💕 🧁 🎀 🐇

(via Ritas tiktok)

...

Asking my depression and my cold for a compromise so i can stop feeling like fucking shit all the goddamn time

I’m so sorry to bombard your inbox yet again Fujii but I am losing my mind with homework rn and I must know what your headcanons on Dusknoir’s methods of comforting are🙃cuddling? words of affirmation? acts of service (fixing food or bringing blankets)? I need some escapism and a three month long mental vacation so bad rn fujii it’s absolutely unreal😭😭😭

Ask and you shall recieve!!

Okay in terms of comforting, Words of affirmation is Dusknoir’s go-to. On one hand, he does have a way with words if we’re both being honest! Main-game he is super clever with how he uses them to gain all of Treasure town/Lake Guardians’ trust. (AND THE ENTIRE, GRASS CONTINENT IF IM NOT MISTAKEN??? THE CHARISMA OF THIS WORLD RENOWNED GHOST.) But on the other hand… very good with his words in terms of being super deceptive, as well as persuasive. So that being said— I feel like he’d be articulate with using his words in a gentle, low growl. It does take awhile for both Ribbons and Aimilios in particular to trust his words again, but once they do, it’s… nice.

That being said— his second form of affection (to me at least) is physical affections. I keep thinking abt how wonderfully you put into that one post where Dusknoir’d give the best hugs, lest he trusts himself first. Very, very strong ghost arms, mixed with a soft, fat belly. He’s actually so perfect for iT—

…He’d be intimate with Grovyle and Celebi, as he would be gentle and soft with Ribbons and Aimilios. (At first because he doesn’t trust himself enough to put any real pressure despite how much the two tell him they’re okay… With him and his touch.)

…But once he’s over that hurdle, he continue’s to treat them so delicately because they are just. So precious and dear to him. And by the rare chance he does— he might cave and hug them very tightly near a close-call death situation, or if one of the kids are in need of comfort.

(He also… may or may not get to a point where he gets too comfortable with it, that the cloaked ghost-type just randomly picks up and carries the grass, fighting/steel, fairy type.) (Which he catches himself, slightly apologizing for being so… clingy. Yet continuing to carry the other three. Whom which allow it.)

(I CANT RLLY SAY CELEBI CAUSE AT THAT POINT HE’D BE YOINKING HER OUT OF THE SKY AND I THINK HE’D BE AWARE OF T H A T AHKFJCOSJAOFJ7) (She probably just joins in whenever Dusknoir is carrying Grovyle specifically, fluttering on his neck ruff, or when all three are being charioted around by the big ghost, with the pink fairy jokingly floating down and adding herself in, much to Dusknoir’s embarrassment.)

Since your Lone Star answers were so great and IF you feel like it….what would you want to see for the original recipe characters?

OH BOY my initial reaction was that i might have less to say about 911 prime bc they actually get real character arcs (🙃)… but that was not the case lol

eddie is also easy i want him to have his arc about being a deeply closeted man figuring it out. comphet to having some more problems and issues to gay realization. eddie and marjan are holding hands in my minds eye. you were written gay you just don’t know it yet

hen i want to have more captain’s seat turmoil! i liked what they set up in 702 but it was resolved so quickly we didn’t really get a chance to explore it. maybe bobby is a little hurt after the cruise so we get a bit more captain hen? it’s an interesting dynamic for her, she wears it well but clearly doesn’t feel Completely at ease with it (“don’t call me cap”) so I’d love to see some breathing room around it to let it play out

ravi i swear to god if they don’t give me a ravi begins im going to do something drastic

chim I’d love to see have some conflict on the job! not with the crew but with a call or something. we see him having relationship insecurities etc bc of calls he goes on, but i feel like we haven’t seen him challenged by an emergency During that emergency in a while… idk what that means specifically but he’s an EXTREMELY competent paramedic and firefighter, i want to see what it would take to make him waver! also more girldad chim :)

karen. more of her. more karen always and forever. I don’t even care in what capacity i just want to see her on my tv

maddie I want to see get to be silly!! i want to see all of that joy and happiness she EARNED by clawing her way through her own mind, and the rest of her life. I’d love to see her get to tell off her parents (a la “love me anyway”), I’d really like to see them unforgiven. i want her and Eddie to hang out also

buck breakdown era WHEN! i know the end of last season got a little ??? which i expect is because they didn’t know if they were getting picked back up again and wanted it to feel like A Conclusion just in case, but i want buck to have a full breakdown. death and spare parts and donor not dad and in case of emergency break glass guardian. i want him to finally lose it for real. he had his shut down era now i want him to boil over :) also more uncle buck and uncle albert!!

athena i want you to have to question your morals and beliefs and I want you to get to be less of a cop gjfhdhf her begins episode makes me so mad I think she should get another one where her oaths are confronted and she gets to let herself choose humanity over law

bobby… oh boy what could we wish for. i think I want them to bring back around the blood thing, where he got a reason to keep living (and maybe parallel it with buck or smth? give him a place to land?). even if it’s not a whole storyline i want to hear where he’s at about that now!! it’s been a long time since we’ve seen him like that, i want to see him revisit what that means after everything he’s built for himself here. I would also love to see buck and bobby acknowledge the father/son dynamic to each other! buck’s said it to TK and bobby said it to may and they’ve mentioned it in a dismissive way during a half reprimand but i want them to acknowledge it for real <3 maybe get a bobby defending buck and/or maddie to the buckley parents

misc: i STILL DESPERATELY want an all-kids episode where may has everyone’s kids at her apartment while the parents are at some kind of first responders and their spouses event and they have to scooby doo a mystery by themselves, please for the love of god i need them to talk about the will again before i explode, i want eddie and karen to hang out and be best friends, more josh and maddie, hen and buck should get drunk again, i would actually also love to see more of lucy!

[housesitting & snowed in send enrichment to my enclosure]

Tsukumo Yuki continued to occupy my brain for the third week in a row so may I request some Yuki x reader in which Yuki tries to help reader relax by spontaneously taking them on a date 👀

all this yuki content😭 ok yeah that sounds fun to write! also have u read 206???💀

Paring: Yuki Tsukumo x F!Reader (i hope u dont mind loll)

warning: none🙃

(reader is working in the police force after quitting on being a Jujutsu sorcerer lol)

You ran your fingers through your hair as you kept staring down the paperwork in front of you. There were so many words on it and your brain was racking with other thoughts separate from those papers on your desk. Your boss had given you a ton of papers to fill out from the last crime scene you'd previously investigated.

The tea you'd just made did nothing to help you concentrate as you kept tapping your finger against your scalp.

The clock kept ticking as the seconds passed by, turning into minutes, and you still haven't gotten down a single word.

Soon enough, your girlfriend, Yuki, walked through the door and proudly (and obnoxiously) marched through your apartment and opened your office door.

"Good evening, my love! I've been given yet again, another day off! Those annoying higher ups better start assigning me missions sometime soon! I couldn't tell you the last time I fought a curse!" She exclaimed as she kicked open your door, finding you with your fingers in your hair. Seeing as you didn't respond, she marched over and squeezed you with her big arms.

"You ok, honey? You seem a little.." She trailed off. You finally let a genuine smile stretch across your face as your hand trailed up to her forearm. "Stressed?" You finished, turning to face her. She nodded before glancing over and seeing the thick stack of papers.

"Jeez, was the case that serious?" She questioned with a judgmental face. You shook your head, "No. This case had multiple victims and I had to fill out what information I knew for each victim on every paper." You grumbled before turning back in your spinny chair. She frowned before reaching over and snatching the papers from you before you could get the pen back on the paper.

"Hey! I need that! Those papers are supposed to be given back by tomorrow and I've had since Saturday to do them!" You yelled, getting up and attempting to reach over Yuki's tall figure to grab your papers. "If you've had all weekend to do them, why'd you stall up until now?" She asked with a smirk. You frowned before attempting to reach your arm around her built shoulders once again. No luck.

"Besides, what's the worst that could happen if they're just a tad bit late?" She asked still keeping the papers behind her back. "Well, there's the possibility I could probably lose my job if I don't turn those papers in. And I don't suspect that we could be living off the minimum wage you get paid as a Jujutsu sorcerer with how little missions you get assigned." You said before reaching behind her for the third time and successfully getting the papers back in your hand.

"Well, you crime scene investigators do get paid a lot of money, so I guess that's a fair point. Anyways, you're taking a break. I bet you've been working on those papers all day today since you got home." She said before dragging you by the hand. You scoffed.

"At least let me get my jacket, jeez! I'm not trying to freeze out there!" You yelled before reaching for your coat and finally set foot outside the door.

..

..

The cold air hit your face as you stepped out of Yuki's car and onto the sidewalk while you heard the other car door shut with a thud.

"Seriously? Food? I ate a while ago." You griped before Yuki started walking towards the door. "Whattt?? I thought you loved Mediterranean food!" She exclaimed just before you got closer to the door with her.

"I do. It's what I ate earlier." You reminded with a small smile. She huffed before opening the door. "What's wrong with having it again?"

"Nothing." You replied with a soft chuckle.

---

AHHH im sorry i took to long to write this :(( also sorry the endings bad💀 i didnt know what else to write :/

I was watching the commentary of One Minute earlier and it got me thinking of the recurrent orbital injuries Jesse sustains over the series. Between the smashing his face into a rock in the pilot and Hank assaulting him, his left eye socket alone has been at the very least fractured twice. Not to mention the right side getting injured when [REDACTED] in Ozymandias. I’m genuinely surprised he didn’t have to have it surgically repaired. Goodness that’s not to mention the head trauma and multiple concussions he sustained.

Do you think his vision will be effected long term? Would he even have had time to notice a change in his vision with how crazy his life was until he got to safety? I can imagine migraines and seizures being issue. I just wish someone would whisk this fella away to a neurologist (And a good one! I’ve seen my share of bad ones🙃) ASAP.

Again I’m sorry for opening Pandora’s box trunk, but this is fresh on my mind and it is just rattling around in my brain and I had to consult someone else or my mind would explode.

(officer who is in retirement being called back in for one more big case voice) goddamn. im getting too old for this shit.

specifically regarding the orbital injuries, ur absolutely right that after getting his left socket likely fractured twice, he might need surgical repair. most repairs of orbital fractures are relatively simple, especially if they're rim fractures like i suspect his are in these cases (he probably could've gotten it done quickly in the hospital after the hank beating), but even with surgery and after that injury to the right socket as well, there's a high chance of him developing double vision. orbital fractures aren't necessarily correlated with vision problems (unless of course we're talking about a fracture that involves direct injury to the eyeball as well), but in tandem with the head injuries, the chance of double/blurred vision is pretty high and problems with eye-tracking and peripheral vision are likely. also i suffered an orbital fracture back in august after falling during a seizure and they hurty :(

knowing jesse, he probably wouldn't even notice a change in his vision (jesse strikes me as the kind of person who would go thru life like "damn. crazy how everything's blurry all the time huh" as an adult and everyone around him would be like. oh god have u ever had an eye exam??) and if he did, it'd be at the bottom of the list of Issues (diplopia can be transient too and its not exactly easy to treat when its the result of this much trauma). but u all absolutely KNOW how i feel about getting jesse to the nearest quality neurologist as soon as he sets foot in alaska. even divorced from my au, seizures are going to be a HUGE possibility from all that head trauma/concussion injury + yo-yoing blood sugar. add exposure to chemicals and starvation to the head injuries, and symptoms like migraines, limb weakness/tingling, and memory loss are basically guaranteed.

when u compound severe physical and neurological distress with the psychological distress of surviving Literal Hell On Earth and Losing Everyone u Love, it's actually. really, really hard to picture his early time in alaska as anything but scary and painful and miserable :( like yeah he has this freedom and he's "Safe", but being alone and living in a body and mind that have been legitimately torn to shreds and are almost beyond his own recognition is somehow worse than captivity. i mean, jesse's young and isn't exactly up to snuff on like biology and physiology, he doesn't KNOW all the things that are "wrong" with him (a lot of which can be fixed or alleviated!!) and so its scary to have all this pain and these symptoms along with the debilitating psychological scars. thats why its SO important that he see a neurologist ASAP after getting to safety: he Needs someone, someone who is caring and wise and has no reason to distrust or hurt him, to look objectively at his problems and put names to them and tell him how they can be treated. like jesse is absolutely going to live with chronic pain and certain symptoms for the rest of his life, but to have Names for these things and Ways to cope with them.....to See them from a more objective standpoint, not as curses and suffering he deserves to continue serving out his "sentence" but as pieces of baggage that are not inherently good or evil.....like that's going to at least open the door for him to start seeking other forms of treatment and accepting help instead of suffering alone with his pain as some kind of self-laceration or some desperate, misguided attempt to isolate his pain to avoid it Contaminating anyone else

i hit a couple milestones on tumblr and ao3 in the last few days and it’s very,,,,,overwhelming lol so instead of losing my shit over that, i’ll do a lil introduction (that i’ve never done, i think 🤔)

hello! welcome to my page <3

i’m padfootastic everywhere, but i go by penny online!

i’m an adult and though i’ve not posted anything too risqué yet, there’s always the possibility i might so uh, keep that in mind pls?

this is a no terf zone. we don’t support that kind of hateful rhetoric here.

ask box + inbox are always open! i love talking, even if im a bit terrible at the actual communication bit itself, so drop by whenever u like. prompts are always welcome too 💜

my favorite characters are—no surprise, i’m sure—sirius, james, and harry! the sirius & harry dynamic is my favorite thing to write about. prongsfoot in any capacity, but especially qpp, is the love of my life <3

i’m a scorpio (so uh, heavy projection on sirius sometimes. beware)

i love oceans and beaches and lakes and swimming pools. i think i’m part-fish, actually. which makes it even more sad that i’m in a land locked city :(

i’m trilingual! english is teeeeeechnically my third language, so that often bleeds into my writing as well. ignore any weird issues & metaphors & SPaG errors pls n thx 🙈

my posts are always tag-heavy because i love adding commentary to everything!!! it’s so much fun!! adds flavor and spice!!

My Works

foundations of decay - gen. ongoing wip! set post-gof, ft. independent, smart harry taking charge of his life. sirius & harry bonding.

glimpses of us - collection of all my tumblr drabbles/oneshots. featuring harry, sirius, james, next gen kids, random OCs.

(everything on tumblr’s under ‘pen’s writing’ and ‘tumblr works’)

since a list of everything would be tedious and take too long—i deal mainly in oneshots 🙃—i’ll just link my favourites!!

a home for you (for me) - 6.2k. Gen. A nebulous universe where qpp James & Sirius coparent Harry who wants to become Harry Potter-Black.

shovel talk - 2.4k. Background Jily. Sirius gives Lily Evans a shovel talk : )

i fall to pieces (when i’m with you) - 6.5k. Prongsfoot. James makes Sirius’ blush, that’s it. The whole fic is just that.

go easy on me (i was still a child) - Gen, 13.8k. Postwar, Sirius-returns-from-the-veil and discovers already Harry has a tattoo when he tries to take him for what he believes is his godson’s first- cue feels and emotions and tears.

i won’t ever let go of you - Gen. 8.4k. Set in OoTP. Molly says the wrong thing to Sirius and protective!harry erupts. Lots of bonding and affection.

home is wherever you are - Gen. 3.5k. Set in OoTP. Sirius’ scent—cigarettes; clove and tobacco and smoke—has always reminded Harry of safety & home.

it’s always been you - Gen. Set in OoTP. Sirius finally stands up for himself when Molly accuses him of treating Harry like James.

where you go, i’m going - Gen/QPP. 3.2k. Prongsfoot!!! and tattoos!! Outsider Remus POV into the close knit bond between James & Sirius.

Sirius Black: The Godfather - Gen. 7.7k. Mostly pre-canon/canon compliant. Background Jily but mainly focusing on s&h. a series of one shots highlighting the godson-godfather bond. (the first time i delved deep into my fav duo!)

okay, i’ll stop here 😭 but! i have a lot of assorted one shots on my ao3 so check it out if any of this sounds interesting. my motto for writing is ‘read what u wanna see in the world’ hence why everything is so…self-indulgent.

thank u for being here!! i appreciate everyone who reads/interacts so much i can not put it in words :”)

I’d be lyin’ if I said my eyes didn’t roll back at Hoseok tellin’ Dr. OC to close her eyes

Had my kitty cryin’

And the heart🥺 so romantic

I’m glad OC is his doctor and not me cuz we would have screwed in that room…while he was still bloody

I’d die for the D; Im not even playin’

So feral you would have thought I was a Nightmare too😭

I have no shame in saying that Im no good for him

I need psychiatric help😗🙃

LMAOOOOOO okay you’re not alone in that. The sheer amount of people that are losing their mind over bloody murderous Hoseok is hilarious and also very relatable.

MC has amazing self control, but I wonder just how long it’ll last 🤔

HI OK IM JUST HERE TO SAY THAT WHOEVER MADE BOO WEAR THAT TOP DESERVES A RAISE ‼️‼️ I cannot im freaking out omg can you tell I'm losing my mind over seungkwan's top because YES

also jeno and chenle and jungwoo :((( I was looking forward to more svt nct interactions then this happened :(( annd I don't think I've asked you this but how did you find beatbox? I absolutely love it like its such a chill song and um lelehyuck ++ chenle high note !! absolutely love lelehyuck's styling this time like 🙃 I love being wrecked by them <33

have you seen how minghao greeted half of dream lmao including a handshake w mark!!!!!! so cool !!!!! never thought hao would befriend mark before hoshi did 😭😭😭😭

i liked beatbox!! the song is super cute and the bsides are lovely !! can't agree w the styling part tho 😭😭😭😭 not really loving it for most members so far, it sucks they can't promote now tho i miss them:(

tag game!

tagged by @le-trash-prince

Last song listened to

live version of flowers by little simz cause its one of those songs that make me feel like im ascending. like the instrumental has that almost floaty yet deeply emotional vibe that a lot of lowkey/emotional simz songs have, her flow in it just itches my brain right, her lyrics are sooooooooo !!! like they make me want to scream, the singing is great it literally is so perfect and the live trumpet solo bit hits so hard to me god what a song

Fav color

lowkey don't have one but im really feeling like diluted green recently... call it being stuck in a cold snap in january but yeah

Currently Watching

shows i am actively watching:

killing eve (ive been putting off watching season 4 for a few weeks now tho.... i dont want it to end)

just started playboyy the series last night and am losing my mind over it 🫡

rewatching abbott elementary cause i missed gregnine and also needed a good laugh this january

ones ive recently finished but have scenes i feel the need to watch at least weekly

kinnporsche

only friends

shows i am in a perpetual state of rewatching as a source of comfort:

run bts

haikyuu (obviously)

she-ra and the princesses of power

abbott elementary (as stated above)

Last Movie

the new mean girls musical that came out because i wanted to watch renee rapp be pretty and mean for an hour and a half straight

Sweet/Spicy/Savory?

honestly all three? but also im one of those chronically ill ppl that needs like a shit ton of salt every day... but i also think any savory meal that isnt overly salty should be very spicy... but i also love chocolate.. so yeah all three

Relationship Status

complicated 🙃

Current Obsessions

vegaspete fanfiction 🫡

Last Thing You Googled

the schedule for vnl 2024 games cause my ass is trying to get to texas in may to see my girls play in person

i have ommitted the picture option because my camera roll is entirely screenshots of memes and shows im watching... idk what that says about me....

hiii < 3 grabbing my pjs & pillows and joining the sleepover! tell me about your top 5 hq & op blorbos (separately) 👀 im so curious

ai <33 hiii and welcome welcome ✨let me fluff ur pillows lovely 💕 i would 100% match pjs with youuu 👀

ohhhhh 😮‍💨 hq & op?! what are you doing to me?! 🫣

okay, let’s dish a bit in this sleepover 🫠 feel free to judge bc i swear i can’t have order in my thoughts rn 🤧 you really hit with this question!

HQ top 5:

1. Kuroo — hubby right here 🥰 that’s all there is to say. no matter who came and went in hq, kuroo stayed as my no. 1.

2. Atsumu — the side piece i never knew i needed. he’s so chaotic it’s everything! might annoy me but otherwise it would be so boring 🥹

3. Bokuto — sunshine all over. i’m telling you — this man would make each of my days a whole lot happier and peaceful 🧡

4. Kageyama — he’s me in group projects 😂 i love his mind and how it works on the court. geniussss.

5. Oikawa — male spirit animal 👀 we share *cough* traits.

OP top 5:

1. Luffy - hi there! ✨ i’m a certified Luffy simp. i love this boy to death 💕 he’s literally THE SUN.

2. Robin — female spirit animal; look at her and there you have my personality 🙃

3. Law — brains, looks, personality? ticks all of my boxes from head to toe. if i start writing here, i’d never stop. ❤️

4. Zoro — he was my first love at first sight 😳 might lose himself if left alone bc no sense of direction but i have a massive soft spot for him — just .. argh 🫠 such a man!

5. Chopper — i just love him beyond explanation. bet his cuddles are the best ✨ took a liking to him since the first moment and it grew ever since!

Okay but this was hard af 😭 it doesn’t do justice because i want to have more characters on the same spotttt 🫠

i will mention this: portgas d. ace holds a heavenly spot over all of them 🥺💕

Look .. I rambled 😮‍💨 You broke my brain 😂 i’m coming for you 🏃🏻‍♀️

Hi! Yaqui anon (again lol) So I was doing some thinking about what you were saying in your responses, and ngl, I think I’m at another crossroads. You really emphasized the importance of connection when it comes to reconnecting, and I realized that, to my knowledge, there are no family members, either immediate or extended, who are enrolled in the tribe or practice the culture. The only thing I have is basically a family story and information online that could honestly be inaccurate (I think I mentioned that I saw tribes connected to ancestors in my research online, though I’d ideally like to actually view the uploaded records and not rely on information that anyone could input and that isn’t actually based on data from records (literally just learned that today so yayyy 🙃🙃) Unfortunately I can’t view the records that might have ancestors’ tribes listed on them without a paid subscription to the site.

I’m not going to lose all hope of trying to reconnect just yet and I’m still going to reach out to relatives, distant and not so distant, for any info, but rn it’s looking like reconnecting and claiming I’m Yaqui may not be my place. I won’t lie and say the thought isn’t upsetting to me, but I know I’ll get over it, and better to figure that out and come to terms with it now than insert myself in spaces that aren’t mine. If you have any advice— maybe I’m missing something— I’d appreciate it very much! Thank you again for being so gracious and informative with your former replies. Take care and be well 🌸

Ill put this one under a cut just in case it gets long. sorry if its not best written. i had to take an edible for body spasms so im a little drowzy

connection isnt just to family since someone could not have family or want contact and thats fine. my dad is Yaqui but hes not Yoeme. hes just Yaqui by blood. Also hes a bigot. He SAYS he cares and wish that he could learn but i think hes lying and would rather just be white. he also says no one on the yaqui side wants to talk to him. like huh really? i wonder why, trumper??

connection is more for community. connection looks a lot of ways, not just talking to people, not just learning. like for me, language is what makes me feel connected. even though im just learning.

for someone else it might be activism. it might be talking to someone in the same boat as you. it might be listening to music, or gettinf envolved. connection could be donating for projects that benifit the community if thats all you can do.

and especially for reconnecting its not going to happen all at once. its going to be rocky, and its going to be drawn out. there is never going to be a time where it all falls into place and you can check reconnected off on a list

it can be as much or as little. but there has to be some tether. like i said, just taking a title and then doing absolutely nothing isnt it. like..

ok so im trans and disabled. big identities for me. i never know when pride is, or trans day of visibility. i dont know news about trans issues unless i see it on my dash. sometimes if i read stuff that doesnt effect me, or even does, i dont feel anything. or rather im not emotionally affected. basically, i support trans rights 100%, just sometimes some things feel meh even if its dire. if that makes sense. i still care!

but being trans makes me happy and proud and that is just who i am. i am always trans. even when im not in the community actively. and this can also be attributed to passing, white privilege, etc.

and with disability its the same, even if its something that is very relevant to me. thats just how my adhd mind is.

and i felt bad about it for a long time bc i felt, of im really trans or really disabled then i have to be an activist and do the most and fight for the community!! but theres nothing wrong with being in the community but engaging when you feel like it

so connection is going to be tailored to you, and whats relevent to you as a person. like identities always sounds like.. a jacket? but its just you. strip everything away and being disabled, being trans, being native, being a religion is still there.

again its never going to feel enough which is why you have to focus on you rather than how youre percieved. its so hard lol. at least for me.

But in terms of proof, im in a slightly similar boat? My cousin has papers which he says he has that indicate that my great grandma was full Yaqui. which lines up bc (BQ talk for sake of thr conversation) im 1/8th, which makes my dad 1/4th, and my grandma half. i think my grandma. and then my great grandma as 100%. which unfortunately i never got to meet. ive also been told he thinks a cousin lives on the rez in arizona. but other than that i dont know anyone other than my cousin who is connected or even attempting to reconnect

So again it lines up. but its really hard to get that info. and getting that info is especially hsrd when you have anxiety or are shy. which can seem like

well if its important enough, then you can work through it and should. but thats why we have to focus on us. push a little past what makes us comfortable, but ultimately dont beat yourself up for not being able to interact with people.

and youre so right, i think you have a great mindset- because yeah its not about searching to be native or yaqui. its not fingers crossed let me be native

its about a missing puzzle piece. and if the puzzle piece you find is actually not the one you thought it was, what matters is still finding the right piece

also i would love to know where u get your info and that subscription site, unless its the ancestry.com shit. that makes me mad. everytime it shows up with info it gives me a money screen

also if you want if youre on ancestry.com or 23andme we can add each other. who knows maybe we're related lol only if youre down. ill give my name so you dont have to publicly. but you said youre shy so its cool if no

otherwise idk how anyone does genealogy. like my jewish side has a lot of info and italian from one of my cousins who collected a bunch of stuff. and then on my dads side it goes to my grandma and it doesnt fill anything in.

but yeah even if you dont feel comfortable claiming yaqui yet, you can still connect to the native community

and at the end of the day a lot of native ppl dont know their tribe they decend from. they are still native. just from an unknown tribe. which is sad to not know but like, its not their fault. it feels shitty to say youre not native anymore bc colonization ttok away records and knowledge of your heritage.

like i think one some people do is support their local tribe. get involved locally.

unfortunately i dont have much info to give bc like i said im in a similar boat. im shy and anxious so its hard for me to talk to people, so seeking that info overwhelming

and then bugging my cousin sucks

but since you seem to have a little less to work on.. idk. maybe sign up for 23andme AND ancestry so that you have a wider net for family members that you can contact

otherwise maybe getting a genealogist to help you

and yeah its ok to not claim anything. Theres no rush! you can still be in the native community and support

sorry if i missed anything

realized i haven't posted it but my fiance has been lying to me and looking at nude pictures of his friends which we have already openly established as cheating in the context of our relationship so 🤪 literally all of my future plans might literally be going in the trash! and even if we don't break up i know he is thinking of his naked friends when he looks at me which has been making me restrict SO much harder!!! im losing my fucking mind.

anyway night 3 being drunk sleeping alone on the couch in the spare room bc i made him keep the bed bc he paid for the mattress and im tired of relying on him and using his money and him having that power over me lol 🙃

Just found out I have to go back to online classes, crying and throwing up rn.

So…saw the post about thirst

I hope you did anticipate it but yeah. Romance with sprinkles of nasty. Or the other way around. Whatever 😅

I can't help but think about the way Dazai will probably be the type to hold it all together and seem all in control until his s/o does something unexpected, taking him by surprise, with a confidence he didn't think they could muster and totally /melting/ between their fingers, to the point of being wrapped around their fingers, whipped and ready to do anything, /everything/ for that sweet feeling of being unable to think, to anticipate. Of the way he could easily open a pair of handcuffs yet the thrill is too sweet to do so and his hands are trembling anyways, so what's the point?

I can't help but think how Chuuya would actually be so terribly flustered if his s/o worships him. Overwhelmed by the love, the care of their touch, mind shutting down, the only thoughts swirling in his mind being the sweet whispers of "So good for me", "the best boyfriend ever", "my pretty Chuuya, how could this world even dare not treat you properly?" and the feeling of their hands all over his body, of those burning eyes, of those lips, greedy, ready to claim what's theirs. Of the way his lover would pull at that chocker and kiss him until his lips are swollen, a deep feeling of /belonging/ in his chest.

I can't help but think of Ranpo and how his smirk will fall off and his confidence /shatter/ in the sweetest of ways as his s/o kisses him like he's the sweetest of treats, like melting chocolate they are addicted to and have to coat their mouth in. The way he'd probably be breathless, trying to regain himself and falling apart even worse, greedy in his own way, pulling his s/o closer, keeping them right here. How his mouth goes slack and he wants nothing more than to cherish this moment forever. About how his lover will probably get him into this rollercoaster by a simple game of poki, but stealing the very end of it right from his mouth and he's never tasted something /sweeter/.

(is it too much?😅)

Nope! its not too much!! ITS never too much!!

Mhm! Saying that Dazai was wrapped around your fingers would be an understatement. Sure he can be a mean dom at times [when he's jelouse] by not letting you cum, whispering degrading stuff in your ear and switching to overstimulation, knowing that your sensetive clit cant take it, but its all over for him when those words come through your mouth. "'m sorry dazai. sorry. 's to much. i promise i wont do it again" Dazai kisses the tears forming in your eyes, going soft on you again 'cause you def have him wrapped around your finger.

I totally agree 😳 chuuya has a praise kink and i dont take critisizm 'cause i know im right 🙃 Every time a praise come through your plump lips, his heart starts beating faster as heat reches up to his cheeks. Sure he is a ruthless mafia executive but inside the four walls of your bedroom he is your pretty boy.

The greatest detective losing his composure after a mere thing such as a kiss? now thats what i like to see 🤧✨ The way his emerald eyes widen when you place your mouth on his, hands tangling themselfs in his hair is a sight to see. Pulling away due to lack of air, the blush on his face is evident of the effect you have on him. HE makes an excuse of how its because the sun is out today and his skin is sensetive but you know better.