#if this sounds wishy washy it’s because I’m still making up my mind | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

enhaheeseung · 2 years

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So as I said I would like to make a post as to why I’m thinking about deleting this account before like I said I was dead set on it but now I’m not sure but here are a few reasons for why I’m contemplating it

Number one Im really wishy washy one moment I’ll be so confident in a plot or a story but as I post it I feel like it’s not good enough or I could have done better than I start getting these irrational thoughts like it’s bad or embarrassing and finally I get to the point where I stop writing (hints my 40 drafts)

Another reason is feeling like I have to rush something out even though no one demands me to write and post for some reason I feel obligated or I’m gonna lose readers if I don’t like I said I know I’m the only one that feels that way buts it’s a big hindering point for me

Something else is when I don’t get many comments or asks I feel unimportant like I put a lot of time work and effort for little feedback which is once again all in my head cause you all are literally the best and even if I had just one follower that enjoyed my writing I’d continue for them cause the joy I feel when someone tells me that my writing makes their day is immeasurable

Also I really don’t have any friends on here like there’s no one that I talk to or have connected with and that plays into another on of my problems is that it may seem stupid but I miss my older readers not saying I don’t like my new followers just as much but it’s different when you kinda get to know someone and then they’re are just gone which also makes me feel like a hypocrite cause I’m literally thinking about leaving

Anyways it all sounds really ridiculous if you think about it I mean I just made this account to write but I didn’t know what others things I’d encounter here but the best way I can describe it is I feel lonely and I think that was one of the main reasons for my lack of motivation but I can’t blame anyone cause you all have lives going on and they don’t stop just cause someone posts a fic on tumblr

So those are the more app base problems that I have but as for life in general it’s been really tough all around when I made this account I was only part time but as months went by people from my job quit so I was able to pick up more hours and more hours means more money now typically forty hour jobs are the norm but for me it’s been really tough cause I got hired in October (the day before heeseung’s birthday lol hehe anyways) and my immune system is very weak so I was shifting between first and third shift till October so you could imagine what that was like and it’s still not that much better because of this I don’t eat on proper schedule cause I get home and im so tired I just fall asleep and miss dinner leaving only one meal a day which is lunch with all that being said I’ve lost a significant amount of weight and energy overall so I think that also has a lot to do with my mental status I’ve really just been completely out of it today I was just on auto pilot and it felt terrible cause I had no control over how I feel

I have a lot of emotional stress and family issues that are really bad but I will not talk about that here I typically take out my stress by working and doing things which is the worst way to cope cause my body can not take all the stress I endure nor my mind I’ll usually workout or work extra hard and push myself beyond the limit cause somehow that makes me feel hopeful and motivated to not give up it’s weird but it works

It’s also weird to talk about this here but I feel everyone deserves an explanation for why I feel like leaving

A big problem of mine I’m a huge people pleaser like to an extent that’s almost troubling so I always try my best to accommodate everyone and guess who that leaves on the back burner

And that’s a big problem cause I should always put myself first but I didn’t as I stated before I wrote two of my favorite stories “popcorn” and “angel” angel took ten hours while popcorn took about seven “train ride home” also falls into the category of works I made in just one day I was so excited to post them for everyone hoping it would get a good response and to please my readers at the expanse of me using my whole day off just to write one fic

Overworking has been my downfall since I can remember like I mentioned some time ago I work till the point of satisfaction I push myself to the limit to test myself even if I know I can do it I still have to put my body under some type of physical pain until I’m satisfied an example of this would be a few years ago I used to do sprinting I still do just not as often but I was so driven to beat my previous record that I was out till midnight I ran the same course too many times to count so many times I gave myself a cramp and still kept going I didn’t stop until I beat my record with a cramp and all

This leads me to my stubbornness I just can’t stop even with writers block I continually try to write stories that’s why I didn’t feel like taking a break was an option cause if I know myself I’d just go back and back time and time again in the past I mentioned taking breaks but I never really did I just didn’t post for awhile behind the scenes I was still in fact writing

After awhile I think the positive feedback really kept me wanting to post something about the notifications was almost like an addiction so I kept posting and posting till I eventually went through everything all my plots and idea’s poof gone but I still wanted to please everyone so I continued to post even when I felt it was sub par

I only have a few works I’m proud of but I still beat myself up cause they could have been better overall it’s just I don’t know how to explain it or what’s going on it even feels strange to me one minute I’m up next minute I’m down I think there’s a lot of things to attribute this to such as my lifestyle and just getting older but who really knows

Ultimately the biggest reason is I just feel like I’m not good enough I think that’s what it really boils down to unfortunately I know I’m way too hard on myself and it’s really not this deep but I can’t help it I wanted to share this with everyone to let you know that I really tried my best

And when my best isn’t good enough I can’t help but feel disappointed with myself I’m a perfectionist as well so that doesn’t help my situation in conclusion I’m having a mental battle with myself I think if I can get in tune with my body and mind I could come back stronger and better but as of right now that’s going to take all my effort I am currently working on all these problems I mentioned

Even though it was very tough for me to share my mind with the world it has also been healing and a great experience at times I’m glad there’s a platform for like minded people to meet without any judgement and hostility I’m greatful to everyone who has followed my tumblr journey all I can say is I love you all🤎

Sincerely your hee simp president

#feels a little better to say a few of these things #but as I mentioned saying how I feel is so fucking hard bro #i keep my emotions to myself for so long I don’t know how to let them out and that fucking sucks big man ass tbh🤣#if you made it to the end thank you for your time #once again I love you all so much🤎#the time I spent with everyone here was the absolute best just a reminder that you are all amazing all twelve hundred and fifty of you 🤎

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thegreatobsesso · 1 year

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Art and excerpt from the first chapter of draft 2, part 2

✨ taglist ✨ @avrablake @adie-dee @dontjudgemeimawriter @ryorine @thelaughingstag @winterandwords @afoolandathief @asomeoneperson @cedar-west @diphthongsfordays @lowslore

Callie POV

She stomped up the stairs and banged on the door, and when he opened it instantly, she almost regretted it.

“You’ve been pushing me, and pushing me, and pushing me,” he said, his voice raised dangerously, his Bennett-patience vaporized. “I’m right there, Callie, right at my breaking point. We might be stuck together, but I’m not your punching bag. Tell me why you’re doing this. No more mind games, just lay it out now, or get out of my face.”

She swallowed. He was leaning over her, a hand on the doorframe, taller than her, more powerful than her, angry, and she’d still never been more sure she was safe around someone in her whole life. He hadn’t hurt her that day and he wouldn’t now, either.

“You’re so fucking nice to me,” she said, forcing the words from her throat. “And I don’t deserve it and I don’t know how to deal with it and I don’t understand it, why are you so fucking nice to me?”

His expression softened a fraction; he squeezed the bridge of his nose under his glasses. “You make it hard,” he said wearily.

“I know, I just… I want you to hate me. You should hate me, why don’t you?”

“Would you be happy then?” he asked, like he really did wanna know the answer. “Because you’re getting closer. So you don’t like me being nice to you? The look on your face right now - I don’t think you like me being mean to you either, do you?”

Her throat tightened. “No.”

“Then stop trying to drive me insane.” There was the edge again, the way he articulated his words.

She nodded. “Okay,” she said quietly, her voice cracking.

“Oh for god’s-” He blinked slowly, shaking his head in disbelief. “Are you seriously gonna cry?”

“No,” she said, and then hid her face and started crying.

She didn’t want to. She wasn’t even trying to manipulate him anymore, it just happened. She never could control tears. A thread lit up across the bridge, the part of her mind that couldn’t be satisfied no matter what she did. It reached him and he felt it and understood it even through his own irritation.

“I’m sorry,” she choked between sobs. Words, sounds - all that was left.

“For what?” Bennett asked flatly. He was just leaning on the doorframe watching her now. “Everything, or the last five minutes?”

She sniffled. “I guess both.”

He was cracking under it; he wanted to be mad at her longer, but his ability wouldn’t let him. He stepped forward and put his arms around her. “Fine,” he said.

She’d have thought if she even came close to apologizing for everything, the moment might have been a big deal. Wouldn’t it have to take place when one or both of their lives were on the line, the stakes high, the world burning around them with nothing left to lose? Instead, no, she just came right out with it and he had to ask if that was what she meant and she gave a wishy-washy answer and that was that.

Stupid.

He gave good hugs though, even though he was still pissed. His long arms wrapped easily around her, like an octopus. “I’m sorry,” she said again, this time just to see what it felt like.

It felt alright, not as bad as she’d have imagined, not a thing that tore her apart on its way out.

“Is there any part of you that meant what you said?” he asked quietly, pulling back far enough to see her. “Because if there was-”

“No,” she said quickly, hugging herself. “I wanted you to do it, I told you to. I couldn’t take it anymore, the secrets. I wanted you to see what happened and I’d let you do it again, too. I swear.”

“You’re sure?”

“Bennett, if I felt like that I’d have thrown it in your face way before now. I told you to do it and you heard me.”

The knot her words made inside his head began to uncoil. “Okay,” he said. He put his hands on her arms, gently, a cease-fire. “We’re gonna start over tomorrow with a clean slate.”

She nodded, happy to do it. “I’ll try to be nice,” she croaked.

“Baby steps,” he said. “Maybe, first, try dialing back the intensity of your psychological attacks. You’re setting yourself up for failure if you expect to wake up tomorrow nice.”

It took her a second too long to sense sarcasm - he was joking with her. Already. Prepared to let go of the tension and be himself again. Maybe this was the only way to argue when you felt everything your enemy did, to be an endless fucking fount of understanding.

She went downstairs and slept on the couch.

#oc: callie #oc: simon #writing excerpt #original novel #writeblr #art #my WIP #the insuppressible callie ray #tw: language

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i-swear-this-is-for-homework · 3 years

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What are your thoughts on the ending of the green knight? Little disappointed with it.

Ahhh thank you, my anonymous hero, for giving me the opportunity to ramble about this movie. I saw it last night and I’ve been thinking about it pretty nonstop. Disclaimer before I get into this: I’m not a proper medievalist. I am, however, an English student with a focus on British literature, so I’ve read a few different translations of the original source material and studied it fairly in-depth.

That being said, my first reaction to The Green Knight was… well, that it’s not really Sir Gawain and the Green Knight. Which is fine! Mostly. Every movie adaptation changes things from the source, but this one changed so much, so drastically, that I can’t really think about it as the same story. In the original poem, Gawain is a good (if inexperienced) knight who consistently keeps his promises and retains his honor right up until the very end of the story, when he lies about the green belt and refuses to give it to his host, Bertilak. The storyline of the movie seems to flip this? Gawain doesn’t start off as a good knight, or even as a knight at all, and in the movie he consistently fails to live up to knightly virtues throughout his quest. However, at the end he succeeds where the original Gawain did not, and voluntarily removes the belt (after that memorable flash-forward sequence).

To me, this is a fundamentally different story from the original. And I’m not mad about the character changes! A movie has to create a self-contained character arc in a way that the anonymous Pearl Poet did not have to. So to me, the movie seems to present the story of someone who must learn to accept death. Death (and rebirth) is certainly a major theme in the original, too, but I’ve always interpreted the og poem as placing more importance on honesty, chivalry, chastity, humility, and shame.

So the movie is telling a different story, with different themes. With that in mind, I guess it could make sense to skim over the 3 days of Christmas games and the kissing exchange in the original poem. However, even if it does make sense, I’m mad about it because I really liked the Christmas games and the kissing exchange in the original poem. I would’ve swapped out Gawain’s existential flash-forward sequence for a few good kissing exchanges in a heartbeat.

That being said, with the story the movie seems to be trying to tell I’m not terribly mad at the ending? Maybe? I’m still conflicted. I suppose the problem is that the themes feel very confused to me. The strongest one I can latch onto is the inevitability of death/ the importance of embracing the natural cycle of the world. With that in mind, Gawain’s vision of the future could be his realization that his life will, eventually, end, no matter what he does in the green chapel. His decision to remove the belt and face the green knight without its protection can then be seen as an acceptance of death, and the decision to die with honor and dignity. I’m not unhappy with where his character arc ends up here, considering he’s been framed as a screw-up since the beginning of the movie, but I’m left repeating #notmygawain because this is, again, a fundamentally different character arc from the original story. Again, I understand why they changed Gawain’s character for a movie. I just don’t like the changes very much.

I’m also not a huge fan of the cliffhanger (although I did love the final “Green Knight” title card!) mostly because all elements of cliffhanger are removed if you’ve actually read the original poem (or even just checked Wikipedia). Like, we know that the knight doesn’t kill Gawain. It’s not a new story. Although? I suppose this version of it is. So who’s to say whether he dies or not? I suppose the cliffhanger could work in the context of this adaption because, if we’re going with the ‘accepting death’ theme (which I’m still not sure about!), the outcome of Gawain’s decision doesn’t matter as much as the decision itself. We’ve seen him drift around the kingdom for almost 2 hours, breaking chivalric code, lying to his host, and overall being a pretty self-absorbed knight who’s terrified of his own mortality. The decision to accept death and embrace honor is the culmination of a character arc and seems like a fitting end to the movie. But I do wish we had gotten to see Gawain work more towards this growth through the events of his quest, rather than simply achieve it through a flash forward in time.

And I still think they should have left in the full three days of Christmas games.

Overall? This adaption was beautiful. Dev Patel is hot. And, more importantly (to me), this adaption felt right. The blending of Catholic imagery with pagan Celtic influences, the weird vibes, the use of title cards and the vaguely disconnected adventures was fun, and it felt more “Arthurian” than any other round-table-related movie I’ve ever watched. But I’m still not entirely sure what the story was trying to say, or if it said it. If you’re going to deviate from the source material this much, it’s my opinion that you’ve got to do it for a clear reason, to make a clear point, not just to subvert audience expectation. I’m not quite sure what the point of these changes were, or how the ending of the movie revealed the movie’s core thesis. It felt a bit more like a “gotcha!” from the director than a genuine end to Gawain’s story.

But, I mean, at least Dev Patel was hot.

#if this sounds wishy washy it’s because I’m still making up my mind #but thank you for the ask!#I’m seeing the movie again tomorrow hopefully I’ll be able to decide what I think about the ending by then #at the moment I’m not sure whether I loved it or hated it #it was so pretty! Dev Patel is so hot!#but like… the Christmas games. why would you cut the Christmas games?#let me know what you thought! I am desperate to hear how other people view this movie #also let me know if y’all had different interpretations of the movies themes or even the themes of the original poem #I’m not an expert I’m just an overly thoughtful English major with a new obsession #the green knight #sir gawain and the green knight

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ramzawrites · 3 years

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Ok I have coffeed up 🦀🦀🦀

Could I request a fic about a Male Reader Border Collie Hybridbeing hired to look after the pets of the Syndicate while theyre at a meeting? Having to feed every single dog, Ranboos cat, Carl, the parrots, Steve the bear, etc? Trying to wrangle the foxes because theyre trying to eat poison potatoes, shooing zombies off the turtle eggs? -🌱🌟

The Syndicate’s Pet Sitter - BorderCollie!Hybrid!Reader

Male

Pairings: none

Characters included: Technoblade, Philza, Ranboo, Nihachu

Warnings: n/a

Series: A request for my beloved 🌱🌟<3

Summary: The Syndicate is meeting up early in the morning and didn’t have the chance to feed their pets yet. Luckily Y/N who lives there as well but isn’t part of the Syndicate can take care of them. And no that is totally not because Border Collies are good herding dogs.

Words count: 4732

Authors Note: I just noticed I missed the foxes oh no ;_; Why do the Syndicate have so many pets I swear! I hope you guys enjoy this! Esp you 🌱🌟 since you requested it! I also haven’t had the chance to properly look over it look for typos, I apologize! I’ll deal with that as soon as I can! Also thanks for the prompt 😌 I have a weakness for animals and dogs

The chest let out a strained creak as Technoblade closed it for what felt like the hundredth time. He was preparing for the next meeting of the Syndicate and this time he, as well as Phil, had actually planned a few things other than just showing the newest members where the headquarters were and setting up the rules for the organization.

While both men were busy running from chest to chest collecting materials and writing down information into books, they were accompanied by a soft rhythmic thud as well.

That sound came from Y/N. More specifically his tail swishing up and down as he was sitting in front of a window on the windowsill. Watching peacefully as the two went about their business.

Y/N was a Dog Hybrid. A Border Collie Hybrid to be specific. He has been technically living with Techno and Philza for a while now but Techno liked to act as if he was just some stranger to him.

When Y/N first came to the SMP Philza and Techno were the first people he met and ever since then he has gotten quite attached to them.

At first Techno tried to get rid off him, especially since he always gave him wishy washy answers concerning his opinions on governments but Y/N wouldn’t let himself get spooked off that easily and even begun building his own little home close to them without asking. At that point Techno had to accept defeat and let him begrudgingly stay.

Philza liked to poke fun at that fact but he also understood Techno’s caution. Though over time Y/N has shown to be a trusty ally that could keep secrets, even once leading people astray since they became dangerously close to their home. Because of that Philza brought once the idea up that maybe they should let Y/N join the Syndicate after all as well.

Of course Techno immediately shut down the idea for the simple fact that not once has Y/N ever clearly stated that he was against any kind of government. There was no point in arguing with the Pig Hybrid about this particular topic so Philza just dropped the issue altogether.

That said after Niki came over to join the Syndicate and Ranboo got roped in it as well, Y/N managed to at least learn of the name of the organization.

He even asked to join to which Techno just said “Prove to us you are an anarchist and maybe I will think about it.”

“So you are saying you just want me to tell you the things you want to hear in order to get in? Doesn’t seem that smart to me.”

Y/N would always pull out these snide remarks whenever that topic came up.

For some reason Y/N woke up early and found that both Philza and Techno got up early as well so he just let himself in, sat down next to the window and begun happily munching on some cold steak for breakfast.

Techno made a point of ignoring him only muttering something about a “damn mutt” under his breath while Philza was chuckling to himself. Y/N’s fluffy dog ears obviously picked up on it but the happy swags of his tail continued on, knowing that if Techno really was annoyed by him, he would have already intervened way back when he begun building his home.

Phil was rummaging through a chest, trying to find some extra paper only to suddenly stop moving and turn around to look at Y/N, his arms still in the chest.

“Y/N?” adding a whistle to ensure that he would gain his attention.

As a response the Dog Hybrid looked absolutely aghast “Did you just-? Did you just whistle at me? Did you, Philza, just whistle at me to get my attention? Like a dog?”

“Sorry, just kind of happened but since you are here I have a request for you.”

Now Technoblade stopped whatever he was doing as well to observe what was happening in front of him, curious what he was proposing. A smirk adorning his features knowing full well that Philza probably whistled on purpose seeing how Y/N was kind of an unwelcome guest right now.

“You can request but no guarantee I will fulfill your request, old man.” Y/N spoke through an exaggerated pout.

This only earned him a tired sigh from Philza “Yeah, Yeah. As you can see we are up early for a reason but this also means we didn’t have the chance yet to feed the animals. Could you feed them all and make sure they’ll be alright while we are gone? You know how this place can get with pets.”

“All? Like all the pets? Like you want me to feed all the pets and take care of them?” Y/N was obviously intimated by the idea of the task judging with how his voice jumped up an octave to the end of the question. But who could blame him. Over time the group managed to amass a comical amount of pets which included a full hound army, polar bears, turtles, cows, Carl the Horse and in Ranboo’s case even parrots.

That reminded him.

“Does that include Ranboo’s bird and cat?”

“Does what include my bird and cat?” Suddenly the door swung open as Ranboo stepped inside Techno’s home. Cramping up the small cabin even more. The cold winter air only managing to sneak in for a short moment before he made sure to close the wooden door again.

Techno chuckled “We are asking Y/N here to feed our pets while we are busy at our meeting and to make sure they are safe while we are gone. He has time after all.”

Y/N’s shocked expression turned to a frown. Oh they did that deliberately alright.

Ranboo took a moment to take in the scene before he slowly nodded “Oh, if that is the case then I would actually really appreciate it if you could take a look at my parrot and cat. I haven’t had the chance to feed them yet since I ran out of seeds for the bird. Actually the reason I came over here was because I wanted to ask you guys if you had some extra.”

Techno’s smirk was ever present on his face as he motioned with his hand towards his mass of chests “Somewhere in there we have some but I’m sure Y/N will find them and take care of your pets as well.”

“Would you?”

Ranboo sounded so genuine and almost surprised by this that Y/N couldn’t come up with a snarky response but instead he looked defeated.

“I- alright. I will take care of your pets while you do your stupid Syndicate meeting.”

“We trained him well, Techno.”

“That we did, old friend.”

Now Y/N’s happy tail wagging did finally stop and he jumped up away from the window, surprising Ranboo in the process “You didn’t train me! I’m not one of your dogs!”

He knew they were joking but he still couldn’t let that stand.

Philza stepped closer to Y/N and put one of his hands on his head between his ears. Giving a short pat only to remove his hand again “Yes, we know. If that was true you would be listening to us at all times. Anyways, I spotted Niki outside and we are ready, so, we’ll be going. Make sure nothing happens to the animals! We are putting our trust in you!”

Before Y/N could protest or retract his agreement the group made sure to leave the little hut as fast as possible. Ranboo was very confused but still followed the others outside to loudly greet Niki.

Y/N himself was so bewildered by this whole situation he didn’t even make the effort to run out to greet Niki as well. Instead his thoughts begun to swirl around his new responsibilities.

What do Polar Bears eat? How is he going to feed all of the dogs? By Ender he hoped that Techno had all the necessary things in one of his chests.

That’s when a stray thought hit him “Did they hire me as pet sitter because I’m a Border Collie Hybrid? Did they seriously make me the pet sitter because Border Collie’s are stereotypically good herding dogs?”

That thought had to set in for a moment as he was asking himself if this seriously could be the case and knowing them that might have very well been a thought that crossed their minds. They all joked around about their hybrid parts but this was just ridiculous.

He didn’t know how yet but somehow he will make sure that the damn Pig and the Birdbrain will get this back tenfold. Ranboo was okay in Y/N’s book since he mostly got pulled into this by the others but even then he was still on thin ice.

“I better get going.” He whispered in order to try to pull himself out of his thoughts.

First on the agenda were the Polar Bears. Mostly since he wasn’t exactly sure how to go about it and just wanted to get it over with but also one of the Bears was laying inside the hut. Snuggling close to the fire place.

That polar bear was Steve and Techno often made comments of him being his emotional support animal and at this point Y/N just believed him. With Techno who knew at this point.

Well what would Steve eat? Just some meat?

“Fish!”

How he didn’t immediately come to that conclusion he didn’t know but better late than never.

Y/N excitedly rubbed his hands together. Time to snoop through Techno’s things. No way in hell is he going to use his own resources to feed their pets. Hence why he begun looking through Techno’s chests. Taking note of things like stray armor, golden apples and enchantment books.

Somewhere in a corner he found some cooked fish. Should be fine, right?

Taking a couple of fish he moved over to Steve who was still lazily draped on the ground enjoying the heat from the fire. Carefully and slowly Y/N put down a couple of fish in front of his big snout. His dog ears pressed down on his head as he stared rigidly at the bear. Hoping for the best.

Steve’s black nose begun to twitch. He slowly opened up his eyes and lazily begun nudging the food closer to his snout with his big paw. Snacking on the pile of fish.

“Okay? I’m guessing that’s fine? I think?”

Just to make sure he still threw more fish towards him and then made his way with a second pile outside where Ed was waiting for his food as well. Ed was way more active and often enough obstructs the way up the stairs that lead to both Philza’s and Techno’s house.

Philza was always annoyed at Ed because of that particular reason. Though today he was a good Polar Bear that was sitting next to the stairs staring at Ender knows what.

Y/N threw him his pile of fish and watched for a second as he happily begun munching on them.

“Guess I’m doing alright after all.”

Almost as if to answer the bear suddenly begun to move towards Y/N which made him panic. Stepping back, trying to understand what he was doing now. Sure the bears are cute but also big and dangerous if they wanted to be.

But Ed bowed his head down and softly pressed his head against Y/N’s chest.

“Is this a thanks, buddy? Aw, no problem.”

Tentatively Y/N placed his hand on the bear’s head to give him one or two scritches. To which Ed then let out a deep puff of air through his nose and immediately moved back to his food to continue his breakfast.

All the Polar Bears are fed. Now only the whole hound army, cows, parrot, Carl the Horse, Turtles and Enderchest the Cat were left. Oh by Ender. That is still a lot.

Y/N immediately ran back into Techno’s hut and begun to search through his chests again. Grabbing things like Seeds, Sea Grass, more fish and some steak.

The parrot and cat were the easiest to deal with first so he decided to run into Ranboo’s house. Even if just to avoid the cold outside for a tiny bit longer.

He climbed down the ladder and found the parrot patiently waiting for him. Excitedly squawking as soon as he saw him.

Placing the seeds in front of the animal Y/N took a good look at the colorful bird.

“How are you doing? Keeping Ranboo company? Making sure he isn’t feeling too lonely?”

“Company! Company!” Ranbird answered in a shrill voice only to continue picking up the seeds off the ground.

Y/N liked spending time with Ranboo. He was a bit of an enigma with his memory issues and interesting behavior at points but Y/N loved hanging out with him. He would always try to offer to play pranks on Techno but Ranboo was too apprehensive about it, not wanting to make the scary Pig Hybrid mad at him.

The two had a bit of a running joke going on where both Ranboo and Y/N would call the other weird. Ranboo for his weird behavior and Y/N for the simple fact that he apparently didn’t fear Techno at all. Philza and Ranboo having to mostly hold him back before he could seriously upset Techno.

“Enderchest? Come here!” Y/N called out and continued to do the typical mouth noises to attract cats. Luckily he did come around a corner.

Happily meowing when Enderchest saw Y/N. Chirping as he pressed his body against Y/N’s legs.

“See, you are a kitty and I am a dog hybrid but we like each other.” Was he still a bit salty about the fact that they most certainly chose him to take care of the pets due to his Hybrid side?

Yes. Definitely.

Sure, no one else was there who could deal with it but on the other hand normally they were always so prepared for everything so this must have been planned beforehand. They didn’t feed the animals on purpose because obviously he was there and had time.

A loud meow pulled Y/N back out of his thoughts again.

“Sorry, Enderchest. You are right it’s food time.”

He then took out two fish and placed it in front of the cat who immediately put them in his mouth and ran off with them. Probably to eat in peace.

Next on the list was Carl. If Y/N didn’t make sure that Carl was absolutely doing alright and was fed Techno would kill him. And while Y/N liked to joke with Techno and pretend that he wasn’t as dangerous as everyone else is treating him like, he also knew that Carl is so important to him that Techno let him get himself kidnapped by the Butcher Army for the horse’s safety.

Technoblade hid his horse behind a wall but Philza one day accidentally found it. Y/N immediately took the chance to build an actual hidden entrance. He liked being a bit of an annoyance for Techno but if he can somehow help out, he will.

Pressing a button on the stone wall gave away to the little stable he and Philza made for Carl.

“Breakfast!”

Some Hay and other food was always ready for Carl so all Y/N had to do was put some of it in the tray and make sure he still had water. Everything seemed fine so Y/N took a second to pet him.

“No idea why Techno is so attached to you but you do seem like a good one. He protects you so you better make sure to not disappoint him as well.”

Carl neighed and nuzzled his nose into Y/N’s shoulder. Softly nabbing on the clothes which made the man laugh in return and softly shoved Carl’s face away from him.

“My clothes aren’t food, buddy!”

Luckily Carl didn’t continue to screw around and instead concentrated on his actual food.

The next pit stop were the turtles and cows. It was easy feeding them since you just placed down the food and then let them go about their day. No, the dog army would be a problem later. They might be war dogs but they were still playful dogs.

Y/N closed up the stable for Carl and made his way through the snow towards the cows first. Opening up a chest that stood close by. He placed it there a few days back with a ton of wheat. It was meant as way to help with the feeding. It was meant for the others since these cows didn’t belong to him but now he was stuck with the responsibility after all.

The cows were happily chewing on the food that Y/N threw into their enclosure and seemed to be doing alright as well so he moved on to the turtles.

For the turtles he actually had to get into the enclosure. Putting the kelp down near the water so the turtles inside the water could see him placing the food down as well. All the while he had to make sure to not accidentally walk on top of the eggs that some of these turtles have laid.

The animals themselves seemed to ignore Y/N. Just slowly crawling along the coarse sand or floating inside the water.

That’s when Y/N heard a groan from behind him. A groan he knew too well.

“Oh no you don’t!”

Y/N swiveled around and pulled out his netherite sword. A sword he made with the help of Philza. During his travels in the nether he found some ancient debris but since he never worked with that material he asked Phil for help. Which was also the reason why the purple sword was called Swordza.

“You helped me make it, I’m naming it after you.” He said to Philza’s dismay.

Right now though the reason why he turned around so fast was that he heard the familiar retching sound of a zombie. It was still early in the morning no surprise there that a loose zombie might be around the place.

Also no surprise that the zombie appeared around the turtle enclosure. For some reason they loved trampling down turtle eggs which was really just barbaric if you really thought about it. Beings that seemingly just wandered around the overworld with no goal but as soon as they spot turtle eggs they suddenly know exactly where to go. Well, besides when they find a human to attack.

The zombie limped towards the turtles.

Y/N didn’t wait long to react. He immediately took a running start and jumped over the fence. Striking down with his sword while he was landing, giving the attack a little more oomph. Together with the enchantments on the sword the zombie fell down into a burning mess. Gurgling sounds escaping it only to die down. A growl escaped Y/N’s throat as he stared at the dead mob.

“Nothing will happen to the little ones while I have anything to say about it!”

He took another sweeping look around the place but found nothing out of the ordinary. With a relieved sigh he put his sword back. The turtles were fed and safe.

Though as he looked around his eyes fell unto the hoard of dogs. All fenced in under a self-made roof. Most of the dogs were laying around either in a small pile or alone. Some were trotting around or even playing but it seemed like the dogs were still tired.

It was time to deal with them.

Y/N walked over to the dogs and as he stepped closer the animals immediately took notice of him. A few running over to him while others just patiently stared. As he got closer to the fence the nearest dogs put their front paws on the fence. Barking excitedly.

If Y/N went in like this some will run out and that was not something he wanted to deal with. There was still some adrenaline pumping through his veins from back when he spotted the zombie but he was still slowly beginning to freeze. Honestly he wanted to get through this fast so he can go back into his cabin and enjoy the warmth of his hearth.

Maybe even begin to plot on how to get back at the Syndicate for doing this to him.

But this wasn’t important right now.

Y/N let out a sharp and loud whistle “Away! Come one! Move out of the way!” He pointed to a corner and surprisingly the dogs seemed to understand that he wanted them away from the gates.

When he opened said gate the dogs patiently waited for him to move in and close it again before they suddenly begun to swarm him. Jumping up trying to lick his face or they began sniffing him out.

“Hey! Stop! I can’t feed you like that!”

He had a frown on his face but his tail was happily swinging from side to side as the dogs greeted him.

“Okay, stop! Sit!”

Luckily the dogs were well trained since they immediately sat down. Still panting in excitement and whining but now they weren’t trying to pull Y/N down to play with him.

In return Y/N got out the steaks out of his inventory and walked past the dogs. Giving each one of them their share. Whenever some dogs begun to scuffle over the food all Y/N had to do was to whistle or yell “Stop!” and they would listen.

Truthfully he feared that feeding the dogs would be the most difficult task of all the animals but as it turned out they listened to him rather well. It’s probably only because Techno trained them so well but still, maybe there is a way Y/N could use this power for himself.

It didn’t take long for Y/N to feed all the dogs but once he reached the last one the first dogs were already done eating and happily following Y/N around the fenced off area. Sometimes barking, hoping to get his attention. While his ears would always move in the direction of the barking dogs, he made appoint to concentrate on the dogs that he was actually interacting with.

Though when he was done he finally turned around to look at the happy dogs “You guys are needy, did you know that?”

As if to answer a dog right in front of him sat down and woofed at him.

Y/N rolled his eyes and knelt down, scratching that one particular dog behind his ear “You little pooch.”

That was a mistake. A huge mistake.

As he went down and balanced on the front of his feet the other dogs saw their chance as he went down to their height, practically jumping on.

Startled the Hybrid let out a yelp as the dogs pushed him on his back. Licking his face or tugging on his clothes.

He tried pushing the dogs away from his face but it he was unsuccessful. For every dog he pushed away two new dogs would try to jump into that new space. Sadly also pushing the dogs away seemed to be something fun for them.

At some point Y/N managed to get back up but still got swarmed by the dogs. All the dogs now in a happy playful mood after having eaten. Y/N could just tell them off but everyone on the outside could see that he had fun as well playing and tussling with the dogs.

Over time that tussling just became the dogs jumping into Y/N arms so he could throw them a few feet away while simultaneously trying to not fall down as some dogs begun tugging on his clothes again. The longer it kept going the more tired he got which was hi downfall. Quite literally.

He fell over again and while the dogs swarmed around him they too were getting tired and just laid down next to him. Framing his body or just straight up laying on top of him, one dog even snuggled up to his head, ending up more as a pillow for him.

At first Y/N tried to struggle against being buried alive by the animals but as soon as he noticed the warmth engulfing his body instead of the cold harsh wind he accepted his fate.

After all he was done with feeding the pets.

“Horrible. Techno would be proud with how relentless you all are.” A yawn escaped his lips which seemed to infect a few of the dogs as well.

It really didn’t take long for him to fall asleep. It was warm, soft and he felt safe.

The meeting for the Syndicate took longer than expected. They spent way too much time trying to find a common goal to start with. They didn’t want to do something huge at the beginning but start small, something that would test their cooperation and teamwork.

Though after they finally found something and started planning a few hours had past and since both Ranboo and Niki apparently had people to meet they had to stop the meeting early.

“You think the animals will be fine?” Ranboo asked Philza as they stepped out of their hidden headquarters.

The older man just waved off his question “Ah, they will be fine! We rag on Y/N often but we can trust him with things like these. He’s a good one even if he absolutely refuses to give Techno a straight answer when it comes to governments. I do believe he is only doing that to annoy him though.”

As the group approached their home again everyone took a good look around.

“Well, everything seems normal.” Techno noted.

Niki scowled “Aw I had hoped to see him. I couldn’t even say hello when I got here.”

That’s when Ranboo stopped dead in his track. He wanted to go home to get ready for Snowchester but something inside the dog pen caught his attention “Oh by Ender! There is an arm! The dogs have an arm!”

The other three ran over, confused with what the hell he was talking about only to see he was right. There was an arm sticking outside of the dogpile. Why did the dogs pile up in the first place though?

Out of nowhere Phil snorted and pressed his hand against his chest and mouth. Trying to stifle a laugh.

Niki still looked shocked and worried, confused with Phil’s reaction “What? Philza, why are you laughing?”

“Let me show you. Y/N! Are you awake, mate?”

At first nothing happened but then suddenly the arm moved and retreated back inside the dogpile. Now the others understood what happened.

Both Niki and Ranboo looked a bit embarrassed that they genuinely thought that these dogs might have ripped off an arm and were now cuddling with it.

Techno stayed stoic as always. Folding his arms in front of his chest, waiting for Y/N to properly react.

“Y/N, come on!” Phil called out again.

A muffled groan came from the pile of dogs and Y/N’s head appeared as he sat up “What?” He whined “I was having such a nice dream!”

“Oh my- Y/N! Good morning!” Niki greeted the Hybrid happily.

In response Y/N got a bit out of his furry burial but still pulled one of the ferocious war dogs closer to himself, hugging it. His tail now out as well showing the others his happy mood as he slowly drifted off again.

“Hello, Niki.” He sounded still half asleep. At least the others assumed since his face was buried in the dogs grey fur.

“Y/N please get away from my hound army. They are bred to fight and kill not for hugs and naps.” Techno grumbled.

“Then why are they so comfy and love me so much. They love me so much more than you” He made sure to drawl out the word “love” to really hammer that fact in.

“Let’s make Y/N then our go to pet sitter.” Phil noted.

This seemed to wake up Y/N, he immediately looked up with a scowl “No! I am not going to be your pet sitter! You put me in that role in the first place because I’m a Border Collie Hybrid, or am I wrong? If it’s true that’s seriously screwed up, by the way!”

Techno sighed “Yep, there he is. Now he is awake alright.”

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robininthelabyrinth · 3 years

Text

Light on the Door (ao3) (aka WWX in the Nie sect); tumblr: part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4

Wei Wuxian woke all at once when someone dropped something onto the floor, but he kept his body relaxed and his eyes closed. It was only when the smashing sound was followed by a very familiar muttering – “Shit, shit, shit, da-ge’s going to kill me!” – that he relaxed.

“How expensive is it that you think he would care?” he asked, opening his eyes and frowning when he found himself somewhere unfamiliar.

Nie Huaisang, who had been standing in the middle of the room and looking at the shards of a (admittedly very expensive looking) broken teapot with some dismay, promptly forgot all about the teapot and dashed over to him. “Shixiong! You’re awake!”

“You say that like it’s a surprise,” Wei Wuxian said, reaching up to rub his head. “Am I – wait, is this Jiang sect grounds? How’d we get to the Lotus Pier, of all places?”

The last he remembered, he and Lan Wangji had remained behind in the cave with the Xuanwu of Slaughter, distracting it while the others went out through the underwater exit, which had closed up when the Xuanwu had thrashed around. After a few days, when inedia would no longer help them and they knew their strength would begin to decrease, they had decided to fight it, and then…

“Is Lan Zhan all right?” he asked, abruptly concerned. “What happened to him? Did he –”

“He’s fine, you big baby,” Nie Huaisang said, throwing himself down on the bed next to him and promptly snuggling in for a hug. He had zero grounds to call anyone else a big baby. “He woke up two days ago and already left for the Cloud Recesses. He didn’t want to worry them any longer, and they need him, what with his brother still being missing.”

Wei Wuxian spared a moment’s thought for Lan Xichen, who was very nice and also a good friend of Nie Mingjue’s in addition to being Lan Wangji’s precious older brother, but reminded himself that there was no point in worrying when it wouldn’t do any good. That settled, he complained, “Oh, that’s rude! He left before making sure I woke up?”

“Oh, you woke up yesterday before he headed out,” Nie Huaisang said breezily. “You were sleep-drunk as anything, but you were awake and saying something about musical masterpieces. Possibly you might have started to say something about kissing, but tragically I was forced to gag you for your own health before Lan Wangji disintegrated from embarrassment.”

Wei Wuxian put his head in his hands. “…and so he left.”

“And so he left,” Nie Huaisang agreed. “Don’t worry, he left you a nice long letter to read when you feel up to it – and when I decide to give it to you.”

“Cruel.”

“Caring! You must think of your health, shixiong.”

“Shixiong this, shixiong that,” Wei Wuxian teased. “Were you worried about me?”

Nie Huaisang glared death at him. “Of course I was! Do you know what you put me and Jiang Cheng through?! We left you in a cave with that thing, we got ambushed by the Wen sect the second we emerged –”

“You did? Are you all right?!”

“Shut up, I’m fine, Jiang Cheng handled it,” Nie Huaisang said, which – fair. Wei Wuxian would have to give Jiang Cheng many relieved thank-you-for-saving-my-little-brother hugs. “We then ran for days to get someone to rescue you –”

It make sense. The Lotus Pier was closer than the Unclean Realm, and Jiang Fengmian had always been a little unreasonable about Wei Wuxian; it was a good bet to make.

Still, even if they’d travelled down from the Nightless City, they hadn’t gone that far, and the Lotus Pier was a long way away.

“Are your feet all right?” he asked.

“No! They are not! They are awful! There was blood! But not as much blood as we found all over you when we broke into the cave to find you lying there unconscious!”

Wei Wuxian resigned himself to spending the next shichen calming down Nie Huaisang from (admittedly somewhat reasonable) hysterics.

“So I’m worried about the Jiang sect,” Nie Huaisang said the second they crossed out of the Lotus Pier – by horse, since that required less from his torn-up feet.

Wei Wuxian looked at him sidelong. “And this wasn’t something you could mention while we were there? To them?”

“I’m not so stupid as to start a fight with our allies by implying that they can’t handle themselves,” Nie Huaisang said. “Even if…”

“Even if you don’t think they can?”

Nie Huaisang sighed. “It’s not that!” he protested. “They’re very capable. Extraordinarily capable, even. But Sect Leader Jiang doesn’t take things seriously enough – the way he tried to scold Jiang Cheng for lecturing you..!”

Wei Wuxian winced. He’d managed to head that off at the pass, luckily, but Jiang Cheng’s face had gotten that mulish expression of mixed envy and hurt that he hated to see, and it hadn’t cleared up until Nie Huaisang fainted in order to escape the awkward conversation. It was a trick he pulled often, one that worked on adults virtually all the time and also amused Jiang Cheng every single time.

“And he doesn’t take da-ge seriously, either,” Nie Huaisang said, sounding as if that were the worst possible crime imaginable. Wei Wuxian understood his feelings. “Not even after the indoctrination camp…I just don’t know if he’ll take the steps he needs to in time.”

“You’re right,” Wei Wuxian said regretfully. “Uncle Jiang won’t want to think about it, so he won’t, but that won’t stop the war from coming…Wait, hold up. You think the Wen sect would come here? Why?”

“I mean, it’s the logical next step to quash another one of the Great Sects,” Nie Huaisang said. “Also, remember that time I fainted from the heat and they took me inside the guardroom? I looked at some of their papers; they were definitely planning on a siege.”

“But why here?” Wei Wuxian asked, deciding to reserve comments on Nie Huaisang’s unexpected foray into espionage to a time when he could appropriately lose his mind over it, preferably with Nie Mingjue in the vicinity to add to the effect. “Why the Lotus Pier? Jiang Cheng wasn’t involved with sticking it to Wen Chao; that was Lan Zhan and Jin Zixuan, and then after that it was mostly me. No Jiang sect at all!”

“He helped later,” Nie Huaisang pointed out. “Anyway, where else would they go? They attacked the Cloud Recesses once already, Lanling Jin is so slimy and double-dealing that they might as well count as a Wen ally, and if you had to pick between attacking the Lotus Pier or the Unclean Realm, between wishy-washy old Sect Leader Jiang or da-ge, who’s been preparing for war since before you joined us, which would you pick?”

“Well, shit,” Wei Wuxian said, because Nie Huaisang wasn’t wrong at all. Nor was he wrong to keep this from Jiang Fengmian, who would probably just pat them on the head indulgently before dismissing them. “What’s the plan, then?”

“Shopping,” Nie Huaisang declared.

Wei Wuxian knew his little brother too well. He started grinning. “Just a couple of young masters going on a shopping trip? With a nice, small retinue?”

“We could hardly be expected to travel with anything less,” Nie Huaisang agreed, grinning back. “Especially with there being both of us, heir and spare! It would be disgraceful to send us out with anything less than at least a squad of Nie culivators. We could stay in Yunping, maybe? That’s not far.”

“Yunping? There’s nothing in Yunping.”

“Not recently, no,” Nie Huaisang said, and shrugged when Wei Wuxian shot him an inquisitive glance. “Personnel issue, someone da-ge met recently…not a big deal. I’m just curious about him, that’s all. I’ll tell you about it on the way.”

“I love how you just decide these things and then pretend that I have some input into how things are going to go before doing what you want anyway,” Wei Wuxian remarked. “I take it that you’ve contacted da-ge already, then?”

“Of course! Sent him a letter first thing once we arrived at the Lotus Pier. Are we going?”

“Yes, fine,” Wei Wuxian said, rolling his eyes. “We’re going, we’re going.”

“So, I think we can all agree that that went badly,” Nie Huaisang said. “Can we all agree on that?”

“Shut up,” Jiang Cheng said. His impression of being above it all was somewhat ruined by the tears still streaming down his face and the way he wouldn’t stop hugging them both intermittently.

“Listen, it could have gone worse,” Wei Wuxian said placatingly. “Right? Could have gone much, much worse. At least Uncle Jiang and Madame Yu made it out, and they’ll go crazy trying to find us.”

“Yeah,” Jiang Cheng said, and sniffed, rubbing his nose. “Yeah. That’s true. Thanks.”

Even with the best river-watching intentions in the world, the attack had come so quickly that they’d only shown up midway through the assault on the Lotus Pier, just in time to find Jiang Cheng tied up in Zidian and floating downriver, a sure sign that Madame Yu had given up all hope of maintaining a defense, and naturally they’d grabbed him and rushed in to help her.

A single moment of surprise had been all she’d needed to finish Wen Zhuliu.

Unfortunately, even two full squadrons of Nie sect cultivators – Nie Mingjue hadn’t stinted – couldn’t change the end result, not against the massed forces the Wen sect had brought with them, not even if they sold their lives into the bargain. It was only enough to hold them off for a little while.

At Wei Wuxian’s order, they had gone back in again and again, getting as many Jiang sect disciples out as they could. It’d been a good plan.

Getting captured hadn’t been part of the plan.

Getting thrown into the Burial Mounds was definitely not part of the plan.

Fucking Wen Chao. Just because his smarmy stupid core-melting servant got killed and he didn’t want to risk them returning as ghosts…

“Somehow, the possibility of it being worse doesn’t actually make me feel better,” Nie Huaisang said, scowling. He had the weakest core out of all three of them, so they’d given him the one blanket they’d managed to smuggle along with them – though technically, that had been Wen Ning who’d done the smuggling, actually, a Wen disciple that Wei Wuxian had befriended in the archery contest.

He’d apparently remained very sympathetic despite the war.

It would’ve been pretty funny, if anyone had been in the mood to laugh: Wen Ning had arrived to the Lotus Pier late in a panic, nominally to provide medical services, although Wen Chao had implied in a snarl that it was actually to claim credit for helping. He had stuttered his way through excuses and apologies, offered to go start work right away, and then promptly beelined straight for the room where they’d been trapped, sneaking them a qiankun pouch with a few supplies in hopes that they could use it when they escaped.

He hadn’t known that they were bound for the Burial Mounds at that time, of course.

Maybe he’d have included some weapons they could use to fly out of here if he had.

Wei Wuxian had whispered to him “Find a way to tell Sect Leader Nie,” as they’d been dragged away after hearing Wen Chao declare that he was going to dispose of them where they’d never escape, and he could only hope that between that avenue and the Jiang that they would be found soon.

Ideally very soon.

They were running out of protective talismans, and night was approaching.

“Still could be worse,” Wei Wuxian said, thinking to himself that if Wen Zhuliu hadn’t been garroted by Zidian they might have found their way here without even their golden cores. Definitely worse. “Okay. So. I have – an idea.”

“Oh no,” Jiang Cheng and Nie Huaisang chorused.

“…you two are so supportive.”

“It’s going to be a dumb idea,” Nie Huaisang said. “We can tell. Your tone of voice tells us.”

“He’s not wrong,” Jiang Cheng said. “It’s going to be dumb and self-sacrificing.”

“Dumb, self-sacrificing and with a less than fifty percent chance of –”

“Must you throw all my past failures in my face?” Wei Wuxian said mournfully.

“Yes,” they both said.

“…fine. I’m still going to do it.”

“We never doubted that for a moment,” Nie Huaisang said. “Now tell us what heart failure we’re going to be dying of today.”

“Well…” Wei Wuxian said.

“I think I’m hallucinating,” Wei Wuxian announced. “It may be the resentful energy going to my head.”

“Nooooo,” Jiang Cheng said. “You think?”

“Could be the reduced rations and extended inedia,” Nie Huaisang said, looking very tragic. “Or maybe these sad excuses for potatoes we’ve been picking.”

“I am never eating wild-grown potatoes ever again in my life,” Wei Wuxian agreed fervently. “But also, no, seriously, I think I’m hallucinating, which we should write down as a possible side-effect of demonic cultivation.”

Jiang Cheng groaned from where he was lying on his back and staring up into the ever-clouded sky above the Burial Mounds. He’d gotten tired of the writing-things-down portion of the experimentation process early on, especially when they’d had to carefully unbind the one book Wen Ning had (rather inexplicably, but helpfully) shoved into the bag for them in order to get enough paper to do it after they’d run out of space on Nie Huaisang’s fans.

“We have to keep notes!” Wei Wuxian insisted.

“Fine, fine,” Nie Huaisang said. “What are you hallucinating?”

“Suibian,” Wei Wuxian said. “Flying right at me. From the northwest, if that’s relevant.”

“It is extremely relevant, actually,” Jiang Cheng said, sitting up. “Because it’s not a hallucination if I see it, too.”

Jiang Cheng was their control group, insofar as they could have a control when they were all stuck here being slowly consumed by the Burial Mounds. He and Wei Wuxian were about evenly matched in cultivation strength, so it only made sense for one of them to try demonic cultivation and the other not, and then Nie Huaisang had also started doing it, over Wei Wuxian’s protests, when they’d realized that they needed two people for some of the arrays Wei Wuxian invented.

So if he was seeing things as well, that either meant that the Burial Mounds were affecting them faster than expected, or else –

“Wait, you can see Suibian too?” Wei Wuxian jumped up to his feet. “Suibian! Suibian! Over here!”

“Wait,” Nie Huaisang said. “We don’t know how Suibian will react to demonic cultivation –”

Oblong meat boy! Suibian shouted in Wei Wuxian’s brain across their bond, familiar and perfect as always, descending like a whistling arrow. You left me alone! With evil people!

Wei Wuxian leapt up as high as he could and wrapped his arms around his saber. “I’m so glad to see you, you jackass of a saber!”

Apology accepted.

“Is he talking to his saber?” Jiang Cheng murmured to Nie Huaisang, who nodded. “I know he told us about the whole Nie sect cultivation thing - which I understand I shouldn’t know about, but whatever - but I’ve got to say, it’s kind of weird to see it happening out loud.”

“You think that’s weird? You should see my brother and Baxia.”

“How did you get out?” Wei Wuxian asked, ignoring them both.

Baxia tore open the wall where we were being kept, Suibian said, which probably meant that the war was going well and also that Nie Mingjue was on the warpath and very likely that Wen Ning had not managed to deliver the intended message, which would explain the delay in anyone finding them. Baxia’s master gave me energy and told me to go find you, while he followed behind.

“Da-ge’s coming!” Wei Wuxian shouted, and Jiang Cheng and Nie Huaisang dropped their supercilious commentator façade in order to cheer.

Hey, jerkface master. Why do you feel funny?

“…uh, about that…”

#mdzs #wei wuxian #nie huaisang #jiang cheng #my fic #my fics #light on the door

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knuffled · 3 years

Text

Just Practice - Chapter 17

here’s the ao3 link

The hospital garden was nestled along the northern side of the building and overlooked a small pond. Perhaps it was too generous to call it a garden. In reality, it was only a few flower beds of orchids and lilacs stowed carefully in terracotta pots. When the weather was nice, the patients would often spend some time there on the benches to get some fresh air. It wasn’t much but it definitely beat being cooped up in a hospital room with that stale, sterilized air that always made her feel more like a laboratory specimen than a human being.

After her surgery, Annabeth was allowed to visit the garden provided she went in a wheelchair to avoid agitating her knee. The doctor’s initial diagnosis had proven to be accurate once they ran some imaging tests on her: it was, in fact, a torn ACL. Annabeth had suspected as much, and she opted to get it operated on sooner than later. The surgery had gone quite well, actually. She had been lucky enough to only suffer a partial tear, according to her doctor. If she had suffered a complete tear, it could have possibly made both surgery and her subsequent recovery much more difficult.

Nonetheless, Annabeth didn’t feel particularly lucky. Honestly, in the week that she spent at the hospital, she hardly felt anything at all. Just numb. Her physical therapy sessions were the only things she had to look forward to in order to get her mind off of things. Otherwise, she was mainly stuck confined to her bed with her leg suspended in that god awful brace. Piper had brought her some novels to occupy her time, but Annabeth couldn’t be bothered to pay attention to anything she read.

Today was the first day the weather had been clear enough to head outside, and Annabeth had jumped at the chance to get out of her stuffy hospital room as soon as she could. She sat outside staring at the pond with her brain turned off, watching ducks glide across the water’s surface and preen their feathers.

Within another day or two she would be discharged from the hospital and would have to head back home, but she really didn’t want to. Her father had dropped by the day after her injury, but his visit was practically a formality. He had stayed for all of five minutes, only making sure she wasn’t dead really, before he left. On top of every other shitty thing that had happened to her recently, his visit only served to rub salt in the wound.

Sometime mid-afternoon, one of the orderlies told her that she had a visitor. Annabeth had been expecting Piper or Jason, but she was surprised to see Reyna approach her instead.

Reyna gave her a small wave, her hand hidden in the sleeve of her purple sweatshirt. “Hey.”

“Hey,” Annabeth said, blinking. “Fancy seeing you here.”

Reyna shifted on her heels. “I’m not intruding am I?”

“Funnily enough, my schedule is quite free these days,” Annabeth said lightly.

That managed to get the corner of Reyna’s lips to tug upwards. “Glad to see your injury hasn’t done anything to change your god-awful sense of humor.”

“It’s quite bad mannered to bully the infirm, you know,” Annabeth sniffed.

Reyna rolled her eyes and sat down at the bench beside Annabeth. “How’s your leg doing?”

Annabeth sighed and said, “It’s recovering. Just got surgery done a few days ago.”

“Surgery?” Reyna frowned.

Annabeth nodded. “Turns out I tore my ACL.”

Reyna grimaced and said, “Jeez, I’m sorry to hear that.”

“The doctors said that I’m lucky it was only a partial tear,” Annabeth said, smiling weakly. “But I don’t feel particularly lucky.”

“D-Did they say anything about how long it’ll take for you to make a full recovery?” Reyna asked hesitantly.

“They were pretty wishy-washy about it,” Annabeth said, shrugging. “Guessing they don’t want to be liable for being wrong. Only estimate they gave me was that I could walk normally in about two weeks or so. After that, depends on how well I respond to physical therapy.”

Reyna was silent for a while before she said, “Meet me at the college circuit someday. I’ll be waiting there for you. And then we can finally settle things.”

Annabeth picked at the hem of her shirt with a wan smile. “What’s there to settle? I haven’t beat you a single time. There’s a clear winner here, and it sure isn’t me.”

“You of all people should know you’re only as good as your last race,” Reyna said. “People in our sport can never afford to rest on their laurels.”

When Annabeth was silent, Reyna quietly said, “You look like you’ve already given up.”

Reyna’s words stung and made Annabeth recoil. “I’m sick of giving myself false hope.”

“The way I see it, hope has nothing to do with it. The only question is if you still want to try. If you still want to compete, then you’ll keep pushing until you find a way through,” Reyna said, shrugging.

“Now, I’m not here to tell you whether you should keep going or not. That’s up to you. But don’t hide behind hope as an excuse. If you want to stop, then own it.”

Annabeth stared at her lap for a while and said, “I- I don’t know. I need more time to think about it.”

Reyna nodded and said, “I don’t blame you. It’s a big decision.”

There was another pause before Annabeth cleared her throat and said, “I never got a chance to apologize. For what happened at the meet, I mean.”

Reyna furrowed her brow. “What is there to apologize for?”

Annabeth dug her fingernails into her palms. “I cost you the race. If it weren’t for me, you would have won state and placed nationally.”

“From what I recall, a certain someone was screaming at me to let her go because I was, and I quote, ‘throwing the fucking race’,” Reyna said dryly.

“Sorry about that,” Annabeth mumbled.

Reyna gave her a smile and said, “You have nothing to blame yourself for, Annabeth. It was my choice to stay and help you.”

A lump formed in Annabeth’s throat. “But why though? Why did you help me?”

“I already told you,” Reyna said, mock-exasperatedly. “Because we’re friends.”

“And that was enough of a reason?”

“There are more important things than high school cross country races, Annabeth,” Reyna said simply.

Annabeth bit her lower lip and struggled to wrap her head around Reyna’s answer. They were friends, but not so close that it made sense for her to abandon the championship for her sake. Maybe Reyna was just like that with people she deemed friends or perhaps it was just a decision made in the heat of the moment.

“And you don’t resent me or anything for it?” Annabeth asked.

“Not one bit,” Reyna said firmly. “I would do it again if I had to. I’m sure you would have done the same for me.”

“You think too highly of me,” Annabeth said quietly. “But thank you.”

Reyna raised an eyebrow and said, “So you would have left me lying in the mud with a fucked up leg just to a win a race then?”

Annabeth paused and said, “Well, when you put it that way, I suppose not.”

“See? Told you: there are more important things,” Reyna said, smiling. “Besides, I don’t want you using your injury as an excuse for when I inevitably kick your ass.”

That got a watery laugh out of Annabeth. “I’m just glad you don’t hate me.”

Reyna rolled her eyes fondly. “Of course not.”

Annabeth hid a smile and stared up at the clear, blue sky for a while before something occurred to her. “How did you know where to find me?”

“Percy told me,” Reyna said, shrugging.

Annabeth furrowed her brow and said, “You have his number?”

“No, we just happened to run into each other somewhere, and I got a chance to ask him.”

Annabeth’s heart beat faster in her chest. “D-Did he say anything else to you?”

Reyna shook her head. “No, but he looked like a mess though. Did something happen?”

Annabeth nodded and felt a lump form in her throat. Slowly, she told Reyna about everything that had unfolded after she had left her with Percy. Reyna listened quietly and intently the entire time that Annabeth spoke, but Annabeth couldn’t tell what she was thinking.

Annabeth finished by saying, “I know I shouldn’t have cornered him like that just because I was so angry about my knee, especially the whole confession thing, but at the same time, I can’t help being frustrated that he still refused to open up, right to the very end.”

When Reyna was silent, Annabeth looked at her and said, “You once said that you thought he lied all the time about how he felt and what he wanted. Is this what you meant?”

“Not exactly,” Reyna admitted. “I thought it was something more malicious, but after seeing how he is around you, it’s obvious how much he cares for you.”

“If he does,” Annabeth said softly, “it’s not in a way that I understand.”

“You’re not alone in feeling that way, I would imagine,” Reyna said. “We all have different ideas of what it means to love and be loved, and sometimes those ideas don’t match up.”

“And there’s nothing we can do about that then?” Annabeth asked.

Reyna shook her head. “No, it just means you both need to talk to about your needs. It’s not wrong to teach someone how to love you the way you need them to.”

“I would if he bothered to listen,” Annabeth said tersely.

“Really? From what you’ve told me about him, he seems to listen to you a great deal,” Reyna said, sounding surprised.

Annabeth worried her lower lip and hesitantly said, “I mean, yeah, I guess that’s accurate. But there’s still something that gets in the way, and I don’t know what it is.”

“I said this before, but it seems like he’s holding something back,” Reyna said. “Not in the way one hides secrets, but in the way you shoulder a burden, quietly and without complaint. Maybe it’s just that over time that weight has become too much to bear.”

Reyna’s words instantly struck a chord in her, even though she hadn’t fully processed them yet.

A wry smile danced on Reyna’s lips. “Reminds me a lot of my sister. Something about how sad their eyes look.”

Annabeth blinked in surprise - she had always pegged Reyna as an only child. “Wait, you have a sister?”

Reyna nodded and said, “Yeah, seven years older than me. Her name’s Hylla.”

She looked like she had more to say, so Annabeth remained silent and watched her. Reyna buried her hands in the pockets of her sweatshirt and stared up at the sky with a sigh.

“My dad was a physically abusive piece of shit growing up, so much so that my mother left him. Unfortunately, she didn’t bother to take us with her, for whatever reason, so we had to fend for ourselves. As the older sibling, Hylla took it upon herself to protect me until she was old enough to move out and take me with her,” Reyna said.

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry to hear that,” Annabeth said quietly.

“It’s whatever. We’re fine now, for the most part,” Reyna said, shrugging. “But sometimes I can tell that it still eats at Hylla. It wouldn’t be that big a deal, but she has a hard time opening up or putting herself first. Over the years, I’ve tried my best to help her through it, but it’s something she still struggles with.”

“Eventually, I realized that there was really nothing I could do,” Reyna said, pursing her lips. “So instead I swore to myself that I would be open and straight-forward about everything, in the hopes that maybe if I could show her there was another way, it might change something. And who knows, maybe it’s all for nothing, but at least I am being true to myself and honest about what I want.”

Reyna traced the lines on her palm and swallowed thickly. “But it’s really tough. People think it’s easy and assume nothing scares me but they’re wrong. I’m terrified, like all the time, but seeing how much it tears away at my sister, keeping everything locked up inside, I— I don’t ever want to live that way.”

“I think you’re amazing,” Annabeth said softly. “I can’t begin to imagine how much courage that takes.”

Reyna gave her a smile and said, “Thanks. That means a lot.”

Annabeth shook her head. “I should be the one thanking you, for sharing all of this.”

“It’s no problem. I only brought it up because your situation reminded me of my sister and I. Maybe I’m totally off base about that, I don’t know,” Reyna said.

“No, um, it was definitely helpful,” Annabeth said.

Reyna took Annabeth’s hand and gave it a squeeze. “You still look conflicted.”

Annabeth laughed breathlessly and shrugged. “I-I don’t know. I guess I’m still having a hard time accepting that we’re even in this situation. It just hurts to find out that I didn’t know him anywhere near as well as I thought I did.”

“Why does that have to hurt?” Reyna asked. “What is it that troubles you so much?”

Annabeth had to pause and really think about Reyna’s question because nothing immediately came to mind. It was only now that she realized that it was actually kind of strange that she was so distraught about this to begin with. It wasn’t like there was anything particularly awful about the situation. After all, this sort of thing was totally common, but it still seemed to profoundly unsettle her all the same. She was just having a hard time understanding why that was the case.

“It’s hard to say,” Annabeth admitted. “I think it’s because Percy’s the only person in my life that I have ever truly been able to rely on, and finding out that I don’t fully know him scares me. If I don’t know him, utterly and completely, then how can I count on him? It just makes me feel really insecure, like this is all a house of cards that could come tumbling down at any moment.”

Reyna sighed and said, “I don’t know. I just think knowing someone is a pretty impossible standard to set for yourself.”

Annabeth furrowed her brow. “What do you mean?”

“Well, in my experience, a person isn’t something to be known like a fact in a book,” Reyna said. “The human heart isn’t something quite so definitive. A person is always ever in the process of unraveling, constantly revealing themselves moment by moment, piece by piece. None of us ever really knows one another, but that doesn’t really matter. What matters is the effort we make to know one another, not whether we succeed. That’s all that love is: finding someone that you make the effort to know, to discover and rediscover, over and over again. And they do the same for you.”

“But then how can we ever trust anyone?” Annabeth asked desperately.

“You take a leap of faith,” Reyna said simply. “I wish I could say there was some trick to never having your trust broken but that’s not possible. Trust, by its very nature, is a brittle thing, but that’s also what makes it worth anything. The only reason trust holds any value at all is because it is something that needs to be earned.”

Reyna’s words made Annabeth recall what Percy had told her atop Aspen Peak. She hadn’t fully understood what he had meant at the time, but now she realized that there was a power to vulnerability that she didn’t know existed. It was a paradox but only by opening herself to heartbreak could she ever find what she was looking for: something permanent.

Annabeth managed a half-smile and said, “Percy told me it was like letting someone touch your heart with their hands and praying they didn’t crush it between their fingers, but that it was something we needed to do anyways.”

“That’s a pretty good way to put it,” Reyna laughed.

Annabeth sighed and said, “Would be nice if relationships weren’t so fucking complicated.”

“Agreed,” Reyna said, yawning. “I should probably get going. It’s getting late.”

Annabeth nodded. “Thanks again for visiting me and for the advice. It was really helpful.”

“And thank you for listening,” Reyna said, smiling.

“I hope someday I’ll be able to live as strongly as you do,” Annabeth said.

“You already live that way,” Reyna said, shrugging. “You just doubt yourself too much.”

Annabeth worried her lower lip and nodded. “Yeah, maybe you’re right.”

Reyna offered one final smile and said, “Guess I’ll head out then. Keep me posted about your leg and everything. When you can walk, we should hit up the batting cages again. Take your mind off things.”

“I’d like that,” Annabeth smiled.

“See you later, Annabeth.”

“You too, Reyna.”

Annabeth watched and waited for Reyna to leave before she sighed and headed back inside the hospital herself. She felt lighter for the first time in weeks. Reyna’s advice stuck in the back of her mind, and Annabeth took some time to digest it. She had a feeling it would help her figure out her path going forward.

:::

Piper came to pick her up on the day she was discharged from the hospital. By then, Annabeth could walk with the help of a brace that helped keep most of her weight off her knee, but she could only walk for a few minutes or so at most before the strain piled up and became too much. Piper leaned against the side of her car and watched Annabeth hobble over before she rushed in and gave Annabeth a hug.

“Didn’t realize you were so happy to see me,” Annabeth joked.

“Shut up,” Piper mumbled against her skin. “I’ve been worried sick about you.”

Annabeth swallowed thickly and whispered, “Thanks, Pipes.”

Piper pulled away and offered a gentle smile. “Ready to go then?”

“Yep.”

Piper opened the passenger’s side door for Annabeth and waited for Annabeth to take a seat before she did so as well. Annabeth rolled down the windows and relished in the late April breeze when it flowed across her face. Piper started the car and turned the radio on before she pulled out of the hospital parking lot and onto the interstate.

Once they were on their way, Annabeth turned to Piper and said, “You’re still okay with me staying with you right? I complete get if that’s not an option anymore.”

“No, you’re totally fine,” Piper assured her. “It’ll be nice to have some company. Besides, my place is too fucking big for only one person.”

“Your dad’s still away on a shoot then?” Annabeth asked.

Piper shrugged. “Probably. Didn’t bother asking.”

Annabeth nodded slowly and turned back to the window, but Piper looked at her and said, “Your parents aren’t going to flip out about this right?”

“Oh, I’m sure Helen will kick up a fuss, but that’s kind of par for the course,” Annabeth said.

“I’m all for it and everything, but have you really thought this through? I mean, leaving your family is a huge decision,” Piper said.

Annabeth gave her a significant look and said, “In all the time you’ve known me, when have I ever not thought things through?”

“Alright, fair point,” Piper admitted. “I’m still worried though.”

“I was going to have to leave for college anyways. This is basically only moving up the schedule. Besides, I’m pretty sure they’ll be glad to finally see me gone,” Annabeth said.

Piper grimaced and nodded. “I wish you didn’t have to go through all this. Especially now, with your leg and all.”

“It is what it is,” Annabeth said, shrugging.

They drove along in silence for a while before Piper glanced at her again and said, “I, uh, wanted to ask you about something unrelated.”

“Fire away.”

“I’m not sure if you know anything, but Percy has been acting really strange lately,” Piper said. “I’ve tried asking him about it, but he just smiles and says that it’s nothing.”

Annabeth sighed. She had been expecting this, but it was still rough now that it was finally here. Slowly, Annabeth began to explain the whole fake dating arrangement from the start of the school year and everything that had happened since then, culminating in their confrontation after her injury. Piper didn’t say so much as word, but Annabeth noticed the way her fingers tightened around the steering wheel so hard they drained of blood.

When she was done, Annabeth watched Piper with bated breath, waiting for the worst. Piper just exhaled forcefully and said, “Christ, what a mess.”

“I know,” Annabeth said mildly.

“So this whole time, you guys weren’t actually dating then? You were just lying about it?”

Annabeth hung her head and said, “Yeah, pretty much.”

Piper was quiet for a moment before she shook her head incredulously. “I mean, I knew something was up with how jittery you were about the whole dating thing, but I never expected this.”

“I’m sorry for not telling you sooner,” Annabeth said. “I was afraid you’d be mad at me.”

“Oh, I am mad at you. Furious, actually. But I’m equally as frustrated with Percy. As bad an idea as it was on your part, he should never have accepted. He knows better,” Piper said, fuming. “A pair of idiots, the both of you. What were you both thinking?”

“I’m sorry,” Annabeth said.

“Well, what’s done is done, I guess,” Piper sighed. “Honestly, maybe this what the both of you needed. Maybe now you’ll finally sort out your relationship.”

“Or maybe this is the end of it for good,” Annabeth said wryly.

“Love the optimism, babe.”

Annabeth huffed a laugh and said, “I’ll try my best to fix this, but I don’t know if I can.”

Piper was quiet for a while before she said, “Give it another shot. Maybe things will be different now that he’s had time to think about all this on his own too.”

“Yeah, you might be right,” Annabeth said.

There was another pause before Annabeth said, “You’re not gonna rescind your offer to let me crash with you, right?”

Piper snorted and said, “I have half a mind to, but I won’t. As stupid as you are, you’re still my best friend, and I’m not going to turn my back on you.”

“I don’t appreciate the insult, but thank you,” Annabeth said, smiling.

Piper glanced at her and jabbed her with her elbow. “Don’t look so happy with yourself or I might change my mind.”

“What, I’m not allowed to be happy that you called me your best friend?” Annabeth asked innocently.

Piper rolled her eyes and said, “Don’t try and schmooze your way out of this, you know what you’ve done. Especially, after that whole spiel about how you always think things through too.”

They pulled up in front of Annabeth’s house, and the brief levity in the air dissipated immediately. Annabeth set her jaw and took a deep breath, but her heart still beat faster in her chest anyways. Piper gave her a look of concern and squeezed her forearm.

“You sure you don’t want me to come with?” Piper whispered.

Annabeth shook her head. “No, this is something I need to do alone.”

Piper nodded but she still looked worried as Annabeth steadied herself and stepped out of the car. She hobbled to the front door and stepped inside with the spare key hidden beneath the flower pot. It was quiet inside the house, but the cars were still in the driveway so her father and step-mother had to be home. Annabeth pursed her lips and made her way upstairs to her room.

There was a suitcase hidden in her closet, and she pulled it out and opened it on the floor of her bedroom. She packed as many clothes as she could inside and stuffed her laptop, charger, phone charger, and water bottle inside her backpack. Once she was satisfied that she had everything prepared, she sat on her bed with a sigh.

Annabeth took a look around the room and felt a sudden rush of nostalgia wash over her. This was probably the last time she would ever come here, she mused. It was littered with all sorts of knick knacks and photos, posters and sketches. As much as she hated living in this house, this was the only place she could call her own. Leaving it almost felt like killing a part of herself off. Her step-mother would turn it into a storage room or something once she was gone, and soon there would be no trace that she had ever lived here. Something about that hurt, even though Annabeth knew it was for the best.

She stood up, feeling more than a little melancholy, and steeled her heart. There was still one last thing she needed to do. Annabeth put her luggage in the hallway and tentatively stepped into her father’s study. Thankfully, he wasn’t there. She riffled through the drawers of his desk in search of the old brown briefcase he stashed old letters in. It was always weird to her that he just kept letters, but he said he liked to have records in case companies tried to swindle him out of money. It was hidden away in some dark corner, and she dumped the contents onto the carpet.

There were hundreds of envelopes so it took her some time to sift through them all, but a few minutes later Annabeth’s worst fears were confirmed. There was an unopened letter addressed to her from Berkeley, dated October 4th.

That wasn’t the worst of it however.

There was another letter from Stanford. Northwestern. Duke. Cornell. Dartmouth. All dated from late September to early October. All unopened.

Annabeth had always felt something off about the fact that her Berkeley letter never reached her. She had dismissed it as a fluke but during her stay at the hospital it occurred to her that there could have been a more malevolent explanation. Seeing the letters now only confirmed her worst suspicions, but the sense of betrayal still hit her harder than she had anticipated.

She snatched the letters and stormed downstairs, as quickly as she could with her brace. Her father and step-mother were in the living room watching the news.

Helen blinked in surprise and said, “Annabeth? I didn’t know you were home from the hospital.”

Annabeth ignored her and held up the envelopes, her hands trembling. “What’s the meaning of this?”

“You’re going to have to be a little more specific, dear,” Helen said mildly.

“These are college letters. Addressed to me. Why did no one tell me?” Annabeth asked.

Helen shrugged and said, “I didn’t think they were important.”

Her excuse was so bad, it actually made Annabeth’s head hurt. “How could you not think that those might be important to your step-daughter, a senior in high school?”

A gleam of irritation flashed in Helen’s eyes. “You have been getting letters since junior year, and they always just asked you to apply, so I thought these were more of the same.”

“Let’s pretend for a moment that your terrible excuse is valid - you still should have shown me these,” Annabeth said.

“You’re still a child. Talk to your parents with respect,” Helen snapped.

Annabeth crossed her arms over her chest. “You literally lost me the chance to go to fucking Stanford, so you’ll have to forgive me for not having much respect for you.”

“Annabeth,” her father warned.

The smart thing to do would have been to drop it then and there. Nothing good could have come of this. The damage was already done. Continuing this would only make things worse.

Annabeth knew all this, but at that moment, she was filled with such uncontrolled rage, rage that had been built upon years upon years of horrid treatment from Helen and her father who couldn’t be bothered to care about the fact that his new wife routinely emotionally abused his first-born daughter, that she couldn’t bring herself to stop.

“She fucking knew this was important and she hid these from me anyways,” Annabeth snapped. “She’s so insecure about that fact that I’m more intelligent than her kids that she has to sabotage me.”

“Annabeth, that’s enough,” her father said sharply.

Annabeth turned to him and balled her hands in fists. “And you! You never say anything. You just let her treat me like absolute dogshit, and you don’t even care.”

“Young lady, you are so disrespectful that it honestly blows my mind,” Helen said coldly. “How you can accuse me of treating you poorly when you never bother to interact with the family and treat us like strangers is beyond me.”

“That’s rich coming from the person who couldn’t be bothered to visit her step-daughter once in the hospital,” Annabeth snorted.

A vein bulged on Helen’s forehead, and Annabeth knew she had her. “The reason I do my best to stay out of the house isn’t rocket science. From day one, you have done absolutely everything you can to make me feel unwelcome in this family-”

“Let me tell you something that you don’t seem to understand: no one is ruining your life, dear,” Helen interrupted. “You ruin things yourself and blame everyone else for it instead. You are just an ungrateful, spiteful little girl that does nothing but cause people pain.”

Annabeth stiffened like she’d been hit in the face with a shovel. Her thoughts turned to radio static and her chest squeezed so painfully that it was hard for her to breathe.

No words came to her.

Without meaning to, she turned to her father.

“D-Dad?” Annabeth asked, her voice cracking.

Annabeth wasn’t even sure what she was asking for, just that at that moment, she felt very much like she was seven years old again, asking him to check for monsters hiding in the closet. Back then she had taken it for granted that he would help her, that he would keep her safe. Suddenly, it made sense why she kept looking to him whenever Helen tormented her, even though she knew he would never come to her aid. She thought she had abandoned that hope a long time ago, but now Annabeth realized some small part of her had still held on to it, like someone tending to a dying flame.

Still, there was nothing that could prepare her for the silence in the living room at that moment as her father simply sat there, his lips pressed in a hard line, still not looking at her.

Annabeth forced herself to take a deep breath. She wasn’t going to cry. She wasn’t going to let Helen win this.

No, instead, Annabeth turned to her father and offered him a strained smile. “Since it is apparent that you aren’t going to say anything on my behalf, like always, I just wanted to tell you a few things before I left. And yes, I am leaving. I’m done living in this house, which should delight the both of you. I don’t know that would even worry you, but rest assured: I’ll figure things out on my own, like I always have.”

When Helen bristled at the accusation, Annabeth offered her a smile like poisoned honey and said, “Before you open your mouth, feel free to shut the fuck up. I’m talking to my father right now.”

Helen went red, but Annabeth stared her down, begging her to say something. Helen glanced at her father, but for whatever reason, he didn’t come to her aid this time. She shook her head incredulously and left the living room, leaving Annabeth alone with her father.

When she was gone, he looked at Annabeth for the first time and said, “You went too far.”

“I honestly don’t give a shit,” Annabeth said simply.

Her father opened his mouth to chastise her, undoubtedly, but Annabeth bulldozed on through.

“Don’t bother to defend her. I’ll be gone in a few minutes anyways, and then it won’t matter since you’ll never have to see me again. But until then, you are going to shut up and listen to me,” Annabeth said.

Her father pressed his mouth in a thin line, which Annabeth took as permission to keep going.

“I don’t know when or how things went so wrong between us. I still remember how it used to be, back when mom was still around,” Annabeth started.

“She’s gone, Annabeth,” he interrupted.

“Yeah, I fucking know, but you don’t seem to realize you weren’t the only one she left behind,” Annabeth yelled.

“She left me, too, you know? And you have punished me for that, every day since she left,” Annabeth said, her voice cracking.

Annabeth steadied herself before she got too emotional and shook her head. “But I want you to know something - I am proud to be my mother’s daughter. Despite your best efforts to make me feel otherwise, I will not apologize for that, for being here, for existing. And I’m done looking to you for help or safety or even acknowledgement given you’ve long since proven to be utterly incapable of that. And I want you to know that someday I’ll find people who love and accept me, and I won’t ever have to spare a second of my life thinking about you and how you made me feel. Someday, I’ll heal and you’ll be nothing more than a bad memory.”

With that, Annabeth left to retrieve her luggage from the hallway before he could respond and left the house for good. Piper was pacing around her car and rushed over to her once she heard the door open and threw her arms around her.

“Are you okay?” Piper asked. “It sounded pretty bad in there.”

“Yeah,” Annabeth said, nodding. “I finally let go of something I should have a long time ago.”

Piper studied her for a moment before nodding to herself. “Alright, looks like that’s settled then. Let’s go get something to eat!”

Annabeth raised an eyebrow. “You’re dropping it, just like that?”

“You look like you’ve got it figured out on your own,” Piper said, shrugging. “Besides, I can tell this is something I can’t really help you with anyways.”

Annabeth smiled despite herself and shook her head. “I never thought the day would come when Piper McLean would know when to let sleeping dogs lie.”

Piper rolled her eyes and stashed her luggage in her car trunk. “Don’t make me change my mind about letting you stay.”

“That’s an empty threat if I’ve ever heard one,” Annabeth said, sliding into the passenger seat.

“Yeah, I suppose you’re right,” Piper muttered.

“But seriously though,” Annabeth said, clearing her throat. “Thank you. For everything. It means more to me than I can say.”

“You’re welcome,” Piper said softly. “I’m happy for you. Leaving that hellhole was a long time coming. You definitely made the right call.”

“What happened to all the asking me if I was sure about it and stuff?” Annabeth asked.

“I’ve always wanted you to leave. I just didn’t want to influence your decision,” Piper said.

Annabeth was quiet for a moment and said, “You’re actually a really good friend, huh?”

Piper gave her a cheeky grin and started the car. “I’m offended that it took you so long to notice.”

#knuffled fic #just practice #percabeth fic #percabeth fluff #percabeth angst #annabeth chase #percy jackson

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purrincess-chat · 3 years

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Marinette Dupain-Cheng’s Spite Playlist: Remix CH8

You guys have made it! Starting next chapter this story is going to look much different. This chapter also includes a couple never-read-before scenes, and the end of this one changes the course of this story quite a bit. I hope you’re all ...ready for it?

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Chapter 8: Say Amen (Saturday Night)

“I’m impressed, Adrikins.” Chloe crossed one leg over the other. “It’s not like you to go on the offensive.”

“I don’t like seeing my friends get hurt,” he said while Jean Luke poured their tea. “Lila has gone too far.”

“I’m so glad you’re seeing things my way. With you on my side, I think we can have her running back to Italy in tears by next Tuesday,” Chloe said with a crooked grin.

“Well,” Adrien drawled in his token wishy-washy tone that Chloe hated. “I want to stop her, but I don’t want to humiliate or hurt her.”

She should have known.

“Adrikins, we have got to do something about that moral compass of yours.” Chloe rolled her eyes and took a sip of her tea.

“Just because she’s mean and selfish doesn’t mean she deserves to be completely mortified. There has to be another way.” Adrien chided.

“What if we send her a fake letter saying she won an all-expense-paid trip to Jamaica for two years?” Chloe suggested. “Then we have our pilot strand her in the middle of the jungle.”

Adrien gave her a disapproving frown.

“What? I’m just brainstorming,” she said. “All I’m saying is that I will spare no expense to make her disappear.”

“No harm, Chloe.”

“I liked you better when you were spineless,” she grumbled. “Where has all this new-found courage come from anyway?”

“I just thought about what you said.” He reached for a madeleine. “…And Lila confronted me.”

“I suppose I give you an A for effort.” She applauded him slowly. “If you could convince that bakery brat to join us, then we might get somewhere.” Chloe’s eyes narrowed when Adrien averted his gaze. “I can smell your guilt from here.”

“I don’t want Marinette to know about this,” he said. “I want her to continue to move on and be happy.”

“Why do you care so much about Dupain-Cheng? I’ve known you two were friends, but I didn’t think you were that close.” Chloe eyed him.

“Lila has caused her enough grief, and she’s my friend.” He shrugged. “She’s important to me.”

His newfound protectiveness didn’t sit well with Chloe. She turned her back for a few days, and now Dupain-Cheng had Adrien eating out of her hands. She would have to keep an eye on them.

“So, that’s why you want to do something about Lila now? To help Dupain-Cheng?” She asked, doing her best not to sound offended. “And here I’d thought you couldn’t stand to see me being unjustly ignored.”

“You’ve known Marinette longer than I have. Do you think she deserved to be treated that way by her friends?” Adrien asked.

Chloe shifted her gaze to her cup, taking a long, thoughtful sip. “No,” she said, “as much as I hate her, she didn’t deserve that.”

Adrien’s eyebrows raised in surprise, but a smile curled on his lips. “You’ve changed.”

“Don’t think for a second that I care about her,” she scoffed. Her cheeks burned when Adrien leaned against his fist with a smug grin.

“I like it. It suits you,” he said. She puffed her cheeks out stubbornly, prompting a laugh from Adrien.

“Well, if you’re not going to let me do things my way, and you don’t want Dupain-Cheng to know about this, then I’m going to need some time to think and pull resources together,” she said, getting back to the matter at hand.

“Thanks, Chlo.” He leaned back and took a deep breath. “Although…”

“Don’t ‘although.’” Chloe groaned.

“I just feel kind of bad for yelling at her like that,” Adrien said.

“Why? She deserved it.” She snatched a bonbon from the tray and popped it into her mouth.

“I know, but…” He clasped his hands together between his knees. “It still feels mean.”

“Your passion was short-lived, Adrikins.” Chloe rolled her eyes.

Adrien pursed his lips, clicking his tongue against the roof of his mouth. “I’ll talk to her again tomorrow and give her one last chance.” When Chloe shook her head, he added, “If she says no, then we can figure something out. Something safe and not needlessly cruel.”

“You’re such a goody-two-shoes. Always thinking everyone can change and be nice.” She stuck her tongue out with a gag.

“Well, I never gave up on you, and now you’re a superhero,” he said pointedly.

Chloe flipped her ponytail over one shoulder to hide her smile. “Fine. Do whatever you want, but I’m still going to think up plans for revenge for when you inevitably fail.” She waved him away.

“I’ll see you tomorrow.” He crossed the room to kiss her cheeks in farewell before taking his leave.

Chloe clapped for her butler the moment the door shut behind him. “Jean Rousseau, how quickly can we have a case of live lobsters delivered?”

♪♫♪ Kaleidoscope Eyes ♪♫♪

“Wait, what happened?” Adrien asked that night over video chat. His Chinese notecards were scattered across his desk, abandoned the moment Marinette’s picture flashed on his screen.

“Clara Nightingale wants me to design for her! She came by in person and everything,” Marinette said. She laid prone on her chaise, legs kicking as she chewed her nails. “I’m so nervous, but she thinks I’ve got what it takes.”

“Of course, you do. You’re awesome.” Adrien assured her.

“Thanks.” She tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear. “So, how was school for you today? Anything exciting happen?”

“Uh, just same old, same old. Lila being Lila.” He averted his gaze. “Nothing noteworthy to report.”

“That’s good, I guess,” Marinette said. “I take it Chloe hasn’t made a move?”

“Nope.”

“Give her time.” Marinette rolled her eyes. “By the way, my new friends still want to meet you.”

“I’d be happy to,” he said, thankful for the change in subject.

“Macy invited me to hang out at her house on Friday. Maybe you could come along if you aren’t busy,” she suggested.

“I’ll beg my father.”

“Awesome!” Her blue eyes sparkled when she smiled. She seemed so relaxed and carefree. Just as she should be.

He tapped his fingers on his desk, his conscience loud in his ears. “You know I’d do anything to help you, right?”

“What? I, uh, yeah I mean, we’re friends, so I’d do anything to help you too,” she stammered, cheeks pink. “Why?”

“No reason, just if you need anyone to bounce ideas off of for Clara, that’s all…” He cleared his throat. “Anyway, I should get back to studying.”

“Right, I’m sorry for calling and distracting you!” She scrambled to sit up.

“It’s fine. I’m glad you did,” he said. “Talk to you soon.”

“I’ll let you know how designing goes,” she said. “Good night, Adrien.”

“Yeah, good night…”

♪♫♪ Dancing With a Wolf ♪♫♪

“Did you finish filing those papers Mme. Mendeleiev asked you to do?” Alya asked after school the next day.

Lila suppressed an eye roll, cupping her hands to her cheeks. “Oh no, I didn’t, and I totally forgot that my mom set up a meeting for me with some ambassadors about a new idea I have to help special needs kids in third world countries!” She clasped her hands together. “I know you’re busy, but would you mind finishing that up for me? I will totally make it up to you!”

“No worries, girl,” Alya said. “Go save the world.”

Lila smiled triumphantly as she sauntered toward the locker room, looking forward to her afternoon off. The students here were so gullible. She’d never had such an easy time pushing her work off on others, and now that Marinette was gone, she could do whatever she wanted. Rounding the corner, she found Adrien standing by her locker with a solemn expression.

“Hey, Lila,” he said. “Can we talk?”

“Are you going to apologize for how you spoke to me yesterday?” She crossed her arms over her chest with a humph.

“I am.” He nodded.

“Well, go on then,” she said.

“I’m sorry for yelling at you,” he said.

Her shoulders relaxed, and the smug grin returned to her lips. “Apology accepted. I’m so happy that you see things my w-”

“I’m not finished.” He cut her off. “I’m sorry for yelling at you, but I’m not sorry for what I said.” Her eyes narrowed, so he continued, “If you continue lying to everyone and using them, you’re only going to hurt yourself in the end. People are going to figure it out eventually, and they’re going to be angry with you.”

“These people are blind. I’ll get away with it for as long as I want.” She brushed past him to open her locker.

“I know you think that, but you’re wrong,” he said, and Lila could see where this speech was going. “I’m going to give you one last chance, Lila. Tell everyone the truth.”

She rolled her eyes as she shifted her books. “Or what, Adrien?” She turned to him and cocked a brow. “What are you going to do? Tell everyone that I’m lying? Good luck. You see how well that went for Marinette.”

Her name sparked something in his eyes, and Lila smirked when his jaw clenched.

“I’m not going to expose you.” Adrien shook his head. “You’re going to expose yourself, and I won’t help you when you face the consequences.”

“We’ll see about that.” She reapplied her lip gloss before shutting her locker. “Sooner or later, you’ll see things my way, and when you do, I’ll be waiting.” She strutted past him with a wink, hips swaying.

“Is that your choice?”

She turned over her shoulder with an amused grin. “Oh, Adrien. One day you’re going to learn that not everyone in the world wants to be nice,” she cooed.

He nodded thoughtfully. “Suit yourself.”

At that she rolled her eyes and paced from the locker room. Adrien didn’t scare her because he was all talk and no bite—just one thing that she loved about him. Boys like him were easy to manipulate, and it was only a matter of time before she had him under her spell just like everyone else. All she had to do was wait.

♪♫♪ Cinderblock Garden ♪♫♪

Come to my garden.

When Marinette received the invite from Adrien, she swore she was dreaming, but the gates opening before her were the pinch in the side she needed. This wasn’t a dream. Adrien really invited her to his house! She should have changed schools ages ago.

“Marinette! This way,” Adrien called from the front door, a bright smile warming his face.

“This is the first time I’ve been invited to your house. I’m a little nervous…” Marinette admitted as Adrien’s bodyguard shut the door behind them.

“I had to beg Nathalie, but I think I have something that can help you with your designs for Clara.”

Adrien led the way through the large house, and Marinette soaked in as much of it as possible. It was the first opportunity she had to peek into Adrien’s life, and she wasn’t going to waste it.

Colorless walls and floors were sparsely decorated with lavish couches, untouched from the moment they were placed. Towering portraits spanned the walls, watching over each room with their solemn expressions. Goosebumps trailed up Marinette’s arms. Every object was meticulously placed, and each room resembled a museum display more than a home. She half expected an alarm to go off if she touched anything.

They passed enough tall doors to make anyone dizzy, though all of them were closed, barring Marinette off from what lied beyond. The Agreste mansion hid many secrets, some that even Adrien probably didn’t know. Adrien’s house felt more like a fortress than a home, designed not only to keep the rest of the world out, but to keep the family locked in. It was hard to tell from the outside, but moving through one gray room after another, Marinette started to see the house for what it was: a cozy prison built for a boy. No wonder Adrien was always eager to leave—it was easy to feel alone in a house like this.

She’d never considered what other barriers stood between her and Adrien. How many doors were between them? She liked to think she’d made it through a few, but the tall walls of the mansion with its many locked doors reminded her just how little she knew the boy in front of her. Would those doors ever open for her? And was Adrien even capable of opening them? She didn’t know.

“Your house is very…” Marinette searched for a word.

“Depressing?” He turned to her over his shoulder.

“I wouldn’t say that-”

“It’s okay,” he said. “It’s true. My father is a brilliant designer… of clothes, but his interior décor makes funeral homes seem cheerful.”

“Lonely,” she said. “I was going to say I can see now how you get lonely.”

“It’s not all bad,” he said as Gorilla opened the brown double doors, and they stepped out into the backyard.

The dreary aura of the house gave way to warm sunlight, and Marinette welcomed the change, taking a deep breath of fresh air. Rose bushes lined the yard, vines trailing up the house in knotted tendrils while dozens of butterflies fluttered between the flowers. Despite the ever-present roar of the city beyond the walls, the garden was a tranquil place.

“It’s beautiful,” she murmured, dumbstruck.

“My mother loved to spend time out here, and somedays I catch my father sitting on the steps with his tablet. I thought that maybe it could inspire you too.” Adrien rubbed the back of his neck, and when Marinette turned to him with a smile, he gestured to the stairs. “Come on. It’s even better down there.”

Adrien beckoned for her to follow, and she trailed her hand along the smooth stone railing, head leaned back to take in all of the greenery. Sunlight trickled through the trees, casting speckled, glowing patterns on the ground. Birds chirped in the bushes, the occasional tiny head peeking out between the branches. Everything was so lively here, living in perfect harmony—a direct contrast from the dissonance inside the house.

They came to stop in front of the statue at the center—Adrien’s mother immortalized in stone. Much like the rest of the portraits in the house, it was beautiful, but also sad. Marinette couldn’t imagine losing her mom the way Adrien lost his. He put on a cheery face, but Marinette knew that he was still mourning deep down.

“My dad loves having images of my mom around. It’s like she’s still here with us,” he said. “It probably sounds silly, but I like to sit out here and talk to her sometimes. It’s comforting.”

“I don’t think that’s silly.” Marinette shook her head. “You really miss her.”

“Yeah,” he said softly. “But I know she’d want me to be happy, so I try to keep my head up every day.”

Marinette hesitated, her fingers twitching toward his. It wouldn’t be out of line to take his hand. She just wanted to comfort him…as a friend. Despite convincing herself it was an innocent gesture, her heart still skipped when she finally mustered the courage to slip her hand into his. He welcomed it, giving her hand a tight squeeze.

“Thank you for bringing me here,” she said, “and for sticking by me through everything.”

Adrien turned to her, the sunniness returning to his smile as he shot her a wink. “I’ve got your back, Marinette. You’re one of my best friends, and I’ll always be here for you.”

Her cheeks warmed, and she turned back to the statue. It was strange. Normally hearing Adrien say such things would have sent her straight to cloud 9, and she would have spent hours replaying those words in her head. But her heart couldn’t seem to get off the ground. The light fluttery feeling was weighed by a heavy darkness as if it were still trapped in the house, unable to escape into the peace of the garden.

Then I guess we shouldn’t consider ourselves bffs if there’s so much we don’t know about each other.

Maybe we shouldn’t.

“Marinette?”

She blinked, and something hot slid down her cheek. Adrien stepped closer as she batted at it with a shaking hand, a wet sheen glistening on her fingers.

“It’s okay.” He pulled her into his arms.

She clung to him as more tears spilled over, burying her face in his shoulder. She hadn’t intended to make a habit of crying in the arms of the boy she loved, but given the circumstances, she couldn’t help it. Her tears came when they wanted and refused to surrender once they started. Luckily, Adrien was so perfect and understanding that he always held her close, whispering soft encouragement until her sobs quieted.

Marinette loved him with all of her heart.

“How can anyone live with themselves when they inflict this kind of pain on others?” Adrien murmured into her hair. “Lila Rossi really is evil.”

♪♫♪ …Ready for It? ♪♫♪

Chloe wasn’t surprised to see him that evening—she didn’t even pause her yoga when he entered. It should have bothered him more that she predicted he would cave, but Chloe had known him a long time. She knew better than anyone what his limits were.

“Have you thought about my request?” she asked, shifting into downward facing dog.

Adrien chewed his cheek, Marinette’s tears now dried on his shirt, and steeled his resolve. “If you and I were to plot revenge against Lila…what do you have in mind?”

#mdcsp #mdcspr #marinette dupain-cheng's spite playlist #marinette dupain-cheng's spite playlist remix #my writing

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skywalkerstyles · 3 years

Text

Kissing Lesson pt8

Pairing: Bakugou x Fem!Readee

Warnings: angst and fluff

Katsuki helps me inside the house, taking my jacket from my shoulders. My skin vibrates when he touches me, the tension is palpable since I kissed him in the car. I wonder if he can feel it like I can. I know what I want, what I’ve always wanted and it’s him. We stand awkwardly in the hallway, each outside out respective rooms, looking at anything but each other.

“Thank you,” I mumble, I want nothing more than to run into his arms and be his for the night. He doesn’t say anything, I sigh, turning towards my room when I hear him move, and then a hand wraps around my wrist.

I turn and he cups my cheek in his hand, holding onto my wrist tightly but gently.He drags his thumb over my bottom lip, staring at me with an intensity I’ve never felt before. “Come to bed,” he whispers, “With me.” he doesn’t give me a chance to answer, his lips are on mine and he’s pulling me back into his room, I follow willingly. I don’t want to fight this anymore. His parents are asleep,Mei won’t be home, it might as well be just us in the world right now.

We fall into bed, turning to face one another. He holds my hands in his, kissing them gently. I smile, feeling safe and content.

“I could have killed him you know?” Katsuki says after a bit, he brushes my hair back from my face. “I wanted to hurt him so badly.”

“I should have listened to you.”

“Did you sleep with him?” this takes me by surprise. The way he says it, beneath the nonchalance is pain, hurt, I can hear it. I know him too well for him to hide it. I’m glad it’s dark, he can’t see me blush.

“No.” I can hear him sigh, he shifts closer to me, resting one hand on my hip, the other running through my hair softly. I love the feel of his nails against my scalp. “Have you?”

“No. I’m not into dudes,” I slap his shoulder gently, laughing at his joke.

“Not what I meant.”

“I know. I know.” he pauses, I wait for him, “Yeah. I have.”

“With who?”

“Hana Sukiyami.”

“Ew.”

“She was my first girlfriend.” I lean in closer, intrigued.

“What was it like?” I ask.

“Sex is sex when you don’t love someone. It felt good but I didn’t feel that….connection.” he says.

“Have you felt that connection with anyone else?” I press, trying not to push to hard, but I am thoroughly interested in the conversation.

“Yeah.” he doesn’t say anything else. I poke his side.

“Who?”

“Go to sleep or go to your room.”

“Not till you tell me. Please?” he runs his hand over his face, before fistiing his hand in my hair. He pushes me onto my back and presses his body against mine, over top of me. He’s looking at me again, it makes me feel so small, but in a good way.

“I feel that way when I’m with you okay. You’re the only person I’ve felt that spark with and it scares me.” I’m breathless, my heart is pounding in my chest as he releases me and sits beside me. I sit up, leaning my chin on his shoulder. He puts his face in his hands.

“Katsuki I-”

“You’ve been in our family for so long….It’s crazy because I always saw you as a sister, a friend. But lately….I don’t see you that way anymore.” he turns his head, kissing me desperately, it’s quick but it makes my thighs burn. “I see this beautiful,strong woman that I would do anything for. Be anything for. Whatever you wanted. It’s crazy. I’ve never felt that for anyone.” I press my hands to his face and bring him back to my lips, kissing him softly, hoping I can reciprocate all the things he’s just confessed to me. I begin to lay back down, pulling him with me. But he breaks away, sitting up and pressing his hand against my hip.

“What?” I ask, he shakes his head.

“I can’t….I can’t…” my stomach flips and embarrassment floods me. What the fuck? I scoff, jumping up, he reaches for me but I draw my hand back quickly.

“Don’t. I’ve been through hell tonight and I don’t need your wishy washy hot and cold shit.” I stomp towards his door before he can say anything else and quickly go to my room.

I wake up the next morning still angry, still hurt and upset. I know how I feel and I know it’s real. And I know Katsuki feels it too. It could ruin everything. Or it could be what we always dreamed it would be. I’m willing to take that chance.

There’s a note on the fridge when I go to the kitchen. Masura and Matsuki are out, And Mei’is still with Kai. I’m not sure Katsuki is home until I make my way down the hall towards the bathroom. He comes out of his bedroom, eyes red rimmed with dark circles. He stops, his breath hitching when he sees me. I try to move past him quickly.

“Y/N.” he calls after me. “Let me explain. He walks around me, blocking my way into the bathroom.

“Let me through Bakugou.” he flinches, I only call him that when I’m mad.

“Not until you listen to me.”

“Listen to what? The fact that you claim to feel all these things for me and yet you refuse to do anything about it?!”

“How do you think my family will react if they find out? You’re like a daughter, a sister!”

“But I’m not though! They might understand!”

“Have you met my sister?!” I roll my eyes, shoving him out of the way. I glare at him as we stand alone in the hallway.

“You know something? You’re a fucking idiot!” He flinches at my words. “You have someone standing in front of you, who wants nothing more than to be with you and you’re too blinded to see that!” I slam the bathroom door shut and slide down against it, breaking into sobs. I’m frustrated, I’m confused. I love him. I know I shouldn’t but I do.

I hear him sit down outside the door, his back is probably against it. I look to see his fingers slide under the door, I smile. I did that when we were kids. Whenever he was taking too long in the bathroom.

“I know I’m an idiot….but I’m scared.” he sighs, I see him wiggling his pinky. I hesitate before wrapping my own around his. “People get angry about things they don’t understand. And this is all so strange, I mean I’ve grown up with you, I’ve been there through literally everything….I don’t want anyone to get hurt.”

“You know me better than anyone else in this world Katsuki..besides Mei, “ I add after a moment, he chuckles. “They might be more understanding than you’re giving them credit for.”

“I don’t know.” we sit in silence for a while. A question rests on my lips.

“Katsuki?”

“Yeah?”

“Why didn’t you want me to have sex with Ash?”

“Who said I didn’t want you to?”

“I just assumed because of last night.” I hear him sigh, I can see him in my mind’s eye running his fingers through his hair, trying to find the right words.

“Because….because I couldn’t stand the idea of you being with him.” I want to push the envelope.

“Why?” I ask. “Would it bother you if I had sex with just him or anyone?” he grunts, irritation clear in his tone, I know I’m getting to him, but I need the truth. I need to hear him say it.

“I….it’s….fuckin hell….yes! Okay? Yes, in any scenario, I would try to stop you. I don’t want you to have sex with anyone.” Katsuki’s pinky squeezes mine under the door.

“You don’t want me to have sex with anyone……Except you.”

I can hear the gulp as he swallows. It’s the loudest sound in the room. I want to open the door, see the expression on his face. But I wait.

“Except me,” he says.

“When did you first realize it? That you wanted me….For more than a friend.“

"The kissing lesson. That’s when I knew I was attracted to you….the night you stayed with me was when I knew I wanted you.” I let go of him, his hand disappears from under the door. I can hear him standing. I unlock the bathroom door and push it open. His face is red, and his cheeks have tear tracks, his nose is runny. It’s endearing. I reach out, wrapping my arms around him, he clings to me, his nails digging into my waist, I don’t mind it. “I’m sorry,” he mumbles into my hair. I kiss his neck.

“Me too.” we stand there in each other’s arms, it’s comforting, I can feel the sync of our heartbeats, our breaths. I pull back to look him in the eye, he still looks scared, unsure of himself. “I don’t want to lie….But if I have to so we can be together I will.” his lips part and his eyes widen. It’s a lot. I’m willing to lie to the people who love me the most just to be with the one person who has always been a sense of peace for me.

“So we’re doing this?” I breathe a sigh of relief, happy he’s considering it and not rejecting me again. “You sure I’m not just a rebound for Ash?” I shake my head giggling.

“I settled for Ash because I couldn’t have you,” I bring my hands up to his face, pressing our foreheads together, his chest is pressed against mine, my feet are nearly on top of his. “But I want you.” he kisses me softly, methodically, running his hands up and down my back.

“I’m yours,” he mumbles against my lips, making my heart leap with triumph. “It’ll be our secret for now. Till we can find a way…... to tell everyone,” his lips trail down the side of my neck, I run my fingers through his hair, tilting my head back to give him better access. “But I’m yours. Whatever you want.” He brings his lips back to mine, I open my mouth willingly, letting his tongue slide lazily against mine. It’s perfect.

“Katsuki?” I pull away for air, he smiles at me, it’s small and affectionate, I can’t help but to smile too. He studies my face as I struggle to ask for the one thing I want from him most right now.

“What is it?” there’s concern laced in his voice. I bite my lip, his eyes flicker down to it, “I want to do that.” his voice is low, his grip on me tightening.

“I want you to make love to me,” his jaw twitches, “I want you to be my first….If you’ll have me.”

#bnha imagines #bnha scenarios #my hero academy fanfiction #my hero fanfic #my hero imagines #my hero x reader #bakugou comfort #bakugou katsuki #bakugou katuski x reader #bakugou x reader

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cablesscutie · 3 years

Note

34. “I just want to be there for you.” Zutara, For the fluff prompt list please ☺️

Hello!! You sent me this a very long time ago and then my brain was bad and ground to a screeching halt, but I have been thinking about it this whole time! And now my brain has finally allowed me to make words again these past few weeks, so here it is:

PART 1 \\ PART 2

Even after seeing pictures of Zuko convinces Katara to tentatively agree to Ty Lee’s hairbrained scheme, she still tells herself that she has time to bail. If she really decides that she doesn’t need a date after all, she can just cancel on him and tell Aang her date had food poisoning or something. If worst comes to worst, she can claim that she has food poisoning too and escape the entire mortifying ordeal altogether. Zuko is just an option.

This is the constant refrain in her mind week after week as the date of the wedding approaches, and Katara gets somehow less enthusiastic about it with each passing day. She thinks it as she lets Suki shove her into a fitting room, laden with figure-hugging dresses. She thinks it as she scrolls quickly past Instagram posts counting down the days, politely liking them faster than she can process the sight of fairy lights and mason jars. She thinks it as she impulsively adds a leg waxing to her bi-monthly spa day with Toph. Zuko is just an option.

Just an option with arms that look like they would feel strong and secure around her, and a shy smile, and who’s sweet and playful with kids. Katara lets out a long, frustrated groan and presses her forehead to her desk, rolling it back and forth in a futile attempt to rub out the impending headache of a Friday afternoon. A moment later, she hears the telltale rattle of Suki’s office chair, and then her friend is rolling to a stop beside her.

“You good?” she asks, brushing aside Katara’s hair so she can see her face.

“No,” she sighs, annoyed.

“Is it the rehearsal dinner? Because if you don’t want to go, I can just say you got held late at work.”

“No, no. That’ll be...fine, probably. It’s this whole wedding date thing.”

“Oh do not tell me you’re still being all wishy-washy about it.”

“It just feels like a weird thing to do! I’m just going to show up at my ex’s wedding with this random dude? How will that look?”

“Um, probably like you’ve moved on? Which you have. Objectively. You even had a whole other relationship.”

“Really? Because I think it’ll look like I’m jealous and trying not to be.”

Suki fixes her with disbelieving eyebrows and a laugh. “Trust me, babe. Nobody is going to think that you’re the one that left that relationship pining. You were basically his mom. If this was Jet’s wedding...eh, maybe? But you tend to settle.”

Katara isn’t quite sure if Suki is trying to insult her or compliment her with that statement, and she isn’t sure if her kneejerk, “Hey!” is out of a desire to defend her judgement, or her past partners’ character. Regardless, she doesn’t have much after that to refute the point. Aang seems like a functional enough adult now, a few years out of college, but when they had dated, the “teen” in his nineteen years definitely showed. As for Jet, her much more recent cut, he was...vibing.

“Hon, you’re gonna be fine. I’ve heard Ty Lee and Mai talk about Zuko before, and he sounds like a decent guy. At worst, you have a meh date and escape some social awkwardness, but-” the upward tilt of Suki’s voice had Katara on edge, knowing what was coming next.

“Please, no -”

“- it could be good.”

“No, it can’t be.”

“Ty Lee seems really confident about you two, and you know she’s got a creepy good love radar. After all, she’s the one who convinced me not to block your brother when he slid into my DM’s. Even you told me to block him.”

“She does not have love radar. I love her, but the girl is an unstoppable meddler; she was bound to have a hit once,” Katara dismisses. It’s true that Sokka and Suki are adorable now, and perhaps evidence of the existence of soulmates, but Katara maintains that Ty Lee is a hopeless romantic who believes anything could be the start of an epic love story.

“Fine, be a cynic then. But you’ve already acknowledged that he’s hot, so just go to the wedding with him, and maybe finally rebound from Jet.”

“Hmm,” Katara hums noncommittally.

She’s something of a serial monogamist. She’d left her first real relationship with Aang intending on a summer fling to cleanse her palate before going back for her senior year. After a whirlwind month with the mature and worldly Jiang, she’d been looking into online classes, all but ready to move onto her houseboat and sail away into the sunset. Until Suki pointed out that it was an insane plan, and the ultimately parted ways as planned when Jiang set out to sea again. From there, she had fallen in with Jet as a friend with benefits to blow off steam through her last year without leaving herself open to distraction.

He wasn’t the kind of stable presence she could see herself settling down with, but wasn’t looking to be babied either. No, Jet was more of a feral creature. He knew he was dysfunctional and was fine with it, because function was the system and the system was bogus. Then, she got to know him, and realized that he kept people at a distance for much the same reason she was always pulling them too close. Suddenly, she had grand dreams of showing him the healing power of love, and both of them breaking free of their pain, never needing to fear being alone ever again. He cheated on her, and even as she was shouting at him, she’d known deep down that they had both just repeated their same bad habits all over again.

Now, there is Zuko. Zuko, with tragedy in his scarred eye, and sadness in his smile, but gentle hands on little legs resting on his shoulders. Katara thinks she could make many bad habits out of Zuko, and she is not too proud to admit that it terrifies her. Her stomach turns, and she thinks it might not even be a lie by the time she tells Zuko she’s suddenly too sick to attend the wedding.

The nausea gets worse at the rehearsal dinner, when she walks in to find Jet there, grinning at a bridesmaid. Suki hauls her over to Aang to give him a dressing-down for inviting him, and Katara is somehow reminded in the span of five minutes why she is extremely glad to be rid of both of them.

“I didn’t think it would be a problem!” Aang says, his usual defense. “And he is my friend - we go rock climbing together.”

“Small world,” Suki snarls, and Aang goes wide-eyed, leaning around her to look beseechingly at Katara.

“I swear, I didn’t think you were avoiding each other! After all, we’re exes, and it’s my wedding, but that’s not weird. So I figured you wouldn’t have a problem being in the same room as your other ex.”

Katara grits her teeth behind glossy lips that she forces into a smile, and despite Suki’s murder eyes and the voice in her head telling her not to - to swallow her embarrassment and tell the truth - she finds herself falling back on those old bad habits. “It’s okay, Aang. You had good intentions. We can be adults for one day.”

“Thank you so much Katara,” Aang gushes, lunging forward to wrap her in a hug that pins her arms briefly to her sides. “You’re the best!”

Suki shakes her head in disappointment as he bounds away. “You made your bed,” she reminds Katara. “Guess now you have to decide who to lie in it with.” She glides away to join Sokka at the bar, leaving Katara standing dazed and confused.

“Katara, hey,” an all too familiar voice greets her almost immediately after, and Katara closes her eyes. Suki totally hung her out to dry, and she can’t even be that mad because she’s right.

“Jet,” she says evenly, turning to face him. This shouldn’t be hard for her. While she doesn’t forgive him, she’s also very over him and understands that she’s an idiot for not making Aang ask him to leave. “How are you?”

“Not bad, not bad,” he says, bobbing his head. His clothes are formal but rumpled by disdain for their formality, an effect which once had a liquifying effect on Katara’s insides, but now just feels rude. “I was actually coming over to ask you the same thing,” he says, as though it is a profound inquiry and not the root of all small talk. She opens her mouth to offer a brusque reply and make an excuse to join Sokka and Suki at their table, but he knocks the wind out of her sails with his next words. “Ex’s wedding and all. Brutal.” He gives her a look that she is all to familiar with: his I-see-your-pain look. It was another thing about him that used to push all the right buttons on her, but now she just feels insulted at the presumption that she needs or wants his pity.

“Aang is actually a very dear friend,” she says, trying to sound as impenetrably chipper as possible. “Like a little brother.”

Jet is not deterred, leaning closer to her, his hand just brushing her elbow. “I feel bad about how things ended between us,” he says softly. “I should’ve done better by you.” Katara is momentarily stunned. Is she actually getting a sincere apology? “Which is why I think we should go to the wedding together. I just want to be there for you.”

It’s like a bucket of cold water down her spine, dousing both the fire of her anger and the tiny kindling warmth in her stomach. Katara pulls her shoulders back, straightening her spine, and snaps, “I already have someone to be there for me.”

Jet blinks and rears back a little. “Alright. I’ll, uh. Be looking forward to meeting them then.”

As he slinks away, she feels a moment of deep satisfaction. Only to nearly aspirate her sip of wine as she realizes she has officially painted herself into a corner. Zuko is coming to this wedding.

Thank you! If anyone wants to send me a line or prompt (from this list or your brain) I'll keep it going!

#zutara #zutara fic #my writing #ask game

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soukokuwu · 4 years

Note

hi rachel, i love ur work. i was wondering if u could pls write an angst to fluff scenario for ada dazai w a fem s/o. it’s always been a huge fear of mine to get cheated on because my parents never had the best relationship. i was wondering if u could write something about the reader talking w dazai about it and him initially thinking she doesn’t doesn’t trust him because of his past, but it actually being due to hers? sweet ending? tysm and i hope u have a good week !! much love

Dazai Osamu

➥ slight angst to fluff

➥ dazai x reader

➥ word count: 1.7k

➥ a/n: i’m sorry this took a long while, hopefully you’re still here, & i’m sorry to hear about that! my parents don’t have the best relationship either so i hope you’re doing okay 🤍

Your masks & mine

Insecurity kills all that is beautiful.

In this moment, you’ve never felt it to be more true. In this moment, as you look at the man you love, getting googly-eyes from the bartender. In this moment, you feel the fear, the anger, the upset, all creeping up on you. In this moment, even as the man you love has no one in his eyes but you.

It isn’t fair. This isn’t fair to him.

You try to talk yourself into concentrating on the conversation at hand. It’s something about Kunikida forcing Dazai to do things he didn’t feel like again. But even as you try your best, his voice sounds muffled at best. You continue to sip on your wine, your own thoughts eating you up.

Random memories flash across your mind.

That time when Dazai first brought you into the office and introduced you as his girlfriend. The look of shock on everyone’s faces you did not miss. They recovered quickly, but it still worried you.

That time when you were helping him with some paperwork, when he left to go to the restroom and only you and Atsushi were there. The weretiger had asked how you were doing, being with someone as suicidal as he. That wasn’t your concern though, because you already knew how Dazai felt about life and death. No. What concerned you was when Atsushi had so casually remarked on how astonishing it was that Dazai would even find a girlfriend, given his womanising nature.

A bandaged hand waves in front of your face.

Dazai asks if you’re alright, and what other answer is there than “I’m fine”? So you say it anyway, even if it’s an obvious lie.

And there it is again — Dazai believing you. Going back to the previous conversation. Not even so much as an “are you sure?” You know what he’s like — Kunikida and the others have always given his mind praise, even if his work attitude seems to be a total miss. They always mention how he’s able to see through people and their lies, how he’s always one step ahead of everyone else.

Then why? Why, if he truly was able to see through you — and you’re sure he can — why does he leave you be? Does he not care? Did he already know somehow and doesn’t bother to say a thing?

Images of your parents flash in your mind. The fake smiles, the happy charades, the “joyous” moments you thought you would all be able to recreate. You remember your mother smiling through the nights your father didn’t come back. You remember how tirelessly she worked for you, to support you. You remember her coming back after work, all despondent, but putting on an act the moment you came out of your room. But you knew, of course, that she was putting on a mask.

A mask — just like your father did.

When he came back smelling like women’s perfume, and your mother didn’t even question him. When he rarely came back at all sometimes, and she greeted him all the same. When he got angry and told her she didn’t even look like a woman to him anymore. But the moment you came out? There they were again — the masks. Your parents would hug each other and assure you everything was alright, giving each other pecks on the cheeks.

And just like your mother, you ignored the problem. Because you were afraid. Afraid of what might happen if it’s confronted.

But everyone breaks. And so did your family.

The masks never helped — they were but a hindrance. The masks they wore made them unhappy for years, unhappy ever since you were a kid. Those masks, those cursed masks, delayed their happiness.

A mask — just like Dazai always wears.

That thick comedic mask of his. Is there anything else he hides? He’s much more intelligent than you are; even if there is, you certainly wouldn’t be able to tell.

No, no, you convince yourself. He’s not anything like your father, he’s not wishy-washy, especially not when it comes to relationships. If he doesn’t like you, he won’t even bother. You’d be able to tell. So why? Why is the fear still here?

“Hey, what’s wrong?” Dazai’s voice snaps you out of your reverie. A worried expression is plastered on his face, and only then do you realise you’ve started tearing up. Your mind tries to think up excuses to mask your insecurities — and then you realise it’s you. You’re the one with a mask on this entire time. You’re the one who’s afraid to voice out your feelings. You’re the one not being fair by not being truthful with the man you love.

And you find this laughable. If you truly love him, why are you so afraid?

In a moment of panic, you run out the bar doors, never looking back. Not even when you hear his footsteps hurriedly chase after you, not even when you start to get drenched in the downpour, not even when you hear him yell out for you. You just know you hate yourself in this moment, and that you definitely don’t deserve someone like him. He’s always tried his best to be open with you about everything — his thoughts, his attempts. But you? You hide behind your walls, and then you even try to blame him for not attempting to break them down, when in reality, he’s just trying to give you space in case you feel uncomfortable. You know that. Why do you shield yourself so?

Dazai isn’t the despicable one here, so is it you?

You shut people away, then blame them for not coming close. You yell at the voices in your head to stop, but you’re the one making them. You blame yourself for everything, yet you still do nothing to change it. You —

An embrace from behind steals all the strength from your knees and you buckle to the ground, your wails — and your thoughts — being drowned out by the sound of the cars driving past. You choke out an apology to Dazai for being like this, and your heart aches when you realise he’s not even mad. The tone in his voice is just that of concern; his embrace nothing but warm and comforting. And as you force yourself to turn back and look into his hazelnut eyes, all you see is love.

“Let me take you back, okay?” Dazai tells you, his brown hair sticking to his face in this rain, his smile nothing but genuine as he looks down and waits for you to answer. In that moment, you know he’d do anything for you. Even if it is something this trivial, like squatting in this pouring rain and listening to you rant — he’d do it.

And as you nod, his smile gets a little wider and he presses his lips on your forehead.

“My precious belladonna.”

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

You realise then, that your biggest insecurity is that Dazai would view you how you viewed yourself.

Your parents didn’t have the greatest relationship, and you blame yourself for it. And god knows why. But it makes you feel like you ruin relationships, that it’s because of you that they put on those masks in the first place. If you weren’t there, maybe they could’ve been happier sooner. But who can tell? Because what’s happened happened. And you still blame yourself.

But your fears prove redundant, because Dazai doesn’t feel the least bit repulsed that you are feeling insecure over the smallest (in your own words) things.

You spill the beans as soon as you’re both changed out into more comfortable, dry clothes. The heavy downpour caused a power outage, but neither of you cared. In the spill of the moonlight, Dazai holds you in his arms as he listens to you, in a way to shield you from how concerned he looks as he does. He did guess it has to do with your family, but never did he consider that you blame yourself this much.

He regrets not pursuing the matter, not asking you about it. He had assumed you needed time alone to get over it, that maybe it’s something personal you wanted to handle yourself. And so he tries his best to really listen to you tonight.

Dazai doesn’t understand, no matter how hard he tries. He doesn’t understand how it feels like to miss a happy family. His life has been enshrouded in darkness since he can remember. At least, until he joined the agency, where the light started peeking into his abyss. And it got even stronger the moment he met you.

There is one thing he understands, though.

When you say you ruin everything you touch. Every relationship, you ruin it. Even if you don’t mean to. And you lose people because you just aren’t enough. It reminds Dazai of someone who was once dear to him, but he shrugs the feeling away. Now, in this moment, he needs to be there for you, to be strong for you. And he smiles thinking of the reason — because he loves you.

This mask, the one he wears this time, the strong front he puts on — this one's for you.

“My lovely belladonna,” he whispers in your ear once you’re finished. You look up at him once more, and it’s like there’s even more love in his brown orbs. “I promise you, I will never do anything like that to you. I will always be honest with you, because I can’t imagine being with anyone else.”

It’s true, because you’re different from other people. Not that Dazai is going to pour his feelings out and explain it to you, because it doesn’t come naturally to him, but a fire is burning within him; a strong desire to make sure you know you’re loved, and that he’d always try to make you happy.

Your masks have finally come off, and Dazai can see the relief in your eyes as they do. He presses his forehead against yours, and gazes at you, praying that you can feel his sincerity in his words.

“I’m sure your parents never blamed you for anything, and that you’re actually the light of their life, the one regret they never had, because I feel the same,” he assures you, his voice low and steady. “I love you, and I will put everything I have into never letting you down, for the rest of my life.”

“The rest of your life?”

You can hardly believe it. Dazai hardly makes promises about anything, let alone anything to do with the future. And yet here he is, putting his all into making sure you wouldn’t feel like this anymore.

“The rest of my life.”

And he does.

tags: @yokelish @gogolparadise @fyowyn-writes

#bsd #bungou stray dogs #bsd dazai #bungo stray dogs #bsd oneshot #bsd scenarios #bsd x reader #rachwrote #bsd dazai x reader #bsd dazai osamu #dazai x reader #dazai osamu x reader #bsd imagines #bungo stray dogs dazai #bungou stray dogs dazai #bungo stray dogs x reader #bsd angst #bsd fluff #bungou stray dogs x reader

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thegreatobsesso · 3 years

Text

OCtober, day 17: Embrace.

Based on this prompt list from @oc-growth-and-development!

— 🍂🍁🎃🍁🍂 —

FTW when you just want to stay angry but ur an empath and you just can’t ❤️

@thelaughingstag #tag the stag :)

— 🍂🍁🎃🍁🍂 —

Callie POV

Bennett just shook his head; he was at a loss, and so was she. She had no good reason for why she wanted to hurt him unless she looked deep, really deep, in places she didn’t want to touch - they were too hidden in dust, untouched for too long, full of mold and bugs.

“This isn’t healthy,” he muttered. “I need some space. I, I’m going to my room. You sleep on the couch.”

“Bennett, I…”

She fished for words, any words that might start to fix this, as he stomped up the spiral stairs and slammed the door shut overhead. A drop of relief plunked into the sea of pain she’d caused him from across the bridge; relief, at being away from her.

No. Fuck this. Fuck the mold and the bugs and the dust. She couldn’t leave it this way. Bennett had nothing wrong.

She followed him, banged on the door, and nearly regretted it when it flew open.

“You’re pushing me until I break,” he said, his voice raised, strangled in a way she’d never heard before. “And I’m right there, Callie. We might be stuck together, but I’m not your punching bag, and I’m tired of this bullshit. Tell me why you’re doing this. No more mind games, lay it out now or get out of my face.”

She swallowed. He was leaning out of the door, a hand on the doorframe, taller than her, more powerful than her, angry, and she’d still never been more sure she was safe around someone in her whole life.

“You’re so fucking nice to me,” she said, forcing the words from her throat. “And I don’t deserve it and I don’t know how to handle it and I don’t understand it, why are you so fucking nice to me?”

His expression softened a fraction; he squeezed the bridge of his nose under his glasses. “You make it hard,” he said wearily.

“I know, I just… I want you hate me. You should hate me, why don’t you?”

“Would you be happy then?” he asked, like he really did wanna know the answer. “Because I’m getting closer. You don’t like me being nice to you? The look on your face right now - I don’t think you like me being mean to you either, do you?”

Her throat tightened. “No.”

“Then stop trying to drive me insane.” There was the edge again, the way he articulated his words.

She nodded. “Okay,” she said quietly, her voice cracking.

“Oh for god’s-” He blinked slowly, staring at her in disbelief. “Are you seriously gonna cry?”

“No,” she said, and then hid her face and started crying.

“I’m sorry,” she choked between sobs. Words, sounds - all that was left, really.

“For what?” Bennett asked. He was just leaning on the doorframe watching her, sounding dreadfully tired. “Everything, or the last five minutes?”

She sniffled. “I guess both.”

He was cracking under it; he wanted to be mad at her longer but his ability wouldn’t let him. He stepped forward and put his arms around her. “Fine,” he grumbled.

The moment she told him she was sorry was supposed to happen when their lives were on the line, or something. When the world was crashing down and there was nothing left to lose. Not just standing outside his bedroom, in such a wishy-washy way he actually had to ask what she meant.

He gave good hugs though, even though he was still angry. His long arms wrapped easily around her, like an octopus. “I’m sorry,” she said again, this time just to see what it felt like.

It didn’t actually tear her apart on its way out like she thought it would. It felt alright. And across the bridge, it chipped steadily away at Bennett’s irritation, which was only hanging on by a thread now as she sniffled into his jacket.

I’d like to take this moment to gush over these two, because I really just love them. I have almost no sense of having made them myself. They feel like two people who came to me and I am just doing my best to do them justice, to find some way to show the tenderness that exists between them, the begrudging fondness, the intimate way they know each other inside out and how with almost anybody else that’d be enough to probably make one or both of them explode but with them and exactly the way they both are, in some totally bizarre way, it works.

Callie is a wild feral mess who just wants to be hated the way she hates herself, and Simon is an unguarded compassionate soul who’s the only one that can see past that. And it’s friendship that transcends like, everything. And my frikken book is as long as it is because that kinda thing is slow-burn or bust for me. I can’t color it in all the shades it needs without making the whole thing ginormously long, so Bob’s your uncle.

#oc-tober #oc-tober day 17: embrace #tw: swears #oc: callie #oc: simon #disaster friends #writing #writing snippet #original novel #original writing #writeblr

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kam-tree · 4 years

Text

how BiNu confessed

Hello! I’m back~ It’s exam season but here I am. I hope you guys like it! Don’t be shy and request anything if you would like.

Theme: Fluff

Eunwoo

hey, I’m sorry I’m busy today! Just reminding you I love you

A smile painted your face as you sent a reply back to your boyfriend, Eunwoo. You were a little sad that Eunwoo had a schedule today but it is what it is right? It’s his job after all. Although you missed seeing him, he always made an effort to video call every night and occasionally would drop by your apartment at night before heading back to the dorms. He always tried his best and for that you loved him dearly.

That’s alright! I’ll enjoy this nice day for the both of us~ Keep working hard! I love you

After sending your message, you were immediately met with a cute emoticon. Giggling like a 5 year old, you sent one back. Truthfully everyday seemed like a dream. It was such a blessing you met Eunwoo and the fact you were in a relationship with him still felt surreal. He was such a caring and selfless man, always considerate and hard working. When you first met him, it was a little hard to believe how polite and caring of a human being he was. You didn’t know if he acted this way because he had an image to up hold or not. But your doubt was eventually proven wrong after some drinks and a very real and raw conversation.

You still remember the smell and sounds of the tent bar. The loud business men coming to drink after a long day of work, the group college students ignoring their final assignments and the smell of soju. Eunwoo and you weren’t very close friends back then and it was certainly awkward when your mutual friend didn’t show up. However 3 bottles of soju seemed to do the trick and helped you both let loose and start talking about your dreams and insecurities. It was refreshing getting to know Eunwoo and his mind. At the moment you really admired him as a person, how hard working he was and how considerate he was. You felt horrible for misjudging him and doubting him. It was probably then when your feelings for him started.

It took eight more months for anything to actually start. You tried your hardest to stop your feelings for him as you didn’t want them ruining your friendship. Anyway, how could he feel the same way about you anyway? That’s why you were taken aback when you were both resting on the couch on your apartment and he suddenly became agitated. You had invited some friends over just to have a little breather and you were all playing charades.

At first you thought he was just frustrated because his team couldn’t play for shit and yours won as the game ended with 9-5. Rocky had you on his back as you both celebrated your win with your two other teammates. You were laughing while holding Rocky tightly so you wouldn’t fall as he began dancing when you felt an icy stare coming from somewhere. Your eyes met Eunwoo’s and you were slightly taken aback by the glare he held on his face. Confused, you watch him flee to the kitchen. You got off Rocky as gave another ‘whoop’ before making a beeline to the kitchen.

“Look, if I’ve done anything wrong, let me know. I can’t read your mind and glaring won’t help either ok?” You spoke bluntly as you found it rare that he would be this childish.

“I just- I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to glare.” He said as he brushed his hair back and swallowing a lump in his throat.

“Well I can still see your not in a very good mood. Do you want to step out and talk about it?” You offered with a smile while taking his hand and staring into his eyes. You swear you melted right then and there. He seemed to think about it before nodding and letting you lead the way to the door.

“Damn it, it’s cold” you muttered to yourself as you left the warmth of your apartment. You felt a pair of arms wrap around you and suddenly it felt like you were in a sauna. Trying to get rid of the blush on your cheeks, you wriggle out of his embrace.

“Don’t worry, I’ll survive. Now tell me what’s been plaguing your mind.” You said turning around, trying to not be flustered. Although you felt safe in his arms; as if you belonged, you didn’t want to give yourself false hope. To him it might just be an innocent hug but it sent butterflies to your stomach.

“I have feelings for someone and I don’t think they’ll return them.” He said as he stepped back and met your eyes. You felt your stomach drop. Ignoring the slight pain in your chest, you turn to look at him as he stares back at you.

“Ahh, I see. How would you know if you haven’t heard that person’s answer? There’s a 50% chance they’ll return them or not. But seeing as to how you act like the perfect gentleman, the chances are probably higher.” You smiled before looking away, trying to not let him see the slight pain in your face.

“Is that so?” He said as he moved to were your eyes were looking off to and waited until your eyes met his. “What are the chances of you returning my feelings?”

“What?” Honestly, you were so confused. What was happening? Is what you were thinking happening? He smiled before holding your hand in his.

“I like you Y/N” A blush seem to creep on both of your faces. Unable to meet his gaze, you nod.

“Me too” You felt time stop as he smiled at you and pulled you into a tight embrace against his chest.

“Thank god.” He sighed in relief before planting a light peck on your lips.

Moonbin

“You made all this?” Moonbin said with excitement and disbelief as he stared at the six lunch boxes in front of him; one for each member of Astro. “Thank you so much!” And with that, you were engulfed into a big bear hug.

You dramatically gasp for breath before he pulls away and places a kiss on your forehead. Smiling up at the man, you realise how awfully tired he looked. A pout soon graced your face, Moonbin noticing immediately. He stroked you hair and put his chin on your head, pulling you into a gentle and warm hug.

“I’m alright. I have your food to energise me through the day! Don’t worry about me.” He said gently.

“I know I shouldn’t worry, I just wish you could have a day off and sleep like sleeping beauty. To rest properly.” You mumbled into his shirt. You feel him kiss you head before pulling away and looking into your eyes.

“My day off’s on Sunday, I’ll make sure to sleep like the dead.” He laughed before turning to the door “I’m super late! I’ll text you when I get there and when I should be home. I love you~” And with a kiss goodbye, he was out the door.

Watching him leave in a rush always made you laugh, his poor time management was always the product of him sleeping in. It always worried you how he’d come home late and leave early for his schedules. He practiced like crazy as well. It also reminded you of when you first met.

Your friend wanted to introduce you to a dancer as you expressed an interest in it. You were hesitant, as your interest was only a passing comment and not meant to be taken seriously, however you also suspected this was your friend’s way of setting you up with someone. They had been constantly asking you if you were seeing anyone for the past year. You were too busy with your part time job and being a full time student in culinary school. With some persuasion, you finally went with your friend to meet this man. Honestly you kind of judged Moonbin when he was 20 minutes late. You were thinking about how you could have been studying for an upcoming exam and here you were, waiting for some dude. However after talking to man, you seemed to become smitten with him. He was funny and gentle but was also ready to fight with anyone who thought cats were annoying.

As cheesy as it is to say, time seemed to stop. You didn’t really pay mind to your friend leaving you two alone and you also didn’t realise the sun was already beginning to set. You realised that this man was a breath of fresh air to you so when he asked for you number as you were both about to part ways, you absolutely did not hesitate.

Your relationship was little complicated for the next 4 months. It was like you were a couple but at the same time you weren’t official. Both of you would go on dates, talk late at night and would have movie nights in your apartment. You both knew that each other was interested but neither had actually spoken about it. It was a strange and weird situation to be in.

At first it made you heart flutter every time your hands would brush past each others or when your faces would be so close to a kiss. But soon you grew a little tired of it. Moonbin seemed to be the person you could count on whenever you wanted to rant about school or your co workers and would always taste you dishes with very honest feedback, however you were tired of this wishy washy relationship you both had. As much as you knew that Moonbin was a kind and caring man, you insecurities started to overtake your mind. You often wondered if he was like this another girl, he was an awfully handsome and talented man so who wouldn’t want to have him?

You began to think he only saw you as some fun on the side.

Your chain of thought was disrupted when you heard a knock at your door. Ah, that’s right, Moonbin said he was coming over after recording. Opening the door, you were greeted with a smile that could easily turn you into a puddle. He had said he couldn’t stay long as he needed to back at the dorms before 10pm. A little confused as to why he would bother coming over if he needed to leave in 45 minutes, you followed him into the apartment.

“Then why are you coming to visit then silly?” You said in a playful tone as you offered him some gimbap you made. You were shocked when he rejected them. What as going on? Moonbin rejecting food? And then it dawned on you. He was probably gonna tell you that he wasn’t interested and only saw you as friend.

“I’m sorry I should have done this earlier” You braced yourself for the rejection as your hands found the hem of you shirt and played around with it. He looked into you eyes with an intensity you had never seen before and it made you nervous. As you felt some tear beginning to form, you look away from his gaze.

“I like you. Like a lot. I’m sorry for not telling you early enough. I was just shy and didn’t know if you would like me back.” what? You looked back at him in confusion. Your mind went blank and you were left to just stare, no words seeming to form.

When you didn’t reply back, his head hung down for little bit before he looked back up at you with a bittersweet smile. “It’s ok, you don’t have to say anything. I just wanted to confess my feelings.” As he was about to reach for the door handle, you snapped out of your trance and rushed to stop him.

He was caught by surprise when he left your arms embrace him from the back. You didn’t trust yourself to talk to him with his eyes on you so you mumbled it into his back. “I like you too. I like so much. I didn’t know if you actually liked me or if you were just having some fun” He quickly turned around to your words and cupped your face.

“Of course I like you. How could I not?” Moonbin smiled as he kissed your forehead and then your lips.

#astro #astro fluff #astro scenarios #astro imagines #astro moonbin #astro eunwoo #moonbin #cha eunwoo #eunwoo #moonbin fluff #moonbin scenarios #eunwoo fluff #cha eunwoo fluff #eunwoo scenarios #cha eunwoo scenarios #fluff #moonbin imagines #cha eunwoo imagines #eunwoo imagines

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cherry-interlude · 3 years

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Lana Del Rey Album Songs Ranking (Remade)

It’s been a few years since I ranked all of Lana’s (album) songs so I wanted to do it again. This is all my OPINION, which I’m sure some people might disagree with, but you don’t have to agree with it. This is also a very long post.

Don’t Let Me Be Misunderstood

This cover song is just a little too drab and uninteresting to me, and I never listen to it. After the brilliant, sprawling, sexy, heart-breaking tracks on Honeymoon, this feels like a tacked-on track just to plump up the album. It feels simply like a cover.

For Free

Though this is a well-made song, with three brilliant women owning the track, it again just feels like a cover. It fits in well with Chemtrails, but by the time I get to this song I’ve had my fill.

Breaking Up Slowly

It just feels repetitive and simple, something only to have on in the background while my attention is diverted. It’s a good song and a nice attempt at bringing Lana’s country music in, but it does little to keep me interested.

God Knows I Tried

This song is filler. Jammed between the jazzy softness of Terrence Loves You and the pop favourite High By The Beach, this track just feels like it was sort of shoved in. It doesn’t even feel completely right on Honeymoon, instead a throwaway song that bridges Ultraviolence and Honeymoon whilst not fitting in with either album.

Though perfect for the credits of a Hollywood movie, 24 has plenty of flair but nothing of substance. The lyrics aren’t as imaginative as most of Lana’s music and I’m not surprised this song found itself near the end of the album.

Lucky Ones

Personally, this song irritates me. It's sickly in its lyrics, sugary in the romance and classic Lana tropes of dangerous men and Lana starstruck by them no matter if they’re ‘careless cons and crazy liars’. The little flair of the verses and the overtly sweet chorus really irks me, especially following the brilliance that is Lana’s first ‘Del Rey’ album.

Coachella

It is a rushed track, sounding completely unfinished and hurried with an unconvincing track beat. Polished, it would be brilliant – but it sounds like Lana thought of the song (which sounds promising in the video where she sits in the forest and sings) and had to force it to ‘fit in’ with the trap-pop tracks on Lust For Life. The lyrics are thoughtful, if not cliché, but it could have been done better.

This Is What Makes Us Girls

It just doesn’t appeal to me. Maybe because I can’t connect to the lyrics in any way, I just don’t feel anything when I hear this song and choose to skip it. That being said, the demos are pretty fun.

God Bless America

As much as it’s a song honouring women during a period of time when feminism was being shaken, it doesn’t quite feel like Lana’s heart is in it. The patriotism is uneasy considering she was removing herself from the American flag and its associations, and the anthemic feel never lifts. It’s a sweet song, but never goes deeper than surface level.

Religion

Though fairly sexy and haunting – her unshaken faith to her man, her drawling voice – this delicate track is too simple and sombre for me to get completely into it. I always want to skip and get to my favourites.

In My Feelings

It’s great Lana has a bad-girl, bad-bitch, fuck-you pop track but this, like Coachella, feels unfinished. It has the vibe of work in progress, and the vocals are still messy (surely intentionally, though it doesn’t always come across that way) as well as trying slightly too hard. It doesn’t compare to Fucked My Way Up To The Top.

Beautiful People Beautiful Problems

The verses don’t match up to the choruses and I feel nothing – not empowered or emotional – when listening to this song, but it is a beautiful duet between Lana and Stevie. Their voices really are divine together and though I don’t listen to this song much, the demos are even better.

Change

Mostly because it freaks me out, this is a song I don’t often listen to. With a basic structure yet long, meandering lyrics, Lana broods over the state of America at the time, which can make for depressive listening. Though it’s a pretty enough song, it’s seriousness is too much to bear sometimes.

Blue Velvet

Sometimes too slow, Blue Velvet doesn’t inspire multiple listens in me, but it is a gorgeous cover and absolutely a showcase of Lana’s vocals.

Diet Mountain Dew

A cheeky little track that won many over, it still is hard for me to fully get into it. However, it ages like fine wine and is a wonderful step into the Lizzy Grant unreleased tracks (especially with the many, sometimes even better demos).

Burning Desire

It’s a messy song, with Lana’s vocals shaky and the instrumental not quite up to scratch, but this song is certainly a guilty pleasure and great for getting into the sexy mood. The car metaphors are a bit much, especially considering it’s for a car advert, but if you get past that it’s a song to add to your freaky playlist.

Money Power Glory

As powerful and dark as this song is, with incredible instrumentals and Lana at her most dynamic, I barely remember the lyrics of the verses, instead waiting for the rich choruses.

Swan Song

A gentle track that has a lot of untapped power behind it, this is a quiet stormer of a song that has a lot of heart and grace. It may be a filler track, but it is definitely better than some.

Bartender

Even more gentle is the confessional, piano-led Bartender, which is a sweet little love song stripped back much like Lana’s simple romance where she sneaks out to see her lover. The main (and probably ridiculous) thing that keeps me from falling in love with this song more – though I’m already pretty amazed by it – is the very quiet sound of feedback that comes and goes, a fuzzy noise that is very subtle but distracting enough for me.

The Next Best American Record

This song would be higher if it was Architecture – the gorgeous, well-thought stunner that wowed us all when it was leaked. The lyrics are less fractured relationship and more wishy washy, wiping away the gritty sadness that made Architecture so beloved (at least to me). Now it’s been made ‘happier’, it’s hard to tell what the song is – is Lana happy with her lover or is she sad like in the unreleased version? Is this a break up song or a celebration of the romance? What does it mean now that it is both of them that are obsessed with writing? It’s something for me to certainly explore more, but it is paled in comparison to the original.

When The World Was At War

This track grew on me, with the hidden lyrics, fun vocals and hopeful message. Lana knows how to make a song that lifts your mood and this is certainly one of them.

Guns and Roses

I used to despise this song – finding it boring and dull. However, after giving it a listen years later, it is in fact a beautiful song with a gritty feel that is perfect for Ultraviolence. It fits in perfectly with the album and the extended tracks, and though it isn’t the strongest lyrically, the vocals and dreamy feel is thrilling.

Lolita

I choose to listen to this song without the underage character – or romantic connotations of her – in mind, instead seeing this song as a grown woman trying to charm an older man. However, as I have grown older – and read (and loved) the book several times more – I feel more inclined to distance myself from this song. It’s a fun, perky pop track but it definitely feels dated.

Dance Till We Die

Lana sings of her connection to other famous female singers and her daughter’s chosen name, making this a very personal pop song that also reminds of When The World Was At War for its hopeful and ultimately positive edge. It is a little slow but incredible touching, and the bridge is so kickass you can’t help but dance along.

Not All Who Wander Are Lost

This is a very sweet little song that again showcases the more positive side of Lana’s music, rather than the heartbroken and distressed women she tends to play. Though it is a filler song it’s a very pretty one and so catchy.

Wild At Heart

Wild At Heart is similar to Not All Who Wander Are Lost in that it’s a departure from a tragic femme fatale, instead a love song that also mimics Swan Song in that she considers leaving fame for her lover. What makes it even better is how Lana samples How To Disappear, a much sadder track, and twists it into something happy with this ultimately more upbeat album.

Radio

Like Diet Mountain Dew, Radio is another perky tune that is more than just a catchy filler. It’s a little bit sassy and has an edge to it (with the expletives and how her life is sweet not like sugar but cinnamon) that keeps it from being too frothy. Speaking of Lana’s newfound fame, it’s a nice break from the love ballads and tragedies peppered throughout Born To Die.

Without You

Shockingly dramatic, Without You is the ultimate symbol of Lana’s older music – a woman who could only feel happy unless her man was in her life. She has definitely moved on for the most part from wailing her demise at losing her lover but Without You is still glamorous, catchy and perfect to singalong to.

The Other Woman

This is one of Lana’s best covers – Nina Simone’s song about being the other woman and how it is in fact lonely and heart-breaking. Lana makes the song her own, her vocals stunning and lo-fi with instrumentals that are perfect for Ultraviolence.

How To Disappear

I feel that the live version of How To Disappear, where she sung it on stage before it was released with its real instrumental, is the superior version. It’s stripped back and tender enough to feel the emotion thoroughly, but the album version doesn’t disappoint. It’s one of many great tracks from (what I think is) her best album, and has a great story within it.

Fucked My Way Up To The Top

Lana’s satirical, sexy and stirring Fucked My Way Up To The Top was just tongue-in-cheek enough to keep from being too much of a cliché. Perhaps based on her real experiences but definitely a fuck-you to anyone who critiques her for owning her sexuality, it’s a little bit controversial but an incredible song.

Tomorrow Never Came

This song, which is a gorgeous duet with Sean Ono Lennon and a nice nod to 20th century music, subverts expectations that it is a sad song by in fact including a happy ending. I love how it can make you cry with both sadness and happiness, and tells a sweet story that paints pictures of parks and country houses.

Yosemite

The long-awaited Yosemite didn’t disappoint, and though it took a while to grow on me it became a classic and somehow familiar track. It’s impossible to not sing or dance to it and wouldn’t be out of place in Lust For Life.

Hope Is A Dangerous Thing

It’s quite slow – the Change/24/Old Money of Norman Fucking Rockwell – but it is clearly a personal and well-thought song that references Lana’s great inspiration Sylvia Plath. Lana’s deft at getting her thoughts out in song and I think though it’s not a song I often listen to, it is beautiful.

Honeymoon

The sweeping violins, dramatic vocals and the dangerous undercurrent makes Honeymoon crackle with electricity. It’s an amazing introduction to an album that once again has dangerous men, bad girls who get hurt but are strong again and amazing instrumentals. Though it’s not the best song from the album, it sets the tone perfectly.

Million Dollar Man

Like Without You, it’s another song of complete devastation, which Lana has grown from in her music. Million Dollar Man shows some great vocals and lyrics, and gets the emotion out perfectly whilst honouring the music that inspired her.

Old Money

The verses are pretty enough but they don’t catch my attention the way the choruses do. The slow, steady song took a long time for me to really appreciate but it’s impossible not to feel some kind of emotion when Lana lets her lover know she will be with them whenever they need her.

Sad Girl

Like The Other Woman, Sad Girl shows how being the other woman has it’s downfalls but appreciates the sexy, exciting side of it – how alluring her man is and how much of a bad bitch she may be. Once again, it’s a pure Ultraviolence song that shows Lana’s vocals and music in the best way whilst showcasing the classic caricature of the femme fatale.

Dark Paradise

Strangely upbeat for such a sad song, Dark Paradise is great to dance to but also something that makes you want to cry. Lana’s vocalisations and dramatic lyrics don’t quite compare to some of her other songs but Dark Paradise is iconic.

Summertime Sadness

The slow-burn, emotional gut punch that is Summertime Sadness is always a classic and one of Lana’s best. Though it is far from my personal favourite it is absolutely an outstanding song and the perfect example of Lana’s most well-made and well-delivered songs.

Gods and Monsters

The strained Gods and Monsters is a great tale about the evil side of fame, which Lana never quite delves too deeply into but gives a metaphorical and mildly personal nod to. Gods and Monsters is one of those songs that has you singing along and feeling strong.

Carmen

Carmen is a beautiful, sad story that feels rich and luxurious despite its harrowing lyrics of an alcoholic star. The French bridge adds to the decadence and it feels like a dirty alcohol bottle wrapped in silk, from the tentative verses to the unnerving chorus.

Born To Die

One of Lana’s original pop chart tracks, this is a song that never grows old. It’s one of the blueprints of the Lana Del Rey era and deftly shows her vocals whilst setting the tone for the pessimistic, romantic star in the early 2010s.

Salvatore

Opening with laughing – or crying – Salvatore has an eerie feel to it, though it is completely erotic in feel (enough to ignore some of the simpler lyrics). It is a song that feels dreamy, much like the rest of Honeymoon, but passionate and reminding of some of her older music (from the vocals in the bridge that have a Lolita/Fucked My Way Up To The Top feel to them to the continued trope of bad boys and glamour).

Flipside

Dirty, gritty and quite contained, Flipside is a song that I wished had more attention. It’s not her most imaginative song but there’s something about it, from the gloomy guitars to the hushed vocals, that have me wanting to sing it over and over. It also is one of her great fuck-off songs, as sympathetic as it is resilient.

Doin’ Time

Lana really turns this song into her own with the summery instrumentals and the pop edge she is so good at. It’s surprisingly one of her best covers and a fresh-feeling track that isn’t bogged down by emotion or maudlin music.

Lust For Life

Breathless and oh-so-romantic, Lust For Life is one of those songs that was perfect for the charts, and a key piece in Lana’s turn into becoming more positive. However, as fun and lovely as this song is, the demos are a whole other ball game. A little more ethereal, they fit Lana much more perfectly and it’s sad she dismissed the witchy feel for a song that is brilliant but generic.

Love

One of Lana’s warmest and most refreshing songs, she looks at love with fondness and dedicates this track to her ‘kids’. She knows her fans well and to make a song that references them (much like Happiness Is A Butterfly’s nod to her ‘babies’) makes this song all the more pleasant.

The Greatest

Lana’s vocals are put to good use in this intimately-written song. She speaks her mind in her reminiscence of the past and the worries for the future, all with a storming chorus that is certainly one of her best.

Love Song

Tender and almost tentative, Love Song is one of those tracks that is romantic through-and-through. It’s stripped back enough to feel like it really is a private song for only her lover’s ears, just as confessional as Cinnamon Girl and Bartender.

White Mustang

Short but sweet, this song has all the makings of a Lana Del Rey song, harking back to the Born To Die days with her imagery and fallen love affair, but it is spiky enough to be part of her later music where she starts giving less shits. The whistling and race cars are a nice touch, displaying her play on words snugly.

Dark But Just A Game

Sort of jazzy, Dark But Just A Game is ever-shifting and never quite settles on a particular sound. It’s cohesive, however, and clearly states what Lana is thinking in a way that works with the rest of Chemtrails. It’s pretty sexy as well, which doesn’t hurt the enjoyability factor.

High By The Beach

The wooziness, the carelessness and the growth from a woman begging to be put in a movie to a woman who is able to do as she pleases. Lana stumbles and swears through the song but knows exactly what she wants – and it isn’t disappointing men or stalking paparazzi.

Let Me Love You Like A Woman

Some may think it much slower and more boring than a lot of her tracks, but I think it’s a tidy, sweet track. Lana plainly states her love, urges her man to run away with her and lets her emotions (and voice) do the talking.

Summer Bummer

Lana is as restless as a hot summer in this song and it works. Her brisk-paced yet soft-voiced lyrics and gorgeous imagery gets my pulse racing, and ASAP Rocky’s verse works well for it. Though it would have been interesting to get a full, solo Summer Bummer, Rocky adds an edge to this song and compliments his ‘lover’ well.

Groupie Love

Much more flowery and wide-eyed, Groupie Love is like a contradiction. Lana’s passionate dalliance with Rocky’s god-like star opposes the relationship in Summer Bummer (uncertain) but both are just as secret. Groupie Love has the edge of being ultra-dreamy and demonstrating pure love – and lust – without the messiness.

American

It’s a filler track that has potential for much more. It’s an adorable song, almost cautious in its lead-up to the satisfying chorus, and is filled with Lana tropes galore. Following Lana’s stressed Ride and coming before the darkly sensual Cola, American is a breath of fresh air.

National Anthem

What an anthem it is. It’s simply provocative and one of her most classic tracks. Mixing love, money and fame together with a bit of sex thrown in, National Anthem is precisely what Lana’s America seems to be.

Is This Happiness?

It’s muted, mournful and resentful, questioning a relationship that Lana wants to keep but at the same time doesn’t. This is one of Lana’s best sad songs, tearful as it is still adoring beneath the exasperation.

Art Deco

Art Deco is purely dreamy, a song to bathe in. The lyrics are a little bit simple but Lana’s vocals and the flowing, aquatic music is the perfect hook.

Terrence Loves You

Lana’s jazzy song is delicate, letting only her voice and the saxophone dominate. With references to David Bowie, Lana pines for someone who hurt her badly, but she soothes herself with music the way plenty of her fans do when listening to her records.

White Dress

The vocals were a surprise at first – high, strained whispers – but they definitely grew on me. Painting a picture of young Lana loving life and dreaming of bigger things, it’s nostalgic in lyrics but also reminds of some of Lana’s old work – her unreleased tracks where she would serve coke and fries.

Chemtrails

It gets better as it goes on, growing and twisting from a song to sunbathe to into a restless, darkening track. It has the best vibe for an idealised world with something a bit off, and the imagery of pools, jewels and schools grounds Lana into a (very, very rich) normality rather than the glamorous star she always liked to portray.

13 Beaches

Opening with a quote from Carnival of Souls, Lana takes High By The Beach to the next level. She goes from sticking her middle finger up to the paparazzi to simply wishing she would be allowed to live her life without them hounding her. It’s a matured approach that uses sound interestingly, with beeps and whines adding a strange texture to the song.

Cola

The controversial line was intended as humour, but strangely it works. Even if Cola is satire like Fucked My Way Up To The Top, Lana owns the ‘other woman’, the patriotic singer, the sexy and unashamed woman who says what she thinks without caring of the consequences. It’s an iconic song, even if you have to turn the volume down to not offend.

Black Beauty

The unreleased version is ten times more emotive, with its stripped back and lonesome feel, but the album version is just as good. The ultimately loving but unhappy lyrics are full of stunning imagery, and this is a song that would have been perfect with a music video.

Body Electric

Blasphemous as much as it honours icons, Lana sinfully owns Body Electric. The bridge is a bit out of place but Lana’s eyebrow-raising approach to religion and sexuality is genius.

Off To The Races

The best demonstration of Lana’s vocals, Lana plays the glam girl without a care just as well as the Lolita-type, needy lover in this ode to money and her man. The soaring bridge is stunning, and the swirling violins add an air of Hollywood to it.

Bel Air

Completely overlooked (in my opinion), Bel Air is an apologetic song of redemption, a shining and honest track that is as touching as much as it is hazy and tranquil. With soft piano and the sound of children opening and closing the song respectively, it’s set apart from Paradise with a pureness that Lana pulls off well.

Ultraviolence

Controversial at the time and still controversial now, Ultraviolence is about being weak, about giving in to love no matter how toxic. I don’t entirely support the lyrics but it’s a stunning song, lo-fi enough to feel uneasy and haunting. When you shut off from the lyrics, you get a simply beautiful track.

Pretty When You Cry

Lana’s imperfect, close-to-tears vocals are wonderful in this song, and she really lets her emotion shine through. The pained guitar and Lana’s increasingly distressed singing are enough to get you feeling exactly as she does.

Florida Kilos

Fun. Fresh. Freeing. Lana’s ode to drugs is simply something to dance to and sing, and she somehow manages to get the sunny feeling across even with the Ulraviolence-esque grunginess. It’s one of my favourite songs of Lana’s because it’s just so happy, which is a nice departure from some of her heavier tracks.

Cherry

Many people’s favourite – Cherry. It was my favourite of Lana’s for a long time, dripping with sex appeal and sadness but with a cute dance to compliment it. It had all the right stuff wrapped up in a tidy, compact box and the imagery is lush. I still love this song but since then we’ve had the ‘Cherries’ of her next few albums, Cinnamon Girl and Tulsa Jesus Freak. Like these, Cherry was a song that seemed set apart from the rest of the album and was a novel take on her typical music.

California

Simply for It's meaningful, raw lyrics – promising to be there as soon as he wants her, much like in Old Money – California is a sun-soaked dream with a very honest approach. Lana isn’t completely devastated, or begging for her lover to return. She is sad but realistic, and only wants the best for him. It’s beautiful and sad with a crazily addictive chorus.

West Coast

The shift from fast-paced, grungey, whispered verses to sprawling, drawling choruses – complete with weirdly sexy beeps towards the end of the song – shook us all, and it’s one of Lana’s most interesting songs. Lana honours the West Coast but also her man, in love with the music scene as much as she is with him.

Shades of Cool

The snide verses. The gradually growing music. The guitars. The explosive chorus. The nuclear bridge. The absolutely perfect timing and pacing. Shades of Cool is flawless, another Sad Girl but with much more power, emotion and music.

The Blackest Day

The Blackest Day needs more attention. Cold in places, almost lost, but then wounded in the chorus, The Blackest Day rolls with the emotions and is the kind of song that makes you want to fall apart and sob. Which is good, in a way, as it shows how brilliantly Lana conveys emotion.

Freak

Cult-like and haunting, this is the sexy predecessor of California. Lana swoons and tempts in this track, from her harmonising to her pouting “take it to the back if you really wanna talk” - not to mention the rest of the song in its entirely, all elements married together to create the perfect seductive track.

Music To Watch Boys To

Like Art Deco, Music To Watch Boys To is fairly aquatic and dreamy. Like Freak, it has that cult vibe (the chanting of the bridge). However, this song is perfectly its own, from the mix-up of vocal styles to the shifting tone (sad to smug to obsessively in love).

Norman Fucking Rockwell

What an opener. Norman Fucking Rockwell lets the actual singing and lyrics do the talking, the instrumentals pushed back enough to let Lana’s gut-punching first line (“God damn, man child, you fucked me so good that I almost said I love you”) and her blue yet annoyed insults to her Norman Rockwell do the talking.

Mariner’s Apartment Complex

It’s a song for yourself and for the people you love. Lana is strong enough to take care of herself, to be her own guidance – and to take on her lover’s problems too. It’s an empowering song, so distant from a lot of her discography, and I adore the nautical references and the hopeful message.

Brooklyn Baby

Satire again, but it still works. Lana plays a (fairly cringey) and somewhat self-absorbed, over-confident singer who is too cool for her own boyfriend, but she does it well. From saying how she wished people didn’t judge her, to the freedom the seventies gives her, to the warm guitars and upbeat tone, to the backup vocals of Seth Kaufman, Brooklyn Baby is a song to remember for all the right reasons.

Ride

Ride is one of Lana’s best, if not the best. With her devotion to America and her open thoughts about needing other people to make her feel good and happy, Lana knocks it out of the park with the superb step up from Born To Die.

Video Games

Video Games is just beautiful, plain and simple. Lana’s low voice, telling a flowing story of the simplicities of true love, are removed from her ‘famous singer’ image she constantly tried to portray and instead open up to the heart of what she has always sung about: love and its many forms, good or bad.

Get Free

The new take on Ride was a pleasant surprise. From changing the lyrics to show she wants to move on and be happy to (silently) name-dropping her influences, Lana’s manifesto was a personal song that we could all resonate with. The outro of the beach was the perfect closer to Lust For Life, and Get Free summarised the album which took her from sad girl to someone who could let herself move on.

Heroin

Heroin is no doubt one of her best. It’s tense and dark, referencing Manson and (allegedly) a friend she lost years ago. Lana lets herself dive into her worst thoughts headfirst, not so much dreamy as it is nightmarish, but still comes out the other side dreaming of marzipan and ready to move on.

Tulsa Jesus Freak

The third of the ‘Cherries’, Tulsa Jesus Freak goes straight to a happy place. Where Cherry was angry and Cinnamon Girl was cautious, this track dives into being comfortable with her man. It was just as passionate as the other two songs but about religion, sex and self-satisfaction.

Blue Jeans

Plucking guitars, crying violins and Lana weaving a tale about a gangsta who left her, without explanation, and the hurt that follows. Similarly tied to Dark Paradise, Blue Jeans is the next level of that, her tough-girl spoken verses dismissed as the choruses open up and she pours her heart out.

Cruel World

Lana is on top-form on this song, furious, maddened, sad, taunting – she hits every emotion with style. Lana grows more and more unstable as the song goes on, invoking images of a woman scorned and no longer taking that shit, but she still has a fragility about her as she comes undone that is tied directly to her Ultraviolence era.

Happiness Is A Butterfly

This song goes through many stages. She is unsure, not knowing how her lover feels. She is optimistic, elated as she tries to capture the butterfly. She is dismissive, no longer caring if she might get hurt – she loves too much. She is pissed off, sick of being treated badly. She gives in, simply wanting to dance and just be happy. The flow of this song is constant, a little messy, but it has the beautiful message pinned to it: to keep trying to be happy and do what you love.

Fuck It I Love You

I love the music video version more than the album version, the latter being more stripped back. Fuck It I Love You just gives in to emotion, acknowledging Lana is hurt, her lover is hurt, but that doesn’t mean she doesn’t love him. She simply lets that feeling take over.

Cinnamon Girl

Cinnamon Girl touched me like no other Lana song has. Where Cherry was a mixture of emotions, good and bad, angry and loving, devastated and thrilled, Cinnamon Girl was about cautious optimism. Lana urges her lover to give in, and she knows – smiling as she sings it – she wins.

Venice Bitch

Venice Bitch just has that soothing, unhindered feel to it – and not just from the nine minutes of pure music and vibe. Lana dedicates this song to the kind of love that is just wholesome and homely, all whilst touching on her insanity, her ever-lasting love for America and the modern world (her live streams). It feels nostalgic yet contemporary, and adding the “fucks” and “bitch[es]” helps keep this song from being to sugary sweet but instead what it is – an honest love song rooted in the idealised and the realistic.

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bedtimebrain · 3 years

Text

EXO Baekhyun: Cry for Love Part 2

Just here to give a warning on the ending before you get started!! (ref to a/n in part 1!)

Part 1

Let’s go!!!

Characters: Baek x you

Baekhyun finds himself falling for you, but feels he cannot be so selfish to put the burdens of dating an idol upon you. In an attempt to control his feelings, he tries to stay away from you

That night they got to go home early. Reaching home close to 11, Baekhyun decided there was time for some computer games before sleeping.

After taking a shower, he quickly turned on his desktop, setting all his gaming gears ready. Realising his phone wasn’t with him, he went out to the living room to search for it.

‘Ah, found you!’

As he was about to head to his room after picking his phone up from the sofa, he caught sight of your gift that was sitting on the coffee table.

He can’t help but feel really conflicted, taking a long look at it.

After a good while, he forcefully shook off those feelings and went back in to get started on his game instead.

‘ARGH! what a bad form today’ he took off his headphones and threw it on the table. Ruffling through his hair, he was so frustrated at himself. No matter how he tried, he just couldn’t keep you out of his mind.

Not having the mood to play anymore, he switched off his computer and crashed into bed.

In an attempt to push you out of his mind, he busied himself with work every single day for the next few weeks. Every free time he had, he decided to fill it up with more practice, more work instead.

But he had worked so hard (just to forget you) that his immune system gave up on him. He was eventually excused from work so he doesn’t spread the virus to the members.

And the worst thing of it all? It gave him ample time to think about you.

He thought about the way you smile, the way you listened to him when he shared about anything, the way you looked, so attractively, when you made your coffees. Did you think about him? Did another oppa come by?

Sighing, he got up from bed and decided finally to open the gift you gave him from a month back.

The following day, he woke up feeling much better. But for the whole morning, he felt this annoying nudging inside of him to go see you. No matter what he did, that feeling just wouldn’t budge.

Did y/n put a spell in the tea she gave me or something.

He was almost going mad from thinking about you.

Giving up , he told himself

Just once, I’m going to drive by and look at how she’s doing. That’s all. Then when I see her being all the same, I’ll finally forget all about this, and convince myself I’m just another customer in her daily life.

The journey to your cafe seemed faster than usual today. His heart was beating so rapidly but he kept telling himself over and over

just once, doesn’t mean anything

and my heart’s just beating fast because im not completely recovered. Yep, sick people get exhausted easily.

When he had reached , he park his car where he could get a good view of you.

He was tempted to get out of his car but his mind was in chaos.

they say coffee helps with headache. Maybe I should get one in case I get a headache at home later right?

Then again, his logical self told him

Ya, Byun Baekhyun stop making up lame reasons. Just stay here.

As he was being wishy washy with himself in the car, a customer had arrived at the cafe. Dashing his hopes of having a private time with you.

Perhaps it was fate that he should admire you from his car today instead.

After getting a satisfactory treatment for his love sick heart, he drove away feeling like a small boy being fed with ice cream.

—

After that visit, it only got harder and harder to stay away. He returned again and again.

But he wasn’t the only one.

There too was another man who kept returning to your cafe, and today was the fifth time he had seen the man, which really annoyed him.

But what position was he to do anything?

I’m telling myself that I cannot have her as my girlfriend but on the other hand im getting irritated she might become someone else’s girlfriend?

He thought of a crude but relatable phrase he heard from somewhere:

I’m really just wanting to ‘hog the toilet bowl without pooping’

His train of thoughts came to an end as he arrived at the company. After getting his car parked , he went to the meeting room where they were supposed to gather.

When all the members had arrived, the staff who was in charge of the album preparation started running through the day’s agenda.

‘Okay guys, we will be doing an additional MV for one of the side tracks. It would be an autumn special MV.

Since it’s an autumn concept, we will be mainly be doing outdoor shoots. There’s only 1 indoor shoot which will be at a cafe. Anyone has any questions ? If not we will start briefing on the storyboard’

Baekhyun wasn’t able to focus on the meeting. What was he supposed to you when he’s so drawn to you but yet wasn’t sacrificial enough either to be okay with seeing you happy with another guy. In fact, it made him scared to lose you when he never had you in the first place.

Baekhyun ah, let her go. It’s good for you and her. Stop visiting her, it only breaks your heart and at the same time make you desire her more. It’s impossible between the both of you..

By the time he was a little more settled with himself, the meeting had already ended.

‘Okay, that’s all we have today. It’s Thursday today... Alright, We will start shooting on Monday since this is quite a spontaneous idea, we might be a bit back on time. We will start with the cafe shoot on Monday at 10am, only Baekhyun and kyungsoo is involved for this as the cafe is too small. We will update the rest on the schedule later.’ --

4 days passed and now he is standing in front of the cafe for his shoot. Reading the signboard ‘Wendy Cafe’.

For the dramatic effect, he even blinked his eyes again to make sure his eyes weren’t playing tricks on him. What in the world was this sorcery called fate... It felt abit weird for him to be here for work when he was normally here for his romantic pursuit. It got him into a little of a panic and shock when they alighted from the van. He wasn’t expecting to see you, since they normally made sure the set was cleared completely for set up before the members even arrive. Though his heart felt it would really be nice to see you, he also heaved a sigh of relief that he doesn’t have to think about what to say to you since you wouldn’t be here.

Entering the cafe, kyungsoo and baekhyun greeted everyone politely and got ready for the set with the help of their make up artists.

‘Annyeonghasayo Baekhyun ssi, Kyungsoo ssi. I am the director for the MV, Lee Taemin’

Quickly getting up, they bowed politely and returned the greetings.

‘Could I just explain the set to the both you right now?

So basically in today’s set one of you would be a barista, and one would just be a customer….’

The director trailed on with the briefing,

But there was something bugging Baekhyun. Baekhyun could swear there was something really familiar about this man; like he had seen him somewhere before. But he just couldn’t recall exactly right now.

‘Ok, We will have kyungsoo ssi as the barista and Baekhyun ssi the latter. A real barista will be coming in later to help you out kyungsoo ssi, don’t worry’

Finishing his brief, the director turned to leave. Then it finally clicked in Baekhyun’s mind.

Oh gawd, he’s the guy that keeps visiting y/n

Thinking it through, it now absolutely make sense.

When he arrived, he was thinking how were they even able to find this cafe for use?

He thought to himself, surely you and Director Taemin must be really close if you were willing to let your shop to him for use.

ah, but im sure y/n would let me use it too if i had asked.

He can’t help but feel a little salty instinctively.

Suddenly across the room, the director exclaimed

‘Y/N you’re here!’

At the sound of Director Taemin calling your name, his heart skipped a beat and he immediately turned his head around to find you walking through the door. And was absolutely taken away

You were not in your pony tail or your white button down shirt with a black apron. You were not in the plain make up you normally put on either.

You came through the door wearing a mid length denim skirt and a white v neck with a green khaki coat that ended at the bottom of your skirt. Your long hair sat nicely at the front of your coat.

Though he had seen a fair share of cute, pretty and sexy girls in the entertainment industry, you somehow still took his breath away.

As you moved across the room with Taemin, his eyes unconsciously followed where you went. Till when Kyungsoo shook him, was he finally able to tear his eyes away from you.

‘Baekhyun ah, I was talking to you , were you listening?’

‘Ye Ye, what did you say?’

They went on discussing about some of the other schedules they were to be having, until a familiar voice caused him to freeze.

‘Hello, I’m y/n, I’m the owner of this shop. I heard Kyungsoo ssi would be the barista actor? I’ll be the one teaching you later’

Kyungsoo looked up and greeted you politely while Baekhyun was still in a daze.

Seeing how he didn’t respond, you greeted him with a bright smile

‘Hello Baekhyun ssi’

Without waiting for Baekhyun to respond, you asked Kyungsoo to follow you to behind the kitchen now as there wasn’t much time to learn.

Watching you and kyungsoo walked away together, he mentally hit himself in the head.

oh shucks she must think im a real jerk now. Making friends with her, then not coming here for months and the next time we meet i didn’t even greet her.

Argh kyungsoo, give me my time with Y/N.

Though he was feeling a little lousy about the situation, he knew there was nothing he could do about it. He sat at corner table inside the shop while waiting for his scene set up to be completed.

Looking at you and kyungsoo, he had a monologue with himself

though i really like her, i should probably let her go. the smile on her face, though i am confident i will be able to give it to her, but what if i bring more sadness than happiness?

The both of you having fun made him so jealous. He started imagining you with another guy, you with Taemin? He hated that feeling so much, but he had to accept this. He told himself, he must.

About 2 hours later , he was done with his shoot and all could break for lunch. Over lunch time, you and kyungsoo stuck together as time was tight. Kyungsoo couldnt practice using the coffee machine earlier when baekhyun was filming.

Not once did you look over at him or even seem to think about talking with him. It was as if you guys were strangers.

Ah, great, this is how it should be like. She’s better than me at this. While i’m over here suffering about how to forget about her, she seem to be getting along just fine. She’s completely acting like she doesn’t know me.

Not being able to stand being around you anymore, he annoyed his manager hyung to drive him back to the SM building first. Coming up with some crap excuses that were questionable. But his manager hyung still sent him back since there was still time to spare before kyungsoo was done.

On his ride back, he set his resolve to let you go but he told himself

no matter what, we were once friends that could count on each other. i don’t want to end up hurting her, and making her lose more hope in friendships.

I’ll go back tonight to find her.

At about 5.30 pm, kyungsoo sent a text message in their group chat that the filming has ended. Receiving that intel, he got ready to head off to your café. The production crew would need at least another half an hour to pack up anyway. He had ample time to get there.

As perfect as he had planned, when he arrived, the café was already cleared of the production team, but the lights were still on. He knew you would still be cleaning up after everyone left.

Out of courtesy, he knocked on the glass door, causing you to jump in surprise instead. Smiling at him, you beckoned him in.

‘Why are you back here?’ You asked while sweeping the floor.

‘It’s been a long time, isn’t it nice to see each other again?’ He asked casually, but he could feel his palms sweating already

You looked up at him and smiled without replying as you continued cleaning up.

‘So how are you? I’m sorry I haven’t been here for really long, EXO’s comeback is coming soon we are really busy ….’

Before he could even complete his sentence, you cut him off

‘Yes I know. It’s all on twitter and I watch your group’s vlive too. I know you guys have a lot to prepare and are really busy. Don’t have to apologise’

Though he knew you truly meant what you say, it broke his heart a little. He wasn’t really sure what to say anymore. But he wanted to ask this since the start

‘Why did you rent your place to be an MV set? Did you know it was for EXO?’

‘It’s just a favour I’m returning to Taemin ssi. He only told me it was for EXO when he asked for my help last week. But anyway, it’s really nice to see you being serious at work. Now I know why you have so many fangirls~’

‘Are you my fangirl now then?’ Baekhyun asked and waited expectantly.

‘Why? Are you going to give me your autograph if I said yes?’ You put aside the cleaning cloth and washed your hands while replying him jokingly.

‘Anyway, I’m done, shall we go?’

You grabbed your bag as you asked. As you walked right passed him, he reached out to grab your arm without even thinking.

Hesitantly, he started

‘Hey actually, I came today because I have something to tell you’

Staring right into his eyes, you replied

‘I kinda knew it already. Why would you suddenly come back here after not being here for so long. And the fact that you’re here at this hour… You’re definitely not coming here as a customer right?’

Looking at him with a hard expression, Baekhyun was surprised to see something other than ‘manners’ or indifference on your face after all this while.

‘I’m really sorry. I don’t even know how or where to start. I really liked your company, the friendship we had meant a lot to me. But as we got more comfortable, I don’t even know when... but....to be honest..

I started falling for you. I didn’t know what to do, can you understand this?’

He loosened his grip, letting your arm slowly slip out of his hands.

‘Remember the day you gave me the gift? I went home feeling so conflicted. I want us to be together so bad, but I know I can’t even promise you a regular and peaceful life, much less a stable relationship now. The weight of dating an idol, how could I put that upon you? ‘

‘You’re right, I could never carry that weight’ you reply came through like a stab to his heart.

He broke his eyes away from you momentarily. But you continued,

‘All this while, I thought I had done something wrong when I gave you the gift. I wondered why you didn’t come back, I thought we were friends, that’s why I even mustered up courage to get a present for you. But you never came back after that. I thought could it be that Baekhyun ssi started finding me weird like all my bullies last time? Was I over doing it? I asked myself that every now and then, worried that my desire to want to be friends with you may turn you off instead.

Sometimes when you tell funny stories, inside I thought how cute this guy is. When you were serious, I thought even though you’re so cheeky on the outside, you’re a man inside having to carry so many burdens. I wanted to say more, do something for you all this time, but I was worried about so many things.

Eventually when you stopped coming back for a while, I felt heart broken.

But I used the time to think it all through. What did I want with you? A friendship? Something more? And I decided it’s best to not desire anything at all. I could never handle it if one day I want something more that neither of us could give each other’

Though you tried so hard to control, tears rolled down your cheeks. It hurts him to know he was the reason for your tears.

He reached out to wipe your tears away, and you let him.

‘Baekhyun ssi, I… I’m sorry too’

Overwhelmed with emotions at all the confession and looking at your beautiful face that leaned against his hand, he couldn’t hold back anymore, He closed the gap between both of you and gave you a kiss on the lips. A kiss so light it barely lasted a few seconds.

Heart beating fast, he pulled away slightly, his face still so close to yours. ‘I’m sorry for being selfish right now. But I want you to know this is how I feel.’

Before he knew it, your lips pressed against him once again. Briefly, then pulling away, you pushed him away, putting some distance between the both of you.

‘Me too. But Baekhyun-ssi...

Sometimes love isn’t about possessing, but giving

So I’ve told myself it’s okay for me as long as I can see you and support you in my own way. Be it your albums, shows, or whatever it may be.

My café doors will always be open for you as long as you need a listening ear or even just coffee....

Don’t be sorry. I understand, I just want to be the safe space you can still go to, rather than your burden.. If we were together.’

He could tell you were trying hard to manage a smile just so he could feel better. He moved closer and pulled you into a hug.

‘I know you said not to be sorry, but I’m sorry ... And thank you’, his voice akin to a whisper

After a long pause, you returned his hug, and at your touch, he was at the brink of tears. You were possibly his once in a lifetime, but here you both were, giving up on each other, for each other. He tried so hard to hold back his tears, but they streamed down eventually

He rarely ever cried, but for you… If he couldn’t have you, at least he should be allowed to cry for you.

He tightened the hug and could only wish for the night to never end.

——-

Was hella hard to write this, sorry for this really tragic ending.

But partly writing it this way because I guess as fangirls one of the best things we can give our favs is a safe space to be real with us. Love isn’t about possession. So let’s love them right ok☺️

On a side note, was shook at his fan sign convos. Especially the one he said though he said it’s ok if we leave him for a while because it’s difficult to wait, he didn’t actually mean it.

What a sweetheart!! All the more makes me feel like he might really respond this way if he is faced with this kind of situation (as in this fanfic)?!

Anw hope you guys enjoyed this !

Tag(s): @wooya1224

#byun baekhyun #exo fanfic #exo #exo scenario #exo scenarios #exo baekhyun #baekhyun scenarios #Baekhyun #baekhyun scenario #baekhyun #exo comeback #bambi #baekhyunfanfic

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free-pool-trash · 4 years

Text

folklore - isaac lahey {2/?}

part two because i just couldn’t wait lmao! this chapter focuses a lot on the reader but there is some cute isaac moments in there too because i wanted there to be more to the story than just reader and isaac’s relationship <33 this part is kinda just setting stuff up tho so dw!

platonic derek x reader in this part :) and isaac ofc

please let me know what u think :)

word count: 4.4k

warnings: swearing, mentions of blood, i think that’s it???? let me know if i misses anything <3

my taglist is still pretty wishy washy for this so i’m gonna tag the people who enjoyed part one, thanks for all the lovely feedback <3

Taglist: @makeusfreefromthisfandom, @cece-lives-here, @chocolate-raspberries, @belsandthings let me know if you’d like to be added or removed <3

PART 1

PART 3

Endless thoughts plagued your mind as you wandered through the crowded halls. It barely registered with you that Derek could be home and not bother to check in, although maybe it was for the best, you were pretty sure that he was still a wanted man- for a crime you were also sure he didn't commit. You knew Derek, despite the fact that you weren't related by blood you saw each other as family, you knew how he treated his family, it was what he treasured above all else and there was absolutely no way in hell that he had burned his whole family tree to ash.

He and his uncle Peter were the only Hale's left as far as you knew, however saying that Peter was "alive" seemed like a bit of a reach. The man who used to tell you stories and sneak you candy whenever he saw you was completely immobilized now, scarred to the point of being almost unrecognizable, he couldn't talk, he could barely move, he was even being fed through a tube.

Peter was a particularly close friend of your father's, he'd always made you refer to him as 'uncle Peter' and the man did the title justice treating you like one of his own. And while you called him Uncle Peter, he- and the rest of the Hale's- always called you something different; "The littlest of the pack" though you never understood why the family had such an obsession with being known as a pack, you were more than delighted to know that they considered you part of it.

When you were old enough you started volunteering at the hospital which held Peter and after six months of hard work, sweeping hallways and helping the overworked nurses they finally bumped you up to keeping patients company. Since you were still in school you were mostly at the hospital at night and on Sunday mornings, the same time as your favourite nurse, Melissa, who always assigned you to Peter when she was manning the same ward as you. To be honest it was rough seeing him in such a state, it was as though everyone you loved seemed to struggle- the thought alone always made you choke up, made you wish you had some kind of power to take it all away, to make everything better. But you didn't, so you simply read to him, told him about what was happening in the news, stories about what was happening at school as Peter was always one for a good scoop of gossip, you even confided in him about the sharp sting you felt in your chest whenever someone you cared about was in pain, himself included. The logical thing would've been to simply stop visiting him but if you did then he'd barely have any human interaction for the rest of his life and ignoring the fact that he couldn't show it, you knew deep down that he could hear you, felt that he appreciated your visits.

Without even realizing where your feet had been carrying you, too lost in thought to notice, you found yourself nearing Isaac's locker, the boy himself hunched by it, his face hidden by the blue metal door. It was easy to forget over the weekend and after hanging out alone how shy Isaac was, he was a completely different person around you, he was loud, granted he still wasn't as loud as you but he certainly knew how to find his voice, he stood straighter as opposed to how the tall boy stood in the school hallways. To you he stood out, in a perfectly beautiful way, you often chastised him for not giving himself enough credit, always asking if he'd ever even looked in a mirror. Even with your endless compliments that made him blush every time without fail, Isaac still chose to blend in, but you didn't blame him- you blamed his asshole of a father for making him believe he was anything less than wonderful.

It was no secret that Isaac was taller than the average teen in Beacon Hills standing at six foot one, which meant he gave incredible hugs but it also meant he tried his very best to fold into himself in larger crowds and he regularly walked with his head down as to not draw attention to himself, even standing at his locker he bowed his head.

Shaking off your thoughts you walked up to your best friends side, tugging his sleeve softly to alert him of your presence before wrapping your arms around him, enveloping him in a side hug and allowing your head to rest against his arm while he wriggled it out of your grasp to wrap around your waist more comfortably, not paying his burning cheeks and racing heart any mind as he shifted his gaze from organizing his books to the girl clinging to him with a pout on her face, "What's up, buttercup?"

Nuzzling your head further into his side you let out a dramatic sigh, "I heard from Scott that Derek is back in Beacon." Isaac felt his eyebrow raising at the mention of both names, Scott's because you seemed to be hearing a lot of things from him in the last couple of days and at Derek's because he was pretty sure you hadn't seen him in years.

"How would McCall know if Derek's in town? Isn't he pretty much your cousin?" Isaac asked, thumb moving soothingly against your hip as you melted into him, shoulders slumping sadly and your pout only becoming more prominent. His voice sounded slightly aggravated at the mention of Scott but you thought nothing of it, thankfully. Isaac didn't want this to turn into a conversation about his petty jealousy.

"Forget cousin he was more like my big brother. That's what's got me so twisted! Why would he come home and not even bother to check in?" You murmured grumpily against the fabric of the flannel Isaac was sporting instead of his usual cardigan, which reminded you that he couldn't have worn his usual cardigan because you'd forgotten to give it back to him the night before and sported it yourself. The comfy grey material hugging your shoulders as you hugged the boy that the item of clothing actually belonged to.

"When did McCall say he saw him?" Isaac inquired, sorting his books with one hand.

"Yesterday."

"Alright well that wasn't too long ago maybe he's planning on checking in today?" He suggested, finishing up at his locker and throwing his bag over his shoulder, dropping his hand from your hip and sliding it into yours, interlocking your fingers and giving you a comforting squeeze before he began leading you towards the school's double doors, the last class of the day having already ended.

Letting out another sigh you only nodded, swinging your interlocked hands between you as you walked towards the exit.

"I promised my dad I'd finish a plot at the cemetery so he'd let me come over tonight so I'm gonna be a little bit late." Isaac broke the silence, looking at you with an expression that was mixed with disappointment and exhaustion, "That's okay." You offered, squeezing his hand as he'd done yours earlier.

"Do you want a ride home?" You asked him, nodding your head toward your beat up, second hand car that the pair of you had already made several memories in since you got it almost a year ago for your sixteenth birthday.

The brown haired boy only shook his head, giving you a soft smile and nodding towards the bike racks, "Nah, I brought my bike today."

Nodding in understanding, you leaned up and pecked his cheek while you let go of his hand, "Alright. Since you're gonna be late I'll pick up the movie for tonight myself. You just meet me at my place whenever you're ready, Kay?"

"Yes, ma'am." Letting out a soft laugh he watched you walk to your car, already missing your warmth beside him.

The first thing you noticed upon pulling into your driveway was the slick black car that was parked beside your mother's blue one, in your usual spot. The car was new and you didn't recognize it, you quirked an eyebrow, putting your car in park behind your mother's, grabbed your school bag from the passenger seat and got out with a slam of the door.

As you entered the house you were met with the sound of voices floating from the kitchen, picking up on the hushed conversation as you made your way towards the three voices, "You need to tell her." One said, a man. "It's too soon." Another sounded, you recognized the voice to belong to your father. "No, he's right, if what he says is true she's going to get caught up in it either way. Especially now the Argent's are in town." That was your mother. Your eyebrows furrowed, you could only assume that the 'she' they were talking about was you but what you didn't understand was what exactly they were debating telling you and why it had anything to do with the Argent's, were they talking about the Allison girl who had just joined your class?

You pushed open the kitchen door, eyebrows knitted tightly together, your brain taking a second to catch up with who your eyes were seeing, "Derek."

The name left your lips in barely a whisper when your eyes landed on the dark haired man leaning against your kitchen counter with a small smile playing on his lips as he greeted you, "Hey, kid."

Without wasting anymore time you launched yourself forward, arms wrapping around Derek's middle as he let out a sigh, his own arms moving around you slowly to reciprocate your action with a tight squeeze.

"I missed you!" You exclaimed punching the older man in the shoulder once you detached from the hug, expression turning accusing after a moment prompting Derek to purse his lips and brace himself, he knew that look, he hadn't seen it in a while but he knew it. That was your "I've got a bone to pick with you" look, Derek had to fight off the smile that threatened to grow on his lips when he realized that this particular look hadn't changed since you were five years old.

"Do you want to tell me why Scott McCall got to see you before I did?" The man under fire let out a defeated sigh, "If it makes you feel any better I would've rathered it be you that I bumped into." He responded halfheartedly, letting out a huff you turned towards your parents who were sat at the dining table.

"What were you guys talking about before I came in?" You questioned, feeling nervous as the three adults suddenly went rigid, glancing between each other before Derek nodded his head in your father's direction, silently encouraging him to tell you what they'd been discussing earlier.

Letting out a heavy exhale through his nose your father motioned for you to sit down in the chairs across from him, Derek moving to sit beside your father in front of you as you did. "This is going to be hard to believe but I need you to keep an open mind while we explain, alright?" You only managed a nod of your head, nerves ever-growing as you waited for someone to elaborate on whatever they were about to tell you.

"You've heard of werewolves haven't you?"

"Sure." You responded confused, the question seemed out of place in what you assumed was to be a serious conversation.

"Well they're real." Your father responded. You couldn't stop the snort that left your mouth, breaking out into a fit of giggles before you noticed the three adults before you looking at you with absolutely no trace of amusement. "Wait you're serious?!" Your eyes almost bugged out of your head as Derek's eyes flashed blue and he bared his teeth in response to your exclamation.

"...So the howling Scott said he heard in the woods?" You trailed off, eyes wide as Derek nodded his head, "it was a werewolf."

"You?"

"No. An alpha."

Eyes never leaving Derek, you posed another question, "Is this why you're family called themselves a pack?"

The man nodded, not being able to get a word in edgewise while you continued to fire out question after question, "You guys always said I was the littlest of the pack does that mean-" Your mother cut you off with a light chuckle, "No babe, you're not a werewolf." A sigh of relief left you when you slumped back against the kitchen chair, a small twinge of disappointment flooding through you, that would've been cool.

"You may not be a wolf genetically but you're still a member of our pack." Derek assured you, sensing your disappointment. "Are they in the pack too?" You inquired, glancing quickly at your parents before returning your gaze to Derek.

"No. Just you." You couldn't lie and say the statement didn't make you feel special but still, it confused you, "Why not?"

It was your mother's turn to speak now, giving the werewolf a break from your constant curiosity.

"Back before the fire your dad and I had a certain role to play in Beacon Hills," she started, reaching for your hand before she continued, "from the minute you were born you bonded with almost everyone in the Hale house, we didn't understand it completely but we assumed it was because of how close me and your dad were to them. I guess they kind of saw you as their newest cub after Cora." Derek chuckled, chiming in with a quiet, "More like runt of the little." Giving him a glare you kicked his shin under the table while he laughed and you nodded for your mother to keep going.

"Anyway, as you already know me and your dad met in college- studying Mythology. We uncovered supernatural occurrence after supernatural occurrence and those supernatural occurrences eventually led us here, to the Hale's." She told you, looking to your father for him to continue, he cleared his throat before speaking, "We got caught up in it, built a huge repertoire of supernatural entities, including werewolves, I met Peter and we made a truce, ended up becoming best friends in the process."

Nodding your head slowly you spoke up again, "So you guys were like… their supernatural encyclopedia?"

"Pretty much." Derek answered.

"Okayyyy… but that still doesn't answer my question, why am I in the pack and not you guys?" You posed the question to your father who looked at your mother nervously.

"When you were four things got messy, really messy," Derek scoffed, rolling his eyes muttering "understatement of the century" under his breath as your father went on, "Your mother got captured by hunters, Chris Argent and his little gang of merry men." He tensed his jaw, saying the name through clenched teeth before composing himself, "So your uncle Peter made the executive decision to initiate you into the pack to make absolutely sure that nobody would get their hands on you."

"Why?" The three of them erupted into laughs at the look on your face, Derek opting to answer the question, "I don't know how you did it but you had him completely wrapped around your finger. Peter is the most selfish person I've ever met but he would've sooner died himself than let anyone touch a hair on your head. As part of a pack members protect each other at all costs. With you officially a member it meant that we were bonded to you, you were one of us." The mention of Peter made you smile, not that you'd admit it to Derek but you felt the newly exposed pack bond strongest with Peter, the dots only connecting in your head now years later. Derek picking up on your train of thought spoke up, "That's why you can't bring yourself to stop visiting him."

Your mother's voice cut in again, "Those four crescent scars on the back of your neck are from Peter, it's how he marked you as a member without actually turning you." She explained, your hand absentmindedly rubbed the nape of your neck, fingers tracing deftly over the scars that you often forgot about.

"I know it's a lot to digest but there's one more thing." Derek sighed, a slight feeling of guilt growing within him for having to dump this on you all at once. When you didn't say anything, only looked at him he continued, "The hunters who kidnapped your mother, well they're back."

Anxiety bubbled up in your stomach as you whipped your head to your mom, "Are they gonna try take her again?" Your voice was bordering on sounding manic, Derek's voice quelling your worried before you had a panic attack.

"No. I don't think so at least. It's me and the alpha they're after, and- I trust you not to tell anyone this- your friend Scott too." Your eyes widened yet again, Scott was a werewolf? That must have been why he was seeking Derek out earlier today, "That's why he was looking for you isn't it?" You voiced your thoughts, Derek rose an eyebrow in response, "Looking for me?" You nodded enthusiastically, "Yeah, today in school, he and Stilinski started asking me a bunch of questions about why you were here- I told them I'd help them find you." You clarified, trying not to laugh at the exhausted look that came over Derek's face when the name Stilinski fell from your lips.

"Tell him to meet me in the woods later. I need him to help find the alpha." Derek instructed, watching contently as you pulled your phone out of your pocket and began texting Scott, thankful you'd gotten his number.

You: I'm with Derek

You: He wanted me to tell you to meet him in the woods later

Scott: When is later?

"When is later?" You voiced, not looking up from your phone, "After dark." Derek answered and you laughed, "Alright, Bruce Wayne."

You: He says "after dark"

Scott: :/ cryptic much

You: Best I could do wolfie

Scott: He told you??????

You: Yep, I'll fill you in tomorrow there's a lot to unpack here…

Scott: Please don't tell anybody

You: Your secret is safe with me don't worry

With that you set your phone down in front of you, before something crossed your mind, "Wait you said Argent earlier right?" Derek nodded, your mother and father having moved from the table, preparing food in the kitchen.

"Allison Argent just started at my school, I'm pretty sure Scott has a crush on her actually." You informed, shrugging your shoulders lightly, picking up your phone when it buzzed and missing the way Derek rolls his eyes.

Isaac: I'll be over at 7 <3

You: Great what movie do you want me to get?

Isaac: Ladies choice ;)

You: Hope you like Legally Blonde xoxoxo

Isaac: Seriously again?

You: You said my choice no take backs, love you <3333333

The time was 5:45pm and the sky had turned from blue to black, you assumed Derek would be heading off to stress Scott out soon enough so you stood from the table and grabbed your jacket, "I'm gonna go rent a DVD for me and Isaac, you guys need anything?" You directed towards your parents who were messing around in the kitchen like teenagers causing you to roll your eyes but smile.

"Huh? No we're okay. When is lover boy coming?" Your father asked, wiggling his eyebrows at you, laughing at how you groaned, "Stop calling my best friend 'loverboy' one of these days you're gonna slip up and call him that to his face and he'll literally die of embarrassment on the spot!" You yelled, cheeks burning and expecting your mother to come to your defense only to have her laugh along with your father, "Yeah, don't talk about your future son in law like that."

"God, you two are the worst. Derek tell them to stop harassing my friendships." The dark haired man rose an eyebrow from his seat, a strict look on his face, "She's too young for a boyfriend."

"Thanks, Derek. That was absolutely not helpful at all, but thank you." You muttered, grabbing your car keys and heading out the door.

You loved your parents, adored them, they raised you incredibly- that didn't mean they didn't annoy the hell out of you sometimes, though. They had about fifty names that they liked to call Isaac instead of his actual name, the most popular being "loverboy", "heart eyes", or your mother's personal favorite "future son in law." You supposed it was good that they liked him enough to consider him a future son in law, however, it was pretty insensitive when they could clearly see that you were painfully in love with him and fighting with inner turmoil because of it.

After a five minute drive you pulled up to the video store, stepping out and noticing Lydia Martin in the car next to you, you made brief eye contact with the strawberry blonde and the pair of you exchanged friendly smiles before you entered the store. Lydia was nice but you noticed she wore a facade around school, more specifically around Jackson. You remembered quite vividly how she shot Isaac down rather brutally back in freshman year. He'd only asked her out to prove a point to you, you couldn't remember what now but you'd gotten in some form of argument and the resolution you'd come to was that he prove himself and ask someone out, that someone happened to be Lydia. He didn't really like her but the whole debacle did significantly bruise his ego.

Of course, wherever Lydia Martin is Jackson Whittemore was never far away. You almost laughed when the first thing you heard after walking into the store was the jock shouting about not being able to find "The Notebook".

"It's over there." You chimed in, alerting him of your presence and pointing straight ahead of him towards the movie he was searching for.

Nodding thankfully the blonde made his way toward the far shelf while you walked to the other side of the store.

Despite being across the room, Jackson's gasp sounded clearly making you nearly jump out of your skin. Placing a hand on your rapidly beating heart you just shook your head and let out a long breath. You were probably just hearing things, your mind concocting noises to psych you out after learning the new information about the supernatural, Jackson's gasp had absolutely nothing to do with the snarls you thought you were hearing from behind you.

You had yourself convinced you were just hearing things. That was until the snarls became mingled with hot, slobbery breaths that hit the nape of your neck, shocking you into spinning yourself around. You couldn't help the yelp of fear that left your lips when your eyes met beaming red orbs… the eyes- they weren't human.

What you were looking at you could only describe as a beast. A wolf. The ability you usually possessed to control your breathing left you as you heaved, continuing to stumble back as the creature took steps forward until your back hit a row of shelves painfully. DVDs crashing to the floor in your wake.

The creature was face to face with you now, snout coming in contact with your nose as it's demonic eyes bored into your soul. It snarled as you felt your heart rate increase, it was going so fast you were half scared it would detach from it's blood vessels. Everything about the creature scared you, from its eyes, to it's snarl, to its fangs baring in your face, but what frightened you the most was that you felt like you knew it. There was a familiarity with it and you could not for the life of you explain it but you could feel it.

The scream that left you when the beast finally lunged for you with snapping jaws shook the store as the wolf sunk its teeth into the soft tissue of where your shoulder connects to your neck. The pain you felt was as blinding as the eyes that stared at you, the beast raised it's hair covered paw in the air, fully intent of swiping the last remnants of life from your now limp form before it suddenly stopped, looking at you with so much uncertainty. Not getting a chance to analyze the new look on the things hairy face the creature resumed its position on all fours then crashed out of the store window.

"(L/n)?!" Jackson whisper shouted, from around the corner, only seeing your legs peeking out from behind a row of shelves as he made his way over to you, his movements jittery. You tried to call out but your voice failed you, you kicked your legs out weakly to let him know where you were, not knowing he was already rushing towards you.

"Christ… ok just stay awake I'm calling the police right now." The blond, who you'd never known to care for anything other than himself, spoke frantically- shaking as he pulled out his phone.

Your hearing faded in and out as Jackson shouted at law enforcement over the phone. Tilting your head to the side, very painfully, you began to panic once you noticed the gaping bite that had been taken out of your neck, you whimpered pathetically at the sight of your entire shoulder, neck and hair drenched in blood, your blood. Your panic seemed to rub off on Jackson as he noticed your breath becoming heavier and heavier by the second, tears falling down your face as you stared at your injury in fear.

It was just then that sirens wailed from outside, this eased Jackson's nerves, the boy, you had to hand it to him, didn't leave your side until you were safely in an ambulance- your nerves however were still fried, panic growing by the second as strangers fretted around you, yelling orders at each other and pushing painfully against your wounds. Calm didn't settle over you until one of the medics injected you with a needle, you didn't have a clue what was in it and you didn't have time to theorize as your world turned black.

#isaac lahey x reader #isaac lahey imagine #teen wolf x reader #isaac lahey

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redqueen-hypothesis · 3 years

Text

tied together pt. 1 ➳ mlqc

➳ WORD COUNT: 1874

➳ GENRE: fluff

➳ SYNOPSIS: how would the mlqc boys (gavin and kiro) propose?

➳ REMARKS: this literally came out of nowhere, it’s 3am and i need to sleep. check out the inspiration for kiro’s song here!

GAVIN

he realises it on a completely average day

you’re over in his house for a surprise date-but-not-quite date, chiding him for not stocking up on his kitchen enough for you to make a proper dinner - he’s lucky you haven’t discovered his cup noodle stash in the bottom cupboard

the two of you end up ordering take in together

you’re blowing on some hot dumplings before you place them on his plate, rambling to him about your homemade food may not taste as good but is more healthy, when it hits him out of nowhere

yeah, gavin wants to have this everyday for the rest of his life

normal days don’t feel mundane in the least when you’re by his side like this, in fact, each day becomes more and more precious to him, no matter how ordinary they are

he wants to spend the rest of his life with you

this realisation almost scares him, because while he knows that he’s been in love with you for a long time, marriage is different - do you want to marry him? should he really go ahead with taking this step - making you his?

gavin is kind of out of it for the rest of the evening, just... thinking about it

imagining how you would be like if the two of you were married, his ring on your finger

his arms wrapped around you when he goes to sleep and when he wakes up in the morning

you helping him put on his tie before he leaves for work

all the cliches, he’s a sweet boy that way

gavin finds that he wants that more desperately than anything he’s ever wanted in the world, he wants to be the one that makes you happy. for the rest of your lives

the second you leave the house, gavin’s mind is scrambling to think about whether you’ll accept or not if he did propose

this goes on for a while, until one day eli calls you and asks you why gavin has been spacing out at work here and there

not enough for him to be a danger or for him to be shirking work, of course (you know how seriously gavin takes his job), but enough for eli to steal gavin’s pork chops right under his nose - and the man didn’t even realise!

that immediately has you worried

when you confront gavin about it, however, the man looks as cool as a cucumber as always

“eli thinks i’m spacing out? i noticed, i just let it slide.”

for some reason, that’s even more worrying to you (gavin giving up his meat? no way)

he’s actually panicking on the inside, oh my god eli shut up shut up shut up-

he eventually gets exposed to minor, who’s almost as ecstatic about this proposal as gavin is, this is his best bro trying to get married here!!

minor acts as gavin’s secret agent in the company, trying to figure out your ring size with the stupidest excuses

“it’s dark, i’m scared and just need to hold your hand.”

asks the most obvious questions ever like “on a scale of one to ten, how much would you like to marry gavin?”

anna, kiki and willow catch on fast enough and drag him away the second he tries to approach you in case you find out

minor has the subtlety of an elephant stomping through a china shop

plan minor is bust

gavin just gives up on elaborate planning and buys a simple ring

he doesn’t really know when the moment is the moment, so he just keeps the ring in a box in his pocket, waiting for whenever the moment shows itself

and the moment comes a few days later, when the two of you are washing up the dishes together after dinner, and he finds that he can’t stop looking at your soapy hands

part of his brain is terrified, insistent on putting it off, because what if you say no?

the other part of his brain is tired from all this wishy washy and just goes fuck it

reaches into his pocket to pull out the box and pops it open, knows he’s supposed to be kneeling but his brain isn’t working right. gavin stands there dumbly like an idiot, watching you hum to yourself as you continue soaping the dishes

even at this point, he’s still conflicted (to ask or not to ask) but luckily for him, just before he loses his nerves and shoves the ring back into his pocket, you turn around and spot the silver band in his hand

you start to tear up, shocked, while gavin internally panics because his head and tongue seem to have disconnected

forgot the script he’d spent nights working on writing and ends up fumbling out a hoarse “will you marry me?”

it’s then he realises why he’s been so terrified the entire time, he can’t chance you rejecting him, because he can’t imagine a future without you in it

you look at him as if he’s grown a second and third head, and he nearly flees out of your window before you’re wrapping your arms around his middle to tug him back into your apartment

“yes! yes, of course, yes! a million times, yes!”

there are tears in the corners of your eyes, and he brushes them away with a shaky hand before he kisses you on the lips

after the dizziness of the proposal settles down, gavin slides the ring onto your finger with gentle hands

keeps your hands together for the rest of the night

KIRO

realises it when you’ve been pouting a bit over female celebrities trying to get close to him right in front of you

he finds it cute, of course, but he feels like it’s time to settle down, to show you that he’s as much yours as you are his

the public does not know that he’s dating in secret, and the company would surely throw a fit if they know what he’s up to

decides not consult savin about this (uh oh)

has watched plenty of romance dramas, and has acted in countless of them. he knows the drill, diamond ring, tearjerker script and crying girl equals to profit!

but kiro doesn’t want that

he wants it to be special, a unique memory that only the two of you will share together

he’s releasing an album soon, it’s in the production stages, so he decides to add an unplanned song to it, one that he’ll compose and write completely from scratch on his own

manages to act pretty natural around you, although you tend to catch him staring at you with an uncommonly serious look when you’re not looking

it’s not that kiro can’t be serious, but it just isn’t like him to be silent for so long - he’s usually chattering on about something or bursting into random songs that are stuck in his head

surprisingly (to you), he consults you about the new addition to his album, asking you about your taste in music, how you feel about the lyrics

from what you can see, it’s a sweet love song with simple melodies, but deceptively emotional lyrics

he hides the full track from you though, even if you pout and whine

“you’ll just have to find out about it when it drops,” he laughs mischievously

you resign yourself to waiting for another month

the night before, kiro tells you to wait for him at the cross junction for him the next day so that the two of you can celebrate his album release together at souvenir - but he also makes you promise not to listen to the mystery track, he wants to be the first one to sing it to you, with his own lips, and his own voice

and the day it does, social media explodes into a frenzy over the mystery track, simply titled ‘sun’

while the song seems light and cheerful at first, the lyrics have a deeper meaning to them that fans can’t quite decipher, referencing memories and dates together, before bringing up hopes of a future - a future together

you don’t see all of this, however, firmly avoiding all social media to prevent yourself from breaking your promise to kiro

you’re waiting at the crosswalk for him at night after work, a little tired from your day at the office. it’s quiet from how late it is, and the streets are a rather empty, and yet, there’s still no sign of your boyfriend

kiro’s a little late

suddenly, the sounds of a guitar strumming ring out through the quiet night air, and you turn around in surprise to see kiro walking towards you slowly, playing a melody that’s both familiar, but also one that you don’t quite recognise

wait, he’s not wearing his mask or any disguises. people are already starting to turn and stare: is it really kiro? his gaze is fixed solely on you

normally, you would run to him, but the sincere, raw expression on his face glues you to the spot - others must feel it too, because not a single person dares to approach him, not with that fierce determination you see burning in his eyes

when he reaches a short distance from you, he stops and gives you a gentle smile, right before he starts to sing

“i was just one star out of infinity, but you made me your sun. this world of mine was barren, but your warmth filled me with life.”

it’s your song - the song that belongs to the two of you - of your story together, the way you’ve changed his life

“you said i belonged among the planets and the galaxy, but you held the universe inside.”

you don’t even realise you’re crying until kiro starts tearing up as well, and his voice breaks as he reaches the end of the song

“could i be selfish, reach up to pluck the stars and pull the universe into my hands?”

you know what he’s asking

“would you... be mine?”

as the song ends, kiro plucks off the ring hanging off one of the tuning pegs of the guitar, walking up to you with a shy, gentle ‘hey, miss chips’

you throw yourself into his arms when he’s halfway into kneeling, and that’s all the permission he needs to claim your mouth in front of the crowd that’s gathered at the cross junction

they scream and cheer, because it’s kiro finally getting together with the love of his life and he looks so damned happy they can’t help but feel happy for him as well

puts the ring on your finger and kisses it, stroking his thumb over it like he can’t quite believe that it’s there

the news blows up while the two of you beat an escape, kiro donning his disguise as you wrap your hand around his

the two of you have a quiet dinner in souvenir. the chef even makes a special pudding for the two of you, shaped like a small sun

savin throttles kiro the next day at work before congratulating him, and threatens to toss all his snacks in his sleep if he ever pulls such a stunt again

kiro still thinks it’s worth it

#mlqc #mlqc fanfic #mlqc headcanon #mlqc gavin #mlqc kiro #gavin bai #mr love gavin #gavin x reader #kiro #kiro zhou #mr love kiro

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