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#i'm so sorry for making useless posts like these

isabela-mad-rigal · 2 years

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what the Madrigals might like to carry around in their pockets

Alma - pocket watch / lipstick / list of peoples' addresses Julieta - various herbs she might find on a walk / gloves (for picking up thorny/poisonous herbs) / small, homemade candies Pepa - handkerchief / nothing (is scared it might get wet from her rain) Bruno - a rat / salt and sugar / little notebook + pen / lucky item Agustín - old bandaid he'd forgotten about / (broken?) pocket watch / lucky item Félix - handkerchief / wallet Luisa - nothing (empty pockets) / small pouch of chalk / ribbon band Isabela - small perfume bottle / handkerchief / gloves / pocket mirror Mirabel - small sewing-equipment box (thread+needle+various buttons, etc.) / harmonica / ocarina / pretty stones Dolores - ribbon band / small candies (not necessarily Julieta's) / lipstick Camilo - lose coins / glass marbles / pocket mirror Antonio - glass marbles / anything from nature that might catch his eye (pretty stones + plant seeds + snail shells, etc.) / crayons (maybe)

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cherrymoonvol6 · 6 months

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ok nvm i'll elaborate right now

i think one of the many weird choices in the finale was to make belos possess raine out of all people. one, because it really comes out of the blue. when has belos ever shown any interest of raine? like, i'm sure he must be aware of raine's record of plotting against the establishment, but he never deals with them himself. instead he sends a plethora of other people to do it for him (darius, eberwolf, kikimora, terra). if anything, it is terra that has a bone to pick with them. and in a parallel work where raine got more to do, i believe terra and raine's dynamic would've been something really interesting to explore. kinda like the relationship between atreus and odin in GOW ragnarok, like this "okay i know you hate me and all that i stand for, but i see potential in you so i'll take you under my wing and prove to you that i am worth of your time and loyalty" kinda thing, which is a banger dynamic btw.

but the second part is that there are two way more attractive options. the first one, immediately on demand, is darius. ofc it would take some canon time of developing that dynamic between belos and darius (it pains me that it doesn't exist), but it would make sense that belos would keep a close eye on darius. after all, he was mentored and was a good friend of the previous golden guard, and it's implied in various scenes (mostly ASIAS) that he knows enough about hunter's "ancestors" to praise him when he doesn't follow orders, and ultimately play the long-con to betray belos. he may even be aware in some sense of belos killing the previous golden guard, or even the existence of the grimwalkers. in that case, it would make sense that belos would have built some resentment towards him that ultimately shows in the choice to possess, corrupt and kill his puppeteer-ed body. but then, there's an even better option here, and a character that belos has hide a long-time resentment against: lilith.

look, if belos remembers luz from all those years ago, then he abso-fucking-lutely remembers lilith as well. and in a sense you can interpret the actions in canon as him trying to exert his personal vendetta against her: keep her close in the emperor's coven, trying to get her sister to join and get branded with a sigil with the promise that he'll cure her from her curse, all this while knowing that she would eventually betray him and join luz's side. we know belos kept her close for a reason and he knows the extent of her abilities, her history and relationship with eda, and her weaknesses as well. belos possessing lilith, then, would not only be the definitive "fuck you" to her, but could've also been an effective way to provoke eda emotionally and lead her to abandon her hideout to confront him. and honestly, from the way belos acts in that scene in FTF, his reaction to finding the best candidate to possess would make so much more sense if it was lilith and not raine.

but like, aren't lilith and raine just... insanely similar characters in the show's narrative? both are figures of eda's past, who loved each other sincerely back in simpler times, and through plot-related actions (raine's reason is much better narratively though, IMO) abandoned eda and joined the opposing side, climbing the ranks through their powerful abilities until becoming important figures in the coven circle. trying to think about the things i'd change in canon to make raeda a better couple involve making them go through similar plot beats that eda and lilith have gone through: an emotional, powerful moment where raine has to choose between their position of power and eda's wellbeing, actual tension between them (resentment and guilt from eda's side, frustration and confusion from raine's side), situations where they are forced to colaborate and their chemistry can still come through but still their dynamic is permeated by those lingering wounds... like, all of those things are stuff that already happened in canon, between eda and lilith. there's even that moment in king's tide where eda has the same somber moment with raine and lilith before executing their sabotage:

to me, it event seems like lilith got a lot of attention and development with eda in S1 and early S2 and then her character got sidelined when raine started to appear, and simultaneously: how raine's backstory and conflict of interest with eda are pretty much an afterthought but they still get to be a key player in the plot through late S2 and S3. i'm really sorry that economic character construction has to work this way, but that's how it is: you don't get to give eda a sister and a significant other and then make those two characters the same one. you have to commit to just one and integrate all aspects onto them.

#toh critical #anti raeda #long post #i still really like the darius possession choice btw. mainly bc of my deranged 'darius was the evelyn to previous gg's caleb' theory #and because if hunter actually joins luz and co to fight belos #he'd be saving his REAL parent too #but y'know. needs a lot more canon tweaking #i find it so useless that lilith gets effectively puppeteer'ed at the beginning of FTF but then she's just ok later in the episode ??? why #and also btw i'd love to keep raine and drop lilith. i'm sorry sacrifices must be done #esp because all the juicy potential between raine and terra #raine looking at darius like 'don't look at me like that. you also had your mentor'#and darius being like 'i cannot overstate how radically different our mentorship was compared to yours'#i say this might make me like raeda more but truth is i'd be head over heels in love with the terra/raine dynamic. lmao #also IMAGINE elsewhere and elsewhen but building a luz/raine dynamic instead..... i want it so bad

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thenightisland · 2 months

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had to go to a little training inservice thing on employee burnout today which was hilarious bc i am definitely not burned out by this job quite the contrary this is the least taxing any job has ever been on me but i scored insanely high on their little burnout thing and i wanted to be like buddy what you consider career-ending burnout i, as an autistic person with a full time job, call tuesday

#like sorry you cannot measure me the way you measure NT employees #we are using totally different operating systems with completely different system requirements #activities that cost you nothing cost me #and my life is a balancing act of managing those costs #should it be this way of course not but uh gotta eat and all that lol #so yes i am in fact always Exhausted with damn near nothing left to give at the end of the workday #them's the breaks i'm just making the best of it #this has been a useless text post you may now resume your normal programming

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bogunicorn · 1 year

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i have like 5 posts in my drafts about that therapy-speak article, but they distill down to "half of it was legit, half of it was obnoxious whining, you are not owed anyone's attention, especially if you aren't at a certain level of emotional intimacy with them to begin with, why do y'all want exit interviews with people who clearly dislike you so goddamn much".

anyway ghosting is like... fine, actually. most people don't ghost out of nowhere, and frankly the desire to have someone DM you and explain all the shit wrong with you instead of just peacing out and making their issues with you Not Your Problem is a little screwy to me.

but also i'm convinced that at least half of the people who are like "at least tell me why you don't like me" actually mean "i would rather you feel obligated to sit there and take it while i tell you what a shitbag you are for not wanting to be my friend", but they know it makes them sound like an asshole.

#bog post #stay salty #obligatory disclaimer for the inevitable 'what if' people:#obviously at some level of emotional intimacy #yeah you do need to tell them you're bailing and don't want to be their friend #like... if someone in my little core group of friends seemingly randomly stops answering my messages (and we haven't fought before then)#and then is like 'you aren't part of my enrichment team respect my boundaries you toxic narcissist'#when i keep trying to get in contact to make sure they're not dead or something #that's an inherently shitbag thing to do #but for 99% of the people i know online #if they ghost me or i ghost them yeah it would probably suck for the ghostee #but neither of us would be bad people for it #negative emotions and experiences are part of life #part of being an adult is not diagnosing everyone who doesn't like you with Bad Person Disease #also like... people are just kind of allowed to be wrong about you if you ALREADY don't care about their opinion #the people i've ghosted probably think i'm an asshole #but i already thought their opinions were useless garbage so who cares #that's why i ghosted them in the first place lmao #no rebagels for y'all on this one sorry #i'm ghosting your rebagels #ghostbagels

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thosearentcrimes · 2 years

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the business astrologers at my prospective place of work don’t like me, so I’m probably not getting the job, sucks because I kinda expected this was more of a formality and had stopped looking for work

got “go to therapy lol”ed by the person deciding I don’t get gainfully employed

#haha do this battery of tests designed by scientific fraud and massive racist Hans Eysenck #oops computer says your brain is bad #inconvenient that the employment computer says I'm useless and the clinical computer says I'm fine #doesn't really feel like there's a place for me in society at all #deleted and remade post so I could make it unrebloggable sorry for spam

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frodolives · 5 months

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1850s Tumblr Dashboard Simulator

👸🏻 girlbossladyjane Follow

It really makes me sick to see people giving money to penny weeklies when Franklin's expedition STILL has not been found 😭 There are good men out there trapped in unimaginable temperatures and literally all that's needed is a little more funding for another rescue mission yet all you guys seem to care about are your vulgar little stories...

🧔🏻‍♂️ queerqueg Follow

the franklin expedition is dead as hell

👸🏻 girlbossladyjane Follow

Disgraceful thing to say but I'd expect nothing more from a M*lville fan

10,558 notes

👨🏻‍❤️‍💋‍👨🏻 hartgrindisreal

Sorry for posting so much about Tom Gradgrind/James Harthouse from Hard Times lately. It turns out that I was getting arsenic poisoning from my wallpaper? Anyway I took a seaside stroll and I'm normal now. Check your walls y'all

#whyyy did i assume they were committing unlawful actions together like where did i even get that from lol #hard times isn't even that good by dickens standards tbh

659 notes

🎨 asherbrowndurand

Just painted this

2 notes

ss-arctic-girlie-deactivated18540927

RIP Napoleon... you may have been unable to conquer Alexander's Russia but you sure as hell conquered Alexander's bed

🖼️ preraphaelitebro Follow

HERITAGE POST

📝 shakespearesforehead Follow

How does this have less than 100k notes you could literally not avoid this post back in the 20s lol

82,170 notes

🌄 loyalromantic Follow

poets just aren't dying young in mysterious water-related incidents like they used to :/

#as useless and degenerative as i find 'the living poets' and i'm glad we're finally moving on from them #i have to agree with op in this respect

6,884 notes

🎀 thefopdiaries Follow

I finally got a daguerreotype of myself ^_^ Porcelain urn for scaling

📜 bartlebi-thescrivener

i think i hauve consumption

112 notes

🐋 whaler4life

They found oil in the ground??? WTF. THIS IS LITERALLY THE WORSTTTT. FUCK MY LIFE FOR REAL THIS TIME

11 notes

🌿 naturesnaturalist Follow

I swear this website has 0 reading comprehension skills. Darwin NEVER claimed we "evolved" from apes like if one of you guys actually bothered to open his new book you'll see all his arguments are backed up by evidence. He actually makes a lot of sense

#sure there's nuance like i don't fully agree with all of it #but his general theory of natural selection seems pretty sound imo

56 notes

🤵🏻‍♂️ byronicherotournament Follow

🙈 butchbronte Follow

Of course these are the finalists lmao this website is so predictable. Anyway vote Heathcliff if you dont i'm going to assume you're a phrenologist

📖 sapphichelenburns Follow

It's not problematic to acknowledge the fact that Heathcliff was a brute like he literally killed dogs in case you forgot. #rochestersweep

🙈 butchbronte Follow

I love the implication here that Rochester never did anything cruel either. He literally locked his wife in the attic and lied to Jane about it 😭 like that was a pretty significant thing that happened

📖 sapphichelenburns Follow

And? God forbid women do anything

#why'd you have to pit two bad bitches against each other #anyway i'm not attracted to men but still went with rochester #bc in terms of living quarters thornfield hall > wuthering heights easily

8,027 notes

👨🏻‍❤️‍💋‍👨🏻 hartgrindisreal

Not the Russian tsar dying immediately after hartgrind became canon

#i know dickens hasn't technically confirmed it yet but like. SOMETHING was strongly implied ok #see: my previous post #dickensposting

522 notes

👨🏻‍❤️‍💋‍👨🏻 hartgrindisreal

LORD HELP ME. THE BODY LANGUAGE. THE WAY THEY'RE LOOKING AT EACH OTHER. AHHHHHH

#this installment!!! im-- #dickensposting #i can't fucking cope #dickens wants to KILL us he wants us DEAD....

2,309 notes

⭐️ newamerican

Hi guys sorry I haven't been posting lately it's been so difficult getting to California 💀 I'm finally here now though just need to find a pickaxe and soon I'll be digging! :-) wish me luck lol

#gold #gold rush #gold rush grind #california #adventure

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archiverstappen · 1 month

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the cat sitter (part 15) ✧ max verstappen

max verstappen x fem! reader

previous part | masterlist

loosely inspired by the story on how max lost his cat

[twitter]

[instagram]

[messages]

[twitter]

[max’s messages]

[messages]

[instagram]

maxverstappen1

liked by charles_leclerc and 2.827.515 others

maxverstappen1 🐈

view all 1.736 comments

landonorris Never beating the crazy cat lady allegations

danielricciardo 😍

yourusername i miss you ed, edd, and eddy. gone... but never forgotten 😿

↳ maxverstappen1 you named them?

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username i dont care guys this is enough sign for me, it’s canon

username please tell me that she at least kept one of those cats

↳ yourusername maximus won’t let me keep them 💔

↳ maxverstappen1 Pretty sure that’s illegal 🤗

bffusername so is this the reason why you always take so long on your dates? because y/n can’t resist touching every single cat on the streets? [deleted]

bffusername cool pics! 😁👍

↳ yourusername ouH GIRL WHEN I CATCH YOU

↳ username PLEASE TELL ME THAT I WAS NOT THE ONLY ONE WHO SAW THE DELETED COMMENT 😭

username don’t know about you guys but the hand on her head awakened something feral in me

[twitter]

[interview]

[twitter]

[instagram]

yourusername

liked maxverstappen1 and 231 others

yourusername these are a few of my favorite things 🫧 🤍 🎶

view all 42 comments

landonorris He got game after all

↳ yourusername unlike you

↳ landonorris OUCH??

↳ maxverstappen1 😂

maxverstappen1 Lovely 🤍

bffusername this cake looks way better than maximus' birthday cake, progress!! 💪🏼

↳ yourusername 😎

bffusername now i'm curious, what did you say during mario kart? 🤔

↳ maxverstappen1 A lot of curse words

victoriaverstappen Enjoy your holiday guys, see you soon! 🧡

↳ yourusername MAX AND I WANT TO BABYSIT LUKA AND LIO AGAIN!!

↳ maxverstappen1 Y/N......

maxverstappen1

liked by yourusername and 2.103.273 others

maxverstappen1 More passion, more energy ❄️

view all 7.322 comments

yourusername i kinda hate you right now ngl

↳ maxverstappen1 She's so brave, she's well behaved, she's not afraid 💪🏼

↳ yourusername HUSH

yourusername delete??? or i'll post a video of you dancing to 'paint the town red'??

↳ maxverstappen1 YOU WOULDN'T DARE

↳ yourusername I SAID WHAT I SAID 👹

↳ username y/n i would give you my cat if i could see a video of max doing a tiktok trend 🧎‍♀️

↳ yourusername check your dm please xoxoxoxo

yourusername MORE FOOTWORK MORE FOOTWORK 🕺🏽

charles_leclerc 😂

alex_albon Fucking finally 😮‍💨

landonorris I called dibs on being captain of the ship

↳ bffusername hi there, sorry to bother you. y/n's bff here. that position is already taken 🙏

↳ username speak uP? danielricciardo

↳ danielricciardo I don't engage in useless banter, I already have the position of being the godfather of their future child 😁

↳ landonorris exPLAIN??? maxverstappen1 yourusername

username the fact that this post has better engagement than max's wdc post i-

username now we know how max knew all of the viral tiktok sounds 😭

↳ yourusername we're planning to make a tiktok couple account

↳ username ?!??!?!??!?!??! ARE YOU FOR REAL

↳ yourusername please don't take it seriously, I WAS JOKING 😁🙏

author's notes: eden the scammer is back after 2 months guys, so sorry for making you guys wait too long (and giving you guys false hope) 👹 really hope you guys liked this one hehe, i also take additional request for tcs!! (but as you probably know, it's gonna take me 8273 years to finally post it). there are some references from my lando series in this part, so if you're interested you can also check it out 😙 LOVE YOUUUWWW, now i will hibernate for another 5 months 🤸‍♀️

taglist: @flwr-stella @reidsworld @myloverjk-blog @debss-319 @hiraethrhapsody @electrobutterfly @love4lando @lunnnix @allenajade-ite @jjsprobablywrong @whoreks @soleilgrec @oscarwildingsworld @christianpulisic10 @thievin-stealing @glitterf1 @elliegrey2803 @trouble-sistar @escapism-writer @cornerofacry @hollie911 @weasleyswizarding-wheezes @ad-astra-again @canyon-lwt @thecubanator2 @lifesuckslife @leclercloml @sunny44 @nmw-am @sachaa-ff @multilovebot @glow-ish @moneygramhaas @whitefireproofs @icarus-nex @iloveyou3000morgan @ccallistata @copper-boom @fictionalcharacterslut @celesteblack08 @maxiel-jpg @slytherheign @lunyyx @series-books-food @coffeehurricanes @shrimpyshrimp @somanyfandomsbruh @justcallmeelli @laneyspaulding19 @ironmaiden1313

pictures (c) to pinterest

#max verstappen #formula 1 #f1 #max verstappen x reader #max verstappen x y/n #max verstappen x you #max verstappen imagine #max verstappen fanfic #max verstappen smau #f1 x reader #f1 x y/n #f1 x you #f1 fanfic #f1 imagine #f1 smau #archiverstappen

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nouvellevqgue · 5 months

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GODDESS

pairing: oscar piastri x model!reader

summary: when they said girlfriend effects is real, now take a look at oscar and his significant change on his aesthetic and self.

warning: timeline inaccuracies, daniel appearing on sus moments, lovesick oscar

a/n: i think i haven't made smau for oscar just yet, and this time i'll make him so in love with his gf as he always do.

₊˚⊹౨ৎ ⋆｡✦˚‎

yourusername

liked by blakelively, bellahadid, francesca.cgomes and 619,724 others

yourusername i'm here for you wmagazine

view all 43,197 comments...

naileadevora you are so gorgeous i don't understand

ellefanning that magazine is from the waiting room, i believe...🤔

⤷ yourusername indeed it is😄

username is she the rumored wag?

⤷ username girl she IS the wag.

username she is so magnificent damnnn

username this is so blair waldorf coded

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bellahadid pretty pretty angel 👼🏻

username who is she rumored with tho?

landonorris 📷

username i thought y/n is oscar's wag??

⤷ username she is

⤷ username so why's lando commenting and not him

⤷ landonorris phone limit is real in here

oscarpiastri

liked by yourusername, lando.jpg, and 380,139 others

oscarpiastri 🍂🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿

view all 31,702 comments...

username oscar why are you switching your aesthetic to this what happened?

username since when did he becoming so aesthetic

username girlfriend effect is real y'all

username AESTHETIC OSCAR😍😍

yourusername what happened to your usual orange related posts?

⤷ oscarpiastri washed it up

⤷ username wdym washed it up?

username he is so gorgeous (i just see his lower body)

username he does this on purpose

landonorris yo yourusername look at your boyfriend

⤷ yourusername i am looking respectfully 👁️👁️

⤷ username i believe that is respectful enough

username but imagine oscar being like this everytime like oh shiii

username bro is changing his aesthetic overnight is crazy

username i mean if your gf is y/n i'll be doing that too

liked by oscarpiastri

username OSCAR WITHOUT ORANGE???😱🫵🏻‼️🗣️

yourusername

liked by prada, gigihadid, oscarpiastri, and 790,631 others

yourusername how's your sunday going?

👤: prada

view all 20,197 comments...

oscarpiastri going perfect with my beautiful lover

⤷ yourusername wonder who she is

landonorris enough flirting in the comments section guys

username i understand oscar i understand

username that prada sunny is looking real good omg i want itttt

carmenmmundt so beautiful 😘

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username i'm excited to see her on the paddock with the wags

⤷ yourusername i mean... 🤷🏽‍♀️ oscarpiastri

⤷ oscarpiastri 🫣

username don't be like that oscar i know you want it too

username deep down he wants it too

⤷ username ikr 😌

yourusername

liked by balenciaga, badbunny, oscarpiastri, and 612,804 others

yourusername tell them daddy's home

view all 21,709 comments...

username the way i choked on my coffee

username with just this i am feral like oscar pls pick up your gf

username he wasn't wrong when he said i'm in love with her bcs so do i

username ASJSKWSMSNSAK@!#$&+)#(_38

oscarpiastri my pretty pretty angel

oscarpiastri my angel, my goddess

oscarpiastri you are truly a blessing from god to me

⤷ yourusername oh pleeeeeeaasseeee

⤷ username i bet she's blushing when she typed that

username why is she naked

⤷ username it ain't naked, it's fashion

⤷ username as long as she showed her boobs out i think it's naked

⤷ username and as long as i see you here i think it's useless

username AWWWW PLS I'M SINGLE LET ME CRY IN PEACE

⤷ username username cry with me then😭

username DADDY'S HOOOOMEEEEEE

username slaying the office look down

username balenciaga really said: say no more we're gonna making you a daddy

⤷ username if she's daddy, oscar's the mommy then

⤷ danielricciardo i love what we're talking about here

⤷ username danielricciardo WHY R U HERE😭😭

yourusername and lailahasanovic

liked by lailahasanovic, mickschumacher, oscarpiastri, and 824,681 others

yourusername girl dinner?

👤: lailahasanovic, sandyliang

view all 22,120 comments...

lailahasanovic girl dinner indeed

username WHAT THEY'RE TOGETHER NOW

username i used to pray for situation like this

lailahasanovic so much fun with youuu😚🩷

⤷ yourusername u too my babyyy<33

username literally blair and serena irl

⤷ yourusername xoxo😚💋

sandyliang two of a very beautiful friendship

username girl dinner indeed🍽️😋

username you can see the efforts of her taking a perfect picture for the earrings

username we love a full efforts queen

mickschumacher 😘🥰

username mick 🤝 oscar = their gf biggest supporter

username i never thought of this crossover to even happen

username i mean the both wags are model, but i am waiting for her to join rebbeca or smth idk

oscarpiastri 😍🥴

⤷ landonorris i can see him smiling while replying this. he is too lovesick with you please pick him up

⤷ charles_leclerc i see him too

⤷ danielricciardo i have his picture

⤷ oscarpiastri why are you always doing that

₊˚⊹౨ৎ ⋆｡✦˚‎

yourusername added to their story!

caption: here we go, rocking it again

oscarpiastri added to their story!

₊˚⊹౨ৎ ⋆｡✦˚‎

yourusername

liked by oscarpiastri, francesca.cgomes, scuderiaferrari and 420,765 others

yourusername so scarlet it was maroon 🍷

view all 11,862 comments...

mclaren no y/n this is not you💔💔...

username ferrari's liking...

username she showed up, posting after the show and looking red not orange what is this all about actually

username omg i have a crazy idea here

carlossainz55 i swear we did not tell her anything

username she rocking every color and i am so jealous of it

oscarpiastri my beautiful girl

oscarpiastri 🍷😍

username what happened to her hair?

⤷ yourusername i trimmed it just a bit

⤷ username BUT SHE LOOKS COOL ANYWAY😭😭

username i know she listens to taylor bcs who didn't

⤷ username ...probably oscar

⤷ username she'll make him a swiftie in no time

username she looks stunning in red, wonder what she'll looks like in orange

username orange dresses are quite hard to get tho

⤷ username i know, but because of that rareness, orange is quite luxurious too

⤷ username it's papaya tho, not orange

⤷ username as long as it looks orange, i called it orange

f1wags

liked by username, username, and 56,291 others

f1wags international model and oscar piastri's girlfriend, y/n l/n is finally coming to monaco grand prix after a long while not attending the gp. the model's shared a long awaited hug with her partner and also had her time to visit a monaco yacht show a moment before that. other than that, she looks very beautiful with an elegant combination of her fits when she attended the monaco yacht show.

photo credit: @/vivienecarolf1 on x.

view all 9,729 comments...

username even admin is a y/n fan

⤷ username everybody is a y/n fan, even if they're not, they are a y/n fan

username she looks so darn gorgeous

username as they always said, oscar is never wrong in choosing his partner bcs she is sooooooo glorious

username oscar's right she is a goddess

username i might be switching side

username rich girl energy

username she's got that carlos energy type of richness

username that prada sunglasses is everywhere

yourusername added to their story!

caption: snooze💤

₊˚⊹౨ৎ ⋆｡✦˚‎

yourusername

liked by maxverstappen1, oscarpiastri, and 628,990 others

yourusername 🧚🏼‍♀️🧚🏼‍♀️🧚🏼‍♀️

view all 18,619 comments...

username she is so pretty

username literal fairy i agree

username my favorite y/n picture is out y'all

oscarpiastri 🥴

gigihadid pretty bb<3

anokyai 😚😚😚😚

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⤷ yourusername chanel?

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reiderwriter · 4 months

Text

Unhappy Holidays

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader

Summary: You're unlucky enough to run into Spencer Reid at holiday celebrations four years in a row. In the New Year, you're resolving to rid him from your mind forever, but you never were one to stick to resolutions 👻🦃🎄🎆

Warnings: SMUT 18+ minors dni, enemies to lovers, low-key work rivals, semi-public sex, car sex, hate sex, fingering, thigh riding, creampie, unprotected sex (no condoms but contraceptive mentioned), slight spoilers for s4 of Criminal Minds (but not really).

Prompt Request: #50"You're so fucking obsessed with me.” #82"Really? Because your pussy is saying something different, sweetheart.” #93"Use my thigh. You've been staring at it all night anyway.”

A/N: This is my first submission for @imagining-in-the-margins November/December Office Party writing challenge! I'm sorry I've been so busy recently, but the holiday season really does take a lot of effort to get through at work lmao. Hopefully, I'll be able to post more over my vacation! For now, enjoy some very unserious smut~♡ (as if I write any other kind).

Here's a link to my masterlist, where you can find all my work!~☆

Working with the FBI was no walk in the park, which, from your desk at the opposite corner of the bullpen, Spencer Reid sure made it look like.

Working on adjacent teams for the last three years had become gradually infuriating. You were forever in the man's orbit, stuck dealing with the other women on your team sat giggling about him and his many stupid haircuts, and wondering just how far you'd fallen to have to stare at his stupid face 5 days a week.

If you were unlucky. His team did happen to be out on cases a lot more, whereas yours handled correspondence and consulting cases, a cushy and safe job.

It annoyed you to no end that you had multiple field-based qualifications, extensive fire arms training and were top of your class at the academy only to be relegated yo desk duty whilst boy wonder with his doctorates was allowed to trip over his own feet catching actual killers.

Other people wondered where your dislike of the man sprang from, and you could only let out a disgruntled squeak and tell them your horror stories.

A few months into your job, your been fresh faced and bushy tailed or however that saying goes, and overly eager to take any assignment that came your way. Even if the assignment was baby-sitting an injured Doctor Spencer Reid. He'd been shot whilst out on a case whilst trying to talk down an unsub, and you'd jumped at the chance to get to know him.

He was an office legend, of course, though those days it was more for his characteristic lack of social graces rather than the beauty he'd grown into. You'd been so eager to get to pick his brains, find out how he'd managed to score the position on the BAU at such an early age.

Reality had hit you square in the face when he'd spent a week ignoring you, making you run around like a headless chicken searching for hard copies of documents the FBI had digitised a millennia ago, and hadn't so much as spared you a glance.

The straw that broke the camel's back came as you were running back to him triumphant with a document he'd requested eight hours before and had let yourself into Penelope Garcia’s office quietly, only to hear him bad mouthing you.

“She makes me uncomfortable. I've had her out searching for useless files all day because I don't know what to do with her.”

“She's trying to help, Spencer, it's her job right now, cut her some slack.”

“Her job is currently getting in the way of mine. I even tried writing my own doctor's note so I could get rid of her, but Hotch wouldn't allow it.”

You'd dropped the file loudly on the table, watched the two spin around with horrified looks and turned silently and left the room.

He hadn't once tried to find you after that, and you let your apprenticeship under Doctor Reid quietly fizzle out as you got back to your regular work.

Your resentment still burned though.

Each time you'd been caught in the same elevator with him, you'd ignored him to an almost insane degree, enjoying the way he squirmed and tried to make small talk.

You'd been in contact with JJ and his Unit Chief Aaron Hotchner as well, through cases you'd recommended, but always maintained your cold shoulder.

The one place you could not ignore him, however, was a Penelope Garcia party.

After you'd slammed the file down on her desk, Penelope had guiltily sent you a gift basket filled with sweet treats and books, and had hounded you for a week to make sure your feelings weren't too damaged by her friend's stupidity.

You actually liked her, and found at least one silver lining to the storm that was Spencer Reid ripping through your life.

In the three years since the “incident,” you'd found yourself at three parties where Penelope in all of her heartwarming ways had tried her best to force a reconciliation between the two of you, to disastrous results.

The first was a Halloween party, and you'd been incredibly proud of your Princess Laia costume when you'd arrived. Only until you'd gone to the kitchen to top up your drink to hear Spencer Reid boring some guest or the other about how Star Trek was more advanced, and had a richer plot line.

Penelope had stepped into the kitchen just as he'd caught a glimpse of your (rather skimpy) outfit - yes, you'd chosen swimsuit Laia, yes, you were going to own it - and had immediately jumped into introductions, as if you weren't already intimately acquainted.

“Spencer! This is Y/N! She loves Halloween, too, she makes all of her costumes. You guys should talk.” She'd led the other guest away and left you there with Spencer as you'd awkwardly looked upon his own costume.

“Are you the Tenth Doctor?” You asked begrudgingly, noting his pin-striped suit and the shorter hairstyle he'd chosen.

“Are you a fan? I prefer the original show run more than the current stuff, but David Tennant has really been doing a wonderful-”

“I'm sorry, let me stop you there. I don't watch Doctor Who. I guess I prefer something with a… How should I say, richer plot?”

He'd snapped his mouth shut and didn't have chance to open it again before you turned dramatically and walked away from him.

The second party you'd been cornered into was just over a year later.

Having been stuck in the office over Halloween, Penelope was determined to get in one last celebration before Christmas steam-rolled every other holiday, and thus you'd been invited to her single-people-only-friendsgiving-potluck, and you'd found yourself having to navigate knocking on her door with a casserole dish in your hands.

Luckily a large hand had appeared from behind you and knocked on the door for you. Unfortunately, the sudden shock from the silent appearance of a man right behind you startled you so much that the dish fell straight from your hands anyway.

Penelope opened her door upon hearing the crash and you whirled on your would-be attacker.

It was Spencer again, eyes round in shock, hand still curled into a fist.

You took a calming breath as you gathered yourself, trying not to bite his head off. You wanted to scream and shout and rip his head out but you didn't, instead letting the fury drip into your voice as you finally opened your eyes again.

“That dish took me four fucking hours to make.” You huffed in anger once more as Penelope guided you into the apartment and poured you a glass of wine before you moved back to the entry hall to clean it up again.

Needless to say he didn't care to converse with you after that.

A few small parties in between had been blissfully Spencer-less and you'd lulled yourself into a false sense of security. That's when you accepted the Christmas party invitation.

As one of the unlucky few members of the FBI who had to stay out over christmas in case of some emergency or the other, you'd been grounded in Virginia, unable to travel home for the holidays. So Penelope Garcia's singles-only-Christmas-fun-time-Party was your last ditch effort to spend the holidays actually resting and eating good food.

Learning from last time, Penelope reassured you that there was no potluck, that she had prepared all the food herself, and all you'd need were a bottle of wine and a willingness to party.

You'd taken those recommendations as law and had immediately let yourself into a glass of mulled wine as you arrived, and - noticing that the party was Reid-free - had allowed it to raise your Christmas spirits slightly more than you usually would.

By hour two of the event, you were full of yuletide joy and swaying freely along to the tune of Silent Night.

Spencer’s late entrance really would have gone unnoticed by you had you not bumped face first into his chest as you spun yourself around in your dance, his hands quickly falling to your hips to steady you.

The few moments it took you to gather yourself were about as long as you needed to realised that he'd caught you in his arms underneath the mistletoe. And with your mind fogged by mulled-whatever-it-was-Penelope-mixed-into-that-punch, the part of your brain that objected to the very existence of Spencer Reid went silent, and the incredibly tiny and somewhat damaged part of your brain that instead saw him as attractive started shouting loud instructions.

Before your common sense could return, you pushed yourself up on your tiptoes to kiss the very warm, very close man holding you upright.

“Mistletoe,” you muttered as you clawed his arms off of you and took yourself straight to Penelope's bathroom to throw up.

So yes, your acquaintance with Spencer Reid had never been good, and you were perfectly fine with resenting him from afar, privately.

With three years of bad experiences under your belt, you weren't excited at completing your yearly tradition of horrendous interaction. Which is perhaps why you immediately and loudly protested Penelope’s New Years Eve party invitation.

“Y/N, it's a party. What's the worst that can happen?” She pleaded as she followed you down the corridors of the office building.

“I could see Spencer Reid. I could be forced to converse with Spencer Reid. I could get absolutely wasted and kiss Spencer Reid. There, three options, please accept my resignation from partying.”

“Y/N we both know you don't drink anymore, so at least one of those is unlikely to happen. And Spencer might not even come, he has tickets for an indie theatre from 6pm onwards, they're playing some Russian movie from the 60s that's like 4 hours long or something. So u retire yourself and tell me you'll come?” She had to take three or four steps for each of your own, not that you were so different in height but because you were practically marching in order to avoid the topic.

But you finally stopped and let out a sigh as you turned back to Penelope who stopped just before she ran into you.

“You're sure he won't be there?”

“I'm sure he RSVP’d no.”

“Fine. But I'm not drinking and I will still be expecting the Penelope Garcia virgin punch experience.”

“Bring the party poppers and you have a deal.”

“Done.”

–X–

Over the week since you'd accepted the invitation, you'd made peace with it. For the most part, you did love a Penelope Garcia production. There was something wonderful about your friend and her ability to brighten anyone's mood, an ability that was only heightened at holidays. She was like a glittered goddess gaining power when worshippers used her altar, except the altar was her house and the worship was a range of hallmark-induced holidays.

You arrived at the party at 10pm, and though that was the start time you'd been given, you weren't surprised to see a full house of Penelope’s team mates already in attendance. Derek Morgan, Jennifer Jareau and Emily Prentiss sat spread across the sofa in the living room area, and you noticed a few techie friends also grabbing drinks and chatting.

“Y/N, I'm so glad you're here! You remember everyone on the team, right?” She pulled you into a hug and then sat you down in the middle of the group, waiting for you to mingle and become comfortable before she ran off to more hostess duties.

“Of course, nice to see you guys.” You grabbed your promised punch and sat back comfortably, striking up a conversation with Emily about how bleak the dating scene had been recently.

“It seems like all the men around me are jackasses,” Emily muttered and you giggled along.

“I'm wounded,” Morgan shot back, a hand pressed to his chest in faux pain.

“Good. You're like a lion out there in the clubs stalking gazelles, it's like watching a nature documentary when you're out there.”

You almost snorted your entire drink up your nose as Emily finished, needing to compose yourself for a second.

“I guess the men on our team aren't great with romance,” JJ laughed and took a swing. “Hotch and Rossi have four divorces between them, and Derek here is a lost cause.”

“Our only hope is young Spencer. May he grow into a respectful young gentleman and break out curse,” Emily toasted.

“Oh that ship has sailed,” your laugh this time was bitter, your mood immediately growing sour with even the smallest mention of Spencer Reid.

“Ah, Penelope mentioned you had a problem with our boy wonder. Care to share?”

You opened your mouth to give your standard non-answer and move the conversation along, but you were interrupted.

“Yes, Y/N, care to share? I am slightly curious about that as well.” You turned around and there he was, and your stomach turned in disgust.

Just one time, just one party. You'd been having fun, and here he was to ruin it.

“What are you doing here?” you gaped up at him, unsurprised to see him still decked out in sweater vest and slacks even in his down time.

“I was invited.”

“You declined, Penelope said you had movie tickets.”

“Ticket, singular. And it was cancelled so here I am. What's your problem with me, Y/N?” His jaw clenched and he grabbed the back of your chair and leaned down. It was supposed to be intimidating, but you rolled your eyes. When he looked that attractive, veins in his arms popping out of the sleeves he'd pulled up, you couldn't see him as intimidating. His arms were distracting yes, but God that was nothing compared to his thighs. His pants were tight, and you thanked whatever Clueless tailor had sewn them, because you now allowed yourself a momentary lapse to enjoy the appearance of his lower body.

You tried to shake the thought of his attractiveness from your mind, reminding yourself where you were and in what company.

“I don't think I need to answer that. I think I'll enjoy holding it over your head instead,” you said, standing up and beginning to gather your things.

“Wait, Y/N, where are you going? New Year isn't for another 30 minutes.” Penelope scrambled over and grabbed your hand, pleading with you to stay.

“I'm sorry Pen, but there's just this very annoying bug buzzing around me, and I think I need to get away from it.” You said your goodbyes and excused yourself from the party, happy to have walked away relatively undamaged.

Fate had other plans, and as you stepped out of the apartment building ready to walk yourself home, a hand caught yours from behind as a voice chased you.

“Y/N, wait. I'll go. You go back inside.”

“And return with my tail tucked between my legs after making a grand exit? I'll pass, thanks boy genius.” You shook yourself from his grasp and made to walk away again, but he quickly matched your pace and stepped into your path, cutting you off.

“I can't let you walk home. It's like 40° out here, and your coat is more style than substance.”

“Get into a car with a stranger? I'm sure you of all people know how stupid that sounds.” You stuck a finger out and poked his chest, but he grabbed your hand and held it in place as he spat out his next words.

“I'm not a stranger, I'm the man you're obsessed with, Y/N. Big difference.” You laughed, mostly in shock at his indignance, but he stared at your face as serious as could be.

“Me? Obsessed with you? I'm not the one who followed a woman they're barely acquainted with out of a party filled with all of my friends. Sounds like you're projecting, Spencer.”

“Am I?” He questioned, stepping closer and grabbing your hip as he continued his questioning. “I wasn't the one who was sat there talking about me with all of my colleagues.”

“Well, I wasn't the one who turned up to a party I'd declined an invitation to.”

He was imperceptibly close now, hand gripping your hip so tight you wondered if it'd leave you with a mark.

“I certainly was not the one who initiated a kiss last year, Y/N. You need to face the facts, you're so fucking obsessed with me.” If his hands had you feeling dizzy, his words were completely knocking the sense out of you. Suddenly you returned to the person you'd been under that Mistletoe, and everything from his closeness to the rough edge to his voice begged you to do it once again.

“Go fuck yourself,” was about all the words you could manage as he finally let his lips fall down and crush into your own.

You should've pushed him away, but instead your traitorous body wanted to prove his point, opening up for him faster than you'd opened up to anyone else before.

His tongue flicked against your lips and you gladly let him explore your mouth, opening up to tangle your tongue with his.

He tasted sweet, like the punch Penelope had handed you earlier, only now you wondered if someone had accidentally laced it with how free you were being with your affections.

He resurfaced for air, but you didn't care if there was nothing in your lungs at all if it meant that his lips would engage your own in battle once again.

“Look how much you want me,” he smirked. “Look how needy you are after a single kiss, chasing my lips like that.”

“You and your big fucking mouth. I wish you'd shut up once in a while.”

“I'll make it my new year’s resolution.” His lips joined your own again, and you clashed hard, exploring as much as you could muster as he pulled you in the direction of his car.

“I'm not driving… home… with you,” you growled between kisses, trying not to put your teeth to his neck and bite down hard. You're not sure if that impulse was a murderous one or a kinky one.

“I'm not putting you in the front seat, Y/N, I'm putting you in the back. You should be familiar with the idea.”

Heat sparked between your legs, and you allowed yourself to be manhandled into the beat-up trash heap of a car.

He'd not taken his hands off you as he got you in, pushing himself in first and then pulling you by the hand that you'd unconsciously gripped hard. You immediately straddled his hips, skirt naturally riding up in the process. He noticed and looked curiously down at you, growling as you pressed your lips against his neck and grabbed you instead by the hair gathered in a ponytail at the back of your head.

“See, you're obsessed with me. Just admit it.” Without breaking eye contact, he dug his fingers into the material of your tights and pulled in opposite directions, leaving your underwear exposed to his wandering eyes.

“I'm not obsessed with you,” your voice needed conviction to land, but it came out as a lusty whisper, especially as he slipped his fingers inside your underwear and finally touched your aching cunt.

“Really? Because your pussy is saying something else, Princess.” He found your clit faster than you'd ever expected, rubbing slow circles into your skin as you began rocking your hips back and forth.

It was becoming hard to disagree with him, with each flick of wrist growing the heat between your legs. You attacked his neck again, hands practically ripping at his top buttons so you could muffle the sounds of your arousal against his neck, collarbone, chest, any stretch of that pale skin available to you.

He forced your hips to a stop with one hand as he slipped a single digit inside of your hole, gathering your arousal as he set a steady pace, thumb keeping your bundle of nerves occupied.

“Listen, Y/N, can you hear that?”

“I can't h-hear anything.” You had to grind your teeth together to get the words out with minimal interruptions of moans bursting from the pit of your stomach.

He leaned in close to your ear, nuzzling your neck and placing chaste kisses up towards your ear, finally pulling away just enough to whisper a single word in your ear.

“Liar.”

His hand stilled and pulled off you quickly and your eyes broke open, hands unconsciously fitting into his shirt as if you were worried he was going to leave you there like this, on the edge of pleasure but still so far away.

“Use my thigh. You've been staring at it all night anyway.”

“Jackass. You've only been here for like 20 minutes.”

“You can climb right out of this car if you want to, Y/N.” He tried to keep his tone light, but the death grip he had on your thighs, the very obvious tent pitched in his pants and the way his eyes couldn't go five seconds without undressing you told you you had more power in this interaction than he wanted to give you.

There was no way either of you were letting the other go unused tonight.

You relaxed your grip on his shirt and shifted your weight to one of his thighs. Lithe he may be, but lowering yourself down there was an unexpected strength there. He watched on curiously as you rocked experimentally against him. Back and forth you rocked, trying desperately to keep up his momentum or tempt him to help you out again.

It was time to let your voice back out, and you did, moaning without a care as you hummed his leg like a bitch in heat.

“You're enjoying this lot, huh, Y/N,” he muttered, and you watched as his hand worked his pants zip open, removing one of the barriers in the way between the two of you, as he began palming himself.

“What's that saying? Anything you can do, I can do better?” He growled at that response but didn't stop you. Instead he bought a hand down on your ass as you moved, so hard you jolted at the sudden pain. Your eyes shot open as your hips stilled, but you felt warmth grow between your legs.

“Yes, you definitely enjoyed that. Should I do that again, or do you think we should hurry this up and go back up for the countdown?”

You hesitated only a second before you pushed his hand off his lap, shifting your hips further towards his knees before letting your hand reach for where his had just been.

You didn't let yourself think about how big he was as you pulled his cock free, didn't let yourself wonder how he measured up against anyone you'd been with before. You didn't let yourself waste time thinking about how various office rumours were true, and definitely not a second was wasted feeling jealous about how those rumours were spread in the first place.

Instead you simply slammed your lips back against his, mouth opening to let your tongue engage his as you lifted your hips with his help and lowered yourself down on him.

You didn't have to rid yourself of sinful thoughts after that as he purged every single brain cell from your head, filling you so contently that there was simply no space for anything but him.

You locked up on top of him, clawing at his shoulders as you whimpered at the stretched, falling so he was balls deep inside you. You wanted to move, to use him for your pleasure, but your walls tightened every time you even thought about it as he stroked your hair through it all.

It had been some time since you'd last had a sexual partner, and you needed the few minutes to overcome the first uncomfortable bliss of it all.

“That good?” he whispered, but the harsh tone of earlier was gone, replaced only by unsure humour to break the silence.

“Been a while.” He nodded, kissing you again to distraction as he shifted your positions.

Cradling your neck and securing your legs comfortably around him, he lowered you against the backseat, pulling out slightly as you adjusted to the new angle.

“Better?” You nodded quickly, because it was. There was no more pressure on your legs, and despite the cramped space in the car, you had enough space to lie almost flat.

“Yes… thank you.” Just as his cutting tone had escaped him, you also heard your own tone softening, the sigh of contentment slipping past your lips almost sweet. Almost.

“Are you going to fuck me now, or what?”

He let out a shocked laugh, but lent down to shut you up with a kiss nonetheless. Bracing himself against the car door, his hips softly rocked into you, pace increasing until you were back to the edge of cumming, nails pressed hard into his skin until you were sure he was going to complain.

He didn't though, but kept up his thrusts, until your vision suddenly darkened and stars exploded in them, rolled back in your head as they were.

“Shit, shit, shit, shit, where should I…?” He panicked, but you wrapped your legs around him, grabbing him by the tie and pulling him down to swallow his moan as he shot his load inside of you.

“Birth control.” You whispered when you finally let him go, gasping for air. “Contraceptive pill. No need to get the car dirty.”

He collapsed on top of you then, forehead resting against your own as you both caught your breaths.

The moment was silent, and you found the synchronicity of your breaths almost calming. Eventually you had to break apart, and he helped you up to a sitting position, but didn't break eye contact as fell back into his lap.

His hands stroked your back, dipping to your ass at times, but he didn't talk. Neither of you did.

The eye contact between the two of you was possibly the most pleasant conversation you'd ever had.

“I'm sorry.” He blurted, just as fireworks erupted into the night sky. Your heart shook, and you weren't sure of it was the shock of the sound, or the way the rainbow of lights illuminated his sincere expression.

“You don't have to apologise for cumming in me, Spencer.”

“Not that. Before. The casserole and the mistletoe, and the Halloween costume.”

“Wow. Um, okay. Apology accepted, I guess, though I'm not entirely sure why you're apologising now.”

He took a deep breath just as another set of fireworks went up.

“I pulled you under the mistletoe. It was Penelope’s idea, she knew how stupid I was being around you and sent me over. I saw it and took the chance.”

“Fuck. Why?”

“Because I was pretty useless at being chivalrous the year before.”

You climbed off his lap in a scramble and sat on the seat beside him, mind racing, trying to figure out where the hell he was going with this.

He turned to you, trying to keep your attention as he stumbled over the words.

“You couldn't knock on the door, so I wanted to help you, but I didn't think I'd scare you so much you'd drop it.”

“You didn't scare me it was a momentary lapse in my observational skills.”

“You shrieked,” a smile threatened to pull his lips up, they twitched as you flushed red.

“And Halloween?” You looked at him again now, trying to figure out what the hell was going on between the two of you.

“You refused to look at me for a year after we stopped working together,” he shrugged quickly running a hand through his hair and expelling a breath. “I don’t really know how to talk to women.”

“You just know how to piss them off?”

“Morgan says it comes naturally.”

“Yeah, well, Morgan is very wise.”

A brief silence stretched between you, or as silent as a night full of cracks, pops, whizzes and bangs could be.

“I don't get it. You tried your best to get rid of me when I was there to help you. I wanted to impress you, and you kept sending me on meaningless errands, and now you're saying what? You wanted my attention?” There was a quiet anger to your voice, but you were surprised to find it diminished and tired.

“I wanted you gone because you were distracting me, Y/N, not because I hated you.”

“Well, what's the difference, Doctor Reid? Please indulge me.” You huffed a little but kept your eyes on him, trying not to seem too desperate for his answer.

“I have an IQ of 187. Emily says when I'm around a pretty girl it's more like 52,” he fidgeted with his pants, forcing the words out.

“You're a pretty girl. We had a case to work and all I could think about was how to get you to like me. Hotch chewed me out like three separate times for being absent minded.”

He was looking anywhere but you, trying his best not to appear like a fool but you were locked onto him.

“Oh my god you're an idiot.”

“When you're around, yes.”

“And that means I'm equally stupid.”

“No, you just jump to conclusions and hold grudges. There wasn't anything really that stupid about your actions, though it could be suggested that not thoroughly thinking through the wording of the conversation you overheard-”

You cut him off with a kiss, pulling him down again mlby his tie.

“Oh my god, shut up,” you whispered as you broke apart.

“Does that mean we can do this again? Because I'd like to do this again?”

“Stop talking, start kissing jackass.”

He finally didn't argue with that, pulling you back into him as you sat under the stars in his car welcoming the new year.

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