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mysteriousl0ser · 10 hours

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FUCK IT, TADC EP 2 THOUGHTS MAJOR SPOILERS!! BE WARNED

LETS GO!! Pomni is still pretty screwed up over her first day here, I mean this is all fresh and new to her so like DUH. everyone else here is somewhat or entirely adjusted and kind of just cope with the fact that theyre here I dont think pomni has really processed how long theyve been here?? In the pilot she seems SO bothered by how okay they are with this and willingness to do caines fuckass adventures

i dont blame her, anywho pomni in her nightmare-induced state starts to abstract, she had to face an abstraction early on in her days here which like have to be pretty truamatizing (duh) and cried out to ANYONE, but where she called for help literally no one helped her “oh well” they though

Pomni doesn't feel like anybody else cares, shes the only one whos still going through an adjustment phase and freaking the fuck out while everyone else is just going along with the adventure, something she still thinks is kinda pointless and doesn't get why anybody would waste their time here doing when they COULD be looking for a way out, why is she the only one who seems to still be distressed here? To feel lost? At least from her perspective, it seems that way. Unfortunately, these people have already been here for a while.

Pomski then meets someone whos just like her, their whole reality was shattered and they don't belong anywhere, mirroring how pomni feels at the moment, even if she still has some sort of grip now vs when she first got here

And she finds comfort in that!!! Why is it that this NPC feels more real than the ACTUAL REAL PEOPLE trapped here with her??? Whatever the reason, its something to hold onto. Something to LATCH onto. Hes Real. or at least he feels real, and maybe she feels like she belongs with him because at least he knows the feeling, something shes not really felt w anyone else before

This comfort and solidarity she has with gumigoo is shortlived however as she gets brutally reminded that he wasnt real. The anchor she had vanished and there's quite literally nobody to catch her fall.

And i feel like ragatha trying to comfort her the way she did didnt help AT ALL. it was kinda a sore reminder that gumigoo is easily replaceable, and GOD thats so frustrating?? This thing felt so real to her and nobody seems to care that he just vanished!! If they could be so apathetic to this whos to say they wont just treat her demise just the same as she thought they would???

But then something important happens. They have a funeral for Kaufmo, someone whos been established to be their friend way before Pomni ever came here. And maybe it didn't ever settle in before that kaufmo was a real person! Literally!! And he was real to them. Just like gumigoo though less directly they relate to being in pain and kind of in shock of losing someone who they cared about and who was a real person to care about to them AND LIKE YOU CAN SEE WHERE IT CLICKS IN HER FACIAL EXPRESSION HERE, THE CHANGE IN HER EYES AND THE WAY HER EXPRESSION LOSENS AT THIS IDK IT DRIVES ME CRAZY GOD THE ANIMATORS WENT OFF W THIS EP VS THE PILOT IM IM IM

anyways anyways They have their funeral service, theres quite literally no reason for anyone to just lie and go along with whatever bs caines got going on, this also quite literally has nothing to do with him. This is kind of their own little way of keeping some sort of human traditions and respect for the human persons that get stuck here because they care. HELL you can even see pomni feel a little guilty here when ragatha says that his funeral was disrupted cause she arrived here

anyways thats exactly it!! They fucking car!! This whole time pomni thought that they just didnt care and were kind of apathetic or downright patronizing her over all this and mocking her or whatnot, like in her dream sequence. But no, they all talk respectively about their memories and experiences with kaufmo, the things they shared together and the feelings they had. EVERYBODY was grieving. Ragatha who always tried to put on some cheerful and kind of irritating (to pomni at least) everythings fine facade (which also kind of feels less real to her at least i think so but i don't think she figured it to be a coping mechanism) to just straight up start crying and breaking up a bit, even mentioning how this does not ever get any easier and how shes had to deal with this plenty of times before.

Zooble the usually apathetic and kind of asshole who keeps to themselves and gives off i don't care energy and probably gave off the impression that they didn't care about anyone here and just treated the people stuck here as an unfortunate fact and nothing more actually being vulnerable and probably doing the same as ragatha talking about their memories with kaufmo

Kingers ALWAYS kind of zoned out or not really taking anything seriously and just being there completely lost in space, but here hes grounded, and even earlier in the episode when ragatha needed it most he remained grounded then too (tho pomni didnt see that i just wanted to mention it). Just like the others he grieves and lives in the unfortunate moment

more of the kinger being grounded when the thought counts

GANGLE- dude even if its for just a moment she smiles here despite having her tragedy mask and like her whole shtick is being of whatever mood or emotion her mask is allegedly wether she wants to or not, but no here shes more than just that, she smiles for a bit when reminiscing her moments with kaufmo only to go back into crying, and man shes always crying with her tragedy mask but its beyond as far as anyone can tell wether or not its really her or just because of her mask, but here? its really her, no matter what the mask on her face shows!! shes genuinely smiling despite having her comedy mask and shes genuinely crying which is very blatantly obviously different to the usual mask cry etc etc

heres something about all this, it hits pomni in a way. These people ARE real, and they care. They care about her, they have nothing else but eachother and THATS something to latch onto. Thats something to hold her down, even if they just met pomni

SPEAKING OF JUST MEETING POMNI she literally expressed how she didnt wanna just LEAVE gumigoo there by himself because she believes no one should just be left there

the circus peeps just met pomni and just like how she felt a real connection to gumigoo in this digital hell she feels a sort of connection with these people too. Theyre gonna have her back all the same, maybe she wont feel so out of place and alone. BONUS THING!! The literal only times she genuinely smiles is when she feels this real connection to what feels real to her and has a genuine and sincere moment with these people whether it be an npc or a trapped member. Idk it just means something to me how significant both these moments are tipped off with a genuine smile a REAL SMIE!! (id add pictures but tumblr has a 30 image limit) OH ALSO BONUS BONUS THING THE DIFFERENCE IN OUTRO MUSIC IS SO IS SO ITS SO the outro song for the pilot kinda feels so ethereal and out of the moment at least to me it kinda feels like it you're slipping through the cracks and just, existing within yourself as the rest of the world around you kind of shatters into glass or melts into water or something i dont think ANY of that made any sense but its loud and its blaring and its so out of reach in a way, mad disassociation vibes but the outro song for the 2nd ep is a lot quieter yet its right there, at first it starts really small, lonely even. trapped by yourself but as the music gets louder and more instruments join in on the song it kind of has a comforting feel? bittersweet? even? its grounding ina way which is much different from how the first one felt at least to me lmao and the comforting feel kinda only emphasizes what I was talking about earlier- the comfort in having that anchor of reality with having a real moment with these people and making that connection yk? and like as i was saying at first the song starts off with just one instrument, at the start of the episode pomni feels utter alone and out of place even if these people here with here are stuck in the same situation as her, together alone. but as the other instruments join. in it kinda uplifts the song a bit, its not one sole instrument anymore like how in the end pomni feels that connection with everyone else, not so alone anymore idk jackshit about music theory so this is entirely a feelies talk instead of like- music lore? so don't take anything i say as like- idk some professional speak im just a nerd nerding about silly digital fixations ANYWAYS THATS ALL FOR NOW I AVE MORE TO SAY BUT THIS IS LONG ENOUGH LOL if you actually read all the way down this far thank you for listening!!! i really really appreciate it :]

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10yo-anon · 1 day

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⩠ LOVE LIKE YOU. ⩠

∞⊹🎧‧₊˚🖇️✩ ₊˚‧₊˚🖇️✩ ₊˚‧₊˚🖇️✩ ₊˚‧ 🎧⊹∞

ugh im too lazy to design and shit ugh. n e ways! heh..thats right.. nother fav song inspo 😈

btw, i tried to make reader as gender neutral as possible! sorry if it sounds more fem :( im trying to change up my writing style so both genders (n more) can read!

love like you. yes. the steven universe intro. now imagine

ps; i know they get info from the person they incarnated from's brians but lets ignore that and just think every not general memory erases!! ;3 also, superb ooc characters lmao also, 1768 words!

∞⊹🎧‧₊˚🖇️✩ ₊˚‧₊˚🖇️✩ ₊˚‧₊˚🖇️✩ ₊˚‧ 🎧⊹∞

⇱ Satoru Gojo ⇲

After Satoru saved you from curses, after he told you why you appeared so much different than the other curses you used to be with, after you found out you were only half a curse, and that you had human blood, you tried to change how to live, why you live, and even your mindset. and to your surprise, he was beside you all throughout the way.

You thank whoever god or goddess decided to bring Satoru into your life. he's been so patient with you. he understands. he understands how difficult it is for you to adapt on how to live life as a human. how to love a person, and now that you guys were "in love and now together for life" in his words, how to love him.

Now, here you are, staying still as he pampers you with love. this means kisses, hugs, cuddles, anything and everything. but you don't know what to do, you have things yet to learn.

"Satoru?" you whisper as he wraps his arms around your waist, pulling you as close to him, your back against his chest. he hums, letting you know he's focusing on you, not like he has anything more important than you to focus on.

"uhm— why are you clinging onto me?" he chuckles at your question and your face gets red in embarrassment. before you could take your words back, he tells you it's called "cuddling"

as much as you want him to explain to you what it exactly is, you simply not to make it look like you understand, he only smiles and continues what he's doing.

"im.. sorry." "huh?-" "sorry for not.. knowing these things. you know— kissing, loving.. uhm, cuddling. oh! and also-" he shuts you up by playfully putting a finger over your lips, in which you raise an eyebrow at in confusion.

"Baby, you don't have to apologize for not knowing these things. that's why i'm here, your prince charming, to help you know them." he whispers before kissing the top of your head, you silently nod, now blushing from his affection.

"...but you do know that I love you, right? I just don't know how to.. show it nor explain.." you add in, "I love you too, sweets. im also very thankful you try to show it." "really?" "mhm." "can you remove your finger now?" you ask. "..nah." ...oh.

⇱ Ryomen Sukuna. ⇲

If they ever tell your past self that you would be fated with a four-eyed, four-armed, curse, you'd be looking at them with pure disgust and confusion.

but that is, if it were the past.

here the both of you are, in a secluded beach, Sukuna silently sitting beside you, two arms holding you close, the other two on his side, keeping his body up.

The both of you sitting in silence, enjoying the warm feeling of the sun, the warm feeling of love, acting like he didn't get one on knee and propose to you. If it were any other person, he'd be somewhat nervous when they would rather stay silent after he just asked for them to marry him.

however, isn't just any person, it was you. He doesn't care about anybody. you being the only exception.

So he focuses all on you, memorizes your body language, how you talk, daily lifestyle, every. damn. thing.

so he knows. he knows that you aren't silent because you regret being bonded with him, or because you're contemplating your words, it was simply because the aura of your love was loud enough, and he stayed silent for the same reason.

it was simple to understand. A curse learning how to love, and a person experiencing true love for the first time.

He doesn't realize he's been stealing glances, and now, been obviously staring at you with his eyes, that is until his mind feels your loving gaze at him.

"Sukuna, are you shocked too?" he hums, every sound blurs, except your voice. "I don't mean it in a bad way... i hope you don't mean it in a bad way too." the pink haired curse scoffs, brows slightly furrowing.

"I wouldn't kneel for anyone. but I did. i knelt for you. how could you think of me like that?" You smile at his words. you know he doesn't mean it in an insulting way, just that he talks like that. "'Guess your taking back your words as love being worthless now, huh?" you tease, and he sighs, keeping silent. you only shrug and look away again, now looking at the continuous waves of water colliding with the sand.

There was a moment of silence once more, but there wasn't any negative energy in it. there never will be.

You hear him talk, before stopping and clearing his throat. that alone already made you look at him, again. if he thought he was overly nervous before, what he feels now would top what he had felt a few moments ago.

"I guess this is the time for me to speak up." he starts, attempting to keep his composure and not stutter. "I want to apologize. for being ass at communicating. I know that when we got together— five years ago 'till now, I only spoke my emotions maybe four times? five?"

Sukuna stops talking, now looking away, you notice he was anxious, so your hand finds one of his, and you give an encouraging squeeze that made him continue.

"Just know that i'm sorry for everything. and.. uhm. Thank you. For everything. I can't tell you everything im sorry and thankful for, if i do, we'll only stay here till the next era." You try to contain your chuckle, but it only fails, and he stares at you before carrying on with his small speech. "I don't know what to do. yet, you're still not leaving me. why?"

You lean on his side, and he stiffens for a moment. "Ryo, you have to stop making me sound flawless. I don't know what to do too, hell, if I'm being honest, I thought you would kill me. think about it. A plain human right next to the all mighty king of curses! it's unbelievable!" you exclaim, before lowering your voice.

"We're just the same, sukuna. You can't just change how I actually act. I don't know how to love, too. I don't voice out how I feel too." He swears he could see your pupils forming to a heart. maybe his already are.

"but if you want reassurance, You should know that I know you love me. Your actions tell me. Nobody would think you would make new private morals for one person. but you did."

You stop talking when he calls out your name. "yes, Sukuna?" He takes a deep breath before two of his hands cup your face. "I'll save the rest of my words for when we speak, I'll shorten it for you." you hum a small "mhm" and he continues.

"I love you. so fucking much." Though the both of you were all alone, he still whispers his words enough that only you could hear him. "I love you too."

Just two clueless but hopelessly in love souls.

⇱ Choso Kamo. ⇲

Having a half-curse, half-human, boyfriend was something that wasn't on your life bingo. but fate had plans. You were definitely not complaining.

Now that it's your anniversary, it's been a year since you got together. and it's obvious there'll be so much more years to come. Though Choso, oh sweet Choso, doesn't understand "love" it didn't stop him from feeling it. He had the spirit! if you were being honest, at times he just looks like a big lost dog following you around, the type to always show he loves you and loves being with you 24/7. you couldn't ask for anything more.

Choso had had always wanted to talk about his feelings for you, but always kept quiet as for the many times he talked to yuuji about love advice, he remembers his younger brother telling him to not rush and take things slow.

So he will. even if he wants to talk about how much he loves you and say the L word first, he doesn't know the appropriate time he should. and hell if he'd take his chance. what if you won't process to much information and get overwhelmed and leave him!? he doesn't want that to happen!

"Cho? are you still with me?" you laugh, nudging his chest which your back was leaning on as you pause the sappy rom-com the both of you were watching. He snaps back to reality and looks down, his purple eyes meeting your's.

"Yeah— I am, sorry." Your lover averts his gaze, his blush so obvious on his pale skin. "You sound like you want to tell me something," you murmur,

"..when is the right time for somebody to say 'I love you' to someone they love?" Your heart swells as you try to push your smile away, it was obvious he was talking about the both of you, but you continue to act oblivious.

"Oh? Well.. If I were that person, I would definitely speak up when I feel like my lover feels the same way— when they too want to tell me something you get it, rig—" "I love you." You feel him hide his now flushed face on the crook of your neck, your hand impulsively going up to pat your partner's hair.

"I love you too, Choso." you sigh, finally able to get the weight off of your shoulders and say your feelings. He calls your name out before murmuring a question against your skin.

".. you told me you would speak up when you feel like your lover feels the same way, when they love you.." he takes a breath. "..do you not..love me?" he closes his eyes, though you replied to his 'i love you' he can't help but feel tears pricking his eyes when he thinks of the worst between the two of you.

"Oh choso. I'm sorry. I don't mean it like that. I do feel like you love me just as much as I do to you. I didn't want to overwhelm you, so I thought the better choice was to wait for you to start.." you explain. "but if i'm being honest, I would've said I love you sooner or later if you didn't yet."

"..please never stop loving me. If anything, I'd want to be overwhelmed. overwhelmed with the fact you love me. It doesn't sound bad." He audibly sighs in relief and you smile. "I'll take note of that."

∞⊹🎧‧₊˚🖇️✩ ₊˚‧₊˚🖇️✩ ₊˚‧₊˚🖇️✩ ₊˚‧ 🎧⊹∞

sorry if they all sound the same and words r repeated! im practicing how to do this type of writing arg!

( @the-parasites-control-me i know you LOVE choso so i added him as a gifty gifty cause you gave me a gifty gifty!!)

also, this is only one of the ideas in my drafts where i just put the song name and the character, so im finishing em one by one, starting with my latest one! this randomly appeared in my mind while i was doing another wip i started t and i couldnt help it.. my mind cant choose so im switching tabs. like after i make one paragraph of this i go tot he other tab to make another paragraph of a different wip.. arg! just a lil quick drabble to finish this wip. oh no, im ranting.

also hear me out. i wanna be your boyfriend (the SONG) played while i was writing this so.. Hopelessly inlove jjk character x oblivious reader 🤔 ugh. finished one draft but now i have a new one. EUGH

#jjk x reader #jjk x y/n #jjk x you #gojo satoru x reader #gojo x reader #satoru x reader #gojo satoru #satoru gojo x reader #satoru gojo #sukuna #sukuna x reader #choso #choso x reader #gojo fluff #sukuna fluff #choso fluff #fluff #☆— 【 fanfiction !! 】

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suffarustuffaru · 1 day

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Looking at your past art has me really loving your drag king Natsumi, do you have any more thoughts on them? I'd love to hear them. Also just your genderbend ideas in general. They are very interesting!

for future reference, here is where i drew some drag king natsumi + sapphic ottosuba :) i definitely plan on making more genderbend au content in the future thats for sure! :o i have another older art post on this here also (i am. too lazy to find it rn but its there somewhere!!) but i have some in depth thoughts about fembaru for sure yes :3 ty for finding my genderbend ideas interesting!! :D !! id be happy to talk about them more :o

im gonna start with outward design stuff / gender presentation first!! :D bc in my head, afab subaru probably looks almost exactly the same. in general, canon subaru’s most likely at least a little androgynous (and i think he probably is judging off of how much he passes as the opposite sex!!), and we know hes got his dad’s spiky black hair and his mom’s mean eyes and general facial shape, has a long torso, that sort of thing, so i think afab subaru would look similar :o

plus i like to treat fembaru as basically just the mirror/foil/inverse of canon amab subaru anyway, so yep natsumi schwartz is gonna be her male persona!! canon amab subaru was mistaken as a girl when he was a child, and he also went to high school (iirc it was high school but at the very least he was about the same age he is during arc 1) for three days as natsumi yes and passed for three days. iirc he would put on the girl’s uniform and wig and stuff on the way to school and out of his parents’ view and then put on the male uniform and take off the wig before he got home!! plus you know he’d generally practice makeup most likely and wig styling and all sorts of things in private.

so definitely afab subaru is doing similar stuff but in the opposite direction now—looking more masc and presenting as a boy. while amab subaru can put on and take off a wig, in my head, afab subaru would probably have to have shorter hair. so one day she just got a haircut thats short enough to where she could style it masculinely but longer enough to where it could still be kinda considered feminine enough!!

im not 100% sure how to draw her hair yet but in my earlier post and a few of my sketches it kinda looks like either a long mullet/wolfcut or a messy bob :3 i think you could probably say that her hair looks more like a wacky bob when shes more feminine and a wolfcut when shes styling it more masculinely?

(^^ my take on fem wrathbaru is here also LMAO)

i also base my fembaru design off of canon natsumi!! with the side bang (though i sometimes draw it on the wrong side akdnd)!! meanwhile fembaru’s male natsumi would have canon amab subaru’s hair :) (which you can see in my earlier post as well!!)

(i like this illustration actually <3)

i also like to hc that on top of subaru wanting to look and act more like his dad in canon, he did also kinda want to resemble his mom when hes presenting more femininely :o also for genderbend aus it depends on whether you ONLY want to genderbend subaru or if you wanna genderbend everyone along with subaru too, that sort of thing. i like to play with both possibilities :o

but in general, i like the idea of subaru either way trying to honor both her mom and dad. maybe to subaru her mom is what an ideal woman should be perhaps, and her dad is the ideal man, bc subarus parents are her biggest role models, so she tries to emulate both at different points in her life. she tries to be the perfect soft sweet girl like her mom and it doesnt work. she leans into being a bit of a delinquent and it doesnt work. then she cuts her hair and learns to present more masculinely and tries to copy her dad only to fail again. :((( then she gets isekaied……

i feel like afab subaru might get a bit more shit for getting into trouble too :(( or for being too loud. shes not very traditionally ladylike, i think!! boys will be boys and of course your daughter takes after you, kenichi, but dont you think shes a little too rough around the edges now?

anyway otherwise in general, i also like the idea that over the course of each arc in the fantasy world, subaru grows her hair out!! and once its long enough she can put it into a ponytail like her mom again :,)))

(male rem is here too <3)

also i like to give fembaru the maid dress instead of the butler outfit!!! probably not with the garter and stuff but 😭😭 its a pretty dress and fembaru should get to express herself both masculinely and femininely :3 in my head, i think subaru would be shy bc AGHH THIS DRESS IS SO REVEALING THERES NO WAY ID LOOK GOOD IN THIS IM NOT PRETTY AT ALL and rem and ram (genderbent or not) are probably like nonsense just try the dress. its your uniform to work here. and subaru does and huhhhh. maybe i dont look half bad ? :,) (bc of course subaru’s insecurities either present themselves the same or slightly different when genderbended). and of course when rem and ram warm up to subaru eventually ram can be like “you dont look as bad as i thought youd look” or something and rem can be like “subaru-kun youre very beautiful anyways!!!! <3”

and also i do think subaru would cut her hair a bit again or style it different for natsumi adventures later in arc 7 <3 just to have that symmetry again. the situation probably might go a little different but yep this is how id handle it 👍

and of course you can give subaru the canon natsumi hair bow sometimes when shes feeling fancy :3

OKAY and now im gonna talk about more character stuff!! lets talk about subarus whole thing with isekai and genre savviness and all that.

one of canon subaru’s many many Many parts making him up as a character and making up his story in general is a deconstruction of the isekai genre!! power fantasy and characters being cardboard cutouts for the male mc to triumph without a struggle—that sort of thing. but afab subaru is a female lead now, and female isekai is different.

id have to do way more research into this and watch more female isekai and shoujo and stuff (ive been Really wanting to watch im in love with the villainess…… someday i will…..). buuut from what ive noticed so far it seems like for male lead isekai the fantasy here is the Power and Prestige, but female lead isekai’s fantasy seems to be the Romance!! not that you cant have OP abilities in female lead isekais and not that every isekai is 100% the same of course. but that seems to be the common tropes from what ive seen so far? male isekai protags have girls throwing themselves at him as trophies, female lead isekais have their male romantic interests and the evil evil villainesses are defeated somehow and perfectly out of the way <3 the fantasy is that youll be loved by The One—the perfect boy(s) <3

and i think amab subaru is less likely to check out much female lead isekai but i think itd be fun if afab subaru would probably focus on female lead isekai but also a bit on male lead isekai as well!! she wants that absolute path to glory AND love. (and ahahhahahaha please ignore the gazillion ikemen anime figurines in her room hahahahahhahhahahahah AND DEFINITELY IGNORE THE SILVER HAIRED ONES. ESPECIALLY THE ONLY GIRL FIGURINE SHE HAS THATS BEEN GATHERING DUST UNDER HER BED—)

but also bc i think amab subarus more likely to go nah i wont look at girly media while maybe afab subarus like godddddddd i want instant OP abilitiessssssssssss and godddddddd i want hot girls around m—WHAT. WHAT. WHO SAID THAT WHO SAID THAT—

anyway so subaru gets isekaied and shes like SWEEETTT A NEW BEGINNING AWAY FROM NOT BEING ABLE TO MEET EXPECTATIONS HAHAHAHAHA IM THE ISEKAI PROTAG!!! THIS IS AWESOME!!! (is about to get her shit rocked). and shes like ooooh do i have any abilities (nope) and oooohhhhhh shit do i have a villainess. AM I THE VILLAINESS???? no way right. anyway lol wheres the ikemen who’ll ill marry one day. the ikemen that falls in love….. with a commoner……… like myself teehee… and they get married…… and the villainess is CONQUERED….

anyway so what im saying is. ………….fembaru is a femcel. AND a pick me. AND a disaster bisexual. you could practically imagine a vine boom after each of those.

i think the biggest most important to me with genderbend aus is keeping the humanity of the characters the same the best i can!! and fembaru is STILL subaru, of course shes fucking cringe!! of course shes got a heart of gold but its under layers of cringe!!! of course shes a nerd who doesnt have any friends at first and trips and stumbles through all the shit being thrown her way!!

also if male subaru is bi then so is fem subaru okay. we’re equal opportunity here. and also amab subaru has issues with his masculinity and uhhhh slight things with women (see: his boob comments in season 1…….. subaru i love you but cmon man). so. afab subaru i think has got a terrible case of internalized misogyny / homophobia / PROBABLY SOME COMPHET TOO LMFAO 😭😭

i think general plot beats (whether its only genderbending subaru or genderbending everyone) goes mostly the same but again, slight differences. im gonna go with only subaru being genderbent atm bc thatd have more differences i think :o

yes ok so subaru’s gonna see reinhard and go GASPPP oh my god. pretty ikemen. ohhhhhh oughhhhh hes so pretty. hes clearly main lead material… ohhhh what do i do ive never talked to people in so long and hes so PRETTY FUUUCKKKKK BUT I DONT WANNA BOTHER HIM EITHER AND PUT HIM IN DANGER. um um um um mmumimimm HE CLOSED THE DISTANCE BETWEEN US TOO???? what the hell what the fuck what the fuck shit shit um think THINK SUBARU THINK YOU HAVE CHARM RIGHT?? YOU CAN DO THIS. YOU CAN CHARM A HOT GUY. ARGGHHH— *explodes*

but also subaru sees emilia and gets that “do i wanna be her or be with her” feeling 😭😭 bc emilias so….. cute…. pretty… and NICE TOO?? WITH A FUN PERSONALITY??? SHIT SHES GOT EVERYTHING!! she went out of her way to save me 🥺🥺 and im just dragging her down 😔😔 BUT FUCKKKK I HATEEEE HOW GOOD SHE IS. and then :,)))) theyre both dying in the warehouse… and the first time subaru feels the touch of another girl in a more intimate light is her and emilia holding hands as they die…………….

SO YEAH THEN SUBARU RBDS :,,)))) so like. do you get what im saying. emisuba and remsuba and satella are subaru’s first sapphic heartbreaks and heartaches. muahahaha!!!! insert more evil laughter here!!!! bc since subarus a girl her relationships with emisuba and remsuba are definitely gonna be perceived (both by other people and rem emilia subaru) more so as friendships first and foremost.

so….. subarus getting the codependent homoerotic teenage friendship bright and early HAH. but i cannot blame her!! i too would go insane if i was put in a new unfamiliar world and i met this cute girl i was both jealous of and a little into and then we both died and the last thing i felt was searing pain and her soft fingertips!!! i too would go insane if i thought this maid was my friend but then she tortured me and—and—

but yeah you know how amab subaru has his whole weird complex bromances with reinhard and julius and otto?? now itll be like that but with emilia (the julius and reinhard…) and rem (the otto….). emilias the girl subaru’s having “do i wanna be her or be with her” weird rivalry shit with (subaru’s internalized misogyny probably also adding to this bc Obviously theyre rivals) and rem’s the girl who brutally betrays subaru personally (worlds worst homoerotic teenage friendship breakup of all time 😭😭) but then she later becomes subaru’s loyal best friend???? crazy shit.

and like emilia and rem are totaaally villainesses in subaru’s way (except emilias sweet af and misjudged by the entire world and subaru doesnt have the heart to fight rem and also shes chugging copium and trying not to think about failed loops. or about her gay feelings). toxic yuri is toxic yuri-ing. subaru doesnt wanna be explicit about it….. emilia isnt sure of her feelings other than stuff like caring a lot abt subaru… and rem is. Rem. so theyre all in gay situationship limbo HAH.

also as an afab person too rip subaru for also having periods while the whole world is ending on repeat 😭😭 LMFAOO. im sure theres medieval fantasy remedies though (and rem is 1000% spoiling subaru on her period)

also no one can tell me that echidna and rem WOULDNT still be into subaru as much as they are in canon. subaru regardless of gender fascinates echidna and her greed. subaru regardless of gender is someone rem will grow very very attached to. and if anything, rem would get way more bold with afab subaru.

bc the thing with female relationships is that i feel like theres a higher level of intimacy that you gotta go to for it to be considered more romantic or homoerotic. with guys it could be like holding hands and other people might be like WOAH THATS GAY, but if girls do the same thing its like aww youre such good friends. i think rem would take advantage of her and subaru being the same sex and she’d probably keep trying like “hey um um wanna cuddle together?? in the same bed?? and bathe together teehee?? i can help do your hair and dress you up? and make lots of cute dresses for you ? :) <3 🥰 and i can even massage your bo—I MEAN YOUR BACK. YOUR BACK!!” or it’ll be like. rem gets a little too happy that her and subaru’s periods get synced up or something 😭😭 shes Not Normal (and unfortunately subarus probably a little too into that)

also unfortunately the other time a girl touched subaru intimately was satella squeezing her heart :(((( and hahahah between that and rem and emilia and later echidna…. ohhhh poor subaru and her terrible toxic yuri 😭😭 her sapphic experiences and experiences with women have not been 1000% great.

but also of course subaru is so very not normal. you have the canon typical “lol every memory is a good one <3 even rem torturing me teehee <33” and also i just think itd be funny if you as an audience is lead to believe subarus jealous of emilia and rem’s boob sizes and no. no shes just gay. shes GAY.

and stuff like everything going on with julius and otto gets recharacterized too. bc subarus a girl and the guys are guys its probably gonna get perceived more both in and out of universe in a more. Quite Literally Straightforward light. esp bc subaru’s still gonna be into reinhard and julius lbr HAH.

i want arc 3 to still be an absolute fucking disaster with fembaru. let fembaru be flawed and ugly!!!! so in my au thoughts here itd be like. subaru feels jealous and threatened by lots of people. emilia, though its subsided a bit after becoming friends and after learning a bit more abt emilia as a person. but also i think subaru could feel so so jealous of the royal candidates!! esp crusch priscilla anastasia even though subaru will 1000% think theyre bitches at first during arc 3. bc theyre such strong determined women who seem way more confident than subaru herself is…. and also im sure there’ll be complex thoughts from her on felix too bc crossdressing… gender presentation… is a complex thing for subaru.

and subaru with julius is like. “get away from emilia!!!! shes mine!!! shes MY best friend that im homoerotically codependent on and obsessive of!!!! and also youre just trying to steal reinhard’s ikemen male lead spot huh!!!!! bastard!!!! (i hate that youre so pretty too)” and everything of course blows up in subaru’s face. im sure at some point in the story subaru might get slutshamed for having all these connections to people and romantic threads (especially since shes afab) but also its like. wow shes such a stupid girl lol causing a racket.

and uh being a man beating up a girl looks a little worse due to gender roles and stuff but lot of the knights are still gonna want to go after subaru and julius is still gonna want to save subaru. :,,)))) arc 3 emisuba breakup….. worlds worst sapphic breakup of all time…. and later rem will be the one that got away also :(((((

but yeah i think in general this subaru’s connections would be a little more. subtexty with the girls bc she’d be more hesitant to be explicit. but a bit more explicit with the guys bc itll be easily perceived as romantic in and out of universe. and of course subaru i think will be flustered in different ways between the girls vs guys—with the girls its OHH GOD I CANT BE GAY I CANT BE GAY NOOOOO I HAVE A RIVALRY!!! IM SO JEALOUS OF THEM!! BUT. BUT I LIKE THEM!! OHH GOD. with the guys its OH NO. GOOD LOOKING GUYS???? FML. FML!!!!! WHERES MY MAIN CHARACTER CHARM??? HOW DO I TALK TO GUYS???? JULIUS STOP MAKING FUNNOF ME!!! >:(((

also brief note on otto bc things are probably gonna go different here qkdnd. like i definitely am of course of the opinion that otto fell in love with subaru. in every damn arc in every damn main route otto side content hes getting unhinged over subaru in a way that i think makes a little less sense if you dont view it as otto just Not Being Normal About Subaru in a perhaps vaguely homoerotic way.

but subarus afab now!! and ottos still a guy!!! and reinhard and julius are friendly with subaru right, but at around arc 4 things they dont show explicit romantic interest. (i think arc 5-6+ julisuba and juliemisuba would be 👀👀👀 though.) but otto?? in a universe where subaru is a girl??? well now its more acceptable for him to be grow openly head over heels for subaru. but also its probably also more pathetic bc now its probably gonna be more obviously taken as otto having a crush on subaru.

and subarus had her arc 3 development right. but here its like. you wanted a male character who’d fall in love with you and be loyal to you and do Anything for you???? here you go!!! but also given otto is Like That and gets worse by arc 7-8 i think hes gonna seem a bit more sinister. not that canon otto with canon subaru isnt sinister but theres different connotations to male otto paired with female subaru. bc it sort of follows straight dark romance rules, right, with the cunning possessive male love interest and the female protagonist…

i doubt anything explicit would go on between otto and subaru in an au like this bc 1. otto and his avoidant attachment LMFAO and 2. subaru and her issues also and 3. subaru in main route is Not as into otto to the same extent or degree otto is HAH.

and fembarus probably like. i think itd be funny if she was a little disappointed otto wasnt a girl 😭😭😭 but then later hes weird about crossdressing and shes like why dont you wanna do it huh 👁👁👁👁 why are you weird about it 👁👁👁👁 im staring at your glass closet right now—

and also its like. “WHY ARE YOU THE FIRST BOY TO ACTUALLY BE IN LOVE WITH ME WHAT???” which i think is hilarious but i also think it could be fascinating in terms of playing with gender!! bc otto may want to be in control of things, but hes also so subservient to subaru anyway. otto and subaru are both androgynous; otto can pass as a girl and subaru can pass as a boy. if you wanna simplify things further you could also explain this as—otto is a man who looks like a woman who’s pledged his servitude to a woman who looks like a man. very intriguing imo!!

but of course ottosuba power dynamics are Always shifting over and over like a game of tug of war, but the most common thing is that otto will bow his head to subaru but under the surface ottos trying to be in charge. that sort of thing!! and the idea of male otto servicing female subaru is an idea rezero ao3 seems to like also but :,) lets just say its not fully to my taste haha :,,))

and otto is definitely not gonna beat up subaru’s ass so easily this time around bc itd look so bad and he’d know that lmfao 😭😭

but i think theres a lot of potential to play around with gender roles and such with all of these dynamics!! im very passionate about making my genderbend au ideas as wild and layered as possible :o !!

this is all my main ideas atm (and id love to draw stuff like more drag king natsumi or fem reinsuba :) ) but yes i hope this all makes sense :D !! thanks for reading this far and thanks for the ask!!

#rezero #re:zero #natsuki subaru #uhh should i tag the others….. i guess so #reinhard van astrea #julius juukulius #emilia #rem #otto suwen #ask #gender au #genderbend #save for later #i need to write or draw more stuff on this eventually :<<

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lesbicosmos · 5 months

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sometimes i just sit and laugh to myself at the irony of the fact my first ever fictional crush when i was little was luke smith from the sarah jane adventures

because a. he's gay

and b. im a lesbian

#honestly i think i just grew attached to him because hes so me #5 year old me saw an awkward autistic coded character and was just like 'that one #i want that one'#and honestly rewatching now (and im actually older than the characters for most of the show now wtf)#im feeling exactly the same way hes SO me #(hes basically an alien)#sja #doctor who #the sarah jane adventures #sarah jane smith #luke smith #sarahs random thoughts

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theoldkyokodied · 1 year

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Uploading all my Tomgreg art at once from the past few week before season 4 hits, who knows in what kind of mental state i'm gonna be once it does :')

#tomgreg #succession #dont even talk to me i started watching this show when i had nothing to do at work and now i watch it with averiel my good friend averiel #and we are going to watch s4 together and i feel physically ill from bein so excited #so ya thats what ive been up to... anyway. i love these idiots they desever nothing but the worst (affectionate)#im also a tomshiv lover btw. im the one who yells 'THIS IS HOW TOMSHIV CAN STILL WIN' while they are actively losing on screen #thats the kind of person i am #dont look at me (lying on the floor)#okay i was not going to say stuff in the tags and let the art speak for itself but i NEED to point out details in the wine Painting..#i put a lot of work into that one. thinly veiled metaphors and symbolism yknow..#greg is gripping the stem of the wine glass with his full fist. tom and greg are dressed in the same outfit (sock garters included)#greg look appalled but he is not doing anything about the spill. tom is fondly pouring greg more and more wine. he is doing him a favor #i colored the red wine the same way i would color blood :) oh and tom is not really touching greg #only holding the chair in place. greg is making himself look smaller than he is like usual #oh and @ the person who said that it's the inverse of the tom and nate scene i love the way you think. i did not think of that before #but god. yeah. i actually thought about the scene change from when roman uhh.. christens his office in s1. the one with the coffee machine #i always go insane at that cut. this is not exactly the same since it's more.. about emotions but yknow.. it can be.. the same...

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luck-of-the-drawings · 2 months

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OH ARTHUR BENNETT.. such a gorgeous and intriguing character. terribly burdened by a GRUESOME set of crimes, his light suffocated by a HEAVY century of GUILT. so tragic, so dark and broody, and yet PAINFULLY awkward in any social setting ever

#jrwi fanart #cw blood #jrwi show #jrwi suckening #arthur bennett #OUHH THIS ONE WAS SITTING IN MY WIPS FOR SO LOOOONGwhen i took it out there was mould on it :sob:#BUT i think i was able to fix it up okay #i keep seeing SO MANY MISTAKES RRAAAHHH BUT YOU DONT SEE THEM RIGHT?? THATS ONLY ME. RIGHT?? EXACTLY.#THE KEY IS TO SAY. AND REPEAT AFTER ME. 'FUUUCK IT WE BALL #so anyway. arthur bennett huh? grizzly says that arthur is reaal fuckin difficult to play. and i SUPER get that. i mean LOOK AT HIM..#grizz often needs a minute to think abt what hes gonna say in a way that matches w that Stoic Personality. which is FAIR but also that #ends up making way for awkward confrontations like: the lady in the parky lot. he took too long to answer and scared her away.& I LOVE THAT #arthur is tragic and sad and cool and stoic but hes ALSO awkward and silly and kinda dumb and short sighted. HE HAS COMPLEXITIES #I LOVE WHEN TTRPG CHARACTERS HAVE A GOOD SET OF SHORTCOMINGS. ESPECIALLY WHEN U FIND THEM ONLY AS U PLAY THEM.#I COULd go on and on saying the same things w different words abt arthurs intriguing and entertaining character but i shall spare u. for no #ILL ALSO MENTION HOW MUCH I LOVE HIS FLAVOR THO.. I LOVE TALL HOT BOY WHOS ONE W THE DARKNESS.. I REMEMBER WHEN HE FIRST MENTIONED THE #BADLUCK. N I WAS LIKE OOOHH THATS WHY HIS DESIGN IS SO COOL N CHAOTIC N ASYMMETRICAL. HES UNLUCKY!!! i love love love his design so much...#GRaaauruguguraguhhghghgh what else what else is there for me to spew on abt...i think im reachin a limit here..OH MAGNUS. i hope that #we get to know more abt how magnus and arthur met.. like How they became besties... ouuhh... I ALSO WANNA KNOW MORE ABT MARY DAVIS. LIKEHOW #he also apparently spent alotta time in a zone dominated by edward twilight? all he remembers is constant partying? I WANNA KNOW MORE..#i think i got room 4 one more ramble SO. THE ART PIECE.as i said its gone a lil stale BUT. im still very proud o the bits where hes allScar #I WANNA SEE HIM GET SCARYMORE. I like the idea of shadows solidifying to make him strange and eerie.like TEETH n CLAWS n SPINES n YESS #also the SILVER EYES.no1 does silver eyes like the show Claymore. they make em look so striking and eerie...i also like to think that #human arthur had deep beautiful brown eyes.just in my beaitufl heart.i mean look at him..i wanna cook him n eat him.ANYWAY #i think thats all my ramblin for this piece. now i gotta go cancel a single day i had ata hotel bc my work schedule change last minute FUCK #feel free to ramble in my tags aswell tho i read all of them and i chew on thenm and i love them so sos os mcuh

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alsojnpie · 2 months

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hey. um. i love him

#O_O i really love him #it's getting warmer every day and i can't draw him in a sweater for much longer #by the way. is this site going to. yknow. die #sigh........i kept telling myself I'd get better at it one day #kind of like the way i tell myself i can get together courage to speak up but i never do #using another website just sounds so depressing #im not good at social media. im tired of pretending like i can get good at it #but you can't even pretend like you can jump into a conversation if no one is having a conversation #i wanted to be part of a community here but i never could figure out what belonging looked like or how i could do it #and maybe it's my fundamental misunderstanding of that that prevents it but how can i understand it without experience #I'm so jealous of everyone who looks like they achieved what i couldn't even put my finger on. but since i didn't even understand it #i can't even be sure what exactly im jealous of #the other day i walked past a trio of friends and they had their arms around each other and were laughing as they walked #and i felt really strongly that even though I've always wanted a friend like that I'm actually fundamentally incompatible with that.#there's several reasons #but it made me feel really sad. but it made me feel a little better too. i guess it's really not my fault. maybe. i don't really know #in that moment it felt very much like something that was not my fault. and it was nice and sad at the same time #idk what's going to happen here. but one thing i know for sure is that i can have a happy tomorrow. no matter what #no matter what i have to give up on. i can find joy in other things. even in myself #and if there's one idea that he is about. it's that one

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simplydnp · 4 months

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Stop im rewatching why dan is leaving me bc of ur post theyre so disgustingly domestic i adore them

sometimes i watch that video just to feel something

#you are so valid for that anon #theres something about the energy of that video that really gets to me #theyre filming cause its promo and its good clickbait and its silly and fun and Them #but its also For Them yknow?? theyre like we're gonna talk about how we're gonna be apart for the longest time since we've known each other #AFTER 13 years of knowing each other #just even framing it like that really is wild. but its exactly what happens. and they're both on the same page of yeah its a long time.#which. it isnt That Long but it IS for them yknow!#the silly intro phil does in front of Dan's closet. and it starts with dan going oi if you're crying about me it better be a long video!#its goofy and ridiculous. theyre in this bouncy happy uncertain mood. because theres gotta be some adrenaline with it but also appreciating #each other while theyre still there together. then its the complete lack of intro to dan bc come on now its dan you know him. obviously.#& then its the 'sphere' convo and im like bitch. he wants to touch you cause youre leaving!!! let him!!#then dans genuine shock at the swear like mans is down BAD. and then the teasing! the so real plant teasing. but also general life concern #the heart cactus makes me feel some type of way okay #the sheer domesticity of the stair convo and the ps4 struggle #and how phil turns it right back on dan with the selfie incident and dan is bashful about it.#and how phil just. gets to say that dan cant shower in the bus. bc it freaks him out. & ofc dan wont stress him like that.#(also the closet rifling. something dan's 'nice to know you do. in a dark drawer somewhere' vs the lacey shirt being lacey underwear idea)#the bathroom being very clearly a shared space.#goddd theyre sooo smiley and soft and i Cant #dnp #c.text #dan and phil

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enhanced-operatives-division · 1 month

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i would love to hear about the ollie and handler crack ship here’s a silly doodle as well

LOVE THE DOODLE YOU SEE THE VISION!!!

Also this got my ass to design Ollie so:

(Love him - Also redesigned Reggie for this too so thanks!!)

And idk if it's moreso a crackship or a rarepair that only works in an AU (HACKS up Starstruck), but Reggie's line of "...and I hope Ollie made it out too. I hope a lot of things." It's totally me reading into it but like,,,,I want them to talk because Ollie is not dead to me in my heart of hearts.

Maybe the only change is like Reggie taps into the communication on the radio in Hot Water instead of using the earpiece, so Ollie ends up hearing him also? And they end up getting along really well (with Reggie having to jump through a couple hoops to be like "haha what agency..."). There's an Agency base in the South-East coast of Australia and maybe the Agency ends up adopting him after he washes up on the shore with the escape pod (after HEAVY questioning).

Alas take a doodle of my own:

Transcript (it's just canon lines):

Ollie: "She's being controlled, it's not her fault."

Reggie: "Agent, I have 0 experience dealing with giant security squids."

#idk i know realistically JJ and Reggie will probably never interact so like this is the one I can root for right?#<- ollie is probably still at the bottom of the ocean #alas. i think they could be silly together. because like. idk. they have the same vibe to me #i feel like they would have a GREAT TIME at a barbeque actually #i digress #in terms of the art though!!! Ollie!!!!!!!!n #I've never drawn dreads before shdjdkf i had to redraw the hair on that first one genuinely about 6 times #idk it came from like. if he's been underwater for a long time dread would prolly be somewhat convinent in terms of hairstyles #also we don't talk abt how ollie probably knew fabby because it's implied she was working down there????#tbh she probably hated himshsjekdld he would be clueless #and uhhhh back on my I can't draw reginald crane in a way im happy with ever. an example ahdkdlf #I've liked exactly 1 drawing of him I've ever done i think i need to do a completely different design over just the little tweaks here idk #anyways ty for the ask sorry it took so long to answer you can see why lmao #it was fun though!!! like i say it got my ass to draw ollie finally and i do like his design #ieytd #i expect you to die #[agent moose's art]#reginald crane #ollie ieytd #oh ship name ummmm #hm #earpiece??? uhhhhhhh radio signal???? idk #leavung it for now im so bad at naming things

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crunchycrystals · 7 months

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that geras scene at the end is killing me as someone who has also been fighting for so long to survive middle school, to survive high school, to just make it to adulthood. i'm so tired and i can barely think further than a year or two from now but the book has been constantly referencing looking back on your past and imagining a future where it gets better because as you get older you keep improving, you keep going, and i really needed that. i can imagine a world like percy was where i'm old and sitting on a porch with a friend, actually being able to rest instead of fighting just to make it through the day. growing older with people so i can look back and tell myself now that it really does get better.

#crunchyposts #pjo #cotg #cotg spoilers #reading commentary #me ventilating #hey sorry ive been going through it for the past few weeks and this sums up exactly how i'm feeling #this series really just got it like i've been fighting demons in my head since i was around 11 years old close to the same age as percy #i was an undiagnosed neurodivergent child who got to see someone like them who dealt with the same stuff #and now im closer to his age in cotg and its still the same stuff #it just means a lot to me :')#it was what he said about rest that really got me because i dont think ive been able to rest in the past 3 years maybe even more #im so so tired dude. but i keep going. im still here. 11 year old me made it and me now will make it #like what sally said i feel helpless thinking about being (age in 2020) not understanding why my brain worked that way #but that person made it through and i will keep making it through

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skitskatdacat63 · 9 months

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I feel like at least several times a month, I have a random insane revitalization of my love for The Smiths. Not that I ever stop loving them, but I'll listen to some song and then suddenly fall into this pit of just deep, intense love for their music again where I can't stop listening to their music on repeat and watching live performances and looking at pics like AAAAAHHHHHH WHY IS THEIR MUSIC SO GOOOD?????? WHY IS IT PERFECT?????? WHY WERE THEY SO GENDER???????

(songs I am feeling intense brainrot over rn in case you're curious: "I Want The One I Can't Have(live)", "Stretch Out and Wait(live)", "You Just Haven't Earned It Yet Baby", "Some Girls Are Bigger Than Others(demo)", "What She Said", "The Boy With The Thorn in His Side(live)"(p.s. I Want The One I Can't Have is Martian-coded to me, pls listen)(also it reminds me of that movie I watched yesterday)

#i want the one i cant have is playing on repeat in my brain rn and i watched a live performance and i was tearing up. why am i like this #the live versions of their songs are just incredibly good like at an insane level to me #i know the guitar is very complicated bcs my brother is equally obsessed w the smiths and rants to me abt how hard their music is to play #so the fact that their live performances are equal if not better than their studio versions is crazy #and i love the way he sings in live versions AAAAHHHH like just so over the top and dramatic #i absolutely love singing along to music and their songs are perfect bcs i can be as dramatic and loud as i want #and that hes singing perfectly and dramatizing it so much also while dancing along to it on stage??????#their music has an energy to it in every single aspect that no other band will ever be able to reach for me #i spent so much of today just dancing along to their music and singing over the top. i just felt so joyful 🥹🥹🥹🥹#GAAAHHHH sorry i just am really in it rn hahaha #its just crazy to me ig that ive listened to these songs so many times and they still fill me with such emotion #my mom sings and dance along w me tho shes like 'wow youre so energetic today did you hit your head or smth' 😭😭😭#also was losing my mind looking at their pictures today and gahhhhhhhhb such gender envy their gender is unmatched to me #but its so funny every time i get gender envy over smiths era morrissey +#because theres some pics of my dad from that same period of time when he was younger where he literally looks exactly like morrissey #SIR WHY DID I NOT INHERIT YOUR LEVEL OF GENDER???????(my dad was a icon sjdkkd we look alike tbh)#anyways: i feel very joyful and energetic about their music. they just make me so happy and i want to dance around again 🥹#i think this recent lapse into the pit was bcs i listened to the demos/live versions on The Queen is Dead deluxe edition #and im like ....how the fuck are they this fucking good??????#hehehe tho my passion has affected others 🤭#my brother is learning some songs on guitar atm and waxes poetic abt their instrumentals #my dad always listens to their entire discography when he needs background music. and my mom sings and dances w me #sorry this is unhinged i just feel a lot of serotonin bcs their music and i need to infect other people LMAO #maybe i need to make another web weave #catie.rambling.txt

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13eyond13 · 1 month

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#here's some of the classics on that list i have beef with btw:#i have tried to read A Confederacy of Dunces several times and it's funny but it's also so cringe and Ignatius is so obnoxious #that i find it too difficult to finish like i just feel depressed and bad for everybody around him too much #i tried reading Infinite Jest like a decade ago and i got like 200 pages in and i remember thinking it felt like #such a slog the entire time because he's just so gd wordy and also i stopped liking DFW after i heard the abuse allegations against him #frankenstein i didnt read that long ago but i just remember finding it so boring for some reason?? i feel i might need to read it again #dracula ngl i feel like im cheating a bit saying ive completely read it because i loved the beginning and then HATED so much of the rest #the characters were just so boring and melodramatic hahaha i just liked the part where jonathan was doing a travel diary #and trapped in the castle tbh and after that i skimmed quite a bit #i almost flipped my shit when i saw ender's game on there because I ALWAYS mix it up with ready player one by ernest cline #which i bought the audiobook of a while back and hated every minute of it i dont think its good at all #but it wasnt that so phew my faith in this list is somewhat restored #i read most of the first game of thrones book and was disappointed tbh maybe because id seen the show already #so i was like 'this feels almost exactly the same except worse?' because i'd been expecting it to give me more depth and insight #into the characters but instead it felt exactly the same and i still didnt love any of the characters enough to feel attached to them #also i am fully aware me not personally liking or vibing with a book doesnt mean it doesnt deserve to be considered great btw #but i think if youre gonna be like me and force yourself to go through a bunch of lists like this very seriously then you also need to just #let yourself be like 'yeah not for me' without feeling too bad about it sometimes too #often times i dont particularly love the classics or 'important books' but at the same time #i still feel like im getting more out of reading them than just grabbing the newest hyped up books that also dont do anything for me #maybe not in a 'wow i loved reading this' way but in like a #'i now have first-hand knowledge of this thing that is so influential / so frequently referenced'#or 'this challenged me and i feel like i did a mental/emotional workout or gave me some new food for thought'#or 'made me more aware of what gaps in my knowledge and reading skills and what my tastes are too'#sort of way...#it really just depends on what you're reading for and why and what you're hoping to get out of it a lot of the time maybe #it's like the homework i give myself to go through these lists that i also intersperse with the stuff i read more just for fun #p

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pavlovers · 1 year

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actually nvm im not emo anymore 🤧

#will i ever be truly content with the ending ? no 💀 but ! everyone looks so cute nd im happy that my fav freaks are able to be silly :p #i have mixed feelings on chifuyu narrating this chapter tho lmao 😭😭#i mean its great that he somehow remembers everything that michi went through nd their friendship wasnt lost #BUT I CANT GET OVER THAT LIKE. ONE TAKEHINA KISS PANEL AND ITS JUST HIS UGLY CRYING FACE AT THE BOTTOM 😭😭#i kinda love that for him tho like shit make their day all about yourself king #i wouldn't have taken the whole takehina ending seriously either way #tokrev aint even about them at this point its about the collection of freaks takemichi collected along the way 😭#what other thoughts can i put out there...#omg sanzu being an influencer is such a slay. i love how he looks exactly the same as he did in the bonten timeline #he just slays online now instead of yknow with a katana in real life !#kazus adorable. izanas adorable #I LOVE THAT SOUTH IS JUST THERE. IDK HOW THEY MET IN THIS TIMELINE BUT FUCK IT YEAH HES INVITED WHY NOT #seeing timeskip mikey again just confirms my initial feelings towards manila mikey which is that he was ugly 😭#IDK THE SHORT HAIR DOESNT SUIT HIM IMO 😭 I WAS HOPING THAT WAKUI WOULD GIVE HIM A NEW HAIRCUT THAT WE HAVENT SEEN BEFORE #its ok tho im happy that hes actually happy ! and that the future he wanted with emma and draken and their baby came true 🥲#WAHH THAT TOO 😭 THE FACT THAT THEYRE MARRIED AND EMMA IS PREGNANT WITH THEIR FIRST CHILD LITERALLY SOBBING 😭#its what theyve deserved this whole time !!!!#what wakui did to naoto was a crime tho 😭 why does he look like thatttt #bring back detective naoto 😭 current naoto looks more homeless than takemichi that doesnt sit right with me 😭#im rocking with long hair hanma. shuji just some guy hanma 💀#wakui making mikey looking at takemichi like that the opening panel like we know what they are 🙄 just had to remind us #thats all i think... its finally over 😭 i may have my grudges but i truly loved reading this weekly for over a year it was so much fun 💗

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godsfavoritescientist · 10 months

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Tbh? I still feel so out of my depth whenever I try to write Bill. For whatever reason it doesn't come naturally to me like writing Ford does. Every time one of y'all has thoughts on Bill's characterization or writes something Bill-centric I'm mentally taking so many notes

#godsrambles #im in that weird inbetween of knowing when his characterization Feels Right but not knowing how to write him so it feels right #its like that stage in art where your eye for good composition and colors and anatomy improves but you dont know how to actually apply it #what i should do is write some short scenes where he interacts with other people #because most of the fics I've written are 100% his internal thoughts when he is completely alone #which is way easier. takes away at least a few of the layers youd usually have to keep track of with this goddamn guy #the only one i can think of that had bill actually talking to someone else is parhelion. and i KNOW i slightly mischaracterized him in that #made him a lil too Smooth. made his manipulative front a lil too gentle and kind and patient #but since its from fords Very Reverent Rose Tinted Glasses perspective i dont think its that big a deal #and also the more i lean into him Seeming Perfect To Ford the more sinister it is to read with the knowledge of what happens later #which is. so much fun. and im so normal about it #but i still do want to get better at writing him interacting with others #ironically one issue that seems to come up is me being like 'whenever he talks to people they always respond exactly how he expects them to #like subconsicously. in the form of 'they get tricked successfully' or 'they are annoyed and bothered to the extent he was going for'#tfw you cant write a character bc you accidentally have the same innaccurate thought process as him #tags essay #TBH writing him as Too good at manipulation in parhelion is also billcore.#'this is how it happened right. im soooo good at trickery good job me'#if you count 'tricking yourself' then yeah bill youre the best at trickery there ever was

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approximately12lbs-of-ducks · 10 months

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COULD YOU TELL ME ABOUT YOUR EEAU?!!! I AM SO VERY CURIOUS!!!

I ABSOLUTELY CAN AHHHHHHH I HAVE SO MANY THOUGHTS ABOUT IT ALWAYS. Premise is that after Dream blows up Logsteadshire, instead of leaving Tommy alone, he suggests to Tommy that they start over somewhere new. He leads Tommy to an even more remote location that this time no one knows about (not that Tommy’s aware of it) and after asking Tommy if it would be less painful if no one was allowed to visit him rather than having them constantly reject him by not showing up, and Tommy agreeing, he like. Bans people from visiting Tommy. This is not, however, what he tells the rest of the SMP - he actually doesn’t say anything for a bit because he’s busy destroying other teenagers lives (Doomsday also holy fuck i am so normal about eeau!tubbo or honestly just c!tubbo in general) but then after Doomsday of course Tubbo goes and discovers the annihilated Logsteadshire and like runs back and Dream insinuates that Tommy killed himself which definietly doesn’t devestate or at least shake up many people. But then people start talking and realize that like. Dream’s been manipulating and lying to them all this whole time and pitting them against each other. Philza in particular is like ‘why did we leave Tommy with the man who constantly expressed his dislike for him/set out to ruin his life’ and everyone was like . fair point. Queue manhunt for Dream where Dream loses his two lives and all of his allies and in a cruel twist of fate ends up with only Tommy for company!! Because stockholm syndrome babey :)))))) Plans backfired immensely for this man. (I did not forget about Punz well I did but then I figured out a way for him not to be there which is a WHOLE OTHER STORY basically Dream tried to manipulate purpled who went Nuh Uh and tattled to punz so punz fucked off and spat in dreams face on the way out)

QUEUE A YEAR LATER Ghostbur stumbles across Tommy in his secret exile spot (Henburgh) as Ghostbur has been searchign for Tommy’s ghost ever since he learned that he died. Eventually Ghostbur forgot he wsa looking for Tommy’s ghost and was just fixated on that he was looking for Tommy. Tommy however is scared of what Dream might do to Ghostbur/to him if he sees Ghostbur or finds out he was here, since he’s technically not allowed any visitors, so he sends Ghostbur away on an impossible quest. Ghostbur leaves him a small bit of blue that he then hides bc he can’t bring himself to throw it away, but unforunately nothing escapes Dream’s grasp for long and he notices :))))) It does not end well for Tommy, time for Logsteadshire pt 2. DURING THE TWO MONTHS THAT PASSED SINCE GHOSTBURS VISIT Wilbur is revived by Philza and Technoblade bc hella guilt and also Kristin hinted to Phil that Wilbur could come back and so Phil took the opprotunity. Wilbur however! Does not remember his time as ghostbur aside from very vague feelings and a couple blurry memories! But he feels VERY STRONGLY that there’s something important to the southeast of Techno’s cabin, and eventually that feeling grows so strong that he starts getting really anxious and upset about the fact he can’t go, so Techno offers to check it out fully expecting to find nothing. Only to stumble across Dream being HORRIFIC to Tommy during Logsteadshire Pt 2 and prompty going Oh Fuck No and bringing Tommy back to recover at the cabin.

Tommy does NOT appreciate this, and immediately demands to be taken back to Henburgh. Techno does not oblige. Tommy makes his displeasure clear but also mans now Traumatized as all hell so he also does jack shit to actually oppose the rest of the SBI. QUEUE FAMILY BONDING TIME AND SLOW HEALING. IT TAKES A LOT OF TIME AND EFFORT AND THERES OF COURSE MORE SHIT BUT I DONT KNWO IF I WANNA SPOIL IT CAUSE I AM WRITING THE FIC. But the main fic ends with Tommy having not fully completed his healing but having made progress in mending his relationships w his family and friends, specifically SBI and beeduo, and like starting to realize and come to terms that what he went through was wrong but it wasn’t his fault, and decide that he wants to fight to be better again. I’m definitely so normal about all of his healing arcs and the way he slowly starts to recover from his trauma and find himself again and discover that life is worth living and that love doesn’t have to hurt I’m really fucking normal. I could talk about this for hours I in fact have talked about it for hours with my sibling (shoutout to them for listening) there are so many details to all of this i thikn about it constantly I am packing so much symbolism into this baby it will be my magnum opus if i can ever fucking finish it

#the ducks quacked about something #a question!! :o #dsmp eeau #THE SYMBOLISM OF THE HOUSE THE SYMBOLISMMMMMMMMMMMMM #EACH OF THEIR HOUSES ARE VERY FUCKING IMPORTRANT AND SO VIVID TO ME #WHAT IT SAUYS ABOUT THEIR CHRACTERS. IM DEFINITELY CASUAL #also the way ghostbur was so bad about communicating but only agreed to be revived if they made revivebur care about completing the quest #tommy gave him (he did not explain it that way so they promptly did not tell revivebur but HE TRIED SO HARD TO NOT LEAVE TOMMY AGAIN)#EEAU WILBUR IS ANOTHER CHARACTER IM SO NORMAL ABOUT #wilbur and tommy really shaking hands on the affects of solitary isolation #oh also wilbur was in limbo for 50 years in this au due to the timeframe :))))))))))))#he is an old creaky man #THE GUILT TUBBO CARRIES AROUND ALWAYS AND THE GUILT RANBOO CARRIES AROUND ALWAYUS AND THE FACT NEITHER OF THEM TALK ABOUT IT TO EACH OTHER #I just really cannot let people be happy huh #IT GETS HAPPY AT THE END COMMUNICATION OCCURS BETWEEN MANY DIFFERENT PEOPLE #also we get awesamdad content but how we get it is kinda spoilers so i can’t explain rn T-T #ALSO TECHNO AND PHILS GUILT AND DESPERATION AND HOW THEY FEEL LIKE THE FAILED AND RRRRRHGHGHHRH #SBI are not bio family but all grew up in the same household as a family but Phil was not a great dad :)) but it wasn’t exactly his fault #hybrid shit vs human shit. he did not realize some of the differences #also how limbo works which i’ve talked a bit about before #ALSO THE DEITY SYSTEM WHIC I AM STILL FIGURING OUT AND ITS GIVING ME A HEADACHE #no dreamon activity in this au just dream being a shitty person because i think that holds more weight #dream is also so interesting me but in a villain character way #okay shutting up now which is so hard i have so much for this au i need to just WRITE IT #also i saw ur other ask it’s late for me but i absolutely want to draw that!!!! instant inspiration reading it #OH EDIT IMPORTANT NOT REVIVEBUR IS VERY DIFFERENT FROM CANON #HES MUCH MORE LIKE WILBUR BEFORE THE WAR(S)#hes chill and finallly on medication for his hella anxiety

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