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#if you're not mentioned—it means that i can't tag your blog

oepionie · 1 year

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— MY WRITING TAGLIST

꒰ ♡ : comment to be added! please specify which fandom you want to be tagged in!

TWISTED WONDERLAND:

@keedas @spadecentral @crypticbibliophile @pastellepastary @cassidycampfire @cocomollo @poisonioushearts @kawaiipotatoghost @ramvuda @sweeneyblue1 @the-lost-anime-dad @kyraxiyn @mayaaaeo @fluffimemes @awkwardspontaneity @gussuri @lunavixia @heatofmyexoheart @pianopuppygirl @cross-crye @cerisescherries @teenage-discomfort @cecilebutcher@savanaclaw1996 @msykaroly @a-bit-late @imdevotedtoyou @syl-lithy @solomonslostsock @noidonothavetimeforthis @driftaway27 @supernovaicloud @senpaiofotome @bontensbabygirl @siren-serenity @lunarapple @qualitytrashgremlin

NOTE: I no longer take dorm/character specific tag requests

floyd only: @furoidoleech

diasomnia, leona, & deuce: @skadi-winterfell

octavinelle only: @mushroomchaos101 @rainybeebs

azul only: @taruruchi

#if you're not mentioned—it means that i can't tag your blog

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puppyluver256 · 7 months

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Don't look away.

The hands clasp the sides of my head tightly, preventing me from moving.

Don't look away.

The person they belong to force my gaze onto grisly scenes of death, destruction, torment.

Don't look away.

I stare in horror at all the suffering before me.

Don't look away.

I close my eyes, but the hands' impossibly long fingers force my eyelids back open.

Don't look away.

My eyes begin to water, whether it is because of their being forced open for so long or my heart breaking at all I see I cannot tell.

Don't look away.

Why is this happening? I cry.

Because of reasons you will never be able to understand. Keep watching.

Is there anything I can do to stop it? I ask.

You must inform anyone you come across of this travesty. You must not let them look away either. But the suffering will continue regardless. They are all convinced they are in the right, all fighting for the will of a god that they will never confirm to be real, in fact the same god in wildly different interpretations. All the while, the innocents caught in the crossfire will continue to die, glorified in the disgusting "honor" known as martyrdom.

If there is nothing substantial I can do, I plead, then why are you forcing me to watch?

#the book of jess #decided to change out the ramble tag for the writing tag because this *was* meant more as a kind of freeverse poetry #in a sense #death mention #idk man i'm stressed enough with my own problems i don't need the world's problems nor the guilt-tripping crap #and people who can't be assed to let people post what they want on their own blogs #or attempt to work out what is clearly meant to be metaphor #the unseen person's fingers keeping my eyes held open was symbolic of me trying to filter things that people rework to intentionally bypass #said filters to *make* you see things that you're specifically filtering out #remember when the internet was an escape from reality?#curating your dashboard means nothing when the things that appear on it are purposefully set to bypass your curation #you may notice the ''might delete later'' tag is gone...decided i wouldn't delete this after all #just cuz

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copperbadge · 3 months

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AI Scraping Isn't Just Art And Fanfic

Something I haven't really seen mentioned and I think people may want to bear in mind is that while artists are the most heavily impacted by AI visual medium scraping, it's not like the machine knows or cares to differentiate between original art and a photograph of your child.

AI visual media scrapers take everything, and that includes screengrabs, photographs, and memes. Selfies, pictures of your pets and children, pictures of your home, screengrabs of images posted to other sites -- all of the comic book imagery I've posted that I screengrabbed from digital comics, images of tweets (including the icons of peoples' faces in those tweets) and instas and screengrabs from tiktoks. I've posted x-ray images of my teeth. All of that will go into the machine.

That's why, at least I think, Midjourney wants Tumblr -- after Instagram we are potentially the most image-heavy social media site, and like Instagram we tag our content, which is metadata that the scraper can use.

So even if you aren't an artist, unless you want to Glaze every image of any kind that you post, you probably want to opt out of being scraped. I'm gonna go ahead and say we've probably already been scraped anyway, so I don't think there's a ton of point in taking down your tumblr or locking down specific images, but I mean...especially if it's stuff like pictures of children or say, a fundraising photo that involves your medical data, it maybe can't hurt.

If you do want to officially opt out, which may help if there's a class-action lawsuit later, you're going to want to go to the gear in the upper-right corner on the Tumblr desktop site, select each of your blogs from the list on the right-hand side, and scroll down to "Visibility". Select "Prevent third party sharing for [username]" to flip that bad boy on.

Per notes: for the app, go to your blog (the part of the app that shows what you post) and hit the gear in the upper right, then select "visibility" and it will be the last option. If you have not updated your app, it will not appear (confirmed by me, who cannot see it on my elderly version of the app).

You don't need to do it on both desktop and mobile -- either one will opt you out -- but on the app you may need to load each of your sideblogs in turn and then go back into the gear and opt out for that blog, like how you have to go into the settings for each sideblog on desktop and do it.

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kooqitas · 2 months

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— sharing ★ with: bts

#pairings: bf!jungkook X friends!bts X reader #synopsis: where your boyfriend decides to ask his friends what they want to see #tags: pwp, group sex, blowjob, rough oral sex (m.), fingering (f.), humiliation, degradation, cumslut, spit, sperm, tears, free use (?). aftercare mentioned but not shown. mention of bisexual jungkook #notes: this is more fetishistic than usual on this blog, so DON'T READ if you're uncomfortable with 7 guys cumming on your face and swearing at you. #wc: 2,2k

you see your friends after a months, like since you and jungkook are living together you don't see them. it's funny, cause you are friends an years ago, but at a some months you just can't see each other.

"you're so hot dressing like that, maybe if we fuck before the guys comes..." jungkook said lifting your skirt and rubbing your hole.

"namjoon text me, he said that come in five minutes with the guys"

"i promise that i can make you cum in five minutes"

you laughed, because you know that’s real…

but the other six guys are at your door in five minutes. not just six guys but six best friends of yours.

"i know that we fucked yesterday, but god, i need eat your pussy again, i'm addicted, i need fuck you every hour, every minute, every second, night after night..." despite the completely dirty speech, jungkook was kissing his shoulder calmly.

“the guys are coming in any minute” you tried to convince yourself.

“don't be so mean to me, give me that dirty little hole, please”

jungkook moved one of his hands up to the thin strap of your shirt, pulling it down and exposing your nipples, he turned you around, putting his mouth there without any ceremony. you were used to your boyfriend's tongue, how he sucked and bit the nipple of your breast with devotion.

and then the doorbell rang.

"jungkook, stop, the boys are here." you tried to stop your boyfriend.

"i'm sure they wouldn't mind seeing me fuck you, baby. and you don't mind showing how that tight hole stretches with my cock, sure?”

god, this is a FUCKING true, you and jungkook are worse than each other, but more than showing, you'd easily let them stretch you too!

"i know exactly what you thought, dirty little girl." he said before going back to sucking your nipples.

and then they rang the doorbell again.

"holy shit!" jungkook complained, going to open the door, you are trying clumsily to put your clothes in place.

when the other six men entered your house you smiled, you missed them, namjoon was the first to hug you, leaving a kiss on your forehead in a gentle way, and damn, you had seen some photos he posted at the gym, but he was BIG…

seokjin came next, the tall man kissing your hand before giving you a cute hug.

and after, jimin came, leaving a wet kiss on your cheek as he always did, the blonde guy had a scent that was enough to make your panties even wetter.

shit, jungkook shouldn’t have teased you.

you noticed that taehyung whispered something to yoongi, who laughed, muttering something like 'have decency?' and only then did you notice that, probably due to jungkook's saliva, your tits were wet, and the thin shirt clearly marked this.

"oh, yes! you disturbed us, i was dying to fuck my wife and you arrived."

a lot of things happened in that sentence, jungkook calling you 'my wife' and mainly, him exposing your sex life to all his friends.

it's not like they didn't imagine, you were friends before you and jungkook dated, the other six knew what you were like, and how jungkook was too, it was a matter of adding a + b, sometimes they would say something in the group chat, but It was the first time they had said something like that in front of them.

"if you want to fuck her, i don't care, as long as i can watch. it's not like i've never fucked you guys." hoseok said as if she wished a 'good morning'.

and that was the truth, besides jungkook, you had already had sex with at least four of your friends, and the same went for him, it's very likely that that's why he wasn't jealous.

"oh, can i? because i really want to do this."

god, your boyfriend was a perv.

“please, i miss seeing her tits.” namjoon confessed, reminding you of how he loved being on top of you, sucking your nipple to make you relax on his fat cock.

“dude, respect my girl!”

jungkook scolded namjoon, but you knew it was a joke as soon as your boyfriend came behind you, pulling the strap of your shirt down and exposing your breasts to his friends.

if you stopped to think about it, you would think it was crazy, your boyfriend sharing you with six other guys, but on the other hand, the other six guys were your friends, and you wanted much more than just looks at you.

“does anyone want to see anything else?” jungkook asked, making you feel your panties soaking, you felt like an exposed slut, a trophy, and that would never be a bad thing.

"her panties" seokjin said, looking at you with devotion, you had never done anything other than kiss him at a party.

“i want something” taehyung said.

"what do you want to see?"

"i want to see her on her knees sucking my cock." it was direct.

"if you suck taehyung's cock you'll have to suck mine too!' yoongi spoke up.

"and certainly mine too." jimin said, rubbing his thumb across his lips.

“let me get this straight,” jungkook scratched his throat. "are you saying to my face that you want my wife to give you a blowjob?"

"it was you who offered her to us like a prostitute." hoseok spoke up, unbuckling his belt.

god, you never felt so horny, your boyfriend and your friends discussed you as if you were even in that room.

"what do you think about this, baby?" Jungkook asked you.

"well..." you just walked around the counter, heading towards the sofa (being followed by the seven men as if they were puppies), and then removed your skirt and the blouse that was around your waist.

jungkook came to you, kissing you as you removed his clothes, his fingers brushing the white lace of your wet panties as you let out little moans into his mouth. your boyfriend was completely turned on, rubbing his pecs on your nipples making you moan even more.

"my little slut is so greedy, seven guys in your mouth? will you be able to handle it?"

"i need to get it!"

"good whore!" he kissed you one last time. "you don't deserve that much, organize yourself to kiss her in pairs, and you know her and the word, anything I'll insist on killing each one of you.”

jungkook barely finished and jimin and seokjin came close to you, jimin from behind, pressing his already hard cock on your back, and seokjin on your belly, at that moment you wanted both of them inside you, but all you got was seokjin sucking and nibbling your nipples while jimin kissed you and played with your wet panties. you moaning to the two of them while the other five watched everything.

you didn't even notice when taehyung and yoongi arrived, their firm hands using you to rub themself, it was pathetic, the pinch that yoongi gave your left nipple while your hand was inside taehyung's pants made you scream in pain, but mixed with pleasure, you liked that aggressive way.

"are you going to call me daddy again tonight?" namjoon asked as he approached you with hoseok, sticking two fingers into your pussy without any warning when hoseok’s kissing you “i missed that drippy messy hole.” namjoon goes fast, he starts scissoring his fingers inside you, you moan so loud because everything is even hotter when you see all those other men looking at you.

"i think the guys will like to see this" hoseok moved out of your way, exposing everyone to the image of you moaning into namjoon's fingers.

"so pretty our bimbo slut!" jimin said, watching the scene.

your boyfriend wanted to tell namjoon to stop it, take you to the bedroom and fuck you until his body shut down, but just seeing how much fun you were having with it all made him wait.

namjoon adds a third finger in without warning and you're feel so humiliated, leak around his hands when he fucks his fingers in and out of your cunt at an insane rhythm.

"tell your boyfriend how much you miss my cock opening all that hole, how much you miss your girl juices running down my cock. how you love look at my cock crammed in your tight pussy” and then he took his fingers out of you, rubbing them on your lips and forcing you to kneel on the floor. “you're not going to cum, unless whore, you're going to shove our dicks down your throat and let us cum all over your body, then your boyfriend sees what he does to you full of other men's cum”

and then you noticed the other six men approach you with their dicks in their hands, taehyung was the first to pull your hair, and you were agile with your warm tongue tracing his dick up and down.

while your tongue was still on taehyung, hoseok rubbed his balls in your face, and you tried to grab them on your tongue too, but it was in vain.

“jungkook you date a prostitute!” seokjin said when you grabbed his dick, starting a masturbation.

"i'm sure she can handle two" jimin said, shoving his cock along with taehyung's down your throat.

and you sucked it, not even you know how, but you sucked it like it was the most delicious lollipop in the world while they both thrust hard into your throat.

at one point in the night, you had jimin and taehyung's dick in your mouth and seokjin and hoseok one in each hand. namjoon, jungkook and yoongi took turns rubbing their dicks over your body and slapping your chest and face.

jimin took his dick out of your mouth, and you fit seokjin's cock, watching from the side as jimin started jerking off.

yoongi was in your right hand, you caressing his balls.

you felt some tears in your eyes, sometimes hitting your friends' thighs to make them stop for you to breathe, before returning to the aggressive pace.

the feeling was much more pleasant due to the environment than the sexual act itself, since you could barely actually suck the dicks, every time someone was coming in and out of your mouth.

"i think this stupid bitch was too greedy, she hasn't choked on my dick yet" namjoon complained, making you release seokjin and hoseok's dick that were in your mouth, when the two came out, an absurd amount of saliva ran out of you, it was humiliating, but you didn't have much time to think as soon namjoon grabbed your hair and made your nose touch his pelvis.

and then yoongi and jungkook joined him, rubbing their balls all over your face while you just opened your mouth and gladly accepted whatever they gave you.

"you look like a bitch in heat, trying to suck all these dicks when you clearly can't!" yoongi complained.

and this triggered a series of humiliations.

"disgusting mouth, can't even suck dick properly!" jimin said.

"i'm ashamed to say that that mouth touched my dick." seokjin said as he buried his throat on his cock, making you cough and cry.

"i think the only good hole in you is your pussy." namjoon said shortly after spitting at you, encouraging the other six to do the same.

no matter how much they cursed and humiliated you, you had never felt so good, the feeling of having seven men in a circle around you was inexplicable.

and when hoseok left your mouth just to cum you felt even better.

his sperm falling down your face and breasts, mixing with that of jimin and taehyung who came soon after.

“our cumslut, so disgusting, free whore, thank u, jungkook” taehyung joked, grabbing your hair.

you came back with namjoon's dick in your mouth, choking and coughing several times as he fucked your mouth with even greater force than he used to do in your other holes.

“dating jungkook made you stupid, that mouth doesn't do anything right!” namjoon shouted, pulling his dick out of your throat only to spit a thick string of saliva there and hit you on face.

your face full of other guys cum while you was still sucking namjoon was what made your boyfriend cum on your face, making namjoon's big cock a little dirty.

"be useful at least a little and make me cum in that throat" yoongi said.

you put yoongi's dick back in your mouth, sucking it and namjoon's as they fucked you, and you saw stars as they came together and filled your throat, so full to the point that it leaked out of your mouth even though you tried to swallow.

you cum, without any stimulation other than the humiliation and the cum on your body, you just came so hard that your body shook.

you were a mess, your entire body and the room floor is a mixture of tears, cum, and spit. and you were still fucking wet.

"do you want some help with her?" your friends offered, after putting on your clothes and seeing that you were completely destroyed.

“no need,” jungkook thanked. "i take care of my princess."

and then the other six walked over to you, giving you a careful peck on the mouth before being led to the door.

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russellsppttemplates · 3 months

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I'm always over the moon (Lando Norris)

A look into your and Lando's little life moments

Note: english is not my first language. It's fluffy, so you know I pratically melted (and am now feeling single in about seventeen different levels)✨️

Thank you so much to everyone who likes and reblogs, your feedback is appreciated 🤍 and I'm taking requests so if you have any ideas or concepts you want to share, feel free to do so as I'll try to get to them the best I can!

my masterlist

Tw: mentions accident drop of a glass and possibility of injury

Tag list: @myloverjk-blog

Today's training session was particularly hard, Jon having Lando run a considerable amount of kilometres more than the usual distance followed by a weights session. By the time he was finished his cryotherapy session, he was more than ready to go home and snuggle up to you in the sofa.

Setting his keys on the little bowl by the door, Lando left his shoes on the coat cabinet by the door before walking to the ensuite bathroom where he heard noise from.

"I'm home, baby", he said, crossing the corner and resting his body on the side of the door, watching you rub product on your face.

"Hey, Lan", you smiled at him through the mirror, putting the lid on the pot you were using and storing it away.

Approaching him, you laced your arms around his neck, fingers playing with the curls ay the nape of his neck, "how was your session?", you wondered before kissing his lips.

"It was a killer, Jon set out to push me to the limit today", he hummed, hands finding your waist and holding your body close to his, "and you?", he checked.

"I worked all day, finally finished the prototypes for the next Quadrant campaign, then I worked out and I was just finishing my shower when you arrived", you added.

"I should've come home earlier, I could have joined you in there", he smirked, lowering his head to your neck and kissing the skin softly, earning your giggles as you squirmed.

"You're tickling me", you smiled, curling yourself closer against him, "but it's alright, baby, we'll do it another time".

When you separated yourself from his slightly, Lando noticed what you were wearing, "ugh, baby, I don't know what would be better, getting home when you were in the shower or this", he complimented.

"What do you mean?", you scrunched your eyebrows, looking down at your outfit. Because you had moisturised your whole body, from head to toe, after your workout, you decided to put on your tiny pyjamas shorts and one of Lando's t-shirts, the bottom piece fitting your thighs loosely while his t-shirt fit snug on your hips and chest, the fabric leaving little to the imagination. Even though he knew everything it kept away, he loved the way your curvilinear body looked in his t-shirt.

"I love it when you wear my clothes, they look so good on you, too god even", he nibbled on your ear lobe, hands tapping your thighs so you knew to jump and wrap your legs around his waist.

"I thought you were too tired, baby", you brushed the curls away from his eyes, "I am, but that doesn't mean I won't spend the evening glued to you", he winked, carrying you to the sofa in the living room, laying you both down and wrapping you both in a blanket.

"Can't have you feeling cold, baby", he mumbled, fixing the blanket before his hand travelled under the t-shirt and settled on your tummy, making you hum in content, "I love you, baby", you cooed.

"Alright, let's get to work!", Lando clapped after setting the last box on the living room floor.

When you moved all of the things you wanted to Monaco, Lando insisted you should bring your favourite books, reasoning that the apartment should also have some of your things instead of just his helmets for decoration. So, three boxes were shipped with your favourite book collections and stand alones and, you and Lando took the afternoon to organise them.

"I get this can be boring for you, Lan, I can do it myself if you want to go stream or just game", you added, kissing his cheek lovingly.

"Absolutely not, baby, I want to help you! So, how do you want this?", he asked as he looked at what was in the boxes, "do you want to do this by colour? Genre? Date? The ones you've read and the ones you haven't read yet", he suggested.

"We can go a bit with the colour schemes you already have with the helmets", you tried, looking over at the colour palette the books made up.

Wiping the shelves one last time, you sat on the floor and handed the books over to your boyfriend, guiding him through the order and way you wanted to display them.

"Oh, I remember this one - I read it to you the first time I spent the night at your place! You didn't want to seem weird and admit you needed to read a little before going to bed and thought you could go without it for one night!", he smiled at the memory, "Little did you know that it was another one of the things that attracted me to you and I was more than happy to read to you", he winked, leaving you flustered as you handed him the next book, "very smooth, Mr. Norris", you blushed.

"I like to keep you on your toes", he chuckled, "next, there's room for that big collection there", he pointed to the eight books that shared the same design, "might be a tight squeeze, but I think it's fine", he muttered as you handed him the books.

By the time you finished, the living room looked like a good mixture of you and Lando. The books added a pop of colour and softer tone along with the new picture frames you scattered.

"It looks great", Lando said, pulling you closer to him as he wrapped his arm around your shoulder, "our home is coming together nicely", he kissed the side of your head.

"They can spend the day, of course I don't mind", you smiled as you out the cutlery away in the drawer.

"It's your home too, baby, just wanted to make sure you're fine with it", Lando reasoned as he wiped the counter.

It was still weird to refer to the apartment as your home, but you wouldn't have it any other way. Closing the door and moving to the cups drying on the counter, you grabbed a tea towell and started drying them before setting them in the cupboard.

"I'll make sure to not make too much noise, or I can go and work at the café down the street, it's - shoot!", you cursed as the glass slipped from your hold, falling on the floor and shattering into little pieces.

"Careful, darling, you might hurt yourself more", Lando urged, stretching his arms and helping you stand where there were no glass shards.

"I'm sorry, I thought the towell wasn't that slippery", you said as Lando scanned your hands for any cuts or injuries, moving to your feet and ankles.

"It's okay, baby, I don't care about the glass, I care about you", he kissed your fingers, "there's a little graze here", he pointed to the small nick on your skin, "go wash it off while gather these", he kissed your cheek and looked for the broom.

Making sure he had sweeped all of it and then passing the vacuum cleaner just to make sure, Lando finished putting the glasses away as you stood by the door, "it's fine,Y/N, we'll go to IKEA and get a new one", he conforted, "now, are we ready for bed?", he wondered as he held your hand as you walked to the bedroom.

"My shoulders are killing me, I think I slept funny", you mumbled, trying to find a good position against the office chair, Lando's look questioning your movements.

"Are you in pain? You should've said something", he tutted, hands coming to rub the muscles along your shoulders and neck as Ria went over the latest filming plans.

"Y/N, are you okay, girl?", Ria asked, concerned at the faces you were pulling, "are you sure he's helping you rather than making it worse?", she teased.

"Hey!", Lando yelled, "I'm trying to be a great boyfriend, making sure she's feeling well and taken care of! I think that's jealousy", he smirked, poking his tongue out at her.

"It's feeling good, handsome, especially right there", you groaned, earning a whistle from Max.

"If you guys need a room, I'm sure they can find something relatively kept away!", he laughed, luckily missing the pillow your boyfriend threw at him, "no need to resort to violence, guys!".

"Bring that pillow over here, please, I actually need it", you asked him, taking it from his hands as he quickly walked away, "what, are you afraid I was going to make you trip?", you giggled.

"I don't know, the two of you are never up to any good!", Max raised his hands in defense as Lando kissed your forehead, "He's just jealous because we're a great team and P isn't here with him".

Weekends with no racing and no plans quickly became your favourite because you were able to spend as much time as you possibly could with Lando, the triple header ahead of you already promising to make spending time just with him on your own a bit difficult.

When Lando woke up like clockwork, he stretched his neck just enough to watch you sleep cuddled up to his side, your hand grabbing a handful of the sheets that were keeping you warm as you peacefully slept, and knowing how much Quadrant had kept you up late that past week, he thought it would be nice to let you sleep for a bit longer.

Carefully getting up to not wake you up, Lando kissed your cheek soflty and made his side of the bed, tucking the sheets around your body as he lightly kissed your head one last time before he went to the ensuite to change into his workout clothes.

Heading to the kitchen, Lando filled his water bottle and grabbed a pre-workout snack to take to the home gym. Looking at the equipment in the room and the cardio indications Jon had sent him, he decided that he was going on the bike, figuring that, even though the sound isolation was pretty good, it would be the least likely to make too much noise to the point of waking you up, following up with some weights and then stretching.

He was all sweaty when he walked back into the bedroom, ready to have a shower when he heard the sheets ruffling, "hey, baby, good morning", he smiled, "you can go back to sleep, I just need to take a shower, I'm sorry I woke you up", he pouted.

"Morning", you yawned, "I'm going to shower with you", you smiled sleepily, getting up and joining him in the ensuite.

Leaving your clothes in a pile on the floor, Lando got the shower started, making sure the water was warm as you both liked before stepping in with you, letting the water wash away before you grabbed your shower gel, lathering it on Lando's hands and then on yours as you both helped the other wash off, stealing kissing and caresses along the way.

When you got back to the bedroom and dressed in lounge wear clothes, you were ready to have breakfast, finding the overnight oats in the kitchen, "I don't mind if you want to eat something else", Lando offered.

"These are good, I don't mind it", you said, "but I am going to make my latte because my brain can't go without the caffeine", you scrunched up your nose, earning his giggles as you turned on the coffee machine.

"Can I have a little sip, please?", Lando asked once you frothed up the milk, "of course, here baby", you encouraged, bringing the mug up to his lips and having your hand form a shell under it just in case it spilled.

Lando was left with a little foam moustache, earning a giggle from you as you kissed him, "my little frothy man", you cupped his cheek before kissing him properly, "I love you, Y/N", he whispered, pulling you into his embrace.

"You pick the movie, I have to go pee", you said to your boyfriend, letting him walk inside the living room as you continued down the hall to the bathroom.

For tonight's plan, you and Lando decided to stay in and cook together, wanting to enjoy the small task without rushing or heating up something from his meal plan, still making something healthy and approved by his team.

When you got back to the living room,

Lando had his Spotify app on the TV, a slow song you recognised from his brother's wedding playlist ready to play, "would you do me the honour of joining me in this dance?", he asked, kissing your knuckles before looking up at you, eyes sparkly as you replied, "yes, I will", you smiled, allowing him to push you flush to his chest, slowdancing in the living room once he started the song, your head in his chest listening to his steady heartbeat.

"Everyday I thank my lucky starts that we met, that I was bold enough to ask you out and that you've stayed with me all of these years", he broke the silence as he unattached his lips from your temple, "and I never want to loose this, little touches, giggles, wins and losses, all of it", he smiled.

"You're the best thing that has happened to me, Lando", you cupped his face in your hands, thumbs brushing his cheeks as he smiled, "I can only hope you feel as happy as I do when I'm with you".

"Darling, with you, I'm always over the moon", he giggled, kissing your lips softly as he stumbled you two into the sofa, roaming hands and tongues battling eachother as a night of love and passion unfolded.

#lando norris imagine #lando norris x reader #lando norris fanfic #lando norris fluff #f1 imagine #f1 fluff #f1 x reader #f1 fanfic

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byooregard · 1 month

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x men tumblr dashboard simulator

bluebabadee

THIS BLOG IS A SAFE SPACE FOR NON-HUMAN PASSING MUTANTS. HUMAN PASSING MUTANTS DNI

10 notes 📌Pinned Post

sparklejays Follow

based on your likes!

every time I see a human talking about "how cool it would be to have superpowers" or some shit like that I loose it a little bit more. do these people realize that being a mutant isn't just fun powers. like even beyond the shit I deal with trying to get jobs or all the relationships that have been ruined once people realized I'm a mutant. abilities aren't just fun and games, I have a friend who can't touch people without nearly killing them, I burned down three buildings before someone finally taught me to control my abilities, and these people are all like "wouldn't it be great to fly to work every day??" just admit that you see us as comic book characters and not real people with real struggles

#actually mutant #jay .txt

276 notes

scamperpamperblog reblogged spocktism

🏙️tilleys-brain Follow

self diagnosing is great and all but most of you people aren't telepaths, you're just hyperempathic

#actually mutant #actually telepathic #hyperempathy #crosstagging i know but some of yall need to see this #tilley speaks #it can be dangerous to go around acting like you know peopels actual thoughts when its just your brain

1,657 notes

oh-you-pretty-things

#vent post #sometimes I get really mad at magneto #like I think he's done a lot for mutant rights and stuff #but I'm so fucking tired of everyone assuming that I'm evil just because of my powers #like jesus not all of us are trying to start atomic wars #some metallokinetics just use their abilities to make cool sculptures #but I can't get a spoon from across the room in front of strangers without someone mentioning jfk

3 notes

mutantbuffy reblogged muntantpollscentral

🩻mutantpollscentral

*physical mutation meaning something that is ALWAYS physical, not just something you can turn off and on whenever

#ig my mutation IS technically physical its just not visible to people most of the time so i feel weird claiming that #but like i was born with the tattoo marks #the powers didnt come till later tho #so idk which to pick

668 notes

sploimsh reblogged jesterjuleses

🎹pussy-truck-faggot

HEY! shout-out to people with *weird* mutations. Mutations that don't look cool, mutations that are gross, mutations that are dirty, mutations that you can't tell people about because they always cringe. You're just as valid as every other mutant out there. Your powers don't need to be palettable to humans for you to be treated with respect.

#THIS!!! #rb

5,678 notes

rosetvler

god i am so tired of the hypocrisy in this community. the double standards are insane. its okay to have 'scary' powers but the moment someone's abilities are scarier than like, pyrokinesis you're evil and dangerous to be around. 'acceptance' for you people only means nice mutants who've never hurt or scared anyone ever.

rosetvler reblogged rosetvler

non-mutants can reblog this btw

#srb #actually mutant #getting real tired of this

18 notes

katiedidnt reblogged morelikesexmen

🩻magicsteele27 Follow

okay like. i get that were all about acceptance and pride or w/e but no one in this tag has ever had friends irl i swear. if someone asks you not to read their mind you shouldnt. honestly you shouldnt be using telepathy on people at all without their permission. mutant abilities dont disclude you from respecting peoples boundaries

🌌rosetvler Mutuals

i swear to god you people are such hypocrites. its all 'mutant and proud' until someone has a power you dont like. its always about keeping the humans feeling comfortable instead of thinking about how it feels to never use your powers because theyre breaking 'boundaries' that were made up by humans in the first place

🩻magicsteele27 Follow

dude do you hear yourself right now

🎆jade-the-pyromancer Follow

Hey, I like your point op, but maybe you should stop trying to speak over actual telepaths and let them decide how to use their powers themselves???

🩻magicsteele27 Follow

i. i am a telepath.

#duddeeee telepaths are insane #used to be friends with one SO glad i broke that off before it went too bad

15,678 notes

#x men #cleb talky #marvel comics #mcu #marvel cinematic universe #x men movies #x men comics #i dont know what to tag this #i have more of these in my brain

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yooniesim · 6 months

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Small Simblr Saturday Appreciation Post 💜

Hey y'all! Since @tau1tvec came up with the idea for this event, I thought I'd shout out some of my personal favorite always free creators :)

To start it off though, you know I gotta recommend @alwaysfreecc, the finds blog currently managed by myself, @superflare, @nicatnite88, and @toastie-sim! We only reblog cc creators that are always free (no exclusive or early access) and use the tag #alwaysfreecc to find your posts! If you're an always free cc creator, please use the tag and/or mention the finds blog so we can get your catalog reblogged there 😌 now, onto the list~!

@xiuminuwu - a creator I've really been loving lately! they have a variety of cute cc, including poses and unique, fashionable clothing~

@hexcodesims - a very underrated creator with tons of clothing edits for masc frame sims, I also love their big bud press palette~

@herecirmsims - makes amaaaazing unique poses for a variety of situations

@adelarsims - has awesome ideas that you wouldn't think of, amazing variety of cc like hello

@janjumjam - adorable cc for kids, gives me happy feels and nostalgia

@ceeproductions - some of my fav cc on this site, great variety for both masc and fem frame

@powluna - super cute items for kiddos... a staple in the mods folder

@ssspringroll - occult cc for daysss, cool sliders and presets, they got it all

@nicatnite88 - yes I'm biased, but the variety and hustle cannot be denied, just look at the amount of cc!

@bobnewbie - hairs, facial hairs, accessories, gorgeous sims... what else could you want?

@darlyssims - UNIQUE. really cool ideas for hairs, accessories, and more

@cliffirem - clothes and hairs with an alt twist i really enjoy

@sammi-xox - beautiful skinblends and super useful skin details

@warwickroyals - gorgeous formalwear, especially good for all you royal simblrs!

@marsosims - cute cute cute all over... hairs, clothes, even build/buy cc!! we stan

@whyhellosims - lots of stuff for kids, build buy cc, and a slant of humor!

@creamlattedream - masc cc staple in this house, lots of cute recolors and casual wear

@pluto-sims - the cutest patterns EVER, adorable kids clothing, posters and walls~

@deathpoke1qa - unique is my word for the day bc my lord... it's popping off! alt staples you can't miss

@icchixxxxxx1 - hairs hairs hairs... and more cute hairs! if you like the cutesy anime look but still mm, go here

@mellosakicc - so. many. t-shirts. but also other clothing, tats, and hairs! another alt cc maker with work ethic for days

@whirliko - cute bright recolors... we have no choice but to stan the pop of color

@shandir - conversions, historical, occult, variety... hello??? get going

@mangosimoothie - the ideas are popping... once again things that would never pop into my brain but are brilliant... just go look and see what I mean

@igorstory - facial hair... a totally unrepresented niche of sims cc.. I have all their stuff... download it

@madameriasims4 - CLASSICS. STAPLES. I use their clothes all the time and they also got build/buy stuff.

@aniraklova - alt & punk vibes to the tippy top, fallout, chains, mohawks, whats not to love??

@pixelunivairse - ONE OF MY FAVS. use their cc constantly for my fem frame sims. uses tons of cute patterns that I love

@demondare-sims - cas cc i love, I use it pretty much every time I play, mm and practical

@fiftymilehighclub - talking about work ethic, it's here... so many recolors in bomb palettes that you'll never download them all... or can you??? try

@sforzcc - retired from cc making, but I gotta recommend, bc I use their wardrobe sooo much... brilliant

@casteru/@woosteru - also retired, but same as #16, I use their cc every day!

@xldkx-cc - am I just listing staples of my mods folder now? yes!! I am not biased!! go and get all that cas cc and poses and deco sims NOW!!

@a-luckyday - if you don't know ms a luckyday poses u have not lived in life!! they have a huge amount of them, solo, couple, group, accessories, and more

@gothoffspring - really cute and vibey recolors, I use them a lot, also some build buy items too!!

@jellymoo - we love the clothing... mm aesthetic to the core and cute af

@gladlypants - lotsa adorable items I adore, variety of patterns too

@birksche - tons, I mean TONS of hairs bro, years worth, always free... a treasure trove

@teekalu - supreme maxis match, vanilla vibes that are so lovely... ideal for low cc players

@honeyssims4 - poses, honey!!! the variety will shock you. and they ALL look good

@sewerwolfx - really cool stuff with alt style, some recolors and some from SCRATCH, we love to see it

@historysims4 - historical cc from many different eras!! iconic

@hamsterbellbelle - some of the most unique scifi cc i ever seen... idk how they even make some of that stuff! must see

@surely-sims - beautiful legendary amazing gorgeous never been done before... their fallout inspired cc made me weep and almost solely furnished one of my households, work

...annnndddd I hit my limit!!! I guess thats it for now but maybe a part two... 😉

#ceci speaks #text #smallsimblrsaturday #alwaysfreecc #i tried to put a lot of ppl i havent seen mentioned as much #but theres still so many to love #can u tell my mental state deteriorating as the post went on #it is currently 6 am i am going to bed #hopefully this is coherent when it posts from the queue LOL #alwaysfreecc creator boost

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grievedeeply · 5 months

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Hiiii! Do you take bg3 reqs? Cause I saw some and the tag in your latest post but no mention on the blog info!

If not feel free to ignore!

Could you please do Halsin, Gale and Astarion angsty hcs of them arguing with their s/o (like maybe she feels belitttled or ignored and yk classical “say something they don’t mean etc arguement”)? (With or without the aftermath and eventual yk comfort. However you’d like! Sorry if this is precise!

Thanks in any case! Have a lovely day!

i just added bg3 into my blog info bc of this LOL my bad. but yes i do take requests and i'm very happy to do this one for you! decided to expand on your original idea and make it arguing as a whole but your request is still included in the headcanons! thanks for sending it in and enjoy!

gn!reader/tav | tws: angst....

arguing headcanons with halsin, gale and astarion

halsin

halsin is not the arguing type of man. he hates arguing and he never ever wants to do it

still, he knows arguing happens. relationships always include some type of fight even if he never wants to deal with it

arguments with him almost always happen because of a misunderstanding on someones part. it's never because he wants to try to hurt you or vice versa, but because someone heard something the wrong way and it spiraled

but of course you don't realize that immediately and start arguing over whatever it was that was said

halsin is the type of person to distance himself for a little while to collect his thoughts

he never wants to say something he doesn't mean in an argument, but it has happened before.. and it took at least a week for the two of you to make up because you were obviously hurt by it

but he doesn't want it to happen again, so he'll take a little time for himself and come back to you with a cooler head

he doesn't think of himself as someone who gets mad easily, and he really isn't, but he'd rather be safe than sorry

normal arguments don't last for very long as you find you can't really stay mad at each other.. but he is usually the one to apologize first even if you started it

he hates it when you're mad at him. it's literally the worst feeling in the world to him and it's like a huge pit in his stomach

he will feel so bad if you ever tell him you feel ignored in an argument

he apologizes a lot and has to reassure you that you're the only person in his life that he loves in this way

he promises to be better at showing it. he takes an entirely different angle on everything he does from then on

always wants to make you feel loved and appreciated <3

gale

similarly to halsin, i think gale is someone to avoid arguments at all costs

he'll agree with a lot of things you say just to avoid arguments over stupid things that don't matter. you like this color for new curtains but he doesn't? he won't say a word. doesn't want to fight over something so small

even if you won't argue about it... he hasn't exactly had the best relationship track record, so he prefers to keep quiet on things like that anyways

when you do fight with him, it's usually because he said something he didn't mean and he immediately regrets it

but unlike halsin, he probably wouldn't walk away and take a few hours for himself and will instead apologize profusely without anything else

he hates fighting. he hates it and he wants it over with

he hates how it makes him feel when he knows you're upset with him and he wants that feeling to go away as soon as possible, so expect him to say he's sorry a million times

he hardly ever yells but he will when he gets mad enough. he immediately regrets it though

again... apologizes over and over

his apologies are all very genuine but he won't blame you if you don't forgive him right away

but you will have to tell him to leave you alone for a while

making up is always nice though. he'll make you dinner for a week afterwards (as if he doesn't do it anyways)

if you ever bring up feeling ignored or belittled in an argument he will go completely silent and apologize after you're done talking

he explains it was never his intent, but he realizes that he could've done better for you, and his apologies are all he can offer until he can prove his worth to you

overall very sweet and understanding about the entire thing too

astarion

i can see astarion hating arguing.. but that doesn't stop him from doing it, either

you hardly ever fight over anything serious but unlike gale he will complain if you pick something out that he doesn't like. he wants something he likes too. if he has to look at it, he wants it to suit his tastes

he's probably a sulker and doesn't apologize first unless he actually really feels bad about something

he likes seeing you say you're sorry. it makes him feel good to know you care enough about him to apologize for fighting over something that never really meant that much to anyone else

he wants some control over things. that's really all he wants

sometimes he will say things he doesn't mean, but he won't apologize immediately

the fight will get worse before it gets better

he isn't really the type of person to yell, but he does sometimes and he hates doing it but sometimes it feels like no one hears him unless he does

if you start a fight because you feel ignored or not good enough or something like that, it's a whole different story

he won't even really argue. he'll sit there and listen to everything you have to say even if you scream at him

definitely will hug you and reassure you that he loves you. he says he's sorry for ever making you feel that way, too

he hates fighting. but he will argue if he feels it's necessary... or when he's overwhelmed

sometimes things come out that he doesn't mean

#baldurs gate 3 #bg3 #baldur’s gate 3 #baldur's gate 3 x reader #bg3 x reader #halsin bg3 x reader #gale bg3 x reader #astarion bg3 x reader #bg3 halsin x reader #bg3 gale x reader #bg3 astarion x reader

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james-is-here · 2 months

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Felix is looking extra precious and this is what I'm doing with my cuteness aggression. His hair looks so pretty, he looks so pretty and adorable and it's just killing me.

Blogs: @belladonna6-6-6 who gave me the idea. @heartbinn

Tags: Nn means nickname, Mn calls Felix Pixie, Mentions of Chan and a dash of Seungmin, The shortest amount of sad/comfort, not hurt/comfort though, angst? Maybe if you squint idk. Clingy, Lovey Felix, Vaguely shown that Mn is taller, My love for Felix kinda got in the way so Felix may give off Tiny Precious Bean vibes. The fluffiest of fluff.

You nervously sat in the corner of the lobby. Even though he said you guys could've met up at a cafe, you were worried about fans seeing him. That's the only idol thing you've worried about, other than that he's still your Felix.

You were nervous because you felt really out of place in the JYPE lobby, not because you were nervous to see Felix. He's made sure to send you photos as he grew up away from you and with all the photos, the boy next door got cuter and cuter. He still had your favorite freckles and adorable face.

The recent photo solidified, as if it wasn't solidified already, how much you've grown to love the boy. You don't know when it happened but eventually you realized when he sent you a photo of the first time he dyed his hair. It was a photo of him laughing at something, he just looked so precious and happy and the moment you thought his freckles were cute, you honestly had a little bit of a crisis but that night when he called you to show his hair, looking so excited and happy, you realized the crisis was for nothing and you really did love Felix more than you thought.

A tap on your shoulder snapped you out of your thoughts and nail biting as you looked up. He wore a black beanie, a few hair strands framing his face, and a black mask you could tell he was smiling under. Your whole body relaxed as you stand up and pull the shorter male into your arms, his arms wrapped around your middle as yours around his shoulders. You were still taller than him, you've always loved how fun sized he was.

"Hi Mn!" "Hi Pixie." He giggles softly, nuzzling further into your chest before pulling back, arms still around you while he bounces and the balls of his feet. "I can't believe you're here!! You're actually here! Sorry, Can you tell I'm happy?" He smiles and you laugh. "Yes, I can. I'm glad to see you again, Felix." "Me too. Come on, I really want you to meet the boys." He grabbed your hand but you didn't budge. "Mn?" "I'm already nervous from being in this building alone, I don't know about meeting your group."

"Mn, I know you and you match all of them so perfectly it's crazy. Plus~ You know Chan-Hyung is also from Australia. He loves you." "How?" His face turns red as he laughs softly. "I-I may or may not tell him everything about you...You're my best friend, I wanted my other friends to know about you too." "That's sweet...Okay, let's go." He squeals happily and you follow behind him. "Oh, forgot to mention, Chan is actually in the car too." "Felix!" "I'm sorry!" He laughs and you can't help but smile at him.

Even though he said he wanted you to meet the others, he dragged you to his room once you got to his dorm. Chan was surprisingly really easy to converse with the whole car ride, might've been his natural friendly aura but his was so nice and the conversation flowed smoothly.

"What- Felix!" Chan yelled after the boy who just pulled you away. "Pixie, I thought you wanted me to meet the others?" You chuckle. "You will. I get my best friend first." He reasoned and you laugh as he pulls you into his room. He hugs you again, so tight as if he'll think you'll disappear from him. "Hey, you okay? Thought you were really excited to introduce me?" "I am. Just need a moment." "Oh okay."

Only a few seconds later, he started shaking and his hold on you got tighter. "Lix?" "I s-still can't believe I'm hugging you...th-that you're here..." He whispers before shifting, you barley see his face as his arms go around your neck and he's tightening his grip, you take the signal and tighten your own arms around his waist to pick him up and let his legs wrap around you. "Lixie?" "I-I wish we could be together forever." You knew he didn't mean it in the way you'd mean it but you smile nonetheless. "C-Can you...I wish y-you could stay h-here, now that y-you're here I don't w-want you to leave." "Aw, Pixie...I'm sorry."

He sniffs, pulling back to look at you. You were gonna put him down but could feel his legs were gonna collapse if you did when you moved your hands to hold him better. "Felix..." He was crying, moving one of his hands to wipe away the tears before he moved his legs and you sat him down. "I'm sorry." "It's okay, come here."

You move to his bed, sitting down and moving your legs enough for him to sit on the floor in front of you. He does as told and sits in front of you. You take off his beanie, putting it to the side before combing your fingers through his hair and scratching his scalp. He hums contentedly and leans against your knee, you smile down at him before speaking. "Can I wash your hair like when we were kids?" "Only if I can with you." "Of course. I can also braid your hair after too."

You guys move to the bathroom, Felix holding your hand as you follow and a few of the boys watch after. "Are they friends?" Chan slaps Seungmin's arm with a scolding look on his face. "They are..." "but?" "but when we talked in the car and he was telling a story about Felix...I think Mn sees him as more."

You're sat on the toilet and Felix is laying on your lap, head over the tub and running under the faucet. He's talking about any little thing that comes to his mind as he points at his products. You caught yourself when you had slowed down massaging the product through his blonde strands and just listened to him talk cause the temptation to lean down and kiss his forehead was almost too much.

When it was your turn, you laid across the toilet while Felix kneeled next to you, using his products on you. He told you to tell him what you've been doing but you just stared at him without realizing. You did speak but it was slow and you paused a lot, just watching him. You noticed that there was a dust of blush of his freckles but you took that as just being in a warm room.

You dried eachothers hair and you sat on the edge of the tub and began french braiding his hair, he almost fell asleep before you finished and switch spots with him. The braid was kinda sloppy and he didn't really like it so he took it out and put your hair in his usual updo.

You guys walked out, no one was in the living room anymore and he pulled you to the couch, putting on a movie you thought was random until you heard the familiar sound of the movie you and Felix would watch nonstop as kids.

He sat you on the couch before running off then coming back with a blanket and a couple snacks. "You really had tonight planned." "Well, kind of. The cafe plan I had fell through from other reason but I thought just bringing you here was a better idea."

He sat close to you, crossing his legs as the movie began and you lean back, feeling really happy being with Felix again as you let Felix cover you up with the blanket he brought in.

Half way through the movie, Felix leans on your shoulder and takes your hand into his, playing with your fingers while his attention was still on the movie. You took the opportunity and held his hand in yours and laid down, pulling him with you to lay with you. "I might cry if we get cozy cause you can only stay for one day and we can't stay this way." He says as he leans above you. "Then I'll hold you the whole time, trust me I've been trying not to cry since you first hugged me when we got here."

He smiles, laying on your chest as you wrap your arms around his waist and shoulders, hugging him tightly in return to him snuggling further into you, his hand resting on your heart and you hope he can't feel how fast it's beating.

You subconsciously rub his back, the movie taking your attention back and it's not until the happy ending that you notice Felix is asleep, not hearing his usual comment of how adorable he always thought the end of the movie was. The end credit song plays as your eyes take in his features.

You move your hand from his back and up to his face, moving a loose strand of hair to the side before your finger traces over his freckles, a barely there touch so you don't wake him up as you move again and you get so lost in your thoughts about Felix you don't realize your thumb lightly brushing over his bottom lip. "Shit, I love you so much, Pixie..." Your eyes stung as you pull him closer and rest your forehead on his. "I love you more than I realized. You're so adorable and pretty...I'd confess to you if I didn't have to leave tomorrow..." You press your lips lightly to his forehead.

"You're so cute, Pixie..." You wrap your arms around his tightly again, lips pressed to the top of his head as you hold back your tears before you're pulling back as Felix moves. He sits up, you take notice of his glassy eyes when he opens his eyes and a soft coo escapes your lips. "Lixie..." "Please don't leave..." "I wouldn't have anywhere to stay. Plus, I have a job." "It's a fast food place, Mn-ie...And you can stay here." "I couldn't do that to you and your group. I'd get in the way." He shakes his head defiantly. "You wouldn't. I s-swear, you'd be fine h-here." "Even if I stayed here in your room, What would I do? I don't know Korean or anything." "You can help Chan...He knows about your music skills." "That's...too much, Felix. I can't."

Felix suddenly leans down, pressing his lips to yours in a soft kiss as a noise of shock leaves you before you kiss back. He pushes forward, the soft kiss turning firm, your left hand moves up to cradle his face as he tilts his head and slides his tongue on your bottom lip but before you could let him, he pulled back and laid back on top of you, crying into your shoulder. "I-I'm s-sorry. I-I heard you...I love you, too, Nn. I-I didn't want to c-confess e-either. Th-That's why I want you to stay...a-at least stay for me? Y-You w-won't be in th-the way, I promise, just...please..."

Your tears finally fall as a soft sob slips past your lips and Felix sits back up, kissing your lips before holding your face in his small hands that shake slightly as he wipes your tears. "I-I can stay, Pixie...I will, okay? You swear I won't be in the way?" "I swear to JYP." You can't help but laugh and lean into his hand. "That's big." "I have you after years of being apart, I don't even think I would let you go if you did leave."

"I would have to go back at some point. I only have a bag with a days worth of clothing." "As long as I go with. I really don't want to leave you." "Good, you have to explain to my parents why I'm moving." He laughs, kissing you again and sliding his tongue past your lips to tangle with yours for a moment and a small whimper slips out of him before he pulls back, resting his forehead on yours. "Sorry..." He giggles shyly and all you do is laugh and wrap your arms around him, kissing his cheek before placing your hands on his thighs and sitting up, keeping him on your lap as you turn the tv off then standing up to take him to his room.

You lay him in his bed before falling on top of him. He laughs when you nuzzle into his neck and kiss his jaw, rolling over to move so he nuzzles into your neck instead, your arms squeezing him tightly as his wrap around your middle and he falls back asleep in your arms a little while later. You smile, kissing his forehead before you fell asleep as well.

The next day, Chan realizes he hadn't seen you all morning. It was noon and he hadn't seen Felix either. When he checked Felix's room, he saw you asleep and Felix laying on your chest, looking up at you with adoration as he gently traced your cheek then your bottom lip before lightly kissing your jaw.

Chan smiles, the thought of you having missed your flight gone from his mind as he pieces together that Felix must've told him he could stay. Knowing you, Chan does hope you two could have fun together cause he's aware of your music talents.

For now, he winks at Felix who finally notices him in the doorway before he leaves. Felix smiles into your chest and you subconsciously pull him even closer.

Felix didn't think it was possible, but he's even happier in this moment, in your arms, than he was when he debuted.

#random #stray kids #straykids #stray kids x male reader #lee felix skz #lee felix x male reader #male reader #k pop x male reader

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acewritesfics · 6 months

Text

I Almost Lost You | JAY HALSTEAD

⚠️ THIS IS A REPOST FROM MY MAIN BLOG @/DLMLUFICS. UNFORTUNATELY, I HAVE TO DO IT THIS WAY. MORE INFO IN MY PINNED POST.

Pairing: Jay Halstead x Wife!Reader

Request: From Anon

Fic Type: Imagine

Prompt: "You think you can just push me away like that?”

Warnings: Mentions of being shot, surgery, crime.

Word Count: 849

JAY HALSTEAD MASTERLIST || TAG LIST SIGN-UP

©️ no one has permission to copy, translate and/or repost my works on here or anywhere else.

Jay sat next to the hospital bed where Y/N is currently resting. His arms are laying on the bed, one of them clutching hers. She'd fallen asleep a little more than an hour before, both of them gripping each other's hands, fearful that if they let go, the other would disappear like she almost had.

Intelligence has been looking for a duo who were robbing businesses and killing anyone who got in their way. They claimed to be the next Bonnie and Clyde and went out in the same manner as the originals. Y/N was shot three times during the shootout a little less than 24 hours ago.

Despite his best efforts, Jay is unable to shake the visual of her lying there, her breathing and pulse growing weaker as he works, in complete fear of losing her, to stop her from bleeding out.

Y/N and Jay have been married for just over three months, and he has already nearly lost her. He bites his lower lip, fighting the negative thoughts that remind him he could still lose her, especially given their line of work.

“What’s going on inside that handsome head of yours?” Y/N’s raspy sleep filled voice, brings him out of his thoughts.

“How much I love you,” he tells her, thinking that now is not the time to hash out what he’s really thinking about. Though, he is always thinking about how much he loves her.

"Don't do that," she says gazing at him, drowsily. "You think you can just push me away like that?”

"I'm not trying to push you away, babe," he says giving her a soft smile. "I can't now that you're wearing my ring."

"You know what I mean," she sighs. "I'm so doped on pain meds, it didn't come out right."

"I know what you meant," he assures her, gently squeezing her hand.

"Don't go quiet on me, Jay."

"I almost lost you," he starts telling her what he's thinking and feeling. "We've been married for three months. We’re just starting our lives together and I could have lost you. I almost lost you."

“It’s part of the job,” she whispers, weakly squeezing his hand.

“Don’t… don’t say that,” he tells her, frowning. He knew she was being nonchalant about it right now because of the drugs but it didn’t help how he was feeling or the thoughts clouding his head. “Not right now.”

“I’m sorry,” her lips pout as she lets out a quiet sob, tears building up on her eyes.

“Hey, it’s not your fault,” Jay tries to reassure her as he moves closer to the bed and brings her hand to his face, gently kissing her fingers where her rings usually sat. They had been taken off during her surgery so they wouldn’t end up damaged or lost. “You did nothing wrong. It’s their fault and mine for not being there to protect you.”

“You can’t be in two places at once,” she cries holding no resentment towards him like he seems to think he deserves.

“No but I’m your husband as well as your partner. It’s not only my job to have your back, it’s also my vow to you,” he stands up, leaning over her to wipe away the tears and kiss her gently. “You know, us being married, living together and all that, means you won’t be able to cheat recovery and come back to work earlier than the doctors order right.”

She can’t help the chuckle that escapes her lips, through the tears and sobs. “Yeah, but I have a brother-in-law who’s a doctor.”

“And I’m going to tell him if he tries to do you any favors so you can get back to work sooner, I’ll find something to arrest him on.”

“Yeah, you would do that.”

“You’re damn right I would,” he says and tells her, “Voight’s given me some time off so I can take care of you.”

“It’ll be a mini vacation,” she says giving him a weak smile.

“For you it might be,” he kisses her again before reaching into his pocket and pulling out her engagement and wedding bands. He slips them back on to her finger and brings her hand back up to his lips and kisses the same spot as before. “I love you.”

“I love you too,” she says letting go of his hand and carefully shifts over in the bed and pats the now empty spot next to her. “I don’t care what the doctors have to say, I need my husband with me tonight.” She adds before he can protest.

Kicking off his shoes, he climbs onto the bed next to her, making sure to not hurt her even more. Careful of her injuries, she finds a comfortable position for them to lay in and places the blankets over him.

It doesn’t take long for Y/N to drift back to sleep unlike Jay who remains awake until he can no longer keep his eyes open, afraid that if he does fall asleep, that he’ll open his eyes when he awakens and she’ll be gone.

TAGGED: LINK TO TAG LIST SIGN-UP ABOVE.

#acewritesfics repost #jay halstead x reader

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lindwurmkai · 7 months

Text

hey, have you heard that pillowfort has ✨ drafts ✨ now? (as in, the ability to save your posts as drafts.) they're still working on the queue feature (update: it's done!), but drafts are a big step forward!

in case you missed it so far, pillowfort is like a cross between tumblr and dreamwidth/livejournal, with a simplified dashboard reminiscent of old school tumblr and some classic livejournal features such as communities, threaded comments, and the ability to make individual posts followers-only or mutuals-only.

what are communities? basically, central hubs for posts about any subject you want that, unlike hashtags, can be moderated. they may have rules, such as "[subject matter] must be tagged" for example. you can post directly to a community or reblog existing posts to it!

since the site is currently experiencing some financial trouble, i thought i'd help out by spreading the word once again.

edit: the fundraiser was a success! crisis averted! i knew we could do it :D

why you should give pillowfort a chance:

no ads

no venture capitalist funding

no spying on the users

completely free to use except for optional premium features

nsfw is allowed except for sexual depictions of minors. if you're unsure what exactly that means, their tos may help

communities and the privacy controls mentioned above are excellent features

great community, low drama compared to other websites (so far)

the site's features themselves encourage genuine connection and good-faith conversation over endless "discourse"

every blog can automatically be filtered by original posts only or reblogs only

reasons not to join:

if you enjoy algorithmic social media. there is no algorithm at all

if you want to post or look at machine-generated art. they're still finalising the wording and personally i hope some exception will be made for models trained on ethically sourced images, but basically an anti-AI rule is in the works (update: finished!)

if you cannot live without reblog additions (reblogging with comment). all discussions on a pillowfort post take place in the comments section, and only your own followers see your tags. this has its pros and cons for sure! a similar feature to scratch that itch may be implemented in the future, but it will never be exactly like on tumblr.

if you need everything to be an app. the website works fine in a mobile browser and a progressive web app will hopefully be released soon (basically it's like an app in your browser and on mobile these can be added to the homescreen like real apps i think? they have push notifications!), but there's not going to be a native app available through official app stores due to the restrictions of those stores.

other factors to consider:

yes, the userbase is still small. depending on your interests, activity may be very slow. but we can change that! and on the plus side, reblogging your post to a community is a good way to easily get more eyes on it; way more effective than simply adding tags imo

the site culture is a bit different than on tumblr. many people read everything that's been posted since the last time they were online and don't follow more users/communities than they can keep up with. it's still somewhat lacking in shitposts and heavy on "essays" but don't be afraid to post whatever 😅

there are no blog themes like we have them on tumblr as yet, but you can customise your blog's colours and use html/insert links and images in your blog description

likes literally do nothing except to let OP know you enjoyed their post. you can't look at a list of all your likes. beware!

the staff is small and development is slow. some highly anticipated planned features other than the aforementioned queue include: - multi-account management - dashboard filters/reading lists - post bookmarking (since likes don't work that way) but we don't know how soon any of those will be implemented.

there is a user-developed browser extension (well, a userscript) called tassel available that adds additional features much like tumblr's beloved xkit :)

✨ okay, so how do i sign up? ✨

if you're interested but confused by the sign-up process or still under the impression that you need to pay to sign up (false), i'll put some clarifications and invite codes under the read more below. plus a note on donating, premium features, the paypal issue etc.

in a nutshell:

it's free

signing up without an invite code is possible, but you may have to wait a short while - supposedly less than an hour atm. just submit your email to the waitlist

if you don't feel like waiting, you can either use an invite code from an existing user or pay $5 to sign up instantly

every user gets plenty of invite codes and we're all willing to hand them out at the drop of a hat. they're really not hard to come by

some invites to get you started (just click the link):

invite 1 ▪ invite 2 ▪ invite 3 ▪ invite 4 ▪ invite 5

invite 6 ▪ invite 7 ▪ invite 8 ▪ invite 9 ▪ invite 10

invite 11 ▪ invite 12 ▪ invite 13 ▪ invite 14 ▪ invite 15

invite 16 ▪ invite 17 ▪ invite 18 ▪ invite 19 ▪ invite 20

i'll try to periodically check if any have been used and cross those out.

...paypal issue?

ok so paypal doesn't like working with sites that allow nsfw. as a result, you need a credit card in order to donate to pillowfort, buy one of those insta-registration keys, or subscribe to premium features*. i personally happen to have a credit card and would be willing to help out anyone who trusts me enough to send the money to me via paypal, but i realise chances are only my friends will do this.

some users are currently organising various activities for the purpose of letting people who only have paypal contribute to the site's survival. it's not super relevant for new users and won't get you access to premium features, but i thought i'd mention it anyway in case someone loves the concept of the site so much they want to support it immediately. a fundraising community has been created to collect posts of that nature!

*premium features are strictly limited to two categories of things:

fun little extras that no one truly needs

higher image upload limits, because obviously big images take up bandwidth and are therefore a reason for increased costs

you will never need to pay for vital accessibility features or anything of the sort. :)

#join us join us join us #my art got so many more notes over there #pillowfort #pillowfort social #social media #tumblr alternatives #;

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canonkiller · 2 months

Note

Hi, I'm trying to do art commissions, but no one has commissioned me yet. Do you have any advice for attracting customers?

I wrote a lot of words for you in hopes that at least some of it will be helpful, so I'm putting the bulk of this answer below a read more to save people the scrolling. The quick and easy two tips that I find people forget to do the most are:

Is your art easy to find? Having a pinned post with a tag for your art, a link in your bio, or an art-focused / reblog-light blog (like this one!) make it so that people know you draw, and knowing you've been posting art for a while makes you less likely to be a scammer.

Is your commission info easy to find? People can't buy things that they don't know you're selling; clear and accessible links to your prices and terms are important.

Now for the real bulky meat of advice giving, where I say a lot of words that may or may not be relevant:

I have a lot of advice, but I do want to say before getting into it:

A lot of selling art (especially in a non-industry setting, like with social media commissions) is luck.

There is no one size fits all method for selling art, and it's best to go with what feels right to you (I'll go more into this later)

Tips for selling are not necessarily tips for creating, and there will be advice in here that I don't apply to myself. Determining what you do and do not implement is something you should decide for yourself and your work flow.

Your art not selling doesn't mean nobody cares about it.

Personally I think the idea of intentionally curating a single subject demographic of Customer and Consumer for your work is limiting and doomed to burnout in a non-industry space. I will also touch more on this later.

Now for the rest of it in varying orders:

✨ Attracting Customers

This one is going first because you mentioned it specifically. It is kind of vague though, by nature of the term, so what I advise doing is specifying.

When you are thinking of a customer, are you trying to appeal to:

People who will buy pre-made art products? (Pins, stickers, prints, etc)

People who will buy custom work? (Commissions for specific subject matter)

People who will buy art resources you've created? (Fonts, bases, texture packs, 3d models etc)

There's also frequency: a repeat customer of custom art will usually be appealed to more by a wide range of options (like illustrations), while you might get more single-purchase customers if you only offer a limited range of options (like only icons).

Demographics also, of course, play a substantial role in just custom art commissions; furries get lauded as high spenders, but they're also a huge community that is focused around OCs, so by statistics alone they will have more people with spending money and will be frequent customers of people drawing OCs. A narrower audience means fewer people, but often the spread of the people within that audience is the same - and at the end of the day, selling an art piece only requires one other person, it's just a matter of happening to find them.

The follow up question is of course the finding: the average artist in fandom spaces selling commissions does not have the platform or budget for an ad campaign. This, however, is also its own category:

✨ Posting Online

Right out the gate: anyone who has told you that just drawing x thing is the way to get easy money is wrong.

"If you draw more fan art, you'll -" wrong.

"Nobody cares about that, you should be drawing this instead -" wrong.

"if you need to sell fast, just sell porn -" wrong. And also re-evaluate your perceived lack of quality or value about the subject.

The things you will be able to create easily and consistently will be the things YOU, SPECIFICALLY, like to create. It is also entirely impossible that you are the only person on earth to have ever liked those things, which means that if you create them, there are people out there who will enjoy them.

It feels itchy to be like "and those people are Potential Customers", but it is true; your work will resonate with people. They will want you to create it. It is vitally important to your own well being that the things you create, that you want others to enjoy, are things you enjoy as well.

(This is also why the "just draw porn" joking advice that gets tossed around is particularly fucked up. You as the artist should not feel forced into drawing things you aren't comfortable with, and the vast majority of customers for explicit content also don't want the people making it to feel forced into doing so. It's basic consent. I have strong feelings about this.)

If you are creating things and putting them out into the world, they will find an audience. That audience may be one singular person! The number does not matter, because that's still a person who - again, sucks to frame ig this way - has the potential to buy things from you.

If you're constantly chasing a bigger follower count, more interactions, etc etc for the future, it can genuinely be pretty taxing on the people who want to support you in the present. When you enjoy someone's work, and want to support them, being told constantly that that support is not good enough is frustrating. Trying to follow your work should not lead to seeing more "likes are WORTHLESS and NOBODY reblogs my things" posts than it does art. You are a person making things to share with other people, and you have to remember it or you will burn yourself out into a desiccated husk.

TL:DR consistency is key and the easiest way to be consistent is to just draw whatever the fuck you live drawing in whatever ways you want to draw it, and then slap it on the internet somewhere and Keep Doing That

✨ The Actual Commission Information

this one is just factual really. A lot of artists have really shitty commission sheet layouts, because advertising graphic design and illustrative art are different skill sets. That's fine. You don't have to remake the wheel. A good commission sheet should include:

More images than text (if you can't see what the examples are when zoomed out, you have to rearrange or cut down on words)

Examples organized by price / type, and clearly labeled

Your personal favourites for examples - one really strong example piece is better than twenty tiny images of work you think is just "okay"

Contact information - having a method that works WITHOUT a social media account (email.) Is important and way easier to keep organized, imo

A SIMPLE list of strengths (the things you draw the best) and things you won't draw (common example: mechs). You do not need to list every fandom or subject matter. Limit yourself to a top five.

A clear and easy to type link for your terms of service. Carrd, and sites like it, is good for this. This will go into details about your process, what you will and won't do, permissions granted to the commissioner (like "no, you can't make an NFT with this"), your privacy policy (saying you won't sell commissioner details to third parties), and other stuff. You do not want to have all of this on your original post, because it should be thorough and you want your main post to be showcasing your work and not your legalese. Here's mine as a reference; if you have trouble writing your own, feel free to copy from it and make the necessary alterations for your work.

✨ There Was More I Was Going To Write But I Forgot

I have a different document of commission related talk here, which is also incomplete but in a different way. It's in my nature. Hopefully some combination of this and that can be useful to you. Sorry if they're not. I love you have a nice day

#not art #ask #ne0nwisp #i feel like this is a profoundly unhelpful word count but I Tried.

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sleepyconfusedpotato · 2 months

Note

Hiiii me again

Related to the post about the ownership of characters and the tags you put-

I just wanted to mention that you’ve given me a lot of confidence. I used to be the type of person who believed “if your oc even breathes in the direction of a canon character, it’s cringe and Mary Sue and you’ll be ripped to shreds for it.” I’d have to tread so lightly with characters I enjoyed and love them from afar because I felt if I made even a joke post someone would bring it up.

I’ve only just gotten into the cod fandom, found your blog a couple months ago, and it’s given me a lot of like. Idk!! Just “fuck it, do what you want” kinda vibes in the best way? It’s really hard to word this lmao. But since finding your blog I’ve made a 141 character, a shadow, literally shipping an oc with ghost now, and I’m having fun that I wouldn’t have if I didn’t find your blog

So thank you <3

Hello! (｡･∀･)ﾉﾞ

Well, It's been an apparent issue in this fandom. idk why, but when I visit other fandoms, the sense of ownership and possessiveness to the characters is not that high, like what's up with these people I don't know. Like, the characters in media, especially in games, don't belong to anyone except the studios that made them 😭

We as fandom members can create original characters, alternative universes, and stuff for them. I can't imagine a piece of media without fanarts, fics, and OC's really. Heck, that's what keeps the fandom alive. If there's one thing we can learn from history of media, is that you can't hold back people's creativity. OF COURSE, there are cringe ones and unhinged ones, but it's fandom, of course, it's filled with different types of people from normal to bizarre ones.

Here's the thing, just because one person has already shipped their OC with one character, that doesn't mean that character is LOST forever to that one particular OC like it's a damn popularity competition 😭.

I've also seen some people saying that they're so emotionally attached to this one character, that if they see him with someone else's OC. they get super emotional and super angry?? Okay that's just-- WOW.

If you feel uncomfortable seeing your favorite character being shipped with someone else, then that just means that you're NOT ready and not mature enough to be an OC creator and be in a fandom space. Full stop.

and if I may speak from experience, I've lost a few friendships due to being... quite popular OC shipper with Ghost 🥲 I personally don't feel anything when I see other's OC's with Ghost, or any character I like with other OC's -- I EVEN DRAW OTHER OC'S WITH GHOST FOR COMMISSIONS 😭

But yeah, before I yap too much, thank you so much for the good words in the last paragraph! It's very very lovely, and I'm glad you have your own OC to have fun with! Happy creating and happy drawing💖!

#thank you so much!#sleepy's thoughts #been wanting to let this out pretty badly now #cuz my goodness lol the amount of immature asks on my inbox are concerning guyssss #call of duty #call of duty modern warfare #call of duty fandom #tagging the fandom cuz it's a pretty big issue

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jasntodds · 3 months

Text

Petrichor [17]

Pairing: Jason Todd x Fem!Powered!Reader (little bit of fwb)

Words: 12,212

Chapter Warnings: Swearing, angst, little bit of hurt/comfort, blood, gunshot, canon violence, mention of Jason pushing a serial rapist from a building

Summary: ❝Pylades: I’ll take care of you. Orestes: It’s rotten work. Pylades: Not to me. Not if it’s you.❞

Gotham is home, not just for Jason but for you, too. And now that you’re both finally back home, together, you’re ready to see where this next chapter brings the two of you. He’s your best friend and you’re his. And you both might want a little something more with being back home, the place you both feel most comfortable. Surely, nothing could possibly go wrong now.

A/N: I can't believe we're almost done with season 3 and then we can move onto season 4 (I have a plan) lol You can add yourself to the tag list below, ask me to be tagged, or you can follow my library blog @jasntoddslibrary and turn on notifications if you prefer that!! I love feedback, I swear it keeps me posting on a weekly basis 😭

series masterlist | masterlist | tag list

You're still sitting on Jason's bed, eating a few of the granola bars he gave you and drinking water to gather the energy to make your way back to the manor. And for just this hour, it's peaceful. You're scrolling on your phone as it charges, just scrolling through Instagram and catching up on some things you've missed while also quickly scrolling away from whatever chaos about Gotham someone is posting. It's peaceful for once even when you know it won't be soon. It is nice. For right now.

But, then your phone starts vibrating before your scrolling is interrupted with a video taking up your entire screen. The screen is black for a few seconds before the Batman symbol appears on your screen as Crane's voice starts talking.

"Gotham City used to have a protector, a guardian angel." Crane's voice says as it switches to a red Titans symbol.

That's not good.

"But Batman abandoned Gotham and left Nightwing and his friends in his place." A screen showing every Titan, including Sam, shows up on the screen with "Titans wanted" at the bottom of the screen. Then it switches to a clip of Nightwing fighting. "And what has Nightwing done?" Crane asks as texts calling Nightwing a thief, liar, and a conman flash across the clip. "He's robbing you. Poisoning the very water you drink," The clip changes to one of Gar as a tiger, attacking someone. "The water you give your children. Nightwing is a criminal." The clip changes to one of Nightwing and Starfire blowing up one of the drum barrels that poisoned the water. "Protected by Gotham City Police. Only you can stop him. There will be a $50,000 reward paid to the person who brings him in. Dead or alive." The clip changes again to a clip of Gar changing into a tiger. "But take heart Gotham, a new hero will rise and you will know his name." The clip changes to Jason's Red Hood symbol with a picture of the helmet on top. "Red Hood."

"Oh fuck." You groan.

None of you can really catch a break for longer than five minutes. And you find yourself even more irritated that Crane had the audacity to think Jason would just go back to him after almost killing you. Crane really thinks you don't mean anything to each other and you swear that's his downfall, underestimating what you mean to each other. Because Crane doesn't know Jason isn't going to be on his side anymore. Though this video seems like it's going to complicate things.

It's been bad enough with Jason wanting Dick dead the last few weeks but now the entire city of Gotham is going to want him dead. Gothamites already aren't thrilled with the Titans and this going to push them over the edge. They're already upset Batman abandoned them after Robin was killed. It seems like the city didn't mean too much to Batman if he fucks off the second Robin is killed. Gotham has been absconded and Crane is going to use their distrust and distaste over the situation against the Titans.

You let out an annoyed huff before ripping your phone from the charger and grabbing another granola bar for the road. You have to get back to the manor before every citizen in Gotham decides to become a bounty hunter. You don't have your suit but you're thinking it might be safer to get the hell out of the city sooner rather than later.

When you get to the manor, it's empty. The manor has always had a way of seeming just a little too quiet. It's a big space with only a handful of people living in the halls at any given time. It didn't bother you much before, because Jason's voice tended to bounce off the walls, etch itself into the plaster. And with so many Titans around, it filled a bit of the silent void but today, as you walk in, it's quiet. The hairs on the back of your neck start to stand on end because, from your experience, quiet in a place that's not usually quiet, is bad. You grab a knife from your belt as you make your way, quietly into the Batcave.

With every step, you try to figure out why you're being so paranoid about this. It's the Batcave. No one outside of the Titans or Bruce would even be down here and the Titans are likely out trying to sort out the mess Crane just created for them. But, something in you grips your knife tighter as if it's some sort of sick reflex to always dread for the worst. Maybe that's growing to be a bit exhausting, too.

Your worry washes away as you enter the main area of the cave and see Dick standing in front of the Batcomputer with his arms crossed, his eyes glued to the monitor. You pocket your knife as you continue to walk closer to him, gaining his attention. A sense of relief pools at the bit of Dick's stomach to see you're alive and walking. It wasn't just Gar that was worried about what happened to you.

"Where the hell were you?" Dick questions, not skipping a beat.

"Walking." You shake your head, looking at the screens to see the other Titans fighting what seems to be civilians. "Given the broadcast Crane put out, do you really think it's such a good idea to have them fighting civilians?" You look up at Dick, a look of worry and sorrow washing over your tired features.

Dick gives you a harsh glare that softens the second his eyes meet yours. He shakes his head before looking back at the Batcomputer. You watch Kory fight someone and watch their body twist into positions it should not. The man gets up, foaming viciously from the mouth like a bad case of rabies.

"Kory." Dick warns.

"What the fuck did I miss?" You question as you scrunch your nose in disgust.

It has to be the water because the more you watch, it's as if this person is bending like a zombie from a movie or something. He won't stay down and he looks rabid but his bones are broken and it's as if he doesn't even notice. It almost reminds you of the Rage Virus from 28 Days Later, just without the blood.

Kory takes another hit to the man and this time he goes and stays down.

"A lot." Dick mutters. "Maybe it wasn't a good idea, me staying here."

"No, you got a fifty thousand dollar bounty on your head. It'd only make things worse." Kory says.

"I got another one." Gar says as a man with an axe starts to walk towards him and fight. "Oh, come on, Pal." Gar groans before he starts fighting this guy until he goes down.

"Looks like the worst of it is over." Dick says, not seeing any other civilians that look to be affected.

"Hold that thought." Kory says as more innocent civilians walk over but they all keep their distance from the Titans.

"Please, don't hurt us." A civilian yells.

"Shit." Dick mutters.

On the one hand, you're a little offended these people saw one video and immediately switched sides. But, on the other, Batman abandoned them and ever since Nightwing and the Titans showed up, Gotham has been more of a shitshow than usual. To some extent, you can kind of see why they're upset and distrusting of the Titans. It's also Crane who can manipulate most people. But you want to know where their sense of loyalty is. So many people just throw their loyalty to the side when one thing goes wrong. You think it's actually pretty sad.

"Everything's alright." Kory assures them.

"You're Titans, Nightwing's gang."

"No, we're not much of a gang, really. More like roommates." Gar says back, trying to make light of the situation the best he can.

"Just get the fuck out of here and leave us alone." Another civilian says.

"We're here to help." Conner says. "That video you saw, it's all lies."

"They're the reason the water's poisoned." A civilian yells.

"Kory, get em out of there." Dick states.

"He wants us to just leave?" Conner asks.

"I vote stay. Give them a good reminder of which side we're on." Blackfire says.

"If you stay, it'll only get worse." Dick says. "Get out. Now."

The Titans do as directed, leaving the people to themselves. You look up to Dick who just looks frustrated. It must be hard to make a call like that when he's been raised for years to always help. The people have always wanted his help. Now, they don't want anything to do with him or the Titans. The Titans became some sort of collateral damage in it. It can't be easy and you feel for him.

"So..." You clear your throat, breaking the silence. "You were right. He did plan to poison people but...he just outed that? And the GCPD also put out a warning anyway? So, most of the city isn't infected."

"Luckily. We just have bounties on our heads while we're dealing with this." Dick lets out a scoff. "Do you want to explain what the hell happened last night?" Dick looks back at you with the raise of his brows, a look you're kind of tired of receiving. It's always the look of disappointment that makes you feel guilty.

"Well...I just...I just wanted to make sure you weren't gonna attack Jason so I went. And then, uh, I ran into Tim who was following Jason." You explain, earning a look screaming 'told you so' from Dick. "Crane was there first though, picked up a gun, and then he shot us." You look to the floor, your heart still feeling like it's filled with lead at the thought of Tim lying on the ground. "And I told Jason to run when he showed up because I knew you'd blame him because you always do. Took some convincing but he listened and I said I'd talk to you. It was all Crane. Not Jason." You nod your head once. "Then...I just-just couldn't do so I left and walked around. I ended up at Jason's a couple hours ago."

Dick nods his head with understanding. As much as he would appreciate you listening to him every once in awhile, he's starting to accept that you're going to do what's best for you and Jason regardless on what he says. Some part of him might find some part of that at least admirable. At least someone here has some loyalty, even if it ends up hurting the Titans. Most of him is still annoyed though and really wants you to understand that what he does and says is for everyone's best interest. Jason included most of the time. But, he is glad you're okay.

"So Crane shot the both of you because you were there?" Dick asks for clarity.

"Basically. I think he really just wants me dead but Tim was there. Which, uh...h-how is-is he?" You ask, dodging Dick's face.

"I don't know." Dick answers honestly. "He had a pulse when the ambulance took him."

"Cool." You nod softly, knowing you'll need to find your way to the hospital or Excellent Gotham later to find out how he is. "So, um...Jason's still on our side, by the way."

"Are you sure?"

You nod. "Yeah, Crane shot me and tried to kill me." You offer a wide smile. "He's a dead man walking now." You offer a chuckle. "So, he's working with Crane now to try and find out what his next step is. Poisoning the water system can't be his only plan, especially with that video. Jason wasn't gone long enough to have shit to do with it so he's got something else planned and Jason's going to try and get it out of him by pretending to be on his side."

Dick pauses, squinting his eyes at you before he looks back to the monitor. He doesn't like it because he's not sure they can trust Jason. You can all you want. You haven't been Jason's target the last two weeks. But, if this works, at least they have someone on the inside.

"What makes you think Crane will believe Jason is still with him?" Dick asks. "If you've been someone Crane has wanted dead and Jason refused, why would that suddenly change?"

"Because Crane is an arrogant ass." You quip right back. "He already had that video ready to go. He knew Jason would come back to him regardless. Though, I think he might have thought I'd die and I didn't. But, with the video up, I think Crane thinks he still has Jason. Also, Jason is more than willing to convince him just to tear him down later. Revenge is great motivation." You nod your head with confidence.

"Right." Dick nods his head, looking a bit displeased with your last words. "Alright, fine." Dick agrees knowing having Jason not trying to kill them is a lot better than nothing. "Where does that leave you then? I need to know where you plan to stand with everything that's happening."

"Since Crane grouped me with you guys, I'm with you and yes, I will listen." You roll your eyes.

"Yeah, I've heard that before." Dick snarks back.

"Yeah." You laugh softly. "Well, I'm with you guys. Gotta be anyway. Gotta make Crane think me and Jason are on opposite sides." You shrug your good shoulder.

Dick nods softly. "Alright." He clears his throat. "You're gonna stick with Gar this time."

"Stick with Gar." You echo.

"Good." Dick nods his head, grabbing his jacket from the chair. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah." You nod your head quickly. "Uh...Jason helped. He, uh, he got the bullet out and everything so I'm good." You offer him a thumbs-up with a closed-mouth smile.

"Okay, good. I'm glad you're okay." Dick nods once. "I'm going to meet with Babs, the Titans are on their way back. Stay here until they get back and fill them in."

"Will do, Dickolas." You nod your head once, sucking in a breath before Dick shakes his head and heads out of the Batcave.

When the Titans get back, you fill them in just as Dick asked you to. They aren't too happy about being pulled out from the streets but they also understand Dick's point of view of the situation. Everyone just hopes his meeting with Babs is to think of some sort of plan to get the city back. So, while you all wait for Dick to get back and tell you the next move, Gar shows you some of the things he's found about the Lazarus Pit including Bruce's notes about Ra's al Ghul. It doesn't say where the Pit is. It does say there are more but Bruce had sealed most of them off. That's all Gar really got so the two of you dive in to find out if you can find out how Ra's made it and what else it could be used for. It doesn't sit right with either of you that Jason was brought back to life using the Pit but no one even knows where it is or how it works or how it was created. So, you search as you wait.

When Dick comes back, he gathers everyone in the living room for a meeting. He stands in front of the main living area while everyone is scattered around, standing and waiting for what he has to say. Dick then explains that him and Babs think it's in everyone's best interest if the Titans turn themselves in. The room falls deadly silent with his words, everyone mostly looking at each other before looking back to Dick. According to Dick, it's for the best and it'll be just a show.

"So, we turn ourselves in and then what?" Gar asks.

"And then we post bail." Dick says. "Continue doing our work but in a less public way. Work in the shadows. Take the city back night by night. It's not gonna be easy and it's not gonna be fast but we can do it. If you have a better idea, please now's the time." Dick gestures a hand to the room before crossing his arms.

"They hate us." Gar says softly, voice etched in hints of defeat.

"They've been manipulated into hating us by Crane." Kory corrects.

"Y/n, Conner, Blackfire, what do you think?" Dick asks.

"It was brutal out there. I don't want to be looked at like that again." Conner says, his voice almost matching Gar's.

"Well, surrender isn't my thing. But I am used to people looking at me like I'm a monster so whatever you all decide on, I'm in." Blackfire states.

You hang your head and you think it's a horrible idea. You trust Babs, absolutely but there are parts of the GCPD that have been corrupt long before and long before her dad and long before Barnes. It doesn't matter how good someone's intentions are in the GCPD because there are always others within the PD who don't care about the greater good or what's good for even themselves. If anyone should know that, it should be the former detective. Does Dick really think him and Babs can just protect all of you? If people in the GCPD were corrupt before, they're going to be corrupt now. Crane got the entire city to hate all of you with one video, how do you all know Crane doesn't have eyes in the department?

"I think it's a bad idea." You say quietly.

"You weren't out there." Conner states.

"No, I know." You nod your head. "And I don't care if people look at me like that. They look anyway." You say softly, tugging your sleeve over your hands. "I just...we trust Babs but does Babs trust every single person in the department?" You look back at Dick.

"We won't be dealing with everyone. It'll be a select few to put on a show, make it seem legit." Dick explains. "You're just coming to our side. It's up to you if you want to go through with this."

You look to Gar and maybe it's against your better judgment but they are your friends, your family. You've done everything to protect Jason and it seems like that might be fixing itself now. Which means you need to fix your own relations with the Titans. And that, for you, means following Dick even if you think it's a bad idea. Plus, you really need to sell you being with the Titans, at least for Jason's own safety against Crane. You don't want him getting wind of Jason not actually being on his side.

"No, I'll do it." You nod your head, earning a quick look from Gar, surprised you agreed. "You just have to be sure this is going to be safe. I trust Babs. I don't trust any other person in that entire department."

"Why not?" Conner asks.

You look to Conner and you don't want to burst his bubble into trusting this plan. You will happily pop the bubble of police for him later. "Just don't." You keep it short.

"It'll be safe." Dick assures you.

"Alright then." You agree.

"Kory?" Dick asks.

"We've played it by the book so far and this is where it's led us. So, maybe you're right. Maybe we try a new way. I'm in." Kory says.

"Alright then, let's suit up." Dick states. "We go in together. As a team. As a family."

While Dick was busy talking with the Titans about turning yourselves in, Jason is the one who started to panic with pure rage. After Jason's managed to convince Crane that they're still good and Jason agrees with him, Crane got word from one of his moles in the department. The commissioner is setting up for the Titans to be "arrested" and then let you all post bail. The commissioner is in on it but Crane was prepared for that. The commissioner has always had a hand in helping Batman and company. So, when Crane gets word, he sends Jason with a bag full of money to pay this mole off with several of the other cops who ride with him to take in the Titans. Override the commissioner. Bring the Titans to Crane.

If Crane gets the Titans, with everything in the Batcave, that's where Jason's worry comes in. The Titans still stand a good chance but if Crane gets all of these guys to go with him and given how unlucky the Titans have been lately, Jason is growing more and more concerned. If Crane has the Titans, the city goes to Hell. It will be destroyed. Jason doesn't know what else Caane is planning but he does know whatever it is, it's not for the greater good of the city. So, he does what Crane asks him, hoping he'll be able to call the Titans to call it off. Maybe Dick will say the others didn't want any part of it. Or maybe you will back out of it if you even agreed to it in the first place and then you and Jason can figure something out. So, once the deal is done and the plan is set into motion, Jason calls you.

But, as his own luck would have it, you don't answer. It rings and rings and then just goes to voicemail. His best guess? Dick has already set the plan into motion with all of you and you're preparing to turn yourselves in. You're going to side with Dick to make this whole thing believable even though Jason figures you're against this whole plan. You're too smart to fall for something like this. You'll go overprepared but you'll be the only one. So, Jason keeps calling, desperate to warn you and he tries Dick but that goes to voicemail, too. He tries Gar and nothing. None of you are answering your phones which leaves him two choices.

Keep trying until one of you picks up and hope for the best. Or, he can go to GCPD himself to try and warn you -- or help if he's too late.

Once all of you are suited up and ready to go, Dick goes over the plan one more time just for extra clarity to make sure everyone is on the same page. All of you are going to pile into some SUVs, ride over, walk in, and then Babs will take it from there having you all be fake processed and the bail will be fake. Then, all of you get to go right back to the manor. In and out. It seems simple but no part of this has been simple. But, none of you argue. All of you nod along and once it's time, you pile into the SUVs just as Dick said.

You hop into the SUV with Gar, Conner, Blackfire, and Krypto while Kory and Dick take the other SUV. Krypto sits in between you and Gar in the back while Conner drives and Blackfire takes passenger. You find yourself watching the city pass by on the drive, your stomach twisting into knots. The last time you were arrested, you ended up with Jerry. This whole thing just seems like such a bad idea. And if it is and you have to fight back, that's even worse. That's just a bigger target on your backs if you can get out of there in one piece. There just had to be another way to win the city back. The city wasn't always on Batman's side.

"On Tamaran, it is called The Pit." Blackfire starts, pulling you from your thoughts. "It's dark. So dark, you cannot even see your hand." She explains, making you and Gar both look to your hands and then at each other.

Conner picks up her hand, intertwining his fingers with hers. "It isn't like that here." Conner says. "Right?" Conner looks in the rearview mirror for reassurance from Gar and you.

"Right." Gar starts. "I-it's totally not like that. It's gonna be fine." Gar offers a smile but you swear it's incredibly unconvincing. "Dick and Barabara have a plan. We're just going to go in and out. This is really just all for show." Gar explains, looking to you for reassurance. And now you just think he's trying to convince himself.

"Yeah, it's really not like that." You add in. It isn't like The Pit. It's not great and it sucks. There is a lot of unfairness and cruelty but it's not The Pit. And you think telling Blackfire everything about the corruption among the GCPD, probably won't help the situation. "I've been for real arrested once. It's not like The Pit." You explain, omitting every other detail.

"We'll be together the whole time. I've got you." Conner assures Blackfire with a calm but firm tone. "I promise." He glances over to her with a soft smile as you catch him squeeze her hand.

You smile softly because for all anyone knows, this isn't going to work out. Nothing has gone to plan but Conner still offers reassurance anyway and it's kind of sweet to watch. Gar offers a chuckle, catching the smile on your lips. It earns him a light shove with the roll of your eyes. It's just nice seeing the two of them unbothered by everything that's happening. It's maybe even a little cathartic in a weird way.

Within a few more minutes, both SUVs pull up to the back of the GCPD. There are snipers on the roof and several GCPD officers standing guard with full swat gear outside of the doors. This is supposed to be for show but you're really not buying it. This is a lot of people for something that's supposed to be fake.

Everyone starts to get out of their vehicles, you meeting up with Gar in the front of the SUV.

"You okay?" Gar whispers. "I mean, we trust Barbara." Gar nods his head, his brows raised as if looking for some form of reassurance from you. This isn't sitting right with him either.

"Yeah." You shake your head, eyeing one of the snipers on top of the roof. There are ten total and you start to think of an exit strategy to avoid them or take them out on your way if it comes to it. "If shit goes south, get out of here immediately. I'll be right behind you and stay close to the building until you reach the back alley. Less light and I didn't see snipers over there." You whisper back, pulling your attention right back to Gar.

Gar gulps, looking up at the roof where the guns are pointed right at you. "That wasn't reassuring." Gar almost whines as he looks back to you.

"Wasn't supposed to be." You shake your head, as you chew the inside of your cheek before you start walking. Gar follows right behind you until he's walking side-by-side.

The two of you fall in line right behind Kory and Dick while Conner, Blackfire, and Krypto follow Gar and you. As you all make your way to the entrance, every single person with a gun, trains their weapons on all of you. The Titans are the targets and these people are just waiting for the signal to start shooting. That's what it feels like. Being a vigilante is illegal, technically, but this is...a lot.

"This seems excessive." Kory states as all of you enter the building, passing by even more men with guns and swat gear.

"Barbara cleared it with me." Dick states. "It's all for show. They need to stand their ground." Dick states and you roll your eyes. Basically, they need to stroke cops' egos. What else is new?

"This is just optics, right?" Gar asks Dick, the growing pit in his stomach is starting to bubble. Gar doesn't normally second guess Dick's plans but tonight, he is. This seems wrong.

"Optics." Dick confirms calmly.

The Titans stand on the main level, looking up to the second floor where Babs and one of her right hands is standing beside her looking over the railing. There are cops on all sides of you and above you, covered in their swat gear with shields. Dick can say it's optics all he wants but you're getting a really bad feeling about this one. And then Blackfire bumps into you, making you and Gar turn around. One of the cops, used his shield to bump her and Conner used his superspeed to immediately be at Blackfire's side.

"Back off." Conner threatens, standing toe-to-toe with the cop that shoved her.

This is bad.

This is about to be really, really bad.

You look around as the cops start to slowly close in on all of you. This is not good. If this is optics and a show, they've done it. The show has been shown and it's time to get the hell out of here and finish the plan. There is no reason for them to be approaching the Titans. Not if they're on Barbara's side.

Dick sticks out of his hand, easing them away but it's not working. They're not going to listen to him. They just keep closing in with their shields and weapons pointed right at all of you. The Titans might not be here for a fight, but very clearly, the GCPD definitely is.

"Easy. We're not here for a fight." Dick states, keeping his voice calm but stern as to not piss anyone off.

"Move in." One of the men up top states, demanding the entire room.

Everything falls into slow motion as you look up to him, the other Titans and Barbara doing the same. It's as if everything starts to crumble at your feet. You are severely outnumbered and outgunned. This was a bad idea and you knew it was. It shouldn't have been but no one can trust people outside Barbara. That's how it is and now you're all trapped in this mess.

The cops start to close in, shoving all of the Titans. They try to shove you into smaller sections in order to separate you but you stand in between Gar and Dick as your hands form into fists. Your eyes scan the room quickly and there are fewer men up top. You could get up there and escape pretty easily with the grappling hook.

"Stand down!" Barbara yells but they aren't listening. They don't work for her anymore.

"There." You whisper to Gar, looking up to the second floor. "When you get the chance, get up there."

"What?" Gar questions quickly.

"They'll be too distracted by what's happening on the floor. You can get up there easily as a tiger and I can follow you." You nod your head once at him, reaching for a knife from your utility belt as you prepare for your own opening the second things start to turn violent.

This isn't going to be peaceful. Gar sees the knife in your hand, your hand gripping it tightly and he wonders when you became so prepared for everything to go south. He wonders if it's just trauma build-up like a clogged artery preparing for a heart attack or if this is a Bruce thing or maybe even a Jason thing. You never came here with any form of optimism.

Conner holds some of them off while others start to crowd Gar and you. Dick is entirely covered in cops before he shoves them off of him but then a gunshot rings out through the GCPD, Conner stopping the bullet with his hand. You, Gar, and Kory look over just in time to see the cop fire a second bullet and this time, it hits Blackfire.

"No!" Kory yells.

And that's when all hell breaks loose. Conner starts attacking the cop that shot Blackfire while the other cops jump in to attack the rest of you. Three go for you but you're quicker than they are, already having your free hand glow at your side. They're covered in protective gear and with the shield, you know you're not going to make any good shots with a knife. Desperate times, desperate measures. So, you pocket the knife and your other hand glows before you shoot acid at one of the men and the shield starts to melt. The other men keep coming closer, you punching and kicking them before you touch them with your hands, the acid melting right through their uniforms as they let out blood-curdling screams. The fabric and plastic becomes burned into their skin, sending them to the ground in agonizing pain.

Once those men are down, you jump in to help Gar so he can transform. You distract them and fight them until Gar jumps from behind you and then in front of you, fully turned into a green tiger. You can feel the bullet wound slowing you down. It's aching and throbbing, taking more of your energy you could really use right about now. And you swear you can feel blood leaking from the wound and down your arm as you land a right hook to one of the cops. That's when you hear that same guy above you, telling his men to shoot Gar.

"You gotta get out of here." You urge, shooting a hand full of acid at another man and melting his shield.

But, it's too late, as Gar defends himself, a tranquilizer is shot right out at him and he lets out a growl in response. This is just like the tower. Outnumbered. Outgunned. Even with the other Titans, you don't stand a chance. You can hear the other Titans fighting, getting a glimpse of the fire coming from Kory and Dick and Conner fighting hard. All of you need to get out of here.

"Go!" You point to the top, right where the man is. "Go, I'll be right behind you." You hold off the other men, giving Gar time to jump to the second level and head towards the exit.

You follow him, shooting your grappling hook to the top. The man pulls out his gun just as you reach him. With your feet planted on the floor, you put your hands up, the throbbing the front of your head echoing like a beating drum. He cowered when Gar jumped up here. You are fully confident even with a bum shoulder you could wrestle that gun from him with ease.

"Put the gun down!" You hear Barbara yell and that's when his eyes dart to her for just a second, giving you the perfect opportunity.

You lunge forward, grabbing the gun and then his wrist, twisting his arm. You squeeze and turn, just as Jason had taught you in several of your training sessions and then he drops the gun. You grab it before he even has a chance and you turn the gun on him.

One pull of the trigger and he's dead. That's all it would take. And you're ready to do it. All of the fighting is happening below you and yeah, maybe this guy is just under Crane's shit. But, you're really sick of it. He's not high. He's not drugged. He didn't have to join Crane but he did and he just got Gar shot. It feels like minutes as you almost debate shooting him at point-blank range but it's been five seconds. Five seconds for Barbara to realize you might not back down. Five seconds for the shooter behind you to aim his own gun at your back, kickstarting the throbbing in the back of your head.

"Bluejay!" Barbara yells and you grit your teeth.

Fine.

You spin around, aiming the gun at the shooter's leg and shoot just once. It sends him to the ground and then you take off, not leaving the gun behind. You're real sick of people hurting the people you care about. He was going to shoot you on your way out anyway. Do or die. Kill or be killed.

You find Gar outside, limping as the tranquilizer is starting to take effect. He's not going to make it far and Sam needs to find somewhere for him to go. There has to be somewhere near here. And that's when she realizes...Gar isn't shot. Besides the tranquilizer. Sam looks up, not seeing a single sniper or cop on the roof and then she looks around the parking lot, not seeing anyone here either.

What the fuck?

That's weird given how many were here when the Titans arrived. That also cannot possibly be good. You roll your eyes and decide you both just need to get out of here and you'll find somewhere on the way. There's a tunnel entrance not far and you're pretty sure you and Gar can hide there until you think of a better place.

"Follow me, we're gonna go to the tunnels." You whisper to him as the two of you head for the alley that leads out to a side street.

The two of you run off to the alley, Gar slower than usual and your cape flowing behind you. Your shoulder is aching and you can feel the adrenaline wanting to crash. You're certain now that it's bleeding and your hand is shaking. Your entire arm is shaking. Gar isn't the only one who needs to take a breather.

The two of you exit through the alley and make your way on a sidewalk. You know if you take the sidewalk down to the intersection, you can cross over and head into an alley on that side of the street. The tunnel entrance will only be a block away and you'll be on the right side of the street.

But just as you and Gar go to walk past an alley right before the intersection, your head throbs from the side right before someone grabs your arm, yanking you into the alley. You fight back until the person spins you around and then you stop as relief comes over you.

"It's me. It's fine." Jason urges through the helmet just as Gar walks into the alley having seen you get grabbed by Jason.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" You spit back.

"You guys have to get the fuck off the streets. They'll be looking for you. Come with me." Jason urges you and Gar, trying to walk past but you and Gar block him.

"Answer me, Jason." Your eyes are narrowed at him and without seeing your mouth, Jason knows you're gritting your teeth behind the mask.

"I'll explain but let me get you guys somewhere safe first. You think those snipers just went on a fucking coffee run?" Jason quips back making you look to the Gar. Gar shakes his head and you let out a breath.

"You?" You ask, your eyes narrowing. How the fuck did he know to be there?

Jason nods. "Let's go before they show up." Jason's voice is stern and almost forceful as he walks past them.

Jason leads the two of you across the street and down a different alley. You exclusively take alleys and you're just relieved they clearly used a tranquilizer that wasn't as potent as the one CADMUS used. Gar is still slowing down but he's at least awake. But, you're still stuck trying to figure out how Jason knew and why he didn't do anything about it. You were all just attacked and you all could have been killed. He knew though. Pretending to be with Crane doesn't mean screwing the Titans over. You know there is probably an explanation but right now, you're pissed off and scared and in pain.

You reach an abandoned building and Jason opens the door in the back for the three of you. The three of you make your way upstairs and into a room with boarded-up windows. This place doesn't have any type of belongings but you're willing to bet Jason is hoarding the place. Jason would probably never not have a place to go after everything. Gar practically collapses on the floor before he starts to transform back into himself.

"Sleep it off. I'll wait until things calm down and I'll go looking for Dick and Kory, okay?" You crouch down to Gar as you put a hand on his shoulder.

"You okay?" Gar gets out with a labored breath.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Better at this now." You offer a nod and if Gar weren't so exhausted from the tranquilizer, he'd be worried about why you're suddenly better at it. Maybe Gotham does change people. It's something Dick warned the Titans about. Gotham eats people alive.

"Are you sure?" Gar's words start to slur together just a little.

"Yeah." You nod your head and offer him a soft smile. "Just...sleep, okay? I'll find you clothes, too."

Gar's face starts to burn. "Okay." Gar nods his head, plopping down on the floor as the tranquilizer finally kicks in entirely.

"Here." Jason offers a blanket of some sort and you use it to cover Gar before you get to your feet.

"He'll be out awhile." You say softly, a sadness coating your words.

There's almost a numbness that's coming with this territory. You wonder if this is how Bruce has done it for so long, maybe that's why Bruce is the way he is. His parents were killed in front of him and then...here he is. Batman, vengeance. Maybe in order for him to be Batman, he has to be numb to it, to the pain of what comes with being a hero. Maybe he's let some of that numbness leak into his personal life and that's why he was the way he was with Dick and why he tried to be better with Jason but still failed. You wonder if he just numbs it all in order to keep going. And maybe that's not entirely Bruce's fault. Because you don't want to be numb about everything.

The pain is the worst part but outside of pain, Bruce seems to push things away and maybe that's still how he can be Batman. Maybe it wasn't always like that but bad things happen. You don't want that. It's just, you're standing here with Jason and you're annoyed with him but you're not even that mad anymore. You're tired, your shoulder hurts but emotionally, the only thing you really feel right now is worry. Worry for Gar and the Titans. That's it. That doesn't feel too good either.

Jason nods his head before he looks to the floor. He looks back to the window and then to you, nodding his head toward the window. The two of you head over to the boarded window, taking a seat below it. Jason takes his helmet off, resting it beside him as he stretches his legs out in front of him. The white streak flops onto his forehead, you getting the slightest hit of a smile at the sight.

You follow his lead, taking your own mask off as you pull your legs to your chest. You rest your head against the boards, closing your eyes as you take in a breath. Jason watches you carefully, seeing a slight tremor in your hand of the shoulder that was shot as you rest your forearms on your knees. There's a mark near your temple that looks like it might be forming into a bruise. But, that's it. Jason doesn't see anything too bad. GCPD has never been very good at taking out vigilantes. It's not really their thing which Jason is thankful for. But, he really wishes he weren't too late.

It's not his fault. He's trying to work Crane and part of that is still doing his dirty work. He had no choice but the second he could, he tried his absolute hardest to warn the Titans. It just wasn't enough. It's another really hard pill to swallow. Working with Crane is his biggest mistake. Everything is a mess and that, that part is on him. He is desperate for it all just to come to an end.

"Oh, here." You mutter, pulling the gun from your utility belt. You hand it over with caution, Jason noticing the tremor worse as he takes the gun from you. Jason blinks at you and then at the gun, trying to find the right question. "Wrestled it from a piece of shit who caused this shit, shot the piece of shit that shot Gar, then I took it."

Jason shakes his head as his eyes close for a second, growing confused. Desperate times, desperate measures. He entirely understands how you ended up with the gun. That's not really the question he has now. It's you shooting someone. Your hands are shaking and your hands very rarely ever shake after a fight. It's one of the things Jason finds the most interesting. It's your steady hands before, during, and after heavy conflicts. He was like that, too and then Deathstroke happened but now they're shaking a lot. And something looks really wrong which could also just be what happened at the station. But, Jason wonders if it's the use of a gun. You always said you weren't a fan of using them.

"You shot someone?" Jason raises a brow at you as you read the disbelief on his face.

"I mean, yeah? You shoot people." You scoff, looking forward again. "I wrestled the gun away, had it aimed at the guy and Babs yelled at me. So, I turned and shot the guy who was about to shoot me who also shot Gar. Had it in my hand, might as well." You clear your throat, still dodging Jason's stare. "I didn't have a choice. He was gonna shoot me if I didn't do something." You state quietly as you chew the inside of your cheek.

It's really not the gun. The way you see it, it's really not that different than you throwing a knife at someone's head. It kills them all the same. It's not all that different than you throwing a knife at someone's leg. It wounds them all the same. It doesn't matter. It is just everything from the last two weeks. You really hate not having the choice to walk away. You might still pick the violent answer, but you'd like a choice. You would like a choice in the way your life goes.

"Alright." Jason nods his head before he shakes it. "Why the fuck did you take it with you?" Jason asks. You know these guns can be tracked. It's police issued.

"Fuck them." You state. "If I left it, they'd shoot me. So I took it to give to you to get rid of. Or I'll throw it in the Harbor out of spite."

"Right." Jason nods his head. "Shot someone? Using my R blades? Combat? Got a cape? You really are following in my footsteps, huh?" Jason offers you a teasing grin to try and lighten your mood, just a little bit. He just hates seeing you like this.

You narrow your eyes at him but Jason catches you starting to smirk. "You're really good at this." You roll your eyes. "Be stupid not to take notes. That's what you told me to do anyway."

Jason lets out a soft chuckle. "Can't believe you fucking listened."

"Yeah, it is a rarity." You quip before you look at him, lifting your head up. While this is nice discussing your own motives, you'd love to turn it around now. Jason knew to be there and when. That sounds like a problem. "You wanna tell me what the fuck?"

"Crane." Jason lets out a scoff. It's his turn to turn his attention forward. "Had me pay off one of the guys to turn on Babs, turn the whole department. Then, take all of you guys to him." Jason looks back at you, his face reading blatant annoyance.

"And you didn't warn me?" You shake your head in disbelief, the question coming out more as a demand -- an accusation.

"No! I tried! You, Dick, and Gar didn't answer!" Jason defends himself as he turns to face you. "I'd never let you walk in there if I had a choice. I tried. And when I got there, you were already inside. So, took out the snipers." Jason shrugs his shoulders. "The Titans against the GCPD?" Jason lets out a scoff. "I figured you'd all be fine inside but I didn't leave until I saw you and Gar. I was gonna go in to help when I heard the fighting but you and Gar walked out."

You nod your head before you pull out the burner and sure enough, you have three missed calls. That makes you feel a lot better. No part of you ever really believed Jason wouldn't at least try to warn you. You are relieved though, that even when things are messy as all hell, he still has your back. He always did but tonight just feels different.

"Took out?" You raise a brow.

"Knocked them out." Jason nods with a single nod.

"You know they're gonna tell Crane Red Hood got them, right?" You question, wondering how he plans to get himself out of it. And maybe you're a little relieved. You really hate him working with Crane still even if it was your idea.

"Thought of that." Jason says through a chuckle. "Wore a different mask, put on a different hoodie. They won't know any better. I was in and out anyway." Jason offers with confidence, clearly proud to do this work.

You shake your head but give Jason a gentle smile. "Well, thank you for risking it anyway. And for trying to warn us."

"Always." Jason nods his head right back, a toothy smile on display. It's a warm smile this time. "You alright, though?" Jason asks.

"Uh...yeah, I-I uh, I think I'm bleeding again." You state, looking to your shoulder and then back to him.

"Let me see." Jason states, gesturing his hand for you to lean forward.

You lean forward as Jason unzips your suit in the back and pulls down the shoulder part of your suit. Sure enough, the wound has bled through the gauze and there's blood everywhere he can see. Jason's heart jumps to his throat. It's been hours and the wound isn't that bad. For there to be this much blood in such a short amount of time, you had to be fighting like hell to get out of there. And you did it while looking out for Gar. And Jason gets a proud smile.

"What?" You raise a brow at him, wondering why the blood is making him smile.

"Trained you well." Jason states softly, confidence and pride etched into those three words.

"Shut up." You groan. "You would take credit for it." You let out a soft laugh.

"Well, if it weren't for me, you'd get your ass kicked." Jason quips right back. "So...you're welcome." Jason gives you a smirk.

Your eyes narrow before you roll them. "Yes, thank you so much. I would just be in so much distress if not for you. Please, where would I be?!" You fake a loud whine, the sarcasm spilling from your lips.

"Arrested." Jason answers plainly as he blinks at you.

You nod your head. "Fuck you." You shrug as you widen your eyes, earning a laugh from Jason.

"Oh, well in that case, I don't have to help you now. Ya know, if you don't need my help or anything." Jason sits back, his signature smirk crossing his face.

You let out a sigh, giving him a fake glare. "You won't let me bleed out." You state with confidence. "Where would you be without me? I'm the only one who plays your games." You offer him the same smirk.

Jason gives you a single nod. "Because I play yours." Jason quips.

"Which brings us back to you not letting me bleed out." You grin at him.

"You're really confident in that." Jason nods his head, knowing damn well you're not going to bleed out.

"I'm always confident in your abilities to not let something really bad happen to me." You say softly but there's a smirk on your face. It almost reads as a joke but Jason can tell by the sweetness in your voice and how quietly you said it that it's true. Even if you only said it out loud to mess with him.

Jason fake groans. "Alright. Fine." Jason says dramatically. "Guess I'll be fucking nice and help."

"You were going to anyway." You let out a soft laugh that makes Jason's stomach spin.

"Yeah..." Jason says softly, his smile turning soft as he scoots back over to you. "How many you take down anyways?" Jason asks as he pulls the gauze off.

"I lost count." You state. "There were a lot of them though. Uh, one of them shot Blackfire though. I think Kory was trying to get out with her. Dick and Conner were still fighting when we left though."

"I saw them follow you guys out." Jason assures you. "They're alright."

A surprised but kind smile starts to come to your lips. "Did you watch for them?" You ask.

Jason shrugs. "Saw you were alright and Gar, so maybe yeah. I just hung out a minute to make sure the others got out. Kory was with Blackfire and Dick was with Conner and Krypto. Blackfire was the only one who looked hurt." Jason explains as he grabs a gauze pad from his pockets.

"Didn't help though?"

"You know there's no fucking way in hell Kory would have let me." Jason quips back.

"Yeah...." You let out a sigh. "That's probably true." You nod as Jason sticks the gauze pad to the wound. "You just carrying first aid stuff now?"

"Just being prepared." Jason chuckles. "You should be proud." Jason nods up at you once the gauze is stuck and in place. "You should be okay. Here." Jason pulls another gauze pad out. "Just in case."

"Thanks, Jay." You take it, the shaking in your hands not as prominent now.

"You and me." Jason nods once at you with a soft smile before zipping her suit back up.

"You and me." You nod back before putting the gauze pad in your utility belt. "So...Crane has the department?" You clear your throat. It would be easier not to discuss that but you don't have that privilege.

"Yep." Jason shakes his head. "He's got more than that. The video, everyone is falling for his shit. He's gonna try to destroy Gotham." Jason states.

"How?" You ask.

"Taking over everyone and turning everyone against you guys for starters. I don't know what else he has planned. I know it's not fucking good though. He's losing it."

"Fantastic." You roll your eyes.

According to Bruce's file on Crane, this is what always happens. He has a plan and it works well at first but then he starts to crumble, spiral, and it all goes to shit. Crane does try to take people with him though and no one is left unscathed when Crane starts to fall off the deep end. You're getting the feeling this isn't going to end well.

"You, uh, you should probably head out then, right?" You ask cautiously. "Like, if someone sees you with us, leading us here or sees me leave after seeing you leave. That'll be a problem. You know Crane wants the city, so find out how."

Jason grits his teeth and he hates this. It was his idea to go to Crane in the first place and maybe this is just his penance for it. Being forced to work with him not that he wants to kill him. And he hates the idea of leaving you and Gar. The entire city is going to want you dead. The GCPD already tried to turn them in to Crane who would have killed you. You can handle yourselves but anything can happen out there. Worse things can happen though if he doesn't find out what Crane is doing and put a stop to it.

"Yeah." Jason answers shortly. "Alright, yeah." Jason nods his head with a sigh. "Use the burner though, let me know if you find anyone. I'll try to get into the traffic cameras and see if I can locate anyone for you and Gar to get to." Jason explains as he gets to his feet.

"Thanks, Jay." You offer him a soft smile. "We'll be fine." You assure him.

"Right." Jason nods his head, plucking his helmet from the floor. "If shit starts going south--"

"I'll call or text. I got it, Jay. We've been here plenty of times now. Look who's the one worrying now." You scrunch your nose at him, mostly to try and ease some of his worry and hide yours.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever." Jason lets out a scoff but the corners of his mouth tug up slightly. "Good luck." Jason nods once before he turns and heads out of the room, leaving you alone with an unconscious Gar.

You sit against the window for several hours, just looking through the slats of the window. The city is going to shit. Chaos is already starting to hit the streets. Fires and fights, you can see the few buildings across the street boarding up their windows. Maybe this is what Crane wanted. GCPD is with Crane and Gotham doesn't have any vigilantes to protect it. That's when you start to think how odd this whole thing is.

Bruce ran the city on fear. Fear of the Bat and how he could take down anyone, send them to Arkham but with the insurance policy of making it out alive. It was still fear that kept a lot of people from committing at least serious crimes and it did keep Gotham, at least, somewhat safer with certain things. Crane's entire obsession is with fear. He makes people live out their worst fears. It's what he does but now he's trying to control Gotham by turning everyone against the vigilantes which just makes them unafraid. You aren't sure what that has to do with anything or if it even matters but it's something you can't help but think about it. And you wonder what will happen if it works. What happens if he gets what he wants this time? Where does that leave the Titans? Gotham?

You've never been much of a team player. You've always done better alone or with one person. It's easier that way. You wonder if that's how it should be. You remember when you left the tower and Dick said you could be a Titan again. If you wanted to. But, the more you sit here and think about it, maybe you don't want to. There are too many moving pieces and even though it's not your responsibility, it's too much to have to worry about so many people all at once. And if Dick fucks up, they all die. That's a pretty big burden to carry and you aren't so sure you want that every single day. Maybe to help sometimes, yeah. But, maybe not every day and if Crane wins, this is Gotham. You'll fight tirelessly until it's not his anymore because this city doesn't belong to him. It doesn't belong to anyone like him.

After a few more hours, the sun starts to come up, the gloomy clouds blocking most of the pretty oranges and pinks. You check your phone, only for there to be an x where the service bars are. You try to make a call to Dick but the service is unavailable. Fantastic. Your best guess is this has to do with whatever Crane has coming or the chaos that Gotham is under which means you and Gar are on your own until you're able to find the rest of the Titans. But you can't just sit here for right now.

You still need to grab some sort of food for you both and grab clothes for Gar so while the streets aren't as busy you decide now might be a good time to try and find supplies. The streets aren't as busy as they were earlier and nothing should be open yet. There's a convenience store not far so if you're quick, you could break in, grab what you and Gar need, and be back before anyone spots you. It shouldn't be too hard. So, you grab your mask and make your way to the door Jason let you through last night only to be caught completely off guard as the door swings open.

"Rachel?" You question as you pull your mask off.

Rachel blinks at you a few times before gaining a soft smile. "Hey." She didn't know you even got a suit.

"What the hell are you doing here?" You ask as you tug Rachel inside and close the door behind her.

"I don't know. I just had a feeling I needed to come back." Rachel states, somewhat ominously.

You've never been so relieved to see Rachel. Rachel is literally the daughter of a demon. Based on how Gotham is looking right about now, you might need that. So far, nothing else has worked and Rachel killed her dad. Not to mention, the Titans could really just use some more hands if you stand a chance against the entire population of Gotham City.

"Oh, yeah no we could use some fucking help right about now." You laugh softly.

"Yeah? What is going on?" Rachel looks around the abandoned building, taking notice in how rundown and cold it is. "It's kind of weird out there." Rachel states, remembering how Gotham was before when Dick brought them on the way to San Fransisco.

This is not that Gotham. There are fires in the streets now, people yelling, being more guarded than usual. It's every person for themselves and it's six in the morning. No one should even have enough energy for that now. But, word got out that the vigilantes are gone and the commissioner was arrested. People have really lost it since.

"You haven't talked to anyone right?" You question, remembering Rachel was unreachable to everyone meaning she probably needs a full recap.

"Right, I couldn't really talk to anyone while I was there." Rachel says with hesitance, starting to worry about where this might go.

"Awesome. Jason died." You spit out, ripping the bandaid off.

Rachel coughs. "He what?!"

"Yeah, Joker beat him to death with a crowbar. So, Bruce went and killed the Joker. Fast forward to all the Titans showing up, and surprise, Jason's alive again. Lazarus Pit." You spit it out before Rachel can even ask. "Only he's Red Hood now and he was addicted to a drug made by Jonathan Crane, Scarecrow. That made him fearless which was unpleasant, honestly. So, for the last two weeks, I've been trying to get him clean while he's been trying to kill Dick. And Dick's been trying to capture him. He's clean now and on our side but I got shot and Dick got shot and Gar just got tranquilized last night. Crane is trying to take over the city, he poisoned the water. We were almost all killed last night because of it. It's been a mess." You nod casually as you finish.

"Um..." Rachel tries to find the right words to even process any of that. "I missed a lot." Rachel nods.

"Oh, yeah, welcome to Gotham." You mutter as you lead Rachel up the stairs. "And now, apparently, cell towers are down because I can't get a call out. I have no idea where everyone else is. It's just Gar and me."

"Okay, wait. So, where is everyone else? And where is Jason?" Rachel questions. She could tell that all of the Titans weren't here but she didn't realize you and Gar would be on your own entirely.

"No idea. He's been trying to find out what Crane is planning. He's the only reason any of us got out alive last night. He took out the snipers. As for the Titans, I don't know." You say sadly, sucking in a deep breath. "We got separated and the city went to shit not long after."

"What a mess." Rachel says softly.

"Yeah. Donna?" You ask with hope. If Jason can be brought back, there has to be a way to bring back Wonder Girl.

Rachel shakes her head sadly. "Nope."

You let out a sigh of defeat. "I'm sorry. At least you tried though." You look over to her as you reach the room where Gar is still passed out. "More than what most people would do. There has to be a way though." You assure her.

"Yeah, maybe we should ask Jason how it all works." Rachel says only half joking.

"He doesn't know. I did ask." You let out a soft laugh. "He doesn't even know where it is." You let out a breath. "Anyway, we're hiding here until we figure out what to do and until Gar wakes up." You gesture to the room just as Gar starts to stir awake.

Gar's eyes land on the two of you as confusion wraps itself around him. The last thing he remembers is you and Jason being here. It's fuzzy but he remembers that. The person standing next to you is not Jason though. Jason doesn't normally wear all black. He blinks a few times, trying to get his vision to focus and once it does, he's certain something went wrong.

"Rachel?" Gar asks, eyes still partially closed with sleep while the two of you get closer. "Did I die again or are you really real?"

"Of course I'm real." Rachel says as the two of you crouch down.

"I found her." You state.

"I found you." Rachel looks back at you.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah same thing." You state. "How you feeling?"

"Tired." Gar chuckles. "How did you find her?"

"I could just feel you guys." Rachel states simply. "Your energy. I started at GCPD, ended up here." Rachel explains as she hands Gar his clothes.

The two of you stand up and turn around so Gar can change. You're definitely thankful Rachel was able to grab his clothes because that was one thing you were not confident you could grab. And he can't very well just be out there with a blanket.

"Did you find anyone else?" Gar asks as he gets dressed.

"No, I came here first." Rachel says.

"I actually didn't leave. I opened the door and Rachel was there but cell towers are down so I can't even reach out to try to find them." You roll your shoulders.

"So, now what?" Gar asks once he's fully clothed.

You and Rachel turn around, looking between each other.

"I have no idea." You answer with defeat.

Meanwhile, Crane decides he's earned his right to Wayne Manor. With the Titans out of commission and in hiding, the manor is open. It's safe and it'll be the perfect place for Crane to call home now. It'll make it easier to run Gotham from the Manor, having access to not only the Batcave but everything within the Batcave. And of course, he decided to take Jason with him who's still not liking this whole getting along with him thing when the only thing he wants to do is put a bullet in his head right about now.

With the lines down, it's going to make it that much harder for him to even contact anyone. If Jason does find out what Crane is planning, how is he supposed to find Dick without Crane catching onto what he's doing? This whole plan is a mess and being back at the manor isn't making Jason feel any better. It feels wrong.

This isn't Crane's home. Jason is pissed -- hurt by Bruce but maybe that doesn't mean letting Crane into the manor is a good idea. He's going to take over the place and make it his when he doesn't even belong here. But, Jason is also thinking of how he doesn't belong here either. Bruce abandoned him. This was never really Jason's home anyway. He tried to make it fit, tried to make it stick but it was never really him anyway. The fancy manor, the galas, events, press, money, just having a place to go home to that was safe. Even the training didn't feel like him. He loves it more than words but at the beginning, even that just felt like he was just trying to fill in the shoes that would always be the wrong size. But now, it feels worse. He feels more like he's trespassing. He's not supposed to be alive, let alone here with Crane. In another world, Jason thinks maybe he'd have ditched Crane after being brought back and he would have walked in to find Bruce. Maybe it would be different then.

But, it's not.

"So, this is what a billion dollars gets ya?" Crane asks, standing overlooking the living room. Crane makes his way down into the main living room, examining the curtains on his way down. "Interior designers the world over-exclaimed, meh." Crane shrugs with boredom before glancing to Jason who's still standing on the landing looking over the room. "Alright enough with the whole tortured hero stuff. Come on. We have reached the summit. It's time for us to enjoy the view. I think this calls for some spirits." Crane states as he takes his coat off, tossing it onto the couch before he grabs a bottle of alcohol.

Tortured hero? That's what he thinks the issue is here? Crane's gotten Jason to make a drug, get addicted to it, kill innocent people, turn on everyone who ever cared about him, Crane almost killed you, and is trying to tear down the city. Being this so-called tortured hero is not Jason's issue. Crane is arrogant and delusional. Jason can't tell if he's just doing it on purpose or if he believes any of the shit that leaves his mouth. Crane is selfish and cruel. Jason is kicking himself for not seeing it sooner. Crane doesn't care about anyone or anything besides himself. And Jason's just stuck here playing along.

"Look," Crane states as he uncorks the bottle. "Make a toast. To Batsy." Crane says, pouring himself a glass. "To beating them. To knowing them. To growing them." Crane says as he hands a glass to Jason. Jason takes it, not bothering to start the argument now. "We gotta redecorate." Crane says, looking around. "Starting with this." Crane says as he eyes the large painted portrait of the Wayne's hanging above the fireplace.

Crane pushes a chair in front of the fireplace, using it as a ladder to grab the painting. He places the painting down in front of the fireplace, kicking the chair out of the way. Then he grabs a knife from his pocket, eyeing the painting.

"Actually, you should do the honors." Crane turns around to face Jason, offering him the knife.

Jason walks around the couch, grabbing the knife from Crane before Crane walks to plop himself on the couch. Jason watches him before he looks back to the painting, questioning if he should actually listen to Crane on this one. It feels wrong but he is still really hurt.

"It's time to finally pay back your father for the gifts he's given you." Crane states with ease.

Jason stares at the painting and at first there's a guilt that comes over him. This is of Bruce and his parents. His parents are gone, it's not like this can be replaced. But, the more he stands here, the more he thinks about how badly he's been hurt by Bruce.

Bruce gave him magic by giving him Robin and then he just...ripped it away. He did what everyone always does. Promise him something and then take it away, take from him. He begged him not to give up on him and Bruce did anyway. Bruce gave up on him just like everyone else. He never bothered to try to understand him. Bruce just sent him to Leslie to fix him. And while Jason knows, he is the one that went after the Joker, Bruce didn't do anything about it.

He didn't even realize something was wrong or that something was going on. He should have noticed and he should have tried to help. Based on the context Jason has gotten from you, it does not sound like Bruce was worried and asked you to check on him. You figured it out. Not Bruce, the world's greatest detective. Jason was cooking Crane's drug and seeing Crane and Bruce never once figured it out. You did and while you're good at detective work, Bruce is supposed to be the best. But, when it comes to his own son, he just...failed? Jason swears it was on purpose because how else did he fucking miss it? How did he miss that Jason was struggling so badly? Jason doesn't scream from the rooftops that he needs help but he also makes it obvious in his own way and Bruce missed every single cry for help Jason has ever given him.

Bruce knows Jason's entire past, every piece of it and he will never understand. Jason pushed a serial rapist off a building and all Bruce did was get mad. He never bothered to care to understand Jason's point of view of the situation. Maybe that's just Jason breaking the rules, but it was Bruce's job to try to understand. Jason was just a kid. And he was brutally murdered and it's fine Bruce has a no-kill rule but the way Jason sees it, he should have killed the Joker because the Joker took Jason away from Burce. Jason is Bruce's son, he said so, and he picked him, and yet he's the one that feels left behind and abandoned and damaged. He was never good enough. He was always too much of a bother to try to understand. Bruce only ever wanted to fix him in the way Bruce wanted to fix everyone, make them just like him. But, that doesn't work for Jason and he doesn't think he'll ever be fixed and he's pissed and hurt because he hates feeling broken.

So, he pulls his arm back and starts slicing up the painting with everything in him.

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russellsppttemplates · 4 months

Text

Daddy's here, buddy (Lewis Hamilton)

A look into the Hamilton household now that they are a family of three

Note: english is not my first language. After a long time on hold (I know it has been a while, like, a really long time), I'm finally posting this one. I won't blame you if you have left, especially since it took me so long, but if you're still around, I hope you like this, anon!

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Tw: mentions pregnancy, postpartum (difficulties walking, breastfeeding, soreness)

Tag list: @myloverjk-blog

As soon as Lewis was able, he flew straight back home, promising Toto and the rest of the team a detailed written debrief he worked on while he was on the plane.

When he landed, one of your friends was there to drive him straight home, "they are both doing well so the doctor discharged them this morning, they watched the race at home already with your mum", she smiled, noticing his antsyness, "we'll stop by my place so you can have a shower and change clothes, and then you'll get to meet him. I know I'm biased, and you'll be too, but he's the cutest little boy ever", she smiled, reassuring him that everything was well underway and that they were being careful with the baby's health.

"Carmen, can I have some water, please?", Lewis heard you call for his mother as he walked through the stairs that led the garage to the living area of the house, seeing the older woman pour the liquid into a mug and bringing it to you along with a straw.

"Hey, look who's here!", you smiled, handing the mug back to your mother in-law when you finished sipping from it.

Lewis walked closer to you, rubbing his mother's arm before he kissed the top of your head, taking a peek at the bundle in your arms. Baby Noah has been sleeping against your chest, pillowy lips agape without another care in the world, but he seemed to stir as he felt his father's presence in the room.

"Someone wants to meet daddy", you cooed as Lewis sat next to you on the sofa, arms expectantly held out as you transferred the baby to his arms.

Taking the baby wrapped up in the beige blanket and placing him on his chest, Lewis let one of his hands rest on his son's back to hold him close.

"Hey Noah", he whispered, looking up briefly to see his mother and wife smiling at them, "You were slightly early, weren't you? Daddy wasn't here when you came earthside, and I'm very sorry for it, but now we have all the time in the world", he whispered, softly touching his cheek and moving to stroke his head, feeling the soft baby hair.

Noah looked up at him as tears filled his eyes, "I couldn't wait to get home to you and mummy. I'm sure a lot of people want to meet you, I got told that much in the paddock", he smiled at the beautiful boy in his arms. "It's ok", Lewis whispered as the baby started getting fussy, opening his mouth and squinting his eyes closed as he cried loudly.

A quick look at the clock made you suddenly reach your arms out for your crying little boy, "he's hungry, it's just about time", you nudged, cradling him to you and kissing his forehead.

"I'm going to go, dears, leave you in your newborn bubble", Carmen smiled, "if you need anything, and I mean anything, call me, okay?", she checked, kissing your head and Lewis' before squeezing her grandson's little hand softly, "goodbye, baby boy, behave well for mummy and daddy, okay?".

After she saw herself out, you undid the top buttons of your shirt, unfastening the bra cover so you could feed your little boy, "That's it, good boy", you cooed, feeling your husband's eyes on you.

"We watched the race, congratulations on your podium", you smiled, your hand squeezing your husband's thigh once you balanced your baby on the feeding pillow.

"Thanks", he breathed out, "I still can't believe he's here, that he's ours", he shook his head, "we have our little boy here with us.

"Thank you for doing this for our family, I'm sorry I wasn't here sooner", he expressed, kissing your lips softly as Noah whined, "daddy can't kiss mummy, now? Oh, this is going to be interesting!".

"Am I doing this right? I think I am", your heard your husband say to your son as you started to wake up, "looks secured enough. Hopefully we won't have any explosions and nothing comes out of here".

Your hissing while trying to pull yourself up announced you were awake as your husband turned his torso slightly to face you, "mummy is awake, little love", he beamed, finishing popping the buttons on your son's clothes so he was comfortable.

By the time you found a way to pull yourself up and against the headboard, Lewis was sitting next to you, ready to pass Noah into your arms so you could feed him, "are you still feeling sore?", he asked, kissing your cheek.

"It's not as bad as yesterday", you assured him while you moved your boob so Noah could latch, ignoring the sting as his lips met your sensitive skin, "my back feels fine, but moving my legs might be tricky still", you offered.

"The midwife said that would be expected, so we'll just keep an eye out for anything serious, yes?", your husband said as you took the opportunity to rest your body against his naked chest, his arm going around your shoulders and softly tracing shapes on your bare skin.

"Can you burp him while I use the bathroom?", you asked as Lewis as he got up, burping him while standing up as you slowly got up as well, waddling to the en suite bathroom.

"Are you going to sleep now, little one?", he cooed, rocking him to sleep once all of the air trapped in his tummy got out, "you have a clean nappy, full tummy, and daddy needs to go and make sure mummy is okay", he chuckled, "with time, you'll see it takes her a while until she asks for help even though she's usually been needing it for way longer".

"Lew?", you called from the bathroom, "yes, darling?", he called back as he knocked on the door softly, asking for your permission to look inside, "I need to have a shower, but I don't trust my legs to keep me up, and sitting on the floor is not a good idea so, like - do we even have a stool I can sit on? -, I need something to support myself on", you asked.

"Noah is asleep, I can leave him here, in the middle of our bed, keep the door open and help you with your shower if that's okay", Lewis offered, "if I look around, I might find something, but I'm not sure we own a stool that can be put in water".

Weighing your options, you waddled back to your boys, kissing Noah's forehead and looking up at Lewis, "you don't mind helping?", you wondered.

Lewis placed Noah on the bed, making sure he was in an angle where you could see him from the bathroom, "c'mon, shower time, darling", he soflty nudged.

He turned on the warm water as you undressed yourself, disposing the underwear safely in the bathroom bin and walking into the shower compartment, thankful that Lewis insisted you needed a wide and ample space for it as it now perfectly accommodated the two of you once he had no clothes on either.

"Is the temperature good?", he asked and you nodded. Your body didn't feel wrong to you, just new, and Lewis seemed to be on the same page, tracing your hips and tummy softly while you wet your hair.

By now, the routine was so engraved in your lives that Lewis knew which steps followed which, only stopping when you needed to support yourself on him, to steal a few kisses or take a peek of Noah.

"Now he's sleeping well", you muttered chuckling as you wrapped a towell around your body, accepting Lewis' hand as he took you to the bedroom, "I have your underwear ready with those witch hazel round pads to help with the soreness", he added.

Helping you put them on along with the rest of your clothes he gathered from the drawers, your husband left a trail of kisses anywhere his mouth was close enough to your skin as he dressed you, "how about a nap? Noah surely kept us up so we could do with some sleep", he smiled, pulling you to lie against his chest while you cradled your son against your own chest.

"I know, baby, I know", you gulped, grabbing the silicone covers for your nipples while bouncing Noah on your bent legs, "mummy is trying to make this better for both of us, hopefully this works", you tried, fitting the piece and pulling Noah to you, encouraging him to suck.

The specialist had told you that using the covers would help you in days where the skin was extra sensitive, but its continuous use could mean that Noah would have to work harder to get his milk in, leaving him to get more tired and eat less, ultimately making him drop his weight.

"Hey, darling, I'm back", Lewis called from the kitchen, opening and closing cabinets as he stored away the things he bought from the shop.

"In the living room", you croaked out, holding the tears that threatened to fall as Noah seemed to drift off to sleep, "ah-ah, baby boy, you have to eat more, otherwise you won't grow", you groaned, taking off the silicone piece and biting your lip as his lips made contact with your skin directly.

The tears you worked on keep at bay fell down your cheeks as Lewis walked inside the living room, "hey, darling, I - what's the matter?", he checked you over, sitting next to you as you looked up at the ceiling.

"It hurts, a lot", you cried, "the only way it doesn't hurt is if I have these on, but with them he won't eat, so I have to compromise that", you allowed him to wipe your cheeks, "what a great mother I am, talking about compromise when I am feeding my baby", you scoffed at your own words.

"Hey, it's okay to talk about it if it hurts, darling. I'm so, so sorry, I wish I could do something to take that pain away", he comforted, kissing your cheeks as he pushed your bodies closing together.

"I will rub the cream afterwards, and we can try the silver nipple covers, we haven't done that yet", he suggested, his hands tracing shapes on your skin and squeezing the area, hoping to distract you from the pain you were feeling.

"I'll put him to sleep, okay? You can go and freshen up, darling", Lewis said as he bounced Noah on his arms after burping him, giving you time to use the bathroom and get a little bit of fresh air.

After splashing your face with water, you lightly dabbed the towell on your face before walking to the kitchen, opening the door that lead to the back garden and standing in the sun for a few minutes.

It was easy to get lost. A lot of people, specially the ones who were brutally honest about the whole experience, told you that much. Not out of spite or because they wanted to scare you, but rather because they cared enough to tell you about all of it. It was easy to lose yourself because all your focus was on your baby. Truth was, if you lost yourself, your baby would end yo suffering, too, so the whole situation required balance. Right now, the sun rays hitting your skin seemed to tip the scales to an even line.

"He's asleep already", you heads Lewis say, baby monitor on hand hand and another one with a cup of tea for you, "here, beautiful", he offered.

"Everytime I look at his face, I can't believe we made him. Such a perfect baby, how is he ours? But, it's also a lot sometimes", you breathed out, letting go of the guilt that was consuming you and recognising that you could love your family unconditionally and still admit that things could get hard. One didn't override the other.

"It's okay to admit that", Lewis said, pulling you to rest your back against his chest, "but we'll go, day by day, see what it brings us. You're doing so well, Y/N, you've been so strong for our family", he smiled, kissing the top of your head, "will you let me take care of you now?", he wondered, guiding you back inside for a little pamper session.

"Your tummy really is troubling you, isn't it, little one?", Lewis said as Noah didn't seem to settle down, cries and whimpers leaving the little baby's mouth as he rocked him back and forth, "should we try those massages daddy was taught in the baby classes?".

Laying Noah on the changing table, Lewis unswaddled him before holding his legs, "first we go into frog mode", he chuckled, pulling the little legs into position before wiggling his hips and tummy, "the nurse in the baby classes said to wiggle a little, and apparently you are very flexible at this point, so you're like putty almost. It's a bit scary, but you seem to be doing better, right buddy?", he said, noticing he was passing some gas already and his whimpers had died down.

As you came out of your shower, you watched the replied on your son's face as the noise coming from his diaper confirmed the reason from his previous pains, "Oh, that was a big one!", you giggled, approaching your boys as Lewis grabbed a new diaper, "I'm on it!", he said, kissing your cheek and taking care of changing Noah.

"Do you want to go on a walk this afternoon?", you wondered, "I feel a little better ans I want to start being a little more active. Nothing crazy, but rather a nice way to leave the house", you suggested, being met with your husband's sparkly eyes, "of course, darling. I'll get him a new outfit, we're going to be matching!", he smiled as he noticed the colour pattern you were going for.

#lewis hamilton imagine #lewis hamilton x reader #lewis hamilton fanfic #lewis hamilton fluff #f1 imagine #f1 x reader #f1 fanfic #f1 fluff

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