#im tired of having this in my drafts this is as good as it's getting i want it out. | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

beatcroc · 1 year

Text

excessively long and complex read on pillar john, and the larger john collective

there are a lot of things in pizza tower that, to one extent or another, Are John. some, like the pillar johns, have known and stated canon; but there's a myriad of other things, from mini-johns to the tower itself, that could also be argued as Being John. this post aims to reconcile all of those things as different facets of the whole being that is "John".

now right out of the gate i want to be real. i want to level with you for where im coming from with all this. i do think john is akin to some kind of god. i don't mean this in a super literal sense, but this dude is absolutely [conditionally] immortal to me. he's been around for a very very very long time, and will likely continue to exist almost indefinitely. barring specific circumstances.

i don't have an exact image for the first type of john, so i'm using this scrapped type of block from betas bc it illustrates the concept well enough

this is what i'll henceforth be referring to as "john tower"

this is john in his purest essence; the tower itself, and/or a power or a presence or just a vibe contained in and by the tower's walls and bricks. john tower is 'where' it could be said john's true consciousness and memories lie, but by itself it isn't really "alive" and doesn't have a will its own.

i'm not taking the brick itself Too seriously/literally since it's from beta, but i think it works for the general idea of "John is, and is within, the tower at its most fundamental level; and left to its own the tower will just sorta start making John-type things." Such as the following:

this one i will be calling "real john" this john is the physical, living manifestation of john tower, and what i would properly consider to be "John, Brother Of Gerome". he's a sapient guy with a personality and will and all the stuff that usually comes with being alive. this john is probably the most important type, and under normal circumstances there's only ever one of them at once.

these are just "dead johns". yknow because of the.

yeah. past incarnations of real john that died or got killed, or perhaps just wore out after awhile. real john dying isn't a particularly huge issue because, again, the tower just sorta Makes these things. and boy have there been a lot. they never seem to look quite the same between bodies, but they're all the same john with the same memories nonetheless, and so long as the tower stands, there will be more johns.

these are the pillar johns. this is known. these, as far as i know, are canonically clones of a cursed state of real john, and are mentally all the same guy by way of a hivemind. no speculation to be done here!

this "original john" is also stated canon the current real john, under a curse from pizzahead. physically the same being as real john, so the tower isn't just going to make a new one because this one's not technically Dead. i like to think john is closer to just being another brick of the tower like this, in something of a suspended state between being john tower and real john. still alive and sapient like real john, but much more connected to and in tune with the general sense of Energies of john tower. Has direct control over bits of it, which is primarily expressed as:

mini-johns! as real john is to john tower, so mini-johns are to pillar johns. there is no way to make this less confusing. mini-johns are essentially just random ass bricks and blocks of the tower that pillar john went 'ok little fucker you're gonna be alive now'. they're not part of either the pillar john hivemind OR the john tower collective and operate on their own agenda, which is i suppose is why they attack you, despite john generally seeming to be on your side about what you're doing to the tower. the little guys are a little more removed from their host, and aren't too thrilled about you tearing everything down. or maybe john is just pissed about getting killed over and over since there's no doubt that shit hurted. the john ghost certainly doesn't seem too happy about it either but honestly he's allowed to be a little vengeful in my book.

an aside note but there's also definitely some weird connection between them and [pillar] John Being Dead since they only ever appear during escape, except for in the graveyard-themed level [scrapyard] where everything is already dead... though interestingly not the JOHN graveyard level [john gutter] until pizza time? whatever. i don't have much of a sensible framing for this aside from it just being a general thematic thing and the mini-john section is too long already so i am moving on.

this john i frankly have no fucking clue about and am generally leaning more toward the idea that it's maybe not a literal thing that exists. more just a visual representation of one thing or another?

since it dies when you kill the final/original pillar john my initial read on it was that it's just sorta like an alternate view of original john so you could get a good look at the whole thing not restricted to the space in the 2d plane the player is on, but, crucially, it is missing real/original john's hat, which feels like too central a detail to leave out.

my alternate read on it is that it's a representation of the... overall state of the tower. emotionally, or perhaps structurally, which really might mean thing when you are talking about an arcane structure that is an undetermined amount of alive. either way, it's clear john, the tower, its energies, anything relating to such have been under duress and steadily, irreversibly decaying for....however long it's been since pizzahead took over. bit of a dour note to end on i suppose but that's just the way the tower crumbles man.

you may ask me what all this means for gerome. and i would answer, hell if i know?!? they're said to be brothers and clearly the same Kind of guy, but they don't seem to be cut from the same cloth, as it were. gerome doesn't seem to have Powers:tm: like john does, or pizzahead certainly would have been using him for shit as well, and there's also not a million versions of him lying around to land him in that weird pseudo-immortal space like john.

my best guess is he's something more intrinsically connected to the treasures, and something of a life support system or failsafe for the tower. i'm not sure how to Coherently articulate my thoughts here, but it's something like...little guy fundamental to but also entirely separate from the tower, made to help with its general upkeep [janitor stuff] and also to protect itself in dire straits [treasures]. not in any way attached to the john collective so that if something goes wrong there, at least gerome's small part of the tower's vibe remains untarnished. something about shaping and fragmenting the tower's energies into and across each of the levels by routing and/or stabilizing it through cloned johns; by proxy still this taps in to the gerome part of the tower's energies which manifests as its own separate door/room within that space that can't be altered by any other force re: the background in the treasure rooms always just being normal purple tower brick. treasures being condensed physical standalone bits of the tower's energy, enough of whatever's been channeled into that area to keep john going when given back to him should something disconnect/destroy the energies of the rest of that area. something like that.

honestly, i still have a bit of a hangup in saying gerome is of the same tower origin as john simply because he's not same shade of purple as all the other john tower stuff, but that's really kind of nitpicking at that point, so. hwatever.

ANYWAY all that said and done the most important thing you should take away from this post is that at one point gerome might have had a brother that looked like this

#pizza tower #pillar john #john pillar #im gonna be the worlds foremost pillar bros care-abouter watch me.#pizzaposting #<-tag for my pt rambles btw. most havent been in the tag but we'll see what else i get up to #look i tried very hard to have the gerome part make any sense but it was just not coming to me #im tired of having this in my drafts this is as good as it's getting i want it out.

118 notes · View notes

todayisafridaynight · 8 months

Text

daigo-gets-trolled kinda fuckin panel

#snap sketches #sorry ignore me #im looking at all the comics i drafted this month and deciding which ones i wanna finish and which ones get sent to hell #and this panel of daigo still makes me chortle.. maybe ill finish this one idk #i just dnt wanna color it uuUUGHGGHGH WHY DO I COLOR THINGS NOW #whyyy doi draw so much thisshit lame as hell #ok im gonna go look at em again and decide which one to work on during stream tomorrow #cause lbr im not finishing any of em on stream LMAOOOO #i was gonna stream tonight but. is anyone even awake.#i mean yeah LOL but i feel low energy #so im gonna be more boring than usual #plus my only plans are to finish sketching some stuff for a comic ill Probably work on tomorrow #so itd be a real short stream since i only have like one or two things left to sketch #anyway. good night ill see Some of yall tomorrow :]#OH YEAH NO NIGORI FOR ME the liquor store closed half an hour early... and after my phone died and i got lost for a hot minute #so mean so cruel :( at least i got a cute kuromi pen from the ebisu store :) which i forgot i lived by until i saw it on my map :)#IM SO MAD THO I WAS SO TIRED I DIDNT REALIZE I HAD MONEY FR A KIRBY GACHA CAPSULE :(((((( maybe next month...#ok im rambling now BYE

20 notes · View notes

izzy-b-hands · 6 months

Text

today should be a t break day

bc I'll need it to be more effective in the coming days if we see family, and then I'll have the survey shifts

but since late last night i keep randomly nearly breaking into tears and thinking abt the stupidest shit that needs to stay in the box in my brain

so idk. maybe it will be. it is thus far. but I'm not leaving my room without a container of some edible or another in my pocket either

#text post #no idea where the fuck this came from and it kept me up until fucking four in the fucking morning #but only NEARLY crying my body/brain still won't let me FULLY cry #and i did email my prior doc with a 'can i ask u just abt this one current symptom and if it is abt what i think & ill send u 20 bucks even'#she said no to the twenty bucks but said yeah it does sound like my ptsd has been triggered by multiple things over the last year #and the not being able to cry is a part of it. my body's trying to protect me from feeling anything abt it and breaking down #and part of that means not letting the tears fall so there's no physical acknowledgement of any feelings #which is what i was thinking was going on but it's nice to confirm it with someone who knows their shit #doesn't fix it but at least i know.#the thing is that the triggers are like. good? bc im in a healthier safer environment now with ppl that don't do what my mum & fam do to me #but it means my brain is learning just how much of a lot of it Wasn't Normal and was actually Pretty Harmful and that's.#i want my brain to just accept and get over that already tbh. okay so that's the case it doesn't change anything????#why are we still thinking abt it and having feelings over it at this point bc that feels like a waste of time #there are no apologies I'll get for things that happened from when i was younger and there's no closure it just Is What It Is #I'm tired of even wanting to cry over it when I'd rather be throwing myself into making money & being productive art-wise #it manages to interrupt so many fucking facets of my life like #whatever. anyway considering a music au new draft where ed and izzy meet seth. and immediately offer to kill him for Pickles aksnsjfnfgj

8 notes · View notes

dallonwrites · 9 months

Text

lately my only goal w my writing sessions is just to do whatever i need to feel good and set myself up for success w the next writing session and it feels kind of like basic advice but i seriously never gave specific focus to that and it's kinda life changing lol

#like i'll have specific goals like finish this story draft or write this many words finish this scene/chapter etc #but if i dont feel like i can make that happen i try not to see it as a failure and just reroute it into #okay what do i need to do to make sure i get closer to that tomorrow #or will make it easiest for me to get back into it tomorrow/what will set me up for success tomorrow #actually v clearly focusing on THAT instead of focusing on what i DIDNT do right now makes the whole #thing feel easier overall AND makes me feel like i can actually continue to get closer to Finishing The Thing #and i make it very tangible like how much do i need to write that also accommodates my abilities today. or do i just need to write a quick #outline or just the first line etc #i dont think im gonna finish this micro first draft tonight so i thought what can i do that will help ensure i (hopefully) can tomorrow #and it was just write all the lines that are in my brain out on the page. like no matter what i can do that n i probably can do more #like i have specific goals and self imposed deadlines so im trying to get things done by certain times but giving myself grace with it so i #dont burn myself out in the process #also trying to plan in advance so i never Have to do something By The Next Day that i dont think i can do #this is what helped me finish my dissertation LOL #i realised it was far more beneficial to not force myself over my limits for that day but set myself up for success the next day #i would be like “i need to do this but i know it will be easier to do it with a refreshed mind tomorrow”#and i kept thinking “getting a good nights sleep will help me more tomorrow than forcing myself to write/edit more”#“so i have less to do tomorrow”. like okay maybe id have less to do but id also have less brain power bc i overexerted myself!#which then turned into okay what else can i do to ensure success tomorrow etc #like im tired tonight! my brain isnt working! but i know i can do things that will make me more motivated to write tomorrow #and that in itself is a success. no failure in writing as long as you are taking care of and helping yourself #instead of isolating every writing session into a single Okay How Much Can I Do Today #but acknowledging how a string of writing sessions work together. some have more production some dont #and working with that

4 notes · View notes

kellystar321 · 1 year

Text

#periodical life updates #HUH. OKAY. MANY THINGS OF NOTE. things im not excited for first!!#im going to go into coding now because my parents want me to so whatever i guess!! i think coding is cool anyway and im willing to learn #its such a vague job. my sister recommends front end web development. i still dont know. i guess i'll look into it. gwuah.#registered for classes and now im just waiting for them to start. i dont know if i can do four classes. ive tried and failed before.#but im grown now. classes should be simple. i should be fine. i have to finish this soon.#im going to the dentists soon and as much as i hate toothaches i HATE THE DENTISTS i hate them im so scared of them u-u <33 #i probably need a lot of fillings and sht and im not hype about it. i hate the dentists but i know my teeth will hurt bad so i will go ughh #im tired and i need to cook spaghetti soon and life is currently so up in the air right now. i have things i want to queue but everytime i #go look at my drafts i just close the tab again guhhh. okay lets talk about other things now.#changed my profile pic!! its so cute i love my orange pattern shirt <3 daily eca is posted and that ones cute too <3 #im excited for the pjsk pop in my heart event; ive been waiting for a four star emu for so long and nicori smile survey is a fun song <3 #the valentines day one has such a cute emu too and the white day event has a knight tsukasa which i ADORE <3 knights are so my aesthetic #got to say good morning to darling and eros today <33 might make an oc for a friend on twitter's oc storyline which is fun <3 #finished some things up yesterday that i dont have to deal with anymore.#im trying. im trying really hard. we'll get there eventually. *sighs*#napping now maybe. i love you <3

7 notes · View notes

albatris · 2 years

Text

well fuck I almost had a rental car update for you tonight, a fun continuation of that excerpt from nat's opening chapter that I posted last time, but then tumblr glitched out before I could save all my typing and I can't be bothered doing it again tonight because I'm exhausted and that sucks because I want attention <3 lol <3

#yeah anyway LMAO #i was all ready to dip my toes back into doing updates since i'm over my post-camp-nano burnout but. nope <3 #youre not getting words tonight #and no i don't just post excerpts for validation but i am sustained by nice tags on my stuff and they fuel me for weeks #n i wanted a lil kick of good vibes lol #am a tired tired tired boy this week eagh #i need energy and i will take what I can get (nice words) (even a thumbs up) (a little smiley face) (i'm going to bed)#anyway this post is joking but im actually devo that i lost my drafted post #not that i can't just retype it but y'knowwwwwww. uhggghghgh #now i have to do it overrrrrrrrr #and i was about to post itttttttt

13 notes · View notes

exopelagic · 9 days

Text

liveblogging my descent into madness

#okay okay okay okay okay okay okay #my supervisor set a new deadline for Now. tonight #bc he wants to meet tomorrow 2 with more draft to talk about #rn im on 4 full pages and trying to figure out what the hell my analysis would practically look like step by step #which is hard when im not that good at stats and this is actually one of the things he should be helping me with #and he evaded questions when I did ask him abt #but! getting annoyed doesn’t help me now #I am putting together bullet point steps to help me get my head round it bc it’s midnight and I’m having trouble like #keeping how exactly the methods work straight in my head #generalised linear mixed models! woo!! I don’t know whether they substitute for finding an association between two factors first or are like #subsequent step to that. more refined. gives amount of variance in x due to y that can be explained by z factor #if I had more time I’d be able to figure this out and I will want to ask about this so maybe that’s worth leaving for now as long as I know #roughly what outputs I’m expecting and what things I’ll need to separate for each hypothesis #ohhhhhhh wait I’m describing summary statistics. Im saying I’ll do summary statistics for each factor first before I do a glmm #eg for spatial effect I need to see the correlation between distance and occupancy in individual sites #and whether there’s a difference in the average distance between my two groups #wait so that’s not a correlation it’s comparing two categories and seeing whether their distributions differ which. anova? non parametric?#dude i have no idea at this point I think this is smth I have to ask about #okay. so I haven’t touched my extension section and I want to have something there that he can give feedback on #so for each of my objectives I’ll detail an experiment I couldn’t do that would advance the objective somehow #in the first two that’ll be quantification #or do I do that? what did he say last week #okay im going now I got shit to do #deeply sorry to anyone who is still reading these science is hard and I’m TIRED #luke.txt

1 note · View note

ssluggishh · 3 months

Text

english 101. the self esteem killer

#I HATEEE THIS CLASS sorry. im so tired of writing WHY did i choose the 8wk course #i was so determined to do well in this class and then i turned in my first essay and my outlook did a complete 180 #i got full points on that essay. why do i still feel like shit about it.#literally my mental health has declined so fucking much after that essay and i DONT KNOW WHY since i did good on it #ive been turning in less and less assignments these past few weeks as a result bc i cant get myself to do anything #i think i turned in like. one thing last week. out of seven assignments #and theres no late grades in this class so i cant make up those points #i have my third essay draft due tonight and i havent even started it #i just cant get myself to do anything bc for some reason i think it wont be good neough. even tho it was the first time. what the hell #anyway i hate humanities classes i wish i was drowning in equations and chemical formulas rn and im actually rotting away as i write this #two more weeks. i just need to write two more essays.#vent post #college stuff #slug rambles

1 note · View note

vitiateoriginator · 4 months

Text

I've been going thru a major creative block recently and I'm really depressed over it

#there's so much stuff I want to do but can't #I'm trying to finish some valentines adopts that I want to sell but Im struggling to finish the linearts as well as find good colors #for the characters #I've also gotta publish the next chapter of my book which is late AGAIN #but every time I open the word document to write I cannot put down anything interesting or coherent #I tried to switch to preparing some draft one shots for ockiss week but even with that I'm facing the same issues #I talked to my therapist about my creativity block and she said I just need to carve out time for myself #like. alone time where I can be creative in a way where it also doesn't feel like a chore to make things #but I don't have the ability to make that time #between work and my datemate almost constantly being around I have no way to get that #and even during the times I do get to be alone all I want to do is scroll thru tumblr and reddit or watch videos #I can't even imagine amvs to music anymore for fuck's sake!#I'm literally always fucking tired and mentally drained #I can't do the things I once loved anymore because it feels too overwhelming to put in the energy #I've tried ti meditate too to see if that would help but my brain is constantly thinking #so that doesn't help at all #and I have nobody to talk to or interest in any media to help get the creative juices flowing again #AND on top of that everyone in my life just seems set to make sure I'm as miserable as possible 24/7 #ok maybe that last part is just the depressing talking but it does still feel that way #I feel so lost man. I just want to sleep for 2 months straight #sam's rants about life

1 note · View note

toastsnaffler · 5 months

Text

I have to be up for work in 3 hours and I'm gonna be real I think ive hit the point where I might not be getting any sleep at all. for fucks sake.

#ive survived all nighters before ill scrape through the day itll just be Rough. at least i dont have much in my schedule #im not gonna take the dose this morning bc i think thats a really bad idea to do on zero hours sleep #and i can't risk two consecutive all nighters. like I have done that before but not while working full time 💀 its not worth it #drafting an email to my doctor to let her know im skipping day 2 + ask advice re. whether its worth resuming again on day 3 #bc she did list 'trouble sleeping' as a common symptom that often passes but i need to know a) how long it usually takes to pass and-#b) if this is unusually bad + would she rec supplementing with a sleep aid or just switching tack entirely and trialling a non stimulant #by this stage of the night i dont think its actually acting anymore bc i took it at 7am and its now 3am. it shouldnt last that long #i think its more just triggered my preexisting insomnia. my ability to sleep is very very sensitive sometimes + hates routine changes #just so fucking frustrating bc ive spent the past 2 months nailing my sleep routine + ive had a couple weeks of being able to-#go to bed like 9:30-10 and it only takes an hour to get to sleep and i get usually a good 7 hours sometimes 8 only waking once halfway #and i dont feel like utter shit like yeah im tired but from work not so much lack of sleep.... and now thats all fucked lmao #whatever. maybe i should just take the next dose anyway #ill see. gonna try to sleep for another 2 hours but once it hits 5 im not doing this anymore ive been trying for six hours already man #i cant even remember when i last pulled a full all nighter. it might be longer than 6 months ago... i was doing so well :-(#im so mad i was so hopeful it would have SOME good effect like ik its not a miracle worker + these things take time but so many people-#seem to have an immediate positive response even if its probably a placebo. and i got fuck all except This.#i was searching on the reddit for sleep issues and other ppl only seem to report bad ones on higher doses or years in..#like damn. do i even have adhd then. ik thats a stupid thing to think bc obvs everyones body metabolises meds differently etc but still #it is ALMOST HALF 3 and i am FUCKING TIRED #UGH. alright bedtime round 189447383 #.diaries #.vent

1 note · View note

bitchfendi · 8 months

Text

thinking abt my ocs for layton and vibrating bc i dont have motivation to draw or write them right now

#the problem w me talking/drawing/writing abt them is that i only imagine once and a while and i dont write my ff ideas down bc #im really self conscious while i write things that are self indulgent #and i overthink my writing bc i think of the big over arching narrative i havent made yet but i have these cool scenes in my head #and then get excited and over simplify the diction into ‘he said this she did that’ and while a simple first draft is a good blase to start #i want the process to be over so fast that i get agitated eith myself its not finished/perfect on the first try i get really tired from #*myself bcs #from the last two emotional processes i just mentioned that the gears in my head stop and i cant write for the rest of the day #and theres a difference between yapping on tumblr and writing #its not even like im angry with the drawing i made its more like the physical process of it makes me tired #probably bc i do t have a proper computer desk and i do everything from tha bed via lap desk and an a tablet pillow on my criss cross legs #hmm… maybe im just uncomfortable then…#btw guys i dont have my own room so i have like zero privacy #at least not yet >:)#thats it thats the post #byeah

0 notes

inkyray · 2 months

Text

INKED

MATT STURNIOLO

a/n: this is my first oneshot and i deadass have no idea what im doing, go easy on me. im so used to writing full stories i kind of struggle with stand alone oneshots but yeah, i appreciate constructive criticism

3.6k words

warnings/content ahead: the bitch is getting tattooed yall, smut, p in v, brief fingering, degrading, hair pulling, the plot that leads up to the smut is longer than the smut itself ☠️

๑

You felt the prickly needle press ink in and out of your flesh, it spared small stings that you didn't exactly hate. Nick sat on his living room couch not far away from you, but still far enough to raise his voice a little so you could properly hear him. He had a good bond with the tattoo artist, and she didn't mind coming to his house to ink him up.

Nick sat with his short sleeve rolled above his shoulder, revealing a tattoo he had just got done with. His shoulder is sore and red, covered in a layer of antibiotic ointment and plastic wrap. Earlier today he had invited you over, since he knew how long you've been wanting a tattoo, and you had decided you know what, fuck it. You tagged along. You and Nick are close, he's one of your only best friends in LA, since it isn't really where you're originally from. You two would hang out any chance the other was free.

It often got annoying for his other brothers how much you were around, but they had caught a quick loving for you and found the place empty and weird when you weren't there, considering how much you were with Nick.

The buzzing of the tattoo machine filled the silent void before it was interrupted by a TikTok Nick was watching on full volume, making you two laugh as the tattoo artist held down on your waist to keep you from messing her up. You were getting a tramp stamp tattoo on your lower back, your sweatpants folded right on where your underwear begins.

A few minutes pass of just buzzing, your stinging skin, loud TikToks, and the smell of antiseptic.

"We should make a TikTok." Nick announced after a while. You raise an eyebrow, "Now?" you wondered. Nick nods, taking the throw blanket from off of him and getting up. "I don't know Nick, kind of in the middle of getting a tattoo." You smiled up at him as he got closer. You were laying on your stomach, your body against the black leather chair wrapped in plastic, but your elbows kept the rest of your body that weren't your ribs, up, so you could use your phone.

"Oh please, you look hot as hell right now." He stood, chuckling. You rolled your eyes. "Nick. I'm in sweatpants and a tank." Nick looked at you from his phone, tapping a few things on there which you assumed had to do with TikTok. He quite literally sighed. "You are so unaware of yourself, girl."

You shrugged and blew him a kiss. "So TikTok or nah? I want to do, like a transition of our tattoos and us lip syncing to some shit song from the 2010's. I already made a draft of myself doing it before I got this bad boy." He points to his new splotchy tattoo of the bat on his shoulder. "Yeah, guess so. You're gonna have to film me in the midst of getting my tattoo, though. I didn't exactly record myself before this."

With the press of a time skip button, you guys filmed the TikTok, posted it, and Nick declared he was tired, going for a nap to his room. This wasn't out of the ordinary for him to be asleep with you here, you'd do it all the time when he was at your place, and either one of you guys eventually followed in the others footsteps, finishing whatever you were doing and going to lay beside them to sleep too.

The front door of the house opened, and you already knew it was Matt and Chris. They were running errands for their manager and Nick had decided to stay behind with you, since you were planning on getting tattoos together. Footsteps creep into the place and you wait for their reaction. They didn't exactly know you were also getting one, and they knew about your commitment issues with tattoos, so this was kind of a big deal.

Chris walks in first and doesn't even turn to look at you, assuming you were Nick getting tattooed. "You're still getting inked? How big is your bat supposed to be, Nick." He grabs a Pepsi from the fridge and pops it open. "Pretty big." You answered, your head resting on your palm as he turned to look at you, Matt following closely behind.

"Oh, shit." Chris gulps down the Pepsi, walking over to you as he inspects the tattoo on your lower back. "How does it look?" You question as you see Matt stop in his tracks and come closer to get a better look at it. "Fucking sexy. Good job." He holds out his fist and you bump it, smiling at the comment.

You feel Matt's gaze linger too long on your skin as Chris goes back into the kitchen, making another comment about the tattoo you didn't quite catch. The stinging on your back now feels ice cold. "What do you think, Matt?" You wonder, turning your head slightly to look at him.

"Bold. For someone like you." He mutters, walking over to the kitchen to grab a root beer, maneuvering around Chris since he's constantly in his way. You scoff. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Is Nick sleeping?" Chris asks, you nod, he quickly goes looking for him.

"What I mean is that it's a tattoo decision I would've never thought you'd pick." Matt says, looking at you from the kitchen as he sips from his drink. This could mean so many things and you found yourself getting confused. What? "Matt, I'm gonna need you to elaborate."

It wasn't a secret that you were the least closest with Matt. Everytime you'd try to do the things you'd do with Nick but with him, there'd be some sort of thick invisible fog in the air, making you hyper-aware of everything you're doing and saying. Your chest always felt too heavy around Matt and the tension it weighed on you was too much. It wasn't normal, and you were sure Matt could feel it too. You knew a lot of stuff about him, and he knew a lot about you, but there was something between you two keeping you from taking the extra step of declaring you guys close.

He lets his eye's dart everywhere in thought, putting together how he's going to explain it to you. "Mmmm," he mumbles, "...no." He decides as he begins to leave the room, stopping in his tracks before he fully leaves, peeking his head around the corner. "You look good though, what Chris said." And he leaves.

You are beyond confused, you turn your head toward the tattoo artist, who was sharing the same look on her face. She spared you a shrug.

It's been a few weeks and your tattoo is fully healed, you loved the way you felt with it. The urge to get a million more tattoos on you was strong, but you held back.

On the other hand, being around Matt had begun getting more unbearable by the day. When you two were left alone, there was nothing to talk about. You would shift uncomfortably and he would bring out his phone as a distraction, doing nothing significant on it other than switch between apps. You were too aware of the other and the air around you would increasingly thicken. You were sure if you tried, you could slice through it with a knife.

Right now, was one of those times. Matt in the driver's seat and you were in the middle back seat, Chris and Nick had gone inside a store to grab a few stuff.

You watched his fingers tap the steering wheel, his thumb patiently rubbing against it, studying the fact they were slender and long, trained by veins that went down his hands. They looked so perfect under the gleaming hour of the sun. His nails weren't painted, so his short nails naturally colored themselves pink with a small white hill on his thumb. You let your imagination run free. Touching the dip of your waist or massaging the inside of your thigh. His fingers curving themselves inside you…

His eyes darted at the rear mirror, catching you focused on his hands. It took you a second too long to realize that. You looked up at the mirror and found his blue eyes fixated on you, dark hair sitting across his forehead and strands messily on his eyes. Your heart gave you a loud thump and a punch in the face of flushing blood. You didn't look away from his eyes, but you could still see his thumb grazing against the steering wheel.

Your brain was empty of words. You had no idea what to say and you were sure neither did he, until he began to speak. "What ever happened to that tattoo?" He asked, still looking at you from the mirror. You furrowed your eyebrows. It takes you a second until you realize he was talking about the tramp stamp you have. "It ran away." You answered blankly, because what kind of question was that supposed to be.

Matt sighed, looking out of the window, you watched him look outside as you calculated the messy hair that didn't seem too bad to pull on. "I mean, it never made an appearance again. No one ever saw it ever since you got it." He said. A small smile forms onto your mouth. "Some people have seen it." You mutter lightly, not bothering to look away from him as he goes back looking at you.

"Is that so?" He wasn't smiling, his face was processing a look of annoyance. You wink.

The car doors are pulled open and in one sudden movement, Chris comes in with a laugh and sits next to you, Nick follows closely behind, chuckling in that deep-voiced way he does after he made a joke he was proud of, and seating himself in the passenger seat. "Why are you sitting here?" Matt questions, not bothering to ask what they're laughing at. Chris takes out a Mento and offers you one, you reluctantly take it and let it sit in your mouth, wanting to suck the flavor out before you chew it.

Nick laughs even harder. "Oh, I didn't even realize I was sitting here. Chris, and you just let me?" Chris cackles, "It doesn't matter Nick, it's just the passenger seat." He puts an arm around you. "Plus I wanted to sit with her." He tells you specifically, looking at you as he begins to chew the Mento. "How I am honored." You sarcastically put a hand to your heart, not once taking your eyes off Matt. He was expressionless and began driving.

The conversation held on and turned into a different topic, you would make sly remarks here and there but for you, the entire ride home was hard. Matt would catch you staring at him, and when he had to turn the car back with his hand behind Nick's headrest, he would look at you longer than the road behind him. He didn't look really… pleased. Which had you amused.

He was upset that he wasn't one of the people who got to see your tattoo finished and healed, and you were catching onto that. The longer they'd drive, the more stern his expression would shift. He got progressively more and more irritated throughout the ride.

They make it home and Matt doesn't even give you a glance, he immediately heads to his bedroom and makes it known by his silence he'd like to be left alone. Okay, drama queen. You thought.

You had to go see what was up, it was just in you. After the conversation you two barely had and the eye content you held, which you were pretty sure was a hallucination you pulled out of your ass, you were curious to see just how riled up he was. Or you could get him.

Chris and Nick get a call from their manager saying she's outside, picking them up so she could explain to Nick something that had to do with their merch. Apparently she already spoke about it to Matt, so it'd just be Chris and Nick going to their studio warehouse to see, since that's where all their merch first goes.When they leave, your thought process changes in a matter of seconds. Seeing how upset he is, you want to see how hard you could push his buttons.

You approach his room and knock 3 times. No answer is received, you raise your fist to knock a second time, and by the first knock the door is pulled half open, revealing Matt looking down at you, expecting you. "What?" He asks, his eyelids drooping as he looks at you blankly. He changed into gray sweatpants and a black T-shirt.

"Can I come lay down next to you? I barely got any sleep last night." You lightly fluttered your lashes at him, holding your phone with both your hands. Matt stares at you, inspecting just how tired you looked. You looked fine, but he still opened the door wide enough for you to enter, not saying anything.

You lay on his silk bed sheets. Silk. What a slut. He sits in front of his computer, and boots open a game, not bothering to acknowledge you here. You don't like that. After leaving yourself alone with your thoughts for a while today, the least thing you wanted was to be ignored. Especially by him. Even if it meant annoying him, you just wanted to have some sort of contact with him. Either verbally or physically, you don't mind a single bit.

You clear your throat. "Thanks, Matty." He grimaces at the nickname, used to hearing his family say to him, but not from you. "My legs have been hurting all day." You say, cuddling into his pillows, stretching hard enough to arch your back. A real yawn escapes your lips.

"You don't work out, don't play that dumb shit with me." He says, turning his head to look at you for a moment, before turning back to look at his monitor. "Who said anything about working out?" You tell him. He stops, completely forgetting what he was supposed to be looking at.

"I don't know, I guess my tattoo really does magical wonders for me." A smile slips through your lips as you turn the other direction, your back facing him as your shirt exposes the tattoo, your pants hanging dangerously low on your hips.

You can't see him, but you hear him turn, and you feel yourself getting excited. "Why'd you get it?" He asks and you turn your head softly to look at him. His question was simple, but the expression on his face certainly wasn't. "Why does anybody really get a tramp stamp, Matty?" You respond to his question with another one, and he is giving you a look of impatience.

"Just fucking answer me right now, sweetheart." His voice isn't loud, but his anger is. He practically huffs and you feel yourself getting immensely more attracted to his aggressiveness. You turn your head back to the other side, leaving him unanswered as he burns holes in the back of hair, knowing that would tick him off.

You hear shuffling and then the bed dips, and your heart literally does skip a beat. You swallow your built up spit down your throat as Matt grasps your jaw and makes you look at him, your eyes meeting his blue ones immediately. "Don't look away from me, y/n. Why'd you get that fucking tattoo?" He held your jaw firmly. He was on the bed rooted on his knees, looking down at you as you laid on his pillows.

Your smile somehow got wider, flashing him your white teeth as you slowly parted them to answer. "So you could fuck me." Your eyes were staring intensely at him but in a lazy manner.

Matt's eyes narrowed, darting between your eyes and your mouth. "You fucking whore." He muttered, his lips pressing onto yours so much faster than you could say the word 'whore' itself. Your eyes screwed itself shut and took the opportunity as fast as you could, kissing him back harsher.

He let go of the kiss too quickly, which only frustrated you. "You got that tattooed for me, baby?" He wonders, his voice is hoarse and breathy. You nod so fast your hold almost fell off, and as embarrassing as it was, it was true.

You had only 1 body since before the tattoo, and you barely even counted it. Constantly being around Matt but not knowing how to go about it made you more desperate. He did something to you no one had ever done. Sometimes you would feel yourself pulsing for him, imagining your fingers as his.

The reason why you had even begun considering a tramp stamp is because of the sick fantasies that they held, using Matt as its lead.

Recently you got laid, and it was underwhelming and disappointing. Your legs actually hurted because you did a few squats the day prior, not because the sex was good.

"You fucking liar." He was smiling but nothing in his tone was friendly, his eyebrows were furrowed but his grin was undeniable. You licked his mouth and he pressed against your lips. "I wouldn't lie to you, Matty." You moan into the kiss, feeling his hand trail down your body and to your waist. A hand was on the dip of your waist and the other was holding your jaw secure.

Your heart was quite literally out of its body now, his soft hand trailing to feel your bare skin under your shirt, grazing just the hill of your bare chest, purposely not touching your nipples. In a sudden movement, he cups your breast and your whimper is muffled under the kiss.

He has his knees caging both sides of your thigh, pressing his knee into you. He smirks as you gasp. "Lift your hips for me?" He pulls away, a small string of saliva connecting you two. You look straight at his eyes as you lift them, making sure he holds eye contact. And he does. He does as he curls his fingers along the strap of your pants and shoves them off.

"Let me see it." He orders. You grin, raising an eyebrow. "That could go for a lot of stuff." He grabs the side of your underwear and lets go of it, having it snap against your skin. "The tattoo. I want to see it." His voice is more demanding, more gruffly. Your pussy was soaked.

"No." You tell him all with a sly smile, you liked him aggressive and didn't mind seeing how far he'd go. In a sudden movement, you are flipped to your stomach, your hair is being gripped by his hand, pulling your head up as you feel his fingers tracing your tattoo. His fingers were too light. Too soft on your skin, you felt your back arch as he decided to balance the softness with a harsh slap on your ass.

Some hair was loose, out of his grip, resting on your back. The rest are being pulled closer to him, you feel his hot breath whisper in your ear. "You slut." A smirk spreads on your face, biting your bottom lip close enough to leave it bleeding. "You talk a lot." You tell him. He forces your shirt from off of you, leaving you just in your black lace panties.

You're still on your stomach, your bare chest pressing against his silk sheets. Your underwear is slipped off of you. Two fingers found their way to your pussy, sensitivity rubbing against it, your back arching your ass into his hard dick. "Fuck me already, Matt." You moan, knowing he's only touching you to get you overstimulated. He ignores what you're saying, responding to what's going on in his mind. "You look so beautiful. Bending yourself for me on my bed, begging for my cock."

His fingers rub against your folds, flipping your stomach inside out, pressing against your clit and your moan comes out louder than intended. "So wet for me." He licks his lips. Just as you were about to push yourself against his fingers, he let go abruptly. A huff leaves your lips and you whine. "Sorry, baby, you need something?" He mocks. You give him a noise of annoyance in response.

He grabs your ass hard, and to your surprise, you feel his tip at your entrance. You immediately clench around it and you hear him moan. He shoves himself inside of you and you practically scream, your whimpering gets louder each thrust he makes in and out of you. "You feel that, slut? Is this what you wanted?" He groans, not bothering to stop. You answer by pushing yourself onto him, fucking yourself to him.

You pushed your lips into your mouth, loving the sound of his moans and whimpers. Your head was pressed against his pillow, and he went faster, tears started prickling your eyes, shutting them. Your noises were getting more intense and a knot began forming in your stomach.

"I'm.. oh fuck–" Before you could even finish what you were saying, you release. Matt slows down, every push in is longer and slippery with your liquid, your pussy tightens around him and he mutters a quick "fuck" and pulls out, cumming all over you.

You turn to look at him. He looked back at you. There were many times you thought you were the most beautiful girl in the world, but now, seeing your hair a mess and its baby hairs sticking to your forehead, your lips sore and red from his aggressive kisses bare on his bed, he thought he was looking at a goddess. You glare at him, noticing he's been staring at a few seconds too long. "What?"

"I think I might need to see that tattoo one more time."

(idk how a tags list works)

780 notes · View notes

violentdelightsandviolentends · 3 months

Note

hii congrats on 5k!! i love your writing ! if you’re still celebrating could i request a carmy blurb where maybe you’re syd’s besite and carmy has this biggggest crush on you (im talking this mf is Yearning) and she gets on him sooo hard about it like teasing him and reader and him end up together ? TIA <3

Not So Secret.

carmen berzatto x female reader

warnings - cursing.

written for my 5k celebration- post here, masterlist here, inbox here.

“You’re gonna stare a hole through her fuckin’ head.”

“Shut up.”

Richie laughs, following Carmens eyeline to where it’s fixed on you.

You’re stood in the restaurant with Sydney, both of you giggling at something she’s showing you on her phone. When you look up, you smile at Carmy, all soft and sweet and like butter wouldn’t melt. He almost melts, a puddle of yearning on the kitchen floor.

Sugar appears next to the two of you, holding out a piece of paper.

“This is a really rough draft of what we kind of want them to look like. Obviously you have full control, but this is kind of the vibe?”

When Carmen mentioned wanting a more personal touch on the menus, Sydney quickly offered your services. You’re the most artistic person she knows, gifted with naturally gorgeous handwriting that almost looks like calligraphy. Plus, she knows how much everyone at The Bear likes you, having been a part of their transformation. It’s a win - win.

“Yeah, I get you. So you want the title words like Dessert in more of a cursive, and then the actual dishes and descriptions in a typeface?”

��Yes! Do your thing. We trust you.”

She gives you a side hug, careful not to hit you with her bump.

“I’m gonna need some nice paper, and probably a new calligraphy pen so I can start from scratch. I’m gonna head to the craft store, and I’ll be back.”

“Carmy will go with you!”

Richie shouts it from the doorway, where he’s been not so subtly watching the conversation. Carmy blushes, clearly caught off guard.

“He needs to go to the craft store too, right Cousin? Good. Go. Bye!”

Carmy’s practically being pushed out the door, uncomfortable and flustered. You smile reassuringly, grabbing your bag and walking over to your car.

“You’re okay with me driving?”

“Course. Shouldn’t I be?”

You laugh, and he can’t help but grin, the sound settling nicely into his ribcage to warm him up.

“I’m a good driver, I promise. Despite what Sydney might say.”

He looks worried but gets in anyway, ever trusting you and anything you do.

He can’t help but sneak glances at you as you drive. You’re completely focused on the road in front, bottom lip pulled between your teeth as you concentrate. Carmy feels heat bloom across his chest at the action, wishing he could reach out and release it for you before you draw blood.

A text chimes through the air, startling you both. You press the button on your steering wheel so your car can read the message out loud.

From Sydney: Carmy. Tell her immediately or I’ll lock you in the walk in freezer. Sick of you acting like a lovesick puppy. This is your chance. Don’t blow it, asshole. We’re all tired.

Both of you freeze, your hands tightening on the wheel. Carmy wants to throw himself out of the moving car, but decides against it at the last minute.

You pull the car into the craft store parking lot, choosing a space and yanking the handbrake on. You turn to him, looking at him for the first time since the bombshell.

He’s blushed all over, chest heaving and bottom lip pulled between his teeth. You almost want to reach out and release it for him, before he draws blood.

“Carmy.”

“I think, uh, yeah, I just - that was clearly sent to the wrong person. Not meant for you.”

You laugh, suddenly, and it spooks Carmy so much that he jumps out of his skin.

“Yeah, Carm. That I figured.”

He laughs with you then, unsure and nervous. You reach out and place a hand on his knee, trying to calm him down. It just makes his heart lurch.

“What’s Syd talking about? Tell me what?”

He looks down at his lap, hands knotted together.

“I think you know.”

“Wanna hear you say it,” you whisper.

He finds the courage to meet your gaze, taking a deep breath.

“I like you. So much. I can’t stop talking about you to anyone and everyone that’ll listen - to the point that everyone at The Bear gives me so much shit for it. Sydney won’t get off my back, either. She says I’m ‘yearning’.”

You chuckle, rubbing patterns into the material of his jeans with your thumb.

“They’ve all made bets,” he continues, “about if I’ll ever tell you or not.”

“Who bet on you? And who against?”

“Syd and Richie against me. Marcus too. Tina and Sugar are on my side. Not sure why.”

“Wanna make Tina and Sugar some money?”

He quirks a brow questioningly, eyes going wide when you lean over the centre console and plant your hands on either side of his face. You’re so close to him that your breaths tangle together, one set of lungs working overtime.

“Kiss me, Carm.”

He doesn’t think twice, closing the gap and pressing his lips to yours. You tangle your fingers in his hair, trying to pull him impossibly closer. His hands find your back, tugging you into him as much as the limited space allows.

You whine when he bites at your lip gently, and he has to pull away to take a steadying breath before he passes out.

“You should get your eyes checked.”

He tries to process for a moment.

“Huh?”

“You must be blind if you can’t see how much I like you, Carm. How much I’ve always liked you.”

He grins at you, bright and white, and you shake your head before leaning in to kiss him again.

When you don’t make it back into the restaurant that day, everyone has never been happier to not see the both you.

725 notes · View notes

devondespresso · 5 months

Text

(found this bad boy in my drafts and honestly i loved reading it again so we're gonna post it. wahoo)

my personal canon for post-starcourt stobin is that they're actually inseparable for the first month or so

im talking steve taken to the hospital for his injuries and the staff having to force them apart and call security. im talking they have to drag robin kicking and screaming to a different room because last time Steve left her sight he was dragged back lifeless and presumably dead (i firmly believe they intentionally used physical torture for steve and to use his condition for psychological torture for robin)

and steve waking up half-present in a cold plain room alone? might as well be back in the bunker. and if theres doctors trying to run tests and examine his wounds? might as well be Russian soldiers standing over him and touching his injuries. hurting him again. possibly planning to hurt Robin next.

and now hospital staff are trying to deal with two screaming desperate teenagers who keep begging for the other in between rambles of nonsense and they can't run tests or do their jobs or even get answers from them because all these two seem to care about is the other teen

so they don't really have any practical choices other than moving them to a combined room. and they still freak out every now and then but having the other in the room keeps these outbursts much shorter and doctors are able to actually run tests and help these kids as long as they're close together. And when Robins blood tests and everything come back ok and shes able to be discharged, shes given special permission to stay in the room at all times

and the two little kids that came in with them? they're not exactly freaking out quite like the teens but they're certainly not making things easy either. Ericas testing the willpower of any doctor or nurse she can speak to and both kids stay as close as they can at all times and refuse to leave the hospital. visiting hours over? they're in the waiting room, even convinced a couple to move so they can have seats closest to the hall that teens room is in. try to call their parents? good luck getting a full name or number out of them. once their parents do come get them they're showing back up in an hour, bikes lodged in the bike rack and back in their seats. they've been stopped for sneaking in several times and caught hiding under one of the teens beds even more often. eventually staff just gets tired of spending half their shift wrangling two middle schoolers and it becomes an unspoken agreement to just ignore them hiding in the room.

And once Steve is discharged its the same thing all over again. Robins parents were worried about her spending all her time in the hospital with the boy from her summer job, but given the cover story about the fire and the pair getting trapped inside they convinced themselves its reasonable to want to stay by your friends side while they recover

but now that hes out, shes asking if she can spend the night at his house? and his parents won't be there? absolutely not. except robins in no mindset to accept leaving him alone for this long let alone overnight so she tried sneaking out to bike over to his before he can get the dumb idea to drive over in the middle of the night post-concussion. but the buckleys notice shes gone either because she makes too much noise sneaking out or they notice the severe lack of Robin-trying-to-be-quiet noises into the night (robin my tism queen definitely has bump-into-shit syndrome in the middle of the night but she also doesn't make any noise sneaking around the base with scoops troop so i think it's a 50/50 weather she can use the adrenaline to sneak out to see steve quietly)

so they put two and two together and drive over to the Harrington house. steve answers the door and calls robin over, both of them looking sheepish but not exactly guilty. they talk on steves couch (yes Steves there too) and stobin does their best to explain their separation anxiety that gets the severity across without getting them sent to a mental hospital all while making sure not to break any ndas (which ends up being a long conversation with stobin trying to translate their experience in the bunker to fit the cover story well enough, which is very different when the real story is kidnapping and the fake one is a building fire)

eventually they reach an understanding of "we're worried this is kinda unhealthy but its clearly more stressful to try and separate you right now and we're definitely not going to be able to stop you" so they compromise to let steve stay at the buckleys for a little bit so they can at least keep an eye on them. at first they try just letting steve sleep on the couch (which they agree to because steve worried about overstepping as the guest in their house) but one or both of them have nightmares the first night and robin ends up on the couch with him anyway.

after a few nights they get the gist of the stobin dynamic: attached so strongly its concerning but nothing... flirty. anything they do is always completely innocent. hand holding with no heart eyes, banter with no tension, hell even sharing a bed they resemble little kids in a sleepover pile more than lovers. and especially after nightmares they'll find robin holding steve like hes just one of her old teddy bears.

of course theyre still cautious and have their suspicions that theyre secretly dating and just really good at hiding it, they're paranoid parents after all and robins never shown this much attention to a boy ever. but they do relax a bit with it as they're more confident theres no... funny business.. going on. or at the very least nothing thats going to leave robin hurt. they'll have their talks and robin will promise its "nothing like that", but they've grown to like steve so they're sure robin will come to them when shes ready.

now if only there was a reasonable explanation for the middle schoolers that keep showing up. apparently they were also trapped in the fire with robin and steve which helps make some sense of it, but they also sat with them in the hospital. surely if they're having nightmares about the fire they'd go to their parents? they hadn't really talked much with the sinclairs but they seemed like very loving parents and robin follows steve to his little dinners with mrs Henderson pretty often so its not likely that they can't go to their parents about nightmares, but they seem to prefer going to steve specifically. like ringing the Buckley's doorbell at 1 in the morning asking if steves there. and of course they'll let them in and show them to robins room (after calling their parents first, do they even know their childs run off?) where steve was sleeping in a pallet on the floor but is now a glorified blanket pile robins hugging. on her bed, of course. because god forbid theres 2 feet of space between them.

and the kid just joins them in their sleepover pile, dustin usually clinging to steves other side like a baby koala and erica usually finding a spot leaning against robin or occasionally making room in between them

and so more often than not the Buckley's have not one, not two, but three extra children in their house that isn't their daughter, all of them sleeping in a pile on robins bed like theres nowhere else they'd rather be

#stranger things #stobin #platonic stobin #steve harrington #robin buckley #steve and robin #platonic with a capital p #platonic soulmates stobin #stranger things season 3 #post-starcourt #devon thinks sometimes

413 notes · View notes

edenalieth · 1 month

Text

HUSH

Pairing: changbin x afab! reader

Genre: established relationship, a bit of angst at first, smut (mdni!), he’s in love

Warnings: some swearing, induced self consciousness and depreciation, fingering fem receiving

Summary: Another family dinner, another disrespectful remarks from your aunt. You’re trying your best to ignore them, however you’re getting tired of it and it does lower your self-esteem. Changbin can’t bear seeing you like that and intends to make you feel loved and beautiful.

Words: 1.6K

A.N: hello hello! im back with a fic which wasn't planned at all, oopsie 😬 i have several ones on my drafts so, be ready! as always, feedback is much appreciated and i apologize for the possible mistakes — cami, 240423

You were done. So freaking done with all this bullshit. You could never spend one family dinner without any remark from your aunt. In her eyes, you were always too lazy, too fat and she kept asking when you and your boyfriend would have kids even though she already knew the answer. All that pressure felt exhausting. You had been holding back for a while and tried to remain respectful, unlike her. However, she was truly pushing your limits. Your hands were shaking with anger as you stared into the bathroom sink, avoiding your reflection in the mirror facing you. Deep breath. Your eyes were tingling as tears were forming and threatening to fall. Suddenly, you heard a knock.

« What ? » you harshly said. You didn’t want to talk with any family member at the moment. To your surprise, it wasn’t your mom as you expected it to be.

« It’s me, love. » your boyfriend’s voice was a bit muffled by the closed door. « Can I come in ? » he softly inquired. You sighed and quickly wiped your tears away because you didn’t want him to see you like that. You half-opened the door. « I will be there in a sec, ok ? ». You forced a weak smile but your eyes betrayed your true feelings. Changbin’s soft brown eyes looked at you intensely, with a mix of concern and adoration. His heart ached at the sight of you being hurt, especially by words coming from an old hag with three divorces on her record. Before you could close the door again, he put his foot through the partially opened door. « Please ? » he pleaded, his plump lips forming a pout. How could you resist ? You let him in, going back to the sink and turning the water on. He glanced at you with your back turned to him. Closing the door, he then stepped towards you. You could feel his warm hands delicately running on your stomach as he was back hugging you. His broad chest felt like a cocoon and you directly melt into his embrace, your muscles relaxing a little. He gave a tender peck on your cheek and rubbed his nose against it. « You shouldn’t listen to her, Y/N. » he whispered in your ear. You whined. It was easier said than done. You put your hands on his and caressed them with your fingers. « I know, Binnie… I just wish that, once in her life, she would spend a dinner without unnecessarily spitting her venom to my face. » Your voice was a bit hoarse, sobs painfully tightening your throat. Changbin immediately noticed. "You know what ?" he said, his voice steady and reassuring. "You handled it with grace. You were poised and composed, even when she was being unreasonable. You're stronger than you realize. ». You sniffled, kind of skeptical about that. How he wished you could see yourself through his eyes. Then, you would realize how gorgeous and incredible you are. « Love, I can assure you that you’re perfect the way you are. Her words don’t define you.». He left more kisses on your cheek and jawline. You closed your eyes to the sensation of it and hummed. Only him could make you feel like that. Loved and peaceful.

However, he didn’t stop there. If praising you didn’t seem to be efficient enough, he would go all the way for you to accept yourself. He wanted to convey how your only existence turned his world upside down, in a good way. How he found you exceptional. Not only was he feeling lucky to have the hottest woman as his but also the smartest and kindest soul of them all. So he kept going, his smooches on your skin getting slippery and feverish. You felt his hands lowering towards your thighs and crotch. « That’s all you have to say ? I will not be satisfied by a simple hum, Y/N. » he warned. His hot breath against your neck and his curly locks brushing against it made you shiver, heat building up in your inside.

« Changbin, we should n… » you couldn’t finish your sentence, cut off by the look your boyfriend’s reflection was giving you in the mirror.

« You’re finally looking up. » he breathed, visibly pleased by your astonished face which was betraying your aroused state. The brown haired boy was still staring at you, lips glued to your skin, unbuttoning your pants. « Binnie… they’re going to wonder wh… ». You felt his middle finger brushing against your clothed core. « To wonder about what ? » he teasingly mewled. You bit on your lower lip. « About what is taking us so long. » you faintly exhaled, holding back a moan as his fingers were slowly working on your sensitive spot. He pressed himself closer to you, until you were almost crushed between him and the bathroom counter. The furniture was applying pressure on your lower abdomen, increasing all the sensations. « Oh, don’t worry. I will be quick but you have to play fairly. » he raised a brow, an amused expression adorning his face. You nodded, unconsciously moving your hips back and forth to get some friction on his hand. « Great. All you have to do is to say those three words: I am great. »

Gosh, he was driving you crazy. You were craving to feel his fingers down on you, rid of any bothering fabric. « It’s ridiculous. Come on, Changbin can’t you just… »

As if he had heard your thoughts, he sled his hands into your panties. His digits were welcomed by the warm wetness of your juices. Shit. Maybe the game will be slightly difficult for him too. However, he was a born competitor and wouldn’t admit defeat. His finger was circling your clit, variating pressure on it, going up and down to lubricate your slit. You clenched your fists and watched him pleasuring you. This was probably the hottest view you had ever seen. Any trace of tease had left his face now. He was towering you from behind, his free hand delicately bending you over. « I want to hear it. » he groaned. His eyes weren’t as soft and rounded as earlier and you could tell they were glaring at your soul. Fine. You would comply to his game and its stupid rule. « I am great » you weakly yelped.

Changbin’s heart race was increasing dangerously. How could you look so cunty and adorable at the same time ? And you weren’t even cumming yet ! Furrowing his brow, he put your pants down to your ankles. Using both hands, he grasped your butt and lightly spread it to expose your dripping folds. You gasped and tried to get his palm back on your slit. « Fucking beautiful… » he murmured to himself, his growing boner getting cramped into his boxer. He glanced at your reflection, as you waited like a puppy for its treat. « You’re doing great, love. But that’s still not enough. Say that you’re beautiful.» What ? He told you to play fairly just for him to play you like that ? « Shut up. » you growled and he couldn’t hold back a small laughter.

« Say it. » he dared you, his index playing with your entrance. « I am beauti… Ah! » you loudly moaned as he started to finger you. Changbin hurried to hush you, stuffing two digits into your mouth. You greedily sucked on it, getting totally brain fucked. Seeing you desperately horny turned him on like crazy, his dick lightly twitching in his pants. He wanted to fuck you right here. To feel your warm mouth around his cock, your tits bouncing as he would thrust into you. The idea of it made him drool and work faster on your core. He fingered you with passion, his digits curling into your inside, going back and forth to a high then slow rhythm. You were a panting mess, trying your best to stay as quiet as possible. But the brown haired boy was doing magic on you and you were getting awfully close. « Changbin, I… will not be able… to handle it… any longer. » your legs were wobbly, barely supporting you.

He smirked. « I know, love. Say it and I will let you cum. » He kissed your cheek and licked your neck, leaving a wet trail on its way. You looked at the brown haired boy. Your man was touching you with no mercy, softly rubbing his crotch on your butt. He looked outrageously handsome and lustful. His eyes glistening with love, his plump lips half opened as he was craving for air. Noticing how you were staring at him, he grabbed your chin with his left hand and made you watch yourself. « Look at you. » he moaned. The view made your inside flutter. You seemed so needy. Darting your ass up to feel him deeper, hands gripping on the counter, eyeing your boyfriend in such a sinful, sinful way. Your walls tightened around Changbin’s fingers and he knew you were seconds away from your climax. Despite this kind of degrading position, you found yourself beautiful and sexy. « I am beautiful. » you whispered, looking at yourself. « You truly are, Y/N » and with a few thrusts, you clenched around his digits, a wave of pleasure and relief hitting you hard. Your legs gave up under you and Changbin had to hug you tightly to prevent you from falling. You chuckled and he joined you. « Let me help you. »

He made you turned around and kneeled down. He had already done so much for you. And here he was, dressing you up and worshipping you as if you were a priceless treasure. When he got up, you wrapped your arms around his shoulders. « Thank you. »

« Don’t, babe. I hope that, one day, you will love yourself just as much as I love you. » he replied, brushing his nose against yours. You closed the gap between the both of you. Lips crashing onto his, his tongue seeking for a way to enter your mouth, his firm body pressing onto yours. You were both panting and you could feel his hard on against your belly. « Should we go home ? So, I can help you back » you teased him. He took your hand in his. « Please. »

180 notes · View notes