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edna-skiffens · 3 years

Text

The Best Medicine

Summary: You are in the hospital, but you can never sleep in hospitals. Good thing you have a very attractive night shift nurse who is willing to help out.

Word Count: 4.5K

Warnings: hospitals, light med talk, bad medical writing, fluff

A/N: Please ignore the plot holes or the fact that this isn’t the most realistic and also I know this isn’t how discharge works at the hospital.. It’s called fiction for a reason, darling. Also, I left the reason the reader is in the hospital open ended bc some of us may have medical conditions/reasons that we can attach to this, but if not I tried to keep it vague enough on purpose so that you can imagine whatever. Also if you like Nurse!Tom and have requests for him lmk bc i’m happy to write for him.

Toss and turn. Toss and turn. The routine was getting old. This was your third night in the hospital and sleep just wasn’t coming to you.

Maybe it was the medicine they had you on. Maybe it was the constant symphony of sounds and people passing in the hallway. Maybe it was because you weren’t at home in your own bed.

Maybe it was just because you were in the hospital.

You couldn’t be sure. What you were sure of is that you weren’t falling asleep anytime soon.

Feeling another presence in the room, you looked from the ceiling to the doorway where you saw Tom, one of the night shift nurses, standing cautiously.

“I didn’t wake you did I?” He asked as he eased his way inside.

“Nope.”

“So no sleep again, huh?”

“Nope.”

“Sorry darling. Let’s go ahead and get these vitals over with.” He took your blood pressure, oxygen levels, temperature and wrote it down in your chart. Putting the clipboard back on its hook at the end of the bed, he looked up at your tired face. “Okay. So now about that sleep. What do you think will help?”

“Not being in the hospital.”

He chuckled lightly while walking back towards your bedside.

“I know. You hate it here. You’ve made that very clear and I try not to take too much offense to it.” You let out a slight laugh and held back the fact that he was the best part of this whole experience. He almost made it worth it. “I’m sorry we can’t give you any sleeping medication. Do you think it’ll help if I talk to you?”

“You mean tell me bedtime stories?” You couldn’t help but tease him at the adorable suggestion, though it sent a swarm of butterflies off in your stomach.

“I was thinking more like bore you ‘till you fell asleep. But whatever works.”

“You’re the nurse. If you think it’ll help.” You both sat there smirking at each other for a moment. Something unspoken floating in the air between you two.

“Well, I need to finish my round of vitals first. I’ll come check on you when I’m done and if you’re still up we’ll see about those stories.”

“I’ll be here.”

About fifteen or twenty minutes later you heard a light tap on your door followed by “Still awake?”

“Always.”

“You up for a chat?” Tom asked as he made his way to the stool then rolled slightly closer to your bed.

“Got nothing better to do.” You teased again.

“Okay. Well you should probably lay down.”

“Oh. It’s going to be that kind of story, huh?” His laugh was so beautiful and you were happy you were the cause of it.

“No.” He corrected in between laughs “The goal is to get you to sleep. So sitting up won’t help.”

“Right. Right.”

“Well.. anything in particular you’d like to talk about?”

“Why did you choose to become a nurse?”

“Ahhh. Good question. So I actually went to an art school.” You couldn’t help the brief expression of surprise that crossed your face. “I know. Shocking. I did training specifically in dance and gymnastics and I loved it.”

“Wait, so what happened?” You asked, turning on your side to face him more comfortably.

“Well one day we were rehearsing for a show and I fell. Ruined my knee. Had to do physical therapy for months. I tried to get back into it, but it just wasn’t the same. However, through that process I learned a lot about medicine and the health side of things. It really turned me on to it. And when my Plan A got a bit messed up I thought ‘hey, this could work’. So far it’s treated me pretty well.”

You smiled at Tom, admiring his passion for his career and the determination he had to keep pushing after his accident. You enjoyed hearing him talk about it too. If you didn’t know any better you would say it was helping you relax.

“My story that boring?”

“Obviously.”

“Your sarcasm has no end.”

“Oh… goodness.. you thought that was sarcasm?”

Tom only laughed and shook his head the way he often did with you.

You may just have been his patient and he may have just been your nurse, but you both bonded. He kept you company and gave you comfort. In return, you kept him entertained during the quiet night shifts.

“I’m not going to sleep. I'm just resting my eyes. But still listening.” You told him as you nestled further into the hospital bed, trying to find a position that would make it comfortable.

“Okay, darling.” He grinned at you.

“Tell me more. What kind of-” You had to stop to yawn, “What kind of art stuff did you do?”

“Oh. Well, I was in a few musicals. I really enjoyed dancing. I did ballet ever since I was young and I love the control I have over my body. The tricks I can do with gymnastics or the turns and leaps. I mean I can’t do them to that level anymore, but I try to stay active.” He glanced up and noticed you hadn’t moved, “Are you still with me?”

“Mhm.” You barely respond.

“Okay. Well it was a performing arts school so we really were trained in many areas. We had classes in acting, singing, dancing, all of it. It was a lot of fun and I met my best friends there.”

Tom began telling stories about his time at school. Before he knew it, he lost himself and track of time. He looked back at you, quiet and still.

“Y/N?” You were finally asleep. “Goodnight, darling.” He whispered as he gently made his exit.

Because Tom worked the night shift, you never saw him when you woke in the morning. Instead, Tanya, a sweet nurse that felt like a big sister, or Linda, Nurse Ratched in the flesh, came in for morning vitals and meds.

You counted down the days until your release. Life in the hospital was pretty uneventful with the limit on visitors and limited activity. There’s only so many sitcoms one can take in a given timespan. The only thing that you really looked forward to each night was when Tom clocked in.

“Hi Y/N.”

“Hi Tom.” You would smile at each other.

“How are we feeling today?”

“Better. Ready to get out of here.”

“Well, I’m glad to hear you are feeling better and still ready to jailbreak.” He smiled while writing something down on your chart. “They should be bringing up your dinner tray soon and then I’ll bring by your evening meds after that.”

“Okay.”

“If you need me you know what to do.” He called to you before walking out the door.

You were disappointed when Shelley brought your evening meds by later. She was a nice enough nurse. She just wasn’t Tom.

You’d grown accustomed to mainly having him as your nurse during the evening shift. At first you weren’t sure if it was coincidence or on purpose, but after a few nights of staying up and talking, you grew closer to him. You saw less of the other nursing staff and more of Tom.

You tried not to build anything up in your head. You were sure everything he was doing was in his job description and a part of being a good nurse.

He would sneak you extra pudding cups from the cafeteria and bring you an extra heated blanket because you could never stay warm. If you needed a new IV, he held your hand to ease the anxiety. He kept you company and made you feel less alone in such a sterile and intimidating place. And when he noticed you had trouble sleeping he chose to sit with you to help you fall asleep. You couldn’t help the butterflies that built in your stomach.

It became a sort of routine. He checked on you during evening vitals, even if someone else was doing them, and you were always still awake. He would then come and sit with you and chat for a bit, telling you different stories until you eventually fell asleep.

Some nights when you were extra restless he would help you walk the halls.

“The doctors have to see you’re stable enough before you can be discharged. Plus, maybe it’ll tire you out.” He suggested.

He would help get your IV pole ready so you could walk with it. He helped you into your slippers and eased you out of bed after passing you your robe.

Walking the hall slowly, Tom knew he had to remain professional, yet he found a few excuses to graze his hand across your back to ‘steady you’ when you turned corners or he thought you were looking tired.

“It might take me a while to get back to my usual jogs in the park, huh?” You laughed in spite of yourself.

“You’ll get there. Baby steps.” He encouraged, as you turned around the Nurse’s Station. You missed the faces the other night shift nurses were giving you both, but Tom was sure to subtly flick them off. “So, do you like running?” He asked as you headed back towards your room.

Throughout your late nights together, he told you of his three younger brothers and his dog named Tessa. You spoke about what you would do when you were out of hospital. He talked about his friends and flatmates and the adventures they had. He told you many stories, but each morning when you woke up he was clocked out and the day shift nurses were there.

Tonight was your last night. You’re set to be discharged tomorrow and while you are ecstatic to go home, you’re going to miss one thing about this place.

“I bet you’re too excited to sleep tonight. I don’t know if my stories will even help.” Tom said as he sat down next to you.

You smiled up to him sweetly.

“What are you looking forward to the most once you get out of here?”

“Sleeping in my own bed.”

“Well that’s no surprise.” Tom laughed, a contagious sound making you giggle as well. “Isn’t there anything you’ll miss about this place?”

“Yeah.” He smiled “There’s one thing.”

“What’s that?” He asks.

“The pudding cups.”

“Ahh the pudding cups of course.” You giggled while fiddling with the IV line.

“They just don’t taste the same in the outside world.”

His smile grew wider as you giggled.

“No, but really. As much as I give this place grief and say I’m ready to get out of here - which I am,” You gave him a pointed look to which he held his hands up in mock surrender, fully believing you, “it hasn’t been too terribly awful I guess.”

“Oh, well, I’m glad we could make your stay not too terribly awful.. I guess.” He teased. “Do you have anything exciting to look forward to once you’re a free woman?”

“Nothing huge planned, really. The doctors did say to take it easy.”

“That’d be wise.”

“Yeah. I’ll just lay low for a while. My sister said she may try to come visit me though so that would be nice.”

“Oh that would be nice. She’s your older sister right?”

“Right. She moved away last year to be closer to her boyfriend.”

“Ah. Do you like him?”

“Sorry?”

“This boyfriend. Do you like him?”

“He’s alright, I suppose. He makes her happy.” Tom nodded along.

“And do you have a boyfriend that makes you happy?”

“N-No. No I don’t. Not at the moment.” You began fiddling with the IV cord again.

“No boyfriend or not a boyfriend that makes you happy?” He asked.

“Neither.”

“Well that’s a shame.” If the heart monitor was connected you would’ve been screwed. “I just mean someone needs to look after you once you get home. I hope this sister comes through for a visit. You’ve got to take it easy.”

“Oh I’ll be fine.”

“I’m sure you will be.” He smiled.

“How has your shift been tonight? Busy?” You asked, fighting back a yawn.

“A bit busier than usual. There was a slight emergency earlier which is why Shelley handed out meds tonight. Sorry I didn’t come around.”

“It’s alright. I know you have other patients.”

“Yeah, but none like you.” You were sure he said that to all of his patients. After all, you’ve heard similar lines ever since you went to the pediatrician as a child. But it still gave you butterflies.

“Are you getting sleepy?”

“A little. But it’s okay.” He gave you a pointed look but continued to talk anyway. “It’s the last night. One final request for storytime. Make it a good one.”

You thought for a moment before asking your question.

“Do you ever wish that life turned out differently? That you never had your accident and you could’ve followed your dreams to be a dancer?” You asked while turning on your side and getting more comfortable.

“Sometimes. At least, I used to. But I think I’ve accepted it now. And I really can’t see myself doing anything but this.” You nodded taking in his answer “I look at it this way. If it wasn’t for my injury then I never would’ve changed my career path and found my love for medicine. I never would have made so many of the friends I’ve made or the memories I’ve made. I never would have met you.” He finishes with a sweet smile.

“That’s a very positive way of looking at it.” You told him. “Be honest, are you a therapist during the day?” He laughed out loud.

“No. I’m not. I guess I’m a big believer in ‘everything happens for a reason’.” You nodded while covering a yawn.

“So I’ve been curious to ask you,” He began, “Do you usually have this much trouble sleeping? Because you can get help for that you know?” You smiled at him.

“What? I thought a night nurse talking to you was the cure?” Tom smirked and shook his head. “I’m kidding. No, I normally don’t. It’s just the stiff sheets and hospital sounds I think.”

“Darn hospital.” He rolled his eyes and joked. “So this time tomorrow you’ll be sound asleep in your own bed then?”

You knew it was meant to be a happy statement, but you were a little sad at the thought of not having any more late night chats with Tom.

“Yes. Thank God.” You forced a smile.

You felt another yawn coming and tried to hold it back. It was already past the usual time that you fell asleep.

Tom could tell you were exhausted so he launched into a story from nursing school, hoping to lull you to sleep.

You yawned your way through listening, trying to soak up every last moment with Tom. In the morning he wouldn’t be here. You’d leave and likely never see him again.

When he finished, your eyes were half open and he wondered how you were still awake. Or maybe why.

“Why are you fighting it? The point is to sleep. Give in.” He told you gently after another yawn.

You looked up at him, half asleep and rubbing your eyes, not finding the confidence to tell him the true reason you were trying to stay awake.

“I’m happy right now.”

He smiled down at you.

“I am too. But you need your sleep, darling.” You weren’t sure what to say and you didn’t have much energy left in you anyway. “How about this. I’ve probably been in here too long as it is. Let me go check in at the Nurse’s Station and then I’ll come back and check on you soon and see if you’re still awake okay?”

The thought that he was leaving gave you a sad feeling in your stomach. You tried to remind yourself that he was just your nurse. Nothing more.

“Okay.” You smiled at him, sleepily, while settling further into the bed.

He stood up and instead of walking towards the door he walked closer to you. He grabbed the thin, white hospital blanket and pulled it closer around your shoulders.

“Goodnight, Y/N.” He whispered before he walked to the door.

“Tom?” You called out just before he opened it. He turned around with an expectant look, “Thanks for everything.”

Even though the room was dim you could see his smile.

“You’re welcome, Y/N. Get some sleep.”

You don’t remember much after that. You don’t know if Tom came back to check on you. You just remember falling asleep with a smile on your face.

When you woke up the following morning it felt like any other morning in the hospital.

The hallways were much louder. Beeps, chatter, and phones were constant. The lights were brighter.

But you were quickly reminded that it wasn’t any other morning. You were going home today.

The door creaked open and Tanya, one of your regular daytime nurses, poked her head in.

“Oh good you’re up.” She made her way inside and over to the gloves. “How’d you sleep?”

“Pretty good. Thanks.” She gave you a smile, something hidden behind it.

“I’m sure.” She said quietly to herself. You gave her a questioning look. “Oh I just mean I’m sure you’re excited to get out of here.”

You nodded as she took your vitals one last time.

“Everything looks good. What do you say about getting this IV out?”

“I say that sounds amazing.”

She took it out and bandaged up your arm while informing you of how the morning would go.

“Dr. McCoy is making rounds now then he’ll be by soon to go over your discharge. You can get dressed whenever you’re ready. If you need help, buzz me. You’ll still have a breakfast tray come, but you don’t have to eat it.” She gave you a wink while taking off her gloves.

“Thanks Tanya.”

“Of course, sweetie. And in case I don’t see you before you go, you’ve been a wonderful patient. Take care of yourself.” You smiled at her as she left you to change into some leggings and a sweatshirt.

You were packing your remaining things into your bag when your doctor walked in.

“Y/N! How are we doing today?”

“We’re doing great because we’re going home.” You smiled while taking a seat to rest for a few minutes.

“I know you’re excited.” He laughed before explaining the conditions of your discharge. You had medicines to take, a follow up appointment, and strict instructions to rest for the next few weeks. After signing some forms he left you with a stack of papers. “Is someone coming to pick you up?”

“Yeah my neighbor should be here within an hour.”

“Sounds good. Don’t hesitate to call us or come back in if you have any trouble or questions.”

“Will do. Thanks.”

A few minutes after he left a nurse brought in your breakfast tray. There wasn’t much of a point for it but since your discharge wasn’t technically until 10:30 am you were still a patient during breakfast.

You took the pudding cup that you requested with every meal off the tray before sliding it away. Smiling to yourself, you tucked it away in your bag. All you had left to do was wait for 10:30.

Tanya came in to check on you again and told you to buzz the Nurse’s Station when you knew your ride was here. At 10:27 you had a text from your neighbor that they were out front in the pickup zone. So you hit the call button.

“Yes?” Linda, the scariest dayshift nurse, answered.

“Um hi. Tanya told me to buzz in when my ride was here so I could go down.”

“Okay we’ll be right in.”

Not even a minute later you heard your door open. Expecting to see Tanya or maybe even Linda you looked up.

An audible gasp left your lips when Tom stood in your doorway with a wheelchair.

“I hear someone needs a ride?” He smiled as he made his way closer to the bed.

“Tom. What are you still doing here?”

“I pulled a double.” You wanted to ask why, but decided against it. You were still in a little bit of shock from seeing him again. “If you’d rather I can go get Linda to walk you down?” He pointed back towards your door.

“No! No.. I’m just surprised s’all.”

“Well come on. I thought you’d be running out of this place once the clock hit 10:30.” Glancing up you saw it was now 10:34. Your neighbor is probably tired of waiting already.

You grabbed your discharge papers and reached for your bag when you heard, “I got it.” Smiling at him, you sat down in the wheelchair. Tom placed the bag around his shoulder and kicked the brakes off the chair. “Ready?” You nodded up at him.

He rolled you out of the room that felt so small for a final time. You passed the Nurse’s Station and waved bye to the staff. He turned by the elevators and when you looked up at him in question, he read your mind. Looked down at you he said, “We’re taking the staff elevators.”

When you made it there he hit the button, turning you around and backing you in once the doors opened. He hit the button for the Lobby and leaned up against the wall of the elevator, briefly glancing at you, as you rode down together.

“Well you made it. You’re a free woman.” He smiled shyly.

“Yippee.” He met your eyes for a moment before looking back to the floor. The dynamics felt different. It wasn’t like your late night talks together.

“Listen, Y/N.” Tom began as he stood up from the wall and faced you. He was about to continue when the elevator ding cut him off, signaling you had reached your destination.

Maybe that was what was different. You had reached your destination.

You had a fun time talking with Tom and entertaining each other when you were both up late at night. He was fun to get to know and you enjoyed having someone care for you. He was easy to banter with and certainly easy on the eyes. But your time at the hospital was up. You knew it would be eventually. You wanted it to be.

Tom was a nurse. He was just doing his job. He was helping take care of you. He was being nice. He was trying to make your stay more comfortable. There was nothing to read into.

Your time being his patient was up and your time with him was up.

You tried to remain realistic, but the sadness still crept up as he rolled you closer to the door.

Once outside, you saw your neighbor exit the car and wave you over. Tom steered in the direction and slowed before rolling to a stop and hitting the brake locks on the wheels.

“Hi, I’m Taylor.”

“Tom.” They shook hands as Tom passed off your bag for Taylor to put in the backseat.

“I’m sorry for the circumstances, but it really has been a pleasure having you as a patient and getting to know you, Y/N.” Tom admitted as he walked around to face you. He grabbed the papers from your lap. “Take care of yourself, okay?” You had shared many smiles with Tom, but this one felt sadder.

“I will. Thank you for everything, Tom. I mean it.” You reached up and squeezed his hand. He gave you a light squeeze back while smiling down at you. Taylor returned from the backseat of the car and Tom turned to them.

“These are her important papers about follow up appointments, medications, what to do at home, all of that so please make sure she doesn’t lose any of them.” He emphasized the point.

“Got it. Thanks.” Taylor held onto the stack while Tom turned back to you.

“If I can’t handle a few papers on my own, then maybe I shouldn’t be going home yet, Tom.” You laughed.

“I know, I just wanted to make sure they made it home with you.” He walked closer. “You ready to get in?”

“Yeah.” You nodded. He helped you up, supporting you just as a precaution. Once seated, you took a moment to catch your breath as you pulled the seatbelt down. He met your hand, taking it from you to buckle you in.

“You good?”

You nodded with a smile, “Just a little tired. No biggie.”

He looked you over before returning your smile, though his didn’t quite reach his eyes, “If you need us, call us. Otherwise go home and rest.”

This was it. This was goodbye.

“Thanks, Tom.”

“Goodbye, Y/N.”

He shut the door. He walked back to the wheelchair, released the brake locks and headed inside. He looked back only when your car was driving away.

“Here’s those papers that are so important.” Taylor handed you the stack after they got in.

“Thanks.”

“So how are you feeling?”

“Better. Thanks.” You felt them looking at you as they joined traffic.

“You sure? You sound like you feel awful.”

You try to remind yourself to forget the sweet and attractive nurse and start moving forward.

“Yeah. Yeah I’m okay.” You decide to distract yourself by reading through your discharge paperwork, when something caught your eye. On top was a sticky note with the hospital’s letterhead. You were sure it wasn’t there before. Looking closer it read,

Y/N,

In case you need someone to talk to when you can’t sleep.

555-5555

P. S. I have a connection to some pretty good pudding cups too.

Tom

The smile that grew on your face was undeniable. All the feelings you suppressed came flooding in. He wasn’t just being nice. He actually liked you.

One thing you knew for sure was that even though you would be in your own bed tonight, you still would be up, talking to a very special nurse.

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leviiattacks · 3 years

Note

heyyy there, saw your requests are open. and i'm wondering maybe you could do a timeskip where everything is done and levi finally opened his tea shop. then there he met reader, and he treats them differently from other customers. thank you, hope you're having a good day.

author note :: this was kinda rushed as is most of what i post. the reader is a writer just bc i thought it would be cute and also ISTG. i wrote this entire thing thinking leviolas was such a cool name for a tea shop then googled it and saw it’s also the name of a spider so... ++ btw i have not yet double checked or proofread this because i wrote it at 2am but yeah it’s definitely not great :-) word count :: 2.4k??? somehow???

you’re sweet like honey when you first order from leviolas. you’re the same when you ask the owner for extra napkins and you remain exactly the same when you return with the intention to stick around for a writing session with a black tea by your side

something about you is attractive. that’s what levi thinks of you when you first walk into leviolas

you’re just incredibly wholesome poking your head around looking at all of the handmade pastries and confectioneries in admiration

you think the homely decor is cute and reminiscent of cottages in the countryside, the view outside the windows is beautiful and the scent of coffee alongside tea is heavenly

the pastries are beautiful and you find yourself eyeing the macrons pretty frequently. just EVERYTHING about leviolas is cute :-(

but one particular thing is especially adorable to you

and that would be the owner

when you hear his name for the first time you’re a little shocked

levi ackerman to be specific captain levi ackerman, the high ranking official who aided in paradis’ independence and freed the nation from the grip of titans

you read about him a year back in a paper or two and vividly recall the valiant title he held as humanity’s strongest soldier

he still holds the title that’s for sure but now he happens to own a tea shop

it’s slightly unusual it’s not every day you see a soldier retire and live such a plain life but you suppose the simplicity makes levi happy

honestly, if you had been through hell and back like him you too would wish to spend the rest of your days in the company of tea leaves and sweet cakes

today is a day like any other you’re sat by one of the windows and contemplating sitting in the outside seating area

the sun is shining and lands uncomfortably on your face at this angle and you may as well make your way outside

but before you can a shadow looms over you and a broad chest leans over to cover the window with dainty curtains

“you looked bothered by the light.”

oh god.

it’s him.

he’s standing there looking at you with an unreadable expression and all you can do is open and close your mouth not knowing what to say

humanity’s strongest soldier

levi ackerman

also known as the really really really attractive cafe owner you’ve been crushing on for the last few months now

seeing him up close is much more different to looking at him from the comfort of your seat or whilst you order

he’s normally got his back turned whilst collecting orders or another worker collects them as he prepares the beverages

that’s why the unexpected interaction has you nervous

you can always tell when he’s made your drink because he honestly has a way with tea leaves and you kinda want to gush about how much you enjoy it

but, no, no, no.

you’re panicking just looking at him

soft black strands of hair stick to his forehead, his undercut is oddly satisfying to stare at and he smells of pine trees which again is refreshing

“ah hahaha thank you for blocking the sun out!!”

why the fuck did you ha ha????

this is so awkward.

putting on your best front you beam up at him hoping your toothy smile doesn’t look stupid

then again it probably does because who the hell has a good toothy smile

nobody.......

levi’s gaze lingers on you but if he has anything else he wants to say he doesn’t make it known

instead he firmly nods and turns away

you’ve messed up,,

only!!! you manage to mess up even more....?

without thinking your hand latches onto the back of his blue button up and your face burns up realizing what it is you’ve done when he stiffens to a stop

as quick as your hand has grabbed onto his shirt it lets go and you awkwardly laugh again

hahahahaha

“i’m sorry i didn’t mean to hold onto you so hard i was just...wondering if you could let me in on your secret.”

the random sentence is one you’ve made off the top of your head because you don’t have any real reason for holding onto him

but thankfully for you the saccharine of your voice is enough to sway levi

when he turns to see you with the same smile eagerly awaiting his answer something sparks in him

his chest feels a little funny but he ignores it

“secret?” he questions

“yeah!! your tea!! you’re really good at making it and aaaahhhh” you sigh contently thinking back on it.

“i remember when i ordered rose tea one time. you made it beautifully and the taste was infused so delicately it was incredibly soothing.”

hearing you ramble passionately about what he loves to do makes his chest feel funny again

he doesn’t know what the hell is going on exactly

but the only way he can explain it is his heart somersaulting and flipping despite him not wanting it to

despite that, it’s quite enjoyable

it’s probably got something to do with your kindhearted demeanor or the way you always manage to give him a smile when you waltz in

but levi finds himself fighting to touch you more and more as the days pass

your collar is always haphazardly done and he wants to lean in and fix it

sometimes you’ll have an eyelash on your face and he wants to lean in to swipe it away with his thumb

occasionally he stares at your hair and wants to sort it out. half the time it’s all over the place from the wind

he wants to lean in and smooth it out.

all he wants to do is LEAN IN but he sees no valid reason to

he’s lucky he’s always able to catch himself before his thumb reaches your cheek (you’re very oblivious and never notice how close he really gets)

ever since your first encounter at leviolas a few months back he’s been dragged into your world of books and lively stories

it doesn’t take you long to break out of your shell and you’re always telling levi something new

he doesn’t speak as much as you but when you coax out a story or two out of him he’s always earnest

you’ve learnt a lot through the conversations

you’ve learnt about his lost comrades, the horrible things he had to see on the battlefield, how he hopes he’ll live happy with what he has left

there are certain conversation topics he skips entirely and you respect his boundaries

you and levi are sat by a window and a comfortable silence floats between you two

it’s been four months

four months since you asked what his secret was

come to think of it he never told you what it was

he’s intently staring at you as you drink the lemon tea he’s just made you and his stare is a little too intense

feeling nervous you pick up your cup hoping for something to occupy yourself

recently the butterflies in your stomach have been increasing in number but you know it’s wrong to fancy levi

you don’t know why you think that but it’s the fact that you’re sure you’re not his type

he probably likes organised people, dependable people, funny people

not you.

you’re just an irksome author who spends your days writing in his shop

honestly he finds you annoying he has to. you’re always hanging around here

however, you do remember the one day you did choose to write in the park he thought you had died or something. that made you feel a little sad because he can’t really help but automatically worry if his routine is broken and you happen to have accidentally become part of his schedule

no, like levi’s literally said he has your name in his planner and whenever he thinks of a new thing to make you he’ll write it down with your name next to it

but still,, you’re convinced he has to find you annoying

there’s no reason for thinking it but you DEFINITELY think it’s correct

absentmindedly you haven’t even noticed levi still staring at you

“y/n?”

looking up at levi he’s clearly worried about something

humming in response telling him to continue he does

“i like someone.”

oh.

“...i’m not sure they’d return my feelings, that’s why i mentioned it.”

you smile at him warmly and you feel your heart sink, obviously he has to like someone. it’s probably someone in the corps, someone strong, someone capable. you’re not any of those things.

“well, you need not worry. if a man as good as you fancied me i’d be over the moon. i’m sure they would too!”

keep optimistic, don’t let him see you upset.

levi’s cheeks grow bright red and he bashfully tries to hide his embarrassment by covering his face with his hands

you laugh when he doesn’t budge and stays in the same position

“c’mon levi, confess they’ll accept you have nothing to fear.” you coo persuasively

finally letting up after a few seconds he lets his arms drop to his sides.

“would you date me?”

the question takes you aback and you stare at him startled

soon realizing the idiocy laced in the inquiry he quickly retracts his statement

“nevermind, that was stupid.”

ignoring him you still want to answer

“uh well, i would. i have thought about it on occasion.”

he’s blinking rapidly trying to process what you’ve just admitted.

“you’ve thought about...?”

“dating you. yes i have.”

“and why the hell would you do that?” you can’t tell if he’s mad at you

“you’re capable, respectful. you’re considerate and quiet. i mean it you’re an amazing man really. also your tea!! imagine getting to drink it every day.”

you really have to add in the part about his tea because you know he loves it when you compliment it :-)

“ok, you drink my tea every day already.”

his short uninterested response stings and the dam of regret bursts open

you shouldn’t have said all of that.

you and levi sit in an awkward silence for what feels like an eternity. you don’t dare look at him and your course of action is too drink your tea as quick as possible before dismissing yourself.

but before you can set your plan in motion levi breaks the ice.

“let’s date.”

you freeze and your eyes grow to the size of saucers

what did he just say???

he has to be losing his mind

“but levi what about the person you like?”

his eyebrow cocks upwards and an amused expression stretches across his face.

“i was talking about you.” he confesses boldly

this is a fever dream, nope, nope nope. you can not comprehend that this is your reality.

pinching your arm you hiss a little when you feel the pain

okay so, you’re definitely not dreaming...

“i, you, me. you...you like me?” the sentence is a jumble of words but you manage to sputter out something that makes sense

“yes. i like you.”

he’s being so blunt you can’t tell if he’s being serious but when you remind yourself that this is levi you relax, a blunt straightforward confession is meaningful coming from him

BUT THAT’S BESIDES THE POINT

HELLO???? HE LIKES YOU BACK?%^%^”*

you get all blushy and flustered and you let out another one of your awkward hahahahaha’s but it’s a good hahahahaha

cautiously testing the waters he grabs your hand from across the table intertwining his fingers with yours

the gesture is adorable. the buzzing sensation that travels through your laced fingers makes you giggle to yourself giddily

“leviolas suddenly a matchmaking agency now? ;-)” your joke is dry and unfunny and levi rolls his eyes at it

“you’re not funny.”

“but you still like me.” you tease

“yes. i still like you.” he admits

a few days have passed since then

you and levi have been the talk of the town

humanity’s strongest soldier finally found his flame???

the chatter and rumors spread like wildfire, both you and levi aren’t fans of being in the spotlight but nothing negative has been said so there’s no complaints so far

levi places a cup of tea in front of you, it’s a herbal kind because you’ve been complaining about a headache

today you’re explaining why you dislike the plot of beauty and the beast and how there’s so much wrong with it. from the weirdly toxic relationship to the power imbalance. levi stands listening attentively whilst waiting for you to take a sip of the tea

just as you’ve paused to take a large breathe and prepare yourself to continue explaining how unbearable that book is levi uses it as his chance to say what he’s been wanting to

“drink up before it’s ice cold.”

following his instructions you interrupt yourself and take a gulp of the herbal tea

your eyes glimmer in approval. it tastes of strawberries and you’re delighted already feeling your mood slightly raise in response

“it’s GREAT?? what did you put in it?? it doesn’t even taste medicinal.” once again, you’re fawning over his tea

“so levi ackerman, what really is the secret to all these perfect cups of tea?”

and without a seconds hesitation he responds.

“i was making the tea for you. that’s the secret.”

it takes a while for the gravity of his words to sink it but when the meaning does you cup his face in your palms and peck him everywhere. he whines a little but you can tell he enjoys the attention

you find that you’re more than happy you’ve found a home in levi and his shop

and levi’s more than happy he’s found a home in you and your books

:-)

#leviiattacks #aot #attack on titan #levi x reader #levi x y/n #snk #aot fanfiction #attack on titan levi #levi ackerman #levi #shingeki no kyoujin #shingeki no kyoujin levi #levi drabbles #attack on titan x reader #levi fanfiction #levi headcanons #tea shop levi #levi scenario #levi fluff

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theres-an-impulstor-among-us · 3 years

Note

Hello! Your answer to that last request absolutely ruined me (in the best way possible)

If you'd like to leave it completely ambiguous that's fine, but I was wondering about an Impulse POV of what goes through his mind when he wakes up and sees Tango? Depending on whether the game ends immediately after that, whether him and Brody have to do something extra to end the game, or if you want to go full bad ending and have the game carry on in that broken state forever.... It could be very different each way, but I'd certainly love to read that aftermath if you would enjoy writing it (because obviously I'm not in enough pain already :D /s)

this is a sequel to this one :D very glad that two of my favourite requesters liked it enough to ask for a follow up!

I also love my Patented Vaunna Uncertain Endings (as Shade put it lol) bc it leads to at least one person yelling at me and at least one follow-up request demanding to know what happens (/pos ofc i love all you guys’ requests)

also yes i’m so sorry Raven i only just realised i wasnt following you asdfghjkl i thought i already was

…

Impulse opens his eyes. Letting out a groan, he sluggishly pushes himself into a sitting position. His head feels like it’s being clamped in a vice, but he has enough wits to register the scene in front of him.

Tango is lying in a pool of blood just a foot away from him, arm outstretched towards him as if trying to reach him.

He can’t stop staring at his best friend’s body. Tango is clearly dead, and Impulse remembers causing it. So why hasn’t the game ended? It should have ended when Brody killed Endless, but it didn’t. Now the only two people left on the ship are the two imposters. There’s literally nothing else that can be done to end the game, except…

Impulse glances down at Tango’s tablet, then at the upload panel. At this point, he’ll do anything to end this game, even if it means losing.

So he picks up Tango’s tablet, ignoring the almost painful tingle shooting through his hand. The game’s code is uncomfortable with him picking up a crewmate’s tablet. And even though he can’t see the screen, he knows what the last task is. So he hopes that the game will let him complete it. There shouldn’t be any protocols in place to stop this; after all, when would an imposter EVER want to do a crewmate’s task?

“What are you-?” comes Brody’s voice suddenly.

Impulse turns to find Brody freezing at the sight of Tango’s body.

“We’re the only two left,” Impulse confirms. “We gotta finish the last task, even if it means we lose. Otherwise we might be trapped here forever.”

Brody slowly nods. He and Impulse are in an odd state; the imposter bloodlust is slowly starting to wear off, leaving him with an uncomfortable mixture of satisfaction and horror at the sight of his old friend’s dead body.

“I think I might throw up,” he groans, turning away and doubling over, hands pressed to his stomach.

Impulse just keeps going with the task, his heart starting to beat faster. He hopes this will work. If it doesn’t…

...he can’t think about that.

As the upload finishes, he squeezes his eyes shut and holds his breath.

He feels something shift around him…

…and when he opens his eyes, he finds himself back in the lobby.

But only one other person is there with him.

Impulse and Brody slowly look around the room, registering their situation, before simultaneously meeting each other’s gaze.

“This is really bad,” says Brody after a moment, stating aloud what they’re both thinking.

Impulse nods, trying and failing to suppress the feeling of cold terror rapidly growing in his stomach. “Y-Yeah. Where are our friends and why aren’t they here?”

Recalling Etho teaching him how to access the code, Brody pulls up the admin screen. Impulse anxiously watches him tap away at it.

“Is it possible to go back to that exact game?” he asks hesitantly.

“I think so. Gimme a sec.”

After a tense few minutes, an open doorway appears in the side of the lobby. Through it, Impulse can see the Skeld cafeteria.

“I’ve altered your code slightly so you should be able to see and hear ghosts,” Brody says. “Go see if you can find out where our friends are. I’ll stay here and make sure you don’t get trapped there.”

Impulse takes a deep breath. “Okay.”

“Good luck, my friend.”

“I’m gonna need it.”

Impulse carefully steps through the door, half expecting it to vanish behind him. But to his relief, it doesn’t.

Where the heck is he supposed to start?

After a moment, Impulse goes into admin. But the admin table tells him nothing except his own location. Next, he rushes over to security. Again, however, the cameras yield nothing useful.

Time for Plan C.

“SKIIIIIIIIIZZ!” Impulse shrieks, running madly through the hallways. “TANGOOOO! ETHOOOOOOOOOO!”

For a worrying minute or so, there’s no replies at all.

Then…

“Impulse!”

He skids to a halt in the hallway between weapons and shields, his head automatically snapping round to face the direction he heard the voice yell his name from.

That’s when he sees two ghosts flying towards him from navigation. “Tango! Etho!”

“Impulse, you can see us?!” yelps Tango. “And hear us?!”

Impulse nods. “Yeah! Oh my gosh, a-are you two okay? I’m so sorry!”

“This isn’t your fault, Impulse,” Etho says firmly. “You were just playing the game. And don’t worry, I’ve managed to save everyone else.”

“What?” Impulse’s heart skips a beat. “How?”

“I was able to access their code and send them back to their respective servers. Skizzle, Joker, Astro, Mrs Tango, Endless, and Evil are all safe.”

“Oh, thank God,” breathes Impulse. “What about you two?”

“I couldn’t manage to access Hermitcraft’s code,” Etho responds. “So I couldn’t send us back there. I think it’s something to do with the firewalls X put up a few years ago.”

“Damnit. What’s going on, Etho? Why’re there so many glitches?”

“I don’t know. But if we get out of this alive, we should definitely give this game a break for a while until it’s fixed.”

“I’ll second that,” Tango mutters. “But wait, how did you get here?”

“Brody managed to open a door here from the lobby. Oh, wait! Maybe you can come through it with me!”

He takes the ghosts to the cafeteria, where the doorway to the lobby is still shimmering.

“Brody, I found Tango and Etho,” Impulse reports to his friend. “Everyone else is safe. Can they come through the doorway?”

Brody hesitates. “They should be able to. Come through first, quickly.”

Impulse goes through the door again and turns back to face his friends.

“Will it be safe for us to come through in ghost form?” Tango asks nervously.

“Ah…” Brody grimaces. “It should be fine.”

Tango is not encouraged by his friend’s tone. “Are you sure?”

“I’m not,” admits Brody. “The likelihood that the game will either glitch or not let you through and delete you forever is worryingly high, but… I think this is the only way. If we don’t give it a go, you’ll be stuck in this weird purgatory forever.”

Tango shoots a glance at Etho, who’s gazing at the doorway anxiously, and makes a quick decision. “I’ll try it first. Then you’ll know if it’s safe for Etho or not.”

“What?” Etho glances sharply at him. “Are you sure?”

“Yeah. 100%. I’m terrified outta my mind right now, but there’s no way I’m watching you go through that thing and disappear forever. No way in hell.”

Not daring to meet Etho’s eyes, Tango turns to the doorway and takes a deep breath.

“Tango, wait.”

Tango pauses and turns back to his friend. “Yeah?”

After a moment, Etho grabs him in a hug. “If we never see each other again, I want you to know that I’ve cherished every second with you and I’m honoured to call you my friend.”

Tango blinks, a lump rising in his throat. “D-Don’t. You’re gonna make me cry.” But he hugs his friend back. “I love you, buddy.”

Finally, he releases Etho and turns to look at Impulse through the doorway. Their gazes meet and Tango sees his own fear reflected in Impulse’s eyes.

“See you on the other side,” he says, his voice cracking audibly. “One way or another.”

With that, he steps through the doorway.

#friday night stabby #tangotek #impulsesv #brodyman #etho #vaunna’s requests

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sagemusesoutloud · 3 years

Text

Anti-Romantic, Part 1

(credit to the original owner of the image)

Character | Jaehyun x reader Genre | nonidol!au, Mutual Pining, Slowburn, Fluff WordCount | 3.6 K Author'sNote | lmaoooo the fact that I intended this to be a oneshot type of thing oops. Wellllll, I tried. Most likely to be a two part series, but we'll see.

This is part of a series I intend to call "If Songs were Fics" and this particular one was loosely inspired by TXT's Anti-Romantic bc I'm obsessed. I hope you enjoy reading as much I enjoyed writing it!

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4

I don't know who loves me

And I don't care, It's a waste anyways

A romantic feeling, Kinda scares me

“Any plans for you birthday next week?”

Jaehyun shakes his head at you, “no, not yet, don’t you have that date with that barista?”

“I’m not sure, he’s been acting weird over text lately. Might not be worth it,” you shrug your shoulders. “Besides, it’s your birthday! You only get one of those a year, we should plan something.”

You were on your way to the gym, a ritual you and Jaehyun had ever since you both found out you worked for the same company. You had been childhood friends, but ended up losing touch since you went to separate universities.

It was a nice surprise to see a friendly face on the first day of orientation and throughout the duration of your training for the next six weeks. Although you were both from different departments, you enjoyed taking your lunch breaks together and sharing small gossip about your old class-mates.

“ugh, don’t remind me,” he let’s out a long sigh, “every year, it seems like my family won’t stop pestering me about starting a family.”

“What’s so wrong about that?”

“Nothing, just not for me. Or at least not yet. I don’t think I’m the type to settle down,” he shrugs again as if it were no big deal.

You gasp, “how could you say that? I’ve seen your insta account. It’s got your cousin’s kids all over it!” You stop to take a good look at him as he holds the door of the gym open for you. “Back in school too, you used to tutor those elementary kids for volunteering hours. Even when you didn’t need them. You’ve always liked kids.”

“That’s different…”

“Right. Totally different things. Got it,” you roll your eyes. This wasn’t the first time he mentioned not wanting to settle down. At first, you had thought it was because he liked ‘keeping his options open’ like back in high-school. Or, not that you knew for sure, but if the rumors were true then it meant he slept his way around. Apparently, he never slept with someone twice and despite the cold shoulder the other party would get, all you had ever heard were praises. Not that you paid that much attention or anything.

You and Jaehyun had the same circle of friends, but despite that, he had never made any advances towards you. You’d be lying if that didn’t bother you at least once or twice. You just assumed that he didn’t want to make the friendship awkward or mess with the friend dynamics of your group. Which was why your crush on him in junior high ended as soon as you got to high-school.

You ended up going on dates with other people, but nothing that kept your interest. Nothing that compared to how you felt around him. Not that he seemed to think the same, so you tried your best to stay the good friend you always have been. You didn’t want to push something he clearly didn’t want; not that it didn’t hurt any less. Throughout the years it’s become bearable, at least. Almost like a painful habit.

You check in and head to the locker rooms to change. His nonchalance about the subject had always puzzled you. You’d seen first hand how all the female coworkers seemed to sway their hips as they walked by him, how some would pop a blouse button more than usual when around him, and you swore no one else was getting that much help throughout training more than him. He was handsome and a gentleman, that much was painfully obvious.

You meet him outside by the water fountain, “ready for warm-up?” he guides your way to the treadmills.

“When’s the last time you dated?”

You would have laughed if you weren’t so shocked to see him trip from the corner of your eye. “why the sudden curiosity?” He finally responds.

“Not sudden, I’d always wondered.” You defended. “You’re good looking and you’re very…I mean, you live on your own and have your own car. You have good relations with your family AND you’re good with kids. So, what is it?” You hadn’t realized how troubling you thought it all was. But now that you started digging you couldn’t stop.

“I just—” you pause, “it doesn’t make sense.”

You hear him chuckle, “you might wanna slow down before you pull something.” You look down and realize that your pace had gone from a relaxed jog to a borderline run during your rant. Maybe this wasn’t the best time to psychoanalyze your only friend in the city.

“Well, I just don’t know how to let people in. It’s just that.” He finally responds. “I love kids, but I don’t know or think I’d be a good partner.” He slows down before stopping, ending the conversation. He waves you off with an easy smile as you stay running.

Huh, maybe you pushed him too far. Your eyes can’t help but follow him around the gym.

Sweet and bitter chocolate, The taste at the end is always the same

Like the saddest movies, Only tears in my eyes

Your hands were sweaty the entire morning, anticipating your lunch time. It was his birthday today, and while you hadn’t made any concrete plans you ended up agreeing to go over to his place after work. Your gym bag was ready with snacks and comfy clothes to stay over. You remembered him saying he was excited to watch that new Marvel movie that had recently come out so you had bought it online to stream it at his place as a surprise. But what had you nervous was the small heart shaped box sitting in your purse. You didn’t know what possessed you to buy it but you had immediately thought of Jae when you passed by it at the mall. You remember vaguely mentioning that it was a special occasion to the sales lady (as in, his birthday), but she must have thought it was your significant other rather than friend because she changed the box to the red velvet shaped one while giving you a wink. In her defense, you could have protested but…why didn’t you?

You hear a knock on your door, “hey little miss sunshine.” Ah, Nakamoto, this couldn’t be good news. He was only sickly sweet to you when he needed a favor.

“What do you want?” you deadpan. He only laughs as he makes himself comfortable in your office. “Well, nothing in particular. Can’t stop by and see how you’re doing?” he feigns hurt.

“Right—the last time you ‘came by’ you left me working over-time through the weekend,” You sigh, “so what is it this time? Missed meeting? Late proposal?” To be fair, your supervisor WAS overworked sometimes. And since you were the only worker under him, it was normal for him to sometimes share some of the load with you.

He smiles at you, “nope. Just have a proposal for you. I know you’ve been working hard these past few months and I’ve been really impressed by your work ethic.” He stands and moves closer to your desk, “And I thought some sort of reward was in order, as well as celebration.” Ok, now you’re confused. You were ok with the reward part, it usually came in the form of a gift card to your favorite coffee shop, but celebration?

“Why would we celebrate? Did I miss something?”

“Not yet, but I did recommend you to the partner position with me. And I wanted to be the first to tell you that the boss approved it earlier today. So, what do ya say? Dinner on me?” he extends his hand out to you and wiggles his eyebrows playfully.

Oh.

Shit! You were hoping this would happen eventually, moving up from the entry-level position you had. But you had never thought it would be this fast. “Oh my gosh, are you serious?” You give him your hand and he shakes it in mock salute.

“Of course, some people will come by to move your computer to the office next to mine. You start Monday!” he winks, “So, wanna go to that new rooftop restaurant? This is a once in a life-time ticket, so you best say yes.”

But your dinner with Jae…He’ll understand, right? He has to. It’s not like he seemed that excited about it anyway. And you could always spend the day together tomorrow, too. It would be pretty rude to turn down Yuta after he pulled some strings for you…

You smile at him, “Thank you Mr. Nakamoto, I won’t let you down as a partner. Yeah, dinner sounds great. Wanna meet there?”

You sit down on the small table, now nervous for other reasons.

Jae sits opposite of you, a small smile on his face. “Hey you,” he greets.

“hey…” you start, “I hate to change plans so suddenly, but…” crap, you feel really shitty. But you really were between a rock and a hard place.

“everything ok?”

“yeah, no. I actually just got promoted,” you start.

“You did? That’s awesome! So fast, too. Wow—but shouldn’t you be more enthusiastic about it?” he chuckles.

“I am, just—my old supervisor wanted to go to dinner to celebrate. And I don’t think I could say no after helping me out like that.”

“I mean, did you want to skip it or?” Now he’s confused.

“Well, he wanted to go out tonight since I start Monday and today’s Friday…I don’t think I can come over tonight,” you explain.

Realization crosses his features before he gives a small smile. “Don’t worry about it, you’re fine. And he’s treating you! You don’t know when the next time he offers might be,” he continues, “we can celebrate another day anyway.”

“Are you sure?” now you feel like shit.

“Of course I’m sure.”

For the rest of the lunch, a thick silence settles before he excuses himself back to work.

Jaehyun knew this was coming. Nothing ever went his way; it’s why he kept everyone at a distance from his heart. But he was weak when it came to you. This game of push and pull was bound to keep happening, and it only brought him that all familiar foul taste in his mouth.

I know, that sweet love song, Those words of promise

When you turn around, It's just an unfamiliar someone

It was why he decided to go else-where for university, instead of joining you and some of your friends to the one closest to home. He chose to go across the globe—far, far away from the curse of you.

It had started on a windy day, back when you were 4 and new to the town he grew up in. Jaehyun didn’t want to leave his mother’s arms, he didn’t like the thought of being with strangers until later in the day even if his mom promised that she would be back. A little girl with jean overalls like his came up to him and his mom, “why are you crying?”

“I am not!” he sniffed. He didn’t need to make new friends like his mom was trying to tell him. All he needed was to go back home. You took out something from your pocket and showed it to him, “look, my mom said I could give one to my first friend. She said it was sharing. Want one?”

In her little palm, were two kiss chocolates. “You’re not my friend,” he grumbled, “I don’t know your name.” At that, you giggled, “I’m Y/N!” you took his hand and placed a chocolate there, “there, now we’re officially friends.”

“See, Jae? You can spend some time with Y/N and have fun. Before you know it, I’ll be back,” she promised.

“Yeah, Jae! Come play blocks with me, and then we can try the coloring.” You held his hand as you led him deeper into the classroom. Just like that, Jae began to feel a little warmth in his chest. He didn’t mind that his favorite thing to do was play tag outside or that he wasn’t really good at coloring inside lines yet. But that didn’t matter to him. As long as he had this one friend around, he was content.

Sorry I'm an anti-romantic, I want to run far away

My heart that already chases after you, Blazes up as a small flame

Looking back at it now, it was a little funny. All it took to let you in back then was a simple chocolate kiss and your little sticky hand in his leading the way. You were always larger than life to him, sometimes he forgot that you were just as human as him.

As you two continued to grow, nothing seemed to change your friendship. But he knew that the depth of his feelings wasn’t mutual. It was in the way that you brought a lot different people together and decided to call it your family. Another of your friends, Jungwoo, liked to joke that you collected introverts for fun. To Jaehyun, it was more likely that you just didn’t see the fun in leaving people out. You were charming and passionate. Traits he wished he had. Your empathetic nature and gentle disposition were all that Jaehyun needed, even if he wasn’t the only recipient.

Once you guys started to hit puberty, things started to feel rocky. Jaehyun couldn’t help but physically distance himself from you, his ears were always red-hot. You had always been pretty to Jaehyun, but you were starting to become really beautiful. And if the boy’s locker rooms’ talk were anything to go by, then other people were definitely starting to realize “what a great catch” you were.

It really pissed him off. Who were they to say things as if all you were was a piece of meat? It disgusted him. But what disgusted him more was the fact that sometimes, he couldn’t help but also feel the way your body felt in his when you hugged in greeting. He hated the way his body reacted to everything you did.

He first messed around with a senior girl back when he was a sophomore, Sooyoung. She was leaving and he couldn’t take it anymore. Your boyfriend was a piece of trash and he was tired of hearing the way he would share what Jae considered to be intimate moments that had no business being public. But you seemed so happy… that next game, Jae stole the ball from him and scored on his own. Even if it cost him a three hour lecture from the coach, he would do it again. Fuck being a team, that guy was an asshole.

What he hadn’t planned on was liking messing around. He would never admit it, but the reason he couldn’t commit was because he couldn’t get rid of that small grain of hope that glowed in his chest every time you stared at him longer than would be deemed normal. It wasn’t often, but he knew he wasn’t seeing things. So, he succumbed to the cycle of push-and-pull that you guys had going on.

Jaehyun wasn’t blind, he knew that your work definitely spoke of your professionalism, but he’s also seen the way Nakamoto stared after you. Of the way his hand would often touch your waist when walking together. Even now, as he hears you apologize through the phone again as you get ready for your “date” with him he can’t help this heart feel heavy with anger. Anger at himself, for letting you slip away once more. He usually hopes for nothing but the best for you, but this time, he wishes you had an awful dinner.

Sorry I'm an anti-romantic, I don't believe in romance

I'm afraid that after burning my whole heart, It will only leave behind ashes

Throughout the entire dinner, you can’t seem to get Jae out of your mind. It keeps you from enjoying the delicious food, keeps you from keeping your usual banter with Nakamoto.

You’re about to call it a night and thank Nakamoto for inviting you out when he beats you to it, “damn, I was hoping this might be a good break from the usual overtime we do, but something tells me your mind has been elsewhere,” he offers good naturedly, “I know it’s valentine’s, so maybe this is why we feel so awkward, right?”.

You grimace a bit at that, “ah—I’m sorry. I really am grateful for the way you look after me in the company and I’m also thankful for this lovely dinner,” you stop a bit, afraid you might offend him, “I agreed to come out tonight, so no need to feel awkward.” You offer a smile.

“Alright then. I guess you already have your sights on someone?” he prods. Should you be honest? There was no rule against dating outside your department, and you were pretty sure your new boss’s wife also worked within the company. “…I do. But I’m pretty sure they don’t feel the same way. It’s been so long since we’ve known each other. Surely if something were to have happened, it would have by now.” You were loosening up, definitely the wine’s fault.

Nakamoto sighs at that, “damn, and here I thought I could woo you after this,” he winks jokingly but you laugh him off. You knew he didn’t care for you that way. “I really hope you’re talking about the guy you always eat lunch with. I swear everyone thought you guys were married when you were released from training.”

“What?! No, I—we’ve been friends since we were children—”

“Aha! So it was him then,” he smirks. “Good.”

You groan, “Please, no.”

“What, it’s not him? You sure about that?”

“I will neither confirm nor deny that statement,” you groan. Why were you discussing your love life? You push the wine away and take a sip of your water.

“Hmm. That’s too bad. Could have sworn that guy was after you.” He stands up. “But fine, I’ll stop prodding.”

You sigh in relief—“for now.” You groan. “What do you even mean by that? You don’t even know him. Or me, or at least personally at least.”

“Mmm, I don’t have to. Some things you just know. Like how he wishes I was six feet under every time we run across him at work,” he sobers up at that. “He seemed like a cool dude, but his glare isn’t too friendly. I don’t know how you fell for that.”

You scoff, “just because someone has a resting bitch face doesn’t mean they’re a bad person.”

You both make your way to the underground parking. “You’re right, it just makes them unapproachable. Is that why you won’t confess?” His genuine tone rubs you the wrong way, you don’t need be given false hope.

“Stop it, you said you would drop it,” you frown, “Anyways, thank you for the food boss—”

“—not your boss anymore. Just call me Yuta, we’re partners now.”

“Aren’t you two years older than me?”

“And?”

You shrug at that, “well, thanks Yuta. For the food, not for the interrogation.” He chuckles at that, nodding while pulling out his car keys. “see you Monday!” he waves you off.

You sigh as you get home. It wasn’t as late as you thought it was, only a few minutes past nine. You really wanted to see him. Would he be busy?

You fish out your phone and dial his number before chickening out.

“Hello?”

“Jae! It’s me. Are you busy right now?” your heartbeat is pounding so loud, you’re scared he could hear it on the other end. “Right now?” you hear shuffling on the other end, “no, I was just reading that book Jungwoo sent me. Might have dozed off a bit into it but don’t tell him I said that,” he chuckles.

“Why, is everything ok? It’s still early, did you end dinner that fast?”

“Oh, Yuta and I called it a night pretty early. Too many couples were out and about and it got a bit awkward,” you explained.

“Yuta?”

“Ah, yes. Yuta Nakamoto, but now that we’re associates, he said it would be better to address him less formally.” You waive him off, “actually, I was wondering—if it’s not too late, can I still come over? If not, that’s cool. We can still hang out tomorrow, but your birthday is today and I thought—”

He laughs at your rambles, “of course you can come over, you know you don’t have to ask. How many times have I told you that?”

“Ok, ok. Just checking,” you still had your comfy change of clothes in your car, so you opt to save those for tomorrow and change into something causal for tonight.

“Do you want me to go get you? We can get ice cream on the way, hopefully they don’t close early.”

“Sounds like a plan then,” curse your heart for melting at everything he says.

“Alright, give me 15 and I’ll be there.” He hangs up.

You look at your bag, resting on your sofa and you sigh. The entire night, it’s almost as if you could feel the weight of his gift weighing it down. Yuta is known for being very observant, it’s why he was so good at his job. Closing deals and making contracts in advertisement. Would he be right about this? You know you desperately wish he was, but is it worth risking your best friend?

EndNote | Woooow, that was a longass ride. Let me know if you liked it or if there are other typos I missed! Or just to let me know what you thought, that would be much appreciated. I'm thinking of finishing it by Sunday 6/13, so hopefully the next part is up by then. Until then!

Here's Part 2!

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myrskytuuli · 3 years

Note

Sorry if you've answered this before but I really enjoyed your post on how Harry Potter is a colonial fantasy, and I was wondering if you could elaborate on what told Hagrid fulfills in the colonial narrative? Bc I have a basic idea but I feel like I'm missing some important connection

Wow, what a fun ask!! Thank you so much for sending this :)

First of all, doing literary analysis will never yield real "answers" so saying that one character definitely fulfills one trope or another is just something that cannot be done, if one actually cares about literary analysis. However, the whole point of literary analysis is to tell one's own opinion on the subject, and in my opinion there is a certain continuation of trope usage in how Hagrid and some other characters are used in Harry Potter novels.

Western colonial literature has a long history of using a character who works as the main (white explorer's) servant and sometimes a confidant. Probably the most famous example of this type of character is Robinson Crusoe's Friday. In Shakespeare's Tempest we have both Caliban and Ariel, as both a villanous and virtuos example of this character. This type of character is saved by the white (almost always male) protagonist, and in return, the character becomes the protagonist's loyal and grateful servant-friend. Almost always, the danger this character had to be saved from, are their own people.

An evolution of this character could be argued to appear in Collin's Moonstone in the form of Ezra Jennings. No longer explicitly subserviant, Ezra is nevertheless employed by a white british man, where no one else would take him, and therefore becomes a loyal friend and servant of Dr Candy and his friends, with no needs, desires or wishes of his own.

A character like this can help establish the protagonist as a merciful, kind and decent person, in contrast to the villains, who would abuse the loyalty shown and given to them.

What postcolonial theorists critique in this trope, is the fact that the friendship between these character is never equal, and that the usage of this trope fails to consider the systematic abuse of imperial system, relegating all relations between the colonial subject and the coloniser to interpersonal conflicts, where being kind to one colonial subject frees you from the sins of the empire. This type of character also cannot be written from their own POV and therefore have their own rich, inner life worth examing and relating to.

Now, in Harry Potter we can firstly establish that there is colonial subject-coloniser tension inherent in the way the world is constructed. The creatures are subject to the law and authority of the Ministry of Magic, without being recognised as citizens with political rights by said ministry. The Ministry of Magic allows the centaurs to have some land. (OOTP) The Ministry of Magic doesn't allow goblins to use wands. (GOF and DH) Creatures are several entire demographics, who have to obey a rule of law set by a government they have no representation in.

Albus Dumbledore is textually said to be a great champion of creature rights, even if what he has actually done for creatures is never elaborated on. During the books, the only actual things he is shown to do relate to individual acts of benevolance towards non-humans. He allows Remus Lupin to attend his school as a student, saving him from life of misery. He allows Hagrid to stay and work in Hogwarts, after the legal system fails him. He takes in and employes Firenze, after he is banished from his herd. He takes in and shows kindness to Dobby and Winky, after they have been freed and left without a home.

All of these characters have few things in common. One, they are in a situation where Dumbledore's kindness is their last saving grace. Two, they are non-humans. Three, they all become intensely loyal and grateful towards Dumbledore in exchange for his kindness. Four, the rest of their people are either actively hostile or unsymphatetically indifferent towards them and their plight.

Therefore, I think that Hagrid, and other non-humans that Dumbledore has saved, serve as very evolved versions of Robinson Crusoe's Friday. A character there to prove that the character comfortably sitting atop the imperial system, is still a good man, and champions for the well-being of the lower castes, without having to compromise his own position.

Other's might have different and better analysises, but this one is mine.

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jt-artsandfics · 3 years

Note

Hey uhhh, I saw my sister do the bad batch match up thing and I was hoping you could match me up too? I’m super bad at this stuff so imma just go off,

I’m 5,4 and usually seen as a naturally angry kinda person (kind of like some goblin with anger issues) My eye colour is green and my left eye has a red coloured stripe in it bc I’m built different apparently. I have dark brown hair cut short, and I aspire to become a tattoo artist so I tend to sketch a lot. I have a resting bitch face but a good sense of humour. I like to make people laugh so I make a lot of dumb jokes because I love it when people let their guard down enough to see the fun side of them. I hate being bored and I usually have trust issues when it comes to men. I’m a sci fi nerd, I’m bad at math, my favourite insect is bees, I collect animal bones and I have a tattoo of a lemon on my ankle.

I’m not sure wether you are even going to do this but it would make my day if you do.

I match you with......

Tech

- Tech is the calm to your storm. He's the voice of reason when everything goes to shit. And he loves you for it. He needs someone who will tell him if he's doing something wrong, not getting enough sleep and such.

-your eyes are what catch him the most, they are very mesmerising to him, he loves staring into them when he's laying beside you.

-the both of you share a resting bitch face, and joke between each other. Alot of his jokes are science based and he doesn't make them often but when he does they are good jokes.

- he loves looking over your drawings and is very tempted to ask you to draw him one to get. Tho he doesn't quite know if be is ready for one he would like one, one day.

- he does ask the meaning behind the tattoo you have becuase it to him is interesting.

____________

"Are you sure this is sanitary?" He ask over his shoulder only to have them push his head back a little.

"Tech calm down, I wouldn't be doing this if I didn't know what I was doing, these are alot Easier to use then tattoo guns" they reply getting the laser set. Tech still moves fidgets until their hand comes to lay across his back.

" Tech, babe calm down. It's just a laser it's going to put the pattern on your shoulder ok. I'm here the whole way. Or would you like me to go get hunter to hold your hand" they laugh. He shoots them a look and scoffs.

"Don't you dare" he growls but then the air cuts off as they move to sit on his lower back. He almost chokes when he feels their hands run up is back. "Thats it Tech, relax this shouldn't take long"

They line up the laser and the prossess begins. Tech let's out a light his, his body tensing up before the hand on his back soothes him again.

"Your doign great babe, let me tell you these laser tattoos are so much better then the tattoo guns we use back home. Some times the prossess can take hours. This should only take about tten minutes at most" they reply as the continue tracing the laser of Tech's skin.

"I kinda like you like this Tech. On your stomach, at my mercy" they chuckle when makes him huff out a laugh.

"Your being a pest Y/n" he says. His body going tense when ever the laser traces a particularly tender spot.

"Well, well, well, Tech's finally getting Himself some ink and action" a voice says, Crosshair makes his presence known as he leans against the wall watching them both.

"Kriff Off Crosshair" Tech says, Y/n laughs lightly at that. Said sniper leaves with a grumble. Tech and Y/n stay in the same spot for another few minutes finishing off the tattoo.

They pat his back and moves to get off the table so he can sit up. " Well your all done now Tech" I hope you like it. Tech pulls himself up from the position.

Tech stands up chest bare and Goggles left on the bench his hair ruffles and curly. Y/n smiles looking to him. "you look like a sight handsome"

He moves to stand infornt of them, he towers over them as his hand comes to rest under their chin and tilt their head up and gentle pulls them into a kiss.

"Ahh get a room you too!" Wrecker yells as he walks past.

#tech the bad batch #the bad batch #the bad batch tech x reader #tech tbb #the bad batch tech #tbb tech #tbb tech x reader #the bad batch x reader #the bad batch x you

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cherryblossomstars · 4 years

Text

III. Midnight (W. Ushijima)

Taken from my AO3 series of one-shots & reposted here

Pairing: Ushijima x F!Reader

Word count: 2,051

Genre: fluff/slight crack bc seijoh

Summary: Aoba Johsai's volleyball team has never been able to defeat the Great Ushiwaka of Shiratorizawa. Their manager, however? She can bring him to his knees in mere seconds.

Or, Ushijima Wakatoshi is helplessly in love with Seijoh's Ace's twin sister, and the Aoba Johsai VBC is not appreciative of it.

Previous | Next

"Go fish." Oikawa says with a straight face.

Matsukawa huffs and picks up a white card from the middle of the table, "just when I had Uno."

"Suck it up." Hanamaki smirks, "Eevee uses quick draw. Draw a card, Iwaizumi."

"No, because you activated my trap card." Hajime flips over a card that was on the table.

"That doesn't count!" Oikawa yells.

"Yes it does." Matsukawa defends.

"No, it doesn't." Hanamaki cuts in, trying to avoid losing.

"What does the card czar say?" Oikawa turns to look at you.

You hold cards from Pokemon, Yu-Gi-Oh, Uno, Cards Against Humanity and a regular deck of playing cards. You're not sure what you're playing right now, but the upcoming third years seem to have played this before, seeing as they don't have a lick of confusion written on their faces. Next to the large deck in the middle of the table sits a cup of dice. "Er... Makki and Hajime roll a, um, D6 for initiative. Highest number goes first, so, um, their card will be the affective one."

The group around you nods. Makki rolls a 3, then Hajime follows up with a 6. Makki groans in defeat.

You nearly sigh in relief, you weren't sure if what you said was even close to what you were supposed to do.

The summer break of your second year in highschool, all the second years had decided to go together on a volleyball summer camp in Tokyo. Naturally, they convinced you to tag along as well. The camp was split between age groups, middle school and highschool were grouped together and being taught by adults, while elementary was being taught by adults as well as teenagers. The camp had no need of volleyball managers, so you had submitted an application to be part of the staff supervising and teaching the elementary kids.

Because of your decision to be part of staff, you were required to go to the camp at least a week early to get the basics of both teaching and safety for the camp. There, you found out that because the amount of people coming to this summer's volleyball camp was much more than they normally had, middle school and highschool would be separated this year and they needed extra hands for the middle school division. You had volunteered, meaning you would be supervising both middle school and elementary.

Later, you found out they were getting an extra influx of campers because they had decided to make the camp co-ed. You grumbled about it when you found out the camp was co-ed. You must not have seen the option when you signed up online, likely because Oikawa had been pestering you to bump a ball around with him while you applied. Stupid Oikawa.

It was only the third day of camp (and your tenth day of being there), but you were already so very tired and excited to leave. The camp itself would last three full weeks. Afterwards, you would be forced to stay behind an extra few hours to help clean the school that had allowed the camp to use their campus. Luckily, you managed to rope your fellow second years into staying behind with you to help clean up as well. Matsukawa owed you one for spraining your wrist the month before (even though it was an accident, you still successfully guilt tripped him), Matsukawa had asked Hanamaki to stay behind as well, Hajime had given you a shrug and simply stated "wherever you go, I go", and Oikawa had given into peer pressure.

You rarely got breaks during the day and practically only saw your classmates at night after the elementary and middle school's curfew. Highschool did not have an assigned curfew, which is why you were sat on the floor in front of a coffee table in the common room of some other school's dormitory with your classmates playing an abomination of a card game while three of your underclassmen (which surprisingly included Kyotani) sat on the couches around you.

It was already surprising to see Oikawa up late since he was so strict with himself when it came to his schedule (with the exception of studying other teams' past games before tournaments), but what was really shocking to you was seeing your boyfriend and his best friend come down the stairs at 12am.

It seems your classmates already knew he was here, judging by the lack of shock from everyone around you. The saltiness that immediately began to radiate from your friends and fill the atmosphere, however, was practically tangible.

"Wakatoshi! What are you doing here?" You jumped from your position on the floor to walk alongside him and Tendou, heading for the kitchen.

"Tendou wanted a snack." He shrugs.

"A little birdie told me that the kitchens stock midnight snacks after the middle and lower school's curfew!" Tendou practically bounced into the kitchen, opening up all of the cabinets and digging through the pantry to find a snack suitable to his taste.

Your boyfriend and you stood next to the kitchen island, waiting for him. "No, Toshi, I meant here. At camp. I didn't know you were coming."

"I tried to call you to tell you, but you never answered so I left a text."

"You did?" You tilted your head.

"He did!" Tendou chirped, his head poking around in the fridge, "he was even complaining about how you weren't answering. He got all worried cause his precious little girlfriend wasn't answering her phone~"

"When?" You asked.

He is quiet in thought for a moment. "Last week."

"Oh! I'm sorry, I must have forgotten to tell you I was coming here. The club kinda convinced me to come with them last minute, right before the application deadline." You explained.

"It's pretty cool you're here with us, though." Tendou began to empty out the freezer, looking for something. "Oh! You know what, Iwa-chan?"

You hum, "what?"

"I don't think you've met little Kenjiro yet, right?" Tendou asks, tossing a bag of frozen vegetables onto the countertop.

"Kenjiro...?" You think for a moment.

Ushijima slips an arm around your waist. "His last name is Shirabu."

"Hmm... Nope. Never met him." You confirm.

"He's our brand new up and coming setter. He'll be a second year when the school year starts, but he's already pretty good, right Wakatoshi?"

The man next to you nods, "he's very competent. He's here at the camp, too."

Tendou grumbles, "there's no ice cream sandwiches." He turns to you, "Iwa-chan! How come the guys upstairs had ice cream sandwiches? I can't find them anywhere!"

You let out a light laugh, "that's what you were looking for, Satori?" You remove yourself from your boyfriend's side and begin to head towards a freezer with a lock on it.

Tendou nods eagerly, "yep. Why's that got a lock on it?"

You fish out your lanyard from your pajama's pocket and attempt to find the right key out of all the keys you were given. "Because there are certain snacks only meant for the staff. The camp wants you guys eating as healthy as possible while you're here, even when it comes to snacks. It's why there's pretty much only protein bars in the pantry and fruits in the fridge."

"You have a key?" Ushijima asks from behind you.

You finally find the right key and pop open the fridge, "chocolate?" You ask. When you hear Tendou confirm it, you toss an ice cream sandwich his way. "Want a popsicle, Toshi?" You close and lock the freezer when he shakes his head no. "Yeah, I've got a key. I'm part of the staff. I gave my Seijoh boys some ice cream and popsicles earlier too. Oh, but make sure no one knows I gave you guys these."

"Oh, you're part of staff, huh." Tendou nods in understanding.

"That must be why I haven't seen you around the campus." Ushijima adds.

"Yup. I'm part of the middle school and elementary staff, so I don't see highschool a lot except for after curfew. And since I'm so busy with them, I pretty much never check my phone. Sorry about that, honey." You take your spot next to Ushijima's side once again and get onto your tippy toes press a kiss to his cheek.

Tendou almost visibly cringes, "I'm gonna go upstairs before I get any more uncomfortable. See you in our room, Wakatoshi-kun!" And with that, he leaves the kitchen happily munching on his ice cream, leaving you and your boyfriend alone.

Almost immediately, Ushijima's arms snake around your waist and he rests his forehead against yours. "You worried me."

"I'm sorry." You press another kiss onto his cheek and wrap your arms loosely around his neck.

He hums, "what are you doing after camp ends? My family wants to see you again."

"Sorry, my love. After camp I'm going to Sapporo with Oikawa."

He freezes, "just Oikawa?"

"Sorry, I shouldn't have phrased it like that." You bite back the urge to laugh at his reaction, "I'm going to Sapporo with my family and Oikawa's family. We go every Summer, it's tradition. My uncle and my aunt live up in Sapporo, so we usually stay until the last week of vacation. Nowadays, though, the adults and Takeru usually leave early for work, so me, Hajime, and Oikawa get left alone, anyway."

"I see. That sounds fun."

"Yeah. It is. I look forward to it every year. I'm sorry I won't get to visit your family, though."

"They will understand. It's nothing to worry about."

"Can I postpone the visit until the last week of summer? We can all go to the festival together." You hop onto sit on the island's countertop and pull Ushijima to stand between your legs.

He tucks his head into the crook of your neck, his hair lightly scratching you. "Yes, that sounds like fun. My cousins missed you."

"Pfft. Which ones? You have so, so, so many." And he did. His extended family may as well have extended to the entire country of Japan. When you had gone to visit his family during the holidays, there were so many people at his house it was hard to move around. And even then, he had told you that that was only a few of his relatives.

"Hayato missed you very much." He huffed.

Despite trying not to laugh out loud, your body betrayed you when you began to shake from your attempts at stopping yourself. Hayato, who was four when you last saw him, had claimed that he would steal you away from Ushijima and be the one to marry you. Immediately following that, another one of Ushijima's younger cousins had said she had already claimed you to be her playmate for life, so you would be unable to marry either little Hayato or Ushijima. "Your family is certainly a fun one."

"I'm glad you get along with them, but I won't be able to have you to myself at any point during the Summer."

"My first day back. I'll be all yours. I promise."

"You promise?"

"All yours, my darling love." You lean your head against his.

This feeling, being wrapped in the arms of the love of your life in the middle of the night, was pure bliss. The only accompanying noises were the muffled shouts of your best friends from the other room, and the thrumming of the kitchen appliances around you. And still, despite the incredibly unromantic environment, you couldn't help but feel yourself fall for the man in your arms even more. Yes, perhaps you were too young to be in love. Sure, highschool relationships won't always last. But this feeling was one you wanted to savor, and you were not planning on letting him go any time soon.

This is not a fairytale life. Ushijima certainly had the grace and looks of a Prince Charming, but, unlike in the storybooks, whether or not the clock strikes twelve would not matter. You would not run away and you would not be leaving a shoe at the steps. Instead, you would continue to rest in the arms of the man you love. And sure, there would be no huge, elaborate castle or jewels tossed your way, but this was more than enough.

Fin.

#Ushijima x Reader #ushijima wakatoshi x reader #ushijima wakatoshi #haikyuu #haikyuu x reader #shiratorizawa x reader #aoba johsai x reader

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lyssismagical · 4 years

Note

Hey, you know... if you ever wanted to write another Parkner glee au (bc i found the other two you wrote and I'm obsessed) I think the Bash episode in s5 would be pretty cool. If you can't swing it, that's fine. Just a suggestion but mostly good job I love what you've done with the others 💖💖💖

Glee AU #3 – Bash (S5 ep15)

{TW: Homophobia, Violence}

Ever since they moved to Boston together, things had been relatively calm. There hadn’t been any conflicts between any of the roommates, no terrible injuries, no issues with moving out, they’d been happily enjoying the adult life.

Harley and Peter were going to MIT, MJ going to Harvard, and Ned at Tufts University.

They were living in a decently nice apartment not far from all three of their campuses, and close to where Betty, Ned’s girlfriend, was going, Yale.

It was theirs in a way that most things weren’t. They paid for it all on their own, and they were continuing to pay rent, pay their bills, and buy groceries all with their own hard-earned money.

For Harley, the best thing about the past couple months in Boston was Peter.

They’d been dating since Junior year and now they’re living together, sleeping in the same bed, going to school together, having date nights all the time.

At first, MJ had said, quiet and concerned, that she was worried this would be too much for their relationship. She’d always been observant, and it was true that they were used to a lot of time apart. Especially with Harley spending the summers in Tennessee and Peter spending most nights Spider-Manning, they’d never really spent this long together.

But their relationship flourished.

Instead of feeling claustrophobic in their relationship, they basked in the time they could spend together.

They had more arguments, but they had a lot more time to communicate their problems and work through them. They were good for each other in that way.

The peace they’d all been basking in made it so surprising when the first headline appeared before them.

A friend of a friend was in the hospital after being beaten up in an alleyway, left unconscious in the rain, simply for being gay.

Peter hadn’t been Spider-Man in months. After Mysterio the summer before and the additional stress of moving to Boston and MIT, he’d made a deal with May and Tony that he’d put Spider-Man on the backburner unless absolutely necessary.

Everybody had expected, sitting around their dining room table, newspaper laid out on the center of the table, that Peter would be swinging through the streets to bring justice.

Instead, Harley found Peter in their bed, blankets tugged over his head like he was hiding from the horrors of the world.

“You okay, darling?” Harley asks gently. He sits on the edge of the bed and waits patiently as Peter slowly pulls the blankets off his head.

“No,” he says, eyes wide and glossy. “I know Travis wasn’t the only one with that way of thinking, but I guess it felt like the world was righter after Travis had changed for the better.”

Harley silently curses himself. Of course a headline like that would bring back unwanted high school memories.

Travis Wright had bullied Peter for three years, even going as far as threatening to kill Peter after he’d kissed Peter. A year or so later, after Harley and Peter had met, Travis had found Peter again, had admitted to being gay himself, had been projecting his own internalized homophobia on Peter, and told Peter he was becoming a better person.

“I’m so sorry, honey,” Harley murmurs, tugging Peter into a hug. “I promise you, you’ll be okay. We’ll keep you safe. We can have MJ’s boyfriend bodyguard you or something. Or we could even call Happy, get a real bodyguard-”

“I’m Spider-Man, Harls, I’m my own protection. I just- I worry about you. I know you’ve always been the kind of guy to fight back and you’re strong, but these guys- they’re always stronger and I don’t want anything to happen to you.”

Harley smiles gently at his boyfriend, kissing his forehead. “Is this the perfect excuse for you to walk me to class in the morning? I wouldn’t mind riding the subway with you.”

It’s a silly kind of joke to be making in such a scary time, but Harley’s always been the kind of person to make badly timed jokes.

It does it’s job, though. Peter offers a watery smile and links their hands together.

Peter does end up walking Harley from class to class, even if it means being late for his own, and even if it means nearly losing his job when he’s late.

He’d do anything to keep Harley safe, that had never been a question.

Except for the small fact that Peter’s a busy guy. He’s always been the kind of person to fill his workload to the very brim, to never give himself even a second of spare time.

So he’s not too surprised when one of the days, he’s waiting just inside the autoshop he works at, waiting for Peter to show up, when MJ hops out of a taxi instead.

“Peter called,” she explains, looping their arms together to start their trek back to their apartment.

If anybody threatening shows up in their path, they can just pretend to be dating instead, so neither of them are very worried about anything happening. And either way, it’s only a fifteen minute walk back to the apartment.

“Did he get caught up?” Harley asks, not a hint of anger or disappointment in his voice.

“A coworker asked him to cover her shift because her sister got in an accident. You know how he is. He called me on his break, very flustered and asked if I could walk you home.”

Harley frowns. “I’m capable of taking care of myself.”

“He knows that,” she says, squeezing his arm. “He’s just protective and he worries about you, about all of us, really. He’s even had Ned being careful not to take any shady routes home after classes.”

They make it home without any problem, unsurprisingly. Ned’s sitting on their couch, video game controller in hand. Betty’s stretched across the cushions, head in her boyfriend’s lap. She’s staying the long weekend at their apartment.

Harley immediately makes his way to the kitchen to start making dinner, and he hears MJ talking to Betty and Ned in the living room.

Maybe that’s why, when the call comes, it’s such a surprise.

It’s supposed to be a domestic, sweet Friday night with the five of them, eating Harley’s homemade dinner and bickering about which movie to watch.

It’s supposed to be the kind of night where everyone turns in early from a long week of hard work, followed by a late Saturday morning breakfast of Peter’s wonderful pancakes and MJ’s expensive coffee.

It’s supposed to be followed by Saturday Dinner Potluck where Flash and Harry come to visit, and Gwen sometimes makes it out to join them, and everyone makes a bit of food to share.

That’s not how it goes.

It’s late and the four of them are half-asleep around the living room, not worried about their missing fifth member, unsure when he’ll make it back from his late shift.

Harley’s phone rings from the kitchen, just loud enough to heard over the Friends episode that plays on the TV, more background noise to their hushed conversations than anything.

Harley extracts himself from the couch, coaxing MJ’s legs out of his lap and Ned’s head from his shoulder, socked feet padding quietly across the hardwood to the kitchen.

“Hello?”

As soon as the news is delivered, he slips into one of the breakfast bar stools, heart pounding in his chest as he utters a quick goodbye, fingers moving to dial Harry.

Harry, living just a few hours away in his own house with his boyfriend, answers his ringing phone, assuming wrongly that it’ll be Harley confirming Saturday Potluck.

Flash stirs against his chest when Harry drops his phone in horror and surprise at the news.

Tony’s asleep when his phone rings.

Pepper and Morgan are sleeping on the couch next to him, the credits of a Disney movie rolling on the TV.

The news is told before he can even get out a greeting.

He wakes Pepper, tears already shining in his eyes.

May’s working a night shift when she gets the call. It’s late and the worry spikes faster than imaginable. She’s gotten too many late night calls from any of the kids to know what it means.

The news still makes tears spring to her eyes and her knees go weak.

Harley’s been pacing the waiting room for nearly two hours by the time Harry and Flash burst through the doors, faces echoing Harley’s panic.

“Is he okay? What happened?” Flash demands, hands trembling as he grabs Harry’s and squeezes tight.

Harley opens his mouth to explain the story he got from the man who talked to them earlier, but nothing comes out.

“There’s been a few attacks recently,” MJ says, materializing at his side, hand on his shoulder. “A group of people who aren’t happy with the positive changes with gay rights who’ve been targeting people. I guess… There was this guy, Charlie, who was getting attacked in an alleyway, and- you know Peter. He’s never been the kind of person to stand by while someone else is in trouble.”

“Is he going to be okay?” Harry asks, paling when Harley and MJ are quiet for too long.

Harley swallows thickly. “He should be. He’s got Spider-Man on his side, and Charlie called the cops as soon as he got away. But the group, one of them pulled a gun.”

The boyfriends sink into a set of chairs across from them, knuckles white where they hold hands.

“But is going to be okay?” Flash’s voice is shaking almost as badly as his hands. “This isn’t even close to the first time he’s been shot.”

Before Harley can give an answer, not that he can really think of anything good to say, a nurse comes out of Peter’s room.

“Parker family?”

They must look like a strange bunch. Harley, MJ, Betty, Ned, Harry, and Flash, but the nurse barely even blinks when they turn to her.

“Is he going to be okay?” Flash repeats.

The nurse smiles. Not one of those plain and sad, sympathetic smiles, the kind of smiles that Harley was given when he was told his dad was never coming back. The kind of smiles that he was given when the principal at his first school told him there was nothing he could do about cruel words.

It’s not that.

It’s a genuine, good news smile.

“Yeah, he’s going to be just fine. His body’s still working through the anesthetics from the surgery, but everything went well and he’s all patched up. You can go in to see him, but I’d recommend not crowding his room when he wakes up.”

All eyes immediately turn to Harley. He’s Peter’s boyfriend, he’s not exactly sure if that takes priority over best friends, but he understands that they’re giving him the opportunity to see Peter first and his heart warms.

He nods quickly, thanking the nurse as quick as his clumsy tongue will let him, and his shoulders finally relax.

“He’s in room 248 whenever you’re ready.”

The nurse smiles once more before she heads back down the hallway she came from.

“Are you sure?” Harley asks when the two couples sit down again.

MJ smiles, patting at his shoulder. “Go see him. Come get us when you’re ready to. We’ll all be okay waiting for a little while longer.”

That’s all the reassurance he needs before he hurries down the hallway, awkwardly trying not to sprint, but desperate to see his boyfriend as quickly as he can.

He barely manages to slow himself when he bursts into Peter’s hospital room, eyes wide and burning with tears.

This is the one downside with being in love with Peter Parker.

Having to get used to seeing his loved one in a hospital bed too often, even if it’s never for very long. With Peter’s enhanced healing, he’s never been in the hospital for more than a couple days, but it also makes him think he’s invincible and jump into fights without a second thought.

Even now, in a scenario where Peter was supposed to be walking home from a shift at work, where he was supposed to join them in their living room, maybe offer to crack open a bottle of wine for them, snuggle up against Harley’s side.

Even then, Peter ended up in the hospital.

How much is the world going to throw at him for simple existing? How unfair is the universe for throwing this at him too?

Harley finally moves, eyes unable to stop staring at the cuts and bruises that litter his love’s pale skin.

He carefully slides into the space next to Peter in the bed, tears burning at his eyes as he gently presses a kiss to Peter’s temple.

“Nothing’s going to harm you, not while I’m around,” he promises.

He presses his nose against Peter’s neck, tucking his head in the crook of Peter’s shoulder, and he tries not to make it too obvious when the tears fall.

Harley jerks awake when he feels a kiss to his cheek.

His eyes dart around the room, remembering where he is and why, and the pain sparks in his chest, nothing physical but something so deeply emotional because his Peter was hurt.

“Hi,” Peter says, squinting up at Harley. His cuts have mostly healed, red lines left in their wake. The bruises have gone from the scary hues of black and purple down to softer yellows and greens. He’s half-smiling but there’s something awfully wrong about it.

“Are you feeling okay?” Harley asks, immediately regretting the words. “I mean, obviously you’re not, but I just- I don’t know-”

Peter winces and he rests his mouth against Harley’s jaw for a long moment to compose himself.

Eventually, he sighs and says, “I’ve been shot before and this isn’t my first being beaten up, that’s for sure. It’s not even my first time being beaten up for being bisexual. That was pretty much my whole junior year.”

Harley nods silently, gently threading his fingers through Peter’s hair. They’re close enough together, squished up in the hospital bed, that Harley can see the flush of Peter’s cheeks and the tears that pool in his eyes.

“But this felt so different. Travis, at least he knew me, right? He was never going to kill me, despite the threats he made. He was just a scared kid, you know? Those people, they saw a guy with a rainbow pin on his bag, and they wanted to kill him. They saw me protecting him, and they wanted to kill me too. That’s not- That’s not right.”

“It’s not,” Harley agrees because he isn’t sure what else he’s supposed to say. “I know, but Charlie, the guy you saved, he gave a full statement to the police, and it should be enough to track those people down and have them arrested.”

Peter sniffles, chin wobbling. “I’ve just never been that scared before. I was so worried for you that I wasn’t even thinking about me when I was walking home that night. I thought- I guess I thought I’d be okay because I’m Spider-Man. But I wasn’t Spider-Man.”

“I’m so sorry,” Harley says. He kisses his boyfriend’s forehead, grabbing his hand and threading their fingers together. Peter’s knuckles are busted, blood still staining his fingers.

Peter’s released from the hospital that night.

He’s still weak and beyond tired, but he throws on a brave smile as Harley helps him up and into the sweatpants and t-shirt MJ brought for them.

Harley hails them a taxi and he never lets go of Peter’s hand for the whole trip home.

“You okay?” Harley asks for the thousandth time when they reach their apartment door.

“I love you,” Peter says instead, kissing Harley before he smiles. “I’m good, I’m alright.”

Harley opens the door and leads Peter into the apartment.

The dining room, kitchen, and living room are all filled with people.

May, Gwen, Tony, Pepper, and Morgan made the four hour road trip to Boston. Harry, Flash, and Betty are still hanging around. Ned and MJ are setting the dining room table. Abbie and Macy got the nearest flight from Tennessee.

There’s food laid out across the table and MJ spots them first, lighting up in a smile.

“Saturday Night Potluck,” she explains, jogging over to pull Peter into a tight hug. “Don’t you ever do that to me again, you hear me?”

“No promises,” Peter says, but he’s smiling brightly and he looks so much younger, worry lines smoothing out and the nicks and faded bruises look more like tricks of the light, not a traumatic experience painted so much deeper than his skin.

Tony’s there next, but he doesn’t take it as well. “Are you kidding me, Parker?”

Harley can tell the anger comes from the right place, and he rolls his eyes. “You couldn’t wait even one day to reprimand him?”

“Was I stupid to think you’d be safe here?” Tony demands, completely ignoring Harley. “Was it stupid of me to think that sending you off to University would mean you’d be safe? What were you thinking, Parker? What if they’d all had guns, huh? What if- They could’ve killed you.”

“I know.” The smile’s faded from his face and it makes Harley want to punch Tony. “But I’ve been dealing with these kinds of people for as long as I can remember. I’ve got my healing, Tony. I can’t just stand by when things like this happens.”

Tony’s expression crumples and he tugs Peter into his arms. “Please, for the sake of my old heart, please don’t do anything like that again. I can’t handle getting anymore calls like that, okay?”

Peter squeezes Tony, but doesn’t bother making that promise.

Everyone knows, all too well, that Peter’s guilt complex mixed with his heroic compassion, he’d never be able to give up helping people. It’s just what he does.

“Saturday Night Potluck!” Ned calls out, arms spread wide to show off the arrangement of too many lawn chairs around their much too small table, covered in different dishes and foods. “Come eat!”

Harley smiles and wraps an arm protectively around Peter’s waist to lead him to the table.

Life is about weighing the good with the bad, and Peter, despite having been through so much bad, still has plenty of good constantly surrounding him.

He has his strange, inexplicable family. He has Saturday Night Potlucks and Friday movie nights. He has this.

Harley squeezes his hand.

He’s still here, still standing, still going to view the world in the same optimistic, hopeful way that he always has despite everything that’s told him not to, still going to stand strong and brave, still going to stand up for what he believes in despite the consequences he might face, still going love because love is enough to conquer hate.

He’s still here.

Taglist: @littlemissagrafina @spideygirl2003 @romeoandjulietyouwish @c-artara @shadedrose01 @likeaphoenix13 @pj-hermes-tonystark-obsessed @you-get-killed-walk-it-off @kitkatwinchester @emo-girl10

#lyss writes #lyss answers #glee au #parkner #irondad #glee #thompsborn #peter parker #tony stark #harley keener #michelle jones #parley #harley keener/peter parker #parkner fic #i wrote this mostly at 2am and kinda drunk so pls excuse any mistakes lmao oops #klaine au #the bash episode makes me cry a heck of a lot #blaine singing not while i'm around just his voice makes me cry oof

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luvdsc · 3 years

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Hi sweatpea! I've been admiring you for a while and wanted to chuck you a message but your inbox is closed. I really enjoy reading your works and constantly finding myself reading them after a long, stressful day. Idk how you do it, but I genuinely look up to you. I just wanted to also ask for some advice. After reading your asks and what not, I'm in a similar situation. Even though I am younger, nearly 21 I work a full time job at a hospital. I worked all throughout covid and damn I'm still exhausted. Where I'm located, my state has been covid free since Jan/Feb. Though everyday I am still working. I feel like I have no energy or emotions left in me. I work and go home cook, clean and repeat. I barely sleep bc of insomnia and I repeat the next day. I feel as if my social life is non existent and I feel like I'm going into a slump bc the smallest things will tick me off or I become upset really quickly. I'm sorry to like dump this on you, I just wanted some advice on how to manage life and I did wanna DM and just check in on you every so often but it's okay! I hope you are resting enough ❣️

Just bc I forget to add on to make more sense , wow I'm an idiot, like literally. I live out as home as well and I don't study. I work full time to help get me by but I live paycheck to paycheck. My friends don't get it either?? They all have everything handed down to them whereas I am completely different you know? It's just frustrating and upsetting and ofc I wanna study too, bit I have a medical condition that affecting me rn to do that and my friends kind of like, look down on me??

✿ ✿ ✿

hi, lovebug! 💕 sakdfahkj wait i think my inbox is open since you sent me an ask? 😅 i toggled with the allow/close ask option a few times just to be sure. thank you so much for reading my fics and enjoying them, honey bee 💜 i am gonna be honest with you - i’m practically a workaholic and my social life has really deteriorated because of it 🤧 so i don’t think i’m the best at managing life 😅 my daily life is pretty much the same - i wake up, work, eat dinner, work some more, watch an hour of tv or do some art, exercise, go to sleep, repeat. the last time i facetimed my friends was for one of their bdays at the beginning of feb and when i facetimed steph and ti a few weeks ago. i really only manage to keep up with texting with 7-8 of my friends daily, and everyone else is pushed to the backburner until the weekend, or if i’m too tired, i respond to them the following weekend. however, i communicated this with my friends before - that i’m not purposely ignoring them, but i’m really busy with work and i need to put my mental health first, which means any little free time i get will be used to relax and destress. so they understand, and they’re fine with me responding later than usual. so at this point, i think what’s best for you is to try to carve out maybe an hour of your day for just yourself and focus on your mental health. do something you enjoy, exercise, watch a tv show, etc. i find that having that one hour for myself makes me feel much better after an exhausting day of work 💕 i think adding in little things throughout my day also help, too, like when i take a break, i go and sit outside for a bit or i eat my favorite snack. so it’s kind of like having little pick me ups throughout the day, which keeps me going 💞

also, you are absolutely not an idiot, honey bee. there’s nothing wrong with living at home, and you’re saving money that way, so that’s smart! studying does not equal intelligence. some people are lucky and have been given more life opportunities than others based on their social / economic status, which lets them have that option to study in school. that doesn’t mean you’re not smart. you’re working full time and providing for yourself, which is absolutely incredible, and i’m positive that so many other 20 year olds would not be able to say the same or do what you’re doing. i do not know what it’s like to live paycheck by paycheck, but i’m sorry that you have to go through with that ): i imagine that it’s very stressful... also, your friends don’t really sound like your friends if they treat you like this and make you feel that way. if you’ve communicated with them how you feel and they still act like this, i think you should drop them. they’re only adding negativity and stress to your life. i’m sorry to hear that you’re going through so much, and i can only hope that your situation gets better in the future, sweetpea 💗

#asks #poutypoutybin

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ecsta-zi · 4 years

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My experience with white privilege (and how I found out it was real)

I was 20 years old and had been living in the Bronx for 4 years. I had a GED and seasonal/temp experience in both the restaurant and retail industries (3-4 months each.) So i only had about a year of experience working in retail and about 6 months or so working in restaurant. It seemed as though I was only capable of obtaining temporary jobs. It was frustrating because no matter how hard I worked at these jobs I just never seemed to be good enough to be hired permanently. Both times they simply told me that there were no permanent positions to be filled but my insecurities tell me I wasn't good enough.

When it came time to find a new job my boyfriend's mother referred me to Lisa Employment Agency at 247 West 35th Street New York, N.Y 10001. A job agency where you can only get restaurant jobs. She handed me my money and I was there at 8:45 am on 05/17/17.

When I came in, there was an area for people to wait. It was already filled for being nearly 9 :00 am and per usual I am the only caucasian in the room. Most of the people in the room were black and hispanic men. Some were half asleep, some of them were on their phone and some simply looked stressed. I saw an empty seat on the left side middle row at the end. Ahead there were a few desks. A Hispanic woman to the front left whos name is Sue and another Hispanic woman to the front right. In the back with the big desk there was a Hispanic man by the name of Rene Munoz.

Before my body even touched the seat I was called up by the big man himself (Rene.) I handed him the money and the resume I created myself. He looked at it and said "you don't have a lot of experience but that's ok because you're young." He made a phone call and I had a job interview set up for me to go to immediately. My position was "helper" at the juice bar at Pier 59 Studios. My starting wage was $15/Hr. This was BEFORE the minimum wage was set to $15/hr. If you don't know what Pier 59 Studios it is the LARGEST photography studio in the world. Name any fashion magazine! They've done shoots there. Now I am an obese pale white girl who wore their makeup like it was still 2010. Everyone there was GORGEOUS and the place was boujee as fuck. Even the damn secretary at the front desk was super model gorgeous. I felt out of place. Anyway, when Rene Munoz handed me the card he told me "bring more people like you, you know your kind....your friends."

He basically told me to bring more white people.

Prior to arriving my boyfriend's mother who was friends with sue (lady at the desk to the right who got my boyfriend the job at blake and Todd on 47th street) told me that sue told her that they were looking for more white people and that I would not have a problem getting a job because I'm white. My boyfriend's mother is hispanic as well as my boyfriend.

Since I was 14 I've been in and out of homes, cities, and towns where I was the only white girl. I was use to jokes like that. Like "oh don't worry you're white the cops won't pay you no mind" or the one time my friend said to her mom "don't worry mom she's white we won't get into any trouble." as a joke. I simply thought it was another one of those things.

I didn't actually think she was being deadass!!!

At the time I wasn't going to sit there and run my mouth about how racist that shit was. A bitch needed a job I didn't want to lose MY job opportunity by preaching. I shut my mouth and I went. [ Insert White Privilege Here]

At this agency you pay a fee and they give you three shots to try out different jobs. If i didn't like one they'd give me another.

My first day at Pier 59 studios was my training and I couldn't handle the pressure. There was so much perfection expected of you because you're serving drinks to people who worked in the fashion industry. There was talk about the famous people who came in and out of there, and there were perfect gorgeous people around me and i was a potato. Also apparently there was this very important french woman who worked in the industry having some brunch meeting. I wasn't about catering to people and celebrities in the fashion industry. I didn't show up the second day.

When I try to tell people this story, especially people from my race, they get so mad at me because they're the type of people who don't believe in "white privilege." They say the same thing as any other white person who doesn't get it. "I had a hard life, i was poor, i had no privileges, i had to work hard for everything I have. No that wasn't an example of white privilege it was an example of racism" That one was the most idiotic I've ever heard. But they fail to realize that there are employers out there that would literally take one look at you and one look at the black guy next to you and choose you simply because you're white. They don't understand that these men that were waiting in the waiting area were 10+ years older than me and obviously way more experienced! That they are waiting for jobs to accept them for an INTERVIEW because the employers working with the agency told them theyre not hiring black people and that they aren't hiring people who can't speak perfect english. I mean, it was heavily implied given the fact that only poc are sitting there and i walk out with a job interview in less than 20 minutes and was straight up told to my face to bring more people like me . They overlook the part where I tell them that Rene acknowledged the fact that I had little experience and he still gave me this boujee ass job with high expectations!! Completely missed the fact that the man told me to BRING MY KIND. That the color of my skin meant that I had a long list of employment opportunities because that is what they're looking for.

I was like them in a sense. I too grew up shit poor, i have a ged, I'm basically white trash and that I never got anywhere bc of my skin color. That day though, reality slapped me so hard I still can't believe that REALLY happened, that it still happens and that it happened right in front of my face.

I didn't do a thing about it. I felt so guilty for awhile and I still do. This isn't that "white guilt" shit or me "apologizing for being white." I know that pisses off white people.

Black and Hispanic people contributed a lot to who I am and where I am right now in my life even at 23 years old. I was raised and mentored by strong black queens who I would do anything for. If it weren't for them I probably wouldn't be alive. I was educated and influenced by black men. If it weren't for them I would still be struggling with reading comprehension, i would've failed english and history. I would've never got my GED. I wouldn't have gone to college. If it weren't for latinas I wouldn't know shit about cooking or cleaning or how to manage money, i wouldn't have a home, and i wouldn't have done anything decent in my life.

All of these people, people of color, who lifted me up off the ground, picked up every piece of my brokenness, and made me whole are the reason why I felt guilty. Not because I am ashamed to be white. But because I am ashamed of the fact that I wouldn't have even been there at that job agency if it weren't for them and that I failed to be an ally all for some boujee ass job I didn't want anyway.

I had to accept the fact that there wasn't much that I could do.

One day I was fucking around on google maps, writing reviews for places I've been to. I decided to look up Lisa Employment Agency and I wrote a review regarding what happened that day. A warning to those who are poc and desperate for a job to not give them their money. That was the best that I could do.

The purpose of me writing this is because people don't understand how real this shit is and that it still happens. White people don't understand that just because YOU yourself have never been in a position where you used your white privilege doesn't mean that it doesn't exist.

It does. Its real. And it's fucked up.

******Below I have a photo of the card that Rene gave me. I still have it for some reason. A big chuck of it was cut off but you can still see the name of the man at the agency. You can see where it says Pier, the date is there, and my starting salary. (I cut a piece of it off to scoop up my weed sorry) It is the only proof I have that it happened. The name and number written above my name was the name of the owner or manager at pier 59 studios.******

#Racist #racism #white priveledge #amerika #change #personal #election #my story #new jobs #us politics #sociology #news

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theshinsun · 4 years

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brace urself, this is for the writing meta ask: 2, 6, 7, 14, 17, 19, 20 (if you need a direction for this... I always wanted to hear more about Bring Me Roses), 21, 22, and 24 bc i'm nosy and still very into your craft. thank you buddy!!

2. Tell us about what you’re most looking forward to writing – in your current project, or a future project

I'm so excited/terrified to finally start my knb college AU. I've been sitting on this idea for almost two years I'm so ready but at the same time I'm so not ready.

The gist is it's every single self-indulgent, chaotic, projection-ridden idea I've ever wanted for these boys all rolled in a big ball of shenanigans and character growth. It's a beautiful mess and I can't wait to make it happen as soon as ANR is done.

6. What character do you have the most fun writing?

This is gonna come right the fuck out of left field, but I love writing Himuro. I have so much fun writing just... snark, and that boy is the perfect outlet, there's no bottom to that salt mine. I remember getting a similar kick out of writing Tsukishima in the past, I just live for sassy dialogue. It ain't much but it's honest work.

7. What do you think are the characteristics of your personal writing style? Would others agree?

My style is very present, I think (which is funny bc there was a time I never would have considered writing present tense) focusing on what's happening and how it makes the character feel in the moment. I like to write specific, detailed imagery, but I try to keep it short and relevant to the scene, so I can move along and focus on what's important. I wouldn't call it fast-paced, exactly, but it is pretty to-the-point. And I think, based on the feedback I've received, that people who read my fics might agree with that. I've heard that my writing is very personal and character-driven, and I think that might be a byproduct of the time I spent writing in first person. Now I write almost exclusively third person limited, but I still like to get in the character's head and tell the story from their "point of view", I guess.

14. At what point in writing do you come up with a title?

It depends almost entirely on how quick I'm able to come up with a pun lol. Sometimes a fic has a title before I've even written the first sentence, sometimes I have to scramble for something, anything in the last few seconds before I publish it. A lot of the time I'll have a working title like "that one really fucked up aokaga oneshot" for pretty much the duration of writing a new fic… and a lot of the time I'll end up using song titles, even though we're past the days of writing songfics.

17. Do you think readers perceive your work - or you - differently to you? What do you think would surprise your readers about your writing or your motivations?

I think, to a degree, people get different things from my writing than I intended -- which is good! The way a piece of writing can be interpreted completely differently depending on who's reading it is one of the best things about being a writer tbh. I think people might be surprised, though, how different my fics often turn out from how I set out to make them. These days I've usually got a pretty detailed outline for what's going to happen, but even with all the preparation in the world, sometimes a fic will take a sudden detour I didn't expect, or something I wrote before will take on new meaning and change the direction I meant to go in. This definitely happens more with my longer fics, but there are times even with oneshots where I look back at what I set out to write, and what I ended up writing, and they're completely different.

19. Is there something you always find yourself repeating in your writing? (favourite verb, something you describe ‘too often’, trope you can’t get enough of?)

I tend to write a lot of scenes with characters talking while in the car (cars are an intentional motif in ANR, but in something like GWGE there's not actually a lot of narrative purpose to this) I don't know why, maybe because it's a convenient way to have characters talk one-on-one, or maybe it's because I've had a lot of meaningful conversations while riding passenger, couldn't tell you, but it's cropped up more than once in my current fics and will probably feature in some of my upcoming ones (the college AU strikes me as a likely candidate), and I think it's worth taking note of.

20. Tell us the meta about your writing that you really want to ramble to people about (symbolism you’ve included, character or relationship development that you love, hidden references, callbacks or clues for future scenes?)

SINCE you mentioned Bring Me Roses, and I never really get to talk about it, pls allow me to go on a lengthy tangent about my most underrated fic of all time. (Like 90% of the reason it's still incomplete almost two years later is because the response when I posted it was so underwhelming, but I still stand by it. Someday I'll finish it, hopefully, if just for myself.)

I'm so fucking proud of the language in this one. It's not perfect, by any means, but the imagery in my opinion is very strong, and almost every line of dialogue is saying something without really saying it. There are frequent allusions that something happened to Aomine's mother, relatively recently, and that Momoi is worried about him overworking out of grief or guilt, but none of those things are ever actually stated. There's also some pretty heavy implicit flirting between Aomine and Kuroko, even if it's a bit unusual and they're both playing it coy at this stage, the chemistry is there and the interest is mutual. And of course, because it's a florist AU, the flower symbolism… I spent so long researching bouquets, plant husbandry, how to prep and preserve cut flowers, and of course… flower meanings. The main ones that keep getting brought up are dahlias, which have just as many negative connotations as positive ones, including betrayal and instability, but also dignity, creativity and change, and come in a variety of colors shapes and even sizes (Islander or "dinnerplate" dahlias were definitely going to feature in part 2… as well as the connection between them and Aomine's mother). I know a lot of these things might not hit as hard because there's no actual payoff (yet), but still, in terms of "show don't tell" and setting up things to come, I don't think I have a single better example in my fic repertoire, I really went all out with this.

It's a shame I never got to follow through, but I got the impression that there just wasn't a lot of interest, and even if that alone is kind of a dumb reason not to continue, after I worked so hard to pull off what I did, the lack of response really killed my motivation. (I wonder sometimes if it would've been better received if it was an AoKaga fic… actually, I don't need to wonder, I'm sure it would have been, but that's not the story I set out to tell and I'm not going to change it.)

21. What other medium do you think your story would work well as? (film, webcomic, animated series?)

Oh, I'd love to do some of my fics as comics. I even tried it at one point; GWGE was going to be a comic originally, before I decided a multichapter fic would probably be less exhausting (the first couple pages are still floating around in my art tag somewhere, though this was back in high school so the quality is… heh).

22. Do you reread your old works? How do you feel about them?

Yeah… I reread a lot. Usually while I'm working on a new chapter, I'll go over the ones that lead up to it to make sure I don't repeat the same phrases too much and that the continuity lines up, and I'll also admit to going back and just reading my own fics for fun. Sometimes the only one who's written exactly what I want to see is me.

How I feel about them depends on the fic… some of my older ones are a mix of nostalgia and cringe tbh, but there are some I still genuinely enjoy revisiting from time to time.

24. Would you say your writing has changed over time?

Oh hell yeah. For… better and worse, honestly. I feel like I've lost some fluidity and confidence in my writing, and it sometimes turns kind of stilted, so I try to overcompensate which results in pretty jarring changes of tone, but at the same time, I've gotten much better with rhythm and syntax, my grammar skills are always improving, and I'm able to incorporate a lot more intentional meaning and subtext without always stating things outright.

#shin speaks #writer woes #this turned out... long #long post #knb #anr #bmr #gwge #aokaga #aokuro #meta #thanks friend it was really fun answering these!#not sure if I need a... readmore break here... ah well #answered

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fairytales-of-yesterday · 5 years

Text

My Lonely Days Are Through

A/N: okay so I finally wrote a fic! this is my first fic in like,, 4 years or so? so be gentle with me I guess lmao

I am pretty content with this though! I'm soft as hell so,,, here we go :)

@gardnerlangway this one's for you, lovely

(no editing we die like men)

A yawn escapes your lips as you stretch out and then curl back up. Tim's heart flutters as he watches you rub your nose, your brows furrowed. You're currently curled up on his couch, fast asleep. It's a typical Friday night for the two of you, one spent together. After meeting Tim when you started working in the museum a few months back, the two of you had built up a routine around each other. You would eat lunch together on your break, stay after hours working and keeping each other company, you would even go grocery shopping together on weekends. Today was no exception to your intertwined schedules. Upon leaving the museum for the day, you had grabbed a late dinner and ended up back at his apartment. You had started the night working, but the stress of the week and your recent lack of sleep had taken its toll, and you dozed off relatively quickly after 2am hit.

The soft light of the television dances colors across your face as Tim looks on in complete adoration. Your eyelashes cast tiny shadows on your cheeks as your chest rises and falls steadily. You had borrowed a shirt and some shorts from him, you both agreeing it would just make sense if you spent the night, and his eyes couldn't help but wander to where the tshirt had ridden up to expose a bit of your stomach. His breath catches in his throat as he finds himself thinking about what it would feel like to hold you there. What it would feel like to just have you close. To run his hands along your soft skin and-

"Okay wow, Tim." He quickly looks back at the bright screen of his laptop in order to rid his mind of these compromising thoughts. But, as his eyes make their way back to you, he runs a hand through his hair and breaths a quiet laugh. "I really do have it bad, don't I?"

He quickly covers his mouth though as he sees you slightly stir, not wanting to wake you. He had seen the effect the last week had had on you, his heart slowly falling more and more as each day you seemed to become a little more quiet, a little less peppy, and a little less yourself. The project you had been working on was one you were very passionate about, but it had become quite the endeavor. Though you had been thrilled to take it on, the universe had not been on your side, with people forgetting to follow through with their promises, paperwork getting mixed up, and even artifacts getting misplaced for a bit due to the lack of a proper cataloging system when the museum first opened. It nearly broke Tim's heart to see you become so unhappy with something that had made you so ecstatic before. He had done all in his power to keep you smiling, with funny stories, bad jokes, and any help he could offer, but you couldn't help still being discouraged. He had even mustered up the courage to give you a little kiss on the forehead as he left your office at one point, and the smile it brought, along with the blush that rose to your cheeks, was definitely worth the ten minutes he spent panicking over whether or not he should even attempt it. Just the memory of your flustered face makes him grin.

A small whine draws him from his thoughts. He looks up to find you rubbing your eyes and slowly pushing yourself to a sitting position. He tries his best to maintain his composure as you sleepily pull down your shirt and run your hand through your hair.

"Good morning," he chuckles quietly. You look at him in sleepy confusion before realizing what happened.

"Oh nooo," you groan, putting your face in your hands. He laughs a little louder this time, scooting over on the couch to bump your shoulder with his. You smile into your palms, your face flushing pink at the contact. He bumps you again, drawing your face away from your hands. Peeking through your fingers, you can see the soft but wide smile on his face.

"Have a nice nap?"

It's teasing, but you can see something resembling concern in his gaze. You just nod in response, running a hand through your hair. "I don't think I've ever seen you fall asleep this fast," he cautiously approaches the subject, "have you slept this week?"

The laugh that escapes you in response only makes his concern grow. He asks again, softer this time, and you look up at him with tired eyes.

"I uh... I think I got ten hours this whole week."

"Ten?"

You wince slightly at his tone, cursing yourself for not adding a few hours to make him feel a bit better.

"But that's like... two hours a night! You've gotten ten hours of sleep this whole week?" You can't tell if it's shock or sadness in his eyes. Maybe both.

"Eleven if you count the nap I just took?" You joke, trying to calm him a little. "Tim, I'm okay I promise, I've been through a lot worse, honest."

"Worse?!"

Okay, so that didn't help. But before you can say anything else to try and defend yourself, he wraps you up in a tight hug. You tense up for a second, taken by surprise, but quickly you melt into him. You don't even realize you've started crying until you hear Tim trying to comfort you.

"I'm- I'm sorry," you hiccup into his shoulder, tears beginning to stain his shirt.

He rubs your back slowly, quietly shushing you, and telling you that it's absolutely okay, and you have nothing to apologize for. You shiver at his touch, burying your face in his neck, breathing him in. You stay like that for a few minutes, you trying to stop your ragged breaths and the tears spilling from your eyes, him rubbing your back, occasionally switching to run his hands through your hair, whispering words of comfort. However, eventually you pull away with a pitiful laugh.

"Sorry about your shirt," you whisper, trying to simultaneously brush your tears off of his shoulder and wipe your eyes.

"Hey, it's completely okay. I know this week has been rough. You have every right to be upset. But, it's over now, okay? Next week'll be better, yeah? I'll make sure it is."

He's relieved to see a watery smile grace your lips. No, that's an understatement. He's almost on the verge of crying himself, never having seen you in this state before. He brings his hands up to cradle your face, wiping the still falling tears with the pads of his thumbs, somehow not noticing the deep shade of red you're turning. With his hands still around your face, he tilts your head so you're looking up at him.

"Now, what do you say I pop some popcorn and you turn on something you like?"

A breathy laugh escapes you and you nod, not really trusting your voice with him this close to you. You can see the masked worry in his features as he smiles, and you mentally kick yourself for stressing him out. But, that thought leaves you as he stands up, giving you a chaste but firm kiss on your forehead. You're eternally grateful that he goes to the kitchen immediately after bc you can't stop the blush that rises to your cheeks.

"Dear god, that boy's gonna kill me," you whisper, wrapping yourself up in one of the blankets that had been resting on the back of the couch.

You start to flip through the channels, eventually landing on a documentary, and you hear a chuckle behind you. You turn to find Tim with a bowl of popcorn in his hand, looking at you in what you could only describe as fond adoration. You flush again, and he laughs fully now, plopping down beside you. You lift the blanket, inviting him in, and he gladly accepts, scooting over close enough to bump knees with you.

You fall into a comfortable silence, both of you enraptured by the bright images on the tv. Every now and then your hands brush when trying to reach for popcorn, and you mentally curse yourself for getting so worked up over cliches, not knowing that Tim was doing the exact same thing.

You're the first to speak.

"Thank you."

It's a quiet whisper, accompanied with a shoulder bump. He bumps you back and gives you a lopsided grin.

"It's the least I could do."

“What?”

“Y/N, you've spent the last few months I've known you being so amazingly kind to me. You bring me food, you save me seats in meetings, you laugh at my jokes, you-”

You cut him off very seriously, “Okay they're good jokes, Tim.”

At that he laughs, breathlessly.

“Not good enough for you to cry in the middle of a meeting! I was trying to be quiet and you almost spit your water everywhere!”

Now you're both laughing, remembering that stupid planet joke and how you just about died of embarrassment, and before you can think or stop yourself, you say it.

“God, I love you.”

It's like all the oxygen leaves the room. Both of you are immediately gasping for breath, as if the air had been knocked out of your lungs. Before you can sputter out an apology, anything to make things go back to how they were before you blurted out what had been your most well-kept secret, Tim manages to get out,

“You… you what?”

His eyes are wide, and you're sure yours are as well. You're in love with him. You're in love with him. You had never even said it to yourself before. It had always just been little sighs, thoughts of him basically all the time, or little whispers to yourself about how bad you've got it. Never an outright, ‘I'm in love with Tim Murphy.’ No, the first time you said it just had to be right to his face.

You start to say ‘sorry, no, wait,” to say, ‘hold on I shouldn't have done that,’ but then you stop. And you look at him. Tim. Tim, with his sweet words and his brilliant mind. Tim, with his adorable laugh and beautiful smile that he had come to trust you with. Tim, with his tight hugs that make you feel safer than almost anywhere else. Tim, with his strong arms and gorgeous face and Jesus Christ his HANDS are just about the hottest things in the world like oh my god the things he could- you've gotten off track. The point is, you don't want to apologize. You don't want to take it back. You love him.

So you say it again.

“I love you.”

And then it's quiet. He looks honestly shell-shocked. You can almost see his gears turning behind his eyes, trying to figure out what to say after that. Immediately, your brain jumps to the worst possible scenario, and you begin to backtrack.

“I'm sorry. Oh my gosh, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said anything, I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable, I just- you're so lovely, but you can completely ignore any of this just hap-”

And then he's kissing you. It's a short kiss, just a sweet, small one, but you're out of breath when he pulls away. You open your eyes to see him in a similar state, his face completely flushed. But he quickly finds his voice.

“I can't tell you how long I've wanted to do that.”

All you can do is laugh, still trying to remember how to breathe.

“The feeling is mutual.”

He blushes and gives a bashful smile, then hesitates again, opening his mouth, then closing it, once more unable to speak. However, he manages to regain his composure enough to ask,

“Can… can I kiss you again?”

Not even bothering you answer, you close the gap between you. You feel Tim smile against your lips, and you can't help but do the same. You don't know how it happens, but somehow you end up on his lap, straddling him. Your hands are on his chest as your lips move in sync, slowly, but desperately. Passionately. His hands make their way into your hair, and you whimper quietly into his mouth as he gives it a slight tug. Your face heats up immediately, but you just keep going, pretending it didn't happen and hoping he missed it. He definitely heard it though, and you feel him smirk against you.

Shit, that's hot … everything he does is hot.

You roll your hips experimentally to retaliate, still on top of him, and the moan that leaves his lips is one of the most beautiful sounds you ever heard. It goes straight to your core, and you let out a groan yourself. You start to roll your hips once more, desperate to draw that sound from him again, but his hands come up to your waist and stop you. You can see he’s panting, and his hair is all disheveled.

“Okay, as much as I want to do that, and I really wanna do that,” he pauses as you giggle, “you just told me that you got 10 hours of sleep this week. I promise we can continue another time, but right now, you need to sleep.”

You pout, knowing he's got a point.

“Okay, but only since you promised.”

He helps you off his lap, letting you use him as support, and gently guides you to his bedroom. He makes a big, dorky show of tucking you in, making sure you're comfortable, offering to make you a glass of water. Finally, he gives you a soft smile, says a quiet goodnight, and gives you a quick kiss on the forehead. Your face immediately flushes, and you whisper a soft goodnight back as he turns to leave.

"Wait, where are you going?"

He turns around, confused.

"The couch?"

You give him a grin, suddenly a bit shy, and wordlessly lift up the covers next to you. He stares at you for a moment, still sporting that confused expression, and then suddenly it's like a lightbulb goes off in his head.

"Oh. OH! You want..?"

You giggle sleepily at how flustered he is. Just a few minutes ago you were about to rip each other's clothes off, and now he's getting stuttery about sleeping in the same bed as you.

"I hope you like to cuddle."

At that, he smiles sheepishly, and nods without a word. You watch as he changes into pjs, his boxers and an old band tshirt, and it takes all your willpower to not start anything again. After turning the lights off, he slides into bed next to you. There's a moment of hesitation, a moment where it seems like he can't quite decide what he wants to do, but then you feel him move closer to you, and suddenly, he's holding you. He nuzzles his head into the crook of your neck and you can feel his smile against your skin. He presses a tender kiss to your shoulder, and you turn to press one into his hair. You both sigh, more comfortable and safe than you've ever felt in your life.

"Goodnight, Tim."

"Goodnight."

A beat.

"I love you."

You smile.

"I love you too."

#ohhhh boy here we are #this took way longer than it should have #tim murphy #i love that dumb dino boy im so soft #rowan im sorry this took so long i love you #does anyone read the tags #if anyone ever wants to talk to me about tim pls do im emo #my writing #joe mazzello #shut up née #here's hoping no one's used that picture for a fic before lmao

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dangermousie · 4 years

Note

Hello! I recently finished My Country and I'm still dwelling on it, and was recommended to read your post about the ending! I have a few questions for you if you don't mind and I'm sorry if this gets long! I went on to read your 15 ep post as well because I really love how you write about Bangwon. It answered many of my questions that were boggling in my mind but I just want a reconfirmation for my sanity LOL

No problem and thank you :)

(cont) 1) So, did BW betray Hwi right away after he said he’d bring evidence to him because he was paranoid the information about Seo’s death would leak? Did BW fear of a no longer safe & trustworthy connection with Hwi since it was revealed what he did? Was it Hwi’s parting words saying that he’d have no one loyal to him in the end? It just didn’t make 100% sense to me because Hwi would definitely revolt back to BW, which would result in Hwi’s death and no one wanted that ((.. except Seunggye 😒))

Well, I don’t think he betrayed him right away - honestly, if after the end of ep 15, Hwi took Seon Ho and they both hightailed it for the Ming, he may well have let enough alone - he as much as told them to get the hell out asap by not having his men chase and kill them, which he easily could have done. But going for the villages isn’t really going for Hwi in Bang Won’s mind; it’s two separate things. He would have gone for the villages where Seo Geom’s loyal men lived in any event. Why? Because YSG plain text told him he was going to use Seo Geom’s former loyal men to get the generals riled up to pull Bang Won down and boil him in a cauldron or similar (I guess no presents for YSG on father’s day that year or any year.) Bang Won has to strike first before they prepare and join up and slaughter him. He wasn’t prepared to gamble on Hwi being able to talk all these people down which he may or may not have been able to do. Bang Won us ruthless in pursuit of what he thinks is right and his goals - a ruthless idealist if you will; he may pause for someone like Hwi, who he loves, but he is certainly not pausing for strangers. Honestly, at the end, when Hwi traded his life for all these people, is a huge gamble on Bang Won’s part and a show of how much he trusted/cared for Hwi, because using cold logic, he should kill the remnants of Seo Geom’s followers either way to stop future trouble. The potential for trouble is mitigated by the fact that even the most devoted to the memory of Seo Geom general is unlikely to cavil that Bang Won killed a man who came at him with a sword, but still.

2) I noticed while rewatching an earlier episode, BW tells Nam-Jeon “Remember, Seo-Geom was supposed to be the one by my father’s side”. That makes it sound like it was all BW but I believe Seunggye was strictly pulling the strings to frame him since he knew Seo would probably never go with his plans.. He obviously didn’t care about it until he wanted to get rid of Hwi & BW, and ofc, just used BW as his sword which leads me to ->

To me, the drama made it crystal clear that Seo Geom was framed on YSG’s orders, even if not explicit ones. Bang Won as much as tells SG he gets an out if he joins him and his father. It’s pretty clear that until YSG appointed that kid as his crown prince, Bang Won did not expect to have to shove YSG out of the way and was working for a new kingdom where his father would be king and Bang Won crown prince who would inherit eventually; he clearly hero worshipped his father. To me, Seo Geom was another Poeun where YSG hint hint hinted that wouldn’t it be amazing if he stopped bugging them but there were never any proper orders.

3) In the end, do you think Hwi forgave BW for what he did to his dad? I’ve seen mixed answers on this & it’s interesting to see multiple inputs. I personally feel like Hwi understood that BW was stopping anyone from taking his goal of “his country” but it makes a personal difference bc it’s his dad. If it truly was YSG pulling the strings, I’d figure Hwi knew that. This doesn’t excuse BW for taking the actions & making them into a reality but at least he owns up to the bad things he has done.

I don’t think he forgave but he understood. That is Hwi’s curse - he understands the unforgivable. That is a man who was able to love Seon Ho after all the stuff Seon Ho pulled, which would have made most people hate him forever. Honestly, I think if he lived, he’d never have served Bang Won again and would have had bitterness over all this, but he wouldn’t have come with a vendetta or really dwelt on it much.

4) In the end, with Hwi dying, was it mostly since he and SH went in swords blazing into the palace (treason) + Hwi pointing the sword at BW’s throat (treason x2) in a case where soldiers were present and witnessing it? or was it because YSG would leak out Seo’s death? A combination maybe? You can really tell that BW cared for Hwi and didn’t want him to die whatsoever, but he wouldn’t let anything jeopardize his position on the throne..

A combination. As I said, if Hwi and Seon Ho left at the end of ep 15 and kept going, they could have lived. But the moment Hwi came into the palace to attack a sitting royal, killing guards like wheat in full view of the public, Bang Won simply couldn’t have let him live. But of course Hwi was bound to come once others got attacked because that’s how he protects (Bang Won may have known it but, once again, to him he simply had to strike Seo Geom’s allies before being struck.) It’s true, killing Hwi then would spike YSG’s guns - when a man bursts in to do murder, people cease to care what the underlying reason was and assume it was OK to dispose of him (but YSG did achieve his secondary objective of wrecking BW as much as he could.) But even if YSG just died the day before, he’d still have to be killed after that attempt. In a way, when Bang Won and Hwi traded protection of those people for Hwi’s life, it wasn’t a very fair trade because Hwi was going to die either way before he left that palace. What really was traded was him not killing more people on the way to death and sort of not killing Bang Won. I say sort of, because if he killed Bang Won then and there, he’d die but his people would be safe because whoever took charge after that - Yi Seung Gye, most likely - would probably have no interest in going after Seo Geom’s followers. I think Hwi let Bang Won live not just because that would save people he cared about (because as I said, killing him would probably save them as well) but because by doing what he did was the only way to save both all those people AND have Bang Won and not his father rule and, at the end, however disillusioned Hwi was in Bang Won personally, he believed in his vision for the place (and honestly, who would be a better ruler - BW or YSG? It’s no contest.)

ANYWHO,I really think that MC is an immensely tragic, poetic, beautiful cinematic masterpiece. If you read all of this.. thank you! If you don’t end up answering these, it’s okay i understand!!! I just needed to find someone to talk/vent about it with to feel some closure 😭 I’m on to read your other posts about MC bc your insight is deeply intriguing and wonderful! You have such a way with words! Have a good week xx

I loved this ask so thank you!!! And thank you for your kind words!

#kdrama #my country

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estrxlar · 3 years

Text

The Ghost Of You

20 - You’re Finally Mine

This chapters songs:

I Follow You; Melody's Echo Chamber

Hot Rod; Dayglow

My Jinji; Sunset Rollarcoaster

- Y. L. Perspective

I let out a low groan, attempting to stretch out my arms and legs. But when I touched Koshi's, I remember that we were latched onto each other. Throughout the night, I hadn't imagined that sleeping with him would be so peaceful. His gentle hands holding me against him, the way a simple hum would run vibrations throughout his chest, and best of all: being able to look at such a lovely face to wake up to.

He pays my back gently, followed by his gentle voice. "Y/n? Are you awake?"

I open my eyes slightly to peek at him. A very bright sun ray showered his grey hair and fair skin. "Hm? Yes, I am now." Shoving my face back into his chest, I sigh. "What time is it?"

"It's ten. I'm sorry for waking you, but Isao is wondering if you want breakfast," Koshi explains briefly.

I blink a few times to refresh my mind, nodding slightly. Was his brother serious about making our food? That was something I hadn't experienced in a while. I usually made things for myself or ate leftovers for breakfast.

After Koshi dismisses his little brother, he proceeded to pat my back as if I were falling back asleep. "How did you sleep? I hope I wasn't bothering you all night," he asks me.

"Pretty good. I was very comfortable." A smile appeared on my face without any effort. I trail my fingers across his collarbone under his t-shirt, thankful that my first night with Koshi was as calming as sleeping through the rain. "What about you?"

I was hoping that I hadn't kicked him or done something embarrassing while I was asleep. The risk was a high percentage, especially since I'd spent the night mostly laying on his chest.

But Koshi didn't say much. He only gave me a very warning smile and tightened his hands upon my waist, maneuvering closer towards me. Curious yet scared of what he would do, I grew frantic, feeling my face heat up while he did so. And finally, he closed his eyes, brushing his lips against mine, before kissing me gently.

My hands rushed up to his face as my shoulders stiffened. Such a sudden action made my heart beat out of its chest, I was sure he could hear it.

Unfortunately, he ended our kiss after a few seconds, pulling away from me slightly.

"So, I'm guessing that's a yes?" I manage to let out a few words in my tired voice. Koshi nods, sitting up from his spot.

That was the first time I'd woken up in his bed while lying next to him. And boy, did I cherish that moment as if it were impossible to forget.

"Good morning, Ms. L/n," Isao chimes as Koshi and I walk into the kitchen with our zombie-like behaviors.

Nonetheless, I smile at the boy, happy to be seeing his familiar face. I was beginning to grow on him and his playful personality. I bow and greet him a good morning as well, before Koshi bumps his hip into mine, laying a hand on my back. "Y/n, you don't have to bow every time you see them." He says to me, making me shoot up to stand straight.

"Uh, sorry! I guess it's just an impulse I do to people," I explain myself, followed by Isao's sweet laughter.

"That's alright! I was just about done," he says, placing a small piece of fish onto a pile of a couple of other pieces. Next to the grill pan was some white rice and a pot of miso soup.

The smell fills my nose and I begin to build up my appetite. "Oh, okay! Would you like me to get started on some tea?" I hurry to the other side of the kitchen and attempt to search for a pot. But of course, Koshi stands there with one in his large hands, grinning at me.

"You're our guest, Ms. L/n! Please, sit." Isao carries the plate of rice and fish to the table, accompanied by a few bowls of miso soup. I hadn't been welcomed with such a normal morning breakfast in so long. Not even my friends' parents treated me like this. But mostly because we were all family to each other.

I could only hope that I didn't look too bad. I had changed into some pajama pants and a smaller shirt so I wouldn't look like a homeless man walking around such a nice house. But freshening up my hair, breath, and face could only do so much. As for Koshi, he still looked as beautiful as ever in the mornings.

I make myself comfortable in the same chair I'd say in the previous night, waiting for Koshi and Isao to join me. After they did, I said my thanks, and we began to eat our breakfast.

To my surprise, Isao wasn't half bad at making food. In fact, it was very delicious. Mostly because I hadn't had such a good breakfast meal in what felt like a million years.

"So!" Isao cleared his throat with a gulp of green tea.

"How did you love birds sleep?"

The boy clapped his hands enthusiastically. The nickname made me cringe on the inside, but I simply chuckled lightly and shrugged my shoulders. "Pretty good. You guys have such a lovely home," I comment, replied with a nod from Isao.

"Yeah, yeah. So your band; are you guys popular and all? Sorry, I know that probably isn't what you might want to talk about, but I'm interested in Koshi's new girlfriend," he says, followed by one of Koshi's passive-aggressive throat clearings.

I eye both of them, smiling awkwardly while swallowing my food. "Uhm, it's okay. We're fairly known by a few people at school and some family. Our discography is small since we mostly produce covers or requests we receive from our amount of fans."

It was obvious that Isao was very excited about having a musician in his house. I was only worried that Koshi would grow tired of talking about music. So, I take the wheel of questions and begin my mission to find out more about his family.

"What about you? Are you interested in any sports or art hobbies?" I ask, wiping my hands on one of the small towelettes he gave me earlier.

Isao nods. "Kind of! I like messing around with the drums now and then. But I mostly did a lot of volleyball back in middle school."

I hadn't thought about how old Isao might have been. Curious, I ask, "wait—how old are you? I didn't know you were in high school."

Little did I know that it wasn't something Koshi and Isao weren't up to talk about that subject, for they glanced at each other with surprised looks. "Uh...I should be starting in-person high school after the summer break. Right now, I've been doing homeschooling."

"Oh..that must be nice!" I attempt to lighten the mood a bit. "Are you excited? You get to experience a lot of new and fun things in high school. I'm positive you'll find something you like. Do you plan on going to Karasuno or...?"

"Yeah, I do. I only wish Koshi could have been a second year so we could be closer together!"

The mentioned man coughs while drinking his tea, wiping it soon after. "Uhm, don't worry. I have a couple of people who'll be looking out for you." I assumed he was talking about the volleyball team. Isao would no doubt fit in with those guys.

"You said that you're going to the states after graduation. Is that true?" The sudden question makes both Koshi and me choke on our rice. The only time that I would ever discuss the matter was with my friends. I was always afraid that talking about it in front of him would cause problems between us.

Noticing I grew uncomfortable, Koshi interrupts with yet another question. "Would you like to come with me to Y/n's concert? It's not much of a concert...more of a competition for bands. But if it's okay with her, I could take you with me. I know we'd both love to see her perform live, right?"

Isao practically jumps at the statement. "Wow—really?! Of course! Can we go, Ms. L/n?" He looks at me with big puppy eyes in excitement. How could I have said no?

Proud, I nod to the boy. "Sure thing. But you've gotta be careful in the crowds. There will be lots of people there."

The rest of breakfast was used as a way for Isao and I to get to know each other. Though they came from the same mother and father, Koshi and he were two very different people. It could have been that they got different types of acknowledgment from their parents, or they coped with their mother in different ways. He sure seemed like a rowdy boy. Very charismatic, curious, and a top-notch smart ass.

Koshi and I helped tidy up the kitchen, he notified us he would be going over to a friend's house. I was only to assume that this friend was like family to him, for Koshi dismissed him as if it were nothing. After that, we decided to begin getting ready for the training camp.

A/n: If you come across messages from the guys that sound cringe it's only because I'm trying to make them sound realistic aka what they would actually text like😭

Crow crew

Daichi

Hope everyone is heading to the gym soon

Let's try not to give Takeda a hard time this weekend. He's been treating us very kindly these past few weeks.

Tanaka

Yeah man he got us a really cool new manager

haha thanks

Asahi

Who's ####

Tanaka

I just said

Really cool new manager

Aka Sugas gf

Koshi

Istg

Noya

R u serious my brother😕

So you just take every girl you see now

Asahi

Suga didn't tell me that:0

Koshi

The way we haven't even been together for 24 hours and you somehow managed to figure it out

Tanaka

WAIT IT IS TRUE-

Daichi

This is literally supposed to be a group

chat meant for volleyball only

Leave Koshi's personal life alone and mind your own business guys

Noya

Don't be so uptight 🗣

Y/n I thought you liked me 💔

What about all that stuff you told me under the cherry blossom tree

Daichi

Noya oh my god

Asahi

Wow, this escalated!!

Daichi

Where are you guys, heading to the school hopefully?

Koshi

Y/n and I just left the house

Is Kiyoko there yet guys

Kiyoko

Almost :))

Meet me in the girl's locker room

Noya

HOW THE FUCK DID YOU DO THAT

Tanaka

What lmao

Tanaka

YOU SUMMONED HER

Noya

YEAH SHOW US YOUR WAYS DARK LORD

Bc I'm god( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Ennoshita

Hey everyone

At the gym👌🏻

Yamaguchi

Good afternoon!!🌞

THE EMOJI WXBISJS

Yamaguchi

SHSHSHS

Tsukishima

it's gay

Noya

You're gay

Tsukishima

Wtf lmao no I'm not shut up

Tanaka

You've triggered something

Daichi

Stop it guys

Hinata

OMG I WOKE UP LATE

Koshi

Uhh

Try to get to the gym fast

Asahi

Hey you shouldn't text and drive

Tanaka

Especially when you got your girl in the passenger seat🤨

Koshi

Don't worry guys it's me

[image of you and Koshi in the car]

Kageyama

who's dirivng

Yamaguchi

Driving* and Koshi is obviously driving in the picture🙄

Kageyama

Im talk shout the training camp

Daichi

Takeda, he's taking his van like always

Hinata

CAN WE BRING SNACKS PLEASE???

Daichi

Yes but not to eat in the car bc I don't wanna cause Takeda any issues with having to clean it

###-###-####

That's fine with me!! Hinata can bring snacks( ◠‿◠ )

Is that Takeda Senseis number

Tanaka

Yes

Koshi

Pls try not to make a big deal of Y/n and I

Noya

Why wouldn't we💀

it's not even that huge + I'm sure you guys don't care that much

Tsukishima

Yeah I don't

Tanaka

Cmon noya that's one of kiyokos best friends we can't be mean😥

Noya

SHEEESH alr see you guys soon

—

- K. S. Perspective

"...are you telling me that she's coming with us?" I look at Daichi with a very serious face, afraid of what he would respond with.

I thought it was flattering that Eclair wanted to spend her afternoons at volleyball practice with the team. But was it appropriate to have her come with us to the weekend training camp?

Daichi sighed. "Well, she did ask Takeda and I beforehand and we didn't have it in us to tell her no. Besides, she is a big help to us. She's been doing a lot more than talk to the second years as of recently. Don't you think you're worrying too much about it? I'm sure she won't make a move on you again, especially now that you've got a girlfriend."

"She doesn't know that, dammit." I cross my arms and sink into my seat. I knew that she wouldn't take the news lightly when she found out. If I were lucky, she would last her entire stay in Japan without knowing.

He sighs again, adjusting himself in the seat. "Koushi, just fall asleep. We'll be there in only an hour."

It didn't hurt me that Daichi didn't want to talk about Eclair. She was draining, after all. I prayed that she wouldn't be causing issues during this weekend. The last thing I needed was another inconvenience.

Instead of sitting with Kiyoko the way she usually did, she had to sit alone. Eclair insisted she take her spot next to Kiyoko, but Y/n didn't want to make a big deal of it.

As the bus began driving off into the evening, I look over to the girl, observing her tired eyes as they wander over the valleys outside. Did she mind being alone? I wasn't sure. All I knew was that I wanted more than anything to sneak over to her seat when no one was looking. To have her head rest nicely on my shoulder.

'Would anyone even notice if I were gone?' I think to myself, checking if my best friend was still awake. Sure enough, he was dozing off against the window, giving me an open spot to sneak up next to her.

Careful not to be noticed by Takeda or any other volleyball members, I crouch over to the seat in front of mine. Y/n looks over in a flash, taking both her earphones out. "Kou, what are you doing? Are you allowed to sit next to me?" She whispers to me before the two of us lock eyes.

"I have no clue, but you look tired," I say to her as she closes her eyes and smiles gently. The orange-colored sunlight showered down on her beautiful features, making my heart melt right there in the moment. Desperate to feel her, I bump her head with my shoulder, offering her a personal pillow. She happily accepts and fits right between my left collar bone, making me beam with joy. I pay close attention to her small flinch when I began to ever so gently squeeze her thigh lovingly. Dear Y/n was finally all mine and no one else's, finally. Of course, I knew she belonged to herself and had personal boundaries that I wouldn't dare cross. She was an independent and reluctant girl after all. But my girl. One I would love forever and ever.

Yes I still added fluff at the end what abt it😾

Ily pls note and comment I read every single comment you guys give me and it makes me seriously so happy

- estrxlar

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