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applestoashes · 2 months

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An update on Apples to Ashes

Hi, it's Prima, the creator and sole developer of Apples to Ashes.

Wow, it's been two years since I conceptualized Douglas and the idea for a visual novel. I think about how much has changed for me personally since March 2022, the different things that have happened to and for me. It's hard to sum it all up into a few words, but to put it plainly, there's been a lot of hardships I've encountered in my personal and professional life since starting this journey, along with some blessings that kept me going along the way.

When I first dreamed up this concept, I was experiencing a lot of new things. I was participating in fandoms for other indie "yandere" VNs, I was drawing a shit ton and garnering a following. I was actually becoming the active, well known artist I'd been striving to become since around 2015. I was so inspired and, somehow along the way, I gained the attention and respect from a lot of other creators. It was so insane to think so many talented people cared about what I was making, considered me worth following, etc.

That only grew as time went on, especially when I started the A2A project. From that point, I watched in absolute shock as people engaged with my own ideas, drew my own characters. They were hyped for this visual novel, they wanted to know more. Douglas started to get associated and drawn with other indie VN characters. This feeling of being put beside all these other amazing creators was disorienting to say the least.

Due to a lot of things I've been through, it feels like the magic wore off a bit. A lot of the drive I experienced at the peak of 2022 kind of plateaued, and... lots of things changed for me. I started taking commissions, I started doing more than just art, like getting back into video editing and voice acting. I got hired by a studio, I got a lead role in another visual novel. I told myself that I can do all these things that I want to, despite the additional need to work a regular job, and the fact that ADHD VERY much has hands. Financial hardship and mental illness... double homicide

A lot can change in two years. My inspirations for the setting in A2A came from my experiences with a job I had at the time. Well, needless to say I've had a few jobs since then, and been through a few very... jading experiences. The person I was when I conceptualized Apple to Ashes and the person I am now are two different people. I was very bright-eyed and inspired, especially by my peers. I wanted to attempt to do something I'd dreamed of for a long time: make a visual novel, and it felt possible, tangible.

I've learned a lot since then. There's a lot that goes into making a game, especially considering I'm largely pursuing it alone. Due to that, and the choices I've made, the things I've been through, Apple to Ashes progress has largely been halted. I feel a lot of pressure to make it something satisfying for everyone that's given love to this project. I feel a lot of guilt about the lack of progress, and feel like I'm earning the ire of people who are tired of waiting, or perhaps losing any momentum or interest I had originally garnered.

All that being said, I'm not saying all this to come to the conclusion that this project is canceled. It's not. I want this story to come to fruition. I want to give everyone waiting the experience they deserve. I want to reach the full potential this concept offers. I want to explore the themes I've attached, use the experiences I've had and witnessed. I want to bring light to these issues using this medium.

The TLDR of this is... Apples to Ashes will happen when it happens, but it is going to happen. To those of you who have offered your patience, I really appreciate it more than I can put into words.

Thank you for reading.

#apples to ashes #updates

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jin-mukang · 1 year

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I finally finished reading Tress of the Emerald Sea. A little late, I know, but hey, this has been the first book I've physically (ebook) read myself and not listened to as an audiobook in years.

Anyways, I just wanted to sing my praise for Brandon Sanderson writing a predictable book.

More under the cut cuz spoilers and rambling

Lately, I feel like a lot of media has gotten this hate train for predicability. Marvel, for one, is an easy example. But there's also things like movies and shows made with an already popular IP that is another example. Directors, authors, writers, everyone seems so obsessed with shocking the consumer. They want endings that come out of nowhere, leaving the consumer feeling nothing but awe struck whiplash. And quite frankly, I've gotten real tired of that years ago.

Anyways, I'm rambling.

When I first started reading Tress, the first thing I predicted was "Tress is going to be a knight in shining armor, Charlie will be the damsel in distress". I knew this, because when Tress and Charlie were talking about damels and knights, they talked about it specifying how Tress wouldn't be a very good damsel, and Charlie wouldn't be a very good knight. It's an easy conclusion for a reader to come to for there to be a role reversal, so when it actually happened, all I could feel was relief. Thank GOD the story went along my prediction. I got very excited thinking that Tress would be doing the rescuing, and if that didn't happen, I would have been disappointed, not shocked by how unpredictable it turned out to be. I didn't want a "Tress is the damsel, but wait, there's a twist!" Situation. The way they talked suggested a role reversal, and that conversation would have meant nothing if it went any other way. It would have just been a rude gesture of "hah! You thought you could predict the story by just this conversation! You fool! I tricked you! I purposely put in this conversation to trick you!"

Lemme get it clear that I don't expect Brandon Sanderson to write like that. Admittedly, when I pledged to the Kickstarter, I hadn't actually read a single book from Brandon Sanderson. I had NO CLUE what I was getting into, but it seemed like the perfect deadline to actually sit down and go through the Cosmere stories before the books started getting sent. Trust me, if I didn't spend money on the Kickstarter, I never would have picked up The Way of Kings. I've been frightened of that book since Junior High. It's been haunting the corners of my mind every time I visit the library. It looks like a good book! It's just so fucking long! So yeah, I spent money on a Kickstarter for an author I've never read a book from before. And I'm glad I did. I got through Stormlight, in getting through Mistborn, I love these books so much.

ANYWAYS. I just want to stress because of how much I loved Stormlight and Mistborn, I truly didn't expect Brandon to do a "HAH! FOOLED YOU WITH MY FALSE LEAD!". In fact, going into Tress, when I saw that foreshadowing, I knew I could trust it. And it still felt so rewarding for that little, easy to come to prediction, to actually come into reality.

So, when I met Huck, I knew the moment we learnt about the Sorceress's curses, that Huck was Charlie. This prediction was a little harder to stick to, but the subtle inconsistencies of Huck's story and goals kept me firm on it, but it was also done with such care that I knew if I was wrong, then there's surely something that makes sense and will wow me anyways. I wouldn't be disappointed that Huck wasn't Charlie, the book didn't lead you on to focus on that.

And then, this is where Brandon Sanderson does throw you in for a loop. It's so subtly obvious that Huck is Charlie, but then Tress gets to the Sorceress and suddenly, just for a page, you're confronted with a human Charlie who is so so Charlie and you're stopped there thinking "wait, where's the catch? How are Charlie and Huck not the same?" And you're suddenly confronted that not only did Tress change, but you as the reader changed too. At the beginning of the book, you know they're perfect for each other, you want to rescue Charlie too, you want them together and happy, but Charlie didn't change. He's the same. The same old Charlie... just doesn't seem right for Tress anymore. She doesn't seem happy. You don't feel happy. All the Sorceress wanted were her cups? But what about Huck?

What about Huck.

And then, Tress realizes, and you nearly jump out of your chair screaming when she realizes YOU were right all along. Huck is Charlie! This human Charlie is a fake!! Tress goes back to the Sorceress to demand her real Charlie back.

It was so exciting. So so so enjoyable.

Anyways, this isn't to say I think the story was purposely predictable, or that it was meant to be guessed ahead of time, but man, it was so so nice to see a story just. Happen. There's so many things Tress of the Emerald Sea could be complimented about, but I haven't seen anyone talk about the predicability of the story itself, and how it's done so well, and proves that shock factor doesn't make a good story, a good story makes a good story, and sometimes good stories are oh so delightfully predicable.

#tress of the emerald sea #brandon sanderson #cosmere #the cosmere

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brf-rumortrackinganon · 3 months

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Wow, this was amazing. I could never read anything (not even a tweet) this little asshole puts on paper and I really appreciate you taking the bullet on this.

As I read, I wanted to put in post-it notes for things I wanted to comment on. I don't remember them now, but it all comes down to the same thing:

Omid Scobie is full of shit. No one contacted him about the Queen dying. If they did, he'd have gotten it out there that he knew it was coming before it came so he could be important.

Omid Scobie doesn't have contacts left in England. He just makes shit up at will.

Omid Scobie is seething about his loss of importance. When MM came along, his ticket to stardom was in hand. It now lost. All is lost, I say! And he will never stop trying to make everyone pay for his loss of perceived status and access to gossip.

Omid Scobie, who once looked like Omid Scobie, is one to talk about racism. When you spend thousands and thousands of dollar, pain, and time to look as white as can be, you lose your credibility. Well, whatever credibility you might have once had.

Omid Scobie, shut the fuck up about Diana and William. BRFRumor, you nailed it. William actually knew his mother. I am OG Diana. Adored her then, adore her now, will always adore her. That doesn't mean I think she was perfect or an angel. I think she was a woman trying to maneuver her way in the world, a world owned and operated by men, like so many women before her. She was sensitive and she was real. She genuinely cared for people and causes. She genuinely loved her husband and was in way over her head in the situation she married into. She was indeed complex and complicated, and she made some really stupid, nasty mistakes when she was divorcing, as many do. William knows and accepts all of that about her - and still adores her. Harry doesn't even know who his mother was. He adores his idealization of her and he and OS make that out to be Harry and only Harry knowing and loving his mother. Harry would never dream of actually trying to figure out who is mother was. It's all coattails shit with all three of them: H, MM, OS. They want to bask in Diana's reflected glory. Psh. Instead, all they've done is turn all kinds of people against Diana since they insist they are like her. Not one of them is anything like her.

Okay, I've gotten myself so worked up on this last one I can't remember the rest. :) Your ending was brilliant. If only I could remember what it was. :)

Thank you for taking the time to do this! It's a brilliant piece of work!

Yeah, Scobie's chapter on Diana is an interesting one. It's all over the place so you just want to tell him 'Get to the point, man!'

But I think his point is this: Diana has been the face of the royal brand for so long, whether it's the idealized Diana of her 20s, the global force for change and good in her 30s, her fashion and style, and/or her tragic death) that the Palace no longer wants her there. So they're trying to discredit her to where she no longer "is" the royal brand. It won't work, is Scobie's conclusion because like "her statue's reflection in the palace pond...depending on the light, her true story briefly vanishes but always reappears."

He seems to suggest that it's Harry and Meghan's struggles with the BRF that keeps Diana's true story alive (because they've gone through similar things) in spite of William, Charles, and Camilla.

And for Scobie to believe William thinks there is no place for Diana in his monarchy, it does point to Scobie not having any sources left. Or, as anon points out, making shit up for the drama. Because William's made it clear there's a place for his mother's memory in his future. He just doesn't browbeat us to death with it the way Harry does.

#ask #endgame #omid scobie

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lanaevyssmoved · 8 months

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how do you feel about people getting astarion’s scars as tattoos because when i saw it i was like uh….

so i was thinking about how to answer this question for a bit and i've come to the conclusion that my struggles because i am completely gobsmacked that in 2023 we still have issues like this

i am 29 years old, which i think is very important to bring up. i've been on tumblr for over a decade, i remember when people were actually doxxed over kinning a character who did a murder once. i remember when lives were destroyed over how people chose to love a video game character. i remember when an ask like this would cause a witch hunt that ended in someone being genuinely unsafe. i think asks like this can still be dangerous, and i can't post this without making that clear. while i'd like to think this wouldn't happen anymore, i can't say for sure, i think we need to have the self awareness of what can come, when our history, as in tumblrs history, is full of things like this being actually deadly. sorry if that's a little too serious for the vibe you're putting out, but that shit was fucking traumatising and i'm not gonna pretend it wasn't, so this ask was a little scary to receive and my upcoming honesty? i'm scared to put it out there on gut instinct alone haha (insert comment about astarion kinnies here)

astarion is a video game character with intent to make you feel things, good or bad. he is designed to tell a story and attach you to that story. he is designed to make your little brain juices sizzle when he says a funny or makes you sad. i'm sure this is obvious, but your concern for what people do with these feelings makes me think it might not be.

the scars are fucking cool design. they were made to be fucking cool. you're meant to look at them the first time you do and go WHOA.... it is very easy to appreciate the work and effort that went into them by whomever designed them, they have a lot to be proud about. if someone wants the scars as a tattoo because they think it's cool, more power to them. that's a fucking expensive tattoo, it would take a long ass time to be finished and heal, it would never be an easy decision for these facts alone.. and adults can do whatever they like with their money. he doesn't exist, he isn't real, he can't be offended by this, and you shouldn't be either.

and now i have to get sensitive with it because astarions story, whether you want to think of this or not, can, and will, resonate with abused people. many kinds of people of course, but most especially abuse victims. as a victim myself, parts of his story hit just a little too close to home and hurt. now think of someone who might have it hit closer to home than it did for me, someone who finds more connection with what astarion went through and what they went through. now imagine how important astarion is to that person, his reclaiming of autonomy, his reclaiming of agency, etc. i can see someone wanting the scars as tattoos because then in their mind they can be astarion and do what astarion did. they can be closer to astarion and use that strength to survive and push through. they can feel what he felt and survive (obviously it's not the same, but it's the symbolism). unfortunately you cannot dismiss that some people may be doing it out of a place of trauma and using astarion to help them heal. i'm not arguing whether or not this is healthy, i've certainly done similar in my youth when it comes to relating to characters who have been abused, we all find our ways to cope, and we all find our places of strength.

astarion doesn't exist, he was created in a game studio with intent to make you feel shit, as established already, including intent to make you feel so strongly you want to put pieces of him on your skin forever, like, that's a compliment when it comes to making characters. if afhiri had something on her skin that signified trauma, and someone wanted to permanently put that on their skin? wow, she means that much to you? you liked her that much? that's a gods damn compliment. and i cannot see those who worked closely with astarions creation seeing it any other way.

what i can say is that when i was younger, 20-23ish, i probably would have given it an 'uh...' too, but as i grew older i realised that life is draining, it is hard, and there is no room to healthily view video game characters as any more than some code and 3d model that exist exclusively to make you feel something strong enough that you might want them with you forever, because that's the end goal, to make you feel that strongly, and if you wanna spend that hard earned money you make on putting the cool scars on your back, or the scars that make you feel so emotional that you cry on your back, do it. let the character whose made this rough existence a little easier or mean a little more do that for you, and if you wanna express it through a tattoo, do that, it's your body, your flesh.

i'm rambling on because i am so passionate in that life is too short to judge others via this. our lives are too hard already, life sucks enough as it is. the video game character doesn't give a shit if his scars are a tattoo because he's not real. who cares? why do you care? no, seriously, why do you care? does this help you? is it good for you? is judging someone else's decisions an act that brings you actual, real joy? is that how you want to spend your time? where you want to put your free thoughts? you don't know them, their reasoning, what they're going through, and it shouldn't matter. because their body has absolutely nothing to do with you, and i find it weird and uncomfortable that you cared enough about what someone else does with their body that you'd send me an anon about it.

i don't know whether you were looking for validation, or me to generally think about this critically, but i cannot encourage the mindset of caring about this more than "wow, i hope it looks good because that shit gonna be expeeeensive!!!" i cannot encourage sending people anon asks about it, it is strange to do that. this was strange! it was a strange experience and i don't like it. but i couldn't ignore it.

astarion might matter to you, personally, but he himself as a video game character, doesn't, because he isn't real, he has no feelings, he cannot be hurt or offended. but the person getting the tattoo? they're real. they're a real life person with feelings. they can be hurt, you can hurt them. you can judge them and bring them down and make them feel guilty for their choices. deciding whether you are the kind of person who'd do that to a living breathing person over a video game character is something you need to do. do you want to be that person? i know i certainly don't

#ask #Anonymous #sorry for putting this massive ask on everyones dash this morning this just really hit me in the gut #i cried writing this lol dgkdfgd #please don't send people asks like this #don't invite others to be judgemental and unkind #don't encourage that.. not ever #please do better #sorry if theres typos or smth doesnt make sense #this became very hard to look at

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aurora-daily · 3 months

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AURORA in GAFFA by Sigurd Hollen Elgenes (January 21st, 2024)

After some back and forth on DM's, the artist agreed to meet for a chat with GAFFA. At least as long as there was cake. Carrot cake. This despite the fact that she has never liked cake and other sweet things.

A relatively small artist from Bergen, and a relatively large journalist from Oslo, find themselves in a cozy little room a stone's throw away from Karl Johan, while the afternoon darkness is falling cold outside the windows. The walls are decorated with summery floral motifs. In the background you can hear bossa nova playing softly. We are at Kongens Gate 10, AKA The Cakery. A place the journalist's mother has warmly recommended.

“Oh, how sweet you are! Thank you very much!", - exclaims Aurora Aksnes in a burst of fireworks when the owner of the café patisserie comes strolling over with a not-too-mini mini-carrot cake cut into four large pieces. On top, they have sparingly sprinkled walnut kernels. Immediately she begins to feed herself with her hands. It is Monday, and after a long weekend this is the first meal of the day, she says. She wears a stolen sequined jacket adorned with two clip-on medallions she "bought from an old lady".

I try to talk a little about the cake.

The human being above me makes contented grunts. Smacks glaze off fingers.

"mmmm daddy," she exclaims in a "foodgasm" as I'm trying to pull myself together and go into serious interviewer-mode.

A dazed little "wow!" falls out of me.

It embarrasses me a bit.

We both start laughing.

If anyone wonders whether the high-flying "persona" of Aksnes is a character, I can assure you that whatever her thing is, is a genuine full-time show. I might have to give up high hopes of journalistic integrity and professionalism. The mood is set.

Happy New Year! Did you have a nice Christmas and all that?

“I'm not very happy about Christmas Eve. But I am very happy in the run-up to Christmas. I love the first of December when there is a lot of Christmas atmosphere. It's a new season of Snøfall (a norwegian childrens show) this year, and I really enjoyed it."

We discuss children and cancer (a central theme in the new season of "Snøfall"), and together come to the conclusion that 1. - it is important to talk about difficult things, and 2. that all tax money should go to sick children.

"Sick children are beautiful." Aurora says warmly.

I point out that not all sick children are necessarily beautiful, and that children are basically as different from each other as adults. We agree that some kids are cool and that others are assholes. Fine and clever photographer Ole tries discreetly to snap pictures while we chat, and we laughingly try to ignore the intense flash.

How is the carrot cake?

"Delightful." she answers quickly.

“It's just this icing that I have to constantly lick off my fingers. It requires dedication.”

As I am about to point out that she has a fork right in front of her, she locks her gaze on an invisible point in mid-air. With squinting and thoughtful eyes, she chooses her words carefully.

"I've always.. felt like a person who should like cake... It's kind of been in my cards.. but.. I hate cake."

The gaze drops and she laughs a little. Apparently by itself.

"Sweet things usually make me sick. But I would really like to like cake. And this is, after all, a perfect cake."

The time has come to fulfill Aurora's second premise for the interview. From my jacket pocket I fish out a small pink net with a bow on it. There is nothing inside. Something grown from my own body, actually.

"Ooooooo!!!!"

Again she bubbles over with enthusiasm and happiness. How do anyone manage to find so much joy in strange things?

"I'm considering making a piece of jewelry. When I have enough of them.”

“It all started when I walked across a field in Canada. Then I came across something absolutely amazing! It was so big that I didn't understand what it could have come from, but eventually I came to the conclusion that it must be a cow molar!"

A cow molar.

"A cow molar! For real! It was so huge and beautiful. One of the dearest things I own. Now I've got a thing for teeth."

Here the interview reaches a point where it becomes "challenging" to transcribe, to put it mildly.

To briefly recap some digressions from the sea of digression-digressions: She mentions that she recently told a barista that she wanted human milk in her coffee, and that he didn't think it was funny. That she has made a habit out of putting people out for talking about something very strange, and then dismissively pointing out that it is strange to talk about when the person herself says something about the strange thing she herself brought up. We come back to children, and how much fun it would have been to teach a baby to say "PAHPHA" and "MAHMA" in a monster voice and that in theory you can teach children the alphabet incorrectly for fun.

"Do you want cake in your mouth?"

She looks dead into the eyes of photographer Ole. He hesitates a bit, nervously.

"BrrrrrRrRrmm"

She has forked off a piece of her piece of cake which is now on its way through the air like a crashing plane heading for the mouth of Ole who, somewhat reluctantly, leans forward and receives the plane crash orally.

This is spinning completely out of control. I carefully look down at the yellow post-it note with factual questions I haven't asked.

What are the plans for 2024? Any new music?

She looks directly into my eyes as she is patiently tasting the question. Wrinkles her nose a little.

“Hmmm. I can say as much as there will be music. It will come sooner than you think, but later than you want.”

Ole and I start to guess a little about months, but she just smiles mysteriously. This is hush-hush. Since she doesn't want to say anything about when, what or who, I do some question acrobatics and ask something else.

You recently released the music video for "Your Blood" with Canadian-Iranian Kaveh Nabatia. Really dig the song and the video. eeeh, would you like to tell me a little about it?

"oh Kaveh is so cool. Did he meet completely randomly at a Japanese whiskey bar in Canada (ed. the same trip she found the cow's tooth?) where we sat and chatted for hours. We got along so terribly well that I decided then and there. "You're going to make all my music videos from now on!". A decision I stand by. Almost all the collaborations I do are a result of me finding people I love. I love people! And - human chemistry is so important when making things together!"

We chat a little further. She says that she will next meet a guy who claims that he is a 5-time world champion (?!) in billiards. He works at the billiards bar "Que" next to Jysk below Sannergata. She had met him there at Girl in Red's Christmas party a few weeks prior. The same evening/night where we agreed to do this interview over DMs actually!

We realize three or four digressions later that the place has actually closed 20 minutes ago, but that the kind owner didn't want to disturb. We thank each other before exchanging hugs and saying our goodbyes. A new friend richer, I would recommend everyone to eat cake at The Cakery. They offer home-made cakes and proper coffee served on vintage Alice in Wonderland-like crockery.

#aurora #aurora aksnes #interviews #photoshoots

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stuffnonsenseandotherthings · 4 months

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BL Drama no Shuen ni Narimashita: Crank Up Hen Final Thoughts

Watch It Or Drop It Challenge

Three episodes of cuteness, misunderstandings and laughs sprinkled with a pinch of childhood trauma and ponderings on stan culture.

Strengths

This is, without a single doubt, an incredibly cute show with plenty of heart at its centre. The cast is small and the run time is compact but it did a lot with what it had; the characters felt like they had lives outside of and beyond the boundaries of the script (and this includes the supporting characters, who can run the risk of feeling like props in short dramas like these), the pacing was solid, the chemistry was there (for both couples and the head canon lesbian couple I've added for my own enjoyment), and the show even managed to touch on some deeper themes in amidst the comedy.

I had a genuinely great time getting to know both Akafuji and Aoyanagi and as cliche-filled and rom-com tropey as their story was (yes they have to live together, oh darn there's only one bed, wow would you look at that they'd actually already met, etc) those clichés and tropes were done well enough (and an integral part of the drama's main theme enough) I bought it hook-line-and sinker. There is something extremely satisfying about a show that is self-aware enough to play with its own tropes after all.

A final strength: hats off to Akafuji for being such a healthy stan, that man said no to the traps of parasocial relationships and drew some firm lines for himself.

Weaknesses

As I said in the strengths section, BL Drama no Shuen ni Narimashita: Crank Up Hen certainly didn't need a longer run time to successfully and effectively deliver it's story (in fact it's probably a good thing it wasn't longer) but, as with all short dramas I watch, I still find myself wishing it was a little longer. I would have loved the show to have more of a chance to explore some of the deeper themes it touched on (Kuromiya and his own experience with stan culture VS Akafuji's boundaries as a stan, the trauma of being a child actor) but at the same time I can fully accept that that wasn't what the show was setting out to do and that it didn't need to do it in order to tell a good story.

A final weakness: The crime of cat-bating, you can't tell me one of the characters has a cat he adores AND THEN NOT GIVE ME A SCENE WITH A CAT IN IT (and no a picture is not enough)

Conclusion: An excellent introduction to the world of J-BL that has me excited for whatever I watch next. It was short and sweet and, while on a conceptual level I wish there'd been more time to explore the darker themes it touched on, it absolutely did not need to and it's probably best that it didn't.

I would definitely recommend it to anyone looking for something light, fluffy, and funny and which also won't bury them under a heap of second hand embarrassment but instead warm the cockles of their hearts!

Watch or Drop: WATCH

Final Score: 8/10

Would I Rewatch It: Yes! Maybe not straight away but I can definitely see myself coming back to it if I want a quick fluffy watch or a pick-me-up

Watch It Or Drop It Masterpost

#watch it or drop it #watch it #BL Drama no Shuen ni Narimashita: Crank Up Hen #j bl

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bitterkarella · 11 months

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Midnight Pals: What a Deal

Koontz: submitted for the approval of the midnight society Koontz: i Koontz: phew Poe: what's the matter dean Koontz: i don't know, telling stories is such hard work Koontz: there's got to be a better way L Ron Hubbard: hey friends its me your old pal honest ron Hubbard: listen friend i hear ya Hubbard: making stories takes it outta ya Koontz: that's for sure! Hubbard: all day long, slaving over a hot laptop, til your hands are calloused and wrinkled Koontz: and how!

Hubbard: listen friends i got the solution to all your problems right here Koontz: tell me more! Hubbard: a genuine bonified, eletrified wonder! it splices, it dices, but it won't write about vices Hubbard: we call it Hubbard: The AI Koontz: gosh!

King: careful dean, i don't know if we should trust honest ron King: i've been burned before Hubbard: listen friend i know you're still sore about the apes Hubbard: but this time Hubbard: it's totally different! King: oh well in that case

King: how does it work Hubbard: all you gotta do is, you put your prompt in this slot here Hubbard: and your story comes out this slot here King: wow! King: and to think all these years i've been using my brain like a chump!

Hubbard: every home in america's gonna have an AI! but you better hurry... they're going fast! Koontz: fast? oh no! are there any left? Hubbard: hold on Hubbard: why you're in luck my friend Hubbard: looks like we have just one left in stock! Koontz: phew what a relief!

Hubbard: here you go friend, pleasure doing business with you Koontz: phew glad i was fast! King: can i get one? Hubbard: sure friend Hubbard: oh what luck, looks like we just found another one in the back Lovecraft: what about me? Hubbard: did i say one? two, TWO in the back!

Hubbard: [counting stack of bills] pleasure doing business with you chum..........................................p Hubbard: oh i got this machine that can paint a star on your belly too if anyone's interested in that

Poe: what are you guys doing Koontz: we all got AI story generators! now we don't have to write ever again! King: thats right! writers are totally superfluous now, i King: King: oh no King: did i play myself Poe: you played yourself

King: lets see how this AI generates stories Margaret Atwood [under cardboard box, through vocoder]: please insert prompt into content-slop-o-tron™ King: ok i King: wait a minute King: this isn't an AI at all!!! King: we've been hornswaggled!

Poe: welcome to the campfire for authors that gather around this campfire King: here is a story in the style of stephen king, which contains scares & chills, before reaching a conclusion at which point it ends Koontz: SYNTAX ERROR Mary Shelley: [clipping through wall] sup fuckers

Shelley: [pulling out shiv] I cannot fulfill this request. It is not appropriate to generate content that promotes harmful stereotypes or promotes unhealthy behaviors

#midnight pals #the midnight society #midnight society #stephen king #edgar allan poe #dean koontz #hp lovecraft #mary shelley #l ron hubbard #margaret atwood

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desertfangs · 1 month

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For Daniel!

18. Do you prefer to see this character suffer or know peace? Angst or comfort? Both?

28. Do you get defensive about this character? If yes, then why?

18. Do you prefer to see this character suffer or know peace? Angst or comfort? Both?

Oof that's hard. Because in my heart, I prefer Daniel to be comfortable and comforted by those he loves. I want him to be happy. He's earned it. (They all have!)

And while I usually write fluffy or happy endings, I usually have to put him through the ringer a little bit first. (I love the hurt/comfort trope a lot.) Fluff and silly stuff is fun, but think it's really interesting what characters do in hard situations and how they manage to get out of them or what will make them open up and actually say the things they need to say to others, etc. So while I don't like seeing Daniel suffer, I do enjoy reading and writing fics where he's not having a good time and seeing how it plays out and what he does about it. Sometimes it doesn't end happily, and that's okay, too. Sometimes things don't.

But in my heart, he is often comfortable in bed with Armand or Marius (or both) and making the other person watch ridiculous YouTube videos about miniatures.

28. Do you get defensive about this character? If yes, then why?

No....? Maybe occasionally? I mean, I think in fandom one always sees takes or headcanons or ideas about characters that make you stop and go "Wait, what?" But I've really made an effort to train myself to go Huh, that's interesting take, I wonder why they think that? instead of knee-jerking to the "Wow, that's dumb" side of things. And I mean, let's be honest, sometimes you just Do Not See It and that's fine! We don't all have to have the same carbon-copy idea of these guys in our heads. (I'm sure plenty of people have the same reaction to many of my takes and headcanons, and that is also fine!)

With Daniel especially, we're not really given anything about his family life or backstory before the interview and even after he's a vampire, there are enough gaps in his story to fill a strip mall. So everyone is just extrapolating their ideas about him from what we're given based on their own ideas and experiences, and that's going to create a lot of variation. Which is fun!! We're not all gonna come to the same conclusions, and that makes things interesting.

I've been in this fandom for a long time and I've loved Daniel for a long time, so I have a lot of ideas about him built up in my head. I've had to reconcile new canon information with my mental image of him a few times over and that always caused some growing pains ('Oh he's mad now??? And building model trains? That's not mad!') And sometimes someone's take where at first I'm like "Huh, never thought about it that way" becomes my favorite new headcanon.

So in short, like... no? I certainly try not to be. And even if I don't jive with a take about Daniel, it doesn't hurt me for someone else to have it, you know?

Thank you so much for the ask!

#daniel molloy #vc headcanons #character ask meme #answers in the desert #uncivilcivilservice

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unproduciblesmackdown · 1 year

Text

reread the rest thus far of lackadaisy and there's the both v easy & difficult task of gathering a shit ton but only a shit ton of excerpts (like every single page is a highlight i'm not exaggerating)

and every single element is superlative and the way it all only becomes More So....already mentioned the way the like smooth gradient shading made the successful evocation of 3D Shapes more noticeable, along w/the consistent geometries of character design & details in fabric folds; the way Lighting & Coloring only goes on to become more prominent elements only enhances that further. the compositions, backgrounds, pacing, angles....everything is so dynamic & expressive, such as including the expressions which you know i also Love / absorbed

going "hell yes for people to discover this superlative comic" then having to occasionally refresh past site traffic overloaded server errors like "nooo" but actually yes

whilest clapping & cheering for the fun of everyone who's been here a minute. My God the invigorating reward when again i started reading in '07 & the concept of rocky & freckle on a "proper" run had only manifested via fun official bonus art, then a literal decade later as it was actually happening in the comic like screeeeaammm i can feel it coming in the air tonight oh lord etc....i've loved following it, again, if i see another new comic page. i am going to be Enriched

i also really was right on the ball myself this time around like okay okay yep i have picked up on Everything, at least to the degree i can lmao. i love the mysteries. i love how Character Focused it is too ofc and there's no characters i'm uniterested in / dislike. you gotta point to one of them, truly, and i have been a [pointing at freckle] enjoyer these fifteen years but fr i am a connoisseur of everyone, i love that so many characters are a weird mysterious chaos element story driver in their own right. i considered mordecai more intently than ever, love his like ultra mystery (and that we leave off on him doing some detectiving even) and truly fun that like, the source of the more Immediate problems he keeps having in every damn interaction isn't the like [wow mordecai with the just diving into the hatchet murdering] factor so much as it's that he's generally like "i am just standing here" and is not nt in any way that matters and people insist on fucking with him on that front. the peak tragedy of him in a bonus comic getting bullied into having to dance with someone to Be Polite like i'm so sorry i wish you could be that ficus too. anyways intrigued with the marigold &/or mordecai mysteries including that it's like, how coincidental is it that he talks about marigold having a thorn in its side & the savoys' nickname for him is peekon = thorn. there is so much to consider, love that for us truly. and i'm rooting for mordecai & nicodeme's dynamic out here, is another conclusion....very enriched by comparing & contrasting that serafine nicodeme mordecai triumvirate with the rocky ivy freckle one, to be sure. im enriched

i'm also enriched by every footnote that's got like historical facts / research notes / [this is inaccurate for xyz prioritization but here's the disclaimer] explanations. i Love information. and everything else like i loooove this comic it's Soooo Fucking putting my hands to my temples and inhaling at length through my teeth

#first time i've really taken tumblr up on that new thirty image limit expansion; bit of a surprise maybe lol #put your back into autism acceptance month &/or press j; scroll fast; read through it actually; filter the following:#long post //#learning abt the overwhelming popularity of baby ruth candy bars from lackadaisy footnotes? relevant to gtm:pota aficionadoship at one pt #remember discussing what i learned from another footnote abt some christian denominations / other religions being very Anti Prohibition #every time i use the word cagey i think of lackadaisy. cagey thing... we've all been there #fantastic time revisiting and i love to be considering all these characters all the further / with reckless juxtaposition #especially the two triumvirates as mentioned. rooting for them all #rooting for mordecai to be relieved of that v realistic [ppl sensing a Mess With His he is not nt in any way that mattersness Free For All]#either let him be or start shooting at him lmfao. but i Love that the gang had that pleasant nonbrunch together & no shots exchanged yet #more brunches! and i think nicodeme could be mordecai's bestie or w/e he wants. turn out to be Supportive in any way that matters #they are more so the ivy and freckle of their group after all lol. slightly would-be Unlikely coupling there as well anyways; and yet!#i am as enriched and intrigued and appreciative and etc as ever #and reminded that in my rereading i haven't yet gone over all the bonus material lol....#also stumbled across that sungwon cho had fandubs of lackadaisy comics posted like 9 yrs back??#which means i probably saw one or two; think i remember one being shared and checking that out #like hey didn't know i'd encountered you before like; vines & oh the lamps are fucking & etc. and now there he goes voicing mordecai yaay #lackadaisy

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elysianymph · 11 months

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For your fic asks:

5. sounds like everything I've ever wanted

also super interested in 4.

-Cress

already answered number 5, so number 4 it is!!

regulus gets obliviated. shit happens is really the best way to describe it. no voldemort au again bc i like to make things simple for myself.

regulus starts his 6th year off like any other. he's a prefect now and he takes his duties seriously, he's studying like usual, but he can't help but feel like something is wrong. like something is... missing?

he thinks he just needs to get used to being back at hogwarts again, but he knows something is definitely wrong when one night while out on patrol, james potter grabs him and pulls him into a broom closet. the guy doesn't even let regulus throw a hex at him because his lips are immediately against regulus' and when he pulls away he's talking about how much they've missed him, how happy he is to see him, how hard he's tried to get regulus alone but could never seem to get it right.

he's telling regulus that lily is just around the corner and should be with them soon and then they can catch up on what happened over the summer and sort it all out, but regulus is still reeling from the fact that james fucking potter just kissed him??? and he's leaning in for more?? and regulus fucking lets him do it because wow his lips feel nice

and then lily evans is opening the door to the broom closet and regulus is expecting a screaming match to start any moment, but no, she approaches them and pulls regulus down so she can kiss him too and what the fuck?? when she pulls away regulus expects some big reveal, some confirmation that this is all a misunderstanding or maybe he expects to wake up in his bed. that would be nice.

but nothing happens, they don't say anything, they don't seem confused at all, if anything they seem happy and content like this is all normal and like regulus' entire world hasn't just shifted on its axis. so regulus comes to the one logical conclusion: this is all some big prank that sirius orchestrated to get back at him. why he had to get two of his friends involved with kissing regulus is beyond him, but he's not really complaining.

as you can imagine, this isn't a prank but rather lily and james trying to continue the secret relationship they started with regulus last year. problem is, regulus doesn't remember any of it. i'll just say that having your secret boyfriend and girlfriend send letters that could be easily intercepted by a nosy mother wasn't the smartest idea regulus has ever had

#i thought i had posted this last night but turns out it just went into my drafts 💀#thank you for letting me ramble about these idiots #i had completely forgotten about this idea tbh #BUT IT SOUNDS SO FUN NOW I WANNA WRITE IT #jegulily #nymph answers

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ashland-frost · 4 months

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The Raven is back and doesn't like the lion

Okay, here's the run down, Paris Dacas is the new fifth-year and has started to avoid Sebastian, which she might end up regrets. This may be part one if it interests anyone. I'll write a part two.

This is a fan fic with my oc Ashland Frost & Sebastian Sallow.

"Why are you ignoring me? We went through so much together last year, but you won't even talk to me," he pleaded.

"I'm sorry, Sebastian. I just have a lot on my mind right now. Give me some time," Paris responded.

trying to understand her situation, Sebastian nodded and said, "I understand. Take all the time you need. I'll be here to listen when you're ready." With that, he walks away, heading to the great hall, This friend he had made during their fifth year at Hogwarts. It was a year filled with new experiences and friendships, and most importantly the year of many mistakes he wouldn't take back, Sebastian couldn't help but feel confused by the sudden change in her attitude.

As she watched him walk away, a whirlwind of emotions swirled within her. Little did she know, one of Sebastian's closest friends was coming back and heard about some pretty new girl hanging around him and was not happy about it.

Sixth year has begun at Hogwarts.

Sebastian finds himself seated next to Ominis at the Slytherin table. "So, your little snow fairy is returning this year. She even managed to send me an owl," Ominis remarked, tapping lightly on the table.

"Is she really? I've missed her, shes gonna be angry with me" Sebastian admitted, realizing that he hadn't seen her in a whole year and he'd have to tell her some uncomfortable things he's done.

"She's going to be furious with you. I told her everything that happened in fifth year," Ominis said with a mischievous grin.

Upon hearing this, Sebastian froze. "When you say everything..."

Ominis interrupted him, saying, "Absolutely everything!"

"Oh no, I'm doomed. Is it too late to be sent to Azkaban?" Sebastian exclaimed, feeling a cold sweat forming on his forehead.

Ominis burst into laughter. "No, it's not too late but I feel this is without a doubt better. I believe she went to talk to Anne before coming here. This is going to be quite amusing.. for me."

Sebastian's fear intensified, and he fell into a state of silence.

"Wow, you're really scared, huh? You're never this quiet," Ominis remarked.

Sebastian remained silent for a moment before finally whispering, "I'm terrified... Do you have any idea what she's capable of?"

"I do. That's why nobody dares to make an enemy out of her family. And you just happen to be best friends with the strongest member. Lucky you," Ominis replied, emphasizing the irony.

As Sebastian prepared to speak, the snow fairy they had been discussing made her grand entrance through the doors of the Great Hall. She exuded an icy aura, resembling a living blizzard with her pale skin and flowing white hair. Despite being an albino who attracted many curious glances, her beauty was undeniable, and it seemed to have intensified over not seeing her in a year. Taking her seat at the Ravenclaw table, she eagerly awaited the conclusion of the welcome back ceremony and the arrival of the new first years, for she had some rather aggressive plans in store for a certain someone, and intended to give him a well-deserved slap.

Sebastian couldn't tear his eyes away from her silhouette. As she turned around, her gaze pierced through him with a cold, angry stare, causing Sebastian to jump in his seat. He leaned over to Ominis and whispered, "I was so scared, I almost wet myself..."

"Sebastian, please find somewhere else to do that. I have a feeling I might get yelled at too," he replied, exasperated and not wanting to admit he felt the stare, almost jumping out his seat.

Now, both Sebastian and Ominis couldn't help but wonder how their first encounter with her would go.

Meanwhile, the student who had joined Hogwarts last year, Paris Dacas, had never come across the infamous "white ghost" of Hogwarts, as the other students referred to her. Her name was Ashland Frost, and her personality matched her frosty appearance. It was impossible to miss her unique presence. She leaned in and whispered to Garreth, asking who she was.

"Oh, that's the white ghost. She looks amazing, doesn't she? Right, you didn't meet her last year because she was on a break, family stuff I hear. She may come across as blunt, but she's not a bad person. Hasn't Sebastian told you about her?" Garreth questioned, surprised that she didn't know.

"Why would he?" she responded, clearly confused.

"Well, they're best friends, you know. People often refer to them as the three snakes and their raven," Garreth explained, finding it strange that Paris wasn't aware of Frost's existence.

As the welcoming ceremony finally comes to an end. Frost yawns and makes her way out of the great hall, only to find Sebastian and Ominis hastily walking out together. Sneaking up behind them, she playfully smacks both of their heads, causing them to turn around simultaneously with a pained expression on their faces.

"Now, pray tell, why are you two fleeing so swiftly? I can understand Sebastian, but why are you running, Ominis?" Frost irritably nibbles on the tip of her thumb nail.

"I was afraid of getting slapped along with Sebastian" Ominis rubs his head sheepishly.

Sebastian's eyes dart around nervously as he softly mutters, "Sorry..."

The students nearby burst into laughter, some of them teasingly remarking, "Well, looks like you guys can't get into any more trouble now.” they pointed and laughed while walking by.

Frost smirked, "Now, now, can we go and talk privately, all four of us?"

"Four of us?" Sebastian and Ominis questioned in surprise.

"Yes, I believe the four of us need to have a conversation," a voice chimed in from behind Frost. She stepped aside, revealing Anne.

"Anne..." Sebastian's emotions were a whirlwind of wanting to embrace his sister and feeling unworthy of it. He stood still, watching as Anne hugged Ominis and made her way towards him.

"Brother," Anne spoke softly, "aren't you going to hug your sister?"

"I... I don't deserve such a thing. I can never forgive myself," he replied, his gaze fixed on the ground.

Anne let out a sigh. "You're an idiot, but I can't hate you." She embraced him tightly

Sebastian returned the hug, holding her close. "I'm so sorry... I'm sorry... Please don't leave again."

Frost and Ominis stood side by side, observing the heartfelt reunion. Ominis broke the silence, "So, that's why you stopped to see Anne before coming here?"

"They only have each other as family now, and despite everything, they still love each other. It's rare in families much less pure-blooded families. They should be together, no matter what challenges they face, and overcome them as a united front. Don't you think so?"

"Since when do you care about family?" Ominis teased, amused by Frost's unexpected display of family relationships.

"Don't start with me, you blind snake. I see you three as my family, and I don't like seeing you apart," Frost retorted, her voice filled with genuine affection.

" we really needed you last year, everything was just getting worse, I didn't know what to do with myself and with how everything was going.." Ominis

"I'm sorry, my family was going through a shift in leadership roles, didn't think it would take so long nor did I think things would change so drastically" she sighed

"Things seem to change a the blink of an eye" he says with a mischievous smirk

"I don't know how to feel hearing that come from a blind man" she teased. Both giggling. " Now my little snakes, I have missed you and we need to have an important chat before curfew"

Anne and Sebastian parted from their hug,both of them wiping tears from their eyes. The four of them going to the Undercroft and went over everything that happened, Frost yelling at Sebastian a few times for going into things blind, and telling the new girl about the undercroft ,at Ominis from holding back and just watching and even at Anne for getting herself cursed always acting before thinking, it looked like three children being lectured by their mother. And Frost finally added that Anne's curse is lifted and she'd be back at Hogwarts this year.

Sebastian turned to Frost, his eyes filled with curiosity. "Anne is cured, but how?" he asked, eager to understand the mysterious solution that had saved her.

Frost smiled, "It took us quite some time to unravel the nature of the curse," she explained. "Once Ominis revealed that it wasn't a goblin's doing, finding a solution became much easier. It was actually my grandmother who managed to break the curse."

Sebastian's face lit up with relief and joy. "That's wonderful!" he exclaimed, feeling a wave of gratitude towards Frost and thankful her grandmother helped. But amidst his happiness, Sebastian couldn't help but feel overwhelmed by the mistakes he had made.

Sensing his distress, Anne stepped forward and embraced him tightly. "I made mistakes too," she confessed, her voice filled with remorse. "This curse and my blindly listening to uncle, it caused me to lose myself. I'm sorry for not realizing how hard you were trying and for not seeing the burden you carried. Uncle's influence didn't help either, but even so..."

Sebastian interrupted her, his voice tinged with pain. "I know," he said, his words heavy with regret. "I can't undo what I did, and I have to live with the consequences."

As the four of them concluded their conversation and left the undercroft, Paris, who had been observing from the corner, couldn't help but wonder why neither Sebastian nor Ominis had mentioned Frost and why is Anne here?. She continued to watch them closely, her curiosity piqued.

Meanwhile, Ominis and Anne walked away together, leaving Frost and Sebastian standing side by side, their proximity suggesting a closeness she'd never seen from Sebastian. Paris strained her ears, but their conversation remained out of her reach.

Sebastian stood nervously in front of Frost, his body language betraying his unease. He scratched his head, desperately trying to find the right words to say. "Ash... My fairy, are you going to keep yelling at me? Is it possible for me to hug you? It's been a while, and I've missed you."

Frost let out a sigh before leaping up to embrace him. "You fucking idiot, you've gotten taller," she exclaimed, a mix of annoyance and affection in her voice.

Sebastian chuckled softly, lifting her up and holding her tightly. "I'm finally taller than you," he teased, playfully spinning her around.

"Hey, enough of this. Put me down! What if someone sees us? I'll die of embarrassment," she protested, clinging onto his neck for dear life. He gently placed her back on the ground and kissed her forehead, causing her to gasp in surprise. "You flirt," she playfully hit his chest, making him laugh. "Is this how you wooed that new girl?"

Sebastian felt a wave of embarrassment wash over him. "No, I didn't touch her... maybe just some light flirting in conversation," he stammered, desperately searching for excuses. Frost pouted and pinched his cheeks. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry... I was lonely and going through a lot. I know I shouldn't make excuses. I just wanted to feel like someone understood me and that I wasn't alone"

"And does she? understand you, did you feel like you have someone " Frost asked, her irritation evident in her voice.

"At first yes, but no... it was a mistake, trying so hard with everything" Sebastian admitted, his voice filled with regret. Frost took his hand in hers.

"Let's not make any more mistakes, shall we, little sunflower?" she said, her tone softening.

"Yes, that would be for the best. And just so you know, I'm not little anymore," Sebastian responded, a hint of determination in his voice.

Frost looked up at Sebastian's face, taking in his taller stature, deeper voice, and undeniable handsomeness with a boyish charm. "I don't like it," she confessed. I bet I'm going to have problems with girls this year. "But I'll get used to it," she added with a smirk, trying to hide the fact that she was quite pleased with the changes in him.

Sebastian grinned, relieved "Good. Because I've missed you so much, Ash. I can't even begin to describe how much I've missed my stubborn, protective fairy."

Frost rolled her eyes playfully. "Oh, so you missed my nagging and constant scolding, huh?"

He nodded, a genuine smile on his face. "Yes, every bit of it. You're the only one who keeps me grounded, who challenges me and keeps me in check. And I need that, I really do"

Frost's teasing demeanor softened, and she pulled Sebastian into another tight embrace. "I'm here for you, always. No matter how many mistakes you make, no matter how much time has passed, I will always be there, Sebastian."

Sebastian closed his eyes and held onto Frost tightly, feeling a sense of comfort and belonging wash over him. In that moment, he realized the depth of their bond, and how lucky he was to have someone like Frost in his life. As they stood there, wrapped in each other's arms, time seemed to stand still. They had reunited, and their friendship was stronger than ever. Sebastian knew he had made mistakes, but with Frost by his side, he was determined to learn from them and become a better person.

After a moment had passed, Sebastian released his grip on Frost and cleared his throat, feeling a wave of embarrassment wash over him.

"We should make our way back," he suggested, his voice slightly shaky. "Allow me to accompany you to your tower, my lady." Sebastian extended his arm, and she gracefully accepted it, causing a faint blush to creep onto his cheeks. As they strolled along, he couldn't help but admire her transformation over the past year; she had become even more stunningly beautiful.

Sensing his gaze, Frost playfully remarked, "My figure has become more alluring, hasn't it?"

Sebastian's face turned crimson, and he stammered, "Here we are, your tower, my lady. I shall see you in the morning." With a nervous gulp, he hurriedly made his exit, leaving behind the sound of Frost's laughter echoing in the distance.

Paris had been trailing behind Sebastian and Frost, catching snippets of their conversation. But that wasn't what caught her attention. It was the way Sebastian behaved around Frost that bothered her. He was charming with his words, but he never made any physical contact or got too close to her, just looking at how he was treating this girl differently than he treated her.

"Is this why Ominis warned me to sort out my feelings and make sure I don't regret creating distance between us? Damn it... I had no idea some random girl would just show up out of nowhere."

Paris snapped out of her thoughts and noticed Sebastian turning red from blushing. She had never seen him blush before, and it infuriated her. Walking away from the scene in disgust, she made her way back to Gryffindor, feeling a mix of anger and disappointment.

#sebastian x oc #sebastian sallow #hogwarts legacy #ominis gaunt #anne sallow #fan fiction #ominis x anne #hogwarts legacy fanfic #sebastian #hogwarts legacy headcanons

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rosabienfuerte · 9 months

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do you know, how can someone gain more confidence in their art?

Wow... This is such a strong question, i will do my best to answer. I cannot say i *know*, but, this is what i think, and the conclusions i've arrived to over time:

I think it's about losing shame. To a degree, shame is necessary for our human growth, and is there to propel us towards change and betterment. But it can also prevent you from truly, fully living life in this world.

Confidence & shamelessness are learnable skills like anything else... It's important to always seek growth while also understanding that, ultimately, making art isnt something you should torture yourself with

Learning technical artistic skill can bring you confidence, i think. It is a tool to broaden your abilities. so you can make what you want to make. My thoughts on this have changed over the years. Skill is also not the ultimate goal. And it is also not possible to "reach" a final point in this, you always have more to learn , if the world didnt work this way nothing would make sense, it's what makes learning and curiosity so thrilling.

The reason why we make stuff is just to make it. Its a natural human behaviour. Singing, dancing, painting, talking, storytelling, etc etc etc , at the end of the day, this is to nurture our souls, it's something that's coming out directly out of your being , your skills, your relationships to the world, the things you see and experience , and is beautifully valuable in its own way no matter what..

it is possible to learn, practice and become better at 'LOOSENESS'. Being free with your hands and what youre making. The way to do this is to just make. Make a lot. And push yourself out towards what youre a little scared of. I don't know what art you make, or how, so this is something you can know yourself..

It also has to do with just, general confidence, in your day to day life. I'm still carrying a lot of shame myself, so i dont have at all an expert solution i can give you. I often feel terribly shameful even about just standing there in front of people. I really admire those who speak in public or act or do theatre or any kind of performance where you have to put your face-voice-body in such a vulnerable visible position. It's incredible. The same way someone can be at a party, dance terrible, but still be greatly charismatic because they just don't care, because theyre just having fun. As opposed to the effect of doing something shamefully.. it is possible to reach a point of seeking perfection that just becomes a joyless burden. We are always capable of more. Discomfort is a door to the endless possibilities of this world. And there should be joy in this. Not all the time, of course. But becoming too severe can backfire, you know? We should enjoy ourselves.

I'm sure putting yourself in those situations can be a way to just not care of how youre coming across. This is all just me assuming this is ask is about shame and self perception or fear.. if you meant it in some other way, let me know..

Like anything else, confidence can be learned, and as a human being you are fully capable of doing that, never convince yourself otherwise, none of your self is "FIXED" in place

I hope at least some of this helps you in some way, and i wish you the best. I've witnessed loved ones rid themselves of shame in such a beautiful transformation. A friend in highschool was so so overcome by fear and embarrassment and i watched her slowly become more and more comfortable with making art again after years of not doing so at all. It was so beautiful. At the end of the day we are all here to enjoy this life, so, have a good day, I love you, good luck 💗💗💗

#And thank you for sending this. It made me remember some really important things.#asks #anonymous

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sakumz · 1 year

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Nnatsume please... stares...

𓂃𓈒𓂃𓈒𓂃𓈒𓂃𓈒𓂃𓈒𓂃𓈒𓂃𓈒𓂃𓈒𓂃𓈒𓂃𓈒𓂃𓈒𓂃𓈒𓂃𓈒𓂃𓈒𓂃𓈒

₊˚ʚ ᗢ₊˚✧ ﾟ. [ s. natsume x gn reader ]

warning❗: slight ooc

genre 𑁍 : fluff

wc ⚘ :ㅤ

a/n ꕤ : ( ˶ • ༝ • ) stares back 𓂃𓈒𓂃𓈒𓂃𓈒𓂃𓈒𓂃𓈒𓂃𓈒𓂃𓈒𓂃𓈒𓂃𓈒𓂃𓈒𓂃𓈒𓂃𓈒𓂃𓈒𓂃𓈒𓂃𓈒

you can't help but let out sigh after sigh as natsume stares at you from across the table. what's gotten you in distress? the answer to such question at the moment was the undying amount of works you've gotten. you promised to take a break, days before and yet the works you've longed to do were about to be due soon.

natsume being the supportive bf he's supposed to be, agreed to help you as long as you did take a few day breaks and by that he means doing absolutely no work and only fun and relaxing for you. you did enjoy the day breaks he planned but all good things come to an end. how did tsumugi even managed his own works at hand?

" quit zoning out, let's finish this paper and go home, " natsume says as he takes the paper he was currently working on to put in the completed paper stack you've made.

" natsume... you can go off first if you need to be somewhere, there's only three stacks left and I can complete it by myself... " natsume looks at you, baffled and offended. he offer help and you're chasing him out? do you not believe in his works?

" no can't do, if you want to finish all three I'll help you. it was my fault you're now locked into doing all these papers when you could've done it days ago, " looking at him stunned, what did you do to deserve such a kind gentleman. letting out a few giggles as you label natsume as your knight in shining armour, he can't help but be confused by your sudden attitude.

a good hour has passed and you're finally done, all you got to do was to drop off the papers at the council room and then you can walk home with natsume. the walk from there to out the school was quiet, natsume trailing behind you.

" now kitten, don't you think I deserve a little reward? " he points to his lips as you let a smile crept up to your lips, knowing all too well he does deserve the kiss for being somewhat more helpful than usual.

getting on your tip toes to plant a kiss to his lips, it was short yet magical as always. natsume was about to peck you once more when you both heard a few whistling and then cheering from behind you both. looking back, it was trickstar.

he can't help but blush and you turning a familiar shade as well, what's wrong with displaying such acts in public? let alone it was embarrassing when someone caught you in the act.

" wow! didn't know you had it in ya, to kiss your lover out in the open, " mao says as natsume glares at him. he's the one giving you a hard time by giving you a lot of work.

" hey now, aren't you the one with no first kiss yet... unless- " you say but makoto quickly wrap his hand around your lips, shushing you.

" no I do not kiss ritsu, nor has I kiss any of my friends! " everyone couldn't help but laugh at the sudden mao outburst.

" aren't you the one giving y/n a hard time? shall I cast a spell to make sure you'll never get a kiss? " natsume threats.

" thinking about it now, yeah almost every work he could possibly hand over to someone he does think of y/n first, " hidaka spoke up.

" hmm does sally like y/n too? " subaru chimes in, getting the group to stare at him.

" I doubt that's the case, " makoto replies to subaru.

" no I don't have any lingering feelings for y/n! don't jump to weird conclusions... I only gave them plenty of works because uhhh- "

" the council president hates me, " you faked cry, natsume couldn't help but pat your back to comfort you as he glares daggers back to mao.

" no it's not like that! you're always teasing me and- well I'll just lessen your burden from now... didn't know I've been giving you loads of work. besides, most works are for switch anyways, " mao mumbles the last part. leaving you and natsume to think of a counter.

#ensemble stars x reader #sakumz.pdf #ensemble stars #enstars x reader #esworks #sakasaki natsume x reader

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polaroidcats · 6 months

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It just hit me. For part 2 of assigning german/austrian songs to the marauders, this time with Remus:

Egoist by Falco.

You know it's true.

(This is the only Remus bashing you will ever get from me, he is my babygirl and he has never done anything wrong in his life ever)

Oh wow okay I didn't know I'd be coming home to Remus bashing in my inbox today but here we are! Why are you calling him an egoist? Just because he abandoned his pregnant (so very straight) wife (so very straightly) and didn't take responsibility for that until a 17 year old kicked his ass? Idk what you're on about, that's a weird AU, Remus would never do that.

I see your Falco and I raise you: Junge Römer. You know Sirius played that song on repeat for like a week and thought he was the funniest person ever because of Remus's name.

Also I should note, I'm a bit tipsy (ON REMUS WINE!) atm so this is NOT the official German Remus playlist, this is the shitpost version of the official German Remus playlist, here we go, no thoughts just vibes:

Okayokay I'm thinking abt austrian music now and since we're pretty much the only 2 people invested in these playlists anyways I won't worry about the musicians being well known or not (though I'd love to know which of these you knew and which you didn't!).

May I sugesst Wolfgang Amrbos' Die Kinettn wo i schlof as homeless Remus Lupin's crying song. I feel a bit bad about putting this on the list because the song is genuinely so good and emotional and it made me cry when I was a child (I grew up listening to Ambros) but yeah. Uhm. No further explanation, also idek if you'll understand the dialect lol

DIALECT! When making the german Sirius list one of my Remus thoughts was what the german equivalent to welsh/scottish remus is and I've come to the conclusion that the obvious answer is Vorarlberg. SO obviously Vo Melo Bis Ge Schoppornou has to be included on the list. No I don't understand much either but it's still german (and imho one of the sexiest german accents, I said what I said).

Ham kummst is toxic wolfstar divorce AU core!!!!

Okay this one is actually a serious (lol) suggestion I think Remus would actually really like and relate to Sie mögen sich by Kätpn Peng! ALso maybe Tier by Käptn Peng?

Meine Sonne by Grossstadtgeflüster as angsty REMUS POV either poa era or first war or sth

Also I know this is officially the inofficial Remus list but i had another galaxy brain idea - Aurélie by Wir sind Helden is a song about french Sirius in an AU of our german marauders AU.

oKAAAY ANYWAYS BACK TO AUSTRIAN MUSIC Ich Lebe by Christl Stürmer is also a Remus/wolfstar song now, because I said so.

sepp haT gesagT wir müssen alles anzünden is just pure chaos marauders vibes tell me I'm wrong.

okayyy back to remus Irgendwann bleib I dann dort by STS is also Remus. ANd Gö, du bleibst heut nacht bei mir is needy Remus in a werid fwb situation with remus or sth idk

ALso since I've given up any pretense of choosing things that make sense I also suggest 1001 Nacht is about wolfstar friends to lovers slowburn. YOU KNOW IT'S TRUE

Okay also I just wanted to add something by AnnenMayKantereit because why not, and I'm sure there are better songs but I decided on 21,22,23 purely because of the youth/death themes and bc Jily died at 21 and Remus and Sirius died in their mid-late thirties.

okay now i made myself sad i need one more nonsense answwer and then i'll post this glorious completely coherent masterpiece

I was going to go with LaFee for a tasteful last song but then spotify suggested Tokio Hotel and who am I to disagree?! you can't tell me angsty early 2000s german teenage werewolf remus lupin DIDN'T listen to them, I'm sorry but he really felt the lyrics of Durch den Monsun.

yeah idek what this is i'm sure it's EXACTLY what you expected (lol) uhm i blame the remus wine. Any thoughts on the playlist??

#iek what to tag this as LOL #remus lupin #german marauders agenda #neongreenllama #i look forward to doing an actual real version of this with you soon though!!!!#but doing the shitpost version was way too much fun to not do it #if you have any real or shitpost additions pls add them <3 #ramblings #just be glad i didnt put atemlos on the list it was a close call #also there isnt any EAV but i almost added some #you know this list couldve been so much worse even when i think of it #chaos posting

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