#im sure someone's done this already but i was Inspired | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

inkskinned · 1 year

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im gonna start a fight; and, at the same time, i need you to take this in the most good-faith way possible, but:

videos that involve body-checking and intentionally (and uncritically) show a mealplan of an unhealthy number of calories are just a revamped version of pro-ana food diaries.

and yeah, i know there's arguments. i address some of them under the cut. but at the end of the day, we're just coming back to romanticizing mental illness; we've just found a better platform for it.

this is already something we've done. we knew it was wrong and tried to stop it. and tbh. it just wasn't enough.

there are people who argue "well, what if you have an eating disorder, you can't help it if you don't eat!" except that as someone with an ED; we are not infants. we know what we're doing. part of having an ED is that you are like, maybe too self-aware. even if we can't help our own food choices, we don't need to fucking romanticize the disorder - something we've been warning you about since 2013. there are hours of setup, filming, and editing that go into these videos. they do not happen to fall into place randomly. there is a reason they are pieced together to be beautiful, bright, inspiring.

there's this woman who pretty much only posts daily plans under a normal amount of calories, and everyone defends her saying but it's better than nothing! and i'm like. except she opens those with images of her showing off her body and provides no context in the video or caption that suggests that she believes what she's doing is unhealthy. she has hundreds of thousands of followers on a platform designed for young kids and teens. i refuse to believe that by accident her content just happens to be cheery advice on "healthy" versions of starving.

for any other symptom of mental illness, we would be incredibly enraged by this kind of placid acceptance of a "tips and tricks" fast-start guide. imagine if people posted pink & pretty videos saying "best places to cut yourself" as if it was a fucking storytime. we, as a society, are so fucking fatphobic that we would rather accept blatantly harmful displays of self harm than admit that we are obsessed with a hyper-thin body type.

i am not suggesting someone never talks about their disorder. i talk about mine. actually, it's a plot point in my book.

here's the difference: i recognize it's a fucking mental illness. i am very careful to never mention a specific weight, eating pattern, or calorie plan. i always make sure to position it as something that ruined my fucking life. i do not put cheery music in the background and hearts and sparkles over my worst moments. i do not film it in bright light. i do not start each passage with an image of a thin body followed by "here's how to look like her."

eating disorders should not be framed as aspirational. and the problem is that society worships the "after" image, so long as you don't get too sick. there is a reason so many people who quit being "influencers" will later admit - i wasn't eating well that whole time; an obsession with food was completely destroying my life.

we let any uncredited, uncertified person write the most backwards, fucked up shit about how to get the body you desire! because the underlying, secret belief is: well, at least they're thin! and the real thing that fucking gets me each time - they make fucking money off of it. their irresponsibility and societal harm literally pays off for them.

"why do you care so much." "don't like it don't look." "so what if people experiment with new ways of thinking of food?"

thank you for asking. we're about to get extremely personal. it's because when i was 18 i discovered "thinspiration"/"thinspo." and it absolutely influenced, shaped, and codified my pre-existing eating disorder. i went from having some troubling habits and traits to being incredibly unwell within what felt like a matter of days. there were actual pages designed to train me on how to have an ED correctly. it was all so suddenly easy. i was sick; and the nature of the illness meant - i wanted to be sicker.

it takes an average of 7 years for a person to fully recover. i know this personally - even now, 10 years from the worst of it, i still fucking struggle. i am so much happier now and i eat what i want and i literally don't think about food at all (19 year old me would shudder) and yet - i still fucking know the calories of plain toast with butter.

an eating disorder is one of the deadliest types of mental illness. over 1 in 4 people with an ED will attempt suicide.

and i'm sorry. i just do not see the exchange rate of "high rate of engagement" versus "the value of a human life."

#and there's something else in there about like ....#tbh once i got over something like 1k followers #i stopped being specific about my ED for a REASON.#yes on ur personal locked blog that u use like a diary go ahead etc #but we are OBVIOUSLY not talking about that. we're talking about the sheer NUMBER of people i could be talking about #in that one paragraph. that you and i probably were thinking about 2 different influencers #bc they get to say that they're just posting FITNESS and if it's FITNESS it's OKAY and im like #jesus christ lord almighty #every person in recovery from an ED: this is incredibly dangerous holy shit do you know how much this would have triggered me #each of these ppl: how dare you!!!!!!!!! i am only harming those who WANT to engage with my content!!!!!#their followers: leave them alone !!! they can't help that they make an hours-long choice to frame their disorder as if it was #fucking cottagecore !!!!#like girlie this person needs THERAPY #again! i didn't even have that large of a following before i IMMEDIATELY deleted any specific mention of calories food etc #bc i recognize responsibility and i didnt EVER want to even ACCIDENTALLY encourage this #and im not even GETTING PAID FOR THIS!!!#aND THEY ARE!!!#something something something they know this content makes them money #they don't give a SHIT about u babe

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heraxic · 9 days

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Hello :o

I just wanted to say thank you (and also thank crumb) for getting me back into thinking about Karl Heisenberg 24/7.

I really love your artstyle, from the amazing expressions (especially the peeved/angry ones) to the scribbly lineart. As someone that’s trying to learn to draw more digitally, I really like to observe your stuff o.o

Your Moldy Family comics are funny, cozy, sweet and comforting all at the same time, and they made me discover and appreciate Eveline (oh man I love how much of a goth tween she is), and the way you draw Heisenberg (his physicality if that makes sense, his clothes, his hair, his everything) is just *chef’s kiss*.

As a former Greek Mythology child, that AU is so so nice owagh. I love all the monster adaptations/designs, it’s all so clever: I love that Kyril is scaley, hairy AND has wings (which I feel aren’t depicted often nowadays with gorgons), Alina is so majestic, with the black tipped limbs and the blood soaked dress, and the daughters being harpies/sirens(?) is also so perfect.

Idk if you’ve already said it, but what is it about Karl’s character that made him interesting to you?

I hope it makes sense (I’m a bit tired) and thank you again for the excellent food :]

Thank you so much!!!<<<3333

he lives in my head rent free…. his crusty-ass hair and barrel-shaped bod gets me every time

im glad you like my scribbly lineart! I tend to get concerned whether it really looks like anything haha

I miss drawing the mold family but i think my forte has always been fantasy, especially cause i love mythology more than anything. That’s not to say i wont go back to the modern mold family though

For greek au karl i wanted him to look like someone had haphazardly stuck animal parts to him so it’d look deliberately unnatural for him to have a relatively normal human body under all that-

I’m not sure i can fully describe why Karl is so interesting. Surface level, being voiced by Neil Newbon is always a big plus and his face model Joel Hicks is awesome-looking. His character design matches his abilities and personality really well, and speaking of personality, queer-coded villains who make a big show out of everything are always going to be my favourite. His gritty, masculine aesthetic is really inspiring in terms of gender as well. On a deeper level, in spite of all the terrible things he’s done, i find him sympathetic and relatable. After decades spent in a highly dysfunctional family, not living on his own terms, completely alone, I need him to finally be okay and get better for his own sake, with the support of people he trusts. It’s the same reason i love Eveline. Morally dark-grey characters who deserved better and could’ve gotten better with a good support system.

#thanks so much for asking!#i hope i answered well enough #im not really good at putting thoughts into words #ask #re8 #re8 karl heisenberg #re8 heisenberg #fanart #my art #sketch

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celestialtarot11 · 3 months

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Career Guidance + Messages 💼🥂🌃

Hi friends! Welcome to another PAC post 💌💖 thank you all for supporting me! We’re going to be getting you some career advice + messages regarding that! Happy picking ✨🌹

Pile 1: 9 of pentacles • The Tower • King Of Swords

Hi there pile 1’s! 💗🤗 Welcome to your reading. For some of ya’ll, maybe you received a short notice you were fired? Or for someone tried to either gossip about you, or fire you. Or cause some sort of situation at work where your reputation could’ve been damaged. Im sorry if that did happen pile 1’s, I do see you’re caring for yourself and currently living in your own world 💅🏻 as you should! If you got fired spirit is saying you didn’t deserve that, and you may actually have a chance to get a better job, a job you actually love and feel comfortable with. Im getting this massive download that some of ya’ll were waiting for someone or a group of people to receive their karma? They may have done you dirty in the past and now you’ve seen them receive it. I feel like spirit is saying continue caring for yourself, and if you’ve been losing sleep over finding another job, attract that opportunity 💗 spirit will make it known to you. You will rebuild after a loss or stagnation in your career and your reputation will improve. There is some sort of truth that this person or group hid that’ll bite them in the ass is what I heard 👀 pile 1’s, I hope this resonated for you. And I hope you can move on and do whats best for you to move forward in peace and love 🤍

Pile 2: King of Pentacles • Ace of wands • 5 of wands

Hi there pile 2’s! Welcome to your reading 💗🤗 I see you are financially stable or are reaching a point of stability and I heard this was a long time coming! You’ve been working your butt off is also what I heard, and you’ve faced many days and nights with conflict, issues and petty drama. Spirit is saying things will solidify and take a more consistent approach in your career, and your passion for life and making money will return. Some of ya’ll may actually enjoy the rush, you feel motivated and inspired to take action and maybe your next job/career will require you to be physically active. Or maybe it already does. But spirit is saying you may receive a bonus or promotion soon for your hard work! You will be recognized! 💗 I also see a lot of other people trying to one up you, so maybe this was an issue you faced in your career. People may have tried to compete against you and show off, but at the end you’ll be receiving a beautiful reward with recognition 🤍 and your own money is a sign of how much you’ve worked too so be proud! Spirit is very proud of you 🤗 make sure to rest and not burn yourself out as well, if you’ve been working a lot pile 2’s. Thank you for reading & please feel free to comment like or reblog! Have a great one 💗

Pile 3: 4 of pentacles • Page of cups • 3 of cups

Hi there pile 3’s! 🤗 welcome! I see for a while ya’ll have been saving up and now have an opportunity to spend on a night out 👀 you may get to know your coworkers a lot more and make friends! I see its a time for celebration too, so maybe you hit your goal amount either now, or in the future and you’ll want to celebrate with the people around you 💗 wonderful job pile 3’s! There may be a party at work or around you. For guidance, I feel that its important to get out there and get to know who is around you and what, especially if you’ve been focused on work for a while. Emotionally it’ll help you feel less pressured and more comfortable. I think you are the pile to stay alone and reserved, and thats understandable! So it may take some time for you to open up but I see plenty opportunities to get to know coworkers 🤗 you may also have a new coworker joining in! Someone you’ll get along greatly with and have fun with at work. I also feel some of yall have been saving up to be able to buy your sibling or friend a beautiful gift and now you can surprise them! I love this and I think they’ll love the gift, especially since its from you 🤍 for some of yall specifically that’ll resonate. Overall, work will improve and become fun if things have been stagnant or slow! Enjoy pile 3’s and please feel free to comment, reblog and like 💗

Pile 4: The Lovers • Ace of pentacles • 6 of cups

Hi there pile 4’s! 🤗 honestly this is such a sweet but hot and heavy energy 👀 I heard you’ll possibly be partnering up with someone of your dreams… romantically speaking. They may come in the form of a coworker, partner of some kind. But they will have lots of resources, money and resources to help you with any project, or anything! This could be a romantic opportunity as well, and a chance to bond with someone at work. They’ll help you financially and in some other ways…👀 is what I heard. I also heard you’re getting all in one 😂 whoever this person is, they’re cheeky and mischievous, but hella charming. And very smart. You’ll be getting a bonus or promotion soon! And will approach financial stability in the future. I see lots of cute moments and overall you’ll be enjoying your time at work. You’ll be feeling lighter, joyful, happy and expressive with the people around you. You’ll be feeling connected to what it is you do! This person could also show you another job opportunity too, so maybe some of yall are unhappy with your current job and this person comes in and gives you another reason to like them 😂 (another job) omg they’re so smooth and quick with it! Major flirt. Enjoy pile 4’s 👀 feel free to comment, like and reblog 💅🏻🤍

Thank ya’ll for reading! Feel free to like comment and reblog 🌟💗 thank ya’ll for the support! This was so much fun to do.

Paid Readings 🌟🤍

#devi post #astrology #astrology community #tarotcommunity #divination #tarot deck #tarot #witchcraft #tarot reading #pick a pile #pick a picture #pick a card #tarotdaily #tarot witch #daily tarot #tarot community

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hopelesslyromanticshark · 1 month

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HI, HEY, HELLO can i get leo with apollo!fem!reader? (plsplsplsplspls i'm beggin') where she performs a song like solo concert for camp (for inspiration new romantics by taylor swift) and leo is just so in love

i think new romantics is freakingly well describes her personality and exactly the energy that she wants to give to the camp (y'know about circumstances)

take your time, lovely! ♡

⋆ ˚｡⋆౨ৎ˚ He Can't See It In My Face, But I'm About To Play My Ace

content: leo valdez x daughter of apollo! reader fic warning: language, i believe, but that's about it!! author's note: okay okay, this was the secret fic with the explanation. i do not listen to taylor swift, in fact she's a blocked artist on my spotify, and let me explain why. my best friend is her biggest fan, like huge huge fan of hers. and i love in strange ways. my least favorite colors, colors in which i refused to buy anything in, are the favorite colors of my loved ones. because i associate them with those colors and see it as their thing. and id know how id feel it someone was trying to take something i viewed as mine, i guess??? its the same way with music. i feel like if i become a huge swiftie, then we're competing and i dunno. it sounds stupid writing all this out, BUT me and her have had talks about it and she understands and tbh, that's all that matters to me lmao. sooooo yeah that's just what i wanted to say and i wanted to say it here with the fic because i think it would have been strange as a sort of stand alone comment, ya know??? anyways, to surmise, nothing agaisnt taylor swift, huge fan of her like as a person or human being, but unwilling to listen to her music because i love people weird. okay okay im done ranting lmao (also i shouldn't have to clarify this but i will; IT IS NOT FOR PICK ME REASONS FR IF I HAVE TO BEG A MAN TO PICK ME BY BEING QUIRKY I DO NOT WANT THAT MAN)

admittedly, it had been a stupid bet to take. but the stoll's were egging her on and she really wasn't one to let clarisse of all people walk all over her. plus, she had some minor confidence in the athena cabin to keep their flag out of the ares cabin's grimy hands. apparently, it was misplaced. but, really their were worse bets she could have lost, like shaving her head or getting a tattoo, all bets the stolls have had to follow through with.

"can't wait to see your next show, songbird," clarisse mocked playfully as she marched past with her siblings, laurels proudly set on her curls. you sighed, sticking your tongue out at her back. and really, you weren't sure why you were complaining. you loved to sing! but, it's probably tied to the fact that you hated to lose. then, you started to plot, growing more excited with every passing second.

no one said this bet had to be a bad thing.

leo knew something was up from the moment he sat down for lunch. he could just sense it in the air, glaring over at the stoll's suspiciously. they shrugged and leo couldn't quite tell if they were playing innocent or truly were innocent. damn hermes genes. then a beat started playing through the pavilion, everyone looking around in confusion. chrion and mr. d both stood from there seats, also glancing around in confusion.

"what-" mr. d tried but then you were standing from your table, a played up face of confusion plastered on your face. leo squinted suspiciously at the girl of his dreams, having already caught on that this was her doing from the twinkle in her eyes alone. that twinkle that had his stomach doing flips and his lips curling upwards.

"hey, what's going on?" you called over the music, trying to hide your smile as one of your other siblings shot up from his seat.

"i dunno, y/n, maybe someone lost a bet?!" he called, the apollo cabin giggling among themselves as though they were in on an inside joke. and while the rest of the cabins weren't entirely sure what was happening, they couldn't help but smile and laugh too. except for chiron and mr. d, who were growing increasingly more upset at the interruption to their lunch.

"miss l/n, if you will-"

"oh yeah. i did!" you cheered before using one of your sibling's hands and pulling yourself up to stand on the apollo table, eyes scouring the crowd before pulling a microphone to your lips.

we're all bored we're all so tired of everything we wait for trains that just aren't coming we show off our different scarlet letters trust me, mine is better

as per usually, y/n was an amazing singer with a natural stage presence. she was dancing while singing, her siblings doing some choreographed moves. following the end of the first verse, some sunkissed hands shot up and tugged at the girl's sweatpants and baggy shirt, ripping it off to reveal a sparkly, frilly, and short dress that had leo questioning if he needed to take a 'bathroom break' during the performance.

we're so young but we're on the road to ruin we play dumb but we know exactly what we're doin' we cry tears of mascara in the bathroom honey, life is just a classroom (ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah)

y/n now moved from where she was dancing on her father's table, with the help of her siblings. she was now, basically, prancing around the dining pavilion. clearly, a lot of planning went into this, as the apollo cabin perfectly presented their camp necklaces whilst y/n sang about life being just like a classroom. the group had now danced it's way to jason's table, who looked at the group with a raised brow, causing y/n's giggles to waver her voice in a way that had leo falling deeper in love with her.

'cause baby, i could build a castle out of all the bricks they threw at me and every day is like a battle but every night with us is like a dream

whilst singing about bricks, the apollo cabin presented them to jason, who in turn laughed and shoved them away kindly. this caused an uproar in the pavilion, laughter spewing from most everyone's mouths as someone (leo) had made them aware of jason's past with bricks. you patted the ares cabin as you raced by, singing off battles that was met with kind hearted 'boo's. then, whilst singing of dreams, you dramatically draped yourself across the hypnos table, clover hovering a bundle of grapes over your mouth like you were a goddess. which leo was starting to come to the same conclusion as you shot forwards and caught one between your teeth, quickly swallowing it as your next verse came up.

baby, we're the new romantics come on, come along with me heartbreak is the national anthem we sing it proudly

we are too busy dancing to get knocked off our feet baby, we're the new romantics the best people in life are free

by this point, you were waving over at the hermes cabin, which leo has vague memories of being on your capture the flag team last time, who pretended to be surprised before shooting out of their seats and joining in the flash mob. they weren't nearly as fluid as the apollo kids, but their atrociously bad moves brought a lightheartedness to the whole thing. long ago, chrion had given up, sitting back down and enjoying the show like the rest of the campers. but poor mr. d was attempting to chase the flash mob, which they must have predicted as lou ellen, another capture the flag member of the losing team, shot her hand out and caught y/n's, the girl disappearing for a moment before reappearing, this time standing proudly on the ares table.

we're all here the lights and noise are blinding we hang back it's all in the timing it's poker he can't see it in my face but i'm about to play my ace (ah)

y/n danced around on the ares table, hopping and skipping as they pulled their plates out of the way. she made an exaggerated movement towards her wrist while singing about timing, though there was no watch there. then, seemingly from nowhere, she produced a playing card, holding it proudly up in the air between her two fingers so that everyone could see it.

we need love but all we want is danger we team up then switch sides like a record changer the rumors are terrible and cruel but honey, most of them are true (ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah)

with a wink during the final line, y/n threw down the card. a puff of smoke quickly covered the ares table. when it cleared, the girl was gone, along with the rest of the flash mob. everyone looked around, knowing it wasn't the end, many refusing to be jump-scared by a stupid flash mob. then they came running back, basically flooding the pavilion with how many of them there were.

'cause baby, i could build a castle out of all the bricks they threw at me and every day is like a battle but every night with us is like a dream

baby, we're the new romantics come on, come along with me heartbreak is the national anthem we sing it proudly

once more, y/n waved another group over to join in the dancing and fun. this time, the aphrodite cabin bounced out of their seats and raced to join shouting about heartbreak just a little too loud. and you were smiling so widely that leo couldn't help but smile too, completely enamored by the shameless daughter of apollo.

we are too busy dancing to get knocked off our feet baby, we're the new romantics the best people in life are free oh-oh (oh, oh, oh-oh, oh) so, come on, come along with me (oh, oh, oh-oh, oh) the best people in life are free (oh, oh, oh-oh, oh)

the third and final group was summoned, annabeth proudly pulling her siblings up from their table and linking arms with you and piper. percy was laughing loudly from his lonely table, clearly unaware that this was going on, let alone that his girlfriend was involved. then, with another clasp of lou ellen's hand, you were gone. only to appear before leo, standing on his father's table, your eyes darting around until the landed on leo, who swallowed thickly at how pretty you looked in that moment.

please take my hand and

you presented your hand to leo from your higher position and he wasn't even thinking twice before grasping it and allowing you to pull him up to stand on the table as well.

please take me dancing, and

without needing to be prompted, leo spun you and you blushed, which was blurring due to the spinning and leo just barely caught on that it was happening. you then, subtly, pulled him towards the edge of the table, the boy too starstruck to notice until you rested a hand against his heaving chest, the only thing between our lips was a couple of inches and your bedazzled microphone.

please leave me stranded

you punctuated your words with a push against his chest, sending him falling backwards safely into the arms of your siblings. you couldn't help but laugh at the shocked look on his face and leo couldn't help but look at you like you were the whole world, the only thing that'd ever matter to him, and so much more.

it's so romantic (it's so romantic) (ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah)

#postcards from covey ౨ৎ #all my love ౨ৎ #hoo #pjo #heroes of olympus x reader #leo valdez x reader #leo valdez

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the-faceless-bride · 2 years

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Wasted on a dream...

Imagine: In your final moments you confess how you've wasted your life on a dream, and you figure you might as well tell someone how you feel, even if it isn't the one who is about to take your life... Or... Was.

Includes: Asa (the collector), Jesse (Chromeskull), Jason (the zombie), Daniel(Candyman), Thomas (leatherface)

Asa The Collector

You weren't meant to be in his collection, it was meant to be one of your roommates to start. He was watching for a while and thought they would be a pretty addition to his collecting, a pretty new butterfly... Well until he saw how much prettier you were...

That night he had your roommate in the box and you and the other tied to chairs, he planned to be a bit more creative tonight feeling inspired by his recent catch, and while the other roommate kicked, screamed, bit, and cussed a storm at him trying to get away... You sat there in silence.

At first, he thought you just knew you weren't getting out and had already given up, but there was much more than that... You were thinking about how much time you waisted...

Staying home every night, waiting for that prince charming you dreamed so much about, taking all those cold showers, and wasting all that time... Throwing your life away on a dream that never came true...

When he finally had more on to you, you were already lost in thought. You smiled, your lower lip quivering slightly before letting out a huff of a chuckle. "Wanna know something funny?" Asa paused, this was new. People didn't talk to him... Well, at least not as you had just done now. How interesting. "I always thought I was gonna have a fairytale life, with a prince and a perfect home, and be taken care of all my life... All that dreaming... Waiting... Wishing... And it was all for nothing... Im gonna die, and I never even got to see that prince... Not even once..." A tear slowly descends on your cheek.

You weren't paying attention to anything the man in the mask was doing but you heard a scream and then a gurgle before a bloodied hand reached out and roughly picked you up, and before you could fully process what was happening you were dropped in a closed small space before the top was closed over you.

Asa knew he was no prince charming, but if being taken care of and having a home was all you wanted? He could do that for you butterfly.

Jesse Chromeskull

Jesse had found you; Jesse had just finished playing with his latest piggy and was making his way to his car to go home. But stopped when he heard a soft sniffle, Jesse paused in his moments and turned on his heel. And that's when he spotted you.

Sitting on the curb of the street; tears falling down your glistening cheeks, lip slightly wabbling, shoulders jolting with each sniffle and harsh breath, eyes downcast looking at your feet. Aww, poor little piggy... Looking slightly to the left of you he saw an empty beer bottle, just how many of those have you had?

He slowly made his way over to you, briefly looking around to make sure there would be no witnesses and he slowly turned on his camera.

You heard some shuffling before it stopped right next to you, you sniffled one last time before turning and looking up at who was next to you. Jesse found you looking up at him with your puppy dog eyes endearing.

'What's wrong?' A custom text-to-speech voice asked you, and you let out a small huff. " it's a long story... But to sum it up, I was at a party with my boyfriend and uhh... Turns out he needed more than me... Caught him with my best friend... So much for prince charming..." Ouch, Jesse thought. You mumble that last part to yourself, but Jesse heard you. Jesse tilted his head to you, 'need a ride home?' The text-to-speech offered, and while he was a stranger and if you were sober would have said hell no, you were heartbroken and very much drunk...

You sat in the passenger seat of Jesse's sleek leather seated car, looking out the window as Jesse drove. You were still sniffling but weren't breaking down. Jesse was expecting you to stay quiet for the whole drive, but you surprised him. "Have you ever been in love?" Jesse teased for a moment his hands tightening on the steering wheel, "I always wanted to be... I always dreamed of being deeply in love with someone, someone who loved me and wanted to care for me, someone to have a family with, someone who would do anything for me if I asked... You think that's real?" Jesse slowly eased back up, and he thought for a moment... Yes, he was in love once... Well, at least he thinks he was in love... He did marry her, he was going to have a family with her, he was going to have a family with her, and if she asked him for the mood he would do anything he could to give it to her... Yeah, he is pretty sure that was love... Only she wasn't as in love with him as he was with her...

You softly laughed before looking over at him, "im starting to lose hope... That person doesn't exist, do they." You were no longer asking a question...you had started to realize that, that fairytale was nothing but a lie. No, Jesse thought, they exist... I was that person.

Jesse pulled a U and started driving to his house, this whole time he was gonna bring you to the playroom. You would've made a pretty piggy; hell you hadn't even given him your address, he just started driving and you just accepted it, just assuming somehow he knew where you lived. But Jesse had a new plan as he drove home, slowly turning off and removing his camera.

Jason V. The zombie

You met because of a date gone terribly wrong you went on a date with a 'nice guy' who you thought was finally the prince you were waiting for. when he said you were going to Camp Crystal lake you heard of the place and figured it was technically a resting place and it would be quite rude to just go rummaging around there without something? So you picked some flowers from your garden and went on your date.

It was not how you thought it was going to go, and it all went downhill as soon as you placed the small assortment of flowers at the docks and the first thing your date did was scoff you felt awful for what happened to this poor boy and your date only rolled his eyes at the story not feeling sorry at all. But the large man hiding and watching found it to be very thoughtful of you...

And it was the final straw when you went to sit down and your date started kissing you, but not in a sweet way... Lustfully, and didn't take too kindly when you pulled away with a frown, for a few reasons... The first being that this was still technically a resting place as someone did die here and was still here, or their body at least. And if they thought that you were going to drop your pants in the forest of said resting ground and degrade this poor boys place of rest they were horribly mistaken, and second you thought this would be the place to finally make it official and they would ask you to be their partner, here with the fireflies, wilderness, and the big ol' beautiful sunset... Guess not.

When they started berating you for being "a prude" and making those pretty eyes of yours tear up, they got an axe thrown into the back of their head... You gasped, a moment of shock as some small blood bullets landed on your face you let out a screech. Standing to run but managing to run right into a bear trap. You fall with a cry and look up at the large looming man above you. You whimper a please before laying your head on the soft dirt ground with a small cry.

Jason knelt down getting on his knees beside you, snapping open the trap as quickly and painlessly as he could. Before lifting you and letting your head rest on his strong chest.

It shattered his undead heart hearing you softly babble about how "this isn't how the night was meant to go", " this is where your fairytale was finally meant to start...", and "wasted so much time of something that was never going to be..."

You poor little thing... Don't worry, Mamma likes you, and so does he! He can give you a fairytale, just like the ones in the story books his mom would read him at night before bed. He could be your prince...

Just as long it meant you would be his princex and would give him his fairytale in return...

Daniel R. the candyman

You were forced to do this, the boy you liked and had been daydreaming about had invited you to his house and you were over the moon. You were convinced that this is where you were finally going to be noticed and loved... You were wrong, not a minute or two after showing up you were laughed at by him and his friends, called names, tossed in a dark bathroom, and told that until you said the words to summon the candyman you wouldn't be let out.

You were already crying by the time you got past the first word, it wasn't a secret that this stuff scared you and made you want to hide away under your covers like a little kid. And all you could hear was their laughter at your quivering voice.

Daniel slowly woke up and watched for you to say the last few words, he grew intrigued no one who called him was already crying. It was clear you didn't want this, so why were you? It wasn't until the fourth call that he could hear around him, your soft sobs and the laughter of the group behind the door... And while Daniel didn't know you locking you in here wasn't a very nice thing for them to do to you...

By the final call, you had covered your eyes with both hands and whimpered to be let out... But there was only silence. You went to open the door but were quickly grabbed and pulled away from the door. And he was there, looking down at you. "Now why would you do something so foolish as to call to me, when you clearly do not want me?" And you spilled. You figured he would kill you and you might as well confess everything in your heart now.

All your daydreaming, wishing, your dreams of "being the one someone looks at like your the most beautiful thing they had ever seen, to be loved and have someone be hopelessly devoted to you and you in return, to be the one that lights someone's world with a single smile..." And it touched Daniels bee-infected heart...

Daniel looked into your eyes, a slow tilt to his head before slowly caressing his hook along your jaw, "If that is what you want..."- moving softly up your cheek before moving back to lift your chin... -" then you shall have it..."

And just like that, when you blinked he was gone... When you wanted out you gasped in horror, the group was gutted and strewn about the room...

You were with a group of friends, the group had all stopped to grab some things at a convince store when you and Thomas locked eyes for the first time. He was helping his momma put heavy boxes up on some high shelves when you saw him, the sun caught in his dark curly hair, his eyes sparking a burning desire. He was beautiful and strong, and from how he was with the sweet old lady at the counter he was respectful and thoughtful, which was much more than any of the other guys your age.

But nothing can ever go your way, as you were immediately teased for your interest in the giant. One going as far as to make a joke about "beauty and the beast" taking a jab at your love for fairytales and your dreams of living one making the rest of the group all laugh at you. You knew they were only playing... That didn't make you feel any less silly or mocked...

But you head your head high, "look im sorry im not willing to settle for some jerk who is only interested in sex and thinks he is such a nice guy for giving the fantasy lover a chance, I want someone who really wants me not just for looks or body." I take a gab at the one who made the joke as she and her boyfriend had been fighting about how their relationship was all sex, but she hit a nerve and she knew how important it was to you... No matter how silly or childish it was...

While you were talking it caught the giant's attention... As well as his mother. And boy was she gitty about the whole situation, God had finally answered her prayers... Her sweet Tommy and a sweet person like you... Someone who will love Tommy with all theirr heart no matter what he does, or what he looks like...

Later that night when your group's can broke down and ended up at the Hewitt household, while your friends were taken down into the basement you ended up in a drug-induced sleep in Tommy's bed... His own sleeping beauty...

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ratgrinders · 9 days

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hello tumblr user ratgrinders... appreciate the work you do even in these trying times (post onscreen homicide). i think the fact that kipperlilly is like, annoying and reminds people of girls they didnt like in high school ppl miss out on a lot of interesting stuff going on w her!

like, the "power hungry teen girl who is just evil and tbk kill her" thing has already been done in fhfy with penelope, & its much more interesting to think about how & why the ratgrinders are doing all this suspicious stuff tbk are noticing-- like the fact that they have been very cagey about showing their combat abilities, the weird stuff going on with various deities, and even kipperlilly's stolen therapy files (lol) are very intriguing!! and imo writing that off as assuming they'll be straightforward, incompetent villians (popular assumption due to their lack of friendship, even though it's famously the weakest magic) is far less interesting. like... they got into this situation for a reason and got involved w all this stuff somehow, & i don't think all of this would happen if they were a normal adv party, even a shitty one. how did they get here! why!! thx

thank you so much, its getting hard out here but nothing can stop the rat grinders stan grind!!!!! (<- is coping. im coping)

yeah but fr, kipperlily is FASCINATING to me. i truly believe that she thinks everything she does is justified in service of her larger goal, whatever that may be. yeah, stone cold murder really isn't the fairest thing you can do to your academic rivals, but writing all of that off as "oh she's just always been a jealous hypocrite who never believed in what she was spouting" i think is an inaccurate interpretation of her own motivations. she clearly believes in something.

cuz the thing is, we're still not really sure was kipperlily wants? ("egg on my face for wanting something"). sure, she's trying to run for student body president, but what exact rules is she hoping to implement, and how does that relate to trying to resurrect a rage god? plus, grix attacked ruben because he/his ritual were a direct threat to the existence of the school, which seems counter productive if you're trying to become president of it.

and what cause would kipperlily specifically have to be tied up with a rage god anyway? there's nothing that clearly on the surface ties a little type A halfling rogue to a fiendish god of rage and conquest, hell some of the other members in her party seem like on the surface they would have a closer tie to it (like both of their now dead clerics, mary ann who literally harnesses rage, ruben who is full of teen angst). kipperlily's apparently been filled with rage since freshman year, but why? (is she like riz, who spent his whole life infected with an aspect of the nightmare king and literally grew up with this seed of doubt inside him? did something similar happen to kipperlily?)

ankarna is the goddess of justice and the conviction to act when they see something unfair. no matter what, i think kipperlily truly believes that she's witnessed something unfair. and it feels significant to mention that this last murder is an escalation on the rat grinders' part. the other people who have ended up dead around them (lucy, yolanda, the original hosts of frosty faire) all seemed to have died indirectly as a result of the rage crystals and the uncontrollable rage it inspires. this is the first time we're seen stone cold premeditated murder, done with simply a blade and betrayal.

honestly, this transition seems to mirror what ankarna herself went through, starting off as the goddess of conviction and justice but slowly transitioning to one of conquest and war. brennan said something about ankarna, "yeah its nice to have someone like that on your side who will stand up for you, but you better hope that person is always right". i think what we're seeing now is someone with that same conviction, but with a misguided cause.

kipperlily's crossed a line now and i wouldn't be surprised if she doesn't end up redeemed by the end of the season, but i'm still interested in how she and her party were motivated to do this in the first place, because like you said i don't think a normal adventuring party would've ended up here. it takes a lot to transition to multiple murders!

#as a goro akechi stan you could never make me hate the overachieving slightly murderous high school student full of rage its impossible #dimension 20 #fantasy high #fantasy high junior year #fhjy spoilers #original post #rat grinders #kipperlily copperkettle

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lindalofbroome · 3 months

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original sketches

DELTORA FASHION CONCEPT ART V2

hello i have finally coloured some rough sketches of some deltoran fashions, a redraw of some really old sketches from ages ago.

im a pretty amateur concept artists and i hate designing clothes so truly was a challenge for me hahah BUT it has given me plenty of time to think of headcanons. im not sure what i've already posted about or not so im just gonna go ahead and rant

these characters were originally just models for me to draw the clothes on, so i didn't need to draw a new person every time; although in some of my earliest sketches of different people groups i did a bunch of people. but naturally these characters have developed a little and some of them are my beloved adin-era OCs <3

[about 4,500 words]

⬜ JALIS

since the jalis are reknowned for their warrior prowess and their signature gold armour, i thought it'd be neat that even if when they're not wearing the full set, they are always wearing their arm guards. it's a sense of pride and identity, they probably receive them as a rite of passage into adulthood. not every jalis is a knight, but they value a heart of courage and great feats and they all have them, and would wear them always (or at least special occasions if one prefers not).

i headcanon that jasmine was gifted her own set of arm guards as an expression of their respect and admiration of her. her relationship with glock grew so much and was cut off, but she earned her "heart of a jalis" and we didnt get to see much of jasmine and gers together, but theres plenty of time post-DQ3. i think my jasmine and the jalis thoughts should be a separate post though, otherwise this post will never end 😂

i dont imagine that the jalis had special party clothes, i think they just turn up in their usual clothes and get drunk and dance their hearts out maybe start a brawl thats none of my business

i cant remember why i've been giving them this geometric sort of pattern tbh. i think i drew someone at some point and wanted it to look different to mcbride's design but im not sure if i like it or not. the plus is that i can make diamond motifs though!!

i also cant really remember how my brown skin gold hair came to be 🤔🤔 wait backtracking i think what happened is that i decided to draw del people as black latinx inspired, so it wasn't that big a step to make jalis also dark skinned since they're both in the south (deltora geography is weird tho so like it's not that deep) and then i think i made them blonde as i "why not??" situation but tHEN i thought maybe it's connected to their jalis gold?

my headcanon is that their armour is made of a unique metal that can only be found in diamond territory, it's super hard, tough, and light etc. so maybe whatever is In The Ground is also in them and their blood and shows in their hair????

🥳 fun fact 🥳 wasn't until i had to draw steven and glock side by side that i had realised what i'd done?? i.e. steven canonically has brown skin gold hair too¹. which now forces me to think about whether it should be a coincidence (like it is) or shall i headcanon that steven and nevets' father was jalis² 🤔 ¹ pretty sure it's about the dichotomy, to show contrast but connection between the brothers. i have many steven and nevets thoughts but that should also be another post ² i am.

🟩 DREAD GNOMES

these characters are adin-era, so unfortunately this would be when the gnomes still hunt the kin. whats weird is that i realised that i was picturing the caramelly brown fabric that this gnome is wearing was the kin pelt and not the big furry parts?? i usually picture the kin as more like velvetty. idk what the thicker fur parts would be though?? literally any other animal i guess 😅 i dont know it doesn't make sense and it's only occurring to me right now i shall have to think about it lmao

anyway made them green because why not. maybe they come in different colours idk. this gnome is pre-gellick so does go out in the sun, gellick-era gnomes would be waaaaay more paler they probably looked white. this could be similar to the jalis and like theres something in the grounddd

gla-thon claims that the dread gnomes knew that lesser gems had weaker but the same powers of the great talisman gems (sots), but im not sure if they knew it before adin. would be interesting if they did 🤔 and how they figured it out?? (side note but now im wondering about how withick knew what to write about the gems??) would imply that if they got the great emerald than they could deduce there are others surely. unless they thought it was a freak accident/miracle. anyway we know they love gems and gold etc etc so they obviously decorate themselves with heaps of jewellery

triangle motifs in homage to their mountain 💚

i gave them a sort of war paint ritual. i'm not sure if they all do the same markings, but this one was specifically to symbolise a bow and arrow (arrow going up the nose). you can see it a bit better here lol. i also decided that sometimes they wear it for purely cosmetic purposes. im not sure what the substance is exactly though. i think in my head i was imagining something similar to kohl, but maybe not.

🥳 fun fact 🥳 bre-tak and az-zure are lesbians (i make the rules)

🟦 MERE

oooooh baby this is my guy my babygirl my everything

okay so i think this headcanon developed recently when i last drew sky of rithmere and i thought that mere superstition encouraged them to wear their charms in random spots to avoid them cancelling each other out. it could be construed to be they were inspired by the night sky and the pattern of the stars perhaps. this led them to prefer asymmetrical fashions, mostly prominent in the armour i put badr in

🥳 fun fact 🥳 badr means "full moon" 👀

i think i originally decided the mere had leather armour just to give them something different iirc but the mere characters we see are usually the lithe, speedy, crafty type, so maybe light, mobile armour does work for them lol. anyway the main reason is that i had the image of studded leather, and i was like ohohoho STARS

i generally think of them with muted colours but sometimes they have a bold blue for their prized garmants. like zillah and co, the leaders of rithmere in adin's time were described with bright blue and starry cloaks. (i checked the wiki just to check zillah's name lol and apparently it's actually canon they have leather armour?? so not sure why i thought otherwise) anyway i do currently have minecraft brain but i did vaguely remember that people made ultramarine pigment from grinding lapis lazuli into a powder and im not sure if thats something the mere would do or if there's some strong blue dyes they can get from plants or something native to their territory 🤔

actually im liking that idea now? it would be incredibly time-consuming and labour-intensive but that would add to its value?? real world lapis lazuli has a horrible yield rate of 1kg lapis to 30g of pigment apparently, but it's a strong pigment (unless i misunderstand). alternative name for ultramarine is "permanent blue" apparently so. anyway ultramarine irl is more of a paint pigment, but in roddaverse maybe the mere make a lucky blue dye to use on cloaks and scarfs and shawls etc for good fortune?? me frantically checking that i put badr and luisa's wedding garb in bold blue lmAO oh i did but it's a little muted. they mix in oils and stuff to make the paint, so it doesnt seem like a stretch that they can mix different ingredients or ratio to make a cloth dye (to my very amateur understanding).

so im imagining now that they have a special (probably secret within the mere) process to create bright blue thread speckled with white (also gold to me. im pro deltora lapis with gold) and weave it into their beautiful starry night fabric. the amount of labour and the use of their prized lapis lazuli makes it very special, and maybe some people think it's the lapis that makes the fabric lucky or maybe some people think it's the work of love and time that makes it lucky, maybe both.

🥳 fun fact 🥳 i forgot that "bless your lucky stars" is like a real saying until recently lol

a starry cloak is probably something only the really rich could afford, but i think that they are more like heirlooms and states of office? im not sure if these pieces are things that one would purchase or something they would receive. bit hard to imagine people doing it for free but maybe it's one of those staple things that they revere and everyone else works to support them as well etc like the cooks in noradz are prized. idk. but yeah like a poorer family couldn't get a new one, but they would have one that has been in their family for generations you know? and i think that there would be something about like. idk youre meeting up with your doctor or something and youre nervous and you put on your family's best clothes (the most lucky ones) and maybe youre cynical about the whole good fortune stuff but there's something comforting about wearing the cloak your mother wore and your grandmother and your great grandmother wore, who also had to do such things. something something gives you the confidence to make your own luck because youre no longer pessimistic and allowing avoidable mistakes to happen

this means that the mere giving adin a cloak was a REALLY big deal because they definitely dont just go throwing those around and they would probably only give it to an outsider in trade for a steeeeeeeeeeeep price. which of course means that there would be knock offs with bad quality dye. lmao thats perfect actually. like 10000% there would be merchants in rithmere trying to sell cheaper versions to people that are expensive but still affordable to the average person. some would be different shades of blue, but the more crafty might have dyes that are strong but not lasting.

oh also i headcanon that palace fashion was a conglomerate of aspects from all the tribes but this should be it's own post i think. but i just remembered that i put gold thread in badr's braids in the formal wear sketch. i did that to tie in with the veins/flecks of gold (technically pyrite) in irl lapis lazuli. as such, people at del palace were inspired to weave gold into their hair too.

also gives me another thing to ship badr and luisa lmao. badr can wear some gold and luisa can wear some blue as a treat for me <3 moon and stars ocs beloved

🟨 DEL

alright. okay so del is definitely very white western patriarchal coded (most just a bias of living in that type of society i reckon) but it sucks and i'm passionate about making del NOT that. i think i've said this a million times now but this should be it's own post too, but most succinctly del is a very vibrant, curious, and daring sort of culture (e.g. their recklessness, exploration, trading). they were already marrying non-deltorans before adin (i imagine that some might have dared to marry outside of del, but it would have been way more politically complex so it was rarer and often kept quiet and rural). people of del were moving to other countries (like dorne) and people were probably moving to del, so del is definitely a big mix of different people and languages and superstitions and stuff.

but anyway i wanted to set a sort of base for before that. i've had art on the wip pile for YEARS about this and i'd flesh this out properly when it's done lol (hopefully we see that day) but since the topaz has the power to summon spirits, i really wanted to develop an aspect of del culture around that? i was inspired by Día De Los Muertos (Day of the Dead) and i still want to do some more in depth research and explore it more properly, but i like the idea that del will celebrate their lost loved ones life, coming together to remember, if they were lucky the got to see and even talk to their spirits. maybe pre-talisman they did know about topaz properties and they had a big deposit of gems that they would wheel out for the festival and the huge pile under the full moon would be enough to allow the spirits and people to interact? anyway this is a longwinded explanation of why my sketches of del fashion could be latinx inspired.

circle motifs in homage to the moon. the trim decoration on luisa's scabbards are based on moon phases :D

i also arbitrarily decided that del people love swishy clothes. they're all about the drama of cloaks and twirling in sundresses etc it's fun. not sure if i will actually follow through with that lol or maybe that can just be luisa.

🥳 fun fact 🥳 i think hearing luisa laugh would heal me

there's no particular reason for why i've been drawing a lot of del people as black, other than maybe spite lol. i think i drew jasmine and that got the ball rolling. del is a blank enough slate that they can be anything. im tired of white people being the front runners asldkjfhalsdf. bUT again del is multicultural, so there isn't a particular look for anyone in del. being del is more a state of mind and being part of community i think. you move to del and you participate in their society in one way or another and boom youre del now they adopted you.

🌈 PLAINS

hiran attire inspired by french aristocratic fashion. i cant remember who posted about it but pretty sure this was something that circulated around the fandom at least a little bit at some point.

added some subtle rainbow to harlow's outfits because he's the strong silent type. but i suppose there are so much more gaudier and extravagant outfits.

i was going to say this was just hira fashion and not like, rural plains fashion but i guess this is the same for all of them. it's just like a general direction for what someone might wear.

the swirly patterns?? i dont know. i drew them when i did adin's pre-battle speech as the last supper but i dont think there's a particular reason. i remember that i was trying to do something unique because lief recognises the cup in the city of rats as the same/similar to the one in noradz, so there had to be something to be recognisable lol but i probably just did it this way because it's relatively easy to doodle, just takes a bit of time.

🥳 fun fact 🥳 harlow was a cook before the shadow invasion. out of desperation, he and many others had to train to defend hira. he's big with natural balance and reflexes so he excelled and is a pretty adept warrior, but he will always think of himself as a cook first, warrior second.

now the armour!! freshest headcanon piping hot. yesterday when i was colouring i was sitting there like wow you look like a tin can man and you are so boring. we went from pretty colours to blank. im almost certain the hiran soldiers were described as silver with white plumes, so i was planning on doing that but they had intricate details on their armour because they are Extra, so it has the swirly patterns you can see on harlow's coat.

but then suddenly i was like. what if. pearlescent.

and honestly i loved it so much i didnt care i was setting myself up for some difficult work ahead lmao. but my general idea was that they're armour looked like it was silver, but if the light catches it at the right angle it exposes the rainbow in it. most of these headcanons i've had baking for at least a year, but this is very new so i dont any hard details yet. kira mentioned enamel or ceramic and lowkey interested in having a look into that so that theres another armour material. maybe it's gonna be like special jalis gold and special plains silver. maybe something else. i also just remembered bismuth exists (same boat as gold as very heavy and soft) but i think maybe it's too loud, i think im liking the more subtle pearlescent thing aLTHOUGH it's a good metallic rainbow reference 👀 maybe there is an esteemed plains warrior with a rainbow sword

ANYWAY pearlescent armour really hit my heart because oh my god once upon a time the plains had a shore and they could visit the sea,,,, lowkey ocean vibes without an ocean [screaming crying cat spinning in a void.gif]

🥳 fun fact 🥳 i have NO idea what food harlow has made. i think i had ratatouille on the brain at the time????

🟥 RALADS

⚠ PROPAGANDA ALERT ⚠

ruby territory best territory. ruby symbol of happiness. warns of danger AND antidote to poison. double helpful. ralads are so sweet and so smart. architectural and engineering marvels. living in harmony with the land and beasts. D'OR!!! manus and nanion friendship underrated and so special to me. horse girls. AND. broome. god theres so much i could say about broome that i cant say anything. anyway you guys know im normal about broome yes of course. separate post etc etc

i think technically this is a headcanon but it's not that big a stretch surely but as above i always picture ralads as in harmony with nature. never take more than they need, know how to work with not against, theyre not the main attraction but an equal part of the bigger picture.. this isn't even about how smart they are with engineering and their perfectly round houses with bricks that are cut perfectly. im thinking about their knowledge of their world is so strong and wide and diverse. they have the most vibrant and potent dyes and pigments around, they have the most colourful fabrics and clothes around. the plains has many colours but it can't compete, and they have different styles. i think that the hirans would trade for the dyes though (maybe undercutting pre-adin, maybe more equal post-unification). i think that they would also have a pretty decent blue dye but it is still inferior to mere lapis lazuli blue. it is probably a dye that could be used for a mid range mere garment?

maybe it's the anime fault but i do usually imagine ralads as barefoot but i also drew iris with construction tools and just the idea of ralads walking around a construction site barefoot was not fun to me. but it could be a hobbit tough soles situation. anyway i drew some shoes so i had a vague reference if i wanted to draw ralad shoes.

obviously had a problem drawing warrior attire for a non-war race. but i thought what if i leaned into the stories the hirans tell about how the scouts and soldiers they send into the ralad wilds never returned and were often found dead with broken bones or whatnot. definitely big watching but never seen vibes imo. so i decked iris out in some camouflage lol

🥳 fun fact 🥳 im sure the ralads can whistle and whatnot to make birdcall signals, but i thought it was fun for iris to be able to make birdcalls with her flute

HEY ALSO headcanon about ralad hair. i was making some dragon art from a doran pov that i was going to save for that but i cant wait now. but we know from Tales that the ralads had a good relationship with the ruby dragons, could even summon them (unless im misremembering and it was more like a premeditated calling) but i was thinking about how they nest with .. human? hair. and i was thinking what if they grow out their hair? and then they offer it to a dragon when they are ready? i dont know if there's a nesting season for dragons but it could be something like that? ralad-dragon ceremony and party time. this isn't a rite of passage type of thing, just something that they like to do. not everyone does it probably, but most do it once, some people do it several or many times in their lifetime. it's an honour, but not really a sacrifice to them. it's part of the world balance and theyre willing to serve the dragons as the dragons serve them as they water the plants and the plants feed them and they feed beasts and beasts feed them.

also dont remember why i did the hair so bright and orangey??? genuinely perplexed lmao. probably was leaning into irl ginger but like THEYRE BLUE so i could probably make them actual red. not sure if this is also like a "theres something in the ground" situation also that makes their hair red but maybe 😂😂

side note but it's lowkey so wild to me that rodda was like yeah these guys are blue-grey with red hair, and then everyone else is like an average person, BUT the mountain people are short. like they're all just some guy basically???

it does make return to del so so funny because fallow is like AYO look at these MONSTERS they are UGLY and WEIRD

but i guess thats part of the motivation to give the deltora tribes some basic unique traits.

🟪 TORANS

okay so toran robes as inspired by japanese fashion is definitely something that's floated around the fandom for ages. i can't remember if it was before or after seeing posts about it that i started my first concept sketches but i think it probably had a hand in helping me visualise what rodda was talking about when she described their robes as butterfly wings when they speed-travelled. like yeah big deep sleeves and floor trailing hems WOULD probably look like colourful butterfly wings in the wind,,

🥳 fun fact 🥳 azami be always hungry. if only she knew someone who liked to cook 🤔

i don't have much to say design-wise, kinda just did various doodling. they would probably be second in extravagance to the plains, but it's a different sort of detail? they are probably a bit more refined and elegant than the hirans who are probably more bold in their designs. torans grow to be vain and selfish (it's already started by adin's time) so they probably have a high value on the beauty of their belongings, and it probably began with imagery of beasts and plants and dragons in amethyst territory, "true" pictures. but as time went on it probably distorted a bit and became idealised and/or fantastical etc.

OKAY SO my brain bluescreened just now for a moment trying to figure out how a people who use magic to make life easier, were also the ones known for their weaving, a manual hands-on task (lief's cloak is praised as being worthy of toran looms, implying high grade; pretty sure this was supposed to be a hint that his mother is not who he thinks she is also). some conclusions are 1) they weave with magic (sad, horrible), 2) they weave as a past-time, for fun etc (okay) but i took it to a third option

for a long time ive been thinking about toran magic as like, a balance and an energy thing (because i like that stuff lol) they cannot create something from nothing, only change things. they couldnt summon a fire, but they could change a piece of wood to fire and start a campfire, or those more advanced could even change the air into fire. but honestly it's left me a bit unsatisfied. like how does that explain the tora-del highway? hELL tora itself? what happened to the marble that got carved away? also how can that mountain have been so perfect there was no cracks or seams?? or did they carve those bits out lol. questions for another day.

anyway i was thinking about how hobbies are good for you, you dont have to be good at something but it's good to do stuff for fun and when you do crafts you get a cool thing at the end of it that you made. but it's also like skills you can develop? and i wondered what if weaving is a starter skill that they learn, some of them at least. maybe there are different activities, and they do the one that speaks to them the most. there were other types of artisans in tora, just not as talked about (i guess they're robes are pretty iconic so it's easy for people to go wow robes wow weavers who made fabric for the robes so soft) like i distinctly remember barda remarking about how tora was untouched and why bandits wouldn't have stolen the carved box that ended up holding the auto-reply letters from the palace.

so what im thinking is that maybe this builds a foundation to help torans visualise and perform their magic?

it actually solves a problem ive had in my headcanons i feel like ive got seven eyes open rn 😂😂 but in relation to del culture and traditions, i've been thinking about there being a physical and spiritual realm of course, and maybe it's the comfort of threes but it felt like something was missing.

i dont know what to call it yet, but im thinking the third thing is like the glue, it connects all things, it's in everything. it's like a third realm but also more of like a medium maybe? kind of sappy but we can just call this the magical realm for now. i actually used to think of toran magic as being like a subset of the greater deltora magic, but now im thinking it's more like torans are more receptive to the magic realm, as del are to the spiritual, and the ralads to the physical; theyre the experts in these things, which is why unified deltora is important 😂; likewise dread gnomes specialise in gems, jalis in combat, mere in cunning, plains in hope perhaps? literally never thought about it quite like this so maybe i will process it different later and designate different specialties.

so when the torans are young, they learn a craft and these skills help them sort of "tap into" the magical realm. so in the case i first thought of, when a toran weaver starts to see and interact with the magical realm, the easiest way for them to engage with it would be to think of it as weaving. they might see the magical realm as threads that connect everything, and weave things together to get what they want. a potter might see it as a malleable mass and sculpt what they want. a carpenter might see it as something to carve, something to break and put together.

the magical realm is not a concrete thing at all, up to interpretation, perhaps a unique experience to anyone who could glimpse in; don't strictly have to be toran, but they are perhaps naturally receptive to it or it could even be entirely a knowledge thing and that they are taught about it more; someone like verity who had her eyes opened to this realm, and learned to interact with it on instinct. does open questions to what the hell is up with the plains lmao but i think thats another post.

sorry about all the "i'll tell you in another post" i was attempting to stay on track 😂😂 also there's a 90% chance im gonna forget to come back and write about them so if anyone is dying to know feel free to send me an ask or something???

also if you want to know more about these OCs let me know 👀 i can find an ask game or something maybe. it's a case of i know a lot but will forget it all if asked to speak freely, i need specific questions. i have also developed the first four a bit more, but the last three are not without character so they can still be included. maybe it will be a group effort and they will have Background.

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mars101 · 7 months

Text

Insomnia

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☆ PAIRING = ex!seonghwa x ex!reader

☆ GENRE = second chances, ex's to ???

☆ WARNINGS = slight angst, talks of miscommunication, mentions of food, they fall down a hill (😭), the pov confusing and idk either

☆ WORD COUNT = 4.8k

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★ SYNOPSIS = communication or the lack of was the reason that brought you and seonghwa apart, your friends hope that a single conversation in a locked room will bring you two back together.

★ RELEASE DATE = 10/09/23

★ SONG INSPO = insomnia -> yukika

★ AUTHOR'S NOTE = im finally done with this damn oneshot, i cant omg. months of quitting and regaining my inspiration finally payed off… ok pls have fun reading, sunny's an oc btw ok antyways happy reads !! <33

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Act 1: Our Present

"I know you two were once in love."

"So where's the place?"

Mumbles are heard through the phone as Hongjoong starts to walk towards the window. "Turn your stereo down and maybe you'll finally hear me. Are you sure you're actually here?" his words are stretched out as he cranes his neck to look out into the street. The gps on your phone continues to say one minute away, you roll your eyes as it's been saying that for the last four minutes.

"Y/n. There's three cars outside alright?-" 'Okay" "We are the third house from the top of the hill-" "Why so high?" "And then Wooyoung and... oh wait.. Wooyoung and Seonghwa should be outside."

The car goes silent as now the only thing you hear is the soft rumbling of the car and the faint sounds of the music you turned down earlier. I mean you knew you were going to see him eventually but you didn't think it'll be this soon.

"Do you want me to make an excuse for him to come inside?"

Hongjoong's question brought you out of your silence, "No no, I mean it's been a year now, I should be alright." Keyword: "Should". It seems that after he said that, the house your friends had rented popped into view as you see the two mentioned.

"Oh is that you-" "Okay bye." You hang up on Hongjoong as Wooyoung starts to wave at you in the car, for someone who drove for two hours he looks far too cheerful. To his right was him. The smile that kept you up at night plastered on his face as you two kept the eye contact for longer than the eye contact for exes should be.

"Y/n noona!, lower the window!!"

"Wooyoung, you don't need to yell when you are right outside the window" said boy instantly leans into the car once the window is fully rolled down, already making himself comfortable. "So what? I just wanted to talk to you, it's been too longgg" he was dragging out his words as his bottom lip poked out.

You poked his forehead as you gestured him to move away, "Woo, I was at your birthday party two months ago. Now move it's cold, some people want to go inside." Wooyoung let you turn your car off as he went to the trunk of your car to help you bring stuff in. (it was only three things)

As you stepped out of your car you heard another set of footsteps come near you. The breath gets caught in your throat as you already know who's going to be behind you. The soft and clean scent still follows him after a year, oh how much you missed it.

"Do you need any help?" The sparkle in his eyes as he looks down at you has you wondering if this is real or a dream. Even at Wooyoung's birthday you were having a hard time even looking at him from across the room, but now that he's right in front of you it's making you feel as if every single emotion you've once felt with him is coming back like like a storm.

"Oh, I- Uh- I think-" "Hyung, I left the heavy things for you" Wooyoung makes eye-contact with you and he sends a wink your way. As you turn back to Seonghwa you notice he's looking at your necklace. His necklace that he gave you for your first anniversary. "Well uh, I think you can help me with the bag then."

The first few steps you two took to the trunk of your car was so awkward as you both didn't know what to say. "So, how have you been? I would've talked to you before at Wooyoung's party but I was too scared honestly", "You? Scared?" You couldn't help but to stare at him as a small smirk grew on his face. "Wait, I wouldn't say scared then, maybe just nervous,"

As he handed you your smaller bag and pulled out the bigger bag you also noticed something. A watch. The watch you gave him on that same anniversary.

knock knock knock

"Oh god, what are the kids doing up there.." You follow the direction of his eyes which is where the knocks came from as you see the 99's now scolding San for knocking at the window. "I think we should go inside now, Wooyoung started to eat your snacks." His pointed finger leads to Wooyoung inside flailing the bag of chips around as he walks in a circle around the poor boy.

The place they rented was big, but it felt full with the light music that was playing from Jongho's speaker and the sounds of yelling from the dining area.

You feel Seonghwa take your bag from your shoulder as his warm hand lingers just a bit longer than needed. "Y/n, I'll bring this to your room. Ah, Joong told you that you're rooming with Sunny right?" You nod remembering that it was actually said girl who texted you after months, excited that the two of you will be sharing a room.

"Yeah yeah. I'll be over there greeting everyone so.." The words trail away as it becomes silent again but the man in front of you keeps his smile as he turns you around pushing you lightly towards where everyone is.

The noise becomes louder as you step into the room, only Hongjoong and Jongho seems to notice you as the rest excluding Yeosang and Sunny are somewhere else.

"Hey hey!" The younger of the two raises his hand as a greeting as you give the other a hug. "Hi to our Jongho~ and bye to this loser over here", "Loser?? Did you forget who won the race to the rest station?", "Race??? You only said that after you got there!"

Out of all the people here (there's only 10 including you) you’ve known these two the longest. Meeting both Hongjoong and Jongho in the gym class that included each grade during high school. After beating the two in the class run, races for literally anything has become apart of your friendship.

“Alright alright we already have one argument going on we don’t need another…Noona you were the latest to arrive here though..” A smack on the boy’s shoulder followed with a chuckle from him made you realize. Why are those four still arguing?

“What are they talking about?” As you pushed yourself up onto the counter the two had been sitting on Hongjoong puts his arm around your shoulders slightly shaking you. “How San ruined the moment you and Seonghwa had out there” “M-moment, we were just- he was just helping me with my bags.”

He turned his head to Jongho who’s shaking his head in disagreement with the other, “Hyung. That is not a “moment” the two couldn’t even hold eye contact for that long.” “Exactly why it was a moment. The two were so shy after seeing each other they couldn’t look into each other’s shining eyes.” He turns to you teasingly batting his eyelashes.

You push him off you as the three of you are left with smiles on your faces, then eye-contact is shared with the boy who has been scolded for the last 5 minutes. A yelp is let out from him as he finally sees you entered the room. “Ahhh, when did you get in here???”

The three boys freeze then look at where San was looking at. As you wave to them Mingi seems to be startled too when he flinched grabbing onto Yunho's arm for support. “Y/n noona!! It's so nice to see you again!” Yunho said shaking Mingi's arm off heading towards you for a hug.

“I was so worried that you wouldn't come this year, I remember that one year where you didn't come and- Oh, did you hear about what I said about Seonghwa hyung earlier?” His face fell in realization that you were there for most of their banter.

“Oh come on, you know I always used to block out your petty arguements.” he let out a breath as you lightly punched his shoulder. “Noona it's good that you didn't hear what Yunho said because he was always there when Seonghwa-”

Mingi's mouth was covered with a slap by Wooyoung who started to drag the poor boy out of the room. “Oh hey, where's Yeosang? I think we should go look for him, right Mingi? Okay see you guys later”

Silence was shared with you five still in the room until San broke it, “That guy needs to work on his exits.”

As they now lead into a more civilized conversation you head out of the room to where you will be staying. When you enter the room you see Sunny laying on her bed with a half cleared out suitcase on the floor.

“Y/n!!!” The bright girl practically jumps up from the bed to engulf you in a warm hug. “Sunnyyy we were talking not that long ago” the smile on you face being heard as the girl was always so nice to you.

“Hon. I think a month is a long time ago, are you feeling alright here?” She pulls away from the hug slightly keeping her arms around you. “Because like.. you know who is here..”

“Sunny. You can say his name you know? And you were always closer to him than you were with me” the two of you then sit on the bed you were going to be sleeping on.

Her hands are soft as they caress your own, “Yeah I know but..” The breath she takes in makes you worried about her next words.

“Look, I'm not sure what happened to the two of you. But I know that you were once in love, love is something hard to get rid of once its happened and so I hope you'll be comfortable here.”

Act 2: Our Past

"I just reached for you without thinking,"

The next day you all were headed to the ski resort which was near the place you guys had rented out. The 10 of you were split into cars with Seonghwa and Hongjoong being the designated drivers for the 2 cars. During the car ride there, which was only twenty minutes, the two sitting next to you were Sunny and Yeosang. Next to Hongjoong in the front of the car was Jongho who claimed the seat by "falling asleep" as soon as he hit the chair.

"Soooo, have you been dating recently?" the girl to your right says as you pick your head off the window. "Not really," "Why?", Yeosang then pokes his head out from his spot next to Sunny as the two now look at you as if they're scheming something. Hongjoong looks back through the mirror as his eyebrows furrow at the two, "Why are you two so-", "Noona's been single for too long" Jongho cuts him off as he talks in a sleepy voice.

"Jongho you're awake?" Sunny leans her head to the front trying to see him. "I'm sleep talking."

Before Sunny can react to his statement Yeosang puts his arm in front of her to pull her back as he tells you, "Noona, it's been too long since we've talked to you so we just want to catch up!". As he says that, Sunny leans on you making herself comfortable on your shoulder, "Yeah hon, a lot can happen in 10 months."

"But then again nothing can happen in 10 months too," you lay your head on hers as Hongjoong starts to pull the car into the place. "It's been hard finding someone new, because these days no one is... what's the word..? Uhhh-"

knock knock knock

The knocks on the window startle you as both you and Sunny jump. "AH JUNG WOOYOUNG!" He waves behind the window as everyone else starts to exit the car. Wooyoung opens the door for you and Sunny acting like he didn't just startle the two of you.

As Sunny starts to chase him like they're kids again, you head over to where a majority of your friends are. "Ah, Y/n noona, what do you think?" Yunho asks as he bumps his arm on your side. "Do we eat first or should we go and snowboard?"

"Eat? But we just ate breakfast earlier?-" , "Guys, you see that! That's why we should go snowboard first!" You anticipate the upcoming debate between the group as you look around for where the usual peacemakers are.

Both Seonghwa and Hongjoong are taking pictures by the entrance as you decide to walk towards them. Seonghwa watches your every move towards them as a smile grows on his face, "Seonghwa!! Good smile, this picture will turn out perfect"

By the time you reach them Hongjoong is on the ground getting the perfect angle and Seonghwa waves you over to come next to him. Hongjoong notices this and turns his head, "Oh Y/n join the picture, I just got the perfect angle"

The man on the floor makes you feel as if you're on the cover of Vogue with the way he seems to snap a pic every split second. The blinding flash from his phone is as bright as the white snow everywhere. "Alright alright, you took a lot of pictures already." Next to you Seonghwa brings up a hand to block your eyes from the light.

"Ah wait wait. Just one more..?"

You held the hand in front of your view bringing it down to look at your friend but something behind him takes your attention. "Oh not again.."

The three of you looked at each other before you went over to the booming crowd of your friends. Their voices carrying through-out the entrance (which you're all still in by the way).

"No! I'm telling you, eating first is better before skiing!!"

"Wooyoung-ah I love you but no-"

"Ah ah kids be quiet. What do you guys think?"

Seonghwa looked at you as you shrugged at him gesturing him to just answer, "uhh I think we should just go ski or snowboard first because we already ate earlier."

"Wow of course the two love birds say the same thing."

...

....

Sunny....

The once noisy group of friends were now silent as everyone stared at Sunny who now seemed to realize what she said. In a panic she bursts out in a laugh at the awkwardness that she created, the others joined in slowly as they look around for something more interesting.

Hongjoong, who was deep in thought the whole time broke the awkwardness, "Why don't we just split up? The ones who want to eat go eat first and the others go skiing and snowboarding first." Murmurs of agreement went around as some felt embarrassed because of the simple solution.

"Okay then byebye~~" Sunny was the first to head inside the building to eat dragging Hongjoong with her. You felt something (or someone) get pulled away from your hands as Jongho put himself between you and Seonghwa, "You young people are so cute holding hands"

A smack on both of his shoulders from the two of you came after his comment with the tall duo snickering at the side. The three of them went on forward into the place as you and Seonghwa were left side by side.

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"Did you ever want to see what'll happen if you fall off this swing?"

"Ask another stupid question and I'll push you off your seat."

Your foot that isn't connected to the snowboard you rented knocked into the boy's foot next to you. Jongho was seated in between you and Seonghwa, Mingi and Yunho were in the row in front of you guys and kept on turning around occasionally to wave at you three.

Behind the seat your arm and Seonghwa's kept on bumping into each other. In a way, they were like magnets wanting to stay together. "Oh my what is this?"

The younger one put the two of your arms together as he then layed on it, "My arm rests are back," His comment made the two of you scoff but the proud expression on his face was too cute to make you mad.

Seonghwa made eye contact with you before the two of you made a silent agreement. "Oh is the baby happy??" Seonghwa ruffled the boy's hair as you pinched his cheek, "Aww, our baby is so so happy"

"Alright alright, I'll get off," his pouted look made you lean him onto your shoulder. Another wave was sent towards Mingi who turned around again as a squeeze was felt from Seonghwa's hand which was still on your arm.

Jongho let out an exaggerated sigh as you locked eyes with Seonghwa, "Honestly.. I missed this," he mumbled into your shoulder. "Missed what?"

"Well, this. I missed when you two would act like my parents." you used your other hand to pat his head while your eyes stayed locked on Seonghwa's. "I missed it too Jong."

The eye contact was broken as you heard a loud laugh from Yunho after it seemed Mingi fell forward when getting off his seat. "Man I hate this part the most." With a grunt you jumped off the slow swing with the other two following.

While pushing yourselfs forward Jongho proposed an idea. "Let's have a race down the slope," Yunho was the first to answer with a nudge of his arm, "Okay~ I'm in!"

Mingi puts his arms around the two boys pushing his head on theirs, "Loser pays for food later, right?", "Of course loser pays!," your voice is a bit muffled as you're leaned over with your hand on Seonghwa for support as you put your other foot in the board.

"You guys can do your race and I'll just pay later."

"Oh, hyung why? Is it because you're the only one who picked skiing?"

"What? No, I'm just too slow so-"

The things that happened next were so quick that you could miss it if you weren't paying attention. And you were definitely not focused on the conversation happening.

“Ayyy Seonghwa hyung that doesn't matter, you can still— OH NO!” Jongho paired his words with what was supposed to be a light punch on the shoulder but the boy forgot his own strength.

Your hand still holding onto Seonghwa was pulled as he fell from the impact of Jongho's “light” punch. A wave of profanities escaped your mouth as the two of you rolled down the hill. The male wrapped his arms around you tightly as he repeatedly apologized while keeping a protective hand behind your head.

Luckily your fall stopped before you made the halfway mark of the hill. As you got off of Seonghwa and sat up the words that were going to come out of your mouth halted as his hand slowly ruffled the snow out of your hair.

“Are you okay?” his question snapped you out of your trance as you slapped his hand away, “Of course I'm not.. you didn't need to drag me down with you…” Despite the harsh slap from you he continued to help brush the snow off you.

You let him as the silence engulfed the two of you again, but this time it felt comfortable. The sounds of your breathing was all you heard as you stared at the man in front of you. His features are still as beautiful as they were the last time you admired him.

As his hand went from your hair to your cheek, the two of you locked eyes. “W-why did you pull me down with you..?” The intense eye contact made you nervous as the two of you slowly leaned in.

His nose was eventually touching yours and his warm breath which contrasted the cold air around you radiated on your lips. Before the small gap was closed between you he used his other hand to hold yours as he answered your question.

“I just reached for you without thinking..”

Act 3: Our Future

“More like too late.”

"So..?"

"So what?"

“Oh come on, you think I wouldn't notice when two of my best friends all of a sudden become awkward and nervous with each other, well.. again.”

You and Hongjoong were in the small office that the rented house had, it was late and after the ski resort him and Sunny noticed your mood changes. The couch you two were sitting on was small, meaning there was no space between you two during the conversation.

“Jongho pushed Seonghwa and he dragged me with him down the hill.”

The couch started to shake a little as the man next to you tried to hold in his laughter. Eventually his shakes became giggles and giggles became a full on cackle.

“Are you done yet?”

“No of course not, that's hilarious,”

His laughter continued for a bit until he finally calmed down, manually breathing in and out to control himself before he loses his composure again.

“Alright okay, is that it? I mean falling down a hill together can be embarassing..”

“We kissed.”

The slow fade from a smile to a shocked expression on Hongjoong's face almost scared you with how his whole body melted as his hand even grabbbed onto you for support.

He shook his head to get his thoughts back together as you started to get nervous.

“Well it wasn't really a kiss kiss though, it was only a few seconds because I heard the others coming down the hill after us and-”

“OH MY GOD.”

Your rambling was cut off as Hongjoong now started to freak out, “YOU KISSED?? HOW? WHY? WHAT?”

“Joong. The kiss was probably an in the moment action. It probably meant nothing to him.”

Your voice drifted off as you unknowingly held onto your necklace. Hongjoong notices this and recognizes the necklace that Seonghwa gave you.

“But it meant something to you didn’t it?” he took your silence as an answer as he asked another question, “You still love him don’t you?”

“Of course I still do, we were together for over two years and known each other for longer but our relationship ended in such a regretful way.”

Just as Hongjoong’s hand was about to comfort your shoulder there was a knock at the door. Sunny’s head poked through the door as she smiled at you and gestured for Hongjoong to come out the room, “Oh, I’ll be back Y/n.” when Hongjoong left the room another person was pushed into the room.

The door behind Seonghwa was slammed shut as he was in panic because of the forceful entrance. You watched in confusion as he tries to jiggle the door knob that is being held on the outside by Sunny. Seonghwa gives up with a sigh and turns to you, eyes full of longing as are yours too.

“Hi.”

…..

The room was filled with silence, the only thing heard was the sounds of your breaths. Seonghwa walked closer and sat right next to you. His scent engulfs you as there’s little space between you two. When you turn to look at him, he’s already looking at you.

“I’m sorry about that kiss earlier. I think I just.. missed us.”

You can’t help but to stay silent after his statement, your head was now lowered as your eyes shut.

“Y/n.. why’d you leave me?

“Because you left me first.”

The words were barely audible as they came out of your mouth, but you know he heard it as Seonghwa looked at you with a mixture of sadness and regret in his eyes, and you felt your heart ache at the sight. For a moment, it was as if you were transported back in time to the day when everything ended between you two.

Seonghwa's voice wavered slightly as he spoke, his confusion evident. "Left you? What? It... it was you who ended things between us, Y/n."

“Seonghwa.. did you not realize how much you distanced yourself from me? The last few weeks of our relationship was filled of you practically ignoring me at some points.” Seonghwa's eyes were glimmering in confusion and guilt.

Your gaze softened, and you let out a sigh, leaning back against the couch. The words seemed to hang in the air, a mix of memories and emotions swirling around you both. "I guess we remember our last months together differently..."

Seonghwa kept his eyes on you even when the eye contact was broken as his words were filled with sincerity. “Y/n, I love you. But I was second-guessing myself and thinking I was too clingy and too pushy with you. I was distancing myself to make you less uncomfortable.”

“Why didn't you just talk to me..? Even when I broke up with you, you could have at least said something” You feel your voice waver as it starts to get hard to get words out of your mouth.

“I just wanted what you wanted..”

“But all I wanted was you.”

As those words leave your lips, you feel a few tears run down your face. At the sight of them Seonghwa lets his own tears run free too, he brings his hands to your face to wipe them away and at his touch you break down on him.

He pulls you into a hug as your tears start to soak his t-shirt and his own get lost in your hair. Your arms wrap around him, longing for this feeling again for months. “I never wanted to leave you hwa..” Seonghwa plants a small peck on the top of your head, “I know y/n, I know darling..”

“I should've just talked to you.. I don't know why but I was so scared, I didn't want to lose you. But turns out not even saying something made us break up anyways…” You feel Seonghwa’s hand caress your back while he talks which makes you melt into his touch.

“I'm sorry hwa, I still love you. Never stopped..” You stay quiet after saying that, wanting to bask in the feeling of being close to him again. In a cold room there's the embers of the flame growing again between the two of you.

“Y/n… would you let me take you out again after this trip? On a date.. we can wait a few more days of talking again before you say—”

“I'll go on a date with you Seonghwa and we’ll hold hands and hug and kiss and-” Before you can finish your sentence he pecks your lips, “Too soon?” Seonghwa looks into your eyes with stars in his.

The tears in your eyes from earlier faded away as the grin on your face replaced them. Your hands go to rest on his cheeks as they start to glow a pretty pink. Your noses start to tickle each other as you pull him closer, breath feathering on each others lips.

“More like too late.”

★☆★ AUTHOR'S GOODBYE = AND THE CROWD GOES WILD!!! i took so long to write this one-shot that i literally got into and out of a relationship twice… and omg i was supposed to finish this by January but its october now ;-; but anyways thank you for reading! YAYAYAY

☆★☆ TAG LIST = @loonaluvz @sanasour @boomhoon

#ateez x reader #ateez #ateez fluff #ateez angst #ateez oneshot #ateez fic #ateez au #seonghwa x reader #seonghwa ff #seonghwa fluff #seonghwa oneshot #seonghwa #RAHHHHHHHHHHH IM FINALLY DONE YAYAAY

86 notes · View notes

yeehawpim · 5 months

Note

HI UM i really admire you and your art and i was wondering --

so i really love the way you format your comics, its really straight-forward and lets the reader process every word with ease (which i think adds to the impact of the writing), and that one rue comic with the split colors for the parentheses... how do you do it without making it look so messy?? to bring up another example, the hide-and-seek comic- i love how subtle and genius the call back to hiding behind the door was, it blew my mind... i take a lot of inspiration from the way you format and lay out your comics but for some reason i cant wrap my head around how you do so much with so little (in reality this might just be the result of me wanting to add so many little details for others to find , while being conflicted on keeping it simple, and,,, AGH...) for context : im trying to make a comic about isolation, but i keep filling up the page because i want to add things - when really i know i should be keeping it simple... but other than removing unnecessary details, i want to know what else you do to make your comics so clean and simple yet it rips out the emotions from your heart and has you stare at it as it beats. like... i want that type of impact!! i want to affect others on such an intense level!! i want to induce emotions!!! but how?

(sorry this was long, HAHAHA i just want to drive my point home- again with the 'wanting to add a lot of stuff to prove a point' thing but i digress)

ok first of all that is a huge compliment and it means v much to me, thank you 😭🙏❤️❤️

tbh for me the answer of keeping things uncluttered is paying attention to spacing and eye direction. Spacing depends on timing, if you want an action to happen slowly for instance you can make the space between panels longer, or take more panels for someone to complete an action. There's tricks for directing your eye, if you ever read anyth about focal points (eg biggest contrast, triangular shapes pointing towards what's important), but really with comics I keep in mind you're reading left to right and top to bottom.

The ruehob comic is actually simpler than you think 😅 I already knew which text had to be on the left and right with august's text post. And after that the "lanes" were so narrow there weren't a lot of complicated things I could do, just make sure you still read left to right and saunter vaguely downwards.

when you talk about putting little details, that doesn't necessarily have to distract people. Like I honestly applaud you having the drive to do detailing. You just have to make sure your compositions allow for it. Like if you think about ghibli backgrounds, they're elaborate and beautiful af.

For smth about isolation, my first thought was that you can draw a person in a setting alone among a bunch of objects, for instance. If you keep the person small but surround them with a bunch of detailed objects, it could feel very lonely. Just make sure the person still stands out b/c they're what's important, so for example the background stuff is a less saturated colour, or the person is the least detailed thing on the page. I think that's the main thing, you just have to make sure the things important to what you're saying stand out. Clarity is rlly half the battle when I'm laying things out haha

In school our teacher called this "killing your babies" because it sucks when you work hard on a cool drawing and it just doesn't work out😂This also still happens to me, it's actually partly why I keep things simple so I can work fast and throw out less

Here is a timestamp from supereyepatchwolf's video about Chainsaw Man, which has some of the coolest fuckin layouts

He's got other stuff that talks about manga and how eye direction can work and what cool stuff has been done. Off the top of my head his vid about one piece and his vid about gantz have helped me understand how to cause Emotions. Also I think he has one about Junji Ito that specifically talks about how details can make you scared, if you're into that 😂

hope this helps!

#q&a

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alex-procrastinates · 2 months

Text

my thoughts on the magic potion

HELLO i am so sorry i havent done any finished art in ages. school is kicking my ass and probably will continue to kick my ass for a while yet, but i promise i am working on things! and i am very excited to get them finished! im just swamped with homework and kinda suck at time management lol

but in the meantime, i have a 17 page google doc where i put all my asterix headcanons when i think of them, so i thought i would share my ideas about how the magic potion works :D

The potion is said to increase someone’s strength tenfold. That means it only builds on the strength they already have.

This means the potion will work differently for different people, based on their original level of strength.

For most people, they have about the same average strength, so the potion will appear to have the same effect on them. This is also due to the fact that the potion is simply so powerful that everyone who drinks it is insanely strong relative to non-potion drinkers. However, in some cases, the differences are noticeable.

For example, Fulliautomatix would have more brute strength than, say, Cacofonix, when on the potion. Or Asterix would be able to run faster than Geriatrix when on the potion.

The potion builds on strengths the person already has - for Asterix, it makes him extremely fast, as he is already agile and a fast runner without it. For Cacofonix, it allows his voice to create more powerful soundwaves, which can even have physical effects.

(Edit: As pointed out by @elkaos, this actually conflicts with some of the books, where the potion is shown to have the same effect on everyone, and that's relevant to the plot in some cases. I did sort of know this, but it slipped my mind somewhat while I was writing this post. So I guess I'll have to retcon either this idea or the events of books 3 and 12 from my headcanon. These headcanons are based on my own interpretation of Asterix, which is inspired by a lot of fanfics and other creators' ideas as well as the books. Personally I find the idea of the potion's effects varying from person to person more logical, as it's described as multiplying the drinker's strength tenfold. Although maybe the effect being the same has something to do with how it was developed? I've seen a fic where the secret ingredient of the potion is Vercingetorix's ashes - maybe it's something like that where the essence of a person is used in the potion and its effect is equivalent to that person's strength multiplied tenfold.)

The potion also increases a person’s durability - their bones, ligaments, tendons, organs and muscles are stronger and more resistant to damage. This is necessary to make sure that they don’t injure themselves by doing things like punching solid rock.

Even if they do get injured, which can happen when they are faced with sharp blades, the potion also fills their system with adrenaline, which means they usually don’t feel and are not really affected by most injuries until after the potion wears off.

The potion also increases the drinker’s stamina and speed, although this also varies depending on the drinker’s non-potion-enhanced abilities.

Obelix is a special case. But why exactly did drinking a whole cauldron of potion make it have a permanent effect on him? The potion’s effects can’t be stacked by drinking more potion while you’re already under the effects.

I suppose the quantity of potion does matter when determining how long the effects will last - the more potion is flowing through the drinker’s bloodstream, the longer it will take to dilute enough to not have an effect anymore.

Wait. If the potion flows through the drinker’s bloodstream, then how does it have an immediate effect? Digesting it would take at least a few hours.

I guess it might have some magical property that lets it sort of phase into any blood vessels it encounters? So maybe it just radiates out from the stomach, gets to the heart really quickly and starts being pumped around the body almost immediately.

So if Obelix drinks, like, his entire body weight in potion, it’s probably going to last long enough in a large enough quantity to spread and be infused into practically every part of his body, so that then his bone marrow actually starts to make potion-infused blood.

Therefore, every cell that blood flows to, which is basically every cell in his body, is enhanced by the potion, so it becomes an actual part of his biological composition. His blood, muscles, organs, bone marrow, fat, saliva, even his stomach acid is infused with magic potion. The only things that aren’t are his hair and nails.

This is why the permanent effects of the potion are so important to his survival. There would have been a couple of years where they could have gotten it to wear off, but that would probably have involved bloodletting or something, and obviously they’re not going to do that to a six-year-old kid. It doesn’t cause him any adverse effects, anyway, so it’s not something that needs to be reversed. He’ll just have to learn to control his strength.

He wasn’t the strongest before he fell into the potion, but because of how the potion became an actual part of his muscle tissue, he was still able to grow his muscles like a normal person would - just with much heavier weights, like menhirs. Which he has probably been lifting and carrying nearly every day since about his mid-teens. Also because the potion is part of his bone marrow and the blood his body makes is naturally infused with the potion, it creates a sort of positive feedback loop where the effects of the potion, and therefore his strength, keep increasing. This is why he seems to be stronger than the other villagers on the potion, and why his feats of strength increase in magnitude across the series, until Chariot Race when he’s able to catch the huge lump of volcanic rock that explodes out of Mt Vesuvius.

The potion also increased his durability to a very high level. His bones are as hard as granite, and his skin is also quite thick and resistant to cuts. He can still get hurt, but it takes a lot, and almost never happens. This is also why he is so mobile and flexible despite being obese.

Obelix is a bit of an extreme case, but for everyone who drinks the potion regularly (mostly just Asterix and maybe some of the other warriors, hunters or guards), it speeds up their metabolism considerably in order to provide them with the large quantities of energy they need to function while on the potion. This is how Asterix is able to eat most of a boar nearly twice his size. (Although that was pushing it and he usually doesn’t need that much energy.)

The potion does not actively heal wounds except in the very short term, when it can exacerbate the effect of adrenaline to such an extent that it will completely heal minor to moderately serious wounds if taken within about a minute after sustaining the injury. However, it does give the body more energy, enabling it to heal faster. It also helps the immune system fight infection and the body to remake lost blood.

It won’t cure concussions, but it does get rid of them faster and reduces long-term damage. (This is how Asterix can have had no less than six concussions in the space of a few years and not feel any lasting effects.)

Chronic illnesses and fatigue can be treated, but not cured by the potion. It unfortunately doesn't help with nerve pain, because there's no wound for it to help heal or inflammation/ bacteria/ etc. for it to fight.

Over time, this will cause regular potion drinkers to have stronger immune systems and heal more quickly. (Cacofonix still gets sick easily, but without the potion he’d probably have been dealing with asthma or an autoimmune disease. Obelix still gets hay fever in spring, but I guess maybe the potion doesn’t help with allergies. He does sometimes get mild colds and stuff, but the potion protects him from a lot of more serious diseases.)

The potion also increases a drinker’s core body temperature slightly and makes it easier to maintain, which is how all the Gauls can walk around in the snow either in sleeveless tops or just straight up shirtless, with only maybe a scarf or gloves to keep them warm. This effect also lingers over time if you drink the potion regularly. (Or if you’re Obelix. He’s like a walking heater.)

In Asterix the Gaul, we see the Gauls take potion regularly and use their strength for everyday tasks. This is because they used to take potion in shifts, so that some people would always be ready to go fight the Romans if they attacked. Doing chores while on the potion was just an added convenience. (As I speculated earlier, the potion lasts longer if you drink more of it, so maybe they used to drink more potion with each dose to make it last longer - maybe half or even a full day.)

This seemed like a great strategy until one day, a new centurion decided to attack the village at an unexpected time. The people who were on the potion went out to fight, but Asterix's potion wore off mid-battle. Not realising in time, he got into a fight with the centurion and ended up getting pretty badly hurt. (Inspired by this post - I came up with this idea while I was thinking about what might have happened in that scenario)

After that, they decided to just take the potion when needed to prevent something like it happening again. This also enabled Getafix to spend more time experimenting with new potions because he wasn’t making the strength potion every day.

so yeah! that's all i got. thanks so much if you read this whole thing. hopefully i'll have time to finish something else soon :D

#asterix #asterix headcanons #headcanons #alex's rambles

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jinlias · 10 months

Text

— home can be a person | ryujin

a/n: this was inspired on a poem that really did a number on me, but then i fell in love with the idea i was creating so i might turn this into an au! of course, there’s no one else i can picture but her. this is a bit long, so sit tight.

<3 college club leader! reader. vet school! students ryujin and reader

what a strange home.

no white picket fence, but it does have two brown eyes

you never understood how people could fall for someone’s eyes. sure, some people had incredibly beautiful eyes, but that was about it. no other pair of orbs had ever captured your attention but hers.

they’re warm, welcoming and so understanding. you had a feeling they would stick around for longer since the moment you stumbled upon them.

“hello! i’m y/n. the leader of the organization. just to let you know there is no pressure to sign up. but im here to help if you have any questions” you had already started talking as soon as you felt the presence, you hadn’t bothered to look up from the pamphlets you were purposely scattering to make presentable. and when you did, you regret having done it so late.

because there she was, bright, doe eyes paying all the attention to you as you speak.. and then she nods and gives you the most delicate smile you’ve ever seen. you are mesmerized.

she proceeds to run her eyes across the many photos and informational pamphlets before grabbing one and skimming through it.

“how exactly does this work? we just rescue animals and help them survive?”

“well, im glad you asked” you had to gulp once out of your trance and nod, opening one of the white binders close to you. “do you just like animals or are you majoring in something close?”

“both” she smiles softly, she looks like she’s dying to speak of it, like she’s truly passionate about her career choice. “im in my first year of vet school, you?”

“sophomore” the warm smile you send back has her ears turning hot. “okay, so. i don’t know how far you’ve been oriented, but we have a shelter just out of campus. it belongs to us, but that way visitors won’t have to come over and can just focus on finding the right companion”

you keep showing her photos of maps and different angles of the shelter, both inside and out. when you look up, she’s already admiring you, but she nods to let you know she’s still listening.

“right, on campus we have a clinic, anyone from freshman to seniors can join our club and in said clinic we treat the animals we rescue, once they’re healthy and happy, we transfer them to the shelter”

“wow” she chuckles in awe, covering her mouth and swallowing hard as her eyes water at all the before and after pictures.

“yeah” you chuckle with her, enjoying the view. “we also gather a few times a month to hold fundraisers and adoption centers for both alumni’s and not…” you lean over the table and put a hand on your mouth as if to tell her a secret “you’d be surprised how many ra’s turn a blind eye to students with pets”

her eyes widen as she nods slowly.

“so, have i caught your interest…” you let her finish the sentence for you

“ryujin” she smiles again. “and yes. you have. where do i sign up?”

“here you go” you hand her a sheet and a pen “ryujin, has a nice roll to the tongue.”

“thanks, apparently it means strength and nobleness” she smiles as she finishes writing her full name and phone number (per the sheet’s request) “so, y/n. just a sophomore and you’re already the leader. care to discuss how you pulled that off over coffee?”

it’s your turn to get shy and hot. both your ears and cheeks as your smile goes to an o shape and back to a smile. “i don’t mean to be a buzzkill, but i have to be here until five?”

“that’s okay, i have a class at three, maybe i can help you clean up when i’m done and we can head from there?” she watches as you take half a second to think it over and nod.

“it’s a date”

no hardwood floors .. instead, a soft voice

“morning” you had given ryujin a spare to your dorm a few months ago, and every day since you were grateful for your decision, because most of the days she was able to come over a hour before her class and wake you. sometimes she would make you breakfast at her own dorm and bring it over, sometimes she would make right in your own kitchen. “come onnn we have animals to save”

you found it amusing how ryujin flipped your world entirely. you didn’t expect to die alone, you were just content with finishing your studies before focusing on the right person. but the idea of having someone to spend your life with, but they also adored you and looked at you like you put the stars in the sky felt blissful.

you chose to think your love for your career choice was what drove you to wake up so early every morning, but deep down you were aware her voice did most of the heavy lifting.

also, you never thought anyone could love your major more than you, until ryujin. you were so excited to see her everyday, even more so when it had to do with animals, she was so attentive and she really tried to look for any option that would cause them the less pain and anxiety.

like today, your team was scheduled to meet early in the morning and inspect an alley for sick kittens, according to the call you received a few days ago. you were never, ever prepared for what you encountered there though, countless kitties from all different breeds, in inhumane conditions.

“oh my god” ryujin’s voice cracked “c’mere baby, i’m gonna help you. i promise”

in her mission to get one cat’s attention, another also approached. but of course, ryujin offered her embrace to both. they were her responsibility now, just like the three little ones at your feet were yours.

ryujin stood by both of the kittens’ sides as they got all their vaccines, dewormed, spayed.. she sat with them and sometimes sang them to sleep, or she’d cuddle them, tell them about your days together.

and you just watched from afar, too inlove with her to do anything else, you knew from the way she spoke to them she would be home for them too.

no huge backyard,

but it has hands big enough to completely wrap around mine.

no one knew how hard it had been for you and ryujin other than you and ryujin. no one could put themselves in your shoes but each other. no one knew about the late nights you spend making flashcards or asking each other questions. the nights ryujin spent crying because her patients had spent another month at the shelter without any possible adopters. but it had the better moments, of course.

ryujin adopting byul and dallie, moving to your own shared apartment out of campus, meeting your families over the holidays. and just the many, many memories you made together as a couple.

so to have her waiting for you at the other end of the stage after you had just received your diploma brought you all that more peace than just finishing five years of hard work. the way she held your hand and telling you how amazing your speech was, about all the pictures she took while you were on stage. just the pride emanating from her body like a scent, or a vibe..

you were home.

#i am so excited for this au #itzy imagine #itzy x reader #itzy imagines #itzy x you #ryujin imagine #ryujin imagines #ryujin x you

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toothpastecanyon · 1 month

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Hi! I’d like to start with the fact that your writing is PHENOMENAL, the way every first chapter is designed to grab the readers attention, with a mystery or a cozy little opening, establishing where the character is in life and their motives, or a sneak peek at the problem the characters must overcome.

I’m really bad at articulating my thoughts, but ur characters are really well written and I’d like to make more fanart of them, but I’m not quite sure what they look like.

(The only fics of your la that i KNOW you wrote are Unto Dust, and The Comfort of Agony (both of which are really good btw, I also love how you write existing characters, and your portrayal of them(especially Lucy Ann))

Anyway, because there are so many interpretations of species used in TAU, I got a little mixed up on what the non-human characters look like.

Darceus- in Lucy Ann and the Lunch Bunch, there is a Kitsune named Felicity, who is described as “looking a kind of like a human, and kind of like a fox” which my interpretation of is shown below. I forgot that that isn’t typical for kitsune characters in tau (even though she’s the only one since yours) and drew her in a similar way. ( also, are there any distinctive features on her nieces?) btw the LION idea is phenomenal, also do you think she has a mane? They’re fun to draw.

June- how big is she? I assumed she was the size of a human based on her interactions, but then I realized she might be looking down of people because she can fly. But then I remembered that it says she walks around. So then I confused myself. Also, skin tone, hair color/texture, eyes?

Beatrice- SHE IS SO WELL WRITTEN I felt genuinely angry while reading her meeting with Lucy Ann (in a good way) and she seems like someone you would meet in real life, totally obnoxious! Also, I don’t really know how TAU elves usually look so, idk anything about her skin tone or hair or eyes.

Here are pictures of my doodles in case you want to take a look, try to ignore the paper texture please.

Also, an old picture of Felicity:

Sorry if any of this is worded weird, im not that good at talking, but could you please give a solid description of the major/cool characters in Unto Dust?

(And in case I didn’t say it before, the Comfort of Agony is SO WELL WRITTEN there is too much for me to say about it!)

Oh wow, this is all so kind of you to say! Thank you so much - I'm so glad to hear you enjoy my writing, and I love the sketches you've done! You already have a lot of great designs and the characters look super expressive!

It's really exciting to be asked more of what my characters look like and I'll give you the best description I can, but I do want to note I often don't have a clear idea of what my characters look like - I like that writing lets a reader come up with their own spins on what a character looks like! So while I'm adding my own interpretation of my characters here, if you have a different idea you think works better or just looks cooler to you, I say go for it!

I'll organise my thoughts by each character:

Darceus: I was definitely inspired by @feferipeixes' character Felicity to make a kitsune character! I really like the mane idea you have going in your sketches, and female lions do occasionally grow manes! I like the way you've drawn her formal attire, with the nine tails spread out behind her like a sort of cape! You really brought her to life!

I probably still imagine her with a fox's colouration - I liked the lion imagery to evoke the broader facial features and just overall stockier build than an average kitsune.

The nieces: They're probably both young adults of average height. I don't have a clear idea of what they look like, but it might be fun to draw them as a different type or species of fox - silver foxes look really pretty with distinctive markings! They probably have less tails than Darceus, maybe three or so.

June: I definitely had the idea of her being average sized - I think writing it from Lucy Ann's perspective makes her seem taller as a lot of characters have to look down on her (sorry Lucy Ann!). I really like the wings you drew for her! She's a middle-aged lady with a little grey in her red hair, and probably likes wearing a lot of running gear - gotta train for that 10K!

Beatrice: I really like the long ears you've given her, that looks super distinctive! The loose t-shirt is really good. I probably imagine her with more of a pear shaped build with dark brown eyes and hair. If she does magic like in her appearances with Noie I like to think it'd look a lot how Mod V's elf OC Florian does it.

Also I definitely am looking for Lucy Ann to start wearing a glove! I'm not sure whether it would be fun to have it be a red glove to match the rest of her outfit, or if it's black or some other clashing colour to illustrate how she sees it as something unwanted and forced upon her.

That's all I can think of, but if you'd like anything more specific I'd be more than happy to help! Thank you again for this ask and your awesome sketches - if you end up drawing anything else I'd really love to see it!

Have a great day! :D

#transcendence au #lucy ann #this made my day!#toothasks #beatrice delion #worldbuilding #Dinner Crew

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tehrogueva · 1 year

Text

Happy Birthday, Ink Sans (Audio Script)

So i was trying to get this recorded by today, but cant find the time so im gonna share what i wrote on the day and record it later just to have something to show for it!

Props to @0nem0retime and @celestial-scrapyard for the Prompt ideas

Ink sans - @comyet/@myebi

Error Sans - @loverofpiggies

Swap Sans - PopcornPrince/ AU Community

Dream Sans - @jokublog

Prompt: Methods, besides his scarf, Ink uses to remember things. Bonus points if he writes on a smearable surface and has to decode what he originally wrote. He’s having art block, and he forgets his birthday, but seeing his friends inspires him again?

Script below the cut

Ink: Oh, darn it. Why can't I think of what to draw. I hate when this happens. There has to be something, I just need an idea… hmm… Oh! My scarf! I'm sure something on here can give me some inspiration! Hmm, no, no, no idea what that says, hmm oh, what's this… birth… birthday? Wait, am I forgetting someone's birthday? What month is it? IS it Error's birthday! Oh, geese, I hope I didn't miss it. I should make him something! Yeah, that's it! Hmm, what would glitchy like? Hmm… He like undernovella… and chocolate… hmmmmm

Uhh, I got nothing… maybe I could just swing by underfell and steal him some chocolate. No, that's hard enough without getting caught. No, I should really make something. Hmm….

Dream: Hey Ink! There you are! Come on, you're going to be late for the party!

Ink: crap already! Ok, one sec, let me just doodle something real quick. And there, ok, let's go!

Error: I can't believe you convinced me to do this.

Blue: Oh come on, it's only one day, he’ll appreciate it.

Error: and why should I care again?

Blue: because you're my friend and I asked nicely. Plus you promised.

Error: *sigh,* ok, fine. I'll be nice to him. But only for today!

*Dream and Ink arrive*

Dream: where here! Now we can get started!

Ink: Error hey!

Error: hello, Ink

Ink: here, I made you this. I know it's just a dumb drawing, but it was really last minute. Hehe, Happy Birthday~

Error: Ink…

Ink: yeah…

Error: You idiot! My birthday was last week. Today is your birthday!

Ink: it is???

Blue: yeah! Of course, it is!

Dream: this party is for you, silly.

Ink: awwww guys….

Error: *sigh* here… happy birthday or what ever…

Ink: whats this… *gasp* new pens!!! Awww Glitchy you shouldn't have!

Error: dont say i never did anything nice for ya, and its only for today, got it!

Ink: thank you so much! I just wanna hug you!

Error: no…

Ink: aww come on just a little one.

Error: NO! You know how i am about physical contact!

Ink: just for a second, please. It is my birthday after all!

Error: uygh! Uhhh! Fine!

Ink: heheh!

Error: ok… seconds up… you can get off now…

Ink: just one more second…

Error:... get…. Offf…… NOW!

Ink: almost done….

Error: GOD DAMN IT INK!

Ink: ahahahha! Worth it!

Error: thats it! Your dead!

Ink: haha only if you can catcth me first glitchy!!

Error: oh you… GET BACK HERE!

Ink: uh oh…. Ahh~

Dream: should we do something?

Blue: no, just let them ware themselves out. Besides its fun to watch.

Dream: Blue…

Blue: what?

Dream: *sigh* lets just not let it get out of hand.

Blue: oh ok. But where is the fun in that.

Dream: Blue!

Blue: ok ok! Dont want to dust him on his birthday.

Ink: haha! So close! Almost got me! Woah! Little help here, guys!!

Error: oh no you dont!

Ink: ahhh!

#tehrogueva #adds to dub folder #add to dub folder #utmv #utmv head canons #Audio Prompt #Original Audio #my voice acting #Undertale Au #ink sans #error sans #underswap #swap sans #dream sans #ink sans birthday #4/15 #comyet

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dekusleftsock · 1 year

Text

Toga Himiko - To want a savior

When we think of Himiko, we often come to the conclusion that she is a girl of tragedy. Someone who has repeatedly been rejected by the society around her, and turning her into a “real villain”.

But have we stopped to think that Toga has already chosen to be saved? Let’s talk: the mind and choices to Himiko.

What is a hero?

Now, I’ve kinda talked about being a hero a lot. But I wanna ask the question, what does being a hero mean to Himiko?

Lets go back to our first introduction to Toga, why did she join the league?

Horikoshi often describes Stain as a “dark hero” or vigilante over an actual villain, making Himiko’s inspiration feel out of place (im not completely sure on this, I think he did? If I’m wrong sorry!! Working off of a vague memory I read of an interview). Stain has always had a motive, and that motive is to rid the world of “bad” and “corrupt” heroes. In stains belief system, a Hero is someone who is willing to sacrifice everything for the safety of others. Things like monetary pay or an egocentric Justice, things that Iida or Ochako have as reasons to be heroes at the beginning of mha, are villainess things in his mind. (Stain also questions the ideas and boundaries of what “true villainy” is because, to be honest, it’s a pretty relative term. It depends on your morals and ethics over anything else, and that kinda gets muddled and fuzzy the bigger the group. Also, are villains and criminals different? Like aoyama?)

So what does this mean for Himiko? Well, we don’t really know. We’re working off scraps, a vague idea of “being free”. Maybe she believes that fulfilling stains ideas will somehow bring this freedom, because she will only be around “true heroes”.

What we do know, is that she sees Izuku’s sacrifices with his beat up body, and Ochako’s impressive tenacity and empathy for others, and she adores it. She LOVES THAT SHIT. Of course, she could also just be attracted to Dekus blood or Ochakos life, but I think it’s more than that. Other than age, there’s no one in the league or general villains (that we know of) that she has developed these admirations or crushes on. She loves the league, but she certainly doesn’t admire them.

But she does admire Ochako and Izuku.

She “chose” two hero students specifically. Two students that have repeatedly proven themselves for their heroics. They are the ideal heroes in Stains eyes, because they repeatedly sacrifice.

Because Toga Himiko, would like to have someone who would sacrifice for her.

Do you want kill me too?

Himiko doesn’t hate heroes. She never has. Heroes have never been considered to her as a direct issue. Everyone else in the league was somehow done wrong by a hero, one way or another. Usually, this wrongness is then taken in as a vulnerability for someone else (like afo) to nurture into a festering hatred. Shigaraki and Dabi both experienced this, and spinner simply followed in Shigaraki’s footsteps after the (poorly written) fantasy racism that he experienced. (I refuse to just say racism, because it’s not at all an accurate portrayal of how racism works and it will continue to NEVER BE an accurate portrayal. Ever. I want to make that clear)

Himiko, however, has had an indirect grooming to some extent. This puts her in an interesting place of vulnerability; one that afo exploits and Ochako ignores.

Going all the way back to 289, this chapter encompasses two things: Himiko’s crush and Himiko’s hope.

Her crush, not understanding of what she’s saying or asking, is obviously confused by this inadvertent confession. Ochako doesn’t realize until 348’s “unrequited love” chapter what this whole scene meant to Himiko.

Because, not only is this her direct confession, but an inadvertent call for saving. Of course, Himiko’s idea of being saved by Ochako, and Ochako’s idea of saving Himiko, would be very contradictory.

But it’s still there.

This is Ochako’s chance.

And she BLEW IT!

And god, she knew it. She knows that’s what this is, that’s what this realization was.

Because Ochako is supposed to be the hero that makes other people smile, not to be the one smiling.

Her thinking of Himiko during her speech? That was Ochako realizing her call for help.

Thinking of Himiko after her confession to Izuku? She realized that it was, not only a call for help directed at Izuku, but that her previous interaction was a confession.

The real Himiko Toga

So, that begs the question hero, who is the real Himiko Toga?

I don’t think this is about not loving someone. Himiko does love people, she only wanted to “become” Jin when she desperately needed to be. Because Jin loved Shigaraki and Dabi, Jin loved Toga Himiko.

And that’s something that she can’t do right now. She can’t love shigaraki, she can’t love afo, she can’t even love dabi, the man who gifted her that vile of blood. She can’t even love herself because of it.

That is, if love is the only factor here.

She can still love Dabi or Shigaraki, she can still admire afo, but that doesn’t mean she admires their hatred or loves their destruction. Jin loved people, he loved the life he built in the league. Himiko admired that happiness, she loved and cared for him. Thats why she can use his quirk but no one else’s.

What if, she needs to both love and admire someone? What if she never loved Izuku, but admired his heroics, like Ochako?

The scene that ochako thinks of here is actually Himiko calling out Ochako directly on loving someone.

This is about their shared crush, but was that crush ever real? Did it ever even matter? Is it just about their first interaction, Ochako’s obsessive rumination over this one interaction? Is this a callback to “ever since I met you, I just couldn’t stop thinking about you”?

What if it’s all of those things? It’s not so far fetched to believe that Ochako needs to use her thoughts, her love, and her admiration to save Himiko.

Because this is Ochako and Himiko’s acceptance of their crushes, heartbreaks, and admirations. Admiration and love get so muddled over time. There is a difference, especially when that admiration only holds you back, like in Ochako’s case, like in Himiko’s case. But they’re still apart of the same concepts.

Himiko’s love also isn’t just romantic, it’s familial or platonic. She’s rough around the edges, but the Himiko that went to Ochako to see if she would be saved is still there. And that’s why she’s not letting her go anymore.

Because Himiko Toga, the real one, still wants to be saved.

#wooo!! first meta in how long????#this was just my best way of voicing my thoughts on 376 #I didn’t really agree with a lot that was going around about that chapter and I finally voiced it properly #anyway I think the only thing that chapter had to do with bkdk was the fact that Ochako isn’t involved with Izuku anymore #so like #the constant discussion over it in regards to bkdk feels like it’s being… overshadowed again #THEY ARE THEIR OWN STORY #mha analysis #togachako #togachako brainrot #togachaco #toga #himiko toga #toga himiko #toga x ochako #ochako uraraka #uraraka ochako #ochaco #bnha ochaco uraraka

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