reasons I am a catch:
I can change your oil
I can change your tire
I can jump your car
have many cats
got a collection of banger cds
great music taste
you're the hot one in the relationship 100%
will give you lots of lil gifts
very cuddly
I will do Strong Things for you
can usually open jars too
my bed is super comfy
will remove the mice and spiders
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The funny person in the group/class doing something dumb and ending up in the hospital
They open up snapchat and put a picture of their fucked up x-ray scan on their story with the caption "lmaoo guess what i did"
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Hot take about the Cat Returns:
if it came out today, the general consensus would be that Baron and Muta are divorced
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One of the things I really liked about The Batman (2022) is that it's the first live action film I've seen to really nail how WEIRD Batman is.
I don't mean Bruce Wayne, as a weird sad guy trying to repress childhood trauma with vigilante justice and a bat costume (although the movie also nails that).
I mean that Batman, as an entity, as a concept... is fucking weird. Like, for everyone.
We (the audience) all know Batman as a character. And we all like Batman. We watched his cartoons and read his comics and keep going to his movies because we like Batman. He's cool! He's the world's greatest detective. He's figgin' Batman.
But to the people of Gotham? The Gotham PD? Random crime scene techs doing a sweep for finger prints or whatever? This dude sweeps in dressed as a freaking bat?? And one of the officers is just like "oh hey man, glad you're here. What's your take on all this?"
And the Guy Dressed as a Bat just growls "vengeance hides in the shadows, and beneath the darkness... So do I" before sweeping dramatically out again.
And you're just like ??? did everyone see that? Was that... Is that just something that's gonna happen now?
Apparently that's just what Tuesday is like now. Maybe the Metropolis PD is hiring.
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theres only been two ships I've supported where one of them can be an absoloute fucking psychopath and the story still works and somehow it's OK. and thats rosekiller and frerard
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one thing hannibal is really fucking good at is gift giving. since he's so in tune with people, can read them well, and has an incredible memory, he will always get someone something they like. it's also usually expensive and needlessly fancy, but they have to love it, anyway.
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Once i wrote a story for an assignment in english class. It was supposed to be four pages dou le spaced but i had so much fun and i asked if it could be four pages single spaced. I was super proud of this piece. I showed it to my mom and dad (which was big i never showed them anything) and they both said they liked it (which also weird they dont usually engage in things i do). Anyways it was a socratic seminar thing and i had to pass out copies to everyone in the class so we could talk about it.
I think only 2 other people in the class read the whole thing besides the teacher. The people who read it basically said it was stupid.
Anyways i never wrote anything for fun or really shared anything with anyone again 🥲
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Las Vegas: *exists*
Me (an acespec person with every sensory issues who cares about the fucking environment): why tho
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i think my gay awakening was when that one lady gaga cd game out and she had the balloon thingy covering her tatas and i was desperately trying to look at them at age 10
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i think we should remind musicians they can absolutely make up little stories for their songs btw. it doesn’t have to be about them at all. you can invent a guy and put him in situations to music. time honoured tradition in fact.
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I think I met a witch once
I used to have this reoccurring dream that my legs would stop working and I would not be able to walk.
It happened around once a week, and it was around 50/50 for if I would panic or think "oh, I guess this is happening again." People in the dreams always assumed I was goofing around, if they even noticed anything wrong at all.
One day, I had one such dream set on my college campus, on a muddy hill above the football field. It was a panic dream this time. I had army crawl through the mud in the vane hope of getting to class on time, knowing that I wouldn't make it, and watch as everyone passed me by without giving me a second thought.
I wasn't going to make it to class.
A pair of bright pink five-inch heals stopped in front of my face. I looked up from my crawl to see who it was -- a skinny blonde guy with well-jelled hair and a small frown on his face. He looked familiar at the time, like a childhood friend, but I knew I'd never met him.
"Let me help you," he said. He stooped down and picked me up, carrying me up the hill and setting me to my feet on the pavement.
I was standing.
"You should be alright now."
That was the last time I ever had that reoccurring dream.
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the way i want to ram into a wall and fall down and not get up and hope it sends me to some proper sleep
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friend wanted to see my tumblr, and when i told him i can’t show it to him bc it’s basically my personal diary he went “oh so I can’t see it but a bunch of strangers on tumblr can??” he literally does not get me. no one will get me like the people in my phone get me
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How much better do you think society would have been if the library of Alexandria didn't burn down. Like we've come this far, how much did it change fate?
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