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todayisafridaynight · 10 months

Note

I wanted to write in about my thoughts on Jo as a CSA survivor separately for a couple of reasons:

I already more or less have what I have to say on the topic in order thanks to talks with @starssystem and another friend [<3]

This is a massive tonal shift from anything else I could be discussing

This Is Massive In General For The Love Of God PLEASE Help Me

Obvious CSA CW for anyone else reading; I only discuss statistics, psychology, and the aftereffects seen in survivors here, but it's worth a warning.

With the disclaimers out of the way… I'd mentioned before I've only ever added one thing to Jo's background, and you were right: this is it! To me, there's so much thematic overlap in Jo's narrative with the experience of surviving CSA it's worth it to examine his character through the lens of that being the case. Of course, there are clearly-stated reasons for it all that Aren't That, but…

It's the pervasive guilt and shame, the lifelong secret that becomes too unbearable not to tell, the faulty coping mechanisms aimed at burying the trauma without having to face it, the reluctance to be sincere [vulnerable] and the lies and half-truths used to maintain the facade of invulnerability, the pursuit of power and control and the knee-jerk anger response when it's threatened, the pursuit of mastery over his body and the indifference to what happens to it. And the way a lot of it really does stem from a deeply traumatic childhood sexual experience from before either he or Ikumi understood what they were getting into, from before they could give informed consent.

Statistically, the further below the average age someone is for their first time, the likelihood of [at best] having been introduced to sex inappropriately and [at worst] having been abused at the time or earlier rises exponentially. Jo was 15 when Masato was conceived--possibly 14, since he was saying he "met" Arakawa at 15, and by then Masato was already born. To put this into perspective, since what ages register as concerning is largely cultural, the average age in the US and UK is 16-18. But in Japan, it's over 19.

To a Westerner [or even a heavily Westernized non-Westerner], having a kid at 15 is unfortunate, but not untenable; you've seen it on TV, you might know people like that, you might even be that kid or that parent. But in Jo's case, with him being 4 or 5 years younger than average, it's like if someone told you they had their first time--had a /kid/--at 13 or under. That's the equivalent discrepancy. That /is/ concerning, to me.

It's also something that's linked to negative outcomes in adulthood, partly because of the likelihood of forming bonds with poorly-adjusted peers. Jo specifically states he and Ikumi were only together because others who came from backgrounds like his own were all he had back then. [As an aside, it's interesting to see him instinctively seek out a relationship where his pain would be understood without having to say anything--or one where he could assume it would, at any rate.]

When it comes to his relationship with Ikumi, I've always felt there was this "adult dynamic" between them--in the sense it feels like one that'd be more fitting for adults to get into than a couple of teens. It was, based on his wording, a primarily physical relationship neither of them expected to last even if they were living together. To me, it's one thing if you're fully convinced you're in love or you're experimenting or whatever and that results in an unplanned pregnancy, but it's another thing entirely to have such a bleak yet objective outlook on your relationship so young.

And it didn't have to be that way. He could've been just like Arakawa, head-over-heels in love with this girl who was The Only Good Thing He Had Going, or something like that. But the sheer contrast between how Arakawa was crazy about Akane and never forgot about her for the rest of his life, while Jo more-or-less-clearly didn't have feelings for Ikumi and can't bring himself to remember her name after living with her for at least a year and experiencing life-changing events with her…

It's notable to me that Arakawa maintains an interest in women while nearly every in-character interpretation I've seen makes Jo averse to women. Obviously, we don't really know that; it's probably just based on his general attitudes, his contrast with Arakawa, and maybe his immunity to Charm. But I think there's a reason a lot of people pick up on it and tie it to trauma rather than/in addition to a lack of interest in women.

I've talked about this through the lens of comphet already [and Jo being gay or ace or both would present other difficulties], but I can't overstate how notable it is on its own. We see Jo's response to traumatic events, and it's to become preoccupied with them, to investigate further if he has any leads. That's why he remembers every minute detail of the night Masato was born and the time he saw Arakawa attempt to comfort Masato when he was crying and hitting himself. I think it's also why he gets as far as he does when looking into Arakawa's death, and why he entrusts the search to Ichi. He never seems to manage to block them out, even if that's what he'd rather do--even if that's what he thinks he's doing.

So if he "[doesn't] even remember" the name of the mother of his child, I get the feeling there's something more going on. Like I've [probably] said in the past, Jo genuinely sounds traumatized by the relationship as a whole. More than anything else he's been through, and he's been through a lot. It's often the case that CSA survivors who are also survivors of other trauma view it as worse than anything else that happened to them.

And that's not to implicate Ikumi at all, I don't think it's a case of COCSA--everything I've said holds just as true for her, and she had to suffer the additional trauma of an unwanted pregnancy and childbirth, at that. Rather, I think it would make sense for something like CSA, which often incontrovertibly reconfigures one's relationship with sex and love, to be a factor in why they rushed into a something physical before they were mature enough to handle it.

Some victims end up having perfectly healthy experiences, some victims end up avoiding them, some victims end up re-victimized, and some victims end up with a mixed bag--there's a lot of variation. But some victims do end up having relationships like this and making mistakes like this, because that's all they know, or because they want to heal but don't [or don't know how to] go about it in a healthy way, at a healthy pace. And I definitely think if you recognize that's what the basis of your relationship was, that it all comes back to something you'd rather forget, it'd make sense to want to forget the relationship as a whole.

To that end, it's possible to come away from a relationship traumatized even if no one did anything wrong. I've [probably] talked about how the way Jo comforts her at the station feels like he's doing it for her sake and pushing his own feelings down, but neither of them is really buying it. If that's a pattern in their relationship, perhaps he wouldn't have been able to communicate if maybe what they were doing was dredging up bad memories, if he wanted to stop but didn't think she did. So to go through with it, then get the news months later…

Either way, the fact Ikumi couldn't bring herself to tell him she was pregnant until nothing could be done would, for Jo, invariably cement the feeling he has no control over what happens around him. I think the sense of powerlessness he felt is why he blew up at her when she told him, because it's really the only time we see him lash out like that at her. At the park, he objects to going back for Masato, sure, but he's passive. And I think that unbroken pattern of powerlessness in his life [which CSA would only compound on] is why he's so reactionary, why he's so emotionally dysregulated, why he expresses his rage through what basically amounts to power-tripping.

But I do think Jo does have a great deal of awareness. A lot of his wording when he's telling Ichi about it borders on poetic, or at the very least candid and effective. That requires both prior reflection and a command of language. I think there's a lot he understands deep down, at least after sitting with it for long enough, but he isn't capable of voicing--or doesn't know how to voice--what's on his mind, most of the time.

So when he joins the Arakawa Family, when he rises the ranks and has that control back, his control has to be near-absolute. If it's undermined in any way--such as, for example, a certain someone failing to answer a call within two rings--he loses it. On the other side of the coin, I do feel a lot of why his devotion and gratitude towards Arakawa goes to the extent it does, why he's so comfortable with him, is because Arakawa gave him the safety of the Arakawa Family, gave him back his autonomy, gave him the environment--and treated him with enough humanity to give him the reason--to learn to regulate himself, to better himself.

And Arakawa /gets/ trauma. He really does. Aside from his own abusive background, literally the only time the word trauma comes out of any character's mouth in this series, it's Arakawa's. It comes back to Jo saying others who came from backgrounds like his own were all he had; that never changed, did it?

Lastly, For Funsies [<- LIE. COMPLETE LIE. TURN BACK NOW] I wanted to go through the items on this [CSA] Survivors' Aftereffects Checklist I could check off with near-certainty. 19/34, by the way, give or take. Now, as I said at the beginning, there are existing concrete reasons for why he has many of these experiences… but it's like the trans allegory with Masato, To Me… If I can check off over half the list based on a very limited backstory and an hour of screen time total, that's indicative of a notable overlap… TO ME…

Note that the book this list is from was published in 1990 and focuses on women's experiences. It was a huge step forward in giving survivors a voice back when a lot of existing research indicated CSA had neutral or even positive effects on children, but it's definitely a product of its time. With that out of the way…

Wearing a lot of clothing, even in summer […]

To be fair, most male characters in RGG are fully-covered and have near-unchanging designs, and it's winter in both 2000/2001 and presumably 2019, but… when it comes to Jo, it feels a little different.

He does have Some Heavage in his twenties [although the necklace takes the attention off of his actual chest], but as time goes on, he shows less and less skin and adds more and more layers. When he has the gloves on, it leaves no skin exposed at all, and there's this direct symbolic correlation with secrecy that isn't there for other characters. And if you're wearing three layers of leather [or even one], you can neither feel what you're touching nor feel anything touch you.

Pure Speculation, but I just can't really see him underdressed for any occasion… That's why his fit in Day with the Sun is funny as hell but also… yeah…

As a behavior, if it's rooted in anything, it's probably rooted in having to hide signs of physical abuse, of course--but then he kind of already had an excuse, with how he was constantly getting into fights. I guess it depends on the specifics, but I think it's interesting to consider this as one way CSA victims attempt to regain control of their bodies, avoiding emotional discomfort at the cost of physical discomfort.

Self-destructiveness

It's nothing super overt, but I see this most clearly represented in his second boss fight in particular; his willingness to wield a blade bare-handed while using enough force he could very well render his hand useless. I think it's potentially also evident in how he has severe cataracts he chooses to ignore and allow to worsen, despite having the reasons and resources to undergo surgery to restore his vision. In doing so, he literally and figuratively blinds himself to so much.

I also kind of think the assassination of Hoshino/the anonymous call and The Eye Scene are examples of self-sabotage. I mean, he literally was sabotaging himself in the former, but it's also the specific way he feels the need to be physically taken down in order to be stopped--possibly a holdover from RGGJo, who's only too happy to be beaten into a coma.

I don't know… It's hard to pinpoint, but I feel like he would be averse to most of the more "obvious" self-destructive behaviors--especially when he has people in his life who might notice and worry, like Ikumi and Arakawa. That and because many of them are addictive. He's seen what that's done to his father, and he's also developed this incredibly rigid sense of discipline he can't maintain if he doesn't have a clear head.

From how he talks about himself [as having lost his humanity and lived a half-assed life], I definitely think he's at the very least unkind to himself, but I also think he does externalize it by provoking others to harm him [in the case of physical fights] and reject him. Like he needs some kind of proxy perpetrator. For some abuse victims, this specific manifestation of self-destructive behavior is a way to regain control--whether or not you "deserved it" back then, you do now, as a direct, logical result of your actions.

Need to be invisible, perfect, or perfectly bad

I think each of these needs manifests in different ways for Jo. The need to be invisible can be seen with authority figures (mainly Aoki, but also Arakawa in The Yubitsume Scene, a little; how drastically he pulls back and tries to act "normal")--this relates to what you were talking about with being reluctant to intrude or take up space. If you fall under the radar, maybe you won't get hurt.

The need to be perfect can be seen in his seemingly "impossible" standards, I would say. Of course, because we see things from Ichiban's perspective, we tend to see them as unfair and often arbitrary demands. But they aren't arbitrary to Jo, are they? They're standards he holds himself to through and through. If you're good, maybe you won't get hurt.

The need to be perfectly bad can be seen in and relates to much of what I discussed under self-destructiveness [The Eye Scene and the way he antagonizes Ichiban specifically by making himself out to be worse than he is]. If you must get hurt, it can at least "make sense"--be "deserved."

Suicidal thoughts, attempts, obsession (including "passive suicide")

Obviously he's not like… Mine Levels Of Overtly And Consistently Suicidal, and he doesn't attempt suicide himself, but at the same time, I have to note his total ambivalence towards Aoki seeing him as a "bullet" (a kind of hitman sent on suicide missions). He agreed to what he himself viewed as a suicide mission and he didn't care what would happen to him afterward, as he says to Joon-gi, Zhao, and Adachi.

Aside from that, I certainly feel he's at least had passive thoughts like wanting to disappear or wishing he'd never been born. Y'know. Nothing concrete, but reflective of his mental state, and just as detrimental to dwell on long-term.

I think there's a sort of childishness [for lack of a better word] to thoughts like these [in that they're impossible], but also a level of maturity in that it probably doesn't escalate to something more actionable because he understands he has responsibilities he can't abandon. I think if he was ever seriously suicidal, it would be at the points of his life where he really didn't have any responsibility to anyone, like between Ikumi leaving and him joining the family, or after he was arrested.

Depression (sometimes paralyzing) […]

I'm trying not to over explain going forward because I Have BEEN Overexplaining It Is SUCH A Disaster… he's depressed If You Have Eyes And/Or Ears… I'll leave it at that…

Anger issues; inability to recognize, own, or express anger; constant anger […]

Lol

Rigid control of one's thought process; humorlessness or extreme solemnity

Relates back to what I was saying about how disciplined he is [and expects everyone else to be], but in general, he's incredibly, incredibly serious and focused. I don't think he's /entirely/ humorless [but then again, very few people are]; I just think his specific sense of humor is. Like. What Is Your Problem [I Know What Your Problem Is I Have Been Discussing It In EXCRUCIATING Detail But What The Fuck Is Your Problem]

Trust issues; inability to trust (trust is not safe); total trust; trusting indiscriminately

That's why he was planning on taking his secret to the grave, isn't it? It was only when faced with the realization it would soon be too late to say anything that he was able to tell Ichiban. He could've trusted Arakawa, should've been able to, but… in his mind he never could.

This book [and this checklist] is about "incest" actually, but it redefines "incest" to mean any instance of CSA perpetrated by any individual the victim trusts or has an expectation of being able to implicitly trust. Which… is most CSA as we understand it today, so I've edited some parts to just say that.

Anyway, I've never given much thought to the specifics of what Jo might've experienced--who did it, what happened, how long it went on, etc.--so there's no conclusion I can draw here [and elsewhere, I'm sure]… but even without that, to grow up unable to trust the one person who should be in his corner, his father, and to have his trust betrayed by Ikumi, it's no surprise Jo ended up like this either way. So… I'm happy he had the courage to tell Ichi, in the end.

High risk taking ("daring the fates"); inability to take risks

I think these are supposed to be mutually exclusive, but to me, Hoshino's assassination and Arakawa's assassination represent both sides of the coin, although they're not the only examples. There are risks Jo won't think twice about taking and risks that paralyze him.

Boundary issues; control, power, territoriality issues; fear of losing control; obsessive/compulsive behaviors (attempts to control things that don't matter, just to control something)

Lol…

Guilt, shame; low self-esteem, feeling worthless; high appreciation of small favors by others

Lmao Even…

Feeling demand to "produce and be loved"; instinctively knowing and doing what the other person needs or wants; relationships mean big tradeoffs (love was taken, not given)

I actually think this encapsulates a lot of what I've been saying about his work ethic, his ideas of discipline, and his relationship with Ikumi, but I also think it's why Masato took a liking to him. His attentiveness. It ties back into wanting to be perfect; when you're abused--especially long-term--you become attuned to observing and responding to any shifts in mood or tone. This is another area where I can't draw any conclusions relevant to my point, but it does certainly relate to his father's abuse, at any rate.

Abandonment issues

Kind of contentious… The anticipation of being abandoned by or losing someone he cares about appears to be worse than the actual experience. He's fine with Ikumi leaving him, and he's… not Fine With, but able to come to terms with Arakawa's death and Aoki's abandonment of him. At the same time, he really does try to make Ikumi's stay in his life comfortable, and he spends almost forty years doing his damnedest to keep his family together, whatever the cost. If I were to extrapolate from RGGJo, though, /he/ does have an obsessive, unhealthy attachment to Arakawa.

Blocking out some period of early years (especially 1–12); or a specific person or place

Ikumiiiiii that's what I'm SAYINGGGG

Feeling of carrying an awful secret; urge to tell, fear of its being revealed; certainty no one will listen; being generally secretive […]

Rofl Perhaps…

Denial; […] repression of memories; pretending; minimizing ("it wasn't that bad") […]

He admits to it himself. Not much else to say. Though I don't think he necessarily minimizes what he's been through by dismissing how bad it was; rather, he tends to overestimate his ability to move past it.

Pattern of ambivalent or intensely conflictive relationships (intimacy is a problem; also focus shifted from [CSA] issues)

Also kind of contentious… we don't see a pattern of romantic relationships, as I assume the author meant here, but at the same time, the romantic relationship and non-romantic relationships we do see fit this pattern. I guess I'd say I definitely think intimacy /would/ be a problem, and he /wouldn't/ be ready to address his issues.

Limited tolerance for happiness; active withdrawal from happiness, reluctance to trust happiness ("ice=thin")

The quote that prompted this ask in the first place. It's sort of connected to the point about humorlessness and extreme solemnity; if that was the "what," this is the "why." He doesn't know how to relax ["holidays don't exist" and all], he doesn't have much to be happy about, but even rarer is the occasion where he doesn't feel too conflicted in the moment to be able to enjoy himself. That's just how I see him.

[…] verbal hypervigilance (careful monitoring of one's words); quiet-voiced, especially when needing to be heard

EXACTLY what I was talking about in this ask, so I'm leaving that one up to past me…

......

... That's It That's The Essay I'm going to hibernate until Infinite Wealth comes out and somehow refutes my points but UNTIL THEN. Farewell, take care, and once more, don't worry too much about matching my energy… Like I Said if I were the one receiving this ask I'd just delete my blog, so… I'll just be happy to know you read it :] If That lmao

ok i read it :) 👁️👁️ READMYTAGSTHERESMORETHEREIPROMISE

#long post #cw csa #doublin up to add cw warnins in the tags just in case <3 lemme know if i should throw more tags down here..... im bad at cw tags....#i forget my bookmark tag for asks from you i stg if i cant find this ask in the future im kmsing (in minecraft) immediately #snap chats #THE SNORT I MADE AT THE DEADPAN 'LOL'☠️ maybe i SHOULDVE put text In The Main Text i have A Lot of Thoughts..#im leavin the main text empty since. ngl i was just gonna compare/contrast to myself again... and say a lot of what weve said b4..#UNFORTUNATELY a lot of the things listed here uhmmmm Hm <3 Uh Oh <3 i do understand. Dare I Say personally. just a bit #I DO HAVE TO DISCLAIM ive never been a survivor of THOSE circumstances or really. any abuse tbh- brain just sucks and im a baby #and i cant say no BUT ANYWAY I HAVE REASONS FOR BEIN AN EGOTIST I SWEAR its cause I Somewhat had those exps/i understand them #i can REAAAALLLYY easily see where your points are coming from.... very easily even... like very in-depth..#even if i didnt cry bout spilled milk every other day it IS clear to see the signs of abuse in sawashiro once you know them #i've def talked bout those aspects of him whether in tag rambles or in streams or have Attempted to express it via fics #so really the bits to chew on for me esp this time round is the more CSA aspects #tbh when it comes to bein unable to see him intimate or 'underdressed' i agree: incredibly hard for me to imagine #the thing with 'symptoms' of abuse is that they kinda overlap i guess ??#in that regard it can either be a need to impress or protect himself/needing to be seen less #when it comes to doing certain things because of CSA i could see it as a result of another abuse too. if that makes sense #THOUGH THAT ISNT TO DISCREDIT THE IDEA nono cause there still exists the Now That I Think About It circumstances of masato #even if we look at it through Western Norms(TM) two- essentially homeless- kids having. A Kid is still bizarre #cause again teen pregnancies generally happen as a result of Bein Irresponsible With A Schoolmate- not that other situations cant exist #but thats the most common innit so. def an aspect to consider. All Things Considered. esp jo's self-separation from ikumi #BUT YEAH i feel like if i try to respond im just gonna end up typing up a textbook bout abuse since. UNFORTUNATELY #childhood psychology is my field of interest. and aint no one readin THAT phat thing. esp when ill prob repeat myself or you ☠️#tbh remindin meself of when i said id write psyche papers on mine and/or jo.... oops 👀💋👀 savin this to steal notes from LOL #i hope yo know i WAS thoroughly intrigued reading this. As Ive Said childhood psyche is Literally My Field and this is v thorough and good #so im always interested in readin bout How X Caused Y in Z... very interesting many MANY things to think about.. ty...#forever cursed to be an idiot cause i really wish i could talk better and say somethin of substance.. ik you said its fine but still..#im always open to chat bout this more if youd like PLEASE dont think my lack of Main Text is disinterest Im Just Stupid. But We Know That

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amatres · 1 year

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I know you have to choose the option but the farewell conversation that sticks most in my head in the Gallows is with Carver where Hawke can say something along the lines of 'This is how we're supposed to be, side by side' and he tells them they know it can't be like that forever.

Like, my Hawke at least spent so much of her life building her identity in service of her family. Hawke most resembles their father no matter what, and the family is shaped around them narratively (if you're a mage or not deciding which sibling you lose first and how that class effects how those siblings feel about themselves and their place in the family) and they shape themselves around their family in turn, exist for them, takes up the role of leader after Malcolm has passed. The answers of where Hawke considers home when they're asked never felt right, because they lived on the run for so many of their formative years, the true answer feels like to me to be their home is their family, the place never mattered beyond being allowed to rest and not look over their shoulder every day.

What happens to that identity when everyone you built it around is gone? Where would they consider home when it's all said and done? The Amell estate was something they got for their mother, one of the answers they can give to Varric in Act 2 on what they plan to do now is watch over their mother, Carver tells Hawke to look after her when the expedition separates them. Then their mother is gone too.

There's no final statement for this since it's just me rambling, but it's hm, sad to think about. Who is Hawke if they aren't living for the sake of another, when all those they lived for are gone and they never felt at home anywhere but in the people they surrounded themselves with?

#ama mumbles #dragon age #dragon age 2 #hawke #allyn hawke (oc)#im not writing meta this is just me rambling thoughts specifically born from trying to figure out allyns uhh problems lol #by act 3 the answers is probably their companions but eventually everyone leaves their side besides their possible li #so what do they consider home who are they when they are truly alone #my hawke is a mage which also shapes this perspective i dont know how it affects nonmage hawke #anyway carver was right and valid to want to find an identity separate from the family #bc like look how his sibling destroys themself trying to shape themselves around it #as for my own hawke id say she felt most content in lothering she briefly was feeling the same in kirkwall in act 2 but when leandra dies #part of her dies with her i suppose. shes the champion of kirkwall and its a death sentence bc shes a mage so she decides #to try and help at least make the world a bit more comfortable for any mage that comes after her #allyn and anders in act 3 shaking hands over being suicidal and throwing themselves into at least making it mean something #by helping ppl like them maybe having a better life #on that point the chantry explosion didnt feel like a axe to allyn it felt like a release. finally the hold of this place has lifted #if that makes sense lol. kirkwall was only for her mother now that shes gone allyn was waiting for an end to her stay there and it came #back to being on the run. something that felt more natural to her. maybe one day she will have a small farm again #or maybe she will live in a city with a garden if the people she surrounded herself wanted to live there #just somewhere that the noose of her family's ghosts were no longer strangling her

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artekai · 11 months

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Honestly "I could give you the world but you'd poison the seas" is Frosscore enough that it could apply to most people who have ever cared about him. But also, it should clearly be about Lis. Combine that with Aloy's "Elisabet is the only reason you even have a planet to return to" for greater impact. Boom

#not to be obsessed with not only my own playlists but also my own writing but. man. poetic cinema #starting to think that the reason fross is always self-sabotaging is because he's already convinced that everything will inevitably go wron #and instead of waiting for it to catch him off guard he just. poisons it a little himself first.#and maybe then it won't hurt as much when shit does hit the fan!#(< look at this dumbass (me) having the exact same realization about my characters five separate times bc my memory sucks 😔)#but just look at his history. every time he tried to do something the right way in earnest it got fucked up for reasons out of his control #so. i could see it. why put in the effort to do things the right way if he's gonna get disappointed in the end?#it's almost like the hurdles that he himself creates are a test. and smth can only be worth pursuing if it can endure those hurdles first #it makes sense why his redemption arc starts once he's stuck on earth and he's like.#''ok now nemesis is gonna kill me for sure. there is nothing i can do to make this situation any worse. guess i'll wash the dishes fml''#lol #but i also think about pre-apocalypse fross practically begging tilda to let him have something that's uniquely his. even if it sucks #(putting a pin on fross's anxieties about being cloned and his disdain towards aloy and beta in that regard)#because he feels like he's always been pulled by external forces and he doesn't know how to break free. doesn't think he even WANTS to #because it's all he's ever known. and stepping outside of his comfort zone is scary :')#but of course he doesn't have the emotional awareness to even be aware of any of that lmao. pity #oc: fross #oc tag #ramble #anyways. sorry i put the meat of this post in the tags. i didn't expect to write this much lol

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latinokaeya-moving · 2 years

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i watched a vid the other day of this person reviewing the ‘im glad my mom died’ memoir and they talked a lot abt the like. stylistic/writing choices made by the author that worked really well and i enjoyed that approach to a book review bc i like hearing abt what Works when writing you know so i watched another of their vids for a different celebrity’s memoir and this one was a lot more critical (they very obviously didn’t like this person but idk how much that rlly impacted the review itself) and while i appreciated the examples given of like. how Not to write/stuff that sometimes doesn’t work or doesn’t flow as well they started bringing out really technical rules of grammar/writing on talked abt how it was All Wrong and how the memoir was in desperate need of editing bc how could anyone have let this be published

and it just got me thinking bc like. i’m not gonna say i’m an expert on the english language or anything like this person very obviously is more educated on that then me but idk. i feel like i’m generally a decent judge on whether a sentence flows well/sounds right and i think im able to make a distinction between something being technically grammatically incorrect but still sounding good and having an obvious reason for being written that way vs something being wrong technically And that affecting it’s readability or impact of what it’s meant to Do stylistically. like idk ig that’s just the way that person reviews books but it just felt so extremely limited and constrained bc i know i regularly Choose to sometimes write in a style that isn’t wholly correct or ‘proper’ english but it’s not bc im like being deliberately obtuse or don’t know the rules. sometimes i just think the rules are a little dumb n that my writing will sound n flow better the way i do it.

and idk i just think it was a little annoying to watch in their example bc i listened to all the lines they critiqued n Why/How they were Totally Wrong and i couldn’t help but be like okay… but they sound fine to me. like you obviously got what was being said and it read well so…? although i guess whether it sounds good or flows well is more objective so like they were entitled to their own opinion and all i just didn’t like the way they positioned writing as something that must follows these arbitrary rules as if not following them means anything or has any moral value you know…

#x #lol does this make sense… i hope it does #idk it’s just like. i mean obviously there’s some general conventions you follow to make sure your writing is coherent and Makes Sense #but so many other rando rules r just dressing you know…#plenty of authors write in a style that doesn’t completely abide by grammatical conventions and like. that doesn’t make them Bad Writers #they just made an active choice to not follow those rules bc they thought what they wanted to do would work better for their writing #and thats. idk that’s a good thing to me i guess.#again i’m not saying i’m an expert or professional by any means obviously. and i don’t have any real training or like. took classes outside #of whatever i learned in school lmao #but i for the most part like my writing style. i moan sometimes abt sucking at certain things but i genuinely don’t believe my writing is #bad quality or anything. and i Do make the choice to ignore certain rules n stuff all the time just bc i think my writing wouldn’t sound as #good otherwise 🤷 idk. it just felt very holier than thou lol. maybe it just rubbed me the wrong way bc of that #the vid n youtuber doesn’t even matter or anything but yeah. id just been mulling over this for a hot second so. long ramble !

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mostlykind · 3 months

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okay but like why can’t girls make the first move 😔

#this is in the context of muslim girls tryna get married lol #like usually a guy will see a girl and go tell his mum and she calls the girls mum etc etc they go from there #it’s rly not a thing for a girl to do it the opposite way #unless maybe they know each other and talk about it before they bring parents in? or maybe through a friend ?#but I lack the courage to do that 😗#so I just gotta hope the guy makes a move #which sucks cos I’ve had a few times where I’m like hey that guy seems interesting and obviously nothing happens and I’m just kinda sad #my sis in law once offered to speak to a guy for me cos they’re friends and I nearly had a heart attack just imagining it #so honeslty idk if I’d even do it !#rahma’s rambles #I don’t think this makes any sense tbh

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beneaththegildedmoon · 4 months

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I don't think I want to actually change my name bc it doesn't actually get used often enough to bother me tbh, but I would maybe like to find a nickname for it that feels less... gendered? Like I currently use Ella/Bella, and that just feels *so* feminine yk

#idk what more neutral nicknames would even be though #like isabelle is a pretty feminine name #have been considering using Iz or Izzie #since ive also known/heard of guys using those #so they feel less intensely gendered to me #but my partner's sister is called Izzy so i am a bit wary of leaning too far into that in case it gives them the ick lol #im not actually unhappy with isabelle as my like official legal name though #and the process of changing that is so much effort that im just not bothered #and i dont really want a “guys name” or anything just maybe a little less overtly gendered version of my current name #idk if this makes any sense #just agender things maybe #its not something i think would really bother me so much if people didnt read or hear ella/bella and immediately assume “woman” yk?#and my physical body and clothing style etc. tends to reinforce that assumption #idk maybe im overthinking it #ramble hours

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musical-chick-13 · 1 year

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Kurt Cobain was right. Hey, wait, I’ve got a new complaint.

#every day #yes I know heart-shaped box is a serious song that's why i like it #although to this day I still don't understand what 'she eyes me like a pisces' is supposed to mean #I have looked and looked and there has been no interpretation I've found that makes any shred of sense to me #maybe that's because astrology does not make sense to me #I'm just rambling now I'm sorry I need sleep and also I'm Going Through Something so funny jokes it is #(funny to me anyway. which is all that matters. lol.)

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grey-has-rusted · 2 years

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i was gonna make fun of physicists for the whole 'spherical cow' thing but then realized that topologists consider a mug and a torus as the same thing.

Like yes, thinking that a cow is a sphere is weird until you realize that it's done out of necessity to reduce objects down to their simpliest forms. But thinking that a mug and a torus are equivalent just because they both have one hole in them is even weirder.

#ramblings #listen i just think that maybe topology as a whole could be less confusing #for example: why aren't closed sets the opposite of open sets???#like how r u gonna sit here and tell me that something can be both 'closed' AND 'open' at the same time???#the only time it ever makes sense is if you think of closed sets as a complement to open sets #anyways I've been reading some math books recently and topology as a whole is just so... confusing lol #i literally understand nothing. the first few topics that ive learned are kind of obvious (Jordan's Curve Theorem and Map Coloring)#then i get to set theory and it's all down hill from there #like I've been rereading the same five pages for three days now and still don't know what any of it means 😭

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laneywrld · 16 days

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still a champion | Lewis Hamilton

request: hiiii i saw you said we can submit request do i was wondering if you could write something abt abu dhabi 21 where you and lewis have a daughter maybe like 2 years old and after the race lewis just is wrecked and he just wants to be comforted by his little family and everyone in the paddock is watching him and how he interacts with you and your daughter 😕 and he’s just trying not to show how upset he is and trying to be strong in front of you and your daughter but she can just tell so shes like "whats wrong daddy" and his heart just shatters 💔🥲 can you make it really sad but also really fluffy?i was watching that episode of dts the other day and it just made me wonder what it would be like if lewis had a little girl 🥹 sorry if this made no sense lol i tried my best to explain 😂

word count: 2.2k

warnings: none

As Lewis steps out of his car after the Abu Dhabi 2021 Grand Prix, a heavy weight settles over him, dragging at his shoulders and sapping the energy from his limbs. The taste of defeat is bitter on his tongue, a stark contrast to the sweet victory he had hoped to savor.

His heart, heavy with disappointment and frustration, is a testament to the fierce battle he waged. His mind, a whirlwind of emotions, is a reflection of the relentless determination he poured into each race. He fought tooth and nail for the championship, pouring every ounce of energy and determination into each race, only to come up short at the final hurdle.

The realization that victory had slipped through his fingers at the last moment gnaws at him like a relentless beast, tormenting him with thoughts of what could have been. He replays every moment of the race in his mind, searching for answers, for any sign of where it all went wrong.

But try as he might, he can't shake the feeling of profound loss that grips him, a sense of emptiness that echoes through his soul. He had poured his heart and soul into this season, sacrificed so much in pursuit of his dreams, only to fall agonizingly short in the end. He was cheated.

You hold onto your two-year-old daughter tightly; her excitement is palpable as she eagerly awaits her father's return from the race. Her innocent joy is, in a way, crushing, filling the air with a sense of anticipation.

As Lewis exits his car, you can see the disappointment etched on his face, a stark contrast to your daughter's radiant smile. She reaches out for him eagerly, her tiny hand outstretched, expecting to celebrate his victory with him.

You rock her on your hip as you watch the other drivers approach Lewis first. You decide to stand back and take the time to calm your daughter. "Hi, Mommy's girl," you hum at her; she looks up at you, her giant orbs mimicking her father's with that same radiant smile.

"Gonna see daddy," she states.

You coo, pressing your nose against hers, "Yeah, baby going to see daddy, we have to be very very calm okay no squealing like a piggy." You tease tickling her tummy, and she lets out her signature squeal. "Gotta give daddy a hug and a kiss, okay? Make him feel better. We gotta be extra extra nice to daddy."

Like all two-year-olds, she begins to ramble on and on, and you take a moment to observe your husband from across the garage.

As you watch Lewis accept condolences for his stolen race, you notice the subtle telltale signs of his inner turmoil. His knuckles are tight against his skin as he clenches them tightly, a desperate attempt to hide the emotions bubbling just beneath the surface.

You can see the tension in his jaw, the way his shoulders slump ever so slightly under the weight of disappointment. And as he murmurs his thanks, his voice is strained, betraying the effort it takes to keep his emotions in check.

Despite his best efforts to hide his pain, you can see the raw vulnerability in his eyes, the silent plea for understanding and empathy. And as you offer him a supportive nod, a silent gesture of solidarity, you can only hope that he knows he's not alone in his struggle.

Lewis stares into you, his eyes almost pleading for a sense of comfort and your hand instinctively clutches onto your daughter tightly as if you're preparing to comfort her as well as Lewis approaches.

His demeanor is somber and distant, and your heart sinks with a heavy weight of disappointment. You can see the turmoil in his eyes, the crushing weight of defeat bearing down on him like a suffocating blanket.

You try to shield your daughter from the harsh reality of the moment, plastering on a smile and gently guiding her toward her father. But deep down, you know that she's too young to understand the complexities of the race, too innocent to comprehend the depth of her father's distress.

As Lewis scoops her up into his arms, you can't help but feel a pang of sadness for him. Despite his best efforts to hide his disappointment, you know that he's hurting inside. And as you watch them embrace, you silently vow to be there for him in any way you can.

Lewis brings her to his chest, holding her to him like a teddy bear, his arms hold his daughter against him like she too could be stolen. Unlike other races , Lewis isn't happy and cheerful; he isn't smiling at his daughter or tossing her up into the air gleefully.

She may be young, but your daughter was wise beyond her age. "Daddy?" Her voice is a mere whisper and you watch Lewis face as he pulls frees her head from his neck.

"Yes, baby?" He asks, and his voice, too, is low and broken.

"What's wrong, Daddy?"

Lewis feels his resolve crumble as she speaks, her teary eyes resulting in his own. "Why are you sad?"

As Lewis looks to you for guidance, his eyes filled with uncertainty and sadness, you step in to save the day. Joining in on the embrace, you wrap your arms around both him and your two-year-old daughter, creating a cocoon of love and support.

In a gentle tone, you explain to your daughter as simply as you can, "Sweetheart, sometimes things don't go the way we want them to. Daddy's feeling a little sad because he lost the race unfairly." You hold her close, feeling her small body pressed against yours as you try to convey the complexity of the situation in a way that she can understand.

"But you know what?" you continue, your voice soft and reassuring.

"Daddy did his best, and that's what matters most. We're proud of him no matter what." You press a kiss to her forehead, feeling her tiny arms wrap around you in a comforting hug.

As you hold your family close, you know that while the disappointment of the race may linger, the love and support you share will always be there to carry you through even the toughest of times.

As Lewis watches you explain the situation to your daughter with such grace and compassion, he feels his heart swell with love and appreciation. In that moment, he's overwhelmed by a profound sense of gratitude for having you by his side, supporting him through the highs and lows of life.

Seeing the tenderness and care with which you handle the situation fills him with a deep sense of warmth and reassurance. He's reminded once again of the incredible bond that the three of you share, a bond that transcends any disappointment or setback.

In your embrace, Lewis finds solace and comfort, knowing that no matter what challenges may come their way, they'll face them together as a family. And as he looks at you with admiration and affection, he's reminded of just how lucky he is to have you by his side, guiding him with your unwavering love and support.

"But you know what always makes Daddy feel better, beautiful girl?"

She perks up, her eyes igniting in a sparkle.

"What is it, mamas?" You inquire with a dramatic, inquisitive look on your face.

"A kiss?" she guesses, and you lean forward, pressing your lips to her tiny nose.

"You're so smart baby, a kiss. They always make Daddy feel better," You turn to Lewis, a loving look on your face, "Isn't that right baby, you want some kisses?"

Lewis can't help the smile that graces his lips as you peer up at him. "Kisses would make me feel a whole lot better right now." He admits.

He lowers his head, allowing your daughter to reach his cheek and you lift onto your tip toes, pressing your own against his forehead. You speak life into him as you pull away and linger in his embrace.

As you gaze into Lewis's eyes, filled with a mixture of sadness and uncertainty, you feel an overwhelming surge of love and admiration for him. Gathering him close, you speak from the depths of your heart, "Lewis, I am so proud of you. You are a winner in every sense of the word, even if the score won't reflect that."

You hold Lewis close, your arms wrapped tightly around him, as you speak softly into his ear. "I'm so proud of you," you say, your voice filled with love and sincerity. "You're a winner, no matter what the scoreboard says. I love you more than words can express."

You gently stroke his back, feeling the tension slowly melt away under your touch. "You're so resilient," you continue, your voice steady and reassuring. "No matter the challenge, you always rise above it. I believe in you, Lewis. And I'll always be here to support you, no matter what."

In the hushed silence of the garage, all eyes are fixed on the tender moment unfolding between your family. The atmosphere is charged with a palpable sense of adoration and respect as the team members observe the heartfelt exchange.

There's a softness in their gazes as they witness the love and support shared between you, Lewis, and your daughter. It's a reminder of the human connections that transcend the fast-paced world of racing, a testament to the strength of family bonds in the face of adversity.

At that moment, the sound of engines and clattering tools fades into the background, replaced by the quiet reverence of those gathered around you. It's a scene that speaks volumes without a single word, a powerful reminder of the importance of love, resilience, and unity in the face of life's challenges.

And as the moment lingers, bathed in the soft glow of camaraderie and understanding, it's clear that your family's bond is a beacon of hope and inspiration for all who witness it.

As he stands on the podium, forced to watch his rival celebrate triumphally, a wave of raw emotion washes over him. He fights to keep the tears at bay, to maintain his composure in the face of defeat, but it's a losing battle.

The weight of disappointment hangs heavy on his shoulders as he watches the celebrations unfold around him. His heart is heavy with the knowledge that he came so close yet fell agonizingly short. As he reflects on the season that was, he knows that the pain of this loss will stay with him for a long time to come.

With a determined stride, Lewis hurries to escape the podium, his heart yearning for the comfort and solace of your embrace. As he navigates through the crowd, his only thought is of finding his place in your arms again, where he can seek refuge from the tumultuous night he's endured.

When he finally reaches you, he pulls you and your daughter close, enveloping you both in a tight embrace. The warmth of your bodies pressed together soothes his frayed nerves, easing the weight of the disappointment he carries.

With a sigh of relief, Lewis sinks into the comfort of your embrace, feeling the tension slowly melt away with each passing moment. He closes his eyes, reveling in the simple pleasure of being surrounded by the ones he loves most in the world.

In that moment, nothing else matters except the love and warmth shared between your family. And as you hold each other close, you find solace in the knowledge that together, you can weather any storm that comes your way.

"What'd you have to tell Daddy, baby?"

"You are still a cham-"

You giggle at your daughter, reaching up to pinch at her cheeks as Lewis holds her up in one arm, "champion." you whisper.

And she nods with squinted eyes, turning to face her daddy again. "You are still a champion."

Lewis coos, pressing a kiss to her cheek and squeezing you tighter into his side.

"My victor." You hum, "Let's get back to the hotel? Have a relaxing bath and some dinner?"

Lewis nods, his heart thumping no longer from disappointment but from love.

As Lewis basks in the warmth of your embrace, surrounded by the love of his family, he feels a profound sense of contentment wash over him. The burden of the lost title fades into the background, overshadowed by the overwhelming love he feels for you and your daughter.

He marvels at the way you effortlessly know how to be there for him, how you always seem to say all the right things to comfort and uplift him. And as he watches you pass on that same love and wisdom to your daughter, his heart swells with pride and gratitude.

In this moment, nestled together in the comfort of your bed, with your daughter snuggled between you, snores filling the room with a symphony of peaceful sounds, Lewis feels genuinely at peace. He gazes into your eyes, filled with tender love and appreciation, knowing that no matter what challenges may come their way, as long as he has you and your daughter by his side, he has everything he needs to find happiness and fulfillment.

short and cute request!

My requests are still open. You can leave it in my asks, and I'll get to writing it as soon as I can. 🫶🏽

#lewis hamilton #lewis hamilton imagine #black reader friendly #sir lewis hamilton #formula 1 #laneywrldrequests #laneywrld

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dizscreams · 1 year

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“FINDING LOVE, BEYOND THE SEA”

— Ethan Landry ★

PAIRING: Ethan Landry x fem!mermaid!reader

SUMMARY: Ethan explored the beach and he finds you and its all fluffy or whatever woooohoooo

A/N: saw the little mermaid yesterday and since I only ever think of Jack/Ethan this idea came to mind lol enjoy :)

TAGS: @xyzstar @ourloveisgod23 @wenvierismycomfort @beary-rambles @aesthetixhoe @dizzyscreams @mbankfav @aqellano @c8rdigan @jakesgirll @astermath @gabbylovesreading

“Don’t go too far, dude. Sam will kill me if I loose one of you idiots,” Chad said to Ethan as he put on his sunglasses. Ethan only rolled his eyes in reply and went off. He liked the beach, it was calm, it was pretty, but he preferred walking through the sand than swimming in the ocean. He put his AirPods in and looked around.

People were running around, some tanning some burning from the scorching sun, some surfing or swimming. He ended up walking far enough to the point where less and less people were. Ethan checked his phone and it had only been 15 minutes so he kept walking.

He kept walking until he found a secluded place near some rocks. It was a lagoon surrounded by palm trees and plants. If he didn’t go closer to it he would’ve never known it was there. He thought it was interesting but Ethan was hardly the type to explore further so he turned around.

As he was about to walk back to the beach he heard something. It sounded like a splash so he turned back around, but there was nothing there. He squinted his eyes to try and see into the almost clear water but there was nothing he could see. He went to walk away again but heard another splash so he quickly turned around and saw something or someone.

He saw you, you who had popped your head out of the water and had your arms propped up on a rock, you who had gorgeous eyes, who had a seashell top, who had scales and a tail. Ethan stumbled backwards at the sight. Maybe he had been in the sun too long. Maybe it was just a fake tail and you were trying to prank people. He stood there looking at you while you looked at him too.

You had never seen a human this close before. You had barely seen one at all before. Your people thought they were dangerous, but something about this one excited you. “I wont bite, I promise,” you told him sweetly. You examined his pretty features, he had brown eyes and curly hair, he was gorgeous.

“Um, what- uh what are you?” He stammered and took another small step backwards. The poor boy seemed terrified. “Would you believe me if I said a mermaid? I know it seems silly.” You slowly got out of the water and sat on a rock not facing him. “There’s no reason to be scared though, I won’t hurt you.”

You figured mermaids didn’t get a great reputation, but if anything mermaids were more scared of humans.

He watched as your hands squeezed the water out of your hair and he watched your tail. It was still in the water moving back and forth slowly. “How are you real?” He asked moving forward a bit. It didn’t make any sense to him. Ethan always liked facts more than make believe. It made him feel safer knowing than not.

You shrugged at his question, “Not sure. The same as you I suppose,” you giggled looking at him, “Nobody ever comes over here. Not humans not mermaids, it’s usually just me. It’s a cool spot isn’t it?”

He nodded and you frowned, “I’m sorry for scaring you,” you said quietly, “Would you like me to leave?”

One part of Ethan wanted to run away like the coward he was but some other part of him shook his head at you, “No, you can stay. This is your place anyways, would you like me to go?” His voice was small and he found himself stuttering a bit. “No, you can stay,” you said smiling. Your presence was calming and your smile was so contagious that Ethan smiled back.

“Would you like to sit?”

“Um yeah sure.”

Ethan walked towards you slowly and sat down on the rock next to you. You were even more beautiful now that he could see you better. You were practically glowing in the sunlight. “So, what’s your name human?” You asked curiously, tilting your head. “Ethan, what’s yours?” “Y/n.” “That’s pretty,” he said quietly. “Thank you,” you smiled.

“What’s that in your ears?” You asked poking him, to which he slightly flinched at. He didn’t even realize his AirPods were still in his ears. “Headphones, they allow you to listen to music.”

Your face contorted to one of confusion and he laughed, “Here, take one.” He gently gave you one and helped you put it in your ear correctly. You slightly shivered at the contact plus his voice in your ear, “There, like that.” He pulled away from you and looked at his phone to see the song playing. He decided it was appropriate enough for you and looked at you, waiting for a reaction.

Your mouth was slightly open and your eyes were wide, “This is weird but it’s amazing!”

He laughed and nodded. You both sat there in comfortable silence listening to music together before you pointed to the top of his head. “What are those?” He felt the top of his head and found that his sunglasses were still there. He grabbed them, “These?” You nodded and he took them off. “Sunglasses. These help keep the sun out of your eyes.”

“Can I put them on?”

“Sure,” he shrugged before handing them to you.

You put them on backwards causing him to laugh, “Like this,” he gently grabbed them off your face and flipped them before handing them back to you. You put them back on correctly this time. “Perfect,” he said smiling. You smiled back and looked around. “I like them. Do I look cool?”

He chuckled at you, there was something just so innocent about you. “Yeah, you do.”

He wanted to know more about you and he wanted to show you more. He guessed you didn’t know a lot of human stuff.

Ethan’s phone vibrated and he checked it to see a text from Chad.

Chad

Dude where are you were about to leave

Ethan muttered a curse and got up, “Hey, I have to go, my friends are waiting for me.” You frowned and handed him back his AirPods quickly but he stopped you when you tried taking off the sunglasses. “You can keep them, they suit you.”

You smiled and jumped into the water. You put your hands on the rock and looked up at him, “Will I see you again?” He smiled and nodded, “I’ll be back soon, I promise.”

“Maybe next time you can swim with me!”

“Yeah, maybe.”

You flapped your tail and went back underwater. He watched as you swam away gracefully and he walked away.

He made a mental note for when he got home that he’d do as much research on mermaids as humanly possible. He definitely couldn’t tell anyone about this.

What a weird day.

Don’t like this lmao but couldn’t get the idea out of my head 😣

#dizzy writes?! 😵‍💫#not proofread #BEARY ML I JUST SAW U WERE GOING TO DO THIS AND IM SORRY I SWEAR I DIDNT STEAL IT FROM YOU #scream 6 #ethan landry #ethan landry x reader #ethan landry imagine #ethan landry thoughts #ethan landry fluff #jack champion

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jazeswhbhaven · 4 months

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That's What You Get When You Eat a Mandrake~ (Beel Butt L-Card Story: Ch.1) *React I*

-the bby

WE ARE LIVING IN AVISOS LATELY HUH?? Sure we got a healthy dose of our Hades bois, but there's been a lot of content with Avisos popping up lately and I'm like huh...it seems the fave locations are Gehenna and Avisos as opposed to Tartaros and Hades. Anyway this is the first node of the Beel booty story (hooray everyone that got it!) I would technically say this isn't spoilers unless you were unable to get the card then it's technically spoilers but everyone's seen it I assume but just in casseeee

LETS GO another two-parter...this time because there's a new boo I get to ramble about. Get yourself a snackkyyy snack and let's go ( ˘▽˘)��♨

First we enter Dong-gyun that is at this gift store having his home-made butt shaped chocolates get wrapped professionally

Let me just say that Dong-gyun is a d o r a b l e. And I love him so much. For some reason he reminds me of Yoosung from MYMES and idk why when they clearly aren't the similar just the blonde hair lmao

Maybe it's the soft boi casual hoodie-wearing vibes I'm loving? Anyways

Poor bby was kicked out of the store for being a bit overbearing lol that and it's busy with everyone celebrating their first valentines day in Avisos because MC is also there (they truly do party for any reason it's great) Because they're out here making out, doing shit in the streets like this is wild lol

But DonBear (my nickname for him) made the chocolates for MC :)))) he has like a huge one-sided crush on them and I think that's just the cutest thing.

I also want to add that he's not one of the 72 either, he's just a regular day-to-day lower-level devil and I love that we get to see that. I wanna know how life is for devils who just are "there" ya know?? Like Nina for instance (RIP ;.;)

So he finds out where MC is at and he notices everyone and their mom (except for the 7 grandmothers, i wanna know more about that actually :o) are there with chocolates they have given MC. But he doesn't mind waiting in line.

I only wanted to add this screenshot because I'm crying, Minhyeok forever in the friendzone trenches because "friendship chocolates?????" free this man please.

Ahhh so our DonBear was able to to make it and he prepares to give his chocolates until....

First. Why

HOT???

I can imagine how his jaw had to unhinge unhumanly to eat that pile of chocolate and I'd just be like o__o oh

Second...girl...he gonna give you back that chocolate alright if you want (yes this is a poop joke. no i am not into that i just find it funny mc really sat there and asked for it back like you're either gonna get vomit or poop which one?)

The funny part tho is Beel is casually like "I already ate it tho"

Yes bby we know that. I'd like for you to replace it because you prefer to be childish and eat things that don't belong to you to show your dominance or whatever okay <3

See? See the fucking snark this one has?

>:P he's getting bitten

Leave DonBear alone D: at least let us eat our butt shaped chocolates he spent time making from scratch (also look at his face I'll protect you omg)

Beel.

Beel. Beel. You're going in time-out I swear. The naughty corner.

Sigh....maybe you'll be forgiven if you let DonBear make another batch of chocolates for me

AND this part? Where Beel fainted and is having some kind of episode???? I was like omfg it's whatever was in the chocolates isn't it? It's the damn mandrake stuff isn't it?

And our Avisos bois came to the rescue immediately because they thought it was some kind of attack. (it's really cool how they can sense stuff like this immediately)

So while everyone's trying to help Beel and figure out what's wrong with him and take him to the hospital and such (and dragging DonBear along because they suspect it's him that did it) we go into a flash back!!!

So Dong-hyung was hanging out and being the designated driver kinda friend (the one that stays sober and watches the others) but he doesn't really drink like that anyway so he doesn't mind babysitting.

LMAO so these two characters waltz into the bar and DonBear is kinda side-eyeing them because I mean I'm crying why is MC a clown? xD it makes me think of those memes again dammit

MC showing their ID at the bar 💀💀💀💀💀💀

anyways

So what's funny is that MC is me because they're drunk asf slurring and saying some shit and Beel is just thinking this is cute and just letting it happen such a bad influence... xD

ME coded.

Silly drunk clown bitch hours.

My ass would be laughing at everything and saying the floor is lavvvaaa Beel...the floor is lavvvaaaaaa carry meeeeee

So iirc MC ends up bumping into DonBear and he just knows how to handle the situation perfectly and this was after he realized that it was Beel and MC in disguise and not just two randos in the bar.

Beel gestured for him to come outside with them and he's fanboying about the situation and I find that entirely cute. He's a sweetie and I want good things for him.

DREAM ON DONG-HYUNG I BELIEVE IN YOUUUU????

even though we all pretty much know how this works though for the most part when it comes to who is the designated 72. Someone should draw him in the uniform though (throwing this idea out there)

LOL so he flopped MC on DonBear and is just like so this kind of night arouses angels...so hold MC for me in case I have to fight or something. And I'm just like oh dear...the poor bby is kinda struggling to carry MC are they that heavy? Lol

He's so determined. I love it

So here, DonBear is asking a lot of questions and one of them is if Bael and Beel are twins, and Beel is like yeah Bael would not like it if I said yes so I'll say no even if we are.

Beel your roundabout answer is killing me lmao

He....he....he almost came from being petted on the nape of his neck?????? *screams*

He's perfect for dry humping, and anything of the sort that doesn't involve penetration because he's so sensitive I love him. I could hug him and rub his back and he'd love it. (granted this means tho that this is only for his favorite person or the person he's crushing on this sounds like he wouldn't react this way to a stranger)

So Bael was getting onto Beel for MC being in this state and just going on and on and Beel is like "Well it's not like I could have just left MC there no way they're drunk :D" so gentlemanly like and Bael agrees that the devils in Avisos are gentleman (are they...? I would assume some aren't)

ANNDDD I've hit the limit my lovelies. (on screenshots allowed in said post) So we're gonna stop here until we get to the other post ^^ see you thereeeee

->Part Two<-

#whb #what in hell is bad #whb beelzebub #whb dong hyun #whb screencaps #whb spoilers #card spoilers #whb reacts

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