Emotions at 2:00 AM on a Thursday Morning.

It's 2:10 AM on a Thursday Morning. My Orgo exam 3 is going to take place in a little over 8 hours. I'm sitting here with all these angry emotions. I'm so angry with myself. I'm so angry with life. I'm so angry with everything I do. I'm so angry with my english professor. I hate my english professor. I hate my english professor because of the grades I get in her class. I work so hard on her assignment and in return I get low to failing grades. I'm so angry. I'm so frustrated. Why is she treating me like this? Does she not she me work hard? If only she can see the effort and work I'm putting into this bullshit of a system called education she will see how much effort I put into my work. It's 2 AM and I'm still at the library studying for my organic chemistry exam. Am I sleeping? No. Am I gaming? No. Am I doing things I'm not suppose to be doing? No. Here I am bottled with emotions looking for an outlet to release this anger. I'm so angry at the world. I'm so angry with myself. I'm so stressed. I'm so tired. I'm losing the fight and my perseverance is waning. God please give me strength and wisdom. Please help me power through this week. 

On turning 19 - a year before two decades.

It's 2:47 AM on the 29 October 2014, only 13 minutes shy of 3:00 AM, when the 28th of October is officially over this year -- at least on the west coast. Birthdays -- days of our birth that we celebrate annually. There's just something special about this day. As much as I tried to contain my estranged feelings towards this day, by planning to go about my Tuesday regularly, I couldn't. It felt scary but exciting to know that I was going to turn 19 on this day. I was only one year away from becoming two decades old. I'm almost an adult -- I'm old. Twenty years ago, my parents were just about this age. Twenty years ago, my parents immigrated across from China to America in hopes of finding a better life and opportunity. Twenty years now, they've done it and accomplished the "American dream." Reflecting on my journey so far, I feel so unaccomplished compared to them. I'm a second year college student who isn't even sure if I want to pursue medicine anymore. The past year has been bittersweet. A year ago I learned that I was cheated on by one of my closest friend or at least I thought. I became estranged from many friend groups and discovered that I was an introvert. Trust was also another thing I lost and am slowly learning again. My identity through my faith in God has grown stronger. AGAPE was introduced into my life and through that I found my community again. My relationship to my parents grew even stronger. So much has happen over the past year and it has helped me to grow and strengthen my character. I can only hope that as I approach two decades that I will use this year to strive to do more and to foster great and loving communities. So, cheers to a year before turning two decades. 19.

Fourth of July with the greatest group of friends. 

How our beliefs of what love is and what love should be get us into trouble.

"Love is a wonderful experience. It’s one of the greatest experiences life has to offer. And it is something everyone should aspire to feel and enjoy. [...]Because you need more in life than love. Love is great. Love is necessary. Love is beautiful. But love is not enough."

Candid photos are always better.

Chilling on the rooftop after hot potting and just catching up!

I’d like to buy you flowers, And take you out to a nice dinner over looking the river downtown While our hands awkwardly touch from time to time; I won’t know whether to kiss you and you won’t know If my intentions are honest but I swear that they are. Or we could spend an hour in your living room Watching Chopped on your couch, Miles of space between us as if Zeus would smite our bodies if we touched. And when my mom calls me to ask for an errand, I’ll stutter step Between a handshake and a hug; You’ll laugh while my face burns red because you’ve been there before. Or we could be this moment, Right here, Right now. And I could be trembling underneath the weight of these words, And you could take them to heart, Letting them sink like a stone into the bottom of your chest. I’ll reach for you, And you won’t turn away.

"I’ll Reach For You" - Nishat Ahmed (via sickwithsyllables)

I wonder what’s the most obvious shit I could write about You in a poem so it sounds good when You read it out loud. Here’s the cliche ‘I love you’ And the ‘I hate missing you on the weekends’ But I miss you more on the weekdays if you must know. Now that autumn’s here I’m pulling out all my old sweaters From their plastic fetters in my closet. A cycle of seasons couldn’t touch how the sleeves still breathe your bargain-brand shampoo, And there are enough hairs here that I could make them into a bracelet of you. Did that sound messed up? Well I’m so messed up because I messed up When I forgot to call you after your big exam last night. I’m sorry because you’re so often the space in my mind, I forget about the world outside. When I was biking outside in the crisp September afternoon, Our song hit me like a train through my headphones. I stopped in the middle of the street to try and get a grip on all of my feelings. I think of when we decided to get drenched in a rainstorm in the summer When I wash the dishes for too long And my hands have wrinkled under the water. This new house won’t feel like home Until you come over and we break in the back porch Laying out and telling stories in the dark. The most important thing I’ve learned in college Is that correlation does not imply causation, So these signs don’t necessarily imply that I miss you; But I think they do. I think they do.

"Correlation Does Not Imply Causation (I Miss You)" - Nishat Ahmed (via sickwithsyllables)

Nice brain teasers

Test your brain with these cheesy (life of the) mind teasers from Forbes.

Present day Indiana Jones!

Boston.com:

Research scientist and National Geographic Emerging Explorer Albert Lin gallops across the steppes of northern Mongolia as he searches for Genghis Khan’s tomb and other archaeological sites.

(Photo by Mike Hennig)

This was written by a little 6 year old girl. I babysit her and her two sisters - Rebecca and Mia, and before they go to bed they all sit down and write little prayers to God.

This was the one that Hollie wrote last time, and it absolutely broke my heart. I mean, she’s six years old and she thinks she’s not beautiful. That’s not right. But she is beautiful, absolutely gorgeous. She’s got golden blonde hair, bright green eyes and a smile so beautiful that you melt a little inside when you see it.

When their mum got home, I showed her Hollie’s prayer, and she was devestated. She’s a nurse so she’s seen a lot of horrible things, but I have never seen her like that. And so I had to do something.

If you’re reading this, and if you have the slightest bit of a heart, please reblog this, so that I can prove to Hollie that she is beautiful, and that she is so special, and that God made her exactly the way she is because He knows that He made her perfect. Please give this beautiful little girl the confidence she deserves.

this made me cry. i don’t really care that i’m a strict 1d blog. everyone needs to reblog.

Little girl, you're wonderful just as you are.

Favorite quotes by Walt Disney ~