Tumgik
#irl drama cw
snake-eyes-11 · 1 year
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📱- ooc; Remember when I used to be active over here? Yeah, me too...
I've been going back and forth on whether or not to write this post for weeks now...but I feel I should.
Some of you will know that I went to Canada for my brother's wedding this summer. Well, after the wedding, my brother moved out there with his wife. He had no house, no car, no job prospects and only a few of his belongings. Why? No idea. He still won't give much of an answer beyond: "If not now, when?". Added to that, on the day he left for the airport (with my now sister-in-law) we expected to bid them farewell in their empty flat...only, their flat wasn't empty. Their furniture was still there, they still had food in the fridge freezer, cosmetics, cleaning products and boxes in the cupboards and so much more. It then fell on my family's shoulders to deal with what was left behind, bearing in mind that the flat had already been sold at this point and we had no idea how long the sale would take to complete. Four months later, we have just finished clearing it and the sale has just this week completed.
What has this got to do with writing? Well, I've always been very close to my family...and him leaving has taken a huge toll on my parents, my other brother, my younger niece...and me, too. As a result of this huge, emotional change, my writing inspiration has flip-flopped between tonnes and nothing, and it's also been my coping mechanism. If I bury myself in the daydreams long enough, I can forget about everything else.
But...I've been struggling a lot lately. Added on top of that drama, the funding at work has been significantly impacted by the economic crisis and it's had repercussions across the board. At this point in time, I've been told that the administrative work I do on a Monday will no longer be viable as of next month. The rest of my work? As of this moment, I have no idea.
I've had two pretty severe panic attacks over the past couple of weeks. I didn't mention these at the time because it seemed pointless once I'd sorted myself out and got my head around things, plus I didn't want to worry anyone because I care very much about you guys over here.
I'm trying very hard to find my feet in writing over here again. The dash has mostly been very quiet and I've been roleplaying over on D.isco.rd more often lately which has taken up most of my time. Sometimes, I feel a bit irrelevant over here and I know that's probably untrue but my head is already scrambled so much that it's hard to break out it.
It's my birthday next week and I've booked a few days off, so hopefully I can have some fun and relax a bit during that time.
TL;DR: Mun has been through a lot of IRL emotional drama lately which has impacted her mental health and activity.
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faetedforglory · 1 year
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,,
Lmao my friend is talking about being torn on being friends with my abuser again I hate it here
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ribesrubrum · 2 months
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under the mask of pride (fear rises as a guide)
//so i feel...honestly, a little guilty for how little i've been around as of late, especially since things are picking up drama-wise. irl debuffs aplenty will do that to you. but i wanted to get some writing out to kind of describe Carmine's mental state, so. here we are.
//fair warning: this fic is technically kind of offscreen rp in that it's at least canon that ren and carmine talked like this, though i'd greatly prefer it not be spread as a rumor or leak or something. but it also does talk about some heavy topics; namely very heavy self loathing, some mention of parental abandonment and abuse (heehoo headcanoning carmine's parents/why she's like this), mentions of bullying, self harm in the form of hair pulling/trichotillomania, and uh. ...look i'm not gonna beat around the bush, i don't wanna edgelord, i wanna treat this with respect but i also don't wanna sugarcoat it, this gets about as close to implying carmine was about to take drastic measures to alleviate her suffering as i'm comfortable with getting. the less implicit version of this warning will be in the tags. please uncollapse the tags before reading. dead dove: do not eat is in full effect here.
//this is going to be pretty heavy, and also stupid long. feel free to click if you're okay with handling that.
Carmine's listlessness has only grown as the days have worn on, she's finding. It doesn't help that her knuckles are still raw from punching her wall a day prior--she's thankful it seems like the wall fix went off without a hitch, and all she got was a rather stern talking to about making noise so late at night before the teacher that spoke with her went off. Cardigan's been sticking close to her side since Leavanny elected to stay near Kieran at least for a time, but even now, she feels pathetic for it.
Pathetic that she can't help her brother. Pathetic that she can't help her girlfriend, who simply wants to make sure that the whole club that they built together and maintained isn't destroyed because of Drayton's boneheaded move. If Carmine looked deep within herself, she'd be looking at Kiki's actions too, that he allowed this, that he's possibly setting himself up to lose everything. That Drayton's encouraging it, and she's been more on edge than ever and ready to tear someone apart for it. If she doesn't wind up punching him out when all is said and done, she's going to be very surprised.
Cardigan trills a bit from beside her, and she looks down to the flower-less Lilligant, pausing a bit as she looks down. She recognizes that trill, and knows that she's probably being concerning right now. Emotional regulation is still something that Carmine struggles with, even now, knowing that she can't and she shouldn't scream her feelings out to try and get people to understand, that yelling doesn't help, that you have to see other's perspectives. Even if sometimes, they trounce all over your own. Carmine looks down to Cardigan, giving the Lilligant a tired smile.
"...Sorry, Cardi. I know I'm probably not making your job very easy." It's soft in a way Carmine never usually is. In a way that Carmine never allows herself to be--she's all bravado and arrogance because for years, that's what kept her safe. That's what kept her and her brother safe, even if it clipped his wings and made everyone around her hesitant to approach either of them. It was safety, the thorns and briars that she metaphorically planted around herself, letting them spread where she walked and lashing them out at anyone who would even for a second think of hurting her. It was safety, it was lonely, but it was home.
...It's no wonder she likes grass types so much. The Lilligant's gaze only seems to get sadder when she says that much, gentle, leafy hands going to take one of her own as Cardigan stares up at her, as if trying to communicate something with those amber eyes that almost seem pleading. Carmine's hand trembles a bit, because once again she doesn't understand, she can't understand, why can't she--
Carmine hears footsteps, and immediately, her guard is up. She's immediately ready to go on the attack, in case anyone saw her, in case she has to defend being out for a walk in the Canyon Biome with her therapy Pokemon, something she's already received plenty of jabs about--but no. There's a familiar mop of blue hair, and that silly, dorky looking Orthworm is following them and waving with them, as Terry and Mio seem to take over where they left off. Ren's an idiot, in the bluntest of terms, but there's a sense of safety that comes with them. That they can see her, at her worst and most cruel, and laugh and let it slide off their back so easily. Because they were her age once. Her gender once, even, though that's largely irrelevant. They always seem so certain and keep their spirits so high, even if she's the only one they've trusted with some of their worries. And Carmine in turn, has trusted Ren with some of hers.
...They're about as disconnected from this entire situation as they can be, even though they met during that trip. It's as Carmine is contemplating going up to them and being a bother and just turning heel and walking away that the choice is made for her, as they turn around, start walking and see her--
"Oh! Miss Carmine, hey!"
She could walk away. She could just tell them to piss off and lash out, and destroy one of the few unconnected relationships she has with this entire mess, one of the few things that's genuinely hers. She could recede inside herself, lock herself away like she did after she reached her breaking point, when she nearly...
"Hey, Ren. Finally getting your nose out of those cameras?"
The barb is light, half-hearted at best, and could probably make someone deeply passionate a little upset at being teased. And yet Ren takes it in stride, laughing easily as they walk up, Lulu going to Cardigan and just kind of talking with the Lilligant for a moment. "You know it, girlie! Arc, all of these worms are doin' so well, they ain't overwhelmin' the environment nor gettin' overwhelmed themselves--everything's so perfect right now, it's really amazing! Ohh, I gotta tell you about some of the babies, they're just--"
For a brief moment, Carmine thinks she can just get away with Ren going on a hyperfixation ramble and forgetting her own worries in favor of focusing on the things her rival has accomplished. Because it is quite the accomplishment, even if Carmine's definitely harped on them for trying to downplay it before. But their gaze goes to Cardigan and Lulu, falling quickly and their words fading off as Carmine looks, and now everyone looks concerned.
Carmine's posture tightens as she realizes she can't get away with this so easily. She feels their gaze dart back to her, and she's already sure her expression is stormy, and...
"...I think that's enough about me." Fuck. Their voice has softened considerably, and she knows she's done for. "Miss Carmine, are you--"
"I'm fine, Ren." It comes out too sharp, too defensive, and there's a brief moment where she's hoping Ren will just walk away at that. She's shaking, she knows she is, and her gaze averts a bit only to feel not just Cardigan, but Lulu--that stupid, brainless worm--take her hands, wrapping them both in leaves and tendrils, and it feels disgusting and bitter and she wants to run and hide, she wants to tear her hands away--
"...Miss Carmine." Ren's voice sounds so soft, so...sad for a moment, and there's a pause as more footsteps can be heard--Carmine doesn't even bother to flinch, but she feels a tug on both of her hands as she opens her eyes, seeing Ren nod at both Pokemon before looking to her with a smile that's both soft and sad.
"Come on, Miss Carmine. Let's go somewhere else to talk, okay?"
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The trip back to her room is arduous, even though it barely takes more than fifteen minutes. Every agonizing second feels like a walk of shame, but she realizes something along the way. It's only so long because Ren knows their way around here like the back of their hand now; they know where people aren't, because they aren't some social butterfly who likes to help in every club. They take her through an easy but arduous path that leaves her alone in her head, and it takes a couple of second after Ren's stopped for her to stop too.
"...You must have a lot on yer mind to be makin' mistakes like this, Miss Carmine." Ren's voice is soft, non-judgemental, and they don't even flinch when she turns back to face them with something of a severe expression. It's the kind of care and kindness she doesn't deserve, she's sure, but as she unlocks the door to her room and ushers Ren and their Pokemon inside, it's something she finds herself internally thankful for.
Carmine's room is a mess, perhaps moreso than usual. Stress eating will do that, bags of chips and other sweet and savory alike strewn about. Cardigan doesn't even seem surprised, but Lulu, bless his stupid little soul, seems taken aback by it as he draws himself inside. She hears Ren's footsteps as they close the door behind them, a small sound escaping them as they walk in front of Carmine.
"You want some help cleanin' off that bed of yours?" Carmine looks over at her messy, disheveled bed, and it's many snacks and wrappers as well. It's an absolute Tepigsty, more than she'd ever allow anyone to see. She feels herself listlessly nod her head as she looks over to Ren, who's concern hasn't dampened even an inch as they move to help in an instant. She's thankful she's got a vacuum and that it's early enough in the afternoon that nobody's likely around the dorms; Cardigan and Lulu both assist as well as they help clear it off, at least enough to let Carmine sit down on it once they're all done.
Cardigan hops on the bed with Carmine as she sits down, and Lulu rests his head near Ren's feet as he gets himself comfortable on the floor, and Ren looks to her, finally broaching the topic, "Ya look like you got a lot on yer mind, Miss Carmine. You sure everything's okay?"
It takes Carmine a lot longer than she'd like to respond. Cardigan gently takes hold of one of Carmine's hands, gently petting it with her own leafy appendage. The eventual response she settles on is a bitter laugh.
"...I don't know." It comes out so soft and uncertain, it feels like she's a different person entirely when she says it. "I thought everything was fine. I thought...I don't know, I thought that everything would be okay. I really let myself believe that now that I made up with my brother, that everything would go back to some sort of normal, but..."
Carmine's voice pitches higher and higher with every word, and she finds herself shaking a bit. She can't even look at her rival right now, how pathetic can she even get?
"Oh, Carmine..." There's not even that weirdly respectful 'Miss' at the beginning of her name, and a part of her hates that, that she's being seen as sympathetic for even a moment when she doesn't deserve it, she doesn't deserve this, if she'd just trusted Kiki-- "Nothin' is ever that easy, but I remember how relieved ya were when Kiki actually bothered to respond."
"Yeah." Carmine confirms that much, listlessly, but a ghost of a smile traces her face. "...It really filled me with hope, for a second. That maybe things could go back to some sort of normal, that I could really see Kiki for all he is. It wanted to be seen and come into it's own, and I...I didn't know how to do that, but..."
"...But you wanted to try." Ren's words softly intervene. Carmine nods shortly after.
"I wanted to try. I still do. But it's...that big fight happened, and now everything's just...it feels like we're right back where we started."
Carmine's voice breaks a little bit, and try as she might to rein it in, it's harder to get back on track. At this point, she feels, she might as well just give up.
"...I don't know what to do."
Carmine's gaze stays down, because she can't look at Ren, she can't, she just can't. But Ren's words; soft, steady words, a contrast to the cold steel they loved so dearly, pour out none the less.
"...It's a tough position to be in, Carmine. Ya got your brother and it's undyin' need to win on one side, and ya got Miss Amarys tryin' her damnedest to hold everyone together on the other, yeah?"
"Yeah. And it's like--I don't want to destroy the relationship I have with my brother. I want to rebuild it, to let it come into it's own. But I...my beloved is right, even if I worry about saying it. She tries so hard to uphold the rules of the club, of this school, and these--these jerks keep sending her horrible, disgusting things for it. And for what?"
A quiet settles over the room, and she's sure Ren expects her to elaborate, but she doesn't. Not even she knows what, and she's sure Ren gets it by the time they speak up next.
"...I ain't gonna go makin' any assumptions, but...I don't even think I know the answer to that, Carmine."
It's soft, when Ren admits it. Sad, even. She can only imagine what their face is doing right now, and it gets Carmine to laugh a bit. Bitterly, wretchedly.
"Neither do--neither do I, Ren. And do you know how much that kills me?"
Carmine's voice pitch rises, and she feels her free hand drawing into her hair, Cardigan's trills of concern becoming more apparent as she tries to hop over and dislodge it--
"I love Kiki! I love Amarys! I love them both more than life itself and I--if I say anything at all, I'm going to hurt one of them. Both of them, even, maybe, whether I intend it or not! And the little Mandibuzzes on here, flying around and trying to hurt everyone in this school, they'll be on it in an instant, they'll--they'll hurt them both, they'll turn them both against each other, and I--if I do anything, they already know it's my fault from the start, that all of this is, that I was stupid and boneheaded and lied to my brother because I was scared it could've gotten hurt--"
"Miss Carmine."
"--and I told Juliana to lie, yes, I got so worried that Kiki would just get so excited and that Ogerpon could've hurt or done something worse to it, but then my grandfather told me to keep my mouth shut about helping Ogerpon and I--I didn't--"
"Miss Carmine."
"--And then it--it stole her mask, and I've never been more angry in my life at it, and it just--it keeps stomping on others feelings, and it won't believe anyone, and I don't know what I can actually do--"
"Miss Carmine, please--!"
"WHAT?! WHAT DO YOU WANT?!"
Carmine's shriek practically causes her to lunge at her friend, the firm tone in that moment making her see someone else. Wide yellow eyes fiercely stare at bright blue ones, as Ren startles a bit at the ferocity in her tone. The quiet over the room is tense and uneasy, and Ren already sees a few strands got torn out because of it. They take a gentle breath in as realization hits Carmine, but she's still for a moment. Still as Cardigan trills with concern, as Lulu looks up with even more concern on his dopey little face, though he looks ready to hold Carmine back more than anything.
Ren's surprisingly quick on the uptake, at least, and they speak up again before Carmine can.
"Isn't that somethin' you should be askin' of yourself?"
Ren's words are confusing, and the confusion must be apparent on her face as they reach her ears. Ren gently breathes, and continues, "I mean it. You've been talkin' this entire time about Kiki this, Amarys that, and I ain't gonna disparage you for that. Sure puts any rumors of ya bein' self centered to bed, not that I believed 'em anyway. But..."
"What is it that ya want, at the end of it all? Isn't that a question that's come up even once for ya...?"
Carmine can't even believe what she's hearing.
"Why does that matter? I've taken what I wanted for years, I--"
"Okay, you hold on a second here." Ren's words are still soft, but there's a firmness to them now that cuts through her words like butter. "When did that stop bein' a question you asked yerself?"
"It doesn't matter--"
"It absolutely does matter? Girl, yer gettin' tugged in two different directions and ya sound like yer long past the end of yer rope."
"Why does it matter when I've been nothing but a selfish bitch this entire time?!"
And that startles Ren enough to actually get them to stop for a second, completely taken aback. Carmine's gaze goes downward, and she's shaking, horribly.
"Those anons were right, okay?! I ruined Kiki's one good friendship because I'm a bonehead, I'm a failure of a girlfriend who can't even help the girl I love so much with her anger and problems other than just being there like a useless cardboard cutout, I deserve this, all of it, even all of the hateful words and it would've just been so much easier if I had--"
Something stops Carmine in her tracks from speaking. Multiple of them, really. Cardigan's hands, for starters, wrapped firmly around one of her own hands; two of Lulu's tendrils wrap around the other, and even Carmine has to admit that she's surprised by how little an Orthworm's head seems to weigh as he rests his head on one of her legs with concern.
The final thing, that she didn't even hear, is Ren getting up and putting a firm, supportive hand on her shoulder, tiny as said hand is. When she actually gets a look at their face, they look like they're about to cry, and for a brief moment she wonders if she's just gone and ruined another friendship.
"Don't--don't you dare talk about yerself like that again, you hear me?"
Oh. That's not what she expected at all; Ren's voice practically trembles as they say that, and it hits something in her. Carmine's eyes well up with tears of her own, and she can practically hear herself sniffling.
"...I'm sorry, Ren." Her voice is so soft, so delicate, so fragile in the moment that she wonders if it's her own. "I'm...I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm..."
"I know you are." Ren's voice softens from that point on, and their grip becomes a little easier. A little more slack, but still there. "When did ya stop seein' yerself as someone not worth considerin' the feelin's of, girl...?"
"...I don't know. It was...before that. Maybe when Amarys and Kiki fought that one time. I--I don't know." Carmine's voice is shaky as she struggles to keep herself together, and she feels Cardigan shift and pull her arm into a hug, and the tears start pouring down at that. She can't stop them, even if she's not a sobbing wreck with no dignity. Yet, at least. "...I don't want to lose anything else."
That gets a pause from Ren, who does their best to calm themself down. "Anything else...?"
"...My parents are divorced. My dad was...he was awful. Just a screaming, bumbling oaf who went from job to job while my mom stayed home and took care of us. Though she was...she was way more focused on Kiki..."
Ren listens carefully, nodding their head as Carmine continues.
"I haven't seen either of them in...years. We usually live with our grandparents, when we're not here. Last time I saw my mom, we got into an argument. I asked her why she stopped caring for me. Why she just...tried to leave me with him--"
"...She what?"
Carmine spares a quick glance at Ren's face, when they say that--practically seething with an anger they don't usually express. "...Yeah. She--she said she could only handle one of us, and that I was Dad's favorite, so..."
"Girl." Ren's doing their best to keep their tone level, but the anger doesn't leave. Hell, if anything, it mixes with the sheer unholy audacity of what they heard, leaving them flabberghasted-- "What the fuck is wrong with your mom?"
Carmine laughs, and while it sounds bitter, there's almost some mirth to it. "Yeah. Like I said. We got into an argument last time I talked to her. I told her I wanted an apology for her trying to abandon me, before Dad went and ran away. I...haven't spoken to her since."
"Carmine...what the fuck, that's so..."
A silence hangs over the room as Ren trails off, but Carmine breaks the silence after a few moments.
"...Between this, and the rest of the shit I dealt with at school...I...I didn't want Kiki to turn out like me." Carmine sniffles, tears still coming unbidden. "I thought you had to be tough and mean to make it, but I just...I wanted Kiki to grow up happy. I wanted it to have a better life than me. I was this bitter, mean girl, but I thought I could at least make it so my little brother--it'd have a chance at growing up to be a gentle hearted little dork who had something happy in it's life. But all I did...it all just amounted to...to..."
There's a few seconds more of sniffling before the dam finally breaks, and Carmine just starts to sob without an end. She's pretty sure her makeup is running down her face, if it hasn't been already; she finally just breaks, her tears pouring and pouring down as she sobs wretchedly and loudly, her hands finally being relinquished so she can try, in vain, to wipe those tears off. But still they come; the pain of so much more than a simple inciting incident, but still mostly that.
Ren uses their own free hand to wipe away the tears falling from their own eyes, as they just let her for a bit.
"...I want to stop hurting." Carmine speaks up, and Ren starts for a moment as they listen. "I want to stop feeling like the evil person that everyone thinks I am. But what if I'm just born evil, and there's no changing that...?"
"That's--" Ren speaks up, briefly, but Carmine speaks again and they let her get it out of her system.
"I want to make things better. I want to just know if it's all my fault, I want to know if I'm just--if I'm justified, in being unable to forgive Kiki for some of the stuff it did." Carmine sniffles again, wretched sobs still escaping her. "...I want to be able to be happy again, without feeling like I'm walking on eggshells. I want to make my girlfriend's pain go away--I want to make Kiki's pain go away, and fuck, maybe even Atlas' and some of the others. I want the world to just stop for a bit, at least so I can stop aching like this. I...I think I just want, more than anything, for someone to tell me I've suffered enough for this, or at the very least, that I just haven't grown up to become a little clone of Dad."
"...Is that so much to ask?"
The question is soft, full of despair, but it at least feels...somewhat good, to try and dislodge some of the thorns in her. It's painful and it feels dizzying, but Ren's hand remains steady, even if their own tears come down hard.
"...You're a teenager. A teenager shouldn't--you shouldn't ever have to ask that kind of shit of yourself." Ren's words are soft, with an empathy forged in the same shit they went through. Just without a depressive spiral and a shut-in phase. "You deserve to be happy, Carmine. You made a dumb, boneheaded mistake, but that doesn't mean you're evil. And it sure as fuck don't mean that you've gone and become your Dad."
Carmine pauses a bit, her sobs coming slower as she tries to listen.
"None of that shit yer askin' about, none of it's too much. But how's anyone else gonna be happy--how can ya share happiness with others if ya ain't gettin' happiness for yerself, y'know?"
"Because ya do deserve it. Whether ya want to admit it or not. Yer not evil, yer not your dad, you're literally a confused sixteen year old girl who should've never been made to feel like that."
It's shocking to hear, really. All of it is. Ren says it with so much conviction that Carmine almost believes it.
"...I don't want to talk anymore. I...I think I just want to...cry..."
"...Cry as much as you need, girl. I'll be here as long as you need."
"Don't--don't tell anyone about this, Ren. Please. Everyone has enough to worry about, and I...I don't want to put more on them. Please, I already feel bad enough burdening you..."
Ren manages something of a soft, warm chuckle at that. "...No worries, girl. What we talked about is stayin' in here, I swear on my life."
"...Thank you, Ren."
Carmine cries herself out eventually; by the time she's done, the two of them have shifted from the bed to the floor, bringing Carmine's mattress down to floor level so they could distract themselves until Carmine fell asleep. It's no easy fix, listening to a friend, but...if it makes the burden lighter, then Ren has no problem with it.
They were in a similar place many years ago with no one to help them, after all. It's the least they can do.
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bee-bee-kyuu · 3 months
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Play OVERBOARD.MP4?
[Sourced from Chatter]
The video films the latter half of a confrontation between a blue haired, tan-skinned girl and a shorter, blonde girl. The audio is grainy, but the basic gist can be made out.
"Why..?"
"Why the fuck not!? You took a week from me. I'll take your shitty art. Seriously, how the fuck do you take art and still suck ass?"
"Stop trying to hurt me, Grace. I don't care anymore. I just want to know why you led me on for a week and-" The rest cuts out.
"...I dunno. My friends dared me to. And you kinda deserved it."
The blue girl's response doesn't pick up.
"I mean- Sure, you gotta be nice to weird kids or whatever, but you were like, kind of a total-" It cuts out again. Kai hisses.
"Stop that!"
"It is true. It's creepy that you get so loud and touchy. It's embarrassing, to match. You give me secondhand embarrassment, Kaiser!"
Kai jerks forward, before stopping herself. She looks oddly calm. She whispers something, and Grace's eyes widen. She slaps Kai, hard across the face, and Kai retaliates in turn, punching her in the stomach instinctually. Grace grabs her in a headlock, and the two tussle across the bridge, even as students run to get involved and pull them apart. Through the crowd, the video picks up Grace, pushing Kai against the wall of the bridge, against a gap in the metal fencing where her upper body dangles freely.
Grace yells something indecipherable, the word "Ocean" barely able to be heard, and Kai shakes her head, mouthing something that barely looks like "Please stop". And to her credit, it looks like Grace is about to, before the crowd surges in, and someone barges into Grace. She lets go of Kai.
Kai falls through the fence, and into the sea.
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hpscaling · 9 months
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((So.
I walked off my job.
The last straw was my favorite coworker quitting. She had called corporate a couple weeks ago when the air conditioner was broken and the owner refused to close even though it was like 95 degrees inside the store and the food was starting to spoil because the refrigerated part of the line couldn't keep up.
I knew she had done it because I had messaged her to warn her that it was fucking hot in the store because she was working later and I knew she didn't tolerate heat well. But as far as I know, I was the only one she talked to about it. Yet somehow, the managers had found out or figured it out and when I went in this morning, the assistant manager basically said 'She better watch out because she's going to get fired.'
Which I messaged her to warn about because that's literally retaliation. So Emi quit. And the assistant manager got on me like "Why did you tell her that"
Gee idk, because what you said was illegal and I didn't want her to be blind-sided?
So yeah I left. Supposedly our paychecks will come in tomorrow and that will be my last bit from them except for my W2 for next tax season.
But that brings me to the point.
I have no savings. I was barely being paid enough to take care of my bills, and even then sometimes I ended up paying something late or not at all.
I know money's tight for everyone, and I'm actively doing what I can to get a new job. But until then
My Ko-Fi's right here. I also do freelance editing. And in the past I've done fic commissions so if you'd be up for paying me to write something for you in the Genshin or Star Rail fandoms, feel free to message me. We can work out costs. I'm willing to write pretty much any character and we can talk about actual content, but if you've seen me write something on my RP blogs then that's a sign I'm fine with writing it in fics.
I'm sorry to dump all this on you guys but I really need help and having even just some money to fall back on while I figure all this out would really, really help with my peace of mind.))
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itstaylorttv · 7 months
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[A video is Uploaded to Mewtube Titled "What's Going on with Taylor TTV". The title card is stylized like a Phoenix Wright- Ace Attorney courtroom with the words "We are Taking this To Court" written in red offset letters]
[Taylor is seated in front of the Camera. This clearly isn't his usual setup. The lighting is still immaculate, though there are clearly less effects being used than in his regular video content.]
Taylor- Hey T-Squad. I know this is really different from my usual content. But Since you Know Me, you know I am always 100% open and honest with my fans, so I wanted to keep you guys up to date on whats going on with your man Taylor.
As you guys know, I was attacked AT MY HOME in Saffron City on Monday. I still am kinda in shock about the whole thing. Which is why my video quality isn't that great today. But yeah I just wanted to let you know the big developments in this whole thing, biggest one being I am taking these guys to court.
Now, you know it kills me to not be able to tell you everything about this, T-Squad, but unfortunately because the court date is coming up I can't talk about any of the details about the trial before the trial. Trial date is Sunday, so after that be on the lookout for a video that gives more updates on that and how everything goes.
In the mean time here's what I can let you guys into the know about. I just got discharged from Celedon City Hospital yesterday and you can probably see that, yeah, the arm is still pretty bad. We don't know if there's anything that's gonna help it at this point or if I'm gonna lose it. That means between the court fees and the hospital bills I am need all of you guys to keep supporting. Keep lovin the content here, keep watching videos, keep subscribing. And for all you T-Squad and up level patrons, I'm going to be giving you guys live updates about the trial As It Happens so watch out for that.
Thanks for watching T-Squad. Remember to like, comment and share this video. See you on the next one T-Squad
[This video concludes with a sponsorship plug for Surf Sharpedo VPN]
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what fucker??
the guy i ended up rescuing donner from like thirteen years ago back when my family and i lived in sinnoh
who made his pokemon fight to kill
and his nidorino ended up injuring my jolteon pretty damn bad
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skygodtraumabond · 9 months
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Sure go ahead let's hear THE KILLER here talk about how you should know people and har har har. You really know nothing. Rayquaza be damned. You really think that people stay the same for several years? Decades? Oh you were friends with GIOVANNI when you were kids so you should have known he was going to be the leader of TEAM ROCKET. And what were you going to tell that bitch of yours? Oh sorry! Your friends were all fake but don't worry you can toooootally trust me. The guy whi famously goes onto crazy murderous rampages at the slightest inconvenience. Boo hoo she hurt some random gal. Cry me a river. So what? Is everyone else that other teams have made suffer not worth your allmighty protection? Are you now the worlds vigilante? What a fucking joke. Oh sorry I tried to murder you! But you are bad now so it doesn't matter! You are just another fucking cop. Frankly fuck off forever.
You know what? No. I'm not the world's vigilante. No one else is worth my help or protection. No one except for the ones I care about. I couldn't give less of a fuck about the ones outside of my circle.
What do you take me for? Some wannabe child protagonist? Some peppy 12 year old gym challenger ready to take down the big bad? I tried to be that again, and look where it fucking got me. Permanently injured. Imprisoned. Down a loved one. I'm done with it.
I'm not your vigilante hero, I'm not even your vigilante. I'm just one fucked up guy. Willing to do fucked up things. To protect my people. I'm a danger to everyone around me in the process. Sure. Call me out on that. But I'm not out here cleaning the streets of grunts or taking down admins in big cinematic battles. Fuck, you know what? I'm not even asking for your trust. I'm not asking for anyone's trust! I'm going to ask the exact opposite, in fact: that you despise me and drive me away the moment you see me.
Because I am a dangerous person. I'm the worst kind of untrustworthy bastard: the kind who can't even trust itself. And do you want to know what the only thing worse than being the enemy of someone as psychotic, murderous, and unpredictable as me is?
It's being my friend. And inevitably having to watch everyone around you writhe and die. And eventually dying yourself. Because. At some point. I will hurt you.
It's not a matter of if. It's a matter of when and how.
I've already mentioned how I feel about the damn secret keeping. I've already said my piece on that. I'm not going to restate it for you. Go ahead. Continue to hate me. You should.
Do it for the right reasons.
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I'm not here to tell you your business, but I think that your instinct that the Truro story needs delicate handling is a good one, and I would encourage you to think about it a bit more before deciding if that's where you want to go with it. I think you want Duck to confront his feelings about diesels, and that's a story worth telling. I'm just not sure Truro is the best vector. I get the sense that you're unsure about the idea and need someone to tell you "you can do better". You can do better!
Mmm, I appreciate the well-intentioned action. But I was not all that specific either about my idea or why I'm hesitating. And therefore I don't know what you mean by "do better."
Right now I only wishing that I had not aired the idea in public so long before I can bring it to completion and polish coz—yeah. The different forms prejudice and complicity can take, and the difficulty in confronting prejudice that's not directed at you in a way that doesn't make it about you... that all makes for a heavy, complicated theme.
That heavy, complicated stuff is exactly the sort of thing storytelling is good for, though.
So, while putting it down is going to be a struggle, and although at some point I'll probably bring on some betas specifically to try their hand at sensitivity and anti-bias reading, I'm not inclined to nix an idea that has so much potential (both in-universe and thematically) just because it's difficult.
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sparkles-and-trash · 1 year
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Literally cannot get work done today because Norway’s biggest influencer (left) and the girlfriend of our Queen to be’s son (that she had before she met the Prince and all but still) posted an insta pic of them with literal coke in the frame lmao
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NONE of the big media outlets are saying shit, most likely because SE (influencer) has a big contract with our only nationally owned media house, and the ties to the royal family, but tiktok, twitter, jodel and gossip sites are going HAYWIRE
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pinkhairandpokemon · 1 year
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[STORYLINE POST: Haunting Regrets, Part 2]
WARNINGS: Pokémon death, human death, somewhat graphic descriptions, violence
———
Auberi’s mind was a blur as they made a sharp turn and slipped into a cave. They didn’t know where they were going, or what was even going on really, all they knew was that the outside world was too damn loud and they needed to get away. From what, they weren’t sure.
Their ragged breaths echoed off the cavern walls as they jogged further in, clutching tightly to the fabric of their shirt.
“GIRATINA, STRIKE THEM DOWN!”
No matter where they went, no matter how far they ran, the memory of his voice haunted them, ringing in their mind on a loop. It felt like they were there again, at the ruins atop Mount Coronet, and all they could think to do was keep running.
A monster engulfed in shadows with burning red eyes lunged at them. Auberi had stared the incarnation of death in the face before, and yet that was nothing compared to the bloodlust that raged within that Giratina’s crimson stare.
They were shoved to the ground by their Typhlosion. The ghost and fire type snarled at the colossal opponent, standing over his trainer’s trembling body. Blanche took a similar stance; black flame-like wisps beginning to dance across her fur as she readied to attack.
Both the remaining members of Auberi’s team charged at Giratina, the sounds of their violent battle causing the ground to quake. Auberi managed to lift their head, trying to process the chaos unfolding around them.
Scattered across the temple’s floor were bodies. Pokémon bodies. The ones of the companions who’d helped guide Auberi through this treacherous journey. They were gone, in the blink of an eye, reduced to lifeless heaps. Volo’s team hadn’t shown a single one of them a shred of mercy.
Ignis and Blanche were the only ones left standing. The only survivors. The ones that had managed to defeat all six of Volo’s ruthless team of Pokémon. So why was the battle still raging? Why hadn’t that horrible man accepted defeat yet?
The Zoroark and Typhlosion were on their last legs. They could barely get a hit on Giratina- most of their energy was spent trying to evade its attacks, which was hard enough- the demonic legendary was phasing in and out of the floor, making it near impossible to tell where it would pop up next.
A bloodcurdling screech rang in the air, forcing Auberi to cover their ears. Giratina came bursting out of the ground, snapping its jaws at the pair of smaller ghost types. Ignis and Blanche tried to leap out of the way, but we’re met with the giant dragon’s head slamming painfully into their sides, sending them flying all the way across the ruins.
“No!” Auberi cried out weakly, reaching out for their Pokémon as the two were flung somewhere out of sight. Hearing their voice, Giratina snapped its head towards them, its eyes locking on to them like a hunter spotting prey.
One of its tendrils came rushing at them, and all Auberi could do was cower as they waited for it to impale them.
“AUBERI!”
The sound of two familiar voices screaming their name made Auberi look up. They saw Hana and Atticus arrive at the scene, their Decidueye and Samurott at their respective sides, running straight into the fray.
Distracted by the arrival of the two other Galaxy team members, Giratina snarled, creating a dark fog that enveloped the temple. Agonized screams followed, and the sounds of a fight could be heard- the whirring echoes and booms of attacks, desperate commands yelled out by humans. Auberi slammed their hands over their ears, hot tears flooding down their face.
“No, no, no, no, please-“
The fog began to dissipate. For a moment, Auberi couldn’t bring themself to look up and see the carnage. Once they did, they immediately regretted it.
Several more Pokémon had been thrown about, this time members from Hana and Atticus’ teams. Some were still barely clinging to life, others were mutilated beyond recognition.
And probably the worst part of all- was Giratina stabbing one of its smoky tendrils clean through Atticus’ torso.
The sight was printed on Auberi’s mind. One they’d never be able to forget, no matter how hard they tried. One that would haunt them for years to come.
Giratina tore its claw out of the young man’s body. Atticus’ knees gave out, and he collapsed face-first onto the stone ground. Blood began to pool around him, staining his uniform.
Darkness began to pull at the edges of Auberi’s vision. The last thing they heard was Hana’s horrified scream and Volo’s maniacal laughter.
They managed to keep their eyes open long enough to see a giant, blue blur leap out of a portal and tackle Giratina down. Then, everything went black.
A clawed paw gently resting on Auberi’s shoulder managed to pull them back to reality. The trainer gasped, grabbing for Blanche’s arm. Their wide, panicked eyes met the Zoroark’s.
They’d been propped up against the cold, rocky wall of the cave. Had they passed out while running?
Blanche let out a worried growl. Tears quickly rose to the corners of Auberi’s eyes, rolling down their cheeks. Breath shaking as they let out strangled sobs, Auberi reached for Blanche’s mane and buried their face in the Zoroark’s soft, transparent silk-like fur. Blanche sighed sorrowfully, wrapping her arms around her trainer.
“They’re gone,” Auberi’s voice trembled as they spoke in muffled whimpers. “Atticus, the team- it’s my- I should have done more-“
Blanche nuzzled against her trainer’s shoulder as Auberi let it all out, continuing to embrace them for as long as they needed her to.
Minutes went by, maybe hours. Auberi wasn’t sure how long they were in that cave. They just knew they didn’t want to come back out any time soon.
Eventually, they pulled away from Blanche, cheeks puffy and eyes red from crying. The Zoroark licked their tear-stained face, and they managed a small, brief smile. Gently cupping the fox Pokémon’s face, they pressed their forehead against hers.
“Thank you…” They muttered after taking a few deep breaths. Stroking their Pokémon’s fur, they closed their eyes before speaking again. “I… I don’t know how I’m gonna explain everything to Blake or Hop. That day on the mountain… that fight… those entire six months… still don’t feel real to me.”
Blanche crooned in understanding as Auberi went on. “…But it was real. I left all my friends to die. I-I know Dialga chased Giratina off, but I never saw what happened after Quartz pulled us out of there. I don’t… I don’t know if Hana made it out or not. If any of our other teammates survived…”
“…I never even got the chance to say goodbye to anyone,” Auberi lamented, biting their lip as they tried to hold back more tears. Blanche continued to cradle them, guarding her trainer like they were one of her pups.
It took a minute for either of them to notice, but a light had begun to seep into the room. Lifting their gaze, Auberi blinked away their tears in confusion. At first they thought it was sunlight- but it couldn’t have been morning already, could it? Then they realized the light wasn’t coming in the direction of the cave entrance- rather behind a secluded boulder further down in the tunnel.
Curious, Auberi slowly and cautiously rose to their feet, Blanche lifting her head under their arm to support them. The pair carefully made their way over to the source of the dim orange glow, their footsteps gently echoing off the walls of the cavern.
Soon, the object emitting the light came into view- a oval-shaped object nestled behind the rock, partially covered in mud. Half red and half beige in color. Two yellow squares on either side of the object were responsible for the odd glow. Crouching down and placing their hand on its smooth, warm surface, Auberi’s eyes lit up when they finally realized what it was.
“An… egg?”
As soon as their hand came into contact with it, the glow began to fade. The soft warmth began to drain away, and now the egg almost felt like ice.
Shit, Auberi thought, not hesitating to scoop the egg up into their arms. It must’ve been abandoned. No mother actively guarding this egg would let it get this cold.
“Blanche?” They looked to their Zoroark, and the fox Pokémon’s ears perked up attentively. “See if you can find a nest or a mother nearby. I’m gonna try and keep this little guy warm as long as I can…”
With an affirmative nod, Blanche dashed off further into the cavern. Their feeling of safety now retreating with their Zoroark, Auberi took shelter behind the boulder where the egg had previously been hidden. They held it close as they pulled their knees up to their chest, trying to provide it with whatever warmth they could.
“Wish I brought my jacket or scarf…” They murmured underneath their breath. For several minutes, all they had to accompany them was the subtle noise of water dripping down from the ceiling of the cave.
By the time Blanche had returned, the egg’s surface had only grown somewhat colder, leaving a nervous pit in Auberi’s stomach. Their Zoroark could sense the egg’s dwindling life force, too, groaning worriedly and pressing her nose against it as she approached her trainer once more.
“No luck?” Auberi asked. Blanche shook her head.
“Okay…” the trainer sighed heavily, gaze falling back to the egg. “…We should get this thing back home. It’d be better if Blake and Hop were here to help.”
The thought of going back and having to confront their friends about what happened made their stomach turn. They were no where near ready to confess… everything. Still, Auberi managed to hesitantly get back on their feet and make their way towards the exit of the cave. They handed the egg to Blanche, who’d probably have better success keeping it alive on their way back.
Auberi pulled their phone out of their pocket, and felt a twinge of guilt when they saw the wall of missed notifications from their friends piled on the screen. Opening the group chat, they typed out a short message to finally reassure everyone that they were alright.
“Hey guys. Sorry about everything. I’m on my way back.”
They felt the phone buzz multiple times after they slid it back into their pocket, but didn’t have it in them to read the newly sent replies.
———
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dear-kumari · 2 years
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ngl, it’s pretty funny that Rayllum was apparently compelling enough to the Teedeepee writers that they reworked their s3 plans to quickly canonize the ship, yet when it came to actually doing something with an established relationship between the main characters their first move was to break them up offscreen
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top-tsquad · 7 months
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Hi guys I am gonna post more because I have more time now!!! Look at my new magikarp his name is Dragon
[Image of a magikarp in a fishbowl that has a kings rock in it as decoration.... And not much else.]
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anaptian-champion · 8 months
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arcdamn it does he still remember what happened that day i wonder??
does he want donner back??
hes not fucking getting donner back
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littlebirdy0301 · 10 months
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(cw grooming mention) TELL ME WHY IM JUST SITTING IN MY ROOM CHILLIN, REMINDED OF MEMORIES FROM EALRY HIGHSCHOOL AND ALL THE SUDDEN HIT LIKE A FUCKING TRUCK THAT I GOT GROOMED AT 14/15
#CW grooming#cw trauma dump#I’m tagging this accordingly so don’t read if you don’t wanna hear about this subject. I just wanna get it out without telling irl people#I cannot fucking believe this. This realization hiT ME LIKE A FUCKING TRUCK WHAT THE SHIT#As a freshman I was friends with this senior. I was learning what it meant to be in queer spaces & learning what queer friendships were lik#And queer friendships that are also Theatre Kid friendships are often very touchy. Lots of behavior that is typically read as romantic#Hand holding cuddling playing with hair etc#So it was a bit like that with this 18 year old senior#They asked me out (in front of all our drama class friends & whatever other students happened to be around)#& I had no idea they had romantic interest so I was shocked. Didn’t know what to do or how to process#I ended up saying no telling them it was b/c I just realized I was queer & wasn’t out & didn’t wanna hide dating from my family#The memories are fuzzy but we kept talking & it still had the overly affectionate queer vibe#And they’d say romantic things to me and I think I’d say things back because I was still in a whole new world of discovering myself#And didn’t know what I was or wasn’t feeling#So when they’d act that way I just felt like I should act that way back#I was so young and immature and didn’t know anything at all about myself. I came from a stuffy conservative background so it was all so new#Then over time they pursued me romantically again and I (again not knowing anything & just taking a shot in the dark) said yes#They were in a relationship at the time too and suggested polyamory#And another red flag was that at one point I referred to their bf to them as “your man” and they said “sweetie that’s our man”#But I had never fucking met this guy!! Never had one conversation with him!!!!#And in actual ethical polyamory there would’ve been a discussion about all of our comfort zones and which of us wanted to be together#But I was just left to guess what the situation was so I assumed that they were dating both of us but he and I weren’t dating eachother#Because again!!!! I didn’t fucking know this man!!!!!!!#But anyway#when we actually “got together” it was all over text and it didn’t last long at all#Because THANK GOD my gut was telling me that something was VERY OFF#so THANK FUCKING GOD I broke up with them over text before I ever hung out with either of them in person post-getting-together#I am so fucking grateful right now that I listened to my gut because I’m sick thinking about how things could’ve gone if it went on longer#I avoided some major fucking trauma by getting out before I’d hung out at all with them in person. Fucking christ#Holy fuck I can’t believe it’s taken me 7 fucking years to fully realize what happened
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garoujo · 7 months
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saetoru is talking abt you on her private blog (@/clorindes) yuckkkkk
CW BULLYING, LITERALLY IMMATURE HIGH SCHOOL DRAMA, SUB POSTING.
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hi nonnie, thank you for letting me know! since i’m leaving this blog & this platform for the foreseeable future i figured i might aswell get a few things off of my chest before i go. i apologise in advance for the vibes this post will probably bring, the discourse & the posts that will ofcourse follow, but i honestly i am not the first person to be targeted by this creator and i’m sure i won’t be the last considering the amount of creators that have been bullied off of this app by them.
first off i’ve had multiple blogs that would be considered bigger blogs such as @/hvnlydmn, @/atsymu + now this blog which is the biggest of all 3. i think there’s a sort of unspoken responsibility that comes with being a bigger blog which i know is no fun but it’s also because it can be super harmful on a site like this, when people weaponise their following.
on that note i’ll start this post by saying that i’ve known tee for probably around 3/4 years, maybe? we were mutuals on hvnlydmn & atsymu and we continued to talk on discord even when i was off of tumblr. i will honestly admit to this day i have never had a negative interaction with tee to my face and she was genuinely supportive of me during any discourse i was involved in. i am not some angel, i’ve had my fair share of crap on this app (of my own doing) but this post is not meant to come across like “oh she doesn’t like me so i’m calling her out” no. im sorry if this doesn’t line up with my brand and my ‘victim complex’ but i’m not gonna lie down and let someone on a power trip on a hobby app drag me through the mud.
first off i had began to get some off vibes from tee when i had started writing on garoujo, notably when i’d just hit my first milestone which was probably around 1k. during this i had decided to move my instagram theme from my main blog to my writing blog.
i’d noticed tee subposting (on main and on her personal blog which i followed at the time) about someone basically using the same theme as her, which after then clicking onto her blog i realised was an instagram theme. i didn’t think much of it, again me & tee were friends and she hadn’t came to me directly so ignored it. i was still a new blog and trying to solidly an aesthetic (before the beige lol) so i changed my theme / masterlists / layouts a lot.
a few more sub posts later i decided to message tee about it because with every thing i’d change / post on my blog, there always seemed to be another post. so i messaged her and got this response in: (i’ve blurred out my irl name btw) open up pics for convo!
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so i let it slide, kept posting & that was that. probably a few days / a week later, tee had soft blocked me which then eventually led to me being hard blocked. i was upset ofcourse because i genuinely considered tee a good friend but i’ve always been a big advocate in controlling your space.
this was when, one of our mutuals in common (the first of many may i add) approached me on discord to say that just like now, i was being ripped to shreds on tee’s personal blog:
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again i was notably upset about this because i was being accused of not only copying her theme but also her writing & masterlists, we did have a lot of mutuals in common so it was also upsetting knowing they would all be seeing these posts aswell. i allowed myself one sub post about “creating a narrative” because i was particularly frustrated but tee then also subposted about this, even though she had me blocked?
i would also like to say regarding our mutuals in common that this was not the first or last mutual to approach me regarding tee. i’ve had multiple people tell me that “they’re only mutuals with her because it would be more damaging not to be” “it’s easier to be on her side”. also i am not saying this is okay but i’ve had multiple of her current mutuals send me not only her posts, but screenshots of her private, personal instagram & also tell me about how all of them and their friends had a running joke / theory that tee made up her boyfriend (ex-boyfriend?) for attention.
regarding the accusations from tee i’d like to first comment on the instagram themes, again i had done an instagram theme on my main blog but it seemed to only be an issue when it was on my writing blog that was gaining traction. if the timing was off and it seemed like i copied her, i genuinely have nothing to say except it’s not the case— it’s instagram (which tee already admits she doesn’t own above) also the hanma writing? i’m still not 100% sure which drabbles she was referring to but i can only assume that 1. is when i posted a drabble about hanma fucking you outside of his subordinates house — this was a almost completely word by word rewrite of a suna drabble i done on my old blog @/atsymu i literally just changed the concept to fit tokyo revengers themes. i can post screenshots of this suna drabble also from my google docs dated February when i deactivated. the other one may have been some basic concept about him fucking you against the window.
she also mentions in the very first recent screenshot at the beginning of this post that i have apparently stolen concepts of fics / posts from her mutuals. what i want to say regarding this is, do you believe that i would have made it this far on stolen work? i don’t know any of the mutuals she’s referring to apart from 1 which i’ll get into. but every single accusation i’ve ever received has always come from someone associated or in contact with tee, she has always been at the root of it all but i have yet to receive a single anon or ask about me copying or taking inspiration from anyone’s work.
i know there was apparently a blog and an ex mutual of mine, who i had a lot of respect & time for who was under the impression i’d stolen their concept for this gojo fic. the whole premise of this fic is honestly not uncommon considering how many times people losing control of their techniques / powers / quirks during orgasm has been done in fanfiction. this concept was completely my own, i had originally posted shitposts about him losing control of his technique & also him putting you into a mating press / breeding before i’d decided to smoosh them together into a fic. we all read from the same workbook, we all have the same material to work off of — two people in a fanbase of THOUSANDS having a similar idea is not unheard of.
now onto the masterlist banners. the screenshot on the far left are the comparison photos that tee made herself— i’m sure you’ll be able to see them in better quality when she makes her own post about it; because obviously that’s going to come. first off i will say, i will admit i took inspiration from her official art masterlist banners — i thought hers looked good and i needed a masterlist so i used official art. fair game there although i only kept them for a few days before i changed again.
but onto the grey masterlist banners, i can honestly say i did not even know tee had this masterlist, also the only comparison i myself see is the colour. the only reason i chose grey was because i had started to use a grey / white overlay on my manga panels for my layout (as you can see far right), and as you know— i’ve always kept my colour scheme pretty consistent. on that note, regarding the actual layout of the masterlists— i’ve added screenshots from atsymu (that i could find due to it being deactivated) that shows the layout of my old masterlists, which was what i took inspiration from for my current. although the title font for each heading like headcanons is different, i had used the sort of old style, basic font that everyone uses before i had deactivated so it would match my fic headers i just don’t have photos obviously.
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anyway on the back of this there was then discourse over me apparently copying tee’s kinktober masterlist, which again was not the case. but again due to tee’s following i had received multiple death threats into my asks the morning after i posted mine. as far as i was aware, the only similarities were the fact we both used gifs in our headers & the layout listing thirsts, hcs & fics (which is very common during kinktober but i admitted below i could see that similarity). unfortunately during all of this discourse was when ffflowers, my hate blog also came into the mix which then lead to tee reaching out to me in dm’s from her old blog.
the interaction between me & tee was pretty good, again she was nothing but nice to me directly despite the way she obviously spoke about me in private above. but as you can see below, tee herself told me that basically most of the similarities all made above were brushed off as basic. we spoke about the ig themes & i apologised, saying i could understand where she was coming from and that was that. i unblocked her & she unblocked me so i could reblog her post, it’s been that way since.
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it is not my place to comment on other people’s experiences on this app but i would need more than 2 hands to list the amount of people that i’m sure have had similar if not worse experiences with tee. i know i have had multiple mutuals who have been bullied off of this platform & had their safe space ripped from them for little things such as: liking a character that this group selfship with, tee and her friends not liking their characterisation. they’ve even went as far as to go through other larger creators notes to check for minors so they can make excuses as to why they’re thriving.
i also know of a blog who was ‘blacklisted’ from tee & her mutuals as they self shipped with arataki itto at the time, one of tee’s friends also did, so they blacklisted this creator and had all of their mutuals block them for this which then in turn drove this creator off the app. there has been other notably bitchy things that i’ve heard but i have no receipts for therefore i don’t see any relevance in starting rumours.
i would also like to say i know plagiarism is a horrible thing, we have all been through it— myself included but it’s got to the point where being accused of copying tee has become a canon event. notably, bigger platforms have been ruined and driven off of this app for little things such as mdni dividers, similar colours schemes etc. and it’s the reason i’m also leaving.
i will say i have met some amazing people through my discourse with tee, notably people who have been in similar situations and i also apologise to any mutuals who we still have in common who are now sort of stuck inbetween. no hard feelings. although to tee: id be careful of the people you trust because it seems the loyalties they have to you are not as sincere as you may believe. you can also go to her personal & read the other things she was saying about me like how she was always so ? at how many people seemed to like me.
so that’s all i have to say, i’m sure dash will get a few responses from this but i’ll be logging out & turning off asks because honestly? couldnt care less. the only thing i’d change about my experience on this app would be i wish i’d blocked tee sooner.
i’d say have a nice day, but instead, have the day you deserve.
— emmie :)
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