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pluralthey · 8 months

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is there a good place to start if we want to learn about idletry? im very interested in the story and all the bits and pieces revealed so far but i dont know if youve like, stated the basics both about the characters-in-story and how you’re releasing the comic

hi there. unfortunately, idletry became a passion project very abruptly and many details were added very quickly without regard for how long the project would take. once i did realize how large the project was, i decided that i would not even kid myself on the idea of holding in spoilers for the next 5 years, and those two factors combined make the information available very chaotic and slapdash -- somewhat intentionally.

i don't even have the comics tagged separately for easier access among the idletry content -- although, i could go back and give them a separate tag.

i can summarize the story and say that it's about a funny little talking honey badger/tasmanian devil named jessie gaylord who has for the last 10 years of her life been on heavy psychiatric medication in an attempt to mitigate a pervasive delusion that the world is a fictional story. she also has a notorious aggressive streak. these medications work primarily by leaving her so tired that she sleeps most of the time.

the story begins when her medical team has run out of typical medications to try, and they must order an older, more aggressive type of drug which is not commonly used anymore, and has a lengthier process to manufacturing and approving the drug. during this time, she is not on any medication, and she becomes more urgently fixated on convincing people that the delusion is true.

she ends up attempting to contact the writer, who is referred to as God, and she receives a response. she immediately attempts to write the story herself, and she's granted the ability to do anything within the story so long as she can write it out. (the intricacies and limitations of this power have been elaborated upon in a bunch of fragmentary posts, so i won't try to condense it here)

at the end of the first act, she kills the first writer and becomes the new God of her world. the rest of the story is about what she does after acquiring omnipotence, and it heavily features a character named fate -- or shiloh, as jessie calls her -- with whom she enters an intimate relationship.

she has a happy loving family composed of a father named adam, a mother named evelyn, and an older sister named emily. there is a later minor subplot about a cult following who worships her after she becomes God, and this cult is initially organized by an ant called samanthuel -- or samwich, as jessie calls them. these are usually the other characters i mention and i am too lazy to link them right now

the comic itself is currently being written. the script stands at around 51,000 words at the time of writing this as i work on the second act. after it's written, i will let it simmer for a few months and then write a second draft to start to relieve the story of its bloat. depending on its length at that point, i will either need to write a third draft, or i will start drawing the comic.

chances are, during the second draft, i will start to thumbnail or sketch scenes which receive little to no editing, as i know they will likely remain relatively unchanged even through multiple drafts.

the sketch strips are to tide me and an eager audience over in the meantime, but they've sort of dried up as i focus all of my attention on finishing the first draft and taking care of a puppy that was kind of just forced onto me.

i've made a couple of full-length comics before and they have taken years. it is, unfortunately, just the nature of the process. for idletry, i plan to self-publish the comic. i've never published something in print before, so that is the most daunting part for me.

the plan at the moment is to crowdfund this, but, to be frank with you, i no longer pay rent, and i care very much about having this comic as a printed book. i have no issue with paying the cost of printing out of my own pocket by the time it's done and am even anticipating that outcome ahead of time, despite having a pretty reliable audience by now.

i'm on the fence about releasing a digital book version, as i very much want to retain digital color versions of the pages that are more vibrant, but due to the explicit adult content of the story, i don't want it to be free-access.

tl;dr: it's about a lesbian incel with anger issues who's given omnipotence.

i'm still working on the story because i want it to be good.

i'm planning on printing it as a physical comic book once it's done.

#idletry #not art #ask #asks #as a frame of reference your average actual words-on-paper novel is 60k words

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ganondoodle · 10 months

Text

i know i said i wouldnt be ranting about totk anymore, but i realized i didnt really count the sage dungeons as story (dont ask me why) so i thought im gonna write a better summarized version of my opinion about totk (i have around 60% of the game, all lightroots, not yet all shrines (missing like .. 20 or so, know the reward), not all krogs (dont know the reward), not all mayoi (half know the reward?) )

(in no particular order)

good stuff (in my opinion)

the. MUSIC! god the music is good, it was good in botw too but now with much more different bosses it really is probably one of my fav soundtracks of all time (most fav are all three phases of the end fight, the pre-fight to that, the build up one before all of those, Frosgeira (wind tempel boss) the glorious mASTER KOGA and more tbh)

the build up and end boss fight(s) are fantastic, i dont think im ever not gonna have my heart racing when approaching it (despite now skipping almost the entire way bc i set a teleport thing right before it) just bc the build up is so well made and the music(again) is such a banger and the fight(s) itself is so fun too, tbh i keep wanting to play it just bc its so fun

i LOVE how many themes play into the music (endfight alone had so many layers, fav probably is ganondorfs classic theme and calamity ganons both in the same piece among much more, and daruks theme in the fire temple)

(edit) YOU. CAN. TOUCH. DA. DRAGONS!!!!

ganondorf

ganondorfs design (x3)

ganondorfs weapon designs

ganondorfs voice (japanese)

everyone elses voice (japanese)

all voices (german)

thE YIGA!!! i love everythign about them and am so happy they got to be more than just some mini mission

(edit) also the fact that they get zonau tech to work without any special ghost powers is so ????

(edit) koga can summon and use zonau tech unlimited?? hes so cool

NO stealth mission!! (as far as im aware)

bosses are very different from each other

main dungeons are not too short and not too long and mostly fun (mostly bc i personally didnt like the gerudo one), i love that you can still somewhat cheese them and do them your way

sages felt like they got a bit more involved

(edit) you gotta do more stuff before getting to the actual dungeons and i really like that, feels less like a fetch quest but that you are actually helping

(edit) each sage is actually there in the dungeon and is required for it, which is great!

each settlement saw a much bigger danger/change (tho that has more impact if you have played botw) and its problems felt much more real

shrines are well varied tho i think overall a little easy (only got stuck on two so far and later solved them easily bc when i first started them i was tired and exhausted, no brain left lol)

NPCs felt less flat + more bigger sidequests that felt like they had more impact

cool new monsters + designs

the underground was pretty appropiately creepy

the sages abilities are neat

you can refight bosses!!

stable points system is a neat way to encourage you using them

weapon fusing is neat

(edit) the forest of the krogs being corrupted like that is both creepy and a neat nod to oot

(edit) the vai gerudo outfit being gone!! (one) evil has been defeated

(edit) the health bar going so far off the middle in ganondorfs second phase is honestly just funny hnjdfdjk unfortunate that you only need the master sword and with a few perfect dodges his health melts like butter in the summer

(edit) the music when dragondorf transforms sounds so sad .. its probably meant as a oh no world is actually ending sad but i like to think of it as a oh god what did he do to himself sad

the scene where rauru seals ganondorf kinda fruity

(graphic, animations and the overall world is still fantastic)

bad stuff (in my opinion)

everything zonau they feel forced into every bit of the world and its history (i know them being somewhat alien is intentional but not like that) it feels crammed into places they werent before and shouldnt be and it makes it all feel very artificial

the glyphs/dragon tears/memories really ruined alot for me, while it gave you insight as to what happened, it felt like it showed you too much and too little at the same time and i think it would have worked better if it was all in text for once if even at all, so the past stil stayed a mystery and youd be left wondering

timetravel .. really wasnt necessary and felt more like an excuse to get rid of zelda + make her the poor little sacrificial girl again + and to make her turning into a dragon as tragic as possible, like nothing but a stepping stone to the big reveal tm

shiekah tech being not just fully irrelevant but practically erased, wiped off the world (i know about the literally last guardian parts in hateno, it feels more like an oversight tbh, purah technically using it ... tho i dont think she ever calls it that, the purah pad is jsut the sheikah stone but worse), there being no good explanation, no remains, nothing as to why it would suddendly stop working and why even the titans and ESPEICALLY the shrine of life would be destroyed, if anything why wouldnt you enshrine it as a memento to history it was such a focus in botw and so well integrated into the world that it being fully gone, not even old overgrown, or visibly reused to build homes etc., or remains of how they built the og shrines in the underground feels like a HUGE missed opportunity (seriously it would have been so easy to make the ancient shiekah base their tech on old zonau tech, without stealign the gocus but buildign a connection)

all of the continuity problems, totk feels like botw didnt happen and the excuse of 'they didnt want to confuse new players' doesnt make a lick of sense in my eyes bc; its supposed to be a sequel, if you want it to be a standalone game then dont call it a sequel- if you start to play a game with the sequel instead of the first part its your own damn fault if you get confused; if anything, it would have been a good opportuntiy to make people interested in botw so theyd buy and play that one too

ganondorfs character is very flat, you basically get to know nothing about him (yuno even calls that out midgame but its never elaborated upon nhgfrdfhkk)

the zonau and their kingdom of hyrule is presented as this so perfectly good thing to such a degree it turns creepy, the end cutscene with mineru going poof was kinda uncomfy to watch tbh

the reward for all shrines being essentially a reveal as to who the hero in the tapestry was and it being, of course, some weird half zonau is the lamest answer to a mystery i didnt want an anwser too, it doesnt feel like it came naturally either (again my point of the zonau being forced into everything)

the shrines (zonau) feel so much more unnatural than the shiekah shrines, alien in a bad way and not in a good way + really are like a bad reskin of them, their sudden appearance and use is so much less logical

back in botw i was doubtful of if the shiekah tech wasnt going to far too modern tech and cause it all to feel like a bad mix of modern tech and medival fantasy, but they balanced it perfectly (tho the eponator zero was very much the limit imo) but the zonau tech .... oversteps that line i think, it really does feel, more than anything else, that it was just bc they wanted the stuff to be in there bc it might be fun to play around with, im not against that kind of stuff mind you im all for fun, but it feels a little like they thought of a box with endless stuff to play with first and a zelda game second (if you get what i mean)

quite a few quests or things in the game seem like they are more and then end in a dead end (the worst of all is impa saying she wants to go research what could help zelda turn back, and i was excited and convinced that shed give me a quest to find some mcguffin that would do that after i beat ganon but there wasnt anything you could actually do; less bad one but disappointing nonetheless the dongos were mentioned and treated like this big awesome thing from alot of NPCs all around the map and then when you find them they are bascially just gem vending maschines)

the way zelda turns back and link gets his arm back is incredibly unsatisfying, none of them even have something like a scar, or mark from it all, zelda spent thousands of years as a dragon (a transformation that was said to cost your soul but i guess that wasnt true) and link had his arm bascially eaten by miasma and he gets it back like it was never lost, zelda returns all intact as if nothing happened, getting blasted by some magic tm by two ghosts that were supposed to be long gone is the solution to all problems!!

(edit) link losing an arm wouldnt just be super intersting but also lend itself well to lead up into the next game where his prothesis is the focus and source of abilities

(edit) zelda got done so dirty, instead of her actual interests and character to shine she just gets shoved into yet another crisis surrounded by strangers in a world that looks like hers but isnt, and all she does is beg the ancient sages to swear to help link and sacrifice herself again (can you call that fridging? bc she sure feels like she got fridged) i like zelda and i dont like how much i didnt care about her and tbh im angry at the game for that

(edit) both link and zelda not even slightly changing in the years btween botw and totk kinda boring, like a haircut can only do so much

(edit) sonia really is the wife that dies to make husband sad thing isnt she? i get that gan had to get his hands on an enigma stone but i feel like there had been better ways to do that, the fact that she dies that easily is almost funny honestly, why does ganondorf even have weapons when he can just one punch people to death (tho i find it funny to imagine he can literally just kill people in one punch but hes too prideful to do it most of the time so he always uses weapons to look more cool)

(edit) so many new characters that you barely get to see or interact with, i really ... couldnt get myself to care much

(edit) zonau tech being so irrelevant to the games story while its also the focus is .. weird, its really just play doh for the players and nothing else honestly

(edit) monsters mining sonanium feels strange bc ... they dont do anything with it? the best thing i can think of is that they were told to do that so link cant .. upgrade his battery thignies? but then again you could just destroy the mines and remaining constructs to stop it .... also you really dont need anything zonau tech related to beat gan?

(edit) ganondorf beign so utterly uninterested in their tech is weird considering how he dealt with shiekah tech (and we KNOW it can get corrupted) he should be a tech nerd tbh

my twitch VoD of the first time beating the game getting muted at the credits despite me talking over it

nitpicks (in my opninion)

(edit) ganondorf should have a bit more of a boar inspired design, as treat, i think

(edit) the enigma stone wandering back to ganondorfs forehead even after transforming is? weird? i guess an excuse for da epic last stabby but still? (how cool would it have been to have to plunge into his mouth and break it there or something)

(edit) the underground gets a lil old after a while, the fact that its pretty much the same everywhere aside from some .. very strange flowing magma is a lil boring

(edit) ganondorf could have gone way more crazy with abilities and all that, imagine hed spwan multiple miasma arms on himself when you get him to a certain level of health

(edit) i miss unique weapons, there arent even normal axes around anymore, everything is about fusing really, i miss the cool shiekah tech weapons

(edit) the forest of the krogs being largely irrelevant is kinda weird

(edit) mineru being the sage of spirit still is kinda meh, the robot is neat but i thought tauro or purah would be the surprise sage tbh

(edit) the bosses were a little easy (i did boldo gohma rather early and did it without even getting hit)

you cant talk to koga normally :(

you cant find koga again after the last fight :(

you cant refight him (to my knowledge) :(

i find it very strange that yuno seemingly lost daruk shield, despite him having inhereted it in botw

the sage powers are not .. very great integrated, while its fun to haven them run around and help you fight, to actually use their powers you have to chase after them, something that in the heat of a battle is very annoying to do, constantly activating the wrong on or them losing their charge up when they get knocked over is like trying to herd a wild pack of geese while a three headed dragon is shotting laserbeams at you

some widlife just disappearing all of the sudden is very strange (like the rhino in hebra)

some new houses or settlements would have been cool, that the material things at the sides of roads are really only for you to play around with and not to build anything that lasts

you cant fight ganondorf (non dragon, even the dragon is locked to that evening sky) in the sunlight, night or rain, i would have loved to fight him at various times of day

their refusal to show any kind of blood is honestly turnign serious scenes into very awkward ones, sonia just getting punched and she dies with not even like, losing some spit from the force or something, or the fact when you defeat ganondorfs second phase he acts mortally wounded but doesnt even look scratched is just :/

amiibo stuff while neat being included its really mostly just bloating your inventory, if i wanted 5 vaguely different link outfits then i would have gotten the amiibo for it

why hide the -now-totally-not-phantom-ganon-armor- behind such a long questline and then .. have that NOT be upgradable

they put in a house building thingy and then not let you have a roof or a tree or something :(

at some point stable points jsut get you more and more of those free staying over night tickets that i maybe used .. once at the very start and now its just accumulating in my inventory

only one new horse coat pattern :(

satori now only being a thingy that shows you caves is kinda boring, i loved the mystery around it in botw (additionally, that it shows you caves you have completed already kinda sucks)

the end of the shrines isnt that cool anymore, speaking to a mummified monk that gives you essentially his last remains of life energy is so much cooler than a statue of the oh so awesome god king and his wife

the many references and reuse of old names is neat but together with timetravel etc. it easily leads to confusing and fighting among fans for who is more 'right' and its just .. tiring

(edit) considering how much of the advertising was about the sky islands i wished there were more and bigger ones, the underground (that was a little one sided after a while, it all looking the same rly) could have been alot smaller if the sky was bigger instead

(edit) i wished there was more of a sense of .. lost life in the ruins you find, from all races, the ancient ruins are jsut some bridged and ceremonial stuff and i wished there were more like .. houses, like people actually lived there and it not being all around beign a platform for you

(edit) the fact that the half zonau hero exists mean either rauru and sonia had kids but those were clearly not important enough to ever show nor mention, or there were other mixing of them before they all mysteriously died out the fact that the ancient hero was half zonau means their genes survided till then but somehow it never came up? the tapestry still exists and impa and purah say like its a well known fact that the hero looked like that (not at all close to any modern species) when you talk to them while wearing it (the fact that the hero armor thingy is very reminiscemt of ganondorf is like some backtreading bc we were theorizing about the hero having been ganondorf once and they wanted to stop that .. but the more funny thing is the HC of its a descdendet of rauru and ganondorf nhjdfknhdgkfnhkfd) (edit to add to the HC; the game being a big battle about child support is funnier than it should be idk if nintendo knew what they were doing adding details like that)

all in all it just feels like missed opportunities, lost potential, and more a game build around some game mechanics they really wanted to get into than telling a neat story, espeically so bc they called it a sequel, most of my complaints wouldnt be there if it was some alternate thing instead

i probably forgot stuff but if i think of more i will add them later with a little note that it was added in an edit (sidenote, i find it funny how much more nuance that whole conflict would get if rauru and ganondorf were bitter exes bfdrjfbdfndk)

#ganondoodles talks #zelda #totk #totk spoilers #i felt like i was beign a little unfair #so i wanted to make a summary #tha took me hours to write #and is again long as shit #whoop #long post #this isnt a complete list iether bc that would be even longer and take even longer nhdjkkd #i wanted to do comic works damn it #anyway this is the last long post about this #bc im moving on now #...its half inspired by people respondign to me with -what how can you not like totks story but then like botws lol wtf-#well i do #*shrugs*

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spacedlexi · 3 months

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sorry if this is a personal question ... 🐛... but what are you doing for college and how did you decide to go for it?

oof

im going to school for animation but im realizing how much i love storyboarding specifically (and how little patience i have for full animating/not having the time i need to make animations that arent quick and stiff to meet a deadline (also i want adobe animate obliterated off the earth)). ive cried about how much i love boarding LMAO its that serious. but i love working with Little Guys and putting them in Situations plus theyre characters i dont have to make up myself?? im adapting a script?? but i might still be able to have fun with it? and as a lover of visual mediums i get really excited about being able to control a camera/composition for Maximum Emotional Effect, plus the idea of leading a viewer through a scene. knowing "rules" and breaking them with purpose. im in an editing class rn thats got me really excited aha

it was NOT an easy choice to make. im going back to school so late because i kept telling myself i shouldnt do it and should pick something non art related but well.... here i am.... (my mom kinda pushed the idea even tho the concept of going into art school debt keeps me up at night 💀)

i stumbled around community college for a few years hoping something else would Click for me but in the end i just kept taking art classes. i knew i would be miserable doing anything else. its still Work but its a kind of work i still derive enjoyment from even when im tired or frustrated. i think i would hate the academia world when it comes to my more scientific interests, and i dont have the patience to put up with the bs of being female presenting in a male dominated field like engineering (plus my math brain got broken by a bad calc teacher so...), so instead im taking those inspirations and using them for my art :) im a little engineer at heart so being able to apply that kind of thinking to my art inspires me (and i hope maybe something i make one day will inspire some scientists too lol). plus i dont think i would be happy if i wasnt surrounded by other artists

i doubt my choices every day 😭 but i really do love it a lot. im hoping that my passion and vision takes me SOMEWHERE in the industry, but its scary for everyone out there right now... i mostly try not to think about it honestly

#replies with lexi #incognito

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whole-circus · 10 months

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hi hi!! i absolutely love ur page, u write so well <3

i was wondering if you could do hcs of jeff dating a male nurse reader with a quite cold personality but certain soft spots for jeff, both sfw and nsfw? tysm!!

take ur time. u just started taking reqs and im sure there’s more than one asks in ur inbox, take care !

NSWF&SWF || Jeff the killer and BEN Drowned x male nurse reader!

➥ Hi hello and thank you so much! Here you go! :)

Im sorry that it turned out pretty short T^T

And I saw your edit to request, no worries!! I promise its all good, no need to apologize sweetheart!! You haven't done anything wrong, mistakes happen :3

.•┈••✦ 🖤 ✦••┈•.

Jeff The Killer

SWF

☆ Cold boy with a soft spot for one person? The best trope that could ever exist tbh. Jeff absolutely adores you, and he is the same - meanie to everyone but his boyfriend! Loves that about you, his possesive and jealous side is also pretty content with that :) I mean..you make him feel so special!

☆ Please, please patch him up..! Jeff gets into so many fights..and well he is a serial killer.. so he gets a lot wounds that need to be taken care of! He would never let somebody esle do it, and he is terrible at self-care so he absolutely needs you!

☆ Also dont tell that anybody...but he would comfort you after hard days !! Are you hungry? Thirsty..? Man will order you something! Are you tired? Sore? He would offer you a massage (he sucks at them but appreciate it!) or a hot bath! And if you just want to sleep? He will cuddle with you, and if you are up to it then watch something.

NSWF

☆ Learning male anatomy.. Oh? Wanna practice..? Well guess what..you have the best model here! You can touch all of his parts, he isn't the shy one! I promise he will make it fun! But after all, its the best to learn in practice, right?

☆ Will make you suck his dick in your pretty uniform.. Dunno but it just make him so weak..and so horny lol You on your knees in front of him?? Oh my god! He would put his hard, and long dick into your mouth..making you gagging and feeling him in your throat! He just loves that..Would cum into your mouth,grabbing your chin/hair to look down at you, and make you swallow! „Do you enjoying having your mouth filled with cum, silly boy..?”

☆ Jeff would be into quickies before job. Sex with him is often pretty messy - even if you dont have a lot of time! He just loves the fact that he ruins you so much.. You got all pretty looking for your job? To bad, now you need to correct your look - and better make it fast, you need to go out in a couple minutes! „Tell me about everything you like about having my huge cock buried deep inside you baby..” - he whisper to your ear, in his low husky voice, as he fucks you hard.

BEN Drowned

SWF

☆ Ah?? A mean boy?? He is so in love!! And if it comes out that you have soft spot for him?? You will make him die! He loves to be pampered and he loves to be loved!! Also..not to overuse you being a nurse..but take care of him, please. I know he is theoretically dead, but he have many bad habits, for example he eat poorly and rarely or he sleep too little (if he even sleep at all).

☆ God,he is such a simp for you!! Like really, he would do anything for you..you show him that much love and care? He is so special to you, that you have a soft spot for him? Again - melting! Would do everything to you..just say the word and he will bring you it on his knees lol

☆ I bet people can be suprised that you and Ben are in relationship. You are pretty diffrent from eachother, he is really outgoing and loves people, but you? A cold man?? What kind of mix is that?? No worries (i mean, not like you care about people opinions), if someone somehow will discover that you can be softie then they will totally see that you are made for eachother! ..just saying that Ben is chatterbox..

NSWF

☆ Come on..I mean nurse kink... He would love to role play with you. Just you in your uniform wakes something in this wild men. Imagine him laying in bed, fully naked..becasue you need to do your job and examine him <3 Massage his prostate, your warm fingers going so deep into his hole.. Dont forget to check his puls on neck..maybe when holding your hand around his silly throat? And finally his hard member..your hands touching his heavy balls (you need to squeeze them, just to make sure everything is alright) and his quivering cock! Oh? Is he sick? Mhm..I bet you must cure him then..? How about fucking his brains out? Voilà! You cured him mr. Y/N!

☆ Oh I believe Ben is absolutely a switch, he loves being sub deep down. Please let him suck your dick if he will be a good boy for you.. He would absolutely beg for you, he dreams of seeing your soft thighs again and again - and of course seeing your pretty cock. Definitely will beg for your seed when he is being deepthroated by you..?! I promise he wont waste any single drop! „Please..please let me suck your cock until you cum all over my face..”

☆ Okay but..guide masturbation! Doesn't matter if in person..or if you are way away (maybe duriing your break in work??)..just do this! Ofc he could jerk off alone but where is the fun in that? :(( And as I mentioned earlier - loves being dominated and told what to do. There is something intimate in this kind of things too! „Please sir..please i cant..only you can make me feel soo good..”

.•┈••✦ 🖤 ✦••┈•.

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bug-bites · 7 months

Text

whatcha lookin at buddy? :3

tw: none!! just some silly fluffy romantic hcs, also not edited bc im just an eepy lil guy

pairing: rodolfo "rudy" parra x gn!reader

summary: uhhh your boyfriend shares his silly little late night habit with you or something

characters: rodolfo "rudy" parra

notes: i never know what to title these things also i know the formatting is ugly!! i wrote this in my notes app and was too lazy to make it look decent,, <(＿　＿)>

rudy never was one to sleep early, in all honesty he seemed to do the complete opposite. he would always go to bed hours later after you. you never understood why.

it wasn't anything that made you suspicious, he wouldnt go far, most of the time he would still be at home, just outside. it was just odd, but it didnt seem like anything bad?

one night you woke up and there was an unfamiliar emptiness beside you, rudy wasnt there next to you like he was right before you fell asleep

its the middle of the night what else would this guy be doing at 2am??

so you're panicking a bit, you wake up and your boyfriend isnt next to you. sure maybe hes just pissing but you're tired and logic isnt the first thing that comes to mind

you call out for him, your throat a bit dry after you've just woken up and it comes out a bit more panicked than you intended

you sit up, eyes scanning the room looking for him- any sign of him

a sigh of relief leaves your lips, he's there. he's in your bedroom, back turned to you as he gazes upwards, out the window.

as soon as he hears his name his head whips around, why are you panicking?? whats going on?? did something happen? did you have a nightmare? most importantly, are you okay?

but he hears your sigh and you mumble something under your breath. he closes the curtains and walks towards you, gently cupping your cheek

"qué pasa?" "sorry i just- you weren't next to me and i just panicked" "nothing to be sorry for."

his voice is soft, barely above a whisper. he runs his thumb along your cheekbone, holding your cheek so tenderly it feels like you're about to melt

"it's okay. im right here."

"what were you doing?" you ask him, its about damn time he tells you anyways and you're getting curious about his strange nighttime habit "you'll find out tomorrow. its better if its a surprise." he kisses your forehead and climbs back into bed with you. "what if i dont want it to be a surprise?" "well thats not up to you. now go to sleep, cariño"

one his arms snake around your waist, the other making its way under your head, like a pillow but better

the next night, as soon as it gets dark he finally lets you in on his not so secret secret.

he grabs your hand, your fingers intertwining with his and leads you outside to a picnic blanket

"its a bit late for a picnic." you say with a yawn

he rolls his eyes as he walks over to the blanket, lying down flat on his back. you do the same, curious to what his next move was.

"stop looking at me and look up" he says with a chuckle

you listen to him and look up, hundreds of stars scattered in the distant sky. its calm, the sounds of the crickets chirping, his hand in yours, your back flat against the picnic blanket, its so serene you almost forget to breathe

"i used to do this all the time when i was younger." rudy says, breaking the silence "i would set up a mat outside and me and alejandro would lie there for hours until my mamá would yell at us to come back inside"

you look over at him, just for a second and catch him smiling as he reminisces

"i like to look at the stars when i get overwhelmed. reminds me i how small i am in the universe" "thats a bit melancholic, dont you think? the idea that we're so much smaller than the universe. like we dont matter as much as we think" you say, "i dont think of it like that. its like the world is bigger than my problems, it continues and theres so much more than just my troubles." he replies, eyes fixated on the stars "well when you put it that way, it sounds pretty nice"

the next few minutes are spent with rudy teaching you some basic constellations like the big and small dipper and then moves onto the more complex ones like ursa minor, andromeda and orion.

each constellation he points out comes with a story, as great as they look you cant help but watch him as he tells you all about them. its something he loves so deeply, you can tell from the way the corners of his mouth turn upwards as he describes them to you, the look of amazement in his eyes even though he's seen the stars hundreds of times. you cant help but fall more for him with every word he says

"i wish we met earlier. before when i was younger you could see so much more than just ...this. i wish i could've shown it to you" his tone becomes slightly bittersweet.

you don't exactly know what to say, you just wrap an arm around his torso, you mutter a soft "i know" right before you press a kiss to his cheek

the next time you two go stargazing its when you go camping together, although sure its not just in your backyard its as close as you can get with just enough clarity in the sky to see everything rudy wanted to show you :]

taglist: @pygm4li0n

#the thought of him stargazing w/ lil alejandro is so cute ashdgshajsdg #i love my boy rudy we need more content for him #also first explicitly romantic x reader thingy ever yay!#i wanna go stargazing with rudy (but more platonically) :(#rudy parra x you #rudy parra x reader #rodolfo rudy parra #rodolfo parra #rudy parra #call of duty #call of duty mw2 #call of duty modern warfare 2 #call of duty headcanons

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deedala · 5 months

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🌱Weekly Tag Wednesday🌱

Thanks for these amazing questions and for tagging me @suchagallabitch!! 💛 and @energievie @creepkinginc @darlingian and @metalheadmickey!!! 💖

1. if you could switch bodies with anybody for only one hour who would it be and what would you do? Gosh I don't know who exactly but I guess maybe any billionaire hanging out somewhere tropical and beautiful because I'd love to enjoy that scenery and also drain their fucking bank account to myself and literally anyone else, it's so much money it could fix so much 😋 (elle you mentioned taking money from rich people and i fixated on it sorry lol)

2. whats your most trivial / dumbest hot take? buuhhh...i dunno...one day shipping is stupid.

3. if you had to teach a college course what would it be in? pfft ...flatting??? im useless for the most part guys i dunno what to tell ya.

4. season 12 of shameless is suddenly happen and youve been put in charge! what plot point(s) are you gonna make happen? Omg ok. First of all, Ian and Mickey will be carrying this season with the most important plotlines. Carl, please quit the cop thing, own the bar...NORMAL bar. Debbie still has her career shit together but she's finally gonna get her love life together. Lip and Mickey and Brad will do some stupid hijinks together. Liam is gonna get some personal life drama as he's getting a bit older now. We're gonna also follow some plotlines down in Kentucky with V and Kev and Fiona (who moves there to live near them because shit falls apart for her in Florida)

5. who would be your godly parent? (can be any mythology). Mythal (the Protector, All-Mother, and goddess of love, is the patron of motherhood and justice)

6. what’s something you love about yourself? *tire deflating sound*

7. describe your day in 5 emojis: 🥱👧🧑👩‍⚕️🥨

8. what shameless character do you think you could beat in a fight? you know what, i dont WANT to fight her, but i like to think i could take debbie. we would absolutely destroy each other but i think i could do it 😂

9. tell us 2 truths and a lie, we’ll try to guess the lie!

10. do you have a pet(s). if so how did they get their name? nope

11. show us a meme (or picture) that captures your essence i dont collect a lot of memes but i do have this one i guess

12. whats your typical coffee / tea / beverage order? if im ordering coffee its gonna be an iced peppermint oatmilk latte

13. use a song to describe the last 5 years of your life? oh this is not a thing im good at....uhm grey street by dave matthews band? team by lorde?? something like that i guess!! Okay little nuggets im going to tag you if you wanna play! @too-schoolforcool @michellemisfit @mybrainismelted @heymrspatel @gardenerian @gallawitchxx @mickeysgaymom @scurvgirl @themarchg1rl @mmmichyyy @juliakayyy @sleepyfacetoughguy @jrooc @sam-loves-seb @crossmydna @tanktopgallavich @palepinkgoat @sickness-health-all-that-shit @gofionaonthem @thepupperino @purplemagpie @suzy-queued @rereadanon @transmickey @mikhailoisbaby @auds-and-evens @tsuga-of-mars @vintagelacerosette @ardent-fox @callivich @lingy910y @lee-ow @squidyyy23 and #💟YOU 😘

#tag game #weekly tag wednesday #the lie was horse-riding instructor :P #hairstylist is actually the job i had the longest lol!!

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askamnesiamoonjumper · 2 years

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edit: HEY EVERYONE LOOKING AT THIS POST GO READ AAU FIC RIGHT NOW BC IM TIRED OF THIS POST BEING IN MY NOTIFS 24/7💥💥💥💥

Ok sorry about that now back to your regularly scheduled program: A!au toh au when??

Yeah hi I was bored n thinking about this idea and also wanted to do a style study for toh, (ignore that I had to use bases for the bodies I couldn’t draw them😭 my lines where too shaky I’m not the best at tracing stuff so I cheated a tiny bit) I had originally thought of this idea ages ago in a doodle where they all went to hexide and it was more a high school au if anything but now that the show is further along I thought of a more fleshed out idea for this hypothetical au!

Technically this could count as just a regular Ahit toh au BUT I based it off of ideas and hcs in aau so yeah I’m sticking with that

Also the characters aren’t one to one with toh characters it’s more just a “how would these characters and their story translate over to toh universe” thing but most characters can be tied to a toh character as being based on/in the role of if that makes sense like I said it’s a bit of a mixing pot with the characters

Uh yeah info about the basic idea for the characters/story:

The whole story with prince and Vanessa instead of prince getting locked in a cellar to die van curses him instead, but somehow idk how yet he ends up turning the tables and splitting the curse with her. I like the idea that prince is from his respective time period as Ahit and falls through a time pool so we get the same concept of this guy is old and from a long time ago just with skipping over the death ghost part so yeah he gets sent to present Snatcher is basically the eda character he has the curse and takes elixir (which I hc is blue bc haha Ahit reference)

If it’s not obvious from her design Vanessa is the belos of this au lol Probably instead of the emperors coven it’s something like the Queen’s court? I think it’s got a neat ring? Anyway yeah uh not much to say about her she’s basically the same lol, also I like the idea she uses illusions to hide her appearance and also to manipulate mj and the citizens 👀

mj is basically a combo of s2 Lilith and Hunter! He’s a grimwalker made by Vanessa to replace prince basically he’s made to be her perfect fairy tale Prince Charming that loves her and would never ever betray her <oblivious But yeah same idea as Hunter of being made as a clone of someone else BUT they’ve got a more similar role to Lilith in which they end up befriending the main cast and living with them Also included their “golden gaurd” design not sure what to call it? Moon prince? Moon something idk lol you guys might could help with that but yeah that’s the fit they got when with van also we got blood Amy too in which Vanessa gives her curse to mj after finding his palismen (she eats them belos style ofc lol) speaking of I still need to draw the palismen but I have some cool ideas!

Dels idk what to say besides uh she lives with snatcher n we still got the qpr going ofc lol sorry I don’t got much on her 💔 though I DID consider making her a star child to go with the twilight god thing but I also considered making eclipse a star child because the design is similar plus gives an excuse for him to be here without the fusion plus I think Vanessa using eclipse sounds cool it makes sense he’s prince in canon so like ofc she’s drawn to him but yeah still thinking about that

Time twins are our luz stand in, hc timmys jacket is snatchers like luzs jacket is eras bc I think it’s cute lol dont question why he has it idk I didn’t have the time pool idea at the time and bow is kinda like the willow/gus of the group and mu is the amity? Mu being a bully at first until joining the friend group n stuff and bow being the sweet straight man to the rests antics

Drawing time twins with round ears was cursed Anyway mu is a hybrid still, She’s half witch half eberwolf species! Cooking cat and Sam get to be her bio parents here instead of adopted so that’s cool

Shapes is the Vee stand in and omg they where really fun to design

I like the idea of the changelings/council being titan trappers? Considering they’re a cult? I think it sounds cool so maybe like shapes sneaks in with a disguise or like the trappers take them in or the trappers are basilisk in this universe? Idk considering no one in the cast is a titan it wouldnt really make sense so like maybe they are basilisk or basilisk hunters? Still chewing on the council lol sorry

Sorry I’ve been putting it off BUT curses!: basically same logic as canon they go by eda and belos logic respectively so van is a creepy skeleton cryptid ass monster and snatcher is a animal beast! BUT he’s not a bird like eda or Lilith ,and also not a snake though that would fit in being a more obvious choice, he’s ACTUALLY a ferret! Mostly bc I thought it was funny but it stuck lol they are furry and noodly so it works, plus I’m a sucker for the monster has innocent name but is actually terrifying trope lol, also idk about blood moon? They get cursed yeah but I don’t think they get transformed into anything mostly bc I have no ideas for them lol plus it’s more focused on the illusion hypnosis whatever abd not the curse itself

Anyway on to covens/magic specialties! The kids are obvious because they have the uniforms lol but I’ll still list them anyway: Time twins: Oracle/illusion Bow: beast keeping Mu: constructed Prince: Oracle/bard Snatcher: Oracle/potion Delilah: plant/healing Mj: bard Vanessa: illusion Shapes: abomination

But yeah that’s kinda it lol I do plan to add more doodles or ideas later but yeah hoo boy these took forever but it was a fun style challenge plus fun to design everyone!

Sorry if these notes are kinda all over the place oof I didn’t bother to double check them so sorry if it sounded rambley

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stargirlie25 · 3 months

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Ok scrolling through acotar tiktok KILLS ME. Its not the og tiktok with cool edits of ships that you prefer its just pure toxic hate.

Like me, you might have noticed there are few and few Gwynriel/elucien content then Elriel content. I don´t believe it is because they dont ship these ships anymore i think its because they are tired.

When i was neutral (about a year ago) on the ships wars, i would CONSTANTLY see Elriels being so confident about their ship and how acosf pointed to an elriel endgame. I had not read acosf by then and when i did+ the bc i didn´t hate elriel i just started to love Gwynriel.

Sometimes sarah likes to put positive factors on a ship, like something beautiful without there having to be a whole theory. Because sarah does not expect her readers to be theorists. She wants them to laugh,cry,giggle,scream. etc. So when she was writing the BC which according to elriels are not important she probably wanted us to look at Gwyn and Azriel and consider her obvious wording and differences between elriel and gwynriel. According to elriels the BC isnt important and does nothing to contribute into plots,but also it introduces Gwyns lightsinger powers? Whatever that is not even my point right now. My point is, at first glance at the BC everybody should be more positive towards Gwynriel. SJM put out a free bonus chapter. Why should something heavy like a characters powers be in there? Its supposed to be a light hearted thing. Im just tired of Elriels saying we are delusional or our ship is a crackship.

I never hated Elriel before. All the anti elriel stuff i have mentioned is everything i was already aware of before ´´hating´´ elain and az together. I was still neutral even with all those negavtives.

Its the fandom that made me turn around and choose Gwynriel. I noticed Gwynriel and Elucien content was much more surrounding pro content for their ship and cute headcanons,cannons,edits,fanarts etc. It rarely EVER mentioned anti Elriel information. Except the elriel content then and now, all revolves around Gwynriel and Elucien. Instead of promoting their ship, they have to tear down our ships and say we are crazy.

It was like: Elriel vs Gwynriel and it said that gwynriel was fanon and elriel was canon. Thats´ just false but i understand i cant change that which i dont mind but why scream about it to my face? I saw people bullying Gwyn and saying she was faking her trauma,lured in hyberns men or was evil for the sake to uplift elriel/elain. I saw people bully emerie too calling her a crippled fake illyrian and how it was stupid for emerie to win the blood rite against her cousin. Or how somehow emerie was a b*tch and does not deserve to be a valkyrie+ nesta and gwyn. I saw people make edits to uplift Elain and hate Gwyn. I witnessed people dismissing Luciens trauma and comparing him to his father. I saw people say he faked the bond to protect tamlin or what not. I saw people make up theories for Clotho saying she was odd because she said she was going to give Gwyn the necklace but probably didnt....

That was my last straw. So yes naturally i did in fact shift to the Gwynriel/elucien side. It was easier. Instead of the bullies i saw cute videos of ´´Azriel and Gwyn singing´´ or ´´Elain and lucien picking flowers´´ it was all just so lighthearted and beautiful.

Although i think the fandom for G/A and E/L decreased because they are tired. Because i was tired too. I did not even want to enter acotar tiktok because i knew we would all be bashed for it. Dont get me wrong i find myself sometimes leaving comments on Elriel videos. Not the ones with a cute edit or fanart the ones the share false information or something i disagree with. I only hope for a civil talk and next thing i know, there is a whole gang of elriels trying to push their narrative on me without listening.

Honestly the ship wars have always existed but before Elucien was the calmer side. Although sadly they got roped into the mess of the G/A vs, A/E wars. WIthout a doubt on every single Elucien video, elriels never miss a step. It would be a cute video like a fanart of them and they will start being like ´´ElAinS So UNComFOrtabLE aROUnd hiM´ like you guys ask us why we ship elucien when mentioning this but its like you dont even want an answer you just want to disagree. We tell you and you flat out ignore it.

As much as i love Gwynriel/Elucien i cant help but miss the days were reading ACOTAR was for all the characters. When it was just to see my favorites like Nesta. When i just desperately wanted to get to the iconic epic scenes.

I know if e/riel was confirmed, Elriels would firstly shove it in Eluciens and gwynriels faces and then maybe celebrate the characters.

I know Gwynriels/eluciens would too and i honestly want to see none of that. Yes i do believe we are getting Gwynriel/Elucien but i would not want to make people feel bad for their ship. They by all means can still love elriel. So many people like feylin,nesris,Aelin x chaol,aelin x dorain, and obviously aelin x sam (my endgame if rowan never existed) dramoine,klaroline,stelena,stiles x malia, Jelly,Bellarke,clexa,Rory x those 4 other guys etc etc.

Main point, Can we all just do better? Yes i am talking about elriels for my sake and lots of others peoples sakes but to everyone PLEASE.

I know that wont work though even if i say it because im only one human hahah

What im going to say is we should tag all our posts to our preferred ship and probably always put anti to the ship we dont like. That way everything is divided and less toxic. Also i will be tagging nothing to do with ship wars because i want everyone to see haha but please be nice!

This is just my experience btw im sure Elriels have has their fair treatment of toxic Gwynriels/Eluciens

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dullahandyke · 15 days

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Hang on actually before I hit post limit.pinned post so I can edit this and have my tumblr thoughts even tho I'm post limited

6.40PM

Yup okay hit the post limit <3 new followers please know this is normal

6.47PM

Anonymous asked: did they put bugs in him again

Yknow it's hard to tell but I think they might have. Guys we need to get riku dewormed again, this keeps happening to him :(

Anonymous asked: I forgot I had notifs turned on for your blog . Oopsie daisy

HAHAAAAAAAA ANON I CACKLED.... flattered u have urgent coverage on which large surface I'm thinking abt being slammed into at any given time but ig this is an object lesson in paying too much attention to me or something

8.06PM

Listening to a queer history podcast and it's so funny they're explaining to me what yuri is... I know ❤

8.14PM

on my laptop now bcos i gotta study for this stupid test..d. and then afterwards theres a powerpoint im actually rlly gonna enjoy presenting but i gotta facking put it together, augh

8.51PM

niche complaint but it sucks shit when animanga do the 'character suddenly becomes hot as part of a daydream/joke' gag and they dont go full bishie. give that man a delicate jawline NOW!!!

9.13PM

really happy with this sticker on my laptop. whenever im feeling down i just rememebr that this man got a lobotomy

[ID: a black frame meme featuring Hajime Hinata from Super Danganronpa 2 at the chapter 1 cabin party, smiling and holding a glass of orange juice. It is captioned, "This man, got a lobotomy.]

9.18PM

whew im a sneezy girl. the sneezing sneasler. wait thats a pokemon. ritalin on friday unless i have a heart murmur

9.37PM

@effervescentleaf asked:

9.39PM

i know im constantly posting abt my beard but its still weird as hell to consider that i have a beard that other people can see. when people look at me they see androgyny. what the fuck. i keep being drawn to people with beards and make-up/long hair/jewelry/whatever the fuck else as my favourite examples of gender non-conformity and like. IM that. im that with my stupid eyeliner. what the shit

also that reminds me im not gonna have time to do my eyeliner before my class test tomorrow :/ now i Could just go without it bcos i'll have a presentation later in the day that i should probably be serious for. but where is the fun in that. i will be wearing a hawaiian shirt instead of a t-shirt and thats all that can be expected of me <3

9.55PM

i probs need to eat a proper meal but the call of pop tarts it is so great.... sighhhh i got the bread out the freezer for soup so ill see if thats defrosted. and if not. squints. cup noodles. kinda want the cup noodles anyway but the soup is gonna expire soon so i gotta be fuckinnn responsible and nutritious or whatever

sidenote i kind of rlly enjoy having just one long ledger of posts all day. kind of fun

11.51PM

Ugh fuck my gay life I gotta make a PowerPoint... I'm tired I'm a bit sick i gotta sleeeep... wanted to make it fancy but ig that's fucked :(

12.01AM

I saw a video of a cat and now I miss bubbles :( bubblesssss... I'm going home tomorrow tho so I'll see her then :)

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pancakeke · 2 months

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How do you post all of your thoughts all the time? If I post something on discord half the time I'll think it sounds cringe or if no one responds my brain will go "no one wants to hear what you have to say" even if I know that's not true

I never really thought much about it. possible reasons (that probably overlap at different times)

when i get really into a project or something i focus all my thoughts and energy on that and don't really notice other stuff.

I talk about a lot of hobby stuff that aren't everyone's thing. but I'm not going to stop talking about fun stuff I enjoy.

I multitask most of the time so it's easy for me to forget what all I was doing, like waiting on replies.

other stuff I'm anxious about makes my interactions with people online seem like less of an issue.

lately I'm too physically tired to keep track of much.

I've experienced plenty of weird criticisms that were baffling/unhinged so it's kind of pointless/impossible to care a ton about what people think.

people online are functionally illiterate also so I can't reasonably expect everyone to read and write words.

I use my blog like I'm talking out loud. I don't really expect responses, even if I explicitly ask for them.

(probably moat significant one) after experiencing bullshit from a couple of parasocial weirdos, I purposely made it difficult for anyone to talk to me for a long time. I'm normal about this stuff now but i think it still probably impacts the importance I place on people interacting with me.

I am more likely to express negative feelings by posting more so I can bitch vs posting less and worrying quietly. I like to complain lol

edit: also i think im funny. even if other people dont

#also my therapist thinks i have autism. maybe a factor #ask #blueberry-bubble-tea

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katastrophic-n3vulaa · 2 months

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the likelihood is no one cares, but im here to complain about my philosophy assessment.

so my school has a rule that the assessment notification needs to be given out at least 2 weeks before the due date, both hand-in and in-class assessments and assignments must abide by this

my philosophy teacher (who is AMAZING, but also the only philosophy teacher in the entire school, and he teaches elective philosophy and also ToK and other stuff for ~130 students, and my has 5 lessons a fortnight, each an hour long, and all the other students have that too, except 11 and 12s, who do more sometimes)

anyways, Dr. Hall is amazing but-

he mixed up the due date for my class' assessment w/ year 10s, so we got the notification 6 days from due date (tomorrow, 8/3).

but because he's amazing he halved the assessment. yay.

so all we needed to do was get references to answer a question we dont need to answer (yayayyayay)

the referencing was easy, and i did that all in class, but that was only the hand-in part of the assessment.

so the in-class bit is an evaluation of research methods and then what we call doing an OPVL of a source (origin, purpose, value, limitations)

ok- i'm good at opvls. but. what if words arent working tomorrow? so yeah.

we also get to take in the article that we are going to do the opvl for physically, but the printers have gone to shit, and also- the asshole that wrote the one i decided to do the opvl on (my other options were uni ads or some dude.) used SO MANY big and dumb words. like-ok. sure. i could just try and glue the meanings in my head overnight, but some days i dont remember to eat or drink so theres no way that'd work. so i put all the definitions in too. the problem is that the formatting on word is shit and a massive pain, so i just... copied the article into ao3 to get rid of all the unnecessary formatting (yay braincells)

but it also got rid of the formatting i wanted. :(

anyways so i redid all the formatting and definitions.

then i did my opvl on the side, but bc im basically incapable of doing notes that fuction as NOTES i pretty much did my entire opvl. which.

isnt allowed.

but im too tired now so imma edit it down in the morning. i hope.

see the masterpiece that looks depressingly short and i wish it looked like more but it doesnt so just know the struggle of doing this without adhd meds bc i had shit on in the afternoon:

(top block of text is the evaluation of research in actual notes that is incorrect bc all i did was google and scroll for ~20 minutes but i cant say that its bad marks. the left blocks of text in the left section-bit is the article. the bits on the right are the opvl. no idk why i posted this either.)

#no idk why i posted this either #adhd rambles and the immense want for someone to justify the fact i spent >2hours doing this #i wish i could take my adhd meds at night but the paediatrician said no bc then i wouldnt sleep and im not gonna be the one to tell her #that i have insomnia.#anyways #kat's rambles #have a good day and dont procrastinate as much as i did its a pain in the ass i got no dopamine rush it has failed me :(

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furymint · 5 months

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2023 Creator Reflection

ffxiv.

1. dance me to the end of love

this one was fun! i always like merging a character's outfit with the bg so i liked doing that again. picking the colors for elliots outfit was also enjoyable. ive wanted to make smth w that cover for a while

2. shame was still the tyrant of his life

i only wrote two nol and eli things this year and neither of them are finished. the first was a continuation of a scene where nol kisses elliot against the blue stained glass in his room--i once posted it but then i deleted it bc it made me feel woozy for its allusions to sex. i wanted to rebuild it and take a shot at it now that im comfortable writing n reading sex, but i never got very far. theres actually lots of nice parts! i just like nols dumb angsting the best!

3. valentine

i really wanted to focus on nol's eye here, but also not make it too obvious lol. i used a ps filter like a schmuck but i wanted it to be darker without making it even more difficult to see, so i took away their bodies and limited the colors to make it what it is.

4. amateur cracksmen

the second nol n eli wip, which doesnt have many interesting lines rn, was a raffles-inspired story where eli drags nol as his valet to a rival artist's house and tries to steal back the brooch that he bought from an underground dealer feat. much babbling abt the state of societal responsibility that war is supposed to bring

ffxvi.

1. herz an herz dir

i wrote some reflections about this one already here. i honestly was very (distressed voice) cant believe im writing pure fanfic for the first time in over ten years and lacked a lot of direction when i started bc uhhhhh terence has 8 and a half mins of screen time. i tried to convince myself that it's not much different than me stealing brucemont for my own evil devices, but the unique perspective of seeing quite so much fan content def influenced my interpretation. i wanted their relationship to be much more imbalanced from the get-go initially--dion using his power unintentionally and terence barely passing a thought abt it until later bc he's just so accustomed to obeying--but i ended up giving terence a lot more sway & ammunition in their argument. the breakfast bed thing is also smth im rly fond of.

2. mund an mund

there's also additional meta for this one here. i made a silly doodle abt it also. dion kept picking fights here! it honestly turned out how i expected. when i first started this fic, i was gonna have dion start out right in oriflamme and meet ter and kihel there, but i booted them to northreach so i could have this stretch of conflict. i think it's like. Bad Pacing. technically. if i still believe the conflict introduced in the next chapter is the core one, that is. which i sorrrrta do. but i dont care bc i rly like the visual of kihel laying in dion's lap and getting to put a gun on the wall w ahmed.

3. eines atems

its been two months since the last chapter and this chapter is humiliatingly not written. i have all my scrambled notes and scenes that i jotted down in between the first two chapters, so i have a full direction, but it's been really difficult to write lately. ive been devoting all my time to trying to recoup my mental health and work on my teredio secret santa. ill start next year with this wip as a priority, so for now i only have the photoshop edit for it. kihel is holding terence's hand--it's his pov turn.

overall i didnt like this year very much. i didn't read, create, research or do a lot even though i tried to. i became really disconnected from all of my friends bc im too tired to stay for rp or hold online conversations. at this point, i dont play ffxiv at all except the few times i managed to rp a little. i moved into nanny's house and have my own space, but don't have the presence of mind to do anything about my pc, books, and so on, although i did make a lot of progress rewrapping my books w fresh wraps and some other things. my plans for next year are to reach out to a couple of my friends, build my pc, relearn + rebuild + relaunch my queer lit blog on open source code, survive school, and rediscover the productivity ive lost the past few years.

teredio has helped me a LOT to find community, inspiration, and art in my loneliest year yet. im very proud of my fic and grateful every day to the ppl who have reached out to me about liking it. even if im sorry about my productivity rate in comparison to how many extraordinary writers there are in the ship's fandom, i know i have to be easy on myself to relearn how to write, create a writing schedule that works for me, and stop punishing myself when i cant get the words out.

past reflections: 2017 | 2018 | 2019 | 2020 | 2021 | 2022

#ngl writing this out made me feel like #i reopened a lot of grief about my ability to work and create #and i need to walk away from it before i cry even more lol #thank u to my fc for still being the place #i love to visit when i wake up #even though all of us a struggling a lot #with life and ingame motivation #brianna babbles

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