I keep seeing that one specific Josh Hutcherson video all the time everywhere, even in completely unrelated content. I'm going crazy.

It feels like I'm constantly getting "Rick rolled"

what armins phone looks like

• phone in military time

• argues that it is better for some odd reason

• like okay we get it you want to be different so bad😒

• phone theme is blue

• like a beach/ocean theme

• his phone icons being jellyfish or waves

• and each icon isn’t just blue themed- they’re all blue tinted too

• 100% blue

• big widgets he has spotify, weather, and clock

• that’s it

• he never deletes apps

• he still has among us

• it’s just too much worrkk :(

• only social media he has is instagram and youtube

• argues that instagram reels are just as good and doesn’t need tiktok

• his lock screen is a watercolor painting of the beach or flowers

• blue of course

• on his lock screen he has his shared calendar notifications that he shares with eren and mikasa, spotify, and his battery percentage

• every one in a while he switches out the battery with life 360

• his life 360 that he shares with eren and mikasa

• he organized his home screen once and hasn’t updated it since

• he downloads an app and doesn’t take it off the home screen

• so he has one page thats half filled with random apps

• he has his text on his phone small

• only has a few settings on his control center

• light and dark mode, battery saver, wallet, clock, calculator, screen record, camera, and accessibility

• yk the basics

• on the bottom of his screen in the little tool bar he has messages, phone, safari

• slides down to search for an app

• thinks its easier for some reason

• light mode user

• could be 2 in the morning and he’d be texting the group chat phone all the way lit, and his face so white you could see every feature he has

• password is 6 numbers

• uses spotify

• he always has his bluetooth off because he’s scared it will randomly connect to anything, anywhere

• do not disturb automatically turns on at 10pm

• he’s got to get a good night sleep some how

• put screen time on his apps HIMSELF

• goes on and on about how social media is an addiction

• like yea okay but at least you aren’t doing dr*gs

• he made a voicemail in 7th grade and still hasn’t changed it

• he’s forgotten about it

• h-hi this is armin arlert. if you’re hearing this im probably too busy studying or gaming but i’ll get back with you as soon as possible!

• in his little 7th grade boy voice

• his instagram account is private but he doesn’t post anything or have any highlights so what’s the point?

• his ringtone is the auto one

• but it doesn’t matter because he never has his ringer on

• or his vibrate

• he loses his phone and no one can even call it because it won’t vibrate or ring

• notifications on for his games, messages, duolingo, and his email

• his camera roll is all screenshots from his games, pictures of him with his friends, and scenery

• so many contacts

• has people from group projects in freshman year still in his contacts

• watches streamers

• jerma, charli, sinjin drowning

• has 5 tabs max on safari

• the only thing on his phone he ever clears out

• and his phone tabs

• never leaves any open besides music

• rarely ever on his phone

• screen time is a good 3 hours a day average

• he likes his computer better

• he has a 2 year streak on duolingo

• its either french, german, spanish, or hebrew

• i can see him learning a european language

• has a list in his notes of recipes, movies, books

• does he ever cook, watch, or read any of them?

• no

• but he will some day

• and that’s all that matters

RANDOM SEIJOH HCs ACCORDING TO GIGI

a/n: this is a thing i cooked up between doing trig exam and ap gov review akdsjfldskfj

IM PRETTY SURE I ALREADY USED THIS GIF BUT IM WANTING TO RE-DO MY ENTIRE PAGE AND MAKING BANNERS SO THIS IS A TEMPORARY THING AJDJDJJD ALSO I DONT KNOW HOW TO DO THE KEEP READING THING ON THE APP BYE

oikawa def listens to indie music just bc he wants to feel unique and the 'iM diFfErENt fRoM oTHeR gUrLs' vibes

i FIRMLY BELIEVE IWAIZUMI HAJIME IS ONE OF THOSE PEOPLE WHO CHOMPS ON HIS ICE CREAM BC HE LIKES TO FEEL THE COLD ON HIS TEETH AKSJSKSKSK

meanwhile kunimi eats a kitkat like its pizza just CHOMP

makki caNNOT sleep without a pillow between his thighs LIKE LISTEN he has 2 sisters and they all told him its so comfortable and at first he was like,, ??,, then he tried and now cant sleep without it

bUT MATTSUN LIKES TO SLEEP WITH PILLOWS SURROUNDING HIM bc it makes him feel safe and like there are two body pillows on either side of him and hes kinda trapped in the middle aksjskdk

when kyo was younger, he was really short and although he had other pants, he loved this one pair but they were really long on him and he wore it all the time and the part of the pants that touched the ground is torn in shreds

kindaichi steps on the sofa before sitting LIKE puts one foot on the cushion then the other until hes literally standing on the couch before folding to sit with his knees up to his chest (i do this)

watari sniffs his food before eating it no matter if its something he eats all the time or something new, he still sniffs it either way

yahaba is really particular with his feet and he likes to get a really big tupperware (duh one only meant for his feet) and fill it up with warm almost boiling water and he just soaks them

oikawa has sleep paralysis and he oftens hallucinates about aliens in the corner of his room

kunimi does this thing where he makes weird noises with his mouth like sounds of his mouth opening LIKE when youre tastinf something new and you do that sound with your tongue (I DUNNO HOW TO DESCRIBE IT AJDKSKKD)

makki bends his knees just to crack his ankles

iwa sneezes a ton but he has those sneezes where theyre quiet that you dont even notice or really loudly that it just echoes throughout the gym

kyo sleeps with one sock on bc his feet gets cold easily but both socks make him feel really hot so only one sock is perfect

for a tall and hunk of a guy, mattsun is a very light walker like his footsteps are very light and if he wants to, it can be practically silent

watari actually hates vegetables ajssksksk he particularly hates zucchini, eggplants, any vegetables that are that shape

kindaichi likes to stick or lean against walls because to him, they feel cold and can decrease his body heat

oikawa stands and places his feet at V position like \/ instead of ll because his sister did ballet and he was taught that was the right way of standing and it was considered graceful

yahaba has a fear of cactuses

mattsun does so badly in the heat because his body temp runs so high and the hot surroundings make him feel so uncomfortable and so he takes a lot of cold showers

iwa cannot swim like he freaks out immediately when his toetips can no longer feel the bottom and he panics with thoughts of drowning

watari has really small feet that he still buys big kids shoes to save money

kyotani considered playing baseball because he thought baseball bats were cool but he got angry and threw tantrum after missing his first pitch

iwa chomps on a whole raw chili while eating ramen akskksks

oikawa actually hates sweets bc when he was younger, he had cavities and iwa showed him a cartoon of cavities eating his teeth and will make him toothless

kindaichi really really likes hugs but hes too awkward to ask them even from his parents

yahaba chomps on mints so he goes through boxes of them in a week

i feel like theres a boy in the team who doesnt brush their teeth everyday and rubs a towel on their teeth to make it look clean and take mints to hide their bad breath

iwaizumi is actually iron deficient so he bruises super super fast and he even developed iron defiency anemia when he was younger bc his parents didnt catch on which caused him to be put on strong medication for months and still takes it now

WAIT,, OIKAWA IS LACTOSE INTOLERANT BUT HE LIKES MILK SO HE EATS MILK BREAD TO MAKE HIM FEEL NOT SO BAD OR GUILTY OF CONSUMING STRAIGHT DAIRY

seijoh four bonding time is watching gordom ramsey shows and yelling and screaming 'YEA! EXACTLY!' as if theyre also cooking genuises

watari used to eat grapes all the time until his mom got worried and told him if he doesnt stop, he will eventually turn into one. he only eats it every few weeks

when he was younger, kunimi cried because he had befriended a chicken on a trip to a farm and his mom took him to eat fried chicken after and he thought it was Chicky (his chicken friend :"))

kyotani used to stick out his tongue when it was raining so he could taste the raindrops. they taste better than bottled water

one time, during a seijoh sleepover, they dared oikawa to wear his sisters old uniform, skirt and all, and it backfired so everyone turned red and couldnt look at him in the face

their pregame ritual is touching each other's shoe tips

they tried doing yoga at yahaba's house before by watching yoga youtube videos but everyone ended up having to go to the chiropractor after (how did makki even turn into the human pretzel?)

the local gym gets so scared when they see the team coming through the doors bc these men are so LOUD like they HYPE EACH OTHER UP SO MUCH THEYRE SO ANNOYING AKSKSKDK

also never take them to an all you can eat sushi place. if you do, bring them earlier of the day like 30 mins after opening time so the cooks can cook enough for them without running out of ingredients (even then sometimes they still run out)

oikawa used to eat his mom's roses from her garden because he thought it would make his farts smell good like roses

takahiro is a surprisingly good artist like he draws really cool action fighting scenes in the corner of his papers and stuff

in my work: it's canon that iwa is half filo and his nanay used to dress him up in a barong all the time during halloween bc she wanted him to showcase his heritage

yahaba drinks a lot of milk because he hopes to one day grow strong and bulky like the 3rd years instead of being seen as a pretty boy

kindaichi's mom is a hairstylist and she always scolds him for using a lot of gel bc she's always the one who washes his hair

makki never learned how to do taxes and hes had the government knocking on his door a handful of times (BOKUTO AKKDJSKKS)

kyo has a dog: a chiweenie

there's someone on the team who wears those socks with individual pockets for toes

their pinterest is so different from what they look like for example, mattsun has a board of different flower decorations and arrangements

kunimi throws up during intense horror movies

watari's celeb crush is emma watson

the team alternates from different music genres like from ateez and bts to mxmtoon and beach bunny

they still dont know how to pronounce camila cabello's name

theyre all active in social media but only oikawa is on it 24/7 and in all platforms while the others have insta and snap

mattsun has twins as little siblings and he used to get them mixed up all the time that he used to draw a sharpie dot on the girl's forehead to determine she was his sister

watari hates sitting on the floor bc his butt bone hurts really easily so he can only sit on cushions for long periods of time

the team was supposed to have a party but everyone didnt know what to bring so they proved they shared the same braincell by bringing the same thing: a box of pizza

makki's an old soul and prefers to play records on a record player or watch old movies

kyo is surprisingly good at giving massages because he really pushed hard on those tense muscles

kindaichi knows how to crack necks so everyone goes to him a lot to do it (a friend of mine does this and can i say its terrifying yet so good?)

the only one who has a license is matsukawa and thats because granny needs to go to the doctor a lot and he hates her walking by herself and cabs are expensive

kyotani and yahaba are actually,,, lowkey close,,, not like best friends but theyre nice to each other and they got a stick and poke together (yahaba's was: :) while kyo's was: >:))

watari has a collection of mangas (some bl maybe 👀)

WARNING SAD: mattsun’s future job is a funeral person right? he ends up taking care of granny’s funeral free of charge and he had to take a week off because it was really painful for him

oikawa learned spanish SUPER fast to the point he forgets japanese sometimes but there are moments where he forgets both languages and hes just,,,, ???

makki’s unemployed yea but he rooms with mattsun in exchange of cooking because makki’s surprisingly good at cooking

iwa is practically the nutritionist of the team because he knows everything about proteins, carbs, iron, and needed vitamins so they all go to him to know what to eat and what they need

kunimi has lots and lots of shoes but usually only wears 2

kindaichi has a habit of pretending hes chewing gum even though he doesnt have gum, his mouth just chomps and moves with air akasldfjkf

there was a clown phenomenon in america but in their city, they had a mascots and seijoh 4 went around scaring kids :”(

oikawa never manspreads he gets too insecure to spread out like that akdjfkd

kyotani can easily sleep anywhere like he would be standing and just fall asleep or he sleeps with his eyes open

yahaba’s parents own a restaurant somewhere in the city and he works there sometimes

IM REALLY GOING TOO MUCH ABOUT THIS YALL AKSDJFKL

SORRY IM WRITING TOO MUCH I FEEL BAD THAT I HAVENT UPDATED BUT IM IN A CAR RIDE RN AND I WAS ABLE TO WRITE AGAIN AND MY EXAMS HAVE FINISHED THIS WEEK IMMA CRY

PLEASE, FEEL FREE TO REPLY WITH ANY OTHER HCS YOU GUYS KNOW OF SO I CAN PUT IT IN HERE AND CREDIT YOU WITH IT SO WE CAN HAVE LIKE A HCS BOOK FROM EVERYONE BUT THIS IS WHAT I STARTED WITH

oikawa screams a lot according to gigi but he’s actually a really quiet guy and not easy to scare

OKAY YOU GUYS DONT KILL ME I SWEAR IVE BEEN SO TERRIBLE AT WRITING BUT YOU KNOW WHO TURNED ONE TODAY? THIS PAGE!!! MY BABY IS ONE ALREADY 😭😭😭 ANYWAYS, HOPE THIS CAN MAKE YOU GUYS SMILE TODAY AND SCHOOL ENDS NEXT WEEK AND IM ALREADY AT 132 DRAFTS AMSJKSDKSK SO OH MY GOD THERES GOING TO BE SO MUCH COMING AND IM SO EXCITED TO GET THEM OUT 😩😩

soo i guess ive been meaning to take a break from posting for a while but i literally cant like... not use the app a) cause if i delete it then it would update when i reinstalled and that will make it Work Less Good like always... and b) because like. i dont. really want to have any other social media. hell i couldnt even make a facebook account if i wanted to. instagram at this point felt more like an addiction because im so lonely and i cant stand how often people ignore me, or how many of my friends are mutually friends with people who have hurt me. im like a child and i know its a problem. now i cant even talk to anyone normally im so depressed and bitter and i cant help it. i know im hard to text. im trying to be better. i miss feeling wanted and needed. i know phone calls arw awful for everyone now but i also know nobody likes hearing my voice. i try so hard to take breaks when i need to but this year has been so awful and im losing people and im scared of this fucking virus and im only spiralling further every day and forcing myself to seem okay. i stare at this fucking screen because it feels like my only friend and being away from it only makes me feel worse now instead of better. its not fair. i want my job. but i want to finish college. i want to go to university someday and pursue a real career even if i know its a pipe dream. im off track im just. im not okay and i cant be okay. im so sad all the time. i had my fucking heart broken because i opened up to someone and they only wanted me for sex. i want attention. i want love. i wamt comfort and reassurance and i want my fucking parents i want my mom and my dad and my family to feel whole again and it never will. i want sky to love me and think about me and want me the way i want him. i want my little brothets to come home and be safe. i want my dogs. i want to be okay in my own body. i want to be able to reach out to people. i want to be able to go out and help support the causes i believe in. i want to be a student and have a job and an easy way of getting places. i want to not feel like a selfish whiney little baby for wanting these things. i want to live with people who love me and not by myself even if i want independence. i want to not cry every day when i wake up and when i feel so hurt that someone didnt talk to me or i got ignored or im not the object of someones affections 24/7. im regressing and ive felt it since my accident and ive felt so fucking alone since then even though people have loved me and reached out to me and it should be enough. but nothing is ever enough for me and im never enough for anyone. i dont know what to do i cant afford a fucking therapist and there are no therapists out here anyway. i need help and i feel like a child all the time im so i cant fucking handle any of it. i should leave my phone off but i know i fucking cant for work im just fucking miserable i havent been this suicidal in over two years now and i feel so fucking guilty for it dont know what to do

six norms that may be making your family less healthy

via Shane Trotter

What is normal is not normal. The human biology expects sunlight, constant movement, physical novelty, whole, natural foods, close relationships built upon shared purposeful efforts for survival, and a generally slow life pace.

Today it is normal to eat exclusively processed, convenience foods, to remain indoors all day except for trips in our temperature controlled cars, to feel pulled and prodded by constant message alerts, and to sit all day, predominantly with our face in a screen while being passively entertained. Normal is a relative term.

Very few forces are as powerful as the human need to belong. Consequently, we naturally tend towards herd mentality, behaving as the masses do, regardless of personal benefit. In fact, we’ll adopt odd “normal” behaviors without even realizing they directly contradict our desires, or that we could choose not to.

The standard model of life that we’ve been handed has created a devastating global health picture and all signs point to this trend worsening in our youngest generation. Now, more than ever, we must be willing to question what is normal and carve a different path.

Freedom is not just having the ability to behave as we wish, but knowing why we choose those behaviors. Through reflection and education, we truly become free and are then able to craft an environment that pulls our family to health and vitality.

If wondering where to start, I recommend exploring these six norms that may be making your family less healthy.

1. Having “Kid Food” Around

There is a widespread belief that there should be a distinction between kid’s foods and adult foods. I’ll never forget a client telling me how she ate well for most meals, but often found herself snacking on her kid's chips or popping a soda. When I suggested she stop keeping these foods in the house, she responded angrily, “I’m not going to not have chips and sodas for my kids.”

I’ve even seen this in healthy parents who make separate meals for their children so the young ones aren’t subjected to nutritious eating, as if this was a torturous experience. They’ll have roasted chicken, brown rice, and mixed vegetables while making chicken nuggets, mac and cheese, or frozen pizza for the young ones.

We’ve been sold the belief that kids can only eat chicken in nugget form, fish in fried stick form, and that the rest of their diet should come from packaged junk. While it is true that palates have to develop, children have always eaten natural, whole foods.

Fruits, vegetables, meat, seeds, and nuts have been the only available foods for almost all of human history. Roasted vegetables, sweet potatoes, and fish are actually childhood favorites when children aren’t engulfed in a world of Pop Tarts and pudding that only further serves to warp their palate. Without a diet predominantly consisting of whole foods, children are virtually ensured of future struggles with health and eating.

Make it simple. Make meals from foods that could have existed 10,000 years ago and have your children eat what you do. Ice cream and other desserts are wonderful occasional treats, but they should require a special trip, not be an always available temptation.

2. Driving As Your Only Mode of Transportation

For most of human history, human muscle moved us wherever we went. Today locomotion outside of our sanitized home or office environment is typically outsourced to the automobile. We even drive across the work campus or endlessly circle in search of a closer parking spot.

Most people struggle to find time for fitness while neglecting to incorporate normal activity into their everyday life. Why is there a need to drive your kids to school if it is less than a mile away? Why must you drive to work if it is just across town? My daily trip to work only went from 10 to 20 beautiful minutes when I switched to a bike commuting lifestyle.

According to the CDC, 71.6% of Americans over age 20 are overweight. Healthcare costs are unsustainable, and yet we drive when it would be almost as easy to use human muscle.

Help your kids break free of this pattern. What a model it would be to make it standard practice to bike when round trips are 10-miles or less, or to walk to pick your kids up from school until they are old enough to walk home themselves.

Despite modern helicopter norms, this is the goal of parenting: to create self-sufficient people capable of creating a purpose and contributing to something bigger than themselves. As much as it scares us we should want them to have this desire for independence and exploration. It sure beats smartphone addiction.

3. Letting Kids Have a TV in the Bedroom

Our environment is powerful. If cookies are always on a plate in the kitchen, we’ll probably make it a norm to grab one while walking by. Replace that norm with a bowl of fruit or ants on a log (peanut butter and raisins on celery), and our snacking norms change.

Screens are an especially pervasive temptation in the modern world. They bring an infinite number of messages. Nowadays, televisions are the focal point of our homes, constantly beckoning us to sit down and stop conversations. But at least we share the programs. They can provide talking points, mutual laughter, and a communal experience not too much different from the primal experience of fireside stories.

Yet, in a kid’s bedroom, the TV brings no positives and many negatives. It is a constant source of distraction from study, reading, getting out to play, or trying any creative endeavor. It is a pull towards more time in isolation and more ability to avoid dealing with potential family conflicts. Most destructively, it is a recipe for poor sleep.

Adolescents and teens need 8 1/2 to 10 hours of sleep per night but tend to average 7 or less. Absent of this they will be foggy, moody, lacking concentration, and at increased risk for the poor decisions that characterize this age.

Their natural body rhythms pull them towards later hours, but school start times rarely honor that reality. Add extra-curriculars and socializing and it can be very difficult for teens to adopt a healthy sleep schedule. These struggles magnify tenfold when they have a TV in their bedroom, which they’ll inevitably watch from bed.

Dr. Craig Canapari, director of the Yale Pediatric Sleep Center, says that the number one thing you can do to help your kids avoid sleep problems now and into adulthood is, never put a television in their bedroom.

The only rationale I can see for putting a TV in bed is to appease your children, despite their own well-being. You are the parent. Be the parent.

4. Giving Kids Smartphones Without Boundaries

Nothing poses a greater risk to your children than that screen they can walk around with every hour of the day. The phone allows millions of messages to shape unhealthy beliefs and values, it prompts poor posture and sitting, it precludes face-to-face communication and overcoming social fears, and it wraps the mind in a vortex of anxiety and a compulsive need for distraction.

At least with the TV you sit and share a single program with other people. The smartphone isolates and constantly prompts you to search for the next best thing after only a brief superficial scan. Take everything wrong with having a television in the bedroom and multiply that by a trillion with the smartphone.

There is no culprit more responsible for the terrifying state of American physical, mental, and emotional health, particularly in childhood than smartphone ubiquity.

But, what are you gonna do, right? It is the world we live in, right?

Please, parents, piss your children off. Tell them no, not until 8th grade and not without tons of boundaries. Why open Pandora's box too early? I’m sure I sound extreme, but this technology is extreme. While working in schools I’ve watched the lobotomization it renders on a generation and, it isn’t just them.

Parents line the park benches scanning furiously. Grandparents and babysitters take their children to bounce houses at odd hours so they can sit and scan their phones uninterrupted. We’ve all seen tech addiction and we’re all subject to the allure. Unchecked smartphone use is the path to a Wall-E type dystopia.

You can’t pretend smartphones don’t exist and you can’t hide them forever, but you can for a while. I highly recommend checking out the screen use recommendations of the American Academy of Pediatricians and using their Create Your Family Media Plan tool. It is very easy and will prompt you through ideas and nuances you may not have considered.

5. Not Managing Smartphone Alerts

As usual, we should start with our own model. Strong parents make strong kids. More often than not we are constantly pulled away from the moment by email dings, texts, and quick scans that turn into a 10-minute mental mindless scroll. This is only made worse by the Apple watch that now supersedes any phone away boundary to shove messages back in your face. Take that dinner time!

Simple recommendations that can help you take back control of your time and be more present for your family:

Anything urgent should require a call. Go to your settings and silence all texts and email messaging. People will learn this about you and it will recalibrate their sense of what is urgent.

Plan the times you will batch all messaging response.

Plan the times you will use social media, apps, etc. For example, maybe you can batch this to two 30-minute blocks within your day. This takes the negative out and makes the tool work for you.

While doing complex work, turn the phone on airplane mode and focus. You’ll get more done.

After work or as you come to dinner, put the phone on a charger, away from you and your bedroom.

Get an alarm clock. A single function device.

Silence all calls and notifications a couple hours before bed. You can make exceptions for people you mark as favorites. This is quite easy to do actually.

6. Buying Into a Modern Youth Sports Culture

After the smartphone, this is truly the toughest insane norm to tread in the modern world. For most of you reading, youth sports were an amazing, integral part of your upbringing. Here we learned essential social skills, how to work on behalf of a team, and how to practice to improve. We played every sport, building a broad array of physical skills that nurtured a love of moving and play. It’s probably where you first fell in love with training.

Today, these foundational experiences have been completely perverted by conmen looking for easy money and a culture of over the top bulldozer parents, willing to pay any price to convince their child they are the center of the universe. Second graders have “signing days” when their parents pay for them to join the “elite” soccer team.

Third-grade football teams put the kids' name on the back of the jersey and have a “pep-rally” every Friday night before Saturday games. Most disturbingly, at earlier and earlier ages, coaches try to convince players they are falling way behind without ridiculous travel, specialization, and expensive skills coaches.

Elementary school kids will have multiple evening practices per week, late games, and long Saturday tournaments. Family time evaporates under the guise that this is what you have to do. By middle school baseball and volleyball parents have conceded their wallets and their summer to travel ball. The family no longer has the option to vacation other than 1,000-mile trips to play athletes just like the ones in their own city.

Clearly, this is an article unto itself. The biggest take-home message is:

This is not the best way to build athletes. Athletic participation is way down, meaning our talent pool is smaller and more kids miss out on these vital experiences. Furthermore, as detailed in the Long Term Athletic Development model, optimal athleticism follows age-appropriate, balanced exposure to sports.

Youth sports should not be expensive and should not be all-encompassing. All the kids want to do is play the game with their friends. Remember that? We’d just go play sports with our friends without coaches or parents and we grew up doing it. Or, we’d go outside and play catch with mom and dad.

Resist the urge to follow the masses into this crazy debt trap. Youth sports can be an amazing experience, but they shouldn’t be the only experiences. How you spend your time matters. Family dinner matters. Family vacation matters.

“It’s no sign of health to be well adjusted to a sick society.”

Krishnamurti

As usual, any broad rambling list will be full of prescriptions that don’t accommodate or appreciate your unique constraints and needs. There are major exceptions to nearly every point I’ve made, but I will stand by the underlying principles. Our standard model is a cultural conveyor belt towards poor health and dissatisfaction.

The best thing we can do is have the courage to buck the norms and live authentically, pursuing a path we earnestly believe in. This will take strength and require you to be counter-cultural. Your efforts matter. Strong parents make strong kids.

This Week’s Mission

Apply any of the suggestions from these six unhealthy norms. If you are unsure where to start, create a family media use plan. Having boundaries tends to offer a great deal of freedom. Without them, we are constantly pulled and prodded, controlled by a constant flood of habit-inducing notifications.

http://breakingmuscle.com/fitness/6-unhealthy-norms-plaguing-us-all

more:

http://breakingmuscle.com/coaches/shane-trotter

I want to go back to a time before mental illness took control and destroyed all my friendships. 16 seems like a pretty nice age to consider, granted it was still affecting me before this point; after all, I had nearly starved myself at 13-14 years old. i can still clearly remember one time after school when friends and I were hanging out, sitting on the floor near the cafeteria area, and one of the guys shaking their hands in the air (metaphorically shaking my shoulders) and expressing their frustration toward me by saying “god, I just want to rip you out of your shell.” if it wasn’t those exact words (though i’m pretty sure it was) it was definitely something along the same sentiment regardless. but nothing has changed since then. the only way I know to talk to people is through short jokes or shallow encouragement or if im asking a question. god forbid a conversation reach anything below the surface level, I start to panic and not be able to carry on a conversation because my mind always -without fail- begins to race and quickly go blank until it’s all just white noise. I have terrible memory so I don't remember much, but I do remember thinking junior year of high school was either the most fun, or tied with senior year for most fun. I always wonder, what if I had gotten the professional mental health help I needed. ffs my mother found me curled up shivering, crying in my room closet after she unlocked the door with a key, because I was too scared of doing (mandatory for graduating) community service. I was too scared of asking an adult in a position of authority if they needed or would take my help; and what would I be helping them with anyways? plus, having to deal with (effectively) customers was too much of a terrifying thought. how could I stand around surrounded and having to talk to people all day without messing something up or making a bad impression on them. I still feel the same way to this day, except now theres the added layer of resumes and being interviewed-- and this is getting besides the point. I wonder, if i’d gotten a proper therapist or counselor, would I have been better off than I currently am? would I be better at communicating with people? would I have been able to keep in communications with the friends I had during high school? I remember I hung out with Rachel only one time after we graduated, a month later (it was in July for vegfest) and then she texted me a couple of times after that. but then it stopped. I never texted her first and im sure she gave up on me. its unfortunate too because we used to be really into marvel and I thought about sending her a picture of this one big iron man sticker I saw not long after(just to be like “hey look at this really cool sticker I just saw” or whatever yknow?), but was too scared too do it and fell out of contact with her. she never really used social media either so I couldn't even see what she was up to threw any apps or websites or whatever. poor Kristen sent me a message, over a year ago at this point most likely, on Instagram but it literally made me panic every time I thought about it and I never opened it or responded so I still have the (1) notif to this day. I don't use Instagram anymore.those were really the only 2 friends I was semi-close/comfortable with to let my guard down (in different ways) with. in college... fellow art students in art major specific classes tend to be really chill and friendly and easy to get along with but,,, as soon as the semester ends, so does any communication I had with them. id really thought i’d made a friend one time in (surprisingly!) my interpersonal communications class once. she’d asked me to stay back once after the class was over so we could... idk, talk and walk out and down the stairs to out of the building together??? one time, she even invited me to go along with her and someone else to eat and;;;;;;; I did?!?!?!!? I..... I cant keep writing im starting to tear up idk what the point of this was its 430 I cnat sleep goodday/night/evening to snyoen who bother s to readf this (in ant exiast)

ONLINE DATING SUCKS

I don't know where the post will take me, I honestly want to Vlog about it, but since I am not camera ready I will just write it out... For now...

ONLINE DATING SUCKS... and here goes my rant....

Online dating sucks, okay! Granted you can meet a bunch of individuals and get different experiences from it but in the end (at least for me) they all end up being the same. It sucks because I am not a very confident person so I am more comfortable speaking to a guy online then going up to them in person (yes it would require me to approach them for a conversation, we will get back to this). A guy could seem really great by either his photos, bio, or just your conversation and then once out of that like lets get to sort of mingle state you move to texting, or snapchat or who knows what else... and poof... they are gone.... I don't know if its the ONE snap i send saying hey that scares them off but why would you even add me to not CHAT WITH ME.... To begin with if you didn't want to talk to me don't respond, I am okay with that, and I am use to being ignored... BUT you go out of your way and just block someone is mind boggling.... I get it you don't want to talk to me, but before you leave me in the dark just tell me you’re not interested because honestly I likely am not either.... but I question myself with this almost every day, why? because I am always left with so many unanswered questions... The guys tell me they want to hang out, or get to know me and then just go away, like i shouldn't care but it’s putting me in a weird mental state of mind. I know I am not unattractive, and I am told by multiple people my personalty is awesome and they don't understand why I am single, so why is it so hard for me to even keep in contact with a guy?

The real, not accurate or proven answer... I like to blame Karma. I was a BITCH in high school, and am still one now, but I have decently matured at this point to be able to recognize what I use to do was wrong. But what did I do exactly, any guy that showed interest that didn't fit my type i would turn my back to and ignore them and laugh... that was RUDE of me, and I regret ever being that rude. But that was also over five years ago and I think Karma should forgive me now..

Why don’t guys approach me? Im still trying to figure this out, because the only time I am approached is when I am on a date and my date is in the bathroom, or if they are REALLLY drunk... again I know I am not unattractive but I also know I don't always look the most approachable (I am working on it, I promise)..

If you can't tell I have been on these apps/sites for some times and I am little annoyed. The shallow guys who express interest and block me have finally bugged me enough to make me delete all social media and take a break. It happened with snap chat mainly, and I deleted it and it was eye opening, I loved it and wish I had never re downloaded it (for a guy who wanted to snap me and then blocked me). I also lay down the law at first which much scare a guy to think I want commitment, but I don't hook up. I’m over that game and I don't like feeling used, it doesn't mean I need a relationship but it also doesn't mean I don't want to get to know someone and hang out. 

I’m ending this rant now because its all over the place and I need to stop getting heated over dumb people...

but message me your experiences so at least I’m not alone with feeling like these guys kind of suck right now

I really don't know where to being or how much detail to go into but I've had enough of my dating anxieties to finally post on this subreddit for help.For some context on the stalking issue: this began when I was a sophomore in high school. The police and my family believe it was this one guy at my school (and possibly his mother who was one of my teachers there as well. It's complicated and messed up). Lets call him X. All I ever was was nice to X as I'd like to think I'm a kind and genuine person to most people. All I ever did was briefly say hi in the hallway or carry very short conversations (but nothing outside of the realm of common decency). After knowing X for about half a year he asked me out and I politely turned him down and at the time he seemed fine about it. But a month or so later someone started putting letters on the windshield of my car talking about their infatuation with me but their disgust for me at the same time. It got worse when I stopped driving to school and letters started coming to my home. The longer it went on the worse the contents of the letters got. The only way to describe them would be depraved to the point we had to have extra security at my prom. My family was also friends with our mailman so he would always let my parents know if something weird in the mail was delivered to us but soon they would appear in the mailbox unstamped and even on Sundays. We set up a security camera but the letters just became consistently delivered through the mail service after that. During this time, X cornered me again after school to ask me out and I of course said no. He seemed agitated but I made an excuse to quickly leave.When I went with my parents to tell the police and show them the evidence we had they said there wasn't much they could do. They also told me, directly to my face, that "this just happens a lot to pretty girls." I cried right then and there and that comment really made my anxiety worse because if the police can't do anything about it who can? In the end, they did interview X and his mom but nothing came out of it. There are more reasons why Im convinced it was X but Im too nervous to post any more details.Even after I went off to college the letters still came to my parents house and I felt incredibly guilty and depressed because of all the anxiety it gave them. I did get some counseling to help with it especially when I started seeing X on campus. I later learned that X did transfer to my school. The letters only stopped when my parents moved out of the country over a year ago. I'm about to move as well but neither of our reasons are connected to the stalking incident.All in all, this lasted for about 6 years. During this time I was in a serious relationship for over a year but my parents told me not to tell my bf about X. Their reasoning was that they didn't want him to worry about it and for it to cause any problems in our relationship but I know that it did cause me to be more closed off at times and not so open with him and that's one of the many reasons that lead to us breaking up. At one point when we went to a HS football game together I panicked when I saw X in the crowd and told my boyfriend briefly about the reason I was anxious and didn't want X to see me. To his credit he did try to comfort me but when he said "he doesn't seem like a bad guy" and made light of it I shut down from ever bringing it up to him again. I don't blame him too much though because what high schooler is equipped to deal with any stalking situation?Because X even tried to contact me on social media I've even limited my online presence. My best friend (S) helped me to be brave though and about 2 years ago helped me set up an account on a dating app. S knows all the details about X and thought this might be a good way to take baby steps back into the game. However I kept getting scared and flaking on guys until S convinced me to try going on a date and that she would even go to the same restaurant just to sit nearby and make sure I was doing ok. The guy and I hit it off but days later when he started drunk sending pictures of my apartment at night I cut things off and deleted the app. Months later I did go on two dates with another guy that went ok but again got really anxious and cut that off too.I've left out so many details because I'm still scared to put out too many identifying factors online but at the same time I want to put this part of my life behind me. I do have a select group of close guy friends and I really trust them so much. I know that good guys are out there but it's hard for me to cross that threshold of trusting someone as a friend to trusting them as a bf and be vulnerable enough to be romantically involved even though I never did date X. I want to be able to date again but just don't know how to safely let my guard down. via /r/dating_advice

i realized i spend so much time on social media, and basically use my phone as my 'crutch' because it's something that will simulate me very slightly while also requiring very little effort like instead of laying in bed all day, or staring at a wall zoning the fuck out for hours on end, or sitting and trembling because i can't stop thinking about something, i just open an app and scroll i used to read, i used to draw, and now both of those things have been taken from me. nothing is interesting enough for me to pick up, or when it is i can't retain any of the information on a page, and I'm at the point where im too scared to draw or paint or sketch anything because it never comes out right and i just see it as wasted time talking to people is not only stressful, but it seems like everyone and their fuckin brother has their own little device that they pay more attention to than the people (me) they're talking to. i try so hard not to be that person, i try not to pick my phone up in a conversation, and that effort it's never extended to me and it seems like every. single. interaction. just gets worse and my effort is for fucking nothing i don't know it's like. my phone isn't the problem. the social media isn't the problem. you can take it all away, and believe me people have (and i have from myself) but ill be the same. i really try to do things, normal things, it just never seems to work. so yeah, my phone is a fuckin 'crutch'. damn right it is. ill be over here finding a split second of happiness in this funny dog video i just found