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riverdale-retread · 2 years

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Riverdale S6B Ep #109 (“Venomous”)

This was one of the most enjoyable, Riverdale-esque Riverdale episode (admiring!) in a good while, but at the same time, unholy mother of maple spiders, it made me so nervous for everyone (meaning, the characters AND the various fandoms).

Jughead asks us to consider the downsides of having superpowers while he’s shifting through boxes of comic books about superpowered heroes. Betty in the meantime is suffering debilitating headaches as she looks over childhood photo albums in an attempt to get in touch with her own memories. Veronica is applying a very black lipstick while Archie confronts Percival standing shoulder to shoulder with Reggie, both of them with no good plans for the precious diner. (Where the hell is Tabitha and why have they removed her from the story all this time?).

Reggie snapping back at everyone who treats him with disrespect (which is literally everyone other than Percival, and they really need to examine that, these Riverdale High alums) puts me in this awkward position of being for something that Percival wants, just so I get more of Reggie telling people off. The other thing that I am beginning to like Percival for is that he can meet Archie where he is - threatening him right back for eye-to-eye violence and giving Archie the novel experience of being physically afraid of someone in his life, where he has thus far always been the scary one. Percival has forged a palladium knuckle ring.

Nana Rose isn’t dead! (I’m always lowkey worried Nana Rose might die.) She is however very sick of hearing Cheryl go on about “the lost love” from middle school, Heather. Cheryl, darling, you were what, 13 or 14 when you had this ‘relationship’ with Heather. You have to stop. In any case, Cheryl has discovered that Heather lives in Greendale and is a librarian. Greendale still has a library, unlike Riverdale!

Against sensible advice from her grandmother to let things be, Cheryl gravely consults a Magic 8 Ball (“O Sphere O’ Knowledge”) yet even that plastic object refuses to give her the go ahead, so she ignores it to send an email to Heather. (Cheryl having absolutely no business further with Toni is very strange, but everyone is ‘mining’ their teen years in this episode so I suppose Cheryl has no choice but to succumb to the zeitgeist.)

Archie consults with Jughead about Percival. He doesn’t want to “play constant defense,” a turn of phrase which amusingly horrifies Jughead into using comic metaphors. This bit of pretension is very cute. It’s almost impossible to speak efficiently in American vernacular English without using sports metaphors even if you don’t play any yourself. (For example, I had no idea that ‘throw in the towel’ described an actual action and in boxing until I saw it on tv where a coach ran up to the ring to really toss a towel onto the floor of the ring to rescue his defeated fighter).

Then Jughead, hoping against hope that Archie was both listening and still remembers the way Jughead was the only one to bare his soul in response to Cheryl’s questions last episode about how Percival’s malicious magic was manifesting in their lives, tries to talk about being a blocked artist who is terrified he’s going to die alone as a one-book wonder.

In response to Archie’s passing remark that he didn’t know Jughead was enough into comic books to have at least four boxes’ worth, Jughead launches into a whole story about himself. He says he is (a) in touch with his mom who is (b) in Toledo who (c ) somehow still bothered to keep things that were of worth to Jughead without pawning them and (d) did what he asked when he requested that she send them over. Gladys Jones did all this? Really???

Archie has a flashback to Rivervale because Jughead Riverdale uses the same vocabulary and syntax as the Rivervale one.

Very gingerly, Jughead assays, “After that stuff with my grandpa only writing one book” as a way to try to get Archie to care about his existential crisis, all bound up with his artistic ambitions. It’s so heartbreaking. Archie, of course, does not give a shit. As soon as Jughead gets this far, Archie immediately picks up a comic book in an attempt to find something more interesting to discuss. He has absolutely no response to Jughead saying he wants to go into creative writing of some kind again, any kind, regardless of genre.

Archie only wants to know how he can beat Percival (literally and metaphorically). He asks how a fictional superhero (Superman) with a similar affliction overcame it (fatally sensitivity to Kryptonite). It’s so meta it makes me dizzy. Archie is a fictional character (“Ce n’est pas une pipe!”) who I have to take as a real person in order to watch the show, but then now that he’s a superhero with a Superman-like weakness, Archie is shown consulting actual comic books that exist about Superman in my world (actual) to get information about how he should behave in his world. Fake- real Archie Andrews consulting real-fake-but-real Superman comics for his known reality.

Jughead is so used to this cruel rudeness and self absorption from his beloved best friend (keywords like GRANDPA and ONLY ONE BOOK got roundly ignored!) that he simply answers the questions that are asked, spilling out everything he knows about superheros building up immunity to toxic substances. Archie decides to tap Cheryl for palladium so he can try it too.

Speaking of toxic substances: The entire Veronica Lodge story involving her toxins is a hilarious COVID-19 metaphor. I genuinely, sincerely loved every bit of this.

The next scene starts with Dr. Curdle Jr. wearing the PPT face shield that we’re all now used to looking at a mundane item. Veronica wears a veil covering her face. It looks very stylish but it’s also commentary on the Western debate about the efficacy of face coverings as protection against communicable disease. Veronica acts like this net veil is actually somehow protective of others throughout this episode when clearly, it can’t possibly be.

Dr. Curdle Jr. (who in Rivervale was OBGYN) has tested Veronica’s saliva, tears, blood, sweat (but not, urine, feces or other secretions). She’s fully toxic. He wonders how she hasn’t died yet. She’s an asymptomatic carrier, that’s why! He prescribes dialysis in addition to recommending social isolation. (“avoid any and all physical contact”).

Meanwhile, Betty seeks out Jughead’s help. “I need your help, Jug.”

You know how there’s people who have a fear of intimacy and are like, connection avoidant? Jughead and Betty are, with each other, the exact opposite of that. The word that occurs to me is co-dependant but I don’t think that’s the right antonym.

Jughead enters almost every relationship with an intention to imprint on that person for life. The only exception we’ve ever seen to this rule is Jess, and that may be because Jess is shown canonically to be things the show Riverdale really dislikes (drug dealer, for one, and the destroyer of books, for another).

Betty for her part is willing to peel the very skin off her skull to get at the truth. She is asking Jughead to literally invade her subconscious mind. This is more naked than naked. Betty has never lacked for courage, but oh my gosh this was a LOT. I almost jumped out of my chair from discomfort at this concept, but she asks it like she’s asking him to maybe pull hair out of a clogged drain, like it’s a little gross, but not dangerous or unreasonable. It’s either desperation or courage - or maybe, just, courage borne of desperation?

Jughead has a similarly relaxed reaction to her absolutely monumental ask. He makes a witty and true joke about how it feels like ‘a trap,’ in the vein of an intimate partner pretending they really want the truth when they don’t. He’s been through some life experiences, obviously. It made me laugh.

Both Betty and Jughead (well, mostly Jughead) talk a lot about how Archie is the One True Good Person On the Planet or whatever, but when push comes to shove, Betty knows that Jughead is her safe person. The qualm I have is that the events of the episode show that Betty may not be a safe place for anyone, including Jughead, so the imbalance that consistently bothers me about Bughead resurfaced in this post-Bughead intimacy. The help that Bughead give each other is unilateral, still, even now, flowing from Jughead towards Betty. It makes me think of Jughead having to ask Tabitha, simultaneously wondering and suspicious, “Why are you so nice to me?” because he’s just not used to people helping him out.

Namely - this ask serves Betty a lot and Jughead not at all. Betty COULD GO TO THERAPY for a lot of this work, but she has a) trust issues (except for Jughead, apparently, which then makes me ask all the questions about everything that apparently happened in the time jump) and b) a not unreasonable desire to not go nor send family members to prison for murder-related crimes. So she uses Jughead. Because he’s Jughead and he knows all of Betty’s issues, Jughead takes on too much and agrees to research ‘deep mind reading’ so he can help Betty out.

I can’t help but recall Jughead did not at any point go to or tell Betty about his hearing loss, just, at all. He knows what her powers are, in addition to the fact (according to Tabitha) that he’s slated to die sometime in the coming months if not weeks, but he hasn’t asked her to channel that on his behalf either. I mean, I find it hard to accept that Betty’s power is so absolutely self serving - that people only glow red when they are directly harmful to Betty Cooper alone, because that’s actually very damning.

Archie punches his fists bloody at the gym. He is just so scary.

Cheryl lends Archie a chunk of palladium. Since last episode, Cheryl has been trying to claw her way back from her Trapped In My House narrative ghetto by being the plot-device exposition witch. Though she says things in a kind and calm tone of voice, the stuff that Cheryl says are such disses on Archie. Such as- You’re messing with forces “far beyond your understanding” because admittedly, Archie’s understanding of anything is quite limited! She offers to aid in his search to find a solution to his debilitating palladium allergy. Meanwhile, Archie wears the chunk of palladium as a pendant.

While Archie is bleeding from a physical reaction to something uniquely poisonous to him, Veronica is attempting to have her blood detoxified because she is poisonous to everyone. She’s following her doctor’s advice even though she feels fine - an exemplary a symptomatic sufferer, as it were. A lackey informs her that the shareholders are being very fussy, refusing to honor her request that they push back the shareholder meeting. “It’s their funeral,” she says.

Nana Rose contemplates an interesting recent painting of Cheryl’s. A headless redhead holds a giant black spider to her bosom. Cheryl asks if she’s seen the book on Rasputin, and Nana Rose reading it. Primly, Cheryl says she needs the tome for research, to which Nana Rose bitchily points out that this may all be a desperate ploy for Cheryl avoid thinking about Heather’s lack of a response to her email. Nana Rose pronounces the word email with the emphasis on the word ‘mail,’ which I’ve never ever heard before. Did you know Nana Rose knows how to send emails?? Apparently she always gets prompt responses to hers. Cheryl isn’t having it - calls her baba yaga (which I think is inapt.)

At the Andrews House, Archie reluctantly reveals the state of his hands to Betty. She yells at him about not taking proper care of himself. Archie’s obsession with not being weak in comparison to Percival makes it impossible for him to not poison himself. Betty resignedly opens a can (of worms??) for Archie.

The shareholder meeting going on at the Babylonium bring Veronica out for a visit. She’s all decked out all in black - black clothes complete with the veil, black lipstick, eyeliner and nails. Reggie kind of has a hard time recognizing her. Reggie is sitting in the central CEO position, so he lists all his grievances. 1. Reggie being removed as co COO. 2. That the casino is not turning a profit. 3. Veronica looking insane.

The shareholders have been offered money to sell out the casino from under her. She is going to put together a new valuation. As Reggie and the all male board sneer at Veronica’s departing back, Jughead is back with Betty, reporting on all the work he’s done in trying to figure out how to do the deep dive into her mind.

Principles of “meditation, hypnotherapy, guided visualization” are the same according to Jughead. He’s still reluctant to call the power he has his ‘power’ - mostly because it’s so uncool probably. The prompt Jughead gives Betty is to imagine her memories as being a box of comic books that Jughead can leaf through. He is such a dork (I love him) - he blurts out “Let’s go Digging” as though he’s not about to do some amateur hour advanced psychotherapy with a highly disturbed woman. They have to hold hands while they do this which convinces me that what Jughead is doing is just full on magic. Therapists (real ones) don’t have to touch you when they uncover your stuff.

Jughead is now in Betty’s mind. The first issue of the “Betty” comic that he pulls drops him into the scene of their first kiss. Oh that was such a good, sweet first kiss they had, wasn’t it? Nostalgia feels (and also suspicion about when the show makers knew the show would be canceled after 7 seasons and started to just get lazy and dip into the B-reel but this is very mean of me and I will stop). Betty interrupts his fascinated reverie. The strange ropey sound that Jughead hears when he emerges from the vision is very creepy.

Dip back into another memory. The one where Betty is prompted by the presence of Dagwood and Juniper as babies to wonder if evil is her inevitable destiny. (The fact that Dag & Juni are in later seasons shown to be budding sociopaths does not bode well). Betty weeps about this, and a banged up Jughead reassures her (God, remember how he used to sport bruises all the time?)

When Betty urges Jughead to go even deeper, they do a really cool visual thing where Jughead, eyes shut in fervid concentration, moves past and ‘into’ Betty’s space. The main indication that he’s gotten to the ‘next level’ is the visual and sound effect of Betty killing the cat. Hal, after this horrible action he forced her into, took her to the Diner for milkshakes. He calls the cat (who ran away because THEY DIDN’T KEEP HER INDOORS LIKE THEY SHOULD’VE and got hit by a car because of THEIR NEGLIGENCE) ‘a sinner.’ Hal, clearly in a very happy mood because his child killed something, wants Betty to tell him that it was exciting. We don’t get to see if she tried to appease him, because the next thing we see is Betty defining what happened to her as being groomed by her father to become a killer.

Betty insists that Jughead must keep digging, and has absolutely no concern for the fact that he blatantly looks like he’s going to vomit at the thought. Jughead is a little better at boundaries than he would’ve been as a kid - he says a very polite, Okay BUT! And asks for a break, amending with “Both of us” because he’s scared of Betty. Jughead alone needing a break wouldn’t fly here.

Meanwhile, Archie is looking horrendously ill from wearing the horcrux (palladium pendant). Cheryl, playing witchy nurse, has made him PALLADIUM SOUP and calls it YUMMY which I found hilarious. Yummy for whom? And how? She brings up Rasputin as a useful example for Archie. For his part, Archie, bless him, seems to take comfort in the fact that Rasputin couldn’t be poisoned and instead had to be drowned. I would like to one day see an AU in which Archie and Cheryl are soulmates because this was utterly insane an exchange and I loved it.

Reggie, permanent henchman is sitting at the right hand (almost) of Percival when Veronica barges into Percival’s residence to yell at Reggie. Percival seems to find Veronica’s dismissal of him kind of a turn on. Reggie for his part is still on extreme truth telling mode: “You can’t imagine me doing something, anything for myself, can you?” He’s finally angry enough to yell at Veronica, announcing that it was he who engineered the attempted ouster of Veronica from her own casino. Veronica just lets him have it - she calls him insecure, ignorant, petty - and at the same time exudes her toxic fumes directly at Reggie. Spraying minute particulates at Reggie’s face induces a nose bleed. Freaked out, Veronica runs away mid rant.

Two things:

1. I WISH I COULD DO THIS. I WANT THIS POWER. CAN I HAVE THIS? PLEASE? I DON’T EVEN MIND IF IT POISONS MY VAGINA. PLEASE GIVE ME THIS.

2. This is Riverdale doing the best, most amusing, most interesting reference to the COVID 19 pandemic possible on American television. Well done, bravo, spectacular. I say this with my entire chest even though at this point I do not watch any other show. But I’m absolutely certain no other show has done this particular metaphor in this specific way.

Cheryl’s palladium soup at first seems to help Archie but then it rapidly does not and he faints at the gym.

Veronica gives Dr. Curdle Jr a second visit, still pretending that her netted veil functions as a mask. (Veronica Lodge is an anti-masker!) I find this very interesting because clearly Curdle is all decked out in PPE. The thing is, when you make the coroner your personal doctor, he’s just going to continually predict death. So Dr. Curdle Jr tells Veronica she’s doomed.

Cheryl in her mansion has a big landline phone that is in the actual shape and color of her plush lips. She’s sitting in a red tartan skirt on a wine red sofa tapping into an oxblood personal computer and I am completely overwhelmed by the red aesthetic. I adore Cheryl Blossom’s character design. But even the great Cheryl Blossom is unable to obtain a red Magic 8 ball. The mundane black one keeps telling her to not contact Heather. She ignores the express instructions of the oracle. She calls Heather, who picks up on almost the first ring. I am going to assume that she’s evil just from this. Cheryl hangs up on her in a panic.

Archie has gone from getting denser and heavier to getting porous & sparse.

I am not sure how to understand the juxtaposition between what’s happening to Archie and Betty sarcastic-cheerfully asking Jughead if he’s ready for Round 2 of the mind reading service he’s providing her. He says a very verbose answer that amounts to NO and she bulldozes over that and forces him to continue. The memory that Jughead is yanked into is one where Betty overhears Hal exulting over Alice telling him that she has the MAOA serial killer gene. The word that keeps getting bandied about with regards to Hal and Betty is ‘excitement’ - Alice asks if he’s ‘excited’ that Betty might have this gene mutation.

Betty interjects with MY MOM IS WORSE THAN MY DAD. (I will stand by my agreement with her on this. Hal was in a lot of ways the better parent, he really was.) Just then, Veronica calls Betty for drinks, and Betty immediately agrees (and doesn’t invite Jughead).

Archie is emptying Palladium Soup from a jar STRAIGHT INTO Riverdale’s sewage system (is this wise?) to the lyrics of the soundtrack, which bellow: “Your god he ain’t no forgiver” and “He’s going to burn you alive” (like Cheryl?). He gets a call from Betty to join him at the bar.

So then Betty, Veronica and Archie meet at the bar to down a TON of shots. So. This is tacit acknowledgment then that all of the core four know that Jughead has a serious drinking problem. Well that’s nice.

When Veronica laments that she is cursed with the kiss of death, Archie welcomes her to the sad superhero club. Then Betty says something interesting: WE’RE not in any danger from you. You would have an aura.

So. Betty’s power DOES extend to people who mean homicide towards someone other than herself. Archie is under the aegis of Betty’s power. (Is Jughead not??) At this, Veronica lifts her netted veil.

SHE REALLY IS AN ANTI MASKER. Like, girl! Veronica! Ver-o-ni-ca! That is not how masks work! Why is she acting like Lana del Rey? Veronica voices the terror that those of us who took COVID 19 seriously felt: “If I touch someone or spit on them or cry on them, THEY DIE.” Veronica is carrying all the loads in this episode. The three of them decide they neither know nor care how their powers manifesting are related, if at all, to Percival .(UMMM CAN WE GET JUGHEAD’S INPUT?)

Veronica has a bit of the sexual compulsion about her. To her ‘meaningful human contact’ = sexual kissing. That is not how I roll but OK. She’s very upset that her last such contact was with Reggie. Then something else bad is realized: She can’t get drunk, either.

The next morning, Archie’s hair is falling out in clumps, so he charges over to Dr Curdle Jr first, and then directly after that to Cheryl. Cheryl seems to have a lot of medical knowledge (about what acute anemia is and what it means about Archie’s body chemistry). Very casually, she tells Archie that he may have (with her soup!) simply poisoned himself rather than build up Rasputin tolerance for toxic substances. She says she’s going to consult her medical texts, and if Archie was even a little bit more intelligent he would be very upset by her using the concept of BALANCE HIS HUMORS as a way of getting out of the poisoning predicament that they have placed him in together.

At the Cooper residence, a slightly drunk seeming Betty finally FINALLLYYYY confronts Alice about a) lying about the serial killer gene (with the help of the Farm and Polly) and b) being useless in the face of Hal grooming Betty to be a killer . Alice denies everything in the most awful, gaslighting way.

Veronica is visiting Cheryl to get a more hopeful prognosis than what the more scientific and soberminded Curdle is willing to do . Didn’t I say Veronica was carrying all the loads? When people hit the limits of what is scientifically available in medicine with their problem still resolved, they turn to woo-woo stuff, healers, magicians, charlatans, off-science practices. Veronica visiting Cheryl is that. Veronica continually treating the funeral netting of her hat as a mask keeps cracking me up. Cheryl is always very willing to poison people (this is a new trait, and it’s great) so she has prepared an assortment of natural toxins for Veronica to test on herself. (Alcohol is absolutely a poison according to Riverdale). She also seeks books about spiders from Cheryl.

The next morning, Betty has barged in on the defenseless (because Tabitha isn’t there) Jughead, in his very fancy old man robe and breakfast cereal in its bowl. What happens next makes me absolutely unable to accept their reconnection and newly established intimacy in a positive light. Betty forces Jughead to become super intimate with HER MOTHER’S mind. Her mother that used to fuck his father, and gave birth to their joint half brother and also was his semi step mother who raised his sister. I just. NO. And Jughead is repelled by this - I AM NOT SURE I AM SUPER COMFORTABLE WITH THAT (Good god, he is still so scared of Betty) but she has a useful tool she can force into compliance, so Betty is going to aim Jughead Jones’ mind at her sicko mother and give no hoots at all about what that might do to his mental hygiene. She never even asks why he might be uncomfortable. He says he doesn’t want to, and her answer is, IT’S SIMPLE TO DO. Betty Cooper attacks her mother using Jughead Jones.

THANKS I HATE IT.

Jughead does as he is forced to, catching what is evidently a terrible memory that is shaken loose in Alice in the face of Betty’s assault on her, at her workplace. Remember how Alice used to be scared of Betty and said so? Yeah.

It’s under the table, Jughead tells Betty, at the Diner. Whatever it is. And Betty just keeps roping him into this - THAT’S WHERE WE’LL DIG. So she can share dirty buried secret with Jughead but not Archie. I don’t think this is because she trusts him more, unfortunately. I think this means Betty values Jughead less. Where is Tabitha please? I need Tabitha. To prove my point, Betty gets a call from Archie, which she takes while Jughead desperately downs some nectar of life (a Tates milkshake) to try to recover from being aimed at Alice Cooper like a gun, and the first thing she asks Archie is ARE YOU OK.

Fucking brutal.

Betty tells Jughead that Cheryl has a “new new” plan for Archie, and Jughead dutifully worries about Archie with her.

Betty never asked what the side effects of reading Alice’s mind might be for Jughead. I must harp on this.

Barchie are listening to Cheryl talk at them about principles of alchemy (absolute woowoo!) being applicable to Archie’s not-quite medical crisis. Since Archie has too much palladium put into his body (put there by CHERYL), Cheryl is going to use a magic alchemical spell to transform that into iron to cure his acute anemia, and then ‘forge’ that excess of iron into his blood in order to make him impervious. So that song lyric about Archie being set on fire was foreshadowing. Layers!

This all will basically sorta kinda make him Wolverine, I guess, except instead of grafting metal onto his bones, make his actual blood metal. What. Oh and when Betty smartly asks what the side effects might be, Cheryl blandly says this all might kill him. Archie says he’s dying anyway, so he doesn’t mind, but does want one more additional night with Betty.

Thank god for the Raven Haired Goddess Veronica Lodge (this is Cheryl’s coinage which I am happily adopting) is having an awesome looking evening. She’s in a big bubble bath, reading about spiders, munching on poisonous plants, with her black lipstick still perfectly in place. Goddess indeed.

Barchie are getting down for a potential final night, and the Riverdale the Show musical director chose a song that intones “This ain’t no stupid crush” over images of Betty sensually touching Archie.

The next morning, Jughead and Betty are going to literally go digging in the Cooper house to get at buried secrets. I suppose it has to be Jughead because Archie is technically ill. I can huffily grant that. But Jughead is still very unwilling. He asks, “Are you sure about this?”

Veronica consults with Cheryl, who concludes that she is immune to all poison. Oh wait - and Archie is about to be made impervious to the one thing that can poison him. Symmetry! In any case, Veronica has reached some conclusions: She’s most toxic when her emotions are heightened.

um.

This seems just a tad misogynist, no? A woman in the throes of emotion = highly toxic? I mean it’s logical as a storytelling device but it doesn’t sit well with me. Cheryl asks about dispassionate kissing, and Veronica ABSOLUTELY REFUSES TO TAKE THE HINT.

Veronica. Please kiss Cheryl. Please. Please please please.

Graciously putting up with the lifelong oblivious lesbian qualities that Veronica shares with Jughead, Cheryl gifts Veronica with one of her enormous spider brooches. As the soundtrack sings “I am a survivor,” Cheryl tells Veronica that she is resilient even if she’s venomous.

Betty and Jughead found a mummified corpse. Betty confronts Alice about it, who finally confesses. Hal killed this deputy and the Coopers buried him together. Alice also confesses that she tried to control Betty into being perfect because she truly believed her inevitable fate was to be a vile serial killer like her husband and it was Alice, as the mother, who was responsible for trying to avoid that fate. Betty tells Alice that her plan failed, and storms off.

According to subtitles, the spell that Cheryl has Archie use is Greek (whereas Percival and Nana Rose use Latin). She manifests witch fire in Archie in the abandoned palladium mine.

Veronica is eating product placement Smartfood popcorn and it doesn’t kill her because she’s impervious to poison. Riverdale’s way of doing product placement has me obsessed.

Just in time, Reggie visits her to threaten her with a hostile takeover. He also confronts her with photos taken somehow of her dialysis treatment. He is condescending (It’s for your health) and she is threatening, and they seem well and truly over.

Archie is invulnerable again! He’s no longer allergic to palladium! He and Betty are very happy about this. Veronica is making a presentation to her board. She starts out talking about money and profitability. Then she decides that the best way to prove she is personally fit to be CEO of the casino by doing a Britney Spears number in skimpy clothing for her very buttoned-up seeming board. She is not going to poison her back up dancers even though she will definitely be spitting and sweating on them, because she can control her own feelings. I have lots of questions about the consent issues involved in Veronica’s relationship with her back up dancers.

It turns out that Veronica can suddenly control her emotions perfectly because she, with Betty’s permission, kissed Archie. In order to get her ‘main character energy back’ according to Betty, who says this hideous thing in the most loving, warm way.

First of all - FIRST OF ALL. The core four (even if we must exclude Cheryl) were always equally main character. So how very dare Betty call her not that. Secondly, Veronica is ‘permitted’ to kiss Archie, for her health, by Betty, despite all the shit that went down in senior year of high school. I just. I cannot with Betty. She is truly being toxic.

Meanwhile, absolutely neglected by everyone, Jughead is going through the side effects of toxic levels of exposure to not one but two Cooper women in a very intense week. Tabitha texts and Jughead answers, but I’mvery very worried about why Veronica singing “You're toxic / I’m slipping under” plays over Jughead.

Also.

The show is being fucking mean about Bughead. I no longer am a Bughead per se, but I find the kiss compilation set to TOXIC a bit too on the nose. I can say this about Bughead, but the show should not!

At Thornhill, we finally meet Heather, who is super cute in her glasses. (I wear glasses so I love girl characters who wear glasses and just wear them all the time).

Veronica’s rendition of Toxic is the craziest thing ever. The grand finale is a giant spider descending from the ceiling. Percival appreciates what I’m sure he’d call her moxie. Veronica blows Barchie a kiss, which Betty catches. I kinda hope she chokes on it.

#this thing is super long and ranty #covid19 mention tw #anti-bughead warning #barchie i guess? i don't even know #veronica lodge #riverdale opinion #riverdale episode 6.14 #riverdale episode 109 #Riverdale s6 #riverdale recap #riverdale episode recap

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lemoncakepanda · 5 years

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Top 50 NaLu Anime Moments {Pt 2}.

Read pt 1 here.

Without any further delay, let’s get back to my top 50 anime nalu moments, and today we cover moments 40 up till 31! This part of the list is probably the most fluffy one, as it’s about to get kinda angsty from the next part on, but hey, let us enjoy our small moment of happiness.

40. Lucy's naked bell roll with Natsu. (Ep 194).

And we starting off kinda kinky, but hey, it’s a form of love, lol. Anyways, I truly love this moment because it was one of the first where you could start seeing that Natsu was actually attracted to Lucy. The anime didn’t include it (idk why) but in the manga he gets all blushy after having his face and hands rubbed in every single inch of naked Lucy, and I loved seeing how he reacted to it. And the first official boob grope (!!!) that results in Natsu getting slapped, which he deserved, lol. While not the only one, this is probably the most fanservice NaLu moment you’re gonna get on this list, so don’t worry, I didn’t include all the boob/@ss gropping scenes, I just really love this one especially.

39. “If any of you bastards hurt Lucy, I will turn all of you to dust.” (Ep 83).

Okay, but listen! As... as an honorary Natsu fan, I love when he gets all serious and goes all out on his enemies, and this scene, esp for someone who was slowly losing hope on this ship, really fired me up! It’s moments like this one where you can see how Natsu really cares for Lucy, at the point of injuring himself in the process. And the line, I love that line so much! I often use it in gifsets I make because I adore how protective he is of Lucy, even now that she’s able to fully defend herself, he still... wow. At last, I like this scene because it showcases how close they are and how much Lucy means to Natsu; ofc he’d be upset if any of his other friends got hurt, but y’all know he’s especially protective of Lucy and has been for a while, even back when the ship was only platonic, and there is a reason for it.

38. “Someone give us hope.” (Ep 119).

As I’ve commented on this moment before, I don’t have anything much different to add this time, only that it gets to my heart how much trust these two have in each other, and how much they inspire each other. I chose this moment because it’s one of the most obvious to how Natsu and Lucy’s relationship works: they give each other strength. When one is feeling down or hopeless, the other will step up and stand by their side. It’s a beautiful cycle between them. Zeref commented once that Lucy was a cheerful person, who had a huge impact on Natsu’s growth, and he ain’t wrong about that. This moment is proof of it.

37. “Let’s reform our team.” (Ep 109).

Or in Kain’s words, Natsu and Lucy getting all “flirty and hot”. God, I love Tenrou Island arc. Not only it’s what turned me into a hardcore nalu shipper, but it’s also great storytelling, and very compelling fights. The choice to combine Natsu and Happy with Lucy vs Kain and Ultear was a great one, considering they’d been kinda distant from each other since Edolas and had not really interacted much, and even during arcs like Oracion Seis and Edolas, which had been successors of the Fantasia and Tower of Heaven arcs, which barely had any Nalu in it, it felt like a breath of fresh air to see them together again and staying together, like the team they’d been since the beginning. It also showed how in sync they are with each other and how well they work together. Truly one of the things that made Tenrou Island such a great arc.

36. “Lucy, come home already.” (OVA 4).

Words cannot describe how much I cherish this omake, or in this case, the ova, where Lucy follows Natsu to find out where he and Happy live. For those of you who have not watched it, it’s set in a flashback where Lucy tells the girls about the day she followed her two lousy friends to get revenge on them for always breaking in her house; she successfully finds their house, and there she finds out Natsu keeps memories of all the jobs he’d gone to, two of which include the first job he and Lucy ever went in together and her old maid outfit, which brings a sweet smile to her face. Despite finding their house, Lucy’s plan to surprise them fails because they never show up, so she goes back to her apartment. And, surprise surprise, that’s where Natsu and Happy had been all this time. And we’re left with the heartwarming conclusion that, although they annoy the fck outta her, eat all her food, mess up her stuff, and hog her bed all to themselves, Lucy loves having them around. They turn her house into a home, they give her someone to come home to, they give her all the company she never had when she was a child. ‘Twas a very nice conclusion to the story, and served as a nice confirmation to something we’d always suspected.

35. Watch Out for the Guy You Like! (Ep 50).

This, in my opinion, is one of the most hilarious FT episodes; even though it results with Lucy finding out all her delusions of Natsu were, well, just delusions, and Natsu just wanted her help to dig a hole, I have so much fun watching those delusions, watching Lucy stop for a moment to actually consider being with Natsu; I think it’s what opened the door to her crush, even if she completely closed her eyes and tried to ignore it. Also, shoujo-like Natsu was a blessing given to us by Mashima which I’m forever grateful for, lmao. But really, I think this omake/episode is actually very important to Natsu and Lucy’s relationship; it showed that all her delusions depicted Lucy’s idea of how a romance should be, and then (spoiler) in the end, she kind of gets that romance, but not in the way she imagined, and it turned out to be exactly the way it needed to be. So, for that, I really like this and find it essential to the ship.

34. Their reunion. (Ep 276).

This moment, originally, was not part of my top 25 Nalu manga moments, and that’s because, while I do love it in the manga, I love it so much more in the anime. It felt more dramatic, with the camera shifting from Natsu and Lucy finally locking eyes after one year apart, and they’re both so goddamn shook! I like that they added this detail in the anime, because you could really feel like it was two people who used to always be together, and then spent 365 days without seeing each other, being only there ever in thought. I also like how they’re both blushing, that little showcase of how happy they are to see the other again, and the small tingle of bittersweetness because we know it’s not 100% okay between them. You know drama’s gonna follow because actions have consequences. But for that one moment, you’re just as happy as Natsu and Lucy to see them reunited once more, the way it’s supposed to be.

33. Lucy makes her choice. (Ep 49).

While I feel that this one goes without saying, the reason I chose it can be explained in two sentences: 1) Lucy has met a guy who’s like the male version of her, is kind, a gentleman, and has a nice vibe with her, but she puts all of that potential aside for the one thing she is sure of, and that’s her partnership with Natsu. 2) Have you seen Natsu’s face when she shows up in that train, ready to leave with them? He’s so shook, he blinks like three times, as if trying to make sure she is really there, that she’s real. And then he just opens the biggest smile, because she chose to be there with them; it’s the first time they’re not dragging her to a job, she simply chose to come along, and you can almost hear the sound of Natsu’s heart going all fluttery when he realizes she cast her ‘date’ aside to go with them. Another moment that, I feel, helped deepen and shape the relationship these two have today.

32. “Make me purr!” Drunk Lucy round 2. (OVA 9).

Again, nothing really different to add on this moment, only that I like how the ova extended and showed Lucy jumping on Natsu in the most s&xual way ever, and how Natsu has all the strength in the world to remove her from him, but “supposedly” is unable to do that when she’s all over him touching him in a very intimate way. Aham. I see right through you, dragon boy. Also, isn’t it interesting that Drunk!Lucy directs all her attention to Natsu if he’s around? Nvm that there’s other guys around, all she cares about is him. I love that. It says a lot about Lucy’s hidden feelings.

31. Reaching out for each other before being separated. (Ep 247).

Tartaros is my favorite FT arc, despite not having that much Nalu in it, it’s probably the arc with most emotional weight, because of everything the characters went through and makes you really feel for them. And although I love the ships, I love the story 1st and Tartaros was indeed amazing story-telling. With that said, I also enjoyed very much the little/subtle/few Nalu moments the arc provided, and one of them is the scene where Natsu and Lucy are being pulled in by the Alegria, and they reach for each other. It’s commonly said that when things get tough, you focus on what’s important to you, and it was very sweet/heartbreaking to watch Lucy and Natsu struggling to get to each other, as they were both unaware of what was going to happen, they were just trying to stay together. You can easily say it’s only because they were alone together, but hello, Mashima did not need to make it like this. It was his choice to make Natsu and Lucy reach out for each other in a way that’s mostly seen between couples, esp in shõnen, and the anime made it even more beautiful.

Part 3 will come up tomorrow!

#nalu #natsu x lucy #fairy tail #top50nalu #sorry guys if I wrote something wrong i'm just really sleep rn lol

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momoemarias · 2 years

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I posted 1,018 times in 2021

29 posts created (3%)

989 posts reblogged (97%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 34.1 posts.

I added 426 tags in 2021

#lis2 - 115 posts

#life is strange - 109 posts

#video - 71 posts

#animals - 38 posts

#oofuri - 31 posts

#marvel - 22 posts

#favorite - 12 posts

#meta - 11 posts

#digimon - 9 posts

#naruto - 8 posts

Longest Tag: 140 characters

#meanwhile i don't have to blissfully ignore anything in the other 3 endings sooo what i'm saying is i don't think pw is the one anymore lads

My Top Posts in 2021

The way people react to lis2 ep4 gets me so heated sometimes

5 notes • Posted 2021-09-03 23:05:40 GMT

Big “omg life is strange 2 is so underrated and I’m never gonna hear anything new about it again am I” mood today

12 notes • Posted 2021-07-06 18:53:54 GMT

Me having the highest regard for oofuri even though it's entirely character driven, centers around a sport a lot of people find boring, and has slow pacing

14 notes • Posted 2021-03-08 03:00:20 GMT

I’m realizing that I get angry at the lis2 redemption ending because... deep down it’s actually a very well done and appropriate ending but it’s SO unfair to Sean that I just 🙃🙃 don’t want to accept it.

20 notes • Posted 2021-06-14 02:35:27 GMT

I think Finn is one of the more interesting lis2 characters because of how different he feels based entirely on your choices? You’d think the version of him that is sweet and well-meaning and also your boyfriend would become soured knowing that he’s still the same character that betrays your trust in the no-heist playthrough, but... idk, I personally can’t hate him.

It’s so easy to paint him two completely different ways (even though again, same character). I don’t even think Karen is like that, since the game pushes you in the direction to forgive or at least accept her.

I know there’s more worthwhile meta out there about Finn’s treatment in the game and how it could’ve been better. I appreciate that he’s kind of divisive I guess? He feels like the one character that really depends entirely on what you choose to say/do. I was fully prepared to dislike him on my first playthrough only to end up liking him a lot by the end of ep 3/beginning of ep 4.

27 notes • Posted 2021-05-27 03:53:11 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

#my 2021 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review #heh

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asflowersfade · 6 years

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Ficlet: False Smiles

A MacGyver ficlet. Patricia Thornton is a dangerous woman. Or, Bozer finds out what Mac did for him. Bozer’s POV.

Regarding Bozer’s employment, I thought that Patty gave in way too easily in ep 109...

Bozer knocks hesitantly on the door of Patricia Thornton’s office at the Phoenix Foundation headquarters and waits for her response before sticking his head in. “Ms. Thornton? Do you have a minute?” he asks her.

Thornton lifts her eyes from the paperwork on her desk and furrows her brows in confusion, seeing who it is. “Bozer? Yes, of course, come in.”

Slipping in, he closes the door behind him. The office is big - and its glass walls make it seem even bigger, giving it an open, airy feel - so it takes him a while to cross it and the thick gray carpet muffles his steps. When he finally comes to a stop directly in front of her big desk, also made of glass, he says haltingly, “I-I wanted to thank you.”

Now her eyebrows shoot up as her confusion deepens. “Thank me?” she asks, uncertainly.

Bozer nods. “Yes. For, you know, giving me a job instead of locking me up and throwing away the key like you probably wanted to?” He smiles nervously and shuffles his feet. “I mean, don’t get me wrong, I am the one completely innocent party here. I haven’t done anything wrong. Still, I get that you could’ve made my life so much harder for me, if you had wanted to.”

For a moment, she just stares at him. She doesn’t smile, she doesn’t even blink. She sits there completely motionless, almost statue-like. It’s actually quite creepy. At least in Bozer’s opinion. He feels like a prey in the sight of a predator.

Then Thornton sets her pen aside slowly and clasps her hands together on the desk in front of her, leaning against her elbows. “Bozer,” she says, and though her voice isn’t unkind, it also doesn’t sound really friendly. “Let’s get one thing clear from the start: I do think you’ll be an asset for this company and I do like you, personally--”

Bozer brightens. “You do?”

Her eyes narrow a little at his interruption, so he shuts up quickly.

“But,” she continues and this time, her voice seems harder, harsher, threaded with something darker, more... dangerous, “I would not have gone so easy on you, nowhere near so, if Mac hadn’t pressed the issue.”

Now it’s Bozer’s turn to frown in confusion. “Mac? How so?” What is she talking about? What did Mac do?

“As I said, I don’t doubt you’ll prove to be valuable to us, one way or another - but it’s MacGyver who’s indispensable for this company. And he threatened to quit if I didn’t back off. And when my choice was between losing my best agent or gaining a new lab technician?” She pauses to emphasize her words, “Then it was no choice at all.”

Bozer blinks. “Mac threatened to quit?”

He didn’t know that. Mac didn’t say anything. Bozer guesses he should be used to it by now, to Mac keeping things from him, but this? He would’ve really walked out? Wow. Bozer’s mind’s blown.

“Yes, he did,” Thornton confirms with a disapproving pinch to her lips.

“And that was enough for you to not just let me go but hire me, too?” Bozer asks in utter disbelief.

Thornton sighs. “Bozer, I don’t think you truly grasp how important Mac is for the Phoenix Foundation. We have many agents in the field but not one of them is anything like Angus MacGyver. I know that until a few days ago, you only saw him as some ‘think tank’ employee but I can assure you that he’s not. No other agent of ours has his or her own security detail and there’s a reason for that.”

Huh, until this moment, that didn’t even occur to Bozer. He can’t help but still think of Jack Dalton as nothing more than a goofy co-worker of Mac’s. True, he’s always found it odd that someone like Jack would work for a think tank but… not once did the idea that he might actually be Mac’s bodyguard cross his mind!

“Mac’s a… specialist,” Thornton continues. “A man of... exceptional skills, sent to deal with… extraordinary situations. He’s the best at what he does and, yes, that carries weight. And he threw that weight behind you, Bozer. He vouched for you. He put his own credibility on the line - for you. I would advise you not to forget that. Ever. And to think twice before you do anything… unwise.” She looks at him pointedly. “Is that understood?”

Bozer swallows hard because Thornton’s eyes, they seem all-seeing to him. He can’t help but feel that she’s reading his most private thoughts, that she knows everything about him. And she probably does, considering. In spite of himself, he shivers, feeling exposed.

“Understood,” he replies softly.

Then, all of a sudden, Thornton smiles and the demanding harshness is gone from her eyes, hidden once again behind a curtain of pleasantness. That feels even creepier to Bozer. It’s like a game of “good cop, bad cop” but with just one person playing both parts.

“Welcome to Phoenix Foundation, then, Mr. Bozer. I’m sure we’ll get along wonderfully,” Thornton says amiably as she gets up and reaches out across her desk.

Bozer shakes her hand and her firm grip, cold yet dry, makes him shiver again. “Thank you,” he says, trying to return her smile and failing.

And as he then hurries down the stairs back to his new lab, Bozer’s not sure if he actually likes this world his best friend inhabits, a world full of false smiles and easy deception. Maybe, just maybe, ignorance truly was a bliss.

#macgyver #patricia thornton #wilt bozer #thehemingwaygoldfish #my fics #my macgyver fics

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zollyandzevie · 6 years

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Favorite Songs of 2017

These were my favorite songs of 2017, whether they were released in 2017 or not. These were just all of the songs I listened to on repeat at some point in the year.

1. When It’s Over - Sugar Ray

2. Beach Bones (feat. Ryan Ross) - More Amore

If it isn’t obvious, I’m a bit of a panic fan and I was super happy to rediscover this song.

3. Paralyzer - Finger Eleven

4. C’Mon - Panic! At The Disco

I apologize in advance for all of the panic songs to come

5. If You Like It Or Not - The Brobecks

6. Lights Down Low - MAX ft. gnash

7. Semi-Charmed Life - Third Eye Blind

8. 1985 - Bowling For Soup

9. Closing Time - Semisonic

10. I’m Like A Lawyer With The Way I’m Always Trying To Get You Off (Me & You) - Fall Out Boy

11. Love is Alive - Lea Michele

Check out her new album “Places”. It’s amazing!

12. Nearly Witches [Ever Since We Met...] - Panic! At The Disco

13. Good Morning - Grouplove

14. We Don’t Believe What’s On TV - Twenty One Pilots

15. Take A Vacation! - The Young Veins

16. The Exit [feat. Brendon Urie and Dan Young] - Forgive Durden

I LOVE this album and everyone should check it out! It’s called “Razia’s Shadow: A Musical” and the whole idea behind it is amazing.

17. Time to Dance - Live in Chicago - Panic! At The Disco

18. She’s A Handsome Woman - Panic! At The Disco

19. She Had The World - Panic! At The Disco

20. The Calendar - Panic! At The Disco

21. Ready to Go [Get Me Out Of My Mind] - Panic! At The Disco

22. How Far I’ll Go - From “Moana” - Alessia Cara

23. Heathens - Twenty One Pilots

24. I Don’t Care - Fall Out Boy

25. That Green Gentleman (Things Have Changed) - Panic! At The Disco

26. Polarize - Twenty One Pilots

27. Where Did The Party Go - Fall Out Boy

28. Cold Cold Cold - Cage The Elephant

29. The Sound of Silence - Disturbed

30. Whataya Want from Me - Adam Lambert

I’m not 100% where this one came from but I enjoyed the little phase of listening to this on repeat for like two weeks.

31. Good News - Ocean Park Standoff

32. American Candy - The Maine

33. Blackout - Breathe Carolina

34. Wherever You Go - Sublime With Rome

35. Meant to Live - Switchfoot

36. Tonight You’re Perfect - New Politics

37. Come Hang Out - AJR

10/10 recommend their newest album “The Click”. I love it and know almost all of the words to every song on it. Plus, they’re the ultimate car jams. My friends and I listened to this album on so many road trips this summer.

38. Two Fux - Adam Lambert

39. House Of Memories - Panic! At The Disco

Bet you thought you’d seen the last of panic.

40. Impossible Year - Panic! At The Disco

41. Folkin’ Around - Live in Chicago - Panic! At The Disco

42. Vegas Lights - Panic! At The Disco

43. Trade Mistakes - Panic! At The Disco

44. 20 Dollar Nose Bleed - Fall Out Boy

45. Champion - Fall Out Boy

I’M SO EXCITED FOR M A N I A OKAY

46. The Good Part - AJR

47. Overture - AJR

48. Sweat - The All-American Rejects

49. One More Weekend - Audien ft. MAX

50. Big Shot - Billy Joel

So I got to see Billy Joel live at Madison Square Garden in April with my best friend/basically sister and it was amazing. We had such a good time and he is amazing live!

51. Love in the Middle of a Firefight

Jeebo. That is all.

52. All Of The Drugs - The Brobecks

53. Change - Christina Aguilera

54. Hurt - Christina Aguilera

55. Castle on the Hill - Ed Sheehan

56. It Remembers - Every Time I Die

Brendon Urie and hardcore/metalcore together? Sign me up!

57. Modern Day Cain - I DON’T KNOW HOW BUT THEY FOUND ME

58. Say You Won’t Let Go - James Arthur

59. All These Things That I’ve Done - The Killers

60. Hanging By A Moment - Lifehouse

61. Run - The Maine

62. Feelings - Maroon 5

63. 50 Feet Tall - New Politics

64. Step One - Kinky Boots

So... I got to see Brendon Urie on broadway in Kinky Boots as Charlie Price and my life is complete. I SAW HIM IN PERSON AT THE STAGE DOOR GUYS. He’s did amazing on broadway and I can’t wait to see if he ever does another show!!

65. The History of Wrong Guys - Kinky Boots

66. Not My Father’s Son - Kinky Boots

67. Soul of a Man - Kinky Boots

68. Raise You Up/Just Be - Kinky Boots

69. Hard Times - Paramore

70. Do You Still Feel? (feat. MAX) - Rain Man

71. Face Down - The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus

72. The Judge - Twenty One Pilots

73. Hometown - Twenty One Pilots

74. Do Your Own Thing - Bring It On: The Musical

Taylor. Louderman. That is all.

75. Something Isn’t Right Here - Bring It On: The Musical

76. What About Us - P!nk

77. Disloyal Order Of Water Buffaloes - Fall Out Boy

78. (Coffee’s For Closers) - Fall Out Boy

79. Grow Up - Paramore

80. U + Ur Hand - P!nk

81. Don’t You Want Me (Glee Cast Version) - Glee Cast

Okay so fair warning: Glee is my favorite TV Show and Darren Criss is one of my favorite people to exist. There will be more of both..

82. Colors - Halsey

83. Sign of the Times - Harry Styles

84. Lonely No More - Rob Thomas

85. Bohemian Rhapsody - Panic! At The Disco

86. The Kids Aren’t Alright - Fall Out Boy

87. Headfirst Slide Into Cooperstown On A Bad Bet - Fall Out Boy

88. The Last Of The Real Ones - Fall Out Boy

89. Jealousy - Darren Criss

90. Every Single Night - Computer Games

HIGHLY RECOMMEND this EP because it’s so amazing and Darren and his brother did a great job on it! Definitely one of my all time favorite EP’s.

91. Lost Boys Life - Voice Memo - Computer Games

92. I Dreamed A Dream - Darren Criss

93. Baby, It’s Cold Outside (Glee Cast Version) - Glee Cast

94. When I Get You Alone (Glee Cast Version) - Glee Cast

95. Silly Love Songs (Glee Cast Version) - Glee Cast

96. Do Ya Think I’m Sexy? (Glee Cast Version) - Glee Cast

I’m still bitter this song was cut from the episode.

97. Something’s Coming (Glee Cast Version) - Glee Cast

98. Love Shack (Glee Cast Version) - Glee Cast

99. Cough Syrup (Glee Cast Version) - Glee Cast

100. Wanna Be Startin’ Somethin’ (Glee Cast Version) - Glee Cast

Darren Criss singing Michael Jackson.... I’m down. Always.

101. Beauty School Dropout (Glee Cast Version) - Glee Cast

102. Heroes (Glee Cast Version) - Glee Cast

103. No Scrubs (Glee Cast Version) - Glee Cast

104. Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go (Glee Cast Version) - Glee Cast

Darren and Chord’s vocals on this track were so good.

105. Broadway Baby (Glee Cast Version) - Glee Cast

106. Mess - Jordan Fisher

I’m so happy Jordan won DWTS!! He did so amazing with Lindsay.

107. Small Cuts - The Brobecks

108. A Little Less Sixteen Candles, A Little More “Touch Me” - Fall Out Boy

109. Happily Ever After - Jordan Fisher, Angie Keilhauer

110. Why - Mark Ballas

111. Ignorance - Paramore

112. Choke - I DON’T HOW BUT THEY FOUND ME

I’m so sad that Dallon left Panic but I’m so excited for his new music! All of his music has been great and I’m super excited to see what he has in store for us!

SO THAT’S IT! If you managed to get to the end of this list, props to you. See you next year for another list. Until then, enjoy all of my reposts of panic, glee and whatever else I’m obsessed with and the occasional actual post from me.

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carrotandstickpodcast-blog · 6 years

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Survey Results Ep. 109

Lizzy / Week 9 / Challenge: Calendar Stickers

1. How many words did you write this week?

Four pages of script! Around 800 words.

2. What did you write or work on?

I finished issue one of my graphic novel script! And successfully revised the scene I dread changing.

3. Was the challenge a success?

Yes! I definitely wrote more frequently. It both provided motivation when I felt too busy/tired to write, and was just a nice little reward if I wrote that day without thinking about the sticker until later. I really can’t see how you lose with this method, though I do wonder if the stickers fall short for brainstorming or more abstract writing. I think it’s great if you’re working toward a concrete goal.

4. Did anything about the challenge surprise you?

Not really, but I have used a similar method in the past to motivate myself to exercise (a giant colorful checkmark for going to the gym, for example).

I’ve also used a similar method where I write the date and what I accomplished related to writing on that date, with the goal of writing something down every day. I think I might like my own method more, but this was such a good visual that was impossible to ignore.

Will you do it in the future?

5. What distracted you from your writing this week?

I’m so torn about if I should be querying agents right now. Those concrete goals I mentioned? I like those. I want one of those.

6. What helped you write this week or inspired you?

IT FEELS SO GOOD TO FINISH A THING. And over ramen I asked Ben if I should query agents and he was like DO IT and so now I feel motivated. Yay husband support.

7. List your goals for next week:

I want to keep up the momentum of doing a little writing every day! Next week will probably be a lot of brainstorming and outlining.

Hazel / Week 9 / Challenge: Calendar Stickers

1. How many words did you write this week?

141. (Not my strongest week.)

2. What did you write or work on?

Original work.

3. Was the challenge a success?

Not at all. I ended up just writing one sentence right before bed to justify the sticker, which made the stickers feel worthless. Those might end up being useful sentences in the future, but on a week like this one, it just felt like I was stretching myself so I didn’t have to deal with the guilt of no sticker.

4. Did anything about the challenge surprise you?

I opened up my sticker folder and I found a bunch of cute stickers that I forgot I had. Does that count? Also, nobody sells 2017 desk calendars in October.

5. What distracted you from your writing this week?

Work stress. Attending and planning parties/events. THREE IN ONE WEEK! Save my poor introverted soul.

6. What helped you write this week or inspired you?

While editing last week’s episode, Lizzy said something that sounded like “I’m going back to the queer trenches” and I lol’d because yeah, same. (She actually said “query trenches.”)

7. List your goals for next week:

Honestly I think I want to prioritize emotional/mental health next week, so my goal is to HAVE FUN with my writing.

#carrotandstick #carrotandstickpodcast #podcast #writing podcast #writing #writing challenge #writing community #amwriting #writers of tumblr #writers #calendar sticker #calendar #writing exercise #survey results

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bobbystompy · 7 years

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My Top 132 Songs Of 2016

Previously: 2015, 2014, 2013, 2012, 2011

Haven’t started writing this yet, but after peaking at 73 songs in 2013, then dipping to 67 and 71 the last two years, it is unbelievable we hit 132 (blame Spotify’s easy ability to save music and create playlists).

I debated skipping around, but nahhh, let’s get it.

As always, the criteria/info:

This is a list of songs I personally like, not ones I’m saying are the “best” from the year; more subjective than objective

No artist is featured more than once

If it comes down to choosing between two songs for an artist, I try to give more weight to a single or featured track; it’s not the ultimate factor, but it typically makes sharing the music easier

Speaking of... each song on the list is linked in the title if you wanna check out some for yourself

BOBBY VS. THE SONGS, FID

132) Kendrick Lamar - “untitled 07 | levitate”

Yeah, not gonna do the thing everyone else is doing where we pretend Kendrick is making amazing music with 2016′s throwaway release. I had to trudge through so much weird-and-not-fun stuff on “Butterfly” last year; it’s time to be done with it. Kendrick is obviously a top flight MC and could end up as an all-time great, but, like, come on -- this is from an EP of b-sides, it’s (probably) the best song... and it’s still not that memorable. How this record is ended up on so many year end best of lists mystified me.

131) Young Thug - “Drippin'”

Thugger spazzin’ around.

130) 2 Chainz f/ Lil Wayne - “Gotta Lotta”

Eh, this song’s aight; beat good, kinda sticks with you sometimes. Funny it should be listed as “2 Chainz & Lil Wayne” -- peep the very creative album art -- yet ended up as a 2 Chainz solo feature (on technicality alone) due to Weezy’s ongoing label issues. These two play off each other well.

129) Real Friends - “Mokena”

This song is good, but it’s... a little too angst-y at points.

128) Iggy Pop - “American Valhalla”

The best compliment I can give this song is it sounds unlike anything I’ve ever heard. Not a fun listen every time, but if you consciously immerse, it can definitely work.

127) The Avett Brothers - “Ain't No Man”

Good mom song; feels like fun. passed the torch with this one.

126) Paul Simon - “Horace And Pete”

Louis C.K. got Simon to write a theme song for his dramedy “Horace and Pete”, and the diminutive one came through in spades. I sometimes like to shoehorn in the f-word when singing along to help break up some of the seriousness. But yeah, this feels like a ‘60s classic even though it’s essentially brand new.

125) Frank Ocean - “Nikes”

The A.V. Club summed up my opinion of the Frank Ocean record with one swift line: “On first listen, Blonde feels like a Cracker Jack box with no toy in it.”

Amen.

Don’t get it twisted: I love Frank, still believe in Frank, and of course consider “channel ORANGE” to (objectively) be one of the greatest albums of this generation, but “Blonde”? It didn’t connect. Somewhat reluctantly, I picked this song for the list because it was the first one I heard, and it stands as a symbol of the initial hope which faded over a few listens. But when Ocean breaks in after all the high pitched singing, it does feel like a moment.

Also, this line will always stick: “RIP Pimp C / RIP Trayvon, that n**** look just like me”.

124) DJ Khaled f/ Jay-Z & Future - “I Got The Keys”

DJ Khaled is a talentless jackass, annoyingly ad libbing his way into our brains. Unfortunately, my personal favorite artist chooses to make listenable songs with him. Alas, No. 124. Jay slaying with “My wife Beyoncé, I brag different”. Future... being Future.

123) Slim Thug - “King”

The always underrated Slim Thug, hangin’ out and tellin’ you about his life. Also lifting weights. Minus points for using the Pimp C sample Jigga used in “FuckWithMeYouKnowIGotIt” only three years ago.

122) American Football - “Give Me The Gun”

This band will never hit for me as much as it does with cool/laid back guitar people, but I enjoyed this tune. And I wish my friend Luke were here to listen with me.

121) Craig Finn - “Screenwriters School”

Craig Finn, as slow and chill as you’ll ever hear him.

120) Mikey Erg - “1001 Smashed Motel Rooms”

Solid verses, big chorus, and you can almost, like, tell he’s bald by the voice (not an insult).

119) Cassadee Pope - “Summer”

The former Hey Monday singer goes in on the strongest season.

118) The Cool Kids - “Connect 4″

It’s very difficult to write about The Cool Kids without using the word “cool”, but man, these guys have such a great interplay. It’s not two separate dudes taking turns; it’s a glorious intertwine with true chemistry.

117) Third Eye Blind - “Cop vs. Phone Girl"

This is our first song I’d call an imperative listen. I say this because you need you to hear Stephan Jenkins sing “Why's it so hard to say ‘Black Lives Matter’? / Doesn't mean that you're anti-white / Take it from me, I'm super fucking white”.

He remains bulletproof.

116) Wakrat - “Sober Addiction”

I was positive this song was a jam after one listen, but I’ve listened 3-4 times since, and it’s gotten progressively worse each time. If that’s not enough of a hook, the singer is the Rage Against The Machine bassist.

115) Owl Meet Rabbit - “This Side Of The Nut House”

A Christmas song with a “National Lampoon” reference.

114) YG f/ Drake & Kamaiyah - “Why You Always Hatin?”

Still a little unclear why Drake keeps agreeing to be in YG songs. His verse references sliding into DMs.

113) Yo Gotti f/ Nicki Minaj - “Down In The DM (Remix)”

...and we also have a track titled after it. My biggest memory with this song will be feeling sick in an Uber from Chicago to Forest Park on, like, a weekday morning but still mustering the nerve to laugh at the chorus, which is egregious enough before the “bridge” of “Snapchat me that pussy, if it’s cool”. Seriously. RIP, music.

112) The Dirty Nil - “Zombie Eyed”

This rips.

111) Microwave - “Homebody”

A good song that pulls you in further when the distortion gets bigger in the chorus.

110) AJJ - “Terrifyer”

Some days, you're a member of Queen Other days, you're a Kottonmouth King Some days, you're Emilio Estevez Other days, you're Charlie Sheen

109) Band of Horses - “Casual Party”

These guys are all smooth harmonies.

108) Fitz and the Tantrums - “HandClap”

This song is pretty unoffensive, but it’s catchy enough to work.

107) Nothing - “The Dead Are Dumb”

“The Dead Are Dumb” -or- if the “Twin Peaks” theme actually went somewhere.

106) Car Seat Headrest - “Unforgiving Girl (She's Not An)”

This band kinda reminds me of The Strokes; just a liiiiiitle less New York street and a tad more indie.

105) Vince Staples f/ Kilo Kish - “Loco”

Vince got into the news this year after defending the mom who had an extreme distaste for his lyrics in 2015′s “Norf Norf”. Let’s just say she also would not enjoy this one. His interplay with Kilo is on point.

104) GTA f/ Vince Staples - “Little Bit of This”

‘ey, it’s Vince again, and this one is stronger; somehow topping the high energy of “Loco” with another level of fire-spitting.

103) The Living End - “Monkey”

The Aussies broke a 13 year album hiatus with 2016′s “Shift”, and “Monkey”, one of the lead singles, did not disappoint. There will always be a place for songwriting like this.

102) Vic Mensa - “16 Shots”

This song is so raw and street and real. Sometimes you hear something, and it just cuts like a knife. I’m talking a “Straight Outta Compton” level here. Mensa has thoughts on police brutality in Chicago, and he ain’t holding back. He played this live on Kimmel, and his solemn-yet-wired energy could not be ignored.

101) Boyd & The Stahfools - “Summerly”

Some might say BATS sold out with this very commercial ode to Pollyanna’s raspberry wheat ale, but when you consume as much of it as those boys do, I say it’s legit art.

100) Macklemore & RL f/ J. Woods - “White Privelege II”

This is kinda like the Third Eye Blind message on Black Lives Matter, only the exact opposite. It’s... quite heavy handed, and while I like that from Macklemore, I realize a lot do not. All I can say in his defense is, like, man, it really seems like this dude is trying, and he certainly attempted to involve the right people. If that’s not good enough for you, I get it.

(Plus, he kinda digs on Iggy; throwing y’all a bone, just take it.)

99) Conor Oberst - “A Little Uncanny”

Oberst sounds a ton like Bob Dylan in this one, but he also sounds a ton like Oberst. It’s kinda like two massive folk tidal waves crashing into each other.

98) Cymbals Eat Guitars - “Have A Heart”

CEG -- despite a terrific name -- have always made music that felt obtuse, but this is the first song that felt ready-made to, like, give normal people a window to check out the band.

97) Green Day- “Bang Bang”

Everyone wants to over-analyze Green Day. But if you don’t do that, you’ll enjoy this as a fast and easy pop-punk song. It plays at my gym sometimes, and I always kinda assume people are annoyed by it. To quote Josh from “Heavyweights”, this pleases me.

96) James Vincent McMorrow - “Get Low”

Chill/cool.

95) The Flatliners - “Hang My Head”

This won’t end up in their all-time Top 5, but it’s a good song, and it was nice to hear from this band in 2016.

94) AFI - “Snow Cats”

This would sound right at home as a mid-tempo number on “Sing The Sorrow”.

93) Jay Electronica - “#TBE The Curse Of Mayweather”

Oof, what a shitty title. So, this is Jay Elect’s “blast back” at Kendrick Lamar after K-Dot slaughtered the rap game (and shit, maybe rap itself) in 2013′s “Control”. But here’s the thing... “Control” was “Control”. No one is topping “Control”. No one is successfully going at “Control”. That’s in its own stratosphere. Was it fun to see the enigmatic MC try? Sure. Did it make any type of impact? Eh, no. But I did enjoy the fake Kendrick voice.

92) The Dyes - “Loudmouth”

Out of every song so far, I’ve found this the toughest to write about. My favorite part is probably the way the guitar and bass play off each other, but my second favorite part has to be how sinister and swaggery it sounds.

91) Big Sean - “Get My Shit Together”

Maaaan, I missed Big Sean in 2016 after an extremely fruitful 2015. The few times he did surface -- on other people’s songs -- he stayed in form, so you’ll see more of him as this goes.

It feel like young Ray Allen with the white twins

90) Emeli Sandé f/ Jay Electronica & Áine Zion - “Garden”

Serene, with a fitting Jay Elect verse.

89) Yumi Zouma - “Haji Awali”

Chiller than a Coleman.

88) Jimmy Eat World - “Get Right”

We’ve talked about this before, but JEW typically have sunny day feel good songs, or nighttime darkness-type songs; this one’s the latter.

87) Into It. Over It. - “No EQ”

Sooooo good; melodic and percussive and soulful. It tugs at your heart just the right amount.

86) The Front Bottoms - “Joanie”

This really, really sounds like a Front Bottoms song, which I mostly mean as a compliment but also... am slightly worried about as it pertains to future material.

85) The Lumineers - “Ophelia”

Would I like to steal this song and give it to a girl and say I wrote it to mega impress her? Uh, duh. Piano for dayz.

84) Viola Beach - “Swings & Waterslides”

Kinda a lighter version of the Arctic Monkeys; mostly the singing... but in a big way.

83) The Game - “92 Bars”

It’s sposta be a Meek Mill diss, but it’s basically Game freestyling about a buncha stuff over a workable beat. Some real solid lines, too. My favorites:

- “I can kill you in four bars, that's a Kit Kat”

- “Let me tell you who suck, like banana Now and Laters” (haha)

- “Give me Left Eye back, take Fetty Wap and the Raiders”

- “Gum by them Yeezys, I'm the 6'5" Eazy” (MVP bar?)

- “This the Golden State and my shooters ain't on no hoop shit” (coooold)

82) OMI - “Hula Hoop”

I’mma give the write up here to my girl Alyssa Pawola, via her husband, Jeff Pawola (who watched the video after she was told the song reminded me of him):

She agreed with you!

She says it's because the singer dances similar to me and is a little goofy (compliment?), whereas all the girls around him are really good dancers (thus, her).

81) Joey Purp f/ Chance The Rapper - “Girls @”

If you’re not all-in on this song by the seven or eight second mark, then you can probably pass. HOWEVA, Chance and his 3 hat appear later on, so we call that incentive, young Bucky.

80) Vinnie Caruana - “I Don’t Believe You”

The feels like a last-song-on-the-record kinda track.

/looks up if it was the last song on the record

...8 of 10!

(Close enough.)

79) No Lenox - “Leave”

This song is heart and blood, with a rare use of “fucking” from Chris Trott.

78) JANK - “Versace Summer”

JANK is interesting. All of their artwork and motif make them seem like stoners (and maybe they are), but the music itself is so technical and synced. Like, you know they’re trying and very capable. So as weird as seeing “Versace” next to “JANK” might look, maybe it’s this high end brand that truly does fit their sound over, say, Faygo. But yeah, by the time this song is done, even though they’ve played the chorus a handful of times, you probably wouldn’t mind a handful more.

77) White Lung - “Dead Weight”

This band is just the coolest shit. They always go so, so hard, but this time, there’s a guitar playing mega bad ass leads to help even things out. I would believe you if you told me the guitar was also shooting lasers.

76) Descendents - “Without Love”

Like The Living End, the Descendents have also been out of the ‘releasing new records’ game for over a decade. And as jokey of a band as they’ve been in the past, this song has some of the same earnestness and vulnerability we heard on 2004′s “Cool To Be You”.

75) Andrew Bird - “Roma Fade”

For sure a candidate for coolest song title of 2016.

74) LVL UP - “Hidden Driver”

This is too indie for its own good.

73) A$AP Ferg f/ Big Sean - “World Is Mine”

Mostly included for Sean. Sorry, Ferg -- but you did give him the hook and a verse.

72) AM Taxi - “Enough To Feel Like Enough”

Like The Front Bottoms song from earlier, this AM Taxi song is very AM Taxi. But I ain’t ever worried about AM Taxi.

71) Rozwell Kid - “Baby’s First Sideburns”

Not sure I’ve ever heard a weak song by this band.

70) PARTYNEXTDOOR f/ Drake - “Come And See Me”

If you wanted to upset your love interest in 2016, hitting him or her with the “I hear you talkin' 'bout ‘we’ a lot, oh, you speak French now?” line was probably a good place to start.

69) Tancred - “Bed Case”

Kinda ‘90s, right? Nice.

68) Thrice - “Blood On The Sand”

Moderate take alert: I purport the Thrice singer sounds like Dave Grohl in this song, particularly during the chorus. Come at me with your agrees or disagrees.

67) MakeWar - “Ode”

The dude on this band’s album cover always reminds me of Rafa Nadal, which is weird, as I’d argue he looks -20% like Rafa Nadal. This song has a downcast energy. I think I wanna see these dudes live.

66) PKEW PKEW PKEW - “Asshole Pandemic”

Party punk, wooooo. You will not find a more circular 2016 lyric than “Why’s this fuckin’ dick gotta be such a cock?”

65) Adam Friedman f/ Mike Posner - “Lemonade”

blue eyes >>> brown eyes, Adam.

64) Matt and Kim - “Let’s Run Away”

As always-always-always, Matt and Kim are having more fun than we are.

63) Ariana Grande f/ Nicki Minaj - “Side To Side”

As recently as 40 days ago, I was emaling my friends about this track with the very loaded “I’m not sure this song is good at all”.

My buddy Brian’s response will probably jar you like it jarred me:

Gotta say, I have a soft spot for this song. I think the beat is pretty banging and the subject matter is a plus. Like, we do have to acknowledge that she's walking side to side because she's been having sex with dude all night and day and now her vagina is too sore to walk like a regular person. I can dig that.

Well then.

62) With You. f/ Vince Staples - “Ghost”

Weird music video, but definitely my favorite version of Vince that we got in 2016.

61) Fifth Harmony f/ Ty Dolla $ign - “Work From Home”

I was listening to this song with my girlfriend the other day, and I said something like “This song could really use a rap cameo”. Enter: the very forgettable Ty Dolla $ign. Still, a fun, sexty song. Also, I believe this is our first -- and only? -- song to have over one billion YouTube views (!!!).

60) Masked Intruder - “If Only”

This made it over other MI candidates due to the Winnie Cooper reference.

59) Fat Joe, Remy Ma, Jay-Z f/ French Montana & Infared - “All The Way Up (Remix)”

An easy chorus for sports teams to co-opt, as well as a “fuck off me” Jay verse. He bucks “Lemonade”, ups his products for the infinite time, and drops the mic after:

The OG's say, "Hov, how high is high enough?" I said "'till we eye and eye with the higher ups" Until we let 'em know, we ain't those n****s Until our baby's showered in gold, n**** Blue looking like Pac in the tub David LaChapelle levels of not giving a fuck Prince left his masters where they safe and sound We never gonna let the elevator take him down

Man.

Worry not, cockroach French is around to muck things up. It’s salvaged by a real dope Remy Ma verse, though.

58) Al Scorch - “Everybody Out”

The perfect soundtrack for escaping a busted speakeasy.

57) Tegan and Sara - “Dying To Know”

This song makes the list because the “Boyfriend” chorus was lazy as hell; it was like the “Closer” chorus, version 2.0. Conversely, “Dying To Know” has real emotion and a big, legit chorus.

56) Bloc Party - “The Good News”

A song I fear no one will like but me... but hey, my list.

55) New Lenox - “It’s Its Own Thing”

This is a song I wrote (and drummed on) about how winter sucks. It’s also about Chicago, being alone, finding someone, and using Banner Pilot to get through tough, frozen times. Shout out to Dave Rokos for singing the majority of the leads and Chris Trott for producing.

54) Julien Baker - “Photobooth”

I became enamored with the voice and talent of 21-year-old phenom Julien Baker throughout 2016, and though she released her debut album in 2015 (ALL TRACKS DISQUALIFIED, CHICA), she did drop this Death Cab cover for The A.V. Club this year, so I found a way to get her in the door. Now that we’re all here, I’ll give the floor to Deadspin’s Tom Ley:

What I did not expect was to like this version of the song so much that I now become visibly disgusted when I try to go back and listen to the original. Like all the good, thoughtful teens of my era, I spent a lot of time listening to Death Cab in my car, and I used to nod along pleasantly when “Photobooth” came on. But now I’m just angry I ever wasted any time listening to a lesser version of the song. In my opinion, Death Cab should just turn their entire catalog over to Julien Baker and be done with it.

Ironically, I will be seeing Baker open up for Death Cab singer Ben Gibbard later this January.

53) Desiigner - “Panda”

This is a bad song... but it’s incredibly listenable (for about 30 seconds, only it keeps going for a normal amount of time). It got upped on Kanye’s album, which likely sparked public interest in this mumble rap disaster. Literally the best thing you can say is it’s a Future rip off -- and he’s not all that great to begin with.

/sadly looks up YouTube view total

190 million; Fifth Harmony is like “pshhhh”.

Yet, “Panda” somehow endures. It feels fresh, saying “panda” repatedly never seems to tire, and it burned down the dance floor at Brian Pawola’s wedding this summer; old and young alike wanted to be pandas.

Now is also probably a good time to disclose my Halloween costume...

52) Cloud Nothings - “Modern Act”

Me, blogging about my excitement for the new Cloud Nothings album that drops in three weeks.

51) A Tribe Called Quest f/ André 3000 - “Kids” (no link)

Welcome back.

50) Run The Jewels - “Talk To Me”

Haven’t listened to RTJ3, but it’s only been out for, like, 10 days. Still, this song is as reliably dope as they’ve always been. I also felt compelled to include ATCQ and RTJ in these spots to ensure they were not above “Panda”.

Brave men didn't die face down in the Vietnam muck so I could not style on you

49) Kevin Devine - “No History”

My aforementioned buddy Dave Rokos likes this song because of its big chorus, and I’d also like to use it as a selling point.

48) Kings Of Leon - “Reverend”

For as big as Kings Of Leon are, I haven’t really heard this song anywhere.

47) Rae Sremmurd f/ Gucci Mane - “Black Beatles”

I always thought Rae Sremmurd were kinda meh (at best) and Gucci Mane was an idiot’s idiot (at absolute best), but this song’s a banger -- and this conclusion was reached prior to it going viral with the Mannequin Challenges. Speaking of... my 2016 Black Wednesday:

A video posted by Bobby L (@bobbystompy) on Nov 23, 2016 at 7:15pm PST

46) Grimes - “Kill V. Maim”

This song is straight out of a video game or action movie. Like, get ready to fight a boss or something.

45) Dave Hause - “With You”

Heartfelt ballad that feels sprawled out across a few genres.

44) Robin Thicke f/ Nas - “Deep”

What do we get when we combine a dude with no credibility and feature a dude with tons of credibility? A sneaky sizzling collab. And if you still got beef, remember: it ain’t that deep.

43) Against Me! - “Rebecca”

A lot of people have had this AM! song on their year end lists, and I wasn’t seeing it, but after a few extra spins, it became pretty clear this was thee highlight from the album. It’s got this kinetic energy, spinning out of control while somehow maintaining perfect balance.

42) Restorations - “See”

Restorations make spectrum songs; ones you listen to while the world moves in slow motion at an airport reunion, while time stops after a death, or stretches out on an overly contemplative Sunday evening. What I’m saying is, these dudes control the clocks.

41) Aaron West and the Roaring Twenties - “Green Like The G Train, Green Like Sea Foam”

Soupy from The Wonder Years’ solo project keeps -- PUN INTENDED -- chuggin’ along with this one. He’s singing in the same gear he always sings in, but the chorus and always trusty synced rhythms that break it in two definitely get me goin’.

40) Titus Andronicus - “No Future”

Titus Andronicus covering Craig Finn, and they add just the right amount of anguish to the proceedings. There’s such an obvious-yet-still-clever element to the “February’s about as long as it is wide” line.

39) Rihanna - “Needed Me” (NSFW-ish video)

This song is good -- Mustard on the beat, natch -- but RiRi murdering a dude in the back of a strip club in the video might be better.

38) Jeff Rosenstock - “Festival Song”

The former Bomb the Music Industry! singer dipped his toe in a few genres throughout his 2016 album “Worry”, though I’m not sure how to describe this one; it’s kind of spastic punk with some synthy keyboards and a catchy outro, strong enough to throw two capable haymakers as the song enters its final minute.

37) The Steve Adamyk Band f/ Colleen Green - “Carry On”

I hadn’t even heard of this band a month ago, but “Carry On” has quickly become a favorite; toe-tappin' rock.

36) The Naked And Famous - “Higher”

This band seems like they’d have -- there is no better word I’m so sorry -- epic concerts. Also, don’t miss out on the “In The Air Tonight”-sounding fills.

35) Phantogram - “You Don’t Get Me High Anymore”

Brilliant drum samples, drug stuff, and a pop sensibility; you seriously could not ask for more.

34) Child Bite - “Vermin Mentality”

This song is quite harsh, and I imagine if you had individual approval ratings for all 132 of these songs, it would very easily finish in the bottom five. That said, I think it rocks, and it reminds me of the Dead Kennedys’ best scenario.

33) Joyce Manor - “Last You’ve Heard Of Me”

Sure, I reacted like a mom when I saw Barry’s new neck tattoo in the video, but the song was the redeemer. Recommended if you like the Everclear “Santa Monica” intro, marijuana makes you tired, or you’ve found love in the parking lot outside a karaoke bar.

32) Cassino - “Alabama Song”

If you did happen to listen to “Vermin Mentality”, this’ll probably be the song to get that taste out of your mouth. I love its overall laid back vibe, even if what it’s about remains unclear after a good chunk of listens.

31) Direct Hit! - “Was It The Acid?”

This one lost several punk points after the singer revealed he did not use hard drugs. But still.

30) Bayside - “Pretty Vacant”

My buddy Brian Pawola doesn’t like this song because of the teenage-y “I can’t believe this is my life, I’m pretty vacant all the time” chorus, but that’s precisely why I do. Also, apparently the album it’s off of is called “Vacancy”, haha.

29) PUP - “Familiar Patterns”

Feels weird not picking a single, but this one was always my favorite; the same percussive power, shreddy singing, and unrelenting noise we got in their debut a few years ago. Also funny: they named their 2016 album “The Dream Is Over”, which is what the PUP singer’s doctor told him after diagnosing his vocal chord ailment.

28) Tokyo Police Club - “Not My Girl”

Sometimes, I wanna tell non-punk fans TPC is what all punk rock sounds like, because even though the band has more of a pop-indie element, they do seem like the genre’s best case scenario more often than not.

27) The Falcon - “If Dave Did It”

Feels like sacrilege picking a Dave Hause fronted track for my Falcon choice. After all, this is Brendan Kelly’s group, and after an EP and two full lengths, it’s Dave’s first ever time fronting a song in the band. But this song kept standing out. It also has a small drum solo, and even though basically all drum solos are bad, Neil Hennessy’s on the kit -- so you know you’re in good hands.

26) Chance The Rapper f/ 2 Chainz & Lil Wayne - “No Problem”

Chance’s “Coloring Book” was so positive and creative and multi-faceted that it feels a little wrong to pick a song that’s more traditional rap with typical guests, but it really is the best song, you know? For whatever reason, Lil Wayne’s nonchalant verse was my favorite, with his initial bars being the highlight:

I got problems bigger than these boys My deposits, they be on steroids Lord, free the Carter, n****s need the Carter Sacrificin' everything, I feel like Jesus Carter

But sure, we can also highlight funny 2 Chainz things:

- “Inside of the Maybach look like it came out of Ikea / Run shit like diarrhea” (oh my god)

- “Aye, aye, captain / I'm high, captain / I'm so high / Me and God dappin'” (haha)

Also, if you don’t raise-and-drop your arms for the “huh! huh!” part before the beat kicks in at the beginning after “lobby”, you’re a monster.

youtube

25) David Rokos - “Pacific Time”

Falling in lust with a California girl who has the keys to bomb ass hotel room overlooking the ocean? What self-deprecating heterosexual dude isn’t signing up for this?

24) NOFX - “Six Years On Dope”

Thrash punk, with Fat Mike and Eric Melvin divvying up the vocals after arguing to start the song. Here’s the July 2016 description I emailed to the gf:

So, the lead singer has kind of a flat, annoying voice, but then there's this guitarist who mostly does yell parts and not a lot of leads, but in this song, they both basically trade off yelling, and the guitar is blaring, and it just does not relent. They've released a million records at this point, but something about it feels so fresh. Like new blood has been infused into all of them.