#i've been falling behind in all my classes due to the sleep thing so writing for fun has totally been off the table lol | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

anime-corner · 3 years

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I'm Here | Oikawa T.

A/N: Hey guys! I'm back (hopefully for longer since classes are about to end). Anyways, this one's a bit shorter than usual. I hope you like it!

"Yahoo! Knock, knock~ Sorry, practice finished later than usual!" Oikawa called out but was only greeted by darkness, "(n/n)-chan?"

The house was still, not a single noise was heard. Oikawa doubted that you would leave without texting him, it was practically tradition to crash at your place every after school. He looked around, stealing a loaf of bread before heading upstairs. Dim lights could be seen from under the closed door as Oikawa turned the knob, inviting himself in as usual.

"Hey, Iwa-chan told me that-- what are you doing typing, er writing, whatever it is you're doing in the dark?!" He bellowed, flicking the light switch on. A hiss escaped your lips as you momentarily closed your eyes to adjust to the lighting.

"Shut up, Tooru. I'm kind of busy at the moment so if you don't mind, I'd like to finish all of this tonight." His eyes glanced over at the stack of papers on your left as your right hand hovered on top of another, gripping on a pencil tightly. Your left hand was typing away as fast as it could.

"What's all these? Haven't you finished the assignment yesterday?"

"Well, yes but, this one's for the student council. I need to file a report and it needs to be passed at midnight." You then gestured towards the paper, a bit crumpled with the many times you wrote the wrong formula, "And this is for Monday's class presentation."

"And these?" He pointed towards the stack of papers.

"That's…" You blinked a couple of times before responding, "I think it's the ones from the council three days ago that I haven't checked yet. Anyways, I'll handle that after I'm done with this."

"How many hours of sleep did you even get?" He asked.

"What? I don't think my sleep schedule has anything to do with this, Tooru." You answered, not taking your eyes off of your work.

"Just tell me." Oikawa insisted, sitting on your bed as he stared at you.

"Fine. Around two or so? I'll give it a three since I've been running on coffee since I woke up." His brows furrowed, worry etched on his face if only you took the time to look at him.

"That's not good, (n/n)-chan. Come on, I'll finish that." You shook your head, still not lifting your gaze away.

"No way, you had practice just minutes ago! I'm perfectly capable of finishing these within the day if you just so let me. Now shush-- hey!"

"I mean it, (y/n)." You huffed as you glared at him, "You need your sleep. I'll wake you up before dinner."

"What? No! I can't, Tooru!" You protested, standing up from your seat as you felt a slight pain from your head. You shook it off as nothing, "Tachibana-sensei's breathing down my neck saying she'd be the reason why I wouldn't be graduating this year."

"You still have a day to go before classes start again on Monday. You don't need to rush everything today--"

"Haven't you been listening? The report is due tonight. These," You gestured towards the stack of papers, "Might as well be due at the same time. And after this one, I've also got to revise my notes. I'm falling behind, Tooru and I don't want to hear anything from my mother once I move back."

"You won't (y/n), trust me. You're the smartest girl I know in school and probably the busiest one. I'm sure she'd be proud of you--"

"You see, that's not enough. I need to get my grades up, a bit higher than now." You countered. You retorted, huffing in annoyance at how the setter wouldn’t leave you all alone.

"You don't need to. What you need is to calm down a bit. You know that--"

"Will you stop it, Tooru!? You just don't get it, do you?! My parents thought that I would get into Shiratorizawa and what did I do? Fail the exam!" You bellowed, standing up from your seat as the male stepped back a bit. You stood up, voice raised as Oikawa stepped back, "My mom wanted me to at least be at the top during my first and second year, to at least in her words, redeem myself. But I failed on that too. Now, you're telling me to calm down? To take a break? Well, I can't. I've got my family's voices screaming at me saying I should do better! Do you know how--"

"You're crying, (y/n)..." Oikawa whispered as he placed a hand on your cheek, his thumb wiping away the tears. You lightly pushed him back, rubbing your way with your sleeves. He pointed out. A hand lay on your cheek as his thumb wiped away a tear, you pushed him away after, wiping it away with your hands.

"S-shut up. I'm not crying. Just… leave me alone for today, Tooru. I'm really busy and I can't afford to let all of my hard work turn to dust."

"I'll help you."

"For the last time, I--" He cut you off.

"Just let me help!" He was already frustrated seeing the girl he adored so much struggling with her life.

He knew of her problem with her parents and most importantly, he knew the conflict she had with herself. He knew that feeling more than ever. And he didn't want her to feel the same way he did during that time.

And he was afraid that, while it might not cost her a knee, she might lose so much more if she continues. Perhaps, her eyesight or her health. Worst case, her life. And he wasn't going to let her get to that point.

"If Iwa-chan was here, he'd know what to do… but he isn't. And I don't want to disturb him too. I'm just trying my best to help you, because I understand, I understand you the most out of everyone," He walked closer, enveloping you in a hug as the two of you sat on the floor, "You just want to prove something but, you're all fed up about everything. You're trying your best but I guess, to others, that's not good enough."

Tears slowly dripped down from your face once again as you buried your head on his chest, gripping on his jacket, "Why can't you leave me alone, Tooru? I don't care if you get me… I just want to be left alone."

"I'm staying, (y/n) and that's final. I'm not going to let you carry that burden all by yourself anymore. I'm here, remember? I'll help you," Oikawa whispered in your ear as he caressed your back, "You're, besides Iwaizumi, the one I treasure the most. I care about you and I don't want you to suffer like this when I know that I could have tried and saved you from it."

"Why?" That one question made him silent for a while as you looked up at him.

"I… it's because…" He sighed, making you somewhat dread and anticipate the answer at the same time, "I love you, you know that? And while this might possibly be-- ah, who am I kidding? It's the worst time possible to tell you this, I don't think that I'll be able to get another chance like this."

"T-Tooru… I…" You started but went silent as he brought his hand up.

"Please hear me out?" He inhaled before opening his mouth again to speak, "I… I want to support you (y/n), the same way you and Iwaizumi did all these years, especially during the time when I overworked my knee. The two of you were always there. So, let me be there for you too."

"It's just not easy when you've been doing everything yourself for most of your life…" You gulped, avoiding his gaze as you clenched your fists tightly.

"I know. But, I really do love you. And I promise that you'll never regret choosing me unlike how I regret eyeing up girls when I knew that you were right in front of me the whole time and they'll never be you. They'll never be as hardworking, caring and overly kind as you. You're perfect and so much more. Because everything means nothing to me if I can have you to call as mine." Oikawa said, moving a strand of your hair away from your face.

"Even the nationals?" You asked, teasing him a bit.

"I… okay, maybe not the nationals. I still want to beat Ushiwaka and all. But that's besides the point," He shook his head, placing his chin on top of your head, "You're amazing and beautiful, even when you think you're not. And I'm really sorry for confessing at the worst time possible. But, believe me when I say that I love you."

"Why are you… confessing now?" Somehow, this question made him think. It's not like he hadn't practiced his answer in the mirror for a million times, making sure it was perfect to his ears. Not at all. But, given the situation, he'd have to abandon that script and start a new one.

"Well, it just pains me to see you doing the same things I did before, even though your academics and my career as a player are two different things, and I thought that if I manage to successfully tell you how I feel, I could somehow help you carry all of this. Because by that time, I would hopefully be your boyfriend." Oikawa spoke genuinely, moving one of his hands from her back to her head, stroking her hair.

"You don't need to be my boyfriend to help me, you know."

"I know that but you just make it so difficult, argh! Everytime I see you frustrated, I just wanna hug you and kiss you and then take over your work while you rest. But I can't do that as a friend! So… so..." Not that he thought about it, what he said sounded stupid, "Yeah, I know. It's a dumb excuse."

"You're an idiot." The third year laughed out loud.

"I know, Iwa tells me that all the time." You lightly hit his shoulder, hiding the smile that was threatening to show, "At least I made you smile right?"

"I guess you did, Tooru. I guess you did." He hummed in satisfaction before something else you couldn't quite figure out what was etched on his face.

"I'm not going to force you to answer my feelings right away, (y/n)-chan. I can wait." He stammered.

"Why wait when I feel the same way? I love you too, Tooru." He perked up suddenly, making you hide the massive blush on your face.

"Wait, really? You're not joking right? (y/n)?" The setter found you fast asleep, whether or not you were faking it, he wouldn't know. He only chuckled, kissing your head, "Alright… I'll let you get some rest. You deserve it."

He carried you over to your bed, tucking you in. His hand lingered on your cheek, a smile on his face as he whispered.

"Dream of me will you, (y/n)-chan?" Oikawa stood up straight, eyes darting towards your mess of a desk, "Now… which one did she say she needed by midnight?"

Let me hold your hand and carry the same burden you hold. I'll always be here, even if you push me away.

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shadowturtlesstuff · 3 years

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Enchanted

finally finished this!!! im so happy with it, and will be writing it in thomas’s pov as soon as possible and perhaps part 2?

Sleep evades me. My mind keeps returning to last night, specifically to a certain person I had met last night. I pull the covers higher, burying my head as I finally gave into my wandering mind.

I stand alone, needing a break from my aunt Amelia. The music was beautiful, a soft sound that filled the entire room. The party itself was decorated in a magical way, the columns in the building encompassed in vines, the tables with floral centrepieces. It was a mixture of whimsy and magic, yet no one seemed happy to be here. Everyone I spoke to was forcing smiles, men faked laughter as they believed this was not a party but a way to make business deals and enforce their own reputation. It was absurd how no one was just admiring the effort people put into making this perfect. It was the same every month, I'd walk to the edge of the room and watch. To calm my nerves, to explore the different flower pieces, the musicians and the flickering candles from the chandelier. The gowns women wore only once to try and show their wealth, whilst I tended to wear the same, as it fit the magical atmosphere this room desperately tried to make people see, yet they were too blind by their greed, the need to prove themselves to everyone to just simply stand back and enjoy themselves.

My cousin Liza seemed to be in conversation with Dacina, the host of the party, someone I had spoken to a few times, each being more enjoyable. Her calming demeanour and charm always lifted my spirits. Her family organizes this ball once a month, her father hates it but makes a lot of business so it is always left to her to plan and design it. With the help of Illeana and lots of their servants they always make this place ethereal. Her brother, Thomas Cresswell, only ever shows up for a few hours then leaves, only being able to handle the faking niceties for so long. Dacina told me of his tolerance, or lack thereof, to society. She speaks highly of her brother, as I once did, yet I have never met Mr.Cresswell.

The varnished wooden floor slowly gathers marks as couples danced. How I longed to be one of those dancers, being swivelled by someone I loved. They would look at me as if I was the most magical thing in the room, with a soft smile and adoration in every word he whispers to me. I would be his equal as we spun around, the world fading into nothing as we held each other. Alas, those dreams are not likely for someone cruel enough to carve the dead.

I snap out of my fantasy as a group of older men walk towards the buffet near me. They talk loud enough so everyone can hear, shockingly talking about work. I roll my eyes at them and look away back to the dance floor. The lights above cast shadows, making the scene feel like my imagination as I sit by a fireplace to read a romance novel. If this was a novel, there would be my love interest here, watching and finding the courage to say something. There are families at the table, children clinging to mothers as the men sit and discuss whatever. My father, uncle and aunt sit together in a seemingly civil conversation. I look for Liza again, deciding I should probably stop brooding in the corner but as I look for her my attention keeps going back to the men at the buffet. Not by choice, but by their obnoxious decision to shout their conversation.

“A woman led the strike, ridiculous, she had to go,” I heard an oldish man say, followed by murmurs of agreement, “these strikes are out of hand, demanding we pay more, absurd notions.” The man is none other than Mr. Birling, a notoriously cold hearted man, much like dacianas father apparently, both of whom value money rather than people. Even their own families. The group of men who looked the same as him, slightly wrinkled face, greyish hair, miserable faces with hints of conniving schemes being plotted against each other. Friends until one of them was earning more money and was more successful, then they were enemies again.

The men were in a heated discussion about their business and from what I can dissect from their ramblings is that they fully believe themselves to be hard working men, a rarity these days, and they must do what is necessary for their companies. Meaning, budget cuts, strikes from workers, firing people, and any horrible decision in the name of money. I refrain from rolling my eyes, or going over to berate them.

“Mr. Birling would not know what a hard day's work is.” someone says quietly behind me. His voice is smooth, confident, and whilst I agree due to what I have learnt about the birling family and the conversation I had just overheard, I still wouldn't say it aloud with him being this close. Not that he pays any attention to anyone but ‘hard working men’.

I turn my head slightly, the man behind me is tall, a smirk playing at his lips. His suit is finely tailored in a dark grey, with a peach tie. He takes a step forwards and stands at my side, staring out into the crowd, a glass of half drunk champagne in his hand. I return my gaze to the crowd. “Whatever makes you think that, surely you heard him talk about how much he works,” I try to suppress my own smirk and I also sneak a glance at the strange man. He merely takes a sip of his champagne.

“Right of course, his words, I shall listen more closely next time.”

“As you should. You wouldn't want to misinterpret someone's work ethic and make a fool of yourself in front of a stranger.”

“You consider me a fool now?” he turns to me now, hands pressed against his chest in fake offence. His brown eyes meet mine as I face him. His sharp cheekbones feel familiar, but I can't place where from.

“Yes. how could you consider someone such as Mr Birling, a man with such talent and tolerance of others, a man who clearly built his company and was not handed it by his father, how could you with a straight face imply he doesn’t know hard work.” we stare at each other for a few seconds, then burst out laughing. He has such a pure laugh, we seem to be the only sound in the room. People around us stop and stare, upset two people are having fun at a party. The stranger leans against one of the columns, disrupting the vines slightly. Yet he doesn't seem to care, as he slowly starts to regain his composure from our outburst.

Mr. Birling is one of the men looking at us with full disdain. He perceives us as two kids who do not understand life, he specifically tells his accountant that there is something wrong with us if the rumours are to be believed. Children of science. Outrageous. Especially a girl. A girl, not a woman. I ignore his pathetic whining, intent on not letting him ruin my night and return my focus to the stranger. Who, I realise, is someone who enjoys science. His face is more solemn now, having also overheard Mr.Birling. He quickly recovers and plasters a smirk on his face, a spark shines in his eye and I can already tell this won't be good.

“I want to meet this ‘girl’ who led the strike, perhaps she could use some help. I mean, all they ask is fair pay,”

“But fair pay is absurd. Completely and utterly absurd. Why should the wealthy share their wealth to those who ensure it.” he finishes for me. The men that run this world will end up being the reason it fails. We share a look, full of understanding and he lets out a sigh. Now we're talking about work and politics at a party.

“Aside from those charming men, how are you enjoying the party?” He gestures to the men around us and I snort. Charming was one word for them. Being with him and trading remarks felt like passing notes to each other, telling secrets during class even though we are meant to be listening to the teacher. I can't help but think I know him, and by the look in his own face he knows me. Perhaps we met but didn't have time for a full conversation like we are now.

“Mostly entertaining, the place is spectacular as always, the people are..” I searched for a word to describe the people, as well as my family. I love them dearly but they can be insufferable. “An interesting mix. My family is dramatic, so I escaped to the edge to peace and quiet, which apparently isn't possible. "I give him a pointed look but he takes no notice.

“My family is also dramatic, and I came for peace myself but found myself captivated by you, specifically how you watched the crowd, listening, and how you curled your fists in an attempt not to go and publicly humiliate the poor man. Which, by the way, I think you should've. Would've made the whole thing worth it.” He takes a sip of his champagne and I nearly roll my eyes at him. Of course he'd want that. From what I can tell he isn't someone who enjoys society and has no problem saying it. I also think about the families in attendance and which of those are dramatic. The only person I can think of is Darci's brother, whom I've not met but heard about his nature over wine with her.

“If I was merely standing here minding my business would you still have found me captivating enough to talk to me? Or is my appeal in my anger?”

He downs the rest of the drink and straightens himself taking a step towards me. I cross my arms, impatient but he gives me a soft smile. “I've been trying to get the courage to talk to you for months, I always see you here at the edge, always. My eyes find you instantly in any crowd. Transfixed, captivating. It was an added bonus to me when I saw the fierce nature in your eyes up close, I knew I was right to want to befriend you.”

Silence falls as we both take in his words. I feel bad, not being able to figure out who he is. His honesty is admirable and makes me smile, as well as blush. I can feel heat rise to my cheeks. Just as I begin to rectify the situation by asking for his name, a man comes behind

me, he’s around 40 probably, and looks at me horrendously in an attempt at a smile. I recognised him from earlier, he's one of the men that spoke with Mr Birling and that alone makes me instantly want to recoil.

“Can I help you sir?” I asked and I can hear my own clipped words, yet somehow he does not. The smile widens and he looks me up and down. Then he offers his hand to me and I realise he wants to dance. With a woman half his age, that he has never met.

“Miss Wadsworth, dance with me?” more of a common than a question. Since I am already highly aware he doesn’t like when females have opinions or say no, I refrain from rolling my eyes and just walking off from him. Instead I take a step back, so I'm by my new friend’s side and smile widely.

“I'm afraid I already promised the darling Wadsworth a dance, we are just finishing our drinks first.” As if to prove my point he drinks the last of his drink, mostly to hide his smirk. Something else the man doesn't seem to notice. His face drops, but his pride makes him believe he can stand there, waiting for me to run to him. There is an awkward silence until I feel hands reach down and take mine, they are warm and make me jump slightly at the contact. Not in a bad way, not in the way I would have if it had been the man in front of me with his gaze like fire as he looks at our joined hands as though he has a right to be mad about it. I feel my own fire burn as he stares, so I tug his hand away from the man. I need to just escape into the dreamlike nature of the dancefloor, as well as thank my saviour and learn his name.

He leads me to the dance floor, nearer the edge and his hands slip down to my waist as I find his shoulders. His touch is hesitant but reassuring. Somehow he looks calm and terrified, as though he never expected to dance with me but never wants to stop. I can't help but feel the same as we begin to move. My skirt swirls around us and we say nothing for a while as we both calm ourselves and let the music envelope us. In a way, this is as close to my daydreaming as I might ever get. Being here on the dance floor with someone who isn't twice my age and the definition of misogyny. We dance as equals, neither of us truly leading but letting each other float around each other. We're sure of our movements and demand nothing from each other. It is a weird calmness that settles. We are strangers as far as i know, and yet we dance as though we have known each other our entire lives.

“You are a delight, miss Wadsworth.” he breaks the silence, somehow louder than the music for me, yet it's quiet. Almost like he didn't mean to say it aloud.

“How do you know me?” my voice matches and i feel bad asking, but i need to know. My tone is not accusing, and his face only burrows in confusion for a second before he smirks at me. A smirk I'm seeming to become familiar with.

“My sister Dacina speaks highly of you.” my eyes must expand as he laughs softly. That's why I recognized him. He has the same structure as Dacina, sharp cheekbone and soft skin. Perfect complexion.

“So you are the infamous Thomas cresswell?” this time I smirk and his eyes widen.

“Infamous? What on earth have you heard of me?”

“Your sister has lots of opinions on you.”

“Of course she does. Whatever she has said is most likely not true.” He blurts out and I laugh at his relationship with his sister and him wanting to impress me. “Unless she told you I am utterly irresistible, charming, quick witted and incredibly smart.” winking at me he sends me into a surprising spin and my hands land on his chest. We've sped up slightly, yet our heartbeats are both faster than necessary and I can see a hint of a blush creeping up on his cheeks.

“She did mention you have an overly large ego. She'll be happy to know I agree with her.” I feel his hands tighten at my waist slightly and I watch his curls fall down in his face as he shakes his head. I'm delighted by this turn of events. Daci is wonderful, and if this is the Thomas that I get to see, not his reputation, then I shall try and keep this in my life for as long as possible. His spark in his eyes shows how he may think the same. Also, if daci, liza and ileana are with Thomas, then i might have the most fun I've ever had in my life.

His voice slides through my thoughts, but also reinforces them. “I am sure she failed to mention how big of an ego she has. Honestly, Darci is worse than I. Have you met Illeana? She will surely agree with me on this.”

“I'm sure she would, I've also heard you are a scientist, what do you study?”

“The dead. Much like you and your uncle.” There is so much certainty in his voice, no resentment or the usual tone I hear so I gift him an earnest smile.

The song ends, and we stand, hands still on each other for a second longer than we should. Just as I go to remove my hands from his chest I feel him pinch my sides lightly. Then his warm hands slip from my waist and I wish more than anything to dance again.

We go to return back to the column near the buffet, where we first spoke, and as I take a step I feel him move so he's pressed at my back, his hands finding mine. Even though we are gloved, even though no one can see our hands due to how close we are, and how many people are moving about, my heart pounds at his bold nature. I adore it, so I squeeze him and keep my head facing forward as I lead him off the dance floor. We settle back, Thomas letting go of my hand to pick up two glasses of champagne and hands me one. We both take a long sip, perhaps settling our brains or making it worse. Well see.

“You look,” he pauses, as if trying to find the right words, brows furrowed slightly as if he was reading a dictionary, “enchanting.” he finally finishes, gifting me a rare smile it seems. No longer does he smirk at me, but shows me a genuine look that I want to have painted as it is the best thing I have witnessed. Heat rises to my cheeks as I look down at my dress. Someone at least understood what I was going for, with a pale peach colour, sparkling bodice that runs along the length of the skirt. The long sleeves adorned with tiny gemstones, golden to match the accented colours of the hall. In response to Thomas I look back up at him with my own genuine smile, perhaps some of the only true smiles to be shared this evening. His suit fits him perfectly, showing off his defined features, his tie a pale peach as well. I assume Dacina helps him, as her dresses always astound me with the details. There are tiny, miniscule gems on his tie, that snake down and remind me of vines.

“You look,” I act the way he did, scanning my brain for something that fits, handsome or charming doesn't do justice but I'm sure whatever I use will only boost his ego and be used against me, so I settle with: “bedazzling.”

“Bedazzling?”

“Thomas, I study the dead, I have to look closer than one should at things, so of course I noticed your tie. Henceforth: bedazzling.” The air shifts back to our teasing tone and he smirks once again.

“You are the only one to notice, except Daci of course, nothing gets past her. Am I correct in assuming you like the tie?” Despite his teasing I feel a hint of worry as if I wouldn’t like his tie.

“I adore the tie cresswell, everyone here should be weaning ties with tiny jewels.”

His face falls as he scans the crowd, eyes narrowing slightly as he takes in the groups of men. “I cannot tell if you are being serious with me or not, but I agree nonetheless. The men here are awfully drab, boring, plain. It's insulting to us really. Daci puts so much time into making this beautiful and these people do not see it.” He is shaking his head. I agree, I have heard how much work goes in and despite my effort to help she insists that I do nothing but enjoy the party. I have a sneaking suspicion though that Liza helps. The flower centrepieces are her favourite, and whilst that might be a coincidence I know how stubborn and convincing she can be.

“I do. I love her parties. I always find myself standing here, watching and noticing all the changes from the month prior. Like, last month she went for more of a red theme, with red roses as the centrepieces, little red accented chairs and carpets. Whereas this month is more of a forestry vine, hence the vines around the column.” I point as though they are a secret thing you need to search for even though they are obvious. Yet he turns anyway and runs his finger down the length of it with his adorable face set at a soft smile. Thomas might have been there when she got the idea, or placed them or he might have placed them himself and is now remembering it.

My gaze finds Thomas and he looks at me, baffled, and I feel the blush creeping back up. It is not the same confused look that I get when I tell people my love of science, but one of intrigue. As if he could listen to me talk forever and not get bored. It's as if he has never thought anyone would notice such things about his family's party. “Enchanting.” is all he whispers to me. Then he clears his throat, an ever so soft shake of his head as though once again the words were meant for him and not us both.

I stare out at the crowd again. I'm sure my family will want to know where I've disappeared to, I normally do not leave them this long. Liza I'm sure will want to know why I danced with Thomas. Yet the thought of leaving him makes my legs leaden and my heart sink and anchor me right next to him. Im completely wonderstruck, and feel ill have a permanent blush, especially when i look at his stupidly handsome face, his quick smirk and small smiles that feel special. It is odd, I've only heard stories, spoken to him briefly and danced, yet I have enjoyed his company immensely and hope this never ends. I want more dances and to steal more smiles to keep forever. I want to make fun of people together, and dance.

I go to steal a glimpse of him, expecting to find him staring at the crowd like I was but his eyes are on me. “I have to leave,” his abrupt words anchor me in an entirely different way, “I mean, I want to stay and I'm sure you want my amazing presence always now Wadsworth but I have to wake early. New job. So, my darling, I shall see you tomorrow.” Thomas hesitates for half a second and begins to walk away. I watch him go and say goodnight to his sister and then leave. His words fill my head. It’s reassuring to know he enjoys my company as much as I do.

I bolt upright in my bed, the lights, music and memories falling away as I focus on the last words he said to me.

I'll see you tomorrow.

What does tomorrow mean? Does it mean he has a job where he thinks I visit? Will he be making an effort to befriend me? Does he know my family? I am so confused. How had I not caught these words sooner? Perhaps he wants to tell me he had a terrible time, that he doesn't like my presence. I'm on my feet without realising, pacing back and forth, the cold air hugging me close. I wish he was in front of me now. I wish he would whisper the words enchanting again. I wish I knew what was happening in a few hours that warranted him saying those four words. I run my hands over my face, untie my hair and let my curls fall over my shoulder, brushing away the colder ever so slightly. I'm ridiculous. Four tiny words sent me spiralling. I climb back into bed, my hair fanning out around me and the blanket returning warmth back into my system. Immediately my mind returns to Thomas, his face forever in my mind. Even if tomorrow could be the last time I see him, there is a chance that it is just the start.

Enchanting…

Those words fill me with confidence that yes, Thomas might become someone special to me. That perhaps our dance sparked something and now all I wish is that I can tell him how enchanting he is.

@fangirling-again @kittycat2187 @goatahoan @city-of-fae @purplecreatorhorsewagon @boredbookwormgirl @goddess-of-writing-wars @loveyatopluto @lovecakeandmore @yikesitsmaddie @bookscressworth @androgynousdeputylawyershoe @fandomtakeover @throneoftsc @the-hoofflepooff

#sjtr #hpd #efh #ctd #cresswell #thomas and audrey rose #Thomas Cresswell #Audrey Rose Wadsworth #audrey rose #kerri maniscalco #enchanted #taylor swift #stalking jack the ripper #Hunting Prince Dracula #escaping from houdini #capturing the devil

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emotionalsupportshelby · 3 years

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So I'm a musical theatre STAN, that and Peaky Blinders... My brand..

Here are some songs that remind me of Peaky Blinders

Solidarity - Billy Elliot: "solidarity solidarity solidarity forever, we're proud to be working class, solidarity forever"

The Money Kept Rolling In - Evita: "And the money kept rolling out in all directions, To the poor, to the weak, to the destitute of all complexions, Now cynics claim a little of the cash has gone astray, But that's not the point my friends"

Good For You - Dear Evan Hansen:(EVERYONE at Tommy in the last scene of 3x6/first scenes in 4x01)

"Does it cross your mind to be slightly sorry? Do you even care that you might be wrong?Was it fun? Well I hope you had a blast while you dragged me along. And you say what you need to say. And you play who you need to play. And if somebody's in your way Crush them and leave them behind, Well I guess if I'm not of use, Go ahead, you can cut me loose, Go ahead now, I won't mind"

Hopelessly Devoted To You - Grease: (Lizzie)

I know I'm just a fool who's willing, To sit around and wait for you, But baby, can't you see there's nothing else for me to do? I'm hopelessly devoted to you

All I've Ever Known - Hadestown: (Tommy after spending the night at Grace's house in 1x5)

All I've ever known is how to hold my own But now I wanna hold you, too You take me in your arms And suddenly there's sunlight all around me, Everything bright and warm, And shining like it never did before, And for a moment I forget, Just how dark and cold it gets

My Shot - Hamilton (Tommy?)

So there will be a revolution in this century, Enter me, he says in parentheses, Don't be shocked when your history book mentions me, I will lay down my life if it sets us free, Eventually, you'll see my ascendancy, Rise up

I imagine death so much it feels more like a memory When's it gonna get me? In my sleep, seven feet ahead of me? If I see it comin', do I run or do I let it be? Is it like a beat without a melody?

Wait For It - Hamilton:.

Love doesn't discriminate, Between the sinners and the saints, It takes and it takes and it takes, And we keep loving anyway, We laugh and we cry and we break, And we make our mistakes, I am the one thing in life I can control, I am inimitable, I am an original

That Would Be Enough - Hamilton (Lizzie)

Look around, look around, Look at where you are, Look at where you started, The fact that you're alive is a miracle, Just stay alive, that would be enough, We don't need a legacy, We don't need money, If I could grant you peace of mind, If you could let me inside your heart, Oh, let me be a part of the narrative, In the story they will write someday, Let this moment be the first chapter, Where you decide to stay

Non-Stop - Hamilton :

How do you write like you're running out of time? (Running out of time?) Write day and night like you're running out of time? (Running out of time?) Every day you fight, like you're running out of time, Like you're running out of time, Are you running out of time? Awwww! How do you write like tomorrow won't arrive?How do you write like you need it to survive?How do you write every second you're alive?Every second you're alive? Every second you're alive?

It's Quiet Uptown - Hamilton

There are moments that the words don't reach, There is suffering too terrible to name, You hold your child as tight as you can, And push away the unimaginable, The moments when you're in so deep, It feels easier to just swim down, The Hamiltons move uptown, And learn to live with the unimaginable

Do You Hear The People Sing - Les Misérables:

Do you hear the people sing? Singing the song of angry men? It is the music of the people Who will not be slaves again! When the beating of your heart, Echoes the beating of the drums, There is a life about to start When tomorrow comes!

Someone Gets Hurt - Mean Girls:

Was I a game to you? Was I way too cool? I truly cared, Was I the fool? It's fine for you, It's fine to flirt, It's fine, 'Till someone gets hurt 'Till someone gets hurt, Feel my heart beating? I'm just like her or you, People forget I'm human too, Yes, they do that

The World Will Know - Newsies

Pulitzer may own the world, but he don't own us, Pulitzer may own the world, but he don't own us! Pulitizer may crack the whip, but he won't whip us, Pulitizer may crack the whip, but he won't whip us! And the world will know, We been keepin' score, Either they gives us our rights or we gives them a war, We've been down too long, And we paid our dues, And the things we do today will be tomorrow's news

Heart Of Stone - Six (HEAVY Grace vibes)

You've got a good heart, But I know it changes, A restless tide, untamable, You came my way, and I knew a storm could come too, You'd lift me high, or let me fall, But I took your hand, promised I'd withstand Any blaze you blew my way, 'Cause something inside, it solidified, And I knew I'd always stay..... Soon I'll have to go I'll never see him grow, But I hope my son will know, He'll never be alone, 'Cause like a river runs dry And leaves it's scars behind, I'll be by your side, 'Cause my love Is set in stone

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topherfoxtrot · 3 years

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Resilience

Here's the third part of my thunderbolts au. Emil Blonsky scaped his long imprisonment but he didn't went after the Hulk. Where did he go? The answer is bellow the cut. There's an original character here too. I'm not kin of OCs but I didn't find any character who would fit the role I wanted. Said oc will only be a part of this episode so consider it a special guest appearance. I've realized I've been writing more and more with each installment. Sorry about that, I'm getting more comfortable with the whole precess and I like to challenge myself. Continuing the trend, this chapter has a widely different vibe from the previous ones. As usual if you enjoyed please like, share or comment something.

Episode one

Episode two

Emil woke up from a nightmare. It was a fight. From as long as he could remember all Emil did was fight. Now even when he's not awake he's still fighting. He sat on the bed breathing heavily. Wait, where am I? He thought.

"You must be confused." A female voice was heard nearby.

Emil looked around looking for it. The cabin was small. The bedroom, the living room and the kitchen were all occupying the same space. There were two doors, one of them was probably for the bathroom. The woman was sitting at the kitchen table. She dressed a knitted sweater and rabbit slippers.

"My name is Charlie Reznik." She pointed at the soup, "Are you hungry?"

"Where am I?"

"Alaska. Three hours driving from Barrow."

Emil sat on the bed. He was naked. He covered himself with the blankets not for modesty but because they were warm.

"You weren't using any clothes when I found you and you don't seem like the kind of person who would wear my clothes. I hope the blankets kept you warm."

"Found me?"

"Yeah. You were screaming a lot. And throwing trees around." Charlie chuckled, "Eventually you got tired and just fell asleep right where you were. I was thinking about calling the police or something but when you started to shrink I decided to bring you here."

Suddenly Emil looked at himself realizing he did indeed shrink. He didn't look like that anymore. Still, the bones in his hands and abdomen were more prominent than they should be. He took his hands to his back to feel his spine was also prominent. That made him think of the super soldier serum, of the Hulk and of the prison he just scaped.

"I need to contact someone." Emil got up only to fall on the ground.

"Are you okay?" Charlie approached him with caution.

"I think I'll have the soap first actually." Emil muttered realizing how weak his body was.

***

The soup made with vegetables reminded Emil of his childhood in Russia. He had almost no recollection of those few years before he moved to England. He mostly remembered the cold and his mother's soap.

"I need to ask you but.. it's gonna sound weird." Emil was at the table tangled with the blankets, "What year is this?"

Charlie looked him in the eyes to decide if he was being serious or not. Emil didn't flinch so nor did Charlie, "It's 2023."

Emil pressed his lips and started to breath heavily. He was sleeping this whole time. They kept him asleep without ever giving him a chance to explain himself. No consent and no agency.

"No one has heard anything about you since 2008 Mr Blonsky and now you show up in the middle of the forest not knowing the year?" Charlie seemed genuinely curious.

"You know me?"

"I didn't recognize you at first. There isn't much footage from big you. But the sketch from witnesses matched pretty well. They call you the Abomination."

"Abomination?" Emil suddenly smashed the wooden table with enough strength to crack it. Charlie quickly moved her left hard to somewhere under the table. They locked eyes. For the first time Charlie didn't seem warm and inviting but rather fierce and absolutely ready to react. Emil closed his eyes a bit before recomposing himself.

"I'm sorry."

"I also think the name is impolite." Charlie brought her hand back, "But no one knew anything about you except you were military assigned to find Bruce Banner. I had to make some phone calls and turns out my guess was right! You are indeed in the accords database. Quite high level threat.

"What accords?"

"Alright." Charlie put her hair behind her ears, "I need you to be honest with me Mr Blonsky. What's the last thing you remember?"

So he said. He fought the hulk on Harlem, fell unconscious and woke up in Alaska. Charlie brought a computer from a big bag under the bed and put it on the table in a way that both of them could see it.

"The world changed a lot since 2008 Mr Blonsky. Put on your seatbelts."

Charlie then gave him a contemporary history class the best way she could while showing videos and pictures whenever she felt necessary. She talked about the avengers assembling in 2012 to stop an alien invasion caused by a norse god. She talked about the genocidal robot destroying a whole country in 2015. She talked about Wanda Maximoff killing those people back in 2016. She talked about the Sokovia accords and how that made the avengers disassemble. She talked about Wakanda opening up to the rest of the world. She talked about the avengers coming together again to fight yet another alien invasion. She talked about the snap and the chaotic years that followed. She talked about the blip and the even more chaotic year that followed it. Emil listened to everything in silence. It was a lot but he was smart.

"They put me to sleep for fifteen years." He whispered.

"I'm so sorry about that. It's unfair."

Emil had finished his soup but he stayed exactly where he was. Thinking about everything.

"I became strong. I became as strong as I could and still... they defeated me with bed time."

"You're being unfair."

"How come?"

"I don't think strength is really what you think it is."

"How would you know?"

Emil looked at Charlie's small stature with unconscious disdain. She picked on that and wore her fierce eyes again.

"With all due the respect Mr Blonsky..." It was possibly to hear the rage under her words, "You have no idea how strong I am. Thanos snapped my whole family! I wasn't even at home when it happened. Do you have any idea how much strength I needed to gather to simply get up every morning? I may not have big muscles like you -in fact no one does Mr Blonsky - but guess what? You could not have went through what I did. I'm sure of it!"

Emil got up aggressively and so did Charlie.

"You're really pulling the trauma card?"

"Wanna compete?"

"I think I do." He showed his teeth.

Charlie walked across the cabin stepping heavely. She sat on the bed. "Enlighten me."

The challenge got Emil off guard. He hesitated.

"I don't need to tell you anything."

"Of course you don't. If you tell me how traumatized you are, I'll tell you how traumatized I am. Then you will have to admit that none of it gives you permission to do the shitty things you did!"

The cabin merged in silence. Outside there was nothing but the cold wind running through the trees.

"I know your type." Charlie continued, a little calmer now, "Though childhood huh? No perspective of a future so you joined the military. Felt good to explode some heads didn't it? It felt powerful."

Emil remained in silence. He still looked mad, but remained in silence. Charlie went to the kitchen and grabbed a photograph from one of the drawers. She gave it to Emil.

"You're military." Emil studied the photo of Charlie and other soldiers smiling inside a tent.

"Used to be. Came back in 2019. The welcoming party wasn't exactly a party as you can imagine. My house was empty. As I said both my parents and my little brother got snapped. That's when I found this cabin."

"It's not yours?"

"Nah. I don't know who it belongs to actually. It was a cold night and I was just driving aimless. I don't know why exactly. Everything just seemed so meaningless back then. I felt weak."

Emil put the photograph on the table and they both locked eyes again. Not with anger this time though.

"It's cold but it's isolated enough. I could cry and scream as much as I wanted without anyone knowing. And did I need to scream! Scream at Thanos, scream at my parents, scream at myself. A part of me wish it could've been me, y'know? Trust me I would give my life for theirs in the blink of an eye! Yet, here I was."

Charlie sat at the table again. The temperature of the cabin went from 20°C to 40°C and then to 20°C again. Emil felt sorry about the table but most importantly he felt sorry for making Charlie mad.

"There's no much to say." He started, "Though childhood. No perspective. Joined the military. After everything I've seen, being strong is honestly the only option. It's survival."

"I get it. I really do. But strength is not on your muscles."

"Don't come with this heartfelt bullshit."

"It's not." Charlie chuckled, "Trust me I won't fall for that bullshit either. It's something else."

She got up and grabbed an old book from the shelf near the bed.

"All those things were already here when I got here for the first time. There was water, gas, energy, the bed, the blankets. It's like whoever lived here had just left. I've known this place for couple more than three years now. No one is ever here except me, yet the feeling never goes away."

The old book was covered with leather.

"Self help book?" Emil asked.

"In a way." Charlie tilted her head, "This book is about the universe. But not like a scientific encyclopedia. This book is about the whole universe, about the energy that comes from different parts of the multiverse and how to harvest and manipulate them. Essencially, magic!"

"Alright it's a self help book. Magic is not real."

"I was honestly hoping you would say that." Charlie smiled, "Check this out!"

Charlie put her hands in front of her and took a deep breath in order to focus. She moved her hands vertically and a orange string appeared from thin air. Charlie's hands drew a circle in the air and the string curved itself in a circumference. Charlie closed her hands as if grabbing something and with another gesture polygonal forms started to draw themselves in the magic circle. Charlie snapped her fingers with both hands and the whole thing started to spin like a magical ferris wheel.

"You discovered magic!" Emil whispered.

"Of course I didn't! People have been studying that for a long time. I just happened to find a weird book." The magical strings disappeared as Charlie stopped focusing so much on them, "You know when you are depressed so you set a simple goal just to give yourself a little achievement?"

"No, actually. But that's seems like solid advice."

"It is!" Charlie chuckled, "Anyways I read this whole book in like two days and I didn't understand shit. But I was super interested and started to dig the internet and beyond for anything related to all the weird concepts I found. I read the book more two of three times after that. Each time I learned something different and gained a new perspective over myself and the universe around me."

"So it is a self help book!" Emil laughed.

"As I said, it is but in a weird way. I mean look around. There's aliens and gods and the multiverse. When you think of all of it don't your problems seem way smaller?"

"I'm not sure."

"Here's how it's gonna be. I go to Barrow buy you some clothes and you think about everything I just said." She grabbed a jacket and wore boots, "But you have to pay me back alright? Otherwise I'm gonna hunt you and I'll find you. Remember: I know magic!"

"Okay, that's fair!"

Charlie grabbed a ring with slot for two fingers in a kitchen drawer. "That was one of the things I found here. Magic becomes weirdly intuitive once you learn some basics."

She made that focused face again and started to draw circles in the air with her right hand. The air in the middle of the cabin heated up and started to sparkle. An orange circle (much like the one she conjured with the hand gestures) appeared but in the middle of it was possible to see an alley.

"What is this?" Emil was shocked.

"Fast travel!" Charlie winked before passing through. The portal was gone as soon as she was gone and Emil found himself alone in the cabin.

***

There was a small mirror in the bathroom. Alone, he could check his own body for the first time. His face looked pretty much the same, he hadn't aged one day in the past fifteen years. Besides his hands and shoulders and spine, his elbows were also abnormally prominent. Was he the Abomination after all?

The power felt good, he remembered. Felt god-like. But the cost was too high. Emil became too dangerous and lost control over his own life for more than a decade. He wanted to blame Ross and Banner but would it be even fair? Emil was the one who accepted to take the serum in the first place. He actually pointed a gun at that scientist. He begged to become as strong as the Hulk is.

Emil left the house still covered in blankets. The cold snow made his feet burn but no enough to bother him. He was strong after all. Or maybe he enjoyed the pain in a sick way of reinforcing his own superiority belief. An orange portal opened nearby after a while.

"Aren't you feeling cold?" Charlie asked coming with a bag of clothes.

"A little."

"Come. See if any of those fit you. They're from the local thrift shop by the way."

"I've wore worse."

Charlie bought a simple jeans, two shirts, a flannel and boots. Really simple stuff just to protect Emil from the cold. It fit well.

"Thank you." He said.

"You're in debt, Mr Blonsky. Don't you forget that."

"You know magic." He chuckled, "I can't allow myself to have you as an enemy Ms Reznik."

They both laughed. Charlie sat at the table and started to type something on the computer.

"The feds are all over town." Charlie commented, "They're looking for you."

"Listen," he said, "I need to ask you a favor but first can I go for a walk?

***

Emil took a deep breath before jumping as high as he could. He could not see above the tall trees so he jumped again but grabbed one of the trees this time. Even with his bare hards, the wood bowed to his will. He kept climbing until he got to the highest part of the tree. From up there he could see the whole forest, including the trees he threw around the day before.

He jumped to the ground again. The snow splattered around him. His hands and knees started to bleed but he didn't care because he would break soon enough. He felt powerful and smiled without realizing it. Not a happy smile, bur rather a challenging one. Hey jumped a little before running in the direction of the destruction he caused. He started slow (more like jogging actually) but quickly escalated to marathon running and super human running. The cold wind cut his face like knifes but he didn't care. He just kept going faster.

When he finally reached the glade he jumped again. Even higher this time. When he landed his feet felt bigger. Breathing heavily he looked at his own hands and realized they were indeed getting bigger and muscled. Without wasting any breath he took off all his clothes and started running again. The cold started to bother him less and less as his body grew in size.

He started to scream so he could liberate his anger. He jumped high and landed with his fists causing the ground to crack bellow him. Emil grabbed a fallen tree and threw it to the air. He picked big boulders and threw them around at will. In the middle of the chaos he also started laughing. He was strong. He could destroy anything he wanted. He was as strong as he could be.

When Emil finally felt satisfied with his own display of power, he grabbed the trees and rearranged them back into the ground as best as he could. He picked the boulders and put them back where they were. So when the glade resembled the glade it once was, Emil sat on the ground next to his new clothes.

He started to think about everything Charlie said. Yes, he was big and could destroy everything is his way. But there were gods and aliens and robots and uncontable planets and entities across the universe. He was big and strong but he was also small and weak.

His strength though wasn't on his muscles but on his ability to survive. He survived his childhood, he survived the military and he survived the Hulk. Just like Charlie survived the snap and the aftermath. Like Charlie found new meaning in magic so could Emil find new paths to follow.

"I'm big and I'm small. I'm strong and I'm weak. I'm still here." Emil whispered to himself.

His body started to shrink calmly. Once he achieved regular size he wore his clothes and walked towards the cabin. Charlie smiled when he entered.

"Had fun?" She heard the screams obviously.

"Yeah actually. Thanks for everything."

"No problem. Remember, you're still in debt! So what favor do you need?"

"I need a portal but I also need an address. I believe you can find the person I'm looking for in the Sokovia accords database."

"Hm alright. What's the name?"

"Ava Starr."

#emil blonsky #thunderbolts #FoxtrotFanfic

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theacenoodle · 3 years

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I think I've realized why I've been so burnt out when it come to school lately. I know its not the same for everyone but when think of people like my mom or brother who have full time jobs they both get vacation time. Its not necessarily paid but they can take some time off with no drastic penalty. Hell, my mom just took a week off not to long ago because she wanted a break before work got crazy again after most universities started classes. Students don't get that. My mental health has been the worst its been in probably my whole life. My anxiety had been awful, Im tired all the time, and I can't remember the last time I felt motivated to do something just for fun because all I've wanted to do has been sleep. If I had a job like my mom's I could use my vacation time to get myself in a slightly better space. As a student I can't afford to do that. If I miss a week of class I'm done for. My grades will tank and I'll fail everything for this semester. Taking a break isn't an option so I'm dealing with my god awful brain along with having to write essays every week. Even if the school did give me an extra day or two, I'd just be playing catch up and trying to get ahead so that I can stay afloat later and its absolutely exhausting. My weekends aren't free time its time to finish the things that are due early in the week. I'm either doing homework to stay ahead or doing homework so I dont fall behind becuase I decided to take a day for myself. There has been no inbetween. I know I'm lucky to even be able to go to university and have the opportunities that I've had, I just want a true honest to god break. From school, from anxiety, from literally everything. I want to not feel tired for once. I want to have energy and be excited about things.

#screaming into the void #long post #personal #school #university #i feel bleh #on another note im finally going to get a psych eval #hopefully I'll have an official diagnosis soon #then i might actually be able to do something

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z-iridest · 4 years

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(A/N: Hey guys! Sooo, this is my first one shot here on Tumblr, featuring Todoroki due to a rush of creativity coming to me. The inspiration is a matchup I requested from none other than @lxvely-mha ^.^, so this little one shot is my way of saying a huge thank you! Hope you guys enjoy this piece featuring my oc [literally me XD]. Little heads up, this will be in her point of view... Feel free to request from me if you liked it ^.^)

There's three things I know for sure. One: I'm not the most confident person... Thanks to bullying I had endure most of my life, my self confidence isn't that high, especially when it comes to my body. I'm only 5 foot 4 inches tall... Mind you, I'm only an inch below average height, but my weight... not so average. I had stopped checking on it some time ago because I was scared that a much bigger triple digit number was going to pop up the next time I stood on a scale.

Two: If I ever do feel confident, it's usually when I'm either listening to music, writing or singing. I'm not exactly creative enough to write lyrics and compose the music... But, for the composing part, I don't really have an excuse due to having a music genius for a best friend. There are times I feel like Kyoka Jirou should have been my sister.... That girl knows me better than anyone else at U.A....

Three: I'm deeply and irrevocably in love with my boyfriend. It's actually pretty funny how we ended up together. We didn't actually start talking until after the Sports Festival, and Midoriya was the one who introduced me to him. Shoto Todoroki... I wasn't too open with Shoto when we first met if I'm being honest, but I found out pretty quick how interested he was in me. Everytime we had to pair up for projects and we got to choose, he always ended up making his way toward me. I swear, as soon as our friends started seeing us together more and more, it was teasing left and right from the girls. It honestly wasn't too long before I started noticing our friends starting to get us into situations where we were alone together... Hell, everyone in our class started shipping us. It all built up to when we first moved into the dorms...

Shoto and I had been in the kitchen at the same time, Kaminari and Kirishima talking amongst each other while Shoto and I were talking. I have no idea which one did it, but a sudden force knocked me forward toward Shoto. I had braced myself to hit the wall, but I felt something warmer than that under my hands. When I looked up, I realized I was in Shoto's arms, with my hands on his chest, and much to my own embarrassment, I started blushing redder than the left side of his hair. As embarrassing as the situation was, I couldn't look away from his eyes... Those beautiful, enchanting heterochromatic eyes, and those eyes... Were right... On... Me. There was this look I had never seen in his eyes before, but it wasn't bad at all... The look in his eyes almost seemed... Longing, but there was so much love behind them, I couldn't look away even if I wanted to. We had confessed at the same time, and shared a good laugh over it.

That was a couple months ago...

In the span of a couple months, we had opened up to each other a little bit more. Shoto had seen how competitive I could be first hand, thanks to the Sports Festival, he already knew how stubborn and closed off I was since it had taken me months just to open up to him a little while we were just friends. Only two days into our relationship, embarrassingly enough, he found out about my tendency to ramble... I had been talking about a day out with the girls and how much they had bombarded me with questions before training had started. When I had looked up at him, he was staring at me with the softest look on his face, his chin in his palm and his head tilted. I'm not gonna lie, I almost squealed because he looked like an attentive puppy. It was so cute!

Best part about being with Shoto? Cuddles. Oh my god, you have not lived until you cuddle with Shoto. I don't think Shoto lets even one day pass without wrapping his arms around me at least once, but hey, I'm not complaining. Whether it's cuddling in one of our rooms, hugging for a quick moment because our schedules only allow a second of us time, or Shoto wrapping his arms around me from behind while we talk with our friends, Shoto's hugs are just the right temperature for comfort, thanks to his quirk. I'm not gonna lie, I think I've messed up my sleep schedule way too many times because of how much I fall asleep in Shoto's arms. A majority of when we cuddle is usually when I'm writing. I'll be sitting on the couch, typing out a drabble or a one shot one of my readers requested (or a drabble about Shoto), and he'll just slip in behind me, put his legs on either side of me, and wrap his arms around me. He'll usually press a kiss to my temple as a way to tell me to lie back on him, which I gladly do everytime so my head ends up on his chest. He'll press kisses to my cheeks everytime he gets a chance, usually while we're cuddling. Hell, he'll pepper my face with kisses until I start giggling, and he only stops because he's too busy chuckling with me. Occasionally, I'll give him one of my earbuds and we'll listen to music together on Spotify while I write. If I'm not sleepy, that's my favorite way to cuddle...

And did I mention the cute little kisses Shoto gives me? I swear, Shoto makes it a point to kiss me at least once while we're cuddling together. But, my favorite times are when he gives me three: One on my forehead, one on the tip of my nose, and one on my lips.

But one thing's certain: I absolutely cannot be insecure around him. Oh boy, let me tell you, Shoto absolutely hates it if I even look insecure. If he catches me even looking like I'm thinking about doubting myself, he launches into the biggest lecture about how beautiful and perfect I am in his eyes. He lists everything he loves about me until I'm blushing a darker red than Kirishima's hair, and he always finishes with, "Don't ever doubt yourself, my love, because nothing can take you away from me. I will forever be your hero, your knight in shining armor. You are my princess, my greatest love, and as such, I will always come for you." As if his words weren't enough, he goes full on prince mode and kneels on one knee, pressing a kiss to the back of my hand. It makes me blush so dark everytime.

Now, if I'm ever next to him, he'll literally pull me onto his lap, and pepper my cheeks in kisses until I start giggling. As soon as I do, he gives me a tight hug and starts stroking my hair. He usually does it with his left hand, letting off just enough of his fire side to give me a comfortable warmth without burning me. He'd start humming or softly singing to me in my ear, and let me tell you.... My man can sing. He'll usually stroke my sides, my back or my hair as he sings, my head on his shoulder. Actually... That's usually how I fall asleep, being held close to my boyfriend, his soothing voice singing to me. But, even after the months of knowing him, Shoto has no idea that I can sing. I'm not as good as Jirou, who's the only one who knows about my ability to sing...

Well, one of the rare afternoons after class, Shoto had to do extra training with Midoriya and Iida, so I was left to do what I wished until Shoto got back. Since I was sweaty from hand to hand training against Ochaco, I decided on taking a shower. Once I got out, I dressed in sweatpants and a black tank top before sitting on my bed as I dried my auburn hair. I softly started humming before closing my eyes as I started to sing.

When tomorrow comes

I'll be on my own

Feeling frightened of

The things that I don't know

When tomorrow comes

Tomorrow comes

And though the road is long

I look up to the sky

And in the dark I found,

I lost hope that I won't fly

And I sing along, I sing along

And I sing along

The chorus is when I really lost myself to the lyrics, thinking about Shoto. The song truly conveyed, in words I could never describe, how I felt about him all these months of knowing him.

I got all I need when I got you and I

I look around me, and see a sweet life

I'm stuck in the dark but you're my flashlight

You're getting me, getting me through the night

Kick start my heart when you shine it in my eyes

Can't lie, it's a sweet life

I'm stuck in the dark but you're my flashlight

You're getting me, getting me through the night

'Cause you're my flashlight (flashlight)

You're my flashlight (flashlight)

You're my flashlight

"My love, you never told me you could sing like that." I jumped at the smooth and calm voice of my boyfriend, my eyes snapping open to see him standing in the doorway of my room. My eyes widened as all the heat rushed to my face. I'm pretty sure I broke the world record for darkest blush at that point... He was leaning against the doorframe, the most adoring look on his face as he looked at me with his head tilted in that adorable as hell way. Damn it, I could never think straight when he looked at me like that...

"H-How long have you..."

"I didn't mean to intrude, my love." Shoto told me as he walked toward me as he talked. "It's just that I had heard an angel's voice singing, only to find that the sweet angel I was hearing was no one but my princess." Shoto sat down next to me and I let out a squeak of embarrassment, making him chuckle before he pulled me into a hug, putting me on his lap like he always did. I hid my face in his shoulder out of embarrassment, but he merely rubbed my back. "My love, your voice is nothing to be ashamed of... Your voice is as beautiful as you." He pressed a kiss to my temple and it wasn't long before he made me sit up and sit in front of him. He picked up my hairbrush and started gently brushing out the knots as he picked up where I left off, my voice harmonizing with his. We smiled at each other as we kept singing, Shoto pulling me back to him as he laid back with me on his chest, his arms around me. I smiled as we sang together, our eyes never leaving the other, our fingers interlaced and our voices harmonizing together. He smiled up at me when we finished singing and pressed a sweet but passionate kiss against my lips.

Maybe I had only been with Shoto for a couple months, but I finally felt complete...

With him... I was finally home.

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strad-214 · 4 years

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I am reading right now that psychologists are saying that it would be an incredible relief to us all if we forget the recent and "normal" lives we once knew and just accepted our current situation as the new normal because there is not yet an end in sight and I read this on CNN.

The article goes on to say that we will not be happy or content unless we let go of the belief that this will all be over soon or else we will drive ourselves crazy. It says that we must let go of the way of life we knew and accept our current predicament as our new way of life because there is no end in sight, so don'tgo searching for that end because that is also going to drive us crazy...

No, this pandemic isn't going to end tomorrow, or next week, or next month, maybe not even next year. Yes, we have to accept our current situation such as it is whether we like it or not because whether we believe it or not, it all is ultimately out of our control... but the pandemic will also not go on forever, and not all of our new conditions of living are entirely justified. Every day, new information comes out that contradicts the policies that where placed the day before: in New Jersey, USA, the Governor disallowed any and all indoor activity but forced schools to open with a government approved plan for sterility in the classrooms. The teachers, understandably, revolted saying that it was too dangerous and they did not wish to risk theirs and their students' lives so needlessly when they had already found ways to teach from home. They also made the argument that everything else was still needed to be done outdoors, so why open the schools? You know what the Governor did? Immediately announced that indoor activities where safe again to a certain degree and restaurants and theaters and the like opened back up. So too, did the schools, for they now had no argument.

This pandemic has been used as a platform for politics to exercise their control over the population. This is not an extreme left wing agenda, it is not an extreme right one either. Neither side is working in tandum to exercise this control, in fact, I'm not sure which is worse anymore. The pendulum of a a clock need not be wound so tight that the hammer slams into the walls of its casing and breaks the clock. Yet here we are, swinging so far one way and the other that the whole thing is crashing down and we just keep winding it up. Proof lies in this article alone, telling you the reader to give up hope for a better future, one where we are free of this plague-- political or viral-- and accept the lives we now must face.

Well, I for one will never give up hope of a better life. Things are terrible right now, but those of us that survive can do something to make it better. Don't riot, don't needlessly posture out of pride, don't give anybody a reason to call you a radical. Ask for the support of those in authority who are being muffled by the extreme wings of politics, they WANT to help us. Get the police to protest WITH YOU, talk to them, give them a reason to WANT TO SUPPORT YOU, and they will, they have done that before! They did it in Newark NJ when all these other protests and riots went violent, they knew Newark was going to have one, so they just decided "We'll march with you, protect you from those who would harm you and protect you from yourselves." -- there are a lot of rioters who are picking random targets and justifying it later, even amongst themselves.

What I'm trying to say is this: yes, it was the American way to take up arms and overthrow our government... keyword is WAS... we are not there yet. Can we please start finding better ways than just shooting the first cop we see? Or by literally trying to spread this plague as if it isn't real? Otherwise, we will get there. Do we really want that? Do we really want to destroy this nation? If we do, the entire world will come donw on us to claim its share, and we will have no say about it: we will be carved like fat ham, those of us who would survive the peocess will lose their homes, will lose their families, their husbands and wives, their children, their identities, their treasures... possibly our lives in the process. The carvers would call it a mercy for us, say they are giving us a new home and life, but we would be outsiders in lands we don't want to go live in. Or,, even if we think we want to go live there, we couldn'tive there the way we live here. Thas got to be a better way people, don't let go of those bettwr paths or we will lose everything!

I'm a straight, white man. I have lived on this Earth for 26 years. I was never presented the opportunities of success because I lived in a town of people who couldn't give a shit about anything but themselves and their interests. I am poor, I drive a 2007 Forester that is falling apart. I have enough college debt to insist that I'm pursuing a masters degree, but I still am an undergrad. I live in the living room of my future inlaws and sleep in a bed that is too small for my fiancee and I. Every night I try to sleep with direct eyesight to the front door of the house. I'm supposed to be student teaching right now, but that's difficult to do right now because of the pandemic and my college is having difficulty finding me a school willing to take me, not to mention the school they did find for me actually isn't cooperating with me and at this point, there isn't enough time in the semester to complete my requirements due to the slowly turning wheels of a system that again, doesn't seem to give a shit about me. I'm due to get married in two weeks time come this Friday (10/02/2020) the plans of which got turned upside down again due to the pandemic. All I want to do is teach music, love my wife, have a modest home on the edge of a forest that I can walk in with what I hope to be a daughter who sings and a son who fights Isshin-ryū like his mother, and ultimately teach the next generation to stick up for themselves and be their own men and women someday-- whether they were born men and women or not. That's it, that's all I want. Everything I have done in life was to allow myself and people like me to do just those things.... Why is that so hard? WE ARE MAKING IT HARD.... and I swear to God, if I have to take up arms and defend what little of my goals I have achieved against savages who hide behind walls of self-righteousness-- no matter their skin color or class-- my wrath will be equal to that of the God I believe in. For they will have taken everything from me at that point just because they can because they think it's right even though I have done nothing wrong to them....

BUT. I. WILL. NOT. GIVE. UP. NOT UNTO MY DYING BREATH WILL I EVER GIVE UP ON THE HOPE OF A BETTER FUTURE FOR EVERYONE ON THIS EARTH NO MATTER WHO YOU ARE OR WHAT YOU BELIEVE IN!!! AND IN STRIVING FOR MY GOALS OF A PEACFUL FUTURE WHERE I LIVE IN HARMONY WITH ALL THOSE AROUND ME, I AM ALLOWING THAT GOAL TO EMINATE TO ALL THOSE I WOULD LIVE IN HARMONY WITH!!! AND I SPIT ON ANY SICK FUCK WHO WOULD TELL ME OR ANYBODY THAT IT IS BETTER TO JUST GIVE UP HOPE AND ACCEPT A FATE THAT I DID NOT CHOOSE!!! FUCK YOU!!! TURN IN YOUR LICENCE TO PRACTICE MEDICINE BECAUSE YOU ARE RUINING LIVES WITH THAT BULLSHIT!!! THE SPIRIT OF A TRUE AMERICAN LIVES ON IN THE HOPE OF A BETTER FUTURE! THAT IS WHAT IT MEANS TO BE A TRUE AMERICAN!!! NOT A REBEL, NOT A CONQUOR, NOT A RACIST, BUT A BEACON OF HOPE FOR ALL PEOPLES OF THIS EARTH!!!!!

........ you know, I never write these things because when I share my views here, I get labeled as a biggot, a racist-- I've even been called a neo-nazi once... for believing that all people can live together in harmony without causing harm to one another, can you believe that? .... well, you people don't know me and your opinions don't scare me anymore. I have ourgrown mindless spite. I say what I do in the spirit of humility and devotion to secret vows which I have taken to try and unite peoples of all walks of life through music and help foster a kindred spirit between myself and my neighbors. It is the same vow that a man named Fred Rogers made once upon a time, I would know, he is a member of my order. If anyone has watched his shows, you'll see what I mean.

I am exhausted now... more than I ever have been. I feel far older than I am and I feel worse all the time. Please, I beg of you all... don't give in to this rhetoric, don't let this political mire get the best of you. Don't love Biden because he isn't Trump, love him because he has an idea or goal you like. Love Trump for the same reasons... and then tweet back that he needs to stop getting in his own way if he is to be a real leader. Think of the impacts of this pandemic and be thankful for all that you have, even if it's only a little, because someone else has it worse than you, and then try to help those people if you can. But above all else, be your own people, don't give in to hatred, be a positive influence, make a pact of peace and trust and set aside pride and spitefulness... be an American the way an American was meant to be.

#america #politics #covidー19 #a cry out for peace #help #psychology #2020 cnn #fall 2020 #fred rogers #sinfonia

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