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coral-melon · 5 months

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Hiya! I thought since i’ve never asked anyone before i would ask you! Could i get a match up? :3

My personality: (described best i can)

Im an ambivert, vv quiet and shy at first however when i get to know someone I’m very comfortable!! When i get excited about something i tend to talk louder by mistake, i am a massive people pleaser but i loveeee gift giving and just making stuff for people, i also do this thing where i end up watching the same shows on repeat but i never get sick of them.

Likes/dislikes:

i’m creative!! My artistic string suit is illustration :)) I play a lot of games however I’m terrible with fixing technology, i love baking!!! I love going and just being outside, and one of my favourite tv shows is ‘The walking dead’

I hate!!! Medical needles they are my worst irrational fear they just freak me out!!

Appearance:

(AFAB)

I’m 5’7, pale-ish (i don’t tan well =^=), brown hair with blue streaks at the front, i wear glasses.

I wear alternative-ish clothes (I’m British so i get called emo!)

Strength/weaknesses:

Im not too sure about this one =^=

I would like to say I’m a good person to rant to or if you need comfort in general anyone can talk to me!

Anddd probably the fact i tend to hold back how I’m feeling for the sake of not wanting to bother other people/make them feel bad

Other!

And i saw it was tagged with Obey me so i assume obey me match ups :3

Oh also no problem at all if you aren’t taking requests right now! I look forward to see your writing <3

-anon <3

Omg hi! You are the very first person to come by! :D

Thank you for taking the time to write this to me! My request are open, so feel free to submit anything✨

((Side note, you and I are very similar! ^^))

I’m sorry if you don’t end up liking who I match you with but I still hope you enjoy the hc I made for you!

I match you with…~

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥

𓏸𓈒 At first, your interactions were strained at first.. He can’t be caught lacking talking to some normie! He also believed that you looked like a very hard person to approach, so why even bother? He thought. You looked too cool normie to want to interact with him of all demons!

𓏸𓈒 He eventually learns that he’s in fact wrong, you end up listening to his ranting about how mammon owes him money and played along with his scheme. Many would’ve already dissed him by now. So maybe you aren’t that bad as he had originally thought..

𓏸𓈒 But lord have mercy, whatever sparked your interest that got you talking made him into an automatic simp! The way you just glow with such excitement has his heart pounding and attacking his chest.

𓏸𓈒 You two are one in the same. When both of you end up figuring out the same passions, you become an unstoppable duo. So much so that it sometimes becomes too much for the other brothers to handle.

𓏸𓈒 Levi also happens to rewatch so many of the things he has already watched more than ten times. For him, each time he does it feels better than the last time. So if you wanted to rewatch something you enjoyed, he’ll most definitely join you with no complaints. He also goes ahead and find different shows or movies that are similar to the ones you like. He’s an expert!

𓏸𓈒 Everything you make and create are a godsend to him. And if it’s for him??? He can die happily at any given moment. Will have a shrine of all the things; it’s hidden away in a safe place tho. Behind one of his bookshelves.

𓏸𓈒 He appreciates so much how you listens to everything he says, even if it’s the most mundane or trivial things. Or if it’s so major for him that he just needs to let everything out of his system. The way m you go back and forth with him and not make him feel less of a person. Makes him suddenly have to stop the conversation for a moment to calm himself down every now and then.

𓏸𓈒 He loves being able to play video games with you, and you’re always the first person he’ll tell whenever the new game he had ordered arrived. If you ever accidentally messed up your console or computer, he takes this as his chance to shine and show you just how useful he can be. If you praise him, his brain will crash and there’s no fixing that.. Worry not though! He’ll come back to his senses, just give him a week or so!

𓏸𓈒 But when playing games with him, you guys tend to lose track of time very often, so this meant you got scolded by Lucifer quite often.

𓏸𓈒 He has made it pretty clear that he doesn’t like going outside of his room, he’s a hermit crab after all! He can’t handle being outside of his room for no reason. But, he would feel very envious of the people you hung out with whenever you weren’t with him. He found ask you to come by his room but you obviously can’t stay there forever! Unless he lock you up

𓏸𓈒 You’re a very busy person, a lot cooler and more popular than him. So he’ll try to step out of his comfort zone to be around you more often. Though fails many, many times to just barge into a conversation like Mammon or Asmo does. He’d also ask you if you could accompany him to an event that’s going on. Anything to have your attention!

𓏸𓈒 Whenever you have an appointment that requires you to get shots taken, he’ll do his best to hide you in his room. But if Lucifer is demanding it, there’s not much he can do.. He’ll try his best to comfort you though!

𓏸𓈒 As awkward as he may be, he really enjoyed being with you and feels like he has been able to open up to you easily. So, he hopes you feel the same way with him. Being able to rely on him to tell your problems or worries to him. He doesn’t know how to comfort perfectly, but he’ll be there for you no matter what! You’re his #1 player and a Best friend to him! It’s the least he could do for everything you already do for him.

End

Omg, I hope this wasn’t bad..! It’s my first time doing this and I hope I didn’t disappoint too much (╥﹏╥)

But I had a lot fun making this for you. Ty for introducing yourself to me, anon! Take care and have a good rest of your day/night!✨

#-🍓#obey me #obey me matchups #obey me headcanons #obey me requests

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whatisrambl3s · 1 year

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yeah im done.

people on this app/website strive for mental health and being accepting of others but when a person who is not mentally right like them makes a mistake they trash on them like they're fucking trash to the earth because they don't understand right from wrong.

yall say you support mental illnesses and say you have them then trash on people who show symptoms of it. fuck y'all.

to all the amazing and wonderful artists who blocked me bc of slander, go ahead. keep blocking people who literally don't impact you or have not done anything wrong to you.

im so fucking happy to have people who support me no matter my mental state or what I do when I'm in a bad state. LEARN TO FUCKING COMMUNICATE WITH PEOPLE LIKE YOU FFS. I'm not a brain-dead idiot who makes mistakes bc I'm an asshole, I'm mental. LIKE YOU. people throwing slander and shade piss me off, because you're ruining my life. I can't live a normal day without thinking someone hates me for something I didn't mean to do/didnt know was wrong. it's messing with my emotions, which means it's messing with me physically. It feels like I'm trapped. I just wanted to talk in DMS like adults.

that option is still open, cause I can't live like this.

sick of Tumblr, so fucking toxic

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beepboop358 · 2 years

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Hey! How are you?I hope your well. And if you'd ask me. I'd say im not okay. Sorry now I'm gonna start talking and this is gonna be really long.

Yeah I just watched vol2 and there's a few things im feeling right now. First, of course sadness and there's this anger for 'Suffer brother". I want to ask you few question cuz i really like your analysis. So..:

I don't understand why they made this to Will. If it wasn't mutual, why did they make Will fall in love with Mike? If someone comes along and says no, he's not in love, I swear I'm going crazy. It was clear that he was in love.

And I can't go without saying. In an interview the other day, the Duffer brothers said that Mike's speech on vol2 was his best performance. Dude are you kidding us? Never in my life have I heard such an unemotional "i love you". It was very terrible. Surely Mike is a great actor and no one has the mouth to refuse to against that fact. But that scene was emotionless and deep down I want to believe they did it on purpose. I want to believe it's not just queerbaiting and they're going to make a meaningful slowburn. what are your ideas?

I don't even know what to do anymore. I waited for this day to be able to continue with my life officially, and that's how it happened. Since the day I found myself being a shipper, I've never had a 'male' gay ship canon in my life and I assure you that I had a lot of gay ships(nearly all of my lesbian/female gay ships became canon, thank God) . I'm tired of sobbing. I don't know, maybe I'm just exaggerating the ship things a bit, but as someone who defines herself as an artist, both my own fictions and the fictions of others make me feel very real and I believe that such things gain importance according to the value people give to them. I say this because even though I hate the Duffer brothers, I will continue to believe in love, and as long as I believe in love, I will believe in Byler. But I want to ask you. Do you think I should believe? Do you think there's still a chance for Byler?Is there any evidence that you can tell me that in season 5 they might be and up together?

I personally love the last scene, all my ships were side by side, Byler,Jancy,Jopper. And beside Byler the others are holding hands. And Eleven was alone. (And I thought this might be a cinematography thing?)I really adore cinematography and the slides you made were amazing. After I read them,I really had believe that there's a whole another plan under all of that.And thought that the Duffer brother have a huge plot setting and it is Byler. But now I think stranger things nothing but a another cliche show. If byler won't happen then this show has nothing. There's nothing special about it. And if Byler became canon. I would probably still don't like a lot of things in the show the brothers have made but I'm going to love the show. Because Byler is really special for me. What are your thoughts about the mistakes the brothers have made or might will make?

I'm gonna wait for your answers. Thank you so much in advance. I appreciate you for your analysis, slides, answers. Stay with health and love! ❤️

hello!

I am not doing great at the moment, I'm sorry you're not either <33 also thank you! and feel free to send me long messages anytime :)

I agree, it's 100% clear Will's in love with Mike, so why write that, if it's going to be unrequited...we don't need more of that. I'm so sick of that trope. It's low-key harmful to just portray gay people as pining over their straight friends, and it's clear that trope is only for the straight people watching, because it hurts the queer people to watch that & this is especially bad because Will is so self-less and so supportive of Mike & El in season 4 and is so reassuring to Mike that he and El will be okay, but if his feelings for Mike are unrequited that's just icky to portray Will like that, because they're just displaying him as a prop/plot device for the straight people, while he's on the sidelines miserable.

I read that interview too, and when the scene happened I was like, "this isn't it right? RIGHT?! Oh wait, oh god, this IS what they were talking about..."

I completely agree with everything you said here, this is beautifully put. Queer love is beautiful, and it does exist, regardless of what the media portrays.

I think there's still a chance we could get byler in season 5, (those ending shots were honestly the most compelling piece of evidence which is sad on its own), but I'm not confident that we will. I thought they had a plan too, I hope they still do. I think the way they handled byler in season 4, making it seem unrequited, if actually isn't, is the biggest mistake they made as far as byler goes. I think they made LOADS of other mistakes in terms of the storylines and the action this season too.

I will continue to hold out hope until the duffer brothers obliterate it (if they do) in season 5. I just updated the slides for season 4, vol. 2, with a few more pieces of evidence!!

Thanks for this message <3 I hope you're doing well! xx <33

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whiskeyterrafoxtrot · 2 years

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In short, Instagram is starting to piss me off.

It decided to take down images of my "Odin Hates Nazis" sticker under the excuse it "incites hate/harassment toward a marginalized group," including when I took a screenshot of their ridiculous ruling to mock it and make people aware, because it had the photo inside it, too.

Same day, they decided they were going to take down a photo of the t-shirt I have with "Odin Hates Nazis" on it, under the same excuse. Obviously I appealed both, and they put the t-shirt back up, saying it was a mistake. I was later looking at the page, and they decided to take down the shirt AGAIN.

I made a BBB complaint, which they ignored.

For obvious reasons, I follow a page that makes fun of cringe Christian media. That page recently posted someone preaching about how the Bible apparently says you can "lay hands on" someone who's sick and if you're a Good Enough Christian, your faith will cure them. I commented "but burn the witch, apparently," this morning, and was just informed it's been removed for "inciting violence."

I'M A FUCKIN WITCH.

WHERE ARE THEY WHEN IM HARASSED FOR RELIGION, OR BEING LGBT?

I'm going to be focusing more on Tumblr and my actual website. Instagram is being taken over by people and AI who don't actually care why people use it, as long as they can squeeze as much money out of it as they can, no matter where it comes from or how.

I will therefore be using blaze on here. I will also be looking into other avenues of advertising, but I'm making this post mainly because there are so many people on here who claim to want to support small artists, and I'm calling on you to back up what you say.

If you can't buy anything from me, at least for the time being, please reblog along with any likes you send to my way. If you like it, show it to someone else.

This is around 70% of my income, and I'm working on making it 100%. There are things I'm doing locally, yes, but it's a sad fact I have to stay on social media at least a certain amount, to be able to showcase my work effectively.

If you're local to Seattle, or around the east side area, I have an events page on my website, if you would like to stop by in person and take a look/actually hold things.

Instagram can kiss my ass.

#witchblr #small business #paganblr #lgbt #artists on tumblr

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jentlemahae · 2 years

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i’ve never sent a tumblr ask before but i need to vent about the bp tour mistakes. it both is and isn’t their fault. like i’m not gonna blindly defend them, they shouldn’t be making so many mistakes, but at the same time it’s kind of understandable from a logic pov

some of it has to do with yg fucking up the release of born pink. remember those articles that said bp’s cb was gonna be in may? that was probably true. if it had been released earlier they would have gone on music shows which would have given them more experience performing together again. but the delays put bp in a weird position. they should have started tour prep in july. instead they had to film SD mv in the middle of what should have been PV promo, and then had no time to promote OR rehearse. lisa said they’d been busy preparing that they hadn’t slept and got sick which makes me think they had to rush it all last minute (which you can tell lol)

they’re in a company that doesn’t seem to want them to succeed and that is notorious for treating their female artists like shit (2ne1, lee hi etc). even TBL is the same. anda was there for 3 years and didn’t release ONE song by herself. even somi recently said ‘i hope i get a cb’. so bp likely experience the same so we get these long hiatuses which means bp have WAY less performance experience compared to their peers.

in their past hiatuses, bp were still performing but this time there was nothing. the last time they performed in front of a crowd was 2.5 years ago. they’ve performed like 5 times together in the past 1.5 years. they’re so out of practice which isn’t entirely their fault. i think most other groups would be similar in this situation. however bp definitely should have used that time to practice together but they didn’t and that IS their fault.

most of the mistakes they’re making are bc they’ve changed the dances which they clearly didn’t have time to rehearse properly. if they kept the old choreos, i don’t think they’d be making as many mistakes.

bp have acknowled their mistakes and apologised onstage multiple times. i don’t think bp themselves realised how out of practice they were until they got onstage. rose said she needed to perform 5 more times before she felt satisfied. so they’re not happy about it either. they know they’re lacking rn. yes they’ve made more mistakes than they should have but they’ve improved in every show so far. rosie is right, i do think it’s gonna take a few shows before they get used to it again (which isn’t great tbh)

i’m not sure i agree with the narrative that they don’t want to be a group anymore when last week all 4 members (even jisoo!!?!!??) cried onstage about how much they missed performing together. if anything this tour is gonna reignite the spark for them as a group

they’re making more mistakes than they should be but i do think this has been blown out of proportion bc it’s blackpink and people love to hate them. outside of the mistakes i’ve seen so many clips of them killing it. i haven’t seen anyone who actually paid for and went to the shows so far make any complaints. they’ve all had a good time. they’re still putting on a good show. i hope they get in their stride soon though

oooooh u literally put my thoughts into words !! like i (and u) said it is the pinks’ fault for not practicing more but yg is partially to blame bcs the hiatus and the way the girls are treated in that company is for sure not helping, so yes yg is partially to blame as well! and yeah i think the girls are disappointed as well, and i really hope they channel all this energy into practicing more, and im sure they’ll get the hang of it after a few concerts (which like u said isn’t great…..)

i also don’t think the girls no longer want to be a group, but i just hope they don’t want to stay together too much bcs i want them to go (and yeah i think this tour will likely reignite the spark and that concerns me lol)

and yeah i agree that it’s obviously been blown out of proportion bcs it’s bp, but it’s still something to discuss bcs it’s becoming a problem :] and well i think the ppl going to the concert are fans so ofc they’re not gonna go on twt and talk negatively about the shows, but who knows what they think

#anonymous #sophie ask

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warmau · 4 years

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Love Struck!AU x ATEEZ

find other love struck!aus here: monsta x | day6 hey you! happy valentines days!

hongjoong

a love language that consists of showering you in gifts

and not material things, but handmade treasures

jewelry, love letters, and matching one-of-a-kind decorated phone cases or denim jackets

he feels like his talents are what can show his love best

you sometimes end up with a tower of these gifts in your hands to the point where you’re running out of space in your room on where to put them

he won’t admit it outloud, but seeing you use or wear something he made - make it feel like in one way or another you two are connected by something special

someone once asks where you got that necklace and you excitedly pull hongjoong over and say he’s the artist who made it

when that person asks if he’ll make something for them

he goes red in the ears and quietly explains

“i only make things for the people i adore, im sorry.”

seonghwa

horrible at trying to keep his composure

frequently tries to help you with cooking or cleaning or shopping

and when you accept and he finds himself in close quarters for you. he ....... loses it

sometimes he’ll be one second by your side and the next he’s gone and you’re stranded in the freezer section looking around for him

while he’s heaving over in the dairy aisle - crazily muttering to himself that there is no way someone can look THAT cute picking out ice cream flavors

tricks himself into confidence but then your hand's brush and wooyoung can SEE seonghwa’s soul leave his body

you’re trying to make a simple dish for dinner and are grumbling about the ingredients you’re missing

seonghwa offers to go out and buy them - already slipping on his shoes

when you turn off the stove and say you’ll go with him!

he tries to refuse, and explain that he wants to help you not burden you furthermore

and when you look up at him and smile - “spending time with you is never a burden!”

well oh my seonghwa thinks he sees stars

(and he does. poor boy crumples backward against the wall with glee and you have to shake him a few times to see if he’s alright)

yunho

more than anything, there are a lot of emotions and it is all ......... very confusing

one moment he’s buzzing around you with so much warmth and taking every chance he can to hear about your day or look at the new book you’re reading

and the other second,,,,,,,,,he’s locked up in his room

hongjoong knocks and says “someone is here and wouldn’t you like to see them?”

and yunho feels like he’s five again, hiding under the blanket because your pretty face makes him nervous and a little scared

he flipflops back and forth and everyone else doesn’t understand it either

one evening you let yourself into his room after knocking a few times with no answer

to see him with his hand against his forehead and his phone in his other hand

you rush over because “are you sick? are you looking up your symptoms?”

and yunho nods

he turns his phone over and you read the recent search:

“im so in love, i think it’s making me catch the flu?”

you look up

“you’re in love?”

“yeah. with you.”

mingi

if he had a tail, it would be wagging whenever you were anywhere in his vicinity

just the sight of you makes him jump and grin and fall like an overgrown puppy over your lap

eyes twinkling with nothing short of adoration

he always needs to be next to you - if you’re in the car going somewhere

if you’re at the amusement park with the rest of the boys

if you’re all just having a conversation

mingi isn’t the least bit shy about picking hongjoong up and placing him on the other couch so he can be closer to you

although he does get shy about looking your way, peering at you and encountering the chance that you might look back makes him so giddy he can’t sit still

much to the laughter of wooyoung and yeosang who go

“oh, mingi is wiggling again - that means you know who is on their way.”

(the you know who is,,,,,,,well. you.)

you try something you’ve never done before one afternoon, you put your hand up and run it through mingi’s hair as he tells you excitedly about this dance he’s learned

the sensation makes his hyperness come to a halt and instead he looks at you with wide - bewildered eyes

“sorry, should i not do that?”

he shakes his head

“please keep doing it.........forever.”

san

liar liar pants on absolute raging everyone can tell but you fire

“i don’t like them. i just think that if i get to sit next to them it’s an advantage for all of us because...........well because they’re wearing blue and im wearing green and those colors COMPLIMENT each other”

something twists in his stomach every time someone points out how much he favors you above all

because if his secret comes out - he could lose you

so his defense is to: lie

“if i liked them i would just tell them, obviously, im choi san - i dont fear anything!”

correction: he fears rejection. ALOT.

there are days when his lies come out a little painful and the quiver in your smile makes san want to dig a hole and bury himself

the last thing in the world he wants is to make you sad - so one day he decides he can’t risk it anymore

when hongjoong playfully points out that san has been staring at you instead of the movie for the past hour

san takes a handful of popcorn, shrugs, and admits it

“they’re much more interesting than this boring flick.”

although yeosang is painfully ticked off at the fact that san just called a wildlife documentary on bees ‘a boring flick’

everyone else is happy he told the truth

you slink down a little in your seat because you’re happy to but ,,,,,, oh ,,,,,, whatever does that mean?

wooyoung

tries way too hard to become what he has deemed is your “ideal type”

like he hears you like striped sweaters and guess what - if it doesn’t have stripes, wooyoung hasn’t worn it in a month

if you mention liking vanilla flavors well then by gosh darn ,,,,,,,,,, everyone in the ateez house is eating vanilla ice-cream from now on

because if seonghwa’s hand even reaches for strawberry, wooyoung is like AHEM

he really doesn’t have to put all this effort into sleuthing out your likes and dislikes

because the truth is, nothing makes you happier than witnessing him be a total goofball with all the confidence in the world

so when he keeps claming up and trying to do all of these things that you’ve never even seen him do before

you think there’s only one way to make someone who takes everything so literally ,,,,,,,,,,, understand

jongho asks you one day, “so what do you lik-”

and before he can finish you point across the room and go

“i like wooyung. you know, wooyoung wooyoung.”

wooyoung goes so red - he has to hide his face in yeosang’s back before whispering

“how do i become more wooyoung-ish?”

everyone: oh my god you’re ALREADY enough TRUST US

yeosang

gives you the cold shoulder, kind of

but it’s the antarctic if he thinks you’re showing favoritism toward anyone else

you once gave jongho a pressed flower you’d made - just because he asked to like,,,,,,see it

and yeosang was found standing in the living room with his face in the corner, lamenting what he had done wrong

san and wooyoung keep teaming up to get you and yeosang alone

but yeosang manages to slip out of their plans like a cat slithering from the hands of an owner when it’s being petty

you mistake it sometimes as annoyance so you try hard to be happy and cheerful and bright

and it just makes yeosang that much more afraid to approach you because ,,,,,, you shine like an angel and what if he does something that dims that light

he’d die

he says as he falls backwards on the bed and his members shake their head

“you know they think you hate them right?”

jongho says what no one else can and yeosang jumps to his feet

“they think WHAT?”

you end up with a yeosang who is pleading over the misunderstanding and without even saying it he confesses just how much he likes you and you,,,,,

you whisper in his ear that a matter a fact - he is your favorite, he’s always been

(yeosang flaunts that - and your upcoming date - the whole week)

jongho

no time to dilly dally about it!

he thinks you’re a work of art and well he’s gonna say it

or sing it

i think he’d definitely enjoy the chance to serenade you but he just read an article about how that could be embarrassing so you know what he’ll just stick to letting you know his feelings,,,,,,normally

and jongho, even for being so young - is the only member who thinks shame is a sham

therefore

he will take your hand under the afternoon sunlight, leaning against the window and watching the beams fall on your face

illuminating the features he thinks are just otherworldly

and he’ll tell you

he’s lovestruck, what more else is there to say? he can repeat it all you want to hear

the rest of ateez just won’t believe it - did he just make up his mind?!

but jongho knew it from the first moment and he just picked a time where he could say if easily

“if im going to waste my time pining over you, i think it’s best you know how hard im pining.”

#been in the queue for this day!#ateez scenarios #ateez imagines #ateez au #mingi scenarios #hongjoong scenarios #san scenarios #yunho scenarios #jongho scenarios #yeosang scenarios #wooyoung scenarios #seonghwa scenarios #ateez

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yeslordmyking · 3 years

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Happy 27th Birthday Jackson Wang

My Journey With Jackson Wang

For Jackson's birthday this year, I've decided to share why Jackson's birth is so important to me personally. I'll walk through the emotional journey that ensued once Jackson entered my life.

(Images and gifs are not mine)

Fun Beginnings

It all started when I decided to explore more kpop groups than just Bigbang. The last month of 2016, I discovered GOT7, the group that sang A and Hard Carry. I learned they were having a comeback very soon, so I studied up everything I could on them. The member that caught my eye was Jackson Wang.

Beneath the Surface

I won't pretend I had this amazing ability to go beyond what was shown to me. Not at first. I saw Jackson as the biggest goofball in the group. He was loud and fun and extra. Honestly I thought every GOT7 member was fun and crazy, but Jackson in particular stood out to me. Then, I found this moment.

When Jackson burst into tears and collapsed into his Mom and Dad's arms. As an empathetic cryer, I was obviously using my sleeves to dry my own eyes. That was when I realized there was more to Jackson than the compilation videos were showing. After studying up from some good Jackson fans, I learned he was a gentleman, he had a soft side, he likes compliments and attention from his members, he had olympic level athleticism. These were all nice things to learn, but things only got deeper from there.

Stanning in 2017

Flight Log: Arrival era. My first GOT7 comeback. Poor Jackson got sick for a little while. When he returned, I saw how everyone welcomed him back so warmly. I remember seeing GOT7 joined Monsta X backstage- who I was also im the process of stanning- while reacting to their performance at a music show and everyone just seemed so happy for him to be there. They all loved each other. Jackson got along with basically every idol. Jackson must be very loved.

As I continued to stan, I learned just how good of a person he was. Stories from his past showed that Jackson was the kind person to care for complete strangers as close friends. He cared for elderly women who felt lonely or neglected. He spent hours talking with someone who was too depressed to live another day. He stood up for fans that may be jostled by security, even if it was ultimately for his protection. He made sure the women in his workspace were comfortable and respected. He shook hands and made contact with every person involved in working alongside him. He thanked God for his success in his letters. To me, Jackson seemed to be nothing short of a complete angel. Who could deny it?

Then, Jackson announced his solo career. That was when I saw things how they really were. The amount of hate that I witnessed towards Jackson was crushing for me. So imagine how bad it was for him. Physically, mentally, I saw him hit a wall. People were telling him what kind of music he was and wasn't capable of. They spread lies about him. Then they wondered why he stopped smiling as much.

They only saw him as a comedian or a joke. I just couldn't believe someone I thought was so wonderful was so despised. He was human. He may make mistakes, but he made an effort to correct them. No matter what, he still had feelings. He wasn't a robot or a clown. He could get tired. He could hurt. This was when I decided that I was going to be a ride or die Jackson fan. Because someone so kind and talented didn't deserve anything but love and to be supported for his dreams. I wanted to give it to him.

The Jacky Life

There was a lot of ups and downs after this. Jackson started Team Wang. This is where I saw a new side of Jackson. The hardworking Jackson, in real time. He showed the world his work ethic as he began to work from the ground up to make Team Wang a strong label. Through every release and every appearance he made, he gave 1000% of his effort. To the point where fans were afraid he was going to push himself too hard. He went through endless performances, intense dance competitions, long variety show shoots while enduring exhaustion, anemia, back pain, mental illness all without a complaint or a sign of lessening his passion for his art. I was so concerned, often breaking into tears over my worry. I didn't know what to do to let him know we were proud of him, we supported him, it was ok to rest. But I understood his mindset. He wanted to be taken seriously. He wanted people to see what he was capable of. He wanted the world to see him as Jackys already did. Then one day, it clicked for him. He stopped focusing on what negativity came his way. He learned and grew from it, and focused on improving himself. It was an amazing journey to witness.

It Gets Personal

Jackson continued to blast off as a solo artist, and participate in GOT7, all of which gained immense success. But then it was my turn to hit a wall. In my own life, I'd had doors slammed in my face over and over again, wearing me down more and more. I couldn't move forward. It seemed I wasn't meant to achieve my dreams. I started to kill my own dreams and believe they weren't meant to be pursued. My self worth and hope plummeted. Then Jackson's brand began to grow. "Know Yourself. Make Your Own History." He began to give more and more insight on how he left behind a secure future of olympic fencing to pursue his dreams. He talked about taking risks, learning from failure, not having regrets and at least trying to make your dreams come true. And these weren't just empty words for Jackson. He was living proof. I actually witnessed him rise like a phoenix from the ashes as he began to manage his health better, released his first album Mirrors, launch his own fashion brand, all while remaining his remarkably humble self. Other artists from all over the world flocked to be participants in his career. In his music, he expressed what his fans' support meant to him, and in his interviews he gives Jackys so much credit for getting him where he is now. It felt unreal to be acknowledged by someone I admired so much, and to hear someone who seems so out-of-my-league successful and talented encourage me to do the same. To say it so much that I truly believe he wants us to reach all of our dreams.

Team Wang For Life

For me, being a fan of Jackson Wang is beyond just liking his music. It's a source of love and motivation that I often have trouble giving myself. I see Jackson Wang as a blessing and a guide for me to help me take steps in my life I would've been afraid to were it not for Jackson's words and actions. So I'm extremely grateful for his existence on this earth and his decision to be a goodhearted and determined human being. His birthday is a day that I go back and think about everything he is and appreciate it.

Happy birthday Jackson Wang. Your journey so far has helped me in so many ways, and I will support you in whatever way I can. Thank you for making your presence on this earth so impactful. To me, you truly are a king, that I will continue to love through the ups and downs of this world. You're never alone.

~♡Sincerely, Your Princess♡~

#i know this is probably the most cringey thing in the entirety of kpop twitter but i wanted to share it #happy birthday my dearest Jackson Wang #may you be happy and loved today and every single day of your life #your princess will always have love and gratitude for you #got7 jackson #jackson wang #jackson #ultimate bias #got7 #team wang #kpop #cpop #my baby boo #👑 be my king and i'll be your princess 👑#jackson wang you are my only true love #KingJacksonDay #JacksonNeverAlone

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butchedyke · 3 years

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i was tagged by miss alex @hotrod2007 to answer 30 questions and tag people to also answer said questions. thank u my dearest soap eating friend this took me multiple days to complete because i got stuck on the last question <3

1. name/nickname: colleen! my beloved discord friends call me col tho

2. gender: teenage boy in a campy 80s film

3. star sign: scorpio! i finally memorised my moon and rising bc i was sick of checking my phone every time it came up but idk what it means so if scorpio sin virgo moon libra rising means anything to anyone. hmu

4. height: short but still taller than alex <3 (approx 5'3")

5. time: it was 11:53pm aedst when i started writing this but i just finished 2 days later and it's 10:16pm <3

6. birthday: november 4

7. favorite bands/groups: one direction, panic! at the disco (do not mistake me for someone that likes or respects br*ndon urie i just like the songs), i'm more prone to just listening to Songs rather than Artists so i'm p limited here dhksbc i've been listening to a decent amount of the cure lately tho

8. favorite solo artist: hozier, mika, harry styles, again tho i listen to a lot of individual songs rather than artists rip

9. song stuck in my head: nothing atm so i'm hoping to keep it that way. most of today i had our house by madness stuck in my head and i don't need that curse back

10. last movie: ready or not

11. last show: s*pernatural

12: when did i create this blog: 2012 :|

13. what do i post: that is such a good question!

14. last thing googled: azealia banks cat

15. other blogs: that's a secret 🧡

16. do i get asks: no and i don't know what i have to do to get them!!!!

17. why did i choose this url: i'm butch. i'm lesbian. that's it!

18. following: 516

19. followers: around 2660, it fluctuates when i change content or post mildly problematic things

20. average hours of sleep: a solid 7 or 8! benefits of living with ur gf who does full time shiftwork ur sleep schedule becomes weirdly regular around hers

21. lucky number: just like. whatever

22. instruments: i haven't touched it for a solid 12 months but cornet, i played in my local brass band from age 10 until i moved out at 17 and still sometimes play when i'm visiting my parents

23. what am i wearing: pyjamas 🧡 grey shirt with cats on it and long black shorts with skulls on them

24: dream job: dream jobs aren't real no one dreams of working whatever but i want to work in a museum! i'd be happy with any job whether it be curating or tour guiding or whatever but i know i need more qualifications :^| other than that though i'd like to work in a library!

25: dream trip: not 2 be cringe but i'd kill to go to disney world. i've got a Thing for the lore of the parks, sue me

26. favorite food: lasagne. garfield kinnie (joke)

27. nationality: a*stralian 🤢

28. favorite song: atm either wuthering heights by kate bush or the lovecats by the cure

29. last book read: i genuinely could not tell you the last book i finished reading but i got about halfway through howl's moving castle last year! shit's wack he's literally just a guy from wales? studio ghibli REALLY took some liberties and i thank them every day for it

30. three fictional universes you’d like to live in: suddenly ive forgotten every piece of media ive ever consumed 🧡 on the topic of studio ghibli though i'd definitely say the my neighbour totoro universe given that i have in the past had a cry over the fact that totoro isn't real, maybe ocarina of time hyrule but in a universe where nothing goes wrong and i just live my little lesbian life in kakariko village OR on the floaty island in skyward sword which i have Not played since i was about 9 but have positive opinions on (switch remaster when), and highkey the professor layton universe bc i love a good ambiguous time period and i like the idea of it being normal to just have puzzles everywhere and sometimes communicate through them. don't talk to me unless you solve this puzzle. icon behaviour

im always beaten to tagging the people i want to but im gonna do it anyway just in case <3 @lethbians @morbidstuff2019 @eastaustraliancurrent @dykearchie @zukkacore @pensomolto @afterafternoons obviously no one is obligated to do it and if any of my other beloved mutuals are compelled to u can say i tagged u this is an @everyone

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woozi · 3 years

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i agree how you described twt, sometimes everyone's just ready to fight it seems, i've genuinely had fun on both platforms at different times but now it's just too much on stan twt (no space for difference of opinion djsjdjj) it's good to know you're having fun as well :3 & omg i've seen few of my moots starting to give svt their attention after fallin flower dropped, everything abt it is <3333 the song, mv, choreo i love it.

hdjdjddkdjdj " virgos 😐 " also me in next breath "happy birthday mark :D i love you so much 🥺💕💗" any virgos reading this i really hope you enjoy your month to the fullest djjdjd <3. righttt?? you're correct abt mark's temper being very virgo djdjdkd.

your line screams hard-working people <3 jihoon, jaebeom, jeonghan the 3Js <3. isn't jaebeom also an infj? (i don't take mbtis seriously but at the same time it also makes me happy if it ends up matching someone i like djdjjd) chan & yugs 🥺 these two imo have the sweetest personality, like the one which makes you feel welcomed & they also have the cutest laugh 🥺.

i love jus2 <3 focus on me is one of my favorite kpop mvs of all time & also drunk on you??? i love this song so much, very sexy of them. the vibes, style and everything w/ their album, i want more songs like that. and for when i am feeling melancholy i need more songs like jjp's verse 2 😭💔 but i am also okay if they don't want to go back to these units bcoz everything so far they've been giving is just as great <33 ( maybe in future we'll get blessed w/ features 🥺)

honestly g7 as grp and individually have won me over with their music style, even if i don't like full album ik there will be 3-4 songs which will be exactly what i like to listen to, all of the music they've released individually i've liked it so much. there is this song of youngjae's, titled "i'm all ears" i had no idea of its existence until it popped up in my spotify i'm so glad it did, it's been in my playlist ever since. there was also a time when i was obsessed with jackson's 'on the rocks' djdjdk.

aww <3 the live performance video of 1° has mark as thumbnail so for long time i used to associate this song with him jdjddk. i think the only j*pe thing i'd miss is got7 studio live sessions 🥺. RIGHTJDKSKS aju nice's mv is very cute djjddk I love it, in reality its reverse tho, i see them and boom! 💖💛💗🤍💕💙

it was the year they won first bb*as award so that gave them the exposure, and no i don't follow them anymore. mixed feelings abt them, very negative feelings abt f*ndom fjdjdjd. i do miss what it used to feel like liking them sometimes. at that time i never thought i'll willingly drop them from my interest (i've stanned zayn since 2012 first him as grp member then solo. sometimes thinking abt it gives me a whiplash hddjks it's been 9 years, really thought it would be same with them too but it didn't happen)

i've had falling in love by yugs and in to you by jaebs on loop for days djdkdk i really love these two songs and also air by bammie <3 (i'm slow jams kinda person djdjdk :3)

(bam released the most fun album & title this year idc abt others, ribbon is one of the soty) also special mention of look so fine & running through the rain. yes! you do make sense they feel organic & very them.

exactly 😭 it's more believable when they drop stuff out of nowhere like encore 😭😭. the way youngjae posted his letter on twt too ddjjdkssk the announcement & release of encore is such a 'you just had to be there' situation the excitement, nervousness, confusion and everything 😭 sometimes i can't with them. also is the bibi with mark on ost, the same one you mentioned in last ask? the ost is really good <3, it must've been fun to see it happen (if its same bibi).

making a whole ass playlist just for me???? 😭😭😭🥺💗 yza you're so sweet nooooo 💖

and don't worry abt replying late jdjdkdjd i mean it, sometimes my friends text me after weeks and i'm am the same. it's really okay <3. i hope this week is treating you kindly, take care yza - 🪂

p.s ( just saw last post djjej) - it was me who manifested more bunny dino <3 manifesting even more <33

i was on stan twt during my younger years too and it was v fun and memorable to me ngl <3 idk what happened though.. it's evolved to be.. Something Else.. i still see a lot of good people there though 😭 and now that i'm in my Hag Era... idk it's just too fast for me now 😭 it's still my go-to place for updates though nothing can top twitter on that dept

and ms fallin flower.... i feel like everyone was blown away by it (based off of what i see carats when talk about it) and rightly so!! she SERVED. the looks too oh my god. it's another factor i look forward to and enjoy so much when i watch their performances!!

u know what? virgos 😐 indeed KJJKDFJKFDJKFDKJ i want to slander virgos today because it's their season and no one slanders them that often so <3 ABOUT MARK'S VIRGO TEMPER THOUGH... i know i've said i enjoy seeing it sm but whenever i think abt it i cant help but say that.. I Love His Temper <3 he doesn't get pissed off in a scary and douchebag-y way it seems so... contained?? IDK HOW TO DESCRIBE IT he punched an a/c though so that might not be the perfect word to describe him lmaoo <3

THE J TRINITY HFDJFJDJHDF BESTIE UR MIND IS SO!!!!!!!!!!! honestly... maybe it's the acts of service for me <3 JKDFKJFDKJFJKD i think this is just my eldest sister and savior syndrome speaking though kfjkdkjf ALSO OH MY GOD THE WAY U NOTICE THESE THINGS <3 THAT'S SO SEXIE OF U!!! and yes he used to be an infj!! there was an interview that's more recent wherein he mentioned that he's now an enfj though but i cant rmb which interview it's from :/ ALSO MOOD FKJJKGJGKF i dont believe in mbtis too but im just... a little obsessed w it for the fun of it all <3 and the way u described them </3 what if i tear up a little </3 I LOVE CHAN'S LAUGH SO MUCH BUT IM SO SOS O GLAD U BROUGHT UP YUGYEOM'S LAUGH??????????? IT'S NOT TALKED ABT ENOUGH LIKE...... HELLO!!!!!!!!!!! one of my bird moots said he sounded like a schoolboy in choir 😭😭😭😭😭😭

GOD UR TASTE!!!!!!! what if i start falling in l*ve a little :/ what then :/ focus on me was ahead of it's time and people fucking slept on THEM i cannot fucking believe this. this has to be some kind of sick joke 😭 ALSO HAVE U SEEN THE CHOREO FOR SENSES!!!!!!1 INCREDIBLE!!!!!!!!!! holy fuck!!!!!! sorry for the expletives but like.... holy SHIT they did THAT!!!!!!!! ALSO UR SO RIGHT </3 jjp verse 3 when... ALSO did u know i let go of the jjprojects url... thats the worst mistake of my life KDKJDSKJDSJK also agree wholeheartedly <3 i think they're all trying to find their footing this time around as soloists and im so proud of them for that!! i'll stand by my jus2 agenda though bc they're almost in the same company so maybe.. i might have hope left 😭

SO TRUE BESTIE!!! the same principle goes w svt for me as well <3 got7's such a flavorful group musically like... all of them have the capacity to go solo and they're still considered flops.. waht the fuck <3 ALSO OMG FJDKJFKFJD YOU'VE HEARD The Song!!!!!!!! maybe he'll be releasing something along those lines <3 esp now that he's supposedly coming w an album KJSJKDJSK on a similar note.. do u also listen to jamie (the other artist on the song) <3 NOO SHUT UP THIS CANNOT BE FOR REAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!1 i was obsessed w on the rocks too 😭😭😭😭😭😭 IT WAS MY FAVORITE ON THE MIRRORS ALBUM HELLO??????????????????????????? im proposing to u rn

ok now i have to watch all the live vids again JKDSJKSJDKDSKJ ik keep saying 'ur so right', 'i agree', and 'so true bestie' but im gonna have to say this again bc i LOVE LOVE LOVE live sessions sm no matter the artist. i also just am a little partial to live bands in performances like that in general so JDJKKDSJDS

the way you're saying these cute things abt the svteenies.. </3 giving me heartache!!! i'd bully them though i can't coddle them anymore <3

not the fandom JKFDKJFDKJFDKJFKJF ok but i think it's mostly their younger fans tbh. it wasn't this bad before.. i also really liked bts during their debut days. their songs were really good!! i kind of lost interest though and couldn't really get into them although their songs slapped lol. my irls are still into them though so i still hear about them. 9 YEARS............................... wait oh my god it HAS BEEN a little over a decade since 1d was The Thing huh 😭 now i feel kinda old lmao. and i totally get that feeling </3 it really do be like that sometimes JKFDJKJKFD

you really ARE keeping up w the sevens oh my god how are you doing it!!!!!!!!!!! it's like getting svt content now at this point but more complicated bc u need to get the updates from different sources JDKJSDKJJSKD love ur song choices too <3

ALSO FULLY RELATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! when i saw bam's teasers... the aes was my cup of tea and THE HIGHLIGHT MEDLEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i can't fucking get it out of my mind it's objectively one of the best things i've seen from kpop in 2021. i'm super impressed <3 love how abyss really supported bambam on this. they really went all in for him!!

I KNOW GKJDFJDK I GOT SUPER ???????/// DURING THE TIME EVERYONE THOUGHT THEY WERE DISBANDING LMAOOOO they pulled a move that's so unheard of though no one really expected That. i respect jaebeom so much for handling all the paperwork and shit behind the scenes it must've been HELL!! ALSO IT MEANT I CRIED FOR NOTHING THEN 😭😭😭 AND YES OH MY GOD IT'S THE SAME BIBI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THE SHOCK I HAD WHEN I SAW THE LIST????????????????????????? thought i was gonna black out like,,, mark,,, AND BIBI??????????????? she's fucking phenomenal how is she just a YEAR older than me.. INSANE!!! ... and i also thought jackson was gonna have an ost for this movie.. idk why it wasn't released though i didnt look into it :/

i had a rough few days so i'm not yet finished with the playlist (my laptop's Dead i am still trying to revive her and uni's starting soon 😭) but for the mean time, here's another one that some people from caratblr previously asked for JDSJKSDJ these are mostly english songs though its not my k-playlist KJDSKJSDJK

i do hope this week gets better!!! and i hope that you'll have a fun one too <3 thank u for being so patient w me 🥺 i just get so many messages and find the need to recharge FDKJDFJK

ALSO I FELT LIKE IT WAS U!!!!!! OH MY GOD, i even searched my blog for the word manifest but for some reason your ask didn't come up in the search so i didnt mention u in the tags so i wont misattribute if it ends up not being u 😭 thank u for manifesting this chan for me he's my little... hop hop now ig... 😭

#lov u u genuinely make my days better!! <#*<3 #also the way u called me by name... passing out rn </3 #🪂 anon #anon #y.ask #long post

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writers-hes · 4 years

Text

how do you want to spend new years eve?

hello, guys! thank you so much for your support on christmas record! i’ve been getting some requests to continue it and late christmas and i will get to it, after the plans that im currently thinking of! meanwhile, here is a new years-themed fic! if

if you haven’t read the fics mentioned above, you can read them here. if you want to be a part of my taglist, you can do so by reblogging or liking this post.

don’t forget, requests are open! ❤️

warnings: SMUT !!!!! swearing, alcohol + unedited

(it’s my first time writing smut so please leave me some feedback! i love you guys and thank you guys so much for 140+ followers, i love u all!)

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“I can’t do this anymore,”

Words that Harry told you when last year’s New Year’s Eve. Harry didn’t know why he was saying those words, perhaps it was because he wanted to take the young model to bed instead of you. Harry watched you crumble that night, asking what happened, asking if it was your fault. It wasn’t any. In fact, things were going great--so great between the two of you. Perhaps the reason why Harry broke up with you was because for him, distance was the antidote to the love he was feeling. Perhaps he was scared because all of his past relationships never seemed to work out, a sick part of him wanted you not to work out. Heartbreak brings a new writing material, anyway. He felt it at first, how in love he was suddenly being when you combed the stores in London to find his favourite bath gel. It was the little things that you noticed and the little things that Harry’s beating himself up for now.

The year was so great for Harry, releasing his new album and all that. He just had two successful live shows in Los Angeles and in London. People celebrated him wherever he went and he had this rockstar status that you once used to love but he’d just rather be at home with you. He’d rather spend the night with you instead of getting wasted during the afterparties, trying his best to forget the greatest mistake he’s ever done. It was annoyingly painful, how he saw your face in crowds, he knows you weren’t there but he was hoping. One time, strolling in his hometown, Holmes Chapel, he thought he saw you. He ran after you, grasping the arms of the girl in front of him. It wasn’t you--she just looked like you. Seven billion faces in the world and yours was the only face he memorised perfectly. He memorised how you scrunch your nose, how you’d raise your eyebrows, the curve of your lips, the shape of your tongue, and the softness of your eyes.

It wasn’t purposefully, how he never saw if you were off having the best life you could. He was just bored and decided to go on Instagram. He was scrolling through the photos of his friends, even liking some of them when he stumbled upon a picture of you, wearing a shirt he gave you, whilst looking another man in adoration. He bit his lip, making himself believe that that was not his shirt and even if it was, you weren’t looking at another boy--you were looking at him. He lightly tapped on the photo, seeing as you tagged the prick that was in it. He chuckled, it was Leon Harris, a friend of yours that he always found annoying. How come he never recognised him? He saw how this Leon guy was looking at you while you were both dating. He frowned. How long have you been with this Harris prick? It was jealousy bubbling in the pit of his stomach but at the same time, it was the need to see more of you. He wanted to see how Leon Harris viewed you. Does he see you the way Harry does? Does he kiss you like Harry does? Does he hold you like Harry does? Was he a better man than Harry?

He sighed, scrolling through Leon’s photos. He’s a douchebag. Surely, my angel could do better than this. Harry was irked and irritated. Leon never posted photos of you--he only posted photos of football, gaming consoles, going out with the boys, and unnecessary flexing of his father’s money. Harry was annoyed. He felt his skin prickling with the thought of you being touched by Leon in ways he shouldn’t. That night, he drowned himself in putrid brown liquid. To think, he had all the money he could ever want in the world but still settled for convenience store-grade whiskey. Tomorrow would be a better day.

“Fuck,” he said once he woke up. He remembered the night before, him downing the bottle of whatever shit was in the glass bottle. His head was pounding and he knew that if you were here right now, you would take care of him. He always looked for you, even though he was the one who broke your heart. New Years Eve was coming around and people were already asking him to make an appearance in some parties. He wanted to, he really did but the risk of bumping into you in some of the parties were high. He wasn’t ready to see the face of the woman that haunted him every night for the past year. He lazily walked towards his en-suite, one of the many rooms that smelled like you. He made sure to buy the exact perfume you always wore and spray it around the house. Harry knew that it was unhealthy, holding onto every piece of you when he was the one who decided to end things. He was annoyed at himself and wanted nothing more than to call you but it will only stay like that, a wish. He couldn’t bring himself to do it and to call you because he knew you were hurting. Perhaps you weren’t hurting now, seeing as you were with Leon but maybe you’re still stuck on him, seeing as you were wearing his shirt and a chain around your neck with his heavy ‘H’ ring hanging. Who else was ‘H’ in your life? He couldn’t remember any. As he was taking a shower, he was confused. Was that photograph a sign to call you? Or was it you slapping him in the face because you would never come back to him?

-----

Harry decided to drop by Nick’s NYE party. He never got to see his old friend around and wanted nothing more than to confide in his friend. Nick was your friend too but he always belonged to Harry. He was Harry’s friend first, after all. He might see you there but at least, liquid courage would flow freely into his bloodstream, giving him all the confidence that he needs in order for him to talk to you again.

When Nick learned that Harry was coming to his party, he was ecstatic. It’s been awhile since he last saw Harry and he really missed him. After the break-up, he knew immediately that Harry was broken and in the seams--so were you. Nick invited you to his party, too and you weren’t sure if it was an act of kindness or generosity. Perhaps he was pitying you because all of you and Harry’s mutual friends left you after the break-up, a confirmation that they never really liked you. They only liked to be closer to Harry for his money, fame, and influence. Who wouldn’t want to be near the Harry Styles after all? Still, you knew Nick wasn’t like that. He genuinely liked you after Harry formally introduced the both of you to each other. You were practically joined by the hip whenever Harry was touring and it was nice--it was just you who decided to distance yourself from the friendship when you and Harry broke up, avoiding everything that was related to him.

You had just woken up when Leon knocked at your door. Through your break-up, Leon was there to console you. You tried dating each other but it just didn’t work out--Leon was not Harry and you were not a boy. So instead, you hired Leon to be your assistant, seeing as he was unemployed and was also your friend.

“Y/N if you don’t wake up the fucking door I will break this down!” Leon called from outside. Groggily, you made your way to the door of your London penthouse. You opened the door to reveal Leon, in what he would call an outfit that was out of his comfort zone. You understood, though, seeing as Leon was still inside the closet. The only people who knew he was gay was you and his sprinkling of boyfriends who also happened to be inside the closet. You understood, though. Leon’s family was strict when it comes to homosexuality so he had to act as a straight black boy--always going to the gym, making his Instagram as douche-y as possible, and so one. You felt for him, always asking him if you could do something for him. He would always say no telling you how much your friendship and the job you gave him was enough.

“What do you want?” you asked as you walked to your couch to continue your sleep.

“Remember? Nick Grimshaw is coming in today for a fitting,” Leon reminded. You sighed. You were a designer based in London but because of Harry, you had more artists come at you for designs. That was how you and Harry met, you being introduced by Harry L, his stylist, before his world tour for a couple of suits. He then came to you a few months after, asking for some pieces for his magazine covers and you agreed. Your heart ached at the memory of you and Harry playing with new pieces you came up with. Harry always loved your designs.

“Oh, yeah. Where was it again?” you asked, disoriented because you’d see Nick Grimshaw again. You’d be reminded of Harry again. It wasn’t as if you weren’t reminded of him all the time, though. The burning sensation of his gold ‘H’ ring hanging from your chest every time. It became your source of comfort and it was pathetic how you still held onto it for so long--it’s been almost a year. “It’s here, yeah?” you asked, to which Leon nodded. You nodded as well, limping towards your bathroom to be ready for the day.

“I’ll make coffee!” Leon shouted as you trudged to the comforts of your hot shower.

It was a few hours later when your doorbell rang. Nick’s custom silk pants and denim jacket was laying on your couch, ready to be worn by the celebrity. If it fit him, you’d be focusing on the apliques and the details that he wanted to have--they were quite easy actually. He just wanted to have his name in sparkling red embroidery, almost looking like something inspired from Gucci (Harry’s favourite, your heart hurt) but entirely different at the same time. Leon opened the door as you shuffled back and forth to make sure everything was dandy. “Y/n! Oh, how I missed you so much!” Nick greeted as soon as he saw you flip through the crystals that you would embed on the lining of his pants. You smiled and gave him a hug, to which he returned. He looked at Leon and greeted him as well. Leon only replied with a “hey, man” and if it weren’t for Nick not knowing that Leon was gay (they kissed many months ago), he would think that Leon was your boyfriend. “How are you, Nick?” you asked. “Really doing well but better because you’re coming to my party!” he answered. You frowned in confusion. “I’m not going,” you told him. “Harry would be there and I don’t really wanna see him.” “But Y/N…” he trailed. “It’s been so long since we last hung together! If I didn’t know better, I’d say you were avoiding me,” he pouted. Leon decided to exclude himself from the conversation going straight to the kitchen to get some refreshments for your guest. “Nick--” “Just come on to the party and all will be forgiven,” he cheekily grinned. In reality, he was never really mad at you. He understood why you decided to distance yourself from him but he still likes you as a person and wanted to be your friend. You sighed, nodding to his request. He squealed. “Now, where is it? I wanna fit through my special outfit now,” he said. You motioned him to the pieces lying on the couch. “So you wanted to have something hip and vintage, right? Well, here’s a pair of black silk pants. They would be embedded with diamond Swarovskis on the side. Then,” you trailed looking for the surprise that you wanted to give him. “Ah, here’s a special just for you. I worked on it by myself,” you said, showing Grimmy a large hand-made sewn on patch of his caricature. You also showed him ‘GRIMMY’ in a font quite similar to BBCRadio1 in sparkling red thread.

“Wow--I am floored! These are so good!” he exclaimed, carefully taking the patches from you. He observed them, amazed by how far you went onto the detailing of his face to his favourite shade of red.

“Thank you,” you smiled. “It’s nothing. You’re my friend and I wanted to make your day extra special,” you muttered. “I’ll have them sewn on before the event ASAP so you could get it tomorrow or the next if the blank pieces already fit you or the 30th if there are still alterations to be made,” Nick stood up immediately, trying on the pieces over his current clothes and declared that they were the perfect fit. You smiled at him, appreciating how much he appreciated your work.

“I’m really glad to be your friend, y/n. I know Harry will be there and I know what he did but if you ever need me for anything, just call an old man like me, even if it’s just for a laugh,” he said. “The pants and jacket are a perfect fit, by the way.”

-----------

It was the day of the gruelling New Years Eve party hosted by Harry’s friend--Nick Grimshaw. He wasn’t quite sure if you were coming but just in case, he wore the other half of his iconic ‘H’ ring--the gold Gucci ‘S’ ring on his pinky, the ring you gave him on his ring finger, as if telling you that he was still yours to take, and a couple of rings he bought from all around the world. He also wore a custom polo shirt from you, one that you collaborated on with his mum for his birthday. No designer brand could top off the beauty that he was wearing. He was hoping that maybe, just maybe, after you see him tonight, you’d come back to him.

He sighed, anxious to see you—or not. From what he could recall, you distanced yourself from Grimmy. Maybe you rejected his invite, maybe not. Who knows what you were doing anymore? Why should he care? You were with Leon Harris. In his mind, the worst rebound you could ever get. You knew he hated Leon, that prick was a good for nothing douchebag. Harry went over to his collection of liquor, pouring himself a shot of vodka. Who was he to judge your tastes? It was him who broke things off, leaving you with nothing and no one. He knew that your mutual friends sided with him and left you. He groaned as he downed the shot, annoyed at himself. He misses you and he doesn’t know how to take you back.

“Leon, stop!” you groaned as he laid down your revealing party dresses. You were opting for a pair of floral pants and black shirt. Leon, however, disagreed with your choice.

“What? You should show him what he’s missing,” he shrugged.

“There’s nothing to show,” you muttered, taking a red dress off the bed to shut Leon up. You changed, not really minding if Leon was there, seeing as he wouldn’t even think about you that way.

“Look, I know you’ve been wallowing in your sadness since he ended things but it’s been a year, y/n. You should let things go,” your friend sighed as soon as he zipped you up. You sat on your vanity chair and took your curling iron.

“It’s not that easy,” you sighed as your curled the first strand of your hair. You spent the afternoon like that, fixing up your hair and putting on your makeup. Leon sighed, he knew that you were clearly affected by seeing your ex again. Leon was happy though, you maynit see it but you were clearly stressing about what version of you you would present to Harry. Leon was positive that this would end up in some make-up sex but who knows?

Harry arrived at the party earlier than you did. Knowing you, it probably took you hours to get ready for Leon. You loved doing that and you used to dress up for him. Sure, you were a secure woman but you still loved to make sure that your man’s eyes was on you and you only. Still, from a far, he would stare at you, the way he did when you were still together. He immediately made it a mission to look for Grimmy. He was porbably out there, entertaining guests but Harry wasn’t really in the mood to socialize. He was just here to get drunk and see you—if you were even coming.

“There he is!” Nick exclaimed as he saw Harry walk towards him. Nick’s friends looked at the poostar.

“Hey, Nick. Thanks for the invite,” Harry smiled. Nick saw that Harry was clearly uneasy.

“Love the polo shirt but you’d probably want to look like you actually want to be here,” Nick said. “Y/N’s attending the party,”

“Could’ve told me that before I wore this shit,” Harry grumbled. He took a flute of champagne to one of the bartenders walking around and downed it immediately. Nick looked at him incredulously. “If I have to see her, I have to see her while I’m drunk,”

Nick sighed but still guided Harry to the special booth for Nick’s closest friends.

You stumbled in, a little tipsy in the bar to look for Nicky. Nick when you’re sober, Nicky when you consumed alcohol. You were with Leon who was holding your hand, just in case someone bumped in on you and you tripped. Leon sighed, obviously being sober in this situation. He was sure that Harry was here, seeing as there were shitty headlines such as HARRY STYLES WEAR Y/N Y/L/N’S COUTURE IN NICK GRIMES ANNUAL NYE PARTY.

Leon saw it though. He was wearing the special polo shirt you and his mother designed. He knew the intricacies of the polo shirt because on your first and last attempt to date, you rambled about Harry. You told him that instead of the signature tag of the customers with Mademoiselle or Monsieur as prefix, you opted to embroider my love, Harry--a one of a kind polo shirt. Leon has seen him wear the said shirts in Harry’s appearances, even getting the nickname ‘Harry’s special’ by many of his fans.

“Y/N!” Nick exclaimed as he saw you and Leon. You looked at him and immediately sobered up, seeing as Harry was latched onto his shoulder. You looked at Harry, suddenly aware of his presence and your self. He was looking at Leon with jealousy and you knew it, Harry never liked Leon and you walk in here with him in a dress like yours? It was killing him.

“Y/N, Harris.” your ex-boyfriend acknowledged. “Harry,” you nodded. Leon looked at him, aware that your ex was probably killing your friend in his mind. “I see that you have replaced me so easily, y/n,” Harry slurred. He was pretty sure he won’t remember shit tomorrow so he decided to just go with the flow. “Ha! See, Nick? Liquid courage,” he chuckled as he took a swig off of his beer bottle. “Alright, Harry. That’s enough,” you interjected, trying to take the bottle away from Harry. He clearly drank a little too much and you know that when Harry was drunk, he has the tendency to say things he didn’t mean at all. It’s not even a defense or anything, he just does it. “No, you’re not my girlfriend anymore. You can’t control me. Why don’t you go be with that Harris prick? Honestly, angel? You could do way better than that wanker, yeah?” he says, pointing his bottle to Leon who was busy eyeing down Nick.

“Harry--give me that bottle.” you said, clearly annoyed with how things are currently going. Why was he being difficult?

“Do you still love me, y/n? Look, I’m wearing the polo shirt you gave me,” he says, twirling like a little girl showing off her new outfit. “I see you’re wearing my ‘H’ ring, too. I saw it the other day...Instagram. That must mean something, yeah?” he asked, tilting his head to the side. He surrendered the bottle to you.

“Come on, let’s go somewhere so you could sit and clear your head, yeah?” you asked, holding his arm. “Leon,” you called to your friend. “I’ll just help Harry clear his mind. I’ll find you later, yeah? I’m sorry,” you said. Leon only nodded, mouthing a ‘sure’ before talking to a friend Nick introduced him to.

“If you don’t love me, you wouldn’t take care of me like this. Remember when you would do this lot? I miss it,” he rambled. You weren’t sure if he was being serious enough but you decided that either way, your heart was hurting. A silence fell upon the both of you as you sat on the booth.

“Harry, stay here yeah? I’ll see if someone could get you some water,” you said, standing up from the couch. Harry grabbed your hand.

“Please, stay. I promise I won’t say anything anymore. Just...stay here, love? Please? It’s been a while since you were this close to me and tonight, let’s just do things like the old times, yeah?” he asked. You were torn, so fucking torn with what he was saying. Wasn’t he the one who asked for a break? It’s been a year and you missed him. You really do.

“Harry,” you started, staring at his lips. You missed how soft it was, you missed how he kissed you. “Can we, can we kiss?” you asked. Harry sobered up. Were you really asking him to kiss you? He sat up straight looking at you. He inched closer until he could feel your heavy breaths. Your chest was heaving and you were itching for him to get closer. He smiled, taking your chin with his ring clad fingers until your lips met. It was slow and nice, two lovers yearning to be with each other again but soon enough, with too much yearning and passion, your kiss became heated. You didn’t notice it but Harry’s hands soon found your arms, caressing your bare arms up and down, the coldness of his rings against your warm skin a pleasuring contrast.

“Fuck,” he breathed as soon as you both pulled away. “Do you want to take this somewhere?” he asked. You nodded, mind too hazy from what just happened. You collected your bag that was left beside you.

“Let’s use the back door and walk discreetly, yeah?” you asked, Harry was never one to bring drivers during the holidays and so were you. You were intoxicated so you both didn’t want to drive. “Then, let’s just hail a car or something when we’re a little too far away,” you said. “I’ll just text Leon,” you added as you unlocked your phone.

“W-wait, Leon,” Harry rasped.

“You don’t have to worry about him. I’m single and I’m not his type,” you breathed as your grabbed his hand. He wasn’t sure if he should believe you, but nodded anyway. He was too desperate--all he wanted was to feel you close. You both made a beeline to the backdoor and exited, silently thanking the Lord for the absence of paparazzi. You walked, an awkward silence falling between the both of you. Still, your minds were hazy with lust, yearning, and love. You were a little far away when you hailed a taxi, telling the driver to go straight to Harry’s place, seeing as his house was nearer than yours. The both of you were obviously itching to touch each other but you refrained, you didn’t want anyone to see and complicate things.

The moment you arrived at Harry’s door (thank God he cleaned), your mouth was on his. This time, your kiss was more daring and passionate, all curfew thrown outside the window. You moaned as he trailed down to your neck, your back against the wall. He was sucking and licking the spot where your neck and shoulder blades met, your spot as he would call it. You were sure that he would leave a mark in the morning but you didn’t care. You were tugging at his hair, something that he always liked, to encourage him to go lower.

“Come,” he rasped as he took your hand to his bedroom. You both tiptoed in the dark hallways of his massive house until your back met the mattress in his bedroom. “How do you think I feel once I saw you in this red dress?” he asked. You weren’t able to answer his question as he kissed you again, only this time, his hand was playing with the thin straps of your silk dress. He lowered it.

Meanwhile, your hands were on his polo shirt, carefully unbuttoning the material off of his torso. Once you were able to take off the buttons, your hands met his tattooed chest. He moaned at the contact.

“Unzip me?” you asked as soon as he moved his lips down to the skin visible on your chest. He sucked your skin as you raised you body, his hands going underneath you to unzip the tight red dress off your body. He stopped for a moment, looking at your naked chest.

“Fuck, I missed this,” he moaned as he put his mouth on your nipple. You arched your chest towards him, his ring clad fingers kneading your other breast. Your hands were inching towards your underwear, nothing really special because you weren’t expecting this. “Ah, ah, ah,” he taunted, the moment he felt your fingers go lower.

“Harry—“

“No, let me do it, love,” he whispered. His mouth latched on to your other nipple, only this time, his fingers were trailing down to your clothed center. Your hips grinded on his hands, the rings giving you more texture. You were whimpering, begging for your ex-boyfriend to touch you. He chuckled a little bit, pushing your underwear to the sides before teasing your clit. You grounded your hips again, and Harry gave in, flicking the button in between your legs.

“Fuck,” you moaned. “more, Harry…”

“You want this? You want me to fill you up?” he asked, breathy. Quite frankly, his manhood was penting up in his pants. You nodded and Harry moaned, completely removing your underwear. Your hands trailed to his pants, massaging him through his fabric. Your hands immediately unbuttoned his trousers, and he stood up, removing it alone with his boxers. Your hands immediately found his dick, rubbing the precum all over before you pushed Harry onto the bed.

“What do you want me to do, Harry?” you asked seductively.

“Ride me,” he says. He bucked his hips towards your hands, clearly wanting more. “Come one, love,” he encouraged. You sat in his lap, taking his dick in between your hands, rubbing it on your clit for a few times before inserting the tip inside you. “I missed this, fuck,” he moaned. You moaned too, sitting lower until his length was filling you up. “I think you had your fun already,” he taunted, flipping you over. He leaned onto you as he pounded into you a few times.

“Harry, shit, shit,” you moaned. Your hand went to your clit, rubbing it as Harry went in and out of you.

“You just can’t get enough can you?” he asked. Your other hand and legs were around him, your nails digging onto his back. You nodded. “You’re not gonna cum until I tell you to, love,” he said as he pounded into you harder. His hand was immediately on your nipple, pinching and tugging it. It was sensory overload, his hands on your breast, yours on your clit, him inside you, your nails onto him. He moaned, putting his mouth on yours as his tongue entered your mouth. You both felt his thrusts going sloppier and sloppier as your walls started to clench.

“Harry, I’m cumming, fill me up...cum inside me,” you moaned. The popstar only gruntled, obviously bathing in your wetness.

“Cum, princess. Cum on my cock, cum with me,” he moaned as you both came, his cum filling you up and your walls clenching around him.

“I love you,” you whispered, hoping he didn’t notice but he did, stopping for a moment, looking at you. “Let’s talk about it later,” you smiled.

He thrusted for a few more times before removing his girth inside you. He immediately looked for a towel to wipe you with it and you waited. He always did this—you waited, basking in the afterglow of sex.

—————-

It was 4 am in the morning and you were both naked underneath the sheets. You didn’t talk about your confession, sleeping immediately once he wiped down the mess on your legs and he sighed.

It was 4 am and he was sound asleep, his tattooed arm wrapped around your torso. You removed it carefully and he shuffled in his sleep. You watched him, tears springing in your eyes before silently dressing up and tiptoeing until you were outside his room. He didn’t notice it, too sound asleep. You were silently sobbing as you buckled the straps of your black heels, calling for a car. It took a few minutes of you waiting outside his gates, the cold breeze raising goosebumps on your skin.

That was how you spent your New Years Eve and New Years, having sex with your ex and then, regretting it hours later because you told him you loved him.

PART TWO?

happy new years! i hope this is the first / last fic you’ve read for the decade. thanks again! xxxx

taglist:

@giitterysuits / @floral-suits @bree082 @dezzym17 @bouncebackbyers @lolapuffs @belleamoree @demolition-lovers-blog @gorgeouslygrace @styledharry @nervousshoeghostmoney

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