#i’m so fucking lonely and i think only you can fix it unfortunately
Note
did u know when I type my tag for you (🦌) tumblr always suggests that it should be “🦌naked” which I did not realize until literally right this minute is supposed to be “buck naked”?
this website will find absolutely any way to be relentlessly horny lmfao
-xoxo 🪻
not gonna make a joke, not gonna make a joke
#thanks for asking 💕#🪻#ivy i love you so much#the universe is so cruel to keep us apart#literally sat here sobbing rn#wish you could be here#i’m so fucking lonely and i think only you can fix it unfortunately#i’m gonna fight!!#i love you i love you i love you <333333333333#it’s the only thing i know when i’m this fucked up#i wanna be held so fucking bad and you’re a million miles away#distance makes the heart grow fonder?#unfortunately the most truest statement i’ve ever heard#i love you forever and ever 🥺🥺🥺🥺
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Took Him Long Enough
Tech x reader
Tech is alone for the evening so he decides to run out and explore the underground marketplace on Ord Mantel. Due to an unfortunate accident, he’s been exposed to some ~mood altering substances~ and finds himself getting a little too hot under his armor. He’ll be fine if he can just make it home, where he’ll be alone, right? Yes, this is just another shameless flavor of sex pollen fic for the sluts. (It’s me, I’m the sluts)
NSFW, 18+ only
Warnings: rough sex, face fucking, dubcon if you’re REALLLLY squinting
Notes: ok so this is my first attempt at writing this kinda thing. My first fanfic actually so I’m super happy to receive any constructive criticism or notes on what you liked/disliked as far as style goes. A little bit of background- I always thought it seemed kinda uncomfortable for them to live on the marauder so I imagine that there’s an apartment above Cid’s that she rents out to them.
He actually made it back- his condition is worsening with each passing second. His goggles begin to fog up as he stumbles into the stairwell at Cid’s, giving her an awkward wave and a strained smile, trying not to look suspicious. The most he gets is an eye roll, a promising sign.
He all but trips over himself as he finally passes the threshold into their apartment. He was grateful the rest of you had left to run some errands for Cid- allowing him some privacy.
If only he had gone with you, he would be in a lot better shape than he is currently.
Truthfully he was working on a project before this. He had ventured out into the marketplace hopeful to find an essential part to repair Omega’s holopad. He had excitedly given it to her as a gift once he had saved up enough. Inevitably the thing met its doom at the hands of Wrecker. He hoped to surprise her when everyone got back.
It was a simple fix, but he couldn’t help himself from wandering into adjacent shops when something uncommon piqued his interest. He actually can’t quite remember what he was doing when he was exposed, all he had were blurred memories of broken glass jars and panicked apologies. His head was already spinning as the shop owner urged him to leave and seek medical attention for the overdose, clearly not wanting authorities catching wind of his side business.
Tech didn’t need a doctor, he needed to get home.
He briskly weaves through the crowded streets. He does his best to appear unbothered even as he was painfully aware of the growing discomfort behind his codpiece.He brings his fist up to his teeth to stifle any whines threatening to escape, the other still clinging tightly to that damned part for the holopad.
He feels a small pang of shame as he finds his thoughts drifting to you: your soft lips, the curve of your hips and the warmth between your thighs.
He fantasized about how the evening would have gone had you stayed behind. All the lonely nights he spent pining for you in his bunk or from his seat in the cockpit could not match the searing desire for you he felt now.
A crushing feeling of shame shook him out of his fantasy. You were his friend, it was indecent for him to think of you this way. Not only that, he felt it was embarrassingly hopeful. Despite the many less-than-subtle attempts by his brothers to get you two alone, he simply could not find the nerve to make a move.
Just the thought made him choke as he ducks into the next alleyway, shaking his head. He has enough to worry about right now, you were out and he could easily take care of himself. He just has to make it home…
He drops to his knees in the entryway. His limbs tremble beneath him as he struggles to catch his breath. He groans through his teeth as he notices just how hot the skin beneath his armor was. Wasting no time, he begins to strip off his clothes, pulling his right glove off with his teeth as his left hand fumbles to remove his belt. He utters a groan of relief once he is down to nothing but his pants and his boots. Finally alone.
Until he hears someone calling him from across the apartment. He freezes with hand at his waistband when he hears your voice.
He is mortified, sure you had left with the others. It was simply impossible to face you like this. What would you think if you wandered out into the hall to discover him on the ground, half-naked and…excited. What could he possibly say to explain himself?
“Tech, you better say something if it’s you or i'm coming out here swinging!”
He clasps his hand over his mouth to stifle a groan. Your footsteps grow louder as he frantically weighs the pros and cons of making a quick escape, only to find the decision has been taken out of his hands.
You’re standing over him and he hesitantly glances up at you. His eyes rake hungrily over your body. The exposed skin of your thighs, the way your shorts hug your hips, your arms folded beneath your breasts and your sweet smile. You looked so happy to see him.
“Fuck”
It’s all he can manage when he finally meets your gaze. Your face softens with concern. Something was definitely off.
“A little less eloquent than usual, Tech” You teased, crouching in front of him. “What happened to your clothes?”
It was so hard to keep his composure. He really liked the way his name sounded when you said it. “I thought you would be out with the others…why are you here?
You cock an eyebrow as you look him over
“Because I live here; and I was waiting for you.”
You gesture vaguely to the living space behind you a considerable amount of tools and equipment were beginning to pile up.
“We have a lot of unfinished projects just waiting for me to trip over.”
Truthfully you stayed behind to get some time alone with Tech. You often suggested improvements to equipment or to the marauder so you could get him to yourself. You’re pretty sure he likes having you around but you’re not quite sure how much deeper that goes. Even if he wasn’t interested in you romantically it was still nice spending time as a friend.
He sits back on his heels to adjust his goggles and catch his breath.
“This is humiliating to admit but- from my understanding I’ve been inadvertently exposed to some kind of illegal substance.” shuts his eyes tightly in concentration before continuing. “I believe it’s commonly used as a party drug…in much smaller doses.”
He manages to choke out enough details for you to piece together what might have happened, blushing once you get a thorough visual of the side effects.
He assumed you would be disgusted. He could see no other outcome than this forever damaging your relationship after seeing him this way. He fully expected you to walk out the door, disgusted, as he internally mourned the future he had pictured with you.
Instead you’re just concerned. You move closer to him, pushing aside any awkwardness to check his vitals.You need to make sure he’s safe. You gently place the back of your hand against his glistening forehead, doing your best to ignore the obvious bulge in his pants.
“Tech, I’m so sorry. ”
His breath catches in his throat as you set your fingertips against his pulse. You could feel the muscles in his neck tensing up at your touch.
“Physically you’re going to be fine”
You offer a lighthearted smile, hoping to alleviate some of the embarrassment. You didn’t quite feel bold enough to offer him ‘help’, but you had to admit that the way he was looking at you was more than enough to tempt you.
“If it makes you feel better, you aren’t the first person I’ve seen like this. It’s actually pretty easy to overdo it with this stuff- not that you really had a choice”
Tech was speechless for the first time that he can remember. What could he possibly say to you in this moment? He absolutely could not share with you any of the thoughts running through his mind.
He wills himself to move, to speak, to do anything but sit there helplessly. He finds himself raising his left hand to meet yours, still pressed against his neck. The other finds its place below your chin, his thumb tracing the outline of your lips.
Your eyes widen in surprise at the bold gesture. His thumb stills and the hazy smile leaves his eyes when he realizes what he’s doing.
“Sorry” He flashes an apologetic look but makes no attempt to separate from you.
“This is not like me, I promise I’m not some kind of deviant-”
“I know you aren’t” You cut him off as you move to take his hands in your own. “Here, get up. Maybe we should get you into your bed…you could sleep it off?” You stand and pull him to his feet, hoping to restore some dignity to the sweaty, shirtless, mess of a man before you.
You give him a moment to steady himself; his muscles faintly soften as you absentmindedly stroke his palm. Maybe this was what he needed? Any physical touch seemed to be providing a degree of relief.
“Does this help?” your voice is gentle as you try to ignore the fluttery feeling in your stomach. You took note of how much bigger his hands were compared to yours. They were calloused and scarred from his work yet still had a gentleness to them as he held onto you.
“In a way” he answered thoughtfully.
“Though if I can be candid with you it only seems to fan the flames, so to speak.”
Did he mean just the physical touch? Or does he mean you? It’s possible that he's desperately seeking relief and you are the first warm body he’s run into. You push those thoughts aside, re-centering your focus on Tech.
“I could get you a glass of water? Maybe a shower would help”
He paused a moment. His brows knit together as he considered his options.
“Perhaps a shower would help, If you joined me?”
You expect him to laugh, to assure you he was joking, but he does not rescind the offer. His previous hang ups about pursuing you are silenced as his desire reaches a breaking point.
He steps in closer to you and you tilt your head back to look up at him. Has he always been this tall?
His amber gaze scans your features from behind his lenses.
“Unless that’s not your preference?”
He raises his eyebrows, anxiously awaiting your response. He knew it was a longshot but in this moment he felt that there is no other woman he would rather be with.
“Me? Tech, are you sure you know what you’re asking? Maybe I’m misunderstanding-”
“Are the others wrong in their assumptions that you have-” he was sifting through his thoughts for the appropriate words “-romantic feelings for me?”
He tentatively squeezed your hands, hoping he hasn’t crossed a line.
“If so, I'll ask you to forgive me. After my exposure you have completely consumed my thoughts. Although truthfully, this is not much different from any other moment since we’ve met”
Excitement buzzed through your body at his admission. It was all you could do not to pull him close to you and kiss him all over.
“No. They aren't wrong” you admitted, shoulders tensed as you anticipated his next move.
Tech gently lifts your chin to meet his gaze.
“I can ensure the experience to be mutually pleasurable”
His voice is low and sweet as he cups your face.
You’re suddenly aware that he has been slowly walking you toward the lounge area behind you. Matching every step you take until you find yourself stumbling into the couch.
“I apologize for being so direct but I would love nothing more than to have you right here in this moment. If you’ll indulge me?”
He kneels in front of you, slowly sliding his hands up your thighs. His touch is excruciatingly soft. “I’ll do anything, Love. I would do anything you ask”
“I’m begging you, mesh’la” he lays his head in your lap, letting out a contented sigh.
“I need you”
He trails soft kisses from your knee to the hem of your shorts. His fingertips trace the soft skin of your inner thighs.
“You’re absolutely sure? This is what you want?” You confirmed one final time before giving in to your own desires.
“Yes” He breathes “This is what I want. Every single day this is what I want.”
You can’t help but take amusement in his melodramatic performance. It’s certainly over the top, and completely unnecessary as he’s already won you over long before this.
You bend forward, brushing your fingers into his hair as you invite him into a gentle kiss. He eagerly accepts, He brushes his tongue softly across your lips before gently moving past them.
You took a moment to breathe him in. An earthy musk mingles with his feverish sweat. Clearly he had been up early today working on the ship. He moans softly into your mouth, kisses becoming more fervent. His tender touch sends tingles through your body as he explores the bare skin beneath your shirt.
His attention drops to his hands as he hooks his fingers into your waistband. He retreats to look at you for final confirmation before quickly sliding your shorts down your legs.
He watches you squirm as he teases his fingers over your underwear. He slips his fingers beneath the lacy fabric, stamping light kisses on your inner thighs.
“Does that feel good?” He coos, having already found a comfortable rhythm between your lips.
You nod your head in response, digging your fingers into the grainy fabric of the couch.
Satisfied with your answer, he gently slides his hand down to your entrance.
“You are remarkably wet already” He pants, a cheeky smile flashed briefly across his lips.
Tentatively, he slides his middle and ring fingers inside of you, cursing as you clench around his digits. His thumb resumes his pace between your folds as his fingers slide in and out of your core. His cock strains against his pants at the obscene sounds of his fingers between your thighs.
Having collected a considerable amount of your juices on his hand, he reaches into his pants, in desperate need of his own stimulation. He groans as he begins brazenly thrusting into his slick palm.
Even as his need for release rings louder in his ears he holds out long enough to be sure you’re ready for him. He hooks his arm around your thigh and drags you to him, bringing your clothed heat to his mouth. Impatiently he pulls your panties to the side and leans in to taste you.
Under ordinary circumstances he would have gladly spent hours between your thighs, in fact he frequently caught himself daydreaming of just that. His mind would wander to you during any lengthy repairs to the marauder, usually becoming enough of a distraction to warrant a quick break to clear his head.
Tech finally pulls back from you with a groan as the pain from his erection becomes unbearable. He stands and plants his boot next to you on the couch. He extends his arm to steady himself against the wall behind you- still desperately pumping his length.
“Please” He mouths, only to guide your hand toward his discomfort.
“Of course, Tech.” Your mouth waters as you take him into your hands. You begin to slowly work his shaft. A twinge of satisfaction pools in your center as you listen to the string of obscenities drawn out by your touch.
You lean in to slowly lick the length of his shaft before taking him into your mouth. He bucks his hips in response, no longer making an effort to conceal his cries.
“Yes, just like that” his pupils are blown wide as he watches you bob your head up and down, whispering unintelligible praises between breaths. He presses his hips forward, urging you to take him deeper into your throat.
“Fuck, please y/n, I need to feel you”
He begs as he gently slips his hand behind your head to grab a fistful of hair. He holds your head in place as he rhythmically thrusts into the back of your throat. You gag as he quickens his pace, desperately seeking relief by pushing deeper into your throat.
You gasp when he pulls himself out of you, taking a moment to catch your breath.
“Oh god, I’m so sorry- I wasn’t thinking! I just-” He panicks. This is what he was afraid of, he had hurt you. He was sure he would never forgive himself as he watched you wipe at your smeared mascara.
“No, no. I’m fine.” you reassure him as you softly slide your hands up his thighs, resting them at his hips. You looked up at him meekly as you made your request
“I want you to use my mouth, Tech”
Your words elicited a visible shudder from the man, who only hesitated a few moments before repositioning himself at your open mouth. “anything you want, darling”
With your permission, he resumed his roughened pace, being mindful to allow you occasional breaks to catch your breath.
“You look…so...pretty…with my cock in your mouth” he groans between thrusts, his hand planted firmly behind your head as he vehemently chases his release. After a final few, deep thrusts he slowly pulls himself out of your mouth and kneels in front of you.
He searches your features as he brushes your hair out of your face, lightly cradling your head in his hands.
“Still doing alright?” his voice is heavy and his breaths are unsteady, all of his focus is now on you.
Before you answer, you raise your hands to his face, repositioning his goggles that had slid down the bridge of his nose.
“Yes” you begin pleading “Please, Tech. I need you to fuck me”
More than happy to fulfill your request, Tech lowers himself between your thighs and goes to remove your underwear.
“Your shirt” He mutters, fully focused on sliding your panties off to reveal your bottom half. You comply, swiftly removing your top and tossing it behind you.
With your heat sufficiently exposed, he draws his eyes to your chest. You feel the warmth of his breath against your lips as he leans in to meet them. A calloused hand greedily cups your breast as he sighs softly into your mouth. He lightly brushes his fingertips over your nipples, making you shiver.
He eases you onto his length, scrutinizing your features as you stretch to accommodate his girth. The scorching heat of your core sends a tremor through his body.
He allows his head to fall back, a hiss escapes through gritted teeth as he slowly bottoms out. You barely have a moment to adjust to him before he really begins rutting into you. Tension visibly dissolves from his body as he finally finds the friction he was aching for.
His pace is relentless, spurred on by your lecherous cries. He holds you firmly in place by your hips, fingers sinking deep into your soft flesh. It’s not long before a fervid sensation creeps behind your skull, causing your walls to clench around him.
Picking up on your body’s signals, he bends forward and cages your head between his arms, purring softly into your ear.
“Go ahead, pretty thing. Cum for me”
His words send shockwaves through your body as you reach the peak of your orgasm. He stays close, holding your shaking thighs and riding out the aftershock with you.
Satisfied with his work, Tech carefully repositions you. He pulls your back to his chest, supporting you in his arms. Carefully he lowers you down onto his pulsing length. His hand moves to lightly grip your throat, steadying you as he bounces you in his lap. His eyes close as he falls into a feverish pace, gasping and whimpering into your hair.
“I’m so close, love. Where can I…”
“Inside.” you gasp as you steady yourself on his forearm. “You can cum inside me”
His grip tightens around you, growing more flustered as he approaches his climax.
He plants an unexpected kiss on your temple as his thighs begin to tremble. You feel him pulsing inside you, on the brink of his long anticipated release.
A guttural moan escapes his lips as he paints your insides, embedding himself into the warmth between your thighs. The muscles in his arms twitch around you as his pleasure overtakes him. You listen to his labored breathing as he nestles his face into your neck.
He keeps you close as he comes down from his high, finally finding reprieve from his condition. Neither of you spoke as you listened to the sounds of each other's breath, slowly drifting back to reality.
His fingertips glide over the vulnerable flesh of your neck before he dips down to plant soft kisses below your jawline.
“Thank you” he hums, gently tracing shapes along the length of your arms. You stay like this for a while, finding comfort in each other's closeness.
He sits back into the seat and adjusts your position in his lap. Reaching beside him, he grabs one of the throw blankets and wraps you both in its warmth.
“Are you comfortable?” He asks, checking to be sure you’re fully covered.
“Very”
You lay your head against his chest and hear his heartbeat steady.You feel yourself drifting off, only awoken when he finally speaks again.
“I hope you don’t think less of me after this”
His voice is unsteady as he pulls you closer to him.
“I don’t regret our encounter but I am deeply ashamed of my behavior”
Embarrassment bubbles inside you at his words. You had let yourself believe this was more than a quick resolution to his discomfort. You felt foolish for believing it all, of course it’s not his fault but you should have known he would have said anything to get relief.
The lump forming in your throat stopped you from answering, the silence only broken by the steady pounding in his chest.
“I had hoped our first time might have been much more intimate.” He continues, oblivious to your inner narrative.
“I was planning the perfect evening for us- granted that I ever gained the courage to ask you”
You leaned to the side so you could look up at him. He was already looking down at you through half lidded eyes.
“Although, I think we might have just circumvented that milestone” he adjusts his goggles and offers a bashful smile.
“I think it was long overdue” You give a quick squeeze to his hand. “It was nice, and I was happy to help”
He nodded then set his chin on the top of your head, squeezing you just a bit tighter
“Agreed.”
————————————————
When the others got back you all gathered at the bar to get caught up on their usual shenanigans, Cid never sent them on a mission that would go smoothly. Tech immediately presented Omega with her newly fixed holopad. After a quick talk about the importance of keeping her things out of Wreckers destructive reach, Omega quickly ran up to her room stating she had a lot of reading to catch up on.
You returned to the bar to find that Tech had already gotten you a drink, a subtle gesture that did not go unnoticed. You thanked him and reached your hand out to give his a soft squeeze.
“Oh my god, I knew it!” You are all startled by Cid’s sudden outburst.
“Knew what?” Hunter questioned, clearly already annoyed with her after the unexpected terrors he faced on the last mission.
She nodded in your direction, a smug grin creeping across her face.
“They finally did it- Look at ‘em! Pay up, Killjoy” she turns to Echo with an outstretched hand
He looks between you and Tech, then rolls his eyes as he digs through his pockets for any loose credits. “You two couldn’t have waited another 14 rotations?” he grumbles as he places the contents of his pocket on the bar in front of him.
“I’m not sure what you’re referring to” Tech tries to play coy but he is thwarted by the flush on both of your faces.
“He’s talking about you two finally hooking up. Took ya long enough!” He laughs as he chugs the rest of his drink. “HA! I didn’t think you had it in ya Tech!”
He gives Tech a rough shove on the shoulder as you bury your face in your hands.
“You are as subtle and eloquent as ever, Wrecker” He says through gritted teeth.
Hunter brings his hands up to rub his temples, finally putting a stop to the nonsense “Okay, enough, all of you! You’re giving me a migraine”
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wip tease number 7 i think
Keith hates it when Shiro is right. It’s the worst thing in the world. Second only to coming home after a really long day, looking forward to the leftovers you know you have waiting for you in the fridge, only to discover that some asshole ate them and now you have to go to jail for murdering them.
Ugh.
It really does double suck, because working as a ‘lube technician’ — unfortunately the hilarity of that title wore of quick when Keith discovered that it was, in fact, there so the company could justify paying their workers less than what was standard for mechanics — is kind of the worst, and Shiro is too smug about it to feel the appropriate amount of pity for Keith. It means he spends a lot of time in his lonely, boring apartment after work instead of bothering Shiro and Adam (like he is wont to do) because he’s too proud to admit that yeah, maybe he should have done something else with his certification.
“Kogane! Get your ass over to hoist three, there’s a customer waiting!”
Huffing, Keith drags himself to his feet, preparing himself for yet another person who does not understand that no, oil changes cannot be done with the cooking oil you pick up from the store, yes motor oil is expensive, Keith does understand that, and no, he has no control over the prices and if they could just stop throwing a temper tantrum that would be great.
Keith finally makes it over to hoist three, where a beat-to-hell blue Toyota is parked. A lanky guy sits criss-cross-applesauce on the hood. He wiggles his fingers in a little wave.
“You must be Keith? I’m Lance. My car is fucked up.”
Keith can’t help the amused quirk of his lips. “I would imagine it is, yes. Any ideas what’s wrong with it?”
Lance shakes his head. “Nope. Only that it makes this meeeeerfp noise if I start it without saying several decades of the rosary. Abuela says it’s because God is punishing me for making dumbass decisions, but somehow I think it might just be car troubles.”
The stupid joke startles a genuine laugh out of him, which make’s the customer — Lance — grin, brown eyes sparkling.
“If you make that noise for me again, I’ll check it out,” Keith teases.
Lance winks. “If I make it twice, can I watch?”
“Three times and I’ll think about it.”
Lance makes the noise three times without even a second of hesitation, leaning back on his hands and tilting his head slightly.
“That work for you, Greñudo?”
“Nah, I just wanted to see if you’d make a fool of yourself at my command.”
That makes the slightest flush dust Lance’s cheeks. The sight of it makes something flutter in Keith’s belly.
Gods above. Is he flirting? Like, genuinely? And successfully? He’s never done that before. That’s insanity.
“Alright, round to Keith,” Lance concedes. He hops off the car and digs around in his pockets for the keys, handing them to Keith, looking a little apologetic. “And as much as I really would like to watch you do — anything, I gotta get to work. Can I swing by in a few hours to get a diagnostic?”
“Sure thing,” Keith says, schooling his face back into a mask of professionalism. He’s got a job to do, after all, and Lance is just a cute customer. Keith’ll fix whatever needs fixing, and then he’ll never see Lance again.
Shame, though.
“Thanks! See ya.” He does that dorky little wave again as he leaves, humming as he makes his way out of the garage and down the parking lot.
Keith isn’t going to lie — he watches him go.
#vld#voltron#keith#keith kogane#lance#lance mcclain#klance#pre klance#flirting#flirty keith#flirty lance#mechanic keith#mess lance#modern au#wip#broganes#fluff and humour#getting together#tall keith#my writing#fic fragment#brown-eyed lance#fic#longpost
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6, 9 and 11 for the WIP asks? :D
Current WIP is... Mostly, I've been working on a sort of MDZS fix-it at the moment, so here's for that:
6. Does this chapter/fic have any twists that you’re proud of?
At the moment, there are some minor twists in there, but.... there are a few I'm looking forward to writing, and especially to publishing.
9. What is your favorite dialogue you’ve written so far?
It's so long, forgive me, but I really do love this bit:
“Wangji,” Lan Xichen says, “what are you looking to achieve?”
Lan Zhan looks at his brother. “Morality is the priority. One must uphold the value of justice. Be compassionate, ethical, and just. Help the lonely, the weak, the desolate. Assign blame only where it is due.” The message is clear: by refusing to help Wei Ying, his brother would be betraying Lan’s most closely-held teachings.
Closing his eyes, Lan Xichen looks down. Takes a deep breath.
He, too, knows that this is wrong. That should things continue as they are, it would be an injustice.
“I will consider our next course of action,” he says.
“Next course of action is going back to Yiling and punching that asshole in his stupid, smug, arrogant, self-sacrificing, secret-keeping face,” Jiang Wanyin says from the door. Though his eyes, cheeks, and nose are still red from crying, he seems considerably more put-together than he had when they’d dragged him back here.
“While I understand this new information can be upsetting, I doubt violence, in this particular situation, would be ideal,” Lan Xichen says, smiling.
“It’ll make me feel better.” Walking towards the door, Jiang Wanyin picks up his sword.
“Where are you going? It’s the middle of the night.”
“Yiling,” he replies.
“For?”
“I said I’m going to punch him, I fucking meant it.” Putting his sword on his belt, he grabs his qiankun pouch as well and ties that on. “I want answers. I want to hear his excuses for not telling me. I want—I want to know why!” He looks at them. “He owes me this, at least.”
“At least wait until tomorrow,” Lan Xichen says. “You need sleep. I’ll have an early breakfast brought to you both so you can leave in the morning.”
“But—”
“He will still be in Yiling tomorrow.” Lan Xichen looks at Jiang Wanyin. “Impulsive actions, especially violence or cruelty, may yet have consequences one can’t foresee. Get some sleep, eat a meal, and leave with a level head tomorrow morning.”
As much as Lan Zhan also wants to leave right away, his brother has a point.
“What do I get by delaying this?” Jiang Wanyin asks. “I—”
“A night’s sleep,” Lan Xichen says. “The benefit of forethought and time to process.”
“We can arrive in the early morning to sort this out quickly,” Lan Zhan says.
Eyes glinting, Jiang Wanyin asks, with a disturbingly pleased grin, “Early morning, you say?”
Lan Zhan nods.
“Do you think we can make it there by Chen-shi?” he asks.
“Not before its start,” Lan Zhan says, “but well before its end, should we depart early enough. Why?”
“He doesn’t wake up before Si-shi if he can help it.” Marching back into the bedroom, Jiang Wanyin waves. “Good night. I’ll see you both tomorrow morning.”
The door closes loudly behind him.
“Well… As far as unfortunate motivations go, there are far worse,” Lan Xichen says. “Mn.”
11. What scene are you most hyped for this chapter/fic?
Oh, man. I've done a lot of dabbling in these but really, I'm most hyped to get to the turning point in the cultivation world, where everything is starting to go right... It's going to be. Interesting.
Thank you so much for asking and I'm so sorry about the delay--life has a way of doing the distraction thing and I got very, very sidetracked.
<3
#stevie rambles#i guess#here i am#and im sorry it's not yoi#i have yoi in the works but it isn't what i was writing at the time of the ask#i promise tho#it's coming#tnot rewrite going v well
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tw self harm//suicidal
idk why sometimes i just get these incredible lows. i think it’s probably because i’m getting my period but still this sort of extreme melancholy doesn’t seem like a normal part of a cycle. but maybe that’s just bc i’m already feeling these things anyways and hormones make everything more intense. sometimes i just think ab how despite my best efforts and the agonizing process of telling myself things will get better! this will pass! it’ll all look different in a year! i’m still so deep in the shit. nothing changed. sometimes when i think of certain bad things or painful memories or what someone did the only thing i can think of is slitting my wrists or blowing my head off. i don’t wanna feel sad anymore i don’t want to be like this i just don’t know how to fix it bc it’s not mental illness it’s literally my life. and i try to change my circumstances and take care of myself. i distance myself from unhealthy places and people. i try and try for years and years i’ve been trying and hanging by a thread and i’m sooooo exhausted and disillusioned and sometimes i just don’t feel anything at all. like i’ve been sad for the past two days and it’s weird because i’ve had a good trip and i’m ready to “go home” but fr i don’t even know what that means. i don’t even have a home. i will literally end my shit if i go back to my hometown and where i live now there is no one and nothing. i’m so lonely. i’m lonely everywhere, it’s not like i have anyone at home either. so like what does it even mean that i wanna go home???? where exactly do i wanna go???? not back home. not back to where i work now. not back to where i was last year or the year before that. i’ve just been liminal for so fucking long and i’ve lost everyone over the years and no where and no one is anything anymore. i’m tired of hovering in the periphery of life and not ever really being a part of it. idk i just feel like there comes a point where you stop lying to yourself and that’s when you accept a life of defeat, void of everything you want and need to be marginally content, or you just fucking send ending it. but that’s a really hard thing to do so i guess i’ll just keep fucking going and soon enough i’ll be 37 and reflecting on the fact that 10 years has, again, come too quick and nothings fucking changed and i’m still just a colossal fuck up of a person who’s only purpose is to fill some space and provide the mediocre, lonely, sad, unfulfilled, useless, unwanted, mundane and unfortunate undesirable comparison to those lucky enough to experience some semblance of a normal existence with a balance of good and bad and happy and sad. fr everyone always thinks of some miserable sorry freak they’d rather kill themselves than be and like hey. i’m your gal
#personal#dni#rantings and ravings of a pre menstruating fucked in the head brain damaged weird loser#i’ll be better when the blood comes#and the cycle shall spin on#till menopause do us part
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I had a dream. Where I realized I have made the wrong decision and went back to fix it. The only reason was friendship. My dream self decided to stay because of the connections she made and she doesn’t to lose them.
Me on the other hand, those connections were just made. Maybe that’s not even true. I was the one, no one called. Invited, the second or even the third choice. People were not comfortable around me. I was a weird person. Even though admitting hurts so much, I have to say it… I lost nothing. Not like the dream. Now, seeing myself like that made me realize that one of the reason why I left was that I felt lonely in a room full of people I see every day. And it’s my fault. I don’t trust myself, I don’t love myself or even like myself myself. I guess seeing them having fun hurt deeply. Because maybe just maybe I could have been there, maybe I could have had actual friends this year. But that’s the thing. All of them are “what if”. And you can’t predict life. I’ve tried to predict every semester I had and it went totally different and I got disappointed of myself more and more. You cannot know how will your plans and semester will go on. And that’s why, I am afraid. More even. I have months of No planning. Full of unknowns. This was going to happened after I graduated but it just started little earlier then I expected. I guess I would have feel the same. People told me how they lost connections over the years. Maybe that’s what gonna happen with everyone. Anyways, I think what I’m trying to say is that. The only reason I wanted to stay was because maybe I could have had better connections. That’s it. But you cannot stay in a place where you cannot see any improvement. I hate and bored about reassuring myself constantly and reminding that I made the good choice. But I feel like I have to do it again and again or the nightmares will surround me again. Death. It’s so weird. We forget it everyday even though most of us are scared of it. And we continue to suffer in our life. So we can have a successful future and in that road we do things that we don’t like and we don’t change it. We don’t appreciate the beauty of ourselves and the world. Money is a fucked up thing and we need it unfortunately. But it shouldn’t take away the biggest thing that we have. Love of life.
I compared myself to others so much and I’m still struggling. I have lot of work to do. And I hope it gets good. I hope I made the right choice. But I have to remind myself constantly. Even if I didn’t, it’s okay. You don’t, I don’t have to walk in the same path as everyone else. Our path to our dreams and goals are different. It’s so hard to believe that but I’m trying my best to believe it fully. I am training myself to see the beauty of life and myself. I’m still not fully relaxed and I’m extremely anxious. And I have to accept my current situation. Because trying to forget about it and tossing to aside never worked. I’m trying something completely different this year. I’m trying to do things differently. I don’t wanna keep doing things that didn’t made me move on. Obviously it didn’t work and it was so hard for me to accept that. So now, new mindset. Instead of pushing people and. Feeling away, I’m gonna sit with it. Feel my current body, heart. And hopefully let it go.
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badboy!yeonjun x innocent!reader
word count: 21k
angst, fluff, smut
when your teacher asked you to tutor in the beginning of the school year, you were hesitant even then.
you knew that it meant your lunch period and one study hall for the day were gonna be completely booked, helping younger kids grasp the basic idea that the mitochondria was the powerhouse of the cell.
but then you met one young girl desperate to pass her first test in october and knew your teacher had gotten you, sending a small, defeated smile her way as you gave her the okay to put your name on the list.
you didn’t expect to come back from winter break with the news that the next student you’d be tutoring wasn’t a sweet 7th grade girl but none other than choi yeonjun.
the overwhelmingly attractive but horribly intimidating boy who was a year older than you and had, quite possibly, one of the worst reputations the school has ever seen.
if he wasn’t getting suspended for fighting or smoking on school grounds, you’d attempt to block out the mindless gossip about him and all the college girls he’d frequently fraternize with.
he was in your lunch period when you were a sophomore and he was a junior and you couldn’t help but be fascinated by how handsome he was. how he carried himself and how everyone else seemed to be fascinated by him too.
he was always wearing some variation of black, like his closet was just an empty void of black leather, dark cotton and chains. if he didn’t have on a beanie or hat, his then blue hair was a mess of waves that always made you look a few seconds too long.
you’ll never forget the day that he caught you, your nose in a textbook as you studied for a midterm before a loud shout of his name caught your attention.
you looked up and watched one of his friends playfully punch him in the arm, something about him hooking up with the older girl he had his eye on first and yeonjun only smirking at him devilishly.
he didn’t look apologetic or regretful in the slightest, more so like he’d do again just because he could and just because he knew the girl would be eager to have another go with him.
your breath caught in your throat when his deep brown eyes met yours, his head cocked as he held your gaze with all the confidence and smugness you could never have.
it took his lips quirking into a cocky smile for you to snap out of it, cheeks warming and stomach churning at getting caught before you dropped your gaze right back down to your book.
it was a quick and thorough reminder that this is where you feel comfortable and this is where you belong - with your nose in a book and your mind on your studies.
you’ve always intended to just get through high school with good grades and minimal distractions, a small (almost non-existent) friend group that left you able to make straight a’s and work a small, part-time job.
you’d done a pretty good job of that thus far, no bad boys covered in all black and sliver chains to show you that, maybe, getting out of your comfort zone isn’t such a bad thing after all.
you met yeonjun during your 7th period study hall a week later than intended, him not showing up to either of the periods your teacher informed you both last week.
you weren’t surprised in the slightest but also wouldn’t dare tattle on him, simply dodging the questions from your teacher or giving her a polite smile and cryptic answer.
but you couldn’t even stop the way your eyes widened when the library door opened and he was making his way toward you, black beanie placed on his head along with a dark shirt tight across his chest paired with gray sweatpants that made you bite down on your lip.
his hair was pink now, long with a slight wave to it that looked all too soft and inviting to touch; the color probably shouldn’t work on anyone but, of course, it works on him.
devastatingly attractive in a way that doesn’t seem fair nor human.
he hasn’t said a word to you, he wasn’t even within six feet of you yet, but you were already scared shitless. you already didn’t trust yourself to be around him and not make a bumbling fool of yourself.
a pretty smirk crossed his face when he stood in front of you, looking down at you with a playful look in his eye that was far too mocking and sinister.
“hey. y/n, right?”
you never would’ve pictured this man saying (or even knowing) your name, nor him looking at you so willingly and intensely, but you have to quickly snap yourself out of it.
this was as professional a relationship could be between two students and you really had to get it together.
“hi, yes... that’s me,” you say softly.
so softly that you’re not even sure he can hear it but you can, unfortunately, hear the tremor in your own voice and it’s nothing but absolute embarrassment.
he happens to like it though, if the way his eyes light up and his smirk widens tells you anything.
“i’m yeonjun.”
“i know.”
you say the statement far too quickly and it causes your face to warm, your mouth hanging open as the amusement continues to build behind his eyes; you can see with your own that the boy is too handsome for his own good but something tells you he’s probably far too charming as well.
“i mean... we were supposed to meet last week,” you attempt to clarify.
it seems like a good save, something to make, both, your embarrassment lessen slightly and for him to know you’re aware that he missed the two sessions last week.
but it doesn’t seem to work, the boy sitting down across from you with all the confidence and smoothness in the world. he leans in closer and you hold your breath, horribly lonely and touch-starved heart fluttering in your chest.
“i know, sorry about that,” he says, a genuineness in his voice that you can’t help but question. “i was busy with some things.”
you don’t know what to say so you don’t say anything, not even wanting to think about what kind of things keeps a man like him busy.
your teeth sinks into your bottom lip nervously and you can just feel his eyes burning into you, moving across your pink face and down to your soft white sweater; it makes you look every bit as innocent as he’s presumed you to be and he can’t say it doesn’t make him smile.
“and yet, the teacher didn’t say anything to me about missing.”
you meet his eyes at his questioning tone, so scrutinizing and intense that you feel very grateful about your decision not to blow up his spot; you don’t even wanna know what he looks like when he’s angry.
or maybe you do, some darker and suppressed part of yourself thinks.
“that’s because i didn’t tell her,” you say quietly, a lump forming in your throat that you’re trying desperately to push down. “i didn’t wanna....”
you almost say tattle and you think your face wold turn an unnatural shade of red if that silly word left your mouth in front of him.
so you meekly and sweetly decide on, “i didn’t wanna get you in trouble,” a smile gracing his face that almost makes you feel like you’d done a good job or something.
and how ridiculous does that sound? you did a good job for the older, delinquent boy - you don’t know what’s gotten into you.
maybe his smile and his eyes and just the way he’s looking at you is making you feel as if you’re actually something to look at - you’ve never really been observed the way he’s observing you.
a deep, melodic chuckle leaving his mouth causes you to swallow nervously, watching him with a blank expression because you’re not sure if he’s laughing at you or with you.
your heart stutters when he leans back to stretch, his arm squeezing at the back of his neck; it takes everything in you not to watch his arm flex.
“how’d i know you were a good girl, hm?”
your eyes widen at his words, stomach swooping in a way that’s only ever happened when you watch couples on tv or read about a romance in books.
because it’s not only his words, it’s the way he carries himself. the way he’s looking at you and speaking to you, the way you never thought anyone would - let alone him.
he must mistake your utter...shock and fascination for confusion, eyes wide and cheeks flushed and he suddenly wants to place his hand on your cheek.
see if it’s as warm and soft as it appears to be in this very moment.
“you were in my lunch last year, no?” he hums, looking directly at you with zero ounce of fear and ever bit of confidence. “always with a textbook or writing something.”
he doesn’t remember all the girls that gawk at him but he remembered you immediately.
caught your gaze early last year and saw something flicker in your eyes, a soft and innocent fascination he wasn’t used to seeing but immediately made him wanna ruin you -��he wanted to ruin you and he didn’t even know you.
he just knew that he’d watch you sometimes, discreetly and quickly, but enough to get his fix.
when he entered the cafeteria and made sure you were sitting there with your your face buried in a book.
when you’d get up to buy lunch or a bottle of water, pull down your skirt or adjust your hair in a way that made him wanna touch you in a similar fashion.
when you’d leave five minutes early (in what he fantasized was so you wouldn’t be late) and send him one last glance. feel your soft, hesitant gaze on his face and meet it carelessly at the very last second.
just enough to watch you get shy and see the blush so similar to now cross your cheeks.
he didn’t know your name and he, truthfully, never intended on learning it. because as much as he wanted to truly ruin you, he knew that’s all it was - a dark, twisted fantasy that someone like him shouldn’t act on.
but then when he walked in and saw you here, the tutor he was dreading to meet in such a familiar position, he knew immediately that you were her.
the cute girl from his lunch he wasn’t sure was an angel he wanted to protect or someone he wanted to fuck the shit out of.
you weren’t sure what to think right now, not wanting to get your hopes up or think too much into his question - you were in my lunch last year, no?
think that you were special and he remembers you for reasons far too fantastical so you only nod, figuring he could be taking a guess; there’s only three lunch periods after all.
“yeah. your hair was blue.”
a smirk crosses his face, chest warming at the fact you remembered him (even though the cocky, confident part inside of him knew you would).
“yes it was,” he confirms, smiling down at you in a way that makes your heart jump and pound even more. ”i was hoping you’d remember. because i knew i recognized you from somewhere.”
you don’t know how you’re gonna do this. you can barely look at him, how are you supposed to talk to him and teach him twice a week and actually-
“i do wanna ask you something else though.”
your eyebrows pull together at the slight change in his voice, cocking your head to the side as you look at him.
he’s leaning in a little closer now, tiny pink strands hanging from his beanie as his brown eyes bore into yours. there’s still some amusement twinged in his eyes but it all looks very deceptive, unnerving a part of you that your stupid little heart is ignoring.
he doesn’t allow you to ask him what before he starts talking again.
“how about we keep these sessions the way they’ve been?”
your eyebrow raises as confusion continues to plague you; your sessions haven’t even started?
you haven’t even taught him anything, what could he possibly- but it’s the moment he opens his mouth to speak again, you realize that’s exactly the point.
“you tell the teacher i’m coming to these and i’ll tell her what a good job you’re doing. how much i’m learning from you and shit.”
a smirk crosses his face when he peers into your eyes, catching the nervous, unsure look in them that only makes his smirk widen - you really are too cute.
you, on the other hand, don’t know how you feel about his suggestion; you just know how you feel about lying.
it doesn’t sit well with you and you don’t wanna get in trouble.
the teacher has a class during this period so it’s not like she’d come down and check but it still makes you incredibly queasy.
and if he needed tutoring in the first place, he obviously needs help. he’s a senior and needs to keep his grades up so he can graduate. it’d be your fault if he didn’t pass and you’d hate to be the reason he gets-
movement in front of you causes your thoughts to immediately stop, body freezing as you watch him lift his arm and bring his hand to your head.
he moves a strand of hair from your face before smoothing out the slight crease in your forehead, biting down on his lip when he feels your skin is just as soft and smooth as he suspected.
“what are you thinking so hard about?”
the deep, low tone of his voice and inquisitive look on his face is dangerous, almost as dangerous as the frantic beating of your heart and the way it’s about to pound out of your chest.
it’s like he has electric sparks shooting from his hand, making you feel extremely exposed and vulnerable even though his touch is quite gentle and innocent.
“i.... it’s just....” you stutter out, taking a deep breath because you know you need to get it together fast. “you’ve been having trouble, right? that’s... why you needed tutoring in the first place.”
his eyebrow quirks up at your comment and for a split second, you think you’ve offended him.
“i don’t want you to fail, yeonjun.”
he doesn’t allow himself to dwell on your words, realize that no one has so openly and sweetly said that to him before. or even cared enough to tell him that they don’t want him to fail.
he knows the teachers and counselors get him help because it’s their job.
he knows his parents bitch and complain about it because they don’t want him repeating high school or wasting their money.
he knows anyone who says anything to him about it is just doing it to make themselves look like a good person or friend.
but you just so openly and sweetly said it, a deep concern in your eyes that he knows he can’t dwell on or his similar feelings are gonna arise from last year’s lunch.
where he’s about to throw caution to the wind and do anything and everything he wants to someone as innocent and sweet as you; but he can’t do that and he knows it, he knows that’s why these session can’t happen - on top of the fact that it’s not only you.
he smokes during lunch and into this period.
and there’s just no fucking way he’s spending that time suppressing his predatory attraction to you while learning about shit he doesn’t understand and being high as a kite.
“you don’t gotta worry about me, angel,” he hums lowly, the name falling so naturally and smoothly from his mouth, he doesn’t even realize. “just do that for me, yeah? then you’ll have 7th free.”
you don’t hear much after he calls you angel, just that he’s asking you to do something for him and you’re blindly and dumbly nodding because he just called you that.
and it’s not until he smiles and thanks you deeply, looking over your face once more before saying that he’ll see you around that you realize you’re alone.
sitting there as you watch yeonjun walk out the door without a glance back and come to terms with the fact you just agreed to lie to your teacher for him.
for almost a month, you were able to keep it up.
it was terrifying and debilitating and it almost sent you into a full blown identity crisis, but you’d somehow managed to do it.
that was until this afternoon, when your teacher cut through the cafeteria during lunch with a cup of coffee in hand and suspicion in the pit of her stomach.
she saw you sitting there alone, your own books sprawled out around you as you wrote down notes before her short call of your name had your head snapping up.
her eyes watching you quizzically made your own widen, stomach sinking and heart starting to pound as he she made her way over to you.
“hi, y/n. where’s yeonjun today? it’s wednesday.”
the period only began ten minutes ago so it wouldn’t be weird for you to say that he wasn’t here yet. that he got held up after class and would be on his way shortly.
but you were just nervous and so bad at lying that you blurted out that he left to go to the bathroom, her eyes roaming the table in what you could only assume was for his books.
“he took his backpack with him,” you tell her quietly, smiling softly in an effort to hide your guilt and distress. she only hums softly before nodding her head, taking your word for it because why wouldn’t she?
you’re good and studious and wouldn’t ever lie to a teacher.
but then when she comes down to the library next week during 7th period with her class, catching you at the table by yourself, you do it again.
look her in the face and panic, make a scene of collecting your books as you tell her you forgot you guys were meeting in the cafeteria today - placing the blame on yourself.
you spent the rest of the period in the bathroom, collecting your thoughts and attempting to calm yourself down because you can’t keep lying.
you haven’t even talked to yeonjun since the first time you met in the library, only seeing him in passing in the hallway or after school.
he’ll send you a nod paired with his signature smirk and you’ll send him a small smile back, dipping your head before your cheeks flush at the mere sight of his eyes.
you wish you hadn’t agree to this.
you wish he didn’t effect you so much and you wish you could tell him you either need to actually help him or tell the teacher he doesn’t want to, because you’re losing your mind.
you’re anxious and upset and not feeling good about yourself, barely able to look your teacher in the face these days.
it’s on a friday before lunch, the bell ringing ready to dismiss you from her class, that it all comes crashing down.
she asked you to stay behind for a moment, everything about her face calm and neutral as you made your way over to her desk.
you were anything but calm as you stood before her, that familiar feeling of dread and guilt rushing in your stomach as you smiled softly at her and asked if everything was okay.
“yes, i just wanted to say what a great job you’re doing with yeonjun.”
you don’t even know what your face looks like but you know it’s probably the face of someone incredibly guilty, being praised for something you haven’t been doing and taking credit for it even though you know it’s wrong.
the feeling in your stomach confirms all of those feelings, tight and fluttery and buzzing with upset.
“o-oh?”
“yeah,” she smiles tightly, looking over your face before speaking again. “we just took our third test and he did great. in the low 90s.”
a part of you desperately hopes that to be true, that maybe he started applying himself and somehow started to grasp the material all on his own. you smile at the thought that that’s the case, nodding your head as you, against your better judgment, keep up the facade.
“i’m happy for him. he’s been working very hard. w-we studied at our last session for it, actually, and he really seemed to be understanding it.”
the contemplative look she gave you should’ve been the first sign that she knew you were full of shit, a quiet hum leaving her mouth. she holds your gaze until the moment you drop it, looking down at your white sneakers until she calls your name softly.
“y/n... why have you been lying to me?”
your lips press together as tears prick your eyes, all of the guilt and shame rushing through you at once.
“he failed his test and i know you guys haven’t been meeting.”
she knows that because you can’t lie. she knows that because yeonjun still doesn’t know anything and all of the students she’s recommended to you have passed with flying colors.
she knows because when you look up at her, your lip is trembling and it looks like you’re about to burst into tears.
“i... i’m so sorry.”
but even then, even after this moment right here, you’re still not gonna tell on yeonjun. because you don’t want him getting in trouble and you’re not gonna try to excuse your own behavior by admitting you agreed to it.
you’re just as at fault as the older boy and you’re not gonna pretend you’re not.
“why have you been lying? you could’ve just told me if you didn’t feel comfortable tutoring him or it wasn’t working out.”
because she knows yeonjun’s reputation. she knows he’s a year older and that you’re one of the shyer students in her class. she was hesitant at first to even put you two together but thought you’d be able to get through to him.
and because you don’t know what to say, how to make up an excuse that puts neither of you at fault, you don’t say anything. just continue to apologize with teary eyes and a shaky voice before she eventually lets out a sigh.
“take the next few days to figure it out. try to work on it with him or come to me and be honest that it’s not gonna work. but you didn’t have to lie to me, y/n. i’m a little disappointed in you.”
those words hit you harder than you care to admit, more tears building as you nod your head and quickly leave the room.
you knew from the beginning that it was wrong.
you never felt good about it and you knew it was bad but you still took part in it. she has every right to be disappointed in you and it feels like everything you worked so hard for has been ruined.
now you look like a liar who can’t be trusted.
now any time you tell her about another fellow student you’re working with, like the 7th grader you got through to or the 9th grader you helped get an a on their test, she’s gonna wonder if you really did that.
if you really helped them or if you’re just lying about that, too. telling them the answers to their homework or lazily explaining the concepts to them like you don’t work hard with each and every one of them.
you’re surprised to see yeonjun when you make it to lunch a few moments later, your stomach still in knots and left over tears in your eyes.
you don’t even realize you’re standing in front of his table until you hear one of his friend’s deep voices, a brash “who are you?” not even filling you with fear.
you’re only looking at yeonjun pathetically, wide teary eyes and pouty lips in an effort to hold back more tears.
yeonjun’s dressed in his usual attire but you can’t even focus on that, his pink hair flawless against his black shirt and chain hanging around his neck as he adjusts it carelessly.
soobin’s words catch his attention before your appearance does, looking at the front of the table and taking in the sight of wide, teary eyes and pouty lips; it pulls at something in his chest more than he cares to admit.
“yeonjun, can i talk to you for a second?”
your voice is wobbly and timid and everything about it so incredibly embarrassing, the tears in your eyes obvious to all the young men around the table.
you probably look like some girl he slept with and then left on read, begging him for another chance because your heart can’t take not being with him. because you got attached and now it feels like you need him.
but, really, you just need him to let you tutor him.
you can’t disappoint the teacher anymore and you had a job to do with him; you should’ve never told him that lying would be okay.
“who’s this?” his friend asks with a smirk, his hair a bright shade of purple that looks striking next to yeonjun’s.
“no one,” yeonjun’s quick to snap, looking at you before quickly getting up and guiding you out of the cafeteria by the small of your back.
he walks down a secluded hallway and out to the garden of the school, looking at the tears in your eyes and feeling himself frown.
“what happened?”
“i... she found out we haven’t been meeting,” you mumble, feeling silly and childish for crying in front of him about something like this; but you can’t help how you feel, you can’t help feeling sad and guilty about all of this.
your heart drops when he actually smirks at you, looking over your face with a gaze that’s just as soft as it is amused.
you’re almost positive he’s about to laugh at you, call you a loser for crying over something as juvenile as getting caught in a silly lie and hurt your feelings even more.
but then you’re quickly stiffening when his hand reaches up, gently brushing at your tears and marveling in just how soft your skin is.
“that’s why you’re crying?”
you’re embarrassed to say the least, any words you’d use to justify your reaction caught in your throat - and the smirk on his face isn’t helping either.
“you’re too pretty to cry over stupid shit like that, y/n.”
“it’s not stupid,” you respond, voice shaky and demeanor meek but still able to talk back.
because it’s not stupid to you. wanting to be nice and studious and a good person isn’t stupid. not wanting to be a liar or someone who goes back on their word isn’t stupid.
“she trusted me to help you and i lied to her.”
“we lied to her,” he says, voice and eyes teasing as he bends down to be on your level. you think he’s trying to make you feel better, a soft playfulness on his face that does anything but.
because you aren’t like him.
you aren’t cool and feared and you can’t not care about how you effect other people.
“why didn’t you just tell her it was my idea?” he asks suddenly, his eyes roaming your face in such a gentle but curious way. “she probably already knows that.”
“i... i didn’t want you to get in trouble.”
he rises to his full height as a small smile crosses his face, your soft voice and sweet words again effecting him far too much. he shouldn’t feel this way toward you and he shouldn’t want to be tutored now.
he shouldn’t be reaching out to touch the smooth skin of your cheek, a few stray tears making his lips fall into the smallest of frowns as you hear his voice the softest it’s ever been.
“i wouldn’t get in trouble, angel.”
and there’s that word again. making your wet eyes widen and stomach to flutter, wondering how and why that simple word sounds so nice leaving his mouth.
maybe because you’ve never been called that before.
could only imagine being called that by someone, let alone him, in such a way. or maybe it’s because it is him, the boy you watched for months on end, forever fascinated by the way he carried himself.
or maybe it’s because-
“but even if i did, how’s that your problem? why would you care?”
it’s a fair question you suppose but it doesn’t stop you from licking at your lips nervously, an all too familiar (and embarrassing) blush warming your cheeks.
“i mean... it’s not,” you mutter shyly, not sure if you’re more intimidated by him calling you out or the look on his face.
but even with those feelings, you’re still able to meet his gaze.
take in the deep, dark intensity staring back at you in his brown eyes. they’re softer than one would expect, almost soft enough to make you forget what you were wanting to say.
“but it’s just as much my fault as it is yours. so it didn’t seem fair.”
he smirks so he doesn’t say anything too brash, looking over the blush on your cheeks. his hand itches to move your hair behind your ear, a move he’d always do because he knew it was charming.
knew it’d get him laid and get a girl’s heart fluttering.
but now he wants to do it just to touch you, feel your hair and skin and watch the blush on your cheeks deepen; but before he can do anything, he’s surprised to hear you speak anything.
“but it’s also not fair to keep lying,” you say softly, a broken little smile crossing your face as you look at him. “i actually really hated the lying... so if you don’t wanna do the sessions, i’m gonna tell her it’s not gonna work for us. but if you change your mind, i’m still free during those periods.”
at that moment, he had every intention of telling you no.
he didn’t wanna give up his free time and energy to learn about things he’s absolutely sure he’s never gonna need to know after this.
he didn’t wanna sit through the sessions high or not get high at all, the only way he’s able to cope with the last period of the school day knowing that he could roll a joint in his car with soobin.
he didn’t wanna resist his obvious attraction and borderline fascination with you, act on it in a way he knows you’re not ready for and in a way he shouldn’t.
but when he walked in the library on monday, the time he told you he’d get back to you, you looked up and smiled at him. it was such a small, quick smile but everything about it called to him.
the twinge in your eyes and the way your hair fell, how even though your smile was small, it lit up your face and made you the prettiest girl he’d ever seen in his life.
at that moment, you were positive he was about to tell you no.
that thanks but no thanks, he’s absolutely not gonna spend his free period being tutored by a younger student who only stutters and blushes in his presence.
but when he sat down in front of you, a smirk on his face and eyebrow quirked, you couldn’t even hold back your look of surprise.
a deep chuckle left his mouth when he caught your expression, the sound one of the best noises you’ve ever heard.
“what? did you think i wasn’t coming back, angel?”
it took you a month to see yeonjun was just as confident and just as much trouble as you’d expected.
he was far too charming and attractive and funny, a sarcasm and wit in him that made you muffle your giggles like a middle school girl.
you weren’t used to talking playfully with the people you tutored, always so focused on getting the work done and making sure you were doing a good job explaining the material for them.
but yeonjun always made sure to delay it, attempt to get to know you before you could even discuss his homework or review sheet; and even though it hasn’t been easy, he’s been persistent in breaking down that wall you put up.
“did the flashcards help or do you think you’re more of a-”
“why don’t you ever go out?”
you suppress the urge to let out a sigh as you turn to look at him, his expressive eyes looking over your face.
you’ve gotten used to the feel of his gaze on you, almost like it was burning into your skin and leaving you exposed to the bone, but it didn’t help when you made eye contact.
looked into his eyes and saw him looking back at you so confidently and so easily, you couldn’t help but feel flustered.
“what do you mean?”
you know exactly what he means but it’s the only thing you could think to say.
you know more than anyone how much time you spend alone in your room, watching tv series and reading books and reorganizing until you don’t even recognize your own space.
but it’s not that you’re bothered by it, that’s what you like going. not going out isn’t something you find bad or upsetting.
“i mean i see people from your grade at our parties a lot,” he hums lowly, his eyes leaving yours only to look at the soft, pastel pink material of your sweater.
“but you’re never there,” he continues, looking at you and cocking his head to the side questioningly. “why’s that?”
“well, i’m not...invited, i guess,” you mumble out, ignoring the way your cheeks warm even more. “i like sticking to myself. and staying home.”
the words and your tone bring a pout to his face, your eyebrow raising at the sight. why is looking at you like that?
“well now you have an invite,” he says, a teasing smile crossing his face. “come to my friend’s party tonight. soobin, do you know him? he has the purple hair?”
his voice is far too sweet and soft compared to the look in his eye, teasing and flirty and reminding you of just how dangerous he is. how he’s capable of having so many different sides, he nearly gives you whiplash.
he’s the bad boy everyone thinks of him to be, skipping class and getting high and ditching tutoring lessons by smiling too kindly at a mousy little tutor.
he’s the play boy you see come out when he looks at you a second too long, bringing a blush to your cheeks and stirring something very unfamiliar in the pit of your stomach.
but then he has a softer side you see sometimes, like when he decided to do these lessons in the first place because you cried to him and made yourself look even more pathetic.
“i’m happy you decided to do these,” you say to him quietly.
it was only your second session but you wanted him to know you were supportive of his decision. that, even if your word meant nothing (because, really, who are you to him?), you were proud of him.
it’s not easy for a senior to give up a period or two to learn about things they don’t understand; you probably wouldn’t wanna do it either, if school and learning didn’t come naturally to you.
but for whatever reason, he agreed to do it.
“oh?” he hums, the trademark smirk on his face causing your cheeks to warm.
“yeah,” you smile softly, nodding your head before looking down at your clasped fingers. “i just... wanted you to know that. i understand why you didn’t want to but i think it’ll be good for-”
“why do you think i didn’t want to?”
you look at him and for a split second you’re scared that you offended him. you suppose you don’t really know him well enough to make an assumption about him but you just assumed he-
“or, you know what, no,” he says, shaking his head as he pushes his chair closer to yours.
he leans over the desk the same way he did during your first meeting last month, bringing your faces closer until you can smell cologne and the faint stench of cigarettes.
“i wanna hear why you think i changed my mind?”
you quirk an eyebrow as you look at him, staring blankly until you realize he just plans on doing the same.
“well... i guess it’s because you wanted to do good, right?” you ask meekly, unsure why he changed his mind but knowing that you were happy he did. “and maybe you didn’t wanna disappoint the teacher.”
a deep chuckle leaves his mouth that has butterflies erupting in your stomach, watching as he shakes his head and meets your gaze again.
“is that no it?” you ask bravely, your wide eyes and confused look causing his own stomach to do flips. “what’s so funny?”
but he’s quick to push it down, reach over to ruffle your hair in a way that makes your eyebrows pull together.
“nothing, angel,” he mumbles, his eyes roaming yours. you see the exact moment there’s s witch behind them, a flirty and darker front he puts up melting into a soft, vulnerable look.
“but thank you for telling me that. because i’m happy i’m doing them, too.”
he has yet to tell you the reason all these weeks later, probably because you wouldn’t dare ask again, but whatever it was, must’ve greatly inspired him.
because over these weeks, he’s really been putting in the work. writing notes and listening to you and asking questions when he’s not making you blush or inviting you out just for you to decline.
“so...?” he asks, a charismatic smile stretching across his face as he looks at you awaitingly. “what do you say? you wanna come?”
“no, thank you,” you smile politely, feeling bad for downright denying it but the offer feeling far too similiar to cliche movies you’ve watched. where the popular boy invites the nerd to a party and everyone laughs at her, questions why the hell she’s here and pulls some stupid, immature prank on her.
but this isn’t a movie and you don’t think you even have the capacity to show your face there, nor would anyone care that much to target you.
dismissing him is easier than really considering you hanging out with him outside of this library. seeing him in a different setting and allowing him to see a different side of you.
not you looking at him pleadingly, your eyes moving to the paper in front of him as you ask him to do the next question.
“i’ll do it if you come tomorrow night,” he says, a sigh leaving your mouth as you look at him in frustration.
“yeonjun...”
because if there’s another thing you’ve learned about yeonjun, it’s that he knows you have trouble saying no to him. it could because he sees the naivety in you, seeing something good in him at times and thinking you’ll really be able to help him.
but maybe he hopes you can help him, too. be a person he can lean on and know 100% is gonna be there for him.
“c’mon, y/n, don’t you wanna have a little fun?”
“i don’t think i’d find it fun,” you mutter honestly, a pout forming on your lips that has him swearing he’s never wanted to kiss someone as much as he wants to kiss you in this moment.
just brush his lips gently against yours, hear the little sounds and see your reactions that he knows will be the best thing he’s ever had. hold your waist and feel your skin against his that while it’s juvenile to him would be so much to you.
“you don’t know until you try, y/n,” he mutters lowly, looking up at him and seeing his gaze is, as usual, unrelenting. “have you ever been to a party before?”
of course you’ve been to parties before; birthday parties, graduation parties, wedding parties - but you’ve never been to a high school house party.
and are you about to tell him that? absolutely not.
“of course i have,” you mumble, a smirk on his lips because he can tell by the way you avert eye contact that you’re lying. “but it’s just... especially with kids from school who i don’t know? i don’t think it’d be fun, yeonjun.”
“but i’d be there?” he whines, something very uncharacteristic of someone who is known to be a bad boy. “isn’t that fun enough?”
you let out a groan as you frown again, tapping the notebook in front of you lightly as you meet his close gaze.
“your test is next week, yeonjun. can you please focus on that right now?”
it’s not until the next session that he thinks to use that to his advantage, supposing he can stand one more party without your presence as he smiles over at you.
“let’s make a deal, angel.”
you know when he calls you that that you’re not about to talk about school or his test, looking over at him with a raised eyebrow.
“if i get 100 on my test next week, you come to one of soobin’s party.”
you have to suppress a groan at the way he’s not letting up on this damn party, biting down on your lip as you do your best to give him a serious look.
“you should get the 100 because you want to, not because you’re trying to-”
his finger on your lips is the next thing you’re only able to focus on.
not the pounding of your heart or increasing anxiety at the thought of a party or the fact that there’s more people in the library than usual today.
you’re only aware of him touching you, a quiet “sh,” leaving his mouth that has your stomach fluttering far more than you care to admit.
he meets your wide-eyed gaze and smirks at the look on your face. his finger presses down on your bottom lip gently, dragging it slowly and watching as it pops back up.
there’s an almost pained look in his eyes that you can’t make out, his eyes never moving from your lips before meeting your gaze again.
“i want a lot of things, y/n,” he says, his voice deep and gruff and making your heart pound even more as he looks to your mouth again.
you feel your lower stomach swoop at the way he bites down on his bottom lip, his other hand ghosting over to rest of your knee.
your uniform skirt comes just above your knees, becoming higher when you sit and perfectly exposing your tight covered legs. his large hand rests on your knee like it completely belongs there, like he’s gonna dare anyone to tell him it doesn’t belong there and to take his hands off you.
“things i probably shouldn’t tell you yet so your pretty little face doesn’t become beat red,” he mumbles in your ear, his warm breath fanning onto your skin and making a shaky, embarrassing sigh leave your mouth.
but just him realizing that makes your cheeks flush. everything about his closeness and his words and the way he’s just saying these things to you right in the middle of the library.
the way his hand is slipping inside of your knee, fingers resting on the inside of your thigh that has some dirty, repressed part of you desperate to spread your legs just a little bit more for him.
feel more of his skin on you and heighten the feeling building in your lower half.
“but i can assure you, none of them are an on my test. but if that means getting you to spend time with me outside of this fucking hellhole, i’m gonna do it.”
just as fast as his hand was on your thigh, it’s gone and cupping your face. holding on to your jaw as he makes you look at him and has a look of softness and amusement but also darkness and arousal.
it probably has every bit to do with the fact you let out a tiny squeal when he did so, your eyes widening and legs now spreading apart ever so slightly.
“do you understand now?”
you should have the power here being his tutor but you don’t. you’re the cat and he’s the mouse, you’re the prey and he’s the predator and you’re not about to do anything to stop it.
“ye-yes yeonjun,” you say, a groan almost leaving his mouth at you how compliant you are already.
and it’s that reaction right there that has him skipping the party on friday and spending his weekend doing something he never thought he’d do his senior year - making flashcards and studying his ass off.
you remember being incredibly proud when, two weeks later, yeonjun came to your session with his graded test paper in hand.
he looked happy and accomplished and ready to take on the world, a warm feeling blooming in your chest at the look on his face.
“how’d you do?” you smiled up at him, your eyes soft and expression excited.
when he flipped the test over to reveal his 100% test, your first instinct was to raise your hand for a high five. it’s what you always did with the younger kids, praising them and sharing their excitement over a test that they worked incredibly hard on.
so when you did the same thing to him, quickly realizing he’s not one of your 7th grade students but an absurdly attractive man, your cheeks flushed and you stuttered out a “sorry.”
but he only chuckled lightly and high-fived you immediately, lacing your fingers from across the table before you could pull away. the action caught you off guard more than your nerdy high-five, eyes looking down to your conjoined hands before you gave him an incredulous look.
“what are you doing?” you squeak out, fearing that your hand’s about to get clammy and your heart may explode.
“don’t tell me you don’t remember our deal?”
you realized before you even entered soobin’s house that you made a grave mistake.
music was pounding through the open windows of the house and a few people were littered across the lawn. a drunken couple sloppily making out while another one fought about someone dancing with a stranger all before ten p.m.
you truly intended on never coming, telling yeonjun you seriously could not go through with this and had to flake out on your deal.
but he’d been so proud of his test. not just because it meant you were coming but because it showed him he was actually capable - or at least, that was the story he told you.
and whether you were silly and naive to believe him was on you since now, you’re walking into a party looking like someone’s holding a weapon to your back.
“so i’ll see you tonight, right?”
you were still hesitant even during 7th period this afternoon, looking at yeonjun with a pained expression.
“yeonjun... i really don’t know if i can do it.”
“why not? i’m gonna be there, just for you.”
you swallow down a bold, sassy remark that he’s gonna be there anyway, probably to remind your fluttering heart not to think too much into his comment.
but is him being there enough to make you go? or is that scaring you more? seeing him outside of school, around his friends, in an environment where he can be even more bold and daring.
after all, being in the school library didn’t stop him from creeping his hand up your inner thigh.
“i don’t just wanna follow you around all night and bother you like a lost puppy,” you whine quietly, knowing this was part of the deal but seeing just how impossible it is.
“how could you think you’d bother me?” he asks, his head cocked to the side just as the bell ringing interrupts you.
you let out a sigh as you stand to gather your books. you can feel his watchful eyes on you, attempting to ignore it as you silently get ready to go to next period.
he mistakes you walking away from the table to throw out a stray sheet of paper as you leaving, quickly rising from his feet and pulling you back into him. your body collides with his before he presses you against the table, the library nearly empty as the loud chatter of students can be heard from the hallways.
“were you gonna leave without answering me?”
his voice is deep and has a certain dominating darkness behind it, your eyes raising to his just in time to see him cock an eyebrow up.
“i... i was gonna throw this out,” you answer dumbly, raising the crumpled up paper behind your back.
he hums thoughtfully before taking it from your hand, crumbling it up and tossing it in the nearest garbage can. he misses but makes no attempt to pick it up, keeping you pinned between him and the table with no qualms about it.
“you missed,” you point out obviously.
a smirk crosses his lips as he lets out a hum, bringing his hand up to smooth out a piece of your hair.
“i’m gonna ask again,” he mumbles lowly in your ear, his large body and deep voice quickly making your breaths quicken.
“how could you think you’d bother me when i spent my entire weekend studying for that test?” he asks, his hands snaking down your body before gently resting onto your hips.
him pulling you closer causes another shaky sigh to leave you, your low, warning mumble of his name only making him smirk. he shouldn’t like this so much, how you sound so sweet and flustered and are allowing him have you like this.
“that was all for you, angel. not for me or the teacher or my parents or anyone else. just you. because i wanna hang out with you.”
you swallow the nervous lump in your throat as you raise your eyes to meet his, the playfulness that was in them turning the slightest bit dark. something in them making you lick over your lips as you try to calm your racing heart.
“you won’t even know when i’m there. how am i gonna find you?”
it’s the worst excuse you could have ever thought of but you’re not surprised since yeonjun was pressed against your body and breathing down your neck the way he was.
he chuckled lowly like he also knew it was the worst excuse you could’ve thought of, taking your phone from the table. he slides it open and looks to you, his eyebrow raised when you just continue to stare at him blankly.
then you remember, like every other teenager in the world, you have a lock on your phone.
“0319.”
he smirks at how easily you give it up, tapping a few buttons on the screen before handing it back to you.
“i put my number in there. text me when you’re there,
so even with a pit in your stomach and anxiety coursing through your veins, you go to his new contact name and type out “i’m here.”
you’re faintly aware of the fighting couple’s voices growing louder, his deep groans mixed with her higher pitched whines causing you to look over.
“i saw you touch her waist!” the girl yelps, her hands on her hips with a very obvious look of distaste. “so obviously you didn’t mind! maybe you should dance with her the rest of the night!”
“maybe i will, since you’re so god damn annoying,” he yells back, your lips falling into a frown.
the girl meets your gaze and it’s then you recognize her as a girl in your grade. she’s from the popular group but is one of the nicer ones, always smiling politely at other students and listening to teachers during their lessons.
she almost looks embarrassed to be caught in this scenario, a broken smile crossing her face before her boyfriend notices your gaze; you don’t recognize him, so you think he must be in yeonjun’s grade.
“what the fuck are you looking at?”
your cheeks flush as you immediately snap your head away, quickly becoming scared and uncomfortable. you can hear her chastising him but just want to be away as soon as possible, the prospect of this drunk man cursing at you somehow worse than a house full of strangers.
yeonjun hasn’t answered your text but you still take a deep breath as you walk toward the front door, immediately hit with the scent of alcohol, b.o. and weed. there’s loud music blaring from the speakers and making the house vibrate, bodies littered throughout the house as they all talk loudly and dance.
your eyes scan the room for his pink hair, stomach sinking when you see no sign of him.
is he even here yet? he told you he was coming at nine but could he be running late? or did he forget entirely, ignore your text as a joke and now you have to-
“hey. how do i know you?”
the first thing you see is purple hair and you’re immediately thrown back into the crowded cafeteria all those months ago. when you so boldly went up to yeonjun with tears in your eyes and he was quick to pull you away.
you remember the boy in front of you asking who you were, the same curiosity in his eyes now as you stand in his house looking extremely uncomfortable and out of place.
“i... my name’s y/n,” you begin quietly, the boy barely able to hear you over the music and loud chatter. “i had to talk to yeonjun during lunch once so i went up to your table and-”
“well shit, so you’re her.”
there’s a smirk on his face and gleam in his eye, like he knows something you don’t. you cock your head to the side in confusion, watching as his smirk widens and he nods his head approvingly.
“his tutor, right? he told me about you.”
“oh... yeah,” you say quietly, because yeah, that would make sense - his friends probably wonder where he goes during his free period now; there’s a few beats of awkward silence before he speaks up again.
“so what are you doing here?”
your cheeks flush and you wish you could blame the stuffiness of his house, looking to him as you stutter out that yeonjun invited you.
“did he now,” he hums, his eyes roaming your face and stopping on your cheeks. he doesn’t know what exactly yeonjun wants from a girl like you but he has to be honest in saying he sees the appeal.
“follow me then, sweetheart. you want a drink?”
you shake your head before following behind him, making eye contact with one too many intimidating boys and girls before landing on your feet. everyone’s in pretty heeled boots and crop tops, dancing and singing and grinding like they don’t have any cares in the world.
like they’re not terrified and dreading being here, even with the knowledge that the attractive boy they may or may not have developed a crush on is lingering around.
“oh, yeonjunnie,” you hear soonbin whine sarcastically, your eyes shooting up just in time to see his familiar black attire. his pink hair is poking out of his black beanie, the chain around his neck hanging low as he turns to look at his friend.
“i found someone for you,” the boy says before yeonjun can respond, bringing you around to the front.
you’re in the middle of both boys who tower over you and you’re not sure if you’ve ever felt more threatened; especially because when yeonjun looks at you, you’d think he didn’t know your name.
because he doesn’t give you a hi or a smile or even a flicker of recognition in his gaze.
he looks at you and simply says, “well, shit, i didn’t think you’d actually come,” with such a handsomely conniving smirk, you’re not sure what to think in that moment.
because it seems as if all your silly, irrational fears are coming true in this moment. very much like the movies you’ve seen and scenarios you’ve pictured where you’re humiliated at a party or by the popular boy.
but his smile and his words seemed so genuine. he’s seemed so genuine getting to know you these past few months, how could he have faked it so well?
the way your face drops and cheeks warm cause his heart to break a little, still all too aware of the questioning eyes and lingering looks thrown your way.
“didn’t you invite her?” soobin questions, looking between you and him and noting how embarrassed you look.
“i did,” is all yeonjun responds. no rhyme or reason or answer as to why he did. just that he did. so it could very well be a joke.
“well then, welcome, y/n,” soobin responds, reaching his hand out to you. “i’m soobin, in case we weren’t formally introduced.”
you give him a tight smile, yeonjun’s piercing gaze on yours as you take soobin’s large hand in yours.
“nice to meet you.”
your voice is soft and shaky and brings more heat to your cheeks, wanting to die when soobin rips up one of his friends for you to sit on the couch.
“i don’t mind standing,” you insist, shaking your head and offering a small smile to the other boy.
“no, no, pretty girls shouldn’t stand,” soobin says with a smirk, catching the way yeonjun’s eyes roll and jaw clenches; it all goes unnoticed to you, though, too busy sitting down and looking at your hands nervously folded into one another.
“so y/n,” soobin says, sitting down across from you and leaning forward the same way yeonjun does during his tutoring sessions. “what’s it like to tutor this idiot?”
his words are laced with affection, as are his actions as he ruffles yeonjun’s beanie playfully, but they still make you frown. still make you wanna defend him in front of others and ensure that he’s not an idiot.
“he’s great actually,” you say softly, lips pulled up in a soft smile. “very smart and learns fast. definitely not an idiot.”
you look to the boy to see him staring blankly at you, heart sinking in your chest; you’re becoming increasingly uncomfortable in this environment and a big part of it as to do with his attitude.
you weren’t expecting him to be overly excited, kiss your feet upon seeing you arrive or proclaim an irrational excitement. but it kind of seems as if, right now, he could care less that you’re here.
“ahh, that’s cool then,” soobin smiles. “you’re a year younger than us, right?”
you can only hum a small “mhm,” yeonjun’s gaze burning into your face causing you to look at him.
it’s the same soft, wide-eyed look you give him during your sessions but right now, it’s making him feel far too unsettled. like people seeing him with you are gonna show them a different side to him he has yet to acknowledge.
“why’d you decide to come?” he asks, not being able to stop the words; he already knows the answer, he basically begged you too.
and because you’ve been nothing but sweet and soft to him, he’s not surprised when you don’t throw it in his face that he’s the one who enforced this. that he studied for nights to pass that test so you’d feel inclined to come.
“i thought it’d be fun,” you say sweetly, i thought we’d be able to have fun outside of school like you claimed to have wanted. “i don’t really come to parties a lot.”
“i can’t imagine why, you seem really sweet and funny,” soobin says, a flirty smile on his face that makes a blush creep up on your cheeks; he’s so bold and confident, you don’t know both of them do it. “you should come to more.”
seeing that shade of pink on your cheeks from someone else angers yeonjun more than he cares to admit, throwing his friend a dirty look before growling at him to shut up.
“why? she’s sweet, isn’t she? maybe i need to be tutored too,” soobin says, throwing a smile your way as he plops down in the spot next to you. “what periods are you free? maybe we can go out for lunch and have a session.”
“i... i’m not allowed to leave for lunch.”
that’s a school rule - only seniors are allowed to leave for lunch. but with the way soobin laughs and yeonjun hold back a smirk, the other people littered around also letting out soft chuckles, it appears that’s something not many people follow.
“you can with me,” soobin assures, patting your knee softly as he sends another charming smile your way. “i’ll make sure you don’t get in trouble.”
you smile in an effort to downplay your embarrassment and discomfort, an annoyed sigh leaving yeonjun as he rises from his seat. he looks even more big and broad surrounded by these people for some reason, in his element where he fits in like a glove.
it’s even more evident that you don’t fit in here - at least in the library, that’s a place you belong. the quiet, the smell of books, the solidarity, a keen sense of-
“i’m getting another drink.”
yeonjun’s words are short and deep as he quickly gets up, hauling ass to the kitchen before anyone can even respond to him. his friend must see the look on your face too, a small pout on your lips that has the boy frowning next to you.
“don’t worry about him, he’s grouchy tonight,” soonbin says reassuringly, wrapping his arm around you affectionately. “some girl stood him up.”
the first thing you feel is a blow to your chest, an unfamiliar pain right in the center as you register soobin’s words; he begged you to come tonight but was waiting for another girl.
probably one of the many college girls, who are prettier and funnier and more charismatic than you.
so, really, you can’t be surprised. you were silly to think he liked you in the way you thought, in the way you’ve come to discover you like him because he makes you smile and laugh and feel warm inside.
but even so, you’re hurt.
you’re hurt and embarrassed and feel humiliated even though no one knows the real reason you came here and stepped way out of your comfort zone. thank god for that, you think, because it’d be even more horrible if people knew you came for yeonjun, all while he was waiting for someone else.
“oh,” you manage to squeak out, a soft look on your face despite the pain and embarrassment inside of you. “that’s too bad.”
“yeah,” soobin says, looking at you with sympathetic eyes you know you can’t trust. “he’ll be good, though.”
you bet he will, you think, because that’s just who choi yeonjun is. he doesn’t care who he strings along or makes believe is special - he’s gonna do what he wants when he wants it with no regard for how it effects other.
even a sweet little meek tutor he was able to get under his thumb the first day he met her.
when yeonjun returns, he can tell immediately that something is wrong with you. your hands are clasped together and you’re biting the inside of your cheek, fiddling nervously as you listen in on the conversation around you.
you meet his gaze and he’s quick to look away, one because he got caught and two because he doesn’t know if he can handle the look in your eye right now.
you’re always almost about to make him crack, break down into being someone worthy of you, and he doesn’t wanna do that tonight. doesn’t wanna show everyone here that, if he wants to, he can be a worthy person.
you’re a second away from breaking before soobin asks if you wanna dance, a tight smile on your face as you shake your head.
“i... i’m actually gonna go outside for a sec,” you say, knowing full well you’re gonna book it to your car and never return. “it’s hot in here. i need some air.”
“there’s plenty of air in here, angel,” soobin remarks, your eyes widening at the term.
it sounds different coming from his mouth, not as deep and melodic and it doesn’t let off a bunch of butterflies in your stomach. you’re too busy giggling softly as you shake your head that you don’t hear the deep, low noise of distaste leave yeonjun’s mouth.
you only see him grab soobin’s arm when he tries to get up to follow you, a lowly growled “let her go,” that makes your eyebrows pull together; you don’t know if he’s trying to hurt your feelings on purpose but he’s certainly doing it a lot tonight.
it feels like you can finally take a deep breath when you get outside, no one around except the chilly air and starry sky. it makes you feel a bit better, sinking down on the stairs and humming contently when your hands meet the cold concrete.
you passed by the dancing people and laughing, smiley couples inside and felt silly for coming here. silly for thinking yeonjun wanted you in his life without him getting something out of it.
what would he want from you anyway? what could you possibly give him when he’s already had so much better?
tears prick your eyes and you bury your face in your hands, taking deep calming breaths so the harsh winter air doesn’t feel like it’s burning you.
you avoided boys and feelings like this for so long and with good reason; you’re too sensitive and naive and always try to see the good in people.
you’ll put your feelings aside in order to spare someone else - you saw it in the beginning, pushing down your qualms about lying to the teacher to further appease a boy you found cute.
and when you put it like that, it sounds really fucking stupid. it sounds like, maybe, you’re just-
“didn’t i tell you you’re too pretty to cry over stupid things?”
your first instinct is to turn around when you hear his voice, his tall, dark figure looming behind you.
you should probably smile shyly or say that you’re not crying but you can only stay silent, turning back around to avoid his intense gaze and your own humiliation.
the same way he should probably go inside and carry on with his night the way he usually would. drinking and flirting and dancing before he probably brought someone home or into the bathroom.
when he moves behind you, that’s what you think he’s about to do.
but then he’s walking around your sitting frame and bending down to you, looking up at you from his crouched position. his hand reaches out to touch your face, forcing it up so you can only stare at him with teary eyes and flushed cheeks.
there’s a frown on his face as he runs his thumb across your cold cheek, his gentle touch a shocking contrast to his harsher appearance.
“what happened?”
what happened? you think, not used to feeling so snarky and hurt. what happened was that he got your hopes up, was nice to you and invited you and kept making you feel special, just for them to come crashing down.
but then the more you think about it, the silence between you getting longer and longer, the guiltier you feel - because your feelings aren’t his fault.
you taking his looks and kindness and lingering touches for something deeper was a mistake. you know the kind of boy he is and have still been foolish enough to fall for him.
“nothing,” you grumble, a wet, humorless laugh leaving you as you shake your head. “i’m just being silly.”
but you can’t look up from your feet, your eyes roaming the cracks in the concrete, and that’s how he knows you’re lying; that, and because he knows he was being a fucking dick.
but seeing you in this environment was weird for him. seeing people look at you and look at him, specifically soobin who got it out of him that he might like you, was unfamiliar for him.
the same way this was unfamiliar for you - which is why he wants you to talk to him.
“what happened, y/n?” he asks, voice a tad bit harsher and deeper as he cranes his neck down. he hears your harsh, nervous intake of breath and resists the urge to reach out and touch you.
you need to answer him before he can touch you.
but you never do. not after ten seconds and not after a minute, prompting him to let out a sigh and pop his neck to the side. your face pulls into a grimace at the crack that sounds through the air.
his cold hand touching your face causes you to jump, your eyes meeting and a lump forming in your throat; his eyes fool you too much and that’s exactly the problem here.
“talk to me, angel, c’mon.”
your eyes start to burn when a harsh wind passes, tears stinging your eyes and coldness rushing over your face. why does he have to keep calling you that? why does his voice have to sound so sincere and why does he have to look at you the way he is right now?
like he cares so much and hopes those tears aren’t because you’re sad.
“there’s nothing to talk about, yeonjun,” you blurt out, anger and humiliation seep into your tone before you can stop it. you let out a sigh as you try to get it together, taking a few calming breaths before shaking your head.
“just go back inside, okay? i’m going home. t-thank you for inviting me but i-”
“i don’t want you to go.”
he blurts the words so loud and fast, it even sounds a little awkward to your ears. but he sounds and looks almost desperate, your eyebrows pulling together and heart sinking as you take a deep breath.
because you know you can’t stop the next words from tumbling out of your mouth.
“well, it doesn’t seem like you want me here.”
your words are soft and quiet but they still physically pain his chest, his eyes roaming your face as he brings them to your cold cheeks. he wipes under your eye when wetness forms, the cold biting wind rushing around you both.
“i want you,” he reassures quietly, his voice just as low and gravely as he speaks hushly to you; he thinks it’s the most honest and true thing he’s ever said to someone. “i want you more than you know.”
“then why are you acting like that?” you question sweetly, the pout on your lips nearly making him groan and cover them with his. “you were being... mean. i felt like... you didn’t want me here at all. or didn’t want people to know you invited me.”
your words break his heart but he also knows they’re true, his fingers caressing your face gently. he notices then how freezing and red it is, looking you over and rising from his feet.
you look disappointed that he’s gonna leave, your face falling and eyebrows furrowing before he reaches his hand down to you.
“let’s talk in my car,” he clarifies, nodding his head toward his vehicle. “it’s freezing out here.”
you bite down on your lip, contemplating it for a few seconds before another harsh gust of wind passes. you let out a sigh as you take his hand, grateful to enter his car the moment you sit down.
he turns it on and the engine roars to life, his fingers reaching out to turn on your heated seat.
the next few moments only consist of the car’s engine warming up as you wait for the heat to kick on, you and yeonjun stealing glances back and forth at each other; you both miss the others gaze by a few seconds and if anyone were to be watching, it’d be obvious you both were nervous right now.
dancing along the line you’re both nervous to cross for entirely different reasons - you because you somehow don’t think he reciprocates those feelings and him because he knows you deserve more.
but in this moment, he decides he has to be selfish. watching you with a flush in your cheeks and your lip drawn into your mouth.
“i like you, y/n. that’s why i wanted you here,” his voice says, breaking the silence in a way that almost seems more terrifying. “but that’s also why i didn’t... want people knowing.”
your eyebrows pull together and immediately your mind goes to him being embarrassed. embarrassed that you’re younger and quiet and that no one really knows who the hell you are.
he’s infamous and cool and a senior, obviously he should be with someone similiar. like a popular girl in his grade or a college girl or maybe even a the girl who stood him up.
“not because of you, angel, but because of...”
“you?” you interrupt, a snark in your tone neither of you except; but you’ve heard this line one too many times, not expecting to ever ever hear it real life, let alone toward you.
“it’s not you, it’s me?” you ask, a gentle, faux smile on your face as you shake your head at him. “is that what you’re about to say?”
he clenches his jaw so he doesn’t smirk, resisting the urge to laugh as he looks you over carefully. it’s obvious your smile’s fake because it doesn’t meet your eyes, the teary glint in them every bit sad as they are frustrated.
but of course, you’re too sweet to treat him as he deserves.
his hand reaches out to grab your chin, his thumb and pointer finger on either side as he forces your gaze to his. his smirk comes through when he hears your sharp intake of breath, tongue peeking out to lick at his lips.
“if you let me talk, angel, you’d know what i was about to say,” he hums quietly, his breath fanning into your face at his closeness. it smells of mint and beer, it should probably be gross but surprisingly isn’t.
his words successfully stir you into silence, partially from fear and partially because the look in his eye has caused you to grow warm all over; and once he sees that, he begins to speak again.
“i didn’t want people knowing because i didn’t want anyone fucking with you, y/n. because if they did, i’d have to ruin them and then everyone would see it.”
“see what?” you ask quietly, the air between you thick and buzzing as you hold his gaze.
hold it so adamantly and intensely, you’re barely able to register him leaning closer. inch by inch by inch, until his lips are pressed against yours and you’re kissing choi yeonjun in the front seat of his car.
you’re stiff and awkward and don’t really know what to do but it’s fine because he laces his fingers in your hair and pulls you closer. parts your lips with his tongue which causes you to kiss him back with a slow, unsure pace.
but it only causes him to smile, retracting his tongue and keeping it sweet before he pulls back and rests his head on your forehead.
“why i decided to spend my free period during senior year getting fucking tutored, angel,” he chuckles lowly, his hand running through your hair gently.
the soft look in his eye causes you to swallow nervously, words caught in your throat as you stare at him wide-eyed.
“i... i thought you... you said it was...” you let out a shaky breath as you try to get your thoughts together, completely unable to remember your conversation from weeks ago. when he cryptically asked you your thoughts about just why he agreed to stop lying to the teacher and do the sessions;
so instead, your cheeks warm and you’re hit with the reminder that you just had your first kiss with him. and that you were probably absolutely terrible at it.
“that was my first kiss. i... i’m sorry if it was bad.”
a small smile crosses yeonjun’s face as he shakes his head at you, thumb dragging down your cheek gently to feel the warm, smooth skin of your cheek.
“it was perfect, angel, you’re perfect.” he mumbles, your eyes widening and heart stuttering as a ball forms in your throat. “so perfect that i thought you stood me up and weren’t coming. so let’s go on date. a real date, this time.”
in the beginning of the school year, you would’ve never imagined your study sessions with yeonjun would be turning into dinner dates; but as you sit in your room and get ready, your heart pounding and palms sweaty, that’s exactly what’s happened.
it’s the fourth date you guys are going on and you can officially say that you really, really have feelings for yeonjun. you’re still shy and nervous around him but it’s only because he’s more comfortable with you too.
he takes your hand with ease and laces your fingers together that he was meant to do that.
he’ll shamelessly peck a kiss to your lips and deepen it at any given time, your cheeks burning and embarrassed voice telling him to stop when he did it in the middle of the bowling alley last week.
he’ll watch you and smile at you and just touch you with the softest of intentions, you almost can’t believe this is the bad boy everyone claims is so mean and heartless.
you say almost because you still don’t do it in school. it’s still a somewhat... secret fondness you have for one another. he’ll play with your fingers under the table during sessions and wink at you in the hallway but that’s about it.
he’d probably never kiss you in the hallway or cafeteria but you also wouldn’t want that. it would draw way too much attention and probably leave your face with a permanent, embarrassing flush.
“are you going out?” you hear your mom ask, her head peeking in before a smile brightens her face. “aw, you look beautiful, y/n. yeonjun must be coming soon.”
the topic of dating had been undeniably embarrassing with your parents, mostly because they couldn’t believe you were showing an interest. but they welcomed yeonjun with open arms, insisting to meet him at the front door to ensure he was a nice boy.
and oh had he really showed you just how charming he could be.
“mom,” you whine in embarrassment, her laugh echoing in your room as he throws her arms up defensively.
“you guys be careful. it’s supposed to rain soon.”
you nod your head as you finish getting ready, smoothing over your hair once more before your phone vibrates against your desk. he texted you that he was on his way with a smiley face and heart, sending one back before looking at yourself in the mirror.
you don’t know what the hell he sees you or why he likes you but you know if you dwell on it, you’ll talk yourself out of everything. convince yourself that this is all a joke and he’s gonna turn around and say he pities you.
even though, when you brought this up to him, he was quick to calm those worries.
“c-can i ask you something, yeonjun?”
you were walking home from the movies with your hands intertwined.
the cold, harsh winter had blossomed into spring, the night air growing less frigid; there was a still a bit of a chill but it was nothing a jacket and yeonjun’s warm body couldn’t fix.
“of course, angel,” he mumbles lowly, a small smile on his face as you stop in your tracks. he’s quick to follow, eyebrow raising and body turning so he can look down at you.
he cocks his head to the side when you don’t speak for a few seconds, his lips falling into a pout as his hand tightens in yours.
“you okay?” he asks quietly, thumb tracing small circles into your skin.
you lick over your lips nervously, feeling silly for the need to ask this question but it’s one you can’t help. it wracks your mind over and over again and it feels like you’re about to-
“why do you like me?” you blurt out, unaware you even said the words until you notice yeonjun’s face morph into one of surprise.
his mouth opens and closes for a moment, brows pulled together as he tries to make sense of your words.
“i mean, what’s not to like?” he asks softly, taking you by the hips and pulling you closer to him.
you’re in the middle of the sidewalk but there’s no one around, the sky dark and streets desolate as you both meet each others gazes - yours full of doubt and his full of confusion.
“i... i don’t know,” you mumble sheepishly, looking down at your intertwined hands. “i just... it doesn’t really make sense.”
“why? because i’m older? because you’re smart and i’m not?” he teases, your panicked eyes immediately meeting his.
“no! more like the exact opposite,” you clarify as you shake your head. “because you’re popular and attractive and charming and i’m just.... not.”
his eyes roam your face and his heart sinks when he sees the doubt and nerves continue to grow. how you really feel this way about yourself and are pondering the idea that someone like him would want someone like you, when really, it should be the opposite.
“y/n, i’m lucky that you’re settling for me,” the pink-haired boy laughs out, squeezing your hips reassuringly. “you’re good and sweet and so fucking beautiful. i wanted you the second i saw you, you know, but knew i shouldn’t.”
your eyes widen at his words, shock behind them that has a laugh bubbling from his chest.
“in lunch. i noticed you the first day and thought you were an angel,” he says, the nickname he always calls you particularly getting the butterflies going tonight.
“i could tell that you were good. you just have this.. aura, y/n, and i knew that i would taint it. i knew you deserved someone way better. because i’m not good like you.”
"yes you are,” you respond immediately, a frown appearing on your face as you shake your head. “you pretend not to be, but you are, yeonjun. i can see it.”
“you can see it because i wanna be good around you, baby. i wanna be someone good for you.”
tears prick your eyes as a lump forms in your throat, overwhelmed and unsure of how to respond to that. he smiles softly as he takes in your face, leaning forward to press his lips against your forehead.
he inhales your sweet, vanilla smell while you take in his cologne and faint scent of cigarettes, swallowing down the lump and praying you don’t burst into tears on the spot.
“don’t doubt yourself, angel,” yeonjun mumbles against your head, puling you closer until your flush against his warm, broad body. “i’m the one who got lucky here.”
even though it meant wasting away in the fucking library.
“the library isn’t that bad, yeonjun,” you whine ten minutes later in his car, heat blasting and music low as he drives to the restaurant. one hand’s on the steering wheel while the other’s laced with yours, your body turned in his black leather seat to look over and chastise him.
he confessed to you that your sessions were the first time he’d ever stepped foot in that library; he hadn’t even been positive that school had a library until he walked through the door that day.
“it smells like dust and the librarian’s a bitch.”
“she is not!” you squeal, smacking his arm lightly as you throw him a chastising look. “she’s just a little... misunderstood. people don’t respect her space.”
even you can admit sometimes she does go a little overboard; you saw her once lecture a younger student for a half hour because they mistakenly put a book on the wrong shelf.
“you’re too nice, baby. maybe even a little biased, since you’re the only one she seems to tolerate.”
“probably because i’m there every day,” you tease lightly, your eyes widening playfully before a loud crack of thunder causes you to jump in your seat.
your mom hadn’t been kidding when she said there was gonna be a storm tonight. you’d ran to yeonjun’s car shielding the top of your head, rain pelting down and wind howling as your mom’s “be careful!” got drowned out.
and right now, it only seemed to be getting worse.
“you scared of thunder?”
you hear the smirk in yeonjun’s voice and resist the urge to stick your tongue out, not about to admit that, yes, you’re nearly an adult but still terrified of rain and thunder.
“no, of-of course not,” you grumble, snatching your hand away from his. “it just surprised me.”
yeonjun looks over at you and sees the nervousness all your face, not commenting as he silently snatches your hand back. he intertwines your fingers as he raises your hand to his mouth, pressing his lips against it while he drives through the rain.
it’s getting considerably heavier by every second, his foot pressing off the gas every time he drives past a puddle.
“i used to be scared of the rain, you know.”
you look over at him and see him looking peacefully at the road, pink strands of hair hanging in his face.
“oh, yeah? when you were like five?”
“twelve,” he corrects with a smile, doing his best to distract you from the chaos outside. “i used to wake up crying, sometimes. i know that’s hard to believe now. because i’m so cool and what not.”
“oh please,” you giggle out, the sweet sound filling the car also distracting him from the pounding of rain and crackling of thunder; he’s outgrown his fear of storms but even he can admit this one is a little bit scary right now.
“what, you don’t think? i’ll have you know-”
the skidding of his tires mixed with your frightened screams is the next thing he hears, a strangled “yeonjun!” in the background as he attempts to take control of his car.
there’s the boom of thunder and lightning and loud blares of horns before everything goes still, his body acting on auto pilot as he safely pulls off on the side of the highway.
his first concern isn’t damage to his car or the heightening storm outside - it’s you in his passenger seat, eyes closed tight and tears on your face.
“are you okay?” yeonjun’s voice frantically asks, barely able to feel the sensation of his his warm hands on your face. your heart’s pounding and your hands are shaking and for a moment, you thought you were about to die.
your eyes pop open to meet his and the concern in them only makes your eyes water more, bottom lip trembling as you nod your head.
but even though you’re nodding he sees you’re not. he sees you trying to catch your breath and your eyes looking back and forth nervously outside.
“hey, hey, angel. it’s okay. i’m here,” he hums lowly, his thumbs running over your face soothingly. “i’m here and you’re okay.”
you attempt to catch and slow your breaths as your eyes never leave his, his only leaving you to quickly assess you for injuries.
“i know that was scary. i’m sorry. i should’ve been more careful.”
“it wasn’t your fault,” you squeak out, swallowing the knot in your throat as you shake your head. your eyes roam his and you pout when there’s guilt and sorrow in his eyes, your own hand snaking down to hold his hand.
“are you okay?”
his eyes soften as he cups your face and brings you to closer to him, a quiet “yes, baby,” leaving his mouth before he places his lips on your forehead.
you breathe in his scent and he breathes in yours, not allowing himself to pull away until he feels you relax under him.
“i’m gonna drive us to my house, okay?” he says, his eyes back on you looking cautious. “we can order food. i just don’t want us driving in this if it’s gonna get worse.”
you nod your head before reaching down to grasp one of his hands tightly, his small smile meeting you before he carefully pulls back onto the highway.
the storm gets substantially worse as he makes his way to his house, hand grasping yours tightly as he drives slow and steady.
he’s flooded with relief when he finally pulls in his driveway, running around the passenger side door to help you out. his hand doesn’t leave the small of your back until you’re in his room, a big space with white walls and black furniture that doesn’t surprise you in the slightest.
contrary to most teenage boy’s rooms, his smells really good. like a mix of his cologne, laundry detergent and a distinct smell you’ve just deemed as his natural scent.
it’s comforting and makes you feel at ease, licking over your lips nervously as you realize this is the first time you’ve been in a boy’s room.
“you want anything to drink?”
“i...i’m good,” you say, sitting on his bed as you look around.
there’s no decor on the walls except for a large flat screen tv across from his bed and above his dresser, a pile of clothes off to the side.
“sorry, i didn’t expect to have anyone over so it’s a little messy.”
you look over at him sitting beside you, a sheepish smile on his face. you think it’s the first time he’s ever sounded somewhat... nervous and out of his comfort zone.
maybe because he knows you’ve never been in this situation before.
“it’s okay, i like your room,” you smile, spreading your fingers out across his soft, dark comforter. “it’s very fitting.”
“oh yeah?” he smirks, inching closer to you and making your heart speed up. “and why’s that?”
there’s that dark playfulness you’re so used to seeing swarming behind his eyes, just as teasing as it is intense that makes you hold back a squeak. he quirks his eyebrow as he moves closer, pink tongue peeking out to roll over his lips.
you can’t help when your eyes fall to them, missing the feel of them on yours.
you two haven’t gone past making out, a clash of tongues and teeth that have you quietly moaning into his mouth. but when your body acts on its own accord, pushing yourself closer to him or grasping at the bottom of his shirt, he always stops you.
“what are you doin’ baby?”
you were in his car after a tutoring session, the parking lot of the school completely deserted. your cheeks flush and you immediately draw your hands back, lowering your head slightly as embarrassment took over.
“i...i thought that was...don’t you wanna...”
because clothes come off, that’s how it starts - you know that much.
and you can feel how much he wants to go further, the hardness under you that scared you at first now the thing begging you to go further.
you feel wanted and desired and even though you’re scared, you want to go further.
“we don’t have to do anything, baby. this is fine,” he says softly, his hand reaching up to cup your cheek.
“but i want to,” you mumble, not even sure if he can hear your words because of how quiet you are.
you know he must though because he draws his fingers under your chin to lift your face, eyes heavy of fondness and arousal making your stomach flutter more.
your first instinct is to assume he doesn’t want you - why else would he stop you? but you can see in his eyes that he does...right? because it really does look like that.
what other reason would he have to stop you though? maybe he just doesn’t-
“whatever you’re thinking is probably wrong,” yeonjun mutters, tightening his hold on you and bringing you closer to him. “i don’t wanna go further with you while we’re in the car, angel. you deserve more than that.”
“hm?” you hear him hum, ripping you from your memories.
you look from his lips to his eyes watching you with lust, the beginnings of your nonsense words cut off when he kisses you.
your heart flutters and stomach swoops immediately, kissing back with an embarrassing amount of fervor. he smirks against your lips as he pulls you on his lap, your arms circling around his shoulders.
his tongue traces your bottom lip before you feel it in your mouth, daringly meeting his back in a way you’d never done before. it causes him to bring his hands to your hips, squeezing and massaging them with his large hands.
“look at you,” he mutters almost condescendingly, falling back onto his bed and causing you to squeal. you’re holding yourself above him and his eyebrow is quirked, red lips puffy and pink hair messy causing your heart to flutter mercilessly.
“if i didn’t know any better, baby, i’d think you’re real eager tonight.”
you bite down on your lip as you adjust yourself on him, your hips straddling his and brushing over him. your building heat is right under him and it takes everything in you not to moan at just the thought, his hands strong and firm.
and just as you’re about to answer, tell him that, yes, even though you’re not familiar with.... any of this, you’re eager and ready, your stomach growls and ruins the moment.
it causes a smile to light up his face, a deep chuckle leaving him before he flips you over. he’s hovering above you now, no parts of your bodies touching except for his hand a few inches away from your head.
“or you’re hunger, my mistake, angel,” he says with a smirk, pressing a peck to your nose sweetly. “what do you want?”
you spend the next hour laying in his bed waiting for the pizza, the storm just as wild outside as it was when you were in the car. you bit down on a squeal threatening to leave your mouth every time there was a terrifying boom, your body shimming closer to yeonjun’s.
he smiled against your head and welcomed your body closer, bringing your head to his chest.
“you’re cute,” you hear him mumble, the swooping in your stomach causing you to feel warm.
you look up at him and smile shyly, tucking your head closer into his chest. you have to hide your growing smile when you feel his lips brush your head, deep content hums leaving his chest.
the doorbell ringing rips you two apart, his mumbled “i’ll be right back,’ causing you to sit up. you brush your fingers through your hair as you sit up, looking around his dark room and feeling something brewing in your stomach.
you feel every bit as nervous as you do excited and eager in his room with him right now.
it’s still scary because you’re new to this. because you’ve never done anything like this before and you know you don’t know what you’re doing.
but a part of you wants to kiss him on his bed. go further than he’s allowed you to because if he only didn’t want to be with you in the car, this should solve that problem, right?
you’ve never felt as desired and warm as you have with him these past months. no one’s ever looked at you the way he does or have made you feel the way he does.
you’re usually too scared or uneasy to talk to people or form a connection; but from the moment you met him, you were able to do that. a part of you just felt inclined to help him, be a person that he knows would be there for him even if it meant in the form of helping him study or motivate him.
you never would’ve expected for him to reciprocate your feelings. nor would you have expected to be in this current situation, want and need bubbling in your stomach at the thought of yeonjun doing-
“pizza’s here,” yeonjun says, popping his head through the door holding a box of pizza.
you smile upon seeing it, your stomach growling at the smell; if he hears it, he doesn’t say anything. just walks over and places the box on his bed, offering you a slice that you take immediately.
“thank you,” you squeak, bringing the food to your mouth.
he watches you for a few seconds, suddenly all too aware of him looking at you. you raise an eyebrow as you chew, a shy look coming over your face that causes him to smile.
“what?”
“nothing,” he says, shaking his head as he takes out his own slice. “my mom called me and said they can’t come home tonight because of the storm.”
you take the time to chew your food as you take in his words, the fluttering in your stomach a mix of nerves and excitement.
“oh.”
“yeah...” he hums, his eyes roaming your face; he doesn’t want his next suggestion to make you uncomfortable but he also thinks it would be best. for both of you.
“and i don’t know if i should drive you home, angel. it’s supposed to get really bad. do you... wanna stay over?”
there’s a lump in your throat for all the reasons there shouldn’t be.
not because this is your first time sleeping over a boy’s house or the fact that his parents aren’t home. or because you’re gonna have to call your mom and say you’re sleeping over a friend’s house.
or even because you don’t know what to expect tonight.
it’s only there because you know, in a new form of acting on your deeper desires and not suppressing yourself to just being some innocent girl, you wanna get railed.
“i... i guess i can do that,” you say, some nervousness still behind your voice because when it comes down to it, you’re unfamiliar with this situation.
“well yeah, but do you want to, baby?” he asks with a small smirk, his hand reaching up to toy with your hair.
his long fingers run through the strands before tucking them behind your ear, his hand slinking down to rest on your neck.
“if you don’t feel comfortable, i’ll take you home later,” he says, thumb running across your skin slowly. breath catches in your throat when he leans closer to you, his lingering scent and broadness causing you to bite down on your lip.
“i just thought it’d be nice to lay with you tonight. or wake up with you.”
“or let us go further since we’re not in the car.”
you don’t know who’s more shocked by your words but you know you’re definitely more embarrassed, a rampant blush crossing your cheeks as you attempt to hide in his shoulder.
he’s quick to pull you away with a small “tsk,” the smirk on his lips quickly widening despite the soft look in his eyes.
you bite back the noise threatening to leave your mouth when he wraps his hand around you hair, the slightest of stings ripping through your scalp when he pulls you forward.
“go further?” he asks lowly, his eyes peering down at you only making you feel more warm and flustered.
words are caught in your mouth and you can’t find it in you to say anything. not only because you’re too embarrassed but you don’t even know what to say.
you know you want more than kissing and that there’s always a building pressure between your legs when he pulls you on his lap.
you know on more than one occasion, you’ve wanted his hands that’d rest on your hips to go just a little further down. slip in the waistband of your pants and meet the wetness and heat through your underwear.
you’ve wanted to see his pink hair between your legs as you experience getting eaten out of the first time, holding back moans in the crease of your elbow as his tongue explores every inch of you.
you know you want to look up at him with tears in your eyes and a heaving chest, ask if you can please suck him off because you’ve also never done that before.
he can see the arousal and lust clouding your eyes the more the silence elapses, his cock quickly hardening as he takes in the sight of you on his bed ready for him to take you.
it’s just a matter of how and when he’s gonna. how and when you tell him like the good girl he knows you are.
“how much further are you thinking, angel?” his deep voice finally asks, successfully breaking the silence and building the thick tension.
you let out a breathy exhale when he pushes you on your back, the knot in your stomach tightening as he looks down at your body.
“what do you want me to do, huh?” he asks, the smirk and feeling in his chest growing when he sees you start to breathe heavily on his bed. your legs are nearly shaking from the build up in pressure, your tongue licking over your dry lips.
“i... yeonjun...”
he bites back the groan threatening to leave his mouth at you moaning his name, holding himself above your body as he hand spays out against your stomach.
“why are you moaning my name baby? i haven’t even done anything.”
“but... but i want you to. so bad.”
your voice is whiny and pathetic but it’s all it takes for him to snap, his hand moving from your stomach to between your legs.
he can feel the heat and pulse of your pussy and has to suppress his own groan again, completely getting off on the feeling that you, the innocent little tutor he’s been wanting to ruin since he saw you last year, is laid out on his bed and dripping just for him.
“please, yeonjun,” you whine again, completely out of your mind with lust when you feel his hand on you.
he bites down on his lip before he starts gently running his hand over you, barely putting any pressure on you. he’s just relishing in the how only that makes you spread your legs immediately, hips bucking up closer to his hand.
he pulls his hand away and pins your hips to the bed, his face hovering above yours before you can even whine again.
“be patient, angel. or this isn’t gonna work,” he growls lowly, his thumbs running over your pants gently.
“i- i’m sorry,” you gasp out, tears pricking your eyes because this feeling is so new and foreign and overwhelming. “i just... i’m so...”
“you’re so what?”
“i want you,” you say immediately, thinking back to your conversation with him outside of soobin’s house. when the words you’re telling him now are the same ones he told you. “i want you more than you know.”
a scoff leaves his mouth when you say that, remembering those words leaving his own mouth that night.
but the difference here is, he thinks, is that you really didn’t know that.
you didn’t know how just sitting there and smiling at him and talking to him so sweetly was making him want you. your soft smiles and vanilla scent and the wide-eyed look you’d always innocently give him.
but he’s aware of how much you want him, in this moment. he can feel it, smell it, see it. he knows just how much you want him because he wants you the same way.
your pants and underwear are off in one shot, a gasp leaving your mouth when you realize you’re completely bare in front of him.
he’s quick to look at your face to see if you’re okay, that teary wide-eyed look and teeth sinking in your lip greeting him; another whiney and mumbled “touch me,” leaves your mouth before he can ask.
a smile lights up his face that makes your heart jump even through this all, a teasing look in his eye even through the arousal and painful hardness in his pants.
“say please, angel.”
“please touch me, yeonjun. please.”
his fingers are on your clit right after the words leave you, your mouth hanging open and legs spreading when you’re immediately filed with a sense of some relief.
“you’re so wet for me, angel. how long have you wanted this, huh?”
you babble out something you can’t even hear through your pounding ears but it must be something good and polite enough because you feel a finger enter you a few seconds later.
he hisses at the tightness around his finger and has to remember to be gentle with you, fingering you slowly and sweetly as he toys at your clit.
“you’re doing so good, baby. so good for me.”
you cry out a moan that has his fingers moving quicker, curling them just right before you scream out his name; you’ve never ever felt anything like this before.
“yeonjun, oh, my god.”
“i know, baby, it’s okay,” he says, allowing his fingers to work over you and in you for a few seconds before he forces himself to remove them. your head shoots up and the sight almost makes him smile, a frustrated look in your teary eyes that has him cocking his head.
“why did you-”
the fingers just inside you are below your chin, the slickness of his fingers on your skin making you widen your eyes. is that... is he about to make you...
you hold back another moan when you watch him raise his fingers to his own mouth, his eyes rolling back when he tastes you. you don’t know if you’re a little grossed out or even more turned on but you think it must be the latter if the way your legs start to shake again and your lower stomach tightens.
“you taste so fucking sweet, angel. can i eat your pussy?”
he could tell how scared you were when you first got here, not seeing a hint of that fear now but still needing to check before he pulls you on his face and has his way with you.
“y-yes, please, yeonjun, oh my-”
you can’t even get the words out before his hands are taking off your shirt, removing the straps of your bra and pushing them down until your boobs pop out.
perky nipples spring into the air and he can’t stop the groan that leaves him, circling his tongue around each of them before he tells you to unhook it. your eyes meet his for just a few seconds before you reach out to take it off, quickly throwing it on the floor before you, without thinking, cover yourself.
his eyes flash and he immediately snaps out of his trance, placing his hands on your arms but not attempting to move them.
“what are you doing, angel?”
and it’s at this moment, something as silly as him seeing your chest completely naked, that you’re feeling insecure.
you know he’s been with girls before this, college girls who definitely have bigger boobs than you and know what they’re doing. girls who are prettier and sexier and don’t blush or whine at the slightest hint of his touch of them.
“i... i know you’ve been with prettier girls before. an-and i don’t think they’re that nice.”
“angel, i don’t know if i’ve gotten this across enough but you’re the most beautiful girl i’ve ever met,” he says, the sweetest words to ever leave his mouth not even making him blink.
because he needs you to know in this moment that you are. he can’t stand the insecure, fearful look in your eye that he’s not gonna find you desirable because you’re comparing yourself to other people.
“that’s a lie,” you weakly mumble out, tears stinging your eyes because this is so stupid. now you’re ruining the moment and he’s not gonna wanna do this with you. you’re proving just how inexperienced and unfamiliar you are with-
“i don’t lie.”
your eyebrow raises and he can’t help but smirk, the realization that your whole relationship started off lying to your teacher making him let out a deep chuckle.
“i mean i don’t lie to you, angel, i would never lie to you,” he says, reaching down to press a long kiss on your lips. it’s the most intimate kiss you’ve ever had with him, mouths parting on one another like you’re trying to get all your worries and reassurances out on one another.
him that you’re just as desirable as he knows you are and you that you really don’t know what you’re doing but you wanna do this with him.
“you’re beautiful, baby, and if anyone’s not worthy of the other, it’s me.”
his words make your eyebrows pull together, the look in his eye one you’ve never seen before. probably the most vulnerable and honest you’ve seen him look at you.
“but i’m gonna do my best to be, angel, so please... don’t think that,” he says, pulling your arms away from your chest.
he feels relief flood through him when you allow him to do say, his head dipping again to place small pecks on your chest before taking another nipple in his mouth.
he moans around you at the same time you do, throwing your head back against his pillow. your fingers lace through the back of his pink hair and you feel your pussy clenching around nothing, moaning out his name when his tongue carefully and slowly licks around the other neglected one.
“you also have the sweetest pussy i’ve ever tasted,” he mumbles around your nipple, swirling his tongue around it one more time before grabbing your hips and throwing himself on his back.
“so sit on my face, angel. now.”
you have no time to feel hesitant or insecure because, one, he pulls you up before you can do anything else and two, you’re far too eager to feel this for the first time.
his tongue latching onto your clit causes you to moan out his name, trying your best to not buck your hips against his face. but his tongue feels like it’s everywhere, flicking at it your clit and up inside you and quickly making your legs shake around him.
your hazy eyes look down and you see his own looking up at you, a hot arousal in them as you cover the rest of his face with your body. pink strands stick to his forehead and you bite down on your lip so you don’t scream, your eyes rolling back when he eats you out like a man starved.
he’s moaning against you and pulling you closer to his face, your hips bucking into his mouth as you whine out his name over and over.
you’re so out of it and dazed with arousal and need that you don’t even think twice when an idea pops into your head.
you buck your hips a tad harder than usual that he disconnects his mouth from you, about to ask if he hurt you somehow before you flip over on his face. your body leans over his stomach until your mouth is by the tight groin of his sweatpants, clumsily slipping down his boxers until his cock springs free.
it’s hard and red and looks completely neglected, screaming to be relieved by you.
so even though you have no idea what you’re doing, only guided by works of fiction and things you hear in the hallway, you wrap your mouth around the head of his cock.
you hear him growl at your name but only continue to suck him off, your tongue circling around him as your mouth moves up and down. you smile when he moans against your pussy just so moan around his a few seconds later, like he knew you were smiling against him at hearing that noise leave him.
he didn’t think he could get any harder than he already was but you continue to impress him and prove him wrong, his mouth working quicker on you to aid in his growing arousal.
a loud moan of your name leaves his mouth when you deep throat him, a growled “fuck,” against your wetness that makes you whine against him.
“i wanna fuck your mouth so badly,” he growls against you, wrapping his tongue around your clit just as you let out a strangled “please.” but he only shakes his head and continues his vigorous assault, sticking two fingers inside you that causes your scream to be muffled around his cock.
“you’re gonna come first, angel. i want you to come on my fucking face.”
and even though he already seemed to know it from the moment he met you, he sees that what he wants from you, he’s always gonna get.
your lower stomach tightens before a feeling of euphoria consumes you, your legs shaking and hips bucking before an orgasm rips right through you. your head is leant against his head as you try to catch your breath, whining slightly when he pulls you off of him.
he lays you down gently on the bed before placing a kiss to your cheek.
“you did so good, angel. how do you feel?”
“mmm.. that was the best thing i’ve ever felt.”
a deep laugh leaves him at your sleepy, dazed look, taking his shirt off so he can dab at your wet legs. you wince a little at the sensitivity and he mumbles an apology, laying on his back and opening his arms to you.
“lay with me, baby.”
a small smile crosses your face as you fall into his bare chest, sighing contently with your head resting over his chest. you can hear his heartbeat against your ear and feel his lips against your head, his fingers running over your arm slowly.
you’ve never been more comfortable and at ease than you are in this moment. even with the storm raging outside and the unknown parts of your relationship still coming, you feel happy.
happy and safe and so stupidly content.
“angel?”
you look up at him when you hear his voice break the silence, your chin against his chest as you meet his gaze.
he smiles upon seeing you, his hand coming up to pat down your messy hair.
“i like you. a lot.”
you bite down on your lip to hide your growing smile, daringly taking the first move to press a sweet peck on his lips.
“i like you, too. a lot, a lot,” you giggle out, the pink on your cheeks making his heart squeeze in his chest. “but i think you already knew that.”
“i was hoping,” he hums lowly, bringing you back into his chest. you smile against him as you inhale his scent, moving your body closer to him until you feel your leg hit a hard, fleshy piece of skin.
your eyes widen and pulse quickens when you see he’s still hard and aching, the content look on his face completely disregarding it.
“yeonjun...” you mumble, shamelessly staring at his dick a few inches from your leg.
he peeks an eye open and sees you staring down at it, a sheepish smile crossing his face; he looks a tad embarrassed and you shouldn’t find it as endearing as you do.
“sorry. it’ll go down eventually.”
eventually being when he gets up to go to the bathroom and jerks himself off. because there’s no way in hell he’s gonna go flaccid with you all naked and cuddled against him.
“you mean you’re not gonna fuck me?”
his eyes widen and cock twitches when those words leave your mouth, his hand falling to your jaw so you can look at him. his eyes roam your face when he sees the heavy desire building in your wide-eyed gaze, the perfect contrast of sweet and lustful that has him holding back a groan.
“where did you learn to talk like this?” he hums lowly in your ear.
you smirk against him before you bring your hand up to his mouth, his eyes searching yours. but you’re only staring back just as intensely, rubbing yourself against his leaking cock laying between you.
“spit on it, please.”
he can’t even stop his groan from leaving him this time, painfully hard and ready to bust. you learned so fast what he likes and that’s when you’re both polite and eager.
“baby girl,” he moans, bringing his face down to place a messy, dominating kiss on yours. he pulls your mouths apart after allowing his tongue to explore your mouth, a string of spit connecting your lips.
his eyes fall to your mouth before he’s tipping your head back, your hand clutching onto his shoulder and tightening when, suddenly, he spits in your mouth.
your eyes widen but he smirks before you can say anything, wordlessly bringing your hand to his mouth and spitting on it as you so requested. you let out a shaky sigh, eyeing him warily before he gives you a nod.
it’s only then that you wrap your hand around his cock, watching as his eyes flutter shut and he leans his head back.
“there u go, angel,” he hums lowly, your hand twisting over the tip before exploring down.
he can feel your hesitance and unsureness but it only makes it that much more enjoyable for him, knowing this is the first time you’ve done this - although he does wonder how you knew to spit on it first.
his words spur you on and you wet your hand again, twisting and turning on every ridge of his cock. his moans of your name cause wetness to gather between your legs, your eyes meeting his to see them right on you.
“please fuck me, yeonjun.”
you didn’t have to ask him twice before he pushed you on your back. he fumbled to take his sweatpants off fully, discarding them on the floor before pulling you toward the end of bed.
you look down at him with furrowed eyebrows before a loud gasp leaves you, his mouth back on your pussy before he slides two fingers in. he preps you again until you’re coming around him, his mouth hot around you while his fingers are curled and relentless.
“p-please, yeonjun. i wanna- feel you.”
“and you will, angel, i promise,” he says, pressing one last kiss to your swollen, wet clit before going up to your face. “you’ve never done this before, right?”
he knows it and you know it but he still needs to ask. needs to know he’s gonna be the first person to take you and ruin you.
“no,” you immediately respond, shaking your head as tears well up in your eyes.
he responds by smiling, placing one last long kiss on your mouth before cupping your face gently.
“it might hurt, okay? i’ll go as slow as you need.”
you nod your head as you relax on your back, looking down to see him positioning himself between your legs. he swirls the tip of his dick around your wet clit and opening, watching as your dripping hole tries to suck him in.
“holy fuck,” he growls out, “you’re so wet, baby. it’s gonna feel so fucking good.”
you whine unintelligible words but he knows to just soothe you. bring his hand to your waist and rub slowly as he promises to be in you soon.
the stretch at first in painful and unfamiliar, your face pulled into a grimace despite the deep groan leaving him.
“oh, angel,” he growls lowly, his dark eyes meeting yours to see your face twisted in pain. “are you okay? does it hurt?”
“y-yes, but it’s okay. just... slow,” you say quietly, nodding your head reassuringly.
he hovers over your face as he inches himself in further and further, your breaths shaky and body tense as the pain worsens.
“i’m sorry, baby, you’re doing so good.”
you nod your head and he kisses away the tears, a sigh of relief leaving you when he stops moving. he’s still inside you for a few seconds, allowing your tight walls to adjust around him before he starts moving.
it takes a few thrusts for the burning pain to subside, replaced by a full, warm feeling that had you moaning quietly into the air.
“does it feel good now, baby?” you hear yeonjun ask, his thrusts speeding up as his body lays over you. “do you like my cock in you?”
“y-yes,” you mumble out, throwing your legs around his waist.
he growls lowly as he starts fucking into you, keeping his pace steady and just hard enough to make you lose your mind; because he doesn’t wanna hurt you but you also feel so good, he can’t help but chase after his orgasm.
“tell me you’re mine.”
“i-i’m yours, yeonjun,” you whimper out, his hand coming down to your clit making you cry out again. “i’m yours. yours, yours, yours,” you repeat dumbly, having no sense of control over yourself as an immense pleasure builds inside you.
he thrusts into you hitting a certain spot that has a scream leaving your mouth, a sadistic smirk on his face.
“that’s right, angel. you’re mine. you’ve been mine ever since i saw you last year,” he growls lowly, remembering the first time he saw you and knew you were gonna somehow effect him like this.
“i wanted to ruin you then, baby, because i knew you’d be mine.”
“yeonjun,” you whine, thrusting your hips into him at his words. remembering all the times he caught you staring at him. all the times you’d watch him and thought about how handsome he was.
how someone like him would never want someone like you.
but he wants you and you want him and it’s still something you can’t quite believe. you know you’re both different but it seems to be something that works, him bringing you out of your comfort zone and you making him wanna be someone better.
“i’m gonna come, angel,” he grunts out, “i’m gonna fucking come. come with me.”
you feel the knot in your stomach unravel before you’re both moaning each other’s names, chests heaving and his breathing harsh as he holds himself lazily above you.
he drops his head into the crook of your neck, attempting to catch his breath despite the feeling of your post orgasm spazzing around him.
the pounding takes a few seconds to subside, a final moan leaving him before he pulls out of you.
he’s quick to collapse onto his back, hanging his arm off the bed lazily as he searches for his shirt.
he cleans you up a few moments later, watching you with a small smile before he pulls you down onto him again.
“how was that?” he mumbles quietly, his eyes closed and head resting atop yours.
“really good,” you mumble back, your own eyes closed as you attempt to catch your breath. you still feel a little sticky but it’s not something you mind in this moment, your post orgasm daze leaving you content.
it could be the post orgasm daze making you say the next words that leave your mouth. on such a high of emotions and endorphins and utter contentment that the warm feeling in your chest if confused.
or maybe it’s the months of getting to know the boy beside you who had such a bad reputation. who you were terrified of at first and thought was mean an scary, thought for sure he was gonna find you weird and nerdy.
but you’ve never felt more wanted or desired by another person. no one’s ever looked at you the way he’s looked at you before or made you feel the way he’s made you feel.
“i... i think i love you, yeonjun.”
love had always scared yeonjun and especially hearing a confession like that after sex - it had always been his worst nightmare and, truthfully, an embarrassing moment.
but he’s never felt as listened to and comforted by someone else ever in his life before. someone who, from the second he met them, trusted him and thought of him to be good and smart and capable.
he didn’t know why and he didn’t know what he did for you to think of him that way but he knows he’s never gonna take it for granted. because from the second he saw you, he really did know you were gonna be his.
“i think i might love you, too, angel.”
#hello my first txt fic#pls look forward to it#also use protection <3 jdfkvks#yeonjun#yeonjun fluff#yeonjun angst#yeonjun smut#txt fluff#txt angst#txt smut#yeonjun scenarios#yeonjun imagines#txt scenarios#txt imagines
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Hi! You're currently the only HP blog I follow (I've been out of the fandom for several years), but I'm wondering if you have the time/inclination if you could point me in the direction of what might be considered some quintessential drarry fics? I have a craving to jump back in but no idea where to begin!
Hello friendly nonnie. First of all, I'm very curious to know why am I the only HP blog you follow, and very honoured at the same time. Thanks for reaching out, I hope I can help you with it!
So here we go. I have a few favourites and classics that I believe everyone should read. I hope you enjoy them :)
Buckle up and jump back in with our drarry squad!!!
Turn by Saras Girl - 306K, E
One good turn always deserves another. Apparently.
Grounds for Divorce by @tepre - 122K, E
Malfoy finds a coin. Harry finds a letter. A story about histories, a story about families. A story about a lemon tree somewhere in Upper Egypt.
Little Compton Street (One Rainy Night in Soho) by @writcraft - 65k, E
Draco is lonely, Harry hates the press and it won’t stop raining in London. Harry discovers a magical street that’s close to disappearing forever and Draco realises he’s one rainy night in Soho away from finding everything he’s been searching for.
Modern Love by @tackytigerfic - 61k, E
Harry Potter, of all people, knows that life isn’t always fair. And no one gets to be happy all of the time. But surely there’s something more—something better—than a rubbish Ministry job, and a lonely old house, and that feeling that everyone out there is doing a better job of living than Harry is.
If an Injury is to be Inflicted by @shealwaysreads - 44k, E
If an injury has to be done to a man it should be so severe that his vengeance need not be feared.
Here's the Pencil Make it Work by ignatioustrout - 44k, M
Harry thinks "Why is Malfoy working in a coffee shop in muggle London?" is a much simpler question than, "Are you going to accept that auror offer and, if you don't, what will you do?"
I bet you look good on the dancefloor by birdsofshore - 27k, M
Harry felt lit up from inside as soon as he entered the bar. There were blokes dancing together, their bodies close to one another, not keeping a wary distance as Harry was always careful to do when he was near another man. God, he wanted this – wanted it so much he could taste it, a metallic tang of heat and desire. He suspected nothing would ever be the same again – especially when he saw who else was in the room.
Running on air by @tinyhistory - 74k, T
Draco Malfoy has been missing for three years. Harry is assigned the cold case and finds himself slowly falling in love with the memories he collects.
Little deaths and how to avoid them by @greaseonmymouth & art by dustmouth - 94
Malfoy is way too interested in coroner reports for somebody who's definitely not looking for ways to die, Harry wants to be friends with him, and Ginny wants to break up with Harry.
Shibboleths by @lol-zeitgeistic - 109K, M
Muggle Immersion co-Professor Harry Potter spends his days hanging with his son, reading to his "dog," teaching magical kids about the internet with his cousin Dudley, and irritating Snape’s portrait. He’s understandably annoyed when his cosy life is interrupted by the Headmistress hiring on Draco Malfoy to be Hogwarts’ new Ancient Magical Cultures and Spellcasting professor. But then the explosion happens, and it turns out they'll all need Malfoy's knowledge if they want the magical world to survive.
The Ordeal of Being Known by @lou-isfake - 146k, M
When Auror Potter is anonymously cursed with silence by being forced to hide his own voice inside his mind, there's unfortunately only one person in the country with the qualifications to fix it: Certified and Licensed Healer Legilimens, Draco Malfoy, specialist in Mind Curses and Afflictions. It's obviously a terrible idea, a disaster waiting to happen, but Draco's never been able to back down from a challenge... especially from Potter.
Dwelling by aideomai - 83k, M
Curses, James and Lily Potter ride again, several Ministry balls, a teenage Summer of Love, a grim young adult dystopian winter, a few different Draco Malfoys, secrets and the problems re: not having any, alternate lives, impossible lives, real lives, allusions to Dirty Dancing, and just because it's not called the Mirror of Erised doesn't mean you shouldn't know better.
Hermione Granger's Hogwarts Crammer for Delinquents on the Run by @waspabi - 93k, T
'You're a wizard, Harry' is easier to hear from a half-giant when you're eleven, rather than from some kids on a tube platform when you're seventeen and late for work.
In the Shadow of your Heart by @lqtraintracks - 51k, E
And thus began the very strange circumstance of their fake dating in public and real fucking in absolute secret. It was, with no comparison, the weirdest relationship Draco had ever been in – which was to say, it wasn't one.
Freedom to be by @quicksilvermaid - 169k, E
Harry Potter is the Boy Who Lived. 12 years after the war, he's become the Boy Who Lived For Everyone Else. He has the perfect wife. The perfect house. The perfect job. The perfect friends. Only nothing feels perfect. Until one day he stumbles across a club called Release and begins a journey of self-discovery that takes him to a very different place.
I believe 15 is a wrap. lol, I'm sorry I went overboard xD I could keep on going forever ;) I'll add here @sitp-recs list of Drarry for beginners. She organised a very nice list of tropes and their classics, it's brilliant!
Welcome back to Drarry, lovely nonnie! :3 Love, tai
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Bagginshield fic list
Yeah, I decided to make one too because there are enough to cause me headaches and I'd like to have them somewhere organized. Please look at the tags before reading them!
Fix-it fics
Desperate magic by BeautifulFiction: Bilbo is left to tend Thorin as he hovers on the brink of death after the Battle of the Five Armies. Is love enough to save Erebor's king, or is this the last farewell?
Lay your troubles down by Avelera: An extended version of "the acorn scene." Bilbo sees his chance to snap Thorin out of his madness, and takes it.
The Riven Crown by BeautifulFiction: The aftermath of war is no laughing matter. Those who died must be honoured, those who are wounded must be healed, and those who remain need food and clothing, peace and sanctuary. With Thorin's life hanging in the balance, it is up to Bilbo and the rest of the Company to rule the rag-tag remnants of Erebor in his place. Then there is the matter of the gold... Can Bilbo save both king and kingdom, or is Erebor destined to fall deeper into ruin?
The Color of Possibility by lindoreda: When Bilbo puts himself between Thorin and Azog's blade, his mithril shirt protecting them both, it isn't long before some dwarves whisper that 'Oakenshield' might not be the best epithet for their king anymore. But for Bilbo, barred from Thorin's sight since the battle, this new epithet only adds to the sting. Spending his days caring for the recovering princes, Bilbo wonders how much more of this he can take, not suspecting his place at the center of a silent divide in the company.
Homesick by Margo_Kim: Five years after they've reclaimed Erebor, Thorin is sick of home, Bilbo is just sick, and neither is handling the situation ideally.
The Road Delivered Us Home by keelywolfe: In the years since Bilbo left Erebor, he has lost his respectability, gained a nephew, and gotten on with life at Bag End. He'd left aside adventure for the comforts and peace of his little Hobbit hole, and for the love of a child who needed him. Though perhaps, adventures can yet find him.
Notices in the Paper by YamBits: Bilbo returns to the Shire after his adventure, newly married, and newly homeless, after his two year absence allowed the Sackville-Bagginses to obtain Bag End. Bilbo and Thorin go to the Tooks for help, and find newly orphaned Frodo Baggins, also looking for a home.
A Royal Guardianship by ladyoakenshields: When Bilbo and Thorin return to the Shire for a sabbatical during Yuletide, they find a reason to retire the throne in Erebor sooner than expected.
The Shire's gems by awkwarng3: Thorin, Bilbo, and Frodo move to the Shire after raising Frodo in Erebor, and Frodo makes a friend.
Time travel fix-it fics
An expected journey by MarieJacquelyn: For years Bilbo has written about his adventures and told stories about his dealings with dwarves and dragons. To most it seemed like fanciful nonsense but to Bilbo it was all very real. A weight followed him home from his travels, one called regret. Now in his final moments Bilbo has a choice to make – go quietly into death’s embrace or go back again and face all the fear and pain for the chance to make things right? Of course, change is a fickle thing and not everything can be done again as Bilbo is about to find out. In the end, it may not only be salvation that he’s fighting for.
Bilbo Baggins, warrior of the Valar by Pallalalo: Bilbo raised his eyebrows. “And you’ve come to the Shire to look for this someone? My, Gandalf, I wonder if you know Hobbits at all. They would tell you that adventures are nasty, disturbing, uncomfortable things. That they would make you late for dinner.” Bilbo recalled his own words perfectly. It had been something he and Gandalf had looked back on with bittersweet laughter. This Gandalf however noticed his exact words. “Would they now? And what about you, mhm? What would you tell me about adventures?” #The Valar send Bilbo back in time, to the day where Gandalf asks him to join in an adventure. After living a lifetime of regret and suffering, he vows to change things for the better. For Thorin. For Frodo. But will he succeed?
I'll die to care for you by thehufflepuffhobbit: His gaze landed on Mahal's eyes once more. "You did your best, Thorin." It was tempting to look away; he wanted to deny that with everything he had. It certainly didn't feel as though falling into Gold Sickness and then dying was doing his best. Mahal smirked, as though he knew Thorin's desire to contradict him, and pinched his cheek before walking over to a table. "Aye, I didn't think you would believe me. I'm not lying, it certainly could have gone better. More according to my plan, but I know you really did try." "Your plan?" He didn't know if he should ask, really. Knowing that his Maker had set a course for him, he didn't want to think about the ways he had done everything wrong. There were too many examples of mistakes in his long life, too many opportunities that he had missed that had probably been planned for him from the beginning. Or:Mahal feels like Thorin fucked up his legacy and gives him a do over.
Darker times ahead by Reach4theSky: Bilbo is sailing to the Undying Lands but wary of letting go of the guilt that has been with him for many decade. His most sincerest wish is to go back and change what was done. Before reaching the lands of peace and healing, he dies aboard the ship and finds that his wish is being granted, not because he is the one to wish it but because this is the dwarves last chance to escape a fate of eternal waiting. He finds that not only is he going to be sent back to his younger body, but so is the entire Company of Thorin Oakenshield. Time is a fickle thing and not all the members have their memories returned to them at the same time. The journey on becomes interesting as the dwarves slowly remember and fight for themselves and their kin, yet new hurdles are thrown at them when they realize that more people remember than expected...
Of an arcane binding by Salvia_G: An inexplicable magic ties Bilbo Baggins, hobbit of the Shire, to Thorin, dwarven prince of Erebor.
Legends by DomesticGoddess: The fellowship has set out on its noble quest to destroy the ring and put an end to the threat that is Sauron! Just set out really, barely left the gates of Imladris, but things are going smoothly enough so far. That is until the two most unlikely party crashers fall upon their little fellowship. Uncle Bilbo and the Legendary Thorin Oakenshield?! Frodo just wants to know what's going on but the two of them won't stop hollering at each other long enough for anyone to get a word in edgewise. Suddenly, their little group is joined by Frodo's two biggest heroes and he discovers there was a lot more to Uncle Bilbo's stories than he realized.
Beside myself by bliboboggins: "What are you doing? Just who do you think you are?" Startled, Bilbo turned around slowly. And there, in a familiar patchwork dressing gown, brandishing a fire poker wildly about, was... Bilbo.
Erebor never fell au fics
The hearth doesn't make the home by Moonrose91: For things Bilbo could not change, he was condemned to a life of isolation, with the belief that none could love him. And then a Dwarf came to Hobbiton.
Clarity of vision by Mithen: In a Middle-Earth where Erebor never fell, a shadow remains in the heart of the Lonely Mountain. Bilbo Baggins finds himself drawn reluctantly into a quest that will lead him across the continent--from Bree to Lake Evendim to the icy North and beyond--with a party of five dwarves searching for an artifact that will cure the ailing King Thrór.
Ghivashel by mdseiran: The last thing Bilbo expects when he stays up late one night is company. The strange dwarf and his companion crash into his life and prove unexpected saviours. But the dwarf seems to think he will be joining them on their travels, and Bilbo has no such intentions.
The Song of My Heart by DomesticGoddess: After a failed attempt of trying to carve out a new home in the Blue Mountains for his people, Thorin finds himself beseeching the Hobbit Thain and his council for a place for his people in their bountiful land. An agreement is struck and plans in the works for integrating his people into their land. The only condition being an arranged marriage between himself and one of their family heads. A small price to pay to see his people safe and well fed. Unfortunately, he’s to marry the most disagreeable hobbit in all the Shire who also seems to hold a personal grudge against him. If only he could figure out why his new betrothed hates him so much.
Oak and Mistletoe by HildyJ: After a life dominated by a strange form of sickness, Thorin is sent to the Shire to seek a cure only Bilbo Baggins can offer.
Karkûn shukula - A Cinderella AU by harrypanther: When the Prince of the Shire visits the Kingdom of Erebor, there is great excitement. There are hopes he will choose to marry one of the Royal Family, cementing an alliance that would secure food supplies for the dwarven Kingdom and gain new allies. All eligible dwarves are expected to attend a series of Balls. Unknown to the guests, there is a third royal child, manoeuvred out by his ambitious stepmother, for whom this may be his last chance of restoring his fortunes and escaping his fate…
Alone this Yuletide by Emsiecat: 'Alone this Yuletide? Irritated with prying and nosey family members? I am an out of work blacksmith currently trying to make my way by any means necessary that does not involve my resorting to thievery (prisons are most uncomfortable, I've unfortunate first hand experience). However, if you would like me to be your strictly platonic companion for any social function, but have me pretend that we are in a serious courtship, so as to torment your family and ward off unwanted suitors then I am more than obliging...' After becoming increasingly irritated by overtures of romance from various Shire residents following the death of his mother four years ago, Bilbo is more than ready to resort to desperate measures. That is, up to and including pretending to be in a serious relationship with a certain surly blacksmith currently inhabiting the Bindbale Woods. It's a good idea after all; all they have to do is pretend to be in love over the Yuletide period and Bilbo's family and suitors will surely leave him alone after that. It's perfect! And nothing can possibly go wrong, right? Certainly nothing as preposterous as falling for one another for real...
Modern au fics
Nothing gold can stay by perkynurples: Bilbo Baggins led a rather peaceful life, thank you very much, until an old acquaintance decided to turn it upside down, and he found himself agreeing to take a job that’s… let’s say not exactly up his alley, and might eventually cost him a little more than his treasured cozy lifestyle. Who would have thought tutoring a slightly menacing monarch’s more than slightly overbearing nephew could prove to be such an adventure?
Love-In-Idleness by perkynurples: Taking Bilbo Baggins, a successful movie actor who is only just getting used to the perks and intricacies of becoming A Face People Want To See, and putting him together with Thorin Oakenshield, with his very traditional (read: slightly backwards) ideas about what constitutes Real Art and Real Talent, might very well be viewed as just some clothead’s idea of a joke. But there are jokes, and then there are carefully calculated risks the size of controversial reproductions of classic Shakespearean plays - for Bilbo, it is the chance of a lifetime to prove himself to all those who have ever deemed him too one-dimensional to even attempt stage, while Thorin has the opportunity to get out of the rut that’s been hindering his career for so long now, and shine in a role worthy of his talent once again. That is if the two learn how to share the same space for more than ten minutes without wanting to tear each other’s hair out. The course of true love never did run smooth, after all…
Candid by northerntrash: Thorin wasn't entirely sure why there was a six-foot candid photograph of him hanging in this exhibition, but he was going to wring the neck of whoever had put it there. In which Bilbo is a photographer, Thorin an accidental model, and Gandalf just likes to make trouble for everyone.
How the west was won and where it got us by stickman: Bilbo is a harried 1st year British literature Ph.D. (early 20th century fiction) who happens to have an interest in spatial narrative structures, a lack of time-management skills, and a tiny apartment with a lot of books and very little furniture. He’s stressed, always, and doesn't quite know where he belongs. He tells himself that really, this is, in fact, what he wants to be doing. But sometimes, as much as he loves books, he gets an urge to do something with his hands. Thorin is a disgruntled M.Arch. 1 in his last year who can’t be arsed to shave and frightens his students, and, frankly, his profs, but his work is top-notch so no one can really say much. They can, however, bully him into running a hands-on design workshop on Saturday mornings, which is complete crap, because he’s used to drinking his Friday nights into oblivion so showing up at Milstein at 7:45 the next morning and trying to teach in a room of wall-to-wall windows as the sun rises is not at the top of his list. Besides, no one ever shows up. Except one morning, someone does. [graduate school AU]
Butterfly effect by eyra: Yoga wasn’t for him. Yoga was for interesting people. Luminous people; people who took gap years and spoke a foreign language. People who ate lentils and burned incense and had fantastic, colourful friends with fantastic, colourful lives full of travel and silent retreats and those baggy trousers with elephants on them. Yoga was decidedly not for people like Bilbo, who wore cardigans and ate beans on toast and whose linguistic capabilities stretched only as far as a rusty Spanish A-Level. Just your regular story of boy meets yoga instructor.
Remover of the obstacles by MistakenMagic: "Dis often chided her older brother for being a misanthropist. She did it so often it had become a term of endearment. It was true that Thorin struggled with people; he struggled to form and maintain relationships. Dr. Grey had diagnosed him with this and Thorin hadn’t the heart to tell him this wasn’t a symptom of his PTSD, it was a symptom of his personality. He exercised a sense of apathy with almost everyone he met… But Bilbo was different. Thorin actually found himself wanting to know more about him."
Color outside the lines by andquitefrankly: Kindergarten has just gotten significantly better. Just ask Thorin, who's got the biggest crush on the new kid in class, Bilbo Baggins. With the help of his friends, Thorin knows that he can take back the swings from the 1st graders, show up the K-1 class in the school pageant, and win the heart of one curly haired boy. Yup. Kindergarten is going to be a year to remember.
Bran' New Suit by pibroch (littleblackdog): Andrew's description had been sufficient to recognize him— a riot of honey brown curls, short in stature, a well-favoured face with expressive features— but it hadn't quite been enough to prepare Tom for the sharp, almost painful tug in his gut at the sight of the man. They had never met before, to the best of Tom's recollection, but there was something eerily and inexplicably familiar about him all the same.
Different species au fics
I've grown a hedge around my heart by pibroch (littleblackdog): "Thorin was the essence of so many Buckland oddities, distilled into one misfortunate young hobbit, much to his infinite embarrassment. Built like a stork, his father had said once, in an example of Thrain Brandybuck’s usual tactless humour. All beak and legs." Thorin Brandybuck, just recently come of age, still lives in his family’s smial in Buckland, with his parents and two younger siblings. Thorin is an odd duck amongst his relations and neighbours-- unsociable, grumpy, shy, and awkward. And beyond that, he looks rather strange even for a Bucklander, strongly favouring the thick, dark haired build of his Stoorish blood. It defies all sense and reason why Bilbo Baggins, an exemplar of all the respectable traits Thorin lacked, would ever desire a friendship with him. Bilbo, as Thorin discovers, is not always as sensible as he appears.
In which the dwarves are satyrs for reasons by HiddenKitty What the title says basically.
Bride of the demon king by DomesticGoddess: Thorin is King of the demons, a beast-like race feared by humans. Ever since the demons and humans formed a truce years ago, the humans have sent a young human every year as a tribute to the King of demons. Thorin is tired of having to deal with the tribute that has long since lost its meaning. The only tribute he'd be interested in is the boy he met fifteen years ago on the border of the demon and human realms. Despite his fantasies, Thorin knows the chances of ever seeing the boy again are slim to none, until they're not.
Lost He Wandered Under Leaves by serenbach: Thorin son of Thrain is a struggling blacksmith descended from a fallen line of kings. In an attempt to provide for his family over the winter, he reluctantly accepts an impossible sounding task - to hunt down an enchanted deer that lives in the Old Forest that borders the Shire, and make armour and weapons from its hide and antlers. He never expected to succeed. And he certainly never expected what he found to change his life so completely.
A Dryad's Tale by Bilbo Baggins by Moongazer12: Bilbo is a dryad (think little sibling to ents). Long ago a curse was placed upon him from destroying one of the rings of power. Whenever he touches someone with his bare skin he will make them insane. But despite this, he and Gandalf have gone on many adventures to help protect Middle Earth (What was the point to destroying the ring if something else destroyed it instead?) Gandalf has called on him once again to help on a quest, Bilbo just hopes that they read his amendments to the contract.
The quest but with a twist au fics
King, come at the red morning by Tawabids: Bilbo has heard fairytales of the lost prince of the dwarves, Thorin son of Thrain, who disappeared the day Smaug attacked the Lonely Mountain. But he does not believe in fairytales until he comes across the dwarf sleeping in the depths of Erebor, and kisses him back to life. Now Thorin - a hundred and fifty years out of his time - has to confront a world in which his city is empty, his people scattered, his baby brother Frerin is king, two nephews he's never met are missing in action, and a war is brewing right on his doorstep. And as if that wasn't complicated enough he's trapped in the body of an old man and falling stupidly in love with a gossipy, grudging little hobbit.
When the sun rises by Harry1981: Bilbo Baggins of Bag End was not a very respectable Hobbit. No respectable Hobbit had a sword and crossbow hanging in their home, nor did they have Dwarves as family. But Bilbo Baggins did, and all of Shire knew of his husband, blacksmith Thorin Oakenshield. When Bilbo comes home to find his Husband earlier than expected, he learns of a quest to reclaim Erebor. It is a death mission. Bilbo knows that Dwarves are stubborn creatures, and none more than Thorin himself. But nobody said that Bilbo himself was any less stubborn. So he will follow his dearest husband across all of Middle Earth, through plains and mountains and forests, all while hiding the true nature of their relationship (Dwarven politics never helped anyone), brushing off some old wounds (and getting new ones) and finding out new things about the dwarf Bilbo calls husband (and his extended family). Nobody ever said love was easy, after all.
Small, but fierce by DomesticGoddess: As a result of a magical mishap during the trip to the lonely mountain, Bilbo is reverted to a wee little hobbitling. Only in body, of course. His adult mind is still very aware of the indignity of it all (seriously! He doesn't need to be coddled, carried, and fed like a child). It turns out, dwarves love children and there is nothing cuter than Hobbit children. Bilbo soon realizes that he can get away with just about anything in his babyish form and starts taking full advantage of it. Even the grumpy brooding king can't deny the angelic little creature anything he desires (and Bilbo's going to milk that for all it's worth).
Your song like a home in my heart by Nennvial: In Middle Earth, all creatures have a soulmate. Not all have some, but if they do, it is a bond nothing can break, not even death. The more famous story of such a bound was the story of Bren and Luthien, who even defied detath. The way someone can find out that the other is one’s soulmate is through song: when they meet and hear the voice of the other, a song sings in their heart, which feels like home and makes them complete. They may refuse it if they wish to do so, but they hence risk a life of bitter looniness. Thorin Oakenshield and Bilbo Baggins are soulmates, but they must admit it to themselves throughout their journey to Erebor.
To Dungeons Deep (And Caverns Old) by KingUndertheMountain: Bilbo Baggins was not your average hobbit. Of course, he had the wonderfully groomed and well-taken-care-of hairy feet like every other one of his race, yes, but he was not like other hobbits. He was cursed. Or, as the witch who gave him the enchantment put it, was “gifted”. She had given him the “gift” of obedience – whenever there was a direct command given to him, for example “cook a large meal” or “take a walk”, he could not disobey. Not without a lot of pain and eventual submission.
Chocolate candy one-shots
The world is sleeping (my world is you) by katheneverwrites (mandolinearts): I asked Persephone, “How could you grow to love him? He took you from flowers to a kingdom where not a single living thing can grow.” Persephone smiled, “My darling, every flower on your earth withers. What Hades gave me was a crown made for the immortal flowers in my bones.” - Nikita Gill ---“What do you mean, my friend?” There is a line of thought that surfaces in Gandalf’s mind, but he drowns it before it can take root. Surely not. But Bilbo’s chuckle sets him on edge. The small, gentle god of harvest, nature, and flowers sits up straighter, and in his crown of flowers there is a wire of strong metal, his cloak is suddenly not colorful anymore but the deepest black and he is terrifying, horrific, powerful - “I married Thorin Oakenshield, King Under the World.”
Of seasons by northerntrash: As far as he could tell, he had been kidnapped, which in itself made this week more than a little unusual. In which Bilbo steals away the Lord of Death, and Thorin can't quite bring himself to stay angry about it.
Warm up by paranoid_fridge: On one of their walks, Bilbo tumbles into a stream. They make it back to Bag End and Bilbo demands Thorin warm him up.
Royal Blue And Crimson Red by Mistofstars: Here's what happened before and after Bilbo accidentally eavesdrops on Gandalf and Elrond at night in Rivendell, as they discuss Thorin's quest and his family's history. Oh, and Thorin and Bilbo share a room, of course ;)
I was young when I left home by Margo_Kim: There was a pity clapper somewhere in the third row. Thorin finished his fourth song to polite applause from the people who noticed that the song was finished, but within the smattering of claps was someone beating his hands together like he was trying to rhythmically kill a fly. There was usually one of those, the kind who notices that no one else is paying attention and so is determined to compensate for that regardless of how they feel about the actual music. Thorin ignored him. It was easy to do so—he'd always hated looking at the audience when the singing was done.
A matter of buttons by StupidFatPenguin: “Your shirt,” says Thorin, quite out of the blue, and Bilbo looks down his front to see if there is a spot of tea or jam or anything equally embarrassing spilled on it. He is relieved to find nothing of the sort and looks up at the dwarf with an eyebrow raised in question. Thorin sits mute, his still-smoking pipe forgotten in his hand. He looks on for long moments still, seems almost lost to a thought before he shifts and lifts his gaze to meet Bilbo’s inquiring face. “It is familiar to me. Did you not wear this on the eve we met?” In which Bilbo and Thorin re-enact the evening they met.
The ladder by Milliethekitty27: Inspired from a post made by wheeloffortune-design on tumblr. Tired of his lonely kitchen in Yavanna's Garden, Bilbo Baggins wonders if the dwarven love of being underground is true in death. If so, maybe his dwarves are living (ha ha) under the very land Bilbo is weeding. With that thought, Bilbo goes and asks Hamfast for a shovel.
Love hobbit by HybridOwl: Bilbo Baggins considers himself a bit of a cock up, all things considered. He never made it out of his small highway adjacent town, can't seem to stop chain-smoking, and overall has more to talk about with the plants in his shop than 90% of all the rest of Middle Earth. So when he's reading the morning paper and a love note that can't be for anyone but him pops up, he's pretty sure - almost positive, really - that he's being made fun of. "TO the chain-smoking little stud who collects two metros from Gamgee's Goods every morning, will you be my love hobbit? - Bearded Biker." (heavily inspired by tumblr posts)
Fusion with other fandoms au fics
The Second Time by authoressjean; Sebastian Moran can't pull the trigger on John Watson to save his own hide, and what the hell is it with the doctor, anyway? Then Gandalf shows up, meddlesome wizard, and reminds him none too gently of his past life: as Thorin Oakenshield, leader of a company that had once included a small hobbit named Bilbo Baggins. One that looked decidedly like John Watson. And this would be the perfect chance to make things right with Bilbo the way he really hadn't been able to before he died, and that's when Gandalf tells him John doesn't remember being Bilbo, and to leave him alone. Right. Like that's going to happen.
And sow a star divided in us by MistakenMagic: Short summary: Gays in space! Longer summary: After his first successful solo mission, Jedi Knight Bilbo Baggins, trained by High Council member and full-time nuisance, Master Gandalf, returns to the Jedi Temple on Coruscant. During an excursion to the sparring arena, he meets a group of Dwarven Jedi from Ered Luin, a mountainous planet located in the Outer Rim. Young padawans, Fili and Kili, are full of curiosity at this strange, barefoot Jedi, but Master Thorin, who appears to have the personality of a rancor and mental shields like blast doors, is less than impressed.
Comics you should definitely check
Every work by rutobuka, seriously they're criminally cute and they're not still favored by everyone without reason.
Retelling the Hobbit by Mellow_Comics: Bilbo has never been good at telling the "true" story of what happened on his journey to the Lonely Mountain. Now he's trying to turn the tale of his quest into a lighthearted children's book-- a bedtime story for his young nephew Frodo. But what really happened on his journey? And how did it actually affect him? This is a comic adaptation/retelling of the Hobbit! It's framed as a bedtime story that Bilbo is telling a younger Frodo.
For now these are some of my personal favourites! However, I'm sure my list will grow since my reading list has some gems still waiting for me to read, so be certain that there will be a part 2 of this list!
#bagginshield#fic list#bagginshield fic#they're a LOT#they're all great#thank you fic writers#thank you artists
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Yarachin Bitch Club x Reader: A Girl?!
I...don’t even know what to say about this...I-...Just hope it’s not total sh*t. Let me know if you want a part 2...
Warnings: Rated R. 18+
You never really planned to move out to the mountains. Your mom had gotten a better job offering with the same company she worked for, and they required that she moved in order to help make it easier for her to get her work done, and for the company to be able to receive it. So basically, in short, you had no idea that one day you would just start packing your bags and move out the the mountains.
Once you moved, you had been changed to homeschooling. It was all online for the first year. Unfortunately, that was also the first year of high school for you. So not only had you moved away, and left all of your friends behind, you also had to spend most of your time in the house doing classwork that teachers from an all-boys school would send. However you did it with no complaints, just the occasional eye roll. Your first year of high school...sucked.
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“Why did you call me down?” You asked your mom as you came down the stairs. Your hair was messy and you rubbed the sleep from your eyes. Your mom was sat at the dinner table.
“Apparently...We got some news from your school regarding this school year.” She said with a small box beside her.
“Let me guess...Papers for my classes? Books? Assignments?” You sighed and rubbed the back of your head.
“No...actually...I was informed that the school requires every student doing a club.” She smiled and opened the box to reveal a custom uniform. “You are going to start attending school full time in person.” You blinked for a moment before looking back up at her.
“An all boys school?”
“Yes...B-but it won’t be so bad! They even told me they had a custom dorm room already ready for you! They assured me that you would have total privacy...,”
“Mom-,”
“Of course you won’t be doing any sports. And they said that they will give you your gym uniform once you actually start school-,”
“Mom!” You smiled a bit. “I’ll be fine.” You said. However, you were a bit nervous. You would be attending school full time at an all boys school. Would anyone blame you for it? Maybe you’d meet some nice people and make some friends. It was better than sitting around on a computer all day.
“Good. You’ll be starting just before mid-terms. The school informed me that they had to send out letters to all the parents to verify that it’s okay.”
“They had to send out letters?”
“Well it is an all boys school dear. Their parents know that too. They just want to make sure that there are no objections.”
“Great...Then the whole school is gonna know about my arrival...,” You sighed. Was this even a good idea? Transferring from online school to in person, at an all boys school. It doesn’t sound too great. However, at this point you just had to grin and bear it.
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And as previously planned, your uniforms came in the mail, and your first day of school was approaching. You currently were busy getting things from your house to the dorms that the school provided. While in an undisclosed location on the campus, a discussion was being held.
“A girl could be horrible for the club! I don’t like it!” One voice said.
“Then again-...It could bring in more business if we can get her in on it.” Said another.
“I hate to burst your bubble, but girls tend to be stuck up.” A third voice said. Along with a hum from someone else.
“What do you think?”
“Ah~,” Moaned out a voice.
“I guess it’s settled then..,”
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And finally, the first day arrived. You would be lying if you said you weren’t nervous. You gulped and fixed the look of your bow in the mirror. Your grey sweater vest was all flat ironed out and nice. As was your skirt, and your school shoes were brand new. A deep breath made it’s way in through your nose and out through your mouth as you grabbed your backpack and started on your walk to the campus.
As you had expected, all eyes were on you as you entered the campus. It made your cheeks heat up from embarrassment and you gulped a bit and gripped tightly onto your bag.
“She’s so cute!”
“Look at her skirt!”
“And her little blush!”
Everyone whispered, not exactly realizing that they were practically screaming what they were thinking. You had just headed to your first class where you were sat in the back as to not distract everyone. Nobody told you that officially, but it just made the most sense. The time you spent in class was much better than your online courses, because now you could ask questions and get immediate answers. It was great! Until lunch...
You sat alone at your lunch table. The boys still threw small glances at you, but most of them were nervous to sit near you at all. That is, until you heard a friendly voice speak up from in front of you.
“Hey! You look a bit lonely...Mind if I join you?” Asked a boy with brown hair and eyes almost the color of honey.
“Not at all!” You smiled back and waved your hand. And soon another guy came over and sat down beside him. He had black hair and greyish blue eyes.
“Hey Toono! Wanna see some pictures I took?” The other guy said.
“S-sure, but you should have asked to sit down first!” He said and motioned to you. You shook your head with a soft smile.
“No no...I don’t mind it...It’s nice having people talk to me.” You snickered.
“Nobody’s talked to you yet?” The second guy asked. “But your like- the talk of the school right now! Even our senpai’s are interested.”
“Well...,” You replied and looked away with a shrug. “I guess people are just nervous to talk to me...I don’t know why...,” You sighed.
“Probably because your a girl. A-and a pretty one too! So of course they’re gonna be nervous.” Toono said with a smile. And with that, you had made your first two friends. The other one you had soon learned was Kashima. It was great.
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You stood in front of the board for school activities, trying to decide what to do. ‘Most of them are sports...And I don’t want to be in the cooking club. Art club sounds fun but I can’t draw. Music sounds fun but I can’t play.’ You thought as you went down the list. Then you paused. “Photography?” You said softly aloud. ‘Like pictures? I can do that!’ You thought happily and filled out your paper.
“Are you sure...you want...this...club?” The teacher asked as you handed him the paper.
“I mean...it seems nice enough.” You replied. And he just gave you a weird look.
‘I wonder what that was about.’ You thought as you held the piece of paper he gave you in front of yourself. You compared the number on the door to the number in your hands. ‘This must be it...,’ You thought and grabbed the door and slid it open. Your face was still in the paper and you didn’t look up.
“Hello! I’m here for the photography club!” You said happily then looked up from your paper. There were others around your age sitting around a table. Most were half naked and two were kissing. One was completely naked, and Toono and Kashima sat and turned over at you.
“A new member!” The blonde smiled happily and stopped kissing the man under him.
As a response you screamed and slammed the door closed. ‘WHAT THE FUCK!?’ You thought.
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Healed Heart
Final Part of the Shattered Heart Mini-Series
Pairings: Chris Evans x Reader
Warnings: 18+ Minor Smut / Angst / Cheating / Arguing / Mentions of Divorce / Swearing
Word Count: 2.9k
A/N: So here is the final part of my mini-series. I honestly cannot thank you so much for the support on this, it means a lot to me and I love you guys for it!!! Please let me know what you think. I hope you’re happy with the ending because it took me a really long time to decide how I could finish off this story with justice. Thank you again, truly😘
Please reblog and like🖤
Part One: Shattered Heart
Part Two: Troubled Heart
Part Three: Bewildered Heart
♡
Three tortuous days had passed since you had last seen or spoke to Chris, three days since you kicked him out your home. You’d had nightmares about being in a loveless and hateful marriage, steamy dreams about your recent rendezvous and nights where you just felt so alone that you had cried yourself to sleep. It was safe to say that the past three days had been exhausting.
Although fucking Chris in the kitchen during a harrowing argument probably wasn’t the smartest thing you’ve done, it led to some realisations about how you wanted to proceed with your marriage. You definitely didn’t regret anything you said, or did with Chris that day and that was what you found important amongst the disaster. Not regretting your decisions meant that you knew you wanted to move forward in your marriage, and not look backwards; something you would consider a big first step in repairing your marriage. You knew you couldn’t forget what happened and would have to address it before moving forward but you knew you had the desire to push through the hard times.
You’d called Chris that morning and told him that you wanted him to come home, not that he could or should but that you wanted him at home with you. Emotionally, it felt like the right decision, because at the end of the day he was your husband and you missed him. Practically, it is his home as well and it was the only place you could both be to sort out your marriage with privacy. You didn’t want to be surrounded by the media or by prying eyes. Hell, you didn’t even want the opinion of family or friends, this was between you and Chris only.
As you tidied up the house a bit and thought about the moment Chris would walk through the door, it was clear to you that no matter how angry or hurt you were, Chris was your endgame. You had played all the variables over and over in your head loads of times, societal rights and wrongs about cheating when you realised, fuck society. You would never leave your husband over this, and that was okay. This was your story and who cared what anyone else thought, because you didn’t want to give up. You owe it to yourself, to your marriage, to try and fix everything before throwing it away.
For the first few days, Chris slept in the spare room and you danced around each other, trying to find your new normal whilst you navigated the mess that was your marriage.
Once the first week passed, Chris continued to sleep in the spare room and you finally plucked up the courage to address the problem that had been plaguing your marriage for weeks, months if you consider back to when the problem initially started.
The day you decided to bring it up, you had finished work early and Chris was already at home when you arrived back around 3pm.
Walking through the house, you finally found Chris in the home office.
“I thought you were filming today?” Chris looked up at the sound of your voice.
“Oh hi sweetheart. I didn’t hear you come in? Um, yeah I was but, uh.. she turned up to re-film some scenes so I came home.”
You winced at the thought of her and Chris together but was quickly calmed by the effort Chris had made to avoid her.
Clearing your throat, you found the courage to reply.
“Oh, er, did you not have to keep filming?” Leaning against the door frame, you settled in for a longer conversation.
“It wasn’t anything that I can’t just do another day when she isn’t there. I’ve got some scripts to read over anyway so it’s fine.”
You sighed. This seemed like an appropriate time to bring up the unspoken topic so you could start moving forward but your anxiety felt crippling in that very moment, you didn’t know if you could face it.
“Sweetheart..” Chris whispered, “Y/N, sit down, please..”
You moved to sit down on the small sofa by the window, tucking your feet up and under yourself. Chris moved to join you, sitting fairly close but not touching you as you hadn’t crossed that boundary since he came home.
“Look baby, I’ve been home a week now and we’ve just walked around this house like we are two strangers. I need you to talk to me, tell me what you’re thinking because you’re the one that told me you wanted me to come home?”
You looked up from your lap and straight into Chris’s eyes, “You do feel like a stranger to me.”
You heard his voice hitch in his throat, clearly caught off guard by your blunt answer.
“I’m still me, sweetheart. I’m the same person you met seven years ago and I’m the same person you married four years ago. Please don’t think I’ve changed.”
A lone tear falls straight from your eye, as you whimper, “I miss him.”
It takes Chris no longer than a second to pull you into his lap, all boundaries obliterated, as he hugs you like his life depends on it. As you cry all you can hear is Chris repeatedly whispering, ‘I’m here. I’m still me. I love you.’
You shudder at the softened and sweet contact, something you hadn’t felt for weeks but you embraced it, leaning further into Chris’s chest for comfort.
Once you had basked in the feeling for a bit longer, shutting the world and your problems out, you knew you had to move away. It would have been unfair to give Chris mixed signals as your marriage was still clearly on the rocks.
Sitting back up on the sofa, you composed yourself.
“I know you are still you Chris, but you’ve changed to me now. This you..”, you sigh before continuing, “..you’re tainted and untrustworthy, you’re the man that cheated on me, you’re not my husband. I need to get to know you again, and I need to learn to love our marriage again, and learn to trust you again. It’s going to take time.”
“B-but you want to try?”
“Of course I want to try. Endgame right? That hasn’t changed for me but other things have to change, we cannot continue like this otherwise if something else were to happen, I don’t think we would survive it.”
“I am infinitely yours sweetheart. Forever.” You watch Chris smile sweetly.
Feeling slightly more confident and feeling like Chris has really been listening to you, you knew it was time to talk about her.
“Okay, well whilst we are here, I think we should talk about her. It’s the biggest hurdle for me, and I can’t move past it. I just can’t deal with you seeing her right now, not whilst I’m learning to trust you again. I’ll never trust her so I need to 100% be able to trust you again.”
Grabbing hold of your hand, Chris nods in understanding.
“That is completely fine sweetheart. For now, how about I just work my schedule around when she isn’t there and wait until you are comfortable before I finish filming my scenes with her? I don’t care if it postpones the film, or they replace me, you are more important to me than any film and I’ll do whatever it takes to prove it to you!”
You nod feebly, shocked and relieved with the instant commitment Chris was happy to make to save your marriage and earn your trust back.
An awkward silence falls over the room at the monumental conversation you just had. Needing a moment to yourself, you decide to make a quick exit.
‘Um, I think I’ll go and grab a shower before dinner.” Quickly leaving, you rush to your ensuite.
The shower provided a solace to digest what just happened, a few tears falling as you feel overwhelmed. But you left the bathroom with a renewed sense of hope.
It was another week of tough conversations and private marriage counselling before you felt you had reached another milestone in fixing your marriage.
You were in the ensuite of your bedroom when Chris came in to say goodnight. He was merely wearing a pair of pyjamas bottoms that amusingly you were wearing the matching top of.
He chuckled as he leant against the wall, “I was looking for that top.”
You giggled lightly and blushed, using all your self control to not drool over seeing Chris topless. Unfortunately, you had never been good at hiding any of your emotions from Chris and you saw him smirk slightly at your flustered state.
“Okay, well, I just came to say goodnight, so uh- night I guess..”
You mumbled a goodnight back as Chris turned to walk out the room. A rush of affection from the interaction washed over you causing you to shout back towards Chris to catch his attention.
“Um, stay..”
You saw the startled look on his face as the words left your lips.
“Stay with me tonight..”, you repeated as if you were confirming your own words.
“Yeah, course I’ll stay, if that’s what you want?”, he shuffled back towards you.
“It is what I want.”
You smiled at him sweetly before you brushed past him and moved towards the bed, leaving him a bit stunned in the bathroom.
Weeks passed with no problems. You and Chris had gone back to sleeping in the same bed and you often woke up snuggled together. At first, you’d wake and quickly move away from him however, slowly, you became comfortable with it and you were finally starting to feel at peace in his arms.
You had woken up early this specific Monday morning as it was Chris’s first day back filming with her. You felt sick to the stomach at the thought of him seeing her again and had slept terribly. You knew this day would come and thought you would be, at least slightly prepared, but as the day dawned, you were scared. Nerves caged around your heart as your mind could only replay the moment Chris told you that he had kissed another woman.
Chris had to go back to work, you understood that. He had already put it off for a while and sacrificed enough of his job to try and reconcile your marriage. You almost felt obliged to let him go back to work, who were you to hold your husband back from his job?
You were sitting in the kitchen, slowly nursing a very strong coffee when Chris came down, ready for his day. You glanced up at him briefly, barely acknowledging his words to you.
“Y/N? Sweetheart, are you okay? You’re up really early?”
Glancing at the clock reading 7:30am, you shrugged and mumbled, “Woke up at 5:30am.”
You stared in the abyss, thoughts whirring through your mind. Thinking about being frightened to death about the thought that your marriage wasn’t even halfway back to where it should be. Knowing that Chris would see her today, spend all his time with her whilst you were waiting back at home for him. It felt like some sick and twisted de ja vu.
It had been almost two months since you’d last been with Chris in any form of intimacy, almost four months since you were truly a happily married couple and now he was going to see her again, were you really debating that history would repeat itself?
“Baby, will you talk to me? I can see something is on your mind”, Chris gently rests his hand over yours, bringing you out your nightmarish daydream.
Looking up at Chris, taking in all his handsome features, you thought, how could anyone ever resist him. The thought panicked you even more.
Learning from previous mistakes, you knew it was best to communicate to him how you were feeling.
“I’m scared you’re going to see her again today and history could just repeat itself. Nothing is fixed yet Chris, and it feels like we are already going backwards.”
Just when you thought that being honest and communicating with Chris was the best option, it backfired in your face. Chris scoffed, a look of disgust on his face.
“Huh, you’re not kidding?” Watching him run his hand through his hair, he turns away and slams his coffee mug down on the side. You jump at the aggressive action.
“You really think I’d do that again? You really think that little of me? Have you not seen all the work I’ve put into this fucking marriage the past couple of months?”, he shrugs and turns back to you, “What else do you want from me Y/N?”
You wince at his spiteful words.
“I know you’ve put a lot into this marriage Chris, so have I! We’ve been doing really well, but can you really blame me for having doubts on your first day back with her? I thought you’d understand!”
“No, I don’t blame you, but I thought you’d trust me more that this by now.”
You chew on your lip nervously as you both stare at one another, terrified of the silence.
“I’ve got to go to work Y/N, see you later.” You hear Chris huff before he walks straight out the house, leaving you sitting dumbfounded and anxious at your kitchen table.
Trying to do any work from home was useless as you just felt panicked and couldn’t stop thinking about how Chris’s day was going. You hadn’t heard from him since this morning at it was now 6pm.
After developing a painful stress headache, you decide to lay down in bed. Believing you can block the world out and briefly pretend that nothing is wrong in your marriage, you shut your eyes momentarily.
FLASHBACK.
Waking up so softly, you barely blink your eyes open as you feel tender kisses dancing their way up your back, following the line of your spine. You flutter your eyes open carefully, aware of the vibrant sunlight gracing your face as you try to focus your eyes, gradually making out the floor length curtains gently blowing through the breeze from your open balcony doors. You can hear the soft crashes of the waves and can see the soft, baby blue sky from your place on the bed as you stretch out all your limbs from an energetic night. You let yourself surrender to the feeling of Chris’s lips grazing against your bare body.
As he gradually makes his way up to your neck and cheek, you hum in utter happiness and contentment as he places one final kiss on your cheek as he leans over your body. You can feel every line and shape of his naked form as it presses up against you. You think about how you’ve never felt so happy and loved in this moment, knowing that this is exactly how you’ll get to feel for the rest of your life.
“Good morning Mrs. Evans”, Chris roughly whispers, his voice hoarse from minimal sleep. He nibbles on your ear teasingly before grinding his core over your ass. You whimper at the feeling his movements evoke from you.
“Mhm, I like how that sounds”, you mumble before smiling happily. The use of that name giving you butterflies. The one that now belongs to you, the name that now proves you belong to each other forever.
END OF FLASHBACK.
You wake with a start as you hear the front door slam slightly. You sit up too quickly, as you feel light-headed and your vision blurs slightly. You breath deeply, gaining your bearings before looking at the bedside clock. 7:30pm; you had slept right through dinner.
Not that it mattered because you would have been eating alone anyway, you thought.
Your body adjusts to being awake, your stomach fluttering slightly at the memories and feelings that the dream provoked. Momentarily caught in a fever dream.
Back in reality, you brain registers that there was a slam at the door. Quickly, you get up and rush downstairs to see what is happening.
As you halt at the bottom of the stairs and look out into the open plan room, you see Chris standing by the breakfast bar. The very same breakfast bar that holds so many recent heartbreaking conversations. But this time, it doesn’t bring you sadness.
There Chris stands, holding takeout food in one hand and in the other, your favourite donuts. Behind him, on the wall, hangs the framed photo from your wedding day. Your matching smiles beaming on both your faces, almost as if they are lighting up the room.
You look back at him, standing here in your house. Bringing home dinner to you. Coming home to you.
Your breath catches in your throat, “It’s you Chris, it’s always going to be you.”
You watch him place down the food on the side, before he begins striding towards you. Stuck in your spot, you can’t do anything but smile at your husband as he reaches you.
“Forever yours”, you whisper before Chris’s lips crash onto yours for the first time in months. Your lips work together as your hands grip as his waist and his grasp your neck and face so you can’t move away. So you can only feel Chris, so you can truly remember the raw intimacy and passion between you.
As your lips melt together, it feels as monumental as the moment he kissed you as you became his wife. It feels as if your story is beginning again; with a fresh start and a new-found hope for your marriage.
♡
Forever Tags: @itsscottiesstark @patzammit @partypoison00 @cynic-spirit @n3ssm0nique @sohoseb @madbaddic7ed @moonlacebeam @ilovetheeagles @beautifulrose0809 @lovelyladymayyy @tenaciousperfectionunknown @mysticapples17 @whxre4cevans @firoozehmoon @spookyparadisesheep @mytbel0st @thatonelatina @snowy992
[Please drop me a message if you’d like to become part of the taglist for this series or any of my work]
#shattered heart mini series#healed heart#chris evans x reader#chris evans fanfiction#chris evans series#chris evans mini series#chris evans angst#chris evans x you#chris evans smut#rpf
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CHAPTER XXIV: LATE-NIGHT CONFESSION
Beginning | Previous | Next
Transcript under the cut - Click for HQ photos
AUTHOR'S NOTE: Yay, last post of the week! These posts were sort of hard to get through but I'm very much looking forward to next week! Get ready for more flash backs.
All likes, comments and reblogs are greatly appreciated! Thank you for the support 💖
[JEAN] [Whispering] So pathetic
[PHILLIP] May I come in?
[JEAN] Phillip?
[PHILLIP] Unfortunately
[JEAN] Is something wrong, I thought you were . . .
[JEAN] Can you please just let me in? I just want to talk to you
[PHILLIP] You’re not sober, are you?
[PHILLIP] [Tearfully] I’m so sorry I broke my promise but, please, you have to let me in right now
[JEAN] [THINKING] Oh, God
[PHILLIP] . . . And I was just straight-up lying to this kid, you know? Oh, I’ll always be there for you, when five seconds prior I just wanted to lie down and die. It’s bullshit, man
[JEAN] Are you still feeling how you felt before with . . . You know what I mean . . .
[PHILLIP] I dunno, fucking maybe. That’s not really a question I can answer. There are some moments in my life when the answer is yes, absolutely, but sometimes it’s no, and sometimes it’s like, like, that age-old question stuck on repeat in my mind: to be or not to be. That’s the question, isn’t it?
[JEAN] Phillip, you are making no sense right now. Half-an-hour ago you were half-sobbing incoherently about your son coming out and suicide. Now you’re quoting Macbeth
[PHILLIP] That was Hamlet, actually
[JEAN] So, I failed Honours English, that’s not the point, I’m just trying to . . . I don’t know why you’re here. I don’t really know how . . . to help you fix these things—
[PHILLIP] That’s exactly the thing, Jean, you can’t help me. I’ve been struggling with this for most of my life. It’s just the way I am. I’m really just here for one reason
[PHILLIP] I think that I’m lonely. I thought that this was impossible, but the more that I think about it, the more that it feels as if I’ve been lonely for a long, long time and I’ve just convinced myself otherwise because I’ve been betrayed and hurt so often that it was easier for me to, I don’t know, distance myself. Yet, you . . . I like talking to you, I get excited when I think about talking with you and you’ve made me realize how I’ve been missing those basic feelings for the longest time
[PHILLIP] Can I stay here? Just for tonight? We don’t have to do anything just . . . please
[JEAN] Yes, but only with the condition that you let me take you to the hospital tomorrow morning. If this is you using I don’t even want to know what withdrawal will do to you
[PHILLIP] Fair enough
[JEAN] Don’t look so embarrassed. I’ve been lonely, too, you’re not alone
[JEAN] Get some rest, you’ll be alright
[PHILLIP] The same goes for you. You have a shitty poker face. Do not torment yourself over me, Jean, I mean that
#warwick.story#chapter two point five#arc: happiness over everything#ts4 royal family#ts4 royalty#ts4 royal legacy#ts4 royal simblr#the sims 4 royalty#the sims 4 royal family#the sims 4 monarchy#the sims 4 royal simblr#ts4 monarchy#the sims 4 royal#the sims 4 royal legacy#ts4 storytelling#ts4 story#the sims 4 storytelling#the sims 4 story#ts4 legacy#the sims 4 legacy#ts4 edit#the sims 4 edit#ts4 screenshots#the sims 4 screenshots#ch: jean#ch: phillip#✨
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I-I very much enjoyed your fic with the S/O having a mean & horrible ex. I-I was wondering if you could do one with Law, Shanks and Crocodile?? (It’s cause I too had a very horrible ex and it was very comforting to read your lovely fics) thank you so much and I hope you stay safe and have a lovely day 🥺💖💖💖💖💖
Law, Shanks + Crocodile And A S/O With A Mean Ex
A/N : I’m sorry this took a while, I really hope you all are okay, with having to experience and deal with exes like that :/
note : mentions of abuse / harsh words / names
no mention of specificity so I varied scenes.
Summary : these boys reacting to your mean ex coming by and talking to you.
Zoro, Mihawk, Ace » Here!
-
Law
Law is harsh. He is sadistic. He is angry. But yet, he remains calm. Though, he is quite the provoking type. He’s almost a Yandere.
It starts off on just coming onto an island in hopes to pick up some supplies. As much as the others focus, Penguin and Shachi are easy to get distracted and immediately made friends with a particular someone, while you were out with Law.
Once the crew regrouped at the coast, you and Law find Shachi and Penguin laughing with an unfamiliar person and your eyes widen at the sight.
“[ Ex Name ]?”
Almost immediately, laughter ceased and your ex turn to you with wide eyes before a sneer was seen, shocking everyone else once again.
“[Name]? What the hell are you doing here?” Your ex scoffs as they roll their eyes. “Everywhere I go, it seems it always links back to you, I swear.”
Your brows furrowed as you unintentionally took a step back, Law quickly noticing the said action as he narrows his eyes at the person.
“Who are you? What business do you have with [Name]-ya?”
“What business? Who the fuck are you?” Your ex then snaps in realization. “Ah, you must be the surgeon of death, captain of the Heart Pirates.” They began to cackle.
“Doctor? You went for a doctor after me?” They continue to laugh, you just gulping as they continue to take step by step closer to you.
Unknown to the group, Law was creating a giant room and his sword was ready to slice your ex apart.
“It makes sense you’d go for a doctor. Maybe he could find what the hell is wrong with your brain for even thinking about leaving me, you little—!”
Shutting your eyes and bracing for another physical attack from your ex, you widen them when you hear Law’s voice.
“That’s enough.”
SLASH!
“You really have the nerve to come to my crew, to walk towards my significant other, and dare attempt to hit them?”
Swinging his sword to rest on his shoulder, his eyes darken dangerously and a cocky smirk was found on his lips, nearly sending chills down everyone’s spine as they stare at your ex that was cut into two.
“What were you saying about them dating a doctor? Oh, that’s right. ‘To fix something in their brain’ was it? It was actually to allow me to heal any disgusting injuries that you both mentally and physically caused [Name]-ya.” Law corrects, pulling down his sword to cut a few more pieces from your ex.
Speaking of which, your ex didn’t say a word, mostly internally panicking at the sight of his limbs apart from each other, since he was witnessing first hand, the Surgeon of Death’s skills.
“Where is that arrogant attitude just now? What happened?” Law hums, tilting his head to the side before he continued to cut them piece by piece.
“Law.. let’s go..”
Law stands up hearing you and with a piercing glare, he sheathes his sword and stepped onto one of your ex’s hands, eliciting a whimper from them.
“Next time, I’ll break off your arms to make sure you can never even attempt to hurt [Name]-ya.”
With that, he began heading back to the submarine, guiding you along with him as the crew silently followed, the room disappearing and left your ex alone, all cut up.
And though you were in public, in front of the crew, Law willingly brought you closer to him. His movement gentle with you. Only for you, was he soft.
-
Shanks
Though Shanks’ looks are quite calm about all of this, his eyes say otherwise.
It would be when you are sailing around the New World, heading out to the Grand Line to meet with Mihawk with Shanks.
However, along the way, it seems something had occurred. A lone sailer, drifting across the water on a small boat passed out.
The kind gentleman he was, Shanks told the crew to pull him up and treat them. You almost didn’t recognize who it was, until they actually confronted you, and it seems someone still held anger within themselves.
“[Name]?”
You’d be shocked for sure, unable to say a word, just speechless that the person Shanks saved, turned out to be your ex that you left after they verbally abused you.
“Why the hell are you on Red Haired’s ship?... you don’t belong here..not on the famous, notorious one armed Emperor.” They were clutching their arm and had bandages all around them.
“I..” Before you could say anything, your ex continued to talk, unknown to the red-haired pirate Captain coming out himself.
“Even when we were dating, you always stood out. Not in the good way. You kept making trouble for me and everyone else, and just never belonged anywhere with anyone. I’m almost embarrassed I dated you.”
You simply look away, ignoring whatever he had to say, missing Shanks silent steps forward.
“You’re just an accident waiting to happen. Oh wait.. it already did.”
Before your ex could continue further, Shanks was already looming over them on the ground, the sharpest glare his eyes could muster. He didn’t even have to use haki to instantly intimidate your ex. You could tell from the fearful and shocked look across their face.
“My apologies, sir/Ma’am. I don’t think I heard you right. Could you repeat that for me?” His one arm would be gripping the hilt of his sword casually.
His face plastered the forceful and harshest grin you’ve ever seen.
“I know you couldn’t have insulted my beloved so casually like that, so I must kindly ask you to repeat your words once more. My dear [Name] is an angel and if you really have the guts to say further unnecessary things to my lover.. well.”
He began to unsheathe his sword and a smirk came over his lips.
“I can make you a nonfamous, one-armed asshole.”
Fully unsheathed, Shanks casually held out his sword, now crouching down to their level. “Would you like that?”
Hyperventilating at the thought of being cut by one of the Emperors, your ex simply screamed and ran over to the railing of the ship, before jumping off for his life.
You were just shocked, not quite sure of what to say or think but Shanks quickly snapped you out of it, his sword now sheathed and hand gently caressing yours.
“Hey, Angel. Let’s continue sailing and once we greet Mihawk, let’s have a party and relax. Okay?”
-
Crocodile
Crocodile is condescending.
He’d just sneer and scoff at your ex.
It’d be when you two are away for a bit, along with Mr. 1, Daz Bones. After Crocodile’s title as Warlord has been revoked.
You two were just together, Crocodile walking with you around the area and occasionally looking at a couple things through the display window, and if you looked at something a little too long, he’d immediately buy it for you, plus more, despite your attempts to stop him.
Now, this time, Crocodile and Daz had to discuss a certain topic that he didn’t want you to overhear, so he gave you some money and told you to wander around and buy yourself some things.
Not wanting to disrupt their important meeting, you agreed, and so you were simply just walking around the town on your own.
Unfortunately, had to bump into someone along the way. Literally.
About to fall on your ass, a hand caught yours immediately. “Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t see you! Are you okay?-“
Almost immediately, once the person recognized your face, they let go and caused you to fall anyways.
“[Name]?!” Clear confusion ran across their face as they immediately jumped back at the shock. “Why are you here?”
You barely heard them, feeling pain on your tailbone from the rough fall as you slowly stood up. “I’m here.. for none of your business..”
Coughing slightly, your ex scrunches up their face before rolling their eyes. “I can’t believe I almost saved you. Get out of my sight, [Name]. This town isn’t big enough for the both of us.”
“Why don’t you leave instead?”
Crocodile, making his way over with Daz behind him, stares down at your ex like he was inferior. Nothing more than a pest.
His cigar between his teeth and his giant coat hanging around his shoulders, which he took off and carefully placed around you once he was beside you.
“Tch. An ex-warlord? Pathetic. I can’t believe you’re actually going out with a man like him.” Your ex comments rudely, making Crocodile smirk a bit in amusement, walking towards your ex and gripping his throat with his large hand.
“A man like me, you say? Someone who is strong enough to even become a warlord. Someone with money and power that can easily take you down within seconds?”
Slowly, your ex began to lose all liquid in their body and was becoming wrinkly, due to Crocodile’s sand.
His smirk then drops to one unimpressed as he squeezed harder, until there was nothing left.
“You are undeserving to even be in my nor [Name]’s presence. Get lost, you pathetic waste of space.”
With that, Crocodile dropped your ex’s lifeless corpse and turned to you, with a soft expression. “Let’s go, darling. We’ll find you some new clothing.”
Hand pressed against the dip of your back, he gently guided you away from the scene and let Daz take care of your ex’s body.
-
Sorry for the delay, anon. I sincerely hope this was okay!
#tooweirdforyou#one piece#one piece x reader#op x reader#x reader#op#sir crocodile x reader#sir crocodile#one piece crocodile#crocodile x reader#red haired shanks#akagami no shanks#shanks x reader#one piece shanks#trafalgar d. water law x reader#trafalgar d. water law#trafalgar law x reader#trafalgar law#law x reader
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Seesaw (I)
Genre: Mature/Smut, Strangers to Lovers, Neighbors with benefits/Fuck buddies, Producer! Min Yoongi, Fuck girl! OC Y/N, Neighbors AU (a Spin-Off to “Moving On”)
Warning: NSFW! alot of kissing (torrid, soft, neck, and down under😉), protected sex (you can never go wrong with a rubber on, kids!), oral sex, mentions of alcohol, mentions of nipple pierce (pls don’t kill me 😣), mentions of cheating, appears to be pwp but i swear there’s a plot in this..so bear with me please😖, elevator buddies (lol. thanks ggukieland for mentioning this) to eventual lovers. I’m ending this in good terms 😌
Synposis: His outfits are always in black, and if not black then it must be in dark muted tones. You pressed the button on the elevator floor, and positioned yourself at the edge. You watched his back from a distance, and turned away if he moved his head. You were always the one who start your small conversation with him: From “good day” to “good night” to “that’s interesting (whatever it is you find ‘interesting’ from him, even though you were interested in him more than the item)” and other things. You and your little crush to your neighbor who lived on the 18th floor.
Until one rainy night, all drenched and cold, and your eyes smudged all over with kohl, you found him waiting for you inside the elevator. His body slacked on the edge, hair unkempt, his jacket barely settled on his shoulder while holding on to an empty bottle of scotch.
“Rough night?” he asked while you moved to the other side of the lift, pressing the button from the elevator immediately closing its door.
“Yeah, seems you had one too?” you watched him attempt to position himself upright in amusement.
He drank from the empty bottle before he replied and realized straightaway that it’s been drained.
An idea came up to you suddenly and you asked: “I have more of that in my place. Wanna come over?”
A/N: Yoongi have been tormenting me of his visual for weeks and I just have to. Also I owe Producer!Min Yoongi to be happy. :( I hope you’ll enjoy “Seesaw” as much I enjoyed writing it. I decided to make it a mini-series because ideas are just piling up for the two.
And yep, mood song is “Seesaw” by Suga 💖
Word count: 7,190k
“Good morning” you said upon entering the elevator. You walked past him and placed your back on the steel wall for support.
“Good morning” he replied, eyes blinking.
You opened your insulated tumbler to drink your freshly brewed hot coffee you made before leaving your apartment, when you noticed something particularly interesting from the lone stranger you’re with inside the lift. “Nice bean hat” you complimented.
“It’s a gift from my friend” he looks up at the elevator screen, monitoring what floor you two are currently in before it hits the ground floor. “That coffee smells nice, Ethiopian beans?” he turned his head a little to your direction, but wasn’t trying to look back at you particularly.
“No, Tanzania Peaberry” you took a sip and levelled your eyes to the decreasing number before the elevator digital screen until it hit ‘Lobby’. “Well, have a good day!” you smiled at him as you walked past his side. Yoongi let you leave first, like a true gentleman that he is.
It was always the same dry and small conversation. Always the same feeling whenever he is around. Your little crush on the man living on the 18th floor.
——
It started about two months ago when he was running towards the closing elevator, asking for you to wait for him before you could push the close button on the lift. Normally you would mind, and would even subtly push the button hard (about once or twice) so the lift would close quickly before the other person could even enter.
But not this guy, no. The way his eyes looked at you for a second, there was something behind it, something you couldn’t pinpoint exactly. When he reaches out for the door, you knew from that moment on, it was already over. He finally came in and pushed the ‘close button’ before you.
You were charmed.
“Thank you” he panted, as he tried to catch his breath from running and crouched down on his knees right when the elevator door closed. He was wearing a black oversized hoodie and dark blue fitted jeans and black canvas shoes, but were all dripping wet.
“Didn’t expect the rain too” You pulled out your gym towel from your bag. The one you didn’t get to use because, Matt, the cute guy your friend introduced to you during her wedding day, suddenly sent you a message asking if you had any plans for this afternoon.
Naturally, you cancelled your ‘gym day’ to trade it for one steamy workout session with him inside his car. Which leaves you now with your gym outfit and other stuff perfectly unused, including your towel.
“Here” you handed it over to him, feeling sorry for the situation he was in. Wet and dirty from running outside the street. He turned to you, confused, unsure whether to accept the towel you were offering or not. “Oh don’t worry, that’s a new one. I didn’t get to the gym today so it’s not used, like at all…” you smiled.
“Thanks” he bowed a bit and gently wiped his neck and face as he pushed the 18th floor button. He shook his raven short hair a little to his side and tapped it with the towel, hoping to reduce the water trickling from the ends of his straight hair.
You pushed 17th.
“New here?” you asked.
“Yeah, I just moved two weeks ago” he gently wiped each side of his cheek for warmth.
“Has anyone ever welcomed you here?” you took a quick glance at him and furrowed your eyebrows then retracted “Well, besides the management and the security guard?” you snickered, eyes still fixed at the elevator buttons and its screen.
He chuckled at your query “No, unfortunately.”
“Bummer. Well, let that towel be the ‘first welcome gift’ then. From a neighbor” You shrugged then turned to face him and smiled.
The elevator bell rang, ‘17th floor’. You put your feet forward near the elevator door, arguing in your head whether you should ask his name or not. Usually, you don’t ask strangers for their name, especially the ones you just met. You barely knew anyone in this building, except your next-door neighbor who frequently complained about the noises you make at night.
And It’s not like he owes you anything either, so you didn’t expect that he’ll do it so casually… and yet here you are, hoping.
At least, maybe he could ask you a thing or two about you and say ‘thanks’ one more time? That’s just wishful thinking though. You suddenly remember that you did mention the towel was a gift, despite not bothering to ask if he wants it or not.
You began to worry even more, and wanted to ask if he really wants to even keep it. So, you turned around to meet him the eye and “Ah w—”
“Thank you, neighbor” he smiled and held the towel to his ear. The elevator door closes before you, stunned to see him smile. Yes, that damn smile. The kind where you forget where you live for a second, and you just nod. Leaving him behind.
“What’s your name?” you asked no one, and sighed. “Whatever… you’re welcome, neighbor” you turned away from the closed door in frustration and walked along the hallway.
——
Boys are like games. You liked it when they made you scheme so that they could find you interesting, and then trap them once they took the bait. And leave when it becomes dull.
Every so often, you try to lure in guys that interest you so that you could spend about a week or two with them, to fill in the gaps of your own boredom. You despised monotony, the way you hated commitments.
Though you were not always like this before, you once believed in ‘true love’ and ‘fairytales’, until you’ve had your heart broken a few times (mostly due to one-sided love) and then that was it. You’ve had enough. Back then, you were still young and naïve, thinking men will come and save you from this cruel world. You’ve seen it in movies, tv dramas and heard countless songs play about it on the radio, you were hopeful.
Yet no one came to save you, not even one. You came to realize that only you could save yourself from making your life any more tragic. Men are never the key to happiness. Love is not the formula in living a good life.
You looked at your own reflection and marveled at the beauty you created for yourself. And that was the thing, you saved yourself way too perfectly that you just don’t believe in love anymore. And out of nowhere, men were starting to line up.
Not like the teen romance kind of stuff, where they literally line up for you because you started to look like Gal Gadot overnight. More like, you don’t seem to care whether you get asked out or not, either way, men like you because you are a challenge. And who doesn’t like a challenge?
Because men are dying to see one day, that all the walls you’ve built for yourself would fall for them. They wanted to see a damsel in distress behind that wall.
Because men always like their ego stroke, and they always want to have the bigger prize. Unfortunately for everybody, it’s not Princess Peach who they want to save on top of a tower, they just want the game. That’s it, they want to see whether you’d fall for them or not. Nothing more, nothing less. That’s why you never let it. You refused to get too personal and you renounced commitments. You’re too proud.
Because for you, commitments are the epitome of prison. For you, commitments are just a disguise for convenience. In the same manner, convenience is a sugar-coated word for validation, caramelized to perfection.
And for whose validation? For men? Maybe then, they could make you do their laundry, cook them food, satisfy their lustful desires? Are those really an act of love or selfish desire to make their lives easy? Clearly, your choice to keep yourself free from commitments isn’t an act of rebellion against sexims and double standards. It’s actually letting yourself be free from nuisance, which is what they call “love”.
That is why you remain in your stance, that you want men for your own pleasure. Nothing more, nothing less. That you want to see them admire you, kneel if they must, before you. Cry desperately for your touch. Because you’re not giving any, not until a man who thinks the same way as you do, the ones who are smart enough to knock on your door and present to you his pure intentions.
Evidently, that’s impossible, with the way men are in this god-forsaken city? The closest thing you could ever meet to a perfect man is the cardboard stand of Park Seojun, smiling at the entrance of a restaurant beside you right now.
You pat the fabric from your dress, after looking at your reflection from the glass window. Joe, your officemate, from the Design Department, finally asked you out for a ‘little dinner nearby’.
“Y/N, you sure you want to eat here? We can go to some place fancier” he asked while he folded his long sleeves.
“Two seats please” you ignored his query as you grinned over the lady who took on the customer cue. She rolled her eyes upon seeing you again with another man.
Joe went to you close and whispered “Do you have any beef with the lady?”.
“Nah, we’re good. It’s her term of endearment for saying ‘welcoming back’. I’m a regular customer here” you winked at her “so I’m sure she’s delighted to see me every time” she groaned in annoyance and let you in. She remained polite by guiding you both to an empty table.
——
Obviously that’s a lie, because next thing you knew, you were already making out with Joe inside his car, barely reaching his apartment.
“Mmm” you shifted to his seat, knees in between his legs, as he unzips your dress on your back. You helped him pull the fabric down from your shoulder, exposing your lacy lingerie, exclusive for this occasion.
“Can’t you wait until we get into my place?” he parted, panting, leaving him breathless after that torrid kiss.
“I just wanted to give you a little preview with what I can do” you smirked, as you began to kiss his ears and traced it down his neck. “Will get there, don’t worry” you gently bit his ear lobe which made him groan in pleasure. Until, someone came knocking on his window. Joe moved from his seat to see who it was.
“Lara!” he immediately stopped and pushed you away.
“Lara?” you turned to face where he was looking, and to your horror, you saw Lara. Lara, your officemate and your best friend. Lara, who perfectly knew your history and the list of men you slept with. Lara, who stood by you even after office hours and saved your ass multiple times from your mercurial boss.
You didn’t have any slightest clue she was seeing this Joe from the Design department, yet you feel like you’ve done something terribly wrong.
You quickly pulled your clothes up, while Joe immediately left you in the car to talk to Lara.
“I can explain,” he pleaded, shutting the car door hard.
“I don’t need it” Lara shook her head and took a step back.
You pulled down the headboard mirror to fix your hair and lipstick for a moment and let the two do the talking first. You listened to them argue, rather faintly from the inside of his car while you tried to put on your heels.
After you gently pat your lips with your finger, you finally decided to leave the car and went to Lara so you could take on her side and put more misery over Joe, the canker cheater. Besides, isn’t it Joe’s fault that you are all in this muddling position?
“I always knew I shouldn’t be friends with a slut like you!” she spat a disgusted look on you.
Your mouth went agape, bewildered at her reaction “Excuse me? I didn’t know Joe’s seeing you”. You were expecting that above all, she would understand the current situation, that it was Joe and not you who started out all this mess. Why does it feel like you’ve put gas in to the fire? When the one who deserves all these words is Joe.
“So, is it my fault now? That I didn’t tell you I’m seeing Joe?!” she scoffed and folded her arms. Now she’s starting to piss you off too.
“Because I don’t know Lara? We’re best friends? We’re not supposed to hide secrets?” you gave her a sardonic smile, which peeved her even more.
“Of course I should, the way you sleep with everyone’s boyfriend without being sorry? I definitely think I should” she bit at you, barely quivering from the words she chose against you. You must admit, that definitely hurt. Not the words she chose, not the way she barely quivered, but because it came out from someone you trust.
Lara, was the least person you thought who could inflict a burn to your already-distorted ego.
You sighed, forestalling the tears that were slowly looming around your eyes “Right, well at least I learned something about you tonight. Have a great night with Joe, I hope you two sort out things…” you pulled your bag from your shoulder and walked away but then you remember something.
You wanted to slap Joe in the face so bad right now, that the only thing that’s stopping you is the idea of an eventual ‘Physical Harm Outside Office’ complaint against you from the HR Department, well if you were careless enough to actually do it.
“There’s a thong hidden underneath your seat, which isn’t mine by the way. I only wear Kiki De Montparnasse, don’t I Lara? Well, those are Victoria’s. You know I dislike Victoria’s ” you declared, before leaving, not turning your head to face them one last time.
“We’re over Joe!” Lara screeched, as Joe pleaded even more, their voices turning inaudible as you moved farther away.
Of course, that was a lie. There were no thongs left inside Joe’s car. Just the friendship you lost with Lara. And you wanted to retaliate hard, to put everything on equal footing. Except, it didn’t feel that way, because Joe took something away from you forever: Trust.
——
Someone knocked from Yoongi’s studio. “Excuse me sir, but Mr. Park and his fiancé are waiting for you at the lounge area?” one of the staff asked, sticking her head out from the door.
“Right, tell them I’ll be there in sec!” he pushed a few buttons on his keyboard and then left his seat to meet his visitors.
“Hyung!” Jimin stood up from his seat to meet him, together with his fiancé… Yoongi’s ex-girlfriend.
“Hey there kid!” Yoongi went to give Jimin a brief hug, and gestured to them to return to their seats. “Hey there” he nodded and smiled weakly to his ex, not that he’s sour or hostile towards her, but he was just in a tight position seeing the two of them together in one room.
“Hyung, I’ve been really meaning to ask you, but I know it’s pretty awkward considering the two of you well, you were once, you know” he scratched the back of his neck, trying to find proper words but decided to continue anyway “together… and I know this is sudden too, but we reserved a seat for you on our wedding day tomorrow, and hopefully as one of my groomsmen…”
Be there on their wedding day? Tomorrow? As one of his groomsmen? Is this a joke? He was baffled for a moment, but his face remained stoic. “I can’t. I’m sorry…” he nodded coolly.
Yoongi saw how she quickly held on to Jimin’s hand tight, to give Jimin comfort from the rejection they expected from him.
“We understand” Jimin breathed and faced the ground.
“It’s not like that” Yoongi lied. “You know that contract I just had for a soft drink commercial? Well apparently they wanted a full revision on the song, so I just had to finish it before the weekends”
“Oh” Jimin smiled shyly “that’s unfortunate…”
Yoongi turned to face his ex, who knew him fluently. He gulped and smiled weakly, hoping the message would come across to ‘Not tell Jimin’. She nodded, fully understanding what Yoongi had in mind.
He wanted to save everybody (especially her family who knew him for years, and their common friends who’ll come by) to see an uncomfortable scene on their special occasion: An ex on a wedding day.
Hours passed, and Yoongi politely offered to see them leave the office building while bidding them good luck for tomorrow.
“Excuse me, I just need to get this” Jimin took his phone to his ears and left them to receive the call from his manager. “Yeah, they’re there? All areas secured? Yeah, thank you. Hopefully, we can avoid paparazzi and obsessive fans at the wedding venue tomorrow…” Yoongi heard him say, his voice turning faint as he walked far.
“Yoongi” she quickly but subtly held his hand “Just say it…” she shut her eyes and pleaded him.
Yoongi knew what she meant, and even if he still feels something for her, he had to do it. “Don’t do this… I know it’s probably just wedding jitters, and maybe we really haven’t had a proper closure when we broke up, but Jimin is a good guy. He’s better. Please, be with him” he said softly, resisting to meet her eyes.
“I’m so sorry for leaving you that night, I should have stuck out to you then, and understand you, I really lo—“ she started to talk fast, while her eyes glistened.
“Stop” Yoongi, moved back, pulling his own hand away from her. “You made the right decision, and I also made mine. Everything falls perfectly, where it should be” Yoongi bit his lip, maddened to hear her regret. For what? What good does it make to agree with her and run? To destroy a relationship right before their wedding day? He’s not dumb to take the bait.
After years of being left behind, years of putting him in the dark after she left, years of hoping that the two of them can get back together. Only to find later, by chance, that she was already dating his colleague, Jimin. “Stop!” he repeated, taking another step away from her.
Jimin ran back to her side, clueless of what just happened between her and Yoongi. “I’m sleepy, love” she yawned, trying to mask her teary eyes that started when she pleaded Yoongi to take her back.
Yoongi nodded “I’m sure you two are tired from all the planning. I really appreciate you two for visiting. Take care! I need to get back to the studio, client’s calling too!`` He quickly turned away and left, digging his hand in his pockets to hide his shaking palms. The thought of almost agreeing to take her back, right on the night before their wedding, sends shivers down his spine.
He needed a drink.
——
You fumbled on your wallet and realized that you left your transportation card on the office desk. Honestly, you thought you wouldn’t need it when Joe offered to drive you home. “Please, at least a change, at least a change…” you mumbled it like a mantra, praying something helpful would appear, but didn’t.
Even when you dug deeper in your bag, there was no spare change in sight, only your credit card. You didn’t expect the night to turn out so bad. Even worse, it was starting to rain. It didn’t have an umbrella either.
You paused in the middle of the street to cry, not being able to comprehend the series of unfortunate events. You watched the rain flushed down your makeup from a convex mirror hanging on a pole. Your eyes were starting to look like raccoons. Your favorite dress is already drenched and filthy from street dust and smoke. Yet you remained walking, hoping that if you continued to raise your hand every so often, a taxi would come by and let you in.
But even after an hour, no one bothered to let a rain-drenched woman into their dry and pristine car. Until it took you long enough to arrive at your apartment lobby, and you sighed in relief. You shook your head when the security wanted to ask what happened, and declined when the service staff offered you a seat to wait on the couch and bring you a towel. You just wanted to get to your home quickly.
And there he was, inside the elevator, your little crush who lives on the 18th floor.
You saw him drink the last drop from his bottle before he pressed a button, when his eyes widened upon seeing you in a poor state. You walked towards him.
In an attempt to look sober in front of a stranger, Yoongi fixed his posture and quickly pressed the ‘open door button’ and waited for you inside.
“Rough night?” he asked while you moved to the other side of the lift and watched you press the ‘close button’ from the elevator, immediately closing its door. His body fell almost instantly on the slight movement of the lift that shifted towards the upper floors. His body slacked on the edge, hair unkempt, and his dark denim jacket barely settled on his shoulder while he held onto his empty bottle of scotch.
“Yeah, seems you had one too?” you watched his attempt to reposition himself again upright, in amusement.
He drank from the empty bottle before he could reply and realized straightaway that it’s been drained.
“I uh” he gulped “I met my ex a while ago, and she pleaded with me to take her back right before her wedding day” he drunkenly confessed, and giggled to hear himself say it.
“That’s rough buddy…” you folded your arms and watched the elevator screen, as usual.
“What’s your sob story?” he asked, blinking as he tried to mask his insobriety.
“Oh this?” you momentarily look at your drenched clothes. “Well I found out the guy I was out with, ‘double-dipping’ me and my best friend”
“That’s even tougher” he chuckled as he peered on to his empty bottle, wishing that a drop would magically appear out of nowhere.
“I think we’re even” you watched him silently, trying hard not to laugh to see him in his drunken state, until an idea suddenly came up. You asked: “I have more of that in my place. Wanna come over?”
——
The moment you two stepped out of the elevator, you found your bodies pressed together.
Lips knotted on each other, wet and tacky. You moved back while he pressed you forward along the hallway. He then moved to force you up against a wall, pressing himself to you even harder.
Yoongi didn’t waste a minute and pushed his tongue in between your lips, and you reciprocated. You roughly brushed your hand towards his hair, and pulled him even closer to you and deepened your kiss. Whatever it is you two were doing.
He parted and pressed kisses on your throat, his fingers reaching down to your waist and clutched your bottoms.
It was so sudden, so fluid, that you almost forgot that you were still outside from your place.
“Oh, bless you two!” your 60 year old next-door neighbor cried, who just went out of her door. Fidgeting while she tried to close it and ran towards the empty elevator.
“I’m definitely going to receive a house complaint from the management tomorrow” you chuckled. You parted for a moment, and stopped by your apartment door. You quickly entered your password on your lock screen, while he continued to press kisses on your neck. You didn’t mind if he saw it, since you were pretty sure he’s too intoxicated to remember every number.
Upon entering your door, he quickly discarded his jacket and left it on the floor, he kicked the door close. You didn’t dare break the proximity between you and him, even if it bears as a challenge to move back while taking off your shoes from the threshold, and still manage to wrestle with his tongue.
He cut the kiss briefly to remove his own shoes, but quickly as a fox. Like a clockwork, he continued where he left, back to hungrily pursuing your lips. You parted and watched your lower lip leave gradually from his soft bite. You smiled at him and began to trace kisses on his neck.
He closed his eyes and revelled from your touch. He then carried you over to your bare dinner table and hurriedly pulled your dress up, exposing your lacy underwear, while you helped him pull his shirt off exposing his pale chest. You pinched your lip, stared at him for a moment, all pleased to see him bare.
“What?” he nervously asked.
“Just thinking how I’ve always fancied seeing my neighbor naked come to a reality” you tilt your head, while your eyes remain focused on his chest.
“What a coincidence, I was thinking the same” he finally realized that you had a zipper on the back and pulled it down a bit.
“Careful, this one’s from Lanvin” you alerted him. He obediently followed and carefully pulled it down your waist. You gently pushed it away and threw it on the carpet.
“Wouldn’t it be cool if you had your dress in Versace?” you laughed at his remark.
“Oh, so you could sing that Bruno Mars song? Kinky”
He chuckled at your retort. You then realized how charming he looks up close, his gums flashed before you as he grinned.
“Uhuh…” and just like that he swiftly changed from cute charming to a seductive one, as he shifted his position and watched you react to his finger pressed beneath your cloth that was keeping a barrier between your skin down below and his fingertips. “You’re wet”
You breathed at the sensation and nodded “You know for a neighbor, you are pretty friendly. Yet I never get to know your name” you whispered in his ears and unbuckled his belt. You help him pull down his pants from your seat.
He smiled, seeing you fairly repay his effort by finding your hands gently brushing his length beneath the fabric of his underwear.
“Yoongi” he replied, a bit groaning. You felt his flaccid length grow stiff at your touch.
You turn to look at it, then his eyes “Y/N” you smiled as you pulled it down and began stroking it bare. Nice and slow.
“Nice to meet you… God… that’s it” he shut his eyes and breathed, as he unclasped your bra and began cupping your breasts.
“Nice to meet you too Yoongi…” he opened his eyes, his right hand shifted to lick his fingertip and stick it between your lacy fabric down to your nub, brushing it quickly yet soft.
“That’s… yes…” you shut your eyes at the sudden contact. You were sensitive. “You know we are 3 steps away from my bedroom, why don’t we continue from there?” you gave him a peck on his lips and pulled his hand away from you. You jumped out from the table and waited for him to follow you to your bedroom door.
He just stood for a while and watched you slip your panty down, he gulped at the sight and immediately followed.
——
“Yoongi!” your toes curled, as he pulled you even closer to him. You heard him growl a little underneath you. His hands under your butt cheeks, caressing it gently while he sticks his tongue out for a taste. Seeing stars was underrated, if you must describe how wonderful his tongue techniques were when you are receiving him.
“Yeah, that’s pretty” He parted and licked what’s left of you on his lip while watching you shiver beneath him, slowly coming undone. You lost count how much you orgasm with his tongue alone. He then pushed two fingers in you and slowly stroked it in and out, and watched you unfold for the nth time to his touch.
God, you almost forgot that he’s been pleasing you for almost an hour that you forgot to return the favor. “Yoongi, stop… lie down” you gently pushed him to the side, letting him relax on his back, and began rubbing his length.
“Y/N, it’s okay. I want in” he stopped you before your mouth received him.
“Right now? You sure?” you asked, as he chuckled at the query.
“I’m fully erect, Y/N. What’s there to be unsure of? Lie down…” he commanded, and you gladly obliged.
“The condom is on the bed side table, first drawer on the left.” You pointed. He opened the drawer, and found one. He gently opened the golden foil as you helped him pull the rubber out and placed it on him.
He moaned to the cool sensation “Mmm…” he placed both your ankles on each side of his shoulder as he slowly moved inside of you.
You shut your eyes and opened your mouth wide, surprised to feel something fairly sizable and immense. He rests for a second, letting you adjust to him.
“You okay?” he asked worriedly.
“I’m tough, and I like it rough” you panted.
He chuckled momentarily, but his face turned earnest when he began to thrust inside of you slowly. From a steady placid pace, it gradually accelerated, penetrating deeper into you as he moved further. He wasn’t just hitting your sweet spot, he was unearthing everything within you. To say you’re pleased is an understatement, he definitely did more than that. “God!” he started to move fast to an inconsistent pace and finally came.
You followed.
He pulled out, and rested on your chest.
You gulped and found your throat dry from all that just happened “Want something to drink?” you sat on your side of the bed.
“No more scotch, just water. Know what? Fuck it” he pulled you back to the bed. Swiftly changed his soiled rubber to a new one. He took another condom from your bed side table and immediately entered back into you.
Turns out, the night ended unexpectedly great.
——
🎵 Love me special… love me special… love me special🎵
Your alarm resonated all over your apartment. “Alexa, stop” you commanded, as you shift from your bed and was surprised to see a motionless body you don’t recognize on the other side of your bed.
You slapped your forehead upon realizing who it was on the other end. Your little neighbor crush, now with a name: Yoongi. The song continued to play, stirring the stranger from his sleep “Nngh” he lazily scratched his neck in annoyance.
“Alexa, stop the alarm!” you exclaimed, blinking at the thought of rousing him further from his slumber. You didn’t want the idea of little chit-chats on the morning after sex. You disliked being demanded to answer questions like “how did I get here?” or “was sex good?”and etc., conversation like those are a total drag.
Regardless who it was, whether it was one night stand or a regular fuck buddy. You wanted to casually forget it by the day, then crave for it during the night. It is how you put up with stress from your work. You separate your professional life to your personal life, that’s how you endure having to face bullshit for years.
He turned around to see you put your clothes back. “Oh shit” he shut his eyes the moment his memories stirred him from his stupor.
“Morning. Look, I’ll go ahead? I’ll be late for work. You can stay as long as you like… but not too long… Whatever, just, don’t forget to take all your things on the way. I know where you live so don’t do anything funny” you put on your bra and underwear then quickly move to your open rack to take your satin robe with you to your bathroom.
“Wine” he sluggishly replied.
“I’m sorry?” you asked, you peered from the wall separating the bedroom and the baths.
“You were playing ‘Wine’. I made that.” He snickered lazily.
“Made what? Wine, this song?” you pointed to your speaker “It’s sung by a girl named Suran? Wait, are you still drunk? I have Tylenol inside the drawer– ” he smiled at the thought of you being kind and considerate. He then shook his head.
“No, I meant I produced that. I’m glad you like it enough to make it your alarm” he pulled down the duvet, exposing his bare chest. He sat up, but the brightness from your window made Yoongi squint his eyes.
“What are the odds” you chuckled, but only for a while, because when you took your phone and typed in the song on your search bar you found his name, well his other name that is.
“Suga? Are you Suga? Who named you that?” you smiled, as you turned away from him towards your shower but stopped midway.
“You produced a song for Jimin?! THE Park Jimin? the famous idol? The one who won KMA, MAMA, and Daesang… you made those songs?” you swiped further and saw a ‘breaking news’. You narrated it out loud “Look, you know about this? ‘Park Jimin just married his long time non-celebrity girlfriend’…” then paused. You remember the conversation you had with him last night, suddenly grasping and putting things together “Shit, she’s the ex, isn’t it?” you went back to face him, waiting for his response.
“Yeah” Yoongi sat up, eyes still listless. “Isn’t it Dispatch worthy?” he asked sarcastically.
“No,” you replied dryly. “You know what is?” you rested your arm on the doorway from your bathroom and watched him react “Park Jimin, has a piercing on his left nipple. That’s why you never see him wear a fitted shirt” you raised one of your eyebrows and smiled.
His eyes, which looked formerly lethargic, became wide and lively.
“Wait, what? How? When?” he opened his mouth in shock.
“He was still a rookie then I guess? Anyway it’s been years… and was very single at that… He loves that left nipple a lot, you know? That he came by too soon. He wasn’t that great to be honest, you were better, well more than better to be precise… and I guess that’s what made your ex regret her life decisions?” you shrugged as you watched him laugh hard at your remark. “So don’t be too bummed, okay? You were definitely better, and you deserve the best out there” you smiled and left him there on your bed.
“Thanks” he spoke softly as he watched you close the bathroom door.
That was the very first time you talked with someone you slept with, the morning after. And the funny thing is, you never regret doing so.
——
You didn’t want to come, but you have to, it was such a horrible position to be sitting beside your now ex-best friend while you two try to remain professional at work.
It was the first time you weren’t left with a sticky note with a smiling face, nor placed a freshly brewed coffee for her, first thing in the morning on her desk. You were both working fine, but the relationship was beyond repair.
That night after work, you found Yoongi waiting in line to get a cup of java in one of your favorite cafes.
“Hey neighbor” he smiled. “Fancy meeting you here?”
“Well I was on the way home. Then I saw you. Have you eaten dinner?” you asked, you went beside him on the line.
“Is that an invitation or are you asking me out?” he squinted his eyes towards you, as you rolled your eyes.
“It’s the former. I thought it’s around dinner time by now, maybe we could share a meal? There’s a promo on one of the restaurants nearby…” you took your phone out to show him a copy of an electronic voucher they were giving for free online.
“Sure, I like promotions. The ones that don't require me to shell out a lot” he remained stoic, despite genuinely liking the idea of cutting regular priced foods.
“Exactly” you winked at him.
——
You brought him to a BBQ place, and saw him turn ecstatic to see them actually serving Kobe Wagyu Beef.
“I must admit, you know the perfect places to eat” he affirmed.
“Of course, I’m very particular in choosing my meat” you stared at him for a second, as he watched you chew a piece, your eyes still fixated on him. He gulped.
“Wanna come over to my place, after?” he asked.
——
UPDATE: Chapter 2 is HERE!
#bts fanfic#bts fanfiction#min yoongi#yoongi#yoongi smut#min yoongi fanfic#min yoongi fanfiction#Yoongi fanfic#Yoongi fanfiction#Min Yoongi smut#Min Yoongi x reader#Yoongi x reader#Min Yoongi x y/n#Yoongi x y/n#BTS Min Yoongi x reader#BTS Yoongi x reader#BTS Yoongi#suga#Suga fanfic#BTS Suga fanfic#BTS Min Yoongi#min yoongi x reader smut#Yoongi x reader smut#Suga x reader smut#bts smut#yoongi fwb au#yoongi fwb#yoongi neighbor au#yoongi neighbor#min yoongi x y/n
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The one I can’t live without
“Am I okay?” he hisses like a rattlesnake. “My boyfriend just took a swan dive off a four-story building with an asshole with a gun. What do you think, Carlos? Does that sound okay?”
Carlos does something reckless at work upsetting TK.
Written for @911lonestarangstweek - Day 1: Emotional whump + “How do we fix this?”
In hindsight, Carlos probably shouldn’t have been so flippant in the sight of TK’s worry.
He’s running on adrenaline. They’re in the middle of a standoff on the roof of a four-story apartment building with him between an erratic gunman on the ledge and his girlfriend. He’s trying to talk the man into lowering his gun when his radio goes live, letting him know the rescue cushion has been inflated below them, and he cringes as it causes the man before him to lose the last bit of grip he has on the situation. He doesn’t stop to think; he sees the man’s trigger finger start to pull back, and Carlos rushes forward, his arms going around the guy’s waist. Next thing Carlos knows, they’re in the air freefalling before landing on the giant cushion.
Screaming and orders are being shouted as he rolls off the cushion with his arms still around the man. He lets him go to grab his cuffs before standing him up and passing him over to his partner, finding a look of exasperation on her face.
“You’re either the bravest or dumbest son of a bitch I know, Reyes,” she says with a shake of her head before tilting it in the direction of a series of first responder vehicles. “Get your ass over there to make sure you still have your brains in the right place, though after this stunt, I have to wonder.”
Carlos rolls his eyes but does what she says, starting to make his way over to the paramedics.
“By the way,” she calls out, causing him to look back at her. “Your man is over there spitting nails.”
Carlos winces, just now noticing the number on one of the rigs. He continues walking over, feeling dread as he spots Paul and Judd and sees the pitying looks on their faces as he passes them. He sees Tommy and Nancy first. They seem to be forming a barrier with their bodies, and he quickly realizes it’s because TK is behind them, sitting on the edge of their rig with his head between his knees, taking in deep breaths.
“Baby, are you okay?” he asks, concerned, stepping around them only to step back when TK snaps his head up to look at him, his green eyes flashing.
“Am I okay?” he hisses like a rattlesnake. “My boyfriend just took a swan dive off a four-story building with an asshole with a gun. What do you think, Carlos? Does that sound okay?”
“TK – “ he starts to say with what he hopes is a calming voice. It seems to do the exact opposite as TK turns redder, his face twisting into a nasty scowl.
“Of all the reckless, stupid, boneheaded things to do,” he rants. “What were you thinking? Were you even thinking at all – “
Carlos scoffs, and even though his brain is screaming at him not to continue, he can’t help himself when TK gives him a challenging look at the sound. “That’s a little hypocritical coming from you, don’t you think? Reckless is kind of your trademark.”
He knows it’s the wrong thing to say the second the words are out of his mouth. He expects TK to curse him out if he’s honest. What he isn’t expecting is the flash of hurt he sees cross TK’s face or the way his hand trembles. He feels his stomach drop unpleasantly as TK’s eyes shine wet, and he’s more than ready to apologize when TK turns towards his Captain.
“Captain Vega,” he starts, his voice shaking slightly. “If you would please check Officer Reyes over. I’ll go check on the girlfriend and make sure she’s okay.”
He notices Tommy look over at him, but his focus is on TK and how he won’t look at him anymore.
“Sure, TK,” Tommy answers kindly, her voice motherly the way he’s heard it at times with both her people. “Nancy, go with him.”
“You got it, Cap,” Nancy answers, putting herself on the side of TK to act as a barrier once again when they pass him. He thinks of reaching for TK anyway, but the glare Nancy gives him as she walks by stops him in his place. Instead, he watches them walk away, his dread growing with every step TK takes away from him.
Tommy clears her throat, forcing Carlos to turn back to her. He feels his face go hot at the judging look he finds on her face.
“Well,” she starts to say, letting out a loud breath. “That was an idiotic thing to say, wasn’t it?” she questions bluntly, and Carlos can’t help but cringe before nodding.
Tommy’s expression softens a bit at that. She rolls her eyes at him before waving him forward. “Well, come on, let’s get you checked out,” she motions to where TK had been sitting, probably hyperventilating because Carlos dove off a damn building – fuck he’s an idiot.
“TK might be pissed at you right now, but I guarantee the first thing he’s going to ask when he comes back is if you’re okay. It will go a long way to get you out of the doghouse if I tell him you’re fine. Then you can apologize for the stupid thing you just said when the man that loves you was on the verge of a panic attack over your safety,” she finishes pointedly, making him feel worse if possible.
֎֎֎
He doesn’t get to apologize.
Mitchell comes over to tell him they’re wanted back at the station before TK and Nancy come back to the rig. He goes reluctantly; he knows he has a job to do, but he hates the idea of leaving things unsettled with TK.
Tommy sees his hesitation, her expression softening once more as she gives him a slight shove and lets him know that she’ll tell TK he’s okay. He nods, grateful, and asks her to tell TK if he can please text him, getting a nod back from the medical Captain.
He gets that text he’s waiting for hours later when he’s gotten home. Only it’s not with the message he’s hoping for, whatever that might be. Instead, it reads: ‘Spending the night at my dad’s. I’ll call you.’
Nine simple words that make his stomach clench with unease. He wants to call TK, but his eyes keep falling on the last three words of the text.
‘I’ll call you.’
The message is clear for Carlos to understand. TK doesn’t want him to reach out before he’s ready to talk to him.
He looks at his kitchen, prepped for an apology dinner he had planned of coconut curry ramen, and sighs as he starts putting things away. He loves cooking for TK, having him sit on his counters with a smile on his face as he watches him work, stealing kisses from him after he lets him taste a sauce. It’s not the same as cooking for one anymore.
As a matter of fact, he quickly realizes through the rest of the evening that his apartment isn’t the same without TK. He’s known for a while that his boyfriend spends a lot of time at his place, but Carlos hadn’t realized how much he’d gotten used to it until now that they’re fighting and he’s not there.
He eats cold cereal half-heartedly and then heads upstairs. Usually, he and TK would cuddle on the couch after dinner, only half paying attention to whatever was on tv as they exchange kisses and touches. Not having that tonight, knowing that it’s by his own doing, leaves him feeling despondent. He gets ready for bed, already knowing that it’s going to be a restless night. The only times he sleeps alone these days is when TK has an overnight at work.
He lays in bed feeling agitated and miserable as he turns to face TK’s side of the bed, hating how it’s cold to the touch when he extends his hand to touch the space. He wants to reach out and have his fingertips find his boyfriend’s warm body there.
He falls into a fitful sleep, startling awake when he hears movement in his bedroom. Sitting up, he inhales a sharp breath as he spots a tense TK by the door, the light of the hallway illuminating him. Turning on the bedside lamp, he plays with the covers as they stare at each other, nervous energy crackling between them.
“I’m still pissed at you,” TK finally speaks, his brow pinched. “But I can’t sleep without your arms around me anymore,” he whispers, obviously more upset than angry.
Carlos swallows hard, hating to see TK like this and knowing he’s the cause. “How do I fix this?”
TK lets out a sigh, and pushing his shoes off, comes over to the bed, sitting down on it. “I think the real question is how do we fix this,” he corrects him, giving him a sad smile. “And unfortunately, the answer is there is no real way to fix it. I was so scared for you today because I’m so in love with you, so unless I decide to stop loving you, I’m always going to be scared when you’re in a dangerous situation,” he finishes with a wry chuckle that sounds accepting of his fate. It makes Carlos’ heart break and fills with hope simultaneously.
“I’m sorry for what I said earlier,” Carlos whispers. He slowly reaches out, touching his fingertips to the hand TK has resting on the bed, letting out a sigh when TK turns it, taking a firmer hold.
“Yeah, that was dumb,” TK answers dryly, his eyebrow raised in challenge for a moment before he lets out a sigh of his own. “But you weren’t wrong. I have made you worry about me more than once on the job.”
“Yeah,” Carlos breathes out, thinking of TK getting shot, of the minefield and his abduction. Each time Carlos had his heart in his throat, but never did TK dismiss it the way he did today. “I’m sorry,” he says again, letting out a breath when TK’s expression softens.
“I know you are,” TK says softly. He moves, laying back on the bed, his arms open to Carlos.
Carlos doesn’t waste a second. He sinks into TK’s frame, relieved to be back in his embrace, closing his eyes when TK presses a kiss to his forehead.
“We have to be more careful out there,” TK says against his brow. “The both of us.”
Carlos nods in agreement. He thinks back to how lonely his place felt all evening without TK and lets himself voice the thought that has been echoing in his mind all night. “We have someone important waiting for us to come back home in one piece to.”
TK touches his chin, tipping his head up to look him in the eye. “The most important person in my life,” he tells him with a gentle smile, and Carlos knows he’s been forgiven completely.
“The one I can’t live without,” Carlos whispers back, swallowing around the lump in his throat as he takes in the shine in TK’s eyes at his words.
“Yeah, the one I can’t live without,” he whispers back before covering his mouth with his, kissing him gently.
Carlos returns it, deepening it as he grows desperate for more, his hands reaching out under TK’s shirt to touch the warm skin he was yearning for earlier.
TK answers his touch by pulling back long enough to pull the shirt over his head, turning as he rolls Carlos over, covering him with his body, and kissing him thoroughly and deeply. Carlos lets out a whine when TK breaks the kiss, pressing smaller, softer ones over his cheeks and nose as Carlos makes another sound.
“We should sleep,” he says quietly, shaking his head when Carlos protests. “It’s been a long day, it’s late, and you jumped off a building. You can’t tell me you’re not tired.”
Carlos tries to argue only to let out a yawn that makes TK laugh.
“Thought so,” he continues smugly. “Sleep, sweetheart. We can pick this up in the morning.”
“Fine,” Carlos pouts, his eyes already growing heavy, causing TK to chuckle again.
He watches as TK stands to remove his pants before getting back in bed.
“Can I hold you?” he questions nervously.
“Yes, please,” TK breathes out, turning his back to him, letting out a sigh when Carlos throws an arm around him, tucking his face into his neck, breathing in that uniquely TK scent.
“I love you,” he mumbles into the skin, exhaling as TK squeezes his arm.
“I love you too, baby,” he answers, sounding just as tired as Carlos. After their emotional day, it makes sense he’s so worn out.
Carlos closes his eyes, finally relaxing for the first time all day with TK back in his arms.
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Unpacking the Angel Event (Through My Own Perspective)
Okay so uh… this was a very uncomfortable seat the Devs have offered us today and like all things that give me moral uncomfiness, I HAVE to analyze it. Blame the ethics classes. A full disclaimer, this is not spoiler-free and is pretty much entirely just me unpacking my own feelings here. What may bother or not bother me could really affect you and there is nothing wrong with that. You are entitled to your own perspective. This is just me trying to walk through all the stuff in this event that just… rubbed me the wrong way. So let's get to it.
The Costumes
So. Let's start at the beginning. Diavolo apparently had the bright idea to put everybody in magical costumes of their angel forms (or something like it in Satan's case). This is… problematic.
The reason the brothers lost their angel forms was because they fell after the Celestial War… who's greatest causality (in their eyes) was their sister, Lilith. So one could imagine that their memories as angels aren't particularly happy ones… By this point in the "continuity" (this is Post-Attic, more on that later), they would have known that Lilith didn't actually die which may soften something like this a little. I dunno, I'm not one of them and trauma is uniquely personal to the individual, but the bigger issue is that Diavolo thought this was a good idea to start with to which I say! - I'm not at all surprised by that. Hear me out.
Diavolo is heavily implied to have had a huge ass crush on Angel Lucifer. He's also uh… probably a little sheltered (as sheltered as the royalty of Hell can be) and probably not used to think of his subjects' feelings on the things he does before he just does them. This is fairly evident in other events where he'll order the brothers to do XYZ task even if they want no part in it. It doesn't surprise me at all that Diavolo would want to see them (Lucifer) as angels again and not take into account how that could affect them. I don't think that'd be malice on his part, just shortsightedness, and he likely would have apologized if any of the brothers expressed an emotional problem with it to him directly.
Do they have problems? Yes. But since the event kind of wipes them of their true selves, that's better discussed elsewhere. Moving on.
The Bangles
Holy fuck, how do we even approach this? So Simeon, in conjunction with Michael (probably, at this point I have to wonder if he's telling the truth about this) gives the brothers jewelry, presumably to wear to the party, that would… I'm not even sure. Curb their impulses? Force them to be mannered? The important thing is he did not tell them about that little detail before they put the bangles on…
This is… also problematic. First, we can try to establish Simeon's intentions versus what actually happened:
The bangles were (likely) intended to be removable. It was the mixing of the magic that locked them in place so we can assume he didn't mean this to be a permanent change.
The magic on the bangles was probably amplified by the angel costumes. What this means is though we can assume that Simeon never intended them to become quite so… different, we'll never know just how much influence he was actually trying to put on them. It could have been anything from suppressing their sins to full blown force you to say please/thank you. We'll just never get to know now…
I won't be the first person to liken this to mind control (nor the last) because… that's kind of how it turned out. Even worse still, it would have been completely involuntary on the brothers' part. Simeon DID NOT tell them what the bangles were going to do. Now, he claims later that he would have eventually, but we don't get to know when that would have been. I presume at some time after the party, because like. These are our boys. They're not going to consent to wearing something like that, they're just not.
This poses all kinds of questions and problems ranging from issues of consent to anatomy and even the worth of good deeds done out of obligation vs. free will and… I mean quite literally when I say Jesus Christ, Simeon, what the hell?!
I could write a completely different post debating whether or not what Simeon did actually had any moral merit but I won't because it'd be very dry and boring. I think the most interesting thing to take away here is that Simeon thought it was okay to do like, at all, and with approval from Michael (maybe) no less… That reflects something on angel society that I doubt will get explored but I need to ponder farther…
This section is all kinds of sticky so we need to move on.
The Development(?)
First off, to new players, don't worry this probably isn't canon (at least to the main story continuity). The Brothers should be back to normal in the new chapters and this won't have a long term effect on anything (aside from maybe a tie in to the next event ala Beach event-> Games). That's how Obey Me has always treated their events it seems and I sure hope they stick to it now. But, these are still the same characters going through a unique situation and that can offer some insight so… Let's discuss.
I mentioned earlier that the brothers had problems with this… Unfortunately, I think we only get to see Lucifer and Satan's thoughts in any detail because everyone else is too far gone by the time we reach them… Lucifer can pretty much be summed up as troubled and unhappy because (you know) not a lot of great memories as an angel. I presume that his wounded pride after the fall may also contribute.
Satan is… more complex. I’m honestly more bothered by his change than anyone else’s because even he expresses how weird this is for him... (We get confirmation that he never in fact had an angel form, btw). Poor baby is going through a full on identity crisis and there’s a certain part of his mind that he’s not even allowed to use right now... Anger. The Avatar of Wrath, born from Wrath, can’t get angry and… Something about that just bothers me at a deeper level, not even I can express properly…
Everyone else is too far gone once we reach them. Their personalities are completely different and they can’t even acknowledge that’s the case. They think that they’ve turned a new leaf but we know that’s not the reality, that leaf was very much turned for them and it doesn’t make anything feel any better…
This may be my own opinion, but part of me thinks that this portion (and only this portion right here) was actually what the Devs were going for. They wanted us to be uncomfortable by all of this for like, story reasons. It’s a narrative trick. Think of the phrase “You don’t know what you’ve got till it’s gone.” I think they were trying to use the absence of the brothers’ usual flaws and traits as a weird way of celebrating them. Kind of like saying, “We could have given you guys these perfect brothers, but they’re not perfect and we know that’s why you like them. Look at these perfect guys, doesn’t it feel wrong?” The answer is, yes. It does feel wrong. And under other circumstances, it would be affirming like they’d be intending, “I don’t want this emotionally-open non-otaku, give me Levi dammit!” But when you add this intended discomfort with the already sketchy way we got here it just makes it all the worse…
And absolutely NONE of this is helped by...
The… End?
I think the thing I hate about this event the most (actually legitimately hate) is how it ends. In that it doesn’t. It kind of just… abruptly stops right after Lucifer starts coming to himself again. Though I suspect that’s because they’re putting incentive into getting the event cards, this in NO WAY does the narrative any favors.
Most people are not going to get those cards. Even with Lonely Devil as an option, it’s a huge time/resource commitment to get there. Because of that, the majority of people are not going to get to see the aftermath of what happened. We don’t get to see how the brothers feel about what happened. We don’t get to see if they do, in fact, come to and if they have any takeaways from the experience or if they’re utterly disgusted by it. The player character doesn’t even get the option to comfort them after something that was probably terribly traumatic. It. Just. Ends.
What that means is all of that discomfort that we had just lingers… There’s no resolution or pay off. It just… stays… This is the worst possible thing they could have done. If you want your audience to feel uncomfortable, that’s one thing, but unless you’re telling like, a psychological thriller you gotta settle them back down again! Deep moral conflict is not a turn on!!!
Personally, I don’t hate that this thing exists. I don’t. The part of me that majored in Philosophy loves analyzing media like this so I can’t say that I didn’t get anything out of it. I don’t think all media should play it safe, it’s okay to leave the audience with no good answers or a feeling of unease, but you really got to be self-aware of it. The biggest flaw of this event, in my opinion, is that it rarely comes across as self-aware of its own horror. You get a very brief glimpse of it from Solomon when he comments on how creepy things are, but Simeon’s happy. Diavolo’s happy. And though he’s a little uneasy, Luke’s pretty content, too. Add that to the abrupt ending and we never get to know if ANY of them realize how awful of a thing this was to do to the brothers... It makes it all come off as an endorsement of mind controlling your friends into better people and (to me) that feels really, really wrong.
So in conclusion… I dunno. If the next event isn’t something along the lines of “Angelic Demons Part 2: Fixing What We Fucked Up!” then I think they really botched this one guys… I hope somebody was taking notes.
#this is pretty much an essay#fair warning#long post#even for me#obey me angel event#obey me#obey me shall we date#shall-we-date-obey-me
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