the-lampman - Tumblr blog

the-lampman · 14 days

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Please don’t encourage my bad habits. I have enough mugs, I don’t need more. And whatever you do, do NOT tell me it’s okay I buy another Lego set, no matter how pretty it is, I have enough.

Saw the cutest little jean jacket while shopping with mom, but unfortunately, it wasn't my size.

Is this what heartbreak feels like?

#I’ve also got like…#seven coca cola glasses #wait no make that eight #forgot the christmas one

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the-lampman · 14 days

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And people will be like “Don’t you have enough mugs already Lampman?”

And I’m like “No!” Angry face emoji

Look

(the lighting is weird, I know, I literally took this picture in the middle of the night)

I’ve got my Caltex mug (for chocolate milk), my Zelda mug (for water and tea), my Death Note mug (for flowers), my other Zelda mug (for water and tea), my pride mug (which I got yesterday so I haven’t used it yet, but I’ll probably use it for water and tea), and my third Zelda mug (which is actually a birthday gift for my littlest brother since he wanted one; I took it out if the box to clean it so he could use it straight away).

That’s nowhere near enough mugs. I could really use a mug for water and tea.

Saw the cutest little jean jacket while shopping with mom, but unfortunately, it wasn't my size.

Is this what heartbreak feels like?

#now I’m kinda thirsty for some water #or maybe some tea

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the-lampman · 14 days

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I know your pain. Just yesterday I was doing some after work shopping, and I found theses super cute mugs and I wanted to buy all of them.

But.

The text. It’s all about how awesome coffee is.

I don’t like coffee.

I could cry

Look at them!! And there were matching trays and everything too

Saw the cutest little jean jacket while shopping with mom, but unfortunately, it wasn't my size.

Is this what heartbreak feels like?

#don’t get me started on kitchen appliances #I have to shield my eyes every time I walk past the home electronics department #so many cool things I want that I don’t have the space for

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the-lampman · 28 days

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If you’ve not already, then please don’t forget to vote!

Minor update and poll

(important part is bolded)

I'm working hard on the liveblog and I'm starting to get really close to actually being done! Now, it'll still be a little while before I'm ready to update... mainly because I work not just this weekend, but I also somehow got closing shifts Tuesday through Thursday, AND I work on Friday as well. For those of you who don't know, first of May is a huge holiday here in Sweden, so the store's gonna be jam-packed with people. So, yeah... that's gonna be fun.

But let's talk about something that's actually fun. I heard that The Owl House pilot got leaked! And I wanna watch it of course, but I was thinking: should I liveblog it? For those of you that have seen it, is it womething that would be worth for me to go over? I'm thinking it could be a fun, light-hearted end to the series.

For me personally, I first got into reading liveblogs through STeven Universe liveblogs, and most of those watch the pilot episode at some point, so that's why I kinda wanna do this one.

I also do beleive the Amphibia pilot got leaked as well? If that's the case, then I might wanna watch that as well once I get around to Amphibia, though I'd have to do so at a point whn there'd be no spoilers... bah, those are questions for Future Lampman to deal with. We've got our ways to go before we get there.

In the meantime... it's been a while since I've gotten to say my catchphrase, so here we go: Until next time, take care of the planet Earth and remember that anything can happen in space!

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the-lampman · 1 month

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Ah, sorry, but it looks like I’m gonna have to send you to…

youtube

The Roof

You guys really liked my last poll so

#I swear this shit was funny back in the day #tag yourself I’m Joel #hi I just want to point out that is not okay to be on The Roof #Youtube

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the-lampman · 2 months

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Seeing one of my posts is like getting struck by lightning; the chances are low, but never zero.

And yes, I do love taking little bits of unexplored lore within a show and just going wild with it. In fact... you know what Rainbow, just because it's you, I'll give you a look at another one of these I wrote. See if you can figure out any of the references!

x

The following is an excerpt from the adventure archeologist and self-described ”bad girl historian” Flora D’splora’s book Hidden History volume II: The Things You Don’t Want to Know About Your Past, the considerably less successful follow-up to her previous book, Hidden History: The Things the Emperor Did Not Want You to Know. In the first book, chapter five was dedicated to the resurrection the basilisks, whereas in the second book, chapter five details their extinction

Even though the second book wasn’t received as well as the first (ironically, actual historians much preferred the second volume to the first) it is worth reading at least once. If nothing else, it serves as an poignant and important reminder that evil is not something that comes just from outside, but from inside as well.

”After removing the last boulder blocking the tunnel I found it lead into a large chamber, wherein a whole den of adult basilisks could have comfortably fit. The first thing that struck me was how this had once been a stunning room. The chamber was almost perfectly circular with smooth walls. It had clearly been dug out and polished by skilled masons.

The domed ceiling was decorated with glowing crystals that formed some of the most prominent constellations in the night sky, as well as providing illumination for the chamber.

The walls were decorated with murals depicting the mythos of the basilisks, or at least what I assume to be their mythos. All murals had been vandalized to such an extent as to make them more or less incomprehensible. The writing that accompanied them had been completely destroyed with only a few scant symbols surviving the hunters’ wrath. It is likely that the mythos, culture, and knowledge of the ancient basilisks is forever lost to us.

The hunters that visited this chamber left only one clue, the name of what they believed to be an evil god or goddess the basilisks worshipped. They dared not to write its name, but spelled it out phonetically in their text. Its name was Azala.

The second thing I noticed as I entered the chamber was the skeletal remains of a once beautiful beast lying at the center of the room. It was still coiled up, almost as if it was guarding something. I remember laying my eyes on the skeleton and realizing just how big it must have been while alive. I had seen bones and skulls of full-grown basilisks before, but this was the first articulated specimen I had seen.

I recall thinking how unfortunate it was that I would never be able to see one of these magnificent monsters alive and in their full physical prime. Never in my wildest dreams did I think I’d ever get this wish fulfilled, yet here I am, so many years older and so many years wiser. Fate, it would seem, has a sense of humor.

I was itching to examine the body, but something else drew my immediate attention. A text on the wall right next to the entrance, written in what I believe to be the blood of the slain basilisk shortly after the battle that brought the beast down. I have translated the text to modern tongue and here is what it said:

To this cave we followed the monster and here we put an end to it. The Isles are a little safer now. We forced the monster here and we heard it roar in stolen tongue for its evil god a z a l a

’As the magic fills the air, let every witch beware! Feel my claw and feel my bite! Let all witches fear the basilisks’ might!’

We fought it and we fought it long and hard. Twice ten times into each wound did we plunge our swords and daggers and spears and claws and fangs. The monster fell and we cut off its head. We watched it through the sunset and until the sun rose. And we left it here.

We were the hunters that slew the monster and ended a great evil

Hunter Roko of the Common Witch tribe, who saw the monster coming and gave us warning. He gave his life in the battle. He will always be remembered as the Slayer of the Basilisk.

Hunter Lord Wicktor of the noble Argon family.

Hunter Selleri of the Monkey Tail tribe.

Huntress Rose with eyes of silver, of the Wolf Fang tribe.

Huntress Weissnow from the Island of the Eternal Winter. Her eye was wounded in the battle.

Huntress Bella of the Cat Fang tribe.

Huntress Sunrise Dragon the Younger of the Dragon Warrior clan. She lost an arm in the battle.

Hunter Knight Jean of the Common Witch tribe.

Huntress Norathor of the Common Witch tribe. She gave her life in the battle.

Huntress Pyrrha the Champion, of the Common Witch tribe. She gave her life in the battle.

Hunter Lieren of the Three Eye tribe.

Huntress Jaspis from the Queendom of the Heavenly Crystal.

Hunter Auscar of the Common Witch tribe.

Hunter Bergman of the Mountain People.

Huntress Lynn of the Bird’s Talon clan, defender of the Blue Forest.”

The following text is an excerpt from an old bestiary written around 700 years ago, though the text is believed to have originated as far back as 800-850 years ago. The tome was discovered inside of a buried temple on the steep slopes of The Knee by famous adventure archeologist N’Diana Stones. N’Diana Stones was also responsible for the first translation, however, this version is a re-translation done by Lilith Clawthorne for the sake of modern, non-scholar readers. This version of the text was copied from Boiling Isles History volume V: Extinct and Endangered Demon Tribes (second edition, available in the Boiling Isles History boxset sold at the Bonesborough Supernatural History Museum).

”Its touch is death, its gaze is death, its breath is death. The mere sight of its true visage may kill a witch.

This is known about the Basilisk.

The Basilisk is the most hideously vile monstrosity that haunts the Isles. The Basilisk, like the Vampire, hunts a witch. But unlike the Vampire, it feeds not on her blood and soul, but upon her trust, her good nature, and her magic.

The Basilisk consumes not the flesh of its prey, a witch, but the dust of the land and it gnaws on tree roots. It does not breathe. Its heart beats strong but slow. Pierce it with steel not blessed, nor cursed. Its arm and tail feel no pain.

This is known about the Basilisk: that we ought to live in fear of it.”

#good luck #gonna go to bed now #zzzz mimimi

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the-lampman · 3 months

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”När mina långkalsonger har så många hål brukar jag slänga dom.”

-min mamma om Dotters byxor

#melodifestivalen #melodifestivalen 2024 #melfest

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the-lampman · 3 months

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Annika Wickihalder? Mer som Annika Wicki-pedia! HA HA HA!

#melodifestivalen #melodifestivalen 2024 #mello #mello 2024

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the-lampman · 3 months

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“She’s unforgettable.” Till skillnad från den här låten.

#melodifestivalen #melodifestivalen 2024 #mello #mello 2024

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the-lampman · 3 months

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Nu gick Danny upp på scen och han ser också ut som en dammråtta!

Dotter ser ut som en ovanligt sexig dammråtta

#melodifestivalen #melodifestivalen 2024

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the-lampman · 3 months

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Dotter ser ut som en ovanligt sexig dammråtta

#melodifestivalen #melodifestivalen 2024

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the-lampman · 4 months

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Thank you! I think it’s a combination of textbook wording and personal anecdote to give that sense of summarizing something I read in a book.

(I say as I quickly hide the books I got on my last interdimensional adventure)

oh god what now

#haha yeah sill alive #I keep on keeping on #i’ve been doing gre-#I’ve been doing goo-#I’ve been doing okay #big things are coming though!#i’ve started watching and dreaming

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the-lampman · 4 months

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@rainbowangel110

His name is Gninttisravk, one of the last survivors of an artificial demon tribe created during the Aloksdnurg Dynasty ca. 600 years ago. Their original purpose was for use in prisons for punishment of lesser crimes such as petty theft, selling spirits without proper license, littering, and manslaughter. After King Rotker was deposed and eaten, the prison demons were repurposed for work in schools.

(Source: Boiling Isles History volume IV: The Rise and Fall of Kingdoms, second edition that I got as part of a box set from the Bonesborough Supernatural History Museum)

oh god what now

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the-lampman · 7 months

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Så, öh…

Jag tycker om att baka. Jag skulle aldrig beskriva mig som jättebra på det, men jag är helt okej. För några år sen bakade jag nästan aldrig, men nu gör jag det varje vecka. Och den chockerande hemligheten till att bli bättre på att baka är enkel, men ganska tråkig; baka mer.

Jag skulle rekommendera att (om du inte redan har en) att du skaffar en bakbok. Om du tycker om kladdkaka kan jag rekommendera Kladdkaka Deluxe av Frida Skattberg. Det var faktiskt den boken som fick mig intresserad i att baka. Som du kan se ovan har jag flera av hennes böcker. Camila Hamids böcker är också fantastiska.

Personligen så tycker jag bättre om att ha mitt recept i en fysisk bok som jag kan lägga på köksbänken än att ha det på telefonen eller liknande. Men du kanske är built different. En digital köksvåg är också fantastisks bra, så mycket lättar att få rätt mängd smör.

Annars är det bara at börja baka och prova sig fram. Jag måste ha bakat över hundra kladdkakor de senaste tre åren eller så, men det är aldrig garanterat att dom blir perfekta. Jag är inte heller särskilt bra på att dekorera eller få mina bakverk att se fina ut, men så länge de smakar gott bryr jag mig inte så mycket.

När det gäller kladdkakor har jag några tips som kan hjälpa om dom inte blir kladdiga nog. För det första så ska man aldrig blanda kladdkakesmet med elvisp. En visp blandar in en massa luftbubblor. Använd en trägaffel eller liknande, och försök att inte blanda för mycket. För att hjälpa med det, sikta mjölet och kakaon genom en sil eller en mjölsikt. När du ställer in kakan i ugnen, sätt timern på fem minuter mindre än vad receptet säger. Kolla till kakan när klockan ringer. Kolla med en provsticka och skaka lite på kakan för att avgöra om den är tillräckligt gräddad eller om den behöver några minuter till. Tänk också på att kakan fortsätter att gräddas en stund efter att du tar ut den ur ugnen.

Och vad du än gör, gör inte vad min lillasyster gjorde den där gången när hon skulle baka kladdkaka. Hon smälte smöret in en gryta och blandade i dom andra ingredienserna… utan att ta av grytan från värmen. Det blev kladdkaka med bitar av kokt ägg i. Blä.

Åh, och ett till tips: om receptet säger att du ska koka kolan tills den når 117-120°C så betyder det att du måste koka kolan tills den når 117-120°C. Annars blir det så här:

I feel like every time I mention I wish I was better at baking, I meet people who tell me ”oh but I just use a boxed cake mix and make a cake from that!”

And like… that’s not a thing in Sweden. It’s not that we don’t have boxed cake mixes you can buy in stores, we do, but when it comes to baking, you are expected to do everything from SCRATCH. Buy all the right ingredients, do all that correctly. It’s seen as kind of lazy to use a cake mix. Also cake mixes does not taste as good. The cake tastes better if you’ve baked it all by yourself.

I only know how to make swedish chocolate balls, make gingerbread cause it’s obligatory and sometimes make a mudcake if I have a recipe or someone guiding me to make it well. And even then, my mudcake often becomes too hard and not as ”muddy” as it should be.

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the-lampman · 8 months

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Yes, those are indeed moose antlers. It kinda makes sense, since moose are “‘round these parts) considered the King of the Forest.

Here’s a similar example I stumbled over in one of my books on folklore:

That is a “Skogsfru” (lit. “Forest lady” or “Lady of the Forest”). They’re kind of Mother Nature figures, being the living embodiments and rulers of deep dark forests. Like a lot of mystical creatures, she’s harmless so long as you treat her with respect and good manners. A small sacrifice before a hunting trip may give you good luck. But beware; many men have fallen in love with her and never made it out of the forest. If you believe you have encountered a lady if the forest, try to get a look at her back. For while she may look like a beautiful woman from the front, her back will be a hollow tree trunk covered in moss

I suppose this is as good a time as any to give a brief little status update.

I’ve been making fast progress through For the Future, I’m roughly at the 30min mark. I think I might start publishing this Saturday and do maybe half the episode, though I haven’t decided just yet.

In the meantime, here’s a poster that kinda reminds me of Philip:

I got it from a swedish kid’s magazine called KP years ago, put it in a drawer and forgot about it until I found it a few weeks ago. It’s drawn by Henrik Jonsson and that is apparently supposed to be Mother Nature. I’m not sure the kid who requested a poster of Mother Nature had that in mind, but hey, I think it’s a pretty sick poster. I created that spooky green lighting while playing around with a flashlight and a cylinder of slime.

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the-lampman · 1 year

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Okay I have a question, have you ever used/seen one of these before?

Please also say where your from in the tags (and maybe rb so I can increase the data, no pressure though)

#I’m from sweden #yes I own one #how else are you supposed to slice cheese?#with a knife?

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the-lampman · 1 year

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It's the weirdest thing, I didn't even get a notification when you answered this ask. I really hope that whatever's going on, it can be fixed quickly

Hey, uh... weird thing happened. It looks like most or all of your comments on my liveblog posts have been deleted or hidden? I don't know why, I didn't do anything. I haven't checked every post, but it seems like it's just your replies specifically. Your likes also don't show up anymore, it's... bizarre.

Wait- everything?!

Okay I'll have to check that, because last night I was on Tumblr, and my comments weren't showing up, not was the confirmation that I commented was showing up.

I wasn't able to find a way to solve it immediately (had to go somewhere that night)

Now that it's confirmed that my comments aren't showing up (or my likes, which is really weird) I'll ask the staff for help.

#seriously #i went to answer some comments #and they were all gone!#i thought i had gone mad #but no #it seems like it's just tumblr that's gone mad #hellsite

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