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#im going insane as you can tell by the amount of weird shit i say
murmurmurl · 2 months
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now the loud polish man is tormenting my woke mob car. i am living in hell.
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schizoidcel · 22 days
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## BOOTHILL x READER ★
🤍 ﹒ HEADCANONS ! ! . .
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- notes ̽ ۪⠀written before his release + gn reader huhu. yall i swear ill get to the lcb requests but im brainrotting too fucking much right now boothill is colonizing my mind so enjoy these thoughts i had and will throw into the tags
︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶༉‧₊˚.
He's a little spoon and NOBODY can convince me otherwise period.
We know damn well hes touch starved. So ofcourse he'd wanna be nuzzled up inbetween your chest and chin
Will teach you how to ride a horse. He definitely has a favourite (his name is Sebastian 🌚🌚)
Very protective over him though. You will not ride on that horse until you are months into the relationship
He gave you another horse to practice riding on and an extra horse incase the other "knocks your socks off" ... Whatever that means
You named them Yee and Haw and he was so conflicted with his emotions that he considered getting a routine check up on his body
Will tease you if you completely fuck up immediately.
He grabs your hands to gesture on things you should be wary about while being on the back of a horse, knowing it'll mess your brain up and lead you to not pay attention to a single thing coming out of his mouth
On the other hand if you're able to handle it in a short amount of time, he'll start flirting with you
"I'm doing it, Boo!" "Nice work, honeybunch. Think ya can manage ridin' somethin' else?" "Dude"
It's one or the other. You will not escape the Boothill down bad programm
Boothill also acts like a himbo to mess around with you.
On another note, you called him Bootyhill once and he's still shook up. Whether /pos or /neg is up to interpretation
While we're on the topic of nick/pet names, he calls you things you've never heard of before .
Or even if you did, they're things you expected never to be called 😭
What the fuck is a doodlebug Boothill
Type of man to get flustered when you flirt back. He just starts bugging out
Will play it cool though, but the faint blue on his cheeks says otherwise
Also a fan of headpats. No, he's not ashamed. No, he will not tell you.
Expanding on the no shame, Boothill takes it to the extreme
No filter, no mask, no nothing. Touchy EVERYWHERE you go
Even if he can't really feel it, he just feels more at ease when you both are near eachother or touch one another. Man wants to protect his partner, after all
It dosen't matter if you're able to protect yourself, the gesture just makes him feel more comfortable and calm
Also has a hair pulling kink woah. Let's keep it sfw everybody
Forehead kisses ❤️ or just kisses anywhere on his head in general. Kiss behind his ears and he will overheat
He let's you play with his hair<3 It's one of his favourite passtimes with you
Braid it, tie it in a ponytail, give him buns, pigtails, curl them, decorate them with hairpins, clip bows in his strands it don't matter PLAY WITH HIS HAIR ⁉️
He relaxes SO MUCH it's insane. Genuinely just one finger goes into that hair of his and he melts
This plays into the little spoon factor
You'd tease him about it but he takes pride in it 😭
Has a weird obsession with biting. If you complain that it hurts he goes "What, want me to smooch the pain away?" and he does this fuckass face :3 while you're just staring at him dead in the eye (you say yes btw)
If you're ticklish, he's hell for you
Tickles you in the most random times possible.
And you know it's even WORSE with those cold ass metalic hands
You're cuddling? The sides of your torso are not safe. You're currently occupied with an activity involving your hands? Your armpits are not safe either. He's laying on your bare stomache face down? He starts blowing raspberries.
You know damn well he uses the feathers of his hat 😭
Sticks it up your nose to make you sneeze too. Usually to wake you up or some shit
You could have the most volcano eruption alert level 5 sneeze and he'd still say "Aww, ya sneeze like a kitten!"
One last note this man is a whiney loser bottom not sorry
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the word ill is in boothill for a reason the way im laying in bed all sweaty ANYway 🌚😵😵😵😵
ૢ་༘࿐ thank you for reading ! Ⳋ᧙
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strnilolo2 · 7 months
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caught
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summary: while filming a video with the boys, they question your ability to sleep anywhere, and in any position.
word count: 914
warnings: one or two curse words, lots of dialogue, lowercase intentional.
an; this is my first time publishing a piece of mine, please let me know if there’s anything i can do to better my writing :)
|| i think im going to continue writing even if this doesn’t get any attention, as i enjoy writing on here. ||
“top three sleeping positions?” nick laughs as he reads the question out loud.
“why don’t we let Y/N talk to us about that”, you roll your eyes as the attention is brought onto you.
“nick i don’t even sleep weird, what are you on about” “don’t put false accusations onto the internet like that” you laugh as you take a sip of your drink.
“oh no you definitely sleep in some insane positions” chris adds from the passenger seat.
“can we just talk about the amount of times i’ve seen y/n asleep, first of all?? i could leave the room for two seconds and come back to you like this” the car irrupts into laughter as matt mocks you with his hand spread across the car.
“i do not! how dare you say that!”
“i will pull out pictures right now.”
a few weeks earlier..
the group had just gotten home from filming a video, chris and nick automatically going to their respective rooms for the night. you plop down onto the L shaped sofa, and begin to watch tiktok with matt.
“are you sure you’re not going to fall asleep if I go get a blanket?” matt asks, only to earn a hum of a response.
“i’m going to rock your shit if you fall asleep” no response. matt leaves to retrieve a blanket from his bedroom, only to come back to the inevitable. your phone sits beside your head, the tiktok you were once watching replaying over and over. matt laughs at your sprawled out state, one leg rests on the top of the couch, the other almost completely bent beside you. quickly snapping a photo, matt places the blanket over you and turns off your phone so that he too, can finally rest.
present day
“oh.. my god. there’s actually no way you guys have been taking pictures of me asleep” you loudly question. “that’s some stalker type shit” you bend your legs beneath your body, sitting criss cross.
“I have some too” Chris replies before searching his phone to find it.
last week..
getting home late from a party, you and nick decide to watch a movie together in his room before going to sleep.
“should we tell matt and chris we’re home?” you question nick as he begins to search for the perfect movie to end the night.
“no, im sure they can see it on life360. plus, i don’t know about you, but im not getting up” nick grabs the blanket from the bottom of the bed and gets comfortable.
“im going to lay this way, i dont have my glasses and i can’t see the TV from there” you begin to move the pillows on ‘your’ side of the bed, to the bottom where you’ll be laying.
“don’t get your feet near my pillows, smelly” nick shoves your feet away from his pillows, to which you oblige.
moments later, chris, deciding to make sure the two of you didn’t die on your way home, enters the room, only to discover both of you asleep. laughing at the positions you both are in, he takes a picture with the flash, waking up nick in the process.
“what the hell are you doing??” nick whisper shouts, covering his eyes as chris loses it, almost falling on the floor laughing.
“why is she asleep like that, oh my god, her feet are almost in your face” chris, unable to contain his laughter, or volume, causes you to wake up.
“stop” you get up from your spot in nicks bed, and wrap the blanket around you to go sleep in matt’s room. “you guys are way too loud” you grumble, before opening matt’s door to finally, maybe, gain some peace.
chris and nick finally make eye contact after watching you slowly walk away, and instantly laugh out loud, disturbing the peace once again.
“woah this is NOT about me why am i in that picture” nick sticks his hands out, pushing chris and matt back as they fall to the side laughing in sync.
“HIS EYES ARE GLOWING” matt manages to get out between fits of laughter. you cover your face in embarrassment, being caught lacking in your blissful moments of sleep.
“you guys are terrible, why would you take such horrendous photos of me, i am INNOCENT” the boston accent coming to surface in your words.
“no babe, with the way you sleep, you would think you belong in an institution”
“nick, that was an insane statement. anyways my favorite sleeping position is on my stomach with one arm hugging a pillow next to me, and the other underneath my head, and then i also have one leg all the way across the bed, and the other bent up”
the group bursts into laughter again, mocking you.
“omg and flat on my back, but I have to have pillows on all sides and my legs have to be spread out” you join the boys in laughter, acting out the position.
“you’re crazy” matt pushes your shoulder back to keep you from hitting him in your fit of laughter.
“oh no don’t think you’re safe matt. I caught you last week with your face stuffed into the pillow, don’t go calling me crazy.”
the video ends, that question being the last. you and the boys drive home, only for you to be caught again, asleep in the backseat with your head against the window.
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crismakesstuff · 3 months
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im so excited for invincible s2b now that it has an official release date… and that release date is march 14th
Let me talk about why that has me worried for the future of the show
‼️also no hate to any other shows mentioned‼️
I want to start with these two images :
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invincible compared to the boys and now hazbin hotel has BARELY gotten any offical advertising on this level. The boys also got ads in times square for the promotion of s3 and the spin-off gen v im pretty sure but I could be wrong.
Don’t get me wrong I am rly happy to see an animated show get promotion at that level and I think more streaming services should do the same but why is it that invincible, a show on its SECOND SEASON gets nothing? The official invincible accounts have to do most of the heavy lifting themselves with generating hype on their twt,insta and tiktok. People complain that the accounts often make “an announcement for the announcement” but they have too! They literally have no other option! It sucks to see invincible show signs of a show thats clearly being tampered with by executive fuckery that has led so many other animated shows to an early grave.
Also I NEED people to realize that invincible’s release schedule NOT THE FAULT OF THE CREW
I see people regularly being rude and borderline aggressive to crew members online (which ive seen happen in other fandoms too) but the amount of people that were bitching and whining about the hiatus saying things like “this is why we shouldn’t let animators have good working conditions” and people agreeing with those takes were INSANE. The crew have no control over when the show drops or not, that is a decision left up to executives.
Now why could this delay be happening ?
a little bit ago amazon made this announcement to its customers:
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this very well lines up with what many people began to speculate online as to why invincible had such a weird release schedule for season 2. They release the first half and get people hooked on the first 4 episodes ending on a massive cliffhanger and then release the second half after ads are introduced in hopes of making more money bc ppl don’t want ads in the middle of their shows.
Even then many people (myself included) think that it would’ve ultimately been better for the sake of the shows own hype to just wait to release them in March back to back all 8 episodes. Because the midseason break just kneecapped the hype the show had built up so hard and now many people are reasonably frustrated.
Because there was no clarity on when the show would be back. Most people assumed it would be a month long break for the holidays which shows have done for a long time. And then fake leaks came out that the show would come back in early January, and then the invincible accounts were virtually silent, and people were saying the break was intentional for fans to (recover) for ep 4. It was all over the place
What should fans do going forward?
Best thing you can do is stream the show legally if you can! TALK about invincible, don’t let the hype die out. Get this shit on trending ! Boost any official posts online showing that there is still a demand for this show! If you can, buy merch! Read the comics legally ! LET AMAZON KNOW WE STILL CARE ABOUT THIS SHOW!
again no hate to the other shows here bc ive watched all of them! I just want invincible to get some of that love too because this show is so amazing and you can tell how much love the crew has put into it <3
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pinkiepie20000 · 3 months
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Tje amount of men I see on this app making Arlecchino into their submissive waifu or whatever is genuinely baffling like PLEASE look at this woman and tell me she's not a lesbian. I'm SICK and TIRED 💔‼️‼️
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Arlecchino kisses women end of discussion 🫶
you are literally so right 😔😔 nit only does she kiss women, she kisses ME. that woman looks like she makes the look of disappointment that your mom gives you in the store after yoh start actin up. like how can anyone look at her and go "heh.. yeah.. that's my little soft uwu waifu rught there 🤓!" like does she not kill people... is she not called insane by other harbingers.... like wdym "she definitely gives the best head!" if she were to give you head it'd be the decapitated head of your grandpa?? like im SICK and TIRED. of seeinv people mischaracterize EVERY SINGLE ONE of the female characters in ANY anime, game, or literally anything?? like raiden, even if she does pull a swordnout from her tits, i still think its pretty weird people call her booba sword like SHUT UPPPP your parents DONT love you AT ALL!!!!!!!!!!! like her lore is something i love considering how it is and the fact people ignore the fact the raiden ei hadn't seen the world jn over 500 years, so obviously everything is going to be different, so of course she'd be oblivious to the current world, they make her seem like some clueless waifu or some shit, and i hate the word waifu because of these people, like why not just say wife? do you have to say waifu? do you have to be weird? theres so many characters they always water down and i dont get why?
like eula, she's a genuine knight, she technically kills people, and she has a deep history with her familys past, so i just wished people would focus on what the characters good traits are, like not their boobs, ass, thighs, or basically all of that, j wish they could focus on how her childhood was and how it lead her to be the way she is now? people hate her because of her family
and shenhe too, she's actually really good lore wise. i think the fact the only thing holding her back from slaughtering someone are those red ropes is really cool, and the fact her dad treated her like that and how he thought she was curse or something, but NOOOOOO. FAN SERVICE. it ruins everything.
i could go on abt this and i WILL.
not only them, lisa too, the fact her vision is fake and she doesn't even get to live her full life is cool? like wtf?
CLORINIDE OR WTV. isnt she like a cop or smt idk but either way its crazy how she actually does a lot of near death shit and people still think she's not who she is
nit only is that an issue with women, its an issue with men too.
most of the time its ALWAYS. sterotypes, like big men, they get turned into these big, possessive, sex hungry dudes when in reality its fucking NEUVILLETTE. like no he wouldn't make you ride it till gr back breaks hed braid yr hair or some shit then go talk with melusines or wtv? same with wriothesley, hes a cool guy, he owns a prison and hes nice to the prisoners
i sound like a fucking nerd rn wtf
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liquidstar · 8 months
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Ok so, I have only ever watched one episode of Adventure Time, and it was on a hotel room TV, in terrible hindi dub, and I barely remember it on account of being 10(?) but it horrified me.
I remember the MCs trying to get Ice King a girlfriend or something, but he keeps being a gross asshole so they take him to a lake and point at some swans to try and explain love to him. They point to two swans kissing like ':D' and he's like 'ewww' and then the male swan suCKS IN AND EATS THE FEMALE and IK's like ':)))' while the boys stare in horror.
IDR how the episode ended or how much I watched, but I remember thinking 'wow american cartoons are hardcore. I'm sticking to pirated pokemon from now on.'
And you are telling me that show had lesbians in it leter????
oh my god im so sorry but imagining you watching that swan scene as a 10 year old is so fucking funny, i can understand why you stuck with pirated pokemon LOL
adventure time is absolutely very fucked up in a lot of different ways. the early seasons leaned into that type of absurd shit you just described a lot more especially. while the later ones actually started getting more existential and building on the worlds lore.
there wasnt exactly a focused plot, per say. i mean, there was, but it wasnt something methodical and planned out, it was played by ear. and i think it really worked. the way they did it turned out a really cool magic system (based on the idea that reality is just collective perception, and magic users are aware of this and can manipulate perception ergo reality. but the more cosmic knowledge you have the more insane or depressed you become etc especially if youre mortal), and also cool world building (it takes place in a post apocalypse after a nuclear war, now far into the future the face of the earth has completely changed but the horrors unleashed still impact it today), and also a lot of really amazing themes (the world is always changing and nothing is ever permanent, but no matter how things change things also stay the same, in a different way. especially where bonds and love are concerned. everything stays.)
and YEAH there are lesbians (i mean i always hc marcy as bi but still). and they also come from the shows improvisational nature. theres a lot of genuinely really amazing relationships and plotpoints born out of that to me. like, as the show starts to get a lot more thematically dense later on it can seem like a weird shift. some ppl say it got pretentious over time bc its not as goofy (its still pretty goofy lol), but i think it worked... like... perfectly.
because its a coming of age story where the main character actually ages, it actually feels so right that the world around him begins to seem different too. it makes sense that when he was 12 we were doing stupid goofy adventures, when he was 15 we were watching him deal with a lot of really fucked up trauma, and when he was 17 we watched him learn to grow as a person who thinks beyond simple terms of good and evil.
i know im tottaaallly rambling at this point but theres really an insane amount to talk about with adventure time. the timeline alone is ridiculous. but mostly i think my passion comes down to the fact that i was also growing up with the story, always around the same age as the mc going through similar stuff... even now, the story is focusing on a depressed 20-something trying to find whimsy in her life again. and technically the last episode timeline-wise is about accepting death lol
so like idk how exactly id recommend it to a new viewer, its really possible that a lot of ppl wont be able to really tolerate the early seasons as adults (i mean, i think theyre charming, but i have nostalgia goggles lol). that being said i think that its a series totally worth a shot for everyone... eventually. if it sounds interesting you just gotta accept the goofiness at first and trust that youre in for something wild in a totally different way later on. and totally unique and cool and special in a way nothing else has really been able to capture for me since.
TL;DR: no yeah the show was incredibly fucked up and that swan did eat that other swan. but it does have themes and also lesbians.
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neopuppy · 2 months
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i do think infantilizing asian men is a big problem in the kpopper community but i think a big reason as to why people still see dream as “cotton candy boys” is because we remember when they were 14-16 years old. i was there when they debuted and i had already been in the kpop community for a few years. im an 00 baby and im asian too and i remember seeing dream like “wow these dudes are so young” because i was a big exo l and army and they were grown ass men. at the time, it was very odd for ALL the members of an idol group to debut at THAT young of age so i wasnt used to seeing these dudes my age that looked so young. plus it doesn’t help we kinda watched them grow up and theres so much content from when they were kids. kinda like how we view disney actors that we grew up with that never really shook the disney persona in our heads. i’m not excusing this mindset because i think it’s flawed but i think that’s why you see people say stuff like that about dream.
ive been an nctzen since the 7th sense and it took me a long time to see the sex appeal in dream because i still saw them as the hoverboarding nerds, even though im the exact same age as half of them (which i realize now that i was the problem)
all this to say, it’s still a big problem that people infantilize these asian men (especially) in their 20s but i think this mindset is why people (esp seasoned kpoppers that have been in the community for years) might say these things about dream more
ok so your timeline is the exact same as mine, except I watched Chewing Gum when it came out and said nahhhhhh, no thanks, bc even back then I was like this is too weird. even now I skip the video if it comes on my shuffle.
(I ended up ranting, sorry)..
BUT I’ve said this before many times, its sad how much more active even the nct dream smut community was on here like before I started posting bc when I first came on here looking for something to read during lockdown I saw so many fics from like 2017-2019 and they had TONS of engagement like…..5000+ notes for everything I was like????? werent some of these dudes like FRESHLY 18?🥴
this is personal but in general im having a bad week and I was listening to Jungkook yesterday and randomly teared up thinking abt everything he’s probably had to go thru chsjxjjsjx. bc when I got into bts I think JK was still 17 going onto 18 and the amount of sexualization I saw online was INSANE. it only got worse with time, but literally it back tracks as far as pre-debut and upsets me so fucking muche xnnejc im very sensitive abt it because I developed very early on in life and had grown men speaking to me inappropriately ever since a 1 digit age which I think really fucked up my head and made me internalize shit but like thats WHY I feel this way abt all of this
bc it took me a long time to become comfortable with my own body and expressing myself sexually bc I was over-sexualized from a very young age which made me regress where as I feel like kpop idols almost do the opposite at times……like they’re repressed to act like children well into their 20’s and end up ripping their clothes off as soon as they can.
JK is the best example of this for me bc I have followed him in bts since he was a minor? where as Dream I didn’t follow much prior to Ridin’ because their sound wasn’t my vibe(I still prefer 127’s music now). like thats why I was getting sad bc I was like mannnn JK’s sooooooo insanely talented and instead of letting him bloom artistically Bang PD let Scooter Braun paint him out to be this overly horny fuck boy. which is fine, whatever, its just music and he said multiple times its not personal for him at all but just cndjxjd ik he had to deal with so much at such a young age even some nasty ass old man telling him how pretty he was on tv when he was 15 saying JK his TYPE😐 I HATE THINKING ABT IT NDJEJXJDJD
its a double ended sword like being overly sexualized too young or infantilized as a whole adult, both are topics that piss me off. from one spectrum there is me who really clings to my childhood bc I feel like I was never treated or seen as a child bc of my rush thru puberty vs my friend who is super petite and has always wanted to be seen as womanly/adult bc she can pass for a kid. we had this discussion one day and I was like holy shit this is internalized trauma…
and the Asian men being infantilized thing is a WHOLE other topic because YES, and not just that but if I had a dollar for every time kpop fans call a male idol gay I’d be a millionaire. this also stems back to fetishization bc you see a hairless man with makeup and nice hair acting cute and you’re like well yes, twink, obviously
crazy when you realize Korea is one of the most misogynistic countries, but yeah gay ass twink, all of them, and stupid! THEY’VE NEVER SEEN A VAGINA IN THEIR LIFE! according to a lot of fans
I feel like I can’t say much on this subject bc you know….I write porn abt kpop idols but I’d rather see them as the adults they are instead of making goo goo ga ga edits of men in their mid-late 20’s who have been able to drink alcohol legally since 18 and most likely have been ran through more times than I can count on 2 hands
as a psa, its likely there are gay idols, and even some who haven’t had sex, but its just as likely that there are heterosexual idols who have sex and even have significant others. they’re human like the rest of us and get horny as often as any average person would I imagine
two sides to every coin right.
like yes I get why some may see Dreamies as youngins still but like get the fuck over it omg LMAOOO SORRY BUT LIKE????? THOSE ARE MEN, GROWN MEN!!!! if you don’t see it that way, go look at a 4th gen group and then come back, it’ll hit cnennxnsnsz
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pitbullwithaship · 3 months
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DOCTOR WHO LIVEBLOG 2009 SPECIAL THE END OF TIME (PART 1)
Okay, I think I might be emotionally prepared for both of the parts of this. Time to watch, wish me mental stability!
Planet Earth Intro
Oh there's a documentary narrator lol
Hello christmas
WILF HELLO
Pretty singing, gorgeous singing
Those kids are good
Tardis cameo?
THE SAINTED PHYSICIAN LOL
Spooky woman?
Evil laughter?
Hi Doctor (he's mentally ill)
Hi Ood (he is aware of the Doctor's mental illness)
Snowy day
Ooh pretty city
Ood prophet cool
More evil laughter?? Hello?
Which man is dead
The Master? Maybe tis his wife at least (poor her)
WHATY WHAT TIS WEIRD GALLIFREYAN THINGY
HES ALIVE THEN WHAT
It's not nice when time starts bleeding
Poor Lucy
Weird woman on the TV?
Okay resurrection generally isn't the greatest choice
This is culty
Til death do them part she's awesome
Person running? Master running?
I love Wilf he's so silly
Lol sending out the troops to find the Doctor
Okay so the Master is even more insane than before
Yay Obama
Creepy as hell my dude
That's horrifying
That's ultra horrifying jeez
Hello Doctor
Epic chase through a garbage dump
"Let me help" oh come on you've tried that before
Old people gang up to take a photo with him lol
Gets groped
Don't be sulky Doctor
HE WILL KNOCK FOUR TIMES OH MY GOSH
Dude course you'll die that's just what happens
Not changed no
Aww hello Shaun Temple
They're cute, and he's glad she's happy, he's the ultimate depressed bestie
Merry Fucking Christmas
Awww he misses her so much!! This is so sad!!!
Doctor where are you going now!?
Idiots and fools
Dramatic western faceoff
WALKS FROM AN EXPLOSION HELLO
I've said before, he's quite good at getting electrocuted
He's also vaguely suicidal but at the same time desperate to stay alive
Oh I know, he has the fear of death that only one who'd like to die can have
We can hear it
HE HEARD IT
You are mad my dude
Flying light thing? Hello
Oh it's the government then I assume
Poor Doctor
Oh generic rich powerful dude has a book
HELLO DONNA?
Oh generic rich powerful dude has the Master
Okay generic rich powerful people are evil generic rich powerful people
The war was won and passed you by
Aww he never killed that wonderful I live Wilf
Usually if people say "whatever you do don't tell so-and-so" you should probably tell so-and-so
Pistol
He loves her so much
Fair enough lol
Sylvia gurl
I thought it'd be cleaner I love Wilf
Wilf and Doctor friendship is the most pure flawless amazing one ever
Scientists rebelling maybe?
Nope those are aliens
PEOPLE NEED TO STOP TRYING FOR IMMORTALITY ITS BAD
If the censoring thing on the tardis got broken the Doctor would be scandalized by the amount of swearing his companions all do but especially wilf and donna
Shimmer shimmer
I love aka hate how he's wearing a dog collar
Bondage
Oh shit
Oh dear
I guess they hide the presidents face cuz they couldn't get a real Barack Obama cameo which sucks
No he's not gonna love this
Oh dear a planet of Masters
Oh dearie me
That's disturbing
That's incredibly disturbing holy cows
THE TIME LORDS RETURNED IM SORRY WHAT HELLO THE NARRATOR IS A TIME LORD TOO WHY DO THEY WANT TO END TIME I THOUGHT THEY WERE STUFFY AND LAW ABIDING
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yakultstanreblog · 6 days
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I kid you not I was just sitting in the uni library and before getting up to give up for the day and leave I wrote in my notes app kinda jokingly but kinda not:
“maybe western beliefs are just so wrong maybe no amount of doctor can fix me maybe I am simply cursed lol for I have sinned many times and seek no forgiveness - a new level of insanity or clarity” (Ik my notes are full of weird shit.. I was also studying medical dominance and how westerners have made it seemingly superior to other forms of health practices/understandings such as religious sin etc for context)
AND I WALK OUT OF THE LIBRARY, START WALKING HOME WITH MY SAD MUSIC ON REPEAT, ON THE VERGE OF TEARS FOR NO REASON(bc life rough but im fine), ON THE EDGE OF CAMPUS AND AM FULLY FINDING MYSELF WILLINGLY BEING PREACHED TO BY A CULT about the heavenly mother oh my god they’re getting smarter LIKE SM SMARTER cause I almost believed this was just a hella feminist Christian for a solid 10 minutes help im out of practice I haven’t been approached by a cult member in like 6 months cos I rarely leave the house ANYWAYS luckily for me I have an unhealthy special interest? in the researching of cults and every single step of their indoctrination particularly the correlation of various korean cults indoctrinating australian white women (when I say cults I don’t just mean religious organisation, cos while there is valid argument that all religion could TECHNICALLY be cult-like, I need u to know I respect religion for others and what it is and am aware there are some prominent factors which differentiate normal religious organisation from genuine proper cult) luckily this particular cult wasn’t going to take me to meet its rapist leader in korea like most the other in melb but it does isolate u from ppl u know and force u to “donate” all ur money lmao fail bc im already socially isolated and I have no money LOLOOL anyways usually they ask for ur number but they also have half given up when u tell them u used to be religious and ur not anymore bc ur critical but this time they just gave me their number cos I think they thought I was like fully convinced cos I was stupidly engaging in the discourse with half interest (but only bc I was trying to make sense if what they were telling me was accurate or not from a religious standpoint bc I was raised Catholic) but sneakily she was telling me all about the Hebrew bible and shit with examples of Hebrew text I couldn’t read LOLOL and what I rlly should have said is god is not my mother or father bitch my (ex) god ain’t male or female, my god if existent be a genderless non human spirit referred to as “he” bc we live in a patriarchal society where male pronouns are pretty standard in referring to just about anything in English language ANYWAYS I lowkey love engaging w cult members while some ppl say dangerous I usually detach my interest while talking as further research into their communicative ways but today I was caught so off guard bc at my particular uni there are usually just religious preachers sometimes who have no ill intent and see my gay stickers on my laptop and give up before they even start knowing they are gonna fail but these ppl defs didn’t go to my uni they were just waiting on the outskirts for sad uni students to approach LMAO mission accomplished also they told me im a good listener when I was like zoning out bc I said yes yes yes when they asked me if I was aware of particular religions events and terms lol that was not very convincing bc I was not demonstrating good listening at all ANYWAYS this was a pointless and probably an incomprehensible story that I cbf reading over hope u enjoyed stay safe don’t go getting indoctrinated into a cult
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jungkookschin · 10 days
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WTF??
THAT WAS SO GOOD
the way you describe jungkook and oc’s relationships from both their perspectives is so cute 😞 just the way they talk about each other is so?? omg i don’t even have words. “future mother of my kids” OH HES REALLY IN LOVE. also when jungkook was like “she doesn’t need to be a superhero with me” STFU SO CUTE I CANT 😭 it’s really so crazy that they’re really just saving the world but so gentle and normal with eo.
fuck apollo, fuck ares, kinda don’t know how i feel about hephaestus but yeah fuck him too why not, just fuck all the gods tbh
oh? we’re learning more about jungkook’s past hookups? why is that so funny
i love the way you write oc tho. like her thinking is so real and realistic. she’s secure in their relationship but also has doubts about herself that are totally understandable.
jungkook being so protective lowkey had me blushing 🤭 he was thinking how oc should be more aware of her surroundings to protect herself from perverts and then was like wait no that’s why i’m here
smut was explicit but that was hot and sweet ngl. jungkook really just wants to please his girl
i’m curious about the dream tho like?? anticipating the next chapter already
thank you so much for taking the time to write this amazing chapter!! 🫶
AWWW THANK U SMMMMM <3333 again full transparency i use chatgpt to rewrite sentences bc my ass is soo lazy to think of pretty sentence structures.
im sooo happy that u commented on their dynamic just bc i put a lot of effort into making the little things matter. like i COULD just say some shit like "Jungkook is in love with her and wants to protect her blah blah blah" but i TRY to show it thru his actions.. which is superrr fun given that this is an action story and he can like kill monsters and shit hehe
NO FR FUCK THE GODS!! fuck hephaestus too. in greek mythology hes always been up to some STRANGE and WEIRD activities... but in this fic im trying to portray him as a good father bc he's yn's dad 😭✋
And as for oc , i think she's super relatable 😭 like i COULD make her crazy and insane (as we all r sometimes 😌) but i want to show her rational side . lowkey some fanfic readers are kinda women-hating, for lack of a better term. bc if i give my oc's any flaws, they'll go off in my inbox about how much they hate oc 😭 like damnn she's not actually dating jungkook chillll
i lovedd writing the protective aspect, and i love when guys r protective. not FORCEFULL but idk he was kinda forceful in the fic but it's always hot cause he's like "omg wait, im the strongest demigod in the history of the world, i can take care of her", and i can imagine that it gives oc an overwhelming sense of security cause shes gonna be safe foreverrr
AS FOR THE SMUT AHHHH, i recently started to add smut in my fics, but IM so scared of making it too explicit. Like I don't want to make it too obvious because i feel weird writing words like "dick" or "pussy" jkdfsfkldf
furthermore, i have a theory that a lot of my fics would be more popular if i added some delicious smut to it, but then sometimes i think that oh wait jungkook is a real person and if he saw this he might not like it. which is why i try to add the appropriate amount to make the story make sense and not sexualize him too much?? instead just try to convey the intensity of his love .
as for the dream, i think when i wrote it i wanted to portray y/n's paranoia , which is another reason jk wanted to keep her away from the quest
nonetheless, thank u for ur comments <33, i can tell that u really read the story which means so much to me. I hope u have the bestest day ever anon!!
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one-abuse-survivor · 6 months
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i feel kinda shitty rn because i was almost convinced my dad had. like. stopped? being an abusive asshole to me? i told myself that he did it because he was so stressed and upset bc of stuff happening and that now it was over even though i know he goes through stages where he seems fine and then abruptly turns into an asshole. i was telling myself it was over and it was going to be weird that i had a period in my life where my dad abused me but now it was over and i could just lowkey hate him for it but it was over.
but then, of course, because i'm a dumbass, the other day, my dad started making fun of me for literally being a cripple? (i am crippled, to be clear, he was just making fun of me for how i walk and being slow and using a cane and how it makes him have to wait for me to get out of the way, which inconveniences him or whatever.) and i was feeling so bad that day that i got pissed at him and then i got in trouble for telling him that making fun of my disabilities isn't okay. (because that's petty somehow ._. )
and now he's avoiding me bc he knows he was an asshole and didn't apologize and he doesn't want to do that. and im just so done. like. i used to think i couldn't call him abusive bc we were all in such a stressful situation and he was just dealing with it like a dickhead but we're out of it now, almost 2 years, and he's still on/off treating me like shit, avoiding me so he doesn't have to apologize, and then trying to come back and chat like nothing happened. i feel like im going insane or maybe im just stupid for letting him do this to me. im just barely an adult but still an adult, i should know what to do in this situation right? but my family just says 'forgive him' and i don't know what else to do when im stuck living with him. :/
Hi there, nonnie.
I'm really sorry this happened to you. You were starting to feel that you were safe around him and he turned around and abused you again. That's awful beyond words, and sounds so scary and confusing. I don't think you're a dumbass for believing the abuse was over. I think downplaying what happened and believing it wouldn't happen again might have been a coping mechanism/survival strategy, because you can't exactly process his abuse while still living with him, so your mind might have resorted to just hoping for the best so you could keep going.
Good job standing up for yourself when he made those ableist comments! And I'm sorry he didn't budge and painted you as petty for that. Any good parent would be proud of their kids when they stand up for themselves, even against their own parents when they say something insensitive.
You're not stupid for struggling, nonnie. Being an adult doesn't automatically mean you should know how to handle being abused. For one, the abuse-victim relationship has been established between you since you were a minor. That's not a dynamic you can just snap out of. Even as adults, victims of child and teen abuse can very easily fall back into that dynamic, even if it's been years or decades since they got out. In my case, whenever I run into my mother, I still fall back into survival mode, and I'm in my mid-twenties. And, until I was able to move out of her house at 20, I kept living in survival mode constantly in her house. Being 19 wasn't any different than being 16 when it came to living in that house. I was exactly the same amount of traumatised and helpless until the moment that I left.
And, moreover, there are many adults who become victims of abuse in adulthood, for example within the context of romantic relationships, workplace relationships, or friendships. Being an abuse victim isn't a minor-only thing. Sure, it's not the exact same experience, but adults are definitely not immune to abuse. So, no, nonnie, you shouldn't know what to do in this situation. The vast majority of people of all ages wouldn't know how to escape from an abusive relationship if they found themselves in one.
It's horrible that your family isn't supporting you and is telling you to forgive him. They're basically telling you you don't deserve boundaries, respect, or reparations when you're hurt, and you should just let others mistreat you without complaining. They're condoning and facilitating his abuse of you when they should be supporting you and confronting him instead. That's incredibly unfair, and you deserve so much better than that.
Sending a virtual hug ❤️
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wikipediafag · 2 years
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NBC Hannibal and *the Will Graham situation*
@two-captains im just gonna link your post here for future reference lol it was just wayy too long w both our shit so (HERE) thankss <33
We have basically the same character conclusion abt Will Graham so let's start there. Yeah, WG seems like he's autistic with frequent hyper/hypoempathy flip-flopping. It makes him capable of good projection (which the show heightens to Magical Abilities, to steal ur words lol) as well as prone to "turning off" his empathy when distressed. FOR HANNIBAL this is honestly not too hard for me to believe. Like they've asked us to roll with weirder. I'm autistic and a lot of my friends are, many of us have a similar but less drastic empathy problems/abilities coupled with projection skills. Unironically, Will Graham has the sad emo version of Abed Nadir's Dreamatorium HAHA
Side note: Unpopular opinion perhaps but I really like the way they visualize how Will runs through a crime scene in his mind, pulling the details away and then adding them back in order. Idk! I think it's a good idea to ground the nonsense in Something thats easier for the understand compared to Hannibal Lecter Literal Supervillian. And it's a great way to visually represent bottom-up thinking. It gets off-course as the show goes on, but that pilot intro???? At very least I'm so glad it wasn't Sherlock style LMFAO
They definitely go too far implying from the JUMP that Will is ~off~ hes soooo Spooooky like. Hello. That man is shitting bricks in every scene. They rlly just... started saying that and prayed we wouldn't argue. It's definitely weird, they almost always go wrong when they rely on tell-not-show and everything they showed us was Will being abused so..... very much not him being evil lol.
But, like you said, the part that REALLY rubs me wrong is the fact that we're just supposed to be okay with how much blame he's taking for insane amounts of coercion. I have no idea how we were supposed to believe that any of that was malice from him. AT VERY MOSTi would call some events, like the initial Garrett Jacob Hobbs overkill, negligence or reckless endangerment. Like, it's fucked up, but so much more of it is the fault of everyone else who put him in those situations knowing from day 1 that he wasn't mentally stable enough to be FBI. If it's negligence, it's on the part of Jack and whoever else signed off on him being in the field knowing he is not stable!!!
Every character uses it against him. Jack's abuse of it is probably the most egregious, second only to the guy who literally tried to saw into his skull so. Yeah. I really love the character tho. Lawrence Fishburn totally sold it imo. I think Jack's character doesn't get enough praise because.. well hes a shitty guy lol. Great character tho. Jack really does tie a lot of the emotional parts of the show together in a way that is FAR more believable. His dismissal is realistically selfish and he's very obviously in over his head. The C-plot with his wife was really interesting and emotional! Jack's treatment of Will is more condemned by the show I would say, with Alana pushing against him from a compassionate perspective. And there's what bothers me. Alana Fucking Bloom. oh my god. (sorry this is long lol)
Alana Bloom is a good character. I like her. Let's establish that, but I think the show regularly mishandles or misrepresents her characterization.
I'm of the opinion that Alana being with Margot Verger is weird and uncharacteristic bc she literally spent two seasons scared of Will like wtf. YOU CAN TRUST HER AND NOT HIM???? I think it's very weird they try to play it like she's an angel-turned-girlboss when her ACTUAL character as presented is incredibly interesting without all of the random details added later! See: "professional curiosity". It feels like they we're trying to "prove" she'd changed since S1.
There's a lot that could've been done with her gray morality that gets tossed just as quick as it's mentioned, leaving all of her main plot moments feeling.... off. I feel like they wanted her distrust of WG to make us legitimize the claim that he's Evil or whatever, but it really misses the mark, at least for me. She's kind and caring, but often picks professionalism above both. Her character was a debate on judgement and boundaries, if you're justified to be prejudiced if you're compassionate and/or correct. She just seems selfish with an extreme embarrassment about it. Then her character arc FULLY derails and she randomly stops being ashamed and Boom. Verger Baby. wtf. The Alana we see is far more like Dr. Chilton than the writers seem to think. At least when it comes to prejudgement in a psychiatric, moral, or social context.
I feel like you summed it up best w/ "It's like the show wrote two characters, will Graham in the dialogue of how everyone including himself sees him which is how we seem to be supposed to see him". It reminds me of the Midsommar arguments everyone was having back when it first came out, about weather or not it had a happy ending. I have the same opinion i do about Hannigram and Midsommar, that its awfully reductive to equate a character being pleased or satisfied or happy or whatever with a net-positive "good ending". I'd say Will is happy in his last scene, but he's certainly not sane or healthy. If you score based on protag's mood in their final scene, both Midsommar and Hannibal end on "positive" notes, but I don't think I have to explain why that's sort of irrelevant if you look at their plots for a second lol. It can be moving and passionate and your protag can be happy, but if there's serial murder and double suicide idk what to tell you kekw. Probably not The Good Ending, just a satisfying one.
I'd say Hannigram, as a whole, is a thematic departure. In my opinion, they never link it back around to fit in with the whole "psychological diagnosis is not an exact science" thing that Hannibal Lecter media tends to play into. just because Hannibal The Character believes that. It's here nor there imo, but it does feel like two concepts with similar enough emotions and aesthetics mushed together rather than weaving them together neatly. There is the Real Adult Life mental illness and trauma plotlines and... the Hannigram ones. idk. Both are interesting shows to watch! I'm a horror nerd lol I fucking love the romantic insanity shit, but together i think it loses whatever message they were trying to carry over from the Hannibal books.
Like listen. If you wanted it to be Super Fucked Up Murder Husband Show then why do they make it seem like Will actually harbors deep unresolved hatred for Hannibal until the end of S3??? like, he should. that's the sane thing to do. But if you don't want sane Will, then you have to commit to that and make that mf evil!!! They have thee most random catharsis moments, if you look at it based on characterization and plot. I think it's super easy to ignore if you're watching because the emotional beats land pretty often because. well. These actors are amazing. There's not much else to say. Its brilliant because of the cinematogrophy, og concept, and acting. Unpopular opinion perhaps but the dialogue is high-level mid, B+. It's only brilliant because we're used to TV being atrocious with dialogue.
#like it sucks in the way that. the way Hannibal is always superior always getting out of stuff is such bad main character syndrome
and ^ honestly i have this complaint of every single Hannibal Lecter media. they literally gave this dude superpowers lol wtf do you MEAN you can name the smell of Clarice's perfume from YESTERDAY through a WALL??????
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anyway ya those r some thoughts and uhhhh Beverly stan club
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computerpeople · 8 months
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im venting about being a bigender bisexual person and it includes gender politics don't fight me on this post its about personal experience
i dont understand how a lot of people understand that transphobia is a thing, lesbophobia is a thing, misogyny is a thing, but then suddenly shit themselves when transmascs bring up how misogyny intersects their experience as a trans person. i don't believe in "transandrophobia" or whatever the fuck its called, because that implies that they're being attacked for being a man, or being masculine specifically. like no shit that's not whats going on, you're being attacked for being a "wrong girl" sorry to say. and theres this weird fucking idea that transmasc = binary passing male, and that acknowledging any misogyny that they go through is inherently misgendering them (even though misogyny effects everyone in different ways because of how prevalent it is) so lets forget about the binary transmen for a second
whgat about me? what about people like me. the fat transmascs who don't pass but have transitioned medically enough that people can VISUALLY TELL youre transgender. i bind all the time, i have facial hair, i have an insane amount of body hair, i have an androgynous voice. i dress however the hell i want, sometimes masculine, sometimes feminine. and i have no interest in being stealth, or "passing" for societies standards, i have no interest in being a binary man. but i get mistreated all the fucking time, im seen as a fat, ugly, "wrong looking" woman. i take pride in it, but you need to understand that people fucking hate "wrong looking" women. that's literally a part of misogyny. so why am i expected to not talk about my own experiences with misogyny as a transmasc person. its just fucking irritating. so much of my girlhood is defined by being a "wrong looking" woman, or a "wrong acting" woman, and i am so proud of it. i am so fucking proud of identity in that. im just like my mom, and she deserves to feel beautiful and loved and amazing in all the ways i do. but even in queer spaces, if i acknowledge that, i'm "misgendering myself" ir "invalidating myself" or that i wouldn't really understand what its like to be a woman because i never really was one. yes i was! and she still lives through me, shes still fucking in me! she never went away! and shes happy to look like a man! she wants it all the same as i want it because she is me and i still face misogyny and transphobia because of it all the fucking time. and it's such a weird experience to live in this weird space where im too trans to be a woman, too womanly to be a transmasc, too much of a MAN LOVING MAN to be a "transmasc lesbian" but too much of a WOMAN LOVING WOMAN to be a "transfag" and too "binary" on BOTH sides to be anything inbetween. even in the MOST QUEER spaces and the most accepting areas, people assume im a transfem? which is okay, but then people automatically assume its only she/her or that im a "queen" or only gender me as a woman. and when i correct them i can physically feel the attitude change, despite the fact that i also still fucking identify as a woman. it fuckinbg sucks
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bratz-kitten · 3 years
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ASTRO OBSERVATIONS [part 5]
— people with jupiter in the 8th may experience an “abundance” of traumatic experiences throughout life, often relating to death; these are the people who truly feel like everyone they love ends up dying. at their worst, they can become desensitized to death— jupiter is ruled by sagittarius, a sign known for being in denial when in difficult situations in favor of optimism. these natives can pretend like nothing actually happened, or minimize the situation in their head so that they don’t have to face it.
— okay this might be a weird one... like, you know in asoiaf when arya was walking through the streets and was always like “i’m as quiet as a shadow”? that’s literally the energy of someone with planets in the 12th house/chart ruler in the 12th house. these people are so stealthy. they’re able to move so quietly and without anyone noticing, both literally and figuratively. on one hand, they’re very quiet about their plans and ambitions to the point where other people only find out when they’re achieving success over it; on the other hand, they just. don’t like making noise while walking idk bitch you’ll only see me coming when i’m right beside you, i even get paranoid that i’m breathing too loud and that other people will hear 
— people with moon aspecting mars can be incredibly impulsive when they feel hurt or triggered. yall need to be careful with doing things in the heat of the moment that you know you’ll regret later... but in the moment, you feel so hurt that it clouds your rational side. please be more self-aware about this because you may make decisions that will directly affect you for the worse in the future 
— people with leo mars ft. constantly asking you for pictures... about anything. they just wanna SEE LMFAO THEY DON’T CARE WHAT IT IS THEY’RE SEEING. you just got ready to go out? “send pics of your makeup and your full outfit”. you’re waiting in a long boring line to get the covid vaccine? “send pics of the line”. your mom baked cake? “send pics of the cake”. plus they send so many random pictures while texting, it’s their special love language
— having moon conjunct moon/venus in synastry feels insane. you tell them something you’ve been through, and they’re immediately like “that happened with me as well.” it doesn’t even have to be something grand, sometimes just very specific things you thought were particular about you. the amount of understanding that comes with this aspect in synastry can feel very new and intense especially if you’re used to seeing yourself as the “odd one out”, used to feeling isolated in your experiences 
— people with pluto in the 1st house often feel the need to erase “traces” of their existence, for example deleting messages that they sent people, deleting all of their social media posts. they can feel anxious and paranoid about other people having access to their past self, even if the past self in question is from, like. a week ago 
— people with chiron in the water houses (4th/8th/12th) might’ve suffered bullying to the point where they repress their memories. a lot of their memories of their school years may feel foggy if they were bullied in those years
— also. people with chiron in the 8th house may feel as though they’ve been punished for wanting to experience intimacy. it’s like, the people who were supposed to be the closest to them – for example, their sibling or something – were the ones who hurt them the most. 
— people with mercury-neptune aspects and strong pisces/neptune energy in their birth chart might struggle with only remembering things when they’re right in front of them. you should keep things in your peripheral vision to remind you of reality, especially when it comes to feelings— so that you won’t start getting lost inside your own head. like... keep the letters your friends wrote you by your bedside table so you can read them every time your brain starts convincing you that you’re not loved. keep the gifts you’ve been sent on display in your bedroom wall, or sentimental material things that remind you of past happy experiences.
— earth placements and their thing for asmr... omfg. it’s like they’re always looking for things to up their sensory experience/sensitivity. like, earth signs are the ones most connected to worldly experiences so they feel so soothed with the whole asmr experience: just hearing someone gently whispering or tapping on/scratching things calms them down and helps them fall asleep. they love the tingles it’s heaven for them
— moon-saturn aspects might hold and caress themselves while they sleep because their parents never did. yes i woke up and chose violence <3 your secret is NOT safe with me 💋
— while we’re on the topic of sleeping, a majority of the pisces moons i know need to sleep while hugging something, at least a pillow. they can’t just not hug something while they sleep, it’s very instinctive for them. anyways if any pisces moon needs a pillow to hold, i volunteer as tribute 💋
— virgo placements feel sososo soothed by hearing their cats purr. thinking about how my virgo placement friends are always the ones who send me videos of them petting their cats... and then i get soothed by how soothed they feel. it’s a win win situation, if you have virgo placements it’s hereby your duty to send me a video of you petting your cat while they purr. right now. GO
— people with gemini in the 3rd house might have shaky movements of the hands when other people look at them doing things. very specific i know but the third house rules hands and gemini is a sign that has somewhat of an anxious, twitchy quality to it. on the other hand, people with capricorn in the 3rd house (scorpio risings, using whole signs) have the steadiest hands i’ve ever seen lol their movements ooze confidence, these bitches know how to make you feel as thought they know exactly what they’re doing
— people with venus in the 1st house ft. altering their pics with photoshop and hating posting selfies without filters because they never feel like their appearance is good enough. stop it. you don’t need to always look your best and especially not if your ‘best’ isn’t even what you actually look like. also... don’t even think about making self-deprecative jokes about your appearance. next time i find one of yall saying “ahaha im not bad for a 5 without talent” i’m squishing your head between 2 pieces of toast and calling you an idiot sandwich. you’re BEAUTIFUL 
— having venus in the 3rd house in composite with someone? do you mean calling each other the absolute ugliest nicknames in the most endearing way? 
— leo deals with themes of the ego, and it seems that leo placements often struggle with attracting narcissistic people into their life... leo suns/mercuries can be raised by loud, overbearing, narcissistic parents who see their kid as an extension of themselves and who teach the kid to always be very supportive and caring towards them or else they’ll deny them of words of affirmation-- either by insulting them to shatter their self-esteem or simply never complimenting the kid back. leo moons/mars/venus tend to attract narcissistic partners who only care about serving their own emotional needs and ignore the ones of their partner, and who feed off of their supportive and giving nature. which is why leo placements really need to watch out for being gullible, naïve and dismissing the red flags because my god, you be falling for some shady people. 
— people with personal planets in the 12th house/chart ruler in the 12th house might feel like they can’t let go of their past life— they may dream of memories, people or places from another life. it’s like they can’t detach from it, and even if they can’t directly remember their past life, it’s like they feel it in their bones. also, they might’ve felt... estranged from their family ever since childhood; there may have been feelings of being unable to emotionally connect to their (often, distant) parents, and they might’ve even wondered if they were adopted because of how different they felt to the rest of the family. 
— okay so, a thing that people with saturn in the 3rd house need to look out for is mentally checking out of conversations while they’re still happening. these people can detect when they’re being manipulated really fast and their way of dealing with it can be to immediately shut down, to grow cold and silent and not even bother answering when you’re expected to respond. and, like, that’s great when someone starts screaming at you or being insulting/trying to coerce you into shit, but take notice if you find yourself shutting your loved ones out as soon as they say anything that triggers you. don’t simply detach from them, communicate what’s wrong
— aries placements, ESPECIALLY aries suns and moons, value generosity so much and they get so turned off by stingy ppl who don’t share with others, especially when others need it. like.. if you’re hanging out in a group with them and someone asks for a bite of your food because they have no money and you say no... espect them to never respect you. ever. 
— people with libra placements use soooo many adjectives to describe things. something can’t just be beautiful, it has to be DIVINE and CELESTIAL and INTOXICATING. they can be so expressive god it’s so fcking funny 
— capricorn placements HATE asking others for advice because they think no one knows better than them (and they’re not wrong, lol). when they truly care for someone, they might ask the person for advice simply as a sign that they respect, trust and value their judgement. even if they don’t plan on taking it LMFAO 
— people with mars in a water sign can have this terrible habit of expecting other people to guess what they want. and then they get passive agressive when you don’t instinctively feel what it is they want... and when you ask them “do you want this?”, they go like “FINALLY. i thought you’d never get there”. stop it. i know that you want people to understand you in a way that transcends words, but you can’t expect people to read your mind and then get disappointed when they don’t, thinking “oh if they loved me that much then they would’ve known that i really want chipotle for dinner :(” GIRL WHAT. COMMUNICATE YOUR NEEDS  
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Part Ten. Faces
warnings: swearing, hate comments word count: 4.1k (not including pics)
behind the screen (irl dream x f!reader) series masterlist ultimate masterlist
A/N: sorry its late!!!! this feels rushed but i was just too excited to get to some parts!!! also i have had some parts written out for SO long that they dont even feel cute to me anymore so im literally praying to every deity rn that you guys think its cute lmao anyway enjoy!!!!
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It had been about a week since Karl's slip up but everything was already more normal than Y/n had expected it to be. Of course, George, Sapnap and Quackity were all very understanding and gave her space while simultaneously reassuring her that she was safe with them. She fully believed it too, she knew she was safe with them and they weren't going to tell anyone her name.
The one unusual thing was now she had a heavy guilt, like someone dropped another sandbag in her stomach, every time Dream texted her. If the others knew, it was only fair that she tell him her name too, right? I mean, it's Dream. Dream! The boy who had quickly slipped his way into her life and, though she wouldn't admit it to Karl or Naomi, her heart.
But how? Does she just come right out and say it or wait until it gets brought up? She hadn't practiced telling anyone her name because she wasn't planning on doing it any time soon. Though, maybe she should have been seeing as she was going to see them all in person in a little over a month.
Regardless of the guilt, Y/n had other things to worry about today; Quackity was coming to visit. Karl had picked him up from the airport and the two of them spent all day catching up and doing who knows what but Y/n still hadn't met him. She was scared. She wasn't scared of Quackity, but scared because it was the first time one of her online friends would be able to put a face to her name and voice.
Y/n shuffled across her living room rug and reached for her phone on the coffee table, looking for some sort of distraction while she waited for them to arrive.
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Y/n rolled her eyes but smiled, shaking her head as she threw her phone on the couch. Okay, he's right. It's gonna be fine. It's gonna be great. It's just Quackity. If he said anything rude or annoying or anything she could literally just step on him like a bug.
A sharp knock on the front door of her apartment snapped her back into reality. She shook her limbs of nervousness as she made her way to the door, two familiar voices begging to be acknowledged from the other side.
"Let us iiinnn!! Y/nnn!!!!" Karl whined.
After countless times asking the same question, she finally convinced Karl that she was okay with him using her real name in front of Quackity. He clearly still felt guilty about telling the boys her name, asking her multiple times in different ways whether he should call her Y/n or Bugsy in front of the guest. She finally got it through his head that she didn't mind either way.
"Hold on!" she yelled back. She unlocked the door and swung it open to see Karl and Quackity. "So impatient."
"Holy shit, you are tall! Goddammit, I thought that was a joke!"
Y/n laughed shyly at the greeting, looking at Quackity like he was crazy. "Hello to you too. Tried to warn you, dude."
"Yeah but, damn! You're tall and attractive, what the hell?"
"Dude," she said with a warning in her voice. She thought the flirting on Twitter was funny, but in real life she got embarrassed easier and wasn't a fan. "I'm about to kick you out of my house before I even let you in."
This was weird, meeting Quackity before meeting some of her other friends. She loved Quackity, but she had known George much longer and Sapnap even before that. There was no problem with meeting Quackity, she just had no idea how to act since she felt like she hardly knew him.
"Am I allowed to tell people that you're hot?" he asked as he fell on her couch, Karl following right after.
"Quackity!" Y/n yelled, her face heating up at a compliment. "Seriously?"
Karl cackled and shoved Quackity. "Shut up, Alex! No, you're not allowed!"
"Sorry, is that compliment reserved for Dream?" He cackled at his own joke and Y/n's face heated up even more.
"I seriously will kick you out of my house."
"You wanna be flirty on main but not in real life?" Quackity scoffed.
"I'm not flirty on main, you are!" she laughed. "Seriously, don't."
"Okay, sorry, I'll stop," Quackity promised with a laugh in his words.
The three of them fell into easy conversation, mostly because Karl and Quackity were already comfortable around each other at this point. They eventually decided to go to the mall, just to mess around and do something.
*reminder: covid doesn't exist in this fic bc we only want happy things so ignore their masks :P*
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Y/n frowned as she unlocked her front door, staring at her phone. She had been so happy with all the fans freaking out about the meetup so she looked at the trending list, expecting to see a flood of keyboard smashes and happiness, but that's not all she ended up seeing. BUGKARLITY was trending, so she scrolled through the tweets and was upset to see not all of them were positive. In fact, when she typed her name in the search bar, lots of the tweets using her name were rather mean.
A few that stuck in her head called her an attention whore and said that her friends only flirted with her because she paid them too. Who on earth would even do that? Some hurt way more than others but she tried to push them aside. It wasn't like this was the first time she had seen comments like this, but they had only gotten worse since her Minecraft date with Dream. She was worried it was cause more hate for her friends and the last thing she wanted was to be the cause of their own hate.
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She typed several different messages to Dream, deleting them all after she reread them. She felt like she had to request the same thing from him in a different way. Maybe because she felt like his words meant more, even if he really was just joking like the rest of them. She decided to call him instead of texting.
"Hi!" he chirped happily from the other end.
"Hi, Dream," she said as her chest filled with something warm at the sound of his voice. "How are you doing?"
"Good," he dragged out the word. "How are you?"
"Okay."
"Just okay? What's up?"
"Um," she started, immediately forgetting the words she decided she'd use. "I just... would you mind, uh, not flirting with me so much on, like, Twitter and streams and stuff like that?"
There was a silence before Dream's frantically apologetic words came through. "Yes, of course, oh my gosh. I'm so sorry. If I had known I was making you uncomfortable, I wouldn't have—"
"Wait, no," she interrupted but he must not have heard.
"—said things like... oh gosh. Bug, I'm really sorry—"
"Dream!" she raised her voice, getting him to stop ranting. "You don't make me uncomfortable."
"Oh. Really?"
"Of course not. I actually think it's really..." Cute? Adorable? Endearing? "funny," she decided.
"Oh. Then why...?"
She sighed heavily and explained what she told the others. "So, yeah. I just don't want you guys getting hate because of me so I figure if you stop then... you know."
"Bug..." he said gently. "I'm really sorry. I promise you that I don't—none of us think those things about you."
"I know."
"No, seriously," he said, clearly not believing her. "You need to understand that I..." he paused. "I mean what I say. Always."
Always? she thought. There's a few things he's said that certainly he didn't really mean... like calling her cute?
"I don't joke around like that unless I want to. I wouldn't say things like I say to you unless I really, really, genuinely considered you a close friend and felt comfortable around you. And I do."
Her heart swelled. "Thanks, Dream. I just... maybe don't do it so much for right now? Online, at least," she clarified, not wanting to deprive herself completely of Dream's flirting.
"Yeah, if that's what you want, of course."
"Well, I don't want you to stop flirting with me but, yeah."
He chuckled. "Oh, you do like when I flirt with you?"
She hummed and changed the subject. "Did I interrupt you doing anything?"
"No," his teasing voice dropped and was back to his regular self. "I'm just editing the video we filmed the other day."
"Oh, the 'Minecraft, but you can't touch the floor'?" she asked.
"Yeah."
"Oh," she said, not meaning to sound disappointed. "I'll let you get back to it—"
"No. I mean, you can stay on the phone. Unless you're busy."
She smiled and put her phone on speaker and set it next to her foot on the floor. "I was just gonna paint. So I can stay."
Before she knew it, almost two hours had passed of them sitting in comfortable silence, occasionally speaking to share something with the other before going back to their tasks. It was comforting knowing she didn’t need to speak constantly and could just hang out with Dream.
Y/n's phone rested on the floor next to her, Dream on speakerphone on the other end, only the sounds of his keyboard clicking letting her know he hadn't fallen asleep or hung up. She wasn't sure when they started doing this, staying on the phone even when they had nothing to talk about, but they had done it a few times before. They had talked on the phone and Discord many times but it was usually always with purpose, not usually this silently-enjoying-each-others-presence nonsense. Who was she kidding calling it nonsense, she enjoyed it an embarrassingly insane amount.
She repositioned so she was laying on her stomach as she finished sketching an image that was in her mind.
"Hey, you still there?" Dream asked softly.
"Yeah. Sorry, am I taking away from your sitting in silence time with George?" she joked.
Dream chuckled lightly. "Nah, you're more fun. I was just seeing if you ditched me for Karl yet."
"Nah, you're more fun," she mimed truthfully. "But I'm very focused on this drawing."
"Can I see it when you're done?"
"Don't expect too much. It looks bad."
"If you don't tell me what it is, I can't know how accurate or inaccurate it is."
"Very true..." she trailed off, holding the canvas further away to examine it all at once. She wanted the sketch to be perfect before she made permanent choices with paint. She enjoyed the serenity they maintained even when talking, voices low and delicate like they were keeping secrets but not quite whispering. "Are you almost done editing your video from the other day?"
"Sorta. I'm at the part where you and Sapnap almost died laughing because a ghast knocked George into lava and then Sapnap laughed so hard he fell into lava."
She chuckled, remembering the situation vividly. "That was so funny. The way George screams is so funny."
"Let Naomi know that," he mumbled, causing Y/n to gasp.
"Dream!" she laughed loudly and he joined.
"Sorry, sorry, sorry. It's true though."
"Disgusting!"
A distant voice sounded on the other end and she assumed it was Sapnap. "What do you want for dinner?"
Dream responded with a soft, "Nothing, I'm good."
"Are you talking to Bugsy?"
He must have responded physically because the next sound was Sapnap's very clear, much more lively voice speaking directly into the phone. "Hi, Bugsy!"
"Hi, Sapnap!"
"Can you tell Dream to eat some damn food? This man literally hasn't eaten a single thing all goddamn day."
"Dream," Y/n scolded slowly. "Please eat."
"I'm not hungry."
"I'm not showing you my painting until you eat."
A door closed on the other end and she took that as a sign that Sapnap had left.
"I don't wanna see it anyway. It's probably trash."
"Take that back!" she gasped lightly. She looked at the canvas as she grabbed the first paint color and laughed. It was only a sketch and it was already trash. "Fine, then I won't go on the trip if you don't eat in the next ten minutes."
"That's punishing yourself too though."
"Who says I want to see you?" she asked.
"I never said anything about not seeing me being the punishment."
She had been caught. "It was implied."
"Sure it was."
"It's true though. Who says I wanna see your stupid face?"
He didn't say anything, but an incoming FaceTime call lit up Y/n's phone. A FaceTime call from him.
Her smile dropped. "Clay?"
"Answer it," his voice was lower and her heart started beating faster. Was he really about to show her his face to prove a point? Reveal his biggest secret that only a few close friends knew? To her of all people? She made sure she couldn't be seen in the small window and pressed accept, the voice call ending and the FaceTime call starting.
To her surprise, what came into view wasn't his face, but the logo of the hoodie he was wearing, the simple smile of his merch taunting her. She laughed, the anxiety slowly fading away as it was replaced with a heavy feeling in her stomach. Was she disappointed? Maybe a little, but he teased her into believing she would see him.
"Oh, wow! Dream face reveal! He looks just like his icon, no way!!!"
His chest moved up and down as he laughed, not moving the camera away. "You heard it here first, guys! You've known my face all along, the logo is actually my face!"
She laughed and returned to painting, not paying any more attention to her phone since he was now also showing his ceiling, a small corner of his monitor in frame but nothing else. "I mean it though, if you don't eat, I'm going to be so mad I won't even want to be friends anymore. Or you'll die from malnourishment before we get the chance to meet."
"I doubt it. I'm just not hungry."
"Whatever."
"Oh, hey, so you met Quackity today. How was it?"
"Very scary."
"Yeah?" he asked sympathetically, urging her to explain if she wanted.
"Yeah. But it turned out okay! He didn't act any different so it was fine. It was mostly just awkward. He's also so freaking loud. You would not believe how much louder he and Karl get when they're together."
"I can imagine. Aren't they doing a stream right now or something?"
"Yeah, I think so. I don't wanna watch though, I've had enough of them for the month."
Dream laughed. "How will you deal with them together for New Years'? It'll be for like two weeks."
"Who knows if I'll actually go?"
"Wait, what?" he asked abruptly, not even bothering to hide the disappointment in his voice. His keyboard stopped clicking and she could picture him staring at his phone as if looking at her. "Of course you're going."
"Not if you don't eat food! You have, like, 3 minutes to eat something until I officially am busy doing other things whenever the trip is."
Dream groaned and clicked a few things on his computer before the image on the screen became blurry as he walked through the house, still pointing it at the ceiling. She looked away again and kept painting.
"Quackity's really funny though," she continued. "It was super awkward at first but it was fun to have someone else to help me make fun of Karl."
"Wait, Bug," Dream called out over the sound of wrappers crinkling.
"Hm?" She hummed, continuing to paint.
"Bug," his voice was much softer and he sounded nervous.
She looked at her screen and dropped the paintbrush as she focused on what she saw, grabbing her phone and holding it closer to her face so she could see, still making sure she wasn't in view. All the anxiety from the beginning of the FaceTime suddenly came back and hit her like a truck. Sitting on her screen, waiting to be seen, was Dream. His hood was up, tufts of blonde hair sticking out, and he was standing with his back towards a dark room, the dim light from his pantry making his face just visible.
He held up a cookie in front of his actual, real face. "Are you watching?"
"Y-yea... I... Yeah. I'm watching. Is that really you?"
He nodded once before shoving the cookie in his mouth. "There, I consumed food," he announced, his voice muffled by the cookie. "Now you're legally obligated to come."
"I—What? CLAY! WHAT?"
"What?" he asked innocently as he chewed, walking back to his room and still holding the phone up to show his face. His room light was on, making his face much more visible. If Y/n thought he was attractive in the harsh pantry light, he must have looked like a god in his room lighting, even as pixelated as he was due to the quality of FaceTime. He fell on his bed and Y/n could only gape at his features. He slumped against his headboard, surrounded by roughly a thousand pillows, sporting a small, shy smile as he stared at the screen. "Bug, what?"
She opened her mouth but no words came out. Needless to say, he was unbelievably handsome. Part of the speechlessness was from the shock that he showed his face out of the blue, but obviously, the majority of it was that he was pretty much the most attractive person she'd ever seen. It should be illegal for someone to look that good in a hoodie, especially when pixelated.
"Hmm," he hummed thoughtfully. "Wanna take back what you said earlier?" He bit into another cookie.
"W-what did I say earlier?" Why was she stuttering???
"You said you don't wanna see me and that I'm ugly," he teased.
She paused for too many seconds too long before finally muttering, "you arrogant son of a bitch." He laughed loudly at that.
His eyes crinkled and he threw his head back. So that's what he looks like when he wheezes, she thought to herself, pretty.
Dream shuffled his position on his bed and rested his head on one of his hands. He looked so comfy. "Why are you so quiet, weirdo?" he mumbled.
She set her phone back down and touched her cheeks with her hands and looked away for a moment, grounding herself to the real world for a second. She couldn't process her thoughts when she was staring at a man as gorgeous as Clay. "I don't know, maybe because you gave me no warning before showing me your face? Or because you failed to mention that you're incredibly hot?"
She was so glad she had looked back at her phone or else she would have missed the glorious sight of his cheeks turning bright red before he turned the camera back to his ceiling. "Oh my gosh."
"Aw cute, I made you blush."
"Shut up," he mumbled. "You threatened to not come if I didn't eat something!"
"You didn't have to—you showed me your freaking face just to prove you ate a cookie!! DREAM! I would have believed you if you just said you ate something!" she laughed breathlessly, staring at the phone now for a chance to see him again. "I was joking anyway!"
"Sure you were."
"I was."
"Well, oh well. You deserved to see me anyway."
"Oh, I deserve to see you?" She laughed. "How big is your ego?"
"You know what I meant," he groaned. "You got doxxed by Karl and you met Quackity in person. And you've clearly had a bad day because of all the hate and stuff. You've done a lot of stressful things recently and you deserved to be let in on a secret too."
He was so sweet. Like, tooth-rotting, Halloween candy stash hidden under a kid's bed, upset tummy sweet. She also couldn't get over the fact that he was a million times cuter when he was shy like he was being now, his voice soft and unsure. It contrasted vastly with the confident, loud-mouthed Dream everyone usually saw, though she liked that Dream too. She wished he could show his face for just one more second to see what he looked like shy. Probably sickeningly adorable.
This was it, wasn't it? The chance she had been waiting for to tell him her name? He just let her in on his biggest secret, now he was the one deserving to be let in.
"Y/n," she said with a confident, but soft voice.
There was a long pause. "W-what?"
"Y/n."
He understood the second time immediately. "Y/n..." he tested, the smile in his voice clear as day. "I like it."
"Yeah, well, I guess you deserved to know the secret too."
"I would have been content never knowing."
"Really?" She didn't believe him. He seemed like the type to never be satisfied, always looking for something better. Not in a greedy way, but in a motivational, goal-oriented big achiever way.
"Really," he hummed. "I already feel like you're too good to be true so I wouldn't be surprised if you weren't a real person."
It was silent as she tried to collect her thoughts.
"Bug? You okay?"
"Yeah, I... it's just a lot."
"Sorry."
"No, it's not you. Well... I don't know. I just don't know what I'm supposed to say when you say things like that," she admitted.
He paused. "I think you always have the perfect responses when I say things like that."
"What do I usually say?" She smiled shyly, pulling her hoodie up to her lips.
"You usually call me a nerd or say you can't stand me. 'Oh my gosh I cannot stand you'," he mimicked before laughing.
"What? How is that the perfect response to you saying you can't believe I'm real?"
He hummed and she could practically hear him shrugging. "Because it's a classic Bug response. It's a hundred perfect you. So yeah, it's perfect."
She was silent, trying to compose herself before she exploded.
"By the way, check Twitter."
"Why, are you bragging about me calling you hot?" she teased, hoping to make him blush like she had earlier. It worked.
"Oh my gosh, no. Just look."
She clicked her home button and navigated to the app, her feed instantly flooding with the same similar messages.
"Oh, my gosh," she muttered, her fingers flying away as she typed out her own tweet in response to the love.
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Dream chuckled from the other end and when she asked him why, he vaguely said that George texted him but didn't explain further.
"Um, I have to go," she said mournfully. "Karl and Quackity are coming over again."
"Booooo," he pouted.
"Sorry, you aren't the only man in my life," she teased before instantly regretting her choice of words. Too flirty, Y/n, she thought to herself.
"Hm, shame. Am I at least at the top of the list?"
She bit her lips, wanting desperately to repeat what she had told him on their Minecraft date. In the end, she gave in. "I always mean what I say too," she started. "You're my main bitch, baby."
Dream made some sort of sound, a mix of a scoff and a whine but Y/n didn't comment on it, just glowing with heat in her cheeks.
"Leave before I don't let you," he said softly and the heat only grew.
"Goodnight, Dream," she pressed, the tone in her voice letting him know he was being a tease. "Thanks for... thanks for your tweet. And for everything you said earlier."
"Of course. Sorry that you have to see those kinds of things a lot."
"It's okay when I have people like you."
"People like me? What does that mean?"
"Just.... people like you." Cute, sweet, kind, genuine people who make her heart flutter.
She could hear his smile in his words and she figured he knew the unspoken words in her thoughts, the ones she was saying without saying. "Okay. Goodnight, Y/n."
"Goodnight."
**********
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bro your hcs are so funny the ringtones one cracked me up so you have any on the papa and ghouls social media ????
im SO glad you asked and thank you 
Papa I still doesn't know about cell phones and they're worried if they tell him he'll go into such a deep state of shock they'll have to put him down like a horse with a broken ankle. hes still coming to grips with the reality of phones as a concept. so dont even ask him
Papa II: Doesn't understand social media and doesn't really care to. III made him an instagram and he posts over filtered and blurry pictures he took at the club with captions that don't make sense. only follows models and comments weird shit but somehow his dms are stuff chock full of bitches.
Papa III: influencer. periodt. He runs a perfectly curated instagram, twitter, facebook page, snapchat, and tiktok. (he doesn't use tumblr anymore for obvious reasons (they took down the p*rn)) He has a closet in his house specifically dedicated to ring lights and stage mics. posts fit updates on his story, all his tweets are funny and a little bit tacky in the perfect humanizing and loveable old man way, he does tiktok dances that are lowkey thirst traps. posts pictures of girls hes with but only like their elbow or something like never their face. constantly checking his analytics. knows his audience.
Copia: Only does band related stuff on social media, except for the occasional personal tweet, which makes absolutely no sense. he's completely tone deaf. theyre all hilarious because theyre not supposed to be funny. im getting dril vibes from his twitter. accidentally leaks shit all the time because he doesnt know everyone can see what he posts
Swiss: Perfect on social media in the way that he doesnt post a lot to look sexy and mysterious. stage manager for the rest of the bands videos/posts because he doesnt want to be embarrassed by association if they're cringe. private accounts all around because his empty ass instagram is exclusive content
Rain: Doesn't post a lot anywhere because he doesn't have a lot to say but he's always on his instagram explore feed. only follows people he knows in real life. probably private account. sends an annoying amount of animal videos to the ghoul group chat.
Dew: i cant tell if hes total frat boy on social media or absolutely feral. all his pictures are either him standing w the boys in a row looking absolutely boring or he only ever posts videos of the most dangerous bat shit insane stuff they do. his tiktok is dedicated to what he can set on fire and get away with. every other video is obnoxiously filming and making fun of Aether. posts everyones private moments online because the people wanna see.
Aether: Regular and professional. tweets updates, guitar videos, the occasional funny moment. he blocks anyone who comments about dews videos. really just incredibly boring. thinks everyone has better things to do than sit on their phones all day, but it shuts them up, so can he really complain
Mountain: doesn't have social media and doesnt care. still watches vine compilations on youtube and thinks tiktok is a dumb waste of brain cells. has a facebook but he hasnt used it in ten years.
Cirrus: tiktok star. does all the dances and trends and makeup tutorials. Swiss films everything for her. instagram has a whole b&w artsy theme going on. ruthlessly judges everyone else's social media. always trendy and relevant and posts fun tour montages and vlogs. catches the best moments of everyone. really the place to be for peak ghoul content.
Cumulus: extremely regular posts, occasional selfie and group photo. follows a lot of serious news pages and reads scientific articles and always finds new recipes of shit to make for everyone or crafts to entertain rain with.
- Rosie, who will now use this time for shameless self promo of her instagram and twitter
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