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#im just curious about the experience of having one
weirdw00d · 2 days
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hey i was curious what your experience has been on planes at you current size? im flying soon for the first time in a while and ive gained quite a bit since the last time i flew. im around 300 pounds so im nervous about the seats
It's definitely a tight squeeze! And I've always had to ask for seatbelt extenders on most airlines EXCEPT when I fly to Mexico on Viva Aerobus lmao shout out to them. But I always ask the flight attendant right as I'm walking in if I can get a seatbelt extender and they're usually right up front anyway. And if you can choose your seat, I would recommend sitting in an aisle row so you can lift the arm up and hang off the side there so you don't feel as obtrusive into your neighbors space. Just be careful and squish in when the drinks and snacks come around. Also if you can, I really recommend flying southwest! I don't fly with them often cuz they don't fly out of O'Hare, but they have an amazing "customer of size" policy where I believe you can get a ticket for a second seat reimbursed if you feel like you need one. I've never done that before so you'll have to look into it but lots of my fat friends swear by that airline! And as always, most people are uncomfortable on flights and try not to get too into your head about taking up space. It's the airlines fault for not accommodating even a straight-size persons need for space and fat people deserve to fly too. I hope this helps, and happy travels!
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orchidyoonkook · 1 year
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never asked this here before, but why not try, y’know?
Would anyone beta the yoongi fic my brain spat out last night? I’ve never had a beta before and I figure this might be a good experimentor fic to use as it wasn’t even conceived before 11pm last night.
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scolopendrisims · 3 months
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Should I join the Catholic Church near my house for fun? I mean it
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found out my gf and i both had to play it in school, but she played a computer version while my school did a table top rpg version, so now i'm genuinely dying to know how many people got forced to play this game as part of our education and what version it was!!
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sharkneto · 2 months
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How is Migrations rated that highly on Goodreads. Absolutely insufferable book, glad to be done with it.
#maybe its got good emotions going on idk#I couldn't get over how fucking bad the science in it was#wish the main character had been a real scientist instead of whatever the fuck franny had going on - which was /a lot/#less franny's emotionally disturbed problems more actual apocalypse of All The Animals Are Dying would have gone a long long way#man the longer i sit here thinking about it the madder i get#i would beg the author to have talked to actual animal and environmental scientists before she wrote whatever that was#''i random woman who longs for the sea is the only person who wants to follow these terns - some of the last birds on earth - on their--''#''--full migration and i have to beg to do it (but for my own personal selfish reasons and not actually for science or conservation)''#/in what fucking world/#one of the ''conservationists'' in the book actually said ''we cant just follow a bird's full migration'' SINCE WHEN#and they forced some fish-eating birds to eat seeds so theyd ''adapt'' and have a better chance to survive#and and mc's husband - a man with a phd in ornithology was like ''oh dont touch that bird egg or the bird will smell it and reject it!''#/it was a crow. it was an ///egg/// on the ground. it would have been /fine//#///he was a professor of ornithology and the author had him say that bullshit///#god im so curious if my twin will like this book or not#shes the one who was originally curious about it and i just happened to pick it up first#i am curious the reading experience if you are not someone who works directly with actual ornithologists#book club
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ms-all-sunday · 3 months
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>be me, neurodivergent teen a couple years ago
>you find a game you really like from an ad you saw online and spend time and money on it despite never falling for gacha before you develop a gambling addiction
>your favourite character ends up being a robot was abandoned by his creator in the lore who despite being a clone of a girl is a boy. you think this is transgender behaviour and it is
>stop playing the game two years ago because of the gambling addiction. have to give up your transgender ass anime boybot
>later you get into one piece and it becomes your special interest
>water 7
>another transgender manbot? he speedruns becoming one of your favourite characters ever and within the month you will talk about him to anybody who will listen
>eventually you start a blog talking about your special interest
>noticing some similarities between manbot and boybot. eh whatever its nothing right
>"yeah franky one piece is a frankenstein thing weird you didnt know that"
>turns out you never loved any transgender anime boybot, you loved Mary Shelley's Frankenstein (1818)
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heaven-dope · 4 months
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kind of a big fan of how unintentionally opposite soleil is to lili
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seilon · 6 months
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I should learn tagalog just to really completely confuse white people about my race
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craycraybluejay · 7 months
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I love reading trip reports/listening to them like podcasts. They make me focus and think and wonder but I already do that. But they like. Focus my wonder on the endlessly fascinating subject of altered mental states and even the state of the universe itself
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prommytheus · 1 year
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okay ive come to notice something weird in my life. has anyone else experienced resistance or rejection specifically against being binary transgender, but support for being non-binary?
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femme-malewife · 1 year
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Seeing something you really don’t want to remember and just going:
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songswelive · 26 days
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.
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tiredlinguist · 10 months
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ough
#what is it with me and going down rabbitholes of ‘trans is a social contagion’ content#is it a social contagion? have kids in liberal areas of the country been convinced that being trans is a cool club they can join?#all the posts and videos about coming out choosing a name changing pronouns going on hormones getting surgery is it functioning to#over-glorify transition and frame it as this exciting cool fun hashtag epic little adventure with few downsides??? is that what’s happening?#i don’t know. and im tired.#i think there’s probably some truth to it i guess. i imagine there are some young impressionable people who are met with all of this Content#and over time they go ‘huh yeah i guess that seems fun’#but like. i know a lot of cis/cis-adjacent people who have watched me rave about all my little transsexual happy moments#like binding and getting on hormones#and they’ve just celebrated me. for years. with no inclination to start actually enacting changes on their own bodies or presentation#then again that’s just anecdotal#ive always found myself taking offense to the nontransitioning nbs of the world. a lot of the ones that i know will talk to me like we’re#the same#and it’s like babes im sorry but we’re not the same you make quirky jokes about being None Gender and i cry because my voice isn’t lower#i just feel like a lot of younger trans kids’ ‘trans experience’ begins and ends with a change of name and pronouns and maybe wardrobe#and that’s fine!!! i don’t give a flying fuck! do whatever you want forever! i will always call you whatever you wanna be called! always!!!!#but. a part of me is curious as to like. how many of those kids were just attracted to this because it looked cool or fun or novel#there’s this thing i saw somewhere about how a lot of young white men are radicalized because they’re kind of desperate for a struggle#or a passion of some sort#and i wonder sometimes if something similar is happening here#because the vast VAST majority of ‘tenderqueers’ (term makes me ick but it gets the point across) from what ive seen come from#very privileged backgrounds. almost always rich or at least financially well off and white#i know that im probably activating every alarm by going ‘hmmm non-binary is like neonazi’ but that’s not what i mean i prommy#just like at its core perhaps there’s this inherent need in adolescents to have something to fight for#something that can make their lives feel like a journey they wanna take so they can feel in control#im spouting pure fucking nonsense. look it’s 4am and im feeling contemplative. about this dumb shit.#i need to fix my sleep schedule so bad i feel so shitty recently#and it’s definitely at least in part due to how late im staying up.#whatever.
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agirlwithglam · 1 month
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conversation tips + how to be funny
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talk about the other person. i know, this is said basically everywhere so im not gonna go too deep into it. everybody likes talking about themselves, where they've been, experiences they've had, etc. so just keep asking questions about themselves!
another thing id like to mention is don't just let them talk the whole time, thats not how a conversation works. instead add in your own opinions, and experiences! make them laugh!
literally just find out things about the other person- linking back to the first point- be genuinely curious about the other person. be curious about them! how they think, how they are, find out stuff about them that you can use later- ex: if they mention they like star neckless, maybe one day you can buy a star neckless for them to show that you care!
absurd analogies.
share funny & embarrassing stories from your past! this makes you look more confident and people feel more comfortable around you bc you're able to laugh about a cringe moment in your past. but its best to do this when the laugh is at your expense, and not at others.
make people feel good about themselves. make them feel special.
watch how other people do it. take inspo from others! you can even look at celebrities interviews and see how they've made people laugh and have an interesting conversation. some rly good interviews that i'd recommend are: ryan gosling / the tv show percy jackson / Zendaya & Tom Holland /
finish other people's sentences with something funny and ridiculous. when someone's trying to remember what they were about to say, you can fill in with a ridiculously funny idea to end their sentence! dont overuse this tho, otherwise it can get pretty annoying.
EXPRESSIONNNN!!!! laugh at their jokes, nod along, be sympathetic. just express and overreact in a way that makes them feel heard and special!!
playful teasing.
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hisui-dreamer · 1 year
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he lives in you
Characters: Leona, Floyd, Jamil, Lilia
Synopsis: You shared a night of passion with your lover before you left for the other side of the mirror, but fate's cruel hands strike once again as you realise you have to raise his child alone in your original world. Thankfully, your child is incredibly drawn to magic, and they opened a portal...?
Tags: slight angst, fluffy end because im a sap, fem reader, reader gives birth to a child, reunions, bot proofread
Word count: 2.4k+
Notes: uh i was practicing Japanese and researching Japanese names before writing this, so all my name ideas ended up in japanese? if it makes you uncomfortable, you can imagine that reader is japanese hehe
right in time for mother's day, so here's to a celebration of the motherly figures in our lives, blood related or not, for being there for us<3
Part 2✧Part 3✧Part 4✧Masterlist
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A few months passed as you settled back into your routine at home. Eventually, with the noticeable changes in your body, it dawned on you that you were with child—his child, your lover from the other side of the mirror whom you could no longer reach.
Days turned into weeks, and weeks turn into months. You had adapted to the trials and tribulations of parenthood. Juggling the responsibilities of work, childcare, and household chores was no easy feat, but you found solace in the small moments of your child's growth and development.
Your child was a true joy to behold, a mirror image of their father in many ways, and you often see the ghost of your past lover in them. Having inherited his magic, your child experimented with their powers, leaving you to support them with what limited knowledge of magic that remained from your NRC days.
On one such experiment, your environment started to shift as a wave of magical energy engulfed you. When you opened your eyes again, he was there, right in front of you—
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Hina (日来) with 日 meaning "sun, day" and 来 meaning "coming, future"
Leona reminded you of a shining sun that radiated warmth and light in your life, of how the it would surely shine again no matter how dark the night seemed, and so you named your daughter after that image
your daughter has the clearest emerald eyes and flowing dark brown locks that you often braided in a similar style to her father's
she's very energetic, always curious and asking questions, eager to learn more about the world around her
she's an obedient child, although she's eager to seek your affection and may whine a bit when things don't go her way
if there was one thing that was similar to the Leona you knew, it's that she's extremely clingy and constantly seeks physical affection, hugging your legs and asking for you to carry them any chance she has
and also the fact that she enjoyed her naps a bit too much
her lion ears are a bit of an issue in our world, but you often hide them with hoods, clever hair styling, or simply saying it's a costume
when you told her about the brilliant man her father is, she grew really excited about the possibility of meeting him, and started playing around with magic more to be like the intelligent mage he is
and then it happened, just an ordinary afternoon practicing magic had the two of you transported back to twisted wonderland, face to face to Leona
somehow, he had grown even more handsome in the years you hadn't seen him, but instead of his lazy smile, he looked confident and powerful, like the leader he was always meant to be
A sudden gust of magic swept through the air behind him as he raised his staff in response, only to immediately drop it in shock as your figure came into sight, and beside you, a small child that he had never seen before.
"Herbivore..." he whispered.
Without a second thought, Leona rushed towards you, his heart beating wildly in his chest. He felt a lump forming in his throat as he reached out to embrace you tightly.
"This better not be a dream," he murmured into the crook of your neck as he inhaled your scent. "It's really you."
after a tearful reunion and introduction, Leona quickly excuses himself from his duties with a quick meeting with Falena, and helps you and Hina settle into the palace
since you left, Leona's been working hard to do what he can do as per your promise with him
he's now in charge of foreign affairs and on better terms with his brother after much needed communication
he showers you in affection, he's even clingier than before that it almost starts a rivalry with your daughter
he puts in a lot of effort to spend time with Hina, learning her likes and dislikes and bonding over magic
uncle jack and ruggie are always fun to be around and play with her
though it wasn't his fault, leona feels guilty you had to bare the responsibility on your own for so long, and he puts in a lot of effort to make amends for any mistakes work to build a strong relationship with you two
he has a family now, and you're damn sure he'll protect it with his life
Leona looked down at Hina, feeling a sense of pride and wonder at the little girl standing before him. "Hey there," he said, his voice gentle. "Nice to meet ya, kiddo."
Hina stared at him, her eyes searching his face. "Are you my dad?" she asked, her voice small and uncertain.
Leona's heart ached at the question, knowing that he had missed so much of her life. "Yeah, I'm your dad," he said, reaching out to take her hand.
Hina looked at him for a moment before a smile spread across her face. "Can you show me magic?" she asked, her eyes lighting up with excitement.
Leona felt a sense of joy at her words, feeling a connection with her that he had never felt before. "Of course I can," he said, standing up and taking her hand. "What do you wanna see?"
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Sakura (桜) meaning "cherry blossoms"
your daughter has sleek teal hair that reminds you of the sea, a single strand of dark hair, and mismatched eyes in the same manner as Floyd
Floyd had lovingly given you the nickname "Shrimpy", and it only felt right for your daughter to be named Sakura, after the tiny sakura-shrimp
she's incredibly mischievous and there's not a moment of silence with her, she's spontaneous and playful and you've got your hands full
though she is very considerate of you and will listen to your words, she's uncontrollable when she's bored and in need of a spark of interest
she's also a squeezer, much like her father, and hugs you every time she sees you or anyone she likes, and you're thankful her strength hasn't developed too much yet
she enjoys biting you, albeit gently, and you find your arms littered with bite marks, but it's her unique way of showing affection
her eel form won't show unless she's been in the water for too long (thankfully), and she enjoys squeezing you in her eel form even more
ever so curious, she's asked about her father many times, and you've told her how carefree and easygoing her father is, and that he'd love her the moment she saw her
which leads you to her magic actually teleporting you to him, her spontaneous idea having manifested itself, and you found in a dimly lit room similar to the Mostro Lounge
Floyd looked matured, his hair sleeked back and his features sharpened, though his wry smile that you loved had stayed the same
Floyd's eyes widened with shock and disbelief, and his steps quickened as he rushes towards you, his long arms outstretched in a gesture of longing. As he got closer, he noticed the beautiful and curious-looking child standing close to you.
"Shrimpy?" he said, his voice barely above a whisper. "No way... It's really you!"
Floyd pulled you close, holding you tightly as if he never wanted to let go. "I missed ya so much, I wish I hadn't let ya go," he said, his voice choked with emotion as tears threatened to spill. "You're not allowed to leave again, okay?"
Floyd is so ecstatic he can't stand still, once he's calmed down a bit, be immediately carries Sakura and drags you to Jade and Azul
Azul and Jade are pleasantly surprised at your return, and it's a warm welcome back
the two of them are glad Floyd won't be moping any time soon
the trio have now expanded into a franchise and divulged into many businesses, though Floyd largely acts as Azul's right-hand man
Now that you're back, he refuses to be apart from you, always holding onto you tightly and afraid you might disappear just like how suddenly you appeared
he does get mood swings where he's upset or angry, not at you though, just at how unfair things were and how he couldn't be there for you
he's a good eel who does everything to make sure you and Sakura are happy and comfortable, often cooking meals for you two
he's so curious about Sakura and enjoys playing with her and lifting her high up in the air
don't worry, he's extremely careful, this precious gem is why you got back to him!
Jade is the best uncle and Sakura wants to marry him??? (honestly same)
poor Azul is getting pranked by the daughter- father duo, though Sakura does comfort him afterwards with squeezes and kissss
Floyd looked down at Sakura, and he saw her staring back at him with wide, curious eyes in the opposite colours of his eyes. Though she resembled him physically, there was an air about her that was so distinctly his Shrimpy.
"Heya," Floyd said, trying to sound friendly. "I'm your dad."
Sakura giggled and reached out to him, her tiny hands grasping at his hands. Floyd froze, not sure what to do, letting her yand his hand forward. But then, she opened her mouth and bit down on finger.
"Hey!" Floyd cried, pulling back in surprise.
Sakura just laughed, her eyes sparkling with mischief. Floyd couldn't help but laugh too, despite the pain in his finger.
"Yer a feisty one, aren't ya, Sakura-shrimpy?" he teased, grinning down at her as he ruffled her hair. "You know," he whispered, "you can't just go around biting people like that. But I like your style."
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Isami (功己) 功 meaning "achievement, credit, honour, merits" and 己 meaning "self, serpent, snake."
your son has smooth ebony locks and sharp grey eyes that make him look slightly intimidating
Jamil had shown you how much he valued his achievements over his social status, so you chose a name the could embody him
he's a quiet child who's always attentive and careful
he's rather shy in front of other people, but when it's you he'll soak up all of your affection and stare at you with longing eyes seeking praise
he's a cute helper at home too! he always volunteers to help you with chores and cook in the kitchen, though you're careful he's not close to anything sharp or dangerous
he does have an inherent fear of bugs, something he's inherited from Jamil, but thankfully you've taught him to be less destructive than his father
do expect screams and for him to be crying as a little fly chases him around though
he's incredibly smart and talented at magic, easily grasping the concepts of magic you can only teach him theoretically
when you told him about his father, you've told him about the diligent man that his father is, and how would let his guard down around those he treasured
he had listened quietly without much of a change in his expression, but you could tell there was a bubbling excitement building up in his eyes
and no long after that, he managed to teleport the two of you to a warm, airy room of marble walls
Jamil's features had sharpened, he seemed more openly confident and comfortable with himself
Jamil's heart skipped a beat as he saw you. It had been five years since he bid your farewell at the mirror chamber and lost you forever. And yet here you were standing here in front of him with a child in tow, a child who resembled him so much.
"It can't be..." he murmurs.
Without hesitation, Jamil dropped all the papers and rushed towards you, his heart pounding furiously. His eyes locked with yours, and in that moment, time seemed to stand still. He could see the love and longing still shining in your eyes, and he knew deep down that he had never stopped loving you.
Jamil couldn't stop the tears that began streaming down his face. "I've missed you so much," he said, his voice raspy. "Letting you go is the worst decision I've ever made." He reached out and pulling you into a tight embrace, his arms shaking with emotions.
he's a bit overwhelmed but still so thankful you're back in his life
Kalim barges in at this time and exclaims in surprise at your return and ??? OMG JAMIL YOU HAVE A SON?!!
Jamil has half a mind to dissuade him from holding a banquet immediately to welcome you back, and instead take things slow to not overwhelm you or Isami
asks Kalim for some privacy and the second he's away, he melts into your embrace
he hasn't felt so at ease in so long
if he wakes up in the morning and you're not right there beside him, he's panicking and searching all over the place for some confirmation you're still here
he's very curious about Isami and asks him all sorts of questions to piece together his development and personality
they definitely have a rivalry over who's braver over bugs but it just ends up with the two hugging you for safety
he's a bit awkward with how careful he is with his emotions, so it takes Isami some time to fully trust him
but trust me, Jamil will go above and beyond for his family and there's no way Isami will have to endure what Jamil did in his childhood
Jamil's eyes widened in surprise and wonder. He couldn't believe that they had created a life together. He knelt down to the Isami' eye level and looked into his eyes. "Hello there," he said, his voice gentle and warm. "What's your name?"
Isami starred back at him, his eyes wide with distrust and caution before he buried his face in your legs. Jamil chuckled softly. "It's okay," he comforted. "You don't have to be shy around me. I'm your dad."
Isami looked up at him again, this time with a mix of curiosity and wonder. "Daddy?" they said, testing the word out.
Jamil smiled warmly as nodded, his heart swelling with love and joy. "Yes, daddy," he parroted. "And I promise I'm never going to leave you or your mommy again."
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Yuri (百合) meaning "lily"
Lilia's name always reminded you for lily flowers, and what better name for your daughter to embody him?
your daughter has straight raven hair with some of the hair flipping upwards resembling two horns, angular fae ears, and bright crimson eyes
she's always up for pranks and mischief, it's rare to see her without a smile
she loves exploring places, if you keep your eyes off her for one second, she's letting her curiosity take her to whatever she wants
if you're serious and stern though, she will listen to you, she wouldn't dare make her mother upset!
she's friendly with everyone and isn't shy to say hi to neighbors or absolute strangers
she's not overly affectionate, but she definitely enjoys hugs and kisses from you
she has an odd habit of taking stray animals back home in an attempt to adopt them, so you have little adventures with her trying to find an owner
do not let her in the kitchen
she has surely inherited her father's cooking abilities, somehow, she can render even a piece of toast beyond human consumption
magic comes as second nature to her, and she's always standing on ceilings
gosh her eyes absolutely sparkled when you told her about the teasing and mischievous fae that is her father
and soon, the portal opened and you found yourself in a gothic castle lit up by green candles
He's a lot taller, his hair longer and reaching his waist, and more enchanting than ever
Lilia stood in shock as your family figure come into sight. In all his years of living, he had never been so utterly stunned. After all these years, you had finally returned to him.
"Beastie..." Lilia gasped, his voice catching in his throat.
With a surge of energy, Lilia broke free from the trance-like state and hurried towards you, his hair streaming behind him like a dark flag as he enveloped you tightly in his embrace. "After all these years, you've truly come back to me?"
Carefully, Lilia held you at arm's length, studying your matured features, etching them into his memory like a cherished work of art. His eyes traced the lines and contours of your face, memorizing every detail that time had etched upon you.
"My, how you've grown," Lilia murmured, a mix of pride and wistfulness coloring his words. "The years have shaped you into a remarkable individual."
it's family reunion time!!!
he immediately drags you to the throne room where malleus, silver and sebek are
malleus is now king with two incredibly reliable bodyguards, and Lilia's his most trusted advisor
malleus is so glad his dear human friend is back, silver is satisfied that his father will have someone to be with, and sebek is screaming about Yuri, though she enjoys his loudness
for a while, Lilia is extremely affectionate, trying to make up for all the years that had gone by
when you're sleeping together at night, he hugs you tightly and it's difficult to leave his embrace
he definitely tries to cook for you two, going on and on about how the two of you need to stay healthy and need lots of nutrients
you always volunteer your portion for Yuri, and she'll gladly eat whatever her father has cooked for her
silver is an older brother often on babysitting duty, and Yuri loves watching him spar with sebek and also wants to learn
Sebek is quite fond of Yuri, and he sees his half-fae self in her
Lilia is always trying to fun with Yuri, bouncing her high up in the air and teaching her to hang upside down and swing around
plans so many family vacations, he can't wait to be exploring places with his two darlings
"Is she... ours?" Lilia asked. At your nod, he reached out to caress Yuri's cheek, his touch gentle as if he were touching fragile porcelain.
"Well, I'll be damned," Lilia chuckled, his voice cracking with emotion. "I never thought I'd be a father again. But I'm glad to meet you, little one. What's your name?"
Yuri giggled and and beamed at his touch. "My name's Yuri," she said, her voice sweet as honey.
"Yuri," Lilia repeated, his heart swelling with emotion. "What a beautiful name for my beautiful girl," he reached up to fondle her hair. "You know, Yuri," Lilia said, his voice growing serious. "I may not have been there for you when you were born, but I promise I'll always be here for you from now on. No matter what happens, I'm your father, and I'll always love you darling."
Part 2✧Part 3✧Part 4✧Masterlist
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mrfoox · 1 year
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Ok over an hour later and no im still a mess...
#miranda talking shit#I know i wont find an answer today bc i need time to weight pros and cons etc but like... My mind really is all over#Do i have the right to set some kind of rules? He's more experienced than me and this was his idea. Meanwhile im a virgin and basically not#Done much at all... Would it be crazy if i set some rules or boundaries anf what would those be? The obvious is. If i say im uncomfortable#It stops. That goes for him too. But idk if i can demand more and what it would be? I at one hand cant see myself setting the pace#Bc im so anxious and shy... Plus i wonder if theres anything one can do about ... Me feelinh potentially used? I dont know#Thats a worry for me. That he'll just want to f me and then hes gone. He said he wouldn't bc he cares about me#But its a worry? But how would that... Work... He have to give me a hug before he leaves? Would that be stupid idk.#My biggest fears is that I'll feel used or develop more feelings. I think i have the feelings under control. I obviously like him already#But if we do this we would go in with those expectations. Id not expect him to love me like that... I feel like i should for my own saftey#Set up some ttpe of rules to prevent me being hurt but i have no experience so i cant say what a rule would be stupid and what would be#Helpful/reasonable? I also know. We wont go all the way any time soon. He said that to me that he knows that im still a virgin#And he would not want to be the one to take it if i wasnt completely comfortable with it. He knows that if we do iy it'll be very#Well... Mild for a long time unless always. I know anyone who knows me will most likely scream and tell me not to... But also more than 50%#Of me really wants to... I feel like if this is a mistake? He'll be the best person I'd be able to do that mistake with? Does that make#Any sense? Because i trust him and like him and i feel like he does the same for me... I feel he would listen to me and respect me and not#Force me or push himself on me? And im definitely curious... Like yeah... And id kinda want to get some more experience... And gasp#Have fun??? Like when we discussed this even i laughed. He made me laugh during this. So i was obviously comfortable enough to do that#I guess this is an brain vs heart thing... Am i stupid and selfish for wanting this bc it'll potentially feel good and I'll feel wanted?#Maybe. Probably. But also... I can not think of any mistake like this ive ever made in my life. I havent allowed myself to do stupid shit#Ive not gotten stupid wasted or done something like that in my teens... This feels. If it'll hurt I'll learn from it and not be scarred#Forever? But i dont know. I think big part is that its new and exciting and all that and i want something like that... I want to feel#Something like that.... At least for a while as long as its actually fun...#Any advice or thoughts please do share. I know i sound naive and stupid bc i am honestly... But is that only a bad thing?#Idk genuinely so... Any thoughts I'll take anything. Or questions or any own experience i just need some others views
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