(this post is made by an elriel defending elriel and questioning why people are against it... if you don't want to engage its totally fine!!! you can scroll past this post :)

why do you guys think there are all the scenes of elain and azriel through the span of like 3.5 books

...only for elucien/gywnriel to happen??? I'm not talking about the bonus chapter but the actual books

I'm talking about sjm specifically writing a scene where elain calls azriel's hands/scars/siphons beautiful

I'm talking about when azriel gently carried elain over the threshold

I'm talking about when they stayed up past midnight on solstice talking about garden plans

I'm talking about azriel's shadows gathering in the corners preparing to strike when he hears elain is upset

I'm talking about how it was azriel and not elain's mate who noticed she was missing 

I'm talking about when azriel volunteered to go save her when its mentioned he could get killed

I'm talking about azriel wanting to get the chains off of elain when he had blood dripping off him

I'm taking about azriel choosing to lend his most precious blade to only elain in his centuries long lifetime

I'm talking about elain welding azriel's weapon to stab the king of hybern

I'm talking about Sarah specifically writing "I saw the painting in my mind: the lovely fawn, blooming spring vibrant behind her. Standing before Death, shadows and terrors lurking over his shoulder. Light and dark, the space between their bodies a blend of the two."

Im talking about azriel lounging with elain in the sunshine enjoying the peace and quiet (and not lucien even though he's somehow sunshine personified)

I'm taking about elain specifically getting azriel a thoughtful funny gag gift (not once but TWICE) when she hasn't gotten anything for her mate.

Sarah J Maas could have easily chosen not to write these moments/details (like the plot is not going to suffer without a scene of elain and azriel literally lounging lmao) or she could have chosen write them with elain/lucien or azriel/gywn but she didn't. its always elain and azriel, azriel and elain. why is that?

I'm wondering why sjm would specifically include/emphasize all these moments between two people (why she would write about the man literally wanting to get on his knees to get a taste of her) just to then write a story about elucien (where the girl who literally looses her newfound confidence around the male - sjm's words not mine) or gwynriel (where the male says he wouldn't even go so far as to call the girl his friend). would it not feel odd if you re-read the series later? would it not be jarring to have the perfect set up and no follow through?

like these characters are not sentient. every single word on the page is chosen by the author. Feyre did not magically get free will and question the mating bond/cauldron in regards to elain and lucien, it was sjm specifically choosing to write that, introducing us to that possibility. It could have well been lucien sensing his mate was in trouble, (a "WHERE IS MY MATE???" moment that I would have devoured, licked the plate clean) but sjm CHOSE to write azriel saving her. 

before anyone says 3x3 is cliche... wouldn't it be the perfect symmetry? three brothers love three sisters, three sisters conquer the three mountains, three sisters against the cauldron with three legs. Before anything else the series is about the three sisters and the three brothers, is it not? 

I've seen other mutuals getting flak and even I got flak from it on some old blogs but I guess just a general disclaimer (even though this is in my rules)

I LIKE WRITING DARK SUBJECTS

I will of course tag them and keep in mind I never glorify any of them. Abuse, violence, self harm, and various other not so nice stuff is never romantizied, treated as a good thing, etc, etc. Personally I don't see the point of putting in things like that if you're not going to put them in a negative light but that's discussion for another day

And no, there's no fandom truly safe from me putting my own spin on certain characters no matter how dark it may be.

Keep in mind, you're welcome to not participate, not like it, or dodge certain dark materials. I will be as accommodating as I can, I will tag almost anything as long as you properly reach out and talk to me. But for the love of God, no not shame people online for just writing dark topics. If you take issue with it and we're mutuals, talk to me. If we're not mutuals you can always block me and move on. We're all adults, please act like it.

"it was good fun! Surprisingly competitive I would say!"

hoyo rly just went and put straight up whale sonar (Very Obvious clicks starting 1.53) into wrath of monoceros caeli all the way back in 1.1 already while presumably going all tee hee abt it like its just a funky easter egg slash potential lore pipe bomb as if it wouldnt be actively ruining my goddamn life 3 years down the line after noticing it for what it was (yes shut up it took me this long after watching whale documentaries all week to hyperanalyze silhouette of catastrophes sonar to realize they used it before too) like i cant stop thinking about it

like nvm the fucking fact that the title of the track Itself is soooo fucking suspect w what we know now like. isnt it Curious how youd call a song meant for a moment depicting childes Individual Personal rage at Us the wrath of the celestial narwhal. Not the wrath of the "harbinger" not the "snezhnayan warrior" or w/e. but The monoceros caeli . That is what serves as his namesake for this moment in golden house .

they straight up said HIS wrath = the celestial narwhals wrath like Huh indeed 🤨

and Then theres this shit like the tusk drop man like he Already displays shared core characteristics with the narwhal its soo

embodying and embracing a solipsistic character and arrogant ambition so immense the sole image capable of reflecting its essence back at him in full turns out to be no less than the cosmos-cruising godlike all-devouring narwhal?? 🤨🤨 that just fucking Happens to be your own constellation? AND the creature you woke up at 14 just by balling it and tripping on your way down to the abyss??? 🤨🤨🤨 who you remain inexplicably connected to??

Ajax you are not fucking dodging the same/parallel/split/mirrored one singular entity with your narwhal allegations . Like yes its very hard to have anything concrete on the subject of their undeniable similarities but the parallels are paralleling a bit too hard methinks .

(like hypothetically given some themes of chivalry and loyalty and looking after his family in his weird dysfunctional way Wouldnt it be funny if the narwhals core motivation was also one of protection and preservation in its own eldritch way like maybe one thats all abt a sorrowful voyage of entropy and eating world after world with the ultimate goal of preserving life itself and giving birth to a new living one in its own stomach even as the universe with all its stars dims down and dies one da---- oh whoops Thats Canon)

theyre sooooooo undeniably connected but howwww what does it all ultimately pertain hoyo i need the fucking answers 😭😭

anyway tho to talk of the sonar a bit more the singular other occasion featuring it in genshin OST is obviously in silhouette of catastrophe and the thing that interests me in particular is the like. Specific nature of the sounds/references used

bc. yes theres clicks in wrath of monoceros caeli but its also like. Whose clicks? that ones not a question for silhouette obviously the entirety of the sonar references utilized is very much like. You Are Being Hunted Down In The Dark By Sound Alone By This Particular Narwhal. the clicks grind the way sonar of a whale hunting very very close to its prey would. the EDM adjacent beats intensifying and overlapping on the way to the 2nd beat drop invoke the closing in on prey. its looking for you. You are already dead (nani??!?) etc etc

but the clicks in wrath of monoceros caeli are more distant. almost curious? like. literally. theres none of the frantic nature used in silhouette with how the sonar conveys what is quite literally the imagery of a whale lunging for prey right within its reach. the clicks are uniform and sound out during a lull in the melody. their frequency doesnt speed up the sonar is just There. its more reminiscent of sonar toothed whales use when theyre just looking for information . looking out towards anything that might ping back in the distance . just keeping an eye out

and like as much as of a mr "same entity allegations undodged" childe ajax tartaglia foil hat 5head i am. it must be noted that the dude himself has Not exhibited a particular tendency for sonar clicking (and if it was His sonar id be expecting clicks Much more akin to silhouettes sounds of whale on the hunt given the emotions present during the 3rd phase aka bro is angy). but. Well. we all know who very much has and now im kinda just

okay Sure it could just be a theming thing. as has been noted already. ajax' links to the narwhal are Shady. so his boss fight OST featuring both whale call motifs (the electric guitar mimicking whalesong is still soooo) and this particular sonar might well just be intended as establishing that connection too (or maybe even foreshadowing the strengthening of their bond later in fontaine thru childes growth in power). which is already based we love it

but. also . Also. if you just let me get a bit creative (read: insane) with the possible implications of the clicks' presence in particular . Like just a little bit . Hear me out

Did. Did ajax start malding so hard during golden house that his own fucking narwhal (naturally concerned) popped by through their connection to just. Click him up a bit to see whats up with its favorite human . All the while the mans just fully in the flow state murder edition not noticing a thing .

. Is this a regular occurrence

Was finally gonna do art today but NOPE something weird is going on with my med school lab work and now I have to figure it out AND I also don't know if I'm even supposed to go tomorrow because I CANT REMEMBER IF I EVEN SIGNED UP but ALSO I HAVE ANOTHER LAB THATS THE SAME ONE IVE ALREADY DONE TWICE !!! You're only supposed to do a lab TWICE I am fully, FULLY AWARE I've done this lab twice but my shitty brain is being shitty and now everything sucks and of course my mom thinks I'm gonna have to re enroll because reasons completely out of my control but COMPLETELY in hers ffs if I make it through this week without having a complete mental break I'm gonna fucking celebrate

would it be okay if u told me why u like aoki😭/gen😭😭😭😭BEEN TRYNA LIKE HIM FOR SO LONG I JUST CANTT but i love ur art so much so i still consume it otherwise lol

i liked tohru adachi in high school and tbh i think that alone is enough of an explanation for why i ended up liking aoki

been looking in tags for a few days now to see if anyone else found the whole high cloud quintet and related story to be a bit.....poorly written, nonsensical, contradictory, full of plot holes and loose ends, etc. apparently i'm not the only one. (and i'm not even talking about shipping stuff, because any time I saw someone mad about bad writing, someone always replies to be homophobic and laugh about failed ships. weirdos.) it could have been so good but was thrown into the garbage for the most part (IF you noticed all the plot holes and contradiction. if not, then it's a fine enough story tbh. I expect most people to see it on surface level and not read all the little hidden lore bits and try to piece it together like my autistic brain did. which is ok! enjoy it if you liked it and ignore me 😆)

Rita during chapter 13: Wow how dare these people conduct human experiments! This is disgusting and evil!

Also Rita: Works for an organization that does 95% human experimentation and 5% anything else

.

“People are only mad about the ofmd ending because they-” *proceeds to list a bunch of stupid fandom drama that has nothing to do with S2’s overall bad writing, clear lack of sensitivity readers for disability and other marginalized identities, the racism of Ed’s plotline* like ohh okay I see u guys are just able-bodied and yt and don’t want to think critically

no offense but if you watched S2 and all you could think about was how annoying a certain section of Izzy fans were going to be about specific scenes, then you have enormous privilege because the rest of us were over here umcomfortable with the treatment of physical disability and how they made Ed basically a violent MOC that could only be “calmed” by The White Man

Most of the time I am SO LOUDLY ENTHUSIASTIC about being bisexual (at least, like--in my brain or the places where it’s actually safe to be Out™), but occasionally, very occasionally, like once every other year, the Internalized Biphobia™ just decides to show up and then I feel guilty for being Attracted to a Man, when I am. Literally. Bisexual. With a history. Of being attracted to. People of. All genders.

one thing that sucks about theatre is that it literally is built around people coming to see it so no matter how good a production is, if there wasn’t good advertisement beforehand, it isn’t nearly as satisfying

theres no better place for my ichi ringtone to go off than during my exam tbh

yk as interesting as it might be to have varha meet azem i actually this it would end up doing a Number on her self esteem lmao

like the idea she has of herself is like,,, Yes she's strong yes she's the "chosen one" butshe also doesn't know for sure she's got a ton going on outside of that. before she was the warrior of light she really was Just Some Guy who had her uses on the field, there's no denying from her that she's a good shot or handy with a glaive. but also those skills don't really roll over into other areas of her life. she still thinks she lacks in a lot of the softer skills--social things largely, but not just those. before she was the warrior of light, she really truly did Not have anyone else in her life (unless you count her one estranged brother who also survived the calamity. she, personally, would not) & couldn't sort out how to properly maintain relationships past a casual depth. it wasn't that she couldn't get along at all, she just never found herself being anyone's first choice. like, she will fully admit to being an attention-seeing kid. to be fair, it makes sense with as many siblings as she had that there would be a need to stand out, she's just never felt like she actually managed to do so.

intellectually speaking, she knows sh's far from stupid & that again, most of her talents really shine in the heat of battle. but like 90% of her friends are basically doctors, & she's aware she would probably have killed the world a long time ago if all the strategizing was left up to her. she'll contribute to these discussions because she's expected to, despite being really goddamn aware she wouldn't be invited to the table without the Very specific circumstances they all find themselves in.

speaking of those friends, it's not lost on her that she wouldn't have them if she wasn't hydaelyn's chosen. maybe they might have crossed paths loosely at some point, but there'd have been no reason to keep her around. having a title like that has its downsides & can definitely be more of a burden than a blessing, but on the whole? she's a bit relieved that she's been able to benefit from it in some more selfish ways (in her opinion). it's a nice change, people having expectations of her & being somewhat interested in her, even if a lot of that interest is directed towards the warrior of light instead of just her as a person. that bit of distance is weirdly comfortable at times. she's not the most emotionally graceful person, usually being too-direct or at a loss for word or reading a situation entirely incorrectly. she's impatient and forceful & is unsurprisingly bad when it comes to navigating environments like sharlayan. the only thing that saves her is the fact that she's Really good at looking confident & making her mistakes appear intentional. having a reputation helps too.

but azem? arsinoë? it's So clear within minutes of meeting her that she doesn't have these same issues. she's the type of person who draws others in without even trying. she's intelligent and witty and doesn't trip over her words (or struggle to find them in the first place). she's able to hold her own just fine in intellectual circles--hell, other people would almost certainly find her intimidating, if she didn't also radiate the type of energy that puts people at ease. there's nothing fake or exaggerated about the confidence she walks around with, and nothing seems to get in her head the same way it does varha. it's the type of inner-security she can only dream of.

i think at first she would want to meet her, just for the novelty of meeting the originator of her soul. i don't think it would cross her mind until it was too late that she actually didn't enjoy doing too much self-examination, and this would be a weird externalized version of that. and of course azem is interested in her--she's interested in a lot of things, but a shard of her own soul from a distant future would be especially fascinating. but varha would start to pick up on just how comfortable she was in her own skin quickly, and it would eat it her. people flock to azem in a way they never did to her Until she had a hero's reputation, until she offered something that was more than she could be on her own. that was when they were willing to look past her short comings. did azem even have those? probably not.

& varha's never been so sick with envy in her entire life, but she's not hateful about it. one, it doesn't make sense & two, she's Also been sucked into that vortex. azem's presence is... a lot, actually. it's domineering in any room--not unkindly, but she's impossible to ignore. she's also just a naturally charming person; there's nothing to hate. but the more varha watches her and searches for similarities, the more she starts to conclude that she seems to have inherited the more negative traits of azem. she's got the same intensity, gets tunnel-visioned about problems, & will Immediately lose her cool if you push her buttons correctly. all of that would be fine if she also got a sliver of that intangible thing arsinoë has that gives her a gravitational pull. she's like the sun, & varha would find herself starting to burn if she stays around too long.

part of her wonders maybe if venat had a hand in making sure the chips fell where they did. somehow she suspects if she were more like azem, she might have some stronger feelings about life or death situations; she might decide there was too much to live for to take certain risks. but if she felt like she was constantly falling short? or like she could have been a stand-in for anyone else? maybe it made her work just that much harder to prove something.

she's not surprised the present hades has such disdain for her. aside from the whole 'going mad from grief' thing, of course. she carries some of the least-loved parts of azem without her same light. standing next to her exposes failures of her personality that she never even knew to look for. varha doesn't dwell on hades' accusations of being a non-person; it's a waste of her time, especially when she knows otherwise. but she definitely feels like a cheap copy when faced with the original. of course, the general disinterest she'd dealt with from people her entire life made sense now. seeing what could have been--what was---makes her immediately understand. even if none of them had Met azem, they would have reacted if she'd resembled her in any way. she could get how losing someone like that would make you want to tear the world up in their name. and varha has people she loves now & who care about her in return, who would definitely mourn her if she were gone, but that type of reaction? nah, nope. they'd get over it in time; the death would be ordinary, as would the grief. which is fine by her, because she actually never Wants to see that level of destruction created for her sake, but still. she gets it.

no way i choked up again at the boat to the morphic pool ⚰️

oh i think I'm going to throw myself into a ravine actually