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#ig that happens when u find out that a lot of ppl in ur last big fandom hate ur ass and
zzariyo · 5 months
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ok that’s what I’m posting for now lmaooo
Maybe I’ll try to post things as I make them here, too…but no promises. Even though I used tumblr predominantly for years and years..it feels like a forbidden space now WHOOPS.
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baekhvuns · 2 years
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HAIII JWKSJWJNS THIS IS A VERY LATE REPKY TO UR REPLY BUT SJSJJSJS
I HAVENT WZTCHED VRIDGERTON YET😎 I FEEL LIKE IM MISSING OUT KN A LOT I THINK I SHOULD WATCH IT😗 when i have more free time😭 its been a year since i last watched a series/drama i think i need to watch the latest ones😭
WHAT EAF U JUST DO A BOXER SANHWA JEKDLWLS I READ SMTH ABOUT POLY IN UR PREV ASKS🤪🤪 EHEEEE I MEAN IF U CANT CHOOSE ONE FROM THE TWO WHY NOT DO BOTH😚😚
pls IM SCARED TO DO NURSING😭😭😭 bUT ITS WHAT MY GRANDMA TOLD ME TO DO AND I WAS FINE WITH JUST FOLLOWING WHAT SHE SAYS BCS I HAVE NO PLANS💀 HWJZJWMDKS IM OKAY WITH SCIENCE TOO SO IG ITS FINE AHSHAHHSHSHSHSHSHHAA FUCK I DONT THINK IM GOING TO SURVIVE NURSING🤪🤪 I SWEAR SOMETIMES I LOVE TEACHEES BCS THEYRE SWEET NSHIT BUT SOMETIMES THEY MAKE THINGS HARDER FOR US AND BLAME US WHY WE CANT ANSWER THE FUCKING QUIZ saalute to those teachers working hard esp this pandemic<33 BUT I SWEARRRR THEM NOT ROUNDING OFF UR GRADE IS THE MOST PETTY THING THEY COULD DO🙄
PLSSS HWA RIDING A HORSE😭😭😭 REMINDS ME OF SANNIE AS EUGENE FROM TANGLED OMG WIKDKQNDJWJD I REMEMBER PPL ACTUALLY GOING BONKERS TALKING ABT IT
MINGI AND HONGJOONG HAVE CAKE AND TIDDIES WDYM🤨🤨 WHJZJWJDJW SANNIE USED TO NOT HAVE AN ASS THO PLS seonghwas ass changes sizes depending on the day😭😭😭 HIS ASS DURING THAT ONE THE REAL STAGE WAS THICK IDK WHAT HAPPENED OVERNIGHT
PLEASEEE I WAS PROBABLY DESPERATE TO HAVE A CRUSH BCS I JAVENT HAD ONE EVER SINCE I STARTED GETTING INTO KPOP WHICH WAS LIKE,, 5YRS AGO?? IDK BUT IT WAS A WHILE AGO ALRDY jus saw one attracted irl dude then decided i had feelings for them pleek i look DESPERATE🤪🤪🤪
PLSSS ETL MOVIES MAKE ME WANT TO FUCKING BURN MYSELF WITH ICE😭😭 may sound childish but i usually watch cartoon shows💀 BUT KELZLAKSKS WHEN I DK WATCH MOVIES WITH ACTUAL HUMANS IEODKDKD ITS EITHER I STOP WATCHING HALFWAY OR SLEEP IN THE MIDDLE OF WATCHING IXKWKXMJS so i jus end up watching movie commentaries on yt bcs they play some scenes from the movies so i still get the whole plot😗
i alsso find it funny how ur asks are just bouncing from sannie to hwa😭😭😭 CMONNNN BOXER SANNIE🤪🤪🤪 OR MAYBE BOXER SANHWA IF UR FEELING LIKE DOING SMTH POLY
THE GRIP SANNIES CONCEPT OHOTO FOR BOXER HAS ON ME IS✊✊✊
NWZKQKSQ ALSO I JUST HAD AN OUTING QITH MY COUSINs TODAY AND IT WAS FUCKING HOT I REGRET WEARING TIGHT CLOTHES I WAS SWEATING BUCKETS🤪🤪but i also am too shy to wear loose tops with shorts pleek🤪 literally had to take a bath 4 times today💀💀 my fucking body needs a lot of moisturizng
i jus saw someone talk abt restaurant owner or chef woo with food critic(?) reader iS THAT WHAT THEYRE CALLED😭😭 like thosepeople who give reviews on restayrqnts and their food ekkzjwjxje IDK😭😭😭
HOPE UR HAVING/ U HAD A GREAT DAYYYY<33 really do appreciate u doing ur best in answering all of our asks😭✊ hope u take time to relax and chill once in a while too<3 hope life isnt too hard on u😭😭 stay safe n healthy!!
-🍤
HI!!
HAIII JWKSJWJNS THIS IS A VERY LATE REPKY TO UR REPLY BUT SJSJJSJS
BRKWHD NO WORRIES TAKE UR TIME!!
I HAVENT WZTCHED VRIDGERTON YET😎 I FEEL LIKE IM MISSING OUT KN A LOT I THINK I SHOULD WATCH IT😗 when i have more free time😭 its been a year since i last watched a series/drama i think i need to watch the latest ones😭
PLS WATCH IT PLS DO PLS DO IM SCREAMING I CANR STOP THINKIMG ABT IT FBENFHKE “you are the bane of my existence, the object of all my desires.” im yours. PLS WATCH IT SHRIMP PLS
WHAT EAF U JUST DO A BOXER SANHWA JEKDLWLS I READ SMTH ABOUT POLY IN UR PREV ASKS🤪🤪 EHEEEE I MEAN IF U CANT CHOOSE ONE FROM THE TWO WHY NOT DO BOTH😚😚
FBWNFBMWBDMWDBWKHDKW STOP PUTTING THIS IN MY MIND PLS 😭😭😭 POLY BOXER SANHWA X READER WOUKD KILL ME TO WRITE
pls IM SCARED TO DO NURSING😭😭😭 bUT ITS WHAT MY GRANDMA TOLD ME TO DO AND I WAS FINE WITH JUST FOLLOWING WHAT SHE SAYS BCS I HAVE NO PLANS💀 HWJZJWMDKS IM OKAY WITH SCIENCE TOO SO IG ITS FINE AHSHAHHSHSHSHSHSHHAA FUCK I DONT THINK IM GOING TO SURVIVE NURSING🤪🤪 I SWEAR SOMETIMES I LOVE TEACHEES BCS THEYRE SWEET NSHIT BUT SOMETIMES THEY MAKE THINGS HARDER FOR US AND BLAME US WHY WE CANT ANSWER THE FUCKING QUIZ saalute to those teachers working hard esp this pandemic<33 BUT I SWEARRRR THEM NOT ROUNDING OFF UR GRADE IS THE MOST PETTY THING THEY COULD DO🙄
RHQKDHWKDHWK WAS UR CAREER ALSO DECIDED 😭😭😭 ME TO BEST FRIEND FBWKFHWK GOOD LUCK WITH NURSING AT LEAST U GET THE BAG ✊🏼✊🏼✊🏼 no fr some teachers 🔫 like bro aren’t u like 40 having beef with a 15 yo 🤨 BRWNBDKW NO ITS SO PETTY I WAS CRYING ABT IT IVE NEVER CRIED OVER GRADES BUT THIS ONE I 😭🔫
PLSSS HWA RIDING A HORSE😭😭😭 REMINDS ME OF SANNIE AS EUGENE FROM TANGLED OMG WIKDKQNDJWJD I REMEMBER PPL ACTUALLY GOING BONKERS TALKING ABT IT
DBWMDBWK STOP IT STOP IT 😭😭😭😭 SAN AS FLYNN RIDER IM GONNA CRY START SOBBINF STOP SHRIMP
MINGI AND HONGJOONG HAVE CAKE AND TIDDIES WDYM🤨🤨 WHJZJWJDJW SANNIE USED TO NOT HAVE AN ASS THO PLS seonghwas ass changes sizes depending on the day😭😭😭 HIS ASS DURING THAT ONE THE REAL STAGE WAS THICK IDK WHAT HAPPENED OVERNIGHT
MINGI IS BUILT SO FINE 😩😩😩 i don’t wanna talk abt hongjoong. NO. BFKWDJWK SAN HAS ASS ONE DAY THE OTHER DAY ITS GONE 😭😭😭 seonghwa has ass on a good day, he’s like the, tall in the morning and shirt at night but with ass yk
PLEASEEE I WAS PROBABLY DESPERATE TO HAVE A CRUSH BCS I JAVENT HAD ONE EVER SINCE I STARTED GETTING INTO KPOP WHICH WAS LIKE,, 5YRS AGO?? IDK BUT IT WAS A WHILE AGO ALRDY jus saw one attracted irl dude then decided i had feelings for them pleek i look DESPERATE🤪🤪🤪
LMFAOOOO DESPERATE OR TOUCH STARVED 😭😭😭😭😭 FBWMDJWBDEK KPOP RLY FUCKED EVERYONE UP BAD DBDB
PLSSS ETL MOVIES MAKE ME WANT TO FUCKING BURN MYSELF WITH ICE😭😭 may sound childish but i usually watch cartoon shows💀 BUT KELZLAKSKS WHEN I DK WATCH MOVIES WITH ACTUAL HUMANS IEODKDKD ITS EITHER I STOP WATCHING HALFWAY OR SLEEP IN THE MIDDLE OF WATCHING IXKWKXMJS so i jus end up watching movie commentaries on yt bcs they play some scenes from the movies so i still get the whole plot😗
MO BC SAME I LOVE ETL MOVIES OR SHOWS,,, best friend me too i be watching miraculous lady bug dbdbdbdb or anything on the disney or nicktv <3 FBWNDBWK YEAH MOVIE COMMENTARIES over movies u have not watched and still get the entire thing >>>> u should watch dylansintrouble he does amazing ones fbwndbdn
i alsso find it funny how ur asks are just bouncing from sannie to hwa😭😭😭 CMONNNN BOXER SANNIE🤪🤪🤪 OR MAYBE BOXER SANHWA IF UR FEELING LIKE DOING SMTH POLY
LMFAOOOO STOP IT STOP 😭😭😭😭 DONT CONVINCE ME INTO THIS
THE GRIP SANNIES CONCEPT OHOTO FOR BOXER HAS ON ME IS✊✊✊
NO FR 😭😭😭😭 I ALMOST CHANGED MY BIAS
NWZKQKSQ ALSO I JUST HAD AN OUTING QITH MY COUSINs TODAY AND IT WAS FUCKING HOT I REGRET WEARING TIGHT CLOTHES I WAS SWEATING BUCKETS🤪🤪but i also am too shy to wear loose tops with shorts pleek🤪 literally had to take a bath 4 times today💀💀 my fucking body needs a lot of moisturizng
FBWMBDWMDBWK BATH 4 TIMES BEST FRIEND ARE YOU OKAY 😭😭😭😭😭
i jus saw someone talk abt restaurant owner or chef woo with food critic(?) reader iS THAT WHAT THEYRE CALLED😭😭 like thosepeople who give reviews on restayrqnts and their food ekkzjwjxje IDK😭😭😭
chef woo au,,,,, what do u think abt rival food major woo x reader
HOPE UR HAVING/ U HAD A GREAT DAYYYY<33 really do appreciate u doing ur best in answering all of our asks😭✊ hope u take time to relax and chill once in a while too<3 hope life isnt too hard on u😭😭 stay safe n healthy!!
I AM THANK U !!! I HOPW U HAVE A GOOD ONE TOO!!! LMFAOOOO THANK U 😭😭😭 i have no friends so sO U KNOW IM PUTTING ALL MY BAEKHVUSSY IN THIS DBDBD
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softspt · 3 years
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duke barrow, 24, mechanic/dealer —
serial optimist turned “i’m trying to be dark and broody” but it doesn’t really ever work because he’s like my smile’s too nice .. i gotta show it off
his bio mom popped him out handed him as a literal 3 minute old to teresa barrow and said peace i’m outta here u deal with him now ? didn’t realize he was adopted until he was like 17 and someone said he wasn’t white and he cried for three hours upon finding this out and he was like did the rest of u know ? to his siblings
got left at the altar and was like cool ❤️i’m gonna go to mexico and drown myself in tequila ❤️but also lit up a joint on the steps of the church right after and he was scared of the pastor so he was like alright i’ll let the heat die down a little
big heart bigger butt .. seriously he squats and hip thrusts for a reason
let lilian barrow pierce his eyebrow when he was 17 and it got infected and now he has a scar on his brow... will never tell the story of how he actually got it so he just looks off into the distance like he’s seen some shit
currently in his taylor swift reputation era .. sort of .. he’s trying to figure out how to settle back into miriam’s well but he’s doing that by being half a disaster and half a good catholic boy who goes to church every sunday .. duality of man
has a lot of guilt over being part of the group that burned down factory accidentally? thinks it’s cool that people think it was a political statement when really it was a big accident .. so he’s dealing w all that too
wanted plots:
please make more of the group that burned down the factory! they’ve got a weird sort of found family vibe, even though half of them ditched town after it happened (duke lasted 6 months, and then he got left at the altar and he was like righttttt i’m out)? and now they’re all sweating a lot because it’s been two years and they’re all afraid to be too confident ? or maybe some ppl are more confident and the others are like will u shut the fuck up ? WHO knows let’s discuss ..
maybe some of his ex-fiancée’s family? she ditched town to like see the world or something, but i feel like duke was fairly close to her family, and it’s probably very awkward and uncomfortable for everyone involved but he just wants to be invited to the bbq still .. please ..
some clients? or other dealers? he’s been dealing sort of on and off since he was in high school and really only deals weed and maybe pills. thinks he’ll go to hell if he deals anything else ( like this .. will be the thing .. that sends him there .. ) so like a lil morality with ur drugs ig !!
idk someone to set off illegal fireworks and do stupid reckless things with .. he needs constant attention and friendship otherwise he’ll have to have a single thought and i really think it would be too much for his brain to handle
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diffuserlover · 3 years
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hii!! thank u so much for all ur hard work running this blog love <3 i was wondering if i could get a ship for txt, skz and enha?
i'm an '01 liner, leo is my sign and i'm an enfp. i don't really feel comfortable being shipped w anyone more than 2 yrs younger than me so pls none of that ! but otherwise age doesn't rlly matter to me! my hobbies include music (actually this is more than a hobby, i actually major in music in college! i'm a piano performance major hehe), writing stories, and also just going on spontaneous adventures w my friends. all of my favorite pre-pandemic memories all involve me and my friends just deciding last minute to go somewhere after school or on the weekends. i especially liked going bowling at this one local place, we'd do that a lot and then go get ice cream afterwards at our favorite place! i also love going out to eat w ppl, especially checking out new places!! ig u could say i'm a foodie? personality wise, i am pretty extroverted and hate being alone, i definitely get my energy from being around ppl. ppl tell me that i am very approachable, and i'm pretty comfortable talking to new ppl too. i'm often the one in my friend group who asks the questions for my introverted friends if u know what i mean lol also i make a lot of random noises all the time, esp when i get excited abt things! and i tend to have poor volume control, ppl have told me its annoying sometimes lol so i'm working on it! i'm a pretty "go with the flow" type of guy too, i'm pretty adaptable to any situation/circumstance. as for love language, overly-clingy ppl tend to drive me away bc i'm not a touchy type person. i also don't rlly like the idea of "traditional" dates, rather i just look for someone who would share my love for spontaneous adventure and want to go do stupid things w me hehe. also i would rlly like someone who would share my passion of music w me, since it's a pretty big part of my life (tho i bet it is for all these boys bc they are idols after all lol). like my dream date would be either going to a pop concert and the both of us screaming our voices out or going to an orchestra concert and the both of us secretly nerding out in our seats whenever smth cool happens in the piece hehehe (and then of course going to get food afterwards!!)
that's it, i hope it's not too much! thank u for running this blog love i hope u are happy amd healthy <3
Hii! Thank you so much for requesting!! Thank you so much for your nice word omggg😭 I hope your happy and healthy as well!! So sorry for the late reply:)
Txt:
I ship you with…
Heuningkai
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You and Heuningkai are the introvert and extrovert couple😄
I feel like he’s incredibly proud of you for majoring in music and going to school for music🥰
Heuningkai likes to surprise you with little dates and gifts☺️
The surprise dates are 9 times out of 10 just him at your door with two tubs of ice cream for you both😆
You guys go out for a lot of your dates because of all of the things you can do together🤗
You and Heuningkai are loud, you guys are always laughing and yelling(the guys have told you guys to be quiet on multiple occasions)🤣
Heuningkai respects that you aren’t a overly touchy person so he doesn’t do much skin ship with you😊
Overall you and Heuningkai are very cute together😇
Stray kids:
I ship you with….
Chan
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I feel like you and Chan is that couple that everyone likes and everyone wants to hang out with🤗
Double dates are a common thing with the other guys and their s/o’s☺️
Chan is overly proud of you for majoring in music and going to school for something you lov🥺
He always asks to help you and asks you to help him with songs😊
Your opinion means a lot to him especially when it comes to his music🙂
You guys go out to eat a lot to try new things and to just get out of the house😚
He finds you so adorable when you get excited over things🥰
Chan loves your smile😁
Overall you and Chan are literal couple goals🥺
Enhypen:
I ship you with….
Heeseung
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You and Heeseung are a lazy yet not lazy couple😁
You guys will walk to get food but then bring it home to eat it☺️
Your dates are often random, one morning you will wake up to a text from him asking if you want to go somewhere 😇
Music is a big part of both of your lives and is probably how you guys initially connected🥰
Heeseung loves to “surprise” you with tickets to their concerts, though you always find out before hand🤣
For dates you mainly eat, you both are low key foodies😆
Extroverts and introverts go best together🙂
I feel like Heeseung matches your ideal type very well😊
Overall, You guys have a very comfortable and chill relationship🤗
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durogatorymortain · 3 years
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thank you for tagging me @waybaben @natesewell @raleighcarrera !!! 💞
rules: answer 30 questions and tag 20 blogs you are contractually obligated to know better!
i am 100% sure that everyone i would think to tag has been tagged already but if you see this and want to do it dm me and i’ll formally tag u here <3
name/nickname: bailey, no nickname
gender: cis woman (she/her) but gender is weird
star sign: taurus ! most ppl aren’t surprised by that lmfao
height: 5’3 but my internet friends say i have tall energy so that’s all that matters
birthday: may 20
lucky number: 7
when did you create this blog: literally this tuesday FNFJNDFHBDJS
what do i post: mostly reblog art ? honestly i have no idea what the twc fandom does in between waiting for mishka to release new books (aside from whitewash and argue) but ig i’ll find out soon
last thing i googled: how to add a read more on tumblr mobile bc i don’t post from my phone too often lmfaoo
do i get asks: i have yet to get an ask on this blog yet 💔 who tryna be my first
why did i choose my url: i’m an adam romancer and i’m not proud
my current projects and wips: ummm so there’s some appreciation weeks for choices happening soon that i’m working on stuff for, but as for twc, i’m working on this edit for my detective and i hope to post the PSD on here so other ppl can use it so stay tuned ig lmfao
favorite artist(s) (atm): meg thee stallion, my top and loml. britney spears ofc and uhhh i listen to a lot of alt rock as well but i’m spacing out rn
song stuck in my head: roaring 20s by flo milli. do ur self a favor and listen to it rn
favorite song: umm it always changes but rn ‘if you seek amy’ by britney spears ..... no song has had the same cultural impact as that
last movie: home alone 2: lost in new york aka the best home alone movie no i won’t argue this
last show: i watched the first episode of wandavision ♥️
favorite food: i’m spacing rn but i like a lot of fruit!!! cherries, plums, and blueberries to name a few
food i hate: honestly i’m a pretty picky eater this is hard to answer
favorite color: pink 💕
favorite animal: dogs i think they can smell my depression so they love me lmfao but also uh elephants ig they’re cute
what i’m currently wearing: wouldn’t you like to know 🤪 lmfao a hoodie, sweatpants, and crocs i’m v comfortable rn
dream job: i want to be a screenwriter !!!! or just work in film in general
dream trip: 2020 was my graduation year so my family was gonna go to prague and a few other countries last summer rip . i hope we can go soon !
currently reading: ummmmm so you see i’m in between books right now .... FBJDBFHEJDHS no but the next book i’m gonna read is called a plague on your houses. it’s about the fires that ravaged communities of color in nyc in the 70s and 80s. i’m hoping it’s a good book
currently thinking about: how i need a job 💔
nationality: american
fun fact: sophie turner told me i was hot
top three fictional universes: monster inc. cinematic universe, the emperors new groove cinematic universe, wizards of waverly place / suite life / hannah montana / that’s so raven universe. yes these are my actual answers no i’m not taking any questions
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please dont reblog this
i dont have many ppl to talk to. so here i am, screaming into the void that is my tumblr again.
im mostly posting this because im alone. im really really fucking alone. and im hoping i might, idfk, make a solid, trustable connection from tumblr??? idfk. im alone in the world.
please dont reblog this
cw family issues, su*cidality, abandonment, abuse, childhood abuse, trauma, being alone in the world
i have no one to go to. my entire life since i was a baby all ive ever been able to do is survive at the skin of my teeth. and here i am, 20, breathing, trying so fucking hard to live and, idk if im succeeding. im doing my film shit which is cool but. im alone. im on my own. im alone in the world. i never had parents. like, obviously i had parents, but they were never parents, dyou know what i mean? like the people who genetically made me were around but they were abusing me or just being awful or refusing to listen to me about what i needed from them, from their parenthood. 
i had a conversation with my mom yesterday (after two days of not being able to get a hold of her and really really needing to) and i was basically just like ‘why cant you be my mom’ and she was like ‘i am your mom’ and i was like ‘well, yeah, but youre not--you cant--you dont mother me. and you dont mother me in the ways i need you to.’ and she was like ‘what does that look like to you?’ and i said ‘someone who i can turn to, always, someone who has my back no matter what, someone who respects me and what i need and who listens to me and trusts my experience and, yeah, someone who i can turn to always’ and she said ‘i mean i can talk with you on the phone, i can tell you what i think you should do, i can try to give you advice from my experience, but as far as someone having your back 24/7 always, i cant do that’ and we ended up talking about how im an adult now - and she was talking about it in the sense of ‘youre a grown man now, you dont need your mom like that anymore’ - and im like ‘ya, i am basically a grown man but i still need my mom. i still need parents.’ and i think im gonna end up cutting contact with her again because its too hard to simultaneously grieve her not being the mom i need and also talk to her. if im not talking to her then i can deal with the idea that i dont have a mother, that i dont have parents and i probably never will.
ive never really had people. i never really had friends when i was a child and i dont really have friends now. maybe its cause im trans, maybe its cause im autistic, maybe its cause im mixed, i dont know, but generally people in the world dont like me or it takes them a long time to not hate me. it doesnt matter why right now the point is i never had people (like, a support system) and i dont now. 
so yeah im pretty seriously thinking about killing myself (or, trying to anyway). i dont wanna die but ive spent my whole life trying to just. be a person. and find contentment. and everything in my life ends up going awful or causing me a lot of trouble at some point or another. ive come to expect it. whenever anything happens in my life im just like ‘when will this go wrong. how long will it take this time.’ and im alone. im just fucking on my own. and i know theres lots of people who are and have been more alone than i am/have been and i admire these people so fucking much like GO YOU!! YOUFUCKING DID IT!!! HELL YEAH! im so proud of u. for real, i have so much respect for all yall reading this who have made it through shit and made it through being alone in the world. you fucking got this. youre doing it. good fucking job!!!!! ✨ but then. idk ig it doesnt take away from this being incredibly fucking difficult for me. pretty much everything in my life was fucked from birth to age 18 and now over half of everything in my life is fucked. which is better, for sure, but its still. ive never had a chance. idk it just seems to me like it doesnt matter. i can try and try and do all the therapies and take all the psych meds a psychiatrist might give me and i can meditate all the time. it just seems like im Doomed. (WOW i sound dumb and childish) like ik logically this is probably incorrect, that im not actually just.. doomed but thats how it feels. whenever a good thing happens im just waiting for it to collapse on me. and usually it does in way or another. generally not because of anything ive done or havent done, it just ends up being shit.
and then. ive never had anyone. i dont have anyone. im alone in the world. like its not that im ignoring people i do have or choosing to omit them from my mind right now. i have a singular friend in the place where i live; my other two friends both live in the states. i live with someone who was a support for me until like last ... july or so, i think, who now makes me feel like shit (they arent being malicious its just a bunch of issues in our relationship. theres more on that in stuff ive posted before, if you feel like digging through my posts for a while go ahead and youll find more on that) and i have like 5% (out of 100%) trust for them. i have a therapist who i see once a week and ik shes invested in me, but thats her job. and i cant just call her whenever i want. i have several people for film stuff but theyre either just casual pals and then colleagues or just colleagues. i know a lot of people, who dont really show any investment in me as a person or their relationship with me and who i dont really click well with. and thats it. 
and im so. im so in love with Film. all of it. (not The Film Industry obviously.) im so fucking in love with it. the only real concrete reason that i wont end up killing myself in the next like month or two is because Film. and i just. need. people. i need parents. or something. fuck.
i think part of this is probably the long-term ramifications of ongoing childhood sexual, physical, and psychological abuse and never really having good, consistent support cause id be surprised if that didnt fuck with my brain (and, yk, untreated severe childhood brain damage from tbis beginning at less than a year old). but it doesnt really matter does it. ive been through the shit time and again and its not like anyone has appeared and been like ‘hello, i see you never had parents, this is who i am, would you like to get to know each other for a while and maybe i could be your mom?’ cause thats literally what i need. i need parents. like i know theres a thing of ‘if you didnt have parents then you cant undo that damage’ but like idk. if someone has a bunch of unhealed broken bones that got broken years ago that are now causing them a lot of pain you wouldnt just be like ‘sorry, i see youre in trouble from this shit, but because it happened years ago theres nothing we can do’ cause there is??? i forget how i was gonna say this before but like. i didnt have parents. with the ‘parents’ i had its a scientific anomaly i lived past age three. i refuse to believe that having Good Parents and a Good Support System now would do nothing for me. cause it would. 
im also facing impending homelessness due to a) welfare/disability programs not giving you enough to live off and b) not having a roommate/not having support systems/not having people. so that doesnt help.
i dont know how to do this. im on my own. im doing all i can. ive reached out to everyone i feel like i could reach out to and. im on my own.
help. i guess. idk what that means but im, once again, at an incredibly fucking AWFUL point in my life and i need help. i doubt anyone will be able to but. if youre able to then. idk. do something. ik that i sound desperate and pitiful and i literally dont care at all because i literally am desperate for support and i literally am at - ANOTHER - extremely low point in my life and its pitiful. im cringing at myself actually posting this because its like ‘you think youre actually find what you need via a tumblr post? where are you? cause thats not real life dude’ but i dont fucking have people to talk to (as you have already understood 🙃) and im tired and tired and tired and tired.
if you took the time to read this i thank you and i hope ur day is going vvv well
please dont reblog this!!
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knoxhq · 4 years
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► ( rudy pankow & cis male ) according to the school’s records, knox drury is a 22-YEAR-OLD senior studying political science, and he lives over in moriarty. he is a gemini, so that must be why others describe him as dignified, humorous, cowardly and naive. when i see him, i’m reminded of walking into class an hour late with sunglasses on, the feeling of anticipation as you wait for a firework to fully blossom, the sound of party music leaking through the walls of a bathroom. ( gibby, 20, they/them, est. ) ◄
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hello everyone !! so i won’t even lie to u guys, i am NERVOUS and it’s literally only bc this is the first group i’ve joined in so long like dfdhkjsfjad the last group i was in was almost a year ago but i ended up having to leave due to personal reasons and didn’t get to write so like !!! idk i’m excited !! anyways w that in mind, pls bARE with me bc i have like one (1) braincell and i forgot how to write intros. anyways enough of me rambling, lemme give you knox !!
also this is a bad intro pls dont judge me im trying 2 like. rewrite what i had b4 the storm took it out n like, i lost the braincell
basics. 
full name: knox hale drury.
nicknames: drury.
age: twenty two.
gender and pronouns: cis male and he/him
sexual & romantic orientations: bisexual, biromantic, femme leaning.
major: political science.
housing: moriarty.
backstory.
triggers: implied bullying, police and incarceration ( dw i didn’t make him jj 2.0 ).
nobody gets to pick their beginnings. it’s something that people tell knox all the time, hell, it’s plastered in every stupid coming of age movie, book, film, everything he’s ever seen. you don’t pick who your born into, you don’t pick who you get to be. and to an extent, he does think that this is true but he can’t help but wonder if maybe, if people could pick, if they’d pick differently. because he knows he certainly would pick differently.
it’s not that he even came from a bad home - hell no, he had the most loving family ever. his mother was a saint, a warm sensation bubbling up in his chest when he thinks about her warm cookies or the way she tried to still tuck him in even as a teenager. his father had his flaws, we all do, but he was a good and honest man. hardworking, he showed knox what that stupid american dream is that everyone likes to preach about. 
no, it had nothing to do with them but rather the overall opinion on him and his family. see, the drury’s weren’t well liked - they were seen as lowlives and as shady, the kind of people who you’d only go to if you wanted to get stabbed in the back. generations of drury’s fit this narrative but no, his father was determined to change that. and so was he, even if nobody around him seemed to want to give him a chance. 
knox would go throughout school with this name attached to him like a dagger to his throat - whisperings in the hallway of, “oh, my mom said the drury boy might be steal things if you let him over,” and other random, rude remarks. of course, the people that get close to him know better - they see him for who he really is.
that person is knox. he’s a golden light, often more selfless than the rich pricks who run that small town. he’d give his jacket or umbrella to people even if they didn’t ask if it just so happened to be raining outside, and despite the fact that his family didn’t have a lot, he’d still go out of his way to try to give when he could. 
he eventually graduated high school - one of the top people in his class due to his father’s encouragement, and after a lot of debate, settled on attending haddon university - miles away from that sweet, small little hometown he knew, but a fresh start where he didn’t have to work for anything. he could just go in being him, with nobody attaching a new narrative to him. it was what he wanted, what he dreamed of.
and he loved it. his first semester there was memorable as he found himself surrounded by new friends and people he even considered family. back home, however, things were slipping.
the drury family was never rich, ever by any means, but business was low. nobody wanted to go there, fearing that his father was just as shady as his grandfather. as things got worse, his father had to resort to other needs - stealing, lying about taxes, and doing everything he could to try to make it by. 
it finally caught up to him when knox came home for spring break - red and blue lights flashing outside as loud noises went on throughout the house, until finally someone swung knox’s door open and briefly blinded him with a flashlight, demanding to know where his father was. by the time knox got a grasp on the situation, his father was being rushed off in the back of a cop car. 
he plead guilty almost immediately and for the next few months, knox did school from home to stay with his mother. it was then that he switched his major from what had initially been just a vague, business degree to political science in hopes of going into law after getting that degree - a way of changing things, of helping people so they never got to that point. 
for now though, he’s gone back to haddon’s campus where he study’s away and occasionally finds himself slipping and partying, glasses always covering his eyes as he slinks back class, getting almost nO sleep every night.
study.
so i need u to know right now... knox is baby, FDSHJDFSHAJK
like he’s not by any means like he’s kinda a gross dude like, absolutely randomly burps n is like lol oops n shit, very little manners, will grab clothes off of the floor to put them on kind of man BUT LIKE as a whole ?? he means very well FDSJFAHJ he’s very gentle and will sit there and admire flowers on a bush and then get mad if u pick one bc ur hurting it like. he’s baby.
he also is very loyal to the ppl he’s friends w tbh like. damn he will never leave ur side
that also makes him kinda... super, actually, naive. you see, while knox is incredibly loyal, he often finds himself ignoring signs of toxicity for the sake of preserving a friendship - he fights for people who won’t fight for him, he lets people back in too easily, he just. he sees the good in everyone, even if there isn’t any good.
regardless, he’s not easy to just... manipulate to an extent. while he’ll fall for you being innocent, you can’t ever try to make him think he’s something he’s not - he knows his intentions and he knows they’re usually pure and he’s not gonna fold for anyone if it comes down to him or them. 
bt like again he’s baby
like i dont think he ever gets mad but damn when he does its probs scary as shit like bc he nEVER gets mad !!! hes like. a golden retriever ig
if u cannot tell im trying really hard not to make him too much like jj bc i realize that might be a big thing ppl do n i dont think jj is baby bt like. knox? knox is baby DSFHJKFDHKJ 
he’s just. idk. he’s very protective and cares about his friends a lot and will walk you home even if you went to HIS place and like is always ready to give you a jacket if it’s raining and he’s just lowkey a big, kinda dumb at times, teddy bear and i think that’s valid tyvm 
wanted connections.
friends. — please. knox will lOVE ur muses just let him be their friend tyvm plus he’s a bit of a social butterfly now and i think he’d honestly have a lot of friends.
best friend. — i’m gonna keep this to one muse bc idk i think it’d be really cute if knox got to have his own like, ride or die where they care abt him as much as he cares about them and they’re always there for each other and like !!! that’s cute !!! also found family trope bc i think that is.. again, kyoot, ty
frienemies. — so these are always like, super fun to plot out and i think there’s a lot to work w here... like give me ppl who are happy that knox is loyal and would defend them but would push knox to the side n not do the same for him... also friendships where knox fucked up ?? where knox, despite his goodness, couldn’t keep his mouth shut and revealed a secret to their friend group bc u see he can kinda be a gossip fsjfdaskj. idk there’s a lot u can do n i’d love to brainstorm!
enemies. — pls. like. we can brainstorm this too so i dont just ramble but pLEASE?? please.
flings. — honestly romantic ships are not the point of rps but romantic flings and stuff can be really fun to plot and i love getting soft about them so like ?? idk dude lets fling it up n have muses date for two weeks n then break up like thats swexi, dramatic, 10/10
exes. — i mean this is kind of like flings but i have an idea... give me an ex of knox’s who really was like. everything knox wanted. hell, the two had a really good relationship - they were in love and etc etc gushy details but they ended up breaking up bc they just. they weren’t meant to be! as sad as it is like it was as simple as that! and then the angst comes in after they break up bc god they still love each other so much but they just aren’t meant to be and they see them with other people and oh it just hurts but like, bonus points if they manage to become good friends even after this !! (sidenote, idk i wouldn’t want this to be a full ship tht gets back together bc idk i think there’s a bittersweetness in stuff like this n its just. like. its ok !!! idk !!! )
roommates. — and they were roomates- fdshjkfdsahjk
other things. — honestly these are half assed plots but i’m down for anything !!! i’m still fleshing out knox a lil too bc i really did make him on the spot so pls bare w me :)
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feelhuman · 4 years
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ʻ   /   wow ,   i  am  so  excited  to  introduce   jessica delaunchy   to  our  current  students  at  cape  coral .   she  is  extremely  excited  to  join   track / field  &  latin .   coming  in  as  a  twenty one  year  old   junior  ,  they  shouldn’t  worry  about  fitting  in .   the   cisfemale  leo   has  always  reminded  me  of   zoë love smith   ,  but  some  people  don’t  see  it .   trying  to  keep  the  fact  that   she was under witness protection    from  getting  around  this  school  is  going  to  be  tough .  no  worries ,   though ,   cape  coral  will  create  a  new  life  for  them ,   i  assure  you .  ʼ 
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                     hiya  beans  !  i’m  nae  (   she  /  her  ,  twenty  ,  australia  gal  /  acst tmz !  )  and  i’m  real  pumped  to  get  crackin’  &  introduce  you  to  this  walking  tragedy !   ──   this  is  my  gal  jess  ,  who  is  rlly  smthin  else  ,  phew .  i  truly  am  in  love  with  her  tho   &  i  hope  ya’ll  like  her  too !  click  ....  the  ....  read  more  ....  now .
basic stats .  
*    find  her  full  stats  here !
current  legal  name  :  jessica  blaire  delaunchy.
nickname  /  alias  :  jess  ,  jj.  /  none.  
gender  /  pronouns  :  cisfemale  ,  she / her.
dob  /  age  :  august 13 1998.  /  twenty one.
place  of  birth  :  long  beach  ,  california.
currently  living  :  portland  ,  maine.
ethnicity  :  curaçao  ,  indonesian.
nationality  :  american.
languages  spoken  :  primarily  english  ,  learning  latin .
religion  :  her  father  was  christian  &  her  mother  was  muslim  ,  so  she  was  exposed  to  both  growing  up  (  her  dad  wanting  her  to  feel  closer  to  her  mother  in  a  way.  )   jess  doesn’t  really  know  which  bracket  she  falls  in  ,  if  at  all  ,  so  instead  she  respects  both .  does  this  make  sense ..... no.
sexual  /  romantic  orientation  :  pansexual  ,  panromantic.
occupation  :  self - employed  ,  ig ?  she  takes  odd  jobs  wherever  possible  ,  and  the  $$  is  always  under  the  table   :  house / pet / baby sittin’  ,  deliveries  ,  written  papers  /  tutoring  ,  even  ...  dare  i  say  it  ...  gambling.  
education  :  scholarship  student  at  cape  coral  international  school.
major  :  archaeology. 
biography . 
*    tw  :  parental  /  family  death  ,  murder  ,  gang  activity  ,  &  nae’s  obsession  with  rlly  bad  tragic  backstories .
the  unfortunate  beginning  to  this  story  is  this  :  a  girl  understands  death  before  she  understands  life  ;  a  sad truth  ,  a  lost  mother  on  the  birthing  bed  as  they  try  reviving the  infant  &  succeed  ,  a  broken  family  from  day  one  ━  she’s  born  novi  ovard  ,  with  a  head  of  thick  raven  hair  &  a  set  of  lungs  you  can  hear  three  floors  down  ,  but  healthy ,  alive  ;   her  mother  meets  a  much  more  grim  fate  that  very  hour  ,  and  it’s  almost  as  if  she  carries  that  misfortune  as  a  stain  for  the  remainder  of  her  childhood  ,  because  if  she  wasn’t  here  ,  maybe  her  mother  would  have  been . 
her  father  is  a  stern  man  ,  strict  &  abrasive  ;  he  loves  his  daughter  though  ,  that  is  crystal .  nora  grows  up  wanting  little  ,  and  some  could  say  that  is  her  father’s  way  of  over - compensating  for  the  lack  of  maternal  parent  in  the  household  and  the  way  he  works  long  hours  at  the  police  department .  he  remarries  when  nora  is  twelve  ,  to  a  woman  with  a  couple  of  daughters  &  a  son .  it’s  not  a  bad  thing  ,  no  evil  step - mother  or  new  step - siblings  horror  stories  ;  nora  likes  the  feel  of  a  feminine  presence  ,  likes  having  siblings  to  confide  in .  most  importantly  ,  she  sees  her  father  smile  for  the  first  time  in  years  ,  and  that’s  more  than  enough .  it’s  a  family  ,  not  entirely  by  blood  ,  but  it  feels  just  as  close  ;  like  pieces  that  finally  form  a  whole .    
FAMILY  OF  FIVE  FOUND  MURDERED  IN  LONG  BEACH  SUBURBAN  HOME  :  nora  comes  home  from  a  night  out  with  friends  to  find  strange  men  in  her  house  &  bloody  stains  on  the  carpet .  they  don’t  see  her  ,  if  they  had  perhaps  she  wouldn’t  be  breathing  right  now  ,  but  she  see’s  them  and  that’s  just  as  bad  ━  the  lights  flash  bright  red  &  blue  as  the  cops  ask  for  a  recount  of  the  events  that  occurred  ,  but  she  can  only  describe  faces  and  remember  a  few  names  shouted  as  the  culprits  ran  from  the  crime  scene .  they  presume  it’s  connected  to  the  L.A  mafia  ,  looking  for  justice  from  a  cop  that  did  them  dirty  a  few  years  back  ,  but  there’s  not  enough  evidence  yet  &  they  say  her  safety  is  at  risk  now  .  so  ,  they  offer  her  protection  ,  say  it’s  for  the  best  if  she  leaves  her  california  life  behind  ,  leave  everything  behind  and  start  anew .  
portland  is  a  big  city  ,  not  entirely  ideal  but  it’ll  do  for  now .  she  leaves  california  as  novi  ovard  ,  and  is  reborn  as  jessica  delaunchy  in  maine   ━   no one  remembers  a  jessica  delaunchy   ,  or  at  least  ,  no one  truly  knows  who  she  is .  she  lives  with  her  aunt  ,  no   ;  her  parents  work  overseas  so  she  lives  alone .  she’s  from  somewhere  in  west  virginia  ,  except  she  doesn’t  sound  like  it  ,  so  maybe  it  was  oregon  ?  apparently  she  got  expelled  from  her  last  school  for  setting  fire  to  the  gym  ,  or  was  it  trashing  the  headmaster’s  coupé  ?  in  truth  ,  not  much  truth  is  known  about  jessica  delaunchy .  she’s  only  at  cape  coral  because  the  thought  of  getting  a  free  ride  to  an  expensive  school  sounded  appealing  ,  and  a  refreshing  change  from  a  life  of  constant  camouflage  ;  she  only  joins  track  ,  because  everyone  hates  track .  she  only  joins  the  latin  club  because  who  really  has  the  patience  for  it  ?  jessica  blends  in  ,  jessica  is  just  jessica  ━  an  enigma  ,  hell  in  heelys  ,  possible  undercover  secret  agent  (  ?  )  and  a  heck  of  a  lot  of  fun  to  have  by  your  side  on  friday  nights .  
other  tid  bits .
phew  ,  where  do  i  begin  .  .  .  in  general  she’s  a  pretty  fun  gal  !  knows  how  to  let  loose  &  have  a  good  time .  we’re  here  for  a  fun  time  ,  not  a  long  time  ,  homeboys .  
this  is  also  her  downfall  because  she  will  literally  do  ANYTHING  to  have  fun  ━ jump  from  a  moving  car ?  sounds  cool .  jump  into  a  tank  full  of  piranhas ?  best  idea  she’s  ever  had  ,  get  the  camera  ,  tony .
does  NOT  understand  boundaries !!  at  all  !!  she’s  not  sorry !!
bit  of  a  compulsive  liar  too  tho  ??  she’s  one  of  those  people  that  you  never  rlly  know  if  they’re  telling  you  the  truth  or  just  mucking  around  ,  which  she  is  like  99 %  of  the  time  ,  and  no  -  matter  how  much  you  pester  her  ,  she  will  just  come  up  with  more  extravagant  ways  to  deter  you  from  the  truth  because  she  has  some  sort  of  .  .  .  allergy  to  sincerity  ,  ig .  
for  ex  .  don’t  ask  abt  her  family  unless  you  want  a  5  hr  presentation  on  how  she’s  related  to  the  lost  romanov  family  &  was  disowned  because  they  were  too  intimidated  by  her  big  dick  energy .  
really  in  denial  ??  over  everything  that  happened  ??  she’s  been  ignoring  the  truth  for  years  &  tries  not  to  let  her  thoughts  wander  too  close  to  family .  which  is  # yike !  
as  much  as  the  portrays  this  too  cool  for  school  persona  ,  she  actually  enjoys  it !  she’s  v  smart  &  studious  ,  loves  history  ,  philosophy  ,  literature   ,  loves it .
a  complete  DORK .
rlly  bad  attention  span  tho  &  one  of  those  annoying  ppl  that  waits  until  a  person  finishes  talking  and  says  ‘  u  say  smthin ?  ’
lives  on  her  own  w/  her  cat  larry  ,  who  she  uses  as  a  judge  of  character  but  he  hates  everyone  so  its  ....  useless  ,  but  one  day  this  asshole  is  gonna  like  someone  and  she’s  gonna  be  STUNNED .
has  a  big  heart  ....  somewhere .  she  just  forgets  she’s  supposed  to  have  one  sometimes  dfkjlhhfdhg 
will  always  do  the  unconventional  way  of  doing  things  because  she  hates  following  the  norm  or  being  labelled  as  a  stereotype !! def  one  of  those  ‘  i  liked  it  before  it  was  COOL  ’  bitter  ppl  too. 
i  think  that’s  iT ?? I  THINK .
wanted connections .
*    find  her  wc  page  here !  if  nothing  floats  ur  goat  tho  ,  pls  hmu  &  we  can  figure something  out !  (  either  here  or  on  d*scord  :  i’m stu pedasso #7836  )
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ywyunho · 4 years
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     *     hewwo so late but just finished an exam and this intro will reflect the exhaustion i currently feel so please excuse me but yw’s open ! ! 🥳🥳🥳 will list a couple points down below and some plot ideas until i can get a proper page up but here’s his profile for some stats and that’s about all i got. please feel free to like this if you’d like for me to roll into ur ims or please. also feel free to just roll into mine, i also have discord if that’s easier, just lmkk. but anyways this is kim yunho, km2 canon, a bro that pretends he has a personality. 
kim family, influential, involved in local politics and yunho doesn’t get the hype?? but it instills the belief in him he’s always got to be the polished, good-mannered son bc he is a reflection of his family and doesn’t wanna let them down................. or so he says
indecisive as shit, grows up doing a multitude of things in hopes of finding a definitive passion, is a quick study so its easy to go thru the motions w different hobbies or interests but boredom is like a disease that never stops giving . 
one hobby that happens to stick the handcrafted violin his grandfather gives him and he accepts it with an :o *insert sparkles all around his face* expression bc this feels like trust . this feels like a sign .
breaks said thing but initially in fear and desire to make reparations to grandfather (and himself) begins to look into violin-making and the craft of lutherie and there begins his first long-term interest, something he still does in spare time to calm himself when feelings n existence is too much
is a bit of a (used lightly) delinquent growing up, but nothing serious . more like following rules??? when u can ignore responsibilities and explore as a child???? its all done in the name of boredom!!!!!!! and privilege can make one very. haughty
but is a good boy, as seen thru his innocent features that old ppl just luv ok, overall despite dramatic tendencies when things don’t go his way, excessive pouting, silent treatment, brief phases of anger that don’t last long and are quick to exhaust him and have him wondering what was the point of feeling that much
leaves for university, forced to take something not. crafts related basically bc his parents dont trust him NOT to get bored and stress the vital importance in finishing THIS degree (major in business administration, minor in political science) before he can do much else, hoping it’ll make him settle down and stop chasing wanderlust 
makes it three years in, loses grandfather mid-way thru but pushes it all down, after the third comes the loss of a friend that he will basically never talk about now (tho people probably know ig?? considering. small town and his family at the very least were told), leading to him citing life is short and drops out to go on a backpacking trip thru europe like he thinks rich kids do and then stays with a couple friends in the states and basically . months pass and what was supposed to be his final year comes and passes before he finally promises parents to come home. its all very controversial
he is a disappointment and he knows it (so he says and thinks quite bitterly)
now works as desk clerk @ hot springs to get away from being at home at the time,  does not talk much about his time away, is a little more detached in hopes it’ll keep people from talking to him / about him when he’s still around . knows rumours probably fly around about the potential he had and the lack of results but . he pretends he simply does not care 
the end this was long and boring
to SUMMARIZE: boy doesn’t know what to be, is told to fit family mold, fails that and comes back a little broken.
possible connections???
childhood friends he used to hang around with until he left for university, probably awkward now and yes its prob entirely his fault, sue him
he used to declare u public enemy #1 and was so goddamn annoying........... except now he’s completely forgotten who u are and it’s ANNOYING.
he goes on morning jogs and maybe u join him . or maybe he joins u. maybe its cute. maybe it becomes a challenge and both tries to out-sprint the other . or maybe its just yunho 
parents once entertained/joked about the idea of the two of u getting married when yall grew up and excuse me. its like. 2020 . but hello could’ve been betrothed, how are u
you’re good at something and he wants to master it now. he is annoying.
you both used to share everything w each other and maintained contact when he left yangwon until he disappeared over the grid and now that he’s back u keep asking him how time outside of yangwon was and he keeps tries to actively get away from u with very badly exercised excuses . little do u kno its bc hes not ready to talk about his feelings and every time he sees ur face he wants to do just that
alternatively he sprints in the opposite direction every time he sees u and u dont know if he hates u for some reason or if hes full of himself or if u smell (cue edward cullen montage here) but god forbid........ its a cr*sh?
high school exes................... there is a lot of ways this could go
pseudo siblings, older or younger, bc yunho loves the concept of family
ur so c*te he literally trips when he sees u. insert a million other embarrassing events here
slightly antagonistic, but for the 100th time, yunho is annoying growing up with bc he oozes ‘im a good son, please love me’ pheromones with that disgustingly sweet smile of this but now that he’s back and not so faux perfect and theres some talk and u find maybe he’s not So annoying anymore
he likes to walk thru the rain and let himself get soaked and u are genuinely concerned bc what the f*ck dude . or u join him. what happens next may or may not warm ur heart .
works @ hot springs....... maybe he sees smth....... he shouldnt........?????????/ or maybe........ u want him to............????????/ god idk
this is so hard ill take anything .
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session 10 notes
oh wow yeah the layout of these will just forever be trash now bc it’s a lot of formatting work like a LOT sorry
• Presentation prep
○ Jacob is doing a tier list of every smash character in the world ever
• Apparently picchu was really busted
○ Idk who picchu is tho
○ Peechoo
○ I think it's picchu bc I think I've seen that before
• Are waterbenders ghostbusters
• R we starting
A few my little pony quizzes real quick
• When we last left off
• We were using medallions or whatever to search for stuff
• Broke into the city of the dead
• Were ambushed but interrogated one of them after killing the others
• Adam convinced that one that we chucked the stone
• We let him live but adam took his pants
• Not midnight but it's raining a lot
What are we doing
• As we leave the graveyard adam is getting chains out of george bush and putting it back on the gate
• Nvm we're just gonna follow naya
• Put chains back on 
• Squelching through mud
• Make way back w little trouble
○ We were able to set up the stuff?
○ Looks like some ppl r patrolling
○ Still hard to see bc rainy so we haven't been noticed
• Keep following naya
• Make way out safely
• Naya varies the pace every now and then
• Rain dies off later in the night
• Start approaching poorer area of the trade ward; fewer shops and businesses, more poorer housing
• Naya looks like she's leading us towards a windmill in the distance
• Just a towering windmill
• Not much wind so not spinning
• Cel makes perception check at disadvantage, can't see anything
• Naya runs up and stops in front of the windmill then vanishes
○ The second time we used naya's scry power? Maybe? Nvm?
• Does ur wifi ever poop itself
○ Nice
○ Ok I'll just keep sitting here ig
• Ok we're in a dark room and can't hear any sounds of a bloodbath
• There's a door
• Adam puts his ear to see if he can see anything, perception check
○ 8
• Door is solid wood
• Adam opens ground floor door
○ There r two doors
§ One on the side and one on the top
§ Ok we're in the windmill
• Cel pulls out lantern
• Adam opens door and sees a lot of people who look like they're sleeping on the floor
○ 5ish
○ Look like squatters
• Adam rolls 22 perception to see if he recognizes anyone, no one looks familiar
• Sneak by them ? Try to ?
• Adam can see another door that goes further in
• Adam snaps tiny flame on finger and rest of us follow the flame
• We walk over to next door
• Not locked
• Quietly go through
• Asyna is going to stay in the first room w ppl to watch them
○ In case they wake up / as guard
○ "hehe . Shillelagh"
○ "whack 'em with your 'forget-me' stick"
• Proposition for asyna to pretend she's sleeping
• Enter next room, just as dark as other
○ A few doors leading to left and right in front of us
○ In distance can see more people sleeping but only two
○ Looks empty
○ Lights lantern
• Adam pokes head through closest door
○ There's just more people
○ Strategy to burn entire building will not work
○ Cel can't tell if anyone looks like they're armed
• Do I want banana bread
• Going to peek into all the rooms
• Every room marked w2 has ppl sleeping
• What's happening in w3
• "so I look outside bc I heard somebody blasting despacito… there's a pickup truck towing a boat and there's a bunch of teenagers on it raving" - dom, 2020
• W3 is a wc a water closet as in a bathroom
• W4 is a closet w some cleaning stuff and grains
• Some ppl have woken up but they don't bother to like really watch us suspiciously
• Upstairs we go
• Three doors leading out of the room but also a large millstone in the center of the room
• Under debris, soaking wet from a hole in the ceiling
• Adam tries to move debris
• Cel rolls 15 perception, can't hear anything
○ Adam rolls nat1 and the stone resists adam's efforts
○ Technically a 0
• What's behind door w6
○ Caved in sections
○ Floor littered w bird droppings
○ Adam investigates "that's a 12 for eggs dominic"
○ There are eggs but they are fertilized eggs
○ Adam has to b careful
§ Gently picks up pigeon egg
§ "I have a plan if combat starts"
§ Adam is now carrying a pigeon egg
• What's in w8?
○ W7 first
○ W7 is locked
○ Adam tries the key; theo makes perception check first
§ Nat1 so can't hear anything
§ Adam tries the key
□ "I'm gonna stick that key into the lockhole"
□ It doesn't fit
§ 14, can't unlock
§ Aerana tries, 22
§ Lock clicks open
§ Cel peers inside
□ There's an open window, the room is cold
□ There's a door leading into a separate room
□ Armoire
□ Also two human males holding shovels
□ "congratulations - you're free" - adam
□ "what the hell r u on about"
□ "we unlocked your door that was previously locked presumably from the outside but now the door's open and you can walk through it"
□ "we locked it on purpose"
□ "none of ur business how we do ours what do you want"
□ "why did you lock yourself in here"
□ "bc this is our apartment"
□ Smth abt a rock
□ A tiny boulder ?
□ Rolls 20 for insight
□ Guy had a flash of recognition but he doesn't have it
® But what r they wearing
® Indiscrete, utilitarian clothes
® "can we search your room or will you tell us all you know"
® "is that a thweat"
® "a thweat? O thorry sorry a threat"
® Adam rolls for intimidation
◊ 9
□ "we could just lasso them"
□ "how much health do they have combined"
□ "ok so you guys aren't gonna tell us anything"
□ As adam turns around to leave he casts sleep
® 5d8 
◊ "is their combined health equal or less than 22"
◊ "together they had 8"
□ Asyna moseys on upstairs
• I try so hard
○ And then things like this happen to me
○ It's fine, I say, albeit wholly unconvinced
○ Wow ok it really b like this
• Adam makes investigation check for anything in the bed
○ 18
○ There's a cut in the side of the bed w a bag of coins
○ "we shouldn't rob these people"
○ Apparently it's not a lot so we leave it
• Going to check other room
○ W8
§ Try to open door but immediately hit smth blocking it
§ Aerana and cel try opening the door
□ 14 strength check; doesn't budge
□ Peeking inside can make out a lot of heavy stones
□ 3 in gap
□ "so we can't fit through it . But a much smaller animal could probably fit through it"
○ Would b asyna's second wildshape
§ Investigate room wd40 but it's w4b
○ Asyna and cel r gonna go to w4b
○ Adam sticks arm through crack
§ Adam gets sense roof has collapsed
§ Feels beam of wood blocking door
○ Dom thinks we're too weak to hammer the door
○ Cel goes first
§ Dexterity save
□ 19
□ 2 damage; steps inside side closet and floor collapses
□ Falls down into w4a on first floor
□ Picks self up and goes back upstairs
○ Gonna try n shimmy over, 10 for acrobatics
§ Starts making way over then falls; dex save 11
§ 2 damage again
§ "uh hearing cel fall from the second floor twice , I come out"
□ Cel is gonna try and jump to w6
□ Adam gets crowbar from cel
§ Adam uses mage hand to open the door
□ Cel can just see a bunch of pigeon nests in w6
□ Cel jumps into w6
□ More pigeons
® Investigates; 20
◊ Finds the odd shiny thing a crow might've brought in; for the most part looks like a bird's dwelling
◊ Some fish bones in one of the nests
◊ Nature check, 5; can't tell what kind of nest
◊ They look like pigeon eggs tho
◊ Whisper yells to asyna "pet pigeon ?!"
◊ "are you gonna throw it?"
◊ "let me just tell you guys right now . You have more than one chance"
◊ Both have to make dexterity checks
◊ There are at least 5 eggs
◊ Cel rolls 22, asyna rolls 16
◊ The egg made it across successfully
◊ Cel just jumps back
○ Adam lightly pats down the two sleeping dudes
§ Some money, small utility knife
§ Gonna crowbar w8; strength check w advantage
§ Adam tries using the crowbar on the hinges, 8
§ Warhammer ? 15
□ 11 damage
□ "ok. Bonk"
□ "screws were invented in the first century so there WERE screws in the renaissance"
® Oil the door, adam tries to pop out the bolt with a dagger
® Two 4s
□ The people we cast sleep on are still asleep
○ Nat20 for athletics check to go onto the roo
§ You go to top of the windmill
§ Drop down into the room
□ Huge collapse of stones from the ceiling, beam of wood propped up against the door
□ Nat20
® Positive there is nothing in the room, just ceiling debris
○ "I'm gonna give their hands a little bondage"
§ "and then jerry seinfeld walks in like 'what's the deal with airplane food'"
§ Adam shakes the more serious-looking guy awake
§ Takes out key and asks if he's seen it
□ Wakes up and says "wot"
□ Other guy wakes up and is flailing
□ Cel rolls athletics check to tie him up
® 14, is able to tie him up
□ Looks at it and says it's his
□ "what's it for?"
□ "none of your business"
□ "you guys have a hobby of graverobbing?"
□ Adam says he's with the citywatch
® Deception check at disadvantage
® 9
® "yeah we're from the watch . Watch your back"
□ "why were u in the mausoleum"
® Jacob makes intimidation check w advantage
◊ 16, more serious one says "well u know we don't normally do that sort of thing"
◊ "we was paid to do it"
◊ "by whom"
◊ Lorsa morclav
} Losser mirklav paid them
– Asdjdmaf nice
® "what's the key for"
® "it's private"
® "can you make it public? For money ?"
® "45" adam puts knife closer to throat "I'm guessing that's a no" "I'm guessing that's a less please"
◊ Asks if we've played the dnd equivalent of poker
} Adam says he wants names first
} Younger one is urlaster
} Older one is volkarr
□ Threaten to bludgeon toes
® "how connected r u to ur toes"
® "rather intimately"
§ Says he buried his treasure
□ 10 to hit, slams ground
® Adam asks to see where loser mirklav is
◊ Southern ward
◊ By a bunch of apartments
◊ Half elf guy - cellar street ?
◊ Lives in an apartment
◊ "wig shop"
◊ "a weed shop"
◊ "a wIG shop"
§ "did u guys steal anything else from the tomb"
□ "we was hired to steal bones"
□ "losser's a necromancer"
□ Did they pick up a stone ?
® Losser saw a really thicc rat
® Losser kills the rat but it just vanishes, leaving the stone
® Losser took the stone
◊ Insight check, 8; can't tell if he's telling the truth
} "u guys broke into the tomb of a noble family for a necromancer for how much gold"
} 10 gold
} "we're keeping the key"
} "is loser the type of person that stays up at night"
} "well he's a mostly nocturnal fella"
} "yeah he likes his beauty rest during the day"
} "he's a strange little fellow"
§ "how badly do you want this key back"
□ "that's my life savings I want it back"
□ "what does losser look like ?"
□ Halfling fellow w long gray ponytail, he's wrinkly and smelly
® Is it bad that every time I hear the word necromancer I think necrophilia not necromancy
® "yeah I'm licking your life savings right now buddy"
◊ Adam fake swallows
} Performance check, 8
} "you're the worst actor I've ever seen"
} Actually swallows it
} "oh fuck"
} Key is made out of rusty iron
} "alright . Bye"
◊ "do you want your key back within 1-2 business days"
} "why don't you just puke it out"
} "I don't want to"
} "you guys keep quiet, I'll return the key to you in 1-2 business days"
} "that's disgusting"
} "alright . Bye"
– We’re leaving them tied up 
– "wow we're being judged" - marguerite, 2020
– We take their shovel
– "say what was your name"
– "reginald"
– "deception"
w Rolls a 20 total
w "that's shilanda shilanda brilanda and tiffany"
w Nat1
® "it might come out less rusty than it was before"
◊ "hey dom when should I roll for that poison"
§ Cel takes knife, toss the shovels
□ Barricade door ?
○ Going back to mirt's to rest ?
§ Go back to mirt's
§ Fog has settled in over streets, early early morning
§ Make it back no problem
§ Past midnight
□ Rest with watches
□ During adam's watch reads book
® Investigation check, 20
® Details house growlund and their lineage
◊ It's a genealogical book
} A lot of the pages are blank bc it's continuously added to
} At some point it's described that some of the children were born with tails
– "I look at my tail . Then look back at the page"
– But then those tails were amputated
} Any inbreeding ?
– Investigation check, 13
– There was inbreeding
□ Cel keeps pigeon egg warm
§ Morning arrives, daytime mostly spent in fog until noon
□ 8 a.m.-ish
□ "do I have to uh use the bathroom dominic"
□ "is there any key"
□ "oh I thought you were talking about real life"
® "does the key come out"
® "oh my god no it does not"
® "this is a great disaster"
◊ "it was a large key"
◊ "then how did I swallow it?!"
◊ "oh god whatever"
◊ Key was small enough for adam to swallow without choking
} I didn't say this but I thought it: what if he had practice tho
• Renaer is up
○ Cel grabs asyna and adam to go ask renaer to watch their pigeon egg babies
○ He is incredibly confused but he affirms he won't eat them
○ "ey what's poppin mirt"
○ "how's it going"
○ "groot is chunky" - aerana?
○ "groot is the best kind of chunky" - cel
○ "mirt, I'll buy you a wig" - adam
○ "make it purple"
§ Purple like …. : - D ahahahahahahahahahhahahhahahhahaAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAA
• We bust our way down to cellar street
○ Southern ward is the one where a lot of ppl move to from foreign lands
§ Eclectic
§ We find a small shop w some wigs in the front
○ There's a young half-elf woman running front desk
○ Headstands w wigs in the front, some r purple
○ Adam walks up to the half-elf woman asking for a special order w loser
○ "sorry we don't have anyone by that name"
○ "losser?"
○ Adam wants a private meeting to place an order
§ Insight
□ 16, she looks surprised n confused
○ There was not an apartment above the store
§ This corner is mostly businesses
□ Nat20 wisdom saving throw
® She is uncharmed
○ Has gray hair, smells like an excessive amount of lavender, 
§ Says his name is val
□ Mirklav backwards
○ "is your boss here right now"
○ Lets himself in sometimes to say hi and to check in like once a month but he has a key
§ "how do you know him"
§ "uh do u remember how I said I was throwing a bar mitzvah ? He's invited"
□ 15 deception, works
□ She goes to the back
○ Nothing suspicious looking in the shop aside from the normal weirdness you'd expect from a wig shop bc it's just head mannequins
○ An elf walks in
§ "hey . Yo"
§ He nods
§ Doesn't necessarily look like he needs a wig
§ Wearing a tricorner hat like gwash
□ Makes idle conversation
□ "interesting things happening in the city, eh?"
® Heard abt the house that got blown up
® "oo . What's the juice ? What's the juicy gossip my guy"
® They say some kind of explosion
® Says he's more into politics
◊ "of course he is"
® "well I concern myself w the affairs of princes and princesses"
◊ Talks abt making deliveries
® "well many of them r comfortable . Of late I was able to make a v special acquaintance who essentially helped me w smth I needed doing"
◊ "I'm adam nice to meet you . Is it impossible to explain or "
◊ What's this guy's name tho
◊ Says he's good at making ppl happy or sad ???
◊ "you're like a performer"
◊ "do smth for us"
} He lost his silver handkerchief
– Can turn silver into gold, flicks it
– Admits puppetry is not his particular area of expertise
w Name is Jamboreal
w Nat20 insight check
w Looks different but it's the other guy
w Oh it's the guy the disguise guy your handkerchief bruh you really forgot about your own doings n stuff
w AHAHAHHA I SEE IT NOW OOPS wow I was really off
• Clerk lady comes back in
○ Brings back note of smth
§ We'll just sneak back later at night ig
§ Adam gives her a gold and says he'll take her purplest wig
□ Brings out a fluffy purple toupee
○ Wig shop closes around dusk
○ "do you want this wrapped"
○ "do you want to come to my bar mitzvah ? I'm turning 14"
○ Jamboreal is haggling a price down
§ Concept: take asyna to the zoo
□ Adam runs intelligence check for a 
□ Uh are we going to the zoo ? We're going to the zoo
□ There's a bunch of animals
Pause; next time we’re going to the zoo
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laylabahiti · 4 years
Text
HSHQTASK005: A REFLECTION 
i originally posted this task in march 2017, so almost 3 years ago (wow). i already regret looking at this old one lmao
001. name / age / pronouns
2017: xee / twenty / she, her 2020: xee / twenty-three / she, her — fun fact, mine and evy’s bdays are 2 days apart #taurussquad
002. which character(s) do you play?
2017: my complicated af beaN layla. idek what’s going on with her at this point. 2020: i’m screaming i can’t believe i thought 2017 layla was complicated. i had no idea what was to come. i picked up biel not long after that. also had katalina aka brucey’s wifey n i miss her. juliana is a fairly recent addition and, i’m about to spill the beans, a glücksburg is coming.
003. nationality / ethnicity / timezone
2017: american / lots of white european and the other half o’ me is ashkenazi jewish / right now i’m back and forth between pst and mst. homeland is mst though. 2020: obvs nothing has changed except no more back and forth with timezones. strictly mst now.
004. tell us a bit about your  home state.
2017: it’s the first day of spring and we almost reached 100 degrees F :’) we don’t really have autumn or spring here tho. it’s either hot as balls summer or frozen. no in between. like, as soon as temps get below 70 F people break out their jackets. 2020: welcome to the desert, “it’s a dry heat”
005.  favourite color / fruit / season
2017: green / honeydew melon / spring 2020: still green and all its shades / tbh idk how i chose a fave fruit bc i raaarely eat it but bananas and watermelon too / “spring”
006. favourite books + writer whose writing style you admire the most
2017: this isn’t a fair question smh. i have too many titles and names going through my head at once to answer this. 2020: still no fave so i’m just gonna answer this with what i’m currently reading. it’s called suffer strong and it popped up on my insta feed last week (big brother is listening and they know i’m a stressed mf) cheese moment: i admire all ur writing styles :~)
007. what kinda music do you listen to + any fave bands / musicians
2017: listen to a lil bit of everything. these ‘favorite’ questions are difficult for me to answer 2020: same answer tho i grew up listening to the eagles so they hold a special place in my heart n soul. i get to go see them in a couple months (hopefully w my dad) and i’m v excited
008. what are you doing for a living / what are you studying?
2017: lmAO well rn i work in the kitchen of a gas station (sah classy). 2020: went from working in the store to working in corporate *finger guns* apparently i never said what i was studying but i was still in school then. justice studies with a minor in military leadership and certifications in human rights and socio-legal studies. then i studied astrophysics with minors in cyber intel + security and math for a semester, but i didn’t want any more debt ajskdf
009. what’s your dream occupation?
2017: IDK but it has to involve happiness and a nice salary. i have to feed my zoo somehow. 2020: what r dreams lmao
010. relationship status
2017: single then. single now. single forever. 2020: every time i think about putting myself out there, something happens. i don’t have time to date atm
011. coffee, tea or hot chocolate?
2017: it depends on the weather. if it’s cold i’ll have hot chocolate. i usually drink tea at meals whenever though. 2020: i blame my work for all the coffee i drink now, but still all of the above. 
012. dream holiday destination?
2017: santorini 2020: honestmeme....where the hell did i pull santorini from. idk i was supposed to go to iceland for study abroad last year but yknow i withdrew from the university. i still wanna go tho
013. the thing you’re most proud about yourself
2017: not afraid to stand up for myself + others 2020: young me made it sound noble but honestly i’ll put ppl in their place, i don’t have patience anymore jakdas. but tbh right now i guess it’s my perseverance? life has been shitty for a few months but u gotta keep on truckin’
014. tell us a bit about your family!
2017: goD they’re nuts. i’m the middle child out of all my siblings but the youngest on my dad’s side. large age gaps are common, like half my sisters are old enough to be my mom. lots of grand babies and great grand babies. when we’re all together (like this past weekend) it’s ….wild. communication is v poor too. i only have one brother out of my eight siblings, and all those siblings are only half-related to me. at 5′5 i’m one of the tallest in the fam which says a lot. 2020: they’re still nuts n i don’t speak to my mother anymore. i should probs add that my parents have been divorced since i was a few months old so she hasn’t been in the pic for a while. even when she had custody of me jaksldf find me ron howard i’ll give him the rights to my life story
015. how long have you known your closest friend?
2017: three years. 2020: we’re going on 6 years jaksdf i’ll be maid of honor in her wedding this year. i also have another friend that i failed to mention last time but we’ve been close for 9 years (jfc)
016. superpower you’d like to have?
2017: invisibility 2020: mind reading so i know who’s Fake jaklsdjf
017. celebrity you’d like to meet?
2017: john stamos ?? idk i never really thought about it. i’ve met michael phelps though!! 2020: ig i’ll stick with stamos?? ooh or steve carrell or jennifer aniston. 
018. guilty pleasures
2017: chocolate and french fries. i love love love french fries. 2020: now my guilty pleasure is dr. pepper bc i cut it out of my diet.
019. pet peeves
2017: mouth noises (misophonia). people talking over each other and not listeninG. lowkey people leaving the toilet seat up or leaving toilet paper in the toilet like…just flush again. 2020: i really went off on tp huh?? another pet peeve is people committing to something then backing out/flaking without a heads up
020. do you have any hobbies?
2017: sports !!! i’m a grade a heaux for sports. tennis, archery, golf. anything that doesn’t require lots of muscle ya feel. one of my ~hobbies~ i guess is organizing things. i have multiple planners and use them all daily. 2020: i miss how sporty n active i was jkasdf this is my hobby.
021. where would you like to live in the future?
2017: i would looooooove to live in san diego but i’ll probs be stuck in the desert drylands. 2020: tbh i was looking into memphis homes bc it’s cheap compared to here but i don’t really care where i end up. just want a place of my own yknow
022. tell us a story about a thing that recently happened to you! it can be a funny, scary, sad story, your pick!
2017: redacted bc it was college angst lmao and not pretty 2020: i found out this morning that my cell phone # is somehow linked to some random guy a few miles away and idk how to fix it online. got some texts today and yesterday this one guy called me 6 times back to back while i was on the phone with someone else. i guess that’s another pet peeve of mine, pls leave a message if it’s important jaklsdf
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namelessstoryteller · 5 years
Text
I'm not like her other friends
Recently got a message from friend I'm calling Linn. Linn was my first friend when I started High School, and I made friends with Anna and Joe, who were her childhood friends, and a chick I chatted to in homeroom named Freda, who was Linn's bff.
Two events started the downfall from me getting kicked out of this group. I felt like a taxi driver while driving Linn and Freda around on Halloween, and mentioned to Linn, hey I don't like being a third wheel afterwards. So whenever she brought up hanging out with Freda, as I was the only friend with a car, I always rejected it. The second was I brought us tickets to Impractical Jokers, our fav show that was touring in our town that year. She agreed to pay me back the 70 over time. This was the only time I ever asked her for money in the 6 to 7 years of friendship.
Linn never had much money so I hung with her and brought the tickets, the food, and the events. I hung out with her because I could always make her laugh and loved our shared interests.
However, turns out everything that was said, was shared between Joe, Freda, family, and others. I got a bf and wanted to ask her yknow girl/perverted questions, I wanted a conversation about this stuff with her as we been friends for years and I only knew her attempts at relationships. I made her feel uncomfortable with this open conversation. I apologized but I learned this was shared with everyone and I was a bad friend for not noticing the signs.
A group chat was formed later on, with Joe, Freda, Linn, rando, and a chick named Iris. I knew Iris but I really don't know what side she was on throughout this whole thing, she had conversations with both of us and sent me screenshots from Linn, so I suspect she did the same for Linn. I made a comment, like "what up b*tches" and that fucking broke Freda. Apparently I hated her and it was aimed at her. And Im insensitive (which is a bit true but I have said worst, and Linn brings this up a lot later on).
I wanted an overnight hangout for spring break, I invited Linn, Joe, his gf, Anna, Iris. Linn knew I smoked and drank, but due to the friend group, I was never planning on bringing those items along. They didnt know I only invited them, my bestie, and a HS friend. Only Iris ever drank. Only my bestie smoked.
After hearing no, I gave up and just went to the hotel with my best friend and our HS friend. I had a good time playing uno. But Linn asked to hang that night and I told her I was doing this as I had planned a long time ago.
Apparently I got blocked from the friend group (i had it muted so I never noticed), i only noticed when I got invited back and saw the messages.
"That's so messed up of you S to leave one of your real friends whose been there for you" said iris.
It been planned for a long time, it was even planned with everyone in mind.
"I don't wanna start anything bc she'll just try 2 play the victim lol" "I don't trust her with alcohol and weed. But now I kinda don't trust her with a lot of things" "I mean if you look how Savannah grew up, you see why she is the way she is...." "I didn't like her mom the moment I saw her"
No, I had party friends and a pothead cousin. The mom comment is because my mom smokes cigarettes and Linn hated the smell and called her mom to leave my house. And I moved to my grandparents years later.
"She's reckless and tbh I'm sorry to say this but she is also kind of a hoe" said Joe. The same guy who wanted me to sleep with him when I had a bf for over a year. And he even said if I slept with him (while having a gf) that he would put in a good word. Linn agrees "I only want to find a bf and sleep with him. Not sleep with the whole town"
"Ig when I hang with her again I don't want drama but I have 2 talk 2 her maybe steer her on the right path maybe she's secretly sad. And puts her pain into weed and drinking"
No, when Im sad, I talk to you or my bestie, but then that gets shared to everyone so I stopped talking to you about my feelings.
I don't remember when this happened, but I made a comment about her oversized bra as she had tiny chachas. My mistake. Everyone has body issues, and that was hers, and I spent an hour apologizing as sometimes I do run my mouth. I just felt like the bra didn't mean much if it wasnt padded, but just there for air for her body type.
Through months of talking. Getting mad at each other. Stopped talking. Unfriending each other. Of how Im not like her other friends. We agreed on a movie. I sent her a msg at 10am asking if 10pm was a good time to go see a random movie, she read the message. I never got a message back until 9pm saying she was ready. I told her, dude message me sooner I thought you ignored me and got ready for bed. And she got mad I didn't tell her I got ready for bed while she was prepared to go out. I said it's a movie we can reschedule, it's too late to drive to her home and movies especially when it's opening night. This, of course, got her mad. I said Im sorry for the miscommunication on my part.
I heard back from her 3 days later, 4 days before the Impractical Jokers. "Are you still taking me to Impractical jokers?" At this point, I'm over these issues and her so I finally stood for a battle.
I replied, "Linn, how things are looking like right now, probably not. And I don't really feel bad since it wasnt paid." I told her I didn't want to because she more focus on the tickets when we still had last arguement.
She had 5 dollars, I told her at least 25 (not even half the price but it was something) or least try to pay me in small amounts. She said she was saving up for something so 15 at most, and I repiled like you tried saving up for these tickets.
She said "Ur like my only friend who wants me 2 pay back a concert ticket. Everyone else has brought it out of just being nice. But I did agree to pay back $70 which tbh is too much. So I said $15 but Idek bc rn I have $5" "U want me 2 ask ppl hey can u give me money bc my friend wants me 2 pay her back 4 a concert? They aint gonna do that Bc they're gonna say that's ur friend's problem"
It's your problem, Linn. Not mine.
She said this should be her bday gift, and when I brought up how much I spent on her throughout the years, she said "you never had to and Plus u should kinda do that out of being a good friend not do it 4 money btw....but now ik not 2 ask u 4 shit bc ur gonna want me 2 pay u back 4 it. I wouldn't want u 2 pay me back but that's just me 💁💁"
She msg me on my phone. Went through the cycle of her saying hey I can make payments now, and me saying it's too late since I already invited someone else, "Im money hungry/i never apologized", she had family issues and is broke, stop bringing up things in the past she already apologized for (when she brought up things I apologized for). How she kept me as a friend, how loyal she was, when all of her friends and family told her to drop me, who knew every single bad detail about me, every bad secret. Yes, this came up a lot during our disputes. Even when I told her I didn't care what her friends thought cuz I wanted just us talking.
I thought we liked to hang out together, but maybe it was just me who enjoyed those times. She always wanted someone else there. Anna, Iris and Joe I was okay with just in small amounts because of gas. Plus, those guys never had money either and I can only pay for so many. Maybe I was her friend because I had a car and okay with spending money.
So yes, I'm the bad apple. I've been living with the same guy for the last two and a half years, clean from weed for the last one and a half (bf told his dad he would stay clean, i only smoked because i was always offered some by others), drinking once a month.
And then Linn messaged me on my bday, happy birthday we should hang out with anna she misses you!
Uhuh. Sure. Maybe someday.
Sorry I had to rant since apparently I always saw myself as the victim. I did fuck up with the uncomfortable questions and bra comment. I felt I had these conversations with my other friends, so why not with the friend I had for the longest. But the movie ticket, like come on seriously?
Tl;dr toxic friendship turned bad, got witchhunted by my "friends" and money hungry for a ticket I brought.
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koolkvat-blog · 5 years
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       hello  loves  ,   what’s  up  !   i’m  super  excited  to  be  here  &  to  finally  play  my  precious girl  ,   jade aka kool kat   .   i’m  LOLA  ,   use  she / her prounouns  ,   i am NINETEEN  ,   &   i  am  currently  in  the  gmt + 1 timezone  which  means  yes  ,  my  ass should’ve  been  awake  for  intro  posting  but  i  don’t  know  what  time  management  is  and  ended  up  swamped  w/  work  ,  so  !   everything   you  need  to  know  about  about  miss  kat  is  under  the  cut  ,   &  i’m  rlly  thrilled  to  be  apart  of  such  a  wonderful  rp  with  such  gorgeous  muses  .  corniness over  ––   if  you’re  looking  to  plot  sumn  out  ,   just  hit  that   ♥︎    &   i’ll  make  my  way  on  over  to  ur  dms  ,  or  feel  free  to  add  me  up   on  discord  which  i’ll  give  in im’s  if  anybody’s  interested  !   ♡♡♡         tw  :   family issues  ,  body image issues  &  drug mention  ( not  explicit ) . 
001 . SYNOPSIS  . FULL     NAME  .      jade        kikuchi . NICKNAMES  .      kool kat    . AGE  .      twenty - one . DATE     OF     BIRTH  .      twenty  -  seventh     of     september   ,     1993      /     libra . PLACE     OF     BIRTH  .      harajuku ,   tokyo ,     japan .         GENDER  .       cisgender     female . SEXUALITY  .     (  closeted  )  pansexual  . NATIONALITY  .      japanese  ,  now  american  too  after  successfully  gaining  citizenship  . ETHNICITY  .      asian  . OCCUPATION  .       fashion designer at katz designz      ,     former  fashion  design  and  journalist  student  back  in  her  original  timeline  . PLAYLIST  .      here  !  (  +  )     charismatic , enthusiastic , warm , energetic , adventurous , compassionate , animated . (  -  )     deceptive ,  independent ,  emotional , territorial , ambitious , impulsive , temperamental , insecure , sarcastic .  
002 . AESTHETIC  .      wheatgrass  smoothies , 90′s  anime  with  subtitles  , chanel  no. 5, speeding  on  a  desert  road  with  the  windows  down ,  painting  your  toenails  on  the  dashboard ,  neon  prints ,  cat  lazing  on  a  balcony  in  the  sun , black  lace ,  japanese  horror  films  ,  sour  cocktails  with  sugar  around  the  rim , half - smoked  cigarettes ,  stacks  of  fashion  magazines , long  hair  hastily  dyed  different  colours in  a  motel  bathroom ,  thrift  stores   .
003. INFORMATION  .
tl;dr : a flighty, inattentive adventurer: a follower of whims; personable and sociable but lacks the skills to maintain relationships because she’s entirely (and perhaps too) career focused, checks her horoscope daily and entirely relies on the stars when concerning relationships, epitome of a britney spears / gwen stefani stan back in the 2000′s, still owns a (bedazzled) flip phone, collector of vintage fashion (chanel, elle, juicy couture etc.) a subscriber to the Leonardo Da Vinci sleeping method; catch her at 2 am making soufflés or buying plane tickets to shiwei so she can really experience the culture: will tell you she loves you ten minutes after first introduction because she’s high: kind of unintentionally insensitive to those she doesn’t know and closed off but in like a cool, lovable way. 
•    heads up im running on like 5 hrs sleep so sry when this inevitably derails ! ok sweet let’s get into this . 
•    so as aforementioned this is jade kukichi, aka, kool kat. she was dubbed that by her friends due to her unique fashion style and sense of dress, and it’s stuck. lbr nobody other than her friends can use that term so if you do, she’s just going to stare at u for a quick sec before saying ‘it’s jade’. 
•    born in harajuku, tokyo to a cardiothoracic surgeon of a father and a politician of a mother, jade grew up traveling the world and becoming flighty af, never thinking she was going to make long - term friends and kinda being okay with that. 
•    her family has never stayed in one place for very long, though her aging parents eventually settled into a permanent residence in the us around the time she turned sixteen, not soon enough for jade to break the habit of wandering, but thankfully quick enough for her to meet the bratz girls who were just as adventurous and fun - loving as she. she's spent much of her teen life jumping from place to place wherever her interests are that moment, collecting people along the way, but to find friends was the only thing she was missing. jade has a brilliant mind, but she lacks patience and follow through. she needs guidance or she'll jump from idea to idea, job to job, whim to whim.
•    ngl, jade pretty much hated her home life. her parents were an overbearing presence in her life, her mother wanting jade to be a proper lady who also went into a profession like theirs (entirely serious and stifling when it came to creativity, doctor, politician, lawyer etc.) while jade herself wanted to check out the latest trends and go to the mall w her friends – so she turned all of her focus and energy into getting good grades in everything she wanted to do in the hopes that she could be the most successful fashion designer, then leaving town forever. 
•    like she spent 7 yrs in high school graduating w honours but she barely knew what was happening in 9/10 of her classes and sometimes she just slept through classes and then wing her exams which she miraculously did well at. it was just not a good idea to send jade to a public school at 11 after being in boarding school for the rest of her life and then never really enforce any rules :~\ she has trouble with that kind of thing.. as in making logical choices instead of saying "YEAH lets go watch american psycho and smoke weed!" skipping chemistry to do just that 
•    she loves fun and values doing what makes her happy over most things. it's hard to pin her down and she spends most of her life chasing after ideas that don't really follow any sort of conscious order, bc she’s really got that ‘i’ve got dreams and i’m gonna do everything in my power to achieve them’ personality. 
•    according to bratz canon she’s worked as literally everything ? she’s one of those insufferable people who r just. good everything ig and that’s just how it is on this bitch of an earth. jade’s been a photographer, a song - writer and bass player in a rock band (shout out to bratz rock angelz the best movie w the best soundtrack ever), a student studying fashion design, a fashion columnist, a quickly fired nanny, and many other things in between. 
•    so when she appears in toonsville she’s kind of out of it that she’s not doing something w her skills and sets up her own business which she loves ? being her own boss suits her fine (for now) because she’s got a Real Job and she's actually trying rly hard so she can fulfill her dreams !! like suck it mom nd dad haha !!!
•    jade has a lot of weird feelings TM about her body and her looks and struggles a lot with her self confidence :~( she had a shit time at school with boys saying she was too thin and she compensated by acting like she didn't like anyone at all for a while and now she thinks she isn't good enough for anyone when rly she is a cinnamon bun too good for this world too pure 
•    best friend ever she is so good at being a friend if u text her at 3am to go out or cry on her shoulder shes ready to go at 3:15 even if she was sleeping w lots of snacks and treats and love!!! she is sooo extroverted around those she’s comfortable w, she gains so much energy from being around people and she loves being nice and being around ppl she likes 
•    she becomes the mom of groups pretty easily (hence why she’s the leader of the bratz) bc she bottles up most of her own problems to help ppl with theirs!! which is toxic yea but she puts people first always so !! plz help her poor repressed soul!! rip kool kat.. 
•    still super into the stuff of her time so like.. she loves the x files and bad reality tv shows (i want to be a hilton) and reads gossip magazines on the reg because she enjoys that stuff! also very into girl groups.. ginger spice / posh spice is an eternal mood.  
•    anyway yes sweet adult-child of 21 (she is in denial about that tho like she doesn't want to be childish) who is v nice v kind v loyal v baked a lot of time, v passionate v silly. idk what i'm doin hope u like it < 3
004. WANTED CONNECTIONS . 
friends / best friends / ride or dies . jade genuinely loves people, loves talking to strangers and getting into intense conversations with people she’s only just met, learning other people’s way of life and bettering herself for getting. she is, however, incredibly blunt and has never once minced words to keep from hurting someone’s feelings or to ease them into a situation. she’d much rather have a one-time conversation with a stranger than make long lasting relationships. she has three very close friends –  to the point of co - dependence –  and honestly, she’d rather spend all of her time doing things she loves such as her hobbies, sticking her nose into the latest vogue, or searching for cute collars and treats for her cat mica w them instead of making new friends. she's also FUN and she'd be happy to go on crazy road trips or buy out a movie theater for a day or anything that she thinks will her buds happy. she's traveled all over, so she’s v well read and cultured. she loves people but she hates complication and won't deal with any sort of emotional labor. she wants to live in the moment and expects everyone in her life to do so as well. just be chill, y'all. 
frenemies / enemies /  rivals  . please be her enemy, she needs people to antagonize shdhshd. she grew up pretty much affluent so she’s pretty spoiled even if she doesn’t want to admit it, and that rebellious side of her hasn’t died down yet. despite the fact that she is wealthy and in good community standing, she has a hard time letting go of childish grudges. in general she’s got a lot of suppressed feelings and ready to fight everyone who hurts her friends – like an irritated cat – so, honestly, come at her ? she is sometimes a little fickle and flighty and a unintentionally stuck up when it comes to art / fashion and she has definitely said the wrong thing at the wrong time and pissed the wrong people off, she can’t stand anyone underestimating her or thinking she’s dumb bc she’s interested in fashion. like gtfo !
ex’s , fwb’s , possible love interests .  jade is fairly fluid romantically and is the type of person who hates labels but also just wants to be cherished and called cute pet names lowkey. she loves a lot and gives a lot to her relationships, but typically doesn't want to commit to anything important. she’s gone from one disastrous relationship to another, ending up with a boyfriend who constantly ridiculed her image that was essentially the catalyst for her cutting off romantic ties, quite a recent wound before she found herself on the island actually. worst thing is tht she’s convinced herself that she’s been the problem in these relationships –  that she turns good people bad or that she is too much for people to deal with, she’s not sure what the issue is and she doesn’t really want to know. so…. fuck everything amirite ? anyway, she’s a strong independent woman who don’t need no (wo)man. 
etc . pls give me people jade can give a makeover to, people she shares an apartment w on the island, people who think fashion is girly and vapid.. creatives who love what she’s doing, anything tbh << 3
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changji · 5 years
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Wow you really went off the other day but at least it was worth it 😪 I normally look at the scenery when I’m on a road trip, but then I get bored of it and decide to sleep bc there’s nothing else to do. Motion sickness must suck :(( do you take gravol or something to help with it? Coffee literally drains the life out of my funds it hurts me
Yes omg pls make me cookies I love them. Maybe you can even open a bakery with pastries and sell some good /cheap/ coffee. Ilyt my dear baker 🥺 ye I’m not the biggest fan of my bday either but gotta celebrate anyway!! One year closer to death woohoo 🎉🎉 your birthday is the most important day of the year!!! You can’t fight me on this I’m right
Pearls are so good. Like most places I go to don’t add anything to the pearls so it’s just bland squishy balls but the place I frequent adds I think honey to sweeten them. It gives the pearls life istg. It tastes so good 🤤 hollering is a funny word. For some reason I always associate it with yodelling which makes me laugh
Ksks you must be op if you can make a joke in the wall with a door slam. I can’t relate my arms are literally sticks and I have no strength in me. Chrome books are terrible in general. Add my schools terrible wifi and you get one big recipe for disaster. I’d never fight u either (unless it’s for your bday) ily too much for that 🥺🥺🥺
Hahah I think it’s me. I haven’t heard anyone say “go ham” except for the people who go to my school. I find it really funny tho so I try to incorporate it whenever I can LOL easily burnt? Can’t relate but apparently I easily tan. There’s this one diagonal stripe on my shoulder that separates pale me and tan me which ??? How did that happen and what was I wearing for that to happen??
It’s all fun and games until you go outside and see a mountain of snow waiting for you to be shovelled. But there are some good aspects to winter, like skating and skiing and all that fun stuff. Snow is so heavy?? Or maybe I’m just weak but after I finish shovelling I’m beat. Gardening is not my thing. There’s too many bugs involved flying around 🥴
Kind of? I always thought it was short for cappuccino but I could be wrong. They don’t taste like fraps tho, they’re sm better. I was always a frap hoe until I discovered lattes. My old elementary school was close to a Starbucks so whenever frappy hour was happening, my friends and I would go almost every day LOL
I heard that dunkin coffee is really good. Oof there’s so many things that the us have that Canada doesn’t. But apparently you guys don’t have ketchup chips?? How can one live without them? You know that’s what soulmates are, we’re stuck together forever and I don’t mind that. I’d never leave you 😌😌
YES OMG LATTES ARE SO EXPENSIVE. I pay around the same amount and my wallet cries every time. If you ever yeet yourself off a bridge I’d come visit u in hell and bring u iced coffee 💖 we really are soulmates wtf I get almond milk in my lattes as well!! I used to get normal milk and was like “I’m a bad bitch milk can’t hurt me” but that didn’t really work out. Sigh what we do for coffee 😔
Washing dishes is disgusting. I hate doing them but yk someone’s gotta do it and that someone is me 😤 I’m acc lazy when it comes to smoothies, I usually ask my mom to make them LMAO. Pancakes are pretty much made of flour if you think about it so technically when u eat one plain ur eating cooked flour,, how barbaric. Waffles are Built. Like. They have a 20 pack 😪😪
I love angst personally so pls go ham but not too ham I’d like to keep my heart. Honestly at this point my last brain cell has given up on me. But yes I love angst and I love torturing myself with heart wrenching angst that leaves me crying into my pillow at 3am (I’m talking about this one haikyuu fic that I forgot the name of. I was literally dying inside jalsjwo)
Pls do send me peet’s I’ll send you an iced capp in a cooler so it’ll be somewhat melted and probably spilt everywhere 🤪 tumblrs probably gonna block me again, I’m looking at how much I’ve typed rn and it’s a lot lmaoo. Yes I managed to save myself. I redid the whole last with less detail bc I was not Having It but it turned out better?? How is ur drawing now?
I start after labour day in September. But starting in 3 weeks?????? On a Thursday?? I could never wtf. When do you end? I’m so confused with these ap and honours thing, like there’s none offered in my school nor majority of the school district. Are they just advanced classes or something? It is 7 classes a semester or the whole year?
Stan talent i think you meant yourself??? Jsjsksk I am not only ur coffee soulmate I’m not #1 fan as well and I support u bc ily 🥺🥺 the read more tag had me laughing for a hot minute. Like we really could make an essay out of all of our replies. I don’t have any pets (besides fish does that count?) unfortunately bc my moms allergic to fur 🥺 hbu?? (I can’t believe tumblr blocked me again they can fight me)
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i didn’t even pay LOL i freeloaded off my cousin 🤧 i like to look @ scenery sometimes but like i can’t bc my head hurts LOL and the scenery is always the same for me, mountains and fields with cows. i try to take dramamine but it makes me so drowsy that i’m just basically dead,,, i live off of my cousins money so i’m okay 🤪
tbh i use nestle toll house pre made cookie dough, like that shit actually slaps. it’s the best it’s so good omg, perfect for lazy hoes 🤧 death here we go ! the order is ur bday, then skz debut date, and then christmas i don’t make the rules sorry sis 😤
pearls are Dangerous, i once drank a smoothie and there were pearls in it and i couldn’t see them bc there were like. only 3 and they were Buried under the smoothie but i choked and almost died but i chewed one of them and it’s like. so weird. HOLLERING AND YODELING IM- i once went to some public yodeling class and left in 2 seconds bc it was a bunch of white boys dressed like the kid from walmart 😪
it’s not even strength i’m actually rly weak,, i always think the doors are closed but they’re not and so i like slam them open and the walls are thin so it’s just. a sad hole. terrible wifi,, my school has pretty good wifi tbh but we have like three connections, one for the chrome books only, one for the teachers & staff, and one for students and guests. like it works rly good but everyone has a VPN bc of stupid social media restrictions 😤 & ilyt 🥺 u would probably win in a fight tho LOL
go ham is so interesting. the first time i heard it i thought it meant go pig and i was so confused but ig,,, i live lathered in sun screen whenever i go somewhere with the sun. ppl are like “i smell sun screen” and im just there like 🙃 it’s me u got a problem u burnt chicken nugget ??? i wish i tanned easily, i have a tan friend and when i showed her when my legs got tan she was so confused. i thought i was tan tho? bc during marching band season my sock tan becomes So Bad i’m basically white. she said she was blinded when she saw me pull my sock down and i laughed so hard LOL & i hate those dumb random tan lines like. where u @ bro? where u come from??
snow is fun for like a day and then i get tired LOL i csn only handle wet socks and a red nose for so long 😔 i tried skiing one time and i did so bad that the instructor had to hold me down and walk with me down the slope. i fell so many times i think he hated me 😳 i’m also rly bad at skating? i went w my friends once and i held both of their hands and still managed to bring both of them down when i fell. a cute guy once helped me when i was struggling to walk so 🥴 not my brightest moment tbh,, trying to walk in skates while on ice. do u enjoy skiing/skating? also gardening is. gross. worms and dirt and the sun i’m not here for it.
u: cappuccinos! me: ...ice bergs,,, now that i think about it fraps kinda suck,,, i used to think i was So Cool for drinking starbucks but now i’m like. wow. i used to think there was coffee in a frap but it’s just. sugar and ice LOL also speaking of tmrw is bogo fraps here,, idk if it’s all over the world but myb u should check it out 😪
dunkins okay it depends on what you get, i once got an iced latte and it was good but my dad got an iced coffee and he like. hated it so we had to switch and it was so bad like. it was coffee crime. it was horrible and not strong it was basically milk 😤 also,, ketchup chip? i just googled what that was and. that’s literally so weird. fun fact i hate ketchup and all other condiments i can only eat bbq sauce and i tolerate steak sauce
UR LITERALLY SO CUTE OKAY UR MINE NOW HHHH
i mentioned this in the other ask but. we going broke bitches club 😪 when u come visit me it’ll be old town road the one w mason ramsey on a loop. nothing will top the og remix but no, i’ll be stuck listening to some 5 year old rap for all of eternity
I USED TO BE SUCH A GOOD KID AND DRINK MILK EVERY MORNING ever since i got to middle school i preferred sleep over waffles and milk and i hardly drink milk but when i do. my stomach does not have it.
my mom made me wash dishes today and she just stared at me when i put ziploc bags on my hands bc we didn’t have gloves but i just painted my nails and i’m not abt to put myself thru chipped nails. not yet 😤 waffles are so good like i love waffles and lattes only 🤧
well i’ll go very ham (am i doing it right LOL) 😤 the angst ending is a lot better than the open ended or happy ones LOL i’m so excited for it 🥺 i’m rly tryna get it out before the end of this month bc the edit says july and it’ll make me Mad if i don’t get it out before the end of this month
i wanna start in september 🤧 and i usually end in the first week of june. also on a wednesday LOL it’s gross. stupid. ap means advanced placement so it’s just. a college level class. lowkey mad bc i’m taking ap euro (as a sophomore 😒) and other schools take it in their senior years? apparently this is normal? and honors are just faster paced classes with more weighting so,, idrk oops 😬 some people take 7 classes in a semester but i took it for the whole year! this year i’m dropping orchestra i’m Not for that spit in the carpet life
the only talent in this house goes by ada and jisung. i don’t make the rules. i’m ur #1 fan 🥺 as soon as u post anything i automatically smash that rb button LOL also put a read more here bc like. we’re really out here writing a whole ass essay. i’ll look @ all our convos bet it’ll be like. a lot. i don’t wanna say smth and be off so i’ll just not. i have a dog! he’s the cutest in the world and i love him sm 🥺 tumblr can fight me first like. what’s this ask limit bull hhhhh
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oceanbreaks · 6 years
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           T A S K    T H R E E   :   Q U E S T I O N N A I R E 
⋆ ◦ ° ☾ 001. GENERAL.
does your character have any nicknames ? no, that’s sad someone give him one, make it stupid - like boo bear.
when was your character born ? november 11th, 1984.
where was your character born ? valdez, colorado.
is your character allergic to anything ? nah, this bitch invincible.
does your character have any illnesses ? a doctor a day keeps the apple away.
what is your character’s mbti type ?  enfp, the campaigner.
what is your character’s economic status ? upper middle-class.
⋆ ◦ ° ☾ 002. APPEARANCE.
what is the color of your character’s eyes ? hazel , i think.
what is the color and texture of your character’s hair ? ramen noodles.
how tall is your character ? six foot, yeet . his only redeeming quality imo .
what is your character’s body type ? lanky af, might break if u step on him.
does your character have any scars ?scarification cos he’s an edgy bitch, prick marks, picked scabs scars.
what is your character’s post prominent feature ? this dicc . kidding xd , his brows be thicc.
does your character have any body modifications ? no piercings, too many tattoos.
what is your character’s clothing style ? mismatched everything.
what does your character’s voice sound like ? annoying.
what does your character smells like ? weed, irish spring-old spice infusion, but mostly weed.
what are some unique mannerisms ( talking with their hands, accents, talking fast, etc ) your character has ? so many hand gestures, put them in your pockets fool.
⋆ ◦ ° ☾ 003. FAMILY.
does your character have any siblings ?yeet, an older brother. we kinda stan, sometimes.
what are the names of your character’s parents ? are they still alive ? jane and ryan, they’re the whitest suburban parents okay don’t hold their names against them.
does your character have any children ?not that he knows of.
does your character have a spouse ? no, thank god.
who is your character’s favorite family member ? probably his brother uwu.
did they ever live with their family ? if so, how old were they when they left home ? yeppers, lived with them until he went to college.
does your character want to have children ? or do they want more, if they already have them ? yeah he wouldn’t mind, if it happened he’d be excited but like wldn’t put the effort in to be like hyfr kids !
⋆ ◦ ° ☾ 004. FAVORITES.
season: one of true detective. he doesn’t care for the weather !
curse word: shit, that was a classic.
food: pizza, basic bitch.
book: what’s reading.
artist: fábio magalhães , disgusting .
animal: it’s weird to have a favourite animal and thas the fax.
tv show: mind hunter, the twilight zone.
movie: videodrome and don’t u forget it .
social media: y-y-youtube. ( also twitter & facebook ).
⋆ ◦ ° ☾ 005. PERSONALITY.
is your character street-smart, book-smart, intelligent, intellectual, slow-witted ? he acts like a dumbass but he’s smart-ish, he literally has a masters in film criticism, i mean u gotta be kinda smart to bullshit right.
what does your character want from a partner ? what do they think and feel of sex ? constant love and attention, sex is cool but watching your partner appreciate ur favourite part of ur favourite movie ? just as orgasmic .
what are your character’s weaknesses ? he’s a bad bitch u can’t kill him.
how well does your character accept / own up to their own mistakes ? how do they deal with the mistakes of others ? he owns up to his mistakes all the time, cos he makes a lot of them xd , he’s pretty forgiving but like . . [ gay judgement ]
is your character pragmatic ? responsible ? reckless?  i’m tasha, im 20 and i never learned the definition of pragmatic, good thing he’s reckless then.
how is your character’s imagination ? daydreaming a lot ? worried most of the time ? he doesn’t daydream per se but he has a lot of ideas that he’ll let you know about.
is your character aware of who they are ? of their strengths and weaknesses ?no, he’s oblivious. but ignorance is bliss yeet, it makes him invincible again , he’s a bad bitch. you can’t kill him.
how they react when facing a stranger’s suffering ? what about the suffering of their loved ones ? [ gay panic ] with strangers and [ gay judgement ] with family.
how do they feel about their physical body ? hates it, a shoddy vessel for an excellent soul.
what do other people think your character’s worst quality is ? well he’s a fuckin deadbeat so maybe jot that down.
is your character an introvert or an extrovert ? extrovert , disgusting.
⋆ ◦ ° ☾ 006. EXPERIENCES.
has your character ever been arrested ? petty crimes, his parents always bailed him out tho shoutout to them uwu.
has your character ever cheated on a partner ? no, he fucks with monogamy ok ):
has your character ever been cheated on by a partner? no, none of his relationships have ever lasted long enough dhfjg
has your character ever been in love ? how did it turn out ? well ya, probably. how all relationships turn out, down the shithole.
has your character ever had sex ? what was their first time like ? he sure has, it was drunken and awkward and endearing in that way ig.
what was your character’s first party like ? drunken and awkward and endearing in that way. prolly blacked out.
who was your character’s first love ? redacted cos i’m too tired to head canon.
what is their best childhood memory ? what about the worst ? getting into shenanigans with his brother. worst - anything involving his parents and their sad eyes ’n judgement, gross.
what’s the most terrible thing that ever happened to your character ? when he woke up in a literal garbage dumb and got literal rabies and had to get a literal tetanus shot. that and the time he was constipated for like six days straight , ugh.
what are some past occupations your character has had, if any ? he’s delivered pizzas, glenn rhee is quaking. kidding he outsells ly boo.
what are their most embarrassing memory ? any time he’s shat his pants, there’s no way for it not to be embarrassing - no matter how many times it happens.
have they ever done charity work ? um no .. lmao.
⋆ ◦ ° ☾ 007. QUIRKS.
does your character drink ? do they take drugs ? imagine if i said no.
what is your character’s most prized possession ? stupid film mementos given to him by stupid film ppl.
what are three things you can always find in your character’s wallet / purse ? condoms ( i say this as if he ever gets laid ), cash, cards.
what are your character’s bad habits ? his whole life, that and he leaves the toilet seat up.
is your character a night owl or early bird ? night owl, hoot hoot.
do they prefer crunchy or smooth peanut butter ? s-s-smooth?
do they prefer netflix or hulu ?both.
do they prefer cats or dogs ? dogs.
are they left handed, right handed or ambidextrous ? left handed, quirky bitch.
⋆ ◦ ° ☾ 008. RANDOM.
did your character like school ? what was their favorite subject ? [ me in 2k12 vc ] i love learning, i just hate homework and like, school and applying things. english ):
is your character good at their job ? hell yeah fr !
what is your character’s dream job ? doesn’t have one, legend.
what is your character afraid of ? what keeps them up at night ? not being in control of bodily functions, aging.
what did your character’s childhood home look like ? was it in valdez ? it sure was, and it was white picket fence suburbia. v cute.
what is your character’s level of comfort with technology ? decent. he knows how to troubleshoot and stuff, he doesn’t use computers for that much though.
what is a talent your character thinks they have but is very wrong about ?singing … sweaty … hush … this is why the band died.
what is a talent your character actually has ? driving , is that a talent ? no ? ok, then having swag.
what does your character’s home look like? listen their apartment is nice ok, it’s just made ugly by bobby’s presence.
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stillwooozy · 3 years
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tw rape ig but no one reads this diary blog
But does anyone else.... FORGET they were raped? Like not repressed trauma/memories (i... really dont believe that to say the least.....) but just..... i push it so far away that something ovious needs to push the knowledge forward
ive been in some shitty sitautions jfc. the only reason i can type this rn is cuz im numb cuz if drugs
Anyways i was raped twice and almost raped once. well once i dont remmeber cuz i was drugged but ik i was raped. and like ... it sucks man. It really does. i acknowledge those experiences probably fucked me up more than i give them credit. A part of me does blme myself tho, which ofc isnt “right” but i cant help it. I put myself into dangerous situations knowing the full possibilties. I liked the thrill. It added excitement and made me feel imporant when i felt if everyone hated me
Like no one knows. I feel like no one understands. My choices led to my experiences, and its just humiliating. Idk why im thinking of this now
No i know. Its cuz im hypersexual and asexual at the same time. And i have no more close friends. Im lonely. And i cant keep relationships.
I feel like my experience/life is normal. And the sad part is i think it is.
I hold 0 spite towards # me-too to clarify. I dont even want ppl to address men rape cuz gay men are villianized like taht. Countless times gay men, gay fucking boys, are “canceled” for bullshit they never did cuz straight ppl are so afraid of gay guys. But its not being gay that is the problem. Its just so many men. Its a society taht treats mentally ill like trash& has a toddlers understanding of consent. Cuz to truly value consent... u have to go against a lot of the status quo
Im just angry at my younger self. Why did i purposefully put myself in danger? I know why. Its just gonna hurt for a while. Been years now .
No.. it doesnt hurt it just negatively impacts me.
And i cant fcking speak about
Or tecnically i can but come on. I am surrounded by emough shame and humilitation around me. Im mentally fucked and king of bad decisions. Even therapists get weirded out. Even good ones. Not weirded out, just.... unable to address it.
I can understand genocide more than rape. Like actual rape. Like i was held at knife point. Wish i was making up some fun story. Who tf gets pleasure from that?????? Just sign up on fetlife and find a partner and roleplay. U dont need to ruin a 16 yr old boy and take away his dignity. I hate it. There are si many other power games to play???
I like.. just push the mmeory away. I walk by the gay bar where i happened in the bathroom for the first time and i barely flinch. I pretend it was a dream ya know, like hahah so pathetic of me. Having my drink spiked was better. it was just so horrible waking up the next day in a strange apartment and the man was like... nonchallent. He didnt say ANYTGHING and it delt like i was in a horror movie cuz he coukd if killed me, he could of done snuthing, i hate jo idea what haooened ro my body and i just left. Snd somethimes i think i see him but ik its not i just can barely remmeber his face and who the FUCK does that ????? But mayeb i flirted too kuch: but why did he do that? I orobably wouldnof rucked him if he just asked. Idk. The last time i was like 17 Or 18? Idk actually i dont think younger but not odler thna 19, but i actually fought back and then just fcking ran. He had a knife tho and now i had one too and thats the moral why i alwYs have a swiss army knife in my backoack.
Its jdut fucked io, right? I mean ppl have it worse. I couldnt imagine getting abused or raped by like.... ur uncle as a CHILD. Idk.
Im sad rn. How can i be sad on so many happy pills? For some reason i feel extra disgusting cuz its been so long since anyone could use me. I dont like being used and at this point i am DONE with sex i just like attention. And letting someone fuck me is great attenrion. And man, fuck fetish jate, i love ppl w:l/ fetishes becasue its way more rhan shoving their musty dick in me. I dont have a foot fetish in the slightest - but u wany to massga emy feet and suck my toes? Go to town boy
I miss my ex. We didnt talk about this much hut thats my oroblem. She had no sinilar experience but she is very emoathetic and i trust her. Like she didnt make me feel weak or pathetic when i disclosed it ya know. I just said “i have had some unconseual sex experiences and they rly never come into play but i’ll lyk if they do” and shes was just like “omg lets talk about it when ur ready, no pressure, idk why u didnt tell me earlier but im so sorry” and it made me nut just feeling ~validated~ like that.
Well im gling to sleep. Enjoy ky tangenr. I cant type jfc thays a bad sign but hey!!!! If i dont remember writinh this, it will still exist, and i can read it weeks later and go “damn. I rly was numb yhay night if i was able to so chillly talk about some of the worst events if my life”
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