~ on semi-hiatus until life starts making sense again ✨yay✨
« the one with violets in her lap { mostly { goes astray » ~Sappho (frag. 21, trad. Anne Carson)
everyone living in the wheel of time universe is so lucky that I am not the dragon reborn, bc if I found out this unspeakably hot unhinged campy evil lady was obsessed with me and believed we'd been together in a past life and wanted to lounge around all day in bed and only light a couple of fires while dressed in black leather or whatever every now and then... so sorry to everyone on earth I would simply fold like a deck of cards
Absolutely living for Lanfear going absolutely ham. Look at her, in her Ancient Future Past power suit, nuking peasants who by her standards are ignorant savages, incredibly bored by this whole thing, on her way to bail out her reincarnated ex-boyfriend who dumped her three millennia ago. The most highly-regarded theoretical physicist of her time, going to rescue her ex even after he dumped her so badly in his past life that she drilled a hole to Satan so he would notice her again! She loves her job but hates her co-workers. Fucking love you, Mierin. You go, girl.
Rand asked the supervillainess in love with him if she could break him out of prison and she was like "sure thing babe let me just set the entire world on fire in a path between me and you" and honestly I'm kind of in love with her at this point.
I do love how immediately Alanna just accepted that not only was Egwene hooking up with someone in the White Tower, but she was hooking up with multiple people and genuinely needed help on how to manage her performance in three ways while still satisfying herself
like you know that Egwene is definitely not the first Novice or Accepted to go to Alanna for love and sex advice and Alanna is just like "this is my job, I will counsel these girls on sex" and assumes that's what they're there for when they come ask to talk to her privately
The Dumb Puppy - aka - Serial Imprinter - aka - Won't Get A Single Break From Now Until the Final Heat Death of the Universe... Or After.
Tiny and Angry - aka - The Sleeping Berserk Button - aka - The One They're Not Gonna See Coming Until She Rips Out All Their Throats.
'If my middle name wasn't Spite it would be Fuck You' - aka - The Duck Mother to the Very Dumb Baby Ducks - aka - Will Spend at Least an Episode a Season Inside a Tragic Romance B-Plot - aka - Had The Braincell, Temper Made Her Lose It (she contains multitudes).
The Violent Sunshine Character - aka - Would Sucker Punch a God for a Homie She Met Two Hours Ago.
If Evil, Why Hot?
The word 'Nap' isn't in her vocabulary but it should be - aka - Can't Have 'One Nice Thing' for More Than Two and a Half Minutes - aka - Allergic to Feelings.
'There's a big sign that says Don't Touch The Red Button... I'm gonna touch the Red Button.' - aka - Who is This... Self Esteem You Speak Of? Never Heard of Them.
Voted Most Likely to be Adopted by a Hundred Random Strangers - aka - The Wolves Would Like Him to Get the Braincell but it Fell on the Ground and the Ground is Lava.
Doesn't Get Paid Enough for this Shit - aka - Clinging to the Last Braincell With the Tips of His Fingernails - aka - 'I can't believe I of all people am willing to have a single goddamn conversation here.'
'Fine I'll Do the Babysitting But You Owe Me So Much Booze' - aka - The Aunt That Once Forgot You In the Mall - aka - The Aunt That Gave You All the Safe Sex Tips and Traumatized You For Life - aka - The Aunt That Would Absolutely Bury a Body No Questions Asked.
when ur reading fanfic and one character was cooking and the other comes up to them and they start making out and everyones like starting to take their shirts off and the author STILL hasnt mentioned anyone turning off the stove