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violets-in-her-arms-writes · 1 year

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WIP Introduction: La Fledgling

Titre : La Fledgling

Genre : urban fantasy ; romance ; action

Status : first draft

Target wordcount : ~80k (probably more but I'm in denial, leave me alone)

Actual wordcount : 57k

(I had to scrape 20k of what I wrote for the NaNo bc it was written in the wrong POV. Kill. Me.)

TW : blood, violence, alcohol & substance abuse

Synopsis :

Jo Hautain is in love with a vampire. It has been her reality since her girlfriend has been turned, seven years ago, and yet, she still manages to be surprise but the utter bullshit that came with this life-changing transformation. What do you mean Lou has to bond with an established Coven to rule her bloodlust ? What do you mean Jo is not enough ? Still, she is not one to go gently into the night. If the Rodins think they are worthy of Lou, they will have to prove it. When the vampiric masquerade ball Lou has been invited to (and which Jo crashed) takes a turn for the worse, she must come up with a new plan to ensure her girlfriend's survival while trying to preserve her own heart. Unfortunately, Lou isn't the only one having issues of the supernatural variety. Iris suffers from a rare fae disease currently trying to kill her, Charlie still can't accept being a wolf three nights a month and is sinking even deeper into despair as time goes by, Alex longs to return to the sea, despite knowing it would be her undoing. And Ana is hunted and hounded by the Virulentes, the less-than-human leaders of the witch's community, who resent her "abusive use of magic". Add to the mix two customers too charming for their own good, a mysterious Coven settling back into their town and a ghost from the past lurking in the shadows, and Jo is ready to throw the towel. No, really, it's not easy being to be the only sensible one around, but someone has to do it. Jo just wishes it would be someone else, for once.

Settings : a big city filled with supernatural creatures ; a gloomy manor ; a cozy apartment crumbling under the secrets of its habitants ; a café/bar théâtre de tous les drames

Characters:

Johanne “Jo” Hautain || [27] || lesbian || human || perpetually exhausted ; Done™ ; doesn't have a moral code

Louise “Lou” Venti || [27] || bisexual || vampire fledgling || losing herself to bloodlust ; passive ; doesn't know anything

Anaëlle “Ana” Charles || [27] || lesbian || witch || breaks magical laws for breakfast ; hunted by the Virulentes ; would also like a nap

Iris Adam || [26 human years - 15th reincarnation] || bisexual || fae || dying ; technically royalty ; runaway

Charlotte “Charlie” Thomas || [26] || lesbian || werewolf || allergic to dogs ; fashion enthusiast ; comfort or death

Alexandra “Alex” Martinez || [26] || lesbian || mermaid || escaped death by fleeing on land ; there are many benefits to being a marine biologist (as long as you don't go at sea) ; sarcasm lover

(and many more!)

[PLAYLIST] [PINTEREST BOARD] [GENERAL TAG]

Tag list: @lena-rambles, @the-stray-storyteller, @sarahlizziewrites

ask to be added or remove to the taglist 💜

#écriture #wip: la fledgling #don't look at the synopsis too long... it kicked my ass and won 💀#also fuck english has a whole if i think about it too long it stops making sense #wip introduction #wip intro #writerblr

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omni-scient-pan-da · 1 year

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Okay so new college post instead of reblogging that infinitely long one but here's the gist of the situation under the cut, it's a ramble, and I'm mostly just trying to get my thoughts coherent so no need to feel obligated to offer your sympathies or anything like that because of the situation kinda thing @omni-scient-pan-da

Okay so-

I applied to 10 schools because my guidance counselor got me a fee waiver

I applied to 5 in state schools and 5 out of state schools (four of which were Ivy Leagues and one of which was Ivy Adjacent so like a long shot)

So far I've been accepted to all 5 in state schools and rejected from 1 out of state school and I'm waiting to hear back from 3 Ivy Leagues and the 1 Ivy League Adjacent

But see... The thing is, Michelle also got accepted to one of the in state schools, aka the most prestigious school in our state, and that's like her dream school and she already committed and everything, and we had joked in the past that we should room together if we went to the same college but since we both got in, Michelle has been like... Seriously talking about us rooming together

And she understands and supports the fact that I'm still waiting on admissions decisions from 4 schools, but ALSO (backstory time)

My parents are separated and my dad is an asshole

Unfortunately he's also an asshole that makes all the money, we live off of like pure child support and then my part time job is used to pay for things for myself that way I don't have to ask my mom for money

My dad is such an asshole that he refuses to fill out the fucking financial aid documents so I can afford to go to college

The ONLY way I'd be able to warrant going to an out of state school is if I have financial aid because they'll take the cost from like 60k-80k down to like free with the bracket we fall under

My father refuses to fill out the financial aid, there's no way to get financial aid without him filling it out, regardless of if I get accepted to these four schools, I don't think I'll be able to afford to go

Anyways, my mother is very upset about this but I've more or less come to terms with it, I've applied for every scholarship I can to go to the prestigious in state school and I would very much like to room with Michelle and start planning dorm layouts and fun things like that, but like--

If I get accepted to any one of those four school's I'll have to decide to not go

Like I'll have to choose to not go because of financial aid or whatever reason

And it'll have been my choice

But if I get denied from all four of those schools I don't have anything to worry about because it makes sense for me to stay in state then, and the only "choice" I have to make suddenly becomes a no-brainer

Apparently the Ivy Adjacent school is announcing their decisions a week from today, which is much sooner than the Ivys who aren't releasing their decisions until March 30th kinda thing which is stressing me out

On one hand it would be really nice to get in, it would be proof that all the hard work and effort I put into school all these years, all the tears I've cried all the late nights I've pulled away worth it to get perfect 4.0 grades in advanced classes

... but on the other hand I would have to make a decision that will probably end in me denying the opportunity to go to a very prestigious school with a good genetics program and I... I really don't want to have to make that decision

So it's not like I don't want to get in, because I'd be very grateful for the opportunity I'd have to attend an out of state school

But for the first time in YEARS I can actually picture a future for myself? And I haven't been able to do that since I was a kid and I really don't want to have to choose between that future I've envisioned for myself and all the what ifs I'd be missing out on if I didn't push myself out of my comfort zone and leave the state to go to school

Idk it's just... A lot of decision making and even though I put a lot of time and energy into those applications, part of me hopes that I just get rejected that way I don't ever have to make the decision between the two and I won't have to wonder what would have happened if I made the other decision

Idk if that makes any sense but yeah, we'll see what happens next Tuesday and then at the end of March with admissions decisions and... Well, here's hoping for an easy decision 🤞🏽

#panda posts

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kd-holloman · 2 years

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The Reaper’s Curse D3

The third draft of The Reaper’s Curse is finished! The draft is at 80k words (a fair amount more than the 67(ish)k of the first draft) before revisions. I've already started revisions and will soon be looking for beta readers! If anyone is interested please let me know! I'd be willing to swap and beta read in exchange 😊

Below I'm going to post some of Chapter One.

TW: for blood, adult language, depression, anxiety, mentions of death and violence.

Chapter One

There was an element of uncertainty to gambling. There was always a chance that the other players at the table had better cards, that they were bluffing, and trying to get the upper hand. Every time the stakes were raised, there was a chance that players would walk away with less cash than they’d had at the start; which was fine – if people only played for fun.

Slater O’Brien didn’t play games for fun.

He played to win.

He stripped the elements of a game down to their barest details, turning over every piece until he understood it from all angles. He studied the players and their tells and when he sensed they were uncomfortable, he raised the stakes.

Everyone had a tell. Every monster had a weakness.

Wesley Scott had a tell, a small one that would mostly go unnoticed by most, and it came in the form of a simple limp.

“Are we almost done?” Louis Mahoney asked. He shifted away from the glass tank next to him. His eyes flicked from the massive boa constrictor behind the glass up to the sign boldly painted sign hanging above it. “World's Largest Python”.

Slater looked at a cloudy jar featuring two-headed pig fetus preserved in formaldehyde. His insides twisted with a macabre sense of curiosity. “Not quite.”

The snake in the tank lifted its head, tongue flicking near the dirty glass. Louis wrinkled his nose and moved across the narrow aisle away from it. “What are we looking for?”

“Not a what,” Slater clarified, “but a whom.” He gestured for Louis to follow him and slipped through the curtain at the end of the carnival trailer’s narrow hall. There were petrified bats with their wings spread pinned in velvet-lined shadow boxes, a tank full of piranhas, scales glittering with flecks of gold, and a variety of bleached animal skulls on display.

He ducked through the strips of plastic that served as a curtain at the end and thundered down the rickety stairs. He didn’t spend much thought dwelling on how he’d just wasted ten bucks to buy tickets to a shit-show that had led them nowhere.

The bottom of the steps presented them with an option. They could return to the muddy, tamped down grass and travel the rest of the Fall Festival’s carnival midway or they could pay an extra eight dollars a piece to see “Osborne’s Oddities”. Tin signs boasted a bearded lady, a live mermaid, the world’s shortest woman, and an Unkillable man.

Louis came to a stop next to him, arms folded over his chest. He looked at the posters before he glanced at Slater, eyebrows twitching upward beneath his paddy cap. “You’re kidding,” he muttered.

He was not.

Slater thumbed through his wallet.

“You’re serious?”

Slater ignored Louis and passed the woman sitting at the booth in front of the red and white tent a twenty dollar bill and accepted the change.. He jammed the crumpled bills into the pocket of his leather jacket. He paused outside of the tent and turned to look at Louis. “Are you coming, Louie?”

“Yeah, yeah, I’m comin’.”

The first stop at Osborne’s Oddities was the mermaid. It was a slim-waisted woman with a synthetic tan, a cotton candy wig, and a manufactured mermaid tail to match.

Louis peered through the plexiglass windows, eyes searching the pool until he found the mermaid sitting above the water on a plastic rock.

When the mermaid saw him she giggled and waved. She pretended to be bashful, sending a demure look over her shoulder as she batted her lashes. Then, she splashed into the water and swam toward them. She smiled in the window. Her hair floated around her like a colorful oil-slick. She blew a kiss at him and winked.

Louis’s ears turned pink and he looked away.

Slater wondered if they’d had mermaid actresses in the twenties, where Louis was from, or if he believed she was a real mermaid. She was something to look at, that was for sure, but he doubted that mermaids — even in Louis’s time — had jailhouse tattoos peeking up from beneath the seams of their tails.

She leaned forward, giving them a decent view down her push-up bikini top.

Slater turned away from the window and headed for the next exhibit.

He was convinced the bearded woman was just a man in drag and the world’s smallest woman was a little person sitting on a larger-than-average chair. The fire swallower was impressive, but they weren’t here to look at him either.

Slater stopped in front of the Unkillable Man. There was a crowd around him, three or four deep from the fence around the stage, but Slater could still see the man’s performance from where he stood.

The man on his stage picked up a dagger the length of his forearm. He turned to his assistant, who held up a newspaper in one hand, and with a well-practiced flick of the wrist he sliced the paper in a clean line from top to bottom.

The knife was deadly sharp.

He then held it up so the audience could see it. The blade glinted off of the bright lights hanging from the tent. Then, he plunged it into his abdomen.

The crowd gasped, one girl even shrieked. Next to him, Louis gave a sympathetic wince. Slater didn’t move, he simply watched.

The Unkillable Man groaned and doubled over. He staggered a step before he fell to his knees. Blood pooled around the hilt of the blade and when the Unkillable man yanked it free, it gleamed crimson. Blood spilled from the hole in his abdomen, soaking his black pants. Then, slowly, it stopped bleeding.

The Unkillable Man rose to his feet and accepted a towel from his assistant. He wiped the blood away. When he moved his arms, his costume was torn and wet with blood. He stuck his fingers in the hole made by the knife and ripped his shirt open further. Beneath the blood, slick on his skin, was a puckered scar where the knife had once been.

It was an impressive act. It was right up there with the levitating magicians and the fire swallower. Only, it wasn’t an act.

Just like Slater and Louis, he had abilities.

The man wasn’t making a show out of being stabbed. He was regenerating. His body was knitting itself back together before his wounds could kill him.

Louis stood next to Slater, arms folded. He scrutinized the man as he shoved three daggers into his stomach at a time. “We’re here for him?”

“No,” Slater said. He scanned the crowd, searching for Wesley Scott. Like Slater, Louis, and the Unkillable Man, Wesley Scott possessed an extraordinary ability. He could wear the skin of someone else. He used the ability to spy for his boss, to sneak past enemy lines, to follow someone without being seen.

Wesley Scott, like everyone else, had tells. He wasn’t the brightest man, the tattoo on his neck was a giveaway. It was one thing for him to take the form of another person, but his tattoos weren’t a conscious part of the transformation. It cost him way more brain-power to cover them up than the rest of his ability required. His mannerisms were flighty in nature, like someone who was always on the verge of being caught. And his most recent tell was a limp from a freshly healed shattered lower leg, courtesy of Louis Mahoney.

Slater scanned the crowd for Wesley’s tells. He wasn’t even sure that he’d be here, but there was no way his boss, Rick O’Shea, would let someone like the Unkillable Man slip from his grip. He would be an undeniable asset to his empire.

Rick O’Shea was the most powerful man in Chicago. The mafia empire he ran had been handed down to him through four generations of O’Shea mobsters, but once Rick had gotten his hands on it, he’d transformed it from something formidable to something untouchable. Slater had been the first person with abilities that he’d hired and after that, he just kept collecting more. And when he started to see the value in what he had, Rick had started kidnapping people with powers and them to the highest bidder.

Someone who could regenerate would be an invaluable member of his team, earning him a spot among Rick’s ranks instead of a padded cell with his veins pumping full of Quench. Rick wouldn’t let The Unkillable Man slip between his fingers.

He would send somebody to keep an eye on him, someone to try to talk him into joining his forces. If that didn’t work, Rick send someone to drug him full of Quench and cart his ass off to Harmon Hills for the ultimatum of a lifetime.

Someone like Wesley Scott.

“O’Brien,” Louis complained, “what are we doing here if we’re not here for The Unkillable Man?”

Slater ignored him. He spotted a movement, a jerky step among the thinning crowd in front of The Unkillable Man.

The stranger was bundled in a peacoat, a winter hat pulled low off his brow, a blue scarf wrapped around his neck. His breath misted out in front of him in the early October night. What gave Wesley Scott away this time, wasn’t a tattoo on his neck. It was a combination of his hobbling steps and the way his eyes flicked over everyone in the tent. His eyes came to a stop on Slater, they widened in recognition.

Slater grinned, making sure to show his teeth when their eyes met. He’d been waiting so long for this moment.

The man hobbled faster toward the exit. He nearly toppled over a person with a cane as he went..

“We’re not here for The Unkillable Man because we’re here for him.” Slater pointed at Wes.

Louis followed his gaze, squinting slightly as he peered through the crowd. He looked like he was looking at a picture with the middle cut out of it, trying to read between the lines to come up with something that made sense. “Who is that?”

“Wesley.”

Recognition was a firework across Louis’s face. Ascending, bursting into recognition, and then fading into something cooler and more rage-filled before it diminished into skepticism. “How do you know?”

Slater grinned. Finally, It had been years of patiently waiting for the opportunity to take care of Pesky Wesley. He’d been biding his time, throwing more chips into the pot as the game progressed.

He was ready to take it all.

Tag List (ask to be added/removed): @tricksexual, @wildler, @ganseyboii, @surrealirist, @obsessionandstuff, @pertinax--loculos, @pe-ersona, @a-curator-of-nonsense, @angelolytle, @andrewminyardd, @lordkingsmith, @gloriafrimpong

#i tried to add a line break but i can't on mobile #the reaper's curse #writeblr #writerblr #writing #slater michael o'brien #writers of tumblr #louis elijah mahoney

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thiscoffeelooksbiracial · 7 months

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Almost free

I have one more presentation due tomorrow and then I am officially done with my apprenticeship. One of the coordinators keeps pestering me for a headshot and a blurb for promo materials. I'm not interested. The first email she sent made participation sound voluntary so I ignored it. I received another request today when I logged on to see if my account was still active. Since I'll be offline for a few days/weeks until I'm hired, hopefully she moves on and leaves me alone. I don't know how to say that I spent most of the program hating it and I don't really recommend it. Everything I've almost accomplished has been in spite of the program. Not because of it.

I almost have a FTE position at the company that hosted my apprenticeship. I should be receiving my offer this week, and then the onboarding process starts from there. Floor nothing less than 70k and I'd feel more financially secure at 80k. Given the economy and the general hell of the current job application process, I could go as low as 65k. Just for peace of mind while I collect certs and get bachelor's.

Interview went well and it should be a sure thing. My main concern is the pre employment screening. Foolishly, I took an edible as a last hurrah thinking that it would clear out of my system in a few days. Instead, it's taken almost 2.5 weeks of water, exercise, fiber and activated charcoal to start seeing negative results. Glad to know for future reference. This is the main reason why I'm not in too much of a hurry to receive my offer. As soon as I accept the offer, the screening has to take place within 48 hours. A few more days of detox will be more beneficial long term.

I guess this is it for now. I didn't think I'd do it, but I more or less got my shit together in the end.

#da chronicles #maybe she's doing rather well actually

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hillbillied · 3 years

Note

6, 32, 33? I'm curious, indulge me!

35 Questions for Fanfic Writers!

this answer comes with kisses blown to u, thank you!!

6. What element of writing do you find comes easily?

expressing a point of view; making a third person narrative come across as exclusively built around the main character’s perceptions – usually Eddie, but sometimes Andy or Sledge – even if the perceptions aren’t mine. fuck knows my two longest AndyEddie fics have loads of christian imagery that is definitely not mine

also research dives!! trying to get a sense of what’s realistically going on at the time, which can lead to the ultimate shrug of acceptance that this isn’t a history essay. but finding those convenient nuggets of detail that fit perfectly with the plot is always nice!!

32. Summarize a random fic of yours in 10 words or less.

(i’m gonna try and make this funny, particularly because this fic’s summary is less than 10 words lmao)

Church of Saint Andrew – “Eddie’s immortal but only gets laid every thirty years.”

33. Is there anything you wish your audience knew about your writing or writing process?

oh, man. i loathe my word count, specifically how high it is. i think it puts people off, including my friends; 80k of chapters is asking for a time commitment compared to a 6k one-shot. i’ve got playlists for most fics but you’ll never see em cause they’re writing-inspiration-songs, not accurate-or-fic-appropriate-songs. i check my Ao3 inbox everyday after posting cause it directly fuels my ability to sit down and go “fuck yeah, let’s churn some more of this bad boy out”. and i let things rot in my WIP documents because i refuse to publish until i’ve completed at least 2 of my ongoing fics

#basilone #i need an ask tag and now i have

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alarriefantasy · 5 years

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Fucking hell I just finished Escapade and ASDFGHJKLWYWORUXVXM sorry but it's like very nice! I'm in the wedding mood! You have some suggestions?

ISN’T IT GREAT! Jack McQueen is honestly the best character! Lmao! And here you go! Hope you find something you like! :)

Wedding AU

Waiting for Wonderful by QuickedWeen

Words: 13k

Harry is willing to wait as long as he needs to for his best friend to realise that they’re supposed to be together, but it kills him to watch Louis struggle in his relationship with Mackenzie. All Harry wants to do is be supportive, and sometimes that’s all it takes.

What do you mean he’s coming? by MediaWhore

Words: 15k

When Harry accepted to be his sister’s Maid of Honour, despite how non-traditional of a choice he was, he didn’t think writing a speech for the wedding reception would be this hard. Now, not only does he have less than two weeks left to find something moving and inspirational to say, but Gemma just confided in him that her old childhood best friend is going to be in attendance. The one who moved to LA and they haven’t seen in fifteen years because he was too busy becoming an Academy Awards winner. But hey, no pressure. It’s just Louis Fucking Tomlinson.

Harry is screwed.

to watch you fall by suspendrs

Words: 16k

Or, Harry is lonely and Louis is engaged to be married.

in the end I started thinking about the beginning by infinitelymint

Words: 21k

When Louis returned from Malaysia to attend his best mate Zayn’s wedding, he hadn’t expected their wedding planner to be Harry Styles. Over the next two weeks Louis learns that maybe staying in one place permanently isn’t so bad, as long as you have someone to stay with.

speak now or forever hold your peace by wildestdreams

Words: 23k

or, the one where Harry crashes Louis’ wedding.

If You Asked Me If I Love Him (I’d Lie) by allyasavedtheday

Words: 26k

Or the one where Harry and Louis eloped but neglected to mention it to anyone. Meanwhile Lottie is getting married and the only way for them to not steal her thunder is by pretending they’re just friends for the weekend. Featuring Harry and Louis as terrible liars who don’t know the meaning of the word platonic and some Tomlinsons and Styles’s who definitely don’t believe them.

When The Stars Come Out by BriaMaria

Words: 30k

Or the one where Louis pretends to be Gemma’s boyfriend for her horrid cousin’s wedding but fate is a nasty jerk and throws Harry in his way.

blind from this sweet, sweet craving by missandrogyny

Words: 31k

“So, I guess we’ll go?” Louis asks later, when Harry has calmed down and eaten his weight in Chinese food. He plays with this chopsticks, spearing another piece of chicken and pops it in his mouth. “I mean, I wouldn’t mind. We could make it an adventure.”

Harry observes him, watches him seated across from him on their old living room carpet, with a container of food on his lap. He’s fidgeting, avoiding meeting Harry’s gaze–he probably knows that Harry’s mad at him for ruining the one chance they had to get out of this situation. And he’s not wrong, Harry is definitely very mad. Harry wants to strangle him and castrate him and smack him upside the head.

But he’s also Harry’s best friend, and despite everything, despite all the fuck-ups and the plot twists and everything just not playing out the way it should, he’d still rather be stuck in this situation with Louis than any of the other boys. He’s got Harry’s back, and in a weird, abstract way, he knows they’ll be able to get out of this situation, together.

Harry sighs. “We’re going,” he says resignedly, his shoulders slumping.

Oh well. There are definitely worse ways to spend the weekend than pretending to be engaged to his best friend.

kiss me on the mouth (and set me free) by tempolarriefics

Words: 47k

aka the not-so fake marriage AU in which Harry and Louis get married to keep Harry from dropping out of uni (and if they discover that they’re in love along the way, well, that’s neither here nor there

Take Me Higher Than I’ve Ever Been by crimsontheory

Words: 51k

Or the one where Harry and Louis work together and Louis starts to notice Harry back. Featuring a wedding, a sassy cat, and first times.

Fool’s Gold by freetheankles

Words: 55k

Or the Arnacoeur AU in which Harry is scheduled to be married to Liam in 10 days and Harry’s mother hires Louis and his team to break them up.

That’s What You Get for Waking up in Vegas by FallingLikeThis, Rearviewdreamer

Words: 58k

When Louis Tomlinson and Harry Styles’ lives go to shit they both have the brilliant idea to escape it all and head to Las Vegas for a much needed break from the real world. It’s not until they wake up the next morning with hazy memories and cheap plastic rings on their fingers that they realize their troubles have only just begun.

Truth Be Told (I Never Was Yours) by JustForTommo

Words: 76k

or the one where Louis and Harry have a complicated past, Louis is getting married to someone that’s not Harry, and the universe has decided to have a laugh and make Harry the wedding planner.)

Perfect Storm by cherrystreet

Words: 80k

What do you do when your best friend asks you and your (now) ex to be the best men at his destination wedding? You can either tell him the truth, tell him you’re not together anymore, and deal with the consequences, or you can pretend you’re still together and roll with it, just pray you don’t spiral. Fake it ‘til you make it. You know, for the sake of the wedding.

Harry and Louis choose the latter.

Escapade by dolce_piccante

Words: 146k

In the grand scheme of things, finding a date for a wedding should be no problem for Louis Tomlinson. He’s rich. He’s handsome. He’s reasonably well behaved. But when the wedding is for his lifelong best friend (and former boyfriend), and is happening in under a month, finding a date for the ceremony and accompanying festivities becomes more of an adventure than he ever could have planned for.

#ask

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zillychu · 7 years

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I apologize for going anon on you, seeing your inbox note. I'm aware I probably won't be answered. Earlier on Twitter you talked about popularity and social media. I have a personal situation and I wanted to know your thoughts, even if it might be harsh. I know notes =/= worth. I like what I make. I was also bent on improving. Yet it hurts when I barely get recognition when I've been in a fandom for years. I don't feel like I exist. -

- Plus I’ve become a little jealous over someone with same interests yet they’re popular. I try to avoid them, but I see their stuff everywhere. Their existence reminds me of my own ‘failure’. It’s not that I want to be wildly popular. I wish more people cared. I do feel as though communities aren’t as supportive as they could be. Thank you for taking the time to read this.

I really don’t make a habit of answering anons, but if you have something that’s sincerely upsetting… well, it’s very hard for me to ignore that. We’ve all got weaknesses and sometimes it’s really super hard to talk to anyone about them.

No worries anon, I think this is something a lot of people struggle with. I don’t claim to know the answer, but I can certainly give you my two cents.

For anyone who doesn’t follow my Twitter (it’s a mess, I don’t blame you), this is the thread they’re referring to:

In addendum, it’s really easy to say things like recognition don’t matter. Numbers don’t matter. Twitter doesn’t lend well to talking at length about sensitive subjects, so I didn’t really delve into that part of it.

If I sounded like I don’t have my own problems with envy, don’t be fooled! I think even at our best, we all experience envy of others. No one is perfect, and we all crave what we lack, even if it’s not from a place of malice or ill-will.

It’s a really rough struggle, I’m not gonna lie. Things like natural advantages/disadvantages can take their toll (natural talent is a thing, friends), things like dumb luck can be downright infuriating. And a lot of times, that’s what it boils down to - because everyone works hard when they’re passionate about something. Sometimes, it’s about being in the right place at the right time, being born into an optimal environment, having the right resources, being in the right fandom, stumbling into the right group of friends, etc. Hell, the professional world is more often about networking than anything else, and that’s kind of a version of that.

Long story short, there are too many things out of your control. Which to me, is yet another reason why you shouldn’t beat yourself up over lack of popularity. Not to say that hard work and self-improvement should be thrown out the window, that’s not the point I’m trying to make; I’m just trying to say that there’s so much more that needs to be taken into consideration before you beat yourself up over low followers/likes/etc. (Not that you should ever beat yourself up for that)

So I suppose my advice is this: go out and make friends. Tailor your experience so that you no longer care about those numbers, or at least care less. Baby steps. Get more excited about sharing your work with close friends than posting on your blog and watching notes come in. Show your work to people who really matter to you - more often than not, a few kind words from them will mean more than 100,000 likes from some random strangers. If you think a community isn’t very welcoming or accepting… then look elsewhere! Other social media sites, other fandoms if you have to. No two places are the same.

Get more excited about self-discovery. Get more excited about self-improvement, learning something new. Your world is about you, your thoughts, your experiences. Not the opinion’s of random people on the internet. If you love something, if you enjoy something, they don’t matter.

It’s often a very slow process, learning to let go of envy and jealousy. I’ve only loosened my grip on it, it’s still there. I still feel petty and gross whenever I see an artist half my age and twice as talented, and I wonder, what sort of luck did they have? What silver spoon were they born with? Must be nice, I think bitterly, and then I catch myself and have a nasty taste in my mouth until I can let it go. Remind myself they’re a person too, and never wished to be better/more popular/successful to put others down.

Nobody is perfect. We all have our strengths and weaknesses, and at the end of the day, only you can make the art you make. No one else can, not even so-called master artists. They don’t have your mind, your eyes, your touch. Only you can bring your art into the world.

Life is fleeting. Enjoy yours as best you can, be happy. There’s more to life than comparing yourself to others. More to life than art, even. There’s tasty food to be eaten, new places to visit, new friends to make.

It’s little things like these that help me loosen my grip on envy’s hand.

And on a lighter note… do you even want to be popular on this hellsite. ‘Cause let me tell you a thing, back when I had, I think I peaked at around 80k (maybe 100k) followers on my old blog? The amount of harassment I got was ridiculous. Turning anon off at that point didn’t even work, I’d get just about everything under the sun on par for internet culture. Popularity means visibility, and holy shit that isn’t always a good thing. I’m 10000000% happier in my tinier fandoms, and I hope I stay here.

#long post #Anonymous #art related

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