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omi-boshi · 3 months

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period cramps and a little bit of pining

your best friend omi comes over to take care of you during your period

tags: no plot just gratuitous fluff and yearning word count: 2.2k

through the haziness that comes from just waking up, you hear the muffled sound of knocking, followed by the click of the door unlocking. you poke your head out from under the covers, curious. the sound of footsteps and rustling just outside your bedroom door fill the space and truthfully, you should be more worried that a stranger has seemingly broken into your apartment. however, the lack of angry growling from your sweet great pyrenees and screams of bloody murder from the stranger soothe the concern that tries its damnest to rise above your grogginess. you stay quiet, curled up on your side, head still peeking out. the continuing muffled sounds almost lulling you to sleep, your eyes falling close. that's how kiyoomi finds you.

he pushes the bedroom door open. quietly, he pads over to the bed and crouches just beside where he can see your face. the concerned furrow between his brows softens slightly as he takes in your sleepy form. he debates waking you up, not wanting to disturb the sleep you're finally getting after a night dealing with cramps of the worst kind. he wishes nothing more than to indulge you as he always does but as your closest friend, he knows you have yet to get up and eat. and that takes priority. cautiously, he runs his fingers through your hair and down your cheek which you turn into, seeking the warmth radiating from his skin. the subconscious action disarms kiyoomi. he has to fight through the thumping in his heart to call your name until you finally start waking up. he watches as you rouse from your sleep, grumbling through the whole motion. it tugs a small smile up his lips. your eyes flutter open and the seconds that follow are punctuated by the stillness of the air as you stare up at him, slowly processing his presence. your eyes travel up his figure. the mask dangling from his right ear. the hoodie he wears — the one you usually steal from him. the fuzzy socks you got him for Christmas. the worn sweatpants you've told him many times to replace and yet he never does because it looks fine, you remember him arguing at some point. the memory of it makes you smile. your gaze trails to the soft curve of his lips, the moles partially covered by his damp messy hair — he must have showered before he came from practice — before finally landing on his eyes that quietly watch you. "hi," you finally whisper in what feels like eons. voice scratchy from disuse. "hey, sleepy head," he says just as softly, mirth coloring his tone. "what are you doing here?" "you texted me last night. did you forget?" you hum in confusion, sitting up slowly and pulling your arm from under the covers to look for your phone.

to omi!!! :] Yesterday 10:43 PM

omiii com e over tmrw :((( - from omi!!! :] Yesterday 10:44 PM

You okay? - from omi!!! :] Yesterday 10:44 PM

I have practice in the morning but I can come over after. Is that alright?

- to omi!!! :] Yesterday 11:07 PM

that work s yes!!! and im okya, just kinda in pain and loopy from the meds and sticky ;-; - to omi!!! :] Yesterday 11:07 PM

everything hurts n i cant sleep on my back but it's ok see u tmrw! - from omi!!! :] Yesterday 11:08 PM

It's that time, huh? - from omi!!! :] Yesterday 11:08 PM

Get some rest. I'll be there as soon as I can.

"oh," you mumble, as you scroll through your messages. "i thought I was dreaming." you put your phone down to look kiyoomi in the eyes, a tilt to your head. "i'm glad you actually came though." kiyoomi breathes in deeply, heart thumping so loud — at this point he's sure you can hear it. but of course, you are none the wiser as you continue peering down at him, sleepy smile on your face.

"of course, i would." he returns the smile. “anyway, i didn’t know what you wanted since you didn’t reply to me all morning.” he pulls out a paper bag that was sitting behind him. “so, i just got a bit of everything.” in your curiosity, you sit up straighter to look at the bag kiyoomi has brought. he starts pulling out its contents and showing them off to you with a dorky grin that grows the more items he shows you. there were donuts, churros, chocolates, cookies, mochi, bread of all variations, and a singular bottle of the tea drink you've been raving to him about the past month. "kiyoomi!" you yell, doubling over in laughter. "i can't eat all of this!" "well, good thing there's two of us," he rolls his eyes, grin still on his face. "in my defense, i didn't know what to get." which is a lie. sort of. because everything he got were things you mentioned craving the days leading up to this week. not that you needed to know that of course. "you'd ruin your diet for me, omi?" you pout, eye glimmering in amusement. "that's so sweet! come here!" you reach out to pinch his cheeks, cooing how your omi is the sweetest and kindest person there is and that people would know that more if you stop looking so grumpy, you idiot.he feels his ears flush and he pushes you — nudges, really — to the side, grumbling something about ungrateful spoiled brats. but he can't bring himself to actually chide you for it, not when you're high in spirits right now and he knows how the littlest things could set you off. he wants you happy for as long as your period lets you which isn't long; fickle as your moods are at these times. "alright, alright." he chuckles. "go freshen up and let's get some real food in you first before we eat the sweets," he stands up from his kneeling position on the floor, hand on your arm to pull you up, grunting as he does so. you groan as if remembering why he was here in the first place. you flop helplessly on the bed, boneless, unwilling to leave the inviting warmth of the blankets. "nooo," you whine, purposely obnoxious just to irk him enough to let you go. "i know what you're doing." he tugs again. "it's not gonna work." it's a losing battle, one that you fought valiantly 'til the end. your whining doesn't work and only ends with you thrown over his shoulder. you yelp, thumping his back with your fists in protest as he makes his way through the living room where your dog sees you both and follows you to the bathroom.

kiyoomi gently puts you down, righting your crumpled shirt. he chuckles at the look you send him. to him, you look about as threatening as a baby chick but he rightfully stays quiet. not taking any chances with your knees so close to his crotch. "there are some pads in the cabinet that i bought," he pauses to fix your hair that got messy from being upside down. "it's the kind you always have." you grumble out a thanks, still a bit peeved from being carried out of bed. kiyoomi was right, of course — you do need to freshen up — but you can still give him trouble for it. you're bleeding out and you feel all weird, sue you, right? "while you're here, i'll go heat up the food i got you — it's korean, by the way — and feed snowball too then we can do whatever you want after. sound good?" kiyoomi tilts his head towards you to see your face.

you don't answer immediately, still stubbornly holding on to the frustration of being forcefully pulled out of bed. but just like most things are with kiyoomi, it's a losing battle. again.

it doesn't take you long before you drop the pretenses and meet his gaze. what you see makes the fight in you leave all in one go. his gaze is warm with mirth and... something else. you don't know what it is but it makes you feel shy being at the receiving end of it. you are suddenly conscious of how sloppy you must look right now even though you know kiyoomi would not mind. in your rising embarrassment, you usher kiyoomi out of the bathroom, eyes not meeting his. snowball, who's just so happy to be there, follows kiyoomi out the door. a muffled boof! sounding through the door once you get it shut. you get your wits together and freshen up, taking extra time to deal with the flush on your cheeks that just won't disappear. kiyoomi is taking out the last of the food from the microwave as you come out of the bathroom, livelier now that you've washed your face. he greets you with a smile and calls you to the dining table. lunch is far calmer, a nice change of pace after the hectic ordeal of getting you out of bed. the strange shyness from earlier is forgotten temporarily as you both talk about nothing and everything; how volleyball practice went, how his courses are going, about the new show you wanted to watch with him. once you start feeling the cramps come up again, kiyoomi catches the change in your expression and decides it's time to go back to bed. he hands you the pill you take to treat the cramps and a glass of water. you give him a grateful smile and he ruffles your hair in return.

"go back to bed. i'll be there in a sec," he says, no room for argument. you feel a bit guilty not helping with the cleanup and you tell him as much. he only snorts and tells you it's fine and that it's what i'm here for.

it doesn't do much to abate your guilt but with the cramps only getting worse, there's not much of a choice to be made.

when kiyoomi comes back, he sees you curled up under the covers, eyes shut in pain. he grabs the rechargeable heating pad from across the room and nudges your hand with it. it's only then that you open your eyes.

"hi," you mutter, attempting to smile. "the medicine hasn't kicked in yet." you grab the offered heating pad. "hey, guess we're not watching that show then?" kiyoomi murmurs, knowing full well that you would want to sleep the ache away. you give him an apologetic smile which he only waves off. "i really wanted to watch it too," you mourn. "it's fine. we can watch it another time." he smiles kindly. the silence that follows is somewhat cautious, neither one sure where to go from here. usually, you would have invited kiyoomi into bed by now and he would groan his protest before reluctantly joining you, all the while you would be teasing him about it. but the shyness from before overtakes you and kiyoomi is unusually hesitant as well, eyes darting and feet shuffling in place.

he is the first to break the silence. "i'll head to the living room so you can sleep, okay?" he begins turning away from you. at his words, you hastily sit up. "omi," you call out. he looks to you, head tilted to let you know he's listening. you can barely hold eye contact as the next words stumble through your lips. "um, the-the heating pad falls off when i sleep on my side and, and you know how i can't sleep on my back because the bleeding would leak," you look away from his gaze. "do you... do you mind helping me?"

kiyoomi turns around, regarding you curiously. "and what do you want me to do?" knowing that words will fail you, you silently flip the covers and pat the space beside you. kiyoomi exhales and cautiously takes his spot on the bed, as if this is the first time he's done this. it makes you snort; your shyness and his hesitance, it's ridiculous. and yet you're unable to soothe your increasing heartbeat.

"and then?" kiyoomi asks, quietly.

shaking off the anxiety that's starting to take hold of you, you nudge his shoulder, urging him to lie down beside you. you turn your back towards him, reaching for his hand and slowly guiding it down to lay flat on the heating pad pressing to your lower abdomen. you swear you hear the sharp intake of breath over your shoulder; whether from the temperature of the heating pad or the action itself, you don't know.

kiyoomi is quick on the uptake and lays his palm fully on the pad. it takes you by surprise when he pulls you towards his chest that you can't help the little gasp you let out. "like this?" he asks, almost teasingly. the hesitance from before melting away from his tone. unfortunately for you, it does menacing things to your heart.

with your heart seizing in your chest, you hum your affirmative and relax in his hold. kiyoomi pulls up the covers on both of you and adjusts so that your head rests on his other arm. with the soft thump-thump of his heartbeat combined with the warmth from the heating pad and his body, you are slowly lulled to sleep. "we should talk about this, you know?" you hear just as you are on the brink of sleep and you only hum in response. you hear him chuckle, or rather feel the vibrations of it. And then lastly, a kiss to your hair. "another time then."

what comes after will be dealt with another time. for now, you will enjoy each other's warmth.

i wrote this on a whim because im currently bleeding out and everything hurts so bad and i wish i had an omi to take care of me ;;;;; I've got a more planned out fic that i can't wait to get out there i swear ;;;; pls take this crappy peace offering for now

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freyito · 8 months

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Can I request platonic Tomas and Bi-Han headcannons with a gn child/teen reader who has difficulty feeling emotions because they were never taught how to process or deal with emotions and the only thing they were told about emotions were to hide them?

This is kinda self indulgent, so I'm sorry if it's kinda specific or weird to you

its alright anon this also lowkey heals the inner child in me BECAUSE THATS ME THATS ME THATS ME TOO. paired with flat affect (and rbf) i had a really hard time understanding emotions in general as a kid!!!! nothing could process properly so i was (and still am) the definition of :l (KACPER LORE!!!)so im slappin flat affect on here as well, if u dont mind anon

cw: gn reader, platonic, proud bi-han, happy tomas, reader is teen (age isnt mentioned however), proofread

ᴛᴏᴍᴀꜱ & ʙɪ-ʜᴀɴ + ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ ᴡʜᴏ ꜱᴛʀᴜɢɢʟᴇꜱ ᴡ/ ᴇᴍᴏᴛɪᴏɴ

-Tomas Vrbada

Tomas comes from a place of sympathy. Perhaps he doesn't quite understand why it's so hard for you to show your emotions, given he's very expressive himself. The most he's experienced is difficult emotions, so he tries his very best not to step over a line.

He's curious and worried, though. He wants to understand you better, and he wants to know just why it is so hard to smile around him.

So, Tomas tries hard to make you smile, any sort of emotion. He'll give you gifts, things he thinks you'll find interesting from his missions, or just try and surprise you in any sort of way. Which always falls short.

He notices that in tense times, or even in times of tragedy you almost seem unsure about how to feel. And afterwards, you almost seem unaffected, in a bad way.

He swallows his pride and just asks you why it's hard to make you emote, why your voice almost lacks emotion. And when you don't have a proper answer, somehow he forms his own answer.

He's kind to you, as much as he will always seek out a reaction, he doesn't think of you any differently. In fact, he's actually determined to teach you how to properly understand your emotions.

He assures you it's okay to cry, happy cry, sad cry, confused cry, whatever kind of cry. Although, not much had come up to render this reaction out of you. He's almost too expressive around you, almost as if he's showing you what to do.

At the end of the day, however, Tomas is sure to help you. Regardless. It doesn't matter if you can only pout now, it's progress. And he's happy. He's actually made it a point to be there during every big step. He finds it so hard to contain himself when he sees you genuinely smile for the first time.

-Bi-Han

Now, Bi-Han understands hiding your emotions. He himself was taught to keep them hidden. But slowly, that had just turned into resentment. So he sees a lot of himself in you.

He'll brush it off at first, he tells himself he doesn't want to get into it. But he slowly convinces himself to come around. He's empathetic, he almost understands every movement you make.

He puts in as much effort as he can, at least, what he thinks is enough effort. As strong as he knows he is, he knows that it's a bad idea to let this evasion of emotion turn into the anger he feels.

Bi-Han sits you down, and talks to you directly. He doesn't tell you his entire story, but he tells you that it's okay to allow yourself to feel and allow yourself to express that. But, he tells you not to force yourself to feel. There's a fine line between those two differences.

He enjoys watching your progress, and just like Tomas, he wants to be there every step of the way. But he's also a bit too prideful for that. So, he's content from watching the sidelines.

Little do you know, he's celebrating those little moments. Behind your back, obviously. He's proud of you. But still too prideful to show that in public. However, he voices this to you. He tells you how proud of you he is when he knows he can have a private word with you.

#*ੈ✩ freyito #mortal kombat x reader #mortal kombat 1 x reader #tomas vrbada x reader #bi-han x reader #sub zero x reader #smoke x reader

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the-s1lly-corner · 7 months

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I’ve read through some of your old posts and I gotta say…I love me some angst. May I kindly, pretty please with a plastic cherry on top, ask for TADC gang with an S/O who abstracted a while back, but then they ‘respawn’ one day with a glitch affect about them, and their memory was totally wiped? Like it was their first day in the digital world? The glitch affect doesn’t hurt them or anyone like what happened to Ragetha and Pomni btw.

TADC cast x mended!reader

so funny story i was about to sit down and work on this about 4 hours ago but then my parents said they were going to watch the fnaf movie in the garage and i literally dropped everything and watched it so uh uh. the reason the grind stopped was because of fnaf movie and now im kinda tempted to pick up my fnaf fic again anyways! i did a similar post, here! jax and caines parts here will be short, really only focusing on the glitch aspect for them in this post, since the other half has already been written!

CAINE:

just got flashed with an image but you know that scene where the iron giant is trying to pick the boy up but hes like limp or something and the giant pulls back (ive never watched iron giant i just know this clip from a meme) i think it would be like that if he tried to poof your glitching away; but like. in an emotional way, if that makes sense. like its the same kind of carefulness and worry, i think... bonus if he does more damage than not

JAX:

honestly a little too scared to even touch you out of the deep seeded fear of getting all glitchy as well. like he knows it wont spread to him, but you know...

POMNI:

similar to jax i think she would instinctively avoid touching you even though she knows its fine... the whole hand thing making her overly cautious for future scenarios, you know? i think she would slip up and accidentally bring up something you and her did before you abstracted, or call you an endearing name before abruptly stopping herself and trailing off, sad stuff. grief makes her tear between wanting to find an exit faster and trying to make you remember/stay for you

RAGATHA:

poor girl :( i think she would genuinely try to make an effort to re/befriend you and try not to have her hopes too high for the two of you to get back together. if you hear about your past relationship and want to learn more about it, shell tell you what you want to know, but i doubt she would instantly start dating you again if you suggest the two of you trying to give the relationship a second shot... i think that would need some time

KINGER:

bro is gonna be going through it, first he loses his possible wife to abstraction and now he lost you.. got you back, but you dont remember anything. on top of that you look.. off.. sure it doesnt hurt you but it still looks like it would be uncomfortable, even if it isnt

stuck between longing to rekindle your old relationship and letting you go in order to allow himself to process this grief; the third option is potential abstraction for himself

ZOOBLE:

tries not to care. they want to forget everything like you did, they were finally starting to be normal after your abstraction. but now your back in a clean slate, mind wiped and memories gone. how does someone cope with that? as much as it hurts them they think it would be best for them to pretend you were a stranger again

GANGLE:

saying it again, poor girl. mix of pomni and ragatha here i think, like she keeps messing up and verbally reminiscing before realizing you cant relate to what shes saying anymore. will tell you anything you want to know about the past, but i think it would take a lot longer for her to consider getting with you again than ragatha. for both its kind of a "i dont want them to feel obligated to try because we were together once" type deal

#tadc x reader #the amazing digital circus x reader #digital circus x reader #caine x reader #jax x reader #pomni x reader #ragatha x reader #kinger x reader #zooble x reader #gangle x reader

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hexhomos · 2 years

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i rlly want to write longer fics but i can never get past the first 1k words no matter what 😶 how TF do you write up to 30,000+???? pkease im DYING

This is a question I often battle with myself and it's one without an universal answer, imo. I can offer you advice that has worked for me, but you'll have to administer it following your own habits!

I’m putting this post under a readmore because it ended up being fairly long. (Tips, resources, links and book recs below cut)

In the throes of intensive fixation, I managed to write Catafalque's 32k in about ~2 months. But I think it's important to be clear here: 2 months of active, every day writing, even when I was feeling kind of meh about it, and I had already spent the previous November thinking about a lot of the themes / scenes / structure of the fic before I got to the writing part itself. I was also helped plenty by the fact that the fic is borrowing time locked events from Arcane's canon, and I knew exactly how things would play out for these characters ahead of time, meaning, I could explore alternate possibilities without a lot of stuff bogging me down. Readers would know what I was talking about by implication! I can just go on and on about feelings and abstract concepts and it's fine!

Compare it to my latest fic though (’Meat gets caught’) which sits at a hefty 6k, but also took… about 2 months of flubbing in the backburner, LOL. The Idealization period for this fic was considerably larger for a Way Smaller Output, since I was juggling characters people are mostly unfamiliar with, events they had no baseline for, and establishing a set character dynamic that is clear to me, but not to others, all in very a short allocation of paragraphs.

Now here's what I mean by the above: There is no standard speed to writing, and you should be aware that the process Will Be Different from author to author *and* project to project. It is a fallacy to believe success follows only one mold.

Ideally, you should stop thinking about big numbers altogether. Focus on the NOW. You want to finish a story you think might be kinda long, but you lose steam when trying to write aaaaaall that bullshit? ok then here's tip number 1 --

1) Just write 300 words a day. Every day. Make it a hardset goal, and avoid skipping this daily exercise as much as possible.

300 words a day for 30 days = 9000 words, easy. The objective here is giving you a task that can be completed without a daily headache. Maybe your minimum can be 200 words, if you prefer - so long as you write them. Pick a frequent or comfortable timeslot to do it, and make this a routine. Focus on finishing scenes, finishing a chapter, finishing whatever section you're already on. Keep going until you reach the end of your story.

You can edit it tomorrow, or when you're closer to completion. (I do a lot of fiddling with my words! I'll often edit my stories dozens of times, more if you're counting section rewrites or re-arranging paragraphs. Editing is your friend. Wait a little bit to see where you've messed up though. Fresh text is tricky.)

The good thing about setting this bar low, is that if you can only write your minimum of the day, that's perfectly fine. Close the doc and let it rest. But just the act of starting and working on the thing by itself is a surprisingly potent battery - there's days where i find a good rhythm for things and end up hammering a whole 1k, since my hands are already on the keyboard.

Tip #2, following on the footsteps of the above:

2) Use a different font color for each day. Make your progress actually *visible* while you're composing the document.

This can be as simple as alternating between black and dark blue to keep it non-distracting. (You can use other, crazier colors if you're into it though!) It's immediately rewarding to be able to scroll back through what I've already written and see that organic growth - days I wrote little, days I wrote a lot, how the text is still changing and being affected by what i do. I have an issue with abstract goals, I *like* being able to see how much progress I've made, and it gets me hyped to pinch in a little more.

3) EDITING IS YOUR FRIEND.

first drafts look and read like gummed up garbage. You should give imperfections a license to exist.

That's ideal! Don't be discouraged. Trust that you can come back and fix things when you have a better grasp of the whole piece. You can always edit it later. Remember: Polishing your text with time is not a bug - it's a feature.

4) BE FUCKING INDULGENT.

Writing is an inherently embarrassing act. This is self explanatory. Now, since you’re already there, just make the most of it.

If you’re really on the path towards a long con of a plot, make sure to sprinkle in gifts for yourself. Write about something you enjoy. Put in details that make you laugh. Make your characters go on your own big wubbyland adventure. ‘writing for an audience’ instead of for yourself can quickly kill the enjoyment (and drive) of anything.

5) Lost or confused? Think of your INTENT, FORM, and STRUCTURE.

I can't remember the last thing I wrote without an outline to guide me as the months wore on. I think it is deeply important to write down somewhere accessible, somewhere you can look back on:

What is the intent of this story? What am I trying to say?

This is a little cheat just for yourself, so you stay on topic. And you can broaden that question with a few more qualifiers if you like:

What is the sequence of events? What *themes* am I trying to convey? What are the major beats/ scenes/ actions taken? Can you break it down into a clean list of bullet points, one for each step of the story? that might help you a LOT. More than you'd think. If you find that helps you - make it a checklist. Make every little turn of the story into a micro goal that can be reached through narrative, and go ticking off the boxes until you’ve covered the whole thing.

You can even make this into a dedicated planning document by itself, put your themes, keywords, and bullet point outline all in one place. So when you're in the process of writing and your mind goes a little blank, all the refreshing elements are saved up nicely somewhere. Feel free to cheat.

...So that's INTENT and FORM -- what about STRUCTURE?

Mary Robinette Kowal did this great explainer on the structure of short stories and how to plan them, and the ideas she introduces here can be used to write fiction of *any* length. I highly recommend giving it a listen. If you're not used to thinking about story structure, this can be very clarifying! And if that's already something you worry about, the formula she provides is a great starting point to baking your own sourdough.

Structure is a broad subject depending on the specifics of your fiction, and this is where we begin to run into things like ‘Genre’ and ‘Point of View’ and the rubric stretches really wide.

When in doubt about structure (and genre), my rule of thumb is always:

1) Find something similar to what I’m trying to do

(what are things similar to this? what are the most popular examples of this? how were these things written, to express those ideas?)

2) Read up to see how they do it

(separate the stories into their barest components - how are the events presented? How is style used? How are characters developed -- what pushes characters into developing? What are the recurring themes? What connects this fiction into a cohesive, recognizable whole?)

3) Try to apply whatever notes I took from above ^^^^ into my own project

This might be obvious, but ‘questioning my story’ or ‘questioning my characters’ is usually how I begin developing all of my writing. You might be more attracted to another method! (and that’s okay) but this is the stuff I can offer.

More vaguely useful resources on structure/plotting or literary theory;

Ellen Brock’s (Novel Editor) Advanced Story Structure series

‘Monkeys with Typewriters’ by Scarlett Thomas (book)

‘Steering The Craft’ by Ursula K. Le Guin (book)

‘Story Genius’ by Lisa Cron (book)

If you read through *just* the intro of some of those you’ll notice that they all have very different takes on these topics (and some may even contradict the others,) which is what I think makes for the best path to self-discovery. Explore different stuff, test it out, throw it away if it doesn’t work etc. And while I can’t post direct links here lets just say these are all. ummmm. Very Findable in the internet! Get an epub reader. Highlight a bit.

now that structure is over and done with, let’s move onto my last tip:

6) Seriously reconsider the size of your story.

A lot of people really don’t like being told this, but someone has to do it.

You’ll notice that a lot of my above advice (and resources,) errs on the side of assuming you want to write something at least as long as a 200-300 page novel. I can’t really blame them, since that’s just the state of the industry and ‘what sells’, and these ideas are so prominent they have transferred to nonprofit hobby spaces to the point people tend to think that bigger IS better -- but consider, maybe it isn’t.

Maybe the story you’re trying to tell can be condensed into a 15k word oneshot.

Maybe you can *actually* get it done if it’s a collection of important character-related scenes split into 3 chapters, instead of a whopping 50.

Maybe the concept eluding you thus far can become stronger if you let go of the preconception that it needs to be a drawn-out epic, and just write it as a potent roller-coaster ride that ends before the hour is up.

I’m not saying you need to undo all the work you’ve already done - but consider the whole! Making the scope of your writing smaller works on your favor. Unless you have a natural knack for it, I really, really wouldn’t recommend making your first serious attempt at longform writing a 100,000 word behemoth. ‘Done’, as a goal, is immediately more achievable than ‘Perfect’!

You can get a lot of mileage out of short stories and oneshots, and it can be more satisfying for you, as a writer, to complete whole projects in a realistic timeframe.

anyway. Maybe this will help you, or maybe it won’t. But in any case: I wish you the best of luck in this journey and I hope you can find what works best for you!!!

#hexposts #meta tag #i guess #resources #writing resources

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notveryshrugemoji · 7 months

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lol, the last 24 hours have been wild and this is exactly the place I want to document it. Love processing my thoughts and feelings here hahaha

Yesterday I was working and started feeling, off. Nothing major, just didn’t feel good. I was clammy, my heart was racing, my chest and upper back between my shoulder blades felt tight. At times I felt like I needed to gasp or take a big breath in to feel like I was filling my lungs? Does that make sense?! So I took my blood pressure 3 times, both arms. Numbers: 145/99, 145/105, 140/95 with my HR 95-105 each reading.

Naturally, I gaslit myself into thinking I was having an asthma attack. So I called my mom and she was like “lol maybe call the nurse hotline about that” so I did and THEY were like “BITCH GO TO THE HOSPITAL” so I left work and went to the hospital lol. (Important to note here: I have had unexplained high BP since I was a teenager that is managed with meds).

ER saw me basically immediately due to the chest pain but they didn’t have a bed for me so I was just kinda sitting in a chair for a while lol. They did blood work, blood cultures, an X-ray of my chest and an ecg. Basically all of it came back clear. I saw a Student Dr first and she listened to my chest and then left pretty abruptly afterword, both drs came back and listened, NODDED TO EACH OTHER and confirmed “yes what you heard is correct”. Like okay, pls say more immediately, thanks! They ask me if I’ve ever been diagnosed with a heart murmur (no), then tell me they hear a murmur and want an ekg done (booked for Monday). And then they SENT ME HOME lol. Chest pain, elevated BP, etc. still happening. They were very thorough, i just kind of feel like I wasn’t given a real plan for the next couple of days? The symptoms are still there, so like do I go back if they get worse? How much worse does it need to get? This is partially my fault for not pushing harder to get those answers but I don’t think they really had anything at that point, realistically.

So I slept a couple of hours last night and woke up early today feeling the same way. I called my GP’s office and booked an appointment for Monday and let them know what happened yesterday. They said he’ll likely call me this evening bc he’s on call at the hospital. I went and got a couple of groceries, exhaustinggggg. I had to sit on my bottom stair when I got home and catch my breath lol. So things are basically the same as yesterday EXCEPT I can’t help but feel like “I don’t feel good” - like I feel like I have a cold. And then I’m thinking, what if it’s COVID? Im assuming my bloodwork didn’t show any red flags and that’s why they didn’t test. I asked my friend to grab me a couple of rapid tests just for shits though. More info is good at this point.

A lot of thoughts, top of the list is that I don’t think I have asthma and neither does the er doctor. I told him I almost didn’t go to the hospital bc I felt like I was overreacting about an asthma attack - because this is what an asthma attack feels like, right? And the answer is nooo, so have I just had an undiagnosed heart murmur for this long? It feels like that’s impossible hahahaha I have so much shit wrong with me surely someone would have heard it by now.

Anyway, I’m playing the new h*gwarts game on switch and gonna sleep as much as possible today. Eat, then sleep.

#felt so good to get that all out of my head r #good news is that I am doing pretty good on paper otherwise hahaha #turns out losing 70 pounds does that!!!!!#I’m making light of this whole thing bc otherwise I have to be really really scared

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altocat · 2 years

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Hi! ive been in a really big sephgen mood, and i was wondering if you had any hcs about them? Im kinda starving for them ^^’

Tasty Sephgen. The spiciest of ships. My faves.

-They bicker like an old married couple and spar like a couple of rowdy teenagers but are essentially attached at the hip. Sephiroth is extremely close to Angeal but he has always considered Genesis his best friend.

-Mutual crush/infatuation. They cover it up by being extra competitive and aggro towards each other in training. Genesis often tries to get Sephiroth's attention by sleeping around with a lot of people to see how Sephiroth would react. And gets saddened when Sephiroth seems to have no reaction at all, while Sephiroth is inwardly SEETHING. Neither of them actually communicate their feelings to each other. Which often leads to a lot of misunderstandings.

-Genesis IS genuinely jealous of Sephiroth's fame and wants to surpass him someday. Part of it is due to his own insecurity and sense of weakness, part of it is so that he can impress his childhood icon and prove to him that he's worthy. Unfortunately, this leads them into acting like a pair of idiots getting reckless during their fights. Both of them really like fighting and competition, but their inner feelings often give way to things getting very quickly out of hand.

-Despite this, they both respect each other tremendously. When separate from each other, most people immediately pick up on the fact that they talk about each other constantly. And both would be lying through their teeth if they said they didn't spend many sleepless nights...thinking about each other.

-Angeal and Zack are ultimate wingmen, just saying.

-If they were to become an actual item, they'd be excessively physical with each other, and probably would have gotten into a ton of trouble as a result. Not a single segment of Headquarters hasn't been tainted by their...antics 8'D

-Shitty parents on both sides. Neither side approves. Both Sephiroth and Genesis could give less of a fuck.

-Despite all the aggressive intimacy and give and take between them, they are surprisingly very affectionate and attentive to each other. Sephiroth enjoys showering Genesis with attention and praise to the point where the latter gets completely flustered. Genesis, for his part, has a softer side and will be the first one to comfort/be gentle around Sephiroth during one of his post-lab episodes.

-They could probably finish each other's sentences. Both are too embarrassed to bother though.

-They kind of low-key worship each other? Sappy, gooey stares at each other when they think the other isn't looking. BUT also still a bunch of juvenile shit-talking immediately afterwards so that they can cover it up.

-They sometimes sit together and provide very faint, intimate little touches here and there. A hand on an arm. A kind of absent-minded brushing the bangs out of the other's face. Sort of just right up on each other and being casual about it. Sephiroth doesn't like being touched at all, so this is a big deal for him to be like this.

-Sephiroth is lying about Loveless, mostly to go along with Angeal's disdain for it. While he doesn't care about the actual content, he secretly loves hearing Genesis read it aloud.

-Genesis gradually becomes aware of the fact that Sephiroth might not exactly be fully human. He doesn't ever tell Sephiroth this though, probably as a kindness as he knows it could really mess Sephiroth up. If he were to tell him, it would be a very tricky methodical process, one that involves a lot of reassurance.

-Far, FAR into the future where CC never happens? They break down what remains of their barriers and find a level of true harmony away from Shinra, content to just be around each other. Sephiroth has learned what it means to trust and rely on someone, to let them inside. Genesis comes to terms with the fact that he'll never really surpass Sephiroth, but that's okay--he has Sephiroth's undying admiration. A person has seen who he is and what he can do. A person has SEEN Genesis Rhapsodos. And that's more than enough to live on, all he could ever want.

#sephiroth #genesis rhapsodos #ff7 #crisis core #ffvii #asks #final fantasy 7 #sephcanons #angeal hewley #zack fair #gencanons #sephgen #sephesis #fluff

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noelle-holi-gay · 2 years

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Good day Hazel! Just wanted to ask ya how on earth are you so consistent in writing? Whats your process like? I know you for Dare To Dream and im honestly fuckn impressed how you wrote 25k in... a month? I could barely manage 11k in two months! Admittedly I havent read a bunch of your other Suselle and Kriselle fics, but I'm still impressed how consistent you are, even with the recent concert one I'm surpised how fast you were.

Life kinda gets in the way sometimes, I haven't written in like 7 months because I've been absolutely hammered out with irl happenings, and I wanna know how you manage your schedule and momentum when writing.

Hey! Sorry I didn't answer this sooner, the past few days have been actually insane as I'm sure you can guess KDSJHGFSDHFGSDF

So, I don't know, this is kind of always a hard question to answer because process is always so personal, you know? But I do have a few tricks I use to make it as painless as possible, so that when I sit down to write I actually get words on the page. First, though, don't knock your pace, friend; 11K in two months isn't bad at all. Sometimes you can do a lot more with a lot less, anyway.

Primarily, I have outlines, and I outline constantly in my head. I don't always write down my outlines explicitly, but I think about my stories allll the time when I'm walking places, in the bathroom/shower, doing chores--whatever occupies my body and not my mind, I'm usually thinking about my stories. Sometimes down to the details; I've blocked out entire conversations between characters in my head before while in the shower or something, including which versions of 'said' i use for which lines and where I cut the dialog with actions, and all that shit. If you've already got it in your head, then when you have free time to actually write, it often just dumps out of you onto the page.

If I don't have a really strong idea for a scene already loaded, though, it can be a bit harder to jump that first sentence hurdle; but it gets a lot easier over time. I have had to start so so many scenes over the years that at this point I just run through a bunch of different potential starts--starting with fast-paced action, starting with dialog, starting with a character's internal thoughts, starting with a description of the setting, starting with sensory imagery that the POV character is feeling--and then find one that works and write it down before I can second-guess myself, just so I can get over that initial hump. It becomes quicker and quicker with practice. And once I break that hump, the rest of the scene usually flows pretty easily.

If I'm REALLY struggling with how a scene should go, thuogh, that usually means there's something missing from it structurally--its too boring, or its too convoluted, or something like that. In that case, I'll really think about what I'm trying to accomplish with the scene, what the best way to get there is, and if there's any sub-conflict I can leverage within the scene to chug it along. Oftentimes in scenes, you want there to be two parallel 'conflicts' happening that can bounce of of one another (though I use 'conflict' pretty loosely here). For example, maybe Kris and Noelle are having an emotional conversation about their childhood; but at the same time, maybe they're walking down the street. The 'walking down the street' part may sound horribly insignificant, but keeping things in motion like that is very useful for breaking up the conversation: maybe Noelle looks away to admire the scenery before going on, or Kris trips after hearing something particularly unexpected, or they both stop walking for a minute, even though they're going to be late for class, because they've realized this is more important--the secondary 'conflict' in the scene gives you something to bounce the primary conflict off of. If I'm having a lot of trouble getting invested in a scene, in my experience, it's usually because I need to give it a secondary conflict.

From a logistic standpoint, too, a lot of my productivity literally just comes from having google docs on my phone, because if I'm in like for two minutes at the grocery store, well, that's two minutes of writing I can accomplish. The little things add up, especially since I don't bring my computer everywhere -- if I were limited to just writing on my computer instead of when im walking places, eating lunch, running errands, etc, my fics would never ever get done. It's at least 30-40% of my writing time these days.

Hope some of that was helpful and/or interesting! Hope you have a good one.

#answers #not deltarune

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twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat · 3 months

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Hi! I just read “where you lead me I’ll follow” and it was absolutely so beautiful it was gorgeously written! I was actually wondering how you write dialogue so well? Like what’s ur process? I love the way their conversation flowed it felt like I was listening in on someone’s actual conversation. It’s very cool how you made such a rich fic when it’s just two people sitting outside looking at the stars. But yeah I was just wondering what your process is? I’m really admiring your work! Keep up the good work! 😘

ANON ……… 🥺🥺 ohhhh you are so sweet. that fic is still one of my favorites and has a special place in my heart so it means so much!! T_T

AND THAT’S SO KIND OF YOU TO SAY i often worry that my dialogue doesn’t flow well….. so it’s a huge relief that you think it did :’3 ohhhh but… advice….. hmmmm.

i do think dialogue is tricky for a lot of people!! the standard advice (that also works the best imo) is just to read a bunch !! fanfic, printed books, etc. just to get a feel for different ways that people use dialogue !! bc it really is so different from person to person…… listening to real life conversations, irl or through tv shows or whatever, can also help a bunch!! i think that sometimes it’s easy to get lost in the fiction to the point where you kinda forget how people actually speak 😭😭

the only other advice i have is really vague and probably not helpful PHDJDH but i try to find a good rhythm…?? when i write dialogue…??? it sounds weird bc it’s just something you feel out yourself but i feel like you can totally notice when a paragraph feels clunky, and i also have a tendency to fill dialogue gaps with movements and descriptions, which i think disrupts the flow sometimes….. so getting a good balance there is important!!!

if i want a character to say “thank you for the meal,” and then “delicious, as always.” (im hungry ok dont look at me) then there are plenty of ways you could fill in that gap !! and they all leave the reader w a different impression!!!

“thank you for the meal,” he said. “delicious, as always.” <- this one is very to the point and short, the description doesn’t really serve a purpose… at that point i think you can just get rid of it and put the sentences together as they are. which isn’t a bad thing!! i usually put descriptions between them but i try to sneak in some pure dialogue here and there too !! i think a mix between both is always best :33

“thank you for the meal,” he chirped, leaning back in his chair. content. “delicious, as always.” <- this is probably the one i tend to go for but that doesn’t mean it’s the best choice for you !! the description is a lil longer, and expresses more emotion and movement… but still short enough that the emphasis is still on the dialogue.

“thank you for the meal,” he chirped, leaning back with a groan, chair creaking with the movement. content, a light curve on his lips. “delicious, as always.” <- i think u get the point by now but there are infinite possibilities when it comes to this kinda thing !! u kinda have to feel for yourself if a description feels too short, too long, etc… it’s a delicate balance but i think mixing it up now and then is probably good for the flow !! the descriptions should always support the dialogue and make it feel more real, it can really change the way the reader interprets what’s being said!! is this character being sincere or sarcastic when they say it’s delicious? etc etc.

that’s my extremely amateur advice LMAO pls don’t put too much faith in me 😭😭😭 i’m super honoured that you’d think to ask me though !! :’3 my biggest tips are still to read and watch a lot of shows, i’m sure it’ll make it a lot easier to get reference points from there!! but writing and experimenting is always helpful too.

#MWAH MWAH many kisses for the sweet anon!!!!#i rlly hope this can be of some help but i do also recommend looking up articles and yt videos on the topic bc im sure there are lots !!#im sure there are other tumblr posts out there that have way more concrete advice than i do 😭😭#ALSOOOO tysm again for ur kind words :’3 i need to go back and polish that fic at some point bc its pretty old !!#but im so glad that u think it still holds up T_T.. i love conversations under the stars so it was very self-indulgent phdjshdh #i hope u have the loveliest day anon !!#ask tag ✩

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tangledstarlight · 3 years

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...i said i was going to make it and well, here we are i guess. im so sorry for this.

Carlos Molina’s to Guide to Ghost Hood (title subject to change)

welcome to the 1st edition, maybe i’ll make a 2nd if i get inspired enough but also, this is such a mess already i don’t think the world needs a part 2 dfghg

Link to the power point is in the first reblog. (i’d highly recommend watching it for the full experience dfgh)

Link to ao3 also in the first reblog.

below the cut is the accompanying fic and description of the rules/guide.

The tape recorder lets out a low buzzing sound as Carlos presses a button on the side and stands it up between them on the dining room table. Julie shoots an amused glance at Reggie who’s taken up residence in the chair next to him, the two of them flipping open notebooks and clutching pencils.

“Where did you even find a tape recorder?” She wonders, stretching out a finger to touch the silver rectangle only for her hand to be swatted away by Reggie.

“Found it in a box of moms stuff and dad said we could order some tapes from amazon,” Carlos replies matter of factly, straightening up in his chair once he seems to have found the page he was looking for. “Right. Let's start off easy, shall we?”

He looks at her expectantly and Julie rolls her eyes, waving a hand at the two of them, “Lets.”

“Question one,” Carlos taps his pencil at the top of his page before squinting at her, “Did you conduct any séance related activities before the ghosts showed up?”

Julie blinks at him, wondering if he’s joking but the pair of them just look back at her, heads both slightly tilted and it’s at that moment that she realises how serious they’re going to be about this. It was going to be a long afternoon of questioning apparently.

“No, I didn’t conduct any séance related activities. I just put on their CD and they y’know, fell out of the sky.”

“Interesting, interesting,” Carlos mutters as he looks at Reggie’s notebook as the older boy writes her answer down, underlines something and taps it with his pencil that makes Carlos let out a small hm. “So you don’t know anything about the dark room? Didn’t make any wishes?”

“No,” Julie shakes her head, watches Reggie write something else down and tilt his notebook to Carlos. It’s weird, watching them communicate like that, like they’ve created a shorthand between them and don’t even require her presence to have a conversation. Which is obviously true because they’ve clearly discussed all this beforehand.

“You walked through Luke right? What did that feel like to you?” Reggie’s question catches her off guard and she looks between them, but Carlos is already looking at her, waiting for her answer.

“It was um cold? But also not. I--” she frowns, trying to think back to that first night in the kitchen when she’d turned around and walked through him. Back when she’s barely known any of them and was more annoyed by their presence then comforted. “It was weird. The first few seconds after I walked through him I just felt cold but then it was like a rush of warmth? You know when you get one of those random shivers that runs through your whole body? It feels all weird and tingly but also kinda nice? Like that.”

“Did it feel like you got a feel of Luke?” Carlos asks and Julie shrugs, a slight blush on her cheeks and somehow, despite the fact they can’t see each other, the two of them share a look.

“What’s the next question,” anything to move off the topic of walking through Luke and how it felt.

“Oh Julie is gonna be so pissed at you guys,” Alex mutters but makes no move to step in and stop the ‘experiment’ currently going on. He watches as Reggie tries to put a hand on Carlos’ shoulder, fingers phasing through the younger boy's jacket with a frown.

“She won't be pissed if it works,” is all Reggie says, face morphing into one of concentration as he slowly lowers his hand on to Carlos’ shoulder again.

For his part, Carlos bounces slightly on his toes, eyes fixed on the notebook in Alex’s hand in case they need to tell him something. And okay, Alex might not fully agree with the way the two of them are going about this whole thing, but he can’t say he’s not on board with it. Their whole stint as ghosts has been nothing but confusion after confusion that not even Willie has answers for. Does he think Reggie and Carlos are going to uncover some fundamental thing that makes them the way they are? Probably not. Will they maybe get him some kind of answer? God he hopes so.

Especially since there’s been small moments in the last few weeks where Ray and Carlos have been able to hear them even without them playing music or Julie nearby. Which had scared all of them. Thought it was nothing compared to Ray’s reaction when he’d apparently walked into the kitchen to find Julie and Luke hugging, only for him to vanish when they suddenly let go. It was a hell of a way to find out they could be seen if they were touching her.

“Oh!” Carlos suddenly exclaims, head whipping to look at his shoulder where Reggie’s hand is resting solidly on the fabric of the jacket. Alex feels his eyes widen a fraction and watches Reggie’s smile widen as he squeezes slightly on Carlos’ shoulder. “Oh my god! I can feel that!”

“Holy shit,” Alex whispers, grip on the pencil in his fingers growing.

“Hey! I heard that too! Quick! Write it down! 30 minutes and- and however many attempts it took!” Carlos grins, face turning towards him and Alex doesn’t even have time to feel guilty about swearing before he’s scribbling in Reggie’s notebook.

“Thanks again for taking me,” Carlos says as he pulls his seat belt across his chest and clicks it in, eyes drifting from his tia in the front seat to the little notebook resting on the back seat and the pencil that’s hovering just a few inches off the paper. Subtly he sees it tap on the page, once, twice, and he bites down on his grin, tucking his hands under his thighs to stop from bouncing in his seat. They’re ready.

“Of course mijo,” Victoria smiles over at him as she turns on the engine, fingers already messing with the buttons on the radio to find her favourite station. “I have to say I’m impressed. Planning ahead for your dad's birthday.”

“Mhm,” he agrees, his eyes on the notebook that he can just see in the rearview mirror. The pencils resting between the creases in the pages and he holds his breath as the radio jumps to a different station.

Victoria frowns slightly, her eyes darting from the road to the radio and back, hand reaching out to change it back. When it jumps to another station. And another. Carlos feels his eyes widen a little, legs bouncing on top of his hands as he watches the radio cycle through station after station, only lingers for a few seconds on each before moving on.

Finally it stops, the words of Despacito ringing through the car and it’s lucky they’re at a red light he thinks, because when Victoria tries to change it it jumps right back.

“What the f-” she starts, the furrow between her brows growing deeper and the knuckles on her hand that’s still gripping the wheel turning white.

“Can we leave it? I like this song,” he looks over at her with a smile, blinking in what he hopes is a completely innocent way. He’s pretty sure she’s too distracted by the radio to question it.

“Sure, sure,” she mutters, not even looking at him, eyes going from the road to the radio.

The song ends and from the corner of his eye he can see the pencil in the back moving, Reggie or Willie writing something down and he has to stop himself from turning around to see what it is. Instead he watches as tia starts changing the radio station again, her fingers never leaving the touch screen as if that was the problem. But the second she lands on her favourite 80’s classics station and is moving her fingers away it changes. Skipping through stations again until Despacito is once again filling the car.

It’s probably lucky that they’re at another red light and that there’s no one behind them because her eyes widen and she’s suddenly saying words in Spanish that he knows he shouldn’t know and is pulling over to the side of the road.

“We have to get out! The car is being possessed! Out, out Carlos! Come on!” Her seat belt is off and her door is open before Carlos even has a chance to process what’s happening. The notebook from the back is pushed in front of his face and he tilts his head a little to side to read Reggie’s familiar handwriting,

Too far?

“Maybe,” he whispers back, taking the notebook out of the ghost's hand as he starts to get out of the car, plucking the pencil out of the metal spirals and making a note about not pushing tia in a moving vehicle and to wait until after they’ve gone shopping first.

She’s got her phone pressed to ear when he joins her on the sidewalk, pacing up and down. Carlos is pretty sure there’s going to be a family dinner story time in their near future.

Luke watches as Carlos sets his tape recorder up, idly plucking out a half finished tune on his guitar in order to be seen and heard. He doesn’t really get the other boys interest in figuring out their ghostly state of being. The same way he doesn’t really care about finding answers to all of Alex’s questions.

They ate some bad street dogs. They died. Julie brought them back and then she saved them a second time. They can play music and sometimes be seen. He already has all the answers he needs and it’s two words: Julie Molina.

Would it be nice to know what the black room was? Sure. Did he sometimes wonder why they could be seen but other ghosts couldn't? Sometimes. Did he want answers? Only if someone was going to give them to him without having to do the work. Was he going to sit here and answer all of Carlos’ questions because it was important to him and to the others? Fuck yeah he was.

“Does that think pick up our voices even if we’re not playing and not near Julie?” He nods at the recorder on the table after Carlos hits a button.

“Yeah! It’s so cool too. You sound like, all static-y and I have to listen really hard sometimes because your voices fade in and out but they’re there!”

Okay, Luke can admit that is pretty cool, “That’s wicked. Maybe we should start using that to communicate instead of writing.” He was really sick of people commenting on his handwriting.

“Dude that’s genius! It would be like leaving each other voice notes!” He gestures in the air with his pencil the same way Julie does when she’s realised the issue with a verse and Luke smiles softly. He doesn’t know what voice notes are, but he’s glad he could contribute to the communication issue.

“What questions have you got for me then little dude?” He raises an eyebrow at Carlos as he flips through his notebook.

When he’d first knocked Alex down Willie never thought it would lead to him sitting in the Molina’s family living room, a whiteboard resting on his knees as a twelve year old shows him bar graphs and pie charts of information on ghosts.

There was probably some kind of domino-butterfly effect going on that had led him here. But he’s too busy trying to fit all his know ghost knowledge onto a whiteboard so Carlos can fill in the gaps in his knowledge.

Over the years Willie has met a lot of lifers, has interacted with a handful at the HGC but he’s never met a family like the Molina’s. Who found out ghosts were real and instead of running, or trying to profit off of them, had just...welcomed them into the family. Arms wide and hearts open.

And more than that, here was Carlos trying to get answers to questions that none of them really had an answer too.

“Black room, yes or no?” Carlos asks, holding up a flash card and a clothes peg, ready to add it to the line of string stretching across the room. It was already littered with other cards in an order that Willie really didn’t understand but seemed to make perfect sense to the younger boy and Reggie.

Not for me, or anyone I asked at the club, he scribbles down, turning to the board around.

“Just like we thought,” he nods to himself, taking two steps to the left and reaching up to attach the card, “An anomaly.” he whispers it to himself and Willie has to bite his lip to stop from smiling before remembering that Carlos can’t actually see him.

“Hey,” Alex’s voice from the doorway drags his gaze away from the lifer and the smile he’d been trying to stop spreads across his face, “How’s it going?”

“I don’t think we’re even half way through,” he chuckles, gesturing with one hand at the stack of flashcards and the charts he hasn’t even seen yet. “Do you understand this system?”

The exasperated laugh that leaves Alex’s lips is answer enough before he’s even shaking his head, strands of blonde hair dipping into his eyes and Willie wants to reach to move away, “Not a clue. They’ve tried to explain it to us but it makes zero sense to anyone but them.”

“Hey, Alex, stop distracting him, we’re working here!” Carlos’ voice makes him jump, head turning back to where he’s standing with his arms crossed and shaking his head in disappointment in the vague direction of where Alex is standing.

“Wait, can he see you?” Willie frowns, mind trying to remember if he knew this or not.

“No, he’s just really good at sensing us these days,” Alex sighs, but there’s a fond look in his eyes as he looks at Carlos, “He says it’s his ghost powers kicking in from how often he hangs out with Reggie and from all the failed teleportation experiments.”

“The failed what now?”

“Oh, you’ll find out. I think it’s section 7?” Alex grins, pushing off from where he’d been leaning against the doorway and waving.

Willie turns back to Carlos feeling a little more confused than he had minutes ago but also much more intrigued about teleportation experiments. And if he could help get some answers for any of the many questions Alex had, that was cool too.

Carlos Molina’s Guide to Ghosting. So you became a ghost, huh?

(working title, subject to change)

By Carlos Molina, with special thanks to Reggie Peters and Willie Skateboard.

1st Edition.

Dedicated to Alex Mercer, so he can stop asking so many questions. We’re working on it buddy.

1. Tangibility

They can walk through anything (except my sister now, reasons still unclear).

Works especially well with walls, doors and locked vaults (see exhibit a)

When they walk through people it “allows them to get a feel for the person” – Reggie Peters. “It’s weird” – Alex Mercer. No comment from Luke Patterson as he was too busy staring at Julie.

2. Souls

Objects can be attached to their souls.

Still unclear if it has to be an object that they were close to in life, or if they can attach their souls to any object once a ghost.

Experiments with Reggie Peters are still ongoing. Updates will follow.

3. Being Seen

Can be seen by “lifers*” when they play music with Julie.

This is the first rule which only applies to our ghosts.

They can be heard when they play music without Julie. This is also unclear as to why, working theory is “Our music is just so awesome it transcends deaths!” – Luke Patterson.

Mr Willie Skateboard was quick to point out it’s “weird” and “ghosts aren’t supposed to be seen by lifers.”

4. Touching

Our ghosts can now touch Julie. The biggest change in their afterlife.

Still no explanation for it. Experiments are ongoing (see exhibit b)

Have witnessed Julie hugging the air many times only for Alex or Willie to appear. Same with hand holding. (see exhibit c for dads reaction)

5. Magic

Some ghosts have powers and abilities.

Willie* can control different types of technology. Appears to work best with cars. This we believe correlates with who a ghost dies.

In our expedition to test his skills he skipped through 15 different radio stations of Tia’s car until he found one playing despacito. Test was a success. Tia does think her car is haunted now however.

6. ???

There was a dark room.

All other ghosts interviewed had never heard of it before.

All our ghosts agreed it was weird and creepy.

We are choosing to pretend it didn’t happen.

Working theory: a hole in time that they fell through. Must find a way to test.

7. Teleporting

part 1)

Ghosts can teleport wherever they want in the world.

Only the most powerful can teleport a lifer with them (will keep attempting)

part b)

Our ghosts can pinpoint Julie’s exact location wherever she may be in the world.

Will be helpful if she is ever kidnapped, Julie however wishes they would stop using said power to find her in gym class.

“I already have find my friend activated” – Flynn had to say on the matter.

part c)

Julie can summon the boys to her if she concentrates hard enough. Came in handy when an evil magician tried to kidnap them.

Also possibly how they escaped the dark room, no way to prove or deny this as dad won’t let me eat a bad hotdog to become a ghost.

Working theory: magic of music and family

See Exhibit d

See Exhibit e

#julie and the phantoms #julie molina #luke patterson #alex mercer #reggie peters #carlos molina #willie jatp #willie #ray molina #jatp #this is...this is really something that i made huh #why did i do this #i just. okay #you gotta read the power point as if carlos and reggie are presenting it btw #and reggie is wearing a sheet for the aesthetic

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drakenology · 3 years

Text

Don’t Ignore Horny Daichi - Daichi Sawamura

author’s note: hehehe... so I’m officially a Daichi fucker yall.. his fine ass. im on my ✨period✨ so im extra thirsty rn. enjoy!

summary: daichi’s horny but you’re preoccupied with something sooo..

warnings: smut, cunnilingus, pure love making, established relationship.

Today was a lazy Sunday. Daichi was out at practice and you were in his apartment chilling like a villain, lounging around in his hoodie and some shorts while playing his playstation.

You had no clue what you were doing, pressing all the wrong buttons and definitely ruining his stats, but who cares? You were bored and your boyfriend wasn’t home so what’s a girl to do?

You sigh and put the controller down and grab your phone to text him.

“Daichiiii 🥺” you text, throwing your phone somewhere while you continue the game. 20 minutes go by and he texts you back.

“I know, babe. We’re wrapping up now, I’ll be home in thirty.” He said, so readily aware that you were going to say something about missing him. You sigh and pout, grabbing the controller to continue to play the game.

Even though the game you were playing was really hard, it was kind of fun. It was some first person shooter Daichi and the boys would play, him shouting call outs over the voices of everyone else in the middle of the night and waking you up in the process. What was it called, call of duty or something? Either way, you were starting to get the hang of the game and you were dominating the lobby right now.

A bit of time passed and you heard the door of Daichi’s room open, your tall boyfriend throwing his gym bag next to his closet as he sighed.

“I’m home, babe.” He grinned, kissing you on the cheek. You smile at him and turn your attention back to the game and welcomed him home.

“Call of Duty? Since when did you game?” Daichi asked, looking at the T.V in confusion.

“I was bored but now I kinda like it. I see why you play this so mu- Oh come on!” You shout after being killed. Daichi giggled and kissed your forehead, saying something about getting in the shower before getting in bed with you. You nod, half hearing what he said as you continued the game.

Daichi got undressed and grabbed a towel, walking into the bathroom of his room and closing the door. You hardly notice him get naked in front of you as you completely demolish everyone in the lobby, laughing maniacally as you get last kill.

A few minutes go by and Daichi comes out of the bathroom, his hair wet and sticking to his forehead. His muscular body was glistening wet, practically dripping onto the floor as his towel hung lazily on his hips. You stare at him as you wait on a loading screen, causing him to let out a low chuckle.

“Enjoying the peep show?” He teased, taking his towel off to dry himself. You pick your jaw up and turn back to the game and start playing again, ignoring Daichi getting changed directly in your peripheral vision.

“Fuck sake!” You cuss, getting destroyed by an absolute douchebag of a player. Daichi sits on the bed next to you, laying his head on your thighs as he caressed them.

“Been thinking about you all day, baby.” He hums, taking in your scent as he played with the hem of your shorts. You bit your lip, unable to take your eyes off the screen as you lay back a little in bed.

Your attention was so focused on the game you didn’t even hear him say he was horny, something about him getting hard at practice and having to go to the bathroom and adjust his shorts to hide his raging hard-on.

“You suck at this, you know?” Daichi teased, hoping that would at least get you to look at him but no dice. You kept playing, unaware of your boyfriends blatant requests for sex.

Daichi sighed and sat up, staring down at you on the bed as you shift your eyes a little to look at him as he got up, unsure why he moved away from his position.

Daichi crawled on top of you and started kissing your neck, you letting out a small gasp as he expertly found your favorite spot and nibbled a little. You shuffle in bed, eyes still trying to look at the game and play as he kissed and sucked on your neck.

You’re slowly getting turned on as Daichi grabbed you and kissed you with such feral hunger, pausing the game as you throw the controller onto the floor and run your fingers through his hair.

“Oh don’t stop playing now, Y/N.” Daichi said, sarcasm coating his tongue, pulling his hoodie off of you. You say nothing, blinking at him dumbly after the sloppy neck kisses he gave you.

Daichi went down and grabbed your breast, taking the other in his mouth as he licked and sucked on your exposed nipple, drawing soft moans from your throat.

“Go on, baby. Finish your game. Don’t mind me.” He said smirking, continuing his work on your breasts. The pit of your stomach was fluttering, the spot between your legs gettign wetter with each lick on your nipples.

Your focus on the game became hazy, running around aimlessly as players kill you easily. Your breathy moans fill the room as Daichi trailed kisses down to the waistband of your shorts, pulling them and your panties off expertly as he gathered your slick on the tips of fingers.

You arch your back, struggling to even get a single kill as Daichi slurped on your pussy, growling into you as your legs quiver and close in on the sides of his head. He chuckled, shoving two fingers inside as he fingered you and devored you at the same time drawing long drawn out moans from your lips.

You’re AFK at this point, players getting a free kill off your stilled character as Daichi devoured your aching pussy.

“Daichiiiii-hah! I-I can’t take a-anymore.~” you whine, at this point not even playing the game. You want to touch him, ruffle your fingers into his hair or something but he insists that you keep playing.

Your eyes could hardly stay open, your whole body convulsing as Daichi makes his assault on your clit with his mouth, his fingers hooking to poke at that spot you love. He laughed as he listened to you whine and get killed in game, you’re so fucked out that you can hardly focus on what’s in front of you.

The pit of your stomach formed a knot raring to snap in seconds, your face pulling into a lewd look as you pant and moan loudly into Daichi’s room. Finally you’re pushed over the edge, a raspy moan leaving your mouth as Daichi licked you for all you had. Before pulling away, he licked up your thigh, looking you in the eye as he smirked at your cute exhausted face.

You squirm, watching limply as Daichi sat up to pull down his sweatpants and boxers.

“You ready, baby? I can’t wait to be inside you.” He huffed, revealing his hard dick as it slapped against his stomach. You nod, spreading your legs open wider for him like a good girl should.

Daichi grabs the controller off the floor; since you dropped it while you were screaming his name, and handed it to you, telling you to keep playing.

“Don’t drop the controller no matter what, understand baby?” He coos, inching himself inside you slowly as you gasp as the stretch of his entrance.

You’re still sensitive from being eaten out, wet and ready for him as he slips deeper inside you. And here you are, desperately attempting to play Call or Duty while your boyfriend rearranged your guts in an agonizingly slow pace. You let out little whimpers with each rut of Daichi’s hips, clenching onto the controller as you just stare at the screen. Your eyes roll back, panting as he started to pick up some speed.

“D-D-Daiichii, f-fuck!” You squeal, earning a low chuckle from Daichi as he pinned your legs down on the bed, your feet above your head now. He obviously didn’t care if you paid any attention to the game now as he fucked you so hard it was impossible to focus on anything else but Daichi’s dick kissing your cervix as he rubbed circles on your puffy clit.

“I’m cumming soon, baby. Wait for me, okay?” Daichi cooed, leaning in to give you a wet kiss. You struggle to kiss him back, huffing into his mouth as he fucked you brain-dead.

He’s urging you to cum now, mumbling something to you about how close you are, he can feel you clenching down on him; let go baby he hummed.

That’s the last thing you hear before you’re screaming, your back arching off the bed as Daichi fucked you through your orgasm. Daichi came hot inside you, painting your insides white as he groaned against your neck.

He climbed to the other side of the bed and laid beside you, breathing unevenly from the work he just put in. You’re a fucked out mess, laying limp in your boyfriend’s bed as you turn your head to look at the t.v.

You had been kicked out of the lobby for inactivity, getting a few hate messages from angry teammates but whatever. It was Daichi’s account anyways. You sigh, leaning into his chest as you listen to his heartbeat and cuddle with him.

Cuddling with Daichi after sex was the best part, other than the mind blowing orgasms he’d give you he was always sure to make you feel loved and adored afterwards.

Daichi chuckled weakly and landed a playful pat on your ass, as a “good game” praise.

“That’ll teach you to ignore me.” He said breathily, causing you to bury your face into his chest in embarrassment.

#haikyuu x reader #haikyuu smut #daichi sawamura #daichi smut #haikyuu hinata #haikyuu kageyama #haikyuu tobio #haikyuu nishinoya #haikyuu tanaka #haikyuu keiji akaashi

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nastybuckybarnes · 3 years

Text

Of Kings and Beasts - Two

Pairing: King!Bucky X Princess!Reader X King!Steve

Summary: Born a bastard of the King of Orlen, you’re thrusted to the West to marry the Kings. However, the greeting you get is anything but warm, and your life with the King is far from enjoyable. He knows it isn’t your fault his husband is gone, but that fact alone won’t prevent him from taking it out on you.

Warnings: Dark Themes, Smut, NonCon, Language, Kinda Slow Burn, Bucky with the mood swings, Probably poor editing

Word Count: 3.2K

A/n: I cannot put into words how tired I am rn like idk why im so tired all the time but I am. Anyway, here's another part of this cause I like this series but its SO FUCKING DARK LIKE SO DAMN DARK PLEASE BE WARNED!! I HAD TO TAKE A BREAK FROM WRITING PART THREE BECAUSE ITS FUCKING DARK

THIS SERIES CONTAINS SMUT AND VERY DARK THEMES THAT MAY BE TRIGGERING TO SOME AUDIENCES!!! READ AT YOUR OWN RISK!!!

PART ONE

~*~

“Your Majesty? Are you feeling at all better today?” You shake your head, curled up on your bed in the fetal position in a pathetic attempt at blocking out the world.

“Please, Majesty. A walk and some fresh air will do you well. It needn’t be long.” You sigh and push your blankets away from your face.

“You will not stop until I agree, will you?” Natasha smiles gently at you. “I’m afraid not, Your Majesty. It is only for your health that I insist.” She helps you to your feet, a frown on her face at the way you struggle still to move.

“You are still in pain?” You simply nod, wincing when she has you step into a dress.

“The pain is more bearable than it was.” She nods, mind wandering as she helps you into your dress for the day.

It’s a simple navy dress with a gold string wrapping around the waist. The sleeves hang past your fingers and you toy with the pretty fabric while Natalia holds an arm around your waist.

The walk is painful and slow and with every step, you wish you were back in your room.

From the looks you get from the staff, you know it’s known how unwelcome you are. This is not how you thought your union would be at all.

~*~

“You were supposed to take care of her! Treat her with kindness and compassion! Not leave her bloody on her bed once you’ve satisfied your need!” Natalia snarls, slamming her hand on the King’s desk. He looks up at her, a bored expression on his face until he processes her words. Then his expression gradually changes to one of regret.

“I... I hadn’t meant to be so rough with her. She... I just... It’s a betrayal, Natalia. I’ve broken my oath to the man I love.” She shakes her head, glaring at him.

“No, it is not. You and Steven made an agreement that you would find a queen. You chose her specifically. And now that Steve is no longer here you’re wanting to back out? That is not how this works, James, and you know that.”

He grinds his teeth together so hard he’s surprised they don’t break.

“That’s exactly the problem! Every time I look at her I’m reminded of him! Because we were supposed to have her together! We were supposed to marry her together and bed her together! She is not mine, she was meant to be ours!”

“And so you treat her like a burden because your husband is not here? You act as though she is nothing more than a whore? That woman in there has feelings, James.” The king pinches the bridge of his nose, squeezing his eyes shut to try and reign in his anger.

“You could never possibly understand what it is that I’m feeling. I already admitted to being rougher than I wanted to be. And I should have stopped, but I needed to get it through to consummate the marriage.”

Nat pauses at his words, hoping he doesn’t mean what she thinks he means.

“What do you mean you should have stopped? Did she tell you to stop?”

He swallows hard before nodding.

“She... I could hardly understand her, she was crying so much, but she begged me to a-and she was pushing me away. But I didn’t.”

The harsh sound of her hand connecting with his cheek echoes through the room. The King is stunned but he knows he deserves far worse than a mere smack.

“I never thought you capable of such cruelty, James. That woman is your wife, the Queen of your Kingdom, and you have treated her as if she is the one who took your husband from you.”

He grows angry at the mention of the man he loves. “She is attempting to replace him!” He exclaims, slamming his fist down on his desk to enunciate his point.

“How could you possibly know that?!” Nat counters, her voice raised to match his.

“She has said nothing about wanting to replace Steven! She was well aware that she would be bound to both kings, not just you. I’m sure she is wondering about where her other husband is, why he has not been seen. You need to talk to her. Apologize for brutalizing her the way you have. Mend your relationship with her because she is the only chance you have at continuing your bloodline. She is the only one who can ensure your reign continues.”

The King is silent, mulling over her words before sighing heavily.

“Where is she?”

Nat crosses her arms over her chest. “It has been four days since your marriage and you are only just asking now? She has been unable to walk for the past three days, so she has remained in her chambers. I forced her for a short walk today, but I do not think it did much to lift her spirits.” His jaw clenches for a moment before he lets a breath out through his nose.

“When she is healed I shall talk to her.” It’s not much, but it’s a start, and that’s all Natalia can ask for.

It’s two days after that before you can walk on your own, and even then you’ve got a severe limp. It’s two more days after that before you can sit down on anything besides your bed. It isn’t until ten days after the consummation of your marriage that you leave your room again.

“If you’re feeling healed, the King would like you to join him for tea on his private balcony.”

You’re shocked at Wanda’s words, but you try to hide it, offering her a nod while she helps you get dressed into a simple light blue gown.

She leads you through the Palace towards a side that you’ve never seen before, not that you’ve had much of a chance to explore. When you reach a set of grand oak doors you find yourself growing increasingly nervous.

Wanda, oblivious to your racing heart, knocks twice on the wood then bows to you before scurrying down the hallway and out of sight.

“Enter,” a muffled voice calls. You take a deep breath and push the door open, keeping your eyes cast downwards as you enter the King’s chambers.

His eyes find you immediately, a frown on his face at the way you keep your eyes down on the floor.

“I am glad you’ve rested and recovered,” he says, his frown deepening when you flinch at his voice. You say nothing in reply, simply stand with your hands folded gently atop your skirts.

“Come over to me. The tea is waiting.” You nod, risking a glance up to find where he is and walking over to him. He sits at a small table on the balcony, his attention focused somewhere over the horizon, and you risk taking a breath in.

You carefully sit down on the chair across from him, a wince flashing over your features as discomfort flares between your thighs. The expression doesn’t go unnoticed by him, and a wave of guilt washes through him.

“I... I wanted to apologize for our wedding night. And... I do hope that you can forgive me for my actions and we can start anew.”

You’re beyond surprised and look up at him, unable to stop the look of shock from crossing your face. “Y-you have nothing to apologize for, Your Majesty.”

He watches you, watches the way your fingers tremble as you reach out for the teacup. Watches the way you avoid his eyes and shrink into yourself as if to seem as unthreatening and small as possible.

You’re afraid.

Not that he’s surprised, necessarily. What, with the way he treated you? He’s shocked you’re holding yourself together so well.

“I had not intended on being so rough with you. Especially not on our first night together. You must understand that I am not myself as of late. I am... worried about my husband. Hoping to find him soon.” You nod, Wanda’s words echoing in your head.

“There is nothing for me to forgive, Your Majesty. I understand the way you’d like for us to get along and I understand my purpose and my place. You needn’t strain yourself over me. It is my duty to be at your leisure, even if it is not what I desire.”

Your words stun him into silence, the tension growing between the two of you.

“(Y/n),” your name feels foreign on his tongue yet so very right. “When I said what I had said yesterday... All I meant was that-” “Forgive me, Your Majesty, but I do believe I understood. I am not so foolish as to believe that this marriage was for anything besides politics. You and the King need an heir and I am here to provide one. That is my place, as you said. Now I do hope you will excuse me, for I am feeling rather delicate and would very much like to return to my chambers.”

He says nothing, simply nods his head and watches as you hold back another wince as you stand up.

He isn’t alone for long. No, Natalia is strolling into his chambers mere moments after you’ve left.

“That was brief,” she says, eyes taking note of the untouched tea that sits across from the King.

“I apologized. That is all that was required of me, yes?” She groans and shakes her head. “How will Steve feel if, when he returns, you and the Queen cannot remain in the same room? You know that he will be beyond disappointed.”

“What am I to do? I tried to speak with her about it but she... it seems to be strictly political. She does not seem to even want to entertain the idea of anything beyond a loveless marriage.”

“Is that, perhaps because she is afraid of how you will treat her if she were to express her desire to be wanted? If you cannot express with words how you feel, then do so with your actions.”

He doesn’t come to you that night. Nor the night after.

It isn't until the third day after that that you see him again. Even then it isn’t any different than the last time.

You’re leaving your chambers to go for a walk in the garden, something Wanda and Nat have been encouraging upon realizing you’re not feeling like yourself.

“I’m telling you, James. I think it’s him.” That’s Samuel’s voice.

“I think he’s right. We should go see. Send a team out. It doesn’t look like they are very securely guarding him. We could go in and have him back within a month.” That one’s Natalia.

Wanda’s chattering goes unnoticed by you as you realize they’re talking about King Steven.

“If you’re sure about this, then gather a team and have the horses prepped. We’ll leave at dusk.”

As they’re rounding the corner they nearly bump right into you. You and Wanda both stop, both of you dropping into a curtsy while Nat and Sam bow.

“Your Majesty,” they greet. You nod at them, eyes cast down.

“You two are both dismissed. You as well, Lady Wanda. I require a word with my wife.” You’re confused at him calling you his wife but you say nothing, eyes stuck on the ground as three sets of footsteps walk away from you.

He’s quiet, watching the way you avoid his eyes.

Finally, unable to bear the silence anymore and wanting to have him be through with whatever it is he wants, you speak.

“You are leaving?” He waits until you glance up at him to answer.

“I will be, yes. We are not sure how long I shall be gone for. But before I leave I’ll be coming to you in your chambers. There’s the chance that I won’t return, so I need to do my part in ensuring my lineage continues. I haven’t come to you to allow you time to recover, but there is only so long you can expect a man to wait for his wife.” You say nothing, simply nod at him.

“I shall be waiting for you, Your Majesty. Is that all?” He lets out a deep breath before speaking again.

“I require an heir, (Y/n). If I am gone for any longer than two months and you are not with child when I return, I will not be as accommodating as I have been.” You can’t help the scoff that leaves you.

“Is something funny to you?”

You look up at him for a moment then shake your head.

“I beg your pardon, Your Majesty. I just hadn’t realized that this was you being accommodating.”

He grabs your face roughly in his flesh hand, fingers digging into your cheeks and forcing you to look at him.

“You watch your tongue with me, woman. If you forget your place I will need to remind you of it, won’t I? But you don’t want that.” Your heart races in your chest and you quickly shake your head ‘no’.

“Remember your place. Or I will beat you back into it. Understand?” You nod and only after a moment longer does he release his grip on your chin.

You drop your head, eyes focused on the ground as he walks away from you. Tears sting at your eyes and you take a few minutes to compose yourself before walking back into the Palace, heading for your chambers.

~*~

He doesn’t bother knocking. He just pushes the door open and makes himself at home. To his surprise, you’re seated on your bed in a nightgown, nose buried in a book.

You’re so caught up in whatever you’re reading that you don’t even notice him.

He takes this moment to really take you in, eyes inspecting your face.

You’re beautiful, that much he and Steve gathered long before even deciding on marrying you. You have a gentle beauty to your face that is such a refreshing change to all the hard and gruesome things he’s seen in his life. He hates that all he wants to do is stare at you.

He notices that. your face lacks its usual glow, and you have dark bags beneath your eyes. Making a mental note to tell Nat to make sure you sleep properly, he takes a step towards you.

You glance upwards, jumping at the way he stands watching you.

He takes another step towards you, unbuttoning his shirt and walking closer to you. You set your book aside and swallow hard.

“How will you have me?” He pulls his bottom lip between his teeth, eyeing you for a moment before deciding.

“On your back.” You push the blankets aside and lay down on your back, trying to take deep breaths.

He takes hold of your ankles and gently tugs you down the bed until your bum is at the edge.

His member slaps against your slit and you jolt, tears welling up in your eyes at the memories of the last time this happened.

Instead of pushing into you dry like he did last time, he leans down and spits right on your intimate area. Shame fills you at how close he comes to you, and at the lewd act, but he seems unfazed. He does the same to his length then slowly pushes in.

There isn’t nearly enough lubricant, and it pinches and burns, but it’s not nearly as painful as last time.

That, however, doesn’t stop the tears from raining down your cheeks. Your chest shudders, silent sobs trying to break free. You bring your hands up to your face, pressing one to your mouth and the other shielding the rest of your face from view.

The King stops moving, his brows furrowed and eyes focused on what he can see of your face, trying to see if he’s causing you pain.

“A-am I hurting you?” He asks, his voice strained. You shake your head, keeping your eyes closed and waiting for him to keep going.

He’s hesitant but slowly starts thrusting again, pressing his face into your neck if only so he doesn’t have to see the tears on your face. The tears he’s causing.

It pains him to see such sorrow when a pretty face like yours should only be happy. He hates himself for knowing he’s the cause, but he can’t very well stop. He has a job to do, an heir to create.

He focuses instead on how your body feels beneath him. Soft and squishy in all the perfect places. And by the Gods, you’re so tight and warm around him. He groans softly against your neck, lips subconsciously pressing kisses to the skin as he approaches his climax.

You hold your breath as he fills you with warmth again, his breath hot and damp against your skin.

He stays sheathed within you for a few moments longer before pulling out and tucking his cock back into his trousers.

“I leave in a few hours. My councilmen are in charge while I am gone. Remember your place.” You don’t answer and he pauses, leaning down to grab your face the same way he did before.

“What occurs between us in our bed remains between you and me. I do not want to hear of you saying a word about it to anyone. You are mine and I shall treat you how I want.” You nod, mind and body numb.

“Good. I shall return shortly. If I will be gone longer than a month I will send word.” He exits without another word, leaving you used and broken yet again.

~*~

The riders leave as soon as the sun sets, the king leading them. You watch through the small window in your room, heart heavy as you realize that you well and truly serve but one purpose to the man.

“Dinner, your Majesty.” You glance over your shoulder to where Wanda is holding a tray of food.

“No thank you, Wanda. I am not hungry tonight. If you don’t mind, I’d like to go to bed.” She nods, setting the tray down and hurrying to get your bed ready.

“I can do that tonight, Wanda. I would... I would like some time alone, please.” She pauses, the pain in your voice far more evident than you wanted it to be.

“Of course, Your Majesty.” She bows her head, picks up the tray of food, then hurries out of your chambers and leaves you alone for the night.

You hardly sleep at all, silent tears tracking down your cheeks as thoughts of how much better your old life was fill your mind.

You truly are no better than a prisoner, and for a moment you find yourself wishing you were beheaded with your mother.

#king!bucky #king!steve rogers x reader #king!bucky x Princess!reader X king!steve #king!Steve X reader #king au #bucky x reader king au #Steve X reader king au #stucky #stucky fanfic #stucky/reader #stucky x reader au #royal!au #bucky x reader royal au #bucky x reader royal au #steve rogers x reader #Steve Rogers x reader x bucky #bucky x reader x steve #Steve X reader x bucky

627 notes · View notes

warmau · 4 years

Text

love struck!au x tbz

find other love struck!aus here: monsta x | day6 | ateez *this post was commissioned through kofi

sangyeon

confident sangyeon spends half the day flirting with you

then shy sangyeon spends the rest of the day running embarrassment laps around the creker building

he has high spikes of adrenaline where its just quite literally circling you with hearts in his eyes and doves singing

and then low long silent moments where he sits in a corner, muttering at the wall and everyone is like what is going on with him

if he could he might just spend eternity flip-flopping between the two

it’d take an intervention to get him to just seize the opportunity during one of his more positive moods to just ask you on a date

the only problem is he talks so fast and so jumbled and waves his hands around

and you’re like wh-

and he’s like datetommorrowcoffeeorteawhichdoyoupreferdoyounotevenwanteitherwhataboutumlikeamoviepleasesayyes

once again you are like ?

and sangyeons meter of confidence is slowly depleting hes about to run away until sunwoo is like

let me step in and translate:

sangyeon wants to go on a date with you tomorrow

when you brighten up and accept, sangyeon just breathes a sigh of relief and maybe almost tips over from the intense amount of feelings hitting him at once lol

jacob

no one takes him seriously when he starts saying he likes you

not because you’re unlikable but because jacob says it with such normalcy that everyone is like

nah

if you liked them, you would definitely be all mushy and shy and embarrassed about it

and jacob is like what are you talking about im not embarrassed to have a crush on someone i think is really awesome

even kevin is like dude don’t push it - you shouldnt make jokes about liking people

and jacob is just like *blinks*

but seriously, everyone expects him to be writing lyrics in secret and practicing some kind of grand serenade to ask you out - like you’re literally an angel dude so you have to like someone in the most cupid-esque way possible

which jacob is just like :/ about because there’s no right way to show someone how much you like them-

juyeon: sorry what i was not listening?

you on the other hand, don’t ever even catch wind of it because jacob is so sweet at all times

polite, caring, gentle touches, lots of eye contact, little smiles that make your heart melt, the usual

that you just assume he’s like this to everyone so of course you are clueless and his lack of grandiose confessions is making everyone else clueless too

until one day jacob is like fine if no one believes me ill just tell them a

nd everyone in the room is like pfft would love to see you try-

three seconds later jacob is standing in front of you and saying “want to date me?” and you’re so shocked you can’t speak

but the rest of tbz is so shocked at least three of them nearly faint

younghoon

keeps his mouth shut

literally like shut shut like not a WORD to you or to anyone in a five foot distance of you

he’ll be talking to chanhee about something and you’ll walk in and suddenly younghoon just hits pause

chanhee is like hello are you broken hello and younghoon is just _____

until you walk out of the room and then he’s like

“-that’s why i think we shouldn’t include that dance move”

and chanhee is like what the hael just happened

you will be in a conversation and pull younghoon over to join you and when you’re like what do you think!!!!!!!1

he looks at you and the cognitive function for speech just disappears

maybe its your cute face accelerating his heartbeat or maybe its the all the nerves in his body going haywire because all he wants to say is how much he really really likes you

but he can’t just SAY that so instead he says nothing

sometimes he’s lucky and members who understand this younghoon lovestruck glitch are around can save him

but sometimes its just you and him and silence until youre like ok- well-

you think maybe he just doesnt want to talk to you because he doesnt like you

so you apologize for bothering him

and its like everything that has ever blocked him from speaking before just flies out the window

because suddenly younghoon is holding your hands in his and saying

“no, im sorry. i just dont know what to say because i like you so much.”

it’s the longest sentence you’ve ever heard from him

and you are so flustered but all you can say back is

“you can keep saying ‘i like you’ if you want...........”

younghoon for the rest of the week: i like you

you: giddy

tbz: kinda wishing he’d shut it again

hyunjae

there’s no lovestruck period, it’s straight up infatuation from day ONE

and it comes at full force

hyunjae is like bubblegum, stuck to you and only you

sugary sweet and always reminding you that he is available whenever you decided you want to take him

it can really overwhelm someone, because his attention is fixated and forthcoming

and i mean you’d really have to lack all the common sense in the world not to see that he’s interested

but that’s the thing interest is not always a form of sincerity so you just kind of chalk it up to him trying to be funny

and he sprawls across your lap like a cat

happy with the fact that you just giggle and smile because ok you might never believe that he’s so in love with you it hurts but at least you still let him near you

really people probably ask you if you’re dating him and when you say you’re not their follow up is usually like well arent you exhausted having someone you dont love always around

and you’re like um - no well - i mean - and you are like ok i mean i do love him but im not going to be a fool and fall into a trap of thinking im special

and hyunjae will literally be like they are special. i feel nothing for anyone else, it is just them

and you’re like see! he’s so sweet!

and at some point i think you either drive hyunjae crazy and he kisses you because words are pointless - actions are everything

or chanhee pushes you two into each other from pure, unfiltered annoyance

“if you love each other stop pretending like it’s a big joke and just DATE!”

juyeon

return to kindergarten romance

literally he sees you and goes pink to the ears and slinks behind his friends even though he’s taller than most of them

and he can barely hide the fact that he jumps over the rainbow when your shoulders brush in the halls

if no one knew any better, juyeon probably scribbles your name in hearts on a notebook page somewhere

but then crumples it up and almost eats it if anyone tries to see what he’s up to

but again you enter the vicinity and he’s goo - muttering and forgetting to string nouns to verbs or whatever

everyone is so amazed that someone with so much charisma on stage can turn this goddamn goofy around someone he likes

and you are energetic and bright - you always want to pull juyeon into the loop - and you think the flustered look on his face is just from genuine surprise or confusion

and you’re like “oh! let me explain what we’re doing blah blah blah” and yes juyeon knows you guys are going to play monopoly but like words? dont? come ? out ? of ? his ? mouth?

and just like kindergarten he probably ends up writing you a note about how much he likes you (tick this box for yes and this box for no) or some form of that

maybe like a text where he is like hi do you want to go on a date and it was actually supposed to be like a ten page essay about why he likes you but then he got too nervous to send it so yeah

its a text that comes out of the blue and when you agree and see juyeon in person the next day you’re like why didn’t you just ask me like months ago

and once again, words? dont? come? out? of? his? mouth?

kevin

gift giving

nonstop gift giving

like to a point where jacob is worried about kevin’s spending habits

but it is all like handmade items and cute stuff he sees that reminds him of you

and everyone knows he has a crush before he can even process it because they’re doing a show halfway across the country and everyone is like practicing or doing something on their own

and kevin’s like guys look i saw this in a shop and it reminded me of-

all of tbz looking at him like: we know who it reminded you of

he plays it off though when he gives you the gifts, he’s like ah this was just like in my bag or whatever or oh i made this extra keychain when i had a day off like do you want it

and kevin thinks he is so sly and covering it up so damn well but he isn’t

you try to give gifts back, mostly because you feel bad that he’s always offering something to you

and one day you are like - at first as a kind of jest - like “here ill just give you myself in return”

and you throw your arms around his neck like you’ve done a million times before and oh shit you think kevin is going to pass out with how fast his heart starts beating and how he overheats

and you’re like kevin?!??!?! are you ok!?!??! and he’s like areyouserious

and you’re like wh and he’s like are you serious about that,,,,and you’re like oh well i mean do you even want someone like me

and kevin unblinkingly is like of course you are the only person i want

and suddenly you realize that these gifts youve been getting are kevin’s love language and its so freaking cute

(but also stop spending money just give kisses instead) (kevin agrees but he is still like im buying you anything cute i see because u are cute and cute people deserve cute things we love kevin moon logic)

changmin

ignores his feelings by throwing himself into his work

much to the surprise of no one, because he’s naturally a workoholic and perfectionist, but this time something is off

no one should be beating themselves up over such miniscule mistakes like he is

and hyunjae is convinced changmin has finally lost it, like the goddamn lid has flew off the kettle with this one

because they finish practice and everyone is clapping and changmin looks like he’s going to crush the speakers with his bare hands

less lovestruck as he is loveconfused because the real reason he’s so upset is like

he wants to focus so hard on being a great performer and whatnot but when he shuts his eyes or takes a moment to breath

his brain is fuzzy with thoughts of you and not like super romantic flowery thoughts like you see in movies or read in comics

its just little snapshots of you being,,,,,,,,,,,you

laughing along with eric, fixing the hem of your shirt in the mirror, waving at changmin before looking both ways and crossing the street to his side

GOD WHEN HAS SOMEONE CROSSING THE STREET MADE HIS HEART DO A BACKFLIP

the worst thing is he can’t seem to find a way for it to stop until like you are actually in front of him

like the real you - not the memories and thoughts he has daily of you - no just you

and you’re putting your hands on his face and he’s sweaty and hot from dancing for god knows how long and you’re like

“don’t wear yourself out like this, take care of yourself - if you don’t want to do it for you - can you do it for me?”

and changmin realizes oh right - for you, for you he could move mountains, for you he could fly, like seriously for you he could do anything

and he thinks he just says this to himself but he just said it outloud and somewhere in the room hyunjae is slapping his knee like

“AH! he’s not nuts - he’s just in love.”

chanhee

falls head over heels for you and expects you to read his mind about it

you walk into a room and he sits up a little straighter and is like ok one step two step ok come over to me, look at me, pay attention to me

and you - because you are not a mindreader - go to talk to juyeon first

and chanhee is like OH I SEE HOW IT IS and gets all moody there on out

honest to god he probably knows he’s overreacting but he just does not get why you cant tell how he’s feeling

and he asks like everyone this question and theyre like what? because you aren’t making it obvious at all?

and chanhee is like what the hell do you mean i totally make it obvious and everyone is like did you ask them out? did you get them a gift? did you compliment them?

and chanhee crosses his arms like no......but like......i smiled at them in a way i dont smile at the rest of you clowns

tbz: :/

either way, you start to notice this pattern, that when chanhee is not getting your attention he gets a little like a cat and curls himself away from you

so you, much like one with a cat, start to shower him in attention

and he just uncurls and gets all giddy and swats anyone away who tries to get into your little bubble with him

and its a bit entertaining really lol but you think its just chanhee being chanhee

till it keeps happening over and over and over again and you’re like ok wait

and chanhee is like hmm and you’re like why dont we just go somewhere alone together like on a date or something if thats what you like so much

and chanhee, who has been under the suspicion you have been going on dates sitting together in the tbz practice room is like

“oh right! a date, um i guess sure!”

inside he is screaming

haknyeon

does not waste time, he puts his detective hat on and makes a plan

for one of the youngest members he probably puts the most diligence into liking someone

its not just lovestruck butterflies and running away whenever you’re around

haknyeon swats all that gooey-mushy stuff away and is like ok lets see what movies do you like? what kind of food do you like? he has to know so that when he asks you out he is ready to impress

it shocks some of his other members, sangyeon has never seen haknyeon almost bite younghoon’s hand when he tried to as him to get off the shared desktop

haknyeon just wants to know everything about you - which kevin says he could probably do by talking more to you

and haknyeon is like go away grandpa and kevin is like WH-

either way, when it all comes to a head and haknyeon has memorized what he’s going to say in his confession to you for the one millionth time

he does not prepare for what actually happnes

which is you bound up to him with your arms open and you’re like let’s hang out! just the two of us!

and he’s like ok ill go get the other- wait

haknyeon.exe has stopped working

because truth be told he’d spend so much time trying to research and be perfect when all you really like about him is how fun and eccentric he can be

so you just ask him out first and this was not in the plan, but haknyeon is not about to let go of your warm hand as you pull him along beside you

sunwoo

swears to deny it to his grave because one) it’s embarrassing and.........no that’s it. it is embarrassing to have feelings

jacob: feelings aren’t embarrassing! they’re the reason we can care so deeply about others <3

sunwoo: ok nerd........keep it moving

and unlike younghoon who just goes silent around the people he likes or juyeon who tries to find sangyeon to hide behind

sunwoo just straight up is like cold. and you are like what didi i do?

everyone is just like he’s complicated, it’s just who he is and he’s young so just ignore him

but it makes you sad that sunwoo just doesn’t want to be your friend

and in sunwoo’s head he’s like I DONT WANT TO BE YOUR FRIEND BECAUSE YOU ARE MY DREAM PERSON BUT THATS SO FREAKING CORNY TO SAY SO LET ME JUST MAKE GRUMPY FACE

he also has such a bad luck, even when he’s not trying to come off mean he probably accidentally spills something on you or breaks something of yours

and instead APOLOGIZING like everyone is telling him to do he just yoinks out of the room and you’re like damn :(

to be honest, i think the more you guys get distant the more sunwoo falls deeper into it because even with everything

you are always so kind and sweet and how? like how? how are you doing that?

it probably takes a miracle or actually just like someone spilling the beans to you that sunwoo stayed up all night trying to fix the bracelet of yours he broke for it to all change

for you to find sunwoo and hug him and thank him for trying to fix it and the minute you touch him its like

all these stupid little walls he built melt into nothing and sunwoo is just like i like you so much im sorry im so dumb and you’re like

well you’re like shocked but youre like im sorry i also like you and im also dumb sometimes

both of you standing there wide eyed but also like super super super giddy

one day you aren’t even talking to each other the next day you are cuddling on the couch

kevin: these people are giving me literal whiplash

eric

thinks you’ll never feel the same way so he does the next best thing, he tries to be your bestest friend

for someone so spunky and confident in himself most of the time you’d think lovestruck eric would just GO for it

but more than he is like outgoing and brave, he is devoted to people he loves

and losing you as a friend over confessing his feelings would probably spiral him into a dark place

so he’ll just take his spot as a super close friend, and horrible wingman

who tries to get you to admit that you like someone in the group when you have told eric ten times no you dont like changmin like that and yes juyeon is cute but youre not interested

and eric just wants you to be happy and he thinks youre lying and keeping it from him because like you think it would be weird to date someone in tbz

and he’s like cmon tell me! or do you like someone from skz, im friends with felix - do you think he’s cute

and at some point it wears you down and you are just like over to play video games and have fun with eric

and he’s like hey felix said you were pretty when i showed him a photo and you are like ERIC LISTEN TO ME and he’s like blinking like oh?

and you’re like i do like someone but its you and so since that isnt going to happen lets move on

and eric is like lets not move on because from the minute i saw you i thought cupid lodged an arrow so deep in my heart its been stuck their permanently and yes i watched hercules last night so i made that analogy isn’t it about time you kissed me so i would shuttup?

and when you do you’re like ok i have wanted to do that SO many times and he’s like well you should have

and youre like dont be sassy i will bring up every oppurtunity you tried to hook me up with your group member if you do and he’s like

i will shut my mouth forever if that is what you wish <3

#the boyz au #the boyz imagines #the boyz scenarios #tbz au #tbz imagines #member: the boyz #tbz scenarios #the boyz #tbz #sfw #the way younghoon is the ideal man: nothing to say just heart eyes in a stupor JK trgkdls

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goldenroutledge · 3 years

Note

hey love! whenever you get the chance could you do a pope x reader where they are taking a drive and blasting music, and just enjoying each others company? i’ve recently fell in love with pope and your imagines are the actually best!!!!

lost & found

pairing(s): pope heyward x reader, platonic!pogues x reader

word count: 3.1k

warning(s): some swearing maybe but just a whole lot of fluff

a/n: thank you for requesting this anon!! its been a long time coming and im sorry for the wait but i hope u enjoy. its kinda like a 3 times pope shows he loves you + the 1 time he says it. also, thanks again for 400 🤍🤍

pope heyward masterlist

Mutual pining; when two people like or love each other but think the other one isn't interested. A definition that fit your circumstances exactly, but was unbeknownst to you. In your mind, it was nothing but unrequited love.

Your friendship with Pope had been the closest out of the pogues forever. None of them bothered in competing with the closeness of you two, because they knew they couldn’t measure up. It was unspoken, almost, the dynamic between the group. There were the pogues as a whole, then there was you and Pope. Anyone with eyes could see that there was something far beyond friendship there. The fact that you both were pretty much waiting for the other gave it away, really.

one.

“Y/n, if I ask a favor of you, will you promise not to hate me?” Sarah questioned from beside you in the back of the Twinkie. John B driving, JJ up front beside him, Kie and Pope sitting across from you.

“Depends, what is it?”

She focused on the colorful bracelet on her wrist to avoid eye contact. “Hypothetically, would you be mad if I set you up on a blind date?” You hadn’t noticed Pope look up at the two of you as the words ‘blind date’ fell from Sarah’s lips, awaiting your response.

“As in you already have or you’re thinking about it? Because if you’re thinking, then stop. And if you’ve already set it up, cancel.” You informed the girl.

“Why?” She frowned. “You haven’t been out with anyone in forever. You and this Jake would make a really cute couple, too.”

“First of all, I’m not going out with anyone named Jake, Sarah Cameron. And how would you know if I’ve been on any dates, anyways?”

“Are you kidding? You’ve shot down like, every guy on this island. Some of these dudes would die to be your boyfriend, Y/n.” Sarah debated.

“Maybe she’s mackin’ someone on the low and doesn’t want your big mouth to find out.” JJ chirped, receiving a smack over the head from John B for the minor insult to his girlfriend.

“Maybe she doesn’t want any of these morons around here.” Kie chimed in.

“Or maybe, I just don’t want a relationship right now? Will you guys stop jumping to conclusions?” You interrupted, ending their theories.

“You mean, you don’t want a relationship if it’s not with P-” The sound of the ‘P’ barely escaped JJ’s lips before John B clasped a hand over the boy’s mouth to shut him up, whisper scolding him in the process.

“So you won’t give it a chance?” Sarah asked pleadingly.

“If she doesn’t wanna go, she doesn’t wanna go. Leave it alone.” Pope interjected, surprising you a bit.

“Thank you, Pope. At least someone gets it.” He softly smiled in response, but the smile didn’t reach his brown orbs. They appeared disappointed, but you couldn’t seem to understand why. The van had come to a stop, the others hopping out and heading inside of the store to pick up a few things.

The topic of conversation being your love life brought your mood down a little, so you opted to stay in the van and wait. Pope was kind enough to stay back with you, too. He could always sense when something was bothering you or shifted your energy. “You good?” He asked.

“Mhm. Sarah’s just kind of pushy sometimes, that’s all.” He chuckled at your words, nodding in agreement. “If I want to date someone I’ll do it on my own terms.”

“Yeah. You deserve to be happy, Y/n.” He admitted, forcing a small, but tight-lipped smile onto his otherwise cheery face.

“So do you, Pope.”

two.

Rain beat down on the island, thunder rumbling and lightning striking in the dark sky. You all had chosen to stay in at the Chateau, considering nobody wanted to drive back to their respective homes in the quickly worsening weather. The sound of rain was normally relaxing to you, but tonight it felt like anything but.

You tossed and turned in the bed of the spare room in John B’s house, throwing the covers on and off in an attempt to get comfortable. You had been stirred awake by not only the poor weather outside but a nightmare that had your heart and mind racing for a good few minutes. 2:47, the time on your phone read, the light harsh to your tired eyes.

Your throat felt dry and your body felt parched from dehydration. You tiptoed out to the kitchen, choosing your steps carefully while trying to avoid the creaky floorboards. Scooping the ice into your cup, a cube or two slipped out and hit the floor. “Shit!” You whispered at the noise. As you were picking up the fallen cubes to place in the sink, a set of footsteps were moving towards you.

“Y/n?” Pope muttered out sleepily, rubbing the tiredness from his eyes. You hadn’t expected to wake anyone up, involuntarily jumping at the sound of his voice.

“Jesus, you scared me.”

“Sorry.” He apologized. “What the hell are you doing up, anyway?”

You filled your glass with water, taking a much needed gulp. “Couldn’t sleep well.” You shrugged, the sound of the rain leaving no room for silence. “What about you?”

“I heard someone from the living room, figured it was you. You’ve always been a light sleeper.” He answered, eyes averting your bare legs from his the shirt you were wearing, while yours averted his bare chest and torso.

“Yeah. I’m gonna try to go back to bed, though. If the storm will allow it tonight.” You pointed out.

“Let me walk you back, so you don’t trip over your own feet this time.” He joked in reference to your accidental clumsiness at the most inconvenient times.

“Oh, shut up. You literally got your pants caught on a gate once. I think you’re winning.” You shot back in a hushed tone.

You set the glass on the nightstand, crawling into bed for the second time. “Whatever helps you sleep at night. Oh, wait, you don’t sleep at night.” Pope countered, satisfied with his remark as you only rolled your eyes. He bid you goodnight and headed for the door, just barely reaching the knob before you stopped him.

“Pope?”

“Yeah?”

“Do you think you could stay with me?”

His eyebrows raised. “On the floor?”

“No, idiot. In the bed. There’s room for both of us.” You acknowledged. “Please? I mean you said it yourself, whatever helps me sleep at night.”

He shook his head in disbelief as a smile pulled at his lips, calling himself crazy for thinking that this would mean something more than two friends sharing a bed for a night. Yet, he was still doing it anyway. He accepted the spot on the bed you patted for him, throwing the covers on and relaxing beside you. “You sure this is gonna help you sleep?”

“Of course, it is. Now that I have my favorite human radiator here with me.”

three.

Days spent together on the HMS pogue felt fewer and farther between, everyone’s schedules conflicting in one way or another. Surprisingly, the four pogues were able to agree on a day. Just four.

You were stuck studying for an upcoming exam, stressing yourself out to the max and not wanting to take a moment away from the material. If you had decided to go, you were sure that you wouldn’t be able to keep your mind off of the test anyway. It would only add to your worries, so you opted not to go. But urged Kie to tell the rest of them to have a fun day without you and pass on your apologies for canceling last minute.

“Ahh.” JJ emphasized, taking a long sip of his beer as he sat with his feet up on the edge of the boat. “What a nice day to do nothing.”

“Just like everyday?” Kie questioned him.

“Wrong. I have a job, Kiara.” He returned, the two of them shooting playful insults back and forth before Pope chimed in, noticing the direction John B was going.

“Isn’t Y/n coming? You missed her dock completely.”

“Oh, I forgot to tell you. She can’t make it today.” Kiara revealed.

“Did she say why?”

“Uhh, studying for a test I think. She sounded crazy stressed on the phone.” The girl recollected.

“JB? Can you drop me off at her dock, actually?” He asked the brunette.

John B shrugged. “I guess so. You think she wants company right now?”

“I know she wants someone right now. The least I could do is offer my help.” He elaborated to the group. They all stayed silent on the way to your dock, not wanting to interfere with the never ending love story between their dear friends Y/n and Pope. “Thanks, man.” Pope thanked his friend, hopping off the boat and onto the dock near your house as soon as it came to a slow.

“You want us to wait?”

“Sure, I’ll text you if I end up staying.” He told them, rushing to the patio door of your house and letting himself in. That wasn’t something out of the ordinary, as you gave Pope a key for emergencies anyway.

The knock on your bedroom door was barely audible, the information spinning in your head made it hard to hear anything else. He had to poke his head in and call out your name quietly for you to notice someone else was even in your house. “Hey, what are you doing here? Aren’t you supposed to be enjoying the boat day?” You sighed, dropping your pencil and moving the tired muscles in your hand.

“Kie told me you had to bail because of your exam, so, I thought you might want a study partner.” He explained, sitting beside you on the floor, both of your backs leaning against the frame of your bed.

“You didn’t have to do that. Today’s your day off.”

“And I’m choosing to spend it with my best friend. Is that a problem?” He countered.

“No, but you should go have fun with our friends. Don’t be cooped up inside just because I have to be.” He frowned at the tired expression on your face that wasn’t letting up.

“Don’t worry about it, Y/n. You’re stressing me out just listening to you.” He joked, looking around your bedroom floor to the scattered papers of loose note sheets and flashcards.

“Well, I am stressed. I don’t remember any of what I studied last night and if I don’t start remembering, I’m fucked.”

“Did you sleep at all last night? You do look tired, Y/ n.” Pope observed.

“I’m pretty sure I did. I passed out eventually.” You tried to think back, but decided it didn’t really matter anyway. “You want something to drink?” You offered while standing up, slightly wobbling with the quick movement.

Pope shot up to your height immediately, stabling you with his hands on your arms. “I can get us both some water. Stay here.”

“Forget the water, can you grab me a RedBull?” His eyebrows scrunched in confusion and disapproval of how you pushed your well-being to the backburner once again.

“How many glasses of water have you had today? Did you even have breakfast?”

“Lost count and once again, RedBull.”

“A RedBull does not count as breakfast.” He warned you.

“It does in this book. Can you just go grab me another one?” You asked in the politest tone you could pull off at the moment, rubbing your temples in exasperation.

“Water it is.”

He returned with a glass of water for each of you, handing yours to you. “You need to drink some water, Y/n.” You took a sip of the refreshing liquid, which turned into a gulp and a few more until the glass was empty.

“Wow. I was really thirsty.” You pointed out.

“No kidding, you haven’t drank a drop of water at all today.” He scolded.

You rolled your eyes, standing up to go refill your water. You lost your balance again, propping a hand up to the nearest sturdy object to stay upright. “Whoa.”

“Yeah, no.” He mumbled, coming to a conclusion in his head. “You need to lay down. Let me go find something for you to eat, and then you can take a nap.”

“A nap? A nap that I don’t have time for? Unless you plan on marrying me and taking my exam in my place-” You started, interrupted by Pope feeling your forehead for any signs of fever. “Ok, Dr. Pope. I think I’m fine.”

“Nuh-uh. You look exhausted, probably feel it too. Not to mention you’re dehydrated and hungry, and probably about to get sick if you don’t let your body reset.”

You sighed in surrender, sitting down on the edge of your bed. There was no use in arguing with him at this point. “Ok. Fine. But what happens when I bomb the exam?”

“That won’t happen. Once you feel better you’ll be able to retain the information better, too. Plus, no offense, but you’re disorganized as hell. Let me help fix that, then we can go over the notes later, okay?”

“Okay.” You agreed at last. He nodded before leaving the bedroom to make you some real food, slipping his phone out of his pocket as he turned the corner to text the rest of his friends.

‘you guys can go on without me, i’m gonna stay here with y/n’.

four.

One of your favorite parts about your friendship with Pope were the fun, nostalgic moments. They may have not happened often, but when they did they were always memorable and times that you later wished you could go back and relive.

The pogues were all excited for the annual county fair, but then again who wasn’t? It was one of your favorite events of every summer for as long as you could remember, especially the fair memories with Pope in them. The group decided today would be a day with their significant others, leaving you and Pope as the odd two out, but everyone was planning for you to be paired up for the day anyway.

“How about the ferris wheel now?” Pope proposed.

“Sure, I need a damn break from spinning in the air.” You confessed, referring to the tallest rides of the park you had just been on that could make anyone dizzy just by watching.

As the wheel neared and stopped at its peak height to overlook the fair, you leaned over to take a better look at it all. You chuckled at how tiny everyone else looks from up above, like people from the view of an airplane.

Pope did not feel that same humor, as he let out a yelp and clutched onto the cart for dear life as it tilted and rocked slightly with your movement. “Sit back, Y/n, what the hell?!”

“Relax, we aren’t going anywhere. I’m sure this ride is very sturdy.” You reassured him.

“Says everyone who has died on a carnival ride before they test the limits! It’s like you have a death wish.” He rambled, breathing dramatically heavy before the ferris wheel began to spin again, letting you back down to ground level.

People from behind the counters of the rigged games shouted at you both, trying to grab your attention and take your money. “Oh my God, Pope. Is that not the cutest stuffed elephant you’ve ever seen?” You exclaimed in awe of one of the stuffed animals hanging up.

“Let me try to win it for you.” He suggested, already walking up to the game. Unfortunately it was one of those toss games where he would have to throw a ball to knock over some stacked cups. Unfortunately meaning Pope was on the math team, so it only took him 4 rounds worth.

An outrageous $28 spent later, the man behind the counter was handing you the perfect stuffed elephant. The look in your eyes and smile on your face made it all worth it for Pope, even if he had planned to use that money for something else.

You treated him to a funnel cake in return, the bright and colorful lights illuminating your already jubilant expressions. You sipped the last of your soft drink through the cheap plastic straw, exhaustingly treading out to Pope’s car that you both struggled to find.

You had no problem slouching back in the seat, head thrown back as the warm air blew steadily through the rolled down windows. A lengthy playlist full of your favorites blasted through the stereo, the vibrations of the bass pretty much moving through the entire car. “Now you’re lost, lost in the heat of it all.” You sang, gesturing to Pope to finish the chorus, to which he was more than happy to do so.

“Girl you know you’re lost, lost in the thrill of it all.” For once you weren’t listening to the comments from your friends about you and Pope. But instead following your heart and living in these moments with him, interlocking your fingers together. You didn’t want it to end, but it had to once Pope pulled up to your house and turned the key, cutting the engine and the music.

The crickets could be heard from further away, but it was a comfortable silence. You both looked at each other and smiled tired ones, in no rush to move from your current position. “I love you, Y/n.” Your heart pounded at the words that fell from his lips in a murmur, not sure if you heard correctly.

So you decided to whisper back, even if your mind was playing tricks on you. “I love you, too.” The apparent grin on his face was a dead giveaway to you that it wasn’t in your head. You met him halfway to the center console for the kiss you’d both been longing for, just as fireworks from the fair bursted into the sky. You weren’t sure if you heard them or felt them, but you would’ve put money on both.

Mutual pining; when two people like or love each other but think the other one isn't interested. Who knew how much you’d both been losing while pining for the other. How much lost time you had to make up for. And now that you had found what you’d been searching for, it didn’t matter. The burden of lost time couldn’t even touch the connection that you had found.

a/n: i loved writing this, and i hope you all enjoyed reading it! let me know your thoughts please <3 also the song mentioned towards the end is lost by frank ocean

taglist: @ilovejjmaybank @rosylinn @nxsmss @cameronsrafe @msgorillagripcoochie @bibliophilewednesday @tovvaa @freddymaybank @annab-nana @babeyglo @sunsetholland @moniamaybank @outerbankspreferences @laneybobeczko-g @jjpouggues @j-j-may-bank

pope taglist: @dmonchld

#pope heyward #pope heyward imagine #pope heyward x reader #pope heyward fanfiction #pope heyward obx #pope obx #pope outer banks #outer banks pope #obx pope #jonathan daviss #outer banks #outer banks fanfiction #obx #obx fic

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skullshoal · 2 years

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here is my brutal honesty about being on hrt so far

Its very hard in unexpected ways. I am 25. And like. part of me feels like i really took a blender to my brain. The first several months i was on a roller coaster of emotions. It was kinda scary, i haven’t been a teenager for ummm a long time now! And suddenly i just had mood swings and depression and this feeling of no control again. I had a lot of freak outs and break downs. If i missed a dose it would do it all over again until i took more hormones. Kind of a nightmare! Not to mention the last two years have been the most turbulent of my life in a while since i was a child between buying a car getting a job and moving out all for the first time. I would say After having been on it for 11 months now i AM more stable. Mostly. Hard to say what is the physical hormones and puberty being hard and what is the rest of my life being hard (I told my psychiatrist i was the most anxious i’ve ever been in my life. She said I probably have ptsd and i’m just beginning to process it. Haha. Makes sense but very :(. So like i said I am Just Kinda Going Through It Right Now.)

I DO really like the effects of testosterone...When i’m home. When I’m alone and I don’t have to think about how i’m being perceived. I’ve been fighting with myself for 25 long years trying to find a way to like what i look like despite everything. I was beginning to and for that i feel a sense of loss because taking testosterone has altered how I look. I can’t say if it’s better or worse but it’s different than what i was finally becoming ok with so it feels hard to accept. And also it isn’t exactly aesthetically pleasing. It’s puberty. I have more facial hair but it’s patchy and shitty. I see it and feel bad for not shaving because i feel like i look unkempt and like a teenager. I try not to worry too much about it but if i dwell it sits in me. At the same time i get more and more irritated that no stranger correctly genders me BECAUSE i see the progress. I HAVE facial hair, my voice is deeper and Honestly my face shape has changed slightly. But Because i have boobs it is literally all moot it is so frustrating. I look and sound so different but it still hasn’t changed anything.

Even my voice changing is frustrating. I lost the ability to sing and haven’t regained it yet. Don’t know when I will. I have been trained to do a pleasant voice for customers and its higher pitched slightly so instead of pleasant my voice just cracks and dies.

Anyway. I am not like. idk. I very much have never thought about quitting hrt in this. That’s not what I want. It is just a journey and I am an adult who has already been on many a journey and it is frustrating to just have to start. Over. It feels like 3 steps back even though it is a step forward. I have to relearn how to be an adult in a different body that will only get further and further from what i grew accustomed to. It does feel like i have lost something to some degree even though i have also gained something else. It is so frustrating to have to tell literally every doctor i am transgender like a fucking. dentist? Does a dentist need to know i’m transgender? when they ask me every medicine im taking i tell them whether I want to or not. Some doctor’s ask me weird questions. Some people ask me weird questions. I am something from outside of their society. I am other from the every day. It is alienating. I wonder if I will ever feel at peace with this new me. I will because I must. I did before and I will again. But it feels like I’m cut in half and trapped in two worlds. I’m scared out of my mind about my new job and how I might have to explain myself to someone else. I literally just want to crawl into a cocoon and let myself grow and change until I am ready for other people to see and hear and know me, but instead I have to show the gooey gross transformation to any bozo in the walmart because I need toothpaste and any every freak at my job because I need money.

I don’t feel like a child but i feel like i lost the certainty of being an adult who was well and done with physical growing up. I don’t know what I’ll look like next year, much less in 5. My friends will look mostly the same. I’m rewinding my life. I knew it would be this way, and the reason i was so anxious to start was BECAUSE i didn’t want to postpone puberty 2 any longer but it still. Is hard. It’s different to know something than it is to live it.

#t tag #broken pencil

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shysneeze · 4 years

Text

good enough (draco malfoy x fem!reader)

Good Enough

Draco Malfoy x fem!Slytherin!Reader

*based loosley on the song ‘line without a hook’ by ricky montgomery*

Request: can I ask for Draco x reader where the reader is sassy, but also kind Slytherin (like one of the kind Slytherin)?? And Draco has a huge crush on her? Super fluffy? ~ @lennylangdraws

Warnings: low self-esteem, angst, smidge of house stereotyping, i don’t know the meaning of fluff im so sorry

Authors note: you asked for fluff and I have no excuses for how this turned out except this song has been stuck in my head for weeks now. I hope you like it anyway despite the angst... i tried to make it fluffy make up at the end?

Also, I’m not saying this is a prequel to vulnerable love, but it kinda fits... pretty sure it makes vulnerable love hurt more though.)

Draco wasn’t sure it was possible to want back what he’s never had.

He never knew being stuck in the awkward phase of being an ‘almost couple’ is something he could miss, that he’d ever long to feel the heat that would creep up his cheeks when their eyes met, to feel the nauseating butterflies flap in his stomach when she smiled at him or the jolt of nervous energy that would rip through him whenever their fingers accidentally grazed each other’s under tables or in corridors.

Yet now that those little things are beyond his grasp, he’s desperate for them again, desperate for her. It might be easier to miss her if she were gone, rather than just sitting at the other end of the Slytherin table, or across the room during classes, it would be easier not to see her, the constant reminder of what he’s allowed him self to ruin.

They weren’t supposed to get along, every conflicting personality trait dooming them to a life as enemies. Everyone knows her, the ‘nice’ Slytherin. It’s a title given to her by her classmates, the too-cocky Gryffindors who can’t see past Slytherin’s bad reputation as bullies and snobs, a bad-reputation fuelled by Draco Malfoy himself.

No one could have expected them to end up the way they did, dates in Hogsmeade or hushed conversations by the common room fire in the early hours of the morning and afternoons spent by the lake. No one could have expected them to get along so well.

Draco knows that everyone has expected this though, for them to fall apart before they’ve even had the chance to begin. It’s what they’ve expected of him all along after all, to break her heart.

He’s pretty sure he hasn’t got the right to be looking for her like this, seeking her out desperately to get her back, once again deluded into believing he ever had her in the first place. He’s the one who called it off in a moment of certainty that it was the right thing to do, a selfless act. And so it’s wrong for him to be here right now, back in their secret spot.

She’s exactly where he assumed she would be, curled beneath the tree she was always affectionately calling theirs. His entire body tenses painfully at the sight of her, face hidden in her palms and body shaking, not from the cold, but from the trembling of barely silenced sobs.

He wonders if it’s his racing heart that she can hear that alerts her to his presence and has her looking up from her hands, teary eyes meeting his in surprise. Then, she pulls her brows into a well-justified scowl and a lump forms in Draco’s throat that he can’t seem to swallow.

“What are you doing here?”

An incredibly valid question for which Draco can only provide selfish answers. It seems silly to tell her that he’s hear to win her back, and futile given her growing anger. Yet he won’t be able to live with himself if he doesn’t, miserable without her.

“I miss you.” He gulps honestly. “Truthfully, I’ve been a mess without you.”

“Merlin, Draco.” She gasps out a laugh of disbelief. “Maybe you should have thought of that before you started ignoring me. Frankly, that isn’t really my issue.”

“I know.” He sighs apologetically. “I know, I didn’t mean-“

“Just get it over with, Draco.” She rolls her eyes. “Say your piece and leave me alone.”

He nods, taking hesitant steps forward towards her, the frost coated grass crunching under foot. She avoids his eyes as he takes a seat beside her, staring determinedly at her lap and making a conscious attempt to hide the quickly accumulating tears.

“Aren’t you cold?”

She lets out a loud exasperated sigh and refuses him an answer. He agrees with the sentiment of it, regretted the stupidity of it the minute it left his lips. Still, he leans forward to pull the Slytherin scarf from his neck and twists himself to allow him to wrap it loosely around hers, fussing with it until he’s reassured that she’ll be warmer for it.

“You looked cold.”

“Tis’ the season.” She mumbles sarcastically.

Her sarcasm is another thing he’s missed from her, and it draws a momentary smile to his face. Then, the moment is over, and his eyes have fixed on the tear stains painting her cheeks, proof of his own fatal mistake.

“I’m so sorry, (Y/N).”

She scoffs.

“Two weeks overdue.”

“I know.” He agrees sheepishly. “I know, (Y/N).”

“Then why are you only here now?” She questions. “Why did you do it in the first place? You can’t just act like you have feelings for someone then disappear and ignore them for weeks!”

Her voice wobbles and cracks at the end, much to her own dismay, and each breath she takes is jagged in the way one’s always is when trying to conceal tears. He watches her press the balls of her palm to her eyes in frustration, letting out a small whimper that has every inch of him aching with remorse.

Part of him, a self-preserving part, tells him to lie. It’s a side of himself he’s grown to hate recently, the side that pushed him into this mess in the first place, and so he knows better than to bargain with it again. So, with a deep breath, he chooses to tell the truth, he chooses to be vulnerable.

“I’m not good enough.”

Although exhaled in a whisper the revelation is startlingly loud. Perhaps its due to the serene quiet always felt on crisp cold days like today, where the sun hangs low in the sky and the lake lies unimaginably still, or perhaps it’s the raw honestly in the statement that makes it seem so alarmingly bold.

She blinks at him, lips parting in surprise and brows furrowing in confusion or concern, Draco isn’t sure. He can hear his pulse in his ears, a slight trembling in his hands that he knows has nothing to do with the chilly breeze. He’s done something profound, terrifying even, and opened that vulnerably part of himself to someone, with no control over what happens to it next.

“What?” She manages.

“Everyone knows it, (Y/N).” He explains nervously. “I’m a terrible match for you.”

“Who the hell is everyone” She frowns. “Since when did they matter?”

There is a certain protective edge to her voice that he doesn’t deserve, but it replays itself in his head over and over, clinging to it for hope. It takes him a moment to let it go again, to push it down and answer.

“They’re right.” He sighs. “You’re too good a person for me, I’m too Slytherin.”

The concern instantly leaves her eyes, she sits forward with an urgent look of disbelief and another of her signature scoffs. She’s giving him an inspective look, trying to figure out if he’s serious, or if he’s suddenly picked up a new, strange sense of humour.

“You’re kidding, right?”

He isn’t quite sure what to say and his silence fuels another disbelieving shake of her head.

“I am a Slytherin, Draco.” She exclaims. “No matter what those big-headed Gryffindors are always saying, I was sorted into Slytherin and I’m proud of it- you’re supposed to be proud too, not agreeing with those stupid stereotypes.”

“It’s different.” He exhales in frustration. “I am those stupid stereotypes!”

Draco Malfoy has never been considered modest.

Self-confidence isn’t a trait earned in the Malfoy family clan, but rather inherited between generations, a birth right bestowed upon them the minute they are old enough to understand. It’s a confidence Draco has always been comfortably protected by, unwaveringly sure of his own self-importance gifted to him by his ancestors

Yet something about the infamously kind (Y/N) (Y/L/N) has him constantly falling apart at the seams with the need to be good enough for her. He’s never met anyone like her, no one so capable of making him question the unwarranted self-importance he was raised on as a Malfoy.

Even now, wrapped unceremoniously in his scarf, late falling orange leaves lying in her hair and her cheeks stained with tears, he’s never felt so undeserving of a person in his life. She’s a lady, and he’s just a boy, he’s heartbreakingly inadequate.

“I just want to be someone you can be proud to call yours.”

With his eyes solemnly fixed on his lap, anywhere other than her reaction, he jumps slightly at her cold fingertips on his hand, prying them from the tightly curled fists he has no recollection of clenching and slipping her fingers into his.

“Draco, look at me.” She pleads softly. “Please.”

He does so slowly with her encouraging squeeze of his hand, she’s smiling at him, sympathetic, but unpatronizing.

“I am proud.” She states softly, but confidently. “I don’t want some perfect golden boy, I want you, Draco.”

Three words he never knew he needed from her, ‘I want you’, and they fill a space in his chest that was gaping for reassurance. She’s amazed him again as she always does, she has a talent for making him speechless than no one else has ever mastered.

“You’re so harsh on yourself you haven’t even realised how much you’ve grown, Draco.” She informs. “You’re not the bully you used to be, you’re not the carbon copy of your father anymore, and I’m sorry that no one has allowed you to move on from your past to see your present.”

She smiles sheepishly at his dumfounded expression and gives him the moment he needs to collect his thoughts and process it all. Then, slowly, he’s shaking his head in surprise, letting out a soft sigh.

“You’re too good to me.”

“Don’t make me repeat myself.” She jokes. “I think I straightened that misconception out already.”

“No but- you’re just so…”

The heat burning his cheeks is worse than ever before, he feels almost overwhelmed by it all, her compliments, her smile, that genuine look in her eyes that convinces him she’s unwaveringly sure of every word she’s said.

“Thank you.” He blurts finally. “Especially after I- well I ruined it all.”

“Yeah, I won’t lie, you really fucked up.” She admits. “But you’ve made an honest recovery…”

“Thank you for giving me a second chance.” He exhales gratefully. “You didn’t need to do that.”

“I was going to tell you to piss off after the ‘are you cold’ bit to be honest.” She chuckles. “Stayed because you gave me your scarf- which I’m stealing by the way.”

“Take it.” He urges, a smile finding his lips for what he’s sure is the first time in two weeks, since his misguided decision to end their almost-relationship. “Take whatever you want from me, it’s yours.”

She lets out a shaky breath and gulps. She purposely drops her gaze momentarily to his lips before retuning them to his eyes again, a gesture that has his eyes widening and the tips of his ears turning scarlet. Slipping her fingers from between his, she tentatively cups one of his cheeks, fingertips grazing the red colour blossoming on his pale skin.

“Can I kiss you?”

“I-“ He chokes. “Yes.”

She smiles nervously, reassuring him that he’s not the only one flustered. Then, curling her free hand around the lapel of his jacket, she pulls him closer with eyes shut. Their lips are cold when they meet, and slightly chapped by the cool air, but neither care. Draco places a hand on her waist, pulling her somehow closer as their lips begin to move hesitantly together. She lets out a soft content sigh, sending a breath of warm air into the kiss and causing him to positively melt inside. She’s done it again, completely incapacitated him with such a simple thing as a kiss.

“You’re going to be the death of me.” He exhales.

She lets out a giddy laugh as she pulls back, forehead still pressed to his and eyes still shut.

“There are worst ways to go than my lips.”

He knows, he’s very quickly decided that’s the only way he ever wants to go. She presses her lips to his again for a split second before pulling back completely, he aches for the feeling again, greedy for it now that he’s felt it once.

“Next time, talk to me.” She pleads. “If you ever feel like you’re not good enough, I’ll be there to convince you otherwise, but don’t just disappear.”

“I won’t.” He assures. “I never meant to hurt you.”

“I know that, Draco.” She smiles sadly. “I just want you to know that you can talk to me.”

“I do.”

The hard part, that initial step, is over. He’s leapt into the unknown, flung himself into the terrifying depths of vulnerability, and there is no going back, but he never wants to, he never wants to leave her again.

“Also if I ever hear you speaking shit about our house again I swear to-“

She’s cut off by his lips once again on hers, startled only for a minute before she’s grinning, grateful to see his confidence returning. She can feel his own grin on her lips and the vibrations of a light laugh before he’s pulling back again.

“Consider me warned.”

“Good.” She exhales. “Or I’ll be confiscating your tie next.”

(Authors note: its not my favourite but if i rewrote it one my time i was flinging my laptop out my window... its not particularly proofread.)

#draco malfoy x reader #draco malfoy imagine #draco x reader #draco malfoy fan fic #draco imagine #draco malfoy angst

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