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angelicmichael · 3 years

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Imminient Annihilation sounds so dope, chapter nine.

Michael Langdon x reader

Summary: Reader and Michael finally learn how to communicate and decide to start being mostly civil and learn how to tolerate eachother.

Words: 5.6k+

Warnings: Mentions of bruises and falling, unhealthy relationships, manipulation, reader and Michael are both pretty mean in the first half of this part LOL, some Millory flirting <3, extreme enemies to lovers, extreme slow burn, reader is going through inner torment like always LOL, lots of cussing, witch! reader

A/N: First of all - i just wanna say I'm so sorry for not updating this in like 5 months LMAO. That's why I decided to make this chapter a bit long 😌. Still no romance but, reader and Michael are finally starting to warm up to eachother so hopefully yall like this chapter :)

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Dull, aching pain was what welcomed you when you woke up. It started off subtle; faint enough to ignore until you started to stir in your bed.. wrong fucking move.

Your entire body was throbbing. Saying that you felt like complete shit was definitely an understatement at this point.. You almost wanted to think perhaps this could be a result of partying last night but then again.. this pain was different. You knew for sure this was not a result of being hungover.

You winced as you pushed back the covers and stood up, wandering over to the closest mirror as you pushed up your shirt - wanting to examine your ribs - where the pain seemed to ache the most. Your skin on the left side of your ribs had turned into a ugly, mixed palette of blues and purples. Turning around only proved that the bruises had traveled to your back as well. You couldn’t help but wince at the sight and let out a painful moan when you traced your fingers across your skin - feeling the bruises. What the fuck happened last night??

You let your shirt fall back down as you stood - puzzled and thinking about the previous nights events.. and.. oh fuck..

You swallowed as you conjured up the memories from last night in your mind; you remembered Mallory.. going to the party.. drinking.. Michael.. going back to his apartment.. talking.. falling.. and then nothing.

What the fuck happened?!

You roughly swallowed, your eyebrows furrowed together as you turned around looked at your surroundings - something you should’ve done sooner. You felt a wave of Deja vu wash over you; as well as a wave of fear. Being in a room with no recollection of how you got there was hauntingly familiar. Too familiar for your liking. However, you knew you were you.. looking again in the mirror reassured you of that but.. that didn’t solve the issue of how you got from Michaels penthouse to.. wherever you were now.

You stared at the room; puzzled. You were trying to put your finger on why the room looked so familiar; and then it clicked. The hotel room you were currently in wasn’t a penthouse but it still looked similar and resembled Michaels hotel room that you were in last night. Which could only mean you were staying in the same hotel.

Your heart stopped when you came to the realization that Michael must've got you this hotel room. That's the only way any of this made sense. You wanted to think for a split second it could’ve been Mallory who came to your rescue but, that didn’t make sense because you knew she wouldn’t have left you alone in the morning. It had to be Michael.

The gesture almost would’ve been cute under normal circumstances.

The room looked practically untouched besides the bed you had just climbed out of. Your phone resided on the night stand, and as you quickly went through your phone - nothing seemed tampered with. Thank god.

Although, there was a message from someone in particular that you couldn’t help but roll your eyes at. Of course he messaged you. You quickly opened up the message fully, reading through it rather quickly.

‘How are you feeling?'

You bit your lip as you crafted up a soulless response. At least he had enough of a heart to check in on you. I mean it was the very least he owed you at this point.

‘Oh I’m doing just peachy keen. How the fuck do you think I’m doing with bruises everywhere?? Did I get a concussion last night?’

You sent the message without thinking twice. You felt your face getting hot and your heart beating faster. You grinded your teeth; the fact you could feel yourself getting angry and agitated so early in the morning was beyond aggravating.

You paced around the hotel room, phone still in hand. You compulsively checked your phone nearly every second as you paced until you finally saw the notification you were waiting for.

'if we're going to keep talking about last night then it needs to be done in person. How about meeting me at the café across the street, asap. And bring Mallory. I'm not interested in talking to you alone.'

“Motherfucker," you muttered with a quick roll of your eyes.

Of course Michael wanted to meet immediately; it was foolish to expect anything less of him at this point, honestly. Luckily getting ready would be a rather quick ordeal since the only belongings you had were on you. You quickly paced to the mirror and attempted to make yourself look presentable before grabbing your phone and hastily running out the door before dialing Mallory's number.

Thankfully getting Mallory to agree to witness whatever torture Michael had planned for you wasnt hard; Although the pair of you were still confused on why Mallory's presence was required in the first place. But atleast you knew Michael was feeling better if he was still acting in character, being unpredictable as ever.

The café wasn’t hard to find; and neither was Michael. He sat at a small wooden table that was meant for four. A dim light hung from the ceiling above the table.

You grew increasingly more nervous as you approached the table. What could Michael even want to say to you that was so important that it had to be said in person? With Mallory?

A pit resided in your stomach - a feeling that something bad was about to happen stayed present within you even as you and Mallory sat down next to eachother. You offered to sit directly across from Michael, so that you could spare Mallory from having to deal with his crippling stare - but of fucking course, Michael chimed in and demanded that Mallory sat directly across from him.. and Mallory being the way she is obliged naturally. It made the pit in your stomach only grow.

You only wanted to cut all of the bullshit that you knew Michael was about to pull; you just wanted to talk to Michael and have a normal fucking conversation for once. Separation at this point seemed to give you a ridiculous amount of unwanted torment; emotionally, physically, and this point possibly even spiritually. You knew you were meant to be around him - there was no point in fighting the connection you two had. So.. that was why you felt justified in your choice of atleast attempting to have this conversation with Michael, and to make the effort that he barely had the balls to do.

"Hey, It's nice to see that the both of you bothered to show up," Michael sneered.

"Of course we did, Michael. I actually try to stay true to my word - it's not like you can say the same," you stated without missing a beat while maintaining direct eye contact.

You were aware that you probably sounded harsh to any eavesdroppers listening, but you remained unapologetic. You didn’t offer a smile with your words; and you tried your best to remain stoic. A quick glance to your right told you that Mallory was trying her best to avoid Michael's gaze still, most likely uncomfortable at you and Michael's vicious banter.

"Someone seems to have woken up on the wrong side of the bed,” Michael said with a dark chuckle.

“Ha. Funny," You spit out. Glaring daggers at him as you spoke, “As if you slept well either."

"I didn’t actually; but maybe you would've known that if you've been so kind to ask," Michael bit back.

You gave Michael a long, scorching glare - silently cueing him to shut the fuck up and to consider someone else's feelings for once.. but, you dont really know if he was capable of doing that after all.. but it worked.

You felt bad for Mallory; who was awkwardly staring at her hands and fiddling with her thumbs. You could practically feel how uncomfortable this conversation was making her, and not to mention it was painfully obvious.

You weren't surprised in the slightest that Michael seemed to pick up on her sudden dispirited aura, as well. His light blue eyes quickly traveled from you to Mallory; and it was absolutely revolting to see how fast he could go from having a expression of pure exasperation to.. fondness and concern when he looked at Mallory. It almost reminded you of his reaction to finding Madison after you completely kicked her ass but.. the way he looked at Mallory was different. It was more delicate. It would've been cute if.. you weren't in the current, complicated situation you found yourself in.

"Mallory.." he spoke her name with such softness your surprised she didn't melt right then and there.

They finally met each others gaze; and Mallory met him with a smile which Michael only mirrored.

"Are you okay?" he affirmed.

Mallory nodded, the smile quickly vanishing from her lips as she looked over to you, and then back at Michael.

"Yeah, I'm okay. I'm just happy you two survived last night."

This comment made all three of you smile, but yours was definitely fake. You were grateful that the weird, heavy tension that was between you and Michael had been temporarily lifted though. Maybe having Mallory around to mediate all of yours and Michael's conversations wasnt a bad idea.

"I-"

"Me too. I dont know if (Y/n) told you but, the reason why im bothering to meet with you two today is to figure out what happened last night. Due to (Y/n)'s track record, I'd rather hear things from your perspective.. if you dont mind, Mallory," Michael said.

Essentially cutting you off and once again from speaking directly to Mallory.

Michaels eyes, which normally looked soulless and held a degree of ruthlessness in them (in your opinion) had lost a bit of their edge and fury when he looked at Mallory.. but she didn't seem to take notice how interested he suddenly was in her. Right now, she just seemed flustered and put under the spotlight. Her cheeks were spotted a uneven red color from the unwarranted direct attention Michael was giving her, and it was obvious that she was nervous. Her black, painted nails were tugging mindlessly and restlessly at the thin, decorative gloves she was wearing. A typical nervous habit you noticed she displayed.

Your gaze stayed focused on Mallory but you could feel Michael's hot, glaring stare on you. It was only for a split second after he was done talking - but after that second, he was right back to Mallory. Mallory. His seemingly new, favorite infatuation.

It wasnt jealousy that made you question why Michael was suddenly being so nice to her. It was the fact that you knew Michael truly was a scheming asshole at heart. At this point you were guessing he was only being so nice to her because he needed a favor done.. the mere thought made you bit your lip to suppress a eye roll.

"I-I can try but I wasnt there for the entire night-" Mallory stammered.

She looked at you for support but all you could offer was another meaningless smile in return.

"That's fine. Whatever you remember will do," Michael pressed.

Mallory gave her gloves (which she was still fussing with) a quick glance and then continued; looking at Michael while she spoke.

"Well, it was nothing really remarkable. I'm sure (Y/n) could tell you more than I can but, I saw you get drunk. Incredibly drunk and then.. well that's it. I went back to Robichaux's after that."

Her words left you astonished. How was that all she had to say?? Where was the part where she came back for you? Wasn't she the one who put you into the bed in the hotel room you woke up in, this morning? You knew it was most likely Michael who put you in the hotel last night but, a small part of you was still hoping it could've been Mallory.

"Wait.. what? But that's not everything, it cant be.. I-" The farther your words progressively came out of your mouth the longer your sentence ran.. or as long as Michael allowed too before once again interrupting.

"Mallory.. I think me and (y/n) will be good talking about things one on one from here. As much as I've enjoyed your company; I can only tolerate so many witches and.. according to nature; sadly it has to be this one," Michael flickered his eyes toward you, obviously referencing you in the latter part of his sentence.

Profanities that started with every letter of the alphabet ran through your head at his attempt of trying to be sweet. He extended his hand out to squeeze Mallory's - and after she said her goodbyes, she was quickly gone. Out of the venue.

Looked like it was just you and your favorite villain again.

As much as you loved Mallory and cherished the friendship you two had - you were kind of glad she was gone. The fact you could admit that to yourself with confidence shocked you but.. you felt as if you had to act like a nicer, polished version of yourself that just wasnt truly you around her. As much as your hatred for Michael still ran deep, you were free to act authentic around him - and atleast now you were completely free to call him out on whatever bullshit he just tried to pull off.. and that realization that you now had no bounds was.. completely freeing.

"So, what the fuck was that?"

"What?" Michael asked.

His voice was raised in a defensive, annoyed manner.

"How you were treating Mallory.. what do you want from her?"

You studied the man sitting across from you at the table, and you smugly noticed how even he seemed to be more relaxed now that Mallory was gone.. He was slightly bent over the table now with his elbows resting on the surface, but after your question - he brought one of his ring adorned hands up to his mouth, a poor attempt to stifle a laugh.

"So you noticed," He commented.

You watched as he dropped his hand from his mouth back down to the table in one swift movement.

"It was hard not too," You said.

The predator like focus was lively in his eyes again as he studied you. He was moving a bit in the chair he was sitting in - fully shifting and angling his body towards you. You knew you had his full, undivided attention now.. but this time you planned on taking full advantage of it.

"But.. just please leave her out of it, Michael. I'm serious. Mallory has enough on her plate already, she doesn't need... to be involved," you added.

You struggled to find the proper word to use for last part of your sentence. Labeling whatever this situation was still felt incredibly odd and- just really added to your point that Mallory didn't need to be involved or kept in the loop about things anymore.. It was obvious that Michael was starting to finally warm up to you and.. it seemed he was almost starting to trust you too. Almost.

Michael solely smirked at your words and gave a brief hum as a placeholder for a laugh, like your words weren't worthy of being praised or encouraged by something as gracious as a full on laugh.

"Oh, Dont worry (y/n). I wasnt planning on involving her. It was satisfying enough just to see someone with so much power and potential reduced to a blushing mess.. but - I'm done talking about your dear friend Mallory."

You dont realize that you've slowly stopped breathing until you feel the slow but urgent feeling of gradual suffocation constrict your lungs.. Was it possible he was alluding to you, and maybe not Mallory at all in his last sentence?

Was it really stupid at this point to consider that maybe him flirting and being so stupidly nice with Mallory was just another manipulation tactic.. to see how you'd react? Maybe.

"I only.. wanted to thank you for what you did," Michael stated - finally getting to the point.

Your stomach flipped. The emotions you were feeling before were already laced with confusion and uncertainty but - pining how you felt now never seemed more impossible.

"What I.. did?"

You looked at Michael's body language for answers while he verbally stalled. Both of his elbows were now resting on the table, both hands clasped together as his cheek rested on them. He looked soft.. vulnerable too, but it still didn't compare to how he looked when he gazed at Mallory earlier.. or even Madison. The way he looked at you was completely and utterly different. It was the way that his eyes darkened whenever you two happened to make prolonged eye contact. You thought maybe his pupils could just be dilated but then again, Michael was nothing like normal.. Or that's what you tried to tell yourself anyway. It was creepy to say the least, and deeply unsettling. Even when his eyes nearly changed to black; the rest of his face still upheld a sad, genuine, softness. You still weren't scared of him.

"Yes. What you did.. last night. You didn't have to do what you did but, I just wanted to tha-"

"Wait, you remember?" your words come out; rushed and sonorous. Striking like thunder.

Just the mere thought that Michael could've possibly remembered last nights events had your heart beating wildly in your chest. You felt the nausea in your stomach for a split second until you felt it start to spark up into your throat - you were only seconds away from getting sick. How fucking embarrassing was it that he remembered everything.. was he even truly drunk, at all?

The sudden, rash embarrassment that you felt must've been apparent to Michael because.. he looked concerned for you. His eyebrows were slightly creased and the light blue in his irises were darkened and swarmed with emotion.

You started to move to get up; at this point you weren't concerned with finding a bathroom necessarily - you just needed a fucking break. Michael's company was intoxicating; exactly like a drug.. no matter how much you truly hated him and wanted nothing more than to see him put in his place; he still managed to pull you in effortlessly. The type of territory you were headed into with Michael with purely dangerous. You remember Cordelia warning you not to get attached; and you certainly weren't so far.. so far.

The affect Michael had on women (and men, and really all types of people) was blatantly obvious. He drew people in so fucking easily, he was basically a magnet. He was beautiful, charismatic, had money, and was goal driven (even though his goals were horrific, like ending the world) - he met all the qualifications and standards most people had for a boyfriend. Including your own.

You couldn't decide whether it was painfully ironic or tragic that someone that seemed.. almost built for romance was really made for destruction. Destined for it even. But you knew that if Michael wanted too, it wouldn't be too hard to just.. make you fall for him. You suppose when it came down to it, that's why his prescense was so overwhelmingly suffocating.

It wasnt Michael that you were truly infuriated at; it was what this whole situation stood for. Sure, your life pre-switching wasnt the best but.. you missed the normalcy and the routine. The lack of chaos was something you dreamed about. Now, you were beyond fucked - going from having basically no powers to being stronger than Mallory herself, as well as being destined to help set up your soulmates death was far too much to handle. But.. at the same time it wasnt, because everyone in the coven made sacrifices and you know that if any of them were put in your situation they would do it without a doubt or complaint - so why were you hesitating?

There was no denying that when you were away from him you craved and hungered for his attention, his precense.. and it was the realization that you didn't really care how you got his attention that made you try to finally stand up and leave. For the second time.

Michael put his hand on your forearm, an inch right below your wrist. His touch was soft but firm - you reflexively tried to pull your arm back but he continued to keep you under his grasp.

"Dont go. I'm not going to beg but.. I just; need you to understand-" Michael's voice started to break.

"Need me to understand, what, Michael? What is it this time? I need to know that your being honest, you cant keep.. treating me the way you have," the words you were forced to chose made you squirm and bite your tongue.

You wanted to call him out on his pathetic lying but you chose a safer route instead. One that wouldn't burn his ego so bad. Being forced to tell a sort of.. half truth was annoying. It felt like he was in control again, over you, over your emotions.. and he was. He had total control over you, and it seemed as if he barely put in any effort trying to do so. Although, it was obvious he was trying to shy away and deny this whole.. weird arranged marriage as much as you had; but he was finally succumbing to the urge.. and so were you.

"I never lied. Every time I've seen you, I've never said anything that wasnt true.. but, I haven't exactly let you in - either," Michael's hands separated and dropped low to the table, his hands nervously fiddling with his rings. "I'm sure that your already well acquainted with my past or that you have pre-conceived notions about me but.. nothing in my life has been easy.. and that includes switching with you. I dont easily trust anything, or anyone so seeing how you acted last night.. made me realize that I want.. to try to make this work."

Flames of embarrassment licking up your body, first from your chest until the feeling infested up to your cheeks is how you first reacted to his words. Then it was shock that quickly numbed the feeling, like a acute natural anesthetic.. if only the feeling were stronger and could actually make you unconscious for whatever the fuck was occurring now. You licked your lips, completely uncertain of what you wanted to say but you started talking anyway.. letting the words find you as you went.

"I dont want to argue either, Michael. I never did to begin with.. and as much as I dont want too, I forgive you.. and hopefully you can forgive me too - along with Madison.. I'm sorry. I really, truly am and I hope you remember that from last night," as much you tried to sound confident in your words as you spoke, your voice unwillingly stumbled and wavered as your sentence drew on.

Your words came out quickly and unwillingly before you could even truly think them through logically.. Were you really apologizing to Michael, out of all people? The one person who had done so much fucking damage to you, and yet here you were - pathetically begging for his forgiveness. It was past heart-rending at this point; the feeling and realization of how much you yearned for Michael was hurting you, in every way imaginable. You had to remind yourself to not unconsciously hold your breath as you stared at him, but you only found kind - blue eyes staring back.

His lips slightly upturned at the corners, in a odd close mouthed smile. He made direct eye contact with you; Which at first you sheepishly tried to avoid but.. as much as you tried to avoid his eye contact, you surrendered and ultimately gave into it. After all; his eyes were fucking marvelous to look at - and what were you really trying to avoid anymore, after all?

"I remember every word you said (y/n), and I dont take what you said lightly.. I know you were telling the truth and that it wasnt easy to say.." His words drifted off almost unwillingly as he ultimately drew silent.

You watched as he hastily licked his lips nervously; and your stomach did another flip.

"But; if you were open to this.. I honestly want to get to know you and to try.. to atleast be civil. But you have to understand that.. I need your full transparency. I have to know that this is something your truly wanting to commit to because, i-"

Michael shifted and twitched in his chair, and wore a expression as if he was.. insecure.

Even though all you had heard about Michael in the past was complete rumors and you really had no solid grasp on what had happened in his past.. you felt an odd, wave of memories pass over you - but you were well aware that they didn't belong to you. These memories were accompanied by odd, foreign feelings. Ones that were stuck with you for only a split second but left you nearly in fucking tears. What the fuck was that? You met his gaze again, and it's like he fucking knew that you knew how he was planning to finish his incomplete sentence.

You bit your cheek to suppress the overflow of emotions you had just felt, and it was working for the time being but.. you figured that was just another distraction. Something else you to had to suppress and fight.

You first sat idle, your mouth incredibly dry and your throat painfully aching. Screaming for you to stop halting and just to fucking speak. You then realized that Michael didn't stop because he thought you were going to speak.. he purposefully cut himself off. There was something he was avoiding here but.. still expected you to know. Since Michael apparently was so focused on your apparent 'relationship' you figured it wouldn't hurt to start putting effort in and take initiative.. right?

"You dont have to say anything more, Michael. I get with.. what you've had to endure in your past on why you would be so guarded, even counting what I've done to you," you take a deep breath in "and, I dont know exactly how committed you want me to be but I know that at the very least that.. I'd like to get to know you too."

This was as far as flirty that you'd decide to be for the night. Even though Michael's guard was apparently as far gone as your current sanity; you decided that there was no way that you were going to be so carefree when it came to handing over your peace to him.

The time whilst you waited for Michael to react seemed to stretch impossibly long. The minutes feeled like long agonizing hours; your heart beating impossibly fast in tandem with every agonizing second that slipped away.. until he spoke, naturally.

"Are you sure you know what you're agreeing too?"

You didn't shy away from his gaze this time.

"The same could go for you," you challenged.

A sinister giggle escaped your lips, but Michael didn't back down. His blue eyes looked into yours in a way that spoke more words than he ever was capable of producing out loud. It proved that even now when he was attempting to be soft and civil with you, he was still trying to assert dominance. Fuck that.

"I think I'm more than capable of taking you on, (y/n)."

You scoffed.

"Okay, so.. what does this all mean? Like, what does this mean for us, Michael?" the words you spoke burned hot on your tongue with regret as soon as you said them.

"It doesn't mean anything except that I just.. would appreciate if I could see you.. regularly from now on."

His eyes held contact with yours.. It relaxed you a bit to notice how he looked as if he was holding his breath too. So, you weren't the only one that was nervous, right?

You breath haltered; he was still ignoring your question. What were you two? You knew that Michael's intentions with you were crystal clear - for the time being he seemed strict on his 'friends only' rule which.. of course couldn't really happen if Cordelia was expecting you to still carry out the plan that she had intended.. which she did. Certainly she did.

"Yeah well.. Cordelia-" your words fell flat and naturally died off on their own.

You had no idea why you even bothered to mention her name. You knew what you had to inevitably tell him eventually about Cordelia; but you knew now wasnt the time. It was too soon, you needed to wait until Michael got more comfterable with you before you exposed the coven.. and that's if you chose to do that.

"Look, I'm not stupid. It's obvious how strong your powers are.. and your still scared of Cordelia?" Michael looked at you now as if you were saying a joke.

A insult burned at the back of your throat. You tried your best to contain the fire you could feel, coercing you to open your mouth and to act on your immediate feelings rather than on logic.. but, to respect Michael and how vulnerable he had previously been with you - you held your tongue.

"Its not that I'm scared of Cordelia. I respect her and theres a difference. You have to understand where I stand between you and Cordelia, as well as the coven."

"You have no business being stuck in the middle though - which is why.. I have a solution," the left corner of Michael's lips upturned slightly.

Unconsciously you leaned forward in your chair.. a solution? You flinched as you saw Michael turn and pull something out of his jacket pocket; and suddenly threw it at you. A flash of silver caught the light as it passed through the air. It didn't take long for you to realize that he threw you a pair of keys. What?

"W-what is this?" Your voice shook as it raised to an higher octave.

"It's keys to an apartment. This will make things easier; in terms of us having access to eachother and it'll wean you off of having the covens support."

Your lips slowly turned into a frown, and your fingers nervously played with the keys as you put off having to look Michael in the eye.. it was clear to you now that even though Michael had been pretty open with you.. Michael was clearly misconstrued about your.. exact situation and with where you sat with the coven. He had no idea how involved you were, you could only guess.

However; your loyalty with the coven really had nothing to do with the fact you couldn't accept Michael giving you an entire fucking apartment.. There was no way you were going to let him hold this over your head, no fucking way.

You held the keys up and looked at them in a unsure manner before flinging them on the table in Michael's general direction. Ignoring the many dirty looks you got when the keys clashed loudly against the table.

"Even though I appreciate the gesture, theres no way I can accept that, Michael and you should know that."

"Your being stupid, I basically have all the money in the world at my disposable - at the tip of my fingers.. Take the apartment," the last three words sounded as if they were meant to be a threat.

His pronunciation on each last word was stern and final.

"I can't just move wherever you want me too; you realize I'm still a member of the coven, right? And if I just leave- it's going to look suspicious."

"Do you want to leave?"

Your breath came out as shaky when you exhaled. Now that was a good fucking question.

"I.. I mean maybe. Its been hard to live there to say the least recently and it would be nice to get away but I just.. I dont know if this is a good idea," your voice shook as you spoke.

This was the most candid you probably had ever been with Michael. Even when you were intoxicated, you made certain that every word that came out of your mouth around him was carefully planned and strategic.. but, just speaking and telling him what you were thinking right off the bat was a bit nerve wracking to say the least.

Your nails nervously dug into the skin of your palm as you waited for his reaction.

"What's holding you back?" You heard his voice ring out.

Your gaze fell down from his eyes back onto the silver keys that lied on the table. You couldn't help but to think - would it really be that bad just to take the apartment? If worse comes to worse you could always just move back to Robichaux's.. right? After all, it's not like Cordelia wouldn't approve - it was her idea for you to fucking seduce the dude in the first place. And Mallory would surely be understanding, if anything she would probably be excited. Fuck it.

"Yeah no, your right.. I'll do it."

You snatched the keys back from the table in an act of defiance - even though it really wasnt because once again, you were giving Michael what he wanted. Motherfucker.

Taglist: @mindlesschicca @michaellangdonstanaccount @langdonsexual @jimmason @blakescoven @dark-mei-rose @9layerdevilfoodcake @prophecy-is-inevitable @matildaofoz @beautyiswithinchaos @frenchlangdon @instincts-baby @melodylangdon @littledemondani @langdons-pinkyring

let me know if you would like to be added :)

#michael x reader #michael langdon x reader #michael langdon fanfic #ahs fanfic #cody fern fanfic #my fic #my writing #as always ill crosspost to ao3 in a bit hehe #kinda nervous about posting bc this has a lot of dialouge and dialouge is not my strong suit imo lol #ive been hyperfixating on millory hard lately so.. thats why i added the millory moment dhdjdh

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junetuesday · 4 years

Text

sweetener - [sixteen]

Trial and Error

Pairing: Tom Holland x Female Reader - uni AU

Word Count: ~7K

Warnings: smut, smut gone kinda wrong, alcohol/hangover mentions

A/N: some of the ~positions in this chapter kind of imply that the reader is of a similar height to tom so sorry if that bothers you! other than that pls enjoy as we all try to recover from that instagram story, hope everyone is staying safe and staying home as much as they’re able to ❣

Updates: dunno sorry i thought i had a schedule there for a minute but i lost it

Tom was very tired. So very, very tired.

Perhaps it had been a bad idea to go out last night, seeing as he was already knackered from work and lectures and training, but he and Harrison had gotten home from training and Adam said ‘we out tonight?’ and what was he supposed to say? No? To £1.50 pints? Of course not. So, now, here he was on Tuesday afternoon, not even that hungover but just tired, trying not to fall asleep in a lecture.

Apart from the fact that he’d nearly whacked his chin on the desk three times in the last ten minutes, though, his head drooping as he nodded off, he was pretty happy. He’d had a whole weekend with just you, which was nice, no interruptions or awkward interactions with housemates on the stairs, and you were now Officially Together, which was even nicer. He’d been a bit surprised when you’d brought it up on Friday night - but not in a bad way, he just hadn’t really thought about it. He wondered afterwards what he would have said if someone had asked him if you were his girlfriend, like Ruby had asked you. Yes? Probably? Maybe? No one had asked so it had never really occurred to him to put a label on your relationship, but when he thought about after he decided that if pressed he probably would have said yes.

In any case that was all cleared up now, “Facebook Official” and everything - he’d even told his mum. Well, that might be stretching the truth a little - he’d been on FaceTime to her on Sunday night and his brother Harry had come into the room and said ‘hey Tom how’s your girlfriend?’. It had been kind of hard to gauge his tone because he was shoving crisps into his mouth as he spoke, but it sounded snarky and Tom was fairly sure he had no interesting in actually hearing how you were and just wanted to tease him for having a girlfriend while simultaneously dropping him in it with their mum. Tom’s suspicions were confirmed when she looked directly into the camera with a high pitched ‘what? Who!’ and Harry promptly left the room, leaving Tom to murmur ‘um, well, uh…’ while he tried to think how best to explain your relationship. It wasn’t that he’d been actively hiding you from his family, he’d mentioned you in passing a few times to his brothers,but it just hadn’t really come up. Maybe he should have mentioned it before putting it on Facebook, but what was he supposed to do, just message the family chat like hey btw i have a girlfriend now? In the end he just said you were a friend of his housemate’s and that you’d met a couple of months ago, electing to skip over the part about how he already knew of you from work beforehand because that was quite embarrassing and not really something he wanted to share with his mother, and then he changed the subject and asked to see Tessa before making an excuse to hang up.

Familial video calls aside though, he’d had a nice weekend, and though it was only Tuesday he was already looking forward to the next one. Not just because he was tired and wanted a lie in, but this Friday was Valentine’s Day. He’d never really been bothered about it so he hadn’t even realised it was coming up, but once he did Tom wondered if your “talk” would have happened this week anyway, regardless of the Liv/Harrison situation, and not even because of the actual holiday itself, but because of the night out. Valentine’s Day at the SU had a traffic light system - wear red if you’re taken, green if you’re single, and yellow if...well, Tom wasn’t really sure what yellow was for. Maybe? Proceed with caution? Anyway, you probably would have ended up having the conversation about your relationship status before the party, because it would have been extremely awkward if you’d turned up in different colours. Now, however, you both knew you’d both be wearing red, so that was good to know - that is, if you ended up going out. You hadn’t talked about your plans yet, whether you’d go out like on a proper date, or stay in, or go out with everyone else. Tom didn’t really mind what you did, as long as he got to see you at some point, so he figured he’d speak to you about it later and see what you wanted to do.

For now though, he really needed to concentrate on this lecture. He was trying, he really was, only it was really quite boring and his eyelids were really heavy suddenly, and the lecturer’s voice sounded really far away…

aaaCHOO!

Tom’s head snapped up at the sound of the person next to him sneezing, his body jerking as he was startled back into consciousness. This was hopeless, there was no way he was going to be able to stay awake for the rest of the lecture if he didn’t do something to distract himself. The lecture content itself was clearly not interesting enough to keep him alert and awake, so he decided to see what you were up to instead, and you replied after a minute or two.

nm just back from lectures, watching a movie with liv and mads x

Oh cool what movie x

Even without knowing what movie you were watching, Tom was certain that he’d much prefer to be on your sofa watching TV, instead of sitting in this uncomfortable chair in a cold lecture hall. That was basically all you’d done all weekend, though obviously without your housemates - which was for the best, because it would have been really awkward if they’d been sitting there when the episode of Friends where they get a free adult TV channel came on and you’d asked him if he watched porn and he’d nearly choked on his tea. He’d just said ‘sometimes’ and then asked if you did before taking a big sip of his tea to try and look nonchalant (which was a mistake because it was still too hot but he wasn’t going to choke again on the same drink so he just let it burn his mouth and throat and nodded casually when you also said ‘sometimes’).

Bend it like Beckham lmao x

Arent you in a lecture rn x

Ahh a classic. Yeh i am but

Tom paused, considering how to finish that sentence. But now I’ve just remembered you talking to me about porn and it’s distracting ?? Hmm, no, probably not like that.

its really boring and im tired so i keep falling asleep 😴x

Okay, better, now stop thinking about it. He wasn’t even really sure what ��it” was, just the general idea of you and porn, and porn-related activities, and things he shouldn’t be thinking about in a lecture.

Early night for you tonight x

Oh dear. That didn’t help, because now he was thinking that you were right, he probably would be in bed quite early - but would he be sleeping? Probably not, and he did not need to be thinking about what he’d be doing instead right now.

Tom checked the clock on the wall, pretending to be reading the lecture slides on the screen below it. Only twenty minutes left…

Want me to pick you up on the way home and we can go straight to bed? x

He debated putting a 😏 on the end, or maybe even a 😉, but ultimately decided against it before hitting send. You were supposed to be coming over to his later that evening anyway, but now he couldn’t really think of a reason to wait any longer than was absolutely necessary. Plus this way maybe you would actually get an early night, which wouldn’t be a bad idea considering he had to play rugby the next day.

Sounds like a plan. When do you finish x

20 mins x

He hoped you were on the same wavelength and understood that he didn’t actually plan to go to sleep at 4:30 in the afternoon (though he could use a nap, but he could do that after). He’d find out in half an hour or so, he supposed, he just had to stay awake until then.

It turned out to be a lot easier to stay awake once he had something else to think about besides what his lecturer was talking about, so soon enough Tom was texting you to say he was on his way, and then again to say he was parked on your street. He debated going to the door, but he decided that it was probably best if he didn’t just in case Liv saw him and wanted to hurt him just for being friends with Harrison.

“Hey!”

Your voice as you opened the passenger side door made Tom look up from his phone, slightly startled as he was waiting for you to text back and wasn’t expecting you to just appear out of nowhere.

“Oh- hey,” he reached over to grab his bag from the passenger seat so you could get in, tossing it into the backseat as you shoved your own bag into the footwell.

You smiled once he turned back to face you, reaching across the car to touch his cheek as he leaned over to give you a kiss hello.

“You look nice,” Tom said when you pulled back, settling back into your seat and putting on your seatbelt.

“Oh,” you looked down at your outfit, then over at Tom. “Thanks.”

It wasn’t a particularly exciting outfit, just jeans and a slouchy knitted jumper, but it was cute - or maybe that was just you, it was hard to tell. In any case it was time for Tom to stop admiring you and start driving, the drive between your houses passing quickly as you talked about your day so far.

“Oh crap,” Tom muttered under his breath as you walked up to the front door. His curtains were still closed, and he remembered then that his room was a complete mess.

You weren’t meant to be coming over until later on, so when he’d woken up late he’d just jumped in the shower in the hopes it would relieve his hangover, shoved on the cleanest clothes he could find, and ran out the door. So, instead of stepping back to let you in once he unlocked the front door, he went in ahead of you and went straight to his room to assess the damage. Besides the closed curtains, unmade bed, and wardrobe doors flung open, his open gym bag and workout clothes were on the floor, the towel he’d used after his speedy shower before heading out on top of them. In his semi-conscious state this morning he hadn’t been able to find said towel, so the one he’d used this morning was draped over the back of his desk chair. He was wearing the jeans he’d worn out last night, so at least they weren’t on the floor, but the shirt he’d worn was, as well as the pyjama bottoms he’d slept in, complete with boxers inside them, sitting very visibly right in the middle of the room. A couple of cider cans and the tub from the Pot Noodle he’d had for dinner littered his desk, and the bag he’d brought to yours on the weekend was open at the end of his bed, its contents spilling onto the floor. Fantastic.

“Sorry,” he mumbled as he quickly gathered all his clothes up into a pile and shoved them into the wardrobe. “D’you want a drink or anything?”

“Nah, I’m good,” you shook your head as you took off your jacket, setting it and your bag down by the door as it swung shut behind you.

“Okay, uh…” Tom trailed off, trying to fit his bags into the wardrobe and get the doors closed before everything started tumbling out. “Wanna put something on TV?”

“Umm… I dunno, is anyone home?”

“I don’t think so?”

Operation Wardrobe was mostly successful, in that the doors didn’t completely shut but nothing was falling out, so Tom considered that a win and moved on to straightening his duvet.

“Eh,” you laughed with a shrug. “Why bother then, we’re not going to watch it are we?”

“...yeah, fair enough.”

Deciding that his bed would do as it was and the curtains should probably remain closed, Tom moved towards you, his hands finding your waist as you pulled him closer by the collar of his jacket until your lips connected in a hurried kiss.

Guess you were on the same wavelength.

“I thought you were tired,” you smirked against his lips as he guided you across the room until your back was against the wall, his body pressed to yours.

“Well,” he sighed as he wiggled out of his jacket, your hands pushing it off his shoulders and down his arms. “I was, but I’ll persevere.”

Tom reached for the hem of your jumper as your lips reconnected, his fingers brushing over your waist as he pushed it up.

“Oh right, okay,” you giggled when you separated again for him to pull your jumper off over your head. “Well done, must be hard for you.”

Well, something was hard, if not the act of staying awake. What was vexing him at present, though, was how many layers you were wearing. Your coat and jumper were gone, but you still had a vest top on, tucked into your jeans - and was that a belt? A belt?! You had boots on too, plus whatever underwear you had on - what a nightmare - well not a nightmare, obviously your underwear wasn’t a nightmare, but--

Tom’s thoughts were cut off by you grabbing his face and kissing him again, and that was enough to get him to just get on with it. Your hands shifted from his cheeks to his shoulders and down his chest as he pulled your vest free. His tongue eagerly exploring your mouth, he kissed you more firmly before he stepped away to pull his hoodie and t-shirt off over his head. You followed suit, taking your vest off and dropping it on top of your jumper, then bending down to take off your boots while Tom kicked off his trainers.

His hands on your waist guided you towards the bed once you straightened up, one darting out to stop himself falling on top of you as you landed on your back on top of his crumpled sheets. Kissing as you went, you shuffled up to the top of the bed, you on your back and Tom beside you, leaning over you. Your legs tangled together, your fingers brushed through the back of his hair as he kissed down your neck and onto your chest, his lips following the line of your bra strap. Things started getting more complicated when he passed your collarbones though, and he realised that this was not your standard bra.

A pretty teal colour, your bra had complicated looking straps going across the tops of your breasts, just above the cups. The band was deeper than normal too, a sort of mesh lace covering your ribs almost down to your waist. After briefly pausing to consider whether to follow the cup or the strap (he chose the strap) Tom continued his line of kisses onto the centre of your chest, sucking and nipping at the skin in between your breasts. Your chest rose under him as you took a deep breath in, letting it out in a contented sigh as he lifted his head to look at you.

“This is fancy,” he ran his fingers over the thin strap decorating the top of your breast. “Did you wear this to uni?”

“No,” you shook your head, your chest moving under his hand as you laughed. “Bit much for a lecture, I think.”

You watched his hand as his fingertip trailed down between your breasts and along the underwire as he chuckled.

“Yeah, maybe.”

If you didn’t wear it when you went out, did that mean you changed into it just for him?

“What do you think, though?”

“Hmm?” Tom hummed, looking up to see you gesturing to your chest.

Were you actually asking what he thought of your bra? Or maybe just your boobs in general? It was more likely that you meant the bra, but either way the answer was the same.

“Oh, yeah, uh,” his eyes returned to your bra, like he even had to think about his reply. “Very nice.”

“Thanks… you know you’ve seen this bra before, actually.”

“Oh?”

Tom felt like he should probably look at your face instead of your chest while you were talking, but then you were talking about your bra, so many it was okay if he kind of went back and forth between them.

“Yeah, you know that Snapchat I sent you?”

“Ohh right, yeah.” Now he thought about it, it was actually kind of familiar, though if he was honest he had been more focused on the fact that you had sent him a picture of yourself in your bra than on what the bra itself looked like. “Thanks for that, by the way.”

“You’re welcome,” you laughed again, a cute little laugh that didn’t really match up with the way your hand on the back of his neck pulled him into a kiss.

Tom shifted more on top of you as the kiss deepened, your hand slipping into the back pocket of his jeans to keep his body close to yours as you sucked on his bottom lip. Your other hand was still playing with his hair, your fingers twisting in the curls as he moved to kiss your neck.

“You know it’s funny actually,” you tilted your head to the side as you spoke, a gentle smile in your voice. “I didn’t mean to send that to you.”

…

…….

You what?

“Hmm?” he said instead, his face still buried in your neck but his eyes wide open.

“Yeah.”

That’s not helpful, who was it meant for?

Tom pulled back slightly, shifting to the side and resting his weight on one arm while he waited for you to expand.

“I was sending it to the girls and I just clicked on you too by accident.”

“Oh right… okay.”

He wasn’t really sure why you were telling him this now, or at all really, but if that’s all you meant then that was okay, right? It wasn’t like you meant to send it to another guy. Besides, that was ages ago, things were very different now. Like, if he’d found that out a few weeks ago he probably would have been a bit more freaked out because he had taken that snap as a sign that you were into him, so finding out that it hadn’t been meant for him at all would have kind of shattered that idea. As it was though, he had more than enough evidence now that you were into him, so it didn’t really matter too much now.

“Did you not think the caption was a bit weird?” you spoke again, taking him out of his thoughts and back to the present. “Like, why would I tell you I got this in the sale?”

“Oh, uh,” This is embarrassing - though not more embarrassing than sending a semi-nude to the wrong person. “To be honest, I didn’t read the caption.”

“You know what, that’s fair enough,” you laughed. “I’m glad I sent it anyway.”

“Me too.” Wait that sounds weird- “I mean not just because, like, obviously it’s always nice to see boobs-”

“Well yeah-”

“But it kinda like, you know-”

“-got things going?”

“...yeah,” Tom nodded, a smile growing across his face because yeah, that’s exactly what it did.

You were smiling too, and then before he knew it you were kissing again, his body shifting over yours. He kissed down your chest again, moving down the bed as he went, planning to take off your jeans - and his own, because they were feeling uncomfortably tight right now.

“Oh yeah, I was gonna say-”

Fighting the urge to sigh, Tom just looked up at you from where he was kissing the soft skin just below the band of your bra.

“-you know the other day when you said you wanted to try like, spanking or whatever-”

“Oh, I, uh-”

“- I was just wondering if there, you know, wasanythingelseyouwantedtotry?”

You’d said the last part in one quick go, the words running into each other, leaving Tom blinking up at you as he played them through in his head at half speed. Once he’d worked out what you’d said though, he still didn’t know what to say, because he definitely had not expected you to say that.

“Erm… uh… I don’t know…”

“Oh. Okay, never mind-” your voice went quieter, your face turning slightly as you looked away.

“No, like, it’s just - I can’t think of anything right now, but I’m sure - can I come back to you on that?”

Your eyes met his again, and your face relaxed into a small smile as you nodded.

“Yeah, sure.”

“Cool.”

He waited a moment to see if you had anything else you wanted to say, but you just ran your fingers through his hair and said nothing, so he took that to mean he could continue. He pressed a few more kisses to your stomach before unbuckling your belt, undoing your jeans and pulling them down your legs once you lifted your hips to help him get them off. He swallowed as he tossed your jeans onto the floor, not taking his eyes off your underwear - a thong that matched your bra, barely covering any of you. That settled it, you definitely changed into different lingerie just for him - and that knowledge made it even hotter. Like, you looked amazing regardless, but knowing that it was for him? On purpose? You purposefully dressed like that for him? Yeah, that made it ten times better.

“C’mere,” he murmured, leaning down to wrap his arms around you and rolling you both over so you were on top of him.

You ground down onto him as you kissed, his hands squeezing your ass as you arched your back, rubbing yourself along his length through his jeans. He grunted as your lips left his, instead scattering kisses down his neck and chest as you moved down his body. Soon you were kneeling on the bed between his legs, sucking small purple marks onto the pale skin just above the waistband of his boxers. He was so focused on that that he didn’t even notice you undoing his jeans, until you were pulling them and his boxers down, his hard cock springing free and falling heavily against his stomach.

Tom watched as you licked along his length, sucking him into your mouth when you reached the top. He groaned when you bobbed your head, your cheeks hollowing around him. Your fingers curled around the base of his cock, following behind your lips as they slid up and down his length. You swirled your tongue around the tip as you came off him for a moment to breathe, your hand continuing to move up and down smoothly. After a moment you dipped your head again, taking him back into your mouth a little at a time. Your mouth felt so good around him, so warm and wet, and Tom was just thinking that he’d quite like to reach between your legs and feel something else warm and wet except he couldn’t really reach just now, when it occurred to him that maybe he did have an answer for you.

“Hey…” he muttered, not sure how to begin.

“Hmm?”

Tom closed his eyes for a second, his jaw tensing when you hummed around him. “I thought of something.”

You lifted your head, your hand still moving as your mouth left his cock. “Oh yeah?”

“Yeah, um,” What’s the best way to say this? Just say it, I suppose. “I dunno, you could like… sit on my face.”

“Hm…” you tilted your head thoughtfully. “What, while I…”

You trailed off, nodding towards your hand around his dick.

“Yeah… if you want.”

You hummed again, your hand still pumping slowly while you mulled it over. After a moment though, you stopped and nodded, sitting back on your heels.

“Yeah, okay.”

You moved aside while Tom took his jeans off, but when he lay back down you stayed kneeling beside him on the bed. He said your name questioningly, looking at you uncertainly.

“...you okay?”

“Yeah,” you nodded, but didn’t move. “I dunno, it’s just like - it’s very exposing, isn’t it…”

He didn’t really know what to say to that - he’d gone down on you loads of times, so he didn’t really see what the difference was, but there obviously was a difference to you.

“Oh, well,” he sat up a bit, propping himself up on his elbows. “I mean you don’t have to-”

“No, it’s not that,” you cut him off, shaking your head. “It’s just… like I want to but…”

Tom stayed quiet, just watching you have this debate with yourself because it didn’t really seem like it actually had very much to do with him at all.

“D’you mind if I leave my pants on? Like, obviously you can move them to, you know, get at stuff, but like, I dunno-” you sighed, sounding exasperated with yourself. “I know that doesn’t really make sense, I just feel like it would make it easier for me to put my butt in your face.”

He couldn’t help but snort at that - not so much at the idea but just the way you phrased it. You laughed too, only a little more nervously.

“Yeah, ‘course,” he nodded, trying to make his expression more serious. “Whatever makes you comfortable.”

You nodded back, slowly at first but then more decisively.

“Yeah… yeah, okay. Sorry, I’m being weird.”

“Nah you’re fine, don’t worry.”

Tom sat up more, touching your cheek gently as he kissed you. Your lips moved tentatively with his at first, but it didn’t take long before you got back into it. Your fingers wound their way into his hair as he gripped your waist, your body shifting to climb back on top of him.

“Oh right, yeah,” you stopped suddenly, shaking your head with a chuckle. “Other way.”

Both of you laughed as you shuffled on the bed, turning around and swinging your leg over his chest. Tom held your hips as you moved back, until you were right in front of his face. He couldn’t see what you were doing, obviously, but he could feel your body over his as you leaned down, wrapping your hand around his length again. He had a brief moment of panic when he realised that when he pulled your thong aside everything was going to be upside down compared to what he was used to, but then he felt your mouth envelope his cock and he figured he’d just work it out as he went along.

Kneading your ass cheeks firmly as he spread them apart, Tom pressed a few teasing kisses to the wet patch in the centre of your underwear. Your body twitched slightly at the contact, but you didn’t stop what you were doing, so he assumed that meant he was good to continue. With one hand he pulled your thong to the side to expose your pussy, wet and spread open right in front of his face. He wrapped his arms around your body and pulled you that last bit closer, onto the flat of his tongue as he ran it through your folds. Your body still felt a bit tense, but you moaned around him when he traced circles around your clit with his tongue, so that was a good sign, right?

You both carried on like that for a little while, him eating you out while you sucked him off. Sometimes Tom found it kind of hard to concentrate on what he was doing because of what you were doing, but other times you stopped and his cock was just sort of sitting there in your hand while you moaned and pushed back onto his tongue, so he figured the same thing was happening to you so it was alright. Your thong kept trying to move back between your legs though, and he was trying his best to keep it out of the way with his face but eventually he had to pull one hand away from its very important task of squeezing your bum to move it properly.

Holding your underwear aside, he went back to massaging your clit with his tongue. Your mouth tightened around the tip of his cock as you whimpered before you lifted your head, your hand still working his length as you came off him with a wet pop. Tom grunted against your pussy as you started to grind against his face, his fingers digging into your bum as he guided your movements. He could feel the tension in your body building, your thighs tensing -- until your grip on his cock loosened, your hip movements faltered, and you pulled away from him.

“Ugh, sorry,” you groaned, climbing off him when he let his arms fall away from your body and onto the bed.

“What, what’s wrong?”

“I dunno,” you whined as you turned around, crawling back on top of him and straddling his hips. “I just feel like… like I can’t concentrate? I don’t know, I think I just prefer doing one at a time, there’s too much going on.”

“Okay,” Tom just nodded; there wasn’t really much else to say to that.

“Sorry…”

“No, don’t-” he switched quickly to shaking his head. “I know what you mean and like, if you’re not into it then what’s the point, you know?”

“Okay,” You nodded as he shrugged, but your expression remained uncertain. “Still… sorry.”

“Seriously, it’s fine - now we know.”

“Now we know,” you giggled as Tom reached for your hands where they rested on his chest, tugging on them to bring you close enough for him to kiss you.

His hands caressed your body as his tongue roamed your mouth, reaching around to undo your bra - or at least, that was his plan. When he got there, however, he felt way more clasps under his fingertips than he was expecting. He tried his best to keep kissing you as he worked his way through them, but after he’d undone three and it didn’t seem like it was any closer to coming off he had to stop, muttering a frustrated sorry against your cheek.

“Oh, right,” you pushed yourself up, reaching behind you to undo the last couple of clasps. “Yeah, it’s got like five things, sorry.”

All Tom could think was why though? Why make it so complicated? But he didn’t say that, instead he said:

“No worries. What about you?”

You were just leaning down over him again, presumably about to resume kissing him when he said it, and he instantly regretted it when you stopped and tilted your head in confusion.

“What?”

His only explanation was that your habit of starting full on conversations during sex must be rubbing off on him - why else would he interrupt you when you were on top of him with only soaked thong between you? Why didn’t he just let you carry on? It was too late now though, he’d just have to continue and hope it paid off.

“Is, uh, is there anything you wanna try?”

“Oh,” you straightened up again, sitting up straight in his lap. “Hmm.”

Tom watched you thinking, nibbling on your bottom lip contemplatively, and he was beginning to wish he’d just waited to ask you another time before you spoke.

“I’ve never done it standing up, that could be fun…”

Then he really wished he hadn’t said anything, because frankly he was way too tired for that, but you had tried his thing, so it only seemed fair that he try yours.

“Okay.”

“...okay?” you repeated, looking at him questioningly.

“Okay,” he nodded. “Wanna try?”

You seemed to consider for a moment, before shrugging with a casual ‘sure’. You crawled off him and you both got to your feet, your knickers soon finding a home on the bedroom floor.

“So like, how do we… do this?”

“Um, right,” Tom thought for a second, before placing his hands on your hips and guiding you so your back was against the wall, your arms instinctively looping around his neck. “And then I guess if you like,” - he moved one hand down to your thigh - “lift your leg?”

You did as instructed, his hand holding the back of your thigh firmly as you hitched your right leg up to his left hip.

“Erm…right...” he looked back and forth between your face and his dick, now sort of pressed between your abdomens, as you bit your lip to try and stifle the giggle that was threatening to burst out of your mouth.

Hmm.

Tom bent his knees slightly, using his free hand to try and position his cock at your entrance. You lifted up onto your tiptoes, using your hands on his shoulders to steady yourself, and that did help a bit. He was able to push inside you, but beyond that he didn’t really know how to go about this. The way your bodies fit together meant that he couldn’t really thrust into you properly - he tried, but it just didn’t really work, and you were still on your tiptoes which didn’t seem sustainable, especially because you were standing on one leg and only staying upright because you were pinned between him and the wall.

“Um-”

“Hmm…”

“This isn’t working, is it?”

Looking between your bodies, your leg wrapped him and your breasts pressed to his chest, he really, really wanted to say it was working, but the truth was it just wasn’t. “Maybe if I lift you up?”

“Pardon?” you laughed, a bewildered expression on your face.

“Like,” Tom squeezed your thigh where it rested on his hip. “Do that but with your other leg.”

You just stared at him for a moment, blinking once, twice, three times before you spoke.

“No.”

“Why not?” He couldn’t help but laugh at your flat tone, the confused smile still frozen on your face.

“Because you’ll drop me.”

Tom opened his mouth to say no, he wouldn’t drop you, but in all honesty he couldn’t say that with 100% certainty. He wouldn’t mean to, obviously, but he was tired, and what if he did drop you? Surely that would be worse than… whatever this was.

“...fine,” he said instead, helping you bring your foot back to the ground before he stepped back, cock slipping out of you in the process.

“What if I bend over the bed?”

“... yeah, that could work.”

And lo, it did work. With you bent over the edge of the bed and him behind you, Tom gripped your hips as he thrust in and out of you steadily. Your hands grabbed fistfuls of the sheets, pushing back to meet his thrusts, and it wasn’t long before he could feel himself getting close, the tension inside him built up after so long spent with your mouth around him and your pussy in his face. His fingers trailed across your hip as he reached around to touch your clit, a grunt passing his lips as he felt your walls twitch and clench around him as you straightened up to give him better access.

“Fuck-”

You turned your head to kiss him, all breathless moans and probing tongues into each other's mouths. Your body twisted as you leaned into the kiss, making Tom’s cock slip out as he moved to thrust into you again.

“Fuck,” he groaned again, more out of frustration than pleasure this time. He went to reposition himself at your entrance, but stopped when you breathed his name.

“Hang on…d’you wanna just...do it normally?”

He sighed, closing his eyes for a moment before he nodded.

“Yeah, okay, sure. Sorry.”

You straightened up and turned around properly, your arms wrapping around his neck. “S’okay-”

“I’m just tired and-”

“Seriously, it’s fine-”

“- I’m a bit hungover and-”

“Tom.”

The way you said his name finally made him shut up, assertive but still quiet, gentle.

“You’re fine, it’s fine. That last one was good, I’m just being awkward because I want to kiss you.”

“Oh.”

That was all he had time to say before you kissed him, as if to demonstrate your point - and honestly, you made a really solid argument. So much so that the two of you fell back onto the bed, barely breaking apart as you lay down and he pushed back inside you, your legs spread wide beneath him. Plus, it was nice to be lying down and back in his comfort zone, kissing your neck as he thrust into you, your fingers tugging at his hair, your legs wrapping tightly around his waist--

“Wait wait, stop-”

You both froze as someone came into the house, slamming the front door closed behind them.

For fuck’s sake are you fucking joking?!

Tom kept his face buried in your neck, but he could feel you holding your breath until you heard either Adam or Harrison (he was trying not to think too much about whoever it was) going straight up the stairs. He felt you exhale once an upstairs door banged shut, your hips bucking up as you sighed.

“Okay, carry on.”

He did as he was told and began to move again, thrusting into you. Your moans were quieter now, more restrained, which was a shame, but he’d take what he could get. You bit your lip as he shifted, his arms bracketing your head as he quickly built up speed until he was pounding into you. One hand still tangled in his hair, you slipped the other between your bodies to rub hurriedly at your clit.

“Oh fuck, please,” you whimpered, looking up at him slack jawed and glassy eyed.

“M’gonna - fuck - gonna come,” Tom grunted, feeling your walls clenching and squeezing his cock as he thrust into you as deeply as he possibly could.

Your fingers in his hair tightened, urging him to dip his head to kiss you. You moaned into his mouth as he obliged, your body jerking under his as you came. He kept thrusting into you as he came moments later, his own moans mixing with yours in a hurried, passionate kiss, your hips rutting together as you both rode out your highs. The kiss grew softer as the rhythm of your hips began to slow, until your tongues were lazily dancing together as you ground together slowly.

“Yeah,” you chuckled breathlessly when you finally pulled apart. “We should have just done that to begin with.”

Tom just laughed in reply, scattering kisses across your cheek and down your neck onto your shoulder as he caught his breath. His body was feeling very heavy now, every ounce of tiredness he’d felt earlier coming rushing back after that burst of energy and hormones, and suddenly all he wanted to do was sleep.

“...you’re kinda squishing me a bit, Tom.”

“Hmm?” he hummed, his face nuzzled against your cheek until he replayed your words in his head and understood what you were saying. “Oh! Sorry-”

You unwrapped your legs from around his waist so he could roll off you, before crawling out from underneath him and searching for your underwear on the floor. Tom watched from his spot on the bed as you rummaged through your bag, pulling out a clean pair of knickers and the pyjamas that he’d lent you over the weekend. He just nodded sleepily as you said something about going to the bathroom, taking his dressing gown off the back of the door and tying it around your body before you left the room.

He didn’t think he’d fallen asleep, but it only seemed like a moment later when the door swung open and you came back in, and surely you hadn’t been that quick?

“Someone in there,” you explained when he looked at you in surprise - so maybe he hadn’t fallen asleep, you actually had just come straight back.

Tom nodded again, but this time he sat up, blinking furiously in an attempt to get his eyes to stay open. He couldn’t exactly go to sleep right that second, he was too naked and sticky, so while you hovered by the door waiting for the bathroom to be free he set about cleaning himself up and finding some clean underwear. It was only another minute or two before you both heard the bathroom door open, footsteps going across the landing, and then another door closing.

“Right, be right back.”

By the time you came back for good, Tom had changed into a fresh pair of pyjamas, put something on the TV, and shook out his duvet, and was lying under it all warm and cosy and trying to stay awake at least until you got into bed too.

“Are you actually going to sleep?” you asked as you slipped in under the covers beside him.

“Not like, properly,” he mumbled, turning onto his side holding his arms out for you to wiggle into. “M’just, m’gonna nap… jus’ for a minute…”

He was sure you didn’t believe that - he didn’t believe it either - he’d probably wake up in three hours not knowing who he was or what day it was. He didn’t get to hear whether you had anything to say about it though, because he fell asleep almost immediately, his breathing turning deep and even in your ear in seconds.

⋘ FIFTEEN | SEVENTEEN ⋙

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#tom holland x reader #tom holland x you #tom holland fic #tom holland fanfic #tom holland imagine #tom holland blurb #tom holland headcanon #tom holland smut #tom holland fluff #tom holland uni au #tom holland series #student! tom holland

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jougogo · 4 years

Text

mascaras the haikyuu queens would borrow from my bag

based on my unhealthy obsession with mascaras (pls someone sponsor me)

also there’s a crack drabble at the end please read it im wheezing

shimizu kiyoko

bombastic by doucce: HAVE YOU SEEN THIS GIRL'S GORGEOUS LASHES im so jealous, anyways this mascara has a good wand and it's really good for achieving a more wispy/voluminous/full look IN LIKE ONE SWIPE WTF THIS IS A GODSEND. literally looks like lash extensions, i could go on and on about this mascara. not flaky and this will survive through workouts! doesn't give you raccoon eyes so it's good ! (coming from an athlete with an oily eyelids so dw i gotchu covered) a personal fav of mine teehee, ranked #1 in my bag.

hitoka yachi

it's real! benefit: this mascara is so so good at lengthening and giving off that natural look, which i think yachi would appreciate because she doesn't like too much attention and it's natural so she can sneak this by her mom nope def not speaking from experience it's really great for beginners, and also very reliable and trustworthy. this lil thing will get the job done, guranteed.

tanaka saeko

better than sex by too faced: this mascara just screams I N T E N S I T Y. it's super voluminizing and gives off the appearance of a fuller lash. on the more dry/creamy side so it's super great for beginners or if ur really hungover. also it's v v reliable, will give you wispy lashes every time! my go to when im late which is everyday but we don't talk about that

michimiya yui

bad gal bang! by benefit: another really natural one, good at separating, very VERY lengthening. dramatic enough so that it'll make you look more awake but still not enough to get daichi's attention rip. but this shi!t will stay all day until you take it off. a little more liquidy so you get some time to fix any lashes that are stuck together. also, thin wand so great for bottom lashes as well! 10/10, very much recommend.

shirofuku yukie

waterproof lights camera lashes by tarte: i feel like she's the type to be drinking her water but then when she puts it down too quickly the water just splashes right back in her face?? LMAO or does this only happen to me, but she needs her mascara to be waterproof! also bc of all the steam from the yummy food contests she's conquering! anyways the queen deserves the whole spotlight so she gets the beloved lcl by tarte! the wand is pretty thin but don't let that fool you, because this wand is so good at lengthening and separating lashes. really good at holding curls.

suzumeda kaori

lash sensational from loreal: pls give this poor girl a break i cant even imagine running around the fukurodani team with bokuto's antics, they've definitely broken into her bags more than once and messed up her stuff. so she had to get the cheap drugstore mascara just in case </3 but its okay because this is one of my top 3, the consistency is really good and the wand is so amazing gahh, it has like different combs on different sides so if you have that one pesky pair of lash that just sticks together it'll be super easy to fix. perfect for on the go

misaki hana

kush mascara by milk makeup: you can't convince me that this girl isn't exhausted from the antics of johzenji, which makes this mascara perfect for her! the consistency is on the creamy/dry side so a couple quick swipes will get you the full lash. plus it's infused w some cannabis oil so it makes ur lash healthier (but terushima will definitely try to do some experiments w this so please hana guard it safely)

amanai kanoka

lash next door by brooklyn and bailey: ok ok so my fav thing about this mascara is that it's not waterproof so it's easy to take off, but it's water resistant so that it won't come off when you're all sweaty!! literally perfect for intense practices, and the wand is similar to lcm by tarte so they wield pretty similar results; sweet, curled, lengthened lashes!! and DOES NOT FLAKE it's literally a life saver

alisa haiba

liquid lash extensions by thrive: this mascara definitely the one i use the most! It’s unique in the sense that it’s a tubing mascara, so it’s water resistant which is great for alisa because she keeps tearing up every time lev messes up a serve (we stan a responsible sis) BUT it’s also very easily removed! just splash some warm water and the mascara literally slides right off im not even kidding. she definitely takes really good care of her appearance and will be sad even if she sees one eyelash fall so this is really great for her bc waterproof mascara is such a pain in the ass to remove. also very lengthening

yamaka mika

lash multiplier by revlon: mika is a baddie!! but daishou makes her cry so much she has to rebuy a tube like every month. so our lovely mika gets something easy, cheap, and has a good effect for puppy eyes. this mascara is just like the liquid lash extension; a tubing mascara,,,HOWEVER this one is WAY CHEAPER. u can def find this at ur local drugstore for like 6-8 bucks. great for on the go since it's easy to apply super fast, will get u a nice full fringe in like 3 swipes.

nametsu mai

damn girl! by too faced: how could i forget our beloved date tech manager,,,mai is def the scariest on date tech and she will let you know!!! this mascara is essentially a sequel to better than sex; your lashes will be bigger, fuller, and more glamorous! also the formula is literally so light it's like whipped cream,,, you will not feel a thing guranteed. it's like extensions but m a g i c

extra:

after being scolded by yukie for not getting dinner on time, the boys of the 3rd gym strolled through the dimly lit hallway on the way to the cafeteria. "yo, you know, i heard the girls bathrooms have couches or whatever," kuroo said, noticing the girl's bathroom as they walked past it.

"what! thats not fair!" bokuto whined. "how come the girl's stuff are always nicer? the boy's bathroom always just stinks, and there's always pee on the ground for some reason. like why can't you just aim? it's not that hard."

"well, im sure for short people, like maybe yaku-san or shoyo it's easy. but it's hard to aim when you're very tall!" lev explained brightly. in the onsen somewhere, morisuke yaku felt shivers go up his spine and a sudden urge to punch someone.

"lev, are u sure ur not the one peeing the floor? c'mon, man this is why we don't get nice things in our bathrooms!" kuroo groaned, flicking the first year’s forehead.

"well, it's just a rumor," akaashi explained, lifting the hem of his shirt to wipe off the sweat on his face. "there might not be a couch in the girl's bathroom."

"why don't you go find out?" tsukki taunted with a devilish grin on his face.

"i don't think this is a good idea," akaashi remarked, albeit a bit too late as hinata, kuroo, lev, and bokuto already sprinted down the hallway.

"aww, no couch" bokuto disappointedly wailed when he stepped into the girl's bathroom.

"well, this is a school bathroom after all," kuroo admitted as he flipped on the light switch. the bathroom was cleaner than the boy’s, for sure, but after all the outrageous tales they had expected to find at least a little something out of the ordinary.

"hey, what's this?" hinata was pointing to a bright pink makeup bag that was lying open on the counter.

"ooh, one of the managers must’ve left it behind! whose bag is this, is there a name on it?" lev rushed over to the bag and turned it upside down. dozens of colorful tubes and compacts fell out, splayed across the counter.

"whats this tube?" hinata asked, holding up a metallic pink tube.

"well, what does it say on the tube, dumbass?" tsukki smirked from the door frame he was leaning on. akaashi hesitantly stood behind him, questioning if entering the girl’s bathroom was a good decision.

"better..than sex!" hinata read aloud, a bit louder than he had intended to. everyone froze, and stared at the little pink tube.

"wait what the fu- hold up lemme see that," kuroo aggressively grabbed the tube from hinata's hands and twisted it open

"oh it's just macasara," bokuto said. they shouldn’t have been surprised, considering it did come out of a makeup bag.

"do you think the name is true?" kuroo was actually curious about this. is the little pink tube of innocent looking mascara the reason that girls were refusing to go out with him?

"let's see," bokuto snatched the tube out of kuroo's hand and started swiping on the pigment on his lashes, his mouth agape and head tilted back as he intently stared at his reflection in the mirror.

"it's been 10 minutes since we called the boys, should we check up on them?" yachi said nervously. the other girls turned and looked as if she had just made a revelation. "you're right, bokuto always sprints up for dinner and he looked pretty eager when we gave him his notice," kaori said nervously. "and everyone knows that the nekoma boys shouldn't be left alone, they're chaotic," shirufuku remarked. "that's so true...lets go find them," the rest of the managers agreed, taking off their aprons and stepping out of the cafeteria.

however, they heard the boisterous laughs a floor away. cautiously, kiyoko led the group down the stairs and followed the sound. imagine their surprise when they found the noise coming from inside the girl's bathroom.

"um, we're the only girls here…" yachi whispered. they crept up closer and closer until they were right outside. kiyoko put her finger to her lips and motioned for the girls to line up against the wall just in case. "okay, we'll open the door in 3…" she put her hand on the knob. "2…" it seemed like time was in slow motion as everyone's heart pounded loudly. "1!"

kuroo and hinata have mascara on their eyebrows, streaks of black pigment under their eyes and all over their cheeks like some kind of war paint. akaashi is holding an eyelash curler, trying to curl bokuto's eyelashes all the while bokuto is smacking akaashi's hand away.

"it looks like a torture device!" he cried.

"bokuto-san, it's suppose the enhance the lengthening effect,"

lev is trying to give himself a mustache by swiping on hair-like strokes with the mascara wand, and ever the opportunist, tsukki is in the corner, taking blackmail pictures

"oh, hi!. . . girls" hinata trailed off when he saw the horrified managers through the mirror. every face in the room paled white as a sheet.

extra no.2:

"wait how do i take this off, it's not coming off with water!!" bokuto wailed, slumping against the sink

he had unfortunately, picked the waterproof mascara.

the managers agreed that they have all conveniently ran out of makeup wipes

#haikyuu!!#haikyuu crack #haikyuu kiyoko #haikyuu yachi #nekoma #karasuno #fukurodani #kuroo tetsurō #haikyuu kuroo #hq akaashi #akaashi x reader #akaashi #haikyuu shoyo #hinata #haikyuu saeko #bokuaka

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sakurachoi2096 · 6 years

Text

What is love? [ Chapter 8 ]

Genre: Fluff | Angst | Smut

Characters: Im Jaebum | Got7 | Jooheon (MonstaX) | Reader

Warning/s: none

Summary: Jaebum was your childhood friend. Both of you had a beautiful, strong bond. Like sister and brother after all your families practically saw each other every day. However, he entered in JYP to be a trainee and you was preparing for medical school. Since then both were only able to talk trough kakao talk, after a few years once he was stable as an Idol and you as Doctor, you guys decided that it was finally time to meet again. Having no idea what was about to come next.

Author: Sakura Choi (me)

A/N: lmao I hope you like it

Next thing you knew, you were at home cleaning everything and stomping to everywhere. You turned the speakers on and put some music to try to calm down while cleaning; you just could not believe what just happened. It was the first time to something like this happen and for you to be this upset with Jaebum, you felt actually sorry with Jooheon, since he had nothing to do with Jaebum’s attitude. After finishing cleaning everything you decided to open a Bottle of Wine that Jinyoung brought you earlier, so you just sat in the middle of the living room listening to some music and drinking some wine to forget everything ‘’This was supposed to be a good day’’ You said while you took a big sip from your glass.

You were starting to feel dizzy you actually already had a few drink before opening the bottle of wine. You heard some knocks on you door, you looked on your phone it was past four in the morning; that made you feel scared who could be at your door at this hour. You glanced over the window, it was Jaebum, you went to the door

‘’What do you want?!’’

‘’Let me in ..’’ he said looking into your eyes, you sigh loudly and walked away as he got it ‘’Have you been drinking more?’’

‘’Well if someone hadn’t made this day a piece of shit I would be sleeping now, don’t you think?’’

‘’Look I am sorry for today, I was angry because of work and just took if off on you’’ sigh ‘’I didn’t mean anything I said and with that Jooheon guy I don’t have nothing against him I just didn’t like seeing him being over familiar with you’’

‘’Problems you leave to the door outside because I didn’t do anything do deserve that and especially from you Jae, that really hurt me and I hope it doesn’t happen a next time becau-‘’ In that moment before finishing your sentence Jaebum hugged you really tight, placed both of his arms on your back pushing you more towards him. You felt his warmth; his hot breath on your neck, a cold chill ran in your spine.

‘’I know, please forgive me’’ you sighed, pushing him away because your heart was beating so fast and so loudly that he probably could hear it ‘’this is dangerous’’ you thought to yourself

‘’Fine .. you better go home, everything is okay’’

‘’Are we still going to my mom’s house tomorrow ? Well in a few hours …’’

‘’Yeah sure, we will meet by lunch I will bounce on the dorm I need to apologize to the boys’’ you looked away

‘’There is no need to, I talked to them’’

‘’doesn’t matter I still need to, I wouldn’t like someone coming into my house and making a scene’’ you raised your eyebrow, he sighed at your sarcasm

‘’Sure sure, I get it. Then I will see you later’’ he patted on your head and left quickly, you turned the music off as you picked up your glass and the bottle of wine, you cleaned everything and went to take a shower to sleep at least a little. Few hours later, after waking up you ate something light being with a horrible hangover, you packed a few clothes a put some comfy clothes on. Some sweat gray pants, white shirt, a pair of black all-star and a black cap. Settling everything in the car, you went to the dorm where Jaebum opened the door, you smiled to him as he went in and called the boys to gather in the living room.

’’I am sorry for coming here last night and making a scene, I hope you guys can forgive me. Was my fault’’ you said looking down, feeling sorry

‘’don’t worry about that you shouldn’t be even apologizing, it was not your fault Noona’’ said Bambam looking at Jaebum, at this point Jaebum had nothing to say so he just quietly accept

‘’Exactly but I must say you were pretty angry, scary~’’ said Jackson teasingly, as the other boys laughed

‘’oh thank god’’ you laughed shyly ‘’anyways I am sorry for that, Jae you ready ?’’ he nodded and went to grab his bag

Jinyoung raised his eyebrow ‘’when did you two got things straight again?’’

‘’Actually he-‘’ you were interrupted by Jaebum ‘’I went to her house to talk’’ the boys looked at each other, surprised but at the same time they knew something like that was going to happen ‘’Let’s go Y/A’’ Jaebum said grabbing his bag, you said goodbye to the boys with a hug, Jaebum grabbed your car keys and you two finally left to his moms house. On the way, both talked like nothing had happened, the highway had a really nice view, with a lot of trees. However, the day felt like those lazy days; the sky was gray like it was about to rain. The ride was smooth, Jaebum really knew to drive well he took his time without hurrying, totally the contrary of you, you liked to drive fast and roughly. Time passed by so fast, that you actually forgot to tell Jooheon that you were leaving with Jaebum, so instead of calling you sent him a message explain everything, he replied immediately telling you to have fun and be careful of Jaebum, you didn’t get it, maybe he was jealous but come on, there was nothing to be jealous about.

Arriving at Jaebum mom’s house, she greeted both of you very warmly, she told you how much she missed you and missed you mom, how since your mom moved out it was not the same anymore that she wanted to move near to your mom. Happily you remembered that a few blocks down your moms house there was a place to sell and told her excited, which she immediately went to Jaebum dad’s to tell the news, all you could was laugh it had been so long since everything around you was so hectic. After a while she called you both to eat dinner since it was already late at night and you were feeling really exhausted from the ride and the hungover. The food was incredible, Jaebum mom was best cooker than your mom, which when you were young you would come to Jaebum’s house only to eat her food, you thanked her for the food after eating and went straight to the bed, the bed that this night you would be sharing with Jaebum.

You laid down, letting your body relax into it, and feeling like your soul was leaving your body slowly; almost falling asleep but then you felt the bed moving you opened one eye and saw Jaebum carefully laying down too, to not wake you up; you closed your eyes again pretending that you were asleep. He moved laying to his side looking directly at you; his glance was intense, analyzing every inch of your face

‘’Could you stop looking at me?’’ you said still with your eyes closed

‘’I thought you were sleeping’’

‘’Well clearly I am not anymore’’ you rolled over to your side, you opened your eyes, you were face to face with him, feeling his breath, he had a dark stare but there was something in his eyes you could not tell what it was; again your heart was beating so fast with his presence, your eyes analyzed his features, unintentionally you looked to his mouth a few seconds you looked back to his eyes but his glare was still directly to you, before you knew his hand was in your neck pushing your face against his, his body getting closer to yours, his warmth invading your space, he pressed his lips against yours and you without hesitating for a minute kissed him back. Things were too fast or you were way too into it. He had soft lips, that didn’t asked permission to kiss you he just made his way, like he was already used to your lips, like it was something that belonged to him. Before actually realizing what was happing, you pushed him away very hard making him fall from the bed, you stood up quickly grabbing a pillow

‘’I- I am going to sleep in the living room’’ you left hurried, leaving Jaebum behind who had a big smile on his face.

#got7 #Im Jaebum #park jinyoung #jackson wang #mark tuan #kim yugyeom #bambam #choi youngjae #got7 scenarios #got7 fanfic #im jaebum scenarios #kunpimook bhuwakul #im jaebum fanfic #Monsta X #jooheon monsta x

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samanthasroberts · 6 years

Text

Southern Charm Recap: Can They Get Any More White?

I have emerged from my two-day hangover solely to write this weeks recap. Guess killing brain cells is one of my hobbies now.

When we left off I wasnt sure if I was Team Kathryn or Team Whitney, and I dont think thats ever going to get resolved tbh. However, I did just notice Kathryns facial expression in the opening sequence more or less sums up her entire personality.

Thomas and JD, back at it again with the polo. Cause that ended really well the last time. Can they get any more white?

Whitney has some fruit salad and is making coffee and Larissas like, If that’s cooking, I’m about to be the next winner of.

Whitney trying to explain what going steady means to Larissa is pretty hilarious tho.

Kathryn andKody? Corey? Fuck, I forgetare getting a seaweed facial or some shit, AKA Bravo is pampering them so they can talk shit in style. Nice.

Kathryn is bummed that once she has her baby she has to go home alone with her two children.

Kathryn: Im a 24-year-old soon-to-be mother of two. If you dont think Im overwhelmed and nervous then you dont think.

Wow that was like, unnecessarily aggressive Kath.

Cooper? Cooper! Calls Thomas a 50-year-old playboy and is like,

Cooper: Instead of letting it frustrating you I just say let it strengthen you.

Cooper is the moral compass this show needs.

Meanwhile Thomas is sipping bourbon with JD on his porch because Kathryn really needs him.

JD: Hows the baby? Thomas: The doctor said fine… JD looks skeptical, because Im sure he knows better than a trained doctor.

JD: Kathryn moving up the due date seems awfully peculiarseems suspect.

JD is a regular Hardy Boy over here.

JD: I think women dont like being asked for paternity tests.

NO FUCKING SHIT.

JD is like, and Thomas is like, Its clear hes forgotten who hes about to have a kid with because Kathryn is NOT going to be down with Thomas basically accusing her of slutting it up and then trying to trap him into fatherhood. JUST SAYING.

Its date night with Craig and Naomie. Craig chooses going to L.A. over the biggest event for his company, because hes never been to L.A. before. And Craig wonders why hes not allowed to head a bourbon division. I don’t foresee this ending well AT ALL. Craig, youre a fucking idiot and for once Naomie is in the right to tell you youre fucking up.

Craig: Do you see how hard Im trying to justify this?

Yeah, because you KNOW YOURE IN THE WRONG. Thats literally what justification is.

Cameran and Landon meet up for a candle-making class and I am kind of jealous because that low-key sounds fun. Landons explaining her travel guide to Cam, so Im going to take a quick nap.

Cameran: I think its hard for Landon bc she was a typical Southern stereotype of the woman who got married young and was taken care of and she doesnt have that anymore.

Wait, how is this the first Im hearing of this failed first marriage? How has this NEVER come up before this season??

Cameran: So any man prospects? Landon: IDK not really its kind of sad and pathetic.

Landon is like Same tho. Cameran: Do you think the reason youre not meeting anyone is because you want something to work out with Shep? Landon:…Yeah

Cameran and I are both like, FINALLY!

*Cue a montage of them looking really couple-y* I’m rooting for you guys!

Landon brings up every middle schoolers dilemma which is that if she dates Shep, then shell lose him as a friend. Can we get like, a violin quartet to score some melodramatic music or something?

Craig and Shep make it to L.A. and Whitneys bachelor pad is sick. I guess this is what that Bravo money gets you. On an unrelated note, I have a very compelling idea for a new reality show, if you wanna get on board Bravo, Ill get you in at the ground level.

Craig: I wouldve had FOMO if I hadnt gotten to come out heresothanks.

Whitney: Meh whatevs

Whitney: #NewCraig has taken on this persona thats like, not chill dude.

Whitney basically lets it go with the caveat that he may never fully trust Craig again. Eh, Im sure theyll be fine.

Shep: You know when youre perfectly drunk and youre really good at pool? Is that like when Im really drunk and I think Im really good at dancing?

Classic Shmosby.

Larissa crashes the boys weekend which is not at all chill. Larissa is, I guess, the WGG of the group.

Shep: Should I change? I dont want to look all fratty and Southern.

Well that ship sailed like, approximately 36 years ago. Whitney makes a joke about waking up in the morning covered in blood and vomit. Was he secretly with me and my friends this weekend? Unclear. V. possible.

These two slutty-looking blondes show up and Shep is in fucking heaven. Craig low-key wants to kill himself.

Whitney: The goofy, disarming thing works in Charleston but not so much in L.A.

I’m sorry, Whitney, but who you callin goofy? You’re not exactly a chiseled Greek god over there. Whitney takes a casual shot at Craigs bourbon knowledge, or lack thereof, and now that hes gotten that off his chest this friendship is back on track.

The aftermath of Whitneys party looks a lot like the scene I dealt with Sunday morning. So, like, maybe they really were there.

Whitney: The marker of a good boys weekend is a pool of vomit with a partially digested meatball in the middle.

Whitney talks about how Shep didnt get any last night and Whitney said he had a meeting with Hand Solo which made me LOL.

Sheps like, and Im getting soooo mf sick of this trope. I am convinced Shep just acts this way because y’all expect him to be a fuckboy and nobody challenges him or holds him to a higher standard. Also, there’s just no way his dick games that good. THERE IS NO WAY.

JD is on the phone with Paula and SURPRISE, Craig basically didnt do shit for this festival yet still wants to be head of the bourbon division. The entitlement is strong with this one. Craigs phone is dead, party casualty, so JD is calling around to all Craigs friends like the angry dad he is. Did I mention this was dumb af, Craig?

Also, LMAO at how hungover they all look. Their hangovers are giving me life.

Craig: I just feel like Im being used to do all the bitchwork and its annoying. I lied, THIS is the whitest thing to happen on this show.

Shep: People take work too seriously. What happened to just drinking beer and laughing your balls off?

Yeah Shep, I think this may be why your restaurant is struggling to pay the rent.

Thomas and Kathryn are discussing the ins and outs of labor, which I will file away for future knowledge. Thomas calls Kathryn an expert at giving birth which is like, kind of rude lol. But I guess also accurate?

Kathryns opening up to Thomas about being alone this time around, looking up at him with big doe eyes, and Thomas is like,SHUT DOWN.

Thomas: The timing is really bad for me, could you just like, not give birth rn?

Kathryn: Thats why I like having you around, youre like a calming presence IDK why.

Kathryn, do you know what calming means? Im starting to think not.

Back at Whitneys, some massage therapist named Megan shows up, and Shep clearly has a boner.

Shep: So youre gonna give us all massages now?

Megan: Its like holding space to really connect more with yourself.

Shep is blatantly sexually harassing this poor girl. JFC. This is so creepy. Tone it the fuck down.

JD & Co. is launching his bourbon line at Charleston Cup, this horse race in Charleston. Craig is nowhere to be found, shockingly.

JD: Work isnt all roses and cherries. Sometimes its dirt and trenches.

Im putting that on a needlepoint for my office.

Sheps not going because his grandpa died. OK thats actually like, very sad. My condolences.

We will now resume with our regularly scheduled program of shit-talking.

Craig is taking forever to get readyCraig and Chad from are both the secret Betches interns.

Craig is hungover with an upset stomach and a sinus infection, which is literally what happens to me every time I drink. AKA right now. We’ll get through this, Craig. Emergen-c and green tea all mf day.

Cams like,

Craig apparently slept in and didnt do anything to help JD set up. Which, Im not surprised by, but again, is a really bad move for when youre trying to show initiative.

Cameran: #NewCraig is starting to run its course because at this point hes becoming #OldCraig

Dannis dropping some random whiskey fun facts and Craig is like, Fuck the bourbon division, Im not sure Craig is qualified to have any job at Gentry HQ, PERIOD. How the fuck is he going to be a lawyer if he never wants to do work? He’s gonna have a rude awakening if he ever makes it to first-year associate (I have heard).

Craig is there for all of two minutes and is already like, fuck this Im leaving.

Oh JK Craig didnt actually leave. JD gives a speech and what do you wanna bet Craig is gonna get shafted in this thank-you speech?

Wait for it..

BOOM. SHAFTED. I called it.

Cameran is so into this race its scary. How much money did she put down on that horse? Judging by her reaction to losing, Id say a lot.

Once again JD is dressed like a 1920s fat cat. Live your truth, JD.

JDs like, and Craig is like,

JD: Do you think you should have gone out of town? Craig: I mean Ive never had to give up a trip for a job so

Oh boy, Craig. I fear for you in the real world. I really do.

At Kathryns, she and Thomas are eating dinner. Kathryns going into labor tomorrow morning. I hope they dont actually film her birth. That would be kind of fucked.

Thomas: I want to have a traditional family, hear the shnookums running around, hear the house fill with laughter.

Lol, “shnookums” only makes me think of one thing:

Thomas: I still love Kathryn, I care about her but Im afraid a day of reckoning is forthcoming.

UH OH.

Kathryn asks Thomas how he feels and he says hes apprehensive and shes like, BRUH, FEEL APPREHENSIVE?!

Kathryn: If I say anything mean to you tomorrow just give me a free pass.

OK thats fair, she is giving birth and all.

Kathryn gets up and eats some generic brand Lucky Charms before giving birth. I take it all back, she really is struggling with money.

OK low blow. Sorry. Kind of.

Seeing the sheer amount of diapers in Kathryns house is enough to make me never forget to take my birth control.

Thomas: For some reason, maybe through divine intervention we were brought together. Steven Spielberg I believe said, Ive made a lot of movies, but my greatest creation of all was a child.

So I wonder at what point Thomas is gonna be like Who am I kidding, theyre gonna drag that out at least over the course of another epsiode.

OK enough shit-talking from me. That baby is cute. What did they name him?? How they gonna leave us hanging like that?

div.body_middle_part_right .bodypart:nth-child(n+2), a.prevBody{display: none;}

Source: http://allofbeer.com/southern-charm-recap-can-they-get-any-more-white/

from All of Beer https://allofbeer.wordpress.com/2018/03/16/southern-charm-recap-can-they-get-any-more-white/

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jimdsmith34 · 6 years