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hauntedestheart · 7 months

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Transcript: "You Know The Face" Episode 47 - Blaise Gigson

Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction and resemblance to any real life persons is completely intentional, lol, but to spare the virgin eyes of the search algorithm I changed the name.

[Theme tune plays]

Arsenio: Hey there listeners, welcome back to "You Know The Face," the best podcast out there devoted to discussing the great changes that The Great Shift brought about.

Arsenio: As always, I'm your host Arsenio Braxton, still here and still me, and for this episode I'm by a very special guest- you might know the face, Blaise Gigson is here in the studio! Hi Blaise, welcome to the pod.

Blaise: Hey Arsenio! Thanks having me, I'm a huge fan of the show. This podcast is like, the soundtrack to my morning runs.

Arsenio: Oh my god, dude, I'm blushing! You've been one of our most requested guests for a while now so it's such a pleasure to finally have you here in the studio with us. And I want to let the listeners at home know, this guy is even bigger in person.

Blaise: Okay, now you're making me blush. I'll admit it, I always do fifty pushups before getting on camera just to make sure I look my best- does that make me sound weird?

Arsenio: I mean, it's healthier than my pre-show ritual, which is just a Red Bull and a shot of vodka. Now I'm gonna be calling you Blaise, but that wasn't the name you were born with, right?

Blaise: Yup, just like most people I was shifted into this body.

Arsenio: BUT, unlike most people, after the shift you decided to adopt the name of the original owner of that body. What inspired you to make that choice?

Blaise: Well I flipped a coin and- nah, I'm just joking. How do I explain this... the shift changed everything, you know? Not just our bodies, but the whole world. I don't really think that any of us are who we used to be, even the people who didn't shift, so taking on a new name just felt natural. Plus I think I'm kind of a special case since I swapped into a celebrity- I get recognized all the time, every day people come up to me on the street and call me "Blaise," so I figured I might as well just embrace that.

Arsenio: Oh that's true, I never thought of it like that. See, that's what I love about doing this show- getting all of these different perspectives. A lot of the people I talk to on this pod mention that they try stay connected to who they were before the shift, but it sounds like you're just full steam ahead. You very famously don't like to talk about who you were before at all, is that right?

Blaise: Nah, not really. A lot of people think that means I was a criminal or something and I'd like to say for the record that I was not, but I don't like to sweat the small things like who I used to be. I'm just focused on who I am today! And I think I make a pretty good Blaise Gigson, don't you?

Arsenio: Absolutely, man, you're crushing it. But I gotta ask, has the real Blaise Gigson tried to get in contact with you?"

Blaise: Try, like, eight Blaise Gigsons. That's the thing about swapping with a celebrity- there's a lot of creeps out there who were obsessed with you that think about this as their chance to get in on the action. Since it was impossible to figure out who was telling the truth, I had to just block all of them. For safety reasons.

Arsenio: Oh, so you don't talk to any of them? But aren't you worried you might be shutting out the real Blaise?

Blaise: Well, wherever he is he can rest easy knowing that I'm taking good care of his body. If you're out there watching Blaise, this one's for you!

Arsenio: Oh, and there it is! The famous bicep. Would you mind doing it again, just for me?

Blaise: Mind? I'd love to, these things are awesome.

Arsenio: No arguments here... actually, let's pivot and talk about that for a second. Now, we all knew that Blaise Gigson was a hottie with a body, but you've sexed up his image a lot since assuming the reigns. I'm sure most of our listeners have probably seen a certain viral video-

Blaise: The workout stream, yeah.

Arsenio: Dude. you broke the internet with that one! Seeing you all hot and sweaty, flexing all those muscles on the floor... pretty iconic if you ask me. Can one of the producers insert the clip here?

Arsenio: Damn daddy! Sorry, I shouldn't be thirsting over you while you're right here in front of me, they're gonna have to edit this part out or else before get cancelled haha.

Blaise: Nah, don't sweat it man. Trust me, no one gets it more than I do- you think looking at this body is great? Try living in it. Like, I'll admit it, I get turned on watching those clips too. I look fucking hot there.

Arsenio: So I think it's safe to say the "himboification" of the Blaise Gigson brand was a conscious decision on your part?

Blaise: Honestly? A little bit yes, a little bit no. I mean, it wasn't something I planned on when I first got this body, it just kind of happened. Like one day I just woke up and I was a famous hunk... of course I was gonna get a little wild, right? I couldn't resist showing off a bit. At first I was worried that I was going a bit overboard but people have really been responding to it.

Arsenio: Yeah I'm sure there are a lot of people out there who "responded" to that video, if you catch my drift.

Blaise: I hope so! I mean, think about it. When I was just a nobody sitting at home I would have killed to see my celebrity crushes take their clothes off and just, I don't know, start slutting it up. And so now that I am one of those guys I used to dream about, I wanna make that fantasy a reality for everybody else.

Blaise: Like, come on, don't the people deserve to see all of this?

Arsenio: I completely agree. Actually, could we see a little bit more, for the camera? Or even just for me?

Blaise: Haha, maybe later.

Arsenio: Alright, I'm gonna hold you to that. But we should probably get moving or else this episode is gonna wind up being four hours, haha. As the listeners know, I started this podcast because I was one of the few people not affected by The Great Shift, so I'm always fascinated by the stories of people who were. Let's get yours Blaise- can you walk us through your shift experience? What was it like for you that first morning?

Blaise: The thing I'll always remember about waking up was the weight. Being in a body like this one that's built like a tank, that's a lot of muscle, and muscle is one of the heaviest things in the body. I knew something was different before I even opened my eyes because I could feel how much space I was occupying. And that kinda freaked me out!

Blaise: But all of that weight is actually strength, and the second I started moving I knew that whatever had happened to me was a good thing.

Blaise: I'll never forget this- the first thing I saw when I opened my eyes and looked down was this giant chest blocking my view. I was so confused I tried like, wipe them off because I thought they were something stuck to me, but nope! I just had massive pecs all of the sudden. And then I got distracted just, like, squeezing them.

Arsenio: That's so funny- I hear that exact same story all the time, but from shifted women. I think you're the first guy to have the classic "boob grab" experience, haha!

Blaise: Hey, it's a classic for a reason! I say when you've got tits like these, you give 'em a squeeze. But I realized pretty quickly that there was a whole body underneath my chest, and that... woof. I was actually confused at first because I'd never touched a six-pack before so I was like "what the fuck is going on with my stomach" when I first felt it- I wasn't used to my body being so hard.

Blaise: The new core strength was incredible too- like, just sitting up felt better than it ever had before. And when I sat up and the blankets slid off of me and I saw my new body for the first time, I was shocked. I'd never seen someone with that many muscles in my life, and suddenly I had the best seat in the house. And by "best seat," I mean I had a dump truck ass.

Arsenio: Sounds like you were in bed for a minute then.

Blaise: A minute? Try two hours. I was alone with the body of my dreams and I could do anything with it, so I- well, you can probably guess what I did next.

Arsenio: I bet I can and I would love to hear about it, maybe even see a demonstration, but I think we should move on before we get demonetized. When you finally got out of bed, did you recognize yourself when you looked in the mirror?

Blaise: Recognize myself? Dude, I basically creamed myself. Blaise was one of my biggest celebrity crushes and seeing that face staring back at me from the mirror... just, words can't even describe it. Having all of this body and the face to match? The beard? This jawline? These lips? I'm handsome as fuck.

Arsenio: Dude, I'm so jealous right now you have no idea. So you weren't scared that you'd woken up in a completely new body?

Blaise: I mean, I was confused, but I thought it was just me, you know? I thought it was some kind of Freaky Friday situation and I'd just been zapped into this body so like, he could learn a lesson about the meaning of Christmas or something. I didn't learn about the shift until later.

Arsenio: And then did you freak?

Blaise: Nah. I feel selfish when I say that because I know how scared so many people are, and I feel for them I really do, but I was excited. I wasn't really thinking about anybody else, I was just excited to be Blaise.

Arsenio: And so we're heading on over a year since the shift- how are you settling in to your new body? It's quite an impressive physique and you've maintained it well.

Blaise: Thanks- keeping up with the gym routine was definitely one of my top priorities. Letting a body like this go to waste would have been a tragedy.

Blaise: But to answer your question, I'm still not entirely used to this body yet, and honestly, I hope I never am. It's fun always feeling surprised, you know? I'll just be going about my day and then I'll catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror and remember that holy shit, I'm a fucking stud, and I get excited all over again. It hits me at the strangest times.

Blaise: Muscles are cool because they're like... they're always there, you know? I get a little show every time I look down. And the thing about it is- I'm not bragging, this is just a fact -I'm so ripped now that a bit of bulging is inescapable. People are always saying that I'm a tease but half the time I don't even realize that I'm doing it, it's just a side effect of existing while being this hot.

Arsenio: Damn, and here I thought you were doing this especially for me. Well, it's nice to see that fame hasn't gone to your head!

Blaise: Haha, I mean, when the head looks this good, I can afford it!

Arsenio: I can't argue with that, that is one big beautiful head you've got there. Blaise really is just a stunning man.

Blaise: Aren't I? It's great. I was kinda nervous when I started being active on Blaise's accounts because at first I felt like I was impostor or something like that, but I knew I had to keep posting because people deserved to see this face. I get a lot of hate comments from people saying "you shouldn't be doing this" and stuff like that, but I block them out and focus on the positive ones. There's a lot more of those anyways.

Blaise: It sounds shallow but like, as a hot guy, I hold a lot of power. I've been on the other side of the screen, looking through it at those gorgeous faces, so I'm very aware what an important escape a bit of thirst content can be. Now that I have this face, this body, I can make so many people happy just by taking some clothes off and posting a picture. Why wouldn't I want to do that?

Blaise: That's why the content shifted. Less comedy videos, more thirst, workout videos, photoshoots- the stuff people really wanted to see all along. I love sharing the gift of this body with the world.

Blaise: I don't take anything for granted anymore, I live my life to the fullest, and I want to invite all of my followers into that. Especially after everything the world has been through since the shift, I want people to be able to open up their phone, see this sexy smile, and know that it's possible to still be happy. That there's still beauty in the world.

Arsenio: Oh my god, Blaise, I didn't expect us to be getting so deep on this episode.

Blaise: Hey, I'm more than just a pretty face... I've got a great ass too.

Arsenio: That you do, Blaise, that you do. So, Blaise, let's lighten the mood a bit and jump to one of our listener's favorite sections- and if you've listened to the show before you know what I'm going to ask you next. What's your favorite part of being in your new body?

Blaise: My favorite part? I'll give you two guesses.

Blaise: I love being a walking, talking gun show. Like I look down and I just think wow, I get to own these arms.

Arsenio: Yeah those are some killer pipes man.

Blaise: Dude you have no idea, I'm so fucking strong now. I'm still not over how like... round they are? It's like someone shoved a football under my skin, they tear my shirts if I'm not careful. I'm never gonna get tired of watching them flex.

Blaise: Every part of this body is great actually but I wanna give a special shoutout to my thighs actually- I'm thicker than a bowl of oatmeal. I just love having some meat on these bones, you know? I never skip a leg day.

Arsenio: Oh trust me, I can tell. And Blaise, you know I gotta ask because it's the question everyone's dying to know the answer to... how big is it?

Blaise: I'm gonna have to plead the fifth on that one actually- I'm currently in talks with a few different studios that have some ideas about how we can unveil that particular part of my new brand. But... let's just say that Blaise was a big boy, and he didn't disappoint. It's hard for me to make it through the day without fondling myself all the time, pun very much intended.

Blaise: This is so embarrassing but I actually had trouble pissing when I first got this body because every time I whipped my dick out to piss I'd get a boner from the sight of it- it's a grower, I'll tell you that much.

Arsenio: Damn, well, there you have it listeners! An exclusive!

Blaise: Oh god, I can just hear my publicist in my head screaming at me right now. Can you edit that out?

Arsenio: No, no, we are definitely leaving that in! This is the kind of content the people want to hear.

Blaise: Haha, well, I'm always happy to give the people what they want. But yeah, if you're really curious about what little Blaise looks like, keep an eye on my socials. Big things on the horizon... very big.

Arsenio: We'll be sure to put links to your accounts in the episode description. Moving on, I feel like I know the answer but here's one that we ask everybody: if you could switch back to your old body, would you?

Blaise: ...Sorry, what? I got distracted for a second.

Arsenio: Yeah, that's what I thought. Anyways, Blaise, you know what's more exciting than waking up to find yourself in the body of a famous hunk? Today's sponsor, Squarespace...

#male body swap #the great shift #this is dumb and kind of meta but I managed to finish it #so that's an accomplishment at least #I think thegreatstoryteller did a story with a similar concept a long time ago so shoutout to him

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liesmyth · 3 months

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did john decide which of his friends would be the necromancer and which would be the cavs when he brought them back from the dead, or was that random?

I wish we knew for sure! John's friends ending up 50/50 adepts vs. non-necromancers is obviously one of TM's premises and was done for doylistic reasons first and foremost, but I don't think we have enough elements to conclusively interpret it as intentional in-universe.

Putting aside any kind of authorial intentions, this is what we know:

» The rate of necromancers as part of the population hovers around 30%. John's core group being 50% adepts is way off from that, and could point to manipulation, but also we're working with a very small sample size. Think about how it's very possible to get head five times in a row when flipping coins; probabilities are much less accurate on a smaller scale. I don't believe it's out of the realm of possibilities that a group of 10 people had exactly 5 necromancers in it.

» Harrow's birth. The Reverend Parents made sure she would be a necromancer by manipulating the embryo with thanergy. It's clearly not a known practice among the Houses at large, and John calls it "a sort of Resurrection" — implying that he could be able to do the same with thalergy. However, this doesn't confirm that he actually DID.

In the same conversation, John says, "This was all different before we discovered the scientific principles," which I think is also worth noting. The fact that he understands NOW how you could get an embryo to grow into a necromancer doesn't mean that he had that knowledge at the time of the Resurrection. It also doesn't mean that the same identical process would apply to making formerly-dead-people into necromancers as they got brought back to life.

It could very well be that necromancy was a generalised side-effect of the Resurrection that affected some people more than others; or it could be that John DID do something different when bringing back some people that conferred them necromantic aptitude. Even if it's the latter, I don't think we can take for granted that 1) it was intentional and 2) he fully knew what the side effects would be.

» Ulysses and Titania. Counterpoint! It's also worth noting that John's "test cases" turned out to be one (1) adept and one (1) non-adept. Like I said above, this could still be a random bi-product of the Resurrection... but given Ulysses and Titania's whole everything, their dichotomy reeks of control group. They are a big point in favour of the "John did it on purpose" column.

Still: I still don't think we can tell for sure that John knew from the moment of Resurrection that he was giving some people death powers, and how that'd turn out in the long run. Like I said above, he could have done something different when resurrecting Ulysses vs. Titania, but it doesn't mean that he knew what would happen.

(Obviously, this argument only makes sense if we assume that Ulysses and Titania were among the very first batch of resurrected. I personally think they were, but obviously it's not confirmed)

» The inner circle. From NtN

I could only trust the inner circle. My scientists, my engineer, my detective, my lawyer, my artist, my nun, my hedge fund manager. My diehards. The ones keeping the lights on.

Putting aside the fact that Lyctors exist the way they are because Tamsyn needed them to exist, and looking at the Canaan House necro/cav pairings from John's point of view: why not give ALL his friends magical powers? That's something I struggle to wrap my head around, for about half a dozen different reasons.

Mind, I don't think John picking and choosing who gets to be a necromancer is that far-fetched, but from a #character point I find it less likely than the alternative (he didn't do it on purpose but turned it to his own advantage). IF it turns out to be canon, I'd be really curious about what the watsonian reasoning for it, beyond "this needed to happen."

Most meta posts I've seen that take for granted John picked and chose his future necromancers ascribe him a level of foresight, knowledge, and long-term planning that I simply don't think he'd have had at the time (not to mention the mental lucidity). To quote HtN John again, "[he] had never been God" before. I truly think he was winging it at least 60% of the time.

#Anonymous #ask #tldr: I think it's possible this is the angle Taz is going with but I don't think it's a given with the elements we have so far #I think if it turns out to HAVE been intentional on John's part #it's gonna be one of these plot points that exists because the book needed them to exist and everything else took shape around it #like how everyone on the Ninth stopped making babies after Harrow was born although there was a whole generation of childbearing age #tlt thoughts #tlt theories #ejg #elle tlt posting #tlt

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cookierunauprompts · 3 months

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Hello! I've been following this blog for a while now (found it at Prompt #7 first) and I was wondering if you would be interested in making a continuation of Prompt #7 with an idea of mine?

The idea is kinda simple tbh: Once Pure Vanilla convinces Hero!Shadow Milk to escape, broski is elapsing after free-falling for so long and probably falls ill and has to recuperate. Reader takes care of them, fluff and/or angst (Hero!Shadow Milk probably has a hard time sleeping considering the amount of time he's been in the darkness) ensues.

Ooooh, sure! Since you didn't mention a which timeline this prompt falls into (reader is an ancient ancient or Reader is just reader) i flipped a coin to decide. The results, tails, were for non-ancient reader but I will make an alternative prompt if you want

Requested Prompts #21 - 💓💔

" Why are you still letting me stay here?" You turned to face your new-ish roommate. " What do you mean?" You said, tilting your head with slight confusion. Your roommate sighed, staring down into his Jellybean Latte( that you had delivered, he refuses and pretty much can't leave the house after all.) almost dejectedly. " Ah, you blame yourself for all the atrocities he committed. Don't you, blu'?" You asked, letting him respond on his own time. He slowly nodded his head as you looked at him with sympathy. " I know that it technically wasn't me that did everything that he did but..." He paused, just to take a sip of his latte. " I'm still apart of the reason he exists, I created him... And I'm a part of him." You frowned, watching as his hands began to shiver slightly. " Who knows what he could be doing now that I'm not holding him back?-" You make sure that his cup is set down before you gently hold his hands. " Hey, it'll be okay. I'm sure that Pure Vanilla and the others have it under control, if they didn't, then I'd tell you." You reassured him, letting him take a deep breath before continuing. " And, why wouldn't I let you stay with me? You're still injured from... well, everything that's happened." For just a moment, you look at the shadow stained cracks in his dough. But you quickly look back into his eyes afterwards. He sighs. " You..." He trails off, keeping what he wanted to say to himself. It seems he decides on something else to say, probably a question to distract himself for a moment. " Why do you call me Blu' anyways?" He asks, looking back up at your eyes. You giggled for a moment, " Because you smell like blueberries, so it's the first thing that came to mind." And then, he smiles. It's a rather soft, gentle one, not like the maniac grin you've seen on his other half but a more genuine, appreciative one. But there's a certain melancholy behind that smile, you don't know it's source but it's there, you can tell.

#cookie run #cookie run kingdom #cookie run au #crk #shadow milk cookie #cookie run au prompts #cr kingdom #beast yeast #shadow milk cookie x reader #cookie run x reader #hehe i love angst :3 #but also hurt/comfort

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y-rhywbeth2 · 4 months

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Lore: Elven Culture #1

(An incomplete compilation.) Link: Disclaimer regarding D&D "canon" & Index [tldr: D&D lore is a giant conflicting mess and it's borderline impossible to cover everything. Larian's lore is also a conflicting mess. You learn to take what you want and leave the rest]

--- How to flip somebody off in elven culture. Random elven pan-cultural highlights ranging from marital traditions to poker.

Key elven philosophical concepts that inform their entire cultures. Farming, architecture, opinions on undeath, stages of life (Astarion's 200 years too old to be acting like an ardavanshee, but there we go)

Default elven society, including the family units (Clans and Houses), nobility, and the absolute monarchies with the divine right of kings that're tasked with herding cats.

Forewarning, this is a long post! And I still cut stuff... I was going to include the specifics of the seven individual surface elven cultures, but it was getting too damn long.

---

Random little things before we get into the wordy stuff:

The equivalent to giving somebody the finger amongst elves is to crook the middle finger inwards towards oneself and then bring it upwards in a diagonal movement across the body. For the greatest show of insolence, the elf in question may then hold eye contact and slowly lick the tip of that finger. I have no context for how this come to be, or why it's insulting, but I'm sure it's quite the story.

Elves rarely make their piercings out of metal, instead preferring to craft them from the bone of their ancestors and departed loved ones.

The elven term for their own people is Tel'Quessir ("of the people," or simply "the people). The name refers to the fact that all elves are inherently spiritually linked to each other, the Seldarine and the Weave. They are capable of a form of low-level telepathy where they can share emotions, surface level thoughts and reverie with each other. As a result, non-elves who are not part of this interconnected whole are N'Tel'Quessir or N'Quess - "not of the people."

The elven spirit, or soul, is referred to as ues. The ability for elves to link their minds and share feelings and thoughts is a state referred to as "communion."

The elven term for "stick-in-the-mud" is irrquarlan - which I'd imagine is often used by moon and copper elves to refer to sun elves.

When an issue is considered to be "black and white" - as in a choice lacking any moral ambiguity, where one is wrong and the other right - elves would say it is "sun and moon," as in anybody with working eyes can tell the difference between sunlight and moonlight.

The elven equivalent of "no shit sherlock" is “Trees grow, no?”

Elves have a gambling game called kholiast, involving a deck of over 1,000 cards. The hands are determined randomly by dice roll, and the point system would apparently "drive even the most dedicated Candlekeep scholar completely mad." Needless to say, moon elves love it and probably invented it.

Haven't found much on elven coinage, but the one familiar in human lands is the "blueshine" coins; silver coins with a blue-green lustre bearing the image of a crescent moon (the holy symbol of Corellon Larethian). Presumably equivalent to a silver coin in any currency.

While they can be made of the materials used in reality, elven bowstrings may be crafted from spider silk (especially if of dark elven make), elven hair, and sometimes magically-treated spun silver.

Elven fashion varies by specific culture, location and individual tastes. The trend is for loose and flowing garments with no footwear (except for the sun elves, who refuse to go out in public without some kind of shoes). An alternative to shoes is to use some kind of minor magical accessory that allows one to hover just above the ground, able to glide around without getting one's feet dirty or damaged. They tend to have few or no taboos about nudity, so garments may be quite revealing. Elves believe that their dress should be a reflection of their home nation, and the peace and prosperity that it cultivates.

The generic term of reference for ones committed romantic partners is one's "mate." Elves practice marriage, and the terms "husband" and "wife" have been seen, although it seems "consort" is just as - if not more - popular.

Elven marriages may be sealed through the use of one or two lower level High Magic rituals;

Quamaniith, "the vow made tangible," causes a vow made to be woven into physical form. In the case of a wedding, it's about the size of a fist. It usually takes the form of a stone, carved with inscriptions relating to the vow, though artistic mages may craft a figurine. When used for marriage vows, the created object is called an Aestar'Khol, a "marriage stone." Should the two divorce, or betray their vows, the stone will shatter. There is no other way to damage it, it will always remain perfectly unblemished.

U'Aestar'Kess, "One Heart, One Mind, One Breath" - this ritual creates a permanent passive mental bond between an elf and another living being (who may also be an elf), and it sees use most often as part of marriage rites. It allows the linked beings to know instinctively when their partner is in danger, detect and sometimes share their mood, and if they concentrate they can communicate telepathically.

Due to the fact that elves don't sleep, instead spending four hours in reverie, an elven home will not include a bedroom. Personal rooms resemble something closer to studies and sitting rooms; furnished with comfortable chairs, lounges and divans, furnished with personal affects and whatever projects the owner might be working on.

The other side effect of the reverie is that since elves have a full 20 hours of activity, can see just fine at night, and don't necessarily have fixed sleeping hours, elven communities don't fluctuate in activity levels. Villages, towns and cities will be as busy in the dead of the night as they are at every hour, and elves have more free time than others.

Elves have perfected birth control. While technically the magic rituals involved in this came about for practical reasons - including ensuring a child would not be conceived in harsh conditions like famines, plagues and wars, where its birth would cause suffering for both it and its family - elves now just use it as an everyday thing when they don't want to get pregnant. No elf will be having children if they don't want them, those who do want them will only be conceiving them when they intend to, and attempting to change their mind will be considered an infringement of their personal freedoms and bodily autonomy, and be met with hostility.

Linguistics: The elven language is called Lalur, "the Singing." All elven languages are written in the Espruar script, which has two forms. One features more loops and curls, and the other features a series of curved lines, dots and dashes, which has come into fashion more recently. Another elven language is Seldruin, which is almost extinct. It's the language used in the casting of elven High Magic, and is written in a unique script called Hamarfae.

Similarly, elven accents are usually described as "musical" - they tend to pronounce "s" softly, drawing it out and their voices shift up and down the vocal register more than is usual. Elven vocal chords are odd, allowing them to reach over an octave-and-a-half, which they can sustain for longer than a human could. Elven vocal chords are capable of producing two completely different notes at the same time. The overall effect of the elven voice and accent is likened to chiming, or little bells.

Elven songs are usually either wordless vocalisation, or feature multiple overlapping voices singing different lyrics. The typical "mood" of the music varies by culture: for example, sun elves prefer solemn songs with gravitas; wood elves enjoy a good rhythm; moon elves prefer something fun, whimsical, and sometimes bawdy. Some elves have a rare genetic quirk that allows them to use their vocal chords to speak two different things at the same time; the "secondary" voice is much fainter, and limited, but in music is allows the singer to produce a layered, echoing quality.

Elven musical performances feature galadrae - three dimensional illusions depicting scenes to go along with the song, not dissimilar to what one might see at a modern concert.

Musical instruments most often seen are woodwinds and strings, especially harps (which are strongly associated with elves). Elves are the only people thus far who have worked out how to build their instruments to be capable of sustain. Elven music has been compared (out of universe) to Enya, Loreena McKennit, Genesis and ELO.

Music and song is an important part of romance in elven culture... alongside erotic dances, apparently. But anyway, courting is accomplished by writing each other love songs and singing them to each other, or by composing poems for similar effect.

Non-elven languages are rather charmingly referred to as Glahkery, which translates into something like "strifeful sounds."

Key Philosophies: An important part of elven cultures is the concept of laraelever - technically referring to undamaged forest, "as it should be." This does not mean nature should be "pristine" or untouched by humanoid life. It means that the way the world is found in its untouched state, unmodified by another's desire, is how it is meant to be. The lives of others should not impose on the world more than they need to. The natural world is to be without blight, unburnt and unharmed by careless logging, overhunting or depletion of resources.

It also applies to the elven approach to life and the passage of time: things will generally occur when they're ready and grow/proceed at the speed they're intended to. One should never rush. Non-elves and younger elves tend to find this attitude incredibly frustrating, while "adult" elves find them dangerously impatient.

This may also be a part of why elven cultures tend to value independence and individual freedom - that one must "accept life as it is", implies you can't force things to be anything else.

The "way life is supposed to be" does not include dark magics that tamper with natural cycles, and the elven word for undeath is mormhaor - "corrupted death." Undeath is a blasphemous attempt to impose one's will on the world and force it into a shape in the most horrific way possible, and is heavily tied to the loss and violation of free will, and its believed that undeath destroys the soul (whether this is correct or not in D&D varies by source). The state is generally considered worse than death - the elf is cut off from their people, their gods and their path, and denied their chance for spiritual enlightenment and the afterlife. The sole acceptable form of undeath exists in the baelnorn; a form of elven lich that was created willingly and is sustained by positive energy instead of negative, in the name of continuing some duty or other for the sake of their people. They are sponsored by the Seldarine, and tolerated by the elven deity of death. Elves respect their sacrifice, but are usually still uneasy around them.

This philosophy appears in the rest of their societies in the way that they build their homes and furniture; a chair may be "constructed" of wood that was carefully grown into shape and harvested with careful consideration to the timing, rather than by unnecessarily cutting down an entire living tree and taking more wood than is technically needed and whittling it down to shape.

Elven architecture is built to complement its natural surroundings, blending in with it. The design concept is that a building should seen as much a part of the landscape as the trees or mountains and enhance their beauty. To help these buildings blend in, elven doors are designed to disappear into their surroundings, and they can be incredibly annoying for outsiders to spot (elven children grow up learning to see them, and so elves don't have this problem).

Buildings are preferably constructed by growing trees into shape rather than by constructing from timber or stone. If they are made of stone, they're still usually "grown" by shaping them with magic, creating a seamless mineral structures.

From non-elven perspectives, an elven city resembles a garden or park more than a settlement. They favour building in the trees themselves more than anything else (for example, the city of Suldanessellar in Baldur's Gate 2 is built on platforms built around the trees, high in the canopy). The higher constructions are linked by bridges and swinging ropes.

Ground dwellings are typically built for children, the elderly, and the disabled, and others who might be unsafe with heights and getting up and down them. It's also where elven realms that have contact with outsiders build their inns, taverns, warehouses and businesses. Elves don't clear the area a great deal when building their ground dwellings, their roads and streets are built around pre-existing natural structures and can meander a lot.

The ground level and higher parts of the city may be linked by teleport magics and enchanted platforms that function as lifts/elevators.

This preference to leave things untouched doesn't mean that elves never alter the world for their own desires - especially since obsessive, eccentric artists are a staple of the elven population. Wealthy Houses are known to make roofing materials out of precious stones. Some cities, such as Leuthilspar, get artistic with their roads. The main road there is magically constructed from some kind of glassy, clear crystal and is nicknamed the Diamond Road.

Each building typically belongs to a single Clan or House (often the building is an entire living, ancient tree), and if they belong to a culture that builds tombs, they will also have a family tomb. The rest of the city, outside of residential buildings, is not considered owned by the elves but simply under their care and stewardship. It belongs to the other lives as much as them. Elven communities often have neighbours from other fey races; dryads, faerie dragons, treants, fauns, nymphs, pixies, etc. Elves and fey tend to be relatively close, and the elven and seelie fey pantheons are often worshipped by all of them.

Elves do not farm in pastures and fields - it's more that they cultivate the world around them without disturbing it too much (I don't remember the technical agricultural jargon here.) They'll try not to disturb the rest of the ecosystem too much, but elven farmers will nurture the plants they desire while removing harmful plants and pests. They don't introduce plants or disturb the soil, merely encourage what's already there for healthier and higher yields of whatever grows. A lot of outsiders can easily stroll through a farm without realising it. Farmers are the only elves who count the passing of years, due to the need to keep track of crop yields and the ages of plants and animals. The equivalent of a year to elves is a grouping of four years known as an aeloulaev, or more commonly as a pyesigen - "four snows" (plural pyesigeni).

While Houses might have their lorekeepers, who preserve and record history, the typical elven opinion on time tends to be that "history is the weave of things outside of life, not for those still within its loom." They see history in their reverie, they don't need to worry about it in their waking hours.

Yet another elven philosophy is of the Road of Life: a multi-staged, twisting spiritual path every elf walks, and one with many potential branching paths to explore.

It is, in part, a shared path because all elves are part of the greater whole that is the Tel'Quessir - but at the same time, no elf can walk the path for another. All should care for the community and support fellow elves in being able to walk their path, so that the community can support them as they walk theirs; “We are on this shared path together, but at the same time all of us are finding our own way.”

Elves under 100 years old are walking the first section of the road. Their life experience and perspective is the equivalent of a human of the same age. They don't yet perceive time and think in terms of the passage of decades and centuries as a "mature" elf does, and from their elder's perspective are incredibly (annoyingly) impatient. Due to this gap in understanding, young elves often find themselves more comfortable in the company of humans, who share their feelings and perceptions.

It's the elves in their first stage of the road who are usually found adventuring and living in human cities, they're "whimsical dabblers, ‘flighty’ and inclined to plunge into something new or [grow] tired of something and move on without feeling the need to shoulder responsibilities, or [care] overmuch about consequences," "...almost like the humans in their passions of youth, and they adapt to their more transient surroundings. They eat over-spiced animal flesh and other abominable foods; they wield simpler, cruder, combat-oriented human magics; and they even mate with non-elves."

These younger elves, in the throes of rebellious youth and lack of patience, may be prone to selfishness, ruthless ambition and disrespecting their elders as they turn their nose up at elven values. This particular phase is referred to as Ardavanshee - "the restless young ones."

Older elves mostly leave the youth alone to make their own mistakes, assuming they'll grow out of their crueller and selfish behaviours with time and experience.

An elf under 90 years old is not considered experienced enough to be allowed to hold leadership positions.

All elves will begin their journey on the road with a basic magical education during childhood: Magic is an everyday part of elven cultures at every level of society, and every elf grows up surrounded by it. Even the copper elves, who have little interest in arcane magic, surround themselves with druidry.

Basic martial training in traditional elven martial arts is also part of the standard for all elven cultures, involving the bow, sword and rapier - elven blades tend towards being long, very thin and flexible. Elves have a long and bloody history of conflict, and every one of them is be expected to be able to defend themselves and their home, should the need arise.

Whatever other education their family sets for them, elves have childhoods much like any other race's children. They learn their history through creative retellings form their elders and are let loose to run around and engage in physical activities - climbing trees and swimming. They're taken to play in the outdoors and encouraged to take interest in the natural world, learning of the animals and plants they share the world with.

Reaching the elven age of majority, and the second stage of the path, occurs some time in their second century of life (120 years old, on average). As they mature and outlive the human lifespan they tend to settle into the elven ways, and focus on their spiritual ties to their communities and faith.

Mature elves typically take things very slowly. They spend a lot of time in contemplation, consider all facets and nuances in a problem, and try to predict all potential consequences that could be born of a choice (even those domino effects that may occur decades after the fact). They prefer to implement these choices very slowly, watching what ripples are caused through the course of years and responding accordingly - they may continue, stop, or make revisions as they go.

Occasionally an "adult" finds themselves drawn back to adventuring and a faster paced life outside of the elven homelands. This is accepted as simply a natural part of that elf's particular path.

The other branch on the road is one where an elf finds a passion and devotes themselves to it; fine art, playwriting, magic, architecture, the martial arts, literature, faith, music, whatever. They become hyperfixated on whatever has caught their eye; they keep the company of others who share their interest and talk about it to the exclusion of almost everything else (others are warned to beware engaging an elf in conversation about a topic dear to them, because they will tell you every single detail there is to know and will not stop).

Elves will dedicate months and years preparing for their projects; spending time in reverie and contemplation as they meditate on ideas, praying to the gods for guidance, and traveling leagues to gather materials and discuss with experts or observe others' works for inspiration.

The last stages of the road are stages of seeking spiritual enlightenment; they reflect on their long lives and many, many experiences with the world and contemplate the bigger picture and the nature of the universe and the People. They will begin to feel the Seldarine calling to them in their reverie, summoning them to the afterlife in Arvandor (Sehanine Moonbow's call, in particular).

The mythical final stage, occurring past 700 years of age, is one where an elf's contemplation successfully leads them to enlightenment. They become at peace, and their understanding puts them in perfect unity with the universe. These elves are faced with the choice of returning to Arvandor to join the gods, or to remain in the mortal world and use their wisdom to guide their people. Thus far the only elf said to have achieved this state was the elven queen Amlaruil, who chose to stay behind.

---

All this philosophy aside, elves still run businesses, have class and wealth divides and squabble amongst each other for power and prestige like anybody else does. The common elf is a priest, a guard, a farmer, a hunter, a cook, a maid, a tavernmaster... In daily life, most of the daily function of the realm involves cultivating the plants that grow in it (farming, construction, maintenance) and security (scouting, guarding, patrolling).

Although, elven society is steeped in magic all over the place, so in regards to things like maids and household chores, elves are more likely to simply use magic to clean the house and lessen the amount of physical labour involved.

---

Society (Houses and Clans, and the Government):

The concept of the Merchant Clans and Noble Houses aren't unique to drow; these family dynasties are part of larger elven culture, be they categorised as high, wood or dark. All elves are part of a larger extended family, known either as a House or a Clan, from which they take their surname.

Elves will generally be loyal to their Clan and House before their nation, and they have their own laws that members must follow, generally set by the matriarch or patriarch (the later only existing in non-drow cultures). Some have multiple leaders, ranging from a duo (House Nightstar is governed by twin sisters) to a council of elders. Each clan/house has different methods for choosing their leader/s, some are hereditary and others are elected. For larger Houses that span multiple regions, there will be a hierarchy with local leaders who answer to a family head that oversees the entire bloodline.

Elven nobility belong to Houses, which are generally known for each having certain political ideologies, and they often specialise in training their members in specific skills.

The elven concept of "aristocracy" is granted by a ruler, who makes that elf and their clan a Noble House as a reward for some exceptional service to elvenkind (this is very hard to achieve). The status cannot be revoked by a ruler, nobles can only be exiled and stripped of their House name by their own family.

Some families restrict their membership, and will not acknowledge the spouses or children of their relatives who are of certain elven cultures, non-elven races or half-elves. As a rule of thumb, moon elven culture would frown upon excluding anybody of elven blood from the family. Everybody tends to make an exception for drow - you are not bringing a dark elf into this family tree. Houses may adopt others into their family, and it's also possible for a House to adopt N'Quess into their ranks, usually as servants (so one could find a human cook who happens to be a member of an elven House).

Houses are generally associated with a specific elven culture, although the family usually contains a mixture of backgrounds. House Le'Quella, for example, has prominent mixed moon elven and green elven ancestry. The copper elves have mostly abandoned the concept of Houses, though some prestigious and historically important ones remain. Green elven cultures have long forsaken the concept, along with most of the trappings of the elven society that caused them thousands of years of suffering. Sun elves pay greater attention to their elders and important ancestors, and consider their Houses more "legitimate" than moon elven or wood elven Houses, and take House politics and affiliation far more seriously. Due to this, their Houses usually hold greater status than those of other elves'. Within the vast majority of dark elven societies, House affiliation and prestige is a matter of life and death, and being without a House to protect you leaves you open to enslavement and death.

Each House has two colours associated with it (sometimes they have more, less strongly associated colours), as well as an insignia (for example House Aelorothi's colours are pale blue and green, with a red swan for a crest. House Starym's colours are silver and maroon, with two falling silver dragons on the crest.) It seems like Clans may also have colours and insignias, but that may only be for the most prestigious of them. Even within the larger Houses, there will be members of the House who are nobility, and those who are common servants and footmen.

Clans and Houses are not tied to specific realms, and members and family units may be encountered anywhere in the world. "It's a mistake to think of elven Houses as equivalent to human [noble] Houses [...] in some respects you can almost think of an elven House as a small, extremely long-lived organisation with blood-ties."

Some Houses have existed for over 10,000 years, and these houses usually boast the highest status.

Status is a fluctuating thing; it depends on many factors such as wealth and prestige, the actions and reputation of its members, its relationship with other houses (feuds and alliances), how many powerful and talented mages - especially High Mages - it hold in its ranks...

Elven Houses may have smaller, related Houses attached to them called Septs, much like human dynasties have cadet branches. Septs are formed when a noble marries a commoner and takes their clan name, rather than having their lover marry into their House. A Greater House has many Septs, and a Lesser House fewer or none.

Arranged marriages do - or did - exist. They're primarily practiced as part of House politics, mainly by sun elves, and this historically caused some irritation in the time of Myth Drannor, when the Houses started using arranged marriages to call dibs on promising mages to bolster their own family's retinues and reputations. When elves marry, the elf of the less prestigious Clan/House will be considered as marrying into their spouse's more prominent Clan/House.

Surface elven Houses are as prone to intrigue and politicking as their Underdark equivalents, but they are significantly less likely to murder over it.

Most surface elven realms are city states, ruled by a Coronal, who is "speaker among the trees with Corellon's voice and bidding."

While this means that Coronal has absolute authority, the assumed role of the ruler is to keep the peace and maintain harmony between the various elven peoples and Houses within their realm. On an individual level, elves won't necessarily respond well to attempts to meddle in their personal lives, and sometimes trying to organise the masses is like herding cats.

The Coronal's word is law, but the entire realm may discuss and debate it before that word becomes law, and the Coronal cannot pass a law before at least a month has passed since its proposal.

While elves must accept the law of the land once made, mass migrations of entire clans and houses are known to occur in response to an unpopular proclamation as the elves leave for somewhere they don't have to listen (assuming the response isn't something more along the lines of an assassination...). While they might move to another elven settlement entirely, these elves won't necessarily leave the geographic area, they may simply settle on a patch just outside of the Coronal's jurisdiction and govern themselves. Sometimes elves just build an entire demiplane (small alternate universe) and move there instead.

In larger realms, such as the former empire of Cormanthyr, the Coronal oversees the realm and the individual cities within are been governed by a local council made up of the heads of the most influential Houses, who govern the minutia of daily life in their own city and have no influence outside of it.

Coronal is not usually an inherited position (especially in the modern day). How one achieves the position varies by place. In Cormanthyr, this was determined by blade-rite. The applicant draws an enchanted, sentient blade from its sheath, and the sword judges their intentions for the power they seek. If it decides they don't have the Tel'Quessir's wellbeing at heart and will abuse their power, then it kills them on the spot.

Rulers are advised by a council of elders, who as always are usually the family heads of the local Houses.

Larger surface elven society saw a slight shift towards matriarchy in the reign of Queen Amlaruil Moonflower on Evermeet, and women usually wield the most influence in elven politics.

The entirety of elvendom was technically ruled by a (popular) royal family at one point, situated in Evermeet. However the queen has vanished in the last century, and it seems the monarchy no longer applies. Even when she was alive, some of the elves were merely humouring the notion and didn't pay it much mind. Loyalty came mostly because she was likable and her people felt she cared for them and served them well.

Nobility is defined as the Houses in "good standing." Those who possess more "wealth" - although elves don't value things like gold the way others do, so they don't put the same weight on it - and those who have a fancier family history, which gives the family more weight when councils convene to make realm-wide decisions about enterprises and social policies being made for the good of all.

Some particularly arrogant Houses feel they have "claim" to a particular patch of forest, in the same way a human noble might claim estates, but nobody else would agree with them, and collective elven society considers the world outside of their front doors to be public property that happens to be under the People's care.

While no house is beholden to the realm it resides in, and owes no duties, society expects the elven aristocracy to provide warriors, funds and resources to the wellbeing of the realm as a matter of honour. In peacetime this means providing the guard patrols and hunting parties, and providing for the sick and elderly of their communities who require aid.

---

While the dwarves and some human cultures can give them a run for their money, elves are quite possibly the proudest people on Toril. Theirs was the first and longest humanoid empire, theirs is the greatest grasp of magic, theirs is the longest lived of the common races of Toril, theirs is the blood that runs in the veins of a god... Suffice to say, the People tend towards being arrogant and stubborn. It never occurs to a number of elves that their ways might not be the way, and between that and their resistance to being governed when the rulers want to change things, the dwarves have invented a saying regarding attempting to change their minds on something: "If you want to tell an elf what to do, be sure to bring your axe."

Where the halflings and gnomes blend in, elves (and dwarves) are the most likely to stand out as distinct, separate cultures within human cities. On average they're proud of their history and their ways of life, and won't be trading them for others. How aloof they are exactly will depend on factors like personality, and how fairly treated they feel they are being by their neighbours.

#astarion #astarion ancunin #elf tav #This took so long #Shoot me.#Please.#two sourcebooks. tweets. forums. youtube.#all it cost me was my sanity

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system-of-a-feather · 2 months

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Possibly a hot take but once you get to the point of final fusion / functional multiplicity and you've been in it for a while and that becomes your normal, you REALLY begin to realize that they're really the exact same thing but with different perspectives and preferred language used

And like that means A LOT to some people and thats 1000% valid and the perspective and language can wildly change the experience and how individuals approach it themselves

And just to make it clear for those that tend to read the worst in posts, I'm NOT saying this to be like "oh all functional multiplicity is is really just final fusion and functional multiplicity doesn't exist" or "final fusion is really just functional multiplicity in denial" because that isn't what I'm saying. I am NOT saying one is the only real one and the other is just The Real One But Wrapped Differently.

What I am saying is that the difference of whether I am "at final fusion" or "at functional multiplicity" is a lot less of a wide gap of "two opposite recovery goals" and a lot more of a handwave at which connotation and set of implications on how we relate to ourselves seems more applicable to our identity at the moment.

The difference between them a lot less of a cavern and a lot more like sand in an hourglass and throughout the day I'll identify more with final fusion one hour and functional multiplicity the next and really NOTHING changed in my system. No one split or anything, I just perceived myself in a different angle.

Like at this point, from my perspective in late stage recovery of DID, I personally see it as extremely nonsensical and needless for me to try to say which one I'm at because they are literally just different sides of the same coin. If I'm holding a penny, I often just say I'm holding a penny and saying "I'm holding a penny with the head side up" is only really important when I'm flipping the coin or trying to describe it to someone with visual impairments. As long as there is no real purpose for me to specify, its all the same to me

And of course, I remember NOT being in late stage DID recovery and what not so I absolutely understand the importance and value of both labels and the distinction and I absolutely support them being discussed as separate things because I do think it serves as a good and simplified framework to help people understand the different ways recovery and healing can work for individuals with DID and start thinking about what recovery and healing might mean for them. They're both REALLY good templates and if one is adversive to someone, the other is probably less adversive. Either way, they're both very good starting points on building your idea of recovery.

That's all just to say whenever I see people talking about Final Fusion VS Functional Multiplicity, I just scratch my head as someone who is at both and has been at both for something approaching a year I think now.

Anyways if anyone wants to ask anything on either and/or both final fusion and functional multiplicity or just general late stage DID recovery, feel free to send an ask. I'd love to chat about it, I just am honestly so unbothered by having DID at this point that I am never really prompted or inspired to write about it much anymore.

#actuallydid #dissociative identity disorder #final fusion #functional multiplicity #recovery #did recovery #ptsd recovery #trauma recovery #ptsd #c-ptsd #wishiwashi recovery

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blush-blush-imagines · 11 months

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Reference from Brooklyn 99, how would some of the boys react if we just said "If I run and leap at (Name), he will most certainly catch me in his arms" and then proceeded to run full force at them while they're carrying stuff. (You can just ignore this if you don't understand this or don't want to do this.)

I was given 'some' and immediately ignored my own rules and did 'all', that's fun.

Still, finally cracking down and writing all *checks notes* 2 requests I've gotten.

(Please feel free to send in requests, I'd love to have more to work with)

Nimh

Oh it is such a rough thing for poor Nimh.

Problem A), the call alone is a little jump scare to him, and now his heart is freaking out

Problem B), he’s now faced with the dilemma of either dropping everything, or letting you eat shit on the pavement. He’d like neither to happen, but he’s not dumb enough to think he could do both

He eventually commits to catching you, but that just leads to

Problem C), he is not very strong and he can barely hold you

Give him the courtesy of keeping a foot on the ground to balance out your weight, yeah?

Volks

You joke about it sometimes before you ever commit to the bit

And every single time you do he insists to you that he will make zero effort to catch you

But you know Volks very well at this point.

And you know, among other things, that he is a dirty fucking liar

So you can only imagine your personal childlike glee when you finally do it and he does, in fact, catch you without hesitation

He insists it’s because if you fell and like, broke your elbow or something, that’d be terrible. Medical bills and all that.

For his sake, you’re ignoring that his face is growing redder by the second.

Kelby

No hesitation 100% of the time

First of all, holding you is extremely easy for him, but also he just finds carrying you to be romantic as hell

Oh he’ll cringe if he happens to be dropping something heavy, like a weight, but he still goes for you, that’s his priority

Still, he likes looking for opportunities to show off, and carrying you around like it’s nothing is prime show off material.

He might even get in a couple squats. He knows they go appreciated.

Eli

It’s a coin flip with Eli

Though if there’s a chance you’d genuinely injure yourself he’ll probably catch you

But it’s fair game to just let you crash if it’s carpet or grass. Because he thinks it’s just a little funny.

He also occasionally makes you pay the ‘catch tax’

It’s 5 dollars to at least partially make up for the drink that just died on the ground for your goofs.

Anon

Really, shame on you, you should know better.

He makes no attempt to catch you

In fact, he finds the way you end up crashing into the wall kinda funny.

Like watching a cat really fuck up a jump.

Beyond the fact that he’s kind of a stickler with his physical contact to begin with, a lot of the things he carries around are very easily breakable

So yes it’s rude, but frankly he’s not about to shell out 1000 dollars for a new laptop because you thought you could make a goofy point- because you couldn’t.

Garret

Garret doesn’t even miss a beat

He’s got you held up in one arm and whatever it was he was holding cradled in the other

While he thinks that it was certainly an odd thing to do, it was pretty cute.

Not hard to do. He thinks most things you do are cute.

Gives you a little kiss and gently sets you back down

Don’t get overconfident though. If he’s holding an animal, the animal gets priority. They’re more fragile.

He still feels really bad about it though. You think he might cry

Dmitri

Dmitri also goes for the catch every time

It adds to his suave and romantic charm, obviously.

However, as the type to prioritize romance over basic logic on occasion, he’s also prone to forgetting that he’s often holding his drink of choice

No it’s fine that his foot just got doused in hot coffee, no he’s not getting a third degree burn

Appreciate the romance, he’ll go see someone about it later

Ichiban

Like Anon, Ichiban hesitates, because if he’s holding something, it’s likely expensive.

However, unlike Anon, he makes the fatal mistake of still trying to catch you

And it worked maybe once. He’s still riding that high though.

He can handle it!

…But also this case of shenanigans that he has never told you to stop doing has cost more in equipment that either of you are ready to admit out loud.

You may or may not have pitched in to replace several cameras, controllers, and lavaliers

William

He tries very very hard to get you to stop charging him before contact is made

It’s a flurry of paperwork, because he does catch you

Says it’s the least he could do as the doting boyfriend he is

Though he does awkwardly dismiss himself from in after a moment.

While carrying you around is quite romantic, he won’t disagree with that, but also those papers were kind of important and he should get those together ASAP.

People have pets in need, and they can’t get it without the information getting where it needs to be.

He promises to give you a good cuddle once it’s all sorted, however.

Myx

There’s a very direct correlation between what exactly he’s holding and how okay he is with dropping it to scoop you

Electronics? Hard no, those are pricey to replace

Instruments are also frequent victims, and it depends on its fragility.

He tried to catch you with his leg once, except all he actually did was end up kicking you in the gut on the way down

He apologized about it for fifteen minutes straight.

But if it’s something sturdy, he has no problem with chucking it straight down and scooping you up into a whole ass cuddle.

Stirling

Oh please don’t do that outside

He’s fine with it inside and at night. It’s very attractive, even. Smooth and charming as he sweeps you off your feet before you can even make the jump.

But in the middle of the day it’s very bad for both of you

He can’t hold his parasol and you at the same time, it’s not happening

So get ready to either hit the deck or get caught on fire with him, depending on how much time he gets to think about it

Scale

He screams at first

There’s a loud clatter of knives, but he’s got you!

Scale insists very hard that he did not shriek like a little baby at you almost impaling yourself on his knives

Instead he scolds you over it

I mean come on, you spent an entire afternoon to keep his assassination deadline on you years away

What’s the good in wasting that, he could’ve done better things with his afternoon if you were gonna die a couple months later anyway

Sven

Puts no thought into whatever he’s holding, he just tries to hold you on top of it

It’s very uncomfortable every time, why do you keep doing that

It also doesn’t register to him that it’s his need to multitask it that results in you injuring yourself

He starts doing it to you to prove a point, and thinks he’s doing it better because he doesn’t get hurt

He has not realized it’s because you actually drop everything to catch him

But it’s still fun, and you kinda don’t want to ruin it for him.

Cole

He doesn’t even flinch

It’s like he anticipated you’d do this exact thing

And unlike some of the other boys he doesn’t even think when he drops whatever he’s holding.

Unless it’s something on the more… incriminating side. At that point he dodges you, dodges any questions, and quickly dismisses himself from the conversation entirely.

Sure it’s entirely possible there’s a shattered plate of hot food at his feet now, but that doesn’t matter because you’re here, being contently held in his arms

He uses it as an excuse to keep holding you

Poe

It what fucking world do you think he could hold you?

He drops his coffee and his school papers

Luckily they don’t damage each other, but w o w that was a close call

But beyond losing his morning caffeine and having to gather his work back up, you’ve hurt his wrists and also your entire body

No one has won here.

He also just. Literally can’t hold you. He’s a tiny frail goth boy, he crumbles if he’s holding anything heavier than 20 pounds.

Once you’re back on your feet, he asks if you could at the very least help him gather up his papers. They’re worth like 20% of his grade.

Cashew

Already a bit on the twitchy side, when he notices you speeding like a bullet train, he squeaks.

What exactly do you think you’re doing??? He’s been relocating his books all afternoon, you can see that he’s holding like, 8.

But, visibly cringing, they hit the floor, because he knows that he can’t hold them and you at the same time

One of them falls wide open, pages down. He tries not to think of the potential folded pages and boxed corners.

Especially because of how pleased you look!

…But the second he can set you down he’s on the ground checking for damages.

Seth

Seth is the absolute king of the ‘casually carrying around hazardous objects’ club

But unlike everyone else in said club, he has no qualms about chucking whatever it is on the ground and scooping you up.

This has resulted almost unanimously in making more hazards and chaos, but he hasn’t fussed about it once

He gets to give you a lil snuggle and it has the potential to cause crime. It’s a win-win for him!

You are an accessory to arson now though, so watch out, yeah?

Logan

Man goes into bullet time

It’s just a race to him to see if he can free an arm before you inevitably ‘plink’ off him and crash into the floor

Like. He does it, no real problems

But he immediately sets you down and scolds you for it

Because that was dangerous! What if he got hurt? What if you got hurt? What if he was holding something breakable, or bringing his fire axe somewhere?

All of those sound awful!

Still, he ruffles your hair and plants a little kiss on the top of your head. He isn’t mad, he just wants to make sure you’re being safe.

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max1461 · 8 months

Note

I would very much like to see your expectation post, as I expect I will strongly disagree with it, and I think it might be a contributor to a lot of our disagreements. If you were gambling with small amounts of money, would you try to maximise something other than expected winnings?

Ok, I'll just talk about the expectation thing again here.

Right, so, for a random variable X, the expected value E(X) intuitively represents the value we would expect to get in the limit after sampling from X very many times and averaging out. But this limit is important—E(X) and the intuitive notion of "expectation" don't line up outside the limiting case.

For example, say someone offers you the following bet: they flip a coin with a 0.1 probability of landing on heads and a 0.9 probability of landing on tails. If it comes up heads, you get ten dollars. If it comes up tails, I pay them one dollar. The expected value of this bet is 0.1*$10 - 0.9*$1 = 10 cents. This means that, in the limit, if I take the bet n times, I can expect (in the intuitive sense) to make 10n cents. And so, if the guy offering this bet allows me to take it as many times as I'd like, the rational thing is to take it a bunch and make some money!

But if the guy only offers the bet once, then the limiting behavior does not come into play. It doesn't matter that if I took the bet a bunch of times I would make money in the limit, because we're not in the limit (nor an approximation of it)! If he offers the bet once, then I cannot in any intuitive sense "expect" to make ten cents. Rather, I expect, with a 90% probability, to simply lose one dollar.

If I take this bet once, the overwhelmingly likely outcome is that I'll just lose money and gain nothing. So I wouldn't take the bet! I think this is perfectly rational behavior.

I said this all to someone once and they said it had to do with the fact that the relationship between money and utility isn't linear, but it's not about that at all. Replace dollars with, idk, direct pleasure and pain units in the above bet and I would still act the same way. It's about E(X) measuring limiting behavior and thus primarily according with the intuitive notion of expectation only when you sample from X a large number of times.

#math #navel gazing

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iovebarca · 9 days

Text

The Coin Toss - Pablo Gavi

Authors note: send me some requests!

WC: 1300+

warnings: incorrect grammar (probably), my first language isn't english so if you notice any mistakes please tell me, just fluff!

summary: You rely on coin flips to make decisions, leading you to meet Pablo at the park, where you bond over your shared tradition. A coin toss decides on the beginning of a beautiful love story.

Decision-making had always been a daunting task for you. The weight of choosing between two paths, each filled with its own set of uncertainties, often left you paralyzed with indecision. It was during one particularly challenging period in your life that you stumbled upon an unconventional solution, the simple act of flipping a coin.

It started as a whim, a desperate attempt to break free from the cycle of overthinking and second-guessing. One day, faced with a difficult choice, you reached into your pocket and pulled out a coin. With a flick of your thumb, you sent it spinning into the air, leaving its fate to chance.

On this particular day you couldn't decide if you wanted to go to the park or stay in your apartment to study for an upcoming business exam. "Heads, I go to the park," you whispered, the words a silent prayer to the whims of fate.

As the coin arced gracefully through the air, time seemed to slow to a crawl. And then, with a soft clink, it landed in your palm, revealing its verdict. "Heads," you repeated, a smile tugging at the corners of your lips. "Looks like the park it is."

You arrived at the park with a weight on your shoulders, a decision looming in the forefront of your mind. The vast expanse of greenery seemed to beckon you, promising solace and clarity amidst the chaos of life.

As you wandered through the winding paths, the sunlight filtering through the leaves above, you felt the tension begin to ease from your muscles. The scent of freshly cut grass and blooming flowers filled the air, carrying with it a sense of tranquility that you desperately needed.

Finally, you found yourself drawn to a secluded bench nestled beneath the shade of a grand oak tree. It seemed to call to you, offering a sanctuary where you could gather your thoughts and find the answers you sought. Only there was a guy sitting on the bench.

Approaching him tentatively, you cleared your throat, your voice betraying the nervousness that churned within you. "Excuse me, do you mind if I join you?"

The stranger looked up, his warm brown eyes crinkling at the corners as he offered you a friendly smile. "Not at all," he replied, gesturing to the empty space beside him.

Introductions are made, and you learn his name is Pablo. You chat about inconsequential things at first— the weather, the beauty of the park— but soon the conversation takes an interesting turn.

"So, what brings you to the park today?" Pablo asks, a playful glint in his eyes.

You paused for a moment, gathering your thoughts before deciding to share a glimpse of your quirky tradition with the stranger beside you. "Actually, I was going to study for a business exam I have coming up," you began, your voice tinged with a hint of amusement, "but I ended up here instead. You see, I have this odd tradition where I flip a coin to make decisions."

The stranger's eyes widened in surprise, a grin spreading across his face. "No way, you too?" he exclaimed, his voice filled with excitement. "That's incredible! I can't believe we have the same tradition."

You couldn't help but laugh at the sheer coincidence of it all, feeling a sense of connection growing stronger between you with each passing moment. "It seems like fate brought us together," you remarked, a smile tugging at the corners of your lips.

A playful glint danced in Pablo's eyes as he suggested, "Well, why don't we put our tradition to the test? Make a decision together?" "Sure, I'd love that," you replied, unable to hide the smile that tugged at your lips.

With a grin, Pablo retrieved a coin from his pocket, the sunlight catching its gleaming surface as he held it between his fingers. "Heads, we go for ice cream. Tails, we take a stroll by the lake," he proposed, his eyes sparkling with anticipation.

You watched with bated breath as Pablo flicked the coin into the air, its metallic clang echoing through the quiet park. Time seemed to stand still as it twirled and spun before finally landing in his palm, revealing its verdict.

"Heads!" Pablo exclaimed, a delighted smile spreading across his face. "Looks like we're getting ice cream."

Your heart soared with excitement as you rose from the bench, a sense of adventure coursing through your veins. Together, you set off towards the nearby ice cream parlor, laughter and lighthearted banter filling the air.

The bell above the door chimed cheerfully as you stepped inside, greeted by the tantalizing aroma of freshly made waffle cones and the colorful display of frozen delights. Pablo's eyes sparkled with delight as he scanned the menu, his excitement infectious.

"I can never resist a classic vanilla cone," he admitted with a sheepish grin.

You chuckled, feeling a sense of warmth spread through you at his endearing confession. "I'm a sucker for anything with chocolate." you confessed, feeling a twinge of excitement at the thought of indulging in your favorite flavor.

As you waited for your treats to be prepared, you and Pablo found a cozy corner to sit, the air filled with the hum of conversation and the tantalizing scent of freshly baked waffle cones.

With your ice cream in hand, you and Pablo savored each delicious bite, the sweetness of the frozen treat melting on your tongues. You couldn't help but smile as you watched Pablo's eyes light up with each lick of his cone, his expression one of pure bliss.

As you and Pablo enjoyed your ice cream, there was an undeniable spark between you, an electric energy that seemed to crackle in the air. With each laugh shared and every lingering glance exchanged, the connection between you deepened, igniting a flame that warmed your hearts.

As you continued to chat, the conversation took a more intimate turn, delving into deeper topics that revealed the layers of your personalities. Each revelation felt like a step closer to understanding each other on a profound level, and with every shared moment, the connection between you deepened, weaving a tapestry of shared experiences and emotions. It might be weird but you felt like you've known him your whole life.

As the conversation lulled into a comfortable silence, a gentle breeze swept through the park, stirring the leaves of the trees and sending a cascade of golden light dancing across the grass. In that moment of serene tranquility, Pablo's gaze met yours, his eyes soft with an unspoken question.

Without a word, he leaned in closer, his breath warm against your cheek. Your heart skipped a beat as you felt the electric thrill of anticipation coursing through you, your senses heightened by the proximity of his presence.

With a tender smile, Pablo's hand brushed against yours, his touch sending a shiver down your spine. "Is it okay if I...?" he began, his voice barely above a whisper, his eyes searching yours for permission.

Your heart raced in your chest as you nodded, a rush of warmth flooding your cheeks. "Yes," you breathed, your voice barely audible over the sound of your pounding heart.

And then, with a tenderness that took your breath away, Pablo closed the remaining distance between you, his lips meeting yours in a soft, hesitant kiss. It was a moment filled with all the sweetness and innocence of a first kiss, a gentle exploration of the newfound feelings that bloomed between you.

As you melted into each other's embrace, lost in the magic of the moment, you knew with absolute certainty that this was just the beginning of a love story that would unfold in the most beautiful of ways. And as you lingered in each other's arms, basking in the warmth of newfound affection, you couldn't help but feel grateful for the chance encounter that had brought you together.

#pablo gavi #pablo gavi fluff #pablo gavi imagine #pablo gavi one shot #pablo gavi x reader #fc barcelona #football

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solidwater05 · 6 months

Text

Read the whole post before voting!

I'd post all the art there first, with more tags than I use on this blog, and then reblog it to main with my normal tags. So if you follow this blog only you won't be missing out on anything, and you can also choose to only follow the art blog if you don't like my text posts

I don't particularly want to do it but I've been thinking about it. I should probably just flip a coin but oh well

#ice speaks

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itwasthereaminuteago · 2 years

Text

|| After The Beep ||

Pairing: Frank Castle x female Reader

Rating: E 18+

Tags/warnings: phone sex / guided masturbation, aw he misses you, uh yeah 🙂

a/n: dedicating this one to @saintmurd0ck and @castlesnchurches and all the thirsty Frank stans.

"Hey princess, it's me."

He always said that despite it being obvious it could be no-one else but him.

"I know it's real late and you're sleepin right now... we got a long drive ahead of us," he clicks his tongue, "we're alright, just stoppin' for some gas and snacks and shit and uh, I know I'm gonna be gone for a while this time so I wanted to leave you a lil somethin'." He clears his throat and you settle down in the bed with your mobile cradled to your ear.

"So you've probably just woken up huh? And you've been sleepin' in my shirt ain't ya? Don't lie sweetheart I know it." He laughs to himself at the thought of you trying to deny it and you laugh too, blushing even though he's not here.

"Alright, I know you look smokin' hot in it but you're taking it off sweet stuff, need you naked for me, okay?"

God, it amazed you how much power he had over you as you put the phone on speaker and obediently unbutton and shrug the shirt off and he isn't even there with you, he would be none the wiser if you'd just ignored him.

"You're so fuckin' gorgeous, can see you lyin' there in bed in my mind... damn, where do I start? Alright. Close your eyes darlin'. Can you feel my lips on your neck 'cos that's where I wanna put them right now, just soft like, kissin' up and down makin' you squirm. Love how it gets ya, love the smell of that shampoo you use, mm, buryin' my nose in your hair baby... breathin' you in, makin' my way down slow."

You can practically feel his words on your heated skin, he's already got you in a chokehold with this.

"Now you're gonna take your hands, run em down from your neck, yeah real slow baby, run em over those pretty tits of yours. Fuck, I'd spend all day givin' them my attention, they fit in my hands so perfect, would run my thumbs over em 'til your nipples are hard princess... they hard now? Yeah, and you know I'd get my mouth on them, jesus you fuckin' love that don't you? Me lickin' an suckin' you like that?"

You're pinching them now, playing along as your breathing is starting to hitch in your throat, rubbing and rolling them in your fingers as you squirm on the bed. He keeps going.

"You feel me makin' my way down your beautiful body hmm? Cos I'm kissin' you all the way down baby. God your skin tastes so good, can't help myself from lickin' down your stomach baby girl. Oh an' I love your curves sweetheart, might not be able to stop myself from bitin' your hip cos y'know I wanna eat you up... mm, but don't rush." God his voice, it's so low he's almost growling, "we're gettin' to that."

bleep. bleep. bleep.

"Ah shit." You hear rustling and the sounds of Frank scrambling about over the phone.

"Hey Red! You got change?"

There's a pause.

"Hurry the fuck up... thanks. Now get the fuck outta here an shut yer bat ears."

You can't help but laugh and then you hear the clink of a whole bunch of coins.

"Sorry sweetheart, where were we... Oh yeah, you run those hands over those hips and the outsides of your thighs, and shit girl you know if I was there I'd flip you over and bite that gorgeous ass too right? Mm, okay, now hitch your knees up for me darlin', that's it. You know I'd kiss all the way up those legs too huh? Think about it baby, you feel my lips on the inside of your ankle? Gonna go real slow, just takin' my time... I know you're ticklish when I get up there but you gotta try stay still f'me. Atta girl."

You're practically shaking as you imagine him there with you, trailing up your inner thigh with that mouth... fuck.

"Spread your legs f'me sweetheart, nice n' wide, good girl."

You do as he says, your core throbbing with need.

"Want you to brush your fingers down over your stomach baby girl, slow, real slow like molasses... yeah, keep goin'."

You shiver as the tips of your fingers travelling downwards raise goosebumps all over your heated skin. Fuck, Frank...

You keep going as he says, finally reaching the soft hairs of your mound, and down further, sliding between the slick lips of your pussy with a shaky exhale.

"I'm bettin' you're wet gorgeous, aw yeah, I know you. I'd put money on that you were drippin' as soon as I told ya to get naked huh?"

He did know you.

"I'll quit teasin', you can touch yourself sweetness, anywhere but your clit, or inside, not yet."

That's not quitting teasing you think, whimpering as you follow his instructions, god, your fingers are gliding easily over your pussy, dancing so close to where you needed them. So close, but not enough.

You stop as you hear Frank sigh. "Damn it's hard bein' away from you for so long,"

No shit Castle.

"Sorry baby, don't wanna leave you hangin'. Alright you can touch now sweetie, I know you won't need much..."

God he's right. You rub your clit in frantic circles, soft moans slip past your lips, your other hand diving lower to thrust two fingers into your dripping cunt. You hear him ramming more coins into the payphone.

"You making noises yet baby? Fuck I reckon you are by now, get nice n loud for me sweetheart, you know how I feel when you're makin' those sounds."

You whine and pant, fucking yourself with your fingers and imagining it was him touching you, him putting this roiling of butterflies in your belly.

"Baby I know you're almost there, c'mon an cum for me." he says and just like that you moan his name into your pillow where you can pick up the last remnants of his scent as the tension breaks. You writhe and cry out loud and long like he wants as you cum so hard, squeezing around your fingers, hips lifting off the mattress, and gasping as you slow down and stop when it becomes too much for you.

"That's a good girl, so good for me. Now I gotta spend four more hours in the van with Red and a hard-on like steel pipe but god damn, it's worth it to make you feel nice baby."

There's a beat of silence and all you can think about is how much you love him.

"Alright, I'll seeya sweetheart. Bye."

The call ends.

Hi! If you enjoy my fics please consider reblogging, it means that others get to enjoy them too! I also love to hear if there's anything in particular you liked, please comment! Thank you so much for reading 💕

#frank castle x reader #the punisher x reader #frank castle x you #the punisher x you #frank castle smut #the punisher smut #frank castle x female reader

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