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By the time she's re-introduced Minion's mostly made peace with the fact that spaghetti is meant to be eaten. She's still uncomfortable with actually seeing people eat it, but she's at least stopped trying to start the Spaghetti Revolution.
....Well, aside from over at the Fresh Tubbie Spaghetti Factory where she tries frequently, because while she's accepted that spaghetti is food, she won't accept the way that hack Tubbie Wonka is desecrating it with that disgusting sludge Teletubbies are so obsessed with.
#i wish squid memes were real au#smg4 minion#tubbie wonka#also with how vocal she is about her opinion of tubby custard (because she has no self-preservation instincts)->#the teletubbie species at large REALLY doesn't like her
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Taking Flight, An SMG4 Fanfic: Volume 4
Another volume in the bag, along with some announcements.
While the main flick will still be called Taking Flight, I have officially decided to give this AU an actual name: Nexus. A bit basic, I know, but also surprisingly fitting considering all the different characters from different shows I'm cramming into this. There's also a "lore reason" but....... we'll cross that bridge when we get there. I'd also like to thank those who actually take the time out of their day to read my stuff. It really means a lot to me.
Anywho, enjoy.
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Chapter 16: Dirty Jobs
The cool midnight air lies still, and the sky is alight with the Full Moon. The perfect night for a hunt. We see Ragatha and Saturday dashing through the trees below while Tari flies up top. The shrieks are getting louder with every meter they cover.
Saturday: So how do you expect this "friend" of yours to be of any help?
Ragatha: It wouldn't hurt to have a little support. She'll be fine so long as she sticks with us.
Saturday: And you trust her to actually do something useful?
Ragatha: Depends, can I trust you to NOT try and kill her?
Saturday: I make no promises.
Another gutteral shriek echoes through the forest. The trio stop in a nearby clearing. The source of the shrieking lurks behind the trees, getting closer by the second. Tari is horrified by what's making its way into the clearing.
Tari: What.......is that thing?
Ragatha: That would be an Abstraction.
Standing in the moonlight is a shifting black mass dotted with fractalescent spines, creeping along on six prismatic spindly legs sprouting from its back. A pair of whip-like tails thrash around behind it, splitting tree trunks as if they were Styrofoam.
She draws her cleavers as Saturday readies her lance.
Ragatha: Stay close, and follow my lead.
Saturday: Watch and learn, little bird.
Saturday charges forward, drawing the beast's attention. It lashes out with its front legs, but Saturday expertly maneuvers over the sweeping claws and lands several jabs on its head with her lance. Ragatha flanks from the sides and riddles the beast's legs with sewing needles. One of its tails swipes at her and she swiftly slices it to bits with her cleavers. Once all the legs have been riddled with needles, she takes a few steps back and gives a mighty yank. Transparent threads tangle the beast's legs, immobilizing it.
Ragatha: Tari, now!
That's when tari swoops in, summoning a barrier before ramming into the beast and toppling it onto its back. Ragatha hops up and severs the beast's legs. Saturday hurls a fan of sharpened candy canes into the beast's underside, and with a snap of her fingers they shatter and further perforate their target. The beast writhes in pain, it's furious roars echoing through the forest before falling still. The color fades from its eyes as the body withers away, leaving a black oily stain upon the grass. Tari lands next to Ragatha as she offers a high five to Saturday, who callously declines as she walks up to Tari.
Tari: So........ are we cool now? I mean, you did a good job with thaAAAAH!
Saturday sweeps Tari's leg and sends her tumbling to the ground, raising her lance to Tari's chest.
Saturday: If I wanted to kill you, you'd be dead before you even saw me. Remember that the next time you decide to go on a midnight flight.
She stays her weapon and takes her leave. Ragatha helps Tari back onto her feet.
Clench: Well....... she sure seems fun.
Tari is quiet as she and Ragatha enter the Guest House. Looks like the others have all retired to their rooms for the night..... except for Aybel who was waiting in the lounge.
Aybel: Miss Ragatha. It's good to see you and Miss Tari back home safe and sound.
Ragatha: It's good to see you too, Aybel.
Aybel: I heard you had quite the adventure.
Tari: Yep..... just prancing about on a midnight stroll.....and.....nothing else, heh.
Can you tell that Tari isn't that good at lying?
Ragatha: The Showgrounds are secure, sir. Me and Saturday took care of the Abstraction, with a little help.
She glances at Tari with a smile.
Aybel: Is that so?
He hovers over to Tari and places a hand on her shoulder.
Aybel: Thank you for the assistance, Miss Tari.
Tari: Oh, um...... you're welcome. A good hostess always helps their guests.
Aybel: You should get some rest, Miss Ragatha. My brother will be arriving tomorrow, and I'm certain he'll have a new adventure planned.
She nods and heads upstairs, leaving Tari and Aybel alone in the lounge.
Aybel: So........
He ushers Tari to take a seat.
Aybel: You have some questions, I'm sure.
Tari nods.
Aybel: Well, first I must ask if you've told anyone else about what happened tonight.
Tari: No sir.
Aybel: Good. Ragatha prefers to keep that a private manner. She doesn't want the others to get involved. She has always been "protective" of this little troop of ours and doesn't want to put them at risk.
Tari: Does this have to do witn the monster we saw in the woods?
Aybel: Abstractions. Tragic things. They were once lost souls like us.
Tari: Then....... what happened to turn them into...... that?
Aybel: It has to do with resonance, the soul's ability to form connections with just about anything, whether it be an item, a person, a place, or a memory. Since the line between mind and body doesn't apply to us, we must rely on this resonance to maintain our form. Resonance is what anchors our mind and body. So, when a lost soul loses that resonance, they lose what makes us who we are. As a result, they abstract. They become husks of their former selves, shapeless, mindless amalgamations of chaos and despair. They hunt other souls to consume them, draining them of their resonance to try and replace theirs.
Tari: Wow.........that's..........that's terrible.
Aybel: Indeed. There was....... an incident involving an Abstraction at one of our facilities a month ago. The troop you see here are some of the survivors. Ragatha and her team were able to contain the threat...........
Though he didn't have any physical eyes, Tari could still sense a deep sadness within his soul.
Aybel:.........but not without losing one of their own.
Tari is taken aback by all this. She didn't expect all their new guests to have suffered so much.
Tari: Is...... is there any way to help them?To bring them back?
Aybel: I've tried, Miss Tari. We all have. But once you've passed a certain threshold...... there will be nothing left to save. The only way we can feasibly help them is to....... set their souls free.
Tari takes a moment to process all this. The idea of your friends turning into a monster is bad enough, but to be forced to put them down for their sake and the sake of others.......... she's only really seen it once before.......... and it crushed her. It crushed everyone. And to think that Ragatha has likely gone through this so many times before........
Tari: I......... I can't imagine.......
Aybel: This Circus has become like a family to us. That's why I've taken it upon myself to ensure that these Abstractions, and any other threats to the Circus, are held at bay by any means necessary. It's by no means an easy job......... but it's a job that must be done regardless.
Tari: You know..........
She can't help but think back to the incident with One Shot Wren. How he tortured Meggy, how he turned all her friends to puppets......... and how she did everything in her power to save them and set them free.
Tari: The Crew is everything to me. They've always been there for me, to help me when I couldn't help myself........ and I want to return that favor. And if that means I can protect others as well.........
She places a hand on Aybel's shoulder.
Tari: Then I have no regrets.
Aybel is taken back by Tari's resolve, the glow of passion and determination burned bright in those lilac eyes. He remembered seeing that same kind of resolve in his brave little doll........ and smiled.
Aybel: You truly are a brave little bird, aren't you?
Chapter 17: SHOWTIME!
It's a beautiful morning out in the skies as Ragatha chills out in the Crow's Nest of SMG3's ship. Apparently Aybel's brother, the "ringleader" of the Circus, has enlisted SMG3's help with the adventure planned for today.
Tari: Me and Saturday just finished scouting the area.
Ragatha: So, everything good?
Tari: Yep. Me and Saturday have covered the designated area and set up a perimeter. Stable terrain, minimal hazards, plenty of hiding spots, and ZERO Abstractions. How about you?
Ragatha: Going well so far. We're all set up for the adventure.
They both look down and see the rest of the Troop gathered aboard the top deck. Aybel is currently giving them the standard safety guidelines, jesturing to the circle of woodlands. Several beams of light are visible from the ship.
Aybel: The area within this circle of beacons is our designated "adventure zone" in which there are minimal hazards. To ensure your safety, you are to remain within this perimeter for the duration of the adventure. Is that clear?
Everyone nods in agreement.
Aybel: Very well..... We're ready, brother!
From the helm emerges SMG3 and a figure similar to Aybel, except he's in a red coat with various golden embroidery and wears a silk lined cape held with a polkadotted bowtie. His head is a floating orb much like his brother, but with only a pair of eyes. His hat is much larger, with little white "teeth" hanging around the rim. In his hands he holds his own little scepter baton thingie.
SMG3: Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, and that colorful rainbow in between, allow me to introduce the ringleader of the Circus.....CAINE!
Caine: Oh it is GOOD to be back! Thank you very much, SMG3. I trust that you are all DYING to go on today's adventure?
Kinger: I miss my wife.
Caine: That's the spirit! Now where is...... AHA!
He flies up to the Crow's Nest at a breakneck pace.
Caine: RAGATHA! Good to see you being aggressively protective as always.
Ragatha: You know it.
Caine: And YOU must be SMG4's friend from the Showgrounds! Tari, was it?
Tari: Yep, that's me. Heheh.
Caine aggressively shakes Tari's hand, nearly dislocating her shoulder as he introduces himself.
Caine: Pleasure to meet you! My name is Caine, and I am glad to have you here on today's SPINE TINGLING, HEART STOPPING, MIND TWISTING ADVENTURE.
Clench: Jesus. Kinger wasn't kidding about the eccentric part, was he?
Tari checks her arm to make sure nothing is broken.
Tari: Um, it's a pleasure to meet you too, Mister Caine.
Ragatha: Be easy on her, she's kinda new to this.
Ragatha hops down to the lower deck. Tari flies down and joins SMG3 as Caine flies over to the top of the bridge.
Caine: Now, I know it's been a while since we've had a good adventure, considering some........unfortunate circumstances......... SO, we are gonna start off with something simple to get us back into the flow of things. My good friend (and todays sponsor) SMG3 shall lay down the premise for today's adventure, FIND THE FISHY!
SMG3: Thank you Caine. You see, my friend Fishy Boopkins is currently hiding somewhere in this circle of woodland, and YOU have to find him!
Tari: Wait.......You just dumped him in the middle of the woods?
SMG3: Relax. I had him microchipped beforehand.
He pulls out a PDA with a map of the area. A little green dot shows Boopkins' real time location.
SMG3: He'll be fine. He just needs to hide until sundown or somebody finds him.
Caine: And since this is a sponsored adventure, the first to find him gets 10 coupons for free coffee at 3's Coffee & Bombs, as well as their own limited edition 3's Coffee & Bombs hoodie!
What? You think Three would pass up the chance to sponsor his business? Anyways, SMG3 goes over to one of the Grav Cannons and expands the barrels as much as possible.
SMG3: Who's first?
First one up is Jax who cheers and does some summersaults, Zooble is next as they try to keep themselves together, Gangle and Pomni both scream and hold each other as they're flying, and Kinger silently flies forward like a torpedo. Ragatha gives a wink at Tari before hopping off the ship and down into the forest below.
Caine: Good luck!
Aybel: And may the odds be ever in your favor.
Tari then spreads her wings and flies off in the direction of the others. Switching over to Pomni and Gangle, they managed to make a relatively safe landing in a nearby pond with quite the splash. Gangle floats up and out of the water. Pomni breaches the surface and coughs up a hermit crab.
Pomni: Ugh...... Why is it always a cannon?
In another spot in the forest we see Jax landing in a bush next to Zooble, who has just finish piecing themselves back together.
Jax: WOO! Haha.........Howdy.
In another different spot we see Kinger having landed on a beaver's dam, much to the current residents' dismay. Tari swoops in to help Kinger back to his feet.
Kinger: What are we doing again?
Tari: You're supposed to be looking for Boopkins.
Kinger: Oh, right! Of course.
Ragatha arrives on the scene.
Ragatha: You alright, Kinger?
Kinger: ........... GAH! Oh, hi Ragatha.
Tari: I think he hit his head on the way down.
Ragatha: Nah, he's always like that.
Kinger: You guys didn't happen to see a gameshow around here, have you?
A few meters out we see Boopkins still looking for a hiding spot as the Troop begins their search.
Boopkins: Maybe I can hide in a pond? No, I'm a fish so they'd likely check the water first. Oh, Maybe I can hide in the trees! They'd never expect a fish to climb trees!
And for good reason. Try as he might, Boopkins can't even get an inch off the ground before falling on his ass.
Boopkins: Oh man......... Oh!
That's when he spots a nearby cave. He carefully peeks around the corner before waddling inside.
Boopkins: This looks like a good spot! Surely they would never expect me to hide in such a deep, dark, quiet............... lonely.......... scary........... depressing cave..........
He rigorously shakes his head as he presses forward.
Boopkins: FOCUS! You're a brave boy. You've faced purging teletubbies, bloodthirsty pirates, and even eldrich monsters! Besides, you only have to be here until sundown. All you have to do is stay calm and-
A random spider lands on his face, looking him dead in the eyes.
Spider: Hello there.
Aaaaand there he goes, screaming like a little girl as he runs deeper and deeper into the cave. Suddenly, he drops into what appears to be some kind of chamber. His screams can be heard all the way at the cave's entrance, where Gangle and Pomni have just arrived.
Boopkins: distant I WANT MY DAAAAAAAD!!!!!
Gangle: He really isn't good with this whole "hiding" thing is he.
They enter the cave and make their way to the chamber, where they see Boopkins running around like a chicken with its head cut off. Gangle manages to hold him still with her prehensile ribbons.
Boopkins: GET IT OFF! GET IT OF GET IT OFF GET IT OFF ! GET IT OFF GET IT OFF GET IT OFF GET IT OFF GET IT OFF!
Pomni manages to smack the Spider off of Boopkins' face. It takes a moment for him to calm down.
Pomni: You good?
Boopkins: Yeah....... Where are we?
Pomni snaps her fingers, summoning a glowing prism of light that illuminates the chamber. It definitely doesn't look like a natural cave formation, given the ancient architecture and dome-like shape. At the center of the room is a large orrery hanging from the ceiling.
Pomni: I think this is some kind of observatory.
Gangle: But why would you have an observatory that's underground?
Pomni carefully surveys the room, finding an opening in the floor. The trio gather around and see some stairs that lead deeper into the darkness.
Pomni: I guess there's only one way to find out.
Chapter 18: Hidden Wonders
It's almost pitch black in the depths of the ruins. Pomni leads the way, lighting their path with a glowing prism as Gangle and Boopkins follow close behind. A mural decorates the walls of the spiral staircase they are descending, with various depictions of planetary systems and constellations. Gangle and Boopkins are both nervous as the trio descends the stairs.
Gangle: I don't thing we should be here, guys.
Boopkins: Yeah. There could be monsters and stuff.
Pomni: If there were any monsters here, Ragatha would've dealt with them before we even came here. Besides, I don't think anything has touched this place since the ten commandments were a rough draft.
They reach the bottom of the stairs and find a hub room with a single pillar at the center. Gangle and Boopkins take a look around while Pomni examines the pillar, wiping away centuries of dust from the crystaline surface. She can see faint lights inside.
Pomni: Hm.........
She taps the surface, and suddenly the pillar lights up with a vibrant tapestry of glyphs and symbols as the entire room begins to glow. Back on the surface we see Kinger, Ragatha, and Tari walking through the woods when Tari suddenly feels something. She is stopped in her tracks, and Ragatha takes notice.
Ragatha: Hey, are you alright?
Tari looks down at her arm to see that it too is reacting to something. Whatever it is, she can feel it emanating from somewhere. Back in the ruins, the trio are awestruck by the vibrant lights that now flood the room.
Pomni: This must be some kind of control console.
She fiddles with the pillar some more and manages to open a door on the far side of the room. They take a look inside and find rows upon rows of shelves holding various tools and devices. There's also some skeletal remains laying on the ground.
Gangle: I don't like this.
Back on the surface, we see Zooble and Jax scouring the area looking for Boopkins and the others. Or at least Zooble is. Jax is just strolling around and yelling Boopkins' name. Zooble shifts their arms into blades to slice through the dense shrubs.
Jax: COME ON OUT LITTLE GREEN, IT'S PAST YOUR BEDTIME.
Zooble: Y'know, this would go by a lot faster if you actually helped.
Jax: What? I'm keeping an ear out. If I hear the little squirt, you'll be the first to know.
Zooble just sighs as they continue to search the area, hacking through the foliage until they end up hitting something solid.
Zooble: What the......?
They clear away the foliage to reveal something made of metal that resembles a large leg. They hack through the surrounding foliage to reveal a torso, followed by a head.
Zooble: Uh...... Jax?
Jax: You found em?
Zooble: I found.......something.
The two are dumbfounded by the sight of a nine foot construct laying in the brush. Intricate imprintations of feather-like patterns and flowing water decorated an aerodynamic frame covering a ball jointed skeleton. Both its arms and legs were tipped with tarnished metal claws, and a sterling crest adorned its helmet and chest.
Jax: Wow.......... Boopkins really gained some weight.
Zooble directs an unamused glare at Jax. They get the joke. They just don't find it funny.
Jax: What?
A few meters away, Tari arrives at the mouth of the cave with Kinger and Ragatha in tow?
Ragatha: So, why this place?
Tari could feel it, a familiar energy hanging in the air.
Tari: Call it a hunch.
In the ruins, Pomni is finicking with the pillar again. She wants to see if there's anything more to this place, but the interface isn't cooperating anymore. It's like she's locked out. Tari's group discovers the observatory and make their way inside, seeing the inner dome now alight with a simulated night sky. She investigates the Orrery as Ragatha hops down. Kinger waits outside while the girls investigate the observatory.
Tari: These ruins......... I've seen ruins like these before.
Ragatha: I'm surprised we didn't find this on our sweep. Wanna come down, Kinger?
Kinger does come down....... flat on his face. Don't worry, he's fine. Near the orrery, Tari finds something on the ground. It's a set of sheaths. Tari goes down to touch it, but the moment she lays a finger on it, a flash of light engulfs the room. Pomni's group notices the flash upstairs. They go op to investigate and see Tari who now has three swords floating in front of her. She waves her hand and the three blades dance around in the air before disappearing. Tari looks down at her hand before noticing Pomni's group.
Boopkins: Woah......
Tari: Boopkins!
She goes over and hugs him as Pomni goes to hug Ragatha.
Ragatha: So this is where you've been hiding out, huh?
Tari: How did you even find this place?
Boopkins: I found it while I was looking for a hiding spot. We think it's some kind of observatory.
Kinger looks up at the simulated night sky above them.
Kinger: Why build one underground, though?
Their chat is interrupted by the sound of explosions from the surface.
Gangles: Uh....... has anybody seen Jax and Zooble?
Yeah. Remember that big robot Jax and Zooble found in the shrubs? It's awake now, and it clearly isn't happy as we see it's now trying to kill the two. Zooble is holding their ground the best they can while Jax just leans on a nearby tree and gives emotional support.
Jax: You're doing great, Zuzu! Give em' what for!
Zooble: OH GEE, THANKS! THAT'S..... REALLY HELPING RIGHT NOW!
Jax: Hey, what are friends for?
Zooble: OH JUST HIT IT YOU MOTHERF-
Just then, Zooble takes an uppercut straight to the jaw and is sent flying. She is caught by Tari who arrives on the scene with Ragatha.
Tari: You okay?
Zooble: Yeah, I'm good. But this thing is built like a tank.
Ragatha: Then ignore the shell and focus on the joints.
The others are watching at a safe distance from the bushes. The robot fires a lazer from its eyes and Tari deflects with a well timed barrier.
Kinger: Whats that guy's problem?
Gangle: It looks like a robot soldier.
Kinger:...............AAA-
Ragatha comes in with a well placed kick to the robot's head before readying her cleavers. Zooble morphs her body into a more durable armored form, creating a mace and a shield from her arms.
Ragatha: Jax!
Jax: On it. Hey Tin Man!
Jax proceeds to inflate his body, his muscles expanding up to three times their size. He then proceeds to shoulder check the robot into Zooble, who follows up with a series of mace strikes.
Zooble: About time!
Tari is up next. She hops off of Zooble's shield and draws her glaive. Right as the robot brings down his arm on her, she plunges the glaive into its elbow and fires off a shot. The robot staggers back as it's arm is blown clean off. Ragatha charges in, slashing at its ankles and severing its other arm. The robot turns to her and readies another lazer blast, but Jax grabs its head and pulls it back. The beam fires into the sky, which can be seen across the forest. Tari comes in and thrusts the tip of her glaive into the robot's neck. She fires off another blast, severing the machine's head clean from its shoulders. The light from its eyes fade as its hulking frame collapses to the ground. Jax deflates and Zooble assumes her original form.
Zooble: YEAH! F*** YOU, YOU PIECE OF JUNK!
Pomni, Kinger, Gangle, and Boopkins rush over to the rest of the group.
Pomni: Are you guys okay?
Jax: A little winded, but I'm alright.
Zooble: Oh f*** off.
Ragatha rolls her eyes while Tari examines the destroyed machine's remains. She recognizes the patterns on the armor as the same ones on her glaive.
Clench: Well would you look at that. Might wanna keep a tab on this place.
Boopkins: Tari, is it safe now.
She looks over to Boopkins with a reassuring smile.
Tari: Yes Boopkins, it's safe.
Back on the ship, we see Caine and Aybel watching the situation on Caine's wacky watch.
Caine: Now THAT was quite the wallop if I've ever seen one!
Aybel: Indeed. Though, I think it's best if I pick the location next time.
Caine: Though I am rather curious about those ruins. I mean, what kind of idiot would build an observatory UNDERGROUND?
Aybel focuses in on Tari, who's still analyzing the robot.
Aybel: Yes........ curious.
Chapter 19: As The Day Goes By
Things have been busy in the Showgrounds as of late. Meggy is getting back into her exercise routine now that she's recovered, SMG4 is back to making memes on the computer, and the Anti Crew is tending to the ship while SMG3 tends to the Café. Tari has also been practicing on some dummies with her new swords, of which I have officially christened "blink blades" for reasons you will see in a moment.
Tari: Alright, second verse same as the first.
With a blade in each hand, she charges towards the first dummy and lands a double cross slice combo. She then throws both blades at another dummy, followed by a third blade in the dummy's head. With a flick of her wrist, the blink blades come flying back and levitate around her wrist as she eyes a third dummy. She sends out all three blades and positions them around her target.
Tari: Now for the money shot.
With a snap of her fingers, she blinks to each of the blades so fast........ that she doesn't have time to actually strike the dummy. She instead stumbles out of the last blink and falls flat on her ass, her head spinning as if she had just stepped off a Tilt-A-Whirl. Yeah, you can see why she still needs to practice.
Tari: Ugh.....
She shakes out of her daze to see Pomni rolling by with a wheelbarrow full of miscellaneous sacks and other items. On its side is a sign saying "Pomni's Products."
Tari: Oh, hi Pomni!
Pomni: Hey Tari. What's up?
Tari: Oh, I'm just getting some practice in. I'm still breaking in the new gear.
She flicks her wrist and the blink blades disappear.
Tari: What you got there?
Pomni: Oh, just some things I picked up during adventures. Bob said he was getting a marketplace set up, so I figured I'd take a look and see if I could set up shop.
Tari: A marketplace?
In the next scene we see Bob setting up a bunch of empty stands, one of which being labeled "Bob's Bargains." The area looks like a farmer's market as Pomni soon arrives with a curious Tari in tow.
Bob: Oh hey guys!
Tari: Hey, um....... what exactly are you doing with.........all this?
Bob: I'm glad you asked! Ever since we opened up that guest house, we've been getting more visitors. We are secure in neutral territory, so the law can't get us. It's nice and private, completely off the radar. So, SMG3 and I have a plan that could set us for life if we play our cards right. I'm setting up a marketplace to attract some merchants to do business and get a good economy, which we can also cash in our treasures. You see, when you're the seller, you conrol the supply. You control the supply, you can make the demands. And so long as we got treasure, we got trade. It's a whole ecosystem of perfectly legal commerce at your fingertips.
TLDR, him and SMG3 are now business partner, putting their business knowledge, bargaining skills, and lack of morals to good use in what basically equates to a semi-legally neutral farmer's market.
Bob: So let's see what kind of demands they're making. What are your demands, Pomni?
Pomni: let's talk supply first. See what catches your fancy.
Pomni goes off to set up shop as Tari is still processing all that dubious business crap. She does NOT know how to respond to all of that.
Clench: Economics is weird.
Over in Bricktown we see Kaizo, X , and Melony waiting by the front desk in the MKPD building. FM and Hal Monitor meet up with them to share any info they've gleaned.
FM: They saw him hitting a few spots last night, mostly pawn shops and antique stores.
Melony: Any word from the shop owners on what was stolen?
Hal: They all describe him only taking specific artifacts, all of which sharing the same characteristics you listed earlier.
Kaizo: What's so special about a bunch of antiques anyways?
X: We know it has to do with that Xelor you encountered on that Ketch. He's specifically looking for these kinds of artifacts, which are the same kind Wario and Waluigi tried to steal last week while powered up by those Xelor signets.
Melony: These artifacts are tied to whatever that Xelor has planned.
Hal: I'm not sure what you have planned, but you better handle this LEGALLY.
Melony: We'll do it as legally as possible, Mr. Monitor.
FM: I'll let you know if I find anything else.
The trio walk out of the building where an anxious Wario is waiting.
Wario: My brother....... is he.......?
X: They ran into him last night several times, but they were unable to apprehend him. He's still at large.
He's relieved to hear that Waluigi is at least still alive. That means there's still a chance of getting his brother back. Wario has been searching for Waluigi ever since last week's incident. Melony places a hand on Wario's shoulder, trying to comfort him with a reassuring smile. She can't help but feel bad for Wario, even if he is an asshole. The Wario Bros may be con artists, but they're still.......bros.
Melony: We'll get him back Wario. I promise.
He releases an exhausted "WAA" before pulling out a gun.
Wario: Alright. I'm-a gonna go steal something.
Over in Omnia we see SMG1 and SMG2 having a discussion with Saiko and Aybel about Tari's orb.
Aybel: It can control Meta, you say?
SMG1: We've done the tests. This artifact can take Meme energy and refine it into its purest form.
Saiko: I thought only you "guardian" guys could do stuff with Memes.
SMG1: We harness and control RAW Meme energy. Meta energy is more refined.
SMG2: Since this universe is made up of Meme energy, it's basically everywhere, and there are actually various methods of accessing ambient meme energy from the world around around us.
Aybel: You can utilize this ambient energy if you draw it from the environment, a donor of higher power, or your own spirit by concentrating it into Meta via Conduction, Divination, and Meditation respectively.
SMG1: You're surprisingly knowledgeable on this.
Aybel: My line of work requires me to know how the world around you works, whether it be the mundane or the fantastical.
SMG1: You said she "sensed" some more ruins, correct?
Saiko: Yeah. It was some kind of observatory.
SMG2: And this is also where she found her new weapons?
Saiko nods. The two SMGs look at each other for a moment.
Saiko: So...... what does this have to do with Tari?
SMG1: Well....... her connection with the Ancient Metarunners is apparent. Me and two will need to examine these ruins for ourselves. In the meantime.......
He picks up the orb and hands it to Saiko.
SMG1: I feel like she'll need this more than we will.
The sun is setting as Saiko and Aybel arrive at the Showgrounds. Pomni has just set up her shop over at the Marketplace, and Tari is retiring to the Castle. She heads over to the game room and plops down on the couch beside Meggy, who already has a six pack of soda at the ready.
Meggy: Busy day?
Tari: Of sorts, yeah.
Meggy tosses her a can.
Tari: So, you're finally back on your routine, huh?
Meggy: Yep! I'm still on the One-Ups, but the doctors finally gave me the all clear. How about you? You still being a good host over at the Guest House?
Tari: Yeah! A lot more......"exciting" than I thought, but things are going great.
Meggy: Good to hear. Have you been practicing? I know I haven't been here much with all the doctor's appointments.
Tari: It's coming along nicely, actually. Ragatha makes for a great sparring partner.
Meggy: Oh really?
Tari: Yeah! We've been.....um....... that's more of a private matter, actually.
Meggy: Is that so......
She smirks and gives Tari the bombastic side eye.
Tari: Not THAT kind of private! It's just........ she has this hobby of hers that she'd rather keep private.........
Clench: TLDR, it's not drugs and it's not sex.
Tari: Right. Either way, it's not my place to talk about what others do in their free time without their permission.
Meggy: Hmmmm.......
Oh look, Saiko just came in! And she has the orb.
Saiko: Meggy, don't pester her. If it's private, it's private.
Meggy: Alright, alright. So, what did One and Two have to say?
Saiko: Well, they're pretty much done with this thing.
She tosses the orb to Tari.
Saiko: They're gonna go check out those ruins you found the other day, see if they can find anything there.
Tari stares at the orb. The patterns were alight with opalescent energy. Taking a look outside, we see a bus drive up on the road in front of the Showgrounds. Off the bus steps a teenager wearing a black skull hoodie, cargo pants, and beanie. She has pale skin, purple hair and lilac eyes. She pops in her headphones and plays "As Above, So Below" on her phone, hauling her dufflebag over her shoulder.
Driver: Stay safe.
???: Bite me.
Taking Flight: Chapter 20: One Step At A Time
It's about 9pm as Tari lies awake on a couch in Saiko's apartment, examining the orb they had found on that fateful day in the woods.
Saiko: Hey there.......
Saiko chimes in from the bedroom.
Saiko: You good?
Tari doesn't respond right away. She just kept staring at the orb. Saiko can tell there's a lot on Tari's mind. She comes over and takes a seat next to her.
Saiko: More dreams?
Tari: No, just........thinking.
Saiko: About what?
Tari sits up. She looks like she just came back from the dead.
Tari: Do you remember the party? The one where Mario tried to take over the world in the name of Pizza. On that day I thought it was just the same random mayhem we're used to. Then I ended up plowing Pizzaface through the rafters and.......
She pauses, looking down at the scars crawling up her arm and chest.
Tari: It's so weird to think that's when it all started. The day I finally decided to stand on my own. And now here I am, soaring through the sky, fighting bad guys and slaying monsters just like the rest of you......... but now there's just so much happening, so many things that remind me just how little control I have. Even with all this power I'm still not........ good enough.
Saiko scoots over and places her arm around Tari.
Saiko: Tari, we still still need to know our flaws and limits to rectify them and better make use of our strengths. That's what makes us human. It also takes a lot of strength to acknowledge those weaknesses.
Tari: Really?
Saiko: Yeah! Even when you were afraid, you always went out of your way to show kindness and empathize with others. You shouldn't have to be a doormat, and it pays to toughen up when you need to, but that doesn't make your kindness a weakness. You just neec to do right by yourself as much as you do right by others. That sounds "good enough" to me.
Tari looks up to Saiko and smiles. She rests her head on her shoulder as they put on the TV.
Over on SMG3's ship, we see Melony practicing her swordsmanship on the top deck. She lays to waste a mannequin that's wrapped in bandages and wearing a clockwork mask. Kaizo watches as she brings out an identical mannequin - the fifth one judging by the bits scattered everywhere - and resumes her onslaught. Memories flash back to the Ketch, when they first encountered that Xelor. With every mannequin she fells, she hears those exact same words......
Rhode: Well done, my puppet.
Melony's eyes turn black, and the seeds on her cheels turn into red markings. With a mighty yell she unleashes a powered sword strike, reducing another mannequin to smoldering pieces. She goes over to the detached head and crushes it under her foot, panting like a beast as she goes for another mannequin. That's when she feels a hand on her shoulder. She aggressively turns and holds her blade up to Kaizo's throat, but he is unfazed. She lowers her blade, her eyes and marks reverting back to normal.
Melony: Sorry. I'm just....... I got carried away and.......
Kaizo: I know. I wanna see that Clocksucker's head on a pike too. Just take it easy until then, alright.
Melony: Alright........ I didn't hurt you, did I?
Kaizo: Well, one more inch and you would've taken my head off but...... I'm alright.
Their conversation is interrupted by some odd sounds coming from the fields. They both scan the area and notice someone else on the grounds doing some practicing of their own. They both come over to see Pomni standing in front of several targets. She summons a slender prismatic spike, lines up a shot, and hurls the spike into the first target. She then creates three more spikes and launches them into the second target one after another, each one landing within the central circle. Lastly, she conjures a large spike and hurls it like a javelin into the last target, splitting it in half.
Melony: Woah.
Kaizo: Not bad.
Pomni: GAH!
Kaizo's compliment catches Pomni by surprise.
Pomni: Uh...... hi.
Melony: That was SO COOL!
Kaizo: I gotta say, jester. I didn't know you had that kind of fight in you.
Pomni: Oh, well, I wouldn't really say I'm a fighter, but it does pay to be prepared.
Melony: Oh! We should set up a sparring session. We can have Tari and Ragatha join us too! It'll be great!
Pomni: Yeah, I don't think Ragatha would approve of me getting into fighting just yet.
Melony: Why not?
Pomni: Well....... She receives special training from Aybel. I don't know what that entails or what it's for, but she's always been insistent that we don't need that kind of training. She's always been a bit "overprotective" of us.......... even before we lost Kaufmo.
Kaizo: Kaufmo?
Pomni: Yeah. I've only been in the Circus for about a year or two, so I didn't know him TOO well, but he was a great guy. He actually helped me discover my prism powers. Then about a month ago there was an incident and........
She pauses. Melony can see a potent sadness in her eyes.
Pomni: he didn't make it.
Melony: Oh....... I'm sorry to hear that.
Pomni: Yeah...... now Ragatha is insistent on us leaving the more dangerous stuff to her and Saturday. And now every time I ask if I can help her take down whatever "boss" Caine has lined up for us, she just plops me down on the sidelines........
She clenches her fist and takes a deep breath.
Pomni: .......But the Circus is my home too, and the other Carnies are my family. I wanna be able to defend them too. You get what I'm saying, right?
Melony kneels down and places a hand on Pomni's shoulder.
Melony: I understand perfectly. We lost an old friend of ours too about three years ago. It was that loss that drove me to master my powers so I could better protect my own friends and live the life I wanted to live.
Kaizo: You're tougher tan you look, kid. There's no need to hide it.
Melony: Maybe Ragatha will change her mind if she sees how capable you are. You could start practicing with me and Meggy.
Pomni: You'd really help me with that?
Melony: Yeah! I think it's worth a shot.
Pomni gives a warm smile.
Pomni: sigh....... Alright. I guess we can give it a shot.
Melony: YAAAAAY!!!!! We'll start first thing in the morning!
A few meters out we find the mysterious teen has set up a spot in one of the tents. Y'know, the ones that were used as decoration for the Showgrounds. One of them is Red and Blue, and the other is Purple and Yellow. You'd think the crew would at least take them down, but nope! They're just there. Anyways, she has a pretty generic "angsty teen" setup with a mattress, some BIONICLE figures, posters for Cryoshell and Demon Hunter, and an old X-Box One hooked up to a TV. She lays down on her bed, occasionally looking over at a stool with an old monkey wrench sitting on top. She can almost hear her father's parting words before she left.
????: It's a bit of a "good luck charm" of mine and I want to pass some of that luck onto you. Because black magic or not, you are still my daughter. I'll keep your room nice and tidy for whenever you come back from this whole "self imposed exile" of yours.
She smiles. Even after everything she did, everything that's wrong with her, she still had that idiot of a dad that cared for her.
Uzi: I love you, dad......
The smile slowly fades from her lips as she roles over and goes to turn off the light.
Uzi: .....But I can't go back.
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(This is a bit out of order but it was in my head and I needed it out fast so I didn't lose it. For context all of the kids (so Lily, Lil Coding, all four Haltmann siblings, and Timmy) ended up in the same place together without anyone else, got found by the Cutie Mark Crusaders, and their group has somehow ended up in possession of an airship and mostly figured out where Ozzy and Gary's hideout is. Lil Coding has been extremely unhelpful the whole time and making some pretty over-the-line statements about Root, and is getting on everyone's last nerve. This scene is when somebody besides Lily (who has been arguing with him the whole time but can't get through his thick skull because he's calling Bias due to her usual relationship with Root) finally snaps and calls him out on not just his current bullshit, but his behavior ever since the end of Raging Riptides.)
(Also keep in mind that everyone in this scene except Lil Coding and Barney are currently ponies and everyone except the two of them and Lily currently have hooves. Because Equestria.)
“Okay, I have had it with your shit the last few weeks, you stupid cat!”
Everyone on board whirls around in surprise to see that Hex of all people is the one who spoke, and she’s now stomping up to the target of her ire, who makes the mistake of opening his mouth again.
“Wha-”
She briefly pauses her approach and slams a hoof down onto the deck to interrupt him, “Nope! It’s HMG2’s turn to talk!”
“Yes, we get it, you did the “good-aligned cheap knockoff of a villain gets manipulated by a trick-ass bitch” first. What, do you want a medal!? This might be hard to believe, but not everything has to be about you and your problems!
“Now, I’m not saying you don’t have a right to be mad about what Root did -though you probably have the least reason to be this mad out of everyone who was directly involved, quite frankly- or that you have to forgive her! Hell, I was pissed at her too for a while and I’m pretty sure Vee’s at least still on the fence. But at least we’re not bitching and sulking while there are lives on the line or saying a literal disabled and abused child deserves whatever that omnicidal maniac’s doing to her-seriously, what the fuck, man!?
“I was willing to put up with whatever hangups you’re dealing with back home where we weren't mid-crisis and the adults could deal with you, but they’re not here right now and you’ve apparently made it your mission to be as much of a burden as possible, and I can’t FUCKING take it anymore! So you can take your Messiah Complex and Catholic Guilt and SHOVE 'EM UP YOUR HAIRY PURPLE ASS!!!”
By now she has him backed against the ship’s railing and is right up in his face, “Now shut up, get over yourself, and either help us or find a corner to sulk in and stay out of our fucking way!”
She spins around and stalks off, not looking back as he falls over stiff as a board, and sees all the other kids staring at her, “Anypony else have some grievances they need aired?”
Scootaloo ducks back down behind the wheel in a panic while everyone else vigorously shakes their heads, which prompts Hex’s mood to do a complete 180 back to her usual quiet cheer, “Great! Let’s keep going then.”
While most of them go back to keeping the airship running (albeit now visibly unsettled), Lily can’t help but keep looking at her sort-of cousin in confusion, “The hell was that?”
“Well, she is based on SMG4,” Barney notes, “I suppose it makes sense that she inherited his temper.”
WOW. WOAH. OKAY, I LOVE THIS A LOT.
The idea of Hex being the one to call LC on his bullshit is such a nice idea, I love it. The fact that she gives him no room to argue, points out all the flaws in his shit, and still manages to get her point across is flawless. Also, the idea of this pony gradually backing up a cat, that is probably taller than her at the moment, up against the railing is hilarious.
OUGH YEAH,, her being based off of SMG4 too,, man that temper can be deadly when unleashed. At least someone's knocking some sense into LC!!
#smg4 ocs#a snake in horseland#the pony arc#hex haltmann#lil coding#lily#barney haltmann#it's always the quiet ones
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Wearing socks with sandals in inkadia is practically asking to get beaten to death by a bunch of inklings
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Wearing socks with sandals in inkadia is practically asking to get beaten to death by a bunch of inklings
#smg4#splatoon#most inklings: *looking at tari* ok we will make an exception because she looks very polite but she's on thin fucking ice#extra funny because i think there's actual official footwear in the games that's literally socks with sandals?#looked it up there's exactly two in splat 2 (the red and yellow fishfry sandals)#and 7 in splat 3 (the returning fishfrys. the three dadfoot sandals. the luminous delta straps. and the trifecta sandals)#(not any of the other delta straps tho. just the luminous.)
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Finally actually starting A Snake in Horseland
So after he realizes that Silver Sulfur is actually Ozymandias Toad of course runs to the castle to warn everyone. Antivirus, Mira and Amy are already there because they (AV and Mira, not Amy (obviously)) detected Root's code signature randomly disappear. The Crew puts two and two together and teleports to the place where Toad saw him, and they see him and Garyboy going through a portal. Mira tries to rush them, but Gary shoots one of his fanged Super Suction Ears at her which forces her to duck and slide to dodge it, slowing her down enough for them to escape and close the portal behind them (the plunger gets cut off in the process but Garyboy isn't particularly fussed about it. He's a hydra and a code being, it'll grow back). There's a moment of stunned silence until...
"And nothing of value was lost!"
(...yeah Lil Coding isn't going to be particularly likeable for a good chunk of this)
After Vee smacks him upside the head so hard he ragdolls to the other end of the alley they're in, Antivirus reassures everyone that he can reopen the portal since it was closed so recently, though since he doesn't recognize the server on the other side he can't send them to exactly the same location within that universe that the villains went.
------
Meanwhile, in the Grid's Fairly Oddparents universe, the Anchors and the twins (plus Cosmo, Wanda, Harmony and Mina, since they're package deals with their respective Anchors) are storming the Crocker Cave following a lead from Jimmy Neutron that the extended Syndicate are planning something with an upgraded version of Calamitus's (blatant copy of Jimmy's) interdimensional portal gate that can potentially bypass the Grid's firewalls. They arrive just in time to see Crocker, Plasmius, Vaati, Lokoko and Admin Gohma travel through the portal, with Plasmius noticing them and destroying the controls with an ectoblast so they can't use it to follow them (they're not stranded btw, Gohma has access to the portal command and can bypass the twins no problem. That's what the gate upgrades were based on in the first place).
Fortunately, they have magic on their side! Magic that is apparently also able to bypass firewalls because Fairly Oddparents Fairies Are O.P. (when they're not being hampered by Da Ruelz at least). So Timmy wishes for everybody in the room except the twins (because they have to stay behind since they're still supposed to be keeping the Grid's servers secure) to go to the same server the Syndicate did.
Unfortunately for both groups, Timmy's wish and the Crew going through Antiviruses portal just so happen to occur simultaneously, and the combination of Admin Code, Fairy Magic, and Equestrian Magic (because if you'll remember, the MLP:FiM universe changes anyone who enters it into an MLP-based species unless it can't figure out what to turn them into) causes both groups to get scattered to several different landing points across Equestria. So now they not only have to find Ozzy, Gary and the Syndicate team, but also each-other.
While dealing with being in unfamiliar bodies.
And dealing with Lil Coding's shitty attitude if they happen to be in the same group as him.
And being on a time crunch because the code entities can feel Root's signal repeatedly briefly come back online, each time weaker than the last and never long enough for them to pinpoint an exact location.
Fun! :)
#smg4 ocs#a snake in horseland#the pony arc#toad#ozymandias#root#garyboy#antivirus#mira#amy rose#lil coding#vee haltmann#timmy turner#denzel crocker#vlad masters#vlad plasmius#vaati#queen lokoko#admin gohma#cosmo and wanda#mina reynolds#harmony#olympus#tartarus#the grid#mlp fim#it begins... finally....
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Trimming down Roger L. Jackson's entire Mojo Jojo speech in The Powerpuff Girls Movie was a CRIME.
The man said all that in ONE BREATH for crying out loud!
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One thing I love about KH3 is how it gives Sora the option to do these more mundane, everyday activites, and how this makes his disappearance at the end of the game feel a bit more tragic (to me, anyway).
Sora hasn't really been a normal kid in...well, several years, I suppose. But in KH3 he's doing things like: getting a phone for the first time and taking selfies + picture of his friends, snapping photos of new locales he visits like one would when traveling for recreation, sledding down a snowy mountain, learning how to cook, dancing at a festival with strangers, playing a video game, etc. These are all optional diversions and minigames of course, but they're slightly less video game-y in the sense that they involve very normal activites that a real person would do, and aren't something like...hanging by a balloon helping a stuffed bear get honey from a tree, as an example.
For once, he's getting the chance to enjoy life's simpler pleasures. But it's almost like he's finally getting the opportunity to do these things again precisely because it's his last chance to. I feel like this is conveyed in a really poignant way when Re:Mind's ending reveals that Sora decides to spend what little time he has left with a good friend he's unintentionally been neglecting, engaging in simple, human activities like watching fireworks or watching the sunset.
And I can't help but imagine that, after he disappears, Kairi and Riku go looking through his phone for clues...only to come across his photo roll, documenting his journey throughout KH3. Silly selfies, photos of the dishes he's made with Little Chef, beautiful vistas, captured moments of joy and whimsy. And it's the last remaining record of the normal life that destiny simply won't let him have.
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A scorpion, not knowing how to swim, asked a frog to carry it across the river. “Do I look like a fool?” said the frog. “You’d sting me if I let you on my back!”
“Be logical,” said the scorpion. “If I stung you I’d certainly drown myself.”
“That’s true,” the frog acknowledged. “Climb aboard, then!” But no sooner than they were halfway across the river, the scorpion stung the frog, and they both began to thrash and drown. “Why on earth did you do that?” the frog said morosely. “Now we’re both going to die.”
“I can’t help it,” said the scorpion. “It’s my nature.”
___
…But no sooner than they were halfway across the river, the frog felt a subtle motion on its back, and in a panic dived deep beneath the rushing waters, leaving the scorpion to drown.
“It was going to sting me anyway,” muttered the frog, emerging on the other side of the river. “It was inevitable. You all knew it. Everyone knows what those scorpions are like. It was self-defense.”
___
…But no sooner had they cast off from the bank, the frog felt the tip of a stinger pressed lightly against the back of its neck. “What do you think you’re doing?” said the frog.
“Just a precaution,” said the scorpion. “I cannot sting you without drowning. And now, you cannot drown me without being stung. Fair’s fair, isn’t it?”
They swam in silence to the other end of the river, where the scorpion climbed off, leaving the frog fuming.
“After the kindness I showed you!” said the frog. “And you threatened to kill me in return?”
“Kindness?” said the scorpion. “To only invite me on your back after you knew I was defenseless, unable to use my tail without killing myself? My dear frog, I only treated you as I was treated. Your kindness was as poisoned as a scorpion’s sting.”
___
…“Just a precaution,” said the scorpion. “I cannot sting you without drowning. And now, you cannot drown me without being stung. Fair’s fair, isn’t it?”
“You have a point,” the frog acknowledged. “But once we get to dry land, couldn’t you sting me then without repercussion?”
“All I want is to cross the river safely,” said the scorpion. “Once I’m on the other side I would gladly let you be.”
“But I would have to trust you on that,” said the frog. “While you’re pressing a stinger to my neck. By ferrying you to land I’d be be giving up the one deterrent I hold over you.”
“But by the same logic, I can’t possibly withdraw my stinger while we’re still over water,” the scorpion protested.
The frog paused in the middle of the river, treading water. “So, I suppose we’re at an impasse.”
The river rushed around them. The scorpion’s stinger twitched against the frog’s unbroken skin. “I suppose so,” the scorpion said.
___
A scorpion, not knowing how to swim, asked a frog to carry it across the river. “Absolutely not!” said the frog, and dived beneath the waters, and so none of them learned anything.
___
A scorpion, being unable to swim, asked a turtle (as in the original Persian version of the fable) to carry it across the river. The turtle readily agreed, and allowed the scorpion aboard its shell. Halfway across, the scorpion gave in to its nature and stung, but failed to penetrate the turtle’s thick shell. The turtle, swimming placidly, failed to notice.
They reached the other side of the river, and parted ways as friends.
___
…Halfway across, the scorpion gave in to its nature and stung, but failed to penetrate the turtle’s thick shell.
The turtle, hearing the tap of the scorpion’s sting, was offended at the scorpion’s ungratefulness. Thankfully, having been granted the powers to both defend itself and to punish evil, the turtle sank beneath the waters and drowned the scorpion out of principle.
___
A scorpion, not knowing how to swim, asked a frog to carry it across the river. “Do I look like a fool?” sneered the frog. “You’d sting me if I let you on my back.”
The scorpion pleaded earnestly. “Do you think so little of me? Please, I must cross the river. What would I gain from stinging you? I would only end up drowning myself!”
“That’s true,” the frog acknowledged. “Even a scorpion knows to look out for its own skin. Climb aboard, then!”
But as they forged through the rushing waters, the scorpion grew worried. This frog thinks me a ruthless killer, it thought. Would it not be justified in throwing me off now and ridding the world of me? Why else would it agree to this? Every jostle made the scorpion more and more anxious, until the frog surged forward with a particularly large splash, and in panic the scorpion lashed out with its stinger.
“I knew it,” snarled the frog, as they both thrashed and drowned. “A scorpion cannot change its nature.”
___
A scorpion, not knowing how to swim, asked a frog to carry it across the river. The frog agreed, but no sooner than they were halfway across the scorpion stung the frog, and they both began to thrash and drown.
“I’ve only myself to blame,” sighed the frog, as they both sank beneath the waters. “You, you’re a scorpion, I couldn’t have expected anything better. But I knew better, and yet I went against my judgement! And now I’ve doomed us both!”
“You couldn’t help it,” said the scorpion mildly. “It’s your nature.”
___
…“Why on earth did you do that?” the frog said morosely. “Now we’re both going to die.”
“Alas, I was of two natures,” said the scorpion. “One said to gratefully ride your back across the river, and the other said to sting you where you stood. And so both fought, and neither won.” It smiled wistfully. “Ah, it would be nice to be just one thing, wouldn’t it? Unadulterated in nature. Without the capacity for conflict or regret.”
___
“By the way,” said the frog, as they swam, “I’ve been meaning to ask: What’s on the other side of the river?”
“It’s the journey,” said the scorpion. “Not the destination.”
___
…“What’s on the other side of anything?” said the scorpion. “A new beginning.”
___
…”Another scorpion to mate with,” said the scorpion. “And more prey to kill, and more living bodies to poison, and a forthcoming lineage of cruelties that you will be culpable in.”
___
…”Nothing we will live to see, I fear,” said the scorpion. “Already the currents are growing stronger, and the river seems like it shall swallow us both. We surge forward, and the shoreline recedes. But does that mean our striving was in vain?”
___
“I love you,” said the scorpion.
The frog glanced upward. “Do you?”
“Absolutely. Can you imagine the fear of drowning? Of course not. You’re a frog. Might as well be scared of breathing air. And yet here I am, clinging to your back, as the waters rage around us. Isn’t that love? Isn’t that trust? Isn’t that necessity? I could not kill you without killing myself. Are we not inseparable in this?”
The frog swam on, the both of them silent.
___
“I’m so tired,” murmured the frog eventually. “How much further to the other side? I don’t know how long we’ve been swimming. I’ve been treading water. And it’s getting so very dark.”
“Shh,” the scorpion said. “Don’t be afraid.”
The frog’s legs kicked out weakly. “How long has it been? We’re lost. We’re lost! We’re doomed to be cast about the waters forever. There is no land. There’s nothing on the other side, don’t you see!”
“Shh, shh,” said the scorpion. “My venom is a hallucinogenic. Beneath its surface, the river is endlessly deep, its currents carrying many things.”
“You - You’ve killed us both,” said the frog, and began to laugh deliriously. “Is this - is this what it’s like to drown?”
“We’ve killed each other,” said the scorpion soothingly. “My venom in my glands now pulsing through your veins, the waters of your birthing pool suffusing my lungs. We are engulfing each other now, drowning in each other. I am breathless. Do you feel it? Do you feel my sting pierced through your heart?”
“What a foolish thing to do,” murmured the frog. “No logic. No logic to it at all.”
“We couldn’t help it,” whispered the scorpion. “It’s our natures. Why else does anything in the world happen? Because we were made for this from birth, darling, every moment inexplicable and inevitable. What a crazy thing it is to fall in love, and yet - It’s all our fault! We are both blameless. We’re together now, darling. It couldn’t have happened any other way.”
___
“It’s funny,” said the frog. “I can’t say that I trust you, really. Or that I even think very much of you and that nasty little stinger of yours to begin with. But I’m doing this for you regardless. It’s strange, isn’t it? It’s strange. Why would I do this? I want to help you, want to go out of my way to help you. I let you climb right onto my back! Now, whyever would I go and do a foolish thing like that?”
___
A scorpion, not knowing how to swim, asked a frog to carry it across the river. “Do I look like a fool?” said the frog. “You’d sting me if I let you on my back!”
“Be logical,” said the scorpion. “If I stung you I’d certainly drown myself.”
“That’s true,” the frog acknowledged. “Come aboard, then!” But no sooner had the scorpion mounted the frog’s back than it began to sting, repeatedly, while still safely on the river’s bank.
The frog groaned, thrashing weakly as the venom coursed through its veins, beginning to liquefy its flesh. “Ah,” it muttered. “For some reason I never considered this possibility.”
“Because you were never scared of me,” the scorpion whispered in its ear. “You were never scared of dying. In a past life you wore a shell and sat in judgement. And then you were reborn: soft-skinned, swift, unburdened, as new and vulnerable as a child, moving anew through a world of children. How could anyone ever be cruel, you thought, seeing the precariousness of it all?” The scorpion bowed its head and drank. “How could anyone kill you without killing themselves?”
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Had a funny idea for an optional recruitable character that could potentially be "added" to Equinox's Journey as either part of the "The Dragon that Faces the Earth and Sea" update or some more minor, less-plot-important update down the road;
Alexander, a bounty hunter/anti-imperial vigilante of some notoriety who's been operating out of a tavern on the edge of some kind of mystic forest that's a major area in the game. He's a somewhat tall human man with brown hair (including a short but stylish mustache) wearing a mostly grey-blue classic D'n'D-Ranger-type outfit made for both protection and mobility, and primarily wields some kind of magitech crossbow...gun...things (since from what I've seen in the posts so far I figured it would be the kind of game to have stuff like that).
He's pretty obviously a Beyonder like Root, seeing as he can't remember anything prior to being found half-mauled by a monster in the woods by the Tavern owner (other than his name at least), he doesn't quite fit the game's artstyle... aaaand almost all of his dialogue is in stereotypical mid-2000's gamer slang.
...Yeah it's Swag. He got noclipped like Root because that seems like Exactly the sort of thing that would happen to him. Unlike Root his amnesia wasn't the result of the transportation itself but due to his injuries and trauma from that mauling I mentioned. He's going by Alexander because I'm making that his real name (remember; when he first met Chris in the first Guards 'n [REDACTED] episode he refused to give his real name and demanded he be addressed by his Gamer Handle), and I figured that 1: it made sense that with the amnesia he'd potentially remember his given name but not his preferred alias, and 2: if he still went by Swag it'd be a Dead Giveaway for who he is and where he came from. Instead his somewhat generic appearance and name allow him to just read as a Funny Metajoke Character.
The reason he's against the Espi Empire boils down to "Of course the Empire's evil, all empires are evil. It's logistically impossible for one government to rule that many nations without committing numerous horrific ongoing atrocities" He had no idea about the cultist stuff but considering the setting he isn't surprised by it when they get him up to speed after his recruitment sidequest is done and he joins the party.
(just thought it would be funny. feel free to ignore if it doesn't work with the story you're going for)
OH THIS,,, I LOVE THIS,,
Yeah, I'm definitely going to add Alexander/Swag, especially because Root would get the feeling she knows him. But she doesn't get why, so she keeps her mouth shut, especially because of her tolerance to the slang he uses, meaning to her, he is someone she probably knew of her in her past. Still, doesn't mean she doesn't get a little annoyed..
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AU where Meggy gets turned into a vampire and Mario gets turned into a werewolf
They were bit in completely separate incidents and are keeping it secret from everyone, including each other and the rest of the Crew.
Luigi's the only one who knows that Mario is a werewolf because he was there the night Mario got bit (well, nearly mauled to death is more accurate).
Meggy initially doesn't have anyone who knows about her being a vampire, at least until Whimpu happens to stumble across her while she's feeding.
Mario can shift voluntarily into either a very-big-but-seemingly-normal wolf form, himself with wolf features, or a big scary wolf-man form, but it takes him a while to properly figure out how both because he and Luigi have to figure it out with no help and because he's an idiot.
He's also got an uncontrollable fuckoff-Massive wolf form with a mind of its own that he turns into when there's a full moon.
He's got some wolf mannerisms now, obviously
While Meggy does have the classic vampire weaknesses, they're thankfully the manageable versions (so the sun does hurt her but sunscreen deals with it, mirrors and cameras only don't work if they have silver, needs to drink blood but can still eat normal food no problem (unless it as garlic obviously), etc.) since for plot reasons I need her to actually be able to keep it a secret.
She can shapeshift into a variety of animals, not just bats, and one form in particular makes all the shit she has to deal with now almost worth it: Vampire Squids are a thing that exists, which wouldn't matter for most vampires with how situational it would be (due to vampire squids specifically being deep sea squids) but in her case it means she gets to have her Swim Form again (though modified a bit since vampire squids have webbed tentacles with tooth-like spikes on the underside)
Also I know that vampire squids are actually octopi but let me have this
The vampire and werewolf that turned them are still at-large and causing trouble in the Mushroom Kingdom (including making more vampires and werewolves, many of which are less inclined than Meggy and Mario to not follow their new darker impulses), bringing all manner of monster hunters out of the woodwork to deal with the problem (some, like the Belmont Clan, are more competent and altruistic than others, like the Guards (because of course those two would want to get involved in the latest violent trend)), which is a large part of why the two of them are keeping themselves a secret
Another big part is of course the fact that Anti-Shroomy Exists
It also turns out that Bob was a big-name monster hunter a few hundred years ago, and shockingly he's easily the most competent of all the hunters in town, so the Bros, Meggy and Whimpu are understandably extremely wary of him right now
and as if the situation wasn't bad enough, Demon Peach has somehow managed to crawl her way out of the Creep Pit and is prowling the Kingdom (surprisingly stealthily for something of her size and disposition, I might add)
more details and (hopefully) some pictures to come in later posts
#vampire squid vs wereplumber au#yes i know the were- prefix is the human half so the name is inaccurate#it's branding leave me alone#mario#werewolf!mario#luigi#meggy spletzer#vampire!meggy#smg4 whimpu#monster au#vampire#werewolf#bob bobowski#princess peach#smg4 shroomy#smg4 anti shroomy#bob's actually specifically after the vampire that bit meggy#not because he knows they bit her but because they cost him a job as a real estate agent and he witnessed them slaughter hundreds of people#which is why he became a monster hunter for a while way back then in the first place#(he Really liked that real estate job)#not connected to any of my other aus
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Would sidee order happen in the meme squid au
Technically yes since it's Splatoon Canon but unless I decide to give it the "If Mario was in..." treatment it wouldn't really be relevant beyond Smollusk and Acht getting added to the extended cast.
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Equinox's Journey
The game that Root ended up falling into in the Small Town Hero AU. It's the developers copy, and she was hastily added in the newest patch for all servers.
It would follow the story as Hilde(F)/Xavier(M)/Arun(NB) as they traverse the lands in the hope of ending the fued between Kaiah and Mar. Root came in the newest update after the protagonist was expelled from the Espi Empire after trying to reveal its corruption.
It's a game similar in style to Genshin Impact, but.. better.
Hilde/Xavier/Arun
The protagonist of Equinox's Journey. The protagonist is choosable and customizable, but the creator's version (the one Root fell into) is coded to have all three. Their standard looks are brown hair, blue eyes, and a standard mage's outfit.
Hilde is the female protagonist.
Xavier is the male protagonist.
Arun is the gender neutral protagonist.
The protagonist was originally the Celestial Mage of the Espi Empire, keeping it safe from Kaiah and Mar. However, after stumbling upon the emperor plotting with cultists to allow monsters to invade, the protagonist rebelled. They were banished following this, though the people who believe them (other playable characters) come with.
In the new update, called 'The Dragon that Faces the Earth and Sea', follows the protagonist as they head to Shorefront to meet the 'Dragon' that can go against the minions of Kaiah and Mar without being hurt.
Ardi
Ozymandias's opposite in this world. He's a giant snake made of rocks, known for causing earthquakes and splitting the ear from his mere presence. He's Kaiah's favorite creation, and often clashes against Ersa.
Ersa
Leto's opposite in this world. She's a giant sea shake made of water and seaweed, known for causing typhoons and giant whirlpools with a flick of her tail. She's Mar's favorite creation and often clashes against Ardi.
The Dragon that Faces the Earth and Sea
The update follows the protagonist as they make their way to Shorefront and get to witness the 'Dragon of Shorefront' in action. It's a beautiful dragon that oddly has no wings. It's scales are a pristine white. Soft white horns twister and curled, almost like the branches of a grand tree, and around the smaller branches were pure white vines. The creature's claws were long and sharp, yet scuffed and dull.
Once the monster is defeated, the protagonist introduces themselves the dragon, who transforms and reveals herself to be called Root Mallory. She's very reluctant to help out the protagonist, and a lot of it is trying to convince her. During this, Root's inability to remember her past comes to light, and the protagonist (and fandom) believe her to be a Beyonder, someone who came from another world.
However, she and the protagonist eventually uncover a plot from a noble, and it gives Root the amount of trust she needs to agree to leave Shorefront and come.
The protagonist places a spell so that Shorefront is protected from the monsters, and the party sets off. But not before being met by a Wandering Arcanist and a Wandering Merchant, both in cloaks. The Wandering Arcanist warns the protagonist that they may have more things to worry about in the future. More pressing than the Espi Empire and Kaiah and Mar.
After that, they vanish. There are some people who comment that Root looks pretty seemingly similar to SMG4!Root, but their concerns are drowned out. After all, the update is great!
(But the developers don't even know who the hell the Wandering Arcanist and the Wandering Merchant are meant to be.. they don't even have models about them..! Oh, well. At least people like the update.
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media: the very serious brooding asshole character is actually super deep and complex
me: ok
media: the dumb joke character is actually super deep and complex
me: ghhogoohhh. ohhhh oh mygod. oh m. oh. are you kidding me. oh i am going to throw the fuck up over this
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Look on the bright side this means that Clench waking up is definitely a Tari-centric thing so either that means we're going to get a Tari lore arc in the future or more Tari-centric videos and i think that's great - superluigiglitchy
true
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I can see Granny Current being a Great Turf War veteran that had fought alongside Cuttlefish. It's unconfirmed if she was a part of the Old Squid Beak Splatoon, but she was definitely a monster on the battlefield.
She still is even after a century.
God help you if she approaches you with a weapon.
Hell Yeah
Similar to Craig (well, pre-dehydration Craig) she can't produce ink nearly as well as she used to, but that doesn't mean much when a nifty little invention called the shotgun exists.
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