#if I am doing anything wrong please tell me
Text
Traumatized people are often advised to 'keep it under control' and 'find a way to contain it', and I always felt it was a fault of mine, if I freak out, or panic, or have an anxiety attack, or can't stop shaking or shivering. Now that I no longer have extreme bouts of panic, I'm starting to understand how much fear, panic and pain I contain within myself every day.
If I'm in a place that makes me anxious, I stay still, I do nothing. If I'm panicking, I will modify my behavior to the point where nobody around me will be able to see and realize that I'm panicking, I will seem happy, and pleasing. If I'm experiencing intense rage or frustration, I will shut down and won't respond or interact with anyone until I figure out what is a reasonable and logical thing to do. I am containing everything, constantly. And it's only a part of what I've been containing and keeping under control, I used to contain terror every day. I am used to circumstances where I had to act normal under threat of violence, threat to my life, every single day. I had to walk around like nothing is wrong while I was dissociating so heavily I couldn't tell if the world was even real. I was blaming myself if there was a momentary lapse of control, if the panic I was containing for months leaked out of me a little. The thought of not being able to keep it down terrified me.
I blamed myself for not being able to keep mountains of fear, grief, anger and panic under a guise, which a human being is not supposed to do. Our reactions of fear, panic and rage are there in order to point out that something is deeply wrong, that we're unsafe, that our circumstances need to change and we need safety, now. Keeping that shit contained and controlled is trying to bypass human instincts, fighting against human nature, and I did that, we all did that, because it was the only thing we were ever told to do with it. We'd be punished for anything else, threatened for any other kind of response that isn't containing and keeping it down.
And now when keeping it down is no longer humanely possible, because we did it for so long we wore our entire spirits down, now we get told we need to do more of it? More of pretense that things are fine, more of guilt and shame for not managing to be a closed human container of panic and pain? We were never supposed to keep that much in. Keeping all that inside and learning to control myself taught me to be what I am right now, keeping any inconvenient emotion down only so I could break down in private, or try to keep it down indefinitely, because I don't know any other way to live anymore. Fighting against my own instincts and fawning at others is just who I am now, and it's not who I'm supposed to be. Panic is supposed to be loud and alarming, pain is supposed to be heard, people are supposed to react with offering safety and change of circumstances that led to this. Not telling the scared, pained and panicked people to 'keep it down'.
#cptsd#ptsd#trauma#panic attacks#containing panic#containing anxiety#victim shaming#abusers never get told to keep their violence and abuse under control#only we have to keep our reactions contained
86 notes
·
View notes
Text
Little Girl Gone Part 6 (Steddie X You)
A/N: Ok, I forgoed the heavy cliffhanger I wanted to end it on but still have one none the less so don't get too cocky! Lol <3.
Warnings: Dom Officer Harrington/Gangster Munson & Sub Doctor Fem Reader, no smut today, lads!
Lots of angst! Eddie was arrested and Y/N gets interrogated. Mentions of deaths involving gunshots, child abuse from Eddie's father mentioned, Eddie hurt pretty bad in this (black eye, bruises, and burns) but not mentioned in in-depth detail. Reader is attacked by someone in her apartment but is rescued.
Word Count: 4271
Series here/ Donate to my Ko-Fi
Falling out the side building, Steve looked around jumping to the ground and reached up for you to do the same. Taking your hand, you both ran to your car and he opened the door for you ushering you in.
After speeding away, he paused on the side of the road to catch his bearings and check his phone.
“Shit. They called me like 10 times. FUCK!”, he growls as he slams his hands on the steering wheel. “I could have warned him. I could’ve—”
“Steve, this isn’t your fault; it’s Gabe’s.”, you try to soothe as you rub his back.
“I need to see what they know and where they are putting him for the time being. Just go home and wait there, ok?”
“What if the cops come?”
The officer sighs as he intertwines his fingers with yours.
“If they do, just remember what we taught you.” As you nod, he hastily leans down and kisses your lips. “Everything will be ok, honey.”
***
Two hours later, the cops did come for you insisting it was just to talk; not even putting handcuffs on you as you rode in the police cruiser to the station. Leading you to an integration room, you waited another thirty minutes before Steve and the detective you had seen him with before open the door.
“Hey Y/N. It’s good to see you again. I’m not sure if you remember me. I’m—”
“Detective Hopper…and this is Officer Harrington. I remember you two.”
“Good. Very good.”, he grins warmly. “Is there anything you need before we begin?”
“Begin what exactly? I was told I’m not under arrest so what AM I here for?”
“Huh. So you haven’t heard Eddie Munson was arrested this morning?”
“What? No, I hadn’t. You people woke me up to come here! Why did you arrest him?! He hasn’t done anything wrong!” Your eyes narrowed as you faked shock.
“Calm down, Miss Y/L/N. We’re just asking questions, ok?”, Steve sighed your way with annoyance laced in his tone. “You are dating a gangster.”
“I’m dating a businessman. He’s not the monster you people make him out to be. And it’s DOCTOR Y/L/N, asshole.”
“Well, if I may doctor, do you know this man here?”
Detective Hopper slides an image of your ex across the table towards you.
“Yeah, I mean that’s my ex from college Gabriel Wiley but I haven’t seen him sense he went in almost three years ago. Why and what does this have to do with Eddie?”
“It seems he had some information in regard to your boyfriend that could put him away for a long time.”
“I hope you didn’t take him seriously because Gabe was a notorious liar.”
“Hm, well unfortunately we’ll never find that out from him or anything else he wanted to tell us.”
While waiting for him to continue your eyes flick towards Steve whose features seem to paint more than just worry along his face. He knows something but he hasn’t been able to tell you or Eddie yet. Sliding another picture your way, your eyes widen as you gasp.
“He was murdered sometime last night.”
A commotion suddenly erupts outside with officers shouting for backup. The door to your room flies open as the gangster quickly slides to your side and grabs your hand.
“Listen to me, Y/N. Don’t listen to a thing they say, alright? I didn’t kill him. I swear on my mother, sweetheart. I’d never hurt you like that!” As Eddie’s pleas tumble out, policemen tackle him and force the cuffs onto him again as they begin to drag him back out into the lobby. “I didn’t kill him, Y/N! Please! Believe me! I didn’t do this!”
Glancing towards Steve again, you notice he’s wearing that sarcastic smirk you had seen many times but it didn’t match the frightened look that reflected back in his own eyes. It was taking everything in him to be calm and appear unphased as his world fell apart.
“Don’t tell me you really think he killed Gabe? Edward Munson isn’t capable of murder.”, you growled. “Plus, we were together last night.”
“Doing what?”
“Take a guess.”, you spit.
“Control your tone, little girl.”, Steve sasses making the other officer roll his eyes.
“Harrington, calm down. Miss—Dr. Y/L/N—we’re still doing an autopsy to find out when Mr. Wiley was murdered but at this time we have to ask, you don’t think he’d kill him out of jealousy? I mean this is your ex threatening to expose him. Of course, he’d—”
“Of course…because he comes from a crime ridden family my boyfriend would HAVE to have it in him to hurt someone like that, right? Eddie isn’t like his father. Plus, something like this doesn’t reflect a crime of passion.”
“What do you mean?”
Again, your eyes shift towards Steve who now genuinely seems to be interested in your theory.
“Gabe was shot in the head from what I see here. It’s too clean…as if someone wanted to just do this job quick and get it over with. If this WAS jealousy there would be more signs of trauma or he would have used a weapon more personal like a knife.”
“So, who else would want Mr. Wiley dead then?”
“You said he was going to sell out Eddie and you believe Eddie took over his father’s empire…” Steve stands up straighter at your implicated as the detective seems more confused making you huff. “Jesus and you’re a detective? It has to be someone who was trying to protect Allen.”
“Someone in his gang you think?”
“Well…only officers knew Gabe was going to make a statement right?”
Hopper’s eyes darken as he glares in your equally angry irises.
“That’s a big leap you’re making, Y/N.”
“Is it, Jim?”, you ask sarcastically squaring your shoulders. “I want Eddie out of here now.”
“Once we can confirm your alibi for him with the time of death and we finish searching his building he’s all yours. You may leave now.”
Gathering your things, you fume as you stomp out of the interrogation room and head for your car. Purposely leaving something behind, you wait in your vehicle until Steve finally runs out with your phone in his hand.
“You did so fucking good, honey. Are you ok? I’m sorry. They just told me about Gabe before we walked into the room.”
“I know. I know. I trust you. We need to get Eddie out of there, Steve. He’s not safe.”
“I’m doing everything I can to hurry these results. Thankfully, he was able to get a message to Jeff and the guys were able to hide all the supplies so they haven’t found anything nor will they.”
“Do you have any idea who would kill Gabe to silence him?”
“No and I feel like a fucking idiot for not thinking of that. I can’t be the only dirty cop right?”
“Sweetheart, you protect him and me, not every criminal in Hawkins.”, you try to sooth as you lightly touch his hand that was resting on your car.
“I’m going to focus on getting him out. Go back to your apartment and hopefully the next time I see you…he’ll be with me.”
##############
18 hours.
18 long arduous hours past and you still hadn’t heard anything. You called into work siting illness and left one of your nurses in charge. You barely sat down for a moment, refusing to sleep as you paced.
When someone knocked on your door, you didn’t even hesitate as you ran to open it.
“Oh. Hi. Um, can I help you?”, you asked to the stranger in front of you.
“Yes, are you Y/N? Steve said I should wait here.”
“May I ask who you are?”
“I’m Wayne, Eddie’s uncle.”, he announced as he walked past you and took a seat on your sofa. “Fucking Allen. I tried to go to the police station to raise hell but they wouldn’t let my nephew go. I went to the prison to try and talk to him but his father spoke to me instead. Said that Eddie was ‘indisposed’.” At his words, your eyes widened in fear as you ran towards your phone. “Steve said the results came in so he’s bringing him here soon.”
“O-Ok.”, you stutter as you sit beside him before immediately rising to your feet again. “W-Would you like anything? Any coffee or?”
“No, sweetheart, I’m fine. Thank you. It’s nice to finally meet you. He talks about you and Steve all the time. He calls you two his Paladin and his Princess.”, he chuckles making you smile. “I’m glad he’s happy. After everything that boy has been through he deserves it.”
Your front door abruptly opens with Jeff and Steve carrying an unconscious Eddie over each of their shoulders with Gareth trailing behind. Your doctor mode promptly kicked in as they placed him on your bed and you checked him over.
“He passed out in the car. I’m surprised he was able to even fucking walk out of the station.”, the officer relayed with a shake in his tone. “I don’t know what they did to him but…”
“I imagine it was Allen. If your theory about an officer is correct, that same officer could have told him that he hadn’t followed through with killing the ex. This would be punishment.”, Wayne responded as he watched you work.
“It’s Eddie’s gang. He can do what he wants.”, Garth growled.
“Not to Allen, son.”
“Eddie, baby. Can you open your eyes and look at me?”, you asked in a stern but comforting voice as you caressed his cheek. He was littered in bruises especially along his stomach and face. His eye was beginning to swell and his nose had dried blood underneath it staining his skin. What killed you the most where what looked like cigarette burns on his arms. “Jeff, in my kitchen under the cabinet I have a first aid kit with some burn cream and bandages meant for burns. Can you bring that to me?”
“Yes, ma’am.”
“I brought this from my apartment. I didn’t know if…” Steve hands you the medicine you prescribed him for his own bruises making you smile up at him as you kiss his hand.
“I don’t think anything’s broken but—”
“Can you boys go back to his building and assess what the police did? If anything is out of place or missing let Steve or myself know. Please be careful. If this is a cops doing…” Both men nod as they run off to do what Wayne commanded. Pulling the officer aside, they whisper to each other as you focus. “What did you find out?”
“Gabe reached out to the station from a hotel outside of town. One officer answered and two others went to pick him up. They were the ones who reported his body. Eddie’s guy dropped him off at 1am, he texted her at 3am… his time of death was estimated between 3 and 3:30.” As he said his last sentence, Steve’s eyes locked with your own.
You ex most likely texted you believing that someone was there to protect him before being murdered. You were the last person to hear from him. At the time they knew you wouldn’t but Eddie had offered to drive you to where he was. If for some reason you said you wanted to be with Gabe instead of them, you would most likely be dead to.
“I’m so sorry, honey.”
You nod as you turn away and place an ice pack on the gangsters abs.
“I’m going to do some research on those cops. When did they report the ex’s body?”
“Around 5. They left the station around 4.”
“Ok…I’ll still do a check but…I’ll be back. Keep me updated, Steven.”
The officer nodded after him as Wayne left the apartment and grabbed one of your dining room chairs so he could sit near you both but not be in the way.
“What does he do; Eddie’s uncle?”, you mumble.
“He used to be a manager at one of the plants over here. Did that till Ed graduated. After, he got into private eye work helping families reconnect and shit like that. He’s actually really good at it.”, he smirks as his sad eyes watch you finish taping his partner’s arm. “Is he gonna be ok?”
“I think so. It seems like his dad…wanted to torture him…more than kill him.” As you begin to sob, Steve collects you in his arms and places you on his lap. “I don’t understand how a parent could do something like this.”
“Because Allen isn’t a parent; never fucking was. The Munson’s in those early years were extremely ruthless and vindictive. He killed for pleasure and ran his side of town like a fucking dictator. He was the same way with Eddie. From what he told me anyway. Abandoning him with Wayne was the best thing that asshole ever did for him.”
While Steve passed out beside him holding the gangster’s hand, you stayed awake constantly checking on his progress and making sure he was still breathing. Not being able to keep your eyes open any longer, you fell asleep in the chair beside him with your head against the mattress.
***
Waking up with a start, you gasped before calming yourself when you realized everything was alright, it had just begun to lightly rain outside. Steve was gone but left a note by your hand saying he left to go meet Wayne and get some more details but he’d be back in a few hours.
After quickly checking over Eddie, you headed down your hall towards your kitchen to get some water but as soon as you crossed the threshold of the hallway something hard collided with your face. Falling to the floor, you try to collect yourself but whoever hit you was faster, pinning you to the ground and wrapping their hands around your neck.
You tried to scream but you couldn’t breathe as you slowly began losing air. The world around you began to go dark and you knew soon you’d be gone.
The person above you abruptly howled in pain, falling to his side as you rolled over and coughed trying to collect as much oxygen as you could. You heard the struggle behind you before silence suddenly fell over the room. When a bloody hand touched your hip, you begin to limply fight back.
“It’s me. It’s me, sweetheart. It’s me. Are you ok?”, Eddie asked as crawled closer to you.
A broken cry escaped you as you circled your arms around his neck and he clung you tightly to his chest. The door to your apartment quietly opened but as the officer came around the corner he was anything but.
“Jesus Christ! What the fuck happened? Are you two alright?!”, Steve asked as he skidded to his knees and Wayne turned on the lights.
When he tried to touch you to check on you, you didn’t even look his way as you held on to the gangster tighter and buried your face in the nook of his neck. Eddie could feel your hands and body still shaking and it killed him.
“It looks like we were right, Steven.”, Eddie’s uncle sighs as he pulls his nephew’s knife out of the other officer’s back. “Officer Douglas…I guess he came here to finish Gabe’s job. He’s still alive. Was there anything else you wanted to get out of him or can we do this quickly and cleanly?”
“Leave him there.”, Eddie answered for him flatly as he placed his palm against the back of your head, petting your hair tenderly.”
“Edward, this is a cop. Are you sure you want to—”
“LEAVE HIM THERE!” Steve jumped at his loud growl, never hearing this particular tone before from the man he loved.
Giving him a final nod, Wayne patted the other man’s shoulder comfortingly before heading out the door and leaving you three alone. Unsure of what to do next, Steve kicked into the only other gear he knew, grabbing another one of your chairs from the dining room and dragging the knocked-out officer to it before tying his hands behind his back.
“Look at me, baby. Let me see you.”, Eddie cooed as his hands cupped your face and tilted your head back. You had a cut above your eye that was beginning to swell and purple bruises were starting to form around your neck from where the man had choked you. “Do you think can stand so we can sit on the couch?”, he whispered.
Without waiting for an answer, Steve bent down and lifted you into his arms, placing you on the sofa before coming back to take Eddie’s hand and guiding him to sit beside you. You both listened as he headed towards your room and came back with the first aid materials he saw you use on his partner.
While you watched the officer fumble with getting everything together, the gangster kept his eyes you, taking note of your silent but seemingly calm demeanor. Sitting on your coffee table, Steve cleaned your wound carefully trying not to cause you anymore pain. As he started tearing open the bandage, you reached out to stop him, lightly tapping his hand and pointing towards the gauze squares.
When he finishes his task, he glances over at Eddie, silently asking if he needs any first aid but the man shakes his head.
“I’ll keep an eye on him. You two go lay down.”
After rising to your feet, you took the gangster’s hand and slung his arm behind your neck as you guided him back your bedroom. As you curled up in his side, his fingers absently played with your hair as he glared up at the ceiling. Not being able to control it, you began to cry again as he held you tighter to his body.
“Whenever my dad would scream and yell at men in our house, my mom used to hold me by her side just like this. After she died, he started screaming at me. I could never do anything right and he accused me constantly of being weak like her.”
You didn’t move or acknowledge you were listening but he knew you were, turning his head till his check rested on your forehead.
“That last year was the worst… he needed to get through to me, he said. He hired some of his goons to jump me when I was walking home from school to beat the shit out of me. When I was 12, Wayne said he wouldn’t tolerate this anymore. ‘Give me Eddie and I’ll take care of him.’ My dad dropped me off three hours later… I told myself when I took over that I would never treat any of my men the way he treated me and I don’t. He still has people though that are loyal to the ‘original true Munson’. They helped him carry out this particular punishment.”
As he murmured his last couple of words, you pushed up on your elbow to look at his face and his sad, heavy eyes met yours.
“I think it’s my turn to punish Allen… starting with that fucker out there…”
There was a darkness that clouded his eyes then. Something you had never seen before, rattling you slightly as you blinked and laid your head back down against his chest.
###############
That morning when you woke up, you were alone but you could hear their voices as they spoke in your living room.
“How many more cops work for Allen?”, Steve asked angerly to the man tied to the chair.
“You know, Harrington, I never would have taken you for dirty. You could have been making way more money if you picked the right Munson.”
Ringed fingers grabbed the other officer’s throat violently as Eddie pressed his nose to his own.
“You attacked and almost killed someone important to us. No matter what you aren’t going to leave this building alive but you’re the one that gets to choose if it’s quick or a slow, agonizing, painful death. Be lucky you’re getting the fucking option.”, he spat he let the man go and punched him hard in the stomach.
“What does it…matter…freak?”, Officer Douglas coughed. “Your father has allies everywhere. That bitch was marked for death and it will happen. Wait until he finds out you’re fucking a cop to. He’ll probably follow through with finally killing your ass!”
“Did you kill Gabe?”, you asked as all heads shift your way.
“Fuck you.”, he cursed causing Steve to punch his face, spraying blood on the floor.
“She asked you something. Fucking answer.”
The other man chuckled as he threw his head back to glare your way.
“Yeah, I killed him. I’d like to tell you he went out like a man but little shit cried begging, fucking BEGGING, for us to spare you. ‘Please! Please! She’s a good woman! Leave her be! Wa-wa.’”
You have no idea what came over you but you flew towards him, swiftly taking Eddie’s knife in your hand, and pointing it at the man’s throat.
“You won’t do it, little girl.”
“Oh yeah? You killed someone I cared about, tried to kill me, and then you and your little fake gang of nostalgic assholes hurt one of the men I love. Why shouldn’t I?”
“Because you’re weak. Just. Like. Them.”, he grumbled sassily.
Who you were and you were becoming began fighting within your brain as the knife began to quiver in your grasp. You wanted nothing more than to hurt this man like he had you but you were scared. A steady breath warmed the back of your neck as Eddie’s palm slid down your arm and he wrapped his own hand around yours holding the weapon.
“Don’t think about it. If you think about it, you’ll talk yourself out of it.”, he whispered.
“Eddie—”
“Shut the fuck up Steve.”, the gangster growled as his other arm wrapped around your stomach and pressed your back against him. “You can do it, pretty girl. You aren’t weak are you?”
“No.”
“Louder.”
“No, sir. I’m NOT weak.”
“Then do it, princess. Do you think he was going to show you any mercy when he had his hands around your throat? No. He was going to fucking kill you. Return the favor.”
Before you could do anything, a loud bang from Steve’s gun filled your ears as they began to ring and Eddie lightly pushed you away from him, taking his knife from your grasp.
“I know you’re hurting and these last few days have been rough but that does not give you license to play with her like that.”, Steve sneered in anger towards his partner. “If she wants to kill someone, that’s up to her. If she wanted to kill him, I would have let her but what you just did…trying to force her…”
“I wasn’t forcing her. I was encouraging.”
“Bullshit.”
“She needs to become stronger for what’s in store, Steven. More people are going to come after her until it gets through to Allen that I’M in charge. I know the line has been blurred because of our relationship but let me remind me of something, babe. I’m the gangster and I run a business. Jason was smart enough to back away but my father isn’t and it’s my turn to teach him a lesson. ANYONE who is loyal to that man will be put down. I’m done playing nice guy.”
“Edward Munson—”
“What, Steven Harrington? Are you going to throw me in jail and turn yourself in? Yeah, now we know what your police force does with people like that so give it a go.” The officer cocks his gun again and points the barrel towards his boyfriend’s head. “What are you going to do, sweetheart, huh? You’re gonna kill me?”
Tears stung Steve’s eyes as his hand began to shake.
“Please, honey, don’t do this. If you do, I’m going to lose you anyway because Allen will kill you.”
Standing up straighter, Eddie, pressed his forehead further into the weapon as if to challenge him.
“So be it.”
Another gun cocking echoed through the apartment as you held it up towards the officer in front of you.
“Drop it, Steve.”
“I can’t do that, Y/N.”
“Now, Steven, or I swear to God…”
Feeling defeated, the officer lowered his weapon and tucked it back into his holster as you turned your own on the gangster himself.
“I understand why you feel like you need to this and I’m not going to try to stop you but you need to heal and you need to be smart about this.”
“I don’t need to be anything, little girl. I already told you that neither of you have a say in what I do and this will not stand.”
Growling low in your throat, you place the gun on the counter.
“And I already told you that I’m involved whether you like it or not. Someone just tried to kill me again but this time they almost succeeded. Now, you will get back in bed and rest while Steve cleans up the mess here. Do I make myself clear, little boy?”
Steve’s eyebrow quirks as Eddie’s eyes darken further.
“The fuck did you just say to me?”
“You heard me.” Matching his stance, your chest comes level with his as your glare up at him. “Don’t make me repeat myself.”
###############
@5tud10-54r4h @munsonzgf @eddiesguitarskills @supraveng
@lilaclazer @ima1986 @micheledawn1975 @foreverminliv @corkadymu
@lemme-slytherin-that-dick @joannamuns9n @dashingdeb16 @sashaphantomhive @corrodedcoffincumslut @aactuaaltraash @nailbatanddungeon
#steddie#steddie smut#steddie fanfiction#steddie fic#eddie munson#steve harrington#stranger things#joe keery#joseph quinn#fan fiction#eddie munson smut#eddie fanfic#eddie munson fluff#steve harrington smut#steve harrington stranger things#steve harrington fanfic#stranger things fanfiction#mafia!eddie munson#officer!Steve harrington#steddie x reader#steddie x you#steddie x y/n#eddie munson stranger things#steddie angst
88 notes
·
View notes
Note
Hi, could you please write a little something about george looking after his girlfriend while she's ill? Xx
i am such a sucker for soft boyfriend looking after ill girlfriend :')
whatever he had planned, it was dropped.
except he never told her that he cancelled his work schedule or any of his upcoming video shoots that he was due to film because he knows her like the back of his hand. he knew, deep down, how much she was going hate being the reason that he stopped working just to take care of her when, really, she could do it herself.
'i need to cancel our dinner date with max and andrew tonight, not well at all. don't come and see me as i'm just gonna sleep all day and look like a mess. love you. <33'
george cancels on her behalf. informing max that they could move the date to another night and that he wasn't sure what was wrong with her but that it must have been something terribly bad if she was cancelling plans and had added on that she didn't want to see her boyfriend in the state she was in.
except, george doesn't always listen.
and its time like when she was sick where he was thankful he had a key to her flat amongst the keys on his keyring. arriving at her door with an abundance of bags filled with tablets and medicines, dry crackers and packs of biscuits, and whatever trinkets he could grab from the tiny supermarket shop at the entrance of her flat complex so he was prepared for any kind of sickness.
"i know you asked not to see me but i wasn't doing anything today in regards to work and i couldn't leave you here by yourself," his voice fills the quiet space of her home and he waits for her to make herself known before he unpacks the bags for her, "babe?"
when she doesn't appear after a couple of minutes, he feels guilt low in his stomach - he forgot she may have been trying to sleep off whatever had struck her and he was suddenly more aware of how loud he had been upon his entrance. he toes off his trainers and sets them beside her front door, sets the keys down quietly on the side table and leaves the bags in her kitchen before he goes on a look for her around her home.
she wasn't on the sofa; her living room hadn't seemed to be touched and her tv remotes were left where she would normally leave them the previous night, the blanket was still draped over the back of the sofa and there was no dip in the cushions to signify that someone had been sat there recently.
she wasn't in her office; he wasn't expecting her to be working, at all, but it was a much cooler room in her home since it was facing away from the sunshine and she had a fairly comfortable sofa to lounge on.
she wasn't in her bedroom; except he could tell she had taken refuge there for the majority of the day because her sheets were still messy and ruffled and her pillows looked laid upon, a glass of water on her bedside table and a mop bucket down by her side of the bed which she must have kept there in case she couldn't make it from the bed.
his next guess was her en-suite and as he poked his head around the doorframe, he was met with her eyes closed and leaning against the side of the bathtub with a sheen of sweat clinging to her skin. his t-shirt, which he had given to her when she first stayed the night at his place, loose on her figure and it swallowed her up and he just wanted to scoop her up and put her to bed so she was more comfortable.
"i know you're looking at me," she grumbles lowly, cracking an eye open and staring at him through one eye, "i said not to come over. i don't know if this is a contagious thing or not."
"i'll be fine," he waves his hand in her direction as if he was brushing off the comment and he steps into the room, reaching over to flush the toilet from the contents inside, "how long have you been here for?"
she shrugs before taking a deep inhale, exhaling slowly, and she stretches out her legs to rid the pins and needles feeling tingling at her toes. she feels george sit down beside her and she can't help but lean towards the body heat radiating off his body, his arm sneaking around her shoulder and pulling her into his side.
"just feeling sick?"
"just feeling a bit icky. woke up feeling weird, breakfast didn't stay too long in my belly, can't really keep anything down."
"maybe it's a viral thing?" george wonders and he reaches for a wet flannel to dab across her forehead and to clear her face a little, "chris went down with something a couple of weeks ago, seen a lot of stuff saying people are going down with a sickness bug."
"just my luck to get it."
george laughs softly and sets the flannel down on the side of the tub, removing his arm from her shoulder and standing to his feet, holding his hands out for her to take and pulling her slowly to her feet. letting her get some stability before he lead her back to the bedroom so she could get comfortable in bed.
"i brought some crackers and biscuits if you're hungry and want to try and eat something," george suggested and she shook her head, settling herself down in bed and pulling the duvet over her body, "i'll leave them in the kitchen for you, okay? they're there if you want them."
"thank you," she smiles softly and he climbs onto the bed, careful not to jostle her too much, laying down beside her and cosying under the covers, "love you."
"i would kiss you but," he looks her and she rolls her eyes, "i love you too. get some sleep. i'll be here when you wake up." xx
#george clarkey#george clarkey imagines#george clarkey blurbs#george clarkey fics#george clarkey headcannons#george clarke#george clarke imagines#george clarke headcannons#george clarke blurbs#george clarke fics
54 notes
·
View notes
Text
Of course the things she says are never what she means them to be, even when she’s paced a tread in the shape of the exact words she ought to say, and so what she says instead is, so sharply vehement it startles herself, “You are a problem.”
Kharish blinks, mouth agape, with her great wide eyes—blue as anything, and Colette thinks with increasing despair how very much she has come to like blue, of late—and says, “Oh. That’s, ah. I’m… sorry?”
“I don’t mean—will you sit down,” she says, not in any sort of tone resembling a question, and laces her hands in front of herself to stop pulling at the loose thread on her sleeve, rigid.
“Is everything—”
“Sit.”
She sits.
“I’m doing this all wrong,” Colette begins, “so—just—know, that I know it, and don’t do—the thing, with your face, that you’re going to do.”
Some terrible slow amusement rising in the illuminated sun of her face. “A thing?”
“Yes—that one, that thing!” She points, exasperated, as Kharish puts both hands over the lower half of her mirth-reddened face. “I haven’t said anything yet!”
“You’ve said a few things,” she protests, “and I don’t know what it is I’m not supposed to be doing—”
It is exactly three strides to the chair, to collide, inelegant, with her knees (of course her legs are too damned long for the chair) (she is not thinking about—). Colette allows half a step backwards again to account for her knees. “Please. I am going to make a fool of myself, either way, I’m sure, but tell me anyway—what, or why, or…”
Kharish, lowering her hands to her lap with the kind of careful deliberate slowness of one afraid of making too sudden a move—which is perhaps fair; she is not doing an especially fine job of appearing any less on edge than she feels, and none of the things she is saying are the things she was going to say when she made up her mind to—but she looks at her, really looks, in her way. “I like your laugh,” she says, soft. “I can be a fool twice over, if you like. If it would help.”
There is nothing in the ribcage that should feel so tight and sweetly aching. And yet. And yet. “You do that regardless.”
She crooks a silly little grin. “And sometimes you laugh.” A tilt of her head. Colette has the sudden irrational impulse to take a thumb to that permanent crease between her brows. “…does that answer, or should I—?”
Yes, but now. She skates her fingertips over the lines aside her eyes, draws her thumb along the corner of her mouth, struck half-blind by the heady rush of awareness of her: every singing nerve, every erratic jolt of her pulse, every taut effortful line of tension as she freezes herself whisper-still. Hopelessly bright. Like the sun itself is sat in her chair, looking at her with—with—
“You don’t have to,” Kharish says, her voice low and strained and gentle, careful, “if it’s—if I’m… if you’d rather not. I won’t say anything; I won’t be—you won’t hurt me.”
“No,” she agrees, “I won’t.” It is not a matter, at this point, of if, but of following through. Momentum. Colette, the knuckles of her other hand white on the back of the chair, tells her, “You talk entirely too much, did you know,” which softens her whole face—under her fingertips, she knows precisely which muscles follow suit and when (sternocleidomastoid, trapezius, levator scapulae—), and, quick and decisive, she kisses the curve of her smile.
She hasn’t done this in—long enough. She can admit it is not a particularly skillful kiss, from her end, and there is the matter of working around her tusks, and she can’t bring herself to take her hand from the flat of her jaw, too alight and dizzy at the electric map of nerves under her skin, blooming, blooming—
Impossible to say how long it is before she breaks, jerking back, fingertips pressed to her own burning mouth as she inhales like she’s forgotten how. “You understand,” she hears herself croak, awful, “you understand I don’t—I haven’t—” She clears her throat. Marginally better. “Alright. Thank you. That was—not terrible.”
Which is yet again not what she ought to have said, or meant to say, but Kharish only lets out a high breathless giggle and says, giddy, “Oh, let me try again then; I can do much better than ‘not terrible’.” And then horror dawning as she lurches forward, to her feet, catching fistfuls of Colette’s robes at her hips to stop from falling into her, and she stutters, “I mean—not to presume it—if you—I—thank you, I thought it was very nice—”
Colette stares. And then she puts her hands on her shoulders to sit her down again, and she laughs—she laughs—she laughs—
24 notes
·
View notes
Text
the moment i started shipping kabumisu (spoilers ahead for chapters 45-62)
okay. this is gonna be a long one.
you'd think i'd be reasonable and start shipping these two characters from the moment they spend time alone in the dungeon, right? wrong. like the unreasonable guy i am, i saw them both placed a certain way and my brain went "shipped." let me explain.
chapter 45. this is the first time they interact. i wasn't thinking much at this point, but i just wanted to point out this frame because it looks damn cool (and i wanna maybe trace it on paper)
chapter 54
mithrun notices kabru has skill for the first time. at this point i didn't think much more than "oh he's looking at him."
kabru notices mithrun (or maybe he's just shocked about the water; i decided nonetheless to add this.) not much to report yet either on my personal feelings at this point.
and then this happens.
first off i was thinking about kabru saving others without thinking but that's another subject. then i saw mithrun was LEANING BACK on kabru whilst between his legs and the gentle way he held his wrist for support i was like huh??! am i supposed to be getting homoerotic subtext from this? i was... intrigued. a little ship bell went off in my head, but there was no ripeness to it yet. not ready to be plucked.
like look at this in closeup please
then can we get this whole ass frame. where we clearly see how close they are physically. from that point on i thought "lol if this goes on i might crackship them haha blush"
i mean their body position makes them look like they could be on a casual date
(hands on thighs hands on thighs hands-)
and then THIS
pat pat head yes good boy smart boy i see how you have excellent perception skills, let us work together to fight this monster do what i say now
also just situationally i was kinda awed because not a moment ago they were kinda distrustful on edge but here immediately mithrun makes a plan involving kabru (no, not the other elves, but kabru) to take down the monster together & puts trust in him & idk i think two characters fighting together always feels intimate to me in a way (not necessarily romantic or anything); like characters are familiar with each other
"pat"
chapter 55
nothing special but i like the way they look at each other here even if there is no romantic or erotic tension or anything. maybe i just like the art of this.
i mean i know they're on a pillar but look at how close they are
just look at the way mithrun is being held and tell me that if taken out of context these images don't scream homoeroticism. and yes, this is the moment i decided to ship them.
(again, taken out of context) mithrun looks like the husband silently threatening whoever kabru is arguing with
and now this. this. look at this beautiful piece of art. look at how falin holds sissel(thistle). there is tenderness in that grip; protection.
then above them you see kabru's self-protection in holding mithrun hostage yet the picture as a whole immediately made me think of "the lovers" archetype. duality. being held. idk. but seeing this was powerful.
mithrun tries to free himself from kabru's grip, the way he is held is constricing. yet if you changed the way you look at it, it could be perceived as holding on to a lover for dear life as you both tumble to your death.
is that what the mangaka intended?? i am not one to usually read much into symbolism or stuff if i'm just casually reading - and i certainly don't know anything about art or literary symbolism - but all these thoughts immediately sprung out to me. these panels made me feel something so intense. (exquisite art, really!!)
so this is how i started shipping kabumisu.
once i got to chapter 61 and realised "oh DAMN they will actually be spending one-on-one time together?" i was pleasantly surprised and knew i would not be alone in shipping them.
that is all :3 thank you for reading if you got this far!
#kabumisu#dunmeshi spoilers#dungeon meshi spoilers#dunmeshi#sprt.tag#meta#i guess#but also just ramblings haha#imagine how loud my ship bells were ringing once kabru was all 'no dear you need to take care of your body let me just remind you to go to#the bathroom and to sleep and all that'#mithrun
36 notes
·
View notes
Note
hello!! i hope you're doing good at this moment :>
i saw that your requests were open and i wish to make one (if it's too uncomfy or not something that you want to write that's totally fine ^^). i was wondering if i could request a hurt/comfort or just comfort fic with fem!reader that struggles with eating disorders (ana and bulimia) ft. bllk characters oliver, tokimitsu and yukimiya (+ any other ones if you want to)? maybe something like them comforting her after a bad episode or talking with her about it in a general way. i hope that's not too vague or too specific, and again!! totally cool if you don't like the idea of this request!!
byebye ^-^
summary/ask: their s/o struggles with anorexia and/or bulimia (angst and comfort!)
content warnings | eating disorders so heavy themes ahead!, fem! reader , bad eating habits and mental health, bad relationship w food, vomiting, physical comfort and emotional support from them, shorter than i intended to be + more?…
a/n - i have done my research on bulimia and anorexia before and i have couple of friends who suffer from them so i will try to write it good, keep in mind that i am chubby person so myb some parts in this aren’t as good as others (plus i barely write for Tokimutsu too so) :( please take care of yourself anon, i am here for you <3 sorry if it is too short :((
YUKIMIYA
My yuki :( He’s a sweetest one of them all. When you opened to him about it in yours relationship he felt honored, really. His gentle hands taking your shaking hands in his, kissing your knuckles and tip of fingers as he’s even gentler eyes looked at you so softly, his voice barely higher than a whisper.
“my lovely, thank you for having enough trust to share something like this. i am here for you, in both for better and for worse times. don’t forget that. ever.”
His body making you finally relax after a long time, your head on his chest as his chest. His lips kissing the crown of your head as one of his hands rubbed your shoulder and another one your hand that rested on other side of his chest, your legs tangled up as the peaceful slumber creeped on both of you.
TOKIMITSU
My boy is not entirely sure what to do or react when you said that you suffer from an eating disorder. He panicked at the first, he loved you dearly and didn’t want to do anything wrong or hurt you at any point, so he took a deep breath. Relaxing his stiffened shoulders from his overwhelming anxiety and took you into his hands. His warm yet gentle gigantic body immediately relaxing your body, his hands rubbing your arms softly as he whisper sweet nothings against your lips after a harsh period for you, he’s staying here for you and you will never be alone in hard times and he’s always going to be your number one supporter :)
OLIVER
He might not like it, but he cares deeply in his own teasing ways. He WILL pull you into his lap and pout like a little baby when you can sense a nasty self harming episode approaching, whining your ears out while those dumb puppy look from his eyes stared at your face closely.
“i wont let go till you tell me what’s wrong. i know when something is wrong but i for sure can’t read your mind, so pretty please”
So when you finally craved and said how you feel helplessness, fearful and just unhappy he kisses out those tears that feel from your eyes down your cheeks and kisses your lips next and just maybe shows how much he adored your body in more than one way later ;)
+ BAROU
You cursed yourself for having unexpected episode of binge eating late last night, having an urge to eat leftovers from dinner late at 3 am and now late morning, your weak arm holding onto toilet bowl as other hold onto your hair, trying not to get it in your tired face that was almost covered in your own tears, vomit and drool. As you get that feeling in your stomach, you felt unexpected touch, he saw you. Your boyfriend Barou wake up and found you in a so called “unsightly” position and situation. Your overthinking was cut short when your body reflexively went back to vomiting but this time, Barou’s hands put your hair in a quick ponytail and with one hand he wrapped around your waist and pressed you close to his core, your body finally getting warmer from long time kneeling on cold marble, his deep and warm voice ringing in your ear as he rubbed your back comfortably.
“It’s okay…it’s okay, i an here now…shhhh..”
When he make sure you are finished with vomiting he picked up your face with his strong hands, cradling you in his lap as he kissed your forehead, then connecting your forehead together as both pairs of eyes closed, he whispered.
“We are going through this together, okay? Don’t think you will be ever be left alone again when i am here for you in everything.”
#bambi’s ✍️#blue lock#blue lock fluff#blue lock x reader#blue lock x y/n#blue lock x you#bllk#bllk x reader#bllk x y/n#bllk x you#blue lock imagines#yukimiya kenyu#yukimiya x reader#oliver aiku#aiku oliver x reader#barou shouei#barou x reader#tokimitsu aoshi#tokimitsu x reader#tw eating disorders#tw bul1m14#tw anorexia
39 notes
·
View notes
Text
Very veeeeeery remotely linked to Day 2’s prompt (blink and you’ll miss it) but here is a bit of a sequel to Inebriated Fishtank… in which they have not entirely ceased to be under the influence…
💛💚💛💚💛💚💛💚💛💚💛💚💛💚💛💚
An enthusiastic steel drum version of ‘Under the Sea’ blared out and Scott slammed his hand on to the comm, eyes still screwed shut… if he didn’t open them he wasn’t awake. And it could have been a butt-call…
He’d never prayed so hard for it to be a butt-call.
“Hey heeeeeeeey Scooooty-McNoodle!!!”
Scott pried an eye open to glare in the general direction of heaven…
“Hello Gordon. Which police station?”
“I am OFFENDEDED ancient brosicle! How could you pres… presufimicate such a thing?”
“You don’t need bail? Then why are you calling me? Go to bed you drunken fool.”
“Ah yea about that… “
‘What about it? Just sleep it off.”
“So… funny story! My fuzzy wuzzy beary pops actually did the whole arrangementing of beds thing.”
Wait.
Scott’s brain clicked up a gear from basic muscle memory to something resembling cognition.
“Gordon where is Virgil?!”
“He’s here!”
“Can I speak to him?”
“Um… noooooooooo”
There were several voices worth of giggling, none of which sounded like Virgil.
“Who’s with you? Where is Virgil?”
“Oh how rude of me over here we got…” There was a clatter and his brother’s voice faded out amongst some more distant giggling before Gordon returned, piercingly loudly:
“Stooopid floor. Anyways here we got Florrie, Alice and Alexi, say hi to Scooter ladies, he’s my biggest olderist bro and he’s even sexier than me and old dribbles here.”
A chorus of “Hi Scooter”
“Gordon! What’s wrong with Virgil?”
“You gotta say hi!”
“Gordon!!”
“You’re being rude! Say hi to the ladies!”
“Hi ladies” Scott muttered.
“NICELY!”
Scott knew an immovable squid wall when he heard it. Fine. He turned up the charm, and the volume, to max.
“Hello ladies!”
“Owie! Geez bro.”
“Virgil, Gordon?!”
“Yeah he’s pretty handsome. Still single too! Sure I can give you his number…”
“GORDON!!”
“Heeeeeeeeey bro. Love you bro. Love all the bros. Specially the grumpy turtle one.”
Scott tried another tack
“I love you too squid, but what happened to the grumpy turtle one?”
“Hezzzz a snooooozy liddle turtle.”
“So he’s in bed?”
“Nooo I toldja he’s here. Say hi Virgie.”
Silence.
“Awww he droolin’”
Scott was beginning to join the dots here.
“Gordon, please tell me Virgil wasn’t trying to match you?”
“I can one hunderb percival tell you that.”
“Would it be true?”
A pause and a definite snort in the background.
“Noooooooooooooooo”
Oh no.
If he’d consumed enough to make Gordon tipsy, there was no way Gordon and three women were going to be able to move the bear. He thought Virgil knew better.
Scott got up and put his trousers on. He could get to Brisbane in a few minutes in One…
There was more giggling and a deep bellowing laugh followed by a grunt.
“Omigosh I’m sorry I can help… gimme his arm… oopsy tha’s ‘is leg.”
More rustling noises.
“Oh I am sooooo bad manners! Scotty you gonna say hola to Juan too, he’s helping.”
“Hola Juan. Gordon, where are you? Do I need to come get you?”
“Naaaaw we goddim Scooteywoo”
“Then why are you calling Squid?”
“Need the bed place.”
“I don’t know where he booked Gords! Stay put I’ll come and get you.”
“Nawwwww I wanna take him to the art tom… tom… tomorning. Art ‘n waffles…. I pinky promised the Virg!”
Scott rested his head against the wall and counted to ten.
“What do you need Gordon?”
“T’get in his phone! I dunno his pass-thing! Need to find the resersermmmnn”
Scott did know it There were a million and one reasons why Gordon did not.
But he could either spill the beans now and take the consequences later, or head out to find them just in time for one or both of them to be sick on his shoes. Or in One. He shivered. No option really.
“Gordon you have to promise not to do anything bad with Virgil’s phone.”
“Yeah yeah I’m a good fishy”
“Gordon, pinky promise me.”
There was a tut and Scott could almost hear the eyeroll.
“I can’t reach your pinky to promise!”
“Fine. Pinky promise Juan then.”
Gordon did a stage whisper
“He doesn’ know a huge lodda English Scoobydoo.”
“Ok err” Scott racked his brains “could you put um, Alex was it? On the phone?”
Gordon huffed.
Rustling.
“Well hello there, handsome, this is Alexi.”
Pushing down the desire to bring about Gordon’s imminent demise, Scott had a sudden brainwave and put the charming voice on again. Yes, giving a total stranger access to his brother’s phone was a risk but less of one than allowing Gordon unfettered access without the security of a pinky promise - generally accepted to be the only law he considered himself bound by.
“Alexi listen carefully, I’m going to give you the passcode. Could you use it to find the reservation then lock the phone again please?”
“Sure, honey.” The reply was breathy. Intimidatingly breathy.
“Ok, you ready?”
“I’m all yours”
Shudder.
“Exclamation mark, eight, one, zero, zero, capital D, lower case Y, exclamation mark; capital F, one, five, lower case H, exclamation mark.”
“Ok honey that worked, I’m in. I’ll get your brothers to their hotel. I’ll leave my number on your brother’s phone just in case you need it later, ok?” She was essentially purring now.
“Oh that won’t be…” Scott paused. He needed all the allies he could get here.
He cleared his throat “That would be lovely, thank you for your help Alexi.”
There was a shriek and more unmistakable giggling as Scott hung up with a wry smile before collapsing back on to his bed and closing his eyes. Good luck Juan and co.
Aa he drifted off he considered how it was a shame Virgil would have to change that one tomorrow.
It was so apt.
💚💛💚💛💚💛💚💛💚💛💚💛💚💛💚💛
#thunderbirds are go#thunderbirds#thunderbirds fanfiction#scott tracy#virgil tracy#gordon tracy#fish tank#fishtankweek2024#inebriated tracies#idontknowreallywhy fanfic#day 2: orchestra aquarium art museum#thunderfluff
27 notes
·
View notes
Text
Guys I watched the previews and will now be sharing my thoughts alongside sitty ass screenshots I took, also this probably won't be explained well but when are my posts ever explained well.
Okay first of all, I'm going to be looking at what we're all looking at right now: Murder on the Dancefloor.
Starting with that this is an actual banger song choice and I am pleased that it is coming to the game even if it is under... those implications. I really do hope that they're not going down that path and like idk maybe the song starts out with this. Then young Night Swan realises that she's infinetly hotter than the Traveller and just dips. Or maybe she's just using him for his magic idk.
Looking at scene 2 first. Their dance is like just any other duo dance in the game, you could put any two coaches in it and like it wouldn't mean anything. What they're doing after is intresting to me.
Right here the Traveler is showing young Night Swan a portal. Now based on the fact she looks at it, it might be the first portal she's ever seen for all we know. I imagine that the Traveler did probably teach her how to make portals. I really do hope that they just had a mentor/student relationship where the student turns against the mentor and goes evil. Yk that trope, please ubisoft have it be that.
I would also take a second to look at the portal because the first image is the portal in MotD and the second is a few of the portals in RYB
The colour doesn't seem to matter with the Traveler as his portals are notibly multicoloured (but I will point out that it's the same colour as Night Swans portals) but the big difference is the shape. In RYB the Travelers portals are recktangles and they open through a very streamlined triangle shape. The portal in MotD is circular and irregular, also it opens differently. Which tells me that in MotD the Traveler is also very young and maybe doesn't really have great control of his magic yet. Meaning they might be sztudents under the same master but the Traveler has just learned portals faster. Over all I think this scene is pretty innocent and indicates that they had like a friend(ly) to rival relationship.
However the problem child is the first little scene we get, and I'm not talking about this.
This just seems like a normal handshake to me. Their hands arent glowing, indicating that no baby making is happening (and if there is, dear GOD let it be Cygnus and not Jack). What I want to look at is how the scene starts. Because hello?? Why is this overlooked??
Why are you two waltzing? Now I know that waltz doesn't have to mean it's romantic, and trust I am hoping it doesn't. BUT what. Why? Respectfully fuck off Ubisoft. This better not fucking mean what I think it means. Istg I will come to Paris and throw hands.
Ignoring that, I could be wrong on every account and I'm just going to wait until the maps have officially been released to I can watch them and figure out what is going on. For now we must simply pray that if they do end up together and procreating that the result of that was our beloved steampunk boy and not Jack. Please don't ruin our ship for us Just Dance, for it is all we have.
ANYWAYS, that aside
I am so fucking excited for Darkest Hour. Night Swan looks so good and the map be looking hella cool.
Well, another long one. If you've made it this far, thank you for listening. I would like to take a second to highlight this wonderful comment left on the youtube video as it had me laughing after taking these screenshots
#If I do not post tommorow: assume I have died#another long post boys#just dance#jd#just dance fandom#night swan event#night swan jd#night swan just dance
23 notes
·
View notes
Text
↪ ᵀᴴᴱ 𝑀𝐼𝐶𝐾 , ꮲꭲ 2 . ( a series of sentence starters from season 1 of fox's sitcom , “ the mick ” adjust phrasing as necessary . )
damn , [ name ] , how many cars can one person crash ?
i can't help it — when i'm behind the wheel , i'm a slave to the power of the machine .
other people worked very hard to buy those cars , and now they're mine .
why you gotta put me in a cage ?
i'm not a rat , okay ?
shut up , you don't know what you're talking about .
i am NOT joking , i don't wanna do this .
guys , we don't snitch . that's it , end of story .
will you listen to yourself ?? "jUsT tElL tHe tRuTh"
[ name ] , you snitch you die !
pretty sure that was already there when i walked up .
how is this good news ?
everyone's gonna call me a traitor , like you .
don't worry about it , it was worth it .
what are you doing tomorrow night ?
just say the words , and it can be yours .
oh , it's like that , huh ? fine .
what was that ? i can't hear you ... you can't breathe ?
you better figure something out , 'cause if you don't — i'll have to go public with this .
that's called extortion , stupid !
those guys are just covering their own asses , they don't even like you .
as easily as i can save you in this world , i can destroy you .
if anybody messes with you , let us know - okay ?
with a dong like that , you'd think he'd be happier .
do i look like i'm playing , [ last name ] ?
oh , your breath reeks of booze .
i hope you have a plan .
i was up all night watching prep school movies in preparation .
there are some real evil illuminati-type vibes in here , right ?
there was a time i could see , and i have seen .
oh , i'm just getting warmed up .
we are but food for worms , gentlemen .
whose burrito did i just step in ?
get out of here , the tv's mine .
what did you do to my shirt ??
how would you feel if i ran around stealing your clothes ?
we had to kill him cause he wasn't a team player .
no more special treatment for you .
i grew up in squalor , i am perfectly comfortable in it .
[ name ] , don't you dare !
didn't know you were gonna be so weird about it .
if you decide that you don't want me around , just tell me and i will go .
you're not the only game in town , buddy , okay ?
you don't know who i hang out with .
jealousy is the reason people hate us .
you don't have to worry about labels , just like who you like .
i hope this is some sort of emergency .
you kept me waiting , so i'm gonna get right to it .
don't make this your thing , this is [ name's ] thing .
suing is how rich white people solve their problems .
i wanted to sing and show you there's nothing to be afraid of .
i'm so nervous for you ... i want to throw up and run away .
you could have me escorted out , but you have no security .
ooh , dark scary room ! you know what they call that in prison ? they call that a blind spot . great place to catch a shiv .
what kind of operation are you running here ?
you didn't do anything wrong . i was the problem , not you .
where i'm from , the guest gets the good seat .
i drink , smoke , lie , steal ... i'm drunk right now .
i will ruin him . please don't let me do that .
i'm not the one doing whatever you guys are doing ... what are you doing ?
i'm not judging , at least he's a hot mess .
it's the wolf's job to eat the sheep , so y'know ... this was bound to happen .
i will RUIN you when we get home .
i'll give it back to you in a minute , you're gonna get it back .
the suit you destroyed cost a grand !
come on , [ name ] . i'll help you get settled .
he can't know it was my idea .
she made her mean bed and she can sleep in those scratchy sheets .
woah , tough day at the office ?
what the hell did you just say to me ?
you are right ... no matter what you say about anything .
we do this all the time , but usually there's some art to it .
this is not nearly as fun as i thought it was gonna be .
you're letting a bunch of nerds pick on you with their computers ?
why don't you just systematically destroy her ?
i can see where this is headed , so i'm just gonna hit the road .
she ripped me open , stuffed me full of devastation and then sewed me back up again .
leave me alone , this is all your fault .
why are they yelling ? are they angry cause they're bad musicians ?
i will never understand your generation .
let me have it . how bad is it ?
do you have any idea what i saw in there ?
you should come and check out what's going on outside , cause i think you'll be pleasantly surprised .
i just want us to be friends again .
it would be such a silly waste of time for someone like me to be mad at someone as insignificant as you .
the truth is , i pity you .
when the universe gives you a sign , it's not up to you to ignore it .
[ name ] gave it to me . it means i'm in charge .
i'm not comfortable with the whole arrangement . where's [ name ] ?
this is outrageous ! i'm getting passed over again ?
i don't have a problem , i'm just blowing off some steam .
you wanna get in on this ?
you deserve to take a time out as much as anybody else .
sorry , i didn't realize you were the fun police .
having money has reaaally changed you .
i've lost control ?! oh no , you dumb , dumb idiot . YOU'VE lost control .
that's a gross overreaction .
i will show myself the door in a ... graceful and classy manner .
thanks for sticking around .
look , i realize i did some questionable things in there .
i just felt like the universe was giving me a sign .
i'm the only one worthy of its power !
keep it in your pants and follow my lead .
it's no offense , i just don't know you very well .
let's go over this one more time , just so we're clear .
we've already been over the terms .
what's in it for you ?
i like the element of surprise .
wasn't expecting that . are you okay ?
i saw a burglar , i didn't know what to do ... so i SMOKED his ass !
you SHOT me ! what the hell's the matter with you ?
that gunpowder's like a hundred years old , it probably just broke the skin .
what about the police ? they're expecting a gunshot victim .
guys , we've gotta move this along , okay ?
you got it , i'll get you a pillow .
you're lucky no one was killed .
here's the thing about the bordeaux ... i drank it .
i'm so sorry that you had to keep our mansion warm .
how do you think the police found them ?
if you're done criticizing me , i think i'll head on up to bed .
you want me to do the jobs no one else wants ?
can we pick this up tomorrow ? i was shot , so ... i'm very tired .
it has nothing to do with that . okay ? now please leave .
i wanted to thank you for having my back earlier .
that had nothing to do with you . i was just trying to hurt them .
it's chloroform . i found a recipe online .
[ name ] , don't come at me with that .
i was gonna do whatever it takes . i'm not a quitter.
i wanna tell you , i really do . but first there's something i need .
oh my god , you're bailing again .
innocent people don't sneak in and out of their own home .
'cause i don't like you , that's why .
i'd rather get mowed down in a hellfire of bullets than listen to you screech .
you don't have to lie . i heard you guys .
how was i supposed to know you were gonna hug me ? i didn't even know you knew how to hug .
27 notes
·
View notes
Note
Hello. Okay, so I'm going to start this off with 'this might be an crazy thing to ask'.
I just saw your post from January about Nana Shimura, and I feel like I'm insane.
I'm legitimately not trying to be belligerent here, but can you please explain to me, in your opinion, why you think that it is Nana's fault for anything that has happened in relation to her? I'm just trying to understand, because I don't see how anything could necessarily be her fault solely. Specifically when talking about the 'creation' of Tomura.
If AFO had wanted to get his hands on someone from that bloodline, if only to be a bastard or whether it was for an actual reason, he would have done it regardless of what Nana's choices would have been.
And I can't help but notice the fact that all of this skips an entire generation. Everyone is so quick to blame Nana for doing what humans do, I.E. having a husband and a child, and I feel I'm not really qualified to speak on that front because I never have wanted children and I don't foresee that changing at this ripe old age I'm at, so I'm not even going to go into whether or not I think it was wrong of her to have a family.
I just find it very interesting that people are blaming Nana for something that happened literal years after her own physical death. Things that happened at the hands of her own son. Things that would have never happened had it not been for her son, that she had no part in.
It's just that the way I see it, that man had years upon years to come to terms with what his mother had done in order to protect him, but in the end he failed anyway. Whether he knew it or not he failed more than his own mother did. He failed and he gave his fucking own child over to this horrible person, and he couldn't have been completely ignorant of that, let's be honest. Whether or not what she did was the right choice, Nana gave him up for a reason, and the fact that he couldbut possibly put himself in his mother's shoes, after how many years? Is more telling of him than it is of her.
Even if what Nana did wasn't the right choice, then what WAS the right choice? How was there a wrong or a right choice when you could never possibly predict the outcomes of whatever you chose to do? In my opinion, people are trying to pin everything on Nana when all she was doing was doing the best she could with what she was given, and I think that's unfair and stupid.
I haven't been following you for long, but I've seen your posts for quite a while, so I actually do respect your opinion, which is why I am asking you.
I really don't like the way Horikoshi writes women as a whole in this particular story, and I don't know if that's a track record of his or if this is his only work or whatever, I don't really pay attention to that sort of thing. And that's a whole other post for another time. But I just find it really weird that everyone seems to be coming after Nana while simultaneously defending her son, when her own son is the one who is committing these atrocities long after she is dead?I find it very weird indeed.
Sorry for the long post, I have far too many feelings about MHA.
First of all, sorry for taking so long to answer and thank you for taking the time to write this ask 💜
Nana Shimura is one of my favorite bnha female characters because of how complex and flawed she is!!!
Here's the short answer:
Regardless of the actions of the people around her, Nana Shimura had a responsibility with her son as a mother and with the world as a hero.
We all have to make decisions without knowing the outcomes. That's life. It doesn't absolve us from the consequences of our actions. It also doesn't mean we are evil, but simply human. It is in our nature to make mistakes and make bad decisions sometimes.
It seems extremely harsh to judge a woman for doing her best against an enemy that was so much stronger than her, but that's the whole point of writing a character like Nana. There are no easy answers.
What was the correct thing to do instead of abandoning Kotaro? How could she have won against AFO? How could one (1) woman do both and do it well?
Nana isn't responsible for what Kotaro did so many years after she left him, but she did leave him. She had a son and then left him because she needed to be a hero. We don't know the exact circumstances of how she had Kotaro, but many fans ask why she had him if she knew her hero job would put him at such risk. Or why she chose to be a hero over being his mother.
Logically, we know it was to save the world. It's just that her choice isn't black and white. She caused a lot of pain in doing what she did, even if she contributed to a lot of joy.
AFO defeating her was inevitable. Like her OFA predecessors, they were alone on their journey. See, it took Deku an army to fight AFO and his influence.
There's also the fact that Nana took Toshinori in after she left Kotaro. Of course she only did it because the kid meant to sacrifice himself for the cause just like her, but it doesn't erase the parallel between Toshinori and Kotaro. One got to enjoy her company until she died because he had the right conditions to be her heir while the other lost her forever because she loved him.
Sadly, her love didn't save Kotaro and didn't make All Might's life easier.
Any person with responsibilities is a person with failures. That rings true for every single bnha hero and villain.
The way I see it, people either have a reason to hate her or not.
Some dislike her 'cause she left Kotaro. Some are unreadable in their judgment and hate her just because she is a woman. Some just dislike her general writing or don't enjoy her type of character.
At the end of the day, Nana Shimura is still a tremendous female character. She inspired All Might himself (he who is hailed as the best hero of all times). She faced AFO alone and she died mocking him with a smile. She sacrificed her happiness and all the things dear to her in order to save the world. Nana passed down OFA and kept hope alive in a time full of violence and chaos. She is one of the best female pro-heroes to have existed and the only female OFA user. He was freaking jacked with muscle because her quirk was float.
Her flaws depict her greatness and the weight on her shoulders. Nana Shimura, everyone.
#shan's asks#bnha#mha#my hero academia#boku no hero academia#mha spoilers#bnha spoilers#nana shimura
15 notes
·
View notes
Text
I love Jojo's new totk comic
Because the part of Tulin flying with Link
Is exactly like the pictures I took of them in game
:)
#in the panel and screenshots perspective shift they are beside each other in the same way#my picture is like a shadow on the ground of them in the art#I love tulin little buddy#I took screenshots in game because watching the shadows while flying with him gives me joy#so this part in the comic makes me smile#linkeduniverse#linked universe#totk#totk spoilers#Jojos art#I think that I am doing credit properly#still using the linked universe tag because her other not-directly-Lu totk arts were added to the Lu archive last time I checked#and it's the account and stuff#if I am doing anything wrong please tell me#:D#tulins so cute
122 notes
·
View notes
Text
Chapter 110 is 13 pages long welcome to hell!!! so in a lot of ways this is just more fuel for a theory that I've had for a few weeks now, that's only gotten stronger with each recent season 5 episode, which is that the last episode of the season is gonna end on 110, and that Asagiri/Harukawa and Bones have been collaborating to make this happen, specifically because it's a major turning point that would be the only good place to end the season on.
When we started getting especially long chapters again (like from 25-35ish pages, with the exception of 107.5, the last two being some of the longest we've ever had), at first I just assumed that Asagiri/Harukawa got freed up from some other obligations they'd been having to cause the extremely short/half chapters, like promotional stuff for the anime/Beast movie, or working on light novels. But then 109 happened, with the "supposed" death of Dazai, and heavy emphasis at the end on how literally everyone is at their lowest point right now, and I got to thinking. 11 episodes is a strangely specific number for an anime season -- why not 12, or 13, or even 10, like you'd usually see? Why have we gotten suddenly gotten two 35 page chapters out of nowhere, that's almost unheard of at this point? They're both beautiful chapters, don't get me wrong (as always), and maybe A/H simply just didn't want to cut them in halves because they felt like the full emotional impact wouldn't hit/that there were no good cutoff points in them, but you can't deny that it's surprising, after all the shorter chapters we've been getting. Why has the anime been going at such insanely breakneck pacing for the most part ever since around the Sunday Tragedy chapters, even more so than it has in the past? So much so that it feels dangerously close to overtaking the manga?
Well, maybe, just maybe, it's because..... Asagiri decided a long time ago that whatever happens in 110 is the only point that feels "season finale"-worthy enough, in an arc that still isn't anywhere close to being completely wrapped up, and so both the manga and the anime have been specifically coordinated to reach that part within 2 and a half weeks of each other?
I've seen a lot of people now think season 5 will end with 109, and as much as my sadistic side would find that hilarious, I honestly don't think they'd do that and realistically don't want it to happen; it'd be so cruel to cliffhanger the anime for years like that, and just doesn't feel like a season cliffhanger BSD would do, a series that is ultimately hopeful and uplifting. Seasons 2 and 3 had a positive, conclusive ending; the only reasons seasons 1 and 4 didn't was because they're technically not really full seasons of their own, and are more like the first cour of another "season" that also came out that same year (seasons 1 and 2 both aired in 2016, so they're more like one big season, and seasons 4 and 5 have both aired this year, so they're also more like one big season, again taking into account how episodes 12 and 50 are not satisfying finales like episodes 24, 37, and hypothetically, 61, are). I really can't see season 5 ending with Dazai and Fukuzawa's supposed deaths, Sigma being unconscious and maybe close to death, Atsushi being vulnerable and limbless again, everyone we love still vampires, and the entire world being basically doomed; that's just too depressing and not like BSD at all. However, having said that, if it doesn't end there, there really isn't any good place to end the season before that, either, that feels in any way satisfying or like a finale at all. And so, to me, that only leaves after 109: chapter 110.
I think things are really gonna turn around next chapter. Like I said, everyone is at their lowest point right now, it cannot possibly get any worse, the framing of Dazai, Fukuzawa, and sskk at the end of 109 is telling us that; this is the time for the heroes to finally start winning again, with Aya being so close to pulling out the sword, and for all the thematic reasons other people have talked about to death that I don't need to go into here again. This upcoming chapter being so short again makes a part of me wary of 110 being "the one", so to speak, I won't lie, but at the same time, it's very possible that it needs to be that short because that's all the final episode of the season will be able to reasonably fit in, since it's already gonna be VERY close if they do make it all the way to 109. And at the end of the day, I don't doubt at all that Asagiri and Harukawa can make these the most monumental and game-changing mere 13 pages ever if they wanted to; a chapter does not at all need to be extremely long in order to be an important and impactful one, even if short ones we've gotten in the past haven't felt the most important.
An additional thought I've had, though this is much more crack territory than all this already is, is that since we know from Anime Expo that a Stormbringer movie at some point is highly likely (judging from Asagiri's reaction when someone brought it up), it's possible that chapter 110 and thus the final episode will involve the long-anticipated return of Verlaine and/or Adam, or at least some other major reference to Stormbringer, that would naturally and smoothly lead into a Stormbringer movie to explain things to people who haven't read the novel. It would make a lot of sense, especially since the s4 OP has the Old World sign behind Chuuya, which might be a hint that this has been in the works ever since seasons 4/5 were first in planning with Asagiri. We also know that Dazai and Chuuya's voice actors apparently struggled to record their lines together this season, which probably relates to 101 and possibly 109, but it could be 110 too.... I could be very wrong, as I'm no expert on this kind of thing, but I kinda doubt they would bring Chuuya's actor in for just the vampire growls, and Asagiri placing heavy emphasis on Chuuya's importance this season in that one interview gives me the impression that he's talking about much more than just 101/109. But that's the least solid evidence I have, that's just mostly based on vibes I get.
So basically, I think a lot of factors -- the unusual episode count, how close the anime is to catching up to the manga with three whole episodes left, the seemingly arbitrary recent chapter lengths, and the climactic events of 109 -- can tell us that 110 might be a very, VERY big deal. Again, there's of course no way this arc is anywhere near close to being finished, with so much left to address and resolve, but since it is currently incomplete in the manga, unlike the previously adapted arcs, if the anime was going to adapt it at all, they'd have to find a place that feels satisfying enough to end this season, knowing there won't be more anime for a long time after this, and so I think they specifically planned for that, from both Bones' and A/H's sides. 10 episodes might not have been enough to reach that point, but 12 or 13 might have been too many it wouldn't have been if Bones actually decided to slow down and let the story breathe the way it needs to, but this post isn't meant to criticize the anime, so maybe 11 was just right. And maybe Asagiri and Harukawa specifically pushed to make recent chapters longer than usual, in order to make sure that the manga reached the story content in 110 the monthly release right before season 5 was to end.
Is this just copium? Absolutely. Am I going to look like an absolute clown in two days when this post ages like milk? Probably. But the evidence is There, so let me just enjoy my delusions until Sunday, okay 🥂🫡
#bungou stray dogs#seriously call me a clown and point and laugh at me if I'm proven wrong all you want#but I really feel like there's solid evidence for this#either s5 isn't gonna reach 109 at all (but I seriously cannot fathom where you would want to stop before then) or they'll go beyond it#if they really do end it with 109....... well i'll give Bones kudos for having the balls to do that ig lol#maybe i'm underestimating (overestimating???) them idk#also just to clarify I don't wanna make it sound like I think Asagiri let the anime/Bones dictate the manga's pacing#like I'm sure these were his/their (him and Harukawa's) own decisions first and foremost#not that (if this theory is true) the anime had a major impact on how the chapters were split and that it-#-would have been extremely different otherwise#i'm pretty confident in that Asagiri does not do anything with BSD he isn't comfortable with#and he doesn't let anyone tell him how to write his story#I just feel like he worked with Bones to make this near-simultaneous release happen#BUT if this is the case I don't feel like it had any major effect on the writing/final product that is the manga#like the last handful of chapters have been so incredible#so I at least am still perfectly happy lol#(i mean i'm devastated and a nervous wreck but u know 🫡 in a good way lmao)#anyway 110 in two days please let this theory be true because I need some fucking hope already#please let Oda show up as Dazai's guardian angel to help (see what I did there-)#it would be the perfect way to end the collective season that is 4/5 with s4 beginning with Oda and now ending with Oda#Asagiri are you reading me are you picking up what I'm putting down please please a ghost Oda is long overdue please-#Oda Verlaine Adam just GIVE ME SOMEONE ALREADY 😭😭😭#MAYBE EVEN A TASTE OF THE FYODOR BACKSTORY TO TIE INTO HIM BEING IN ANIME UNTOLD ORIGINS. THE POSSIBILITIES ARE ENDLESS
336 notes
·
View notes
Text
repeating “jealousy is a disease get well soon bitch” in my head every time i block rude anons and delete hatemail so i can try to brush it off but i am not ur strongest soldier so can you all stop being mean 🩷 please
#♡.gabi barks#im okay i prommy (im crying rn)#like omg seriously what did i do!!!!! i dont do anything but mind my fucking business!!!! and talk to my precious little friends!!!!!! but#apparently i cant even do that bc no matter what i always get meanies in my inbox 🤞#like im seriously not doing anything i just came back and im already receiving asks telling me to kms and deactivate like do yall realize#im a person too.. like im literally real and i have feelings and im not a complete ditz#like what is so hard about treating people with kindness!!!!#ive spent all morning blocking mean anons and deleting asks and trying to brush off the mean words i see and receive and it hurts!!!!#im just a girl#if u send hate or tslk meanly to or about me im assuming ur a LEWSER and have no life bc i dont even do anything fr!!!!! im coolin!!!!!#i was gonna post this with the jealousy is a disease get well soon girl meme but i couldnt find it#anyway im fine!!!! (as im actively texting my therapist)#no bc im so upset and so angry WHAT AM I DOING WRONG#what am i doing to deserve this like please give me a valid answer so i can fix it im so tired of being sad and mistreated and bullied :(#i know i promised i was gna try to be more active but my little heart is so heavy and sad
28 notes
·
View notes
Text
hmm I think instead of feeling bad I will simply project this bad onto The Character . for funsies .
#just blahs#not gonna do anything abt it bcs idk how i could but ovuehncke sparrow with scrupulosity ocd <3#just consider with me sparrow being terrified of accidentally saying anything wrong or offending literally anyone#and her completely accidentally saying smthin offensive and trying to figure out how to properly deal with that#without just making the whole situation about herself rather than the person she actually offended#bcs shes afraid that makes her a bad person who just didnt care enough to be aware of herself#gets a bit venty past this point but guys im literally pinky promising you rn I'm ok and ill figure it out please no one bring it up to me#and nobody think about the fact that im projecting rn just think about sparrow ok#this is my way of dealing w similar stuff w/o making it about me bcs ik that thats a shitty thing to do and i need to work it out myself#aughhncns literally every time goddamnit . i accidentally do smthin wrong and then someone (very kindly !!!) tells me hey that was wrong#and then i have a breakdown about it and feel bad and overthink it for the next like week#jesus fucking christ ok it's fine im being patient with myself and i know no one thinks im a bad person#and i know that they know i didnt mean it#and i know that i did say smthin insensitive and thats just something i have to be aware of#and the fact that i said it doesn't mean that im a terrible horrific irredeemable person#i'm trying my best now to be aware of it and be better and think abt whst they said and that's all i can do and thats ok#its fine .#anyways .#also hi cookies if you see this genuinely thank you for telling me tho like i do appreciate it and i am ok dw
13 notes
·
View notes
Text
not someone commenting on tams to tell me to update taob. what if you fucked off forever
#the actual nerve of some people like it's bad enough getting those kinds of comments ON taob#bc obviously any comment along the lines of 'im literally begging you to update' is gonna piss the fuck out of a writer#BUT TO DO IT ON A DIFFERENT FUCKING FIC????? HAVE A HORRIBLE DAY#and the fact these people not only dont think they're doing anything wrong but think they're COMPLIMENTING ME#'i love your writing so much please update taob' IS NOT A FUCKING COMPLIMENT. LET ALONE ON A FIC THAT HAS NO RELEVANCE TO TAOB#WITH NO MENTION OF TAMS IN THE COMMENT EITHER. NO 'I REALLY LIKE THIS FIC. UPDATE TAOB' not that that would make it okay#but the utter audacity of it all is jarring. how are you gonna clearly have read tams and felt the need to comment#just to have NOTHING to say about it and tell me to update a different fic. actually fuck off#ending the comment with 'okay i love you' do you now. do you really. well it's unrequited babe. fuck off#you people make me mad sometimes istg#'hella why are you always so negative about taob's popularity' when i get something good out of it i'll let you know#edit: they left that comment on ch1 of tams which actually implies they didn't even read it which is somehow. worse#like they've clearly just clicked on it with no regard for the passion and effort i put into it seeing as it's a WHOLE SEPERATE FIC#and considered only that i might give the comment more attention if it was on tams not taob. what the actual fuck is the thought process#in what WORLD is someone taking that as a compliment. in what world am i gonna go 'omg writing it rn just for you bestie 🥺'#actually fuming about this idk why this one has got to me so much the utter CHEEK of it all has really knocked me sideways lmaooo
27 notes
·
View notes
Text
Whoops, sorry, I don't know what happened, but the link to the book I posted earlier is working now. Somehow the privacy setting changed so that you had to request access, which... is ridiculous. Again, sorry about that!
#also yeah if it happens in the future and you get a request link thing#don't send a request and just tell me something's wrong with an ask in my inbox here on tumblr#i will NEVER do anything with anyone's info (i deleted all the requests) but it gave me people's names so... yeah#not sure if it asked for that on the form or not but yeah#please just don't do that for safety reasons! i am looking out for you guys! 💕
8 notes
·
View notes
Last Seen Blogs
animepw
Musaigen no Phantom World
gammia
Gammia
prince-of-rye-fields-blog
The Royal Prince from America
ripedeggplant
Heal your soul with anime, books...and food👀