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kitorin · 1 year

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boyfriend headcanons ! itoshi rin

contents. how you met, how you got to know each other, when he realized he liked you, how you started dating, dates, all fluff

warning. rin backstory spoilers, i can't write kiss scenes either, written with all lowercase intended, it's word vomit bc school has screwed me up mentally and i can't think properly atp lmao

a/n. reo, rensuke and yoichi ver coming soon, was supposed to be all four of them but tumblr didn't save some stuff so i lost motivation and i probably wrote too much for rin anyways

how you met

you were invited to hang out with a group of friends, but ended up hating it since you were basically invisible, since everyone else were talking about a common interest you didn't have

you ended up walking away, finding somewhere actually interesting, and found a muji store (minimalist retailer that sells a lot of household items and more), and had your own fun, looking through stationary, skin care, nice clothes, and more.

you were having a great time until you heard someone from the hangout looking for you and calling

rin who notices your panic right next to him, questions what's wrong (not necessarily out of concern, honestly probably because he may have found it slightly irritating)

after you explain your situation briefly, he nods and finds you somewhere to hide, and goes to deal with your friend

he's got perfect control over his facial expressions, he'd easily lie and even if your friend was persistent, he'd still scare him away

"haven't seen them in here, they left a while ago and you better stop yelling,"

"are you sure-?"

"yes. now piss off and stop disturbing everyone here,"

once he's sure your friend's gone, he goes back to where he instructed you to hide, giving you the clear

"i hope that lukewarm asshole wasn't your ex."

you're slightly amused at the word 'lukewarm' it wasn't a typical description you'd hear often. "nope, i'd never date him. thank you so much though. i really appreciate it, please let me do a favor for you"

before he can object, you grab a sample pen, scrawling your number on his hand, "send me a text and i'll do my best to help you with anything okay?" you send him a smile as his eyes widen in shock, "bye kind stranger, have a great day," and before he could respond, you were gone, rushing out the store out of embarrassment for not being able to slip away from your friend uncaught.

how he got to know you

[unknown number] : i really don't need a favor you know?

i hated that idiot anyways, loud and annoying

[you] : don't careeee, i want to make it up to you somehow, please?

i'm y/n, you?

[unknown number] : rin, itoshi rin

after he gave in to your offer, you ended up tutoring him, he didn't care about grades but his high school had a rule of requiring a certain standard of grades to compete in tournaments

turns out he wasn't even a bad student, he's diligent and consistent, he only needed a little bit of guidance and advice, with math being the exception

in between sessions, during breaks and outside of your tuition you'd talk a lot, considering how rin has no friends ("neither do you, your toxic ass friends shouldn't count" he replies when you realize it) and you're patient enough to deal with his personality

even after he has his grades up you still hangout with each other, watching horror movies, playing horror games, reading horror novels / comics (you introduced him to junji ito), and he'd even teach you some soccer when you visit his training. he also tries out all your hobbies and favourite things to do and eat

you two spend so much time together, simply because one has no other friends and the other has no healthy friendships

how he knew he liked you

BRO WAS IN DENIAL. FOR. SO. FUCKING. LONG.

he thought he had a health problem or fever when he felt his face getting hot, or that odd sensation in his stomach, or his heart relentlessly pounding against his chest

he tries to research it, doesn't believe it when he sees all those love related posts, so he literally goes to a doctor

his doctor probably almost instantly realized, and had to deal with rin's denial

"you experience these 'symptoms' with a certain someone, don't you?" the doctor doesn't even bother with noting down anything, he's 100% sure and knows it's perfectly in character for rin to do something like this

"that's not possible- that doesn't make se-," he pauses, and recalls that he only felt that way when it came to you, "... yes," he's sort of bashful, slightly embarrassed but quickly composes himself again. 'i apologise for doubting you, please continue,"

"no worries," with a grin, his doctor prepared leave and meet his next patient, "i diagnose you with love sickness,"

when i tell you, this man fucking asked him what meds to take and what to do as self treatment

his poor doctor mentally face palmed himself, sat himself back down and had a (long) talk with this emotionally repressed boy

rin still insists it's something medically wrong, but he's soon shoo-ed out of the office, while hastily being told to make sure he's honest with his feelings, otherwise it never goes right

back at home, he's lying in bed, revising what his doctor said

"rin you need to learn how to acknowledge your emotions. i understand they're confusing and i'm not a therapist, but you can't keep denying it. it's just as unhealthy to neglect your emotions as it is to ignore an injury,"

...

denial huh?

he thinks of you and his heart once again can't calm down, his face burns and his stomach is doing somersaults. he buries his face in his palm, groaning. he hated anything unfamiliar, anything that he couldn't navigate with confidence, or fully comprehend.

"do you really despise it? or do you refuse to acknowledge your feelings because you've never experienced something like this,"

his doctor's advice comes back to him, and he thinks.

if he truly loathed how you made him feel, why is he still hanging out with you, why is he still investing his time into you, why do you make him so damn happy?

he passed out eventually completely lost in thought

how you ended up dating

some time passes and you finally have the courage to confess to him only to receive a cold "i don't feel the same way," a complete lie

accepting his emotions was one thing, accepting a relationship is another. he could immediately feel regret clawing at his stomach, he wanted to tell you. badly, how much he likes you, your patience, intelligence, your kindness, literally everything

yet nothing comes out. only his stoic and stupid facade's character

you walk away after mumbling out an apology for making things awkward, and rin's left there standing, finger nails digging crescents of frustration into his palm

he's overwhelmed with his thoughts, some insisting for him to give up and accept that he fucked up, others demanding him to move and fix things

what would be worse than losing you, anyways?

and that last thought was the final push, he's basically sprinting towards you, soon his arms are wrapped around you, releasing a gasp of surprise from you.

"ri-?"

"i lied," rin blurts, internally screaming at himself to just say it, "i lied, i know i shouldn't have and i'm sorry. but i like you too much, i can't express or understand my feelings, i don't know anything about relationships or love either, and i wanted to hide how i felt so i wouldn't get hurt,"

"rin-," he doesn't let you finish, ignoring your whisper.

"but i don't care, i like you so much that i'm willing to risk hurting myself, anything's worth it if i can be with you, spend time with you, and love you. if it's for you i'd overcome all my fears of love. i can't afford love, but if it's for you i don't care anymore,"

"you're perfect, you always have been," he concludes his speech, almost breathless from how rushed it was. scarlet was dusted all over his face, teal eyes wide open.

that fact rin, someone who's never been good at communication, went this far to express how he feels for you, warms your heart even more.

"rin?"

"yes?"

"may i kiss you?"

somehow, he blushes even more, and as he nods your lips press together.

dates + other headcanons

MOVIE NIGHTS !! not at cinemas though since he prefers the comfort and privacy of his room, and doesn't like how loud or dirty cinemas can get

doesn't want to force you into anything too scary, but he secretly enjoys it when you end up clinging onto him

since he struggles with articulating his emotions, he likes using playlists and songs to (die for you - weeknd, shinunoga iiwa - fujii kaze, love, maybe - melomance, sweet - cigarettes after sex, COME INSIDE OF MY HEART - IV SPADES SUITS HIM SO WELL)

he's not a fan of pda, yet he wants to show you off to everyone he knows

if you genuinely like soccer and have an interest in it (obviously doesn't want to force you to watch 90 minutes of a sport you don't like) he'd watch his favourite games with you, even books tickets for the both of you if there are any good teams competing nearby

also takes great interest in your sports !! reads a lot about them so he can discuss them with you, and if you also compete in sports he puts together a training routine for you and asks to go to the gym together (say yes dumbass)

SURFINGGGG !! since he grew up in kamakura, he loves the beach and went to swim and surf a lot as a kid and would love to do it again with you, even if he hasn't done it in ten years (same rin, same). same with hiking too (kamakura's also famous for it as well)

visits the store with you where he always bought ice blocks with sae, the same lady who worked there when sae and rin still got around is still there, congratulates him for getting a partner, is proud of him

he's a great listener too, he prefers it over speaking a lot and you can talk to him about anything, whether you're talking shit about someone (he'd join in and start swearing) and or you're hyperfixating on your interests

whenever he gets a question related to his love life he takes a moment to blush when he thinks of you, pauses to compose himself (keeps you a secret for your privacy from the media), then says with a straight face that soccer is a priority, but everyone knows he's lying

©kouyun : do not repost, plagiarize, change, or translate

#itoshi rin #itoshi rin x reader #blue lock x you #blue lock x y/n #blue lock x reader #itoshi rin blue lock #fluff #headcanons #blue lock headcanons #blue lock

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tmntxthings · 5 months

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Ok so, hi! I hope you're doing well! I really really like your blog and was wondering if you're still taking requests? If your not thats completely fine.

but If you are could you please please do a the rise boys with a reader who's like their little sister? i cannot for the lofe of me find very many of these, and I adore them.

Your writting is AMAZING btw! Make sure to eat food, drink water, and get some sleep! <3

Big Brothers

author’s notes: :D am i doing requests still? …yes?! it may not seem like it but I look over them all… just lacking in the motivation department rn, esp with this semester, but booyakasha we ball xD thanks for requesting <3 author's note 2.0: I wrote Raph's part in JANUARY and i finally finally finally had the will power to finish Mikey's tonight, the semester is over yayyyyyyy!! Hopefully my motivation will rejuvenate and I'll be writing way more consistently... hopefully lollll hope you enjoy~~

warnings: none to note, unedited, mayhaps a curse word ?

—————————————————————————

Raph

Where do I begin? He’s always the type to protect those around him. It doesn’t matter whether you’re just a regular citizen or someone he knows and loves, this turtle will protect all! He’s got a big heart.

Much like April you stumbled into the boys life at an early age. Yet unlike her, you were younger than the entire group. As a tot, Raph made sure you were never left behind, hiking you up on his shoulders along with Mikey.

Both of you giggling about the height and saying “look look I’m flyingggg!!” making superhero poses, just the works. Standard oldest brother material. He was still a kid too so there were some accidents, of course you fell off once or twice.

But he was quick to distract you from any boo-boo’s, swooping you back into his arms and snuggling his head close profusely apologizing for getting a little too rowdy. “Don’t cry!! Look Raph’s gotcha! All safe and sound!”

“Does it hurt bad? Let’s go get patched up by Lee hmmm? Raph bet’s he has the prettiest bandaids for you!”

If the group is playing a competitive game, like tag or hide & seek, Raph’s making sure you’re having a fun time. Not feeling left out or being picked on too much. In tag he may run a little slower so you are able to catch him, he would happily be ‘it’ a thousand times if it meant you beamed that mischievous smile. “Tag Raphie!!! Hehehe”

In hide & seek he’ll hide with you or better yet find you the best spots to hide. “Okay Raph’s going hide now too, goodluck and don’t make any noise!!”

As the group grows from tots to teens and the world isn’t as sparkly, and dangers lurk every corner Raph becomes more concerned with your safety. Though there’s not much he can do while your at school, any time you hang out with the bros other than the lab he’s always got a watchful eye.

“Ohhhhh guys look at this!!” Window shopping being one of your favorite past times as they walk the streets of NYC. Raph can’t help but call out for you to “Wait!” or “Watch out!” Something about those sidewalks cracks that always trip you up. And don’t even get Raph started on how many times you’ve bounded ahead of the group only to get lost.

“C’mere you!” Raph’s pulling you close and giving you a noogie. Definitely not caring as you screech about your hair. “What’d I tell ya about running off??” He continues messing with you until you either slip out of his grip or call out mercy. “You had me worried!” He breathed out with a stern look. “Awww Raphie I’m not little anymore!” You teased, but to him you’d always be his little sister. Just like Mikey would never escape being the little brother.

Leo

Oh my lord the trouble you two get into. Pranks? Yeah. Lots of them. The two of you are menaces together, and unlike Leo, you get off the hook with batting your sweet innocent eyelashes. “Whaaaaa Leo told me to!!” And he’d scoff, yelling out traitor as you stuck your tongue when Raph’s back was turned.

Despite always slipping away from punishment, Leo didn’t mind you throwing him under the bus. In fact he was quite impressed with your tactics. One of these days he’d catch you on video being a brat behind Raph’s back! So count your days because they were numbered.

While Leo is down for throwing caution and safety in the wind, if things get serious.. let’s say someone threatening you? Whoever’s spouting such nonsense better run for the hills. He doesn’t deal kindly with those who hurt his family. Especially his little prankster of a sister. “Run that by me again? You said what about my sister??” Fun, silly, charismatic Leo is gone! He’d have a glint in his eyes that scream ‘you’ll pay for that.’

What else?! Though he claims he’s nothing like Raph in regards to being wrapped around your pinky finger, he totally is. “Hey Lee can you portal me to school?? I don’t feel like walking!” He’d complain saying how you’re using his rad powers for such a lazy reason (even though he’s guilty of such a thing) but after he gives you an earful of complaints he’s opening up a portal.

Don’t think he won’t waltz in right after you. Much like those older siblings who love to embarrass their little siblings. Calling after you to “Have a greaaaaaaat day!! Big brother wuvs youuuuuuu!!” And it’s similar if he’s picking you up from school. He’ll portal in with a speaker and blare music, mostly Nicki Minaj.

Donnie

Those little puppy dog eyes you can pull off with Raph have no influence when it comes to Donnie, he has footage of your two-faced nature, having big crocodile tears at one moment and an evil grin at the next, unlike Leo who has never been able to successfully capture you in the act, Donnie has and he lords it over you as blackmail for most things, like a big brother usually does

He only brings it out when absolutely necessary, mainly whenever the two of you are in a back and forth banter that has gone too far, "Oh yeah? I seem to recall a certain purple turtle reading some very interesting fanfiction with Atomic Lass last night!" You puff up satisfied when Donnie gasps at such a true accusation, the utter betrayal! "C'mon guys don't start fighting" Raph will speak up as Donnie whips out his phone going for his passcoded camera roll.

"Oh Raphala I have something to show you!" Donnie will sing as he turns the phone over to reveal the beginning of a video of you and its one that has you immediately screeching. Jumping up from your spot to run and try and tackle Donnie to the floor, but he expects this as his battleshell takes off into the air, putting himself and his phone out of reach. "Turn it off!!! Stop it Dee!!! I never said what exactly you were reading!!" You plead as he swoops and dodges the pillows and really anything you can get your hands on to throw.

So yes, he has the dirt that you would hate Leo to get his hands on so Donnie and you have a bit of an understanding of one another. Other than that though you can find solace in his lab anytime. He doesn't mind your entry because unlike his brothers you don't start touching or breaking things. You treat his inventions carefully and he has fun explaining to you their potentials.

As tots Donnie was definitely quizzing and spitting out random facts to your malleable brain, a lot of it ended up sticking so you understood him to some degree on an academic level, but most of all he had prepared you for school to which you were forever grateful

Now you may not say so in words but with each passing grade you would go down to the lair and find Donnie specifically to show off your assignments, beaming proudly as he would smile and singing his praises about how well he had taught you. He realized that maybe he had taught you too well since you were a master manipulator when it came to tear ducts but he couldn't help but smile at that, proud to have another evil genius in their midst

Mikey

He knew what it was like to be treated like a baby despite being only a few years younger, so it came as no surprise that he would agree with you whenever you wanted to do something adventurous, something on your own, "Guys, she's old enough to go out to the movies with her friends!" Even if he sort of knew your crush would be going as well, Mikey was not going to be the brother to hold you back from falling in love!

Now heaven forbid that little heart of yours gets stomped on. The person who did so will obviously be on some sort of shit-list by all the turtles, but I think Mikey would be the one who has to be watched out for the most, he destroys people who hurts what he loves, that pizza place episode with the rock band is a prime example! He'll turn savage, lunging for violence, striking to enact karma on those who deserve it the most

Of course he will be the best brother to go to if you want to have some deep emotional talks, Dr. Feelings to the rescue, and though it hurts him to know you've been stabbed in the heart, he will be there through the whole break-up process! Cry session with tubs of ice cream or whatever sweets you desire, Mikey's a great cook so baking isn't that hard for him. He will listen to all the rants and raging that you need to get off your chest, adding in quips when necessary. Then when its time to detox fully, delete pictures, unfollow on all social medias, block their number, get rid of the gifts and physical reminders, he's there with a box, repeating how strong you are and that you don't need them nor these things!

Unlike Leo, if you and Mikey wanted something, a pair of puppy-dog eyes was better than one, even Donnie could not hold out for long if the begging was done by both of you at once, "Donnie c'mon pleaseeee set up the switch! We wanna play Mario Party!" "I thought we were gonna be playing Minecraft-" "You guys its easy you don't need me to set it up." "PLEASEEEEE"

And no doubt Mikey is whipping up your favorites in the kitchen. He loves to hear your heartfelt "thank yous!!!" and "Angieeee it's so tasty! 10 out of 10!!" You know exactly how to curry his favor when you go topside and grab him new ingredients to use. That and shooting compliment after compliment his way. Sometimes he will trust you to stir or cut up veggies when he has too many things going on at once in the kitchen. The vibes are immaculate when you get the aux cord to the speaker in the kitchen, the both of you singing out all kinds of music and going into little dance breaks when a song is just too good to not groove to!

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headspace-hotel · 2 years

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You know, I'd be really interested to get your opinion on poem_for_your_sprog in terms of what you've been posting regarding contemporary poetry and the lack of rhyme/formula

I'm DELIGHTED to learn that the "bredlik" poet has matured into a spiritual successor to Shel Silverstein.

This is one of those poets that I'm not going to judge by the "Literary journal" standard because...they're not a literary poet, they're an internet poet that is well known because people have liked what they wrote. It's important to note that my critical words for literary poets partly hinge on the fact that those poems were almost entirely written by people with MFAs or PhDs in creative writing and an editor chose to publish them and print them in a literary journal.

I don't like very many of poem_for_your_sprog's "serious" works, because they are just...a lot less unique and creative and fall for cliche in trying to be "deep," but their "sillier" poems are very creative and delightful:

The Jello poem absolutely would be written by Shel Silverstein.

I think these poems are neat because they're so well adapted to their cultural context. This is a great example of formal poetry that uses the culture and context of the internet:

But I think my favorite is this:

Not only is this a good poem, it's an invaluable historical resource for future historians seeking to understand the the cultural meaning of "bro"

#poetry #poems #writing

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elvenwhovian · 2 years

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Thoughts on the criticisms for The Rings of Power

The negativity around ROP has been so disheartening and I need to rant/have my say. Below are the most common criticisms I've seen and my responses to them.

1. "They butchered/desecrated Tolkien's story! They changed the story too much so I won't watch/ will only hate-watch."

Some of you are too young to remember, but I was there 3000 20 years ago when PJ's films came out. He changed A LOT. And I was surrounded by homeschooler book purists who had a lot to say, both good and bad. Here's my thing ... if you don't like ROP because they changed things, fine. You do you. But don't tell me that PJ's films are perfection if you say you can't handle major changes to Tolkien’s works.

Arwen didn't rescue Frodo. The elves never came to Helms Deep. Faramir didn't take Frodo and Sam captive. And Frodo never sent Sam away before Cirith Ungol, just to name a few. These were SIGNIFICANT changes that PJ made. But they didn't ruin the story ... dare I say, they made things more interesting.

2. "The story moves too slowly."

Bro ... have you read LOTR? Its a slow burn at the start. And then half of TTT is just Frodo and Sam simply walking into Mordor. Just like Tolkien, I feel like the show runners are laying a foundation and then in season 2 things will pick up. Also they have 5 seasons planned. Also its television. Its meant to be in installments to keep you coming back. Honestly, compared to some modern TV, it is refreshing to have a show that is taking its time and not beating you over the head with info dumping and action set pieces every single week. We are back in Middle-earth. Enjoy the ride, my dudes.

3. "The Harfoots are annoying/cheesy/unnecessary."

I'll admit that I was leery about them including proto-hobbits in the show, but I think they are delightful. They have their flaws, but Hobbits always have. They are quirky; the refreshing contrast to the darkness of war just beyond their borders. Yeah, Nori royally screws up A LOT. Reminds me of another hobbit who Gandalf used to berate for his stupidity.

I also saw one comment complaining about "Wandering Day" and that the montage/song was too much like a Disney movie. First of all, how dare you? Do you even Tolkien, good sir? His books were full of songs. The hobbits had walking songs in the book. Tolkien loved songs and poetry. It is very VERY in character for Hobbits to have a song with their storyline. And honestly, that song is perfection. I've been singing it as a lullaby to my 6 month old son and he loves it.

4. "Galadriel is too manly/angry/vengeful ... Also the men are weak."

Perfect people are not interesting. Flaws make characters realistic, engaging, and worth watching. Galadriel is a flawed character in ROP and I LOVE IT. She is prideful, ambitious, and strong-willed ... all stuff Tolkien wrote about her. She is also very athletic/physically skilled. Tolkien also wrote this ... I have references. And yeah ... if you believed the evil who killed your brother was out there and no one believed you, you would be miffed too.

And as I predicted, she is undergoing character development that is helping to temper her vengeance. She literally gives up her sword.

The symbolism is spot on.

Also, those saying she is too manly... bro, what the heck? Her costumes and armor are so beautiful and well done! My two favorite looks are the dress she wears in Numenor and her armor design.

I think they did a fantastic job making her a strong yet flawed female character.

And the men are weak? Elrond and Durin have a rock breaking contest. Arondir fights for his girl ... doesn't get more manly than that. Also, Elendil is just fantastically done and oozes that stable yet compassionate masculine energy Tolkien's male characters are known for.

5."I don’t like that they cast people of color."

Don't be racist. Its 2022.

6. "The elves aren't done right/have short hair/ aren't like PJ's elves."

Ok first of all, while many of the elves in the legendarium are described with long hair, its never defined as a standard for elvish culture. Second, if you are going to expect any and all Tolkien adaptations to conform to PJ's films, then I guess we can toss out all the cartoons that are beloved by so many people. Also, I don't see anyone beating up the legendary painter and Tolkien illustrator Ted Nasmith for his depictions of elves with shorter hair.

Also, let's be real ... Elrond was described as "kind as summer" in The Hobbit. I love Hugo Weaving's portrayal, but he's never seemed particularly warm or kind to me. I adore Elrond's portrayal in ROP! I even like his floppy hair. He's a young whipper-snapper of an elf and he seems like the kind of person who would create a place like Rivendell. I mean ... look at this precious cinnamon roll:

Also Celebrimbor has that wise old British dude energy that reminds me of Bilbo or even the professor himself. Tolkien's elves were complex people with varying personalities and passions. They weren't the stoic, almost vulcan-ish, people PJ made them out to be. I love the PJ films, but if we are going to make them the standard, then I guess the room for creativity is gone(?)

7. "The writing sucks/ is fan fiction."

I'll admit, the writing is rough in a few places. Galadriel jumping ship was kinda dumb. But its not Rise of Skywalker level dumb. And I'll fully admit that this is fan fiction. All television writing based on an IP is fan fiction. Its fiction written by fans/writers based on already established characters/worlds.

And frankly, the term "its fan fiction" is not an insult to me, because I've read some darn good fan fiction. Next argument please.

8. "Its a cash grab from Amazon so we should hate it."

It’s not. Read the article by The Hollywood Reporter. Also, let's remember that lots of passionate people worked on this series and it shows. Punishing them because Amazon's name is on it is unfair. I know, I know ... Amazon is not squeaky clean. But if we boycotted every company who had stains on their record, we would be living in cabins in the woods eating squirrels.

7. “Galadriel couldn’t have survived the volcano/ she does dumb over the top stuff ... this show is not realistic.”

You guys do realize this is a fantasy series, right? Also the way she stood their was so bad@$$.

And yeah, she did this:

You do know that horse acrobatics is a real thing right?

Also, need I remind you this over the top elf:

He did dumber stuff and we loved it. It was cool. If we are going to take the time to pick apart the “unrealistic” story full of wizards, elves, and magic, then we are gonna be here awhile.

In conclusion, there is only one episode left and I can’t wait! Even if the finale is “just ok”, it’s been a blast to be back in Middle-earth and that means a lot to me. If you are not a fan of ROP, that’s fine. You don’t have to watch it. But some of us are really enjoying it and I can’t wait for the next 4 seasons. Be nice.

Rant over :P Thank you for listening.

#rings of power #lord of the rings #rant #this show is dope #and no one can convince me otherwise

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theallegedbird · 5 months

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LITERALLY

For example "6up 5oh (cop out)" IS LITERALLY THAT ONE POLICE EP FROM S5 where Jonny said the disclaimer at the beginning OR or bro c'mon literally "dr sunshine is dead" is about the dark OR "hand me my shovel, I'm going in" is about the buried or I personally connect "Mr. capgras encounters a second-hand vanity: tulpamancer's prosopagnosia/pareidolia (as direct result of trauma to fusiform gyrus)" to the stranger bc he keeps singing "you're trying to replace yourself" which I think really fits and also the song "skeleton appreciation day in vestal, my (bones)" also reminds me of the buried but also a bit of Jane Prentiss/the infestation and the jarchivist himself and also the rot yezyez the rotting too and also the beginning of the song "front street" where he sings about the slaughterhouse and meat...yes It's the flesh and the slaughter!!!!

And bro c'mon will wood is just so bbgirl his songs just fit SO WELL it's almost as if he wrote them specifically for tma

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA I'm low-key obsessed with him and I don't even listen to all the songs (I have the entire "everything's alot" album downloaded >I love it really mutch + a few other ones so I hope this counts ❤️)

Have a nice day btw love youuu❤️❤️❤️❤️ (I hope I didn't squish your brain to death with this friggin paragraph I just wrote :'] )

[ID of image in ask: a screenshot of a caption of a tumblr post by theallegedbird that the ask is responding to, it reads "memento mori- will wood, i can and will find a way to relate every ww song to tma istg". End ID]

NO LITERALLY,, YOU ARE SO RIGHT

kind of got carried away so um. long post

completely agree and feel the same about 6up 5oh cop out, dr sunshine is dead and mr capgras

6up 5oh cop out to me especially could be linked to daisy and the guy you mentioned as well as the hunt as whole because of both of them being heavily tied to and criticising the police/police brutality

warning for discussion of eds in this paragraph

skeleton appreciation day for me is the flesh,, dont get me wrong i can see your ideas too but i always interpreted the song as being about eds and negatively/unhealthily watching your weight in order to achieve "the perfect body" by society's standards; by being skinny,, "tell me you can see my bones" , "to cut down on my silhouette" and the whole end dialogue, so that fits into the flesh for me considering another situation of someone wanting the "ideal body" is something that is discussed in a flesh statement (mag90-bodybuilder), but i can see some themes in the song that can could be corruption, plus both the flesh and corruption are pretty closely linked at times (and smirkes system is just inaccurate to begin with)

dr sunshine is dead is as you said the dark to me,, in the sense of someone maybe becoming an avatar (song starts with narrator afraid of the dark/not knowing and ends with them embracing it) but also could be seen as the stranger or even spiral because of its themes (like most of ww's work) involving identity and the self

for hand me my shovel,, may i propose it is also s2 jon coded. very s2 jon coded. it is very much his paranoid need for the 'truth'. do you. do you get me

id also like to propose some other ww songs that are also extremely tma coded,, to me

blackboxwarrior!! ok stick with me but yknow that one dialogue bit that starts "hello, welcome. why don’t you take a seat?" that whole section. thats og elias and jonah in elias' interview. do you see the vision. its them. i always take it as jonah being the narrator when looking at this song with tma in mind,, with the "you’ve lost your mind and almost lost your life before, so you’ll be fine" and "for what it’s worth if it was going to kill you, boy, it would have by now" being directed at jon. please say im not insane for this i. i listen to this song a lot.

on the topic of jon and jonah your body my temple. because. because hes using jon as a pawn,, "your visage my visions" (i know this songs about sydney and elijah ch&t but can be tma too. if you think about it)

again with jon and jonah (i despise jonah and the godforsaken thing that is jonelias but their dynamic is so interesting) laplaces angel,, dont know how to put this one into words but do you Get It,, could be both or either of them really,, certain lyrics include: "it doesnt take a killer to murder it only takes a reason to kill", "the difference twixt fate and free will is whether youre singing", "whatever you think of me, if you were in my shoes, youd walk the same damn miles i do"

against the kitchen floor could also be jmart,, especially these parts: "i just havent learnt to be as human as you are yet", "i still dont know who you are, only that im still lonely", "apologizing for my life and ever entering yours" "im not a good person, im barely a person at all"

cicada days,, jon. jon coded. i really want ro make something with especially the in case i die live show version bc it just fits. so well. "it just feels inhumane to lose this much", "let all my red flags fade to white yeah i give up", and biggest one to me "here at the end of days, my god what have i done?" as in mag160,,

cotard's solution is the stranger,, again with the identity

there’s more but i’ve just realised how long this already is so ima leave it there

pff sorry for hijacking your ask but i’m a sucker for media analysis and any opportunity to do that with not one but two of my special interests causes me to black out and the autism to take over <33

also you’re so real for everything is lot,, favourite album

have a great day or night :D

#id in alt #not really comfortable talking about front street #yes its one of my favourite ww songs but the actual meaning of it isnt something i want to discuss throughly on here #tma #the magnus archives #will wood #wwattw #asks #avery rambles #long post #cw eds #cw eating disorders

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evilvillain123456789 · 2 years

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I get scared people dont like me so what do I do?

OK listen to me first of all let me tell you details about myself I’m 40 years old and I’ve never taken bullshit from no one. This is not Riverbial or a joke or a metaphor I am not fucking with you I’m sitting your bitch ass down and telling you what’s real about life. I’m 40 years old and there can be 40 more of me but what’s more important regarding to your fucking pathetic situation is that you need to learn to not give a shit that’s right not give a shit.

you need to fucking stand up for yourself once in your life and realize that the shit that you like to do feels good unless it feels bad you know what I’m saying like don’t do some fucked up shit don’t actually do heroin or some shit that’s not a good idea you just need to get your shit together and like if you like like fucking rolling yourself up in a big tortilla and jerking off go ahead I don’t give a shit but don’t involve anyone and your bullshit man. Don’t evolve anyone and your bullshit and you’ll be fucking fine man. Just like reach out when you need help you know like peace and love blah blah are we fucking get it but here’s what I’m fucking saying. You got a let people give a shit about you good when they give a shit about you bad you just got a lean over fucking grab your ankles and fart on their fucking faces with big clapping wet shiny oily rosy butt cheeks keep going

and when I’m looking at those big oil a rosy wet butt cheeks that are weapon wet clapping clapping like a weapon I get pissed off and I just turn my head and throw up but you got to keep farting because if you fart oh man I’m sorry I’ve been getting a little Ronchi off topic here well truth be told my wife hasn’t let me hit in the past few weeks so I’ve been getting really into hobbies to try to avoid pornography even though the only pornography I look at is overwatch stuff. Woodworking

is what I’m really getting into these days to try to keep my hand off my fucking dick and it’s starting to work but I’m basically just kind of carving it like I’m chiseling clay I get kind of like a whole log and I just go to town rather than a 2 x 4 because it’s easier that way cause I got a bunch of trees need cut it down yeah I’m well aware I’m getting real raunchy with you right now a big Ronchi boy just kidding man fuck off come on. Did you catch the game last night it really got me upset that they put Wilt the stilt from the jokers back on the fucking line if you know what I’m saying. I know they’re going to trade McCafferty to the Lakers

fuck the lakers

yeah McCafferty man. He wrote all that shit on Twitter about how he’s gonna burn down the library‘s that Carnegie bought for New York. That was really fucked up and specific but he said he was joking so it’s like fine. I don’t even think he put them in New York I think he put them in their place of birth. Man I’ve been thinking about Carnegie a lot lately. He knew his kids were gonna turn out to be dip shit do you ever read the gospel of wealth. He knew his kids are gonna turn out to be stupid piece of shit so he didn’t really give them a big crazy fortune Yeah I know instead he just kind of wrote all this shit about libraries I guess that by today’s standard he’d be a socialist is what I’m trying to tell you which is a good thing I know that’s pretty left-wing of me and I know I’m been more of a centrist in the past Yep I know that’s pretty fucking left wing with me yeah I know that’s pretty left-wing

im a right winger but i stuck to grime thats why i've done what i've done in such a short time my g

oh you’re right winger are you. With all the shit that’s going on that’s not even fucking funny. Bro seriously you are. Fucking with me. That’s so fucking dumb. Why don’t you get off this gaming out for a little boys and play something else with a 40-year-old man huh. Like you and me. I’m talking outback. On the pavement. Your skull. Spattering and splattering. Into. 1 million. Beautiful. Shards. Of. Rubys

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m4rs-ex3 · 10 months

Text

harrow is an incredible character. no not because he's perfect. it's because he's not!!!!

the way that he managed to be an amazing father and have a deeply flawed character in such unison should be a gold standard for writing. he's not "too pure to be a ruler" or whatever; no goofy joke he makes will make up for the fact that he killed avizandum. that he took down the monarch of xadia, a mate and a father, when he hadn't posed as an active threat for years--or ever, really. plus he fully committed to killing zym.

"he had a good reason" did he really? like bro there are a lot of fucking dragons in xadia in the long run killing one won't do shit. he may have made the decision with an angsty smolder but it was still a stupid, impulsive one. and as for the former act, yes, thunder thighs killed sarai (and everyone's favorite lesbians :(), he orphaned three precious innocent babies without a care in the world. avizandum was a ruthless, ignorant motherfucker, on that much i agree (which leads to the discussion of how the humans are humans but xadians are just as prejudiced and pretentious but that's a worship post for another day.) and no, i won't sit here and say that in harrow's position i would be perfectly fucking civil (ronan lynch ref go brr), i'm just stating the facts. ok my interpretation of the facts. tldr he did a shitty thing, but were his intentions good? no. was his heart in the right place? nada. was his hateful homicidal mindset fueled by a reasonable inciting incident? yes yes it was!

(also worthy to mention how much his rule benefited from dark magic. he ultimately made the noble decision to deny it but yk. still)

now believe you me, i recognize that a character who is seemingly perfect turning out to have a dark past isn't exactly revolutionary. but the artistry is in the execution + closure.

from a trope perspective, it really isn't a dark "past." this barbarity occurred literal months before the start of the series, where we see father of the year himself. i just feel that in other shows, the grotesque details of his crimes would use the characters, or at least the framing of the story, to imply that it's so shocking that he would do such a thing and o woe i'll never look at him the same, but it doesn't. which is really what makes his death so impactful.

he's not just a wholesome dad type who is this innocent pure-hearted king. the narrative isn't that his death is such a colossal tragedy cause he was just such a good guy. he's emotional, profound, and righteous, and all of it ends up being a double edged sword!!! because that's how human traits work!!! the narrative doesn't do anything to frame him in any way, it just presents him in full truth. and lo and behold, i don't think there's a single viewer who thinks he is terrible person.

the beauty in his story is that he warranted his own death, and he was willing to acknowledge and accept it more than anyone. he subjected himself to the consequences of his own actions, and the people he influenced most are the ones who see that.

ezran says it all himself: his father, ultimately, was a great king, and an incredible person. but he is strong enough to point out harrow's weaknesses and commit to learning from them.

harrow isn't this shining example of everything a king should be. his death isn't just this unfortunate, harrowing (haa.ha.ahaha) circumstance used to dump a truckload of character-building trauma onto our mcs. it's the first step in the entire journey of the mf show. change. it's the moment where ezran, through all his grief, sees exactly where his path needs to lead to.

harrow fucked up, he knows this, and that's all she wrote. he meant just as much in death as in life, and if that isn't friggin beautiful then i don't know what is.

aagagghh. WRITING ⬆️⬆️⬆️!!!!!!

#the two sides of my adhd are brawling rn #the side that can't read long posts #and the side that can't write concise posts #um anyways so #king harrow #tdp #the dragon prince

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langernameohnebedeutung · 8 months

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I'm not trying to start on you, but the only one of the 'creepy guy' characters I'm familiar with is the Big Bang Theory guy, and he's only presented as non-threatening because of the historical emasculation of Jewish men. It's his perceived femininity that allows him to be gross without repercussion, not the privilege of his masculinity. (Once again, I'm not trying to start an argument, sorry if it seems that way)

No, that is probably a fair point that I didn't think of!

As a gentile + with a lot of specific cultural barriers when it comes to portrayals of Jewish people, I will not and I CAN not make a determined statement on this simply bc it's not something I'm very knowledgeable in regards to. (In fact, I only learnt that this was actually a stereotype about Jewish men a few months ago in a post about how parodies of Ben Shapiro often invoke this narrative.) So this is especially hard for me to have an educated opinion or valuable take on bc my memory of watching that show in my teens is very blurry and I never watched it with that stereotype in mind to look out for and analyse the show in regards to.

Though (leaning very far out of the window just from what I remember on the show and my framework for how stereotypes work) it also feels like a bit of a chicken-egg question that I really cannot answer:

Is the character presented that way BECAUSE he's Jewish (a lot of aspects of the way Howard was written, like other running jokes about his mother or his allergies, definitely feel like they're coming from that point: They decided to 1) write a Jewish character AND then 2) wrote a bunch of antisemitic jokes to go with that)

OR was the jumping-off point that they were making a show about a group of male characters who fail to live up to standards of masculinity - and BECAUSE of this historical and cultural portrayal of Jewish men, they felt like it would be funny to make one of them Jewish (and to be clear, I don't think it's necessarily or even just likely just either of these options, they probably both play into different aspects of the development of this character, - and quite frankly, I doubt the jumping-off point was/is a particularly relevant question in comparison to the general impact of doing this in a show that is/was as successful as the big bang theory.)

It is definitely a very different portrayal from the way e.g. How I Met Your Mother portrayed (and excused) the actions of Barney Stinson. Because one of them works, as you say, through emasculation - "if you're not a real man, you're not a real threat to women, so it's funny and we should feel sorry for these guys secretly filming hot women in their own house" (e.g. Penny's Evul boyfriends, the foils to Leonard's Nice Guy, being portrayed as very masculine and actually threatening).

Meanwhile, How I Met Your Mother didn't work that way - Barney Stinson was definitely portrayed as Cool and his predatory behaviours were not just as excused as him being harmless, it was glorified as him having "game" or "flirting strategies" and irl, men actually felt inspired by him and while stuff like the Play Book were partially tongue-in-cheek, the idea was that "it's okay because it works and is funny and the women who fall for it probably have it coming BECAUSE they fall for it and Barney is considered hot and masculine - so women are probably into it." For example, when I graduated, my year literally had a How I Met Your Mother motto and like...half the guys in my year would try to emulate Barney Stinson and quote him and quote the Bro Code or other stuff from the show and misogynistic stuff he said. And while people also loved to quote Sheldon back then, it came from a different place and not so much one of admiration.

Though, I feel compelled to point out that on the "how does this portrayal treat women" bottom line, we always end up at "it's okay to treat women badly to get what you want"

Also, an extra note for context, I would also point towards the '90s and the 2000s generally having a very different attitude regarding what media at the time considered funny and what was considered predatory - they were at a very specific point in tv and movie history in terms of a) what they could portray and talk about and b) the public conversations at the time on matters like consent and dating and sex.

Like, at this point we can almost speak from the "historical context" because mindset changed so much since then - you see this on a lot of shows, e.g. if you follow me, I'm rewatching House right now and it's very prominent there and while I never watched Friends, I know there is a lot of discourse happening there and I remember watching Buffy being genuinely surprised when in one episodes, they called out a group of nerds (!) for being insane fucking predators.

And that's not even just something to do with men and women and gender but just generally, a lot of things that we talk about today and that we make progress talking about in terms of consent and sexual autonomy were really not something that was part of the major discourse - and this was actually why I considered the addition that "women in the 2000s cartoons (!) acted creepy in a way men couldn't so it's all a different-sides-of-the-same-medal kinda thing!" rather disingenuous:

Because...men in 2000s films and shows definitely got away with acting like fucking creeps - and women too - and that didn't take "privilege of masculinity" or anything, it just took it being the 2000s. (Privilege of masculinity was the insane degree to which characters like Barney Stinson were idolised for this)

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k8fics · 2 years

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Please please please write more Nathan Fielder fluff bro im dying out here

Assist

summary: headcanon — assistant! reader x nathan fielder (nathan for you era)

rating: PG — nothing bad

- let’s be honest, he probably does not need an assistant.

- but he begged his producers until they finally allowed him to interview a few people for the job.

- sure, he could’ve used an unpaid intern but where’s the fun in that?

- the interviews would be… unusual.

When you walked in, you were greeted by a scrawny guy in a standard office space. You guys shook hands and exchanged names before the actual interview.

“So.. Um, here we help small businesses in unique ways,” He started. His hands waving around manically.

Nathan later explains it’s basically just a mock reality show where he tries unique (outrageous) ways to help businesses and people.

“Do you actually help the companies or…” You trailed off.

“Sometimes.” He stated. “Anyways, you’ll be doing tasks I don’t want to do.”

Then came the boring questions; you’re experience, what you’re like in the work place, if you’re single.

- obviously you got the job, he didn’t have a lot of choices anyway (in his own words).

- you do easy tasks: take notes, post craigslist ads, look for the businesses/people, sometimes you do nathan’s laundry.

- he reads all of your notes or makes you read them out to him.

“Write that down.” He would say.

“Y/N, why did you write that he has a small penis?”

“I think it’s relevant.”

- he likes to lean over you while you’re doing something.

- like you’ll be on your laptop, busy, and he’ll come over and just hover over you for five minutes minimum.

- has you write down all his ideas, even if you told him there’s no way he can legally do that.

- asks you on opinions on things irrelevant to your line of work.

“Be honest, does my shirt match my pants?”

“I really don’t think it matters since it’s a suit ten times too big for you, Nathan.”

- makes you hangout with him; an early breakfast before walking to work together, forces you to come over for “important business” when he just wants someone to talk to, etc.

- brings coffee some days, has you bring coffee the next day.

- drives around with you because he says it’s “more efficient.”

- when he asked you out, he did it in his office. he was leaned over slightly, obviously flustered.

“I’ve been wanting to ask you out for dinner for awhile but I thought there might be a conflict of interests here.” He rambled on until you finally cut him off the answer.

“Sure! Sounds fun.” Things began from there.

- he’ll have you walk with him, his hand resting on your lower back.

- he doesn’t make you do his laundry (alone) anymore.- of course you still do your usual work, but he’s nicer when he orders you around at least.

“Hey, I’m going to need to you pick all of this up for me.” He’d say passing a list of items to you.

You read over the list and paused, “Okay.. I understand the cat food and milk but how am I going to find a five yard tube?”

“I don’t know, they don’t have it at Home Depot or something?”

- he doesn’t really like pda, especially on set.

- he’s okay with it in the office though; he’ll come up behind you while you’re getting something from the break room, makes you take a nap with him on his couch, whatever.

- i just feel like he’s not the type to put his relationship out there in front of everyone.

- writes flirty notes in your notebook when he’s reading your notes over;

“Have a good day :)”

“You looked beautiful today!”

“I wanted to fuck you the entire time” 😵‍💫

—

i want him…. wrote this in my usual style hope it’s okay!

#nathan fielder x reader #nathan fielder fanfic #nathan fielder headcanon #nathan fielder

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thebossestunicycle · 9 months

Text

Barbie: a casual review

!!spoilers ahead!!

So after I got my soul crushed by Oppenheimer this morning, I stopped at my dad’s to feed our cat, got chipotle for lunch, and then headed out to see Barbie at 4:00. Honestly, I’m glad I ended up seeing this one second, because I enjoyed it a whole lot more than I thought I would and I pretty much smiled through the whole thing. It definitely helped to lighten the mood after All That (review coming in like an hour or two probably).

Overall, I loved everyone’s performances and characters. Allen and Weird Barbie were really funny, and Margot Robbie and Ryan Gosling’s performances really stood out to me (no shit, they’re the two main characters). I really loved Ken and the whole war/musical between all the kens was amazing and hilarious. I really didn’t expect there to be a lot of depth and emotion put into Barbie and Ken, but the movie took a really surprising existential turn where they start to discover themselves and start to find out what being Barbie, Ken, and human even, really means. It was a really nice message about being more than what the world wants you to be and how no one has to be perfect. That whole scene with Barbie and her creator was sweet.

I also liked how aware the movie was of itself. It played around with gender roles and stereotypes in pretty funny ways too. I’m surprised about how much they talked about the unattainable standards barbie dolls put put there for girls, since the movie was cleared by the company itself. Also the patriarchy thing being simplified into horses and mini fridges and mojo dojo casa houses was way too spot on. I swear the weiters just talked to some frat bros and wrote down whatever they heard.

I know every ‘anti-woke’ commentator is gonna really lose their shit over this movie. I’ve already seen people calling it some super radical feminist movie that hates men or whatever. The movie really isn’t that at all but whatever you say, ben shapiro. It really isn’t that serious. Also, I just know that the Snyder bootlickers are losing their shit right now over that one line, which makes it even funnier.

My one complaint is probably just with the mom and her daughter, Sasha. The interactions between the mom and Barbie when they first meet is cute, but besides that, her and Sasha really weren’t that interesting. Also, some of the music was really mediocre (Lizzo’s song was great though).

Finally, I just wanted to say that it visually looked amazing. I loved how the whole barbie world looked and also Barbie and Ken’s outfits. Everything was really bright and bubbly but not in the overbearing way that I expected it to be.

Final Score:

Characters - 7/10

Plot - 10/10 - really, pacing was super good

Visuals: 10/10

Music: 5/10

8/10

#barbie #barbenheimer #g reviews

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teecupangel · 1 year

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To the nonny that sent me that ask about ‘Desmond/Claudia and Ezio's/Auditore family reaction’ yesterday, @saberamane informed me that this might have been a question of how Desmond and Claudia would work as a couple and I’m so sorry for the mistake. I wrote Claudia!Desmond a day or so ago when I got this ask and I assumed this was connected to it.

So here’s how I think Desmond and Claudia could work.

For a modern day setting:

If we’re going to set it in a school setting, Desmond would be a close friend (maybe even best friend) of Claudia’s older brother Ezio.

Claudia would have a crush on him and think he’s so cool. Duccio? Duccio who?

As there’s a bit of an age gap in this case (since Ezio is 2 years older than Claudia), Desmond would see Claudia more as a little sister.

Honestly, I can totally see Claudia using that Auditore boldness and courage of hers to ask Desmond out herself. Desmond would be surprised but he’d say yes because he doesn’t want to hurt Claudia’s feelings.

In the end, Desmond has fun with their date and they start dating.

Lots of awkward dating moments, maybe even a bit of “when you were little-” “oh my god, don’t talk like that, it’s embarrassing!” which is just Claudia trying to stop Desmond from seeing her as Ezio’s little sister.

There’s really no need for any angst in this setup, just a lot of teenage awkwardness if they’re both in high school and the whole sorta-kinda-friends to lover trope.

Claudia being absolutely ecstatic and jumping around whenever she gets a milestone with Desmond (like they hold hands “oh my god, you guys hold hands!” “yeeeeesss” “sqquueeee” or Desmond kissing her hand “dreamy sigh”)

This is a Claudia who never had to face such tragedy at such a young age so she’s happy, a bit bitchy, and a hopeless romantic.

Although her bitchiness is where her Auditore fire shines the most and everyone learns early on that Desmond is off-limits thanks to that.

Maria and Giovanni approve of their relationship because they know Desmond is a good person. Giovanni gave him the shovel talk once and Desmond took note of it. Maria asked for his help in cooking once and gave him a very different shovel talk while she was cutting the head of a fish and Desmond is terrified.

Federico keeps out of it. He knows how much of a horror show Claudia can be when she finds out they’re butting in so he just keeps out of it. Absolutely not going to touch that with a ten-foot pole (he will, of course, try to threaten Desmond if he ever hurt his sister but Desmond would just go “Dude, you know nothing you’ll ever do to me will ever be as scary as what Claudia will do to me, right?” “…… point. I’ll help her hide the body.” “It’s cute you think Claudia needs help hiding a body.”)

Ezio… oooohhh boy. Ezio isn’t sure if he should be supportive or not so he just complains about how Claudia is stealing Desmond’s time from him. Even going as far as “Bros before h-” “Dude, she’s your sister.” “You get what I mean!” Everyone knows it’s Ezio’s way of coping with the changing relationship between his best friend and his only sister. He does start calling Desmond his brother which embarrasses Claudia and Desmond.

Petruccio loves Desmond because he thinks he’s so cool. Desmond likes to listen to him talking about birds and is very supportive of Petruccio wanting to go birdwatching once he gets better.

Ezio and Claudia definitely made a contract that states how many hours Desmond needs to hang out with Ezio and be with Claudia every week. This is their version of ‘sharing’ Desmond. Desmond knows about it and he’s just “Don’t ask. Just… don’t ask.”

In a non-school setting, Claudia met Desmond when she went to Bad Weather. They flirt and started dating, standard stuff.

Desmond would be a stranger to the Auditores so Maria and Giovanni would absolutely be wary of him and they won’t say it out loud but they think Claudia can do better than a bartender in some seedy nightclub/bar.

Federico would be cool with Desmond as he doesn’t actually think Claudia is serious with him. He’s hot but they’re not gonna last. He does form a friendship with Desmond and he hoped that they break up but stay as friends so it won’t be awkward if Federico hangs out with Desmond even after that.

Ezio knows Claudia is serious about Desmond and he’s the most critical of Desmond. Full-on big brother scrutinizing Desmond while Claudia is going “oh my god stop it you’re embarrassing!”. This, strangely enough, makes Desmond like him the most of the Auditores.

Petruccio is only one year younger than Claudia so no ‘so cool’ from him at this point. He also sees Claudia is serious about Desmond and he’s the nicest of them……… He is also the one who got a background check on Desmond… just to be safe. XD

So, for the canon setting, @saberamane made a good point that, for the entire family to have a reaction to Desmond in this setting, this would mean Desmond would have to be in a relationship with Claudia when she was a teenager. Unless we do deage Desmond, it’ll be iffy for us (but not for the time period) so… in this scenario, may I suggest:

Time-Traveled Desmond x AC Brotherhood Assassin!Claudia:

In this scenario, Claudia would be an Assassin already and being a badass.

Desmond would also be younger than her for once and be the one having the whole “damn, she’s hot when she kills someone.” and “oh shit, I can’t think like that to Ezio’s little sister!”

Just Desmond being the awkward one because he’s attracted to Claudia but knows he can’t do anything about his feeling because Claudia’s Ezio’s sister.

Claudia, on the other hand, is both annoyed at the way Desmond is copying Ezio in terms of thinking she needs to be protected and thinking fondly of the way Desmond is trying to not show he’s attracted to her and always seemed apologetic whenever he realized he’s been trying to baby her.

Again, it would be Claudia who would act first and Desmond would be unable to resist her Auditore charm and her own brand of stubbornness.

Pegging will be involved. Desmond being swept away by Claudia’s passion and ‘adventurous’ soul.

The only real angst potential of this setup I can think of other than the whole ‘Claudia having to keep telling Desmond to stop trying to protect her, she can take care of herself!’ thing would be “We can’t ever tell Ezio we’re together” “You make it sound like you’re cheating Ezio with me.” “No, you know that’s not what I mean!”

Just Claudia feeling that Desmond is always prioritizing Ezio over her which will definitely become messy quickly.

Although, this will lead to Desmond finally admitting the truth to her and they’ll make up because Claudia would understand why Desmond carries such deep loyalty to Ezio.

On the other side of this entire thing, Ezio knew they’d been having an affair the entire time and he’s just drowning it with wine as he tells Leonardo “My little sister is growing up. She’s found someone that I can’t find a reason to beat up!”

Ezio would definitely bless and approve of their relationship (not that he’d tell Claudia that because he knows Claudia would punch him if he even hints that they needed his approval or blessing or anything of the sort) and he can’t even try to give Desmond the shovel talk because he likes Desmond and he’s happy that they’re together.

Before Claudia and Desmond got together, Ezio was planning on adopting Desmond XD

#at this point we’re only missing petruccio and we will have all the auditore siblings x desmond headcanons XD #i’m so sorry nonny! TTATT #just to be clear #any questions of ‘will desmond x this character work?’ will always be answered with yes #i’m just going to lay out some ideas on how they can work #what should we call this?#claudes #i guess?

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skzoologist · 5 months

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Heya! This is the previous anon screaming ab the new chapter being released

THE NEW CHAPTER OMG??? IK I SAID THIS BEFORE BUT YOUR DESCRIPTIONS 💕💕💕💕 The descriptions of the imaginary sceneries make each scene so vivid, holy shit (/pos), it's like I'm standing in the middle of each scene in person and taking pictures of it in HD

AND JISUNG CRYING?? AND THERE WERE CUDDLES AFTER?? BRO 😭😭 (if you couldn't tell already I'm Han biased :D)

FUCK THE PERSON WHO TRAUMATIZED BAE AND THE DUDE WHO CAME UP TO HIM, BINNIE, AND THE PUPPY 🤬🤬🤬

anyways, I'm so normal about this series 😁 (I'm lying, I will now be rereading all the chapters again for the 4th time)

You've outdone yourself again, thank you sm for the wonderful writing 💕💕💕💕

Please pardon my use of cuss words in this ask 😭

(one last question, uhhh can I be 🐹 anon?)

H-hold on, I- I need some tissues, because you are so sweet and aAAaaAaaaaaAAAaaaa

My apologies, I had to let it out.

I am so, so, SO happy you liked the chapter this much, I didn't feel like it was up to my usual standards of quality 😞I had to go back several times and make sure the descriptions were like, you know, okay and not just a few sad words left there to rot x'd

Jisung crying, ah yes, the part that I wrote under an hour because surprise surprise (it isn't), he is my bias wrecker. So much so that after half a year I am still reeling from it, so you are in luck with him being your bias! 😄 (I will forever write stuff for him, I need it to LIVE omg) I was scrambling around, trying to hide this fact and write more for Seungminnie, but I might have failed lmao. Hopefully the Seungmin biased readers won't come for my throat haha 😅

You're gonna curse some more people in the future, not gonna lie. Like. A lot. And quite a few times. Sorry in advance, dear 🥲

You are so not normal about this series and I am so not normal about your reactions (never stop them, please, I am begging you-). Your 4th time??? HeLLO?? THAT IS SUCH AN HONOUR, I WILL CRY 😭😭😭

No no, I don't mind cuss words at all, don't worry! I actually use a lot while speaking, it's a bad habit of mine, so I am quite desensitized to them.

And yes, you can be 🐹 anon, in fact you already are! Welcome, hope you enjoy your stay! (you have that tag now as well for yourself)

Me after seeing this ask, accurate depiction:

#i was SO excited to see this wtf #unfair #too many sweet people are in my ask box #where did ya'll come from-#also yea #writing unbiased is SO freaking hard #*cries*#potat writes back #unfamiliarity #🐹 anon #i have 2 regular anons now #i am going to collect you guys like pokemon <3

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rayshippouuchiha · 2 years

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I'm so confused right now. I just need to unload a little, so there's a long rant incoming. Sorry Ray.

So: Months ago I wrote a comment on someone's reaction to AtLA episode 1x11 (the Great Divide), and I said something like "most people think this is the worst episode, but as you can see, it's perfectly fine. That just goes to show the high standards of this show :)".

Then yesterday some guy replies that he wants to know where I'm getting my info bc he "doesn't buy my claims" that most people think it's the worst episode, even demanding to see "actual data".

Now, I'm the kind of person who really dislikes having any animosity directed at me. Therefore, I apologized, acknowledged it was an over-generalization, and mentioned that I've just seen a ton of comments online about how it's the worst episode bc "no elements in it return later, and the message kinda winds up being 'if two groups don't get along lie until they do'". I also reiterated that I never said the episode was bad and I hated it, I called it "perfectly okay", I just personally think other episodes have more "substance". And I though that was the end of that.

But then the guy replies that I was making "bad faith readings" bc I was belittling? the actual message of the episode about the stupidity of generational violence, and that my claim that no elements return later was false bc the episode plants the seeds for Aang's conflict resolution abilities later in the show.

And I'm just like. Bro.

I made one comment ages ago mostly as a way to praise the show as a whole. Why are you having a go at me over this? Did I accidentally diss your favorite episode?? And why ME when I'm sure there must've been a bunch of comments saying "yeah, this episode is the worst, period"? Me, who only said "yeah this episode is pretty good still, despite being considered the worst in the series". I just. It doesn't compute for me.

And as for my "bad faith readings", the comment says right there "I've seen comments online" So I just agree with the statements, I didn't make them up myself. And I didn't expand on it bc I didn't want to write a 2 page dissertation on the squandered potential of episode 1x11 of ATLA in the youtube comment section, but I guess I have to go there now huh? Now I have to type out how I meant that no characters/items/knowledge/plot points acquired in this episode are explicitly relevant in later episodes, that I wish the united tribes had made a comeback at some point (maybe to help out during the Day of Black Sun), that the message would've been so much more powerful if the truce wasn't built on a lie that could get exposed at any moment, and that I didn't mean to belittle what the episode does accomplish, I just see a lot of wasted potential.

Look what you've done random internet guy, you've made me type out an entire Ted Talk on THE GREAT DIVIDE for heaven's sake. I hope you're happy.

I'm so tired oh my god please let this be the end of it this time

If he responds to you absolutely do not respond back. That's a troll. All that dude is really trying to do is get a reaction out of you, darling.

Don't feed the troll.

#RayRambles

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adultswim2021 · 8 months

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The Venture Bros. #38: “The Lepidopterists” | August 3, 2008 - 11:30PM | S03E10

Well, it only took 8 episodes, but we’ve got our first just good-ass Venture Bros of the season. I forgot about this one being GREAT. There ain’t no hide nor hair of Hank, Dean, or Scooter Venture (is it Scooter? The dad? I forget his name all of the sudden and don’t feel like looking it up. Could it be Peanut?). This one was teased in the “Now Museum, Now You Don’t” episode. Doc Hammer wrote this episode and midway through the writing process Jackson told Doc that Spider-Skull Island was a museum now, in a different episode he was in the middle of writing. Lucky him, he got to write museum gags, like when 21 and 24 blend in at a museum tableau.

The Monarch becomes Jonas Venture Jr.’s arch after the events of “Tears of a Sea Cow” (actually that one’s good I just decided). Throughout the course of their inaugural scuffle, Monarch uses weaponry, cunning, politics, and movie magic to get towards his ultimate goal of being able to terrorize the real Dr. Scooter Venture again (By Scooter I mean whatever that guy’s name is. I simply can not remember). The Monarch basically gets Jonas Jr. to attack him with enough severity that he would be within guild bylaws to avenge his loss by targeting his immediate family members, such as the hated Scooter Venture. Meanwhile we get Jonas Jr. trying to get the hang of being arched.

The opening has a very memorable scene that involves the Venture Mech, Ventron, starting this one with a gosh dang bang. Ventron is piloted by Jonas Jr, Sally Impossible, the Sea Captain, and Ned, a parody of The Thing who’s just a childlike retarded man. Jonas Jr. is a very supportive parent to Ned, who nurtures Ned’s independence and choice-making so that he can, to quote Doc Hammer on the commentary, “be the best damn retard he can be”.

Doc uses the r-word cheekily on said commentary after sharing a story about his mother scolding him for using it on the show, spoken by the Monarch. Doc puts a similar exchange between Jonas Jr. and the Monarch, where the Monarch incredulously offers back that he’s a villain and of course he’d use bad words like “retard”. He joked that his mom won't listen to the commentary. I hope she doesn't read this blog.

The Pirate guy has a side story where he gets addicted to tranquilizer darts. 21 and 24 have to go on some technical mission with a third guy, Henchman 1. 21 and 24 continue their meta thread about how they fancy themselves main characters of their life, and evade death. They mention Tomb Raider in this episode, specifically her dying animation when she drowns. Jackson and Doc initially bonded over Tomb Raider when they first met.

Henchman 1 is a squareheaded and competent, and voiced by Jackson Publick squeezing his throat like David Cross in Mr. Show when he does the black guy voice. You know what I’m talking about? Jackson Publick actually cites this in the Venture Bros art book (which I found a digital copy of; here’s hoping they reissue that thing with updated entries for the finale and final season). Henchman 1 doesn’t survive, as far as we know.

This one moves so goddamn quick and is actually funny. They even manage to get into guild rigamarole, which I usually find fraught humor-wise, and not only make it interesting but make it an important weapon being wielded by the Monarch. Death to Scooter.

MAIL BAG

This was really a turning point for me with Tim and Eric. While they would still put out three or four fantastic high-concept or style parody episodes, the hitting average on the more standard sketch episode just completely tanks. You can make one or two great episodes out of each season compiling the best gags but the pickings are bone slim. Wish they just got cancelled and did more episodes of Nite Live instead lol.

I might be more charitable than that, but I basically agree. I used to rationalize it in my head that Tim & Eric simply grabbed an opportunity to generate a lot of stuff, and decided not to be precious with it, and just foolhardily started churning out stuff and lost steam. Like a somewhat noble failure?

I now realize that a likelier explanation is that Adult Swim ordered 30 episodes (seasons 2-4) and shortly switched over to HD, and the production budget was locked so Tim & Eric couldn't make the switch and were basically pressured into churning out their 30 as quickly as possible, just to grant it a slightly-longer shelf life before becoming completely obsolete. I guess I'll sort my feelings out when the season is done.

#adult swim #adultswim2021 #the venture bros.

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qnewslgbtiqa · 6 days

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Homeware king Troye Sivan's bottomless 'glory bowl' roasted

New Post has been published on https://qnews.com.au/homeware-king-troye-sivans-bottomless-glory-bowl-roasted/

Homeware king Troye Sivan's bottomless 'glory bowl' roasted

Australian pop superstar Troye Sivan is also in the homewares business and after he promoted a new product on Instagram, his millions of followers had a lot of follow-up questions.

In case you weren’t aware, Troye is the creative director of bougie brand Tsu Lange Yor. Its fancy products promise “unorthodox elevation for self and sanctuary”.

Now for the unorthodox price of $700 you can buy one of Troye’s extremely unorthodox bowls (below).

Troye got on Instagram to promote his new “bottomless (baseless) and beautiful” bowl.

He posted two photos of the two different-sized bowls. One is just big enough to hold a couple of personal belongings.

The other larger “bowl” can accommodate fruits and vegetables.

“Very excited to show you all @tsulangeyor’s newest homeware — the bowl,” Troye Sivan wrote.

The singer said he’s “been living with (the bowl) for a few months and it’s genuinely my favourite thing”.

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by troye sivan (@troyesivan)

‘I thought it was cockring’

But Troye Sivan’s followers weren’t so sure, leading to a very chaotic comments section even by Troye’s standards.

“I THOUGHT IT WAS A COCKRING UNTIL I SWIPED,” one person wrote.

“He’s beating the bottom allegations,” according to the official Grindr account.

“Glory bowl,” read another comment.

“Boy that’s a hoop,” someone else wrote.

“A bottomless bowl?! Tops win again I fear,” another person said.

For some, it was simply the bowl’s price tag that was the dealbreaker.

“These celebrity brands are getting more ridiculous and obnoxious each time.”

“That’s 700 dollars for a gold bracelet that sits on display.”

“Also, no one’s talking about the $90 candles. Like bro, no one can afford this s___t.”

Troye Sivan released his latest album Something to Give Each Other last October.