And if you throw every sweaty autistic fbi profiler into jail, then WHO are you gonna flirt with at crime scenes Hannibal lecter??

they're tethered and you can't tell me otherwise

*kelly osborne voice* and if you kick every blue-eyed white man out of your country, then who else could possibly be male lead of your fantasy or romance book, authors?

If you kick all of the gay people out of the country, who is going to be your apprentice John Kramer?

And if you kick everyone with a god complex and low self esteem out of this country??? Whose gonna be kinning ur zimmies Jhonen?

im ngl I did not agree with Trouble on the lastest drabble you did, I hate partners that see their partners follow or like someones ig and wont allow them to follow bc they're insecure. it doesn't make sense.

🫣🫣🫣🫣

oh……

if you kick out every mutated person out of this oil rig, who will clean your toilets, Dick Richardson?

If you kicked every desperate-for-love cottagecore woman out of the country, who’s going to play your game, ConcernedApe?

the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼❓" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again

When I was a kid one of my moms would call her period "moon time" or "her monthlies" or shit like that and my other mom straight up stealthed it, but when I'm a dad I think I'm gonna go straight down the middle and call it Werewolf Week. Like sorry kids, dad can't roughouse right now, it's Werewolf Week

i went to get my t-shot yesterday and it took me an hour and a half to get to the clinic and as soon as i got on the bed the nurse dropped my t-shot and it broke and now they're trying to make me pay for the replacement. i think the fuck not lmao

resurrection is sort of romantic, isnt it

i was cuddling with my boyfriend last night when his shoulder started tensing up (like he was readjusting or gently pushing me off) and when i asked him if he was okay or needed me to move or something he went “no you’re fine, i was just imagining myself pulling a large rope. i didn’t even realize my shoulder was doing that lmao” then refused to elaborate and i have never been as attracted to him as i was in that moment.

obsessed with Her.