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twisted-tales-of-all · 10 months

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ATEEZ as Boyfriends

Anon request: Can I get a headcannon of what you think Yunho would be like as a boyfriend, a totally mysterious anon don't mind me

Let’s jump into the basics of the universe as we explore how each member of ATEEZ would act as partners, in age order. There are around 1700 words total in this dive, and this post is only the SFW headcanons for the boys, so it’s super fluffy.

Reminder: These are my own assumptions and not to be taken as truth. Take my opinions with a grain of salt. This is fiction.

SEONGHWA

Seonghwa is a massive giver. He's highly attentive to people he's close to and would be especially so for his partner. He will take the lead in the relationship if he can, using physical touch often to lead his partner around and protect them from dangers. He'll use any excuse to hold their hand or touch their shoulder. He wants to be touching you whenever you're together, half to remind himself that it isn't a dream and half because he wants everyone to know you are together. Although he'd be expressive in complimenting you, always making sure to point out small specifics he loves about you instead of simply calling you pretty/handsome/gorgeous, he would be very shy when you compliment him in the same way, smiling and getting red as he avoids your eyes. As an idol, he would know that he can't share your existence with everyone, but he ensures to subtly remind those who can know often that you are his partner, and makes sure you know that you are one of the happiest aspects of his life.

HONGJOONG

Hongjoong is a quiet lover. He's often focused on work, so there's a high chance his partner becomes a muse for him. He doesn't put the full focus on his lover in his life as he's such a hard-working and ambitious person, and wouldn't want his lover to focus all their energy on him either. He'd be supportive towards whatever his partner wants to do, but he'd be clumsy in his expression of it. He's all smiles whenever his partner comes to him proud of themselves, but will stumble over his words when congratulating them. Often, this leads to the dynamic mimicking those middle-school crushes who would pick on one another, but it works. He'd also be a photographer boyfriend; he has an ever-growing album of (mostly) candid photos of his lover for himself to look back on whenever they aren't together. Although he's quiet and doesn't want to show you off, he'd like to match aspects or styles of outfits with you - matching accessories, phone cases, or pops of color. As an idol, he's the type to massively weigh the pros and cons of opening up to the fans but might accidentally mention having a partner during a casual livestream. However, he'd be exceptionally careful not to reveal any details about you.

YUNHO

Yunho is such a sweetheart. He wants to be touching his partner constantly, as physical touch is an important love language to him. Most of the dates that he plans will revolve around sharing food, as he loves to see his lover eating well and enjoying his choices. He's a planner; he'll sit there and make sure everything is perfect in his mind before even telling his partner about the idea. Ever see a puppy prancing around happy to show off his favorite toy? That's Yunho with his lover. He wants to introduce them to all his friends, and he's extremely attentive to how he affects you. Holding you gently, shielding you without being obvious about it, and meeting you on your level during conversations whenever he can. He's also very attentive to your emotional state. He learns all your tells and likes and dislikes, so he can know how to help you when you need him. As an idol, this is someone who pouts at management for asking him not to reveal his partner to fans. While he understands their reasoning, he wants to share such a big happy part of his life with ATINY.

YEOSANG

Yeosang is another quiet lover, but different than Hongjoong. He will express himself through small touches and quality time. He doesn't need to talk to his lover all the time - feeling their presence is enough to improve his mood. I feel like he's prone to overstimulation, so body doubling with the occasional hand touch may be the best thing for him. Just let him quietly sit with you as you're busy working or vice versa, and he couldn't be happier. He's very expressive when he talks, and would love to make his partner laugh more than anything. Although he has a very clear sense of humor, he pays attention to what works best with his lover and uses it. Their smile and laugh constantly make him beam, especially if he causes it. I think he's silently protective, using himself as a barrier - both physical and emotional - between you and uncomfortable situations or people. Because of this, I think he'd be far too wary of the potential cons of revealing you to ATINY, so he wouldn't (unless he's announcing his marriage).

SAN

San is a gem. He's clingy and easily excitable and often impulsive. This doesn't change with his partner. He will often spontaneously do things for his lover, even if they told him not to, because he wants to show his love. He will be one of the most supportive people in his partner's life and will be extremely giddy about all the things they do and the goals they reach, little or big. However, he's also very sensitive to how he treats other people and becomes extremely picky when in a relationship - must get the timing perfect, must find the best possible way to say something; man becomes a perfectionist when it involves his lover and their emotions. Early on, he will seriously sit them down just to talk about pet names, because he wants to choose ones that are meaningful and deliberate while ensuring that his partner doesn't have any negative feelings towards them. He wants to use your name sparingly in the deepest moments, like the first time he says he loves you, so that it's more meaningful. Although he's the happy-go-lucky type and would want to deal with his negative emotions out of his partner's view (at least in the beginning), he would always want to know when his partner is unwell, even if only slightly. In terms of revealing you to his fans, it will take a long time for him to take any risks. Although he's trusting of his fandom, he wants to keep you safe, so he often pushes those parts of his life away from one another.

MINGI

Mingi changes a lot as the relationship progresses and he becomes more relaxed around you. Although he's always going to be his quirky and giggly self, he becomes somewhat shy when beginning to talk to his partner. Even for a bit after becoming officially exclusive, he will tone himself down slightly, as he'd be a bit worried about scaring them away. He would be the type to use subtle touches to remind his partner that he's there for them, and he'd like very much to be a rock for his partner. He's comforting and affectionate and will show softer PDA without much hesitation. He loves holding your hand and giving you hugs, regardless of who sees you. He's also big on mental health and might linger over your well-being more than the others, but it's always in good faith and you know he's simply trying to help you. He'll leave little notes or texts for his partner when they are apart for any amount of time, and will constantly show his love rather than saying it. Mingi wouldn't have to tell the fans about the relationship; ATINY would simply ask after pictures of the couple flood the internet. He's a bit careless with it because he believes love should be expressed openly. When his fans ask about it, he would have a hard time hiding his giddiness while answering, so everyone would know regardless.

WOOYOUNG

Wooyoung is the definition of middle-school love. He will pick on and tease his partner constantly and want the energy returned tenfold. He's an actions-over-words person, so prepare for constant clinging when he has high energy. Despite being very fun and loud and chaotic, the relationship will often bounce between times of silence and chaos, as he likes to focus on one thing at a time with all of his energy. When he's at work or focused on a project, he might forget to message you back, but he will make up for those silent days by giving you his ultimate attention when you're together. Suddenly, work doesn't exist - nothing else exists but the two of you - because you're with him. He will ask you an ocean of questions once you move past the initial teasing, wanting to learn anything and everything about you as soon as he can. He'll be sure to plan dates you've mentioned enjoying or do things with you that you've expressed interest in. ATINY would have no idea you exist because he separates work and private life so well. Why would they have any reason to believe he has a lover when he's always expressing his undying love for his members and fans anyway? It doubles as the perfect way to keep you safe from toxic fans.

JONGHO

Jongho is reserved as a lover. Although he is extremely caring and appreciative of everything you do for him and with him, he expresses his love in subtle ways. He never forgets important dates, whether that's birthdays and anniversaries or simply when you have an appointment. He always makes sure you leave on time and with everything you need for wherever you're going, and will always give sweet little kisses before you leave and when you arrive. He'll learn your favorite songs and artists to have an impromptu karaoke session with you while you're relaxing together, and will always have the next date planned out before you even have time to think about it. He's protective and slightly possessive but silent about it. He shows it most by keeping his hand on the small of your back or his arm wrapped around your waist in public, especially if you're wearing something more revealing. He would prefer you dress modestly in public, but would never fight you on your outfit choice, so he simply proves to everyone that you are his with these small actions that become a habit to you. He won't say that he loves you very often, but you will always feel loved by him. He wouldn't want to share you with ATINY, and he would only express that he has a partner to stop delusions from progressing too far. He'll know exactly when to say it and when not to.

#kpoparchives #kpop scenarios #kpop imagines #kpop headcanons #ateez #atz #ateez scenarios #ateez imagines #ateez headcanons #boyfriend ateez #ateez ot8 #ateez ot8 imagines #ateez ot8 scenarios #ateez fluff #ateez requests

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wishingicouldfly · 4 months

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Why I Believe Larry Is Real

It’s been a long time since I’ve done one of my opinion essays. This week I was asked to justify my belief that Larry is real, and that Harry and Louis are together. It feels like it’s time.

::cracks knuckles::

I’ve thought about how to reply to the demand, which came from someone on X (formerly Twitter). I cannot compel someone who isn’t inclined to believe in Larry to suddenly change their mind. If someone doesn’t want to interpret the signs the same way I do, that’s their prerogative. But that said, I decided to give some thought about how to answer the question.

I’ve been inspired by IndiaAlphaWhiskey and her recent reply to a similar question. I loved the way she answered by talking about long term love and how it’s steady and doesn't need to have a lot of fireworks visible from the outside. It’s hard to put that into words that make sense to someone who hasn’t witnessed it. Here’s her original reply:

The reality is we do not have solid proof that they were or - as I believe - still are in a relationship. Nor should we. H&L are closeted celebrities who keep their private life private. They are closeted, so you won’t see them admitting to being in a relationship in interviews; that would defeat the point of being closeted. In fact, you may think you’ve heard them outright deny being together. Again, if you’re not looking at the clues, and you only want to take this at face value, you’re not going to see any other possible narrative. Full stop. If that’s the case, you’re not going to agree with me, and that’s fine.

If you really want to go down a rabbit hole, my friend @bkatie617 keeps a running spreadsheet on perceived coincidences in the current era.

https://x.com/BKatie617/status/1739715223244742755?s=20

I can list out a hundred things that, to me, are coded messages H&L have signaled to either us or to each other. You can debunk/deny/laugh-out-loud at all of them, if you want. You might call something coincidence or debunk one or more of these pieces. And yes, there are things out there that aren’t true, that are completely coincidence or debatable – or wildly unbelievable.

I get that. In fact, I have a whole thread of debunks on my Twitter bio. My debunk thread focuses on factual, hard-proof debunks to help veterans and newcomers keep the story straight.

https://x.com/Rosann_1986/status/1670101749267406848?s=20

But there are a hundred more things that are real. Or at least open to interpretation. At some point, it becomes really, really unlikely that everything is a coincidence over the last decade, and you have to admit that H&L are in collaboration with their messaging. For me, once you admit they are in collaboration in their messaging, it doesn’t take a huge leap to believe they are together romantically. Why else would their teams coordinate messaging to the media and the masses?

Harry even said, in 2022, “There’s not many [clues and tidbits] that get left behind. Most of the time, they usually pick up on pretty much everything, along with a couple of hilarious coincidences that were never meant to be, never meant to be kind of clues in the first place that happen… end up being clues.”

Source: Harry Styles talks to the Morning Mash Up about his new single, 'As It Was', Coachella, and more (siriusxm.ca)

You don’t have to believe any of it. I’m fine with that. But because you don’t believe it, doesn’t mean I’m not completely, unwavering, solidly adamant in my own belief that it’s real. Especially if you’re not providing any evidence to sway my beliefs.

Here’s what I think: I think Harry and Louis met and fell in love during X-Factor in 2010, began dating, and continued to fall while on the X-Factor tour and the recording of the first single and album. I believe they made it official in 2011. Over the years, they went through hard times through career changes, loss of family members, solo career ups and downs, differences in career trajectory, doubts and fears, and then the pandemic. I believe they weathered all that and are together and committed to this day.

I think they live a private life and have no intention of coming out or going public any time soon. Harry said to Rolling Stone last year that he hasn’t publicly “been with anyone.” I also think, even though they are determined to stay private, they like the idea of some fans knowing and supporting them. Seeing their true, authentic selves. So, they’ve gotten good at messaging their truth to fans who want to see it and support it.

Due to industry pressure and 'image' clauses in their contract, I think they were encouraged by record execs and management to keep their relationship quiet, but rebelled (as teenagers, young adults, and fools in love will do) by insinuating double meanings in interviews and signaling to those in the know ever since.

I think the signaling started in One Direction days when fans began to pick up on the signs they gave each other - the secret looks, the thumbs up, their complementary tattoos.

When they saw fans remaining loyal, despite the idea they might be gay/queer and together, the signals turned more outward and louder, with Harry’s blue bandana, lyrics, the rainbow bears, and more. I think it continues today with graphic t-shirts, even more lyrics, matching merch, intentional mirroring in stage lighting and costumes, and more.

Evidence Larry are together Now

Understand that there’s no solid “proof” that H&L are together now. So, if that’s what you’re here looking for, you won’t find it. They are closeted still, both portraying a heterosexual narrative in the media.

My lens (admittedly biased) is that they are together and hint to us, but that most of what they do these days is for each other. Little inside jokes from across the world or across the room to show they are together. Despite them being separated for work a lot, I believe these little nods to each other helps keep their connection healthy and strong across the time apart.

What follows is a small sampling of what I think is intentional messaging from H&L, meant to suggest to those following that they are still together. Nothing is a proof. Nothing by itself is anything more than coincidence. But taken together, these along with other examples, show two men who are speaking through their actions, in my humble opinion.

They have strikingly similar patterns in their merch for FITF and HSLOT.

Harry’s merch looks like it would be comfortable at Louis’ show.

Harry drew H and L on his trainers on May 10, 2022 on a pap walk in Italy.

Both Harry and Louis used some of the same songs for their pre- and post-show playlists. https://www.tumblr.com/bluewinnerangel/702446259292831744/do-you-see-any-commonalities-between-harry-and

They both had really intentional blue/green stage lights at their shows. For anyone who doesn’t know, blue and green were their respective assigned colors when they were in One Direction. Certainly not a proof on its own but coupled with other things adds to the intentionality.

Complementary stage outfits. See this whole thread by @grete418 on X. It’s tongue in cheek, but it demonstrates what I mean about outfits matching/complementing each other. https://twitter.com/Grete418/status/1536453046611369989

Harry dressed as Danny Zuko at Harryween 2022 (coincidentally, Louis’ one and only lead role in a high school musical). https://twitter.com/UpdateHLD/status/1587297649572585473

Louis namechecked his unreleased song “All Along” in September 2022 (here at about 5:20), which strongly references Harry and a concert they attended together.. https://youtu.be/D9NjoMuz5-s?si=eRB-FwLI9JveMK3N

Louis wearing his 'dancing man' top when the 'dancing Harry' figure is so well known.

Similar visual themes like this. Same assignment, different execution. (Harry’s House/Silver Tongues):

Louis’ new tattoos (2023) appear to be images already seen on Harry’s journal cover and eye motif from HSLOT, plus they add to the existing traditional nautical motif they share.

T-shirt in Music Video for Music for a Sushi Restaurant reading LT Seniors.

Louis used fan images of Harry’s tattoos as Spotify cover art in February 2021.

Lyrics that seem to respond to each other, and/or have similar themes

Louis wears a rose (like Harry’s tattoo) on his shirt on 6/26/23…next night Harry wears a very phallic shaped rocket ship that looks a lot like Louis’ dagger tattoo. Seems like a call and response.

Louis singing 7 by Catfish and the Bottlemen, on both his tours. The song begins, “Larry call a load of smoke in…”

So there you have it. I could obviously go on for quite a bit, with many more examples, but I think this is a pretty good sampling. If you’d like to know more, or talk about it, feel free to DM me here or on X (@Rosann_1986). I don’t do this to try to change anyone’s mind. If you don’t believe they are doing these things intentionally, and aren’t curious or approaching this with an open mind, nothing I say will change that for you.

If you’re new here and you’d like to learn more, there are a lot of places to find master posts. Understand that you have to take everything with a grain of salt and come to your own conclusions. Here are a few places to start:

(2) Be a lover. Give love. Choose love. on Tumblr

It’s a beautiful war 🌈 (tumblr.com)

Great lyric analysis here: it's subjective - My song analyses Last edited December 22nd 2022,... (tumblr.com)

#larries #harry styles #louis tomlinson #why I think they are together #they are married #they love each other #closeted #they never broke up

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bambi-kinos · 1 month

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After reading your view on John's treatment of Paul, I have to ask if you also have thougts on what happend between George and Paul during and after post Beatles. We know how they both treated him as the younger brother and how he tought they were to busy being John and Paul so they failed to see him though other artist saw him etc. We can also understand how he back away from John and Yoko. But what was his problems with Paul? Paul played on more George-Beatle songs than John did and George even played on John's solo record but said he would never play in a band with Paul again. Because there still seem to that he had another issue with Paul and there still seem to be tensions between them during the Anthology. Did Paul really deserved to be treated like that by both John and George. George went on a lot about his faith and spiritual seaching but not really lived up to it all the time. He played a lot about how unhappy he was in the Beatles and being famous buthe lived large with his cars and big house etc. I'm not defending Paul, well I do, but they both treated him so badly. Why, do you have any more ideas about that. Or what other artists, like ex Wings members etc who also complained about Paul's ways. I only ever see it as jealousy.

Legit had no idea how to answer this as George's dynamic with the rest of the band is opaque to me. I put the question to the McLennon server and they provided some very good answers, they have given me permission to copypaste it all here. I hope this helps Anon.

Note: I let the others talk and then I used Discord's "reply" function liberally to @ the different paragraphs. For tumblr I have rearranged the posts so that they read in order as full conversations instead of the weird mishmash that Discord produces. When you see weird timestamps, that is why.

***

Leggy「IT'S A GUNDAM 」 — Yesterday at 11:00 AM received an interesting ask from an anon, its very long so i'm just copy pasting

ask

What do we think of this? my take is basically that George resented Paul because he replaced George with John and their relationship never recovered, which snowballed into these bigger issues about George's contributions to the Beatles and his growth as an artist.

I think it was amoralto who pointed out that Paul was safer for George to attack because Paul would forgive him whereas with John that wasn't the case. and yet George was able to cut John off later so what gives?

LocalGoblin — Yesterday at 1:43 PM I think there's a lot to this dynamic that we're not privvy too. What we do know, however, are things like how during the white album sessions, Paul was constantly undermining George's suggestions. I think it was George Martin who said that. We can even see it a bit in Get Back.

On top of that, even to this day, Paul calls George his little brother in interviews. He has always viewed George as the little kid of the group and that would feel incredibly patronising and demoralising. Paul is a lot more wired that John, and I think that personality trait is just something that George stuggles with. John is the 'cool/fun parent'.

I know John also viewed George as the little kid. And I think this hurt George less because 1. John WAS that older kid/parental figure for so long. 2. You can't take what John was as seriously because he changes his mind day-to-day. 3. I think George honestly (probably) secretly respected Paul's opinion more. So Paul's remarks hurt more.

John = The deadbeat Disney dad. Paul = The more serious and caring/overbearing parent You can see how he would grow to resent Paul more. And I think he also blamed Paul for the breakup too. Or at least, how messy all of that was and all the horrible legal issues that came with it

Leggy「IT'S A GUNDAM 」 — Yesterday at 2:06 PM this one hurts. oof. when I read about the break up in excerpts I get the feeling that George thought Paul's problem was the money and the business decisions and he didn't consider (or didn't want to consider) what was driving it emotionally….after all he felt like Paul didn't consider his feelings 😬

LocalGoblin — Yesterday at 1:52 PM Anthology is interesting though. I really think George's attitude in that it partly because he needed to do it. He needed the money. I don't think he really wanted to do it. It was Paul's baby, and he also resented him for that. Hated Paul for being more comfortable financially too. Paul didn't need to do anthology. George did.

Leggy「IT'S A GUNDAM 」 — Yesterday at 1:53 PM genius, you're absolutely right

Leggy「IT'S A GUNDAM 」 — Yesterday at 2:08 PM this was also around the time that Paul's sweet new deal with Capitol became a thing, i think, because Capitol offered like a significant profit increase for Paul on Beatles royalties if he signed his next few solo albums with them. That caused a lot of upset with George and Ringo iirc, so damn :(

LocalGoblin — Yesterday at 1:55 PM (Also, Paul in a few interviews, has said that he was on good terms with John when he died - UNLIKE George. Almost rubbing it in George's face. I know he doesn't mean it. But I would be incredibly upset by that in George's position. To be constantly reminded of that.)

I think its funny that Paul is viewed as the PR savvy Beatles cause he puts his foot in his mouth all the time haha That actually might be why he's more reserved in interviews now. Sticking to a script… Who knows!

Leggy「IT'S A GUNDAM 」 — Yesterday at 2:19 PM Ha, god, probably. Paul has his moments, there's a good 80s interview where he bemoaned Frank Sinatra attributing a George song to maccalennon, but he doesn't seem to have been humbled until the Heather Mills circus.

vanessaaa0388 — Yesterday at 1:57 PM In one of the AKOM podcasts they mentioned a George quote about how he was the closest beatle to John back when it was only them 2 taking LSD… it's my personal theory than in those months he almost felt like he was finally taking over Paul's spot in John's life…I dunno, I get very competitive vibes from George. In his mind he was competing for John with Paul. At least in certain points. And I think John took advantage of that.

Leggy「IT'S A GUNDAM 」 — Yesterday at 2:20 PM Absolutely. Reminds me of, ha, Paul when he said that John was their personal Elvis. They all wanted his attention and approval. I also wonder if George was seeking a mentor somewhere and if he thought John was it since they dropped together.

vanessaaa0388 — Yesterday at 2:01 PM It's very complex, the Paul-George dynamic

Leggy「IT'S A GUNDAM 」 — Yesterday at 2:02 PM Paul is the one who's always looking for a "project" and can't turn off, being with him must have been exhausting and then you add being talked down to all the time. whereas John can be fun and turn himself off and then maybe the sting of being talked down to isn't so bad. And like we saw in Get Back when John said "we need George Harrison" because he realized George was looking for reassurance, so he could also build George up when he felt like he should.

I guess with John its more like "lots of fun with a few pointed barbs thrown in" whereas with Paul he's steamrollering you constantly and will only occasionally throw in a compliment.

maybe since Paul is more consistent, it meant more to earn his respect? or something like that, like Vanessa pointed out George was competitive for John's approval and attention.

Leggy「IT'S A GUNDAM 」 — Yesterday at 2:12 PM there's this consistent theme with George and Paul where Paul's closeness with John seems to really hurt and damage George. And its not like he could let it go easily either because Paul was also his teammate, not just John's. It was a quad act, not a double.

I think George said that being outside Lennon/Mccartney meant observing Beatlemania as a fan instead of as a bandmate. So he's getting all the trouble but very few of the benefits. And then there's the royalty issues on top of that.

Like, Paul was George's friend first, but then Paul pulped that friendship pretty much immediately when he saw John and never felt like he should do anything to fix it. And then George gets pulled into Beatlemania and then there's money problems and then Brian died.

Brian was George's big advocate I noticed, setting up a newspaper column in George's name (ghostwritten by someone else) because he wanted George to be his own brand outside the Beatles and maccalennon, so when he died a lot of that probably went down the drain too.

Leggy「IT'S A GUNDAM 」 — Yesterday at 2:23 PM George seems to have been very lonely in the Beatles but due to all this:

I guess it was easier to shift some blame onto Paul. A lot of George's spiritual journey appears to be about wanting to escape like when he sings about wanting to see God but being frustrated at how long it will take him. Its real but it also seems like he was pretty weary of life by his mid20s.

LocalGoblin — Yesterday at 2:40 PM Yeah, you're so right. John was also the other Beatle who was more spiritually inclined. He was the only one besides George who was fully committed to the India trip. (At least for a time.) This was probably something they bonded over too.

There's also that quote… I can't remember what interview it's from. But George was asked what it was like being a Beatle and he says he doesn't really know. He always felt like he was on the outside looking in on Lennon/McCartney. It must've felt like a very lonely place.

vanessaaa0388 — Yesterday at 2:40 PM I'm fascinated by J&P but I give George a lot of credit for putting up with them both for so long. I would've cut them out of my life so fast 😂

Leggy「IT'S A GUNDAM 」 — Yesterday at 4:05 PM honestly they ruined George's life in some ways!

#mclennon server #beatles meta #my meta #john lennon #paul mccartney #george harrison #the beatles #talktalktalk

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mikelogan · 18 days

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ttpd thoughts

for the record, i'm not trying to be like. purposely hateful or anything, i'm just so deeply disappointed with her. this last year has been a mess and she's repeatedly acted in ways that, at the very least, rub me in the wrong way and at their worst have disgusted me and made me lose so much respect for/faith in her. miss americana has become a piece of performance art rather than any sort of meaningful activism.

she made a very public display of dating/hooking up with a bigot and basically said "fuck you, i do what i want" in response to valid criticism and then tried to smooth it over by working with one of the women he'd called slurs. almost every time she spoke this year, whether in an interview or through tree, she reinforced my worry that she views herself as untouchable and that any sort of negativity or criticism directed toward her should be discounted because she's an "underdog" and a woman, despite the fact that there are very real issues with her words and actions. and don't get me started on everything with football guy and his trump-loving ass.

she is absolutely allowed to do, say, date, fuck, etc. anyone and anything she wants. she can write songs about all of it. she can do damage control and pr and control the narrative however she chooses. she can run smear campaigns and drag names through the mud while maintaining she's the perpetual victim when she's arguably the one with the most power in any given situation. i can appreciate that fame presents a set of challenges that i will never experience or fully comprehend.

but i'm also allowed to have my opinions on it, especially when so much of it is so heavily publicized. there is so much we will never know and there is also so much we do know that we never should have. pretty much since eras was announced, she's become so deeply oversaturated and it went from being cool to see so much hype and getting a new album and new re-recordings to feeling like everything is about money and breaking records. it's become a machine, a content factory, and so many decisions feel rushed, incomplete, and incongruent. it doesn't feel like there's been real thought about the material itself and instead it's become about aesthetics and sensationalism.

i think that's why i'm so frustrated right now and it's highly likely that these albums will grow on me or at least some of the songs. i've been listening to the 12 songs i liked on repeat since i finished my initial run through each album and i already like them even more. but i wish that it could truly just be about the music for me. that's what's always been most meaningful to me about taylor is her lyricism and the stories she tells through her songs. but knowing everything i know and having seen everything i've seen over the past year, it's tainted my perception of the albums and the songs on them.

i think that taylor has a lot of growing to do as a person. i've heard people say that sometimes celebrities are frozen at the age they became famous and i think that really shows in taylor's case. the irony of a song being titled "so high school" was certainly not lost on me. a lot of her phrasing feels very juvenile, just as her treatment of joe and everything surrounding the end of their relationship has been. i never really had feelings about him one way or another, and as i mentioned above, there's a lot we'll never know about what happened between them. but she's been pushing her victim narrative so hard and the only thing i've seen from joe is his support of palestine. actions speak a lot louder than words. it changed so drastically from the initial news of their breakup being amicable to turning him into yet another villain. i have no doubt in my mind that taylor has been treated very poorly by a lot of the men in her life, and joe is likely not an exception. but i'm to the point where i have to take everything she says with a heaping tablespoon of salt.

at the end of the day, taylor's music is her own and i understand why she's said that she wants her work to be about the music and not about the men. i can see how it would feel invalidating to have her songs picked apart and attributed to the men they're written about. and i'm not even trying to do that here. but i can't recall a time when she's been so public about her relationships? in the past, it's felt a lot more like speculation, but jesus, between ratty and tk this past year, we've just been inundated with so much that unless i was an extremely casual fan that managed to escape her face on every news show, billboard, and social media website, i can't fathom not knowing what she's singing about on these albums. she can't have it both ways.

i still have all the music that came before ttpd, and like i said, with subsequent listens, ttpd will probably grow on me a bit, but idk man, i'm over it. and i think it's important to be willing and able to criticize or at the very least analyze your favorite media, whether it's music or tv or film or literature or whatever else. your favorite thing probably sucks in one way or another and pretending it doesn't doesn't make you a better person than someone who acknowledges it. these are complex, extremely nuanced things i take issue with and when it comes down to it, i will never know taylor personally and be able to talk to her about these things and get her point of view and her thoughts. that leaves me to say my piece, which is what this post is.

as a recovering swiftie, i'm just so very tired.

#ramblings #ttpd lb #ttpd2 lb #i have a blood draw in a few hours im gonna go lay down #im more than willing to discuss any of this btw #but im not going to argue or respond to hate if i receive any #also from a purely sonic perspective?#there is nothing special vocally apart from waolom #and the music sounds so similar in almost every song #okay to rb if anyone is so inclined

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awryval · 1 month

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death of an author, reclamation, and you

"We never are what we intend, or invent 'Cause I make little lies and then I pull them apart Think something dark's living down in my heart And if I wanted to die before I got old I should've started some years ago digging that hole"

Brand New. "At the Bottom." Daisy, 2009.

Brand New was among one of my favorite bands in high school, and I still listen to them today. Their music is important to me and shaped a big part of who I am. Their lyrics about being tortured, burnt-out, and choking on the weight of your own self-perceived flaws are relatable! Their compositions ooze with a level of self-hatred that can only be genuine. It's utterly depressing, and I adore it!

That's not not the full story, though. Jesse Lacey, the vocalist of Brand New, is a sexual predator. This informs everything about how the music of Brand New is. It's self-loathing for a very good reason. I love Brand New. I condemn Jesse Lacey. These two statements coexist. I used to be a part of the /r/brandnew subreddit, and when the allegations against Jesse Lacey came out in 2017, many redditors of that sub were quick to claim "death of the author." After all, the band had broken up immediately after the news broke, and they had also cancelled their tours. Currently, the people using that subreddit mostly talk about buying old BN merchandise and discuss what their favorite concert memories were. Jesse Lacey himself confirmed that the allegations against him were true, so there isn't much debate to be had. The subreddit serves as a monument for fans who still enjoy the music, and as a platform to speak about it with like-minded fans.

In my opinion, claiming "death of an author" is a slippery slope. We can't always claim that Miku is the creator of Minecraft. But often, we see that that is the response people have when a creator is outed to be problematic; "I still like the thing So-and-So made, so I will ignore that the creator exists!" The reason that this worked for Miku Minecraft is because, by the time that Notch was publicly making transphobic comments, he did not own Minecraft anymore. The joke is quite literally that he does not own the thing that people like. He sold it to Microsoft, so he doesn't get royalties from it anymore. You can play Minecraft devoid of supporting its original creator. This joke works so well because it is an actual case of the death of an author! That's great and all for Minecraft, but what about other instances? What happens when we claim "death of the creator" erroneously? And why are we so obsessed with this concept anyway?

So like, back to Brand New... they released their last album, Science Fiction, back in August 2017. The allegations came out later that same year. I own all of Brand New's discography physically, including their last release. I bought most of it off eBay when I was 15. I was not supporting them post-allegations. But that leaves me with a lingering question- what do I do with all these CDs that I still very much enjoy the music of? From how I see it, there are two firm camps on this topic:

Camp 1: You know about Lacey's crimes now and his music cannot be separated from his actions. Solution: Throw your CDs away.

Camp 2: It's something you bought without knowledge of Lacey's crimes, so you should enjoy it anyway. Death of an author! Solution: Continue as usual.

I'm not fond of either of these answers. They come off as too polarized for a situation that is the entire Pantone swatch library of grays. "But, how are there any shades of gray when its clear that Jesse Lacey is in the wrong?" I want to provide some counter questions for you to think about:

What about the other people in the band? You might not be directly supporting the sexual predator anymore, but there are other victims here too- effectively his band mates lost their jobs overnight. (Another example would be LOSTPROPHETS)

Is it feasible to destroy each object you own because it was created under problematic circumstances? When or when isn't this the case? Does it apply to your cup of coffee? Does it apply to the clothes you wear? What about any product with palm oil in it? What about the hardware in your computer? If you look into any company, you're going to find some horrific things you don't like about it. The takeaway here is that it isn't beneficial to treat situations like these as black or white. I don't think that destroying my CDs is going to do anything to take away the abuse that Jesse Lacey caused. Nor do I think ignoring the context of his music will do anyone any favors. The music he made is a product of his crimes. To ignore that fact would be disingenuous to why people enjoy his music and why the music exists in the first place. There's another element here, though. I, and many others, are no longer monetarily supporting Jesse Lacey. You can't even officially support the release of Brand New's music anymore as their record label (Procrastinate! Music Traitors) doesn't even seem to have a functioning website anymore? Regardless, I wouldn't want to support his music in a way that supports him, anyway. Yes, I enjoy the music and the themes of it, but I do not want to be directly supporting abuse that happened BECAUSE he was a vocalist in a band. And I can safely do this with CDs that I bought secondhand, right? This is death of the author. So what's the issue?

I believe there is an issue when people claim “death of the author” far too quickly and scramble to reclaim the media for themselves. It’s an increasingly popular trend these days to pluck characters/concepts from an author deemed to be problematic. "I'll save [Character I like] from this shitty piece of media!", they claim. I don't think people realize how multifaceted in effect that is, though. For instance, if the author is actively making money from their creation, you can't truly "reclaim" a character from them. It's more like you're paying homage to them with fanart.

My best on-going example of this would be Floraverse. There are a multitude of reasons why people do not like the author/s of Floraverse, which I will not go into here. To put it simply, though, since its inception in 2013, many artists and writers involved with Flora either left or were kicked out. These artists either directly contributed to the art and worldbuilding of the webcomic, or were heavily influenced by it. To this day, there are many times someone links me to art on Discord and I’ll say “oh I remember that person, they used to be a Flora fanartist!” and the other person is absolutely floored that that artist was ever linked to Floraverse. Anyway… There have been multiple attempts at people trying to reclaim Floraverse from the author, and this never works out. Like, it really doesn’t work out. Any time that someone tries to reclaim Floraverse characters for themselves whilst condemning the author, that person is dogpiled by the Floraverse community. Which is a weird behavior for a CC BY-SA webcomic, but I digress. Here are some highlights:

In 2019, there was a thread dedicated to Redesigning Floraverse that immediately got taken over by Floraverse itself a month later.

An artist got harassed for multiple years (I think it was 2020-2023) for having an oc based on Beleth, a character in Floraverse.

Just 2 months ago, an artist got harassed for drawing fanart of the characters

Historically, reclaiming Floraverse characters from the author hasn't worked out. And I mean.. why would it? It's an actively running "webcomic" (I'll be charitable) and with an active community that supports the author's current works and views with their wallets. It's one thing to enjoy a piece of media with a problematic author and want to reclaim that media for yourself. It is another for this reclamation to actually be effective. Attempts of "reclaiming" Floraverse get written off as fanworks that the community dislikes. You cannot reclaim Floraverse characters as they do not exist in a vacuum. Listening to secondhand Brand New CDs does work in a vacuum; Jesse Lacey's career is dead in the water. The same cannot be said for reclaiming the art of Glitchedpuppet and co. Floraverse characters and stories are not divorced from the abuses they cause. Characters will be used as strawmen to abuse community members, past or present. Or entire works will be up dedicated to making light of your childhood trauma! These characters were made by an abuser, and will be used to abuse. That is a simple fact about Floraverse. Except... in that statement, I'm not even talking about Glitchedpuppet, the current author of Floraverse. I'm talking about Marlcabinet, the previous author of Floraverse. This statement does however, apply to both of them. Hey, wait a minute, that's weird! I've been talking about "death of the author" for this entire post, and I just said that reclaiming Floraverse characters can't work because the way the characters were used to abuse real people doesn't exist in a vacuum. So like, why does this work within the Floraverse webcomic itself? Marl is the abuser of Glip, but Marl is also the author of the majority of early Floraverse. Isn't the story itself, as it currently stands, an act of reclaiming characters used to abuse community members, minors, and any detractors? Then who is to say that those who contributed to Floraverse and were similarly abused are not also allowed this same privilege? Their real-world suffering is what fuels the comic. When I was 13-16, I adored a Floraverse character named Cayenne. His whole deal was that he was an autistic child slave and was horribly abused by everyone around him. Weird character to connect to, but he’s the character that made me figure out I had autism! I drew a LOT of fanart of this character and I even own a (gifted) life-size plush of him. The authors only ever treated him as a joke and it was a joke even within the Floraverse community that I was the only person who actually liked/cared about him. Sometimes I think about reclaiming him for myself. But I also don’t want to get harassed, and I know I could design much better things, and write better things. Conversely, I also think about how this is the exact character that made me get into contact with Marl when I was 16. It’s a heavy weight to carry knowing that this exact character was the reason I was almost in the clutches of a child predator. Glip personally deferred me to him. Reclaiming Cayenne would hold emotional value for me as a reminder of my triumph over a predator. Would it be wrong for me to reclaim an abused child character from a comic that abused me and many others as children? I've no clue. And I don't think anyone can answer that. I've waffled on it for ~2 years now. Reclaiming Cayenne would give attention to an individual that profits off abusing others, myself included. I'd say that reclaiming Floraverse characters wouldn't be a case of "death of the author", but the original creator of them was a child predator that's no longer on the internet. Floraverse is already practicing death of an author, and it is a shell of its former self. That being said, it is not a story that only has one author. Its other authors are still active, and these authors include every person that it has abused in its wake. After all, it's a comic that relies on you to know about its dramas with and traumas of real people. Tell me: Does a death of the author matter when its being written about you?

#text #brand new #floraverse #death of the author #abuse #grooming

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chimggukchim · 6 months

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I Might Be In the Minority But...

So after listening to numerous interviews Jungkook himself has given, both in written and video form, up to his WeLive a couple of hours ago, I will choose to not analyze anything related to the lyrical content of the songs on Golden.

I know, especially given certain words and phrases that were part of Standing Next To You, that it might be very easy for jikookers to find links - I've seen them already making the rounds. But in this case, it is really and truly just a coincidence.

Jungkook did not write any of the lyrics.

He stated that the major criterion for him choosing the songs he did was the genre.

In his interview with the Atlantic, he explicitly stated to not read anything into the lyrics and images associated with his album - that it is not meant to be autobiographical. And yes, we can also take this to mean that the overall heteronormativity of it as well should not be a focus either.

Long story short - my dearest jikookers, we don't have to stoop to the level of The Cult where we begin to overanalyze everything, in order to find some way to associate it with jikook. This is something we judge and criticize and laugh at them for. And in my opinion, it actually cheapens and dulls the moments (as with Letter), where we do have just cause to analyze lyrics and such.

I'm not saying that everyone can't have their opinions, we're all free to to that. And this is just mine. And I fully understand, like my title heading says, that I may be in the minority as a jikooker. But, say what.

This is no way sways me from my thoughts on Jimin and Jungkook's relationship, however. I'm still the biggest jikook supporter out there.

So, I'm going to choose to let this one sit out the analyses, and just enjoy Golden for what it is - Jungkook's first solo release that he is proud to have put out because he wanted to challenge himself with the language, the genre and his vocal abilities.

And didn't he succeed with flying colours!

#jikook #kookmin #jungkook #jimin #bts #bangtan boys #bangtan sonyeondan #park jimin #jeon jungkook #mingguk #golden

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simpforchuchu · 6 months

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A HELPFULL GUIDE TO THE RAMPAGE FROM EXILE TRIBE BY CHU-CHU

Hi Guys! I see that there are many new Rampage fans - Ravers - among us and I would like to introduce the members to you. Other than formal group information, some of it will be my own opinions. You can easily find other official informations about the group on the web. Rather, I want to share with you how I see each member, what impression they made on me, and what I liked or found interesting about them. So please keep in mind that these are my opinions. And of course, I'm not a very old fan either. There may be things I don't know or misunderstand. You can share with me what you want to add or correct 💜

-I am also sharing with you some blogs that I know who is posting about Exile Tribe/The Rampage. You can check them out too 💜I will continue to introduce the members when I have time :') I hope you like it :D 💜

@ataryutaro @banqanas @elenilote @fextsubs @rainisawriter @rowdyshogun @thistaleisabloodyone @zhaolusi (Hope I didn't forget anyone :( )

The Rampage

A Japanese dance & vocal boy group formed and managed by LDH JAPAN.

16 members: 3 vocalists and 13 performers.

They made their major debut on January 25, 2017 with the single “Lightning”.

Fandom name: Ravers ( RAmpage loVERS)

Formation: September 12, 2014

Debut: January 25, 2017

Genres: J-pop, hip hop, dance pop

Leaders: Likiya and Zin

16 Members: Likiya, Zin, Riku, Kenta, Rui, Yamasho, Kazuma, Hokuto, Iwasho, Shohei, Itsuki,Kaisei, Makoto, Ryu, Takahide and Takuma

And yes they have a hip-hop sub-unit : Ma55ive the Rampage (Likiya, Kenta,Yamasho, Shohei, Takahide)

I also didn’t know this part;

At the beginning it was unclear how many and which candidates would be chosen for the group's final line-up, the members later described the time as a desperate, harsh and stressful "survival situation". According to Kawamura Kazuma, the three vocalists were especially tense and taking the situation very seriously, thinking that one of them was going to be cut, due to the fact that LDH only had a two-vocalist system for all of their boy groups at that point.

But luckily they were all chosen :’)

However, while they were training for their debut in the public eye, the members later revealed that the group had been struggling behind the scenes and actually went on a hiatus the year after they were formed until their debut. Several members mentioned that they considered quitting during that time as it was mentally and physically difficult.Also Fujiwara Itsuki revealed that the members had also been working as staffs of the company behind the scenes in that time period, for example as tour staff for senior groups, or in Fujiwara's case, as staff of EXPG schools.

June 16 had been chosen as "RAVERS DAY". This specific date was selected because it is the only month out of the year that does not have a member's birthday, and because the number "16" is important to the group :D

During the first five years, all members of the group lived together in a dormitory.There were four rooms, and four members lived in each room, sharing bunk beds. Each room also had a room manager.

-I don't plan to mention TV series, movies, awards, songs, albums or tours. I get most of the information from Exile Tribe Wiki, you can read more there :’)

MEMBERS

1) LIKIYA : Elliot Likiya (エリオット·力矢)

Born: November 28, 1990 (age 32)

Birth Place: Aomori Prefecture, Japan

Height: 170 cm (5 ft 6.9 in)

Zodiac Sign: Sagittarius

Emoji: 👨‍🍳

Leader and performer of THE RAMPAGE and a rapper in MA55IVE THE RAMPAGE.

DAD of the group

He may look serious but he is literally a cinnamon roll

I love Likiya, with his style, personality, sweetness and everything

Someone who is frequently teased by other members

When group members were asked who they would like to date, most of them chose Likiya.

Also, Elly from Sandaime J SOUL BROTHERS is his older brother. That's why he said that he was often compared to him and that he was flustured.

According to Wiki;

He participated in the EXILE PERFORMER BATTLE AUDITION, but did not make it to the finals.

LIKIYA's father is Carlos Elliot, a former professional boxer and LIKIYA started practicing boxing as a hobby.

He loves basketball and cooking. That's why his emoji is a cook. 👨‍🍳

Described as a calm, quiet and very reliable person with a strong sense of leadership. According to his members, he also has a mischievous side and occasionally makes a joke to calm the mood.

In charge of the choreography of THE RAMPAGE.

He is very good at cooking. His skills are so good that he even invented his own curry, "Likiya-man's Indian Spinach Curry" (リキヤ～マンのインド風ほうれん草カレー), which is actually sold in Japan. In 2020's first broadcast of "RMPG DOPE STATION", he talked about his dream of appearing on a cooking show.

His favorite color is white. He collects white clothes and white things, and most of his furniture and accessories are white.

2) ZIN : Sakamoto Zin (坂本陣)

Born: April 28, 1994 (age 29)

Birth Place: Osaka, Osaka Prefecture, Japan

Height: 178 cm (5 ft 10 in)

Zodiac Sign: Taurus

Emoji:🐴

Leader and performer of THE RAMPAGE

MOM of the group

I LOVE HIS SMILE <3 HIS SMILE IS SO PRETTY <3

He is really like a mom even to the older members. He is fun, funny and really so cute. And I really love when he talks :’)

Probably the one who gets bullied the most

He is one of the tall members

According to Wiki;

He participated in the EXILE PERFORMER BATTLE AUDITION, but did not make it to the finals.

Described as a good talker, mood-maker and hard worker. His members appreciate his cheerfulness, responsibility and communication skills.Additionally, he is also described as compassionate, tearful and a bit clumsy. Because of his friendliness, he is often teased even by the younger members.

Usually takes the lead when it comes to interviews and has a natural talent for hosting live performances and events

Didn't like his smile very much for a long time, but after he joined THE RAMPAGE, people started to tell him that he has a nice smile, which changed his view. :’)

Has a cat named "Luky".

Likes the manga Jujutsu Kaisen.

His favorite color is red.

3) RIKU: Aoyama Riku (青山陸)

Born: August 10, 1994 (age 29)

Birth Place: Asaka, Saitama Prefecture, Japan

Height: 174 cm (5 ft 8.5 in)

Zodiac Sign: Leo

Emoji: 🐶

Maybe you think Rampage’s only vocalists are Kazuma and Hokum but no. This handsome man is a vocalist too and he has an amazing voice…

He is really good at teasing and annoying people and a bit savage.

He has that prince vibe and has a really charming visual.

His English is pretty good and wants to speak English to reach international fans <3

IwaSho and him are close friends

He likes going GYM… really…

He loves playing soccer and really good at it

He really loves children and A RIKU WITH KIDS ALL YOU NEED BELIEVE IN ME :’)

According to Wiki;

A very good dancer and known for his ability to dance with the same level of sharpness as a performer while singing stably.

Initially viewed his high-pitched voice as a complex. He is often jokingly imitated and teased by the members for it and he consciously keeps his voice low in magazine interviews.

Taught himself how to play the piano.His first keyboard was gifted to him by SHOKICHI.

Often compared to a golden retriever due to his cheerful, communicative, clumsy and soft nature and muscular physique.

Went to an all-boys high school for six years.

Always keeps a list of restaurants that interest him on his smartphone.

He has a friendly rivarly with KAZUKI and Sato Taiki, who attended EXPG Tokyo at the same time as him.Initially, he felt inferior to KAZUKI, which motivated him to practice harder.

His favorite color is pink.

Used to be the centre of the group, but the position was reappointed to Kawamura Kazuma.

4) KENTA: Kamiya Kenta (神谷健太)

Born: May 27, 1995 (age 28)

Birth Place: Okinawa Prefecture, Japan

Height: 170 cm (5 ft 6.9 in)

Zodiac Sign: Gemini

Emoji: 🐿️

Performer of THE RAMPAGE and a rapper in MA55IVE THE RAMPAGE.

Even though he is a performer and rapper, he has great vocals. And I'm so happy ma55ive used him as vocals <3

He's funny, sweet and entertaining

I think he has a flirty personality

He and Rui are childhood friends and very close friends. (But he'll never admit it)

He has interesting and funny drunk memories...

He has a lot of questionable (in a good way) behavior and always makes me laugh

He's one of the oldest members but he definitely doesn't act like one :D

When he was a kid, he wanted to be a FBI Agent but I think he still does :D

According to Wiki;

He participated in the EXILE PERFORMER BATTLE AUDITION but didn't made to the finals.

In 2013, he was introduced as a member of the trainee group EXILE GENERATIONS.

He has a childhood friendship with fellow group mate Yonamine Rui

Him and Yonamine Rui together are called the "Haisai Duo" or "Haisai Combi". They are from the same hometown and the first students from EXPG Okinawa to join LDH.

Described as a mysterious and quiet person. He says about himself: "I'm not a loner, but I'm a free spirit and have my own pace". However, he also has a playful side characterized by strange moves, peculiar laughter, and eccentric worldview.

Has a curious nature and likes to try new things.

His favorite artists are Michael Jackson and Chris Brown.

In 2017, at the start of the group's first solo tour THE RAMPAGE LIVE TOUR 2017-2018 "GO ON THE RAMPAGE", he launched a video corner called "The Two Who Can't Talk" (しゃべれない2人) together with Fujiwara Itsuki in order to improve their talking skills. :D

According to his members, he is always late in his private life.

His favorite color is black.

#the rampage #the rampage from exile tribe #rampage #the rampage fext #rika aoyama #Kenta kamiya #likiya elliot #zin sakamoto #rampage zin #rampage likiya #rampage kenta #rampage riku #high and low #high&low

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sinswithpleasure · 3 months

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Hi sins your thoughts on lesserafim comeback easy, chaewon looks so hot in blonde 🔥🥵

This is going to be long and probably somewhat inflammatory. Let's get the horny part out of the way—blonde Chaewon is hot, and also quite adorable.

Personally, I feel like with every comeback, the quality is dropping. I don't watch MVs for hot outfits, I watch them for the art that it is. The MV itself is quite artistic and I love it. However, I'm going to go into my thoughts on it + some of the opinions I agree with. It's probably going to get some mad, but like... I trust the lot of you to not make my ask box a Twitter timeline.

I like the song on it's own—if I don't think that it's the title of a comeback, I really like it. I'm a rnb type of guy, so rap beats like these are right there up my alley. The instrumental is really nice.

However, read it carefully: I like it if it's just a single, not the title of a comeback. The problem here is that it's a fucking title, and not the B-side to a great album. As a title, this is just underwhelming when I know the standard is Antfragile.

I haven't given the album a listen yet, and I'm not even sure I want to. I've heard it's been a miss for a lot of writers who actually care about the music, with criticisms about the (over)use of autotune. The mad part is, I'm at a point where I'm happier to listen to NMIXX than LSRFM. This was not the case a year ago—I used to think NMIXX was unlistenable with the absolute sleep paralysis demon that O.O was (I'm aware that it's two different songs. I haven't listened to them yet though, and I'm told they're amazing), and now I listen to Dash and the album that it's part of, as well as Party o'Clock when it comes on. With LSRFM, I wouldn't skip Antifragile and No Return, and (actually i grit my teeth because it wasnt that good but i still can tolerate it occasionally) Unforgiven. It's sad that I'm caring less about em musically and being happier that LSRFM looks like fap fuel. That's really not why I'm here as a fan.

At this point, I might as well be disappointed already every time they announce a LSRFM comeback. As other writers have said, it's feeling a lot like they're a stripper group and not a band anymore—choreo is horny, fits are horny, and the concepts really just horny packaged as music.

Now, on to happier stuff—my thoughts were doom and gloom. Yunjin put out an insane collab with MAX, and I recommend that everyone checks that out. It's a beautiful song.

Thanks for the ask, by the way. I usually don't share my thoughts like that.

#asks #sinswithrants

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akookminsupporter · 1 year

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JIMIN'S (REAL) FACE

Jimin, your son of a bitch. You did it and what a way to go.

For a couple of weeks now in my mind, there have been several opinions forming about Jimin and the direction of his career and why I believe he will achieve many things as a Solo artist. When Set Me Free pt.2 was released those ideas evolved, but the core of them remained the same. Jimin was destined for great things as a Solo artist.

A week ago when I decided to make a post where I would write all those thoughts I didn't think it would be like this one. I thought it would be a post where I would say a thousand things sometimes without saying anything at the end, but after listening to FACE, and after reading the lyrics, I decided to do this differently.

Art is a curious subject. Complicated in how simple it can be. Maybe that's why I've never been good at understanding much about it, but one thing I do like about art is that everyone can give different interpretations to a piece of art, sometimes the interpretation will even be different from the artist who created it.

In the last couple of days, I have read some interpretations of FACE and what it means. Many agree on some opinions and others do not. Today I want to give mine.

Jimin has already explained in several interviews what his album is about. His feelings during the pandemic and after the world opened up again. Based on that I came to personal conclusions from his journey in FACE. Maybe what I say is different from what you think, maybe what I say is different from what Jimin says, but as I said, that's the beauty of art and FACE is art.

I think Jimin said it in one of his interviews, FACE is chronologically ordered. Each song describes a moment of his struggle, of his feelings, of his being, so I will try to explain how I understood the story that Jimin told with his album.

SET ME FREE PT 2.

The first song we heard from the album was Set Me Free Pt.2. A song that I personally believe describes the culmination of Jimin's journey. Jimin told us beforehand that he IS free. That he no longer cares what others think of him. Jimin told us up front that the dark world we would find in FACE is no longer his present but his past. He wanted to assure us from the beginning that he was fine.

In the interview with Rolling Stone, Jimin said it. He has already overcome everything that FACE describes.

"I don't know how people are going to react to the music, but I actually was able to completely resolve and move on from all those feelings of being lost. I'm perfectly okay now."

So yes, Jimin is finally free but I'll talk more about that when I get to that point in the story or when I get to Track 5.

FACE-OFF.

Jimin said that the album represents his feelings during the pandemic and this song perfectly describes how he felt, but it also describes so much more. I made a post yesterday giving my opinion of what I think Face-Off means and I still stand by that opinion, but today I add another layer to it. That song also signifies the battle Jimin had with himself.

The pandemic, 2020 in particular was a time when we had too much time on our hands. Too much time with our thoughts and too much time connected with other people.

I do believe that it was during this time that Jimin really knew the intentions of some people close to him and the realisation of that hurt. You see, I think Jimin is one of those people who doesn't let everyone into his inner circle and when he does it is special. Jimin is a person who likes to give, acts of service are one of his love languages. And when you betray a person like Jimin, it hurts.

But now I also think the song is about himself. The battle against his inner self. The battle against his true self.

All that time we were confined to our homes, it forced many of us to think. To evaluate and re-evaluate who we are, who we were and who we want to be. I think that was the case with Jimin. I think Jimin during that time finally had to face himself. His demons and his true self.

There has always been this "discussion" in the fandom about whether or not Jimin is LGTBI+, for some it's obvious, for others it's not. The problem with this debate is that many read the word LGTBI+ in relation to a man and immediately think of the word Gay, forgetting that a man can also be bisexual. Bisexual erasure is unfortunately very normal in the fandom and in society in general.

Jimin once talked about how he pretended for a long time to be something he wasn't. He pretended to be this strong man. He pretended to be this strong, masculine man that society and the industry expected him to be. That time he also said that he wasn't like that anymore, that he finally was who he was, but I don't think the fight ever stopped. At least not for a long time.

When you confront yourself you go through various states of emotions. Denial, anger, desolation, understanding and finally acceptance. I believe Face-off is at least the first two of these.

Remember the video I shared where someone explained the choreography of Like Crazy? I think Face-Off is the beginning of that, but rawer, angrier, more... lost.

If you notice, all the songs on the album don't have a conclusion or solution, except for the second to last track.

I think in Face-off the inner Jimin finally says everything he feels, finally vents his frustrations and complains to the outer Jimin that he gave him everything but still let him down. And the outer Jimin lets him, lets him get it all out, is finally willing to listen.

INTERLUDE: DIVE

Dive is literally a pause in the story. It's where Jimin took a step back and decided to think. He decided to maybe think about everything that happened in Face-off. It's interesting but not surprising that Jimin here used two of the places where he's perhaps happiest, the stage, talking to his fans and running. Remember all the times he's said he discovered that running was good for him?

LIKE CRAZY (MAIN TRACK)

And we get to the crux of the story.

I think Like Crazy is a conversation with himself. The whole album is a conversation with himself, that's why the use of autotune in some parts of the songs, by distorting the voice doesn't sound like Jimin because it's not, not the outer Jimin at least.

I think to really understand Like Crazy you have to see the video and the choreography as well. It's all connected, it's not a coincidence, Jimin doesn't work like that. It's important to understand that.

Like Crazy is Jimin's acceptance in a way that something has to change and it's at the same time a self-questioning of whether it's worth doing.

Same cliched story, just like on TV/It's getting more familiar/Did I come this far to find the me that you knew? /Yeah I know You know/I know

But despite that I think Jimin still struggles in a way, not to deny his inner self but to keep hiding it until he gets to the end of the song and realises he can't do it anymore.

This will break me/This is gonna break me/No don't you wake me/I wanna stay in this dream, don't save me/Don't you try to save me need a way we/I need a way we can dream on

In the end, all that's left is... understanding and acceptance and all the fears that come with that.

Alone again.../What's the point?

ALONE

The simplest way I could describe this song is catharsis. Alone is a catharsis of feelings. Of doubts. Of questions. Of self-recrimination. It's what comes after accepting the truth. It is the real confrontation with your actions. This song is Jimin saying out loud his fears. It is the acceptance out loud that he was living a lie. That's why I think the word lie was repeated several times because he kept trying to lie to himself, to say that everything was fine but no, it was a lie. He was lying to himself. Alone is a pretty deep song. She does not seek solutions and offers no consolation, on the contrary, she is perhaps the darkest state Jimin reached before finally being free.

SET ME FREE PT.2

Freedom. In Set Me Free Pt.2 Jimin finally gets rid of everything, mainly his fears. Here Jimin finally understood that he has the power and that's why it doesn't matter what anyone says. Jimin finally understood that he can be unstoppably him. As he wants. But Set Me Free Pt.2 is also a juxtaposition of the whole story. In Set Me Free Pt.2 Jimin presents himself as society and the industry thinks he should be, look. Masculine, strong, tough. The music of the song also sells that idea, but the lyrics do not.

I think the lyrics, the choreography and the set design of the MV plus Jimin's outfit are a major fuck you to those standards. It's like Jimin is defying everyone. Challenging everyone's opinions about him. About who he really is.

Set Me Free Pt.2 is Jimin basically saying I can play the game too but in my own way. In this song, Jimin understood that he controls the narrative.

Personally, I think Jimin's real freedom is that he understood that other people's opinions of him don't matter. Jimin's real freedom came when he finally decided to take the power away from his fears and his detractors. I think that's why Jimin demands to be set free because they no longer have anything they can use to keep him locked up.

At the end of the MV we see a Jimin dressed in white. With a soft and determined expression. Soft Jimin we could say. In the end, we saw the other part of Jimin. In the end, he basically said: I can be both.

In the end, Jimin understood that he can be whoever he wants to be and that people can interpret him however they want, he doesn't care anymore.

LETTER (Hidden Track)

This song has the fandom debating. Is it for the fans? For the other members? For Jungkook? What if the song is for all of them?

Letter the sunset after the storm. The lyrics of the song are the reflections you write on paper of everything you experienced after so much darkness. Letter is a warm embrace. A sincere thank you. Letter is literally a promise that now he will take care of you.

But the question that surrounds this song the most is, why Jungkook? And the answer I think is simple. Because it has always been him.

Jimin and Jungkook have a particular relationship. Different. Intimate. I don't know what label it has, but it's special. Jungkook is the person Jimin is always looking for. He's the one he laughs with, the one he has inside jokes with. The one he cries with, the one he gets drunk with, the one he practices with, the one he's happy with. Jimin has always been there for Jungkook and Jungkook has always been there for Jimin so what better person to share that promise with than him? what better person to share his new journey with than Jungkook?

FACE is an amazing album, Jimin not only showed who he is as an artist but also who he is as a person.

Jimin confirmed with this album that he really gets what he wants. That quiet work well done gives great rewards. I will never be able to express how proud and grateful I am to Jimin.

This post ended up being longer than I thought it would be. I don't know if I managed to say everything I wanted to say in it. I don't know if what I said is well said.

If you made it this far, you may have disagreed with me and that's fine, as I said at the beginning, that's the beauty of art. One piece can have multiple interpretations.

#Jimin #face by jimin #rosie's thoughts

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loopy777 · 4 months

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AtLA Book Water Soundtrack Review

You all know how we've wanted this soundtrack for years and suffered through such explanations as 'the original sound files probably don't exist anymore.' Thankfully, Avatar Studios has seen fit to re-record the music of the first season with a full orchestra, as part of what I assume is a media blitz meant to build hype for the live action Netflix remake. But we all know that remakes, even in music, often don't live up to the original. So, how did it turn out?

(Er, the soundtrack, I mean. The Netflix thing hasn't been released yet.)

With a sigh of relief, I can report: It's great!

Thankfully, the sample track didn't turn out to be indicative of the entire album. The composition of everything else is pretty faithful to the original versions, as far as I could tell. In fact, the overall sound is pretty close to my memories of the original music, despite the use of a full orchestra to record this version- with the exception of the drums, which in the HiDef sound files I downloaded sound fantastic and successfully make my floor and walls shake. (I make no guarantees about what you get if you listen to streaming, mp3 files, or the vinyl disks. This is why I pay a premium for FLAC files or CDs.) I loved turning up the volume and getting blasted by the classic Avatar theme in glorious orchestral quality.

Plus, some tracks are vastly improved by these recordings, while also being true to the original. The best example is the Northern Water Tribe entrance music, which I always thought sounded a bit chintzy and repetitive in the original track (but I admit my opinion might be colored by the poor quality of the recordings we have access to). The new version has a much fuller sound and enough variation to justify the length. I suspect this might come down to which of the original tracks used real instruments and which had to rely more on synthesized sound.

I suspect, though, that the vocals on this album are all the originals, and that's why the Koizilla music makes the chorus less prominent; it probably couldn't be mixed together with the new orchestra without sounding bad. In most cases, that's not a problem, but I do mourn that the Kozilla music doesn't sound quite right. But, on the other hand, Mako's singing has never sounded better.

The album has all the music I'd expect of a soundtrack for Book Water. The Fire Nation, Kyoshi Island, and Jet all get good suites that showcase their themes and music, something that just doesn't exist anywhere in the original recordings. The famous stuff -- the opening theme, the Avatar State, the 'into the sunset' peaceful music, the Agni Kai, Aang's antics, the full "Winter, Spring, Summer, & Fall" tune in both full instrumental form and with Mako's singing, and of course the ending credits -- is all here. The season finale is heavily represented, but that's appropriate as those episodes got a lot of new music and all of it is great. And if you've only been able to content yourself with the fan-made soundtracks we've had to piece together over the the years via promotional releases and episode rips, there's some good stuff here that you might never have heard by itself before, like the fun bit of music for June.

And because I'm compelled to nitpick, I'm a bit annoyed by the order of the tracks. I like to listen to soundtracks in chronological order, and while that kind of thing isn't really feasible with something as long and repetitive as a television series season, this album does a serviceable approximation with its order- except for two weird cases. The Blue Spirit introduction comes after the music for his escape with Aang, and the music for the encounter with Koh comes after the music for Aang's arrival in the Spirit World. I assume this is because it makes for a better hi/lo/fast/slow sequence as part of the overall, but I would have preferred the order of their presentation in the cartoon.

So, in conclusion, this is the soundtrack we've wanted all these years, and everyone should stream or buy it or at least pirate it in enough numbers to raise eyebrows. I want the other two books done this way, and I think we as a fandom deserve it, despite some of the fanfic I've seen you people write. ;)

#atla soundtrack #atla #avatar soundtrack #jeremy zuckerman #book 1: water

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whiskyanndboots · 9 months

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SNAP Summary- You’d never seen Dean so angry, especially at you and he was a pretty aggressive guy. Companion piece to Not A Fool & Part 2

Pairing- DeanXReader Warnings- 18+ only, swearing, canon divergence, violence.

A/N- This has been sitting in my drafts for many months and I thought I should just let it be, not edited, sorry.

The hunt, in your opinion, hadn’t gone too badly, or rather as badly as it could have. Both of you were breathing and still in one piece so you couldn’t really say it was a total fail.

You thought back to the morning two days ago when you and Dean had driven out of Harvelle’s farm, the sun was out and Dean was smiling wide in the passenger seat making jokes to try and coax you out of your bad mood. You’d stopped for food as soon as you drove into town, Dean had practically waxed poetic about some Baconater burger he’d discovered on his travels, he’d been right too, you’d have dreams about that burger. Then it was straight to business to get the low-down on the deaths from the local cops, the case was a slightly confusing one, the timelines were off somehow, but neither you or Dean could put your finger on it.

You wondered now if Sam had been here instead of you if the surprise ambush would have been avoided.

Dean had kept good on his promise to let you take the reins and up until the point where you were being strangled by one of three serial killing spirits in an abandoned run down house in the woods, it had actually been fun.

It had been a nice reprieve from how things had been before you went to Harvelle’s. Dean had been different, more closed off from you then he had ever been, and you couldn’t for the life of you figure out why.

You and Dean had fallen into friendship quite easily, well after the initial drunken come-on and subsequent rejection on your part. Dean had even taken you out to buy cassette tapes, on one of their visits to Bobby’s, when you told him you were thinking of putting something more modern than a tape player in the Chevelle. He’d been passionately against you screwing ‘her’ up and even more offended when you told him you’d never listened to any Motorhead or Black Sabbath. So off you both went into Sioux Falls to a small old school cassette store where he picked out a bunch of Dean Winchester approved albums while explaining why you needed them, no Led Zeppelin though since the store was out much to Dean’s dismay.

As Sam and Dean were packing up to leave the next day Dean had walked over to you a little sheepishly and handed you a cassette of his favourite Zeppelin album with orders not to break it or there’d be dire consequences. Sam had looked slightly bewildered so you figured this was not a common gesture from Dean.

After that day you realised you may have judged him a little too quickly, yeah Dean was definitely a womanising, whisky loving, charming goofball with a whole lotta baggage, but above all that he was undeniably a very good man.

You had since genuinely looked forward to the sound of the Impala rolling into Singer’s Salvage Yard knowing that you’d get to hang out with Sam and Dean for atleast a night, well if Bobby didn’t banish you on the grounds of ‘serious shit’ they had shown up for. You didn’t mind about that at all since you weren’t interested in getting involved in any demon or angel business at the time.

Alot of good that did now that Lilith was on your ass.

When Dean found out Lilith wanted you he decided to start treating you as if you didn’t have a competent bone in your body. He was harsher with you and you weren’t really in the mood for his bullshit considering you were still having a hard enough time accepting that you couldn’t just tap out when it got too scary now.

So you had enjoyed the shift back to the old Dean for the last 48 hours.

You glanced over at Dean who was driving your car, you didn’t think it wise to argue with how tightly clenched his jaw was, it was a stark contrast to the easy smile you’d seen from him as he sat shotgun on the way here. Dean hadn’t spoken to you since he half carried you out of the burning house. You pulled away the jacket you were pushing against the gash on your shoulder, blood had seeped through the fabric of your long sleeved shirt starting up near your shoulder and ending near your elbow, you could just see the nasty cut through the rip. You didn’t even know what slashed you, once you entered the rundown house in search of bones to burn, in the basement according to a bunch a traumatised teenagers, Dean didn’t even have time to fully open the door to said basement before the ambush began.

You traced your fingers over your throat , it was already tender to touch. The feeling of being strangled was fresh in your mind, the tightening of whatever the spirit had wrapped around your neck from behind pulling hard and lifting you off the ground, gasping for air and desperately trying to get your fingers underneath it to loosen it’s hold. You don’t think you’d ever been so scared in your life, that was the first time you actually thought your number was up.

Movement caught your eye and you turned your head to look at Dean, his eyes were trained on the fingers on your throat, you dropped your hand into your lap and his eyes flicked up to meet yours. You took a deep inhale at the anger in them, you’d never seen Dean so angry, especially at you and he was a pretty aggressive guy. He quickly looked back to the road, but you saw his hand tighten around the steering wheel until his knuckles were white.

You were at a loss for any reason he was so mad at you, you did everything right, yeah you set the entire basement on fire in a panic, but it worked. Your own anger was starting to build inside your chest, you knew what was waiting for you back at the hotel room, you’d be getting a lecture about how this is the reason you shouldn’t be hunting alone. Honestly you will be the first to admit you didn’t want to hunt, you were perfectly happy safe and sound at Singer Salvage answering phones while Bobby was out on hunts and researching lore from Bobby’s infinite shelves of books.

Finally Dean swerved into the motel parking lot pulling the car into a space infront of the room he made you share with him, despite your protest about wanting a double bed. Dean turned off the car with a heavy sigh. He licked his lips like he was gearing up to say something, he moved to face you eyes flicking between your wounds, his face closed off again suddenly and he was out of the car before you could speak.

You followed him silently to the door as he roughly unlocked it and pushed it open, you closed the door behind you awkwardly standing with your back to it still pressing your jacket to your arm.

“How bad is it?” Dean asked flatly as he sat on his bed.

“It’ll need stitches” you replied, your voice hoarse.

“Shower” Dean gestured to the bathroom door as he ran a hand over his face looking anywhere but at you. You didn’t answer as you grabbed your duffel bag and slammed the door behind you.

You balked at your own reflection in the mirror, you’d been through it alright, you looked like hell. You leaned toward the mirror to inspect the bruise that was already a dark purple around your throat and winced. You let out a long sigh and got to work on getting your shirt off, some of the blood had dried so not a pleasant experience.

The cut looked pretty gnarly, it ran from the top of your shoulder stopping about half way down your bicep. After your shower you went through your bag finding the only black tank top you’d packed and a pair of grey sweatpants, you blowdried your hair grateful the smoke smell hadn’t hung around, you tried to focus on the task at hand rather than letting yourself get worked up at the conversation awaiting you behind that door.

You finally had to force yourself to leave the bathroom, Dean was sitting at the small table in the room, he was holding a bottle of whiskey that you knew was much fuller this morning. Dean kicked a chair infront of him forward gesturing for you to sit. “This is gonna hurt like a bitch” Dean said as you sat down.

“I figured” You replied taking the bottle of whiskey from him and taking a swig, your face screwed up at the burn in your throat, but you took another for good measure.

He took the bottle back of you and placed the opening at the top of your gash, you jerked away as the liquid ran down your arm, holy shit it burned.

“Gotta stay still” Dean murmured as he picked up the needle and thread

You quickly pulled your hair aside staring straight ahead trying to make your body relax as Dean used his hand to move your left arm where he needed. You felt the cold tip of the needle press against your skin and braced yourself. Dean hesitated for a moment before breathing deep and pushing it in.

“If you need to stop tell me” This was the least monotone he'd sounded all night.

“Just get it done” You closed your eyes and tried to breathe deep, you’d sit through this in one go from sheer pride at this point.

“How’s the face?” You asked, he’d gotten a nasty hit to the jaw and a bruise was starting to darken across his cheek.

“Fine” Dean answered bluntly.

You breathed out a deep sigh, no conversation then.

The silence was making you nervous, the suspense of waiting for him to say something, anything was getting too much. You dreaded the argument the whole car ride, but now that you were getting the silent treatment you were ready to hash it out

“Done” Dean said throwing the needle on the table. You felt your body relax in relief, it was still throbbing like hell.

You turned your head, the bruise on his face was not fine it was spreading further by the minute, His expression was tense and his movements sharp. He pushed himself out of his chair and walked towards the small kitchenette grabbing his wallet.

“Dean" you stood to walk towards him, resigned to get him out of this shitty mood.

“Hungry?” He answered gruffly.

“Dean” You said again more forcefully.

“I’m goin’ to get pizza” he darted past you for the door.

“You gonna give me an ‘i told you so’ or not?” You ran a hand through your hair, you were getting bored of this already.

“What’s the point of that, huh?” He whipped around so quick you stepped back even though he was five feet away from you, you weren’t expecting him to raise his voice so suddenly. He’d spent the last hour quietly seething, now he was boiling over.

“Well, you obviously have something on your mind, Dean” you dragged your voice out provokingly.

“Damn right I do, everyone’s lost their frickin’ minds sending you out here alone, especially you! You just want me to sit on my ass at Ellen's until I have to come find whatever's left of you in some Podunk back road town?” He crossed the room towards you, his face dark, you could understand why people and monsters feared Dean Winchester, but you’d be damned if you backed down now.

You leaned back against the kitchen counter arms crossed tightly infront of you. Your arm was throbbing harder from the movement and Dean’s asshole mood was really pushing you to the edge of your patience.

“What the fuck is your problem?” harshly left your mouth before you could stop it.

“You know what my damn problem is, if you were on this hunt alone-“

“No” you interrupted loudly “not just today, I mean in general”

Dean gave you an incredulous look that finally set you off.

“Are you really gonna stand there and pretend like nothings going on? I’m not stupid Dean” You tightened the grip on your crossed arms trying very had not to raise your voice.

“(Y/N) i’m- ” Dean rubbed his fingers across his eyes.

“Because you’ve been pretty damn distant lately and call me crazy I thought we were friends” you pushed yourself off the counter closer to Dean.

“We are, that’s why i know you can’t handle this”

“What do you expect me to do, just stand there and scream? ‘cause it sounds like that's exactly what you’re asking me to do!” You were yelling now.

“I'm asking you to stay out of it, lay low and let us deal with it, this isn’t your fight” Dean was yelling back at you, you'd never admit out loud the shivers that went down your spine at the deep timbre of his voice.

“It is my fight, Lilith made sure of that”

“Well if your best is anything like tonight you’re going to get yourself killed!“ He roared.

“Do you think i want this? I wanted to go home, do you know how scared I am?” Your voice broke but, you were too angry to be embarrassed about it “I’m very aware that when she comes for me there’s no stopping her, but i’m atleast gonna go down fighting"

“What do you mean there’s no stopping her?” Dean snapped back stepping closer, his face incredulous and strained.

“It’s Lilith, no one can!” Your voice sounded half hysterical, Dean of all people should know this.

“Just do what i say and she wont get anywhere near you, stop making this so fucking difficult!” Dean’s was was getting more rage filled by the second.

“Oh, so your gonna protect me from Lilith, are you?” You replied raising your eyebrow. Dean’s jaw clenched, he was so close to you now you could feel his breath on your face “how exactly is that gonna play out? because from what i’ve seen every attempt to stop her hasn't worked” You yelled the last part so loud you were surprised at yourself.

“If Lilith wants you she’s gonna have to go through me and she ain’t gettin’ through me” Dean’s bellowing, deep voice echoed across the room. The resolute way he spoke sent shivers down your spine, his expression was wrathful. The full weight of those words hit you so hard you took a deep breath in surprise, it hadn’t occurred to you that Dean was willing to put himself in between you and the most powerful Demon they knew.

“I-“ You opened your mouth to respond, but a strangled, embarrassing, noise left it instead, you couldn’t think of a response with Dean’s determined gaze staring you down. You could feel the heat of his skin on your own, suddenly you felt much too close to Dean and needed to get space between you.

You didn't have time to put the thought into action before Dean shot forward pressing his mouth hard onto yours, his hands grabbing your arms. It only lasted a moment before he was pulling back and letting you go, he looked as surprised as you must of, only you felt yourself following his mouth, heat burning red across your face when you realised what you were doing.

You stopped yourself from following through, startled at your own reaction, but didn’t move back. Dean’s eyes bounced from your lips to your eyes and back again before he once again moved to fill the space between you, mouth pressing over yours.

There was nothing, slow or sweet about it, your lips moved against each other harshly, needy and wet. His hands were on your waist then sliding up your back pulling you closer until you were pressed together, you still felt like you couldn’t get close enough.

Dean pushed you backwards until your back hit the kitchen counter, his mouth left yours pressing opened mouth kisses along your neck, it was all too much, your arm was throbbing with pain, your chest was heaving and small breathy moans and whimpers were leaving your throat as his hands slid underneath your shirt.

You were pulling at his flannel wanting him closer while your other hand ran through his hair, suddenly you were moving upwards as Dean placed you down on the counter, he stared at you for a moment, green eyes wide and full of want before smashing his lips back onto yours, his hands were back caressing a path up your spine while you held his jaw in both of yours.

Your shirt was being roughly pulled off, your arms suddenly over your head as his gaze took in the sight of your breasts, you hadn’t even bothered with a bra after your shower. He swiped his thumb over your hardened nipple making your body jump at the spark that traveled down to your core, his eyes flicked up to yours dark and needy as he kissed you again, softer than before. He moved his lips back to your neck as his one of his hands cupped your breast, he was driving you crazy. You pushed his flannel off his shoulders and yanked at his black t-shirt until he lifted it over his head.

A noise pierced through your clouded head, a phone was ringing. You turned your head to look to the side until you saw your phone lighting up on the kitchen table, before you could put together a cohesive thought Dean’s hand grabbed your chin and pulled your face back to him, tongue diving into your mouth.

His arm circled around your back and lifted you off the counter until you were pressed tightly to his chest, his skin against yours made you gasp as he let out a deep moan into your mouth, your legs tightened around him holding on. Your head was foggy, you don't think you’ve ever wanted anyone more than you wanted Dean right now.

He ducked his head down flattening his tongue across your nipple, you threw your head back and buried your fingers in his hair as he started sucking, too much, too much but still not enough. You’d never been kissed like this, never been touched like this before. He was so strong and broad, his arms full of muscle, he made you feel safe and warm.

“Dean” your voice sounded hoarse and breathless.

He dropped you down to the counter still pulling you close and making sure your skin was touching everywhere.

“Never thought you'd let me do this” He breathed between wet kisses “Never thought you’d want to”

“I do” You gasped desperately reaching for his belt, he let our a noise almost like a growl and grabbed at your sweatpants and underwear pulling both of them down your thighs at once, you were aching for him, you couldn't wait anymore.

Suddenly he was gone.

Dean had moved back and slammed his hand on the counter beside you before stalking across the room to a bedside table, to his phone.

That’s right your phone had been ringing, now Dean’s was.

“Ellen” Dean answered his voice annoyed.

Ofcourse, you hadn't told anyone you were both fine. A long deep breath filled your chest as you slid of the kitchen counter, knees almost buckling. You pulled your sweatpants back up, Dean was watching you closely still talking to Ellen chest bare and belt undone, you swallowed hard wishing he'd hurry up.

You were kicking yourself for not calling Ellen when you got back, she'd be worried sick by now, Bobby and Sam would be convincing themselves it wasn't silly to drive out here, Jo would be climbing the walls just like you would be if she was out here.

Cold, hard dread washed over your body like ice.

Jo.

You had promised Jo nothing was going on with you and Dean, that you didn't see him like that, you had promised it wouldn't be a problem and she had told you it didn't really matter, but you knew it did.

You told her to go for it and she'd shoved you away cheeks going uncharacteristically red and told you Dean didn't see her like that.

You told her he'd be crazy not to and she'd looked hopeful. She'd said "Sometimes I think he might, but there's always something in the way.

"Just....long day" Dean was saying to Ellen.

Dean was watching you, eyes roaming over your naked chest, swollen lips and surely messy hair. You covered your breasts with your arms feeling very vulnerable all of a sudden.

Dean was going to come back over here when he hung up that phone and you knew if he touched you again you weren't going to be able to stop this deep aching from taking over.

You saw the phone fall from Dean's ear almost in slow motion, already stepping back towards you looking purposeful, like he knew exactly what he wanted.

You darted for the bathroom door slamming it closed behind you and almost falling over in your haste, you couldn't do this. Not to Jo, not after you told her you didn't see Dean like that, told her to 'go for it'.

She trusted you.

"(Y/N)" Dean knocked on the door.

"I... I just need a minute" You called back panicked.

"Are you.. you okay?" Dean sounded worried.

"I'm fine" You moved to look at yourself in the mirror.

You looked ravished, your cheeks warmed with colour at the sight of your swollen lips and flushed skin, you covered your breasts ashamed with yourself.

You sat down on the toilet, head in your hands taking deep breaths, How did this happen?

You never thought Dean would want you like this, you couldn't say you hadn't entertained the thought. When you'd met Sam and Dean you'd had plenty, but after Dean had come onto you after one too many beers at Bobby's you'd rejected him and his invitation to be a notch on his bedpost.

If anything you'd thought your only chance with a Winchester was Sam, you got along wonderfully, but even that was a stretch, you never thought you were Sam's type let alone Dean's.

Men like Dean Winchester didn't want girls like you, they ended up with strong women like Jo. You were the girl who stayed on the side lines and did research, you weren't brave, you were terrified half the time.

Your not sure how long you sat there contemplating your betrayal until the sound of the hotel door closing brought you back to reality. You listened for movement for a brief moment before slowly opening the bathroom door. The hotel room was empty, Dean was gone.

You picked up your tank top from the ground, pulling it over your head as you walked to the window, pushing the curtain aside. The Impala was still parked there, no sign of Dean.

You weren't really sure what your next move was here.

It was surely going to be awkward conversations and half hearted embarrassed smiles from now on. Maybe Dean wouldn't even bring it up again, maybe once his head had cleared he'd realised this was a mistake too.

Maybe you wouldn't even have to talk about it at all.

You turned the TV on to distract your wandering mind, it had been probably half an hour before you heard keys in the door. Your body tensed and your heart started racing, but you remained sitting casually on the chair.

Dean walked into the room holding a pizza and a six pack, he stood there awkwardly for a moment like he was unsure if he should come in.

"Great, i'm starving" You smiled up at him willing yourself to be normal.

Dean seemed to relax a bit and moved to join you.

"Hope you feel like plain ol' pepperoni" He said while opening the box and grabbing a piece before thudding back into his chair and cracking a beer.

"What did Ellen want?" You asked while picking up a piece of your own.

"She was just checking in, got worried" Dean answered, the pizza seemed too thick to swallow.

You ate in silence for a while, pretending like everything was fine, just like you wanted. Naturally Dean didn't let things lie.

"Listen (Y/N)" Dean spoke with a sudden confidence as the credits for whatever sitcom was on started rolling on tv.

"Dean, can we not?" You pleaded turning to look at him imploringly.

"I don't really want to do this either, but I think we should clear the air" He answered.

"It's fine Dean" You replied lifting the side of your mouth in a small, reassuring smile.

"You locked yourself in the bathroom" He replied taking a sip of his beer not making eye contact.

"I just, I just didn't want to do something while things were....heated that we'd regret later" You couldn't even look at him while you said it.

"Regret" Dean mumbled looking down at the floor.

You were so bad at this.

"Dean, you're my friend, I hope you are anyway" You frowned, Dean looked up over at you surprised.

"Ofcourse I am" He looked half pained.

"Can we just pretend this didn't happen?" You begged.

He was quiet for too long, staring at you with that wounded look you hated.

"Sure" He took a long swig for his beer before wiping his mouth and standing.

"Going to grab a shower and hit the hay, long day tomorrow" He continued while grabbing his duffle-bag and closing the bathroom door behind him.

That had to be done, it was only ever going to be sex with Dean, you wouldn't risk your friendship with Jo for one night with Dean Winchester.

Being the one on the otherside of a locked bathroom door was oddly lonely.

#dean x female!reader #dean x you #spn reader insert #spn imagine #dean winchester #supernatural #Dean Winchesterxreader

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