📱 - ooc; *pokes my head in* If I occasionally popped back here to do things, would anyone mind?

📱- ooc; Remember when I used to be active over here? Yeah, me too...

I've been going back and forth on whether or not to write this post for weeks now...but I feel I should.

Some of you will know that I went to Canada for my brother's wedding this summer. Well, after the wedding, my brother moved out there with his wife. He had no house, no car, no job prospects and only a few of his belongings. Why? No idea. He still won't give much of an answer beyond: "If not now, when?". Added to that, on the day he left for the airport (with my now sister-in-law) we expected to bid them farewell in their empty flat...only, their flat wasn't empty. Their furniture was still there, they still had food in the fridge freezer, cosmetics, cleaning products and boxes in the cupboards and so much more. It then fell on my family's shoulders to deal with what was left behind, bearing in mind that the flat had already been sold at this point and we had no idea how long the sale would take to complete. Four months later, we have just finished clearing it and the sale has just this week completed.

What has this got to do with writing? Well, I've always been very close to my family...and him leaving has taken a huge toll on my parents, my other brother, my younger niece...and me, too. As a result of this huge, emotional change, my writing inspiration has flip-flopped between tonnes and nothing, and it's also been my coping mechanism. If I bury myself in the daydreams long enough, I can forget about everything else.

But...I've been struggling a lot lately. Added on top of that drama, the funding at work has been significantly impacted by the economic crisis and it's had repercussions across the board. At this point in time, I've been told that the administrative work I do on a Monday will no longer be viable as of next month. The rest of my work? As of this moment, I have no idea.

I've had two pretty severe panic attacks over the past couple of weeks. I didn't mention these at the time because it seemed pointless once I'd sorted myself out and got my head around things, plus I didn't want to worry anyone because I care very much about you guys over here.

I'm trying very hard to find my feet in writing over here again. The dash has mostly been very quiet and I've been roleplaying over on D.isco.rd more often lately which has taken up most of my time. Sometimes, I feel a bit irrelevant over here and I know that's probably untrue but my head is already scrambled so much that it's hard to break out it.

It's my birthday next week and I've booked a few days off, so hopefully I can have some fun and relax a bit during that time.

TL;DR: Mun has been through a lot of IRL emotional drama lately which has impacted her mental health and activity.

📱- ooc;

📱 - ooc; I am pretty overwhelmed right now...

It might be because I had a stressful day full of difficult calls and then my work laptop did an update which seems to have broken its connection to the server (send good vibes that it was just a glitch), but I've been feeling like this for a while - certainly most of last week.

I'm just...so busy right now. I'm either working or planning for a two-week trip at the end of the month/beginning of the next (which I still have tonnes to do for).

But really, all I want is a day off where I'm not stressing out about my various technologies working, what rigmarole I need to go through for the trip and what work I need to complete and where. I just want to write.

Not to mention, the weekend before last was a complete emotional rollercoaster and I'm still dealing with the aftershock of that.

I don't know...I just wish I could realign myself somehow

I'm sorry if I've not quite been myself lately, or not as active as usual, but...this is why.

📱- ooc; Work was really chaotic today and it'll probably be the same tomorrow. Not particularly in the right frame of mind to do much here, so I'll be lurking. I know I still have some drabbles to write and I haven't forgotten about them, but my motivation and time have been limited lately...

📱 - ooc; 7 hour layover in Toronto, let's goooooo

Oogie: Whoever decided to put Halloween on a Monday this year needs to be put on the Oogie List. Such a bad day.

1st October: *hits*

Oogie:

📱- ooc; Me picking characters to write like...

📱 - ooc; I'm working this Saturday and then I'm going to be fairly busy on Sunday, so I'll try to get replies done at some point...

📱- ooc; You GUYS-!!!

📱 - ooc; I...didn't know it was possible to wake up this tired.

📱- ooc; My laptop decided to bug out tonight. I was trying to watch a Ne.t.f.lix movie and the screen kept going black intermittently or glitching in wild colours.

My main graphics driver is updated, so I ran through and updated my secondary. Everything seemed to be okay until I tried to watch YouTube, then Chrome froze, my screen kept flickering and eventually it went totally black and I had to manually shut it down. Turning it back on after that, everything looked normal but idk how long that will last...

I have an early start tomorrow so I'll be lurking on my phone for a little bit trying to calm down.

📱- ooc; Got home around an hour ago. Extremely jetlagged and very emotional. I'll likely be lurking at odd hours today while I adjust. Might try to answer some asks tomorrow if I can~

Me: *squints at the lack of Oogie content in TNBC literature*

Someone: Amy, he died in the movie-

Me: Shhhh (: No (:

" 𝐀𝐫𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐲 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐡𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐨𝐰𝐞𝐞𝐧, 𝐌𝐫 𝐁𝐨𝐨𝐠𝐞𝐲𝐦𝐚𝐧? "

@blxcknwhite

"Well, of course I'm ready for Halloween! When am I ever not ready, Cruella my dear? I sure hope you are!"