not me immediately getting jude from this

who did you guys get? 👀

Hey! Just saw this so sorry for the late response but wanted to respond. I am the “Unpopular Opinions” Person btw

OBVIOUSLY all the respect is meant. You are a genius <3 love your work, this is just some commentary

- Brennan IS a worse person than Killian because Killian really… doesn’t have THAT much agency in his life. Idk maybe I’m being too soft on him but I’ve always emphasized w/ children who make bad/objectively ambiguous decisions as the result of a turbulent life. Therefore, where Killian and Brennan made the SAME level of bad choices, Killian was genuinely a good person who was just trying to be a teenager/live his life in this “Fish out of Water” scenario he was put in. Brennan, meanwhile, came off like he had A LOT more agency and… strength, so to speak, not only in his own life but who he was in general. Therefore it’s a lot harder to excuse him for the stupid shit he puts himself in (like involving himself w/ the Principal’s son AND getting drawn into the bad/rebellious crowd, etc.). Therefore, Brennan is a worse person because generally those people (the reckless people who know they can make different, better choices and CHOOSE NOT TO), don’t tend to make the BEST decisions for their loved ones as well. Like I could see Brennan pulling some real dick behavior and causing shit for the people he cares for. Meanwhile, Killian? I highly doubt it. It’s the difference between “all bark but no bite” (Killian) and vice versa. One is just better.

- I agree on that! I’m just saying that IRL, the friends that stick will stick around. No amount of distance can TRULY crush any friendship. No doubt. Meanwhile… him relying on his friends as his family? Idk. There’s a difference between “My friends are my family” and “my friends can replace my family.” One is a MASSIVE cope and the other is just having close platonic/non-traditional family relationships. I still say Ireland would’ve given him time to grieve, properly, and become a more stable/stronger person. Just because something is harder to do doesn’t mean it’s the wrong choice.

- They are healthier!! You’re so right. And yeah, Staz and Ethan are similar but not the same people BUT… Will ALWAYS gave me the wrong vibes. I don’t vibe w/ hypocrites, and he is a MASSIVE one, considering him and Jude are EXTREMELY alike (Will just have the advantage of not having a horrible relationship w/ his Mother, otherwise I GUARANTEE he would’ve made similar if not the same choices). HOWEVER, the dynamics are EERILY similar. Two soft boys from subtly troubled homes change the perspective of two much more damaged, aggressive boys? Yeah, apologies if this wasn’t the correct read in the slightest, but both couples sort of gave me those vibes tbh. Although not ENTIRELY, clearly, as they are both complex enough to not be carbon copies (I realized this might’ve been insulting and so sorry if it is. I’m not trying to say that at all, they just follow the same TROPES.)

- You were an EXCELLENT writer (I mean your characters than were ten times more complex than mine are NOW), I just think the plot needed the characters to do what it needed them to do and there wasn’t a lot of time for diversions. Also, it really isn’t your fault if they were “a nightmare.” Hollywood/etc. LOVES the dysfunctional friendships. Just look at Riverdale! White Lotus (if you need a more updated example)! Gossip Girl! Literally any superhero movie. It’s just more fun for friends to sort of hate each others guts, unfortunately. ESPECIALLY in Young Adult media. Benji is still a bad friend to Ethan and Gideon tho… I will DIE on this hill (plus Sonnet and Ethan are the platonic soulmates we never got to see).

And that’s it! Thank you so much for your time!! I hope I never veered into disrespectful or rude while writing this. I feel like I did at multiple points so if I have, I am extremely sorry, clearly not my intention. I have a HUGE amount of respect to you and obviously, these are tour books, I just was curious to see if you would hate these tbh. All the love <3 Have a great day/evening!!!!

Cheers :)

This was super respectfully worded and I really appreciate the perspective! As the writer, it's sometimes hard for me to imagine how things can be interpreted differently than I intend, so I appreciate these kinds of honest perspectives. It gives me a lot to consider when writing in the future! Thanks for sharing! :)

oog. Hiveswap/hauntswitch time.

This is just basically thoughts and stuff whoopee

Dammek thoughts woo woo he lives in my head

Um okay so Dammek is y'know. Mlm and trans yea yep okaie um also. He is a tall mfer. Like he is 5'8. Hes pretty average like body type wise and then he stands up and people are like "haha whAT THE FUCK" and his antlers only make him look taller.

Also he has mutations like any good troll important to the story. His antlers are actual antlers that he sheds twice a sweep and they grow back. And his eyes are sensitive to light and that's why he wears shades. But when its pitch black and even the trolls with the best eyesight cant see he can see eveything.

Also hes a stupid bastard idiot (affectionate)

Like he'd be like "xeff are you recording okay good hey guys Dammek here ttoday I'm gonna be biking offff my rooff and across tthe sttreett tto xeff's hive witth tthis ramp I made" then he points to the shittiest most unstable 'ramp' ever. Then he rides off it and lands in the middle of the street and breaks his nose and knocks some teeth out. Like full on "hi I'm dammek and tthis xeffros welcome tto jackass" (causes severe damage to both of them)

When he gets to earth for a while he and jude are trying to kill eachother and then when they calm down and stop they still have the dynamic of like frenemies "DAMMEK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING over" (starts breaking shit) "sir ffinishing tthis ffightt"

He plays a lot of video games like troll halo y'know authority director aka troll master chief and he also plays troll nintendo and sonnic the quillbeast and on his gamegrub (gameboy) and his 3ds and he plays on his wii as well and yeah. Hes a gamer.

My man spends his days watching troll vines

Alternia still has vines and tiktok is still music.ly

Okay but also he like. Is kinda hard on Xefros because he genuinely thinks he's helping him and wants to keep himb safe. Also it says on the wiki he likes Xefros' smile and. 🥺🥺🥺 my heart. Also he has repressed flushed feelings for Xefros that he never mentions ever on alternia but as soon as he gets to earth and stops trying to kill jude hes like "ohhhh I miss my boyfriend uggghhhh" and never bothers to explain quadrants so jude just thinks hes dating Xef and Dammek never cares to correct him on that he doesn't find it important to be like "aha. Acttually we are justt moirails aka bestties ahaha" because y'know. Repressed feelings.

Also hes a fucking loser he is nearing 7 sweeps so he is 14 or 15 and as someone who is 14 hes a fucking loser (affectionate)

Also coming back to the antler thing I feel like he would shed them on earth and jude would try to put his mom's makeup on Dammek to make him look human and Dammek is just running around screaming and jude has to physically wrestle him down and put the makeup on him. Hes squirming like a cat and hissing and shit like "gett ttff off me I'm gonna kill you jude you are going tto die" and jude is trying to remain calm as this older alien who could throw him if he wanted to is threatening him. He gets the makeup on and just kinda. Brings him around town.

Before he disguises him tho he parades him around town like "I FOUND AN ALIEN over" and nobody believes him. He takes Dammek in for show and tell and his teacher is like "jude please stop dressing up your sisters friends like aliens" and jude is like "my sister doesn't have any friends" and Dammek starts laughing but it sounds more like clicking and chittering and everyone is confused and hes like "idk wttff a sistter is butt nice ffuckin burn jude"

❝ MORTAL TALES ❞ ( O1 )

summary and word count: a certain fae can’t help but find amusement in the youngest elfhame’s prince‘s frustration. wc — 1493

pairings: the cruel prince!cardan greenbriar x fem!reader

contents and warnings: jealousy, hinting of threesome, mentions of knife (nothing extreme), suggestive content, mutual pining-ish, fluffy?

a/n: i used tcp cardan because i couldn’t see any context of y/n being used in a fic in the other books (i also need it for the next part </3). i tried my best to include the tail bit since it didn‘t come out right, ill add it in either part 2/3. cardan is a bit ooc (i made him a bit idk how to put it besides: sub?man whore. because i believe that’s what he is 😁). and y/n resembles jude just a little bit with the blade thing, but only a little because jude is neither very flirty or open up about her sexuality (more so in the first book) and that’s what i made y/n like.

also, since this was more in y/n’s perspective, next part will be more so cardans <3

Y/N's legs crossed as she leaned her head on locke's shoulder, while Poppy, a half-faerie: who Locke has shown great interest in— for all the wrong reasons — sat before them and told them of the mortal tales her father would recite to her every night or the ones she gathered on her own from her adventures back where the humans lived.

Y/N found them odd: how they all were almost nothing compared to the people here; they were fragile, but she found similar enjoyment in them all nonetheless — and perhaps she had the eldest duarte to blame for her obsession with all things mortal, and Poppy's tales weren't helping either — which has unfortunately gained her the harsh scowls from the youngest prince of Elfhame.

Though that was no surprise. The boy had never been kind enough for her to realise that his treatment towards her was almost cruel — not that it had mattered, because to Y/N it was a show; she knew where his feelings lay, and it was nothing but amusing. To everyone with eye sight as clear as day, he'd never liked her, but when in class, when he believes her to be ignorant of his stare or his wagging tail; she has a classmate whisper every move his body makes, and it fuelled her heart all too much.

"It's not quite normal there, unlike here, if anyone decided to walk around with it they'd get humiliated till they're six feet under," Poppy snorted, covering her mouth with the back of her palms.

Locke turned to stare behind him, catching sight of the prince and Nicasia — both pouting miserably (one much too obvious than the other), and at that, he smiled. "Oh you’re right, tails are quite odd aren’t they? More so on a prince,"

Y/N shrugged at that, "It's alright, I do think Cardan makes it quite, charming? He’s always wagging it around like some...was it a cat you called it?"

"Yes a cat," Poppy shook her head positively, "though don't say that out loud, I doubt he's as clueless on mortal knowledge as we think he is."

Locke hummed, a smirk growing on his lips as he kept his eyes trained on his friend, Y/N following suite of his gaze and sultry grinning at the boy from afar, ignoring Nicasia — causing his eyes to widen momentarily, before the scowl found home on his face once more.

"He's never quite liked you has he?" His words were soft against her ear, his lips landing gently beneath her ear-lobes, kissing it tenderly as he kept his eyes trained on his flaring friend — who if one squinted, could perhaps see smoke escape his ears, if they ignored the immense swinging of his tail.

Y/N smiled, a small amount of malice lacing her intentions, "hatred I'd say, though he doesn't think I'm that foolish does he?"

Poppy, who now stared at her feet, hands tugging the grass with a blush coating her tanned features, "he's looked like he wanted to murder Locke."

Y/N snickered, a sickeningly sweet one at that, as she lowly muttered, "it’s all working then, sweetness."

Later on, when Y/N was left with no one to keep her company — as Locke found himself adorning Poppy and Nicasia's presence, alone — she took notice of the emptiness of Locke's home. It was beautiful, nothing as extravagant as Hollow Hall, yet she found herself admiring the interior all the same.

And as her hands traced the designs etched on the walls, as if it were a reminiscence of her first time staring upon them, a deep, and rather annoyed cough fleed her from her thoughts.

she stayed in position, her back facing Cardan and only gripping the knife resting on her waist, "now what would the prince need at a time like this? Should he not be in his humble abode by now?"

"Should you not be with your lover boy? Or is it that you enjoy using people like he does?" His tone was hostile as he spat his words, however the light softness that rippled around it was evident and Y/N couldn't help her lips tugging upwards.

She turned around, staring at him — where he leaned cooly against one of the walls — with squinted eyes, faux contempt present in her stare, and he shifted in his spot at her gaze.

She swiftly walked, her steps careful as to not trip on her dress. And when she reached him, she, boldly, placed her hands on his chest, dragging it downwards firmly — and his thumping heart beneath his rib cage could be faintly heard from the short proximity between them.

Y/N titled her head when he clenched his fists, but found a smile etching on her lips when his eyes were lightly fluttering. "Do I really threaten you that much that your hatred towards me is the only thing that keeps you going? It's pathetic truly, especially for a prince."

Cardan gulped, mind hazy at the contact and his body was supported by his tail, that was wrapped roughly around one of his legs. He could not utter the next words without stroking her ego, and it was then he'd wished — though he'd never admit out loud — that he were mortal, because he needed to lie if not keep his mouth shut.

More so with her trapping him, her knees coming forward and slightly spreading his legs, so that the entirety of his body leaned upon the wall. And despite him towering over her due to one of her legs bending in-front of the other, he could not move, catching sight of the shiny blade securely placed on her hips and her rigid grasp on them.

She had been around a certain mortal for too long, he thought, and at that his sneer was present again.

Y/N gently bit her tongue to stifle the giggle from escaping her, "what, cat's got your tongue?"

His lips were tightly sealed, and though he already knew the effects she displayed were affecting him, greatly, he refused to acknowledge her — especially that any movement could cause his legs to move slightly forward and brush . . .

She shook her head with a light hearted laugh that had his heart beating just a little bit faster, just a little bit. Her hands releasing the grip she had on her blade, before placing it on his cheek and patting him smoothly.

"You're quite humorous you know, would be a shame if you wasted all that energy on 'hating' me when it could be used for something else, you decide, my prince." she said, her tone sensual and low, before gradually stepping away allowing room (only a small amount at that) for the boy before her to breathe, she let one of her fingers crawl delicately on his hollow cheek bones, that though looked sharp, were as soft as anything could be.

Cardan's eyes widened ever so slightly, now registering her words, "are you flirting with me?" He asked. The space between them now slightly obvious, and he hated it — almost as much as he pretends to loathe her.

Y/N raised her brows, crossing her arms in an unlikely childish manner before nodding, "you're quite oblivious you know? Yes."

"Well," the confirmation enabled a smirk to appear on his face, only to be dismissed by her voice, again.

"Well? Is that all? Because I have things to do, and if my offer does not interest you then I'll gladly leave and find another willing volunteer," she purred, ignoring the way his brows harshly and quickly furrowed, creating a crease, "how about Locke? We are reasonably close, and he does not have a tail — which looks a bit foolish, don't you think?"

He was blushing crimson now, red sparklings littering his pale cheeks, but then his lips curled up — however, he does not look as frighting as he's expecting to be, he knew that, especially with her knees still resting between his thighs (which is all he's trying to drift his mind from at the moment).

"I don't see anything off with it, I've been told it makes one interesting. You've spent too much time with mortals and those alike." Cardan's jaw clenched and his chest was rising a lot more than it was a few minutes before.

Y/N pursed her lips, "Well then, show me how interesting one can get." She leaned forward, her breath fanning atop his lips and he found his own hitching.

His eyes were wandering from her eyes, which he secretly adored, to her lips, and he subconsciously nodded, leaning forward.

Only then, her hands rested on his chest, pushing him away slightly and his head came in contact with the wall yet again, and he had to bite his bottom lips in hopes that she had no idea how much he’d needed her, all of her.

Y/N stepped backwards, finally standing straight. Her hands on her side once more and she gave the prince an alluring smile, "I'll see you later, cardan."

He glared at the spot she had been standing in once she’d left, and he knew that it was a silly game she’s playing.

And what is a game if it involves one player?

i cannot stop thinking about tma hell's kitchen au

(@f0xesand0wls thank you for enabling me)

- elias is the head chef, and peter and gertrude are his sous chefs. there are 20 total chefs in the competition: red team: jon, tim, georgie, daisy, naomi, agnes, gerry, jordan, helen/michael, oliver blue team: martin, sasha, melanie, basira, mike, jude, julia, jared, jane, manuela

- the black jackets are jon, martin, tim, sasha, georgie, and melanie, and the finalists are jon and martin. the winner is probably martin, but it doesn't really matter, because the actual plot of this is a jonmartin rivals-to-friends-to-lovers slowburn

- annabelle is the one who puts all of the film and audio together at the end. jmart watch the show once it's put on television and go 'what the fuck i didn't say any of that' because that's how reality tv is babey

- martin is one of those chefs who does poorly at the beginning but gets better and ends up in the final two. even though he's not on the same team as jon, jon is like 'this guy sucks' and maybe martin messes something up for jon early on and jon decides he does not like martin.

- jon is so nervous that he's going to screw up and get sent home early (he doesn't have formal culinary training and feels deeply underqualified) so he's very stiff and overly professional at the beginning. he relaxes over time as he becomes more confident in his own cooking and as he does well at challenges and dinner services.

- somewhere around chapter/episode 5, martin tells jon that he doesn't have any formal culinary training and that he said he did in order to get into the restaurant job he had prior to coming on the show. he's been cooking for his mother since he was ten though, and jon surprises himself by saying that that's a lot more impressive than studying technique in france or something. that's the catalyst of their transition from rivals into friends

- somewhere around episode 8, jude (who got switched to the red team a few episodes prior) gets eliminated, but on the dinner service before she does, there's an incident in the kitchen and jon's hand gets burnt pretty badly (not so badly that he has to go home, and he fights through the rest of dinner service because of course he does). he insists he doesn't have to go to the hospital for it, and elias reluctantly agrees and has the medic look at it. in the dorms later, martin helps jon unwrap it and put more burn cream on it and change the bandages and... yeah <3

- daisy and jon do not get along at first, and daisy actually tries to sabotage jon early in the season/fic. jon nearly gets eliminated because of it and he is not happy. then, a good few episodes later, the red team wins a challenge and they go on some sort of outdoorsy award and something happens and jon saves daisy from getting seriously injured. they're on better terms after that.

- when jon, tim, sasha, martin, melanie, and georgie get black jackets, elias (like every actual season of hell's kitchen) brings their family members/friends in for them to see. jon gets his grandmother, tim his brother, sasha her mother, georgie her best friend alex, and melanie some of her ghosthunt uk (the restaurant) friends. the only person martin has is his mother, and they tell him that she was too sick to come, but he can't shake the feeling that she just didn't want to. she didn't even agree to make him a video. it's a very awkward affair, and after the challenge (which tim wins) jon stands by martin while they're... idk, peeling 200 pounds of potatoes or something and they talk about it and they talk about a lot of their personal lives. for most of the competition, they're very aware that they're on camera at all times, but jon decides that being there for martin is more important than worrying about that.

- jon wins the next black jacket challenge and, when asked who he wants to invite on the reward, invites martin. they get to go wine tasting in a beautiful vinyard together and then they get some time to sit in the vinyard and just relax. martin probably realized he had a crush on jon around... episode/chapter 8? pretty soon after his admission that he doesn't have formal training. this episode is when jon realizes that he has a crush on martin, and the wine tasting suddenly seems very romantic and he gets very flustered. martin just thinks he's getting nervous since they're getting closer to the end of the competition.

- it's martin and jon in the finals. martin has tim, melanie, basira, and agnes on his bridage and jon has sasha, georgie, daisy, and gerry. in the middle of the entrees, something goes very wrong in martin's kitchen (not because of martin, because agnes burns like... ten racks of lamb or something ridiculous like that) and it looks like martin might not even be able to finish and he's freaking out just a little bit, so jon does something incredibly stupid and tells sasha to take charge of the kitchen for a moment and goes over into the other kitchen and pulls martin aside and takes martin's hands in his and is like 'it's okay, you're okay, everything's going to be okay. you're extremely talented and an amazing chef and an amazing person and i love you and this is not your fault and you're going to go back out there and get things back on track.'

jon goes back to his kitchen, elias yelling at him the whole way, and martin kicks agnes out and gets his kitchen back under control and they have no other issues that night. and martin's brain completely skips over the 'i love you' until the end of service, when the adrenaline wears off and they start to clear down and jon gives him this smile and suddenly martin remembers and he's like 'oh fuck'

but jon doesn't say anything about it so martin assumes he hadn't meant to say it, because of course he didn't, because they're competing for a job and $250,000 and he probably just heard jon wrong or something. jon probably said 'i love your cooking' and martin's just being stupid and letting his crush get away from him. so they both go back and sit in the dorms and wait for elias to call them up to his office. meanwhile, jon also remembers that he accidentally let i love you slip and he's having a bit of a crisis about it because on the one hand he meant it, but on the other hand he should not have said it then and martin hasn't said anything, so maybe he didn't even hear.

still, martin needs to thank jon. so he's eventually like 'thank you for what you did back there. i don't think i would have made it through service without what you said.' then, after a moment, because it is a competition: 'why did you help me? you could have let me drown and you'd have a secure win'

and jon just shrugs and says, 'because you needed help, and i... i care about you. i didn't want to see you fail. you are a good chef, martin, and i... i know you deserve this job just as much as me. you can go work at elias's restaurant and i can go back to mine and... and that'll be okay, if that's what happens'

and martin realizes suddenly that jon lives across the country from him normally and he doesn't know if he'll be able to see jon after this (chefs are busy people, after all, not a lot of time for family and such) and before he can really think about it he's like 'i wouldn't be okay with that' and then when jon just looks at him he clarifies, 'i... i don't want to just go back to living in [washington?], working all day and coming home to an empty apartment, and you'll go back to [new york?] and i... will i even see you again? because it's been so nice, being here, being with you, and i want to see you again, jon. every day.' he hesitates a moment, then decides fuck it, if i'm wrong, at least i'll only be embarrassed for a little while longer and says, 'what you said during service. did you mean it?'

and jon, tentatively, is like, 'that you're a good chef? yes, martin, i meant it, of course i did' and martin's like 'no, the... the other thing you said. right in the middle of it all. i- i don't know if i heard you right, and i just... i need to know if you meant it'

and it would be easy for jon to say no, to pretend like he didn't. but instead, he sits next to martin on the couch and takes martin's hand in his and nods and says, 'i... i've meant it for quite some time, i think' and he smiles at martin, a little bit shy, and martin's overwhelmed with affection and he reaches for jon's face, leans forward, and--

and the phone rings. unfortunately. because elias made a decision

- martin's door opens and jon's doesn't. jon thinks he should feel crushed, and he does feel disappointed, but mostly he's just so, so happy for martin. martin is stunned, and tim and sasha and georgie and melanie and basira and daisy are waiting for him below to congratulate him. martin's stuck in a round of thank yous when he turns and sees jon, who's run down the stairs to join the celebration and is looking at martin with those same eyes he would get when he was determined to win a challenge or finish a dish that needed two more minutes in one minute. and then jon just hugs martin, so tightly martin can barely breathe, and he mumbles into martin's neck, 'i would very much like to kiss you, but i very much do not want our first kiss to be on national television' and martin laughs and hugs jon tightly in return and mumbles back, 'i love you too, jon. just in case it wasn't obvious' and even though jon just lost, he's never been happier

- (they watch the show when it comes out together half a year later, in the little bit of free time they have around running their own respective restaurants, and they spend the whole time picking it apart

jon: okay i did not say that, where did they even get that from??

martin: god do i really look like that from behind...

jon: oh christ. martin, i- i think they thought i wanted to have sex with you. ugh, they've put on weird romantic music. red lighting. i hate this. i clearly did not--no, martin, don't give me that look, you know what i mean.

martin: wow, this makes us look like terrible chefs

and, at the end:

jon: christ, of course they were recording us in the dorms after the last service. this is a cooking competition, not a romance.

martin: eh, it was a bit of a romance.

jon: hush, i'm trying to watch. they're about to announce the winner. i don't have much hope for this chef martin; after all, he did burn that risotto back in episode 2--

martin, trying not to laugh while he glares at jon: oh my god jon let it go)

What do you feel about amandamaryanna’s video on gossip girl and cosplaying poor? It reminds me of those tik tok videos that are about the most insane rich person behavior you’ve experienced. I feel like it’s subjective because the characters Dan Vanessa and Zoya are basing their poor ness around THEIR environment. So yes, there are MANY people who are actually poor but compared to their UES counterparts they would be considered “poor” due to the fact that they do not have the insane amount of disposable wealth that the other characters have and I do not really see that as them trying to cosplay as poor.

Also what are your thoughts on her argument on GG not really talking about class consciousness and POC issues. Even though the characters Ursula, Jane and Raina had short appearances on the show, as a Black person I think that is was great that they added the few POC characters on GG because their identity was not the main focus of their characters. Usually with Black or POC characters they have to go through some racial turmoil as part of the plot and in GG they got to be rich UES-ers simply because they are. Even though GG is very verryy flawed Penelope, Nelly, Kati, Isabelle and Zoe were shown how POC characters can be rich like the white characters in the show as well GG is obviously a fictional show that’s not based on anything so I don’t think that racial income statistics/racial implications need to be talked about 24/7.

so i started watching this video & just ended up reading the transcript instead. anyway. under a read more:

like, yes. i agree with her on one hand - i think gossip girl 2007 messed up by making dan's grievances be connected to financial status, because the humphreys certainly weren't "poor". like i think this point she says makes sense to an extent:

The comparison between outsiders and insiders and gossip girl is all about relativity. To the average viewer it seems absurd that a character like Dan is supposed to represent the outsider when he is so farther in than any of us could get.

But honestly, something i hate is how people who talk about this show act as if everyone who's watching is expected to know the prices of rent in new york city, etc. like i did NOT realise how expensive that loft is until someone else mentioned it to me and i would not have guessed! who is your "average viewer" - is it an American? someone who lives in New York? someone who lives in Brooklyn? you can't just define an average viewer in that way, i feel! like you are making a BIG Assumption there and it's not necessarily accurate. people who aren't american watch american tv! such is the world we are living in.

but keeping that aside, yeah: dan and jenny had stable and secure housing, the guarantee of meals, and were attending expensive private schools, so i think the show's messaging regarding class was a little strange. they definitely weren't in a financially unstable situation.

but also, you're right. like, dan and jenny weren't super duper broke, and at no point do they actually act like they are, tbh. dan is very 'oh my parents sacrificed so much to send me to st jude's' and jenny is very 'damn i wish i was richer' but there isn't really an instance where the humphreys seem to view themselves as being extremely poor, that i remember at least. in s1, jenny says something along the lines of, "we're humphreys; we're not exactly royalty." and like. she is not wrong! they're financially stable kids, but they're ordinary kids living in an environment where everyone else has the safety net of millionnaire parents to fall back on, and however much money rufus has, he isn't that.

so i think it's a grey area, like, YES, the humphreys have wealth related privilege (i don't know if this can be said for v, because honestly we don't know much about her living situation, but we do know that she works as a waitress for a bit in s1, and also that she's homeschooled, so she isn't shelling out big $$ for school fees.) but also dan and jenny are treated as 'less than' because they are considered nobodies.

and i feel like THAT is the angle the show should have taken. not "i am oppressed because i am not rich" but rather, "everyone at school alienates me and treats me different and it's making things so difficult for me." whenever people say that dan and jenny acted like they were more oppressed than they actually were i'm like. they were both, in different ways, made to feel small and insecure and hopeless, at school? like of COURSE they're gonna feel victimised. dan is treated like he doesn't exist, and jenny is treated so horribly that i don't even have an adjective. like. i think the writing of the show would've been much stronger if it had focused on THAT and not made it a class thing.

i haven't watched the reboot beyond ep02, so i'm not gonna comment on that.

so yeah, i don't think it was 'cosplaying poor' as much as it was 'showing wealth related stuff extremely inaccurately.' like an anon told me, portraying nyu as community college is super inaccurate, as well. and it makes no sense? like i don't know why they had to do this and why they couldn't just... shoot at a regular community college. gossip girl 2007 did not care for representing poor people at all, like, if you watch the show you can tell that it just luxuriates in this aesthetic of like: more food than anybody can eat at every meal. so many luxuries. unnecessarily expensive things everywhere. like the show was very much luxury porn. to me it felt like it wasn't cosplaying poor as much as it was offering people a chance to wank off to the rich. & maybe because of that, the humphreys weren't allowed to be poorer. gg 2007 wasn't supposed to represent all of NY, it was supposed to represent the uber rich elite. and then you have dan and jenny humphrey, and vanessa abrams. they weren't allowed to be rich, because we needed a class conflict. but they weren't allowed to be poor, either, because this show was all about rich people aesthetics. so we got something weird & in the middle instead.

people forget that chuck was canonically a billionnaire - like, that is a LOT of money. and he is dan & jenny's peer! sadly, i think solely because of THAT, a lot of the oppression the humphreys face... checks out. like chuck being shitty to both dan and jenny - he' has an unethical, absurd, uncomparable-to-whatever-the-humphreys-have amount of money. he can do whatever he wants & buy his way out of there. rufus humphrey's ten thousand dollars or whatever amount he mentions are like pocket change to that guy. if jenny is gonna be treated like a commodity by everyone around her, do her upper middle class roots and expensive loft really matter? well, not do they matter as much as like. can they protect her? (we've watched the show. we know the answer is no.)

re: the characters of colour... i think it's subjective. i ADORE raina, and honestly, if we'd had a NJBC that was nate, serena, blair & raina, the show would've actually been AMAZING. like raina was such a cool character to me - i liked that she was driven, passionate, intelligent, sensitive, caring, fun-loving, thoughtful.... she wasn't on the show for long, but her character felt really solid and fleshed out. i remember a review (idk who wrote this one) in which someone felt that raina's character was "lazy" because a lot of her traits and her backstory paralleled chuck, but i strongly disagree. on raina, those traits were interesting. on chuck, any backstory and larger motive felt like a carpet to cover the dust that was his predatory nature, and to me, felt forced and off. like. this dude assaulted people, i don't care about his daddy issues. but raina seemed SO amazing. her backstory actually fit her personality and gave her depth, and to me, didn't feel forced.

i liked ursula, too! she was a really minor character, but she had a whole arc, and i liked that a LOT. her friendship with serena was very cute! i sadly do not remember jane. i think she was... someone's assistant? but i don't remember who. but i agree with you about raina and ursula, their arcs were very interesting and did not end up being about racial trauma & all that, which, like you said, is refreshing when done right.

that said, i think blair's minions were, uh, an example of blair's racism, and i think it would've been cool if the show unpacked that. blair uses her minions as a status symbol - her 17th birthday at kati's place which is anime themed (?) leaves a bad taste in my mouth because it feels very tokenising of a culture that blair isn't a part of? it would be different if blair treated her minions with respect and dignity and like they were her equals and peers, but she doesn't. the word "minions" itself makes me flinch because it's such a "oh you're inferior" kind of word. it felt to me very much like - they never got to be characters in their own right. they solely existed to prop up blair. and i think that is racist. there was a sense of "Oh, I can't be racist! I have a Black friend and an Asian friend" from Blair - like that's what kati & is were to her. and i think that is a big problem, especially glossed over like that.

i also do think that racial stuff doesn't always need to be the focus! but i don't think it can ever be completely ignored, either. an example of something that is maybe unintentionally racist, but racist nonetheless, is how dan cuts vanessa out of his life entirely but forgives his white friends for treating him farrrr worse. it's an inherent double standard, because dan kind of went "oh yeah. my threshold for white people fucking me over is really high, but if my Black best friend who's so close we're practically family does something even slightly wrong i'm going to cut her out of my life 4ever." did the writers realise this? i don't know. maybe they just didn't think about it. but this is exactly the sort of double standards and racist bullshit that woc, especially Black women, have to face irl (though of course i don't need to tell you that at all), except here, the narrative doesn't even address that, hey, maybe dan's being a dick by reacting this way. and i think that's a problem, too.

when/how did you realize beatles music was amazing and something you couldn't live without?

I'm trying to not start off every answer with "OOF" but you people do keep sending me loaded questions lol. That's fine though, I enjoy it, keep it coming! My close attachment to the bug boys (both their music and them) is new. It more or less started at the beginnng of May of this year.

I've always known about them and known a good handful of songs. We sang Yellow Submarine and Hello Goodbye in school, I have memories of playing Beatles Rockband once at my cousin's house and also the Love album used to be relatively regular car music for my family. Also, I was in class with someone who was obsessed with their music and sometimes she'd be playing songs. My opinion on the music for most of my life has been kind of… middling. There were songs I really liked or loved (like Help! or Eleanor Rigby) songs I thought were fine but didn't take much note of (something like Being For The Benefit of Mr Kite) and ones I just really didn't get the hype for (A Hard Day's Night comes to mind [I love it now]). But I have a sort of kneejerk sceptic reaction to people hyping stuff up for no discernible reason sometimes, and so the more I'd hear older people with little knowledge of music theory and history call them the be-all end-all of music, the more I sort of developed a kind of aversion to them. I just hate being told to respect and/or like things without knowing why, y'know?

PSA to older Beatles fans: you will NOT convince younger people to listen to your music by telling them their music taste sucks actually.

On the other hand, I had also sort of gotten the idea I should maybe go through their entire discography and get behind the myth of it all. I sort of attempted this a few times over the years, like I started listening to Sgt. Pepper once and then for some reason had to stop halfway, and I listened to the This Is The Beatles playlist on spotify a few nights in a row in 2019 lol.

What actually made me commit to doing it was 1) I had seen a LOT of backlash against Taylor for breaking the Beatles' records for 3 number one albums within the least amount of time in the UK last April, and like the sheer stupidity of some of the arguments being made why "Actually She Didn't Break This Record" really set me off (for example talking about it being "more effort" to buy an album back in the day… But the Beatles weren't competing for number one against anyone who had it "easier" to sell their albums and Taylor wasn't competing against anyone who had it "harder" than her. Or talking about absolute pure sales numbers when that's not what going number one means?) and 2) in a Discord I was in, someone shared a link to an 8-Bit version of Sgt. Pepper at the beginning of May, which I decided to listen to cause it seemed like good study music and I rather enjoyed! I found it really let their talent for creating good melodies shine through.

WHY DO I KEEP COMPLETELY EXPOSING MYSELF IN MINIATURE ESSAYS WHEN ASKED STRAIGHTFORWARD QUESTIONS

Anyways, so all of that made me go okay! I'm gonna go through this motherfucking huge discography then I will know this music better than a LOT of the people who hype it up and then I will be able to be objective about all of this.

So I listened to Sgt. Pepper and Please Please Me and then the White Album. The first was enjoyable but I didn't really ~get the immense hype, Please Please Me bored me at first (I think their early style is something you kind of need to get into and need to hear a few times to fully appreciate. But also Love Me Do sucks and why a record label thought it would be a good debut single is absolutely BEYOND ME) and the last one REALLY caught me off guard. There was stuff in there I loved (Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da is actually possibly my very first favourite song that wasn't a kids' song. I used to have to go to these psychomotor education classes and that song played there often and I adored it. Also Piggies slaps, send tweet) but also like a lot of stuff I found pretty weird and off-putting. And I still haven't warmed up to Yer Blues and Why Don't We Do It In The Road. That album did, however, get me very interested in the band. I think the weirdness of the album really just invited me to look into their history. I wanted to understand why they had broken up. That sent me down the rabbithole of the India trip history and I just kept reading more and more wikipedia articles related to all of it.

It was around this point I sort of came to realize that I'd had a lot of wrong preconceived notions about them, especially John. I was never someone like roaming around twitter, yelling for him to be cancelled, but he had simply never seemed sympathetic to me. For instance, IDK if I misunderstood what someone told me or if that person had misunderstood, but the story of John learning chords with Paul left-handed to follow him better (and maybe also Stuart not letting Paul change around the strings on his bass) had somehow been morphed into John finding Paul's left-handed playing off-putting and forcing Paul to play right-handed?? And I was like "Wow, what an asshole!" Also all the 1970 narrative that the two didn't like each other, plus I projected boomers' and gen-xers' Beatle snobism onto them and just got the impression they were pretentious narcissists. (I mean they were kind of that, but not to the extent or in the same way I imagined)

So I think learning these things opened me up to them more. Like I realized Hey! They were my age! And then at some point I found out about the Christmas albums and thought that was so fascinating, that that existed, (a huge part of my initial interest was my fascination with the marketing around them, which is why I watched AHDN and Help! super early on) so I listened to those and was like "Fuck! These guys are endearing!" and then I remember lurking on bug-tumblr and seeing that "Well that was very observant of them, because we aren't American actually" quote and I wanted to find the video of it and ended up finding this legendary video. And starting to actually like these guys and realizing they took all of this ten times less seriously than their Boomer fans do made me more excited to keep listening to the discography and look up more of the stories behind the songs and just kind of… Come to understand them better. I also found that once I accepted that some Boomers are just gonna hype up their fave music too much I'd enjoy it more. Like I'd listen to I Want To Hold Your Hand and get a bit defensive like "why do you love this so much??? the lyrics are so dumb??" but when I just kind of accepted that fact I realized no! It's an amazingly structured bop, which yes, has weak lyrics but it's fine!!! It's the Call Me Maybe of its day and that's NOT a bad thing!!

And in the end they have an amazingly versatile catalogue that covers most things you might be in the mood for. It is kind of hard (for me) not to like it.

There are still sort of two bands in my head: the archetype, the myth, the pretentious group of people who hate each other that I just sort of instinctively want to dislike and the band who sang all those songs I had NO IDEA existed and came into my life without any baggage or expectations from my part. I've pretty much never listened to say Hey Jude in the past months, even though I don't find it bad the outro is too fucking long because it's kind of got too much of that baggage to me still.

This was SUCH a ramble but I hope this makes sense to people to some extent. Anyways I'm a new fan, drag me, but maybe drag me more for how much I seem to know after three months. Seriously, this is a curse.

Season 3 notes popping off

due to my desire to not completely fail all my classes this year i made myself slow down significantly while listening to this season, and the fact that the other person i'm listening along with had to catch up. We've managed to convert several other people to start listening and its pretty great.

ep 81: what does it even mean to be chosen by one of them? And if he was chosen by the eye. we know Gertrude wasnt? Because she cut the eyes out of the magazines?

ep 82: elias lmao. I understand why people like him so much bahshdhdk i thought he was gonna snitch on Jon but he didnt so he's fine. Ok but how do we think he knew all that stuff. Idk probably just institute connections. I love the fact that the recorder just wants to record stuff randomly bjahsjdhd. Elias feels a lot like Michael in the sense that he knows more than he should and talks in a way that implies he just wants to wait and see how things play out for his own benefit. I understand him knowing the things that happened but his description of her emotions implies something paranormal. Maybe he's connected to one of the entities. Which one I cannot guess.

ep 83: did a file get delivered randomly to the place he's staying at? Probably elias lmao. He thinks the mannequin is related to the stranger. Idk I would believe it.

ep 84: worms? I know he says earth worms but idk. Again? Is she making gordon golems out of trash? Martin popping off. You can tell the statements get to him more that they get to Jon. How come martin is so mad about it? I want to assume he just doesnt want her to get stuck there but idk. Jude Perry. The calliope organ. Jon heard a circus in one of the last episodes

ep 89: he's talking to perry? Like jude Perry? He says ... God? Is that what it is? Lmao. The Desolation. Jon is tired of ppl being vague and not telling him stuff lmao. Oh God Jon is so confused. Compel her? Is she assuming he has some kind of power? Does he have powers? Hmm. im agreeing with jon here please jesus christ why does everyone have to be so cryptic. Just say what you mean. "maybe you get an itchy eye" bahasjkdfklsjdf girl what. Agnes saved her? Oh this is the girl from the cafe story? So theres the Cult of the Lightless Flame? They worship whatever entity this is? The Desolation? Why do they all seem like they sorta worship her then? Is Gretchen gonna die oh god. fuckin michael. a different michael aaah. i see. dont do it shes gonna burn you. sir. please. sir dont you dare do- WHAT DID I SAY what did you think was gonna happen hhh.

ep 90: try to make it less obvious you're trying to get fired big T. Elias that doesnt sound like the most healthy thing to do. oh dear is this gonna be triggering for me. uuuuuh. uuuuuuuuuh. doesnt seem like it ok gonna keep listening. Jared. hmmmmm. Ok we've seen Keay and hotner or whatever his name was.

ep 91: Michael Crew. Oh is this the lightning scar guy. Mister jon sir did you just die. No? God everyone is so fuckin cryptic. Say normal things please. They all just like to go on about pain and agony and j e s u s c h r i s t we get it you got hurted by whatever thing. So theyre avatars? question mark? Jude Perry is an avatar of The Desolation? hhhh fractals. thats a spiral thing innit. Yup. messing with your perceptions. God they all talk about feeding their god and feeding that which feeds them and. hh what does that meann. Leave big J. please. uh oh. is it daisy? how come he has the web lighter still? the tape recorder just turns on sometimes you know how it is. So he can compel people? not that he knows it obviously but. a bit wack. powers go brr i guess? If the eye just wants knowledge i guess he feeds it by getting the statements? b/c i doubt it wants him to murder ppl or whatever.

ep 92: elias you all knowing fuck what do you know. (i guess all given what i just said) Lukas. Heard of them before. Mordecai Lukas. Loneliness. The lonely even. Jonah Magnus. Elias ur sounding like a bit of a dickhead rn. lmao jon's just like "i dont care" elias what is ur deal. Why does he want to tie her in. ohh i see. lmao theyre all just like "elias why" The Unknowing lol seems very much like something the eye wouldnt like. lol elias is gettin all philosophical. what does it really mean to be human. this still doesnt answer why gertrude wanted to destroy the archives tho.

ep 93: bahsjdfh he seems so dead inside rip. awww admiral. i love him already. ghh breacon and hope. purple mold. doesnt sound like anything we've seen so far. I think the funniest explanation for breacon and hope is that they dont actually serve the stranger they just kinda happen to be a random neutral party that cart around random spooky entity related stuff. ooooh. when we hear the slight static of the tape recorder it's cuz he's compelling ppl.

ep 94: the end! listen man they were all just grayed up for 4/13.

ep 95: the end also? death but also savagery/ animalistic shit. aww martin. lmao becerra. she's just been chillin in the corner.

ep 96: return to sender. haha minecraft go brr. prediction: breacon and hope? yup there we go. jon why is there an echo. are you in a stairwell? is he gonna eat it- yup. how did i call it. unsure abt what theyre talking about but ok. they kidnapped someone? Sarah Baldwin. ooooh that guy.

ok im just putting this here so i have notes for when nicholas gets to this part. It seems like (from jon's conversation with jude perry) that the desolation and the eye are kinda at odds with eachother? like i guess not directly but it seems like they dont really vibe? so how could be with both. Cuz if he has the heat powers and shit then we know he's an avatar of the desolation. but then why does he have so much eye imagery. also he got burned intentionally? like jude did when she went on her monologue about the feeling of burning? but then why did he wear the eye pendant. it stops him from being burned all the way which seems like he's not fully accepting the fire or whatever.

Nooooo I lost like a bunch of my notes rip. I keep forgetting to save.

Ep 104: tim gives a coherent statement without jon even being there. Ugh. Fucking robert smirk. Dont like him. Joey. Dont recognize the name. The show must go on. Clown. The spooky circus?

ep 105: total war... shogun 2? jon is just understanding languages again. "if i understood mandarin or cantonese" are you sure you dont big man?

ep 106: havent we heard this one already? mans in space? oh no this is just another episode in space. fairchild... uuuh. cant remember. oh! this is related to that! this is one of the ppl from the other side. sounds like a Vast thing. oh he's the one that the dude saw? but that guy didnt have a face... she's sorta like jon. wanting to dismiss the statements. lmao i love the workplace gossip. ace jon for the win! oh cmon elias dont be a dick. sunny meadows or whatever. thats the place we heard about.

ep 107: oh great is it jude perry again. Third Degree. bahahsdkfj she was arrested. sorry but imagining this old british lady getting arrested is funny. she was trying to resurrect him. using the skin book. he's not feeling well. jon take a nap. i wonder if this is what happens when he uses his powers too much. He gets into The Zone when he reads statements lol. didn't we have a burning train car in anothre statement? is it julia fairchild? bahahahs "kidnapped. Again." poor jon honestly. julia... about her dad. daughter of the murder shed guy? hunting like your dad liked to hunt or normal people hunting. oh hunting vampires!

ep 108: melanie has been suffering. poor martin peter lukas why do you have to be like this. can he not just use the front door? does he have to bother the ppl doing statements?

ep 109: how come he cut her off? kinda rude tbh. its either jon's influence or there was smth he didnt want her saying. is it gerard on the table? this sounds kinda like smth from one of the university episodes. is it the closed eye on the hand? yup. he's like one of the students! if the thing listening in is elias then... he can do that without the tape recorder yknow. plus who's to say it wont just turn itself on again

110: who wants to bet its a leitner?

111: Lukas related to The Lonely. I used to not like Gerard that much but i like him more now. but i thought there were 15? ohhh thats right isnt flesh newer? gerry for the win honestly. finally telling jon things.

112: lol "again" no one ever tells any of these ppl anything. tim and basira are just out of the loop constantly. music, like the war episodes. The hunt or the slaughter? probably the hunt. so Daisy is related to the hunt right? basira likes the reading, she's doing fine at the institute. daisy's getting worried...

113: it just turned on randomly. what is it lol. explossives! oh boy. why do they always assume he turned it on intentionally. melanie youre not making me like you that much. which entity is this about i cant tell. lol he was disappointed it was just the end. The title Breathing Room made me think it was gonna be about the buried but i guess not. So many of these entities deal with death but the end is one that deals in just death. it has no need for fancy deaths, just death is enough

114: more hilltop road statements? the tree. oh boy. ok the tree has 8 arms obviously theres the spider parallels. was she taken into an alternate universe? oh no. jon tries to phrase things so he's not asking questions. thats honestly good. "sometimes i was kidnapped" oh dear. they got gertrude. daisy ur so odd lmao. who wants to bet they dont know the tape recorder's running?

115: silaca? or whatever? antique man? meat grinder... related to the meat is meat episode? oh wow. they buy antiques from him. maybe dont antagonize this creature which can kill you?

116: lol theyre all just so done with elias. music? is it like the one band that if you hear them you die or wtvr. oh its chess? i am very much confused. mmm stranger go brr. gorilla skin? oh shit the dance. woah. this is so good. this is so gender. the words are wonderful. "you can just say tim" lmao trying to fool elias never feels like a good idea.

117: except elias lmaoo. oh shit. leitner getting some use for once idk. bruuh poor melanie she has been thru so much shit. martin you can just say youre worried about jon. lol he's so accurate in his jon impression. lol who was that. was that daisy? lmaoo. oop hi tim. oh god i hope tim doesnt die. i feel like i wouldve heard about that? but im not sure. destroying the source of knowledge is gonna be hard for jon. yay jon! you did a good thing. let him rest.

118: go off martin lmao. awww poor martin. oh god the tape gets that squealy quality and its awful.

119: woah. lots of things happening. uhh. POP OFF TIM!!

120: lmao elias giving a statement about jon's dreams lol. damn jon doesnt even get his own dreams? has to stay Watching even when he's asleep? f in the chat this man goes thru so much shit. oh boy its peter. lol martin my beloved. idk i dont trust peter.

ok but!!! what happened!!! im screaming!!! you finished the game but there are no details!!! friend i need details!!! who sided with who!!!! im just!!! so excited about ur playthru and i need any and all details about how u feel about anders rn especially!!! i think there was less different paths because funding but i still would like to Know

 SO!! MUCH!! HAPPENED!!

It was funny, cuz, y’know, in comparison to DA:O where the END OF THE WORLD is hanging above your head at all times, I felt the pacing was considerably more relaxed in 2. And in retrospect, it definitely was building up in ways you weren’t quite piecing together (Or am I dumb? That’s usually the case) as you aren’t even sure why you have the derogatory title from cassandras mouth of Champion. Champion, of fuckin what? I do chores for people.

So like most of the game feels like you’re chilling. Talk to some people, do some small quests, learn some lore.

Then like, the qunari attack happened. Which, I assume happens regardless, correct? Man that statue of me looks douchey as hell. Flaming sword?

ANDERS CAN SUCK SHIT. That fucker lied to me? and made everything OH SO MUCH FUKIN WORSE. Oh boohoo I want to rid justice, distract her so I can MURDER PEOPLE ACTUALLY INSTEAD?? Like, MAN, I really like him on paper, healer of the needy, activist, cat lover. But he is so warped in his thinking and self hate. Also I know I joked about this somewhere but our second conversation ever (first one being when I met him) he gives me a big speech about how he could see us together but how he’s so bad he’s a monster boohoo so i need to stay away from him romantically and I’m standing there like.......yeah ok man. 

I SHOULD HAVE KILLED HIM - I was legit SO mad he did that. Everything was bad as is, and he made it worse. If I hadn’t have helped in that quest would it still have happened? AUGH. Almost everyone wanted him dead but I still felt bad. Of the companions, I think i bonded with him and sebastian the least. I tried really hard to side with the mages, cuz, i’m a mage, i dont think magic is bad but bad people can have magic, and Meredith IS a dick and instigated it, BUT THERE IS SO FUCKING MUCH BLOOD MAGIC IN KIRKWALL, WHY.

AND FUCKIN SEBASTIAN - SO MAD - was like if you let him live i’m coming back with an army to attack. like...bro what happened to being a peaceful monk or whatever the shit? I thought I told you taking the crown wasn’t worth it if you don’t want it? fuckin jude law looking motherfucker. But i barely played with him and i figured anders healing would be useful for the end. so, i took anders with me. So now I guess I’m gonna hear in inquisition about this dude coming in to attack kirkwall later idk SIGH

So yeah, I tried to side with Orison. Then that bitch ass gave in to blood magic too and turned into that disgusting abomination. I HATE when you try to defend someone and they too turn into a jackass. Fuck you, man. And Meredith of course is off her rockers with red lyrium. I hate all of these people. I tried to save the decent mages where I could and that bit me in the ass with one of them at the end FUCK YOU, UNGRATEFUL.

A N Y W A Y S,

since I’m sooooooo good at these games (how am I so so so bad??) Hawke basically...lost everyone. I didn’t officially romance anyone. Though in the epilogue, it says everyone eventually splits from Hawke except Isabela. I figured she had a soft spot for me. I think I couldn’t fully romance her because I didn’t get her the boat? Idk. I didn’t like the romance system in this game. Like, yes it makes sense for story plot reasons but it’s terribly confusing for someone not in the know and I hated looking at guides because they had spoilers.

My mom got murdered by a serial killer blood mage, r.i.p. My sister is dead. I am SO surprised Carver sided with me in the end. I thought he was genuinely about to pick being a templar over me and fight. I TRIED TO BE SO NICE TO THAT FUCKER.

i’m surprised cullen sided with me too. the few interactions you have with him in origins and here he’s kind of a dick. and i know all that shit going on with his VA so i am not stoked for him in inquisition

I tried/failed to romance Fenris. Man, I got SO attached to him?? He tries so hard to be grumpy but you get under his skin. Every time he called me his friend or smiled I was like YES, YOU FUCKER, YOU LIKE ME. But being a mage is such a cockblock. FUCK. I’m definitely kissing him next time.  But I can at least brag that I guess I did his companion quest correctly enough and he was maxed out cuz he didn’t leave me. He seemed begruding that he was gonna defend mages but he was gonna do it for ME. BFFs til the end.

how the fuck did fenris turn around and settle for compromise while anders was still pissy as hell? I guess anders just feels so much for others. also the whole tranquil shit was sooo fucked. Also I love they’ve known each other for 6 years and they’re still disgustingly snippy with each other - FIGHT!!!!

MERRIL TRIED TO CONFESS FEELINGS FOR ME. HOW? I kept pissing her off by not supporting the blood mage shit. I HAD TO PULL THE LIKE A SISTER LINE. MERRIL IM SO SORRRRRRYYYYYYYYYYYY. She’s so sweet, yet her quest was incredibly fucked up oh my god?? We had to kill the dalish group and I FELT AWFUL. WHY SO MUCH BLOOD MAGIC????????

I thought this game was going to end with assigning a new viscount. ANd I was like man that sucks, Sid isn’t the type for permanent responsibility like that but like, if it’ll get everyone to shut the fuck up ok. But...that wasn’t the ending. I hope that gets addressed in inquisition? I felt like that kinda got cliffhanger’d. Also I’m assuming Aveline had to run too being she was associated with me so the guard is probably in shambles too.

oh my god what about dominic? D:

anyway, I would die for varric, and while I understand the story reasons for not letting him be romancable, it still sucks cuz he pairs SO well with a snarky Hawke, sigh

but yeah there may have been less big decisions but there certainly were a lot of smaller ones I felt I fucked up. I’m just.......so good at that. I got so many people KILLED.

def some replay value in there!! I tried to do a lot more sidequests in this one than origins. so we will see how inquisition goes. It’s been super hyped to me and I’m told it’s pretty long

Its just crazy all the shit hawke got caught up in without even particularly trying. Like the warden is there because, yeah, they’re a grey warden, one of the few, but in 2 its just kinda like..............oops lmfao.

1147

Have you ever overflown a bathtub? Hmm, I can’t remember ever doing that.

Why did you ignore the last person you ignored? My new manager, Kata, messaged me a bunch of links to EXO’s videos to get me into them – I looooove that she’s friendly and we vibe super well so I have a feeling will be close soon enough, but I’m still a bit shy so I ignored her for a bit while I was thinking of a reply haha. I’ve since gotten back to her, though.

What's your favorite pizza place? Yellow Cab’s pizzas have never failed me. Mama Lou’s is good too, but they don’t deliver to my area so I haven’t had their pizzas and any of their food in over a year now.

What was the last stupid thing someone talked you into believing? That we can stay friends. I believed it for a while and it was so mentally and emotionally deteriorating for me, so I did the right thing and let go instead.

What's at the top of your to do list in life? Save. I’m superrrrr frugal with my money and hate spoiling myself. I’d rather enjoy everything in the future once I feel like it’s right to settle down.

What's a song that would describe your life at the moment? What Type of X by Jessi. Maybe not my life, but the song certainly matches my mood these days.

Do you ever scream at inanimate objects? Occasionally, if they’re not working or if I accidentally hurt myself with them.

What was the last thing that you shared? I just had lunch delivered to Angela’s place as a surprise, if that counts. I got her chicken wings and these chocolate chip cookies she’s always wanted to try. It feels really nice surprising people with gifts; I might start making it a habit :) I have to credit my director Bea for it - she’s been having food delivered to mine and Kata’s places recently and I just want to pay it forward.

What smell/s can you absolutely not stand? Fruits. We constantly have a stock of oranges because my parents and sister like having them after dinner, and the smell is nauseating. Spoiled food is also high up on my list, and the general smell in Manila is also very foul. Go to other places in the Philippines if you’ll ever visit!!!

Do you ever eat leftover pizza cold? Yessssssssssssssss. Idk why but I find it really good? like even if I eat it straight out of the fridge.

Where are you the most ticklish? The sides of my stomach and around my neck.

Would you put your life in danger to rescue someone? Someone absolutely important to me, yes.

When you're wanting a midnight snack, what do you normally get? I usually don’t really like the snacks we have in our pantry so unless I already had food delivered earlier in the evening I just let the hunger fade because I don’t like having food delivered that late anyway.

Which cartoon character would you want to keep as a pet? Buster from Toy Story. Or Maximus from Tangled but in dog form, because I don’t know how to care for a horse.

What color best represents you? Something peaceful like off-white, or a pastel shade.

Do you like marshmallows? I hate them.

What is your favorite flavor of candy cane? I also don’t like candy canes, or candy in general. Too sweet and I can always feel how unhealthy they are whenever I have to have them.

Do you have any shoeboxes full of old photos/letters/other memorable stuff? My mom has several plastic bags filled with photographs over the last few decades. As for me, I don’t own any memory boxes; but recently, I’ve been sticking up notes from my friends and co-workers up on my corkboard.

Are you in any way double jointed? Nope.

Have you ever considered a career in music/acting? Never. I never liked singing in public and I’ve never considered acting.

When was the last time you felt seriously embarrassed? A few days ago when I accidentally turned my camera on during a work Zoom meeting while I looked completely unpresentable. Luckily I knew I clicked the button and immediately un-clicked it, but my video still showed up for like 0.001 seconds lol.

Have you ever liked a song, looked up the lyrics to it, then hated it? I don’t think I’ve gone so far as to hate it. I have felt slightly disturbed upon hearing the lyrics of some songs I’ve taken a liking to though; and Cherry Wine by Hozier certainly ticks off this box.

Which is worse for you: being hot, or being cold? Hot, which is why living where I do doesn’t work with me well for the most part.

What would be the icing on the cake for you this Christmas? Get nicer gifts for my loved ones. I was able to get everyone presents last Christmas, but given that I had just received my first-ever salary then, I wasn’t able to go all out as much as I would’ve liked. I’d love to spoil my loved ones even more for next Christmas.

If you had the opportunity to live forever, would you take it? Probably, as long as I was guaranteed to live comfortably. I’d love to see how else technology can continue to improve.

Have you made someone happy today? I hope so, when I got Angela food earlier.

Do you generally watch a lot of television? I do watch my favorite shows a lot, but not on television. Most of my content I already consume online.

If your bedroom walls could talk, what would they most likely say? They’d probably go over all the shit I had to go through and the ensuing breakdowns they’ve had to watch from me over the years.

What's your favorite Christmas song? It’s Beginning to Look A Lot Like Christmas, because it makes me feel festive.

Did you ever really believe in Santa Claus? Only for a brief moment when I was introduced to the concept, but kid-me never bought it because he never showed up.

Do you like the band Relient K? I’ve heard of the band name but I’m largely unfamiliar with them.

Have you ever seen a movie that was better than the book it was based on? Maybe, but for the most part I usually find the books to be better.

Do you like quesadillas? Yes, omg and with jalapeños and cheese *chef’s kiss*

Did you like the show Invader Zim? Nope.

Do you think tomorrow will be a good day? I feel like I’ll be sullen because it will be Sunday again, but I still plan on making the most out of it.

Do you ever talk to yourself? A lot.

Whose butt did you last slap? Idk, probably my ex.

Do you think that chivalry is dead? I don’t think so, but I also think it’s a bit outdated.

What's the greatest/most influential song you've ever heard? That’s a lot of pressure on a song... as much as I don’t really like The Beatles, I’d say Hey Jude has been pretty influential.

What's the weirdest thing you've seen in a grocery store? Not sure. If I had thought something I’ve seen was the weirdest thing ever, I would’ve taken a photo.

What is true love to you? Sacrifices.

Do you like chocolate milk? YES, lactose intolerance be damned.

Have you ever bought yourself a present on Christmas? Not yet. I hope to be able to this year!

Have you ever been on a mechanical bull? Nope, but I’d definitely get on one if I find one here.

Do you prefer to pull off band-aids slowly or quickly? Slowly. Actually, I prefer running water over it until it just slides off.

Have you made a mistake in the past week? I am constantly making tiny mistakes at work.

What was the last weird thing you said to someone? Idk, I feel like all the conversations I’ve had recently didn’t involve any inside jokes or general weirdness.

Have you ever met any bands/band members before? I got to work with one - Redd is the drummer for a local band but he’s since resigned to work with another company.

Have you ever sat on a copy machine and made copies of your butt? No. I’ve never even used a copy machine.

Are you a camera whore? Not at all, I hate posing for the camera.

Have you ever purposely dropped someone's toothbrush in a toilet? Never even considered it.

What kind of mood are you in right now? A little sad because it’s the weekend and I can’t even do my weekend coffee shop trips anymore because Covid cases are experiencing another surge (9000 cases a day!!!), protocols are everywhere again, and my parents already told me I can’t go out...those moments were my rare time alone where I can take walks and reflect and whatnot (and not to mention experieince air conditioning for a few hours), so it sucks to have to be stuck at home again. There’s not much to do at home to begin with, so now I’m just stuck in a cycle of taking surveys and finding videos to watch on YouTube.

What was the last thing someone told you that had you at a loss for words? I was ranting to Andi about how I started despising Diane from BoJack Horseman the moment she flipped out over Mr. Peanutbutter gifting her an entire library. I get where she’s coming from, of course, “understand people’s love language” and all that; but I felt like the very hostile reaction was super uncalled for and it reminded me a lot of my relationship with Gabie – I liked giving and giving, but it was either 1) never enough or 2) apparently the wrong way to show her love, and I was always the one punished for it in the end. I told Andi that because of my experience with her, I don’t even feel like giving a library (metaphorically speaking) to any future significant others anymore because of how hard I had it with her. 

Anyway, they gave me some advice about it and in the end they told me, “One day, someone will tell you, “Thank you for your library.’” It was very beautifully put and I struggled to find the words to reply.

What's something that always makes you smile, regardless of what’s going on? I’m not sure there is such a no-fail thing.

What was that last thing that you bought online? Food for Angela.

Do you enjoy riding around town looking at Christmas lights? Yeah, but the general mood for last year obviously wasn’t super festive and there weren’t as much lights, so it’s been a while since I’ve seen my village all decked out.

Is there someone that you're mean to for no good reason? No, that’s terrible.

What was the last thing you got out of the freezer? The coffee ice cream that I bought from Leigh yesterday! It’s crazy fucking good and I already feel a repeat order coming through.

Are you currently reading anything? No.

What's a good book you'd recommend? I don’t read anymore. I know child/teen-me would be very disappointed.

Gen 4.1 Planning

Libi: Okay, so my basic premise for who Libi is going to be at her core, WOO; I was thinking about how we said that she is Tess' second (lowkey third but I'll let you live gal) chance at 'getting it right' and raising a child well, which, OBVIOUSLY, she's never told or anything but there's an innate pressure in that that you'd know on some level, likewise her mum AND dad died so everyone would be quick with those comparisons always, this family and Liam's mum when that contact is made because her daughter died as well as; Then that made me think of the pressure Ro felt because you know, bad shit happened to Bea (Edie and Liam in this case) and then she got saved by McVickers and felt like she owed everyone to be great and do great things; so my vibe is that BUT COMING FROM A LESS SELFISH, WEIRD, PERFECTIONISM ANGLE soz not soz Ro, we know what you did; I see her being better behaved as she grows up, far more than her parents obviously but lowkey better behaved than any of the mcvickers or cali kids ever were because she thinks everyone deserves that, her not causing any more problems, but again UNLIKE Ro, she wouldn't be different to a degree of not fitting in because she'd make a massive effort to be there for everyone and every event, be likeable and get along with as much of the fam as possible, obviously some of that is natural charm but it's also putting in the time ahem Rosaline; like, she's a people pleaser, to a fault, and all she cares about is making everyone else, Tess, Fearghal, Ali, JJ etc etc, happy and making sure she's being what she thinks they want her to be/need her to be, and like that is what makes her happy because she is doing it out of love and respect not obligation but she doesn't know she's doing it, you know? Again, it's innate, how she is, but that's where the arc can come in, in realising that she goes with what makes everyone else happy, is who they need, but what does SHE want herself, and what does SHE need? A way I thought we could make this a Bobby/Libi storyline if we wanted (but we do not have to) is if she does have feelings for him, could be any point on his timeline gfs and kids wise whatever, but she lets him go and have whatever gf or do whatever thing because she's like that's what he wants he doesn't like me or want me like that etc, because she doesn't let herself want things selfishly or do anything just for herself Bobby: we should totally have them be together as little bubs because they are and it's like a running joke that they are gonna get together/get married like we've lowkey already said but more so but maybe the vibe is he is really shy how he is and lowkey it's like a my sister and me vibe where she does all the talking and socialising for him and like all their friends are joint friends Bobby: not in a creepy Ro and Ali way but Bobby: and we will let you outgrow that sir Libi: it makes sense because obviously we're learning sign language so simply Bobby can't communicate with most kids by himself, that's facts, and it's easier to have another kid help you than Jimmy always being there, or whoever he has helping him at school, you know Bobby: oh snap maybe I flip reverse what I said and Cammie's mum is the deaf one too and the vibe could be that like Libi pushes him to get some deaf friends as they become like tweens/teens so he can communicate himself so he does and does become more outgrowing that way but maybe he lowkey leans too hard into deaf culture for a while there and she feels like pushed out by it because it's something she can't be a part of Libi: ooh yeah, that makes a lot of sense Bobby: it adds something to Cammie's character as well being hearing but having two deaf parents so that's interesting Bobby: and also makes sense why JJ have to help them so much as well as them just being young Libi: right, there's a lot of shit Cammie would have to do from a young age if not for JJ lowkey 'cos it's just easier for a hearing kid than it is a deaf adult in this world Libi: her mum could maybe be more partial for ease but yes Bobby: and like it makes sense that Libi would push her feelings aside when those two grow closer/happen because she'd be like well they're both deaf that's something I can't give him and something I want him to have Libi: exactly, it'd feel really selfish to wreck that even if you didn't have all the ingrained shit she does around it Bobby: and obviously he actually wants to be with her as well but thinks she doesn't want that and before you now it there's baby Cammie so it's like well now I gotta try and make this work because don't wanna be a shit father like I had Libi: oh the drama of it all Libi: love it Libi: and we've not really got (that I can think of) a never mind I'll find someone like you type deal Libi: because usually it's like JUST SAY IT but it actually makes sense here to pine and long but let him go Libi: hence I'm here for it Libi: So, what I'm thinking right now is, that they're like never officially together, like it just keeps being an in-joke kinda vibe and like we're JUST best friends and then kind of like family, but obviously as they get into tween/teen years it's beyond a stage you can pretend you're just a kid playing at being girlfriend and boyfriend and as you said boo, that will coincide with JJ wedding and kids roughly so then it'd be more obvious like it's not going to happen seriously, then she can encourage him to get deaf friends etc, but I feel like he should only meet Cammie's mum just before or at uni (or whatever equivalent he's doing after school) so then it is quick and not like they were even mates before so it's less of a shock for all, you know? Bobby: I totally agree because I strongly pictured him being best man at the JJ wedding (soz Pete) and her being one of the bridesmaids and all the bants that go along with that and them both being SO 😳 Bobby: and yeah he could live the cliché that Jac was mocking and literally get with this girl freshers week I'd believe it Libi: Right? it then mirrors the Jameson/Cammie thing except they literally are just BFFs and there isn't anything going on Libi: there's actually weight to this but we're just like haha no don't be silly Bobby: and we've literally not done that trope with childhood boy girl best friends before really because baze are probably the closest but they were always so clearly in love and refusing to fight it so it's fun Libi: exactly, because unknowingly or otherwise, we're fighting against all the cliches and tropes that come with this family Libi: like I'm going to not do any of those things that caused drama for everyone and this is clearly too close to home, even though I don't think anyone would actually be that bothered, we've just really internalized and gone with it Bobby: like how nobody cares Jac is gay except Jac herself Libi: right Libi: but obviously she's good at keeping this all internal because no one can or is gonna clock it and be like, babe, it's okay Libi: like JJ might be a bit like oop, keeping it in the family but as long as you're both happy they really don't care, and same for mcvickers even if Tess is suspish of everyone that comes into any gal's life 'cos trauma lol Bobby: Bobby wasn't trying to make deaf culture happen for himself but Libi would have been so excited for him to get out there and do it that he would've been excited too and then it is literally like a new world opening up because who has he ever interacted with that's deaf before Bobby: didn't mean to lowkey leave you behind gal but Libi: it's kinda her own fault, not to blame you but clearly literally what we do like okay he's happy now mission accomplished Bobby: and maybe Cammie's mum is like the deaf equivalent of those gays who make it their whole identity so she's really selling it and so he also thinks okay this is who I should be with Libi: we know the vibe, like it's more excusable but still, I get you Libi: I see it Libi: a bit of a baby gay equivalent like go too hard and you're like I need to calm this down Libi: UNRELATED BUT Libi: think it will please you Libi: Jay is born 32 like Bobby, I'm pretty sure, and I thought Libi and her would also make for interesting content because Jay obviously feels she owes a lot to the fam for not being stuck with Chloe etc etc and the very little we did with her gave off a similar energy to me Libi: and she has her commitment issues in relationships because of her mum situation so they can bond over the shit that holds 'em back even though it's different stuff Bobby: and her relationship with Ava being her mum but also not being is something I feel like Libi can relate to because of how she was raised and the Rio and Buster-ness of it all because they wanted to raise her and obvs they wanted to raise Jay for a while there too Bobby: plus all the travelling she does is something that Libi could potentially join her in doing if she needs an escape so that's nice Libi: 100% it makes for a strong friendship there's a lot of parallels if not total similarities Libi: it makes a lot of sense, it's coming together baby Bobby: if you need to get away from seeing Bobby literally playing happy families, I can offer you that gal because I'm gonna have her go to uni/live in new york probably now that Nancy isn't because her face actually did live there idk if they still do or what but Bobby: we know the vibe is that she goes everywhere and can't settle so you'll have lots of chances to run away in a way that won't upset anyone Bobby: and when she gets her man and it works out we could totally coincide that because she can be like if I can do it so can you Libi: a mood a moment Bobby: all I know is Bobby is gonna be more chatty because neither Jimothy or Jesse are so I must but not to Jude levels of !!! Libi: a nice middleground Libi: which is kind of what I see for her honestly Libi: less in your face than 1. we were as a little bub 2. a lot of the fam but still sociable enough that it jives well with most of 'em Bobby: I'm so happy about all of this and honestly Cammie's mum being deaf makes so much sense in terms of what we were already thinking about her being more distant and working a lot Libi: if she doesn't give up the fight, she could be some kind of advocate vibe Libi: 'cos then Cammie can't even call her out really Libi: like soz this is important, maam your child Bobby: exactly what I was thinking we're in sync rn boo Libi: because it all makes sense, you gotta follow one thread and then the story shows itself tbh Libi: because tying in Astrid too, obviously that makes sense because she loses her mum too, and she'd ultimately be a really good influence because after Ro dies Astrid is kind of freed to do whatever she wants for herself Libi: and how much happier it makes her, how much she improves...well Libi: sips tea Bobby: I LOVE THIS Libi: and who else is taking the autistic girl that seriously and letting her teach you things Libi: love that for you Libi: she's living her best life and we can see that Bobby: she can be in their friend group, I'm happy Libi: ALSO, I feel as if she couldn't lie to Astrid Libi: because she says how she sees it bluntly and we're not going to feel comfortable fobbing her off because of that insistence, so that'll be good for you even when we're hiding it from everyone else Libi: everyone else you've just got to be vaguely like oh no no and it's dropped and like okay Bobby: we're gonna get to show so many different sides of Libi, I'm always here for that Bobby: and however far we go down the Astrid and her gf eating disorder rabbit hole, we''ll have Libi not treating her like a kid which is great Libi: yeah, there's loads we can do with the end of gen 4 for them all it's a mood Bobby: okay so what or who would you like to throw Libi at first Libi: that is the question Bobby: just so we know Bobby is going to Trinity and studying Business, Economics and Social Studies (B.E.S.S.) which is business, economics, political science and sociology basically so he can end up working at that advertising place with Jimothy after he has done this 4 years Bobby: Cammie's mum is there doing deaf studies which is also 4 years Libi: do we wanna do a rough timeline for these people mentioned here Libi: Jay born 32, we find out about her when she's 7 in 39 Libi: Bobby is born 32 and comes into the story 38 Libi: Libi is born 34, Edam die 35, we know this situation, is 4 soon to be 5 when she meets Bobby vias JJ Libi: Astrid is born 35 and Ro dies in 44 when Astrid is 9 Libi: JJ can get married 46, so Libi is 12 and Bobby is 14 Libi: doesn't have to be when we intro the deaf friends to the point of exclusion obvs but it's timed so we never have the 'real' relationship chat of it all obvs Libi: so Bobby would go to uni in 50-51 and Camie is born 51 start of 2nd year Libi: that gives us this good 4 year period before uni to play with, then obviously we know the vibe of when she's born and making that work etc Libi: Hmm, I think it would make the most sense to do a gap year then stay local, like that's the ideal Libi: because I really think she'd struggle being away from the fam Libi: but I'm kinda thinking maybe to be cruel she DOES go away because it seems like something the fam are like yay about Libi: 'cos she'd try really, really hard to stay but they should at least notice that and she can transfer for a reprieve Bobby: that's really nice actually Libi: she should do her first year in Liverpool, the rest at Trinity Libi: okay, so film studies, it was only 3 years in Liverpool but we're changing to trinity and you do years 1 and 2 (aka whilst Bobby is still there at least for year 1 but I need to check anyway) there and years 3 and 4 at Columbia uni in new york, aka where Jay is Libi: **remind me to check the times but we need to give him a solid bday and I'm changing hers up too Libi: this is just roughly Libi: but this way we can be cruel with it lol

so I was late to asking u things and I don't want u to have to repeat yourself so answer all the questions in the thing that you haven't already answered thank u 😌

the way I had to pull out my laptop to answer these bc I couldn’t keep them straight on my phone clipboard................ fdskjfsdkj I think I’m gonna put most of these under a read more so they don’t take up too much dash space. thank u!! <3

zinc white; how are you really feeling today? no one-word answers please!

honestly I’m great! it is currently almost 2 in the morning but my day was nice, I got some new clothes, did my laundry, made a good dinner...good vibes all around, loving it for me rn

yellow ochre; name an artist/band whom you just discovered & can’t get enough of!

I haven’t really listened to a lot of new music lately dkfjskj I think the most recent new artist I started listening to was orville peck?? but that was back in like february

naples yellow; where do you feel most at home?

uhh when I’m at home. yes I’m a homebody <3

raw sienna; with whom do you feel most at home? 

truly it’s with the thots I just feel so at ease

golden ochre; describe the relationship you have with your closest friend.

it’s just easy, u know? like no matter what we’re doing, even if we’re just vibing on our own together, it’s nice. I can tell them absolutely anything and it’s not weird and I don’t have to force it out at all

cadmium orange; what do you like to do on your days off?

ok first I always see if any of my friends are busy fkdjsfkj and if they aren’t I see if they wanna just chill or w/e but otherwise just like. turning some music up and sitting in my room with a book/a couple movies I love is ideal for me on a day off. I am very simple I just like to chill

orange lake; do you have anyone you can turn to when you’re sad?

yes! there are two whole people in this world that I spill absolutely everything to bc I trust them with my life and esp when I’m sad bc they always make me feel better. talking to them when I’m having A Day is like I vent and instantly I am normal again. they know who they are I’m sure but for transparency’s sake, it’s u (robin) and maya, no one else gets to unlock my tragic backstories <3

titans; do you prefer slow mornings or relaxing evenings? 

relaxing evenings!

shakhnazaryan red; are you currently binge-watching anything? 

actually I am currently rewatching cycles 1 through 22 of america’s next top model, I’m on like cycle 5 rn I think. having the time of my life, thanks for asking

red ochre; are you more right-brained (creative) or left-brained (analytical)?

I am very much more into creative endeavors, like work-wise, but I feel like the way I think about things is much more analytical. like I prefer Making things, writing or various crafts or what have u, but even when I create I think about the things I’m doing like analytically?? so ig left-brained

burnt sienna; is there a painting that brings you peace when you look at it? 

boy with squirrel by john singleton copley. I love him

english red; what animal do you relate to most?

interesting question! I have no idea. maybe birds? like a finch, maybe. they seem like they have fun

cadmium red; do you have a “type” when it comes to a significant other? 

this one is hard for me to answer bc like. I truly have no idea what a “type” is idk if that’s an ace thing or what. no? maybe? all the people I’ve had crushes on have been vastly different, in terms of like physical looks so probably not actually. I’m not attracted to muscular people tho bc I don’t think they have feelings <3

carmine; what does your ideal second date look like?

once again I have never pictured a date. I just want to hold hands! I think for the ideal first date question I said it just had to be going somewhere where we could Do things together, like walking around a museum or going through shops downtown or something, and that does still apply here, but for the sake of shaking it up, uhh...idk maybe staying in and watching a movie. like not at a theater no one needs to know my business like that but like. at a House. whoever’s, I’m not picky, again ideally I just want to hold hands.

madder lake red; would you ever kiss someone (or accept a kiss) on a first date?

yes. literally if the first thing u do is kiss me I am okay with it. I’m 23 someone just take the shot and kiss me already I’m going crazy over here

quinacridone rose; what’s something you’re really looking forward to? 

really looking forward to the holidays personally I got everyone some really good gifts this year and I can’t wait to hand them out. also my copy of 13 storeys is supposed to finally ship out this week, for real this time! so that’s exciting too

violet rose; what does your dream house look like? 

u know that idealized house with the yellow paint and the white trim? yes. just small and cute and homey

violet; is there any place in particular you’d like to settle down? 

I guess not?? I’d like to be somewhere near my mom bc she’s important to me but like. as long as I’m living with someone I love it doesn’t really matter where I don’t think

blue lake; what would you like to do/accomplish before you settle down?

uh. settling down to me equates to like falling in love and living together so honestly that could happen any time. I need to get a job before we live together so I can like Help Out but like. really any time

cobalt blue spectral; what is the most beautiful place you have ever been to?

I have not been to a lot of places! I’ve been to new york, and san diego, and like. phoenix outside of where I live so. actually if I can include like buildings in places I would like to say that one opera house I went to in new york. I learned I wasn’t a fan of operas BUT I also learned those chandeliers were cool as hell

ultramarine; when was the last time you were in a good mood? do you know/remember what sparked it?

I’m usually in a good mood, I think? my baseline mood is genuinely just like. happy/chill, pero I think the last time I felt Euphoria (tm) was a couple days ago when my mom and I made a really nice dinner together and my brother was there and we just played board games all night

blue; what’s the most recent dream you remember?

I have this recurring habit of waking up from dreams but only barely so when I fall back asleep it feels like I just woke up within the dream? anyway the last one was like that but in one of the times I ‘woke up’ I looked out the window and instead of outside there was like this. static photo of buffalo grazing in open fields?? and it was like green screened kinda, so when I move the image moved with my line of sight it was weird. that’s how I knew it was a dream and woke myself up again, only to immediately fall back asleep and feel like I was waking up from a dream within a dream again

bright blue; what does your dream family look like? any kids or pets? how many of each?

I think living with friends would be cool. like I want to have a significant other I live with but also if we lived with other friends that would be fun. kids, maybe! would be something I’d have to discuss with whatever partner I have in the future. if yes to kids, max two. also I don't want babies, preferably I would adopt older children. pets absolutely, however many doesn’t matter. I’m open to just living in a house with the love of my life and like twelve dogs, that’s ok with me

blue cobalt; do you like your name? would you give yourself a different name if you could?

I do like my name! I think it’s nice and it feels like it fits me. I don’t think I’d change it ever, but if I did I think maybe I’d go with jude bc yes I do love to project <3

prussian azure; what’s your favorite scent?

it’s a tie between suntan lotion and the lumber aisle of any hardware store

azure blue; what’s your favorite type of tea, if any?

vanilla rooibos tea supremacy!

turquoise blue; if you could start a garden, what would you plant?

lots of flowers, first of all. also some kitchen herbs. maybe some fruits!

cerulean blue; if you were guaranteed to have a viewership, would you start a youtube vlog?

yes <3 I want to force people to listen to my pretentious horror opinions and get paid for it

glauconite; describe your body without using any negative adjectives.

look I just have to say it: I’m hot. last night I took a photo and saw my nose from the side and went “omg who IS she” like it’s cute. I’M cute. I’ve seen my ass in the mirror and nothing can top it, sorry

yellow green; picture yourself walking in a field. what do you see & hear in this scenario?

all I’m getting is those scenes from horror movies where eerie whistling starts and like birds start going crazy

green light; are you in a comfortable place in life? if not, what do you think might make it better?

I think so?? I’d like to be more financially secure, pero. I think for the most part yeah I’m alright

green; name three countries you want to visit; do you have any actual plans in place to visit any of them?

ireland and greece for sure, ireland is the one I have most planned out in my head. ig maybe england for the third one, just bc I know my mom wants to go and also I’m very bad at geography so I don’t know what counts as a country. I had to look all these up, I do want to visit them tho, genuinely! esp ireland

emerald green; do you speak any languages besides english? are there any additional languages you want to learn?

the one I’m most fluent in is spanish! and I’m still cracking along at russian, currently I can hold a conversation with like a 4 year old and we can understand each other, it’s pretty cool. I really wanna get into learning irish!! I have a few resources downloaded onto my phone I just haven’t gotten around to it yet

oxide of chromium; what’s your favorite book?

a little life <3 yes I hate it when things are sad just to be sad yes this is my favorite book I contain multitudes

mars brown; what’s a movie that always puts a smile on your face/makes you laugh?

the burbs! I’ve seen it so many times but it always hits

burnt umber; what’s something you plan to do before the day is over to take care of yourself?

the day IS over it’s like two thirty am now but uh. drink some water before I sleep probably

voronezhskaya black; what or who is your go-to outlet for when you need to vent?

I post the “kirby’s fucking pissed” meme on twitter and then I ask u (robin) if I can yell for like five minutes and then I feel valid and then I am normal again

payne’s gray; describe your aesthetic?

it’s a little bit jock and it’s a little bit 1980s skater boy but the best way I can really Describe it is just “gay”

👫 viktor lana :D

send a 👫 and I’ll write four headcanons i have about our muses’ relationship.

he he he he (me doing an evil little laugh tht daunts n unnerves everyone around me)..... i knew u would send this i already thought of this hc in advance when i rb’d the post. ahem. i will begin. tht time they went motel hopping n wreaking havoc bc they were both suspended from radcliffe i imagine one night a motel they got to was booked full n they’d got there rly late so they were jst like fk it let’s sleep in the car. viktor’s hearse. n if he happened to have fallen asleep first i feel like she wld have been like huh.............. he lks weirdly peaceful when he sleeps almost like he doesn’t wna bite the whole world into tiny little pieces fr once. she’d feel like she ws sighting a rare exotic bird in the wild like it ws some special privilege i think she’d smile to herself abt it like a loser. n lana is literally so physically affectionate she’s like a gross over excitable puppy so i cn imagine her wriggling up to him n carefully as possible plopping his arm over her as he slept. inspired by this image bt rly just.... in any form she’d tuck herself up w him n sleep tht way w the aim of somehow waking up first n moving before he realised she’d done it. idk if tht would have happened i wnt lie lana sleeps rly soundly when she’s cosy w ppl she likes so <3 mayb he ws disgusted by this when he woke up n saw it bt it’s ok <3 lana wld laugh it off n not care

i think i might hv mentioned this as a hc very briefly in a reply before bt???? i jst thought of it again now. i hv this idea in my head of a game lana wld play with viktor where she’d draw in biro on her thigh a grid fr noughts and crosses except she usually does like. stars and hearts or just a way more Lana version..... i cn imagine her making him play this w her when they were like. jst sat out on the beach in provincetown or in bed after 👀 except i think she wld let him choose what he drew for his turns. smthn to represent him. mayb she’d suggest a ram’s head like black phillip fr his sexy chaotic satanic goat aura n he’d be like ya sure i’ll draw a whole fking detailed ram’s head in this tiny square lana n she’d be like ugh ur talent ur mind jst ignoring the sarcasm n loving it instead. in a similar ball park i feel like she wld doodle things on his tattoos like a penis on his marble statue-esque one (if tht is actually canon i cnt remember if u said it was i won’t lie) n jst things like tht. rly all of these things r just an excuse to touch him n vice versa bt. the noughts n crosses game in particular is one she made up just fr him.

fr his bday i feel like lana wld give him a homemade coupon tht entitles him to an elaborately staged rouse where they entrap some loser man w a fake relationship / spat / whtever which involves her seducing him n viktor finding them n freaking out. like they hv before bt. maybe this one wld even involve sfx blood it wld be extreme n dramatic n scandalous. mayb lana wld at one point put in fake vampire teeth. it wld be ridiculous the guy wld be like what the fuck who are u people. he wld maybe get genuinely injured it wld be a lot. sometimes lana can b a bit immoral fr the drama of it all i feel like viktor brings out her most rogue side n honestly tht is sexy. bt anyway in addition to this she wld ask judes help n get him to do a drawing/piece of tatiana. she wld be nervous abt giving this to viktor bc obviously he doesn’t like talking abt / confronting vulnerable topics so i feel like she’d jst slip it into an envelope n leave it in his room as a silent gift from her n not be there to see his reaction or anything. i think she might not even sign her name she’d jst kiss a lipstick print onto the envelope n know he’d recognise who it was by the colour bc of tht time he said he’d know it anywhere. sighs n lks away...

ok so. fr the night where lana stole trent’s car keys n walked up to viktor at tht party n was basically like “hey wna steal a car w me :)” in not so many words.... this is hw i envision the night panning out. they went speeding. lana at various points was dangling way too much out of the window n holding her hands out bc she loves feeling the wind on her fingers when ppl drive fast. hair jst blasting everywhere truly no concern fr safety. viktor probably literally hd to haul her bk into the car by her ass at numerous points bc she almost flew out n died. she’d ask him to find an empty lot where they cld spin n skid around the place n keep being like AGAIN AGAIN CAN WE GO AGAIN like a giddy child requesting another go on the swings. after all tht fun i feel like she wld hv been like lets drive out somewhere quiet n they’d end up like. at some kind of lake in the woods. mayb they get out there idk bt after all the thrill/novelty wore off a bit i feel like trent’s car wld mke lana sad bc she has bad memories associated with it / him in general n she’d jst impulsively hit the bonnet n try to snap the windscreen wipers n struggle doing it bc she doesn’t hv the arm strength so she’d jst be like ERGH!!!!!!!!!! n try to kick the car after giving up n it wld be rly hard n hurt her foot n she’d b swearing like FK this car it’s so UGLY......... jst the worst tantrum bc her heart’s never Rly in it when she’s angry it’s always just very clear she’s sad n trying to make tht sadness seem braver. mayb his way of calming her dwn in this situation wld b like. let’s sink the fker <3 n lana is silent fr a bit before being like. sniffs. ok :) bt she’ll only do it if they’re in the car n drive it into the lake bc she wants to see all of trent’s shitty cds get wet n ruined frm the inside. anyway. it happens. they hv to climb out of the lake sopping wet n walk bk all tht way. is it cold? idk. this ws all a hideous idea bt that’s on brand. i won’t lie she’d maybe silently hold his hand on the walk bk fr a little while n if he commented on it be like ummmm if we don’t work together to preserve body heat we Lit Rally might get hypothermia viktor don’t b a BABY abt it i’m saving ur life if anything u shd thank me i dnt even wna hold ur big sexy hand i’m jst playing paramedic... bt in reality who r we kidding. she’d jst wna hold his hand. she’s sick <3

not sure if you were around back in the day but i'll shoot -- bbc sherlock?

oh lord this is gonna bring back memories i’m so sorry everyone feel free to oppress me JFAJSDF

my all-time ultimate fave character: moriarty was fun he had rights. at the TIME i would’ve said sherlock

a character I didn’t used to like but now do: none fjasdjfasdf

a character I used to like but now don’t: like all of them it’s been a long time since i’ve been into this but idk that i’d say i DISLIKE it i’m just more neutral now ig??? 

a character I’m indifferent about: see above!

a character who deserved better: okay i don’t go here anymore but i did watch the last season bc at that point it’d been too long and i couldn’t not see that disaster & like. everyone. everyone deserved better. 

a ship I’ve never been able to get into: i never understood sherlock/irene like fadasdf just did not care frankly

a ship I’ve never been able to get over: dont have one tbh fasdfasdf tho i dont rlly care much for bbc anymore i DO still like holmes/watson from like. the books/granada/unfortunately the guy ritchie films (please oppress me for that) so they count.

a cute, low-key ship: dont think i ever had one!

an unpopular ship but I still enjoyed it: didn’t really have that many ships for it other than j//ohnlock

a ship that was totally wrong and never should have happened: i dont really remember actively hating any of em? i didnt like what they did to mary tho

my favorite storyline/moment: at the time i really went bananas over that reichenbach phone call moment. however what DOES remain legendary is everything moriarty does

a storyline that never should have been written: oh boy. so much. mostly the last season like itfajsdfkjl;dfsj WHAT happened there genuinely what went on i think i blocked most of it out

my first thoughts on the show: fjasfdasd i got into it bc i was really into holmes/watson (thank u jude law) & there was barely any content for it at the time and then bbc sherlock came out and everyone in my holmes/watson circles was talking about it and so i was like oh COOL modern retelling? more content??? which then made me get a tumblr. incredible. 

my thoughts now: HOO BOY. i feel like. hm. theres a lot wrong w it writing wise and obviously we all know how deeply embarrassing a lot of the fandom got back in the day though i’m sure it’s probably improved by now. i feel like theres some good stuff about the first season? idk i’m very neutral on it now tbh. but i do love sherlock holmes like, as a whole, and it IS what got me on tumblr so i’m grateful to it. i just wish the writing had been better/more diverse you know? but people that still like it r valid imo like what you like and have fun with it! 

send me a tv series and i’ll tell you…

The fosters 😏

Ohhhhhh my godddddddd I’m gonna diiiiiie. Ok let the memories resurface, this may take a minute.

my all-time ultimate fave character:

Stef. I just really liked her arcs, how straight forward she is, etc. Classic ISTJ tbh... cautious, reserved, protective, methodical, quietly affectionate. Like at the end of the day, I think she’s my fave. The kids go through so much ups and downs and Dumbass Moments that none of them can be my fave, and Lena is a close second but the writers only gave her one strong arc, and that’s when she tried to have a baby and that was so painful.

For several seasons I used to say my fave was Mike because he was Prime Dad Material. Like in the very first episode, he comes off as this douchey, entitled, deadbeat asshole who oversteps boundaries, right? Classic switcheroo. You find out this man is a saint, this man oozes emotional sensitivity and communication and affection, this man is also a dilf with eyelashes longer than should be legal. When he fostered AJ (I’m crying right now). Getting Ana through rehab??? Fighting his own alcohol addiction and not breaking once. Like the only time he ever let me down was his reaction to Dani MOLESTING Brandon, but he realized like whoa wait a minute... Brandon’s been taken advantage of and if Brandon were a girl he would see it different... Like all of Mike’s mistakes were temporary mistakes, he recovered quick and tried to do the right thing. If only his son was as quick on the uptake 😒

a character I didn’t used to like but now do:

Brandon. It took five seasons for me to like Brandon. You know how many seasons this show had? Five. And it’s because he’s pulled through the ringer of Suffering™ and it’s almost ALL his fault so that by the end when he’s doing the right thing again and again for the first time ever... and meets that super sweet girl... and then she DIES 

a character I used to like but now don’t:

Jude. He was such an intuitive, intense child, with wisdom earned from awful trauma, and watching him slowly assert himself was a wonder to watch. I do think the writers got lost with him, because his second love interest was a bore, his pothead thing was awful to watch, and when he became a twitch streamer with Taylor—WHAAACK. By the time of Good Trouble (which takes place years after The Fosters, so Jude is a sophomore/junior in college) Jude is drinking a LOT, partying a LOT, and fucking!!! a LOT!! Makes me concerned. Idk, it just felt like he lost his intuition halfway through the show and kept doing dumb stuff.

a character I’m indifferent about:

Every ex of the family lmao, idr them and I was not too fired up about any of them except maybe Emma. Like all of Jesus’ and Brandon’s exes I can’t remember.

a character who deserved better:

I’m just gonna make a list

AJ. Literally just him and Mike are just the cutest because of how earnestly the actor plays AJ, you know I love found family tropes and stuff.

 Mat. Such a sweetheart, the most accommodating and supportive boyfriend. So talented. Gorgeous hair. Mariana didn’t deserve him.

Cole. This boy fought SO HARD to be recognized for his gender, organized an LGBTQA prom for all his classmates who were rejected from their school’s prom, had to get hormones off the black market, and was so intuitive and loyal... honestly I loved Cole.

Aaron. SUCH a confusing end. Out of all the love interests, he and Callie popped with the most chemistry. The shared quest, the rides on the motorcycle, pictures at the beach, his great college advice. Their fight at her prom was so left-field and upsetting, and we know it’s because they wanted Callie to be single when the series ended so she could be free to date in Good Trouble. If I’m not mistaken, theirs is the first trans/cis relationship portrayed on network television... ever? And I mean a relationship, not a hook up.

Wyatt. Another sweetheart, what happened between him and Callie wasn’t really about him, it was about her and it was definitely about legal issues, and she was right to set her boundaries, but ouch that hurt. Gorgeous hair.

Notice how most of this list either dated Callie or crushed on her lmao except for Mat. Also

Rita. The woman lives and breathes childcare and youth advocacy. Let her win.

DAPHNE KEENE. She had her daughter with her in the series finale but I haven’t heard mention of her yet in Good Trouble, she’d better have custody and a job salary over 70k for what this show put her through.

EMMA. This poor girl was practically torn in two between the twins, from Jesus’ messy/horny ass to Mariana’s bossy controlling ass. She should be president.

a ship I’ve never been able to get into:

Most of Jesus’ relationships. He’s a fuck up so all of them are basically waiting for a train wreck. His most healthy one was with Emma, who was too good for him, and the one with most chemistry was with Lexi, but she was messy af too so that wasn’t going to work.

a ship I’ve never been able to get over:

Jude/Connor. It sailed and sunk in two minutes. So apparently, Jude/Connor have the youngest LGBT kiss shown on television. This show really made history, huh. They were adorable, they literally struggled to be a couple (since Connor’s dad is homophobic) and then after being a couple for like 2 episodes, Connor’s dad walking in on them kissing and basically blowing up was so traumatizing for the kid that he moved in with his mom in LA to get away from him. They try to do the long distance thing but they're middle schoolers... and it’s their first relationship each... and both of them are just now figuring out that they’re gay. it doesn’t work out. Would love for Connor to come back in Good Trouble and try to woo Jude or something (cuz Jude...???? he’s just FUCKING... ALL the time. Like one second he’s the adorable 12-year-old you just want to shield from the world, and then it’s like TIME SKIP, he’s a college frat boy now and he fucks “straight” boys every weekend).

a cute, low-key ship:

Lol this show didn’t do low-key ships, everything was loud.

an unpopular ship but I still enjoyed it:

Stef/Lena; because they’re the main couple on the show and yet we as the audience forget that they’re even an option as an OTP. These two are marriage goals. They fight, they argue, they have conflicting viewpoints, but they always sit down and talk at the end of the day, and they pull it together because of their love for the kids and each other. I live for them, I seriously wanted them to adopt me. I’d cook for the family so they would be an ounce less stressed. They’re such great moms and they try SO hard to be there for the kids, who each come with truckloads of baggage and problems all befitting network TV teen drama protagonists.

a ship that was totally wrong and never should have happened:

BRALLIE. They’re SIBLINGSSSS AHHHH. “But they’re foster siblings” I DON’T CARE. This is not a damn Victorian novel, it’s gross. Maybe in season 1 it wasn’t as bad since Callie had zero intentions of staying with the Adams-Fosters family and was used to being bounced around in foster care, but after bonding with them all and truly believing they wanted her, season 2 onward Brallie disgusts me.

Mariana/Nick. Let’s talk about his actor for a second. Louis Hunter played a teenager in The Secret Circle back in 2011 (don’t @ me but I loved that show) and guess what, friends, he was TOO FUCKING OLD to play a teenager THEN. That opinion stands 7 years later. An absolute creep who traumatized Mariana, the girl had to go to THERAPY. She went to THERAPY because of him.

Lena/Monte. UGHHHHHHHHh this made me so mad. Monte was being so gross and inappropriate, like not only is Lena her employee/subordinate... but Lena is a WOMAN. She’s grown as hell and confident in her identity and has a whole ass wife (a WIFE) and a family to take care of, and here comes Monte with her weird ass flirtations and stuff. She could NEVER. Lena is a goddess and Monte but an ant crawling on the sidewalk outside her temple.

my favourite storyline/moment:

When Stef confronted her internalized homophobia and misogyny during his breast cancer scare and she cut her hair to symbolize her ownership of her femininity. That was POWERFUL. Stef actually had so many great emotional arcs throughout the show; losing her father (who never really “got” her “lesbianism”), her mother’s breast cancer scare, HER breast cancer scare, her fight to become a detective, maybe it’s Teri Polo but Stef is such a stand-up, rigid character with such a strong moral center that watching her trudge through emotional trauma every gd episode was riveting.

Jude’s selective mutism. I remember this out of nowhere, but Jude went mute?? And he had to see a therapist, who deduced his problem and attributed it to an anxiety disorder and advised the family not to stress him out or pressure him to talk, and he went like this for a couple episodes. Like this boy went through so much trauma that it took like one thing, one little thing, to make him shut down. And Callie like patiently waiting for him to speak, and then her seeing her rapist and the only person she wanted to talk to about it was her little brother and he still wouldn’t talk, he just sits there playing video games, and she sends him a message on Xbox Live saying ‘Please talk to me’ and he ignores it then she sends another message “I saw Liam today” and he just looks at her as tears are falling down her face and places his hand on her arm in support. I. CRIED. Even after that moment, like in the next episode he’s still mute and Callie reminds him again that he’s been so strong compared to her that he’s “due for a breakdown” and not to feel any pressure to talk before he’s ready, and they fucking plant flowers together for Lena (I’m covering my mouth with one hand to keep from crying, I’m getting old feels. Remember when we used to say ‘feels’?). Ok I’m done.

Ok the storyline where Brandon is caught cheating for people on the SATs and won’t be able to go to Juilliard was POWERFUL. I loved that Brandon and Lena had a lot of bonding moments, and Lena was honest with Brandon in a way no one else was, she was like these are the consequences of your actions. You had decisions to make and you made the bad decisions every time, and now you’re here. Remember when you selling fake IDs for that dealer ended with your hand getting smashed so you can’t play classical music any more? Did you learn from that? Clearly not. POWERFUL. Lena scalped me on that day.

a storyline that never should have been written:

Most of Brandon’s storylines lmao. Him selling the fake IDs, him taking SATs for other students, him dating that 21+ woman with a kid and deciding he has to drop out of school and get a full time job to take care of her??? I love how Stef had to pull him aside and tell him “You’re Captain Save-A-Ho! And I know this because you got your Save-A-Ho gene from me!!” Brandon was MESSY. Despite being the typically “boring” of the kids in that he didn’t party or drink, he had interest in typical teen stuff, he was also impulsive in the worst way with his relationships and would get tunnel vision. Remember when Stef and Lena had to pull a restraining on Brandon for Callie??? My godddddd, a MESS. We’re not going to talk about how he finally fell in love with the right girl and she fucking dies.

BRALLIE. That bit where Callie didn’t think she was getting adopted so she FUCKS BRANDON, I’M NOT OVER IT. AHHHH.

Jude becoming a pothead. It was really dumb. I’d have been happier if the focus was on his anxiety and how it helped him.

Everything Monte related.

The time Jude downloaded Grindr and met up with a guy in his motel room?? And the guy was a grown man?? And of course he freaks out because Jude is a kid and tells him to gtfo??? That made me SOOOOO uncomfortable, which is why I hated it. BUT, I liked how the moms handled it, because obviously he’s a boy who’s curious and he’s surrounded by other kids—especially his four siblings with their tumultuous whirlwind of relationships—who are constantly making out with this person and hooking up with that person, and because he’s gay... and has this limited dating pool... and his first love moved to another fucking city to escape his homophobic dad... how does he get to explore his sexuality? who does he get to kiss at a party? This was so relatable, so many lgbtqa youth deal with this everyday, this sort of social pressure and FOMO as the cis straight kids around us are hitting all these romantic and sexual milestones while we’re sitting on an island. And obviously Stef and Lena sympathize, but then empathize how incredibly dangerous it was because Jude could’ve gotten hurt, there are guys out there who could do terrible things to him and he has to think these things through, not to mention the guy in question could’ve been just a normal dude trying to get it on and that he was put in danger—and this was the same season that explores how Jesus and Mariana’s birth father ended up on the sex offenders’ registry. It was handled well but remembering this storyline gives me anxiety.

The Jack storyline. I forgot this kid’s name and what happened to him so I had to peruse the wiki and I fell down a rabbit hole. Basically, this is a kid who was in a privatized group home, during a season in which Callie does volunteer work with a woman, Justina Marks, who is trying to pass a bill to reform child social services—only to discover that she wants to privatized the foster system to make money off of them, which of course makes Callie like do a BUNCH of risky stupid shit to take her down. So Jack gets temporarily moved into the Adams-Fosters home, proving to be a very quirky, quiet, sensitive boy, he kisses Jude after Jude’s breakup with Connor? Then reveals he’s not actually gay, he just wanted Jude to be happy? And it’s really fucking sad because he has this bleeding heart and this need to make everyone around him happy because he sees himself as this burden. Then he gets placed into a new foster home, despite Stef and Lena wanting to keep him around... and he gets put in the same foster home with the same man who abused Jude in the show’s pilot—and like the inciting incident for the show itself (Callie destroying his car to distract him from beating her brother > her going to juvie > her getting beat up in juvie > Lena seeing this poor bruised up girl and thinking “she’s my daughter now”). So Jack ends up being fostered by the horrible, abusive man who should never have been allowed to be within feet of a child again, and Stef just so happens to be one of the officers nearby when a domestic disturbance is called in, and when she arrives at the house with her partner she’s like “bruh I know this house” and when she goes into the kitchen she steps on something: a pair of glasses. Whose glasses???

JACK’S. And she quietly lays a sheet over his dead body. His foster father, who’d already been arrested once for beating Jude, shot him in a drunken rage. And CALLIE LATER FINDS OUT JuSTINA MARKS SET IT UP TO USE AS HER FACE CASE IN SUPPORT OF HER BILL.

my first thoughts on the show:

Literally the first time I heard the theme song when I randomly decided to watch it on Netflix in like 2014 (2015? I can’t remember, I don’t think season 3 was out at that point so it might’ve been 2014) I was like oh this is going to be the crying show.

my thoughts now:

I was right. I would not rewatch this show lmao, but I’m fond of it. I did randomly decide to start watching Good Trouble and surprisingly I like it and I missed the characters. I can look back and appreciate how this show handled a lot of tender topics as tastefully as they could, and examine them from a lot of different angles.

Ask me about a tv show/movie/franchise/book!

Thoughts on QoN

I started reading The Queen of Nothing on 19 November, 2019, and finished it about fifteen minutes ago on 23 November, 2019. Much as I did with The Wicked King, here are my thoughts while reading.

Spoilers, of course, are under the cut

- Oak is EIGHT??? I’ve been writing him like a three year old this whole time lol whoops sorry Oak

- Idk how to feel about this whole Vivi/Heather thing it smells like manipulation to me

- Lmao Jude’s a freelancer gotta love it

- I have now named my Goblin Brain Grima Mog how dope is that name fr

- Jude is an adrenaline addict and that’s a fact

- “It feels good to be fighting someone other than myself” SWEETIE CARDAN LOVES YOU

- Oooooooh I like Grima Mog I have a feeling she and Jude are going to cross paths again, maybe in Faeire

- (Also not surprised by Grima’s prediction of Cardan being dethroned soon that boy hates his job more than retail workers during the holidays)

- Oh look, three books in and Jude is finally admitting her feelings for Cardan

- I love the juxtaposition between Taryn in her pretty dress and Jude literally being two steps from death and not seeming to care lol

- Hmmmm okay I want to believe that Taryn killed Locke but couldn’t this just be a way to get Jude back into Faerie??? Idk why they would want that but I don’t trust Taryn 

- (Also I hope Locke is dead it would be Taryn’s one redeeming quality)

- ooooooohhhhhh shit Taryn’s PREGNANT AASHHSJSDKJDKSSKLDSJDJSJ HAHAHHAHAH this is too good oh no

- There’s literally zero chance of this plan of Jude pretending to be Taryn is going to go well. Or even close to well

- “Squeeze hug” awww that’s gonna be in a fic I promise

- This feels like The Parent Trap

- I’m sweating

- ITS CAAAAAAARDAAAAAAAN 

- Oh and his tail is out wow good for him

- Fuck a duck I love his tail

- And gold eyeliner, stellar cosmetic choice if I may say so

- Yep I knew it see here she goes off to his chambers he’s gonna find out eeeeekkkkk

- He knowsssssss he been knew of COURSE he been knew how could I be so stupid to think he didn’t know it was Jude this whole time I’m a clown and a fool

- Wow I’m kind of soft right now I love my babies and they clearly love each other but they’re being so ANGSTY AAAAAA

- “Wisdom is for the meek” uhh??? Madoc what are you talking about bud

- Ahhhh see now Jude is getting protective over her throne and crown, she’s blooming into a Queen....good shit for sure

- Also Jude better be the spy she was born to be now that she’s in Madoc’s camp and he thinks she’s Taryn

- Oh, she’s going foraging in the woods? By herself? Yeah, this is gonna go great, Oriana, really

- Yeah def can’t trust Grimsen although I love how Holly Black describes his work and how they’re beautiful but also deadly and cursed

- I’d like to hear more about how he tried to kill Cardan with that ruby earring and failed lol

- tHE GHOST??? What the hell is he doing here???? Am I the only one who just thought homeboy was dead?? Yikes lol

- Ugh Locke was such a Man good thing he’s rotting now

- “You’re scheming” “I’m always scheming” yeah ain’t that the truth bby

- uh oh MOMMY KNOWS heheheheheh

- Well no wonder Cardan turned out like this look at how he was raised, poor boy

- I mean, to be fair, look at Jude while you’re at it

- Oh hey it’s the Roach

- OH HEY ITS CARDAN

- Awwww Vivi went to Cardan because she thought Jude was in trouble and not only did he go to the Roach to go get Jude but he came too !! wow for people who can’t stand each other they make quite the gang 

- I love how inconvenienced Cardan seems by Locke’s death but not actually sad lol what a mood

- Breaking into Grimsen’s forge does NOT sound like a good idea no sir

- Ugh king and queen wow

- I cannot WAIT for Madoc to realize the Jude is the High Queen I cannot

- AYYYY MY GIRL GRIMA MOG what did I tell y’all, hmmm?

- Wow Madoc really just stabbed Jude like that and is going to leave her ??? the disrespect

- Ohh my god oh wow her blood is making flowers grow she’s a QUEEN wow look at that, you go bby

- Ah fuck Jude, you got set up by the bumb ass father you have

- ABAHAHAHAHHHAH this isn’t funny but Jude falling from the rafters onto the banquet table is on par with the beauty of Kaz and Wylan falling through the ceiling onto Van Eck’s dining room table heheheh

- @hollyblack can I breathe??? Shit girl

- Cardan said THATS MY WIFE 

- Wow Cardan washing Jude’s hands herself??? This boy is in loooove

- Oak and Jude’s maid playing Uno ????? Iconic

- “You’re generally terrifying” oh same Cardan

- So Jude really could have pardoned herself this whole time!!!!!! Come ON sis how didn’t you pick up on that WE picked up on it (don’t worry tho we know you’ve been stressed it’s okay you’re here now)

- And Cardan really expected her to pardon herself I have no words for this boy 

- Jude and Cardan’s relationship is so strange but at least it’s healthy now, you know?

- Look at Cardan being vulnerable and Jude not being mean to him for it 

- He’s being KIIIIIND WHAATTT

- “This is my room, and that’s my wife” AAHAHAHHAHH

- Cardan touches her hair oh my gooooooood i’m dying send help

- Can y’all tell I’ve been deprived lol

- Hahahahah Jude trashed Lady Asha, as she should 

- So I think I like QoN Cardan the most, although I did find Cardan in the first two books terribly entertaining to read about (Srry Jude)

- So Taryn seems to be behaving better than she did in the first two books, kind of being a badass, knowing the Ghost’s true name and all

Cardan likes hearing about slushy machines are you kiDDING ME????

- “Our marriage is an alliance” okay but you sleeping in his shirts isn’t, now, is it? Or how about him petting your hair? Or you thinking he looks cute in gold eyeliner?? lol Jude get real

- Aw I like this Fand/Jude freindship us girls gotta look out for each other

- Grima Mog more like Grima MOM lol

- “Big horns, little dude” LMAO HEATHER STOPP

- I’m enjoying Heather, I have to say

- Finally they kiss it only took TWO HUNDRED PAGES 

- oh guys they really like each other im soft

- Casual hand holding? yes 

- I can’t believe these are the same idiots who were trying to drown each other in the first book 

- look they’re trying to be vulnerable and without armor I’m gonna cry

- I feel quite uneasy about this Queen Suren girl who’s parents have her leashed somehow

- Oh wow fuck Grimsen am I right

- Oh SHIT Cardan really broke the crown like it didn’t mean shit to him...the development...the wisdom

- Cardan really said I want my WIFE and my PEOPLE 

- Oh wait fuck fuck fuck oh no stop wait

- Lmao Jude collapsing on the floor is literally me whenever I have to be in charge

- Okay there’s gotta be a way out of this, I didn’t mean it literally when I said Cardan was a snake

- Hey, Jude’s like, smart as shit, no?

- Hahahaha she basically said “Cardan is like, 90% of my impulse control”

- I love how Taryn is hyping Jude up throughout this while shitshow, I love how the two of them have developed past their book one probems

- The Bomb teasing Jude about the dust on her skirts made my day

- Look at Jude really having healthy realtionships with the women around her, I’m so proud of my little murder gir

- Nicassia better come in clutch here, I don’t trust Jarel or Nore not one bit

- Uhhh that story Heather told about the snake that wanted to marry the princess made me howl with laughter and I don’t think it was supposed to

- Vivi got Cardan a snowglobe that says “Congratulations on your promotion” for his coronation gift and he kept did DID EVERYONE HEAR ME I SAID VIVI-

- Oh damn Kaye alright no need for all that

- Ohhhh I had totally forgot about the dress in book one that Jude ordered but received a different one instead... Cardan sent it?? wild 

- Okay I hope Jude knows what she’s doing but when has she ever not

- The UNDERSEA HEEEEEELLL YEAH

- Oh look and Cardan!!!!!!! Yeah Jude knew what she was doing that’s my girl

- Awwww look at that hug wow the development these two have been through is unreal I’ll keep saying it 

- “I knew little else, but I always knew you” KILL ME

- Oh wow mortals and mingling more with the folk this is good

- Robert of Jersey lmaoooo

- So the Ghost and Taryn ??? Kind of funny but I’m kind of here for it

- I’m literally so close to tears and I’m not kidding they’re having a fucking WEDDING CELEBRATION in the MORTAL WORLD with a banner that says “Congrats Newlyweds” yeah I’m crying now thanks a lot Holly

- Cardan adjusts his paper crown in the microwave reflection so it’s skewed......I don’t think I can react any more I really afjsflsdk

-Wow that was better than anything I could have imagined, hoped for, dreamed of

- The character development, the plot, the resolution, EVERTHING was astounding I’m blown away

This was long as shit If you made it this far, I appreciate you lol. Now go read all three Folk of the Air books again. Go now