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#in retrospect. disgusting
camgirlkaminari · 1 year
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hey my friends and i are watching the bnha musical where kurogiri is basically shiggy's vape pen but with glowing eyes (in real he's a smoke machine we think) and we were wondering what flavour vape he is? i thought you would know the answer to this.
ok so first of all, SO glad you came to me with this. this is so important. initially, my first impulse was to say OBVIOUSLY since he is purble, he must taste like grape. but then i was like no that's too obvious. too simple. perhaps he is blackberry. or funnier, watermelon breeze. or whatever. but I can't choose there's so many hilarious flavors he could be. my man is the reanimated corpse of a seventeen year old who is in charge of a bunch of unhinged 20 somethings, perhaps he is whatever Slapple Menthol™ must be. or, considering this is shiggy smoking this man, perhaps he is a clove situation: no tobacco, all spice (all the sigma males smoke clove.) eventually, defeated, i had to consult my crack team of scientists (goof chat) on this matter and it was very much a consensus:
he purble. so he taste like
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sexy-sapphic-sorcerer · 5 months
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if there is anyone who deserves a free pass on queerbait/clickbait it's these guys. it's only fair.
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iscariotapologist · 1 year
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just read all of my little poem journals from lent last year . good lord
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skiitter · 1 year
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Casually digesting spoilers about the later First Law books trying to see what’s going on with Glokta. Is he okay? Is he happy? Has he rid the Union of stairs? Is he still licking sourly at his empty gums???
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fellhellion · 10 months
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Headsoup thoughts about Miguel and his early relationship with physical retaliation to bullies and fear, but man. Tyler Stone telling Miguel on the way to boarding school that if he does something to jeopardise George O’Hara’s chances for promotion on the back of Miguel’s efforts, it’s his fault when that anger is taken out on Conchata and Gabriel. Xina, who was only a child and didn’t know, trying to encourage Miguel to stand up for himself and hit back and him saying yeah he’s scared when she teases him. Miguel saying he wanted so badly to strike his father but was afraid he’d kill him, when he wanted George to suffer every indignity of age and decline.
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i think a lot about the time i got into a (polite) comment argument with a feminist blogger because this person had written a post about how problematic it was that glee was conflating sexuality and gender identity because kurt was a gay guy but he used the girls’ bathroom which is a thing trans people do and i was trying to explain that i hadn’t watched the show but i was pretty sure he was just supposed to be a gay guy who used the girls’ bathroom like ricky from my so-called life or my actual then-close friend from my literal real high school experience that actually happened
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lindwurmkai · 1 year
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I wish I could opt out of posts telling me I am supposedly some kind of Intuitive Misogyny Understander because I "grew up as a girl" or some shit
Like get the fuck out of my house tbh
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kijagf · 7 months
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justifying the bombing of a hospital and a shelter because there were supposely tunnels underneath is the most disgusting insane thing i have ever seen. i'm losing so much hope in people every day i come across people who think that palestinians deserve to be genocided. because they fought back. because they elected hamas ummmmmmm in 2006. the avg age of palestinians is under 20 and half of the entire population are under 18. the maths isn't difficult if you have any sort of compassion
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aenyaa · 11 months
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MELLIFLUOUS NPCDOM...YOU DESERVE NOTHING!!!
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annarubys · 1 year
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quinn and santana literally had sex like that’s a thing that happened on television when i was 13
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etirabys · 9 months
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just saw a post about how normal people aren't equipped for internet fame, no one teaches you how to deal with going viral, ordinary bloggers don't have PR teams, etc
it was a nice post, but it drove me nuts in the same way that otherwise empathetic disability posts that posit [some mythical neurotypical that doesn't have those issues at all] drive me nuts – actually famous people are not equipped for internet fame. You could be the richest person in the world and the harassment of millions will drive you almost literally insane. Check out this not-even-that-famous guy's account on what his life became:
internet hate is utterly unsolveable and horrifically bad, and the implication that it's okay to do it to people "if they have a PR team" disgusts me. Unless you have an atypically strong personality, material resources won't make more than a big dent. There's no fucking follower count after which psychotic treatment of them becomes fine
The notion that any material or human resource can protect you from the downsides of visibility-to-millions is fantasy. The notion that we can do it to other human beings without guilt is an even uglier fantasy.
If you have a public figure you loathe, and it seems fine and good that they get death threats for their repulsive behavior, I believe you've made them worse.
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claudia-kishi · 2 years
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It's like the stars aligned.
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sutorus · 8 months
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BUY ONE GET ONE FREE
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DESCRIPTION: gojo satoru and geto suguru are the jewels of your university. glued at the hip, you have your eyes set on one of the best friends, but you should already know to expect double the trouble with this packaged deal.
PAIRING: gojo satoru x reader
WC: 3.8k
WARNINGS: 18+ MINORS DNI. fem reader, afab reader, pet names (baby, honey, sweetheart, some derogatory terms like s!ut :c), university!au, frat!au, characters are in their 20s, oral (fem receiving), gojo is a douche (sorry!) with a soft spot for you, gojo and geto are both taller than reader, gojo wants you sooo bad you don’t even know, dubcon if you squint, annoyances to… something else!, implied 3sum but that’s for part 2 ig bc i got tired. enjoy!
A/N: first fic here yayyyy pls support (kiss kiss
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they were those boys in your campus. every university had them, or so you’re told. the ones to be proud of, but also weary of. the ones who could show you a good time you’d probably regret the next morning. the ones you’d tell stories about and never really forget.
at your school, that was geto suguru and gojo satoru. you heard they knew each other since high school, best friends back then and best friends now. they were part of the most infamous party house, the most awarded college teams, the most scandalous groupchats, the most torrid bathroom stalls conversations. everybody knew them, every guy wanted to be them, every girl wanted to be with them. you know the drill.
and although this was only your second year, you’d had enough run-ins with them to know exactly what they wanted — and what you wanted, too.
the two were truly inseparable despite not being all that similar, just like brothers. considering the stories you’ve heard, that proximity would be almost weird if they weren’t so hot. but that’s a can of worms you don’t want to open and, most importantly, don’t need to open in order to sit on geto suguru’s dick.
because of course it’s geto. 
sure, gojo is hot — in a really fucking annoying way. in a way that makes you want to slap that stupid grin off his face every time he ogles you and your friends at a party. you’d go for it, really, if you didn’t have to live to see the next day. you knew gojo would never let you act like it never happened, and not in a romantic way, but in a disgusting braggy way. 
gojo satoru is hot as fuck but you’re not built to handle him, if you’re being honest. not innocent enough, not devoted enough, not googly-eyed and pink-glossy-lips-drooly enough. gojo satoru was complicated like that. he came with a warning label as big as a cvs receipt in which big bold red letters warned DO NOT TRUST. and you knew better, anyway. 
but geto? geto was pretty much perfect. his looks were sweet, dark and kind of edgy, like a black kitty with really sharp teeth. he had really cute fuck me eyes and really big veiny hands and a really cool manbun and you wanted to sit your ass on his fat sick. it was simple math. 
the only thing that preoccupied you, though, was his reputation. and not his manwhore reputation or his party animal reputation or his fucks-hard-and-doesn’t-cuddle-after reputation — no, who cares about that. what worried you was his reputation with his best friend gojo satoru. 
ever since you enrolled at your university you’ve been hearing rumors. apparently, the two of them were so close that they shared everything. everything. 
would never let a brother go hungry and all. 
so yes, there was the slight possibility (only corroborated by, i don’t know, the hundreds of girls you’ve heard the same story from) that geto would want a threeway. 
you, having sex with gojo satoru? you can’t say you’ve never thought about it. you did have that one class together, your freshman year. in retrospect, the fact that he was your senior and taking the same elective as you should’ve been enough of a red flag. 
by the end of the first lesson he came up to you and told you to text him if you ever needed any materials for the class, almost sounding sincere before shrugging and saying, “i’m just on top of things. by the way, would you like to be one of them?”
and scene. 
that was your first impression of gojo satoru. 
if you two fucked a year after that initial offer of his, would it be comical or tragic? he’d never look at you the same way — that is, he’d stop looking at you like he can see your tits through your shirt with x-ray vision and start looking at you like he has seen your tits because he will have. and that sounds annoying. 
but whatever. you’ve heard the stories of how gojo fucks, after all. it’s not like it would be a bad time. 
and tonight seems like the perfect night to make a stupid decision like that because geto looks so fucking delicious in a hawaiian shirt (how is that even possible?) leaning against his yucky frat’s wall and sipping a beer. 
god, you want to bite him. is that weird?
“is that weird?” you turn to shoko, who so kindly accompanied you to another house party with the promise of free, gojo-sponsored liquor. “i want to bite geto.”
shoko looks disgusted, all too acquainted with your ramblings about the guy. her eyes scan around the room before settling towards the kitchen. “i’ll leave you to it, then, and go get a drink. do not abandon me until i’m drunk enough to be by myself in this shithole.”
you nod to her before she’s off to get her fix. and you’re gearing up to get yours, adjusting your skirt and correcting your posture until a too familiar, grating voice yells out from behind you:
“yo!” 
you sigh, rolling your eyes before turning around. 
“gojo.”
he throws one of his long arms over your shoulders, pressing your sides together. your fingers absentmindedly go back to your skirt, pulling it down. 
gojo has to lean down to talk to you, his face hovering over yours. you can feel how hot his torso is against you, his white shirt already completely unbuttoned. it sends a shiver down your spine. 
“long time no see, cutie,” gojo’s breath is warm against your ear, his voice high to be heard over the music. he gestures with his solo cup, “how are you finding the facility?”
you look up and give him a tight smile. “gross as always! is there something you want, or…”
he laughs heartily, and you feel his whole body rattle against yours. you huff in annoyance, antsy to get a word in with geto before he’s occupied. 
“so mean to me!” he looks down at you and if it weren’t for his sunglasses, that he wears indoors at nighttime like a dick, you’d be able to see his eyes looking right down your cleavage. “just when i was coming here to do you a favor.”
you can’t help but laugh at that. 
“what in the world could you possibly do for me?” he lifts an eyebrow and your finger flies up in between your faces. “don’t answer that, actually.”
“i came here to tell you a very interesting secret,” he sing songs right into the shell of your ear, earning another shiver from you. you take the cup from his hand and sip, too distracted to know what it tastes like. nibbling on the plastic rim, you gesture for him to go on. 
gojo’s smile grows that much darker, that much more sinister, a dimple appearing on the side of his cheek. 
“a little birdie told me suguru’s dying to screw you tonight.”
your demeanor must visibly brighten at that information because gojo lets out another lurching laugh. your eyes instinctively zero in on geto, across from you, who’s either doing a really good job of pretending he doesn’t hear the two you talking in the doorway or is genuinely clueless as to what his best friend is saying about him. 
you force yourself to regain your composure, shoving gojo’s solo cup into his bare chest and wiggling out of his hold. “and you care because?”
but you suspect you already know the answer to that. he puts his hands up in mock surrender, and god, your height difference is kind of reeling. 
“like i said, ‘s just a favor,” you eye him suspiciously. he continues, “he wants to fuck you, you want to fuck him. i’m just being a nice guy.”
right. nice guy. 
“and who says i want to fuck him?” you try to play it cool, even though you probably know as much as satoru knows as much as suguru knows that you’d crawl on your knees towards geto right now if that meant you could put his cock in your mouth. 
and who could blame you? 
“playing dumb?” gojo pokes your cheek. his voice grows thicker, “cute. look at you,” and he does, hungrily, eyes scanning your entire form and making you feel oddly self conscious. 
he snakes a hand around your waist and leans in close again, whispering into your ear, “all dolled up just for him. in class with me you show up in other dudes’ hoodies but for darling suguru you dress slutty. everyone knows.”
you inhale sharply. what is he playing at? is he trying to get into your head or what? people dress up at parties, people want to fuck people, it’s a thing. god, gojo is so unbearable. 
you scowl up at him. 
“first of all,” you rip his hand from your waist and he lets it fall limply by his side. “second of all, again, how is that any of your business? salty you can’t get laid without the hotter best friend’s help?”
gojo just smirks, huffing out a chuckle through his nostrils. “you don’t have to worry about me, sweetheart. although i have to say, i do worry about you…”
“what? why?” you can’t help sounding sincere at his words. he twirls a piece of your hair with his index finger. 
“‘m just saying, what kind of best friend would i be if i handed you off to suguru without taking you for a test drive first?” gojo’s disgusting, he’s audacious and cocky and it’s doing something to you. you find yourself uncharacteristically quiet as he continues, “i mean, for all i know, you just might break once he gets inside.” 
“you’re ridiculous,” you manage to utter, feeling too small and too warm. geto is no longer in your line of sight and neither is shoko and you rapidly start to feel like you’ve fallen into the lion’s den without realizing. 
“you know i’m right,” and you don’t, really, you don’t think he’s right at all but why do you want to prove him wrong so badly? “c’mon, baby, lemme break ya in a little.”
that seems to snap you out of it. “ew. you’re disgusting, where is—“
“ugh, i love it when you degrade me,” he groans sardonically, hand leaving your waist and grabbing your hand instead. “come on. i’ll take you to him.”
whatever that feeling was just then, you shake it off and relunctantly let gojo guide you through the sea of bodies in his living room, the two of you earning some whistles from his friends. eyes too busy scanning for geto, you’re surprised when you suddenly end up in front of the bathroom. 
“quick pit stop!” gojo tries. you roll your eyes. 
“you won’t even try to take me to your bed? like, you live here,” you say. 
gojo is grinning. “nah, nah. room’s for the main attraction,” he winks and turns the doorknob, letting you go inside first. what a gentleman. “this shouldn’t take long.”
the bathroom door muffles the loud music outside, leaving your ears ringing in the silence. gojo looks like a douchebag, sunglasses pushed up into his hair, shirt unbuttoned and wet with some sort of liquor, and your eyes do not dare scan any lower than that. 
you suppose he is a douchebag.
but he sounds so painfully sincere when he whines low in his throat, “wanna kiss you so bad.” 
you laugh at his face, pushing yourself up to sit on the counter. 
“i’m serious,” he says, taking a step forward. you instinctively open your legs a little to make more room. 
“you want to what, ‘break me in’, you said?”
gojo laughs and that doesn’t sound sincere at all. he takes another step towards you, slotting his hips in between your thighs. 
“suguru’ll like it sloppy,” and that’s all the explanation he gives you before he’s closing the distance between you two, crashing your lips together. 
you should be feeling ill at his words. you should be pushing him away. if you had any self respect, you would. 
but his hands on you feel so good, he’s kissing you like, yeah, he wanted to so bad. his grip on your hips is almost bruising, pulling your body closer to his so he can grind against you. 
you moan into his mouth and he’s quick to return it, tongue pushing up against yours hungrily. you feel like you’re being devoured, the kiss all encompassing, but it’s not bad, it feels so so good and gojo is so good and—
he breaks your kiss to command, “wrap your legs around me,” and you do so immediately. 
his hands push your skirt up, grabbing your ass and pulling you that much closer to him. you tug on his hair, grinding down hard against him, and he lets out the sweetest, most pitiful moan that sends your head reeling. 
“gojo…” you say his name but you don’t know what for, don’t know what you want or what to ask or what to say, all you know is yes and good and more. “satoru—“
gojo whines and presses his lips to yours desperately, grinding his hard on against your clothed pussy. he’s big, you can feel him all over your cunt, and you suddenly need all these layers between you gone. 
“fuck, let me see,” he swallows hard, pushing your shirt up fully. “lemme see those tits baby, that’s it—”
you puff your chest out when gojo pulls your bra down. you expect him to go for your boobs but instead he goes back in for a kiss, panting into your mouth. 
god, it’s too much. for how collected he acts one hundred percent of the time, seeing gojo satoru disheveled is a power trip. 
“touch me,” you mumble against his lips. 
he gives you a few pecks, nibbling your bottom lip before pulling away. 
“fuck, you’re so fucking perfect,” gojo says, one hand grabbing your tit and another pulling your panties to the side. the cool air on your dripping core makes you shudder, and you feel yourself gush at the slightest brush of his fingers against you. 
he bends down to pop a nipple into his mouth and you arch your back, gripping his hair hard, ‘cause apparently he likes that. you both let out a unison moan as he sucks, saliva audibly swishing inside his mouth. 
you know it’s gonna leave a mark, he’s gonna leave a lot of bruises as he bites and sucks and keeps you distracted while he slips a finger into your wet core. 
you suddenly regain conscience and remember the man working your body with nothing more than his hands and mouth probably has a pretty painful big hard cock inside his pants, so you reach out to help him. 
“wait,” he says, mouth popping against your breast, “wait, you can suck it, i just wanna—i gotta do this first, lemme—“
that’s all he says before giving you another kiss and dropping to his knees. 
you’re obviously not going to complain, you can neglect his dick just fine, nevermind the fact that you want it inside you immediately. but in the meantime, gojo’s got two fingers pumping in and out of you and he’s about to put his face between your legs. 
it’s beautiful, it’s a lot, you want it so fucking bad and it shows. 
“so fucking wet, all f’me” he lays his tongue flat against your clit and licks a fat stripe up your pussy, making you groan in anticipation for what’s to come. “been thinking of this pretty pussy for so long.”
“yeah?,” you whine, brushing some hair away from his face before coaxing his head closer to where you want it. gojo moans in response and starts working his tongue in tight circles over your clit. 
fuck, is gojo satoru in a frat bathroom the best head you’ve ever had? he might be, with the way he expertly rubs his fingers against your walls, instantly finding that spongy patch that makes you jut your hips out. 
“fuck, right there,” you grind against his face, delighting yourself in the debauched moans he makes against your cunt. not only does it feel good, it looks so fucking hot and you can’t tear your eyes away. “stay right there, you’re so good.”
the way he eats it like he needs to, like it’ll save your life, like this alone is enough to make the both of you cum, you can’t help the too-honest praise tumbling from your lips. 
“yeah? tastes so fucking good” he mumbles, rubbing a thumb over your clit. you nod, bottom lip held tightly between your teeth. “play with your tits, baby, those juicy fucking tits, do it for me.”
you obey, head hanging back in pleasure. you keep one hand anchored firmly in his hair, your fingers gripping so hard they start to tingle. 
you shove his face closer, earning a deep groan from him. he noses at your pussy, replacing his fingers in your entrance with his tongue, fucking in and out of you. your breathing has lost all rhythm, your chest feels tight and on fire and a bead of sweat rolls down your back. 
you can faintly make out gojo asking do you like this? just like this baby? and all you can say in response is a string of “yeahs” and breathy little moans. they almost sound surprised, and they might be, because every twist of his tongue and every brush of his fingers knocks the breath right out your lungs. 
it’s so much pleasure that it doesn’t make sense. you think, suddenly, this is why people do drugs, this is why people develop addictions because you have no fucking clue how you’re supposed to live without gojo satoru between your legs from now on. 
“satoru. i wanna cum,” you whine, mind to mouth filter completely obliterated because all you want to do is fucking cum for gojo satoru. message relayed. 
“fuck yeah, baby, you wanna cum? i’m gonna make you cum?” he’d sound pathetic if you didn’t know how much of a whore he was. his fingers go back inside you and speed up ever so slightly, his lips wrapping around your clit. gojo’s tongue works you over and over and over and all you can hear is the blood rushing in your ears and the sound of gojo swallowing every few seconds. 
he doesn’t stop, mumbles his dirty talk right into your pussy, like fucking cum for me baby cum all over my face yeah do it i’m gonna make you cum so hard god you look so fucking sexy wanna fuck you so bad, and you don’t want to know why but it makes you all the more intent in coming the hardest you ever have. 
you grip gojo’s hair and grind into his face mercilessly, revelling in the gurgling sounds coming from between your legs. 
“ohhh fuck, fuck, satoru i’m so close, just keep doing that, yeah just like that—“ gojo groans, using his free hand to play with your nipple. 
it’s too much, it’s too good, the coil in your belly that’s been building up since you started entertaining the idea of maybe getting laid tonight finally snapping. 
you’re sure you’ve never been this loud as you cum, hard, you can feel it gushing out of you and right into gojo’s awaiting mouth. with ringing ears and trembling legs, you find purchase in his hair as you keep cumming for him. 
the muscles on your thighs seize up as you ride out your orgasm against gojo’s face, your feet trying to find any sort of balance or solid ground. but you wiggle desperately in his hold, the man below you fulfilling his promise of drinking every last drop of you until the two of you are satisfied. 
you’re catching your breath when gojo finally pulls away from you, his face and neck flushed as you’re sure yours are. your back falls against the foggy bathroom mirror, chest rising and falling dramatically as you catch your breath. 
he finally stands up, sneaking a very obvious hand down his pants to readjust his erection. once he catches your gaze, he smirks at you. 
you try to roll your eyes, you really do, but what comes out is a slow, languid blink. you’re completely fucked out and he loves it, leans in to kiss you so fucking deep you taste yourself all over his mouth.  
before you can do anything else, anything more or less than kiss him back, you hear three knocks on the door. 
they’re gentle, nothing like the sound of a pissed off college student, murderous because you’re hogging the bathroom. 
gojo pushes himself away from you, grinning. “right on time.”
he grabs both your tits in his hands and plants a wet kiss on one, then the other, before pulling your shirt back down. 
you’re still dumbfounded, your overworked body slumped against the bathroom counter. 
before you have time to react, gojo’s opening the door to let geto suguru in. 
your body jolts, legs closing shut in what’s almost abject horror. you nearly forgot he’s what you came to this party for. 
it feels like you got caught red handed, and it must show on your face because geto shakes his head and laughs that pretty, sexy laugh, waving a hand around to tell you it’s okay. 
“please, don’t stop on my account,” are his first words to you tonight. 
you would say something if you weren’t sure your voice would fail you. but like usual, gojo satoru can’t stay quiet for too long.
“all done. she’s too easy” he announces cheerily, but the funny thing is, he doesn’t leave. instead, geto lets the bathroom door close behind him as he crowds in. 
you realize this space is far too small for two very tall men, most definitely far too small for whatever is about to go down between the three of you, and your calming heart starts to race again. 
“hey, pretty,” geto reaches out and wipes the side of your lip. “having fun?”
you can only nod, looking at gojo satoru of all people for answers.
he looks at you like he hasn’t just eaten your pussy with the intensity of a starving man, like he wants to do it again, right now. 
geto is sporting a similar look of hunger, looking between you and gojo and quickly assessing the situation that just happened here. 
this is weird. this is so fucking weird and so stupidly hot. 
“wanna take her for a ride next?” gojo asks geto like he’s not talking about a person, like you don’t have a say in it, like you belong to the both of them to play with, and it turns your brain to mush. 
geto smiles, handsome and dangerous. 
“what do you say, honey?” this time he addresses you. you swallow hard, looking between the two men in front of you. gojo grabs the outline of his hard cock through his pants, a reminder that whatever this is, it isn’t over just yet. “down to have double the fun?”
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nicosraf · 25 days
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Wait what did Freydis Moon do? :( I've read their books and really liked them, but I don't follow them anywhere online, so that last ask you got worried me
Freydis Moon has been exposed to be Taylor Barton, a white person from the state of Oregon, someone who had a history of faking their race, being racist, and general abusive behavior. You can read more here about this Taylor person here, and you can find an incredibly long thread here.
Freydis was a colleague of mine, and they took me under their wing when I entered the indie book scene. They presented themselves as a Latine, mystic, queer trans author — who was older than me, I should add — so I deeply admired them and confided in them. I don't think ABM would have ever gotten much attention if I hadn't received their guidance.
There had been some whispers that Freydis was really Taylor, but I'd seen Frey's seemingly darker-skinned hands and heard their real name, which was supposedly Daniela.
Two things I should say before the big reveal: Freydis briefly hired a publicist named Cordi, who was also an agent with their own agency, named The Lynne Agency. Cordi, very randomly, decided to leave the industry and left their clients, and Freydis, hanging. Someone else to mention is Saint Harlow, an author of gay, cannibal erotica. On twitter, Saint was known for peddling a lot of drama — sometimes, he was on the good side of things and sometimes the bad, but he tended to be a massive bully. Freydis allegedly comforted some of Saint's victims.
And the reveal:
Freydis is the race faker Taylor Barton. The evidence is substantial, but most notably, some of the files they shared with other authors, including me, had metadata with the names of Taylor Barton's other identities. I was able to check the files myself to confirm.
They were also Saint Harlow. Meaning Freydis was bullying people secretly on one account and comforting them on another. And the bullying was a lot more disgusting than you might think, but for the sake of the victim, I won't share details.
They were also the publicist/agent Cordi. Why did they pretend to be an agent at all? I'm not sure but they wasted a lot of authors' times, that's for sure. Were they just looking to plagiarize off manuscripts sent to them? Who knows. (A friend of mine who sent their manuscript to them fears so).
There were a lot of interactions between Taylor and I that are much much weirder in retrospect. They critiqued the industry use of #ownvoices, which I agreed about, but blew the issue out of proportion, like thinking #ownvoices gay-trans author book lists shouldn't exist because of potential outing, mlm books by mlm authors lists shouldn't exist because of potential outing, and that lists of books by people of color about people of color also shouldn't exist because... potential outing? Taylor was, to me, oddly sympathetic toward certain authors accused of racism and shot down my concerns of a certain book with what I felt to be pro-colonizer themes inconsistently — their response to racism seemed to depend on whether they already disliked a person or not.
I could say a lot more but as someone who spoke to Taylor in private at times, there were a lot of things I was unsure about even when I was on their side of things. To some people, apparently, Freydis had said they were part Mexican, but only ever told me they were Peruvian (they might've known I'd clock them as a faker). Regardless, when this all came to light, their response was shockingly dismissive.
This may be more info than you asked for but TLDR:
Freydis Moon faked their race and ethnicity, bullied and manipulated many readers and authors using various fake identities, took advantage of latine author resources, and so on.
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charliewrites99 · 1 year
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I can't stop thinking how it would be like if Lestat had his interview with Daniel instead of Louis:
"He was the most beautiful man I've ever seen. He also hated himself, which always helps."
"And then he accused me of killing his brother. As if I didn't wait respectful three days after his death to ask Louis back to my bed."
"His mother was hateful. I could smell it. Great fashion sense though. Dark green was in season at the time."
"I turned him in a church. It was...Oh Daniel, the English language fails to capture the picture. Mainly because it's a garbage language."
"He was really freaking out about the baby, like they can't make a new one."
"And then he went into the woods with him. Like a common prostitute."
"So, Daniel, wanna fuck?"
"Naturally Claudia was an ungratefull little brat, who would be nothing without me. But she at least hunted people, which was more than what Louis was doing. Do you have any idea how humiliating it is to live with a vampire who hunts vermin? Like a glorified house cat. Which he also ate. I was disgusted and yet I never judged him for it."
"I record one duet and suddenly I am cheating. I mean I was and he did catch me in bed with her, but he was such an over-reacter Daniel I am telling you."
"She didn't want to finish THE GAME?!!! Who does that?!! What kind of self-absorbed, inffuriating- NO I WILL NOT CALM DOWN!!!! *French cursing*"
"So, I turned her into a vampire. In retrospect it was a waste of time and blood. She lasted like two months. And ugh, the attitude."
"Louis cried, he still loved me I could see it. I could feel it. Claudia just used me as an ink bottle. I had to respect the commitment. Follow through was something Louis always strugled with."
"No, but seriously Daniel, I think we should fuck."
"And he put me in a light oak coffin that opened from the inside. After I specifically requested Rosewood. I know it was Claudia's doing."
"In the end *dramatic pause* I ate the rats. When I was younger I thought I would rather have been dead than to stoop so low, but here we were."
"I miss him Daniel, he was the reason I wanted to survive. Claudia hopefully perished in Central Europe somewhere. With her mismatched skirts."
"I won't turn you, but I can give you a night you won't forget until the end of you pathetic little human existance. You can top I don't care."
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sserajeans · 6 months
Text
bff premium?
kang haerin x fem! reader
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synopsis: after distancing yourself from a friend you've unfortunately fallen for, the rest of the group catches onto her sour mood, and all fingers point to you
genre + others: fluff, mutual pining, friends to lovers, non-idol au, high school setting, friend group is rly just nwjns + yn
notes: i swear yail update will come i just had this in my drafts and felt bad for not posting for a while!!, requested, IM SO SORRY IT TOOK THIS LONG I REALLY WANTED TO BE IN TBE MOOD WHEN I WROTE THIS 😭😭😭😭 luckily haerin posted some pics that ive gotten completely insane over.. so!
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you and haerin always had something special between the both of you.
you two met in middle school, when your homeroom teacher was assigning seats. she was a quiet kid, and so were you, but one of you had to get over it. so when the class was given a paired activity to "get-to-know each other", you were forced to come out of your shell, and haerin welcomed you (surprisingly) warmly.
it started off as a strictly-seatmate type of friendship, where you two would only interact whenever it was needed. but as you spent more and more time working on assigned activities together, you were beginning to realize that maybe you enjoyed her company more than you thought, and so did she.
eventually, you two began spending time together outside of class; during recess, lunchtime, sometimes after class in the library. it didn't take long until the both of you became really close, a known tandem. you were her closest friend, she was yours, and everyone knew that.
over time, your friends became hers as well, and so whenever everyone was free, your little friend group composed of minji, hanni, danielle, haerin, hyein, and you, would hang out together. at a clubroom, the courtyard, the gymnasium, a cafe, the cafeteria, anywhere.
but no matter how many close friends surrounded you two, it seemed clear to anyone that you were closer to each other than anyone else. the same way hanni was to hyein, and minji was to danielle.
now your feelings for haerin grew a couple years later, and you only admitted them to yourself in your sophomore year of high school. that's about four years or so since you two met, and about a year ago from today.
from the beginning, you had always found haerin pretty. it wasn't hard to admit. she was nice to look at, and the way her cat-like eyes turned into crescent moons whenever she smiled ear to ear... yeah, you knew you were enjoying it a little too much.
and it only worsened the more you got to know each other, because you found out there were so many things to adore.
the way she wouldn't stop talking about frogs, her love for tomatoes, her eyes and the way she blinks slowly when she looks at something she loves (a cat-like habit you picked up when she was watching a recipe video for an avocado dish).
the list could go on and on if no one stopped you, and after talking about it to your mom (who was very supportive of everything, by the way), you came to the conclusion that you liked haerin, in a "more-than-a-friend way".
but you had no idea, not a single clue, on what to do with that realization. what would happen if you told her? if you didn't? would she feel the same? would she be disgusted if she didn't?
crushes and romance was one of the most untouched conversation topics between the two of you, so you had no idea if she was even open to such ideas.
but the one thing you knew for sure, was that she was your best friend, and you were hers. you loved your best friend, and so did she. in a different way, or not, you felt like she still deserved to know. you hated hiding things from her, and history proves it only made things worse whenever you did.
so you decided to confess. great!
and suddenly you see her acting all lovey dovey with danielle.
well, in retrospect, they weren’t exactly being lovey dovey, and you kind of knew that.
danielle was just big on affection, as she was to everyone, and is one of the few people whose pda was complied with (or tolerated) by haerin.
and despite not being much of a pda fan, in that moment, you badly wanted to be in danielle’s place, comfortably smothering your best friend with all the love in the world.
oh, and it didn’t help that people started a couple rumors about them being a couple.
sure, everyone knew you were each other’s number one, each other’s best of best friend, but the way you two showed affection with each other was very different from the way danielle does, to again, everyone, but you didn’t care about that.
the bitter sting in your stomach seeing the two of them made you realize that it was probably a much better idea to just get rid of your feelings (you’re an idiot, you’ve had them for years. they won’t just go away). after all you didn’t want to ruin what you had with two of your closest friends.
and with that goal in mind, so began your plan to avoid kang haerin at all costs!
you’re really stupid.
in the process of avoiding haerin, you indirectly were avoiding the rest of the girls too. you mostly hung out with your other classmates from different subjects like woonhak and eunchae. and whenever you were asked about it by hanni (mostly), you shrugged it off and said it was just “school things you needed help with”.
it was a dumb excuse. everyone knew you were at least top 5 of the class. and what kind of help were you getting if you were going out to places like arcades and karaoke spots anyways?
the girls were bothered, but not as much as haerin was. she was often visibly in a sour mood, ate half of her usual cafeteria servings, and would talk a lot less than she already did.
they were worried for the both of you simultaneously, but hyein and minji put two and two together, which only doubled their worry.
initially, it was just you and haerin's separate well-being they were concerned about, but now that they realized the time frame in which you began distancing yourself matched up with when haerin's mood went down, they were now also worried about what could've happened between you two.
so they took it amongst themselves to at least know what was going on.
"haerin-ah."
"haerin."
"kang."
"kang haerin!"
haerin looked up from her untouched tray of food, her chopsticks poking around slices of beef in sauce.
"hm?"
minji sat across her as the first two to arrive in their usual lunch table.
"i was asking if anything happened between you and y/n or something..."
"oh..."
haerin looked back down and continued playing around with her food before sighing and looking back up, muttering a couple words.
"wish i knew."
"y/n-unnie! is something up between you and haerin-unnie?"
"huh? what?" you were sat in the sound proofed booth of the music room, guitar plugged in an amplifier. you squinted at hyein's figure from outside the room, putting your guitar on its stand and motioning her to come inside.
"can you repeat that? i can't really hear anything from in there..." scratching the back of your neck, you gave hyein a seat from behind the booth's drum sets.
"i was asking!" hyein took a deep breath, you raised your eyebrows signaling her to continue. "if you and haerin-unnie have something going on."
"h-huh? what? what something?"
"no not like that! i meant you know, did you fight or... 'cause she's been so sour lately! she wouldn't even give me her leftover tomatoes... she wasn't even gonna eat them! like at all!"
the expression on your face shifted to what most would identify as worry and concern.
"...she hasn't been eating the tomatoes? she loves those..."
"yeah! and so much more! anyways, minji-unnie and i deduced it was about you, so here i am." hyein gleamed with pride while you chuckled in amusement.
you leaned over to mess with the top of her head and sighed, "i'll talk to her. you don't worry about a thing, okay?"
and you kept your word to the younger girl. how could you not?
you spotted haerin alone in one of the clubrooms, cleaning up some of the materials they used for the day. knocking on the room's door startled her a bit, given by the minor flinch, but she relaxed seeing it was you.
still, you could tell her facial expression was slightly guarded, and it hurt you, but you definitely deserved it.
she turned back around to continue organizing the materials into three separate boxes, not saying a word.
"hyein said you haven't been eating the tomatoes in your lunch." you slowly took your steps towards her and stopped when you were a couole steps away on the other side of the desk she used to arrange the items. "or your lunch at all..."
she paused to look up at you and give you a short glare, before walking to move a box to the teacher's desk in the room. you followed a few steps behind her, arms behind your back as your fingers fiddled with each other.
"you shouldn't... skip your meals, you know..." you muttered, clearly intimidated by haerin’s cold facade. "health... you need to eat..."
seeing as how you still had no reply, you decided it was probably best to just go straight to the point.
"hey... i'm sorry..."
you were used to haerin not saying that much, especially when you got to know her more and she explained that it was simply just too tiring. but you were also always the exception to that.
whenever it was just the two of you, one would be surprised to see haerin as the louder one. talkative, always rambling about something, while you smiled, nodded, and gave comments whenever necessary.
"yangi, please say something"
haerin loved that nickname more than anything. it was pretty foul to pull that card, actually. you came up with it when you two were having a friendly debate over what animal she resembled.
"i don't know where you're getting cat, y/n."
"are you crazy? how are you getting frog!"
"literally everything!"
"no. you're simply incorrect. you're literally a cat in human form!"
"absolutely not!"
"whatever you say, goyangi."
"what did you just call me?"
"go-yang-i. goyangi. go. yangi."
"you're so... annoying."
"okay, yangi."
she let out a frustrated sigh, looking up at you with what felt like her eyes piercing through your soul.
"so you get to disappear on me without a word, but i have to reply when you speak to me for the first time in 8 days?"
yes, she's been counting the days.
but wouldn't you be too if she did the same?
well, you probably would've confronted her a little sooner. but it's not that haerin didn't care enough to do something about it, she just genuinely didn't want to overstep space you might've been needing.
"thats what i thought." she let go of the box, turned her back, and walked back to the desks to grab the 2nd box.
"look... i'm sorry, i really am." you immediately caught up to her with a few steps, eyes pleading with nothing but guilt.
"if you are then can you at least tell me why you were avoiding me?"
she stared at you, observing how your thumbs rubbed over your fingers, or how your breathing got a little heavy, both nervous habits she picked up.
noting how you probably weren't going to say much anytime soon, she let go of the 2nd box to face you.
"you're my best friend, y/n"
that hurt didn't it?
a reminder that that was probably all you were going to be to her.
"do you know how..." haerin took a deep inhale, it was beginning to get shaky. her mind was a mess, thinking of the best words to express the hurt you made her feel over the past few days. but she couldn't.
"nevermind."
knowing the way haerin acted added on to your internal conflict. haerin usually wasn't afraid to speak her mind when it was just the two of you, but now she is. she couldn't. and you knew it was your fault.
but were you really ready to tell her you liked her? now? you wanted to show her you were sorry, but it really wasn't that easy.
if things go wrong, she could continue the game and avoid you forever. and just like that you'd lose your best friend, ruining the group's dynamics as well.
but you figured your brain was just making up excuses for you to not tell her out of fear. what mattered the most now was letting her know you were sorry, and that hurting her was never part of the plan.
"look, i'll tell you, because i really truly am sorry for hurting you," you start off, hands in the air motioning whatever. "but i-... i need you to promise me..."
"what?" her voice was much softer now. still cold, but not sharp enough to make it feel like you were stabbed every time she spoke.
"that you won't be... weirded out, or disgusted, or leave the room. you'll talk about it with me."
"you're the one whos been avoiding the talking y/n, i hope you know that."
you often forget how quick she was with her words. it was like a whip. painful, fast, happens before you even noticed it did. you were just so used to her nicer side. she's never been frustrated with you.
"right..."
you took a deep breath, mentally composing a script of how you felt and how you were going to say it. just like the million times you've practiced to the mirror at home.
"i've been avoiding you 'cause i think i like you. or, well, i know i like you. in a more than a friend way. and i have been for a while, and i was going to tell you because i didn't like hiding things from you, but i saw you with dani one day and i just- i don't know. okay? it's stupid. i know she's like that with everyone, but i didn't like it when she was with you, so i decided that i'd rather just get rid of how i felt to make it easier and to not ruin any of our friendships. so i figured the only way to do that was if i didn't talk to you. clearly that affected us both in a way i didn't want or intend. i'm sorry i ignored you. it was selfish of me to not think about how you could've felt throughout everything."
haerin took a minute just standing there, trying to process the hell of a bomb of information you just dropped on her. her cheeks were gradually growing red the more she realized what you were trying to tell her.
"hey... hello... did you hear what i was saying... or do i have to repeat it... because i'd really rather not..." you waved your palm in front of the girl who seemed to be frozen in place. "but if that's what it takes then i guess tha—"
you stopped talking as haerin slowly approached you, wrapping her arms around your waist and burying her face on your shoulder. she was careful to do so slowly, giving you a chance to move away if you needed to. she knows you're not into physical touch, and it just wasn't exactly the norm for the two of you.
"i was worried."
"hey, i've been eating fine. it's you tha-"
"no, not that. i was worried you might've overheard dani and i talk about you when i told her i like you, and that you were disgusted by it and didn't want to be... associated with me because of it. and maybe you just didn't know how to tell me so you went with the silent treatment.... i was going nuts, y/n. that's why hyein was talking about skipping lunch and whatever. all i could think about was why."
you could feel the guilt eating you up bit by bit on the inside. it quite literally broke your heart to hear haerin, the girl with not a lot of words, express the effect of what you did. it was like acid, burning up your stomach, your chest, your head. except that acid was guilt.
"oh god... i'm so sorry, yangi... the whole thing was a really selfish move and— and i should've thought about you first. i really am so so sorry..."
you held her closer and softly shifted your body weight from one foot to the other, swaying the two of you softly, somewhat like a cradle calming a baby down to sleep.
"hey... it's okay... i know you didn't mean it. i'm just glad we're fine now."
you two stay in that position for a couple of minutes, feeling each other relax over time as a result of finally resolving the conflict you had caused.
that was until haerin broke the silence.
"so... hate to be the person to ask but..."
"what are we?"
the two of you laughed for a while at how the question was so cliche and cringe yet necessary.
"yes."
"bff premium?"
"y/n!"
"i'm kidding! i'm kidding! but... i say we take things slow? get a little used to this, whatever it is, whatever it could be?"
"yeah, i like that."
the two of you smiled at each other with nothing but warmth and care, before ultimately pulling in for another hug.
"minji-unnie you owe me 2,000 won."
"hyein you're being too loud."
"huh do you hea-?..." haerin pulled away with a surprised face, interrupted by y/n quickly stomping towards the door, slamming it open to reveal minji and hyein falling forward to the floor. a result of relying on the door for support.
"seriously? i expected hyein, but minji-unnie?" you sighed in disappointment, haerin walking over to see what the fuss was all about.
"listen, it's for hanni she placed bets too."
"...lame excuse."
"KANG HAERIN!"
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