#idkwtd
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Another change. Another heavy burden. And another year coming to an end. I’m still stuck with this weight on top of me, and I can’t seem to wiggly my way out. I thought the mid of this year was as torturous as it could get but I was gravely mistaken. I rather be miserable due to heartbreak than to endure these new set of challenges. I just didn’t know how easy I had it and instead went and looked for trouble. And I found it, more pain and more misery and another burden to add to the list. What a fool. And now I’m standing among the consequences of my own actions and I want nothing more than to run away and hide and pretend like it doesn’t exist, like this never happened. I don’t know what to do. I don’t know where to go. The idea of loneliness no longer scares me or saddens me. I’ve grown found of it, to be left in peace. But here I am, in another awful situation and one I can’t seem to deal with all alone. I truly don’t know what to do. Do I speak up against their overwhelming addiction and unstable mental state? Or do I remain silent, a simple enabler by not speaking out only because I’m afraid of them, afraid of what they’re capable of, afraid that it puts people’s life at jeopardy. It’s all so complicated. I wish it were how it was before, the innocence, child-like mentality, our youth. I wish we were both still young, naive, and hopelessly falling in love. Now it’s just gotten too messy too fast. I don’t feel real. Life doesn’t feel real. And I certainly don’t recognize this person before me. You’re nothing but a stranger, a stranger clothed to look like them. I don’t know you.
#journal#diary#life#love#personal#woe#dark#selfie#addiction#overwhelmed#psychosis#mental breakdown#mental abuse#aggressive#abuse#unhealthy#unsafe#scared#idkwtd
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recovery after watching flower of evil should be included in my health insurance wtf
(if you couldn't tell my name is inspired by flower of evil bcs im so creative and cool!!)
#flower of evil#kdrama#drama korea#lee joongi#kim jihoon#moon chae won#netflix#health insurance#i wish i could watch this again with fresh eyes#i cried#first post#idkwtd#random#kpop
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BrkngDwnSlwly
I can feel my insides breaking down—
Giving out and giving up on me
The darkness is slowly taking over
My physical body betrays my mental
The wrists in my mind flayed wide
Releasing the pent up pressure inside
I long for the day I don’t hate myself—
Hating what I have become—
Hating the way I feel every waking second
Sometimes…
Sometimes I wish I could simply stop existing
So this incessant self-loathing would stop
Everything inside is slowly rotting away
Turning to crumbling ash and stone
My exoskeleton belying everything to everyone
I don’t know how I even got this way
I don’t know how long I’ve been this way
I don’t know how to stop feeling this way
This is all I know now
This is all I feel now
Is this all that’s left now?
If so, end my torment…
Cause I can’t take much more of this…
This barely existing is too much…
Kyle Stewart
2/25/23
#poetry#sadness#depression#self loathing#emptiness#self h@rm#self deprecation#lost#self reflection#darkness#in my head#drowning#falling apart#lost in my head#idk#idkwtd#I don’t want to be here
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i have a ticket to see slater on sat but idk if i wanna go bc i just dont wanna be away from my boyfriend for even a few hours and im pmsing and overstimulated as it is and im going alone and ive already seen him before but i need to hear this song liveeee
youtube
idkwtddddddd i would go just to hear this song live wahhhhhhh
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Although my first language is English, I lowkey feel that anon's pain. My cousins from Korea tries so hard to pass their classes but ends up failing multiple times.
This cousin in particular we'll call Sandy got very interested in America and the UK that she was willing to go to extra English classes just so she could learn the language faster and even discover something or two about the two countries.
She kept failing most of her exams and by the time it reached her 9th or 10th exam, she literally started to give up and just forget about the language all together. She is speaking English, but it's mostly broken up and mixed with some Korean words if she doesn't know that word in English.
So just seeing a native English speaker struggle with the language would give her some closure that she's not the only one who struggles, especially since English has been seen as this "it" class by a lot of people.
English is really hard and honestly makes no sense. There's so many words that sound the same but are spelled different and mean different things. like There, Their, They're, and see I think there's another one but I'm not sure if there is a another there or if I just don't remember it. and also wear, where, and we're and there's even more. And the spelling of a lot of words make no sense at all and i think it's just cause it looks pretty. So many silent letters and confusing rules. No matter how far anyone gets in English is an accomplishment cause it's difficult to really learn any language but especially a confusing language like English. I also hate when people make fun of or make a joke out of an Idols English like they are trying and they're doing their best. Also like when Jungwoo said IDKWTD I don't know what to do. Like everyone was laughing at the asap part but for him to come up with that off the top of his head shows he genuinely has a great grasp of the language cause I wouldn't even be able to do that as instantly. I think Jungwoo kind of exaggerates for the camera. Also The potato? moment honestly it did kind of sound like she said potato, i also heard potato.
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IDKWTD IST PHM IDWLY MF
everything that i do
results into nothing new
but the same disappointments
is what i did really bad?
that would make you feel so mad?
or is it just i am too naïve
too naïve to realize that i was being both sensitive and insensitive
i blame everything to myself
but sometimes i don’t
i overthink too much
that causes my body to shut down
i overthink too much
that in the ocean of my mind, i continuously drown
i am worried, i don’t know why
maybe because i don’t wanna lose you
because if that happens, i will surely cry
cry like a river
feel the sorrow forever
if ever i am wrong, please tell me
do not ignore me, as if i am a stranger
i don’t want to look stupid
because i already feel stupid
saying sorry even though i know i shouldn’t
it is because of the thought that i might loose you
this might be confusing
but i hope you understand what i am feeling
i am just an ordinary person
who is wounded by her emotions
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the Dungeon Of OSHA Violations(aka Spire) is SO FUN. I would run it daily if I weren't so afraid of lfg randos.
Oh MOOD on the randos part. I'm so scared because idkwtd. XD And they can be so toxic... I have a friendly server on Discord if you want, though, to run stuff with!! They aren't the most active, but everyone is super kind there!! :D
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JENLISA 'IDKWTD' in Berlin Day 2 💕🌈
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I've been wanting to write again and tiva's been on my mind, but i don't have the patience to sit down and think about a well developed story...... idkwtd
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Me: *deep breath* I have to deal with the cards life has given me. I can do this.💪👍
*my mom appears and starts shit again*
Me: why the hell didn't I wait outside for the garbage truck to run me over this morning ...why did my dad stop trying to kill me?..-right, my old sick cats need me, my mom couldn't take care of a needy doll.
🙍♀️I'm so tired and I need help so badly. Doctor refused to meet me to update my medication, despite my physio & pharmacist requesting it. I'll be out of strong painkillers soon. Gosh idkwtd. Well aside from my usual 'keep going until it's late enough for my mom to let me go to bed without complaints, take melatonin and hope i'll have the strength to achieve more tomorrow'.🙍♀️
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This might be like very random but i like this guy; and he definitely doesn’t like me😭 And i don’t know how to explain but like he texted with every now and then and we called i think once? He goes to the school next to mine but our schools are in the same building so i see him sometimes, And he just always ignores me? Lots of people are telling me hes a player too💀idkwtd
definitely take the fact that everyone is saying he's a player into consideration because you do not deserve to get your feelings played with, and potentially get heartbroken. also, if he's not showing any interest at all (like not even little hints) there is sadly a possibility that he's not interested and you don't deserve to have you time and efforts ruined because of that either. just please be careful and think it through!!
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idkwtd,,ustntmntttmgf,,utmuhai,,utmuwl,,ntudwae,,buwttogntyigu,,,nhursttog,,issahb,, ijwu,iowu,inhefae,,icoaomffu,,icbudttm,icbuwmtgromirlBF,,,ihnn,isl,isttmm,iauttmd,,,itu,ywudttmk,,ish,ilu,imusm,ihml,ihtf,ihbb,iwu,uum,umm,by,wdidtdt?isss,ihhaa,ihnmtda,iwuc,iwuwh,idwtflta,ihsm,ightdmfu,ihturatmmc,ilbuwmsm,boohww,na,,,ban,issopdttm,idha,isl,ijwu,isowu,iwuwcm,iwuwttrotm,iwuwbhwm,iwudhhnlai,iwunam,iwunmm,idkwtd,,,
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