thinking about kaidan begging shepard not to leave—not to leave like everyone before them, like rahna, like ashley, like himself on horizon. kaidan not being able to forgive himself for losing people to his own mistakes. jump zero. walking away from shep. causing himself so much heartache for nothing. stay, stay because you're the only good thing that's happened to me; shepard is the only thing he feels hes done right.
if he lost them he'd never forgive himself. he'd never forgive himself for letting them be the one that got away, letting them walk away, letting everything play out just like it did before.
like jump zero
like virmire
like horizon
he can't lose another friend. he can't lose the one person left that he truly, deeply loves.
it's for this reason he messages shepard apologetically after horizon; he knows it's wrong, and he knows he's pushing shepard away like rahna pushed him away, and god if that isn't eating him alive. so he messages the commander and reassures that he wants to trust them but needs time and needs them away from cerberus.
and in the end it's all for nothing because shepard still leaves like everyone else, and all he can do is hope his words are enough and that the commander's final words to him won't hang so heavy. and he's doing it all over again, watching them die again
i had a point here i dont remember what it was but im getting it
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"Slut."
Viktor tried to fight off the smile emerging on his face when he heard his friend's good hearted teasing. Making sure his amusement doesn't show on his face, he turned his head towards the source of the voice and replied the accusation with his best unfazed expression, "I'm not understanding what you mean."
"Oh you know damn well what I mean," Chris was looking at him with an eyebrow arched so high, he was always the best at it, "What happened to 'Graphic shirts are only for those who have no idea how to play with textures and colors.' then?" Well.
"Well," he started, "I changed my mind."
"Oh please."
Chris was staying at their place for his annual visit, supposedly including Phichit but he couldn't make it because of some family business that's too complicated for Viktor to remember, and three of them planned to have a dine out and drinking night. Yuuri left them early in the morning for his ballet class from Lilia, then Chris announced he's going to wander around the city and shop a bit so it was Viktor's job for today to visit the vet and buy Makka's special dog food and vitamins.
Until 5 minutes ago, Viktor was waiting both of them in front of their apartment where he came to park their car because he absolutely wasn't going to be the responsible one and not drink tonight.
"Yuuri should be here any time soon, he was changing the last time I texted him." This little piece of information wasn't going to please Chris' curious interrogation in any way but Viktor didn't want to give in that easily. It was his job as Chris' best friend to annoy him more.
"Uh huh, so it's any time soon he will see you in this graphic shirt. Though I have to admit, this is kind of too innocent to be a special liking."
"It's not that-"
He stopped talking immediately as he heard the apartment's door opening and there was a very husband shaped figure coming towards them with a worried smile. "Did I make you two wait?"
"Yuuri!" He turned to his husband with a huge smile he never tries to fight off. The weak man he is, Viktor practically threw himself into Yuuri's expecting embrace and kissed him.
"No darling, we were talking about Viktor's unusual clothing choices." Chris' easy reply caught Yuuri's attention and he stepped back to check his husband's outfit and what's so unusual about it.
"What about his clothes- Oh."
As Yuuri started to blush so beautifully, his eyes opened more and more to take in what's in front of him. His eyes were taking Viktor in part by part and in that gaze, Viktor felt he became a whole again. "He looks nice in it."
Well, fuck. Viktor was beyond saving.
It seemed that Yuuri remembered their friend's existence as he couldn't keep his gaze on his husband anymore so he smiled awkwardly and told them that he's going to put his bag in the car for tomorrow so they could leave.
While Yuuri was going to their car after taking the keys from Viktor, his friend looked at him with the biggest shit eating grin on his face. "What were you saying, darling?"
"I was saying that it's not a graphic shirt. It's his graphic shirt."
The grin on Chris' face was somehow growing bigger and bigger as the blush he usually doesn't have, not when he's not with Yuuri, was burning his cheeks and ears. Not to confuse it with embarrassment, it was never embarrasment. He was just so, so in love.
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oh i meant older coryo physically resembling mads more or less lmao. i guess its the aura😅? but yes also mixed with donald's as well.
Yeee I like to imagine older (not movie old) cs is scary attractive w intimidating charisma (which he would've perfected throughout his early adulthood bc unlike lg's natural charm, its a skill for him that has to be mastered) that could make someone feel like theyre either lower than dog shit or on top of the world depending on a single glance cs gives them
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