don't they know / it's the end of the world? / it ended when you said goodbye

okay so after Tales of the Jedi we're getting Tales of the Empire and on a complete non-squitur, in TBB episode 3x10 Hemlock says the other operatives aren't ready yet, which means there're more clone assassins in the making my bet is still on clone x (or the current assassin clone or whatever you call him) being Tech, because him being Cody just wouldn't be the same, it wouldn't be as emotionally devastating for Omega and the Bad Batch as the clone being Tech would be and I saw a theory that maybe Cody is one of the other operatives whose brainwashing just isn't done yet instead so hear me out, hear me out after Tales of the Empire, we could get Tales of the Clones, right? and in Tales of the Clones we could get the story of what happened to Cody, that maybe Cody tried to escape the Empire in TBB 2x03, but he was caught and sent to Hemlock's sick assassin clone program, but the badass he is he's resisting the brainwashing and he maybe escapes??? MAYBE WE COULD GET THAT STORY OR SOMETHING??? WHERE HE ENDS UP ON TATOOINE LIKE HE WAS SUPPOSED TO IN THE OG KENOBI SHOW SCRIPT???? I'D BE SO UP FOR IT OKAY???

YOU. hello i hope you are having a good day! any thoughts on evangelion to share?

AH Hi~ Thank you, I hope you're having a good day too! ❤️

...

:)

You're asking if I have any thoughts on the piece of media I've been obsessing over for the past two months?? My brain consists of 5% half coherent thoughts and 95% Evangelion hyperfixation!

(Do not expect me to be coherent here, I had to cut out stuff to try keeping this relatively short, I don't think I succeeded pdphfjf If you want more specific thoughts from me you're gonna have to be a little more specific when you ask XD)

I'm so happy I even gave it a try! I hadn't heard anything about it from friends or family, I just looked into it on my own accord which is VERY rare for me!

I do have Shin Godzilla to thank, I only heard anything about Eva through the Shin Godzilla soundtrack that features themes from Eva. (Hideaki Anno got Shiro Sagisu to score it so they did the only logical thing by bringing Eva into it✨)

I'm sad I didn't watch it earlier but I also think it appeared at a perfect time in my life. My mid 20s is being wonderfully fed and inspired by this beautiful, weird and horrifying anime~

Actually, going back to the music real quick! I have an 'Eva favs' playlist that's currently 4 hours long. I'm normal about the music. :)

I love the music so much, aaaa gosh it's got SO MANY GREAT THEMES! There's incredible battle music and wonderful calm and dramatic themes that are all so grand, and there's some truly haunting and disturbing tracks in there too, just ARGH I love it!!

Also, I can't keep track of how many times I listen to Cruel Angel's Thesis in a day anymore..

I'm thriving in my hyperfixation, I gotta enjoy it while I'm in it~

“None of you seem like bad people at all.” “While that’s very kind and slightly idealistic of you to say, I doubt the concern is whether or not you would be ‘scared off’,” Donatello had replied just as Raph opened his mouth, rolling his eyes and leaning back on the couch he had been hogging ever since dinner finished up. “Rather, the lack of strong information is more to keep you out of any potential ‘trouble’ that might arise from becoming too involved. Be reassured that our business is completely moral and legal… most of the time.” You had opened your mouth to ask more about that last part, but a slight shake of the head from April- after giving Donnie a light reprimanding smack on the shoulder- had you changing the subject without further questioning. After a while, the topic was all but forgotten, shoved aside to play an old board game instead; and trying your best to ignore the random elbow nudging and wiggled eyebrows Raphael’s brothers kept throwing his way for no discernible reason after he had decided to sit down beside you.  Surely, you weren’t that obvious about your feelings towards him… were you?

in other words me, randomly updating after like a month of self-isolation and chaos:

*screams*

One thing about canto VI is like. I see so many people predicting it'll be about Fighting Evil Wife or Breaking Codependent Toxic Relationship and I just kinda think that would suck? If the major theme isn't grief AND love and the way both are seen as like Kinda Weird/inappropriate in the setting of the city. Then I'll be very sad.

my method of "getting better" has just been Do Everything Possible and latch onto whatever gives you any sense of purpose and/or joy. and i guess it's been working because i am definitely not in quite the same place that i was a few yrs ago

What if I just developed social skills to be able to actually make new friends in person and then used those skills to get a new phone number and pack my bags and run away to a place where no one knows me and all my past mistakes and fuckups and started over there without going into social isolation

I wish I could tell my 9-year old self that no, growing up and getting excited about "boring" things like kitchen appliances isn't sad, because contrary to what people would have you think it DOESN'T tend to totally change who you are as a person and replace everything else you love - they add to what makes you happy, they don't replace a damned thing, and the excitement is VERY genuine

But since I can't do that I'll just put it out here for any younger people who need it

You grow to love "boring" things because they improve your life, not because it's the only thing you're "allowed" to get excited about once you reach a certain age

Also! That stage in life has nothing to do with numerical age; you can fall in love with something "boring" at any time and it feels exactly the same! Loving the new kitchen appliance as an adult is no different from loving the Easy-Bake oven or the first thing you learned to make your own recipes with as a kid! It's not "turning into your parents" (scary), it's bringing out new joy in YOU! It's fucking awesome!

Did my first Mask playthrough with the update- it's satisfying. That's the best way to put it! You can do so much, unlock locations item, and dip your fingers in so many pies... it feels fuller! It feels more like the history, of London.

Like, of COURSE my PC, Miss Robin would set out to marry Griz, and be swayed by Milton. Of COURSE she would meet a certain Entrepreneur with Tentacles with a different name, and fail to set up his business quite yet, but instead broker a future for the Rubbery Men in London. Of course she would turn to the plan with Parliment, when the murder investigation seems to be going nowhere. Of course she'd write a manifesto against the Masters, and yet still see Pages as a brother, just in the way she does Archie. Of course the ceiling would open, and the sun would kill many.

It's delightful. It's wonderful. It's weird and it's amazing. I adore it, now.

Not to say one can't consume media they don't 100% agree with (I do the same so like), but you talk a lot about how the core views of TPN vs BSD change your entire way of enjoying these two, and I was wondering what drew you in into BSD if there are so many aspects of it you disagree with?

(Not meant as an attack or as a questioning of you enjoying it, I always am interested in your analysis so this is just out of curiosity, and also I am planning to pick up TPN again sometime this year)

Shadowheart wanted to make out with Tav so I think the wedding is back on!

a handful of chinese songs that give me big robit energy

translating cpop songs is like my second favourite hobby so it's frankly surprising I haven't made this post sooner

Him - Floruitshow (马 - 福禄寿)

I've talked about this song on here before but this is the 3.7 song for me

the second chorus is definitely MR-SN but i like to think of the first chorus (Let me take a good look at your visage as we count down the time till the curtains’ close. Forgive me for holding back my voice so soon, do you know, in your graceful escape, all I see around me is disaster?) as VR-LA during the flashback sequence

specifically 'all I see around me is disaster' because yeah not wrong

'This time I’m not here to bring you home' just kills me like the please please take care of yourself because I can't be there with you anymore of it all

'Oh spring, oh warm sun, please come sooner, grant him a smooth and safe journey' same point, just the desperate plea for the universe to protect VR-LA because he can't do it himself anymore

How can I make you stay - Floruitshow (我用什么把你留住 - 福禄寿)

(conveniently I have actually done a full translation of this song!)

definitely one of the Maxim songs of all time

"You’ve believed that you can let your life pass in numbness, but [...] why do your tears fall in the moment of letting go?' YEAH because we've seen so many times how Maxim keeps trying to convince himself that he can stop just caring but it never works

'You say don’t fall in love, yet you’re unwilling to let go' same point, this man is in such denial about how he just can't stop caring

specifically the second verse feels a lot like Maxim waiting for VR-LA to return from Tu'narath

'You stay silent, holding onto starlight as you wait through your darkest hour. Your mind is struck, when familiar murmurs pierce your ears once more' aaaAAAAHH

the bridge (?) as a conversation between VR-LA and Maxim, VR-LA inviting Maxim to see the beauty and wonders of the world ('Do you want to see the sea of flowers blooming?', very 4.5 wedding invite honestly) but Maxim's trauma just would not allow him to take that risk ('If none of them come back, then who should I live for?')

fun fact the second version of the bridge in my translation ('You must stay to see the flowers bloom' onwards) is exclusive to that live performance of the song so it's not in the spotify version i linked here. as for which version you think fits Maxim more.. well.

Borrow - Mao Buyi (借 - 毛不易)

finally banging out a translation for this song was kinda the inspiration for me to make this post actually

the tldr of this song is that it's an unnamed/unidentified speaker asking to borrow various small things for the sake of somebody else (like 'an inch of frozen sunlight' to provide warmth in a cold world) so you can probably see where i'm going with this

'A simple ‘we have plenty of time’ etched into the soul to prepare for the chance of forced separation' ouch ow okay

'Those blown apart by these winds will say that they never loved deeply' / 'There is a sincerity that cannot be blown apart by this wind' DX-TR betraying the old crew vs VR-LA fighting through so much just to get them back

'There are tears that cannot be washed away by this rain' this line just haunts me. like in general

'An acre of land for him to call home, an ordinary life for him to live' as MR-SN watching over the old crew like I can't be there for you but I hope you will find peace and a home...

stayed up til 3 when I have an 8am again. I do this because I hate myself so sos sososososososososo much. It's really funny because I don;t fall asleep in class thanks to my meds but I've noticed every time I go to class after 4 hrs sleep people act weird around me which is how I know im acting really weird. And I am so extremely angry at myself. I spent 4 hours. well 8 hours. Well all day. Pretending I'm going to do homework and distracting myself with various other things on my laptop or crying on the phone to my parents. Got zerooooo work done at all i stayed up most of the nihght for literally no gain whatsoever this is pure self harm. Which I do becauase again I hate myself. Because I didn't do my work. Which i won't do tomorrow either because i'll be so tired I wont be able to string a sentence together even though I'm supposed to give a presentation haha. My favorite activity is staring at the clock on my laptop getting later and later and later. new high score etc. Who's a hypersomniac now. Imagine how much easier this semester would have been if I'd gone to bed before 2am ever. I'm so fucking angry at myself I'm not sure I'll be able to sleep now even. If I fail my classes again my parents are gonna make me live at home forever and say im too crazy to live on my own. I know I was supposed to get a therapist but I hate them all so, so, so much. I think people get that job bc they feel powerful telling some pathetic person what to do knowing I literally cannot do it and will come back week after week admittingn failure and paying

I know I was supposed to take the new experimental FDA approved drug for IH but the list of side effects is fucking terrifying and I live and sleep alone so i really don't want to take a super powerful sedative that can make you stop breathing. So I'm gonna keep taking stimualnts and lying to myself that today is the last day I stay up extremely late for no reason.

I decided because I love suffering that everyone gets their own halter.

the Real question is are we normal style bleeding or Get Help style bleeding