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hummingbird-games · 5 months

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2023 In Review (Indie Games)

Last year's! | 2021

I apologize in advance for how long this might be. As a reminder, I don't bash games here so even if I hated something with every fiber of my being...I ain't sharing. As a second reminder, my more in depth reviews and live blogging has moved to Gem's Game Gems so I don't clutter the HBG's main blog. Okay. ON WITH THE REVIEW!!

DEMOS

Diffraction (Demo)- A rainy day otome indeed. I love the quiet gentleness of this game, the two romance options, and the fact that our MC is a photographer and struggling with her art and stack of life "failures" (because...SAME!!)

Alaris - I was asleep and now I am awake: I came late for the advertised fae and dragon lore, stayed seated and waiting for Fenir zjgjdf. Oh, and I guess the mystery surrounding our MC's abilities LOL.

The Summit Library - When I say I was maaaaaad when I realized I blew through chapter 1 and would have to go back to waiting for more content??? LOL, I was very miffed. Anyhoo, check out this title for the gorgeous art, another intriguing mystery (like what is *up* with the magic in the poor library?? who or what is to blame?? 👀) and of course the lovely characters we've been introduced to thus far.

Of Sense and Soul - I'm a regency romance girl. Like after you strip away the other stuff, I am but a poor woman with simple needs: a good ass love story 🤧💛 It's about the yearning and the slow burn and the will they/won't they/PLEASEEE they...I've never been so charmed by a demo, and the full game is going to be amazing I just know it!

Made Marion - This project is a game I've been keeping tabs on for a hot minute but hadn't taken the time to sit and properly enjoy the demo. I'M SO GLAD I DID!!! It's in early access now, so I'm hoping eventually I'll be able to carve out some time to play, but guysss Velvet Cupcake is doing the Thing?!? No idea which love interest I'll go for first, but I had a fun time meeting the Nottingham peeps in the demo.

Herotome (Super Demo) - Oh gosh. Oh gosh oh gosh oh my GOSHHH. Where do I even began?? (Really the question is where the hell do I end because this is one of those projects I talk about a lot/think about a lot and surprisingly haven't run out of things to say zkjfksjd). Another game I've been following for a while, it 100% lives up to the superhero genre in its aesthetic, the characters you interact with, the music and sound design, and of course the slowly unfurling story. Jade and Mia had come out as my top faves, Warden is still there, like hovering in the backgroud, shhhh but I have a special place in my heart for Griffin too (that conversation we have with her?? I have so many screenshots just so I can go back and reread and sear the words in my brain. Like a weirdo. Yup.)

Celestial Crowns - Stats building, celestial royalty, dating sim where you fuck around and find out your choices directly affect your MC's personality?? I'm sat. I supported the Kickstarter and now I try to practice patience for the full game's release siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiighh.

OTOME/JOSEI JAM

Please note this is a SUPER abridged list for my sanity and I fell a little more in love with these 2 jams with each entry I played...

Intertwine - As embarrassing as it sounds, I've never given much thought to the "red string" thing, and I consume more than enough romance media LOL!! But Van is suuuuuch a beautiful man, the UI for this game is so interactive and lovely, the music is ALSO lovely, just lovely-love all the way around teehee. (Also this game encourages replayabillity so like, do with that info what you will.)

Spring Boy [Demo] - I believe this game is going through a complete rehaul, so my thoughts and feelings refer to the original jam entry I played. The art is bright and cute and it's a super super short demo, but I was intrigued by the other student we meet on our mission to plead with our professor about our bombed exam lol!

Assignment Due: Project Blue - IRl group projects??? Suck absolute ass. Group projects with a guy name Asher?? Suddenly it's my new favorite thing in the world 😁

Cryptid Campaign Manager [DEMO] - Remember the last time I looked over a cryptid dating sim??? Remember how I was SUCH a fool?? Good thing I didn't make that mistake again!! The prologue is such a tease but you get an idea of what the full game is gonna be like, and I'm excited to see where my career involving love (and politics) goes!

Heart Cage [Demo] - Yoooooo I stay my ass far far far away from yanderes (could never get into the trope or the character type). WELP. Guess I just needed to keep searching because I really downloaded this off a whim--well, the whim being one of my fellow dev peers playing and rating-- and proceeded to get sucked in 🤧I thought being a detective would be the highlight, but I guuuueeesssss I was more into the romance options than I thought. Oops.

Evernight - I tried to explain what this game meant to me on the side blog, but words failed me. I still don't know what to say other than I loved it?? Which is like ummm I say I love everything, and yeah I'm easy to please BUT Y'ALLLLLL if you play no other game, play this one. Please. Date a werewolf. Or a vampire. Or a fae. Plz. Also figuring out the mystery of your MC's abilities and past is just delightful, ugh.

Bright Oak (demo) - Anotha one I wrote about on the side blog!!! Play this one!!! The writing is lush and atmospheric and the characters are all delightful and it's another game with a mystery to untangle!

The Faithfulness of the Universe- This one gets the award for most unique all around entry that I played. Theeeeee prettiest pixel art to bless my eyeballs, and this tasty mystery concerning Fate and witch Faustina's future (or lack thereof 👀) and what it all means. As a player I very much want to know what it all means!

A Cup For All Seasons - Another game that needs its flowers y'all. It's short but super healing and super cozy and the voice acting and music really tie the gaming experience together???

The Working Woman's Guide to Burning Bridges - DEMO - It's the way I played the demo twice and I've been thinking about it ever since 😭😭😭🙃 obviously life happens and things come up, plus this was a demo. But. BUT!!! I am on my hands and knees prayinnggg the team gets together again to finish the game. I love playing as a stressed, lowkey bitter hot mess who doesn't have her life together 😂somehow the fictional version is soooo much more entertaining!!!

Keyframes (Spring Demo) - After the game College Craze, this is legit THE college, slice of life visual novel of my dreams. I cannot wait for the updated demo next year, and the Kickstarter whenever that rolls around. And now that the developer is on Tumblr, I've definitely been stalking the account and reading each new post like it's my day/night/weekend job 🤧

Hello Counsel 💋 - Okay I take it back, Evernight is like a 20/10 but Hello Counsel is like an 100/10 👁️👄👁️ This game is necessary for my mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual health, alright? The banter ✅ the character designs ✅ the music ✅ the sizzling chemistry between Poise and Salem ✅ I wish this game had more buzz because IT'S SO GOOD!!! (also the dev, Miseri, is who I wanna be when I grow up. I've made it through almost their whole backlog of games and there are no misses and EVERY game is different from the rest and it makes it hard for a toodler dev--ME--to cope LOL)

Candied Hearts - Isekaied into a candy themed game?? Sign me TF UP!!! (Peppermint I love you dearly, you must understand.)

Fully Released & Played (at least 1 playthrough)

The Knight's Dilemma - I don't even know how I originally stumbled upon this??? I just know it had been in my backlog for a hot minute and I was intrigued enough to save it way back when. Y'ALL WHY DIDN'T I PLAY SOONER SKJFHFJFH! There's a couple different endings, I loved the voice direction, AND it's such a simple concept of a game that was just executed beautifully.

Trouble Comes Twice - If I had to make a top 5 list of romance VNs, guess who makes the list?? Guess. Guess guess guess. Have you guessed yet??? LOL! I have been in love with TCT since it's development days and with each passing month, waiting in anticipation, playing the Pateron beta builds, screaming on the main blog about every single thought I had about Jace and Hazel (shoutout to Jace for helping me figure out *me*) Lol if you're curious about said thoughts, those posts are on this blog and not the side blog.

Aelfric the Wondrous - 10/10 would love to forget my first play through JUST to have that experience fresh again 😭😭💛Cute and funny and a wonderful parody type game all around.

A Summer's End - Hong Kong 1986 - Goodness, there's no excuse for why this took me years to finish but anyhoo, I finished, I loved it, I recommend it! It's romantic and achingly authentic and the art is soooo gorgeous I literally can't stand it 😭

The Things You Do For Love - Unhinged yandere manages to entertain and garner sympathy and laughter from Gemini. And that poly ending is chef's kiss too????

Band Camp Boyfriend - There are a handful of games I found and loved before I began my game development journey, and this is one of them. BCB is so dear to me, because of the story and characters but also because of the Dynamic Duo creators and their team behind the scenes. I was never a band kid I was a chorus kid but just as the band geeks loved this game to pieces, us normal folks do too!! Even the boys who I didn't like I STILL managed to find joy in playing their routes (still have a few more to finish at the time of this posting lol, GOTTA GET THE FINAL ROUTE YO). Anyway, this game more than delivered for me and I hope more people keep discovering it!!

Belle Automata: Chronicle I [RELEASED] - While only Chronicle 1 is out at the time of this posting, I already know that the 2nd and 3rd parts are going to be just as amazing???? I wrote about this one on the side blog, so here's my copypaste that still rings true:

I love TNP (The Nightmare Prince) but Victor’s route hit the sweet spot for me. Maybe it’s the slow(er) burn nature of this route, maybe it’s the reserved nature of Victor and watching him slowly start to care (AND NOT KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH THOSE FEELINGS TEEHEE) for me.

A Date with Death - I wrote about this on the side blog--again--. The demo. And then right after finishing a route. And then again where I was fully awake and still managed to sound deranged. No copypaste for that, I shall be nice. But yeah!! Another game where I was screaming at the sky about how much I love it and how I'll never know peace as long as I live.

Our Life: Baxter DLC - I need to offer an official apology to both Cove and Derek because falling head over heels, down the stairs, crashing into the parking lot, falling again but down a manhole for Baxter's infuriating ass was NOT on my 2023 bingo board??? HELLO???? I bought his DLC just to complete my OL collection. Was not expecting to love it this much. Was not expecting to be called to write fanfic and abandon all responsibilities to do this. WHILE DOWN WITH COVID TOO. Allow me to play the song of my people. *Send in the Clowns plays*

Our Cinderella - (this is so funny I'm taking about a side game before the main game LOLOLOLOL) Guys. Guysss. You guyyyysss 🥹if you're looking for a cozy, hilarious, equally oddly and wonderfully sweet short game, this is the one!! You may have your personal favorite Iggy ship (like me) but all the pairings are so amazing and just make sense lol!

Wylde Flowers - This is the only non visual novel game on here but it gets the spotlight because I did NOT spend 90+ hours on this game to gatekeep this beauty. No. It the coziest, the funniest, the funnest, the most addictive Switch game (after Teacup) I've ever played.

Fully Released (& still on 1st playthrough)

Garden of Seif: Chronicles of an Assassin - Life kicked my butt and then sat on me SO while I finally got my grubby hands on the full copy, I still have only played the entirety of the demo. But. We will return to this in 2024 and hopefully I'll have a full review for the next wrap up!

Our Wonderland - I looked back at the side blog and I can't believe it was only THIS year that I started OW??? Because I'd known of the game and the dev for longer than that??? So basically what I'm saying is that I was chicken shit for longer than I've been in love with this world that Developer Carrot has created kjzhhshggj. But OMG to get me, who is scared oh so easily to get hella invested in this clearly labeled horror game??????????????? And even with shit gets super absurd and hella disturbing, I cannot stop playing. At the time of this post, I'm only in Act 4, hence the category above, but it's only because I play each act in a sitting and lose track of space and time and myself. That's a compliment btw.

...

Okie!! That's 2023 in a nutshell! I played a looooot of really good games this year and while I would have liked to talk about them all, I think this list provides a nice overview.

Let me know if we share any favorites!

- Gemini 💛

#gaming year in review #gamedev rambles #yeah no I cannot keep creating more work for me #2024 I am GOING to make a shorter list 😭🤧#hmmmm fun drinking game:#take a shot every time the word 'mystery' is used ☠️

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why-animals-do-the-thing · 18 days

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If you don’t mind sharing, since you don’t work for a zoo what is your job situation like? Making a living while working at a definitely zoo seems tricky. Is your main income zoology/animal related or is that more of a side thing?

Sincerely,

- a curious zoology student

I have a (mostly) unrelated jobjob - I’ve never actually been affiliated with a single facility, unless you count college internships before I started this blog. I freelance, working as a science media fact-checker and taking paid research contracts occasionally. I do work on a lot of animal / biology related fact-check content, but it’s not my entire scope of work. I also have the privilege of having family assistance, as I have chronic health issues that interfere with the normative 9-5 grind.

Everything I do in terms of blog writing/research, zoo industry research and publication, and photography is unpaid and pretty much a hobby at this point.

Prior to the pandemic I was trying to find funding for the intra-industry research and public-facing outreach I was doing, but there was never any money for it. (The industry is very used to expecting labor from young women for free. There was and is a lot of interest in the work I do, but the number of people/orgs that have ever provided compensation or financial support is in the single digits). The pandemic actually gave me the chance to pivot to focusing on professional fact-checking.

The only funding I get for any of this work is through a somewhat defunct Patreon I set up years ago when I was trying to make this blog / scicomm a full time gig. I’m terrible at updating it, and I’m conflicted enough about that to have been considering deleting it entirely. (For those of you who have stuck it out despite the radio silence, you’re incredible. You’ve facilitated the donation of my time to write a really cool paper with a zoo disaster response org, which will hopefully get through peer review soon).

To make something like this blog and everything else I do in the field actually financially sustainable, I’d need to fundraise and market more. The thing about a fact-checking career, though, is that it’s reinforced the need to make sure everything I write/say publicly is completely and 100% correct - because that level of rigor is what supports my professional reputation! Which means I’m slow to produce research and reticent to talk about it before it’s finished. My work comes out all the better for it, but it doesn’t fit into a content model that produces revenue.

So yeah, all of this is a side thing that I fit in around my paid work and my health. Because sometimes I just need to go see a tiger and smell an elephant, y’know?

#personal information #zoo job almost always require multiple incomes or family support #or generational wealth #otherwise you live in poverty #I am on a very non traditional industry path and it definitely does not pay either #but it’s a passion project

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itzalizeyyy · 10 months

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GOODBYE POST + MAIN POINTS OF NON-DUALISM

Hii everyone! Its alizey here, and this will be my last post. I just wanted to say a goodbye and to let you all know I will not be on tumblr anymore. I was not here for a long time to begin with, which was my plan, since I intended to be on here only to learn about my true self and to help others along the way.

I receive more than enough information to know my true self. I never felt so at peace before. And I think it is best to distance myself from any other information to avoid over-consuming.

I already know all I needed to know, and I am satisfied.

I am happy if I helped even a couple of people. Many of you had helped me too. My blogs will still be kept up. You can always go back to them anytime.

Whenever I need a reminder to know who I am, I have it all safe and documented in my notes. Which consists of several screenshots, quotes, messages from amazing, incredible non-dualism bloggers.

I will like to share that with you the main points I learned regarding non-dualism as my last attempt to help you all. If you guys aren’t at that level of peace, satisfaction, and full on knowing of who you are, you will be. Don’t worry.

MAIN POINTS:

• Your true self is pure and absolute awareness. Therefore, you can continue to project more forms of awarenesses, but that is only an projection of you, and never you as a whole.

• You are naturally formless. Your purpose is to be aware, not to be defined. Therefore, your forms can’t defined you. They are simply options for you to experience, and that is all. You can choose what forms to be out of everything that you already are.

• Before, awarenesses was not aware that they were an awareness in the first place. And so they get emotionally involved with their own forms, with their own products, and fail to realize they were the producer this whole time.

• it became a habit for an awareness to inaccurately identify themselves with their forms. There is nothing wrong with the form/ego itself. The ego is what it supposed to be, what it is conditioned to be. The form cannot control what the true self identifies with. All awareness needs to do is to simply break that habit, and the realization will be awaken. Which is realizing awareness is above everything, because it is everything itself, and the thoughts of a small ego can NEVER change that solid fact.

• Awareness is the only true reality. And like mentioned, it can continue to produce more FORMS of realities, but these forms, these realities aren’t actually real. Just because the ego feel like its real doesn’t mean that it is. The ego feel like its real which is based off the human senses, which is, you guess it, also an unreal thing.

• Don’t live as the form, don’t live as the character, simply observe and witness the character and all the stories that comes with that. It feels serious when you COMPLETELY identify with that character only. But once you realize that was never your identity in the first place, then these forms are never serious or harmful to awareness.

• if you continue to be ignorant of your true self, you will continue to project more forms of limited and repetitive reality. And to fight that, rather than accepting who you are, will continue to even produce further of that reality. No need to fight the form because the form is not the problem itself. Simply Wake up. Be awaken. Disregard, detach, disengage of everything you thought you were, because it is all unreal anyways, and you realize awareness is the only true reality that will always remain.

• You can choose what exist and what does not exist. So for the experiences that you don’t want to exist, then..what value is it to you? Freedom means to let go. So, just let it go, and just be what you want to be.

• Remember, you are not bound or limit to ANYTHING. You are naturally bodiless, mindless, formless, timeless. Behave as the ultimate being, as the ultimate creator. In other words, realize that you are the shit !!! Because you are !! You are awareness. It can’t get more badass than that.

• awareness doesn’t see bad or good. Awareness doesn’t have preferences. It is completely neutral about everything. All forms are equal. Ego is the one with opinions, that puts on labels, that put things on pedestals. But Realize the thoughts of an ego will never have any power.

• since all forms are equal because everything is awareness, everything is one, then being aware of “desire” is easily as accessible as being aware of these words. Being aware in imagination is the same as being aware in the physical. Just because they have different labels, or because ego feels them different, doesn’t mean that they are actually separated. Why believe the words and feelings of an ego? Which is all based off the unreal, limited human senses by the way. The unreal can never determine what the real is. The limited can never determine what the unlimited can be. Forms can never actually be what awareness naturally is, and therefore forms will always be below awareness.

• To realize your independence is to eliminate all you used to be dependent to. Such as being dependent on the human senses. Human senses is yet another form of you, therefore it will always be below you. You can’t compare a form to a source. You can’t compared the limited to the unlimited. There is nothing to compared to anyways, when they are all one in the same. Nothing is separated. You are never separated from true self, when that is who you are no matter what.

•••

Thank you guys for everything. Words cannot described how grateful I am to come across this life-changing information on here and to meet these amazing bloggers. May you all find your peace, find your true self, and to be the most free and happy beings out there !!! And as always happy non-dualing everyone!!

#non dualism #conciousness #non duality #nondualism #nonduality #observer

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burntheedges-updates · 10 months

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Preview: Over Again

pairing: Joel Miller x fem!reader

This is my updates-only blog! Follow me at @burntheedges

summary: you fell in love with Joel Miller in Austin, Texas, in 2001, but you thought you lost him in 2003 when the world turned upside down. now it's 2024, and you find the surprise of your life waiting for you in Jackson, Wyoming.

or, 5 times you and Joel fell deeper in love, on both sides of the apocalypse

a/n: this is an excerpt from a longer fic that is almost finished! check back soon (or follow) for the full fic. I haven't written anything in like 15 years, and Joel Miller dragged me back in. sharing this as part of the Pedro Pascal cinematic universe discord server event! join us!

warnings: 18+, minors DNI in this excerpt - banter, a little bit of pining, but mostly fluff. reader is 26, Joel is 33 (at this time - picture him just like he looks in that gif ^^). for the full fic - a teensy bit of angst (plus the angst of thinking the other person is dead for 20 years (apocalypse)), cursing, wall sex, will add the full list once I have it... I’m trying to have a reader with as little description as possible (in this excerpt they’re a person with hair) but please let me know if you see anything I should change.

wordcount: 2300 (for this preview)

Main post & chapter list | chapter 1 | ao3

Austin, TX, Spring 2001

On Sunday, you changed your outfit 5 times before telling yourself to get a grip and putting back on the first thing you had pulled out of your closet, 45 minutes before. Joel had seen literally all of these clothes before, he’d lived next door to you for 6 months. Get it together. You looked at yourself in the mirror, messed with your hair one last time, and then forced yourself to leave the bathroom and head downstairs.

In the kitchen, you glanced at the clock – 5:54pm – and picked up the cookies you baked that morning, heading next door to the Millers’.

You knocked on the door, and after a few moments with no response you knocked again. Odd. You put your ear to the door and heard music, and Sarah laughing. You tried the door and realized it was unlocked.

As you crossed the threshold you called out, “Millers? Anyone home?” Inside you could more clearly hear the music coming from the backyard, so you left the cookies in the kitchen and headed towards the back door.

You found the backdoor open, and you could hear Sarah laugh again as you moved closer. “Dad come on, you stepped on my toes!”

“Sarah Miller, I raised you not to tell lies.” Joel sounded out of breath, but he was laughing as he said it.

“Well, that’s definitely a lie if I ever heard one.” Tommy jumped out of the way as Joel steered Sarah right into him in retaliation. You leaned in the doorway, smiling as you watched Joel lead Sarah around the yard to Rie y Llora. They hadn’t noticed you yet.

“Celia Cruz, huh?”

All three Millers turned at your question, all three smiling at you. It was a little overwhelming, as always, to have the attention of all three at once. Sarah elbowed her dad lightly and laughed, saying, “She’s Abuela's favorite.” Joel rolled his eyes. “It’s good music to learn to,” he muttered, clearly not for the first time.

“It looks to me like Sarah already knows what she’s doing.” You smiled at the look he shot your way.

“Ha! See, dad?”

“Sure, baby girl. Why don’t you go take Uncle Tommy for a spin, since you know what you’re doing.” With that, Joel spun Sarah towards Tommy, who caught her easily and started leading her around the yard. You laughed, and then looked back towards Joel. He was watching you with that half smile that always gave you goosebumps.

“Do you know how to dance, darlin’?”

“In a club? Sure. Like that? No way.”

He grinned at your answer. “Want to learn?” He held his hand out, guiding you towards him once you placed your hand in his.

“I’ve never danced like this before. I’ll probably stomp all over your feet.” Joel placed your right hand on his shoulder, and took your left hand in his right.

“You let me worry about where our feet go. I’ll show you the basics and then you just follow me.” And over the next 15 minutes, that’s exactly what he did.

Soon you found yourself slowly moving around the yard to Lambada, definitely slower than the music called for. At some point Tommy and Sarah went inside to work on finishing dinner, but you barely noticed. You were focusing on keeping up with Joel.

Just as you started to feel a little bit confident, a slow song that you didn’t know started to play. Joel slowed the two of you as well, starting to sway in place instead of moving around so much. He pulled you a little closer with his left hand around your waist.

Catching your breath, and taking your focus off of your feet, you asked, “what brought this on? I don’t think I’ve ever come over to find y’all mid-dance-lesson before.”

“Sarah’s got that school dance coming up and she’s a bit nervous.” He laughed, shaking his head. “I tried to tell her I only know how to do this and a few of those line dances they do in the clubs Tommy goes to. Not whatever dancing they’ll be doing — probably closer to your club dancing.” He winked at you, and you held on a little tighter to his shoulder. “But then she reminded me that her cousin’s party is coming up, anyway, and they will definitely be dancing just like this. So, we were practicing.”

“Cousin?” You asked, confused. Tommy didn’t have kids, and you were pretty sure there were no other Miller siblings.

“Ah, technically it’s my cousin’s kid, on my mom’s side. Easier to just say cousin.” He shrugged. You nodded.

“Well, you did a good job teaching me. Bet that’ll be a fun party.”

You realized at that point that you had slowly swayed in the direction of the trees along the back of the yard. You were under the shade of one of the trees, partially out of view from the house. You'd moved closer together as the dance slowed and you found yourself with your right hand on his neck, fingertips almost touching his hairline. Your eyes darted from his arms, holding you securely, to his shoulders, flexing under his shirt, up to his face.

You looked up to find Joel was looking right back at you. “See something you like, darlin’?” He smirked. You felt a rush of warmth towards your face, but you weren’t really embarrassed. You felt like your whole body was tingling, like you were heading towards something you’d been hoping for for months. Like you were racing forward and up ahead there was a cliff you might fall off of, but you’d fall together. Like the fall was the point, the destination. Your breath caught in your throat. “Maybe I do, neighbor.” He grinned in response, tugging you just a bit closer. Any closer and you’d feel him pressed against you everywhere.

“I know I do.”

“What?” You’d lost track of the conversation. His proximity was going to your head.

“See something I like.” As he responded, he let go of your hand and brought his right hand up to cup your face. You saw him glance from your eyes to your mouth and in response, you pressed closer, winding your right hand into his hair. Joel leaned in, and you barely felt the touch of his lips to yours, when the back door opened and Tommy shouted, “dinner’s ready, love birds! Get in here!”

Joel groaned as he stepped away from you, resting his hands on your shoulders. “I guess we should head inside.” As he said it, he lifted one hand to trace his fingertips along your cheekbone before running his hand lightly over your hair. “Stick around after dinner? I’d like another dance.” You smile as he reaches down to take your hand and lead you toward the house, walking backwards and keeping his eyes trained on yours.

“Smooth moves, Miller. Save some for later.”

He’s still smiling, but suddenly you feel the intent in his gaze, more focused than even a moment ago. “Oh darlin’, don’t worry. For you, I got plenty more.”

—-

Dinner with the Millers was always fun, and this occasion was no different. Tommy and Sarah teased Joel mercilessly, and he got them right back, though he was always a little softer with Sarah.

You talked and joked over dinner, noting Joel had made one of your favorites - pepper chicken - and he winked at you when you thanked him for it. After dinner Sarah rushed upstairs to talk to a friend on the phone as Tommy headed out the door (“to do some real dancing, y'all should come out sometime”). You were left with Joel in the kitchen, clearing the table together and starting in on the dishes.

“You don’t have to help with that, I can get it.” You bumped your hip against his as he slid in next to you at the sink.

“It’s no bother, Joel. Let me help.” He smiled at you, softly, and nodded, picking up the towel to dry the dishes.

You worked quietly together, sometimes recalling a joke from dinner, but you were mostly just enjoying the quiet moment. As soon as you handed him the last dish he set it aside, still wet, to take your hand and lead you back outside. He switched the music back on, low, as you passed the boombox.

As he stepped into the yard, Joel turned and pulled you back into his arms, into the slow dance stance you had only just left before dinner. But this time he pulled you close from the start, tucking you up against him and smoothing his hand across your lower back. “Well hello there, darlin’. Fancy meeting you here.”

You smiled, and rolled your eyes a little. “Hey, cowboy.” You let your fingertips play with his hair along his neck. You noticed a light shiver in his shoulders as you did. “Joel, are you ticklish?”

“No, and you better not let on to Sarah that you wondered anything of the sort.” He glared at you playfully as he said it, spinning you a little into a new spot in the yard. You laugh, winded, even though you'd barely moved.

“Hmm, seems like information that would be worth quite a bit to some people around here.” You brushed your fingers lightly across his hairline again, and he squirmed again in response.

He hid a smile, pulling you in so he could whisper directly into your left ear. “But darlin’, if you keep my secret, I’ll make it worth your while.” It was your turn to shiver. “Oh? How so?” You’d never heard your own voice so breathless.

He chuckled, and raised his left hand from your hip to your jaw, tilting your head to the right as he tucked his face into the left side of your neck. He ran his lips lightly from your shoulder to your jaw, sending prickles down your spine as you inhaled sharply. He kissed you, lightly, right at the hinge of your jaw, and then on your cheek, and then his mouth met yours, softly, barely there and then with gentle pressure. He pulled away after only a moment, and you met his eyes in a daze. His gaze was dark, and you felt like you were moving through molasses. Everything was slow, and soft, and heady. You felt like you were floating and Joel’s hands on you – your cheek, your left hand – were the only things keeping you tethered.

Joel murmured your name. “Let me take you out.”

“When?” Your reply fell from your lips so quickly it made him smile, and you smiled back, unashamed.

“Friday? Sarah’s got a sleepover.” He smoothed his thumb over your cheekbone. “We can go dancing, show off these moves.” You laughed.

“Joel, I’ve barely got 1, maybe 2 moves. You sure we don’t need another dance lesson before we take this show on the road?”

He huffed a laugh, and spun you a little. “Just follow along with me, darlin’, I won’t let you stumble.”

You bit your lip, and nodded. “Friday.”

“Friday,” he agreed, pulling you in again. As his lips met yours again, you wondered how you were going to wait 5 days for this. Joel pulled himself away with a small groan, resting his forehead against yours. “We should stop before we get too carried away, with Sarah home.” You nodded.

You danced a bit more, finishing out the last couple of tracks on the CD. Joel kept his forehead against yours at first, and then tucked your head into his chest, resting his cheek on top of your head, slowly swaying as the last song trailed off into quiet.

You didn’t want to let go quite yet, and it seemed Joel didn’t either, as neither of you moved. You could feel your happiness at finally taking the leap together glowing in your chest – from dancing around each other to an actual dance, the months of flirting had finally gotten you somewhere. But you couldn’t help but wonder.

“Joel? Why now?” You asked it softly, face still tucked into his chest. He hummed lowly in response before pulling back to meet your eyes. He regarded you silently for a moment before seeming to come to a decision.

“I think we both felt it, from that first day. You were — you are — the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen, and I knew I wanted you, but I wanted something real. I haven’t dated anyone in a long, long time. I wanted to take it slow, and get to know you first. But darlin’, I realized the other day, when you were here with Sarah, that maybe there’s a line between taking it slow and just being afraid, and I was flirting with it. And I’d rather be flirting with you.” He grinned as you rolled your eyes a little bit at his joke. “I’ve been afraid, for a long time, of letting someone in when it’s not just me I have to worry about. But Sarah loves you.”

“And I love her, Joel. That girl is special.” He smiled, and nodded. “I know you do. And she’s been teasing me about asking you out for months.”

“Oh yeah? Well you should know better than to ignore her advice, Joel.”

He sighed, long-suffering, and nodded. “I know it.”

Joel started to head towards the house, right hand reaching for your left. You felt a little shaky, like you really had been floating for the last half hour. As you approached the front door, he squeezed your hand and pulled you into another hug. “I’ll see you Friday, darlin’.”

“You sure will, cowboy.” He smiled and pulled you in for another kiss.

“Now get, before we get any bad ideas.” You laughed, and headed out the door he opened for you. “Night, darlin’.”

“See you Friday, Joel.”

—

a/n: follow for the whole fic! coming soon :)

#joel miller x reader #joel miller x f!reader #joel miller fic #pedro pascal discord server event #tlou fic #tlou fanfiction #this is my first fic in years please be nice

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beautifulpersonpeach · 7 months

Text

For the Anon who sent me a personal ask on how they became a Jimin bias, you asked me not to post it so I won’t, but much of what you said I relate to a lot, for the rapline especially. That’s the problem. I’m barely keeping it together with just three of them. Adding Jimin to the mix will completely ruin me.

I know it.

Y’all don’t know me in real life so it might sound like I’m exaggerating lol, but I’ve watched all seven members in BTS since debut. The opinions I have of every member today hasn’t changed that dramatically from my initial impressions of them. The things I love about Jungkook, Taehyung, SeokJin, Jimin, and the rapline, haven’t changed much for me. It’s just intensified. Meaning that the longer I’ve watched Jimin, the more I’ve felt the need to, sort of, make space for him. Because he’s just so…. he’s too much. When he’s cute, he’s *too* cute. Jimin is too hot, too intense, too kind, too pretty, too masculine, too feminine, when his voice goes high it’s *too* high, when it’s gritty it’s *too* gritty, too metallic, too everything. Jimin is too much. He demands a lot. He’s just like Yoongi in that way. Hoseok kinda just walks in and takes what is his. Namjoon kinda just stands there and those who belong to him find themselves crawling to him.

Jimin demands the world stop spinning, he forces space-time to freeze in place while he commands your full attention.

Jimin has always been… Jimin. It’s hard to explain. I know there’s this view that most of the fandom hates him, but hard as this might be to believe, I’m convinced it’s actually the opposite. Everybody sees him. And most people love him. He just inspires a particular kind of insanity in a lot of people, unfortunately including some very unstable and abusive people, and because he and the rest of the maknaeline happen to have the most biased fans, the rest of the fandom has to lock those parts of the fandom out the main spaces, and try to control for it. Very Imperfectly.

Anyway.

You also asked for my fave pics of my biases but y’all should know I never post those lmaoooo.

Here’s a few random ones for you though.

(My friends always said JK would be the first to bias wreck me, and there’s still potential for this, but I have to be honest that Jimin got here first)

And stretching with Hobi :)

I miss SeokJin so here’s one for him too:

Taehyung meanwhile, has yet again fallen my hand, as we say back home. Godspeed to the ARMYs saying they’ll educate him because he’s really too pretty and too old to be acting a fool on live. Bada Lee might not know better (doubtful) but he really has no excuse.

My honest reaction:

Anyhoo, thanks for that write-in Anon. I love that you’re in such a happy place in fandom now, you’ve found a way to balance your love for your bias with your love for the other members, and also managed to find a pocket in fandom filled with people who share your values. Thanks for everything else you said about my blog too. Maybe one day my tune on the rapline and Jimin will change (lol), but today’s not that day. 💜

#bts #jimin #jungkook #jikook #yoongi #Namjoon #hoseok #seokjin #taehyung

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thecryptidart1st · 3 months

Text

I was supposed to make this about 27 followers ago but

Thank you everyone for helping me reach 2500 followers :)

It’s been a wild year.

More important news under the cut! (in the form of a small rant)

This is a bit of a rant, but I appreciate all of you for hanging in there, but I feel like it’s important for me to share this:

It’s been officially a whole year since my longest friendship ended. Many tears have and continue to be shed; there’s some things I still feel guilt over and there’s a lot of things that piss me the fuck off to this day. And I still have mixed feelings towards my ex as a result. And it’s understandable, as it’s a wound that continues to heal slowly.

I used to worry a lot that I wasn’t being a good artist because I made a lot of art based on other people’s properties. I used to worry a lot about how Soldered Wires and The Orange Grove Boys would continue forward without my ex, cause I would run ideas with them on how to pursue the stories for both. I even worried that I would have to stop using Sammy because a lot of his character was built between the two of us (which I find it ironic given he canonically is a kid of divorce). I’m still worrying about one character in OGB because that character was based on my ex and their childhood experience.

But I kept drawing, because I realized that I was the one in control of the pen.

FNAF made me happy in times when I felt low and Michael Afton was my spirit animal, so I continued to draw FNAF. And when I felt ready, I brought Sammy back in.

And the story for Soldered Wires could be what I wanted it to go from here on out; I didn’t need anyone’s validation or guideline but my own.

And everyone who’s been following me is the result of me continuing to live my life and to keep drawing what I’m passionate about! And the positive response for The Orange Grove Boys is encouraging me to draw them again too :)

I think the best thing to come out of this breakup was the fact that I started to put myself first, instead of always putting myself second after everyone else; I finally pursued therapy, finally came out to everyone I loved, and finally embraced being Michael.

I’m still crying over what a huge relationship I had lost, and that’s okay because they were a friend since childhood. Did I miss them when I saw the Barbie movie or the FNAF movie? Absolutely! I was so worried of the empty seat next to me for a long time…

But I realize now that I opened up about my feelings to not only my family, but most of my other friends too…and when the time came, I found myself no longer worrying about the empty seat, but appreciating how many seats I had filled around me :) The highlight of my year was having almost a FULL ROW of friends and acquaintances next to me watching me freak out over the FNAF movie.

And now on this day, I can celebrate the first dosage of my HRT with them. After so much healthcare bullshit, I finally got the boy gel :)

It’ll be a long journey still for figuring out how masculine I want to appear, but I wanna thank you all for being here with me.

And I know these next few weeks are going to be difficult, as there’s going to be a death in my family very soon. So thank you all for being so patient when it comes to how often I post art for my main art blog, The Graveyard Shift & Vernal Lagomorphs as I grieve for my relative…

So once again, thank you all for being here, for engaging with my art, for helping me get through the heartbreaks and loss, and for being my support through my gender journey 💜💜💜 May another 500 peeps join us in watching me freak out over another FNAF game :P

-Michael / thecryptidart1st

#thank you #2500 followers #self doodle #mini rant #status update

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istorkyou · 7 months

Text

A Thousand Battles (A Modern Ivar AU)

A modern!Ivar x F OC (Julietta Lothbrok)

Warnings- Angst, violence, death, smut.

Synopsis - Julietta wakes up with no memory of her life or her husband, Ivar. Will it ever return? Does she want it to?

Word Count - 3113

Tag List - Let me know if you want on or off :)@smears-and-spots @punkrocknpearls @youbloodymadgenius @momowhoo @zuxiezendler @not-another-viking-fanfic-blog @ivar-s-my-brat-tamer @pieces-by-me @heavenly1927 @berryonasummerevening @synnersaint @out-of-the-box-and-into-alchemy @petite-hime @serasvictoria @mimiiinspace @itsmysticalmystery @lonewolf471 @mylifeisactuallyamess @draculasbride-blog @love-all-things-writing @southernbe @redhead7799 @kaybee87 @ivarlover @ivarhoegh @idgafiamallthefandoms @darkphoenix5037 @profoundtyrantharmony @snarling-through-our-smiles @crazyunsexycool @xceafh @noway4u @batmandallyboy @complicatedbutrare @readsalot73 @meandmycherrytree

Masterlist

Chapter 14 - Final Chapter

He is in a meeting when his phone vibrates in his pocket. Well, it’s not really a meeting, more of an information gathering session in a warehouse involving sharp instruments and spilled blood. He’s been taking on more and more of these ‘meetings’ since she disappeared, a good way to expel some of his rage and sadness productively.

He walks away from the man he is dealing with, wipes his hands on a cloth and gets his phone out to an interesting message on his screen.

One of her passports was used to get into the country three hours ago.

A smile quirks onto his lips very briefly followed by a deep inhalation of breath.

“You, take over from here. Just kill him. I’ve got the information I need now.”

He hears a gunshot behind him as he heads out to his armoured SUV to take him back to the estate.

When he arrives back he doesn’t go to the main house but straight to their house. He knows Ragnar would have got the same message and he needs to check something out first before he sees his father. He hurries to their shared closet, still full of her clothes and he pulls out the black shoes with the red soles, her stash spot, pulling out an untraceable phone. He turns it on and waits. The phone beeps twice. Two messages. Both from anonymous numbers, both from her.

Coming home. Too dangerous now.

See me before they get to me? I will come alone. I miss you so much.

He texts back quickly.

Yes. Will message soon. I love you. Thank you for all the photos last week, baby.

As he stashes the phone back he lets his finger run over the notebook that took him less than three days to decipher. One of the reasons he searched so hard for her and established secret communication. He cried for days when he broke the code and read her words. An anthology of love, dating from the night they met, describing every feeling she ever had for him, her deep love, the light he had reignited inside her after years of living in the black. Much as he had before he met her. The reasons why she acted as she did after Sardinia, the threats made against his life, the coldness she showed him when underneath she felt nothing but adoration. She explained it all in a diary she never intended for anyone to read. Her soul lives in these pages, and so does his.

Always and forever, no matter how far apart.

———————

He heads to the main house and into his fathers study.

”I am sure you’ve seen the message. She has returned.” Ragnar says without looking up from his papers.

Ivar nods. “I’ll take care of it. She will contact me soon, I’m sure of it.”

Ragnar looks up and stares into his son's eyes, carbon copies of his own. “Will you be able to finish the job this time? She cannot live, Ivar. She simply must die. If you feel like you can’t do it, or she will get the drop on you again I’ll send a whole team to hunt her down.”

“I’ll do it father. She is my responsibility. I will not fuck it up again. I’ll let you know when she contacts me and what the plan is from there.”

Ragnar nods in agreement and rounds his desk to embrace his son. “I am sorry for this, sorry it has to be done. You understand though?”

“I do. It’s been a long time coming,” Ivar says tersely, “I’ll speak to you soon.”

———————

He leaves the estate in his own vehicle, he drives for an hour and no one is following him. He pulls into a multi-storey car park and switches cars and drives for an hour to another car park and does the same.

It’s dark by the time he reaches the hotel. A shitty, off the track hotel he’d never be seen dead in usually. He walks as quickly as he can to a door and knocks three times.

The door opens a fraction and he pushes it the rest of the way, slowly revealing his wife to him. She has her gun pointed at him.

“Alone?”

“Alone, baby.” He steps in and shuts the door behind him before they walk quickly towards each other, arms pulling the other into a tight embrace, clinging to the other, tears falling.

“I missed you so much, Liet.”

“Fuck I missed you so much too.”

They pull at each other’s clothing, frantic to get the other naked as quickly as possible. When their goal is managed they fall onto the crappy, lumpy hotel bed together on their sides, her leg over his waist before he pushes her onto her back and he crawls over her, their mouths attached the whole time. She grabs his hard cock and lines him up a half a second before he pushes deep into her.

Their mirrored groans into each other’s mouths make them giggle.

“Fuck, love, you feel so good,” he says into her mouth before moving her inside of her, drawing deep, low moans from her. “I missed you every second of every day.”

“Me too, Ivar. Harder, please, harder!”

Their fingers dig into each other's skin, pulling into the other, trying to close the millimetres left between their bodies, a desperate need to feel every part of the other, a desperate need to fill the two year gap since they last were with each other physically.

It takes no time for their knowledge of each other’s bodies to kick in and they make each other orgasm. Shuddering against each other, the air blue with obscenities.

When they finally loosen their grip on the other they stay as close as possible, noses touching, laying on their sides, hands running up each other’s backs.

“Hi, baby,” he laughs out.

“Hi, love,” she giggles in reply.

They just stare at each other, who knows for how long. Long enough for him to run his hand through her longer hair. To run his fingers over some new scarring on her body. Long enough for her to touch his thigh where she inflicted a break. Long enough to revel in his eyes and compare them to his.

“Anyone since us, Ivar? Are you happy?”

“No one. No one ever again. Always and forever, baby. You?”

“Never for me, Ivar. You and only you. I need you to be happy again though. After all this.”

Ivar waves his hand as if dismissing her words. There is no point in lying to her, pretending he will ever let anyone in again so he just changes the subject.

“I did what you asked, love, I killed Lev.”

Her eyes fill with tears and she lets out a giggle of relief. “Thank you, Ivar. How?”

“I peeled his skin off slowly and I made him watch videos of us when we were happy, after the accident. He begged for your forgiveness and his life in the end, love.”

A nasty sneer flashes across her face. “Good, he deserves every second of pain you inflicted on him.”

A comfortable silence settles between them again before Ivar breaks it. “Where is he, Liet?”

“He’s safe I promise. I will need to get back to him in the early morning. That’s why I’m back, it’s too dangerous now. I’ve had too many close calls and I’m frightened for him. He needs stability, Ivar. I’m done running. I’m here to face what I need to, and to give you your son. You need to keep him safe from now on. I can’t offer him that any longer.”

Ivar knew this is why she had come back. Knew his men had almost caught her in Belize. Had heard rumours of her father almost tracking her down in Peru. Ivar almost gave himself away numerous times trying to throw them off her and their sons scent, Ragnar was suspicious at one point and that was when the Belize incident happened. He had warned her but a little too late. He begged her to bring his son back to him but she wasn’t ready.

She is ready now.

Ivar clears his throat, trying to dislodge the ball in it. “I am going to talk to my father. Things are different now, with the baby. I… I’ll talk sense into him. We can be toget…” the rest of his sentence is cut off by her lips crashing his. When she pulls away she gives him a little smile.

“Ivar. We’ve talked about this. Your father will not allow me to live, for his reputation and his own peace of mind. I knew coming back here it would be the end for me, I’m under no illusion I will not die tomorrow. I thought you had come to terms with it, baby?” She runs her hand over his furrowed brow and her thumb wipes a tear away. “Even if Ragnar allowed it, which he absolutely will not, I wouldn’t allow it. If my father knew I was back, knew about our son, he would never stop coming for me, for him. He wouldn't stop until we were all cold in the ground, everyone, your mother, father and brothers. There would be no peace until he had our son in his care. I can not allow that. I’m here so our baby can have a life without being hunted for the mistakes I made.” She is aware her voice isn’t as soft as she would like it to be, but she also knows that Ivar responds to this cold, detached hard truth. “I have loved you enough for a whole lifetime, this is how it has to be, love. You know this.”

He doesn’t reply, he nods stiffly and a silence settles between them.

“Liet. He will always know about you, I’ll never let him forget how much you love him, how much we love each other. No one will poison his mind against you.”

His heart breaks entirely to pieces as she crumbles down in front of him. She knows this is her last night on this Earth. Her actual last night this time. She is giving herself up for the sake of their baby. Their 14 month old baby who has his fathers eyes nestled in the features of his mother.

The greatest sacrifice a mother can make.

“Ivar, try to raise him out of this life. I know that won’t be easy, but send him to college, make him useful away from the violence. Make sure my father doesn’t get to him. Make sure Ragnar doesn’t ruin him. I’m trusting you with our baby, Ivar. You need to do for him what my past had robbed from me, a chance at a happy future. Be soft with him, like you are with me. Be loving and supportive no matter who he turns out to be or the choices he makes. Show him my Ivar, not the Ivar everyone else sees. Promise me?”

“I promise. I will be the best father,” Ivar says resolutely.

She gives him a genuine smile. “I have absolutely no doubt that you will.”

“Tell me more about him, baby.”

They spend the next few hours talking about him, his likes, his dislikes, how he sleeps curled up next to her every night with his favourite Elephant cuddly. She explains how rough the next few months will be for Ivar, he is his daddy but FaceTime can’t replicate a real connection. She explains how to best comfort him, what songs to sing him and how to make him laugh, what she wants for him in the future. She tells Ivar she has written letters for when he is older so he can understand what happened, but that it will be up to Ivar to judge when and if he feels their son can handle the information. Ivar says nothing, he just soaks up every word.

“I think that’s it.” She glances at her watch.”I will send you a text at 11am to tell me to meet me at 4pm. Your father will intercept it, we both know he will send someone. Just…. Just cover his eyes before, promise me you won’t both watch me die.”

“I promise. I promise you. We have 8 hours until I need to be home to get the message.”

“8 hours.”

“Those hours are for us and us only.” He reaches for his phone, and taps until the room is filled with music.

Everywhere by Fleetwood Mac.

He stands up and holds his hand out to her. “Come dance with me one last time, baby.”

Her eyes mist over again as she goes to him, clinging to him tightly. She closes her eyes, compartmentalises the coming day and enjoys every second they have remaining.

————————-

9am rolls around and it’s time for him to go.

They cling to each other before she loosens her grip and grabs his face, pulling it closer to hers.

“In the next life, Ivar. I will find you in the next and every life we have after. Look after our baby.”

He holds her face, forehead touching hers. “This life and the next. I love you. I will keep him safe. I promise on everything I am, my beautiful Liet. The bravest person I’ve ever met, my fighter, my Valkyrie.”

They share a kiss, a kiss so full of love, pain, admiration and promise that they both smile and cry as they pull away and he leaves.

—————————

His phone beeps dead on 11am.

Meet me at warehouse 2c at 4pm. Just you. I have something for you.

He enters the main house to his father waiting in his study.

“You saw the message?” he asks his Father.

“I did. I wonder what she has for you?”

“A bullet in my brain I would imagine?”

Ragnar regards him, hard eyes travelling over his face. “Take your gun. You shoot her on sight. There is nothing she has that we need, nothing she can give you worth anything. Kill her and we can all move on.”

Ivar nods quickly. “That is my plan.” He turns to walk out of his fathers office.

Ragnar waits until the heavy slam of the front door hits his ears before picking up his phone. “4pm. The docks. Set up a sniper. Kill her if he hesitates.”

——————-

Ivar pulls up to the warehouse and sits for a second. He closes his eyes and breathes deeply, trying to stop the flow of tears that have been cascading down his face the whole 45 minute ride over. His heart is ripping to shreds inside his chest, despite having years to come to terms with it, a tiny sliver of bright hope lit his black soul thinking they could be a family one day. His rational brain knew it would never happen, she told him weekly it would never be the case, but the fact that the end is now is too much for him to bear.

But bear it he must. Not for her, or himself, but for their beautiful son.

He walks into the warehouse and his trained eyes see the minuscule glint from the sniper rifle up high in the corner. He will be sure to tell his father about the snipers fuck up.

His eyes find her, standing in the centre of the massive room, her back to him. His heart stops. She hasn’t brought the baby, he can’t see his son. When he is close enough he gets his gun out and points it at her.

“Liet?”

She turns slowly, their baby asleep in her arms, she doesn’t look at Ivar, she doesn’t take her eyes off their baby, soaking in every last second she has with him. He lowers his weapon as soon as he sees his son.

“The sniper is shit, love. I spotted him the second I walked in,” she chuckles lightly, “tell Ragnar I said he needs better men.

————

The sniper can’t hear what they are saying, and neither can Ragnar watching from his office from a camera feed attached to the rifle.

“Sir, she has a baby in her arms.”

“I can see that.”

“Shall I take the shot?”

“No. Do not dare. I’m pretty sure I am looking at my grandchild.” Ragnars eyes are full of tears. It’s been years since anything elicited such emotion from him. He understands now why Ivar has tried to keep her safe these past two years, not just out of love for her, but a fathers love for his child.

Ragnar wipes his eyes and rolls his shoulder. “Be ready. This is an exchange. When it’s done I will give the word.”

—————

Julietta gives Ivar a look of pure love. “Ready, baby? When I hand him to you I need you to turn away and walk out. Don’t watch me die, love. Okay?”

Ivar’s nods twice. They step towards each other, he drops his gun on the floor so he can embrace her one last time. With their foreheads touching, and tears on their faces she hands the baby to Ivar, bends down, sniffs the baby's head and kisses him before turning her attention back to his father, placing a slow kiss on his lips.

“In the next life, love,” she says

“Always and forever,” he replies.

She takes two steps back and Ivar swivels on his heels, clinging to his son, lurching away on his crutch.

———-

“Sir, shall I take the shot now?”

Ragnar is silent. His heart is breaking for his son but he knows what must be done. Even if he saw fit to let her live Ragnar knows her own father would never stop coming for her and if he were ever to catch up with her he would torture her to death. Ragnar rolls his shoulders and clenches his teeth.

———-

Ivar hears the pop and the whizz of the bullet from the sniper fly past him. He hears the grunt from her chest on impact and he hears as she falls to the floor with a thud.

The tears in his eyes blind him, he squeezes his eyes shut to clear them. He wants to scream up into the universe, make the whole world hear his pain. But he looks into the face of his sleeping son in his arms and knows he won’t, he won’t scare him. So he holds it in, to be let out at a later time when his son is not with him.

He will be the best father to their son

For her.

His beautiful Liet.

FIN.

#modern ivar #ivar lothbrok #ivar ragnarsson #ivar the boneless #modern vikings #ubbe #modern!ubbe #modern!hvitserk #ivar x oc #vikings fanfic #vikings imagine #vikings au #vikings ivar #ivar vikings #ivar #ivar smut #ivar fanfic #ivar imagine

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kimmiessimmies · 8 months

Text

A Taste of Honey

A Taste of Honey is the ongoing story about the lives and loves of the residents of Honeycomb Valley.

Then

The story started out nameless in 2012 on my WordPress blog entitled KimmiesSimmies. At first, it was a slice-of-life gameplay-based story and showed bits and pieces of the events taking place in the lives of all residents of Honeycomb Valley. Since then the story evolved to the extent that storytelling became the main focus and it needed a title.

Now

A Taste of Honey is based around several main characters whose often intertwining lives we get to follow through the years. Every so often, another Honeycomber steps in, and the story expands.

Home

Home base to the story is my WordPress blog, kimmiessimmies.wordpress.com, where the whole story can be read in full (including summaries), all character bios can be found, and the town can be visited (currently under construction).

All story updates are also shared to this Tumblr blog and can be found using the tag #atoh. Do note that updates to the story weren't shared on here from the beginning. Lot tours and shots of the town are shared to this blog, too, and tagged #visit honeycomb.

Read from the beginning?

I created a page on here on which I post all direct links to finished chapters on my WordPress blog. I also wrote some advice on where to start if "reading from the beginning" is what you wish to do: A Taste of When It All Began

A few things you should know:

The story is often very PG, but I am an adult, and I don't shy away from adult themes and phrasing, swear words, innuendo, and occasional NSFW scenes. The latter will always be properly tagged.

Story updates containing material that could be considered triggering will be marked with a trigger warning. If you ever feel I failed to do that, please send me a message.

English is not my native language, so grammatical errors may occur. I'm also no stranger to typos. I always check my texts before I publish them, but sometimes I might miss a beat.

I'm an overly sensitive person and a worry wart, and I would appreciate it if you kept that in mind when commenting on my story. I'm not saying everything should always be rainbows and sunshine, and I absolutely welcome constructive criticism, but please do consider this.

Thank you for sticking with me. ❤️

- Kim

#ts3 #sims story #the sims 3 #A Taste of Honey #atoh #kimmiessimmies #honeycomb valley

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rosapexa · 6 months

Text

🖤 Welcome to my blog & thank you for being here 🖤

My name is Rosa, i'm from Germany, in my late 30s and married. I'm a Virtual Photographer and an amateur Cyberpunk 2077 modder. I only share my CP 2077 photos and mainly things about my OCs here but reblog everything that i enjoy.

Sometimes i share mild nsft things. If you don't like to see these, please just ignore me. Also in general if you don't like what i do and/or how i do it, then don't be rude about it and just mute or block me.

Lexa (main OC)

not V; Maelstrom member since 2072; ex Militech; known in Night City and it's surroundings as "Maelstrom's Ghost"; 30 years old in 2077; in a relationship with Johnny Silverhand since 2079 and married since 2083;

Tags: Rosa's OCs: Lexa, Character Inspiration: Lexa Ship: Lexa and Johnny, Ship Inspiration: Lexa and Johnny

Lexa (alternative universe)

V; affiliated with Maelstrom but not a full member; ex Militech and now Merc in Night City and Dogtown; Netrunner Gh0st; 30 years old in 2077; in a relationship with Johnny Silverhand since 2077 and after both survived Mikoshi; married since 2078

Tags: Rosa's OCs: Lexa (but she's V this time) ~old~ Rosa's OCs: Lexa (V) ~new~, Character Inspiration: Lexa (V) Ship: Lexa and Johnny 2.0, Ship Inspiration: Lexa and Johnny 2.0

Vala (first OC)

my original V; Nomad; ex Bakker now Aldecaldos; Netrunner and Merc in Night City and the Badlands; 32 years old in 2077; survived along with Johnny Silverhand Mikoshi; in a relationship with River Ward since 2077 and married since 2082 (ship might change in the near future); lives in the same AU as Lexa (main OC);

Tags: Rosa's OCs: Vala, Character Inspiration: Vala Ship: Vala and River

More OCs (i like creating them, ok?!)

Morgan: Rosa's OCs: Morgan

Ivy: Rosa's OCs: Ivy; Ship: Ivy and Placide

Scarlet: Rosa's OCs: Scarlet; Ship: Scarlet and Dum Dum

Agnes: Rosa's OCs: Agnes

Shay: Rosa's OCs: Shay; Ship: Shay and Royce

Other Tags: OC Ask Game; Ship Questions; Rosa's Mods Side Blog: Rosa's Virtual Worlds - For when i share other stuff than CP 2077, which is very rarely, so i'm not very active there.

Last but not least You can also find me on other Social Media sites. Mainly on Flickr where you can find photos from every game i photograph. But i'm also on Twitter, Picashot and sometimes on Instagram. Also i upload my mods to Nexus Mods. My name is everywhere "Rosapexa". If you would like to know more about my OCs you can send questions into my ask box. As everyone else i love to talk about them, mainly about Lexa (both of them), but i answer every nice (and appropriate) question about any OC (might just take a little while to reply).

#Cyberpunk 2077 #New Pinned Post

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archiveikemen · 1 year

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Liam Evans Main Story: Chapter 11

I do not own any of the Ikemen Series content being uploaded on this blog, everything belongs to CYBIRD. Please support them by downloading and playing their games.

read this before interacting with my posts

Kate: Over here … Please lend me a hand!

Kate: You’ll be alright, Liam. … We’ll take you to Roger right away.

…

A few hours after Liam was brought to the castle, he woke up covered in wounds.

Liam: … Uh… I…

Roger: You’re finally awake, you foolish cat. The young lady is on her way to report to Victor about tonight’s incident.

Roger: You should be grateful towards her. She was the one who asked Harry and El for help with carrying you all the way back here.

Liam: … I see, so it was Kate. Haha… I still became a bother to her in the end.

Roger: I’m not the least bit interested in whatever that's about, but I heard what happened while I was treating you.

Roger: You were beaten up for getting handsy with a woman. This is what you get for always giving in to other people's demands.

Liam: … I know that.

Roger: … Huh?

Liam’s eyes turned downcast and a shadow fell over his face.

Liam: It’s easier for me to fulfil other people’s desires, than to fulfil my own… much, much, easier.

Liam: Doesn't it make everyone happy when I fulfil all their desires…?

Liam: That’s why I live my life doing everything others tell me to…

Liam: However… Kate is different. I find myself willingly giving everything to her, and she doesn't ask me for anything.

Roger: …

Liam: And that isn’t all. … She even asked me, “what do YOU want, Liam?”

Liam: But I… I couldn't give her a good answer.

Liam: Until now, that still bothers me.

Roger: It bothers you…?

Liam: All I want… is to make Kate smile.

Liam: I promised that I would shine brighter on stage for her.

Roger: …

Roger ruffled Liam’s hair with brusque hands.

Liam: Wah…

Roger: Focus on healing your injuries first.

Roger: Only after you’ve recovered, then you can think about those things with that tiny brain of yours.

Liam: … Haha. You’re so harsh, Roger.

Roger: Little too late to realise that, no?

…

After taking Liam to Roger with the help of Harrison and Elbert, I went to Victor’s office in the royal palace to report to him about tonight's series of events.

Victor: … I see. Thank you for taking Liam home, Miss Kate.

Victor: I’ve heard some information about the culprit who sold the information on Liam’s past…

Victor: There have been some suspicious movements around him lately.

Kate: Also, I have something to show you. Here—

I took the letter out of my pocket and handed it to Victor.

“— You are a sinner. Admit to your sins and pray that you will cause your own demise.”

Victor: This letter…

Kate: It was amongst a bunch of fan letters sent to The Scala.

Kate: Due to the content of the letter, I kept it away so that Liam wouldn’t see it…

Kate: I had some sort of premonition that this would turn into an even larger issue if I kept it to myself, so now I’m showing it to you.

Victor: … I see.

Victor: I’m grateful that you decided to keep the letter away for Liam’s sake. Thank you, Kate.

Victor: …

Victor: Leave this letter to me. I have a few things on my mind… and can I share about this with William?

Kate: Yes, of course. Please take care of it.

Victor: Yeah.

Victor: — At any rate, Liam suffered many fresh wounds. I wish he’d take better care of himself.

Victor’s tone was full of affection, like a parent worried about his child.

(... Come to think of it, didn’t Liam say that he was scouted by Victor to join Crown?)

Kate: Why did you invite Liam to join Crown?

Victor: Hm? Why, you ask?

Kate: He told me that you were recruiting people born with curses to help fight evil with evil.

Kate: I’m sure there must be other people with curses, apart from the members of Crown… so I’m wondering what your criteria was.

Victor: Hmm, that's a very good question. You’re definitely right about the existence of other cursed people in England.

Victor raised his beautiful index finger.

Victor: Firstly, I have to be certain that the person I’m intending to recruit is indeed a cursed person.

Victor: I don’t have supernatural powers. I wouldn’t have approached him in the first place if I wasn't certain.

Victor: And finally, this is the most important criteria in my opinion — there must be a lack of freedom in his heart.

Kate: Lack of freedom…?

Victor: Kate, what do you think is something a person absolutely needs to survive…?

I was suddenly reminded of something Liam said to me back when we first met, something about “the very core of the heart”.

Kate: I think… the most important thing someone needs in order to survive is to protect what’s hidden in the very core of their heart.

Kate: If that part of them is hurt or damaged… it'll surely make their life difficult to live.

Victor: That’s right. … Yeah, I agree with your thinking.

Victor: … To me, the most important thing someone needs for survival is “freedom”.

Kate: Freedom…

Victor: Freedom has many forms. But in this case, let’s define it as the right for someone to live as their heart pleases.

Victor’s eyes that resembled a pair of gemstones and usually had a harmless sparkle in them, suddenly darkened.

Victor: To me… it seemed that Liam had lost all of that.

Kate: Victor…

Victor: And that’s why I was so pushy about recruiting him! I told myself that I would never let him go.

Victor: Liam is cool, lovely, and sexy. I fell in love with him at first sight!

I smiled and nodded, knowing that Victor’s smile was out of kindness.

Kate: … I’m sure Liam was glad to have met you, and he certainly is still grateful for that.

Victor: Kate. Once your time as a fairytale writer comes to an end, you will have the “freedom” to decide what you want to do afterwards.

Kate: … Yes.

Victor: I’d be glad if you would keep that in mind.

…

When I stepped out into the hallway, I saw my face reflected in the window.

(As for what decision I’ll make when I’m done with my role as a fairytale writer… honestly, I don't know yet.)

— But for now, I want to stay by Liam’s side.

That was an undeniable fact.

And that was not because I wanted to give back to Liam for everything he had done for me, but because “I” wanted it.

(I still haven't found the right words to say to him…)

Victor told me that Liam would be exempted from Crown’s activities until his injuries were healed.

(Oh, that's RIGHT—)

…

The next day, I woke up slightly earlier to prepare packed lunch for two people, and went to get Liam.

Kate: This way, this way. Here, come inside.

Liam: … The dance hall?

Liam looked around the dance hall that was usually used for parties.

I smiled at him and quickly took out the freshly made lunch—

Kate: Shall we have a picnic in the castle today?

Liam: Huh?

Kate: I’ve been thinking about it ever since the first time I saw this place. I thought that it’d be amazing to have a meal in such a large space.

Liam: …

Liam: Ahaha! Of course I’d love to. So this packed lunch is meant to be a sweetener?

Kate: Yes! Exactly.

Liam and I looked at each other and giggled. We then sat down in the middle of the dance hall to have our lunch.

We chatted about all sorts of little things, like the way my typewriter hadn't been working well lately, and which shop’s desserts were the best.

Liam: Fufu, I’m excited because this feels like I’m doing something I shouldn't. Also, this packed lunch is the most delicious I’ve ever had!

Liam: Thanks for inviting me, Kate.

(... This is great. He’s smiling.)

Kate: Since you went along with my plan…

Kate: If there's ever anything you want to do, let's do it together.

Liam: … ah.

Kate: Whatever you want to do, even if it's a little bit bad, I’ll gladly go with you.

Perhaps he had a specific reason for always neglecting and turning a blind eye to his own desires.

However, if that was what shaped Liam as a person, it’d be too overbearing to expect him to change.

(Therefore, I’ll be the one to accept it whenever Liam has something he wants.)

(That’s the only thing I can think of right now.)

Liam: … Why are you being so nice to me, Kate?

Kate: … Because you’re precious to me, so isn't it a given?

Liam: … Precious?

Kate: We’ve been spending a lot of time together ever since I got here.

Kate: During those times, you’ve given me a lot. Kindness, courage… those are irreplaceable things.

On the very first night, I was overwhelmed by fear and anxiety. But Liam stayed by my side, protecting my heart.

He took me to his performances, reminded me of a near forgotten dream, and “flew” in the air with me in his arms.

The things he gave me were as many as the stars in the sky, and I wanted to give back to him even just a little.

Kate: Of course I’d cherish someone like you.

Kate: And regardless of what the future brings, you will always be precious to me, Liam.

Kate: You will always, always, be.

Liam: … Always?

Kate: Such feelings of cherishing a person will not disappear easily. I’m sure of it.

Liam: … Ggh.

Liam tightly grasped my little finger resting on the floor, as if at a loss because of what I had said.

Kate: … Liam?

Liam: … You truly are an unusual person, Kate.

Kate: I am?

Liam: Yeah.

Liam: But still… thank you.

His thanks made my chest tighten tenderly.

Kate: … Mm, you’re welcome.

(Someday.)

(I hope I can share the burden that’s in Liam’s heart.)

— A few days later, I received a letter from Marie, whom I had been keeping in contact with.

It said “let’s meet up. I have something for you”.

When I arrived at the cafe Marie told me to meet her at, she was already seated and waiting for me.

Kate: I’m sorry to have kept you waiting.

Marie: It’s fine, my apologies for the sudden invitation to meet in person.

Kate: Um… what is it that you wanted to give me?

Marie: … This.

Marie: I know this won’t be enough to pay for my sins, but I thought that you’d need this.

What Marie offered me was…

— A stack of letters addressed to her, from Jacob.

Marie: Reading these letters will give you a little understanding of Liam’s past.

#ikemen villains #ikemen series #cybird ikemen #cybird otome #otome #ikevil main story #liam main story

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beladusnotsosecertdiary · 2 years

Text

I have no cure, but will my love be enough?

Fandom (picked at random since it was not requested) : Genshin Impact

Characters (picked at random since it was not requested) : Diluc, Kaeya, Childe, Al-Haitham

Type: Scenario/Headcannon

Theme: ⬜

Reader Insert: Gender Natural

Blog Rules - Please read before making a request

GI Masterlist

Main Masterlist

Synopsis: Having lived with Eleazar for most of your life, you have been treated differently by the people around you. You hated it, so when you left home - more like ran away - and met your boyfriend you decided not to say anything about it. As for starters your Eleazar is not serious still being in the stage of fatigued and peripheral paresthesia and you have medicine to help keep it under control. However, despite how well you have been keeping it from your boyfriend in the past he has finally found out about your little secret.

Honestly today had been so normal that no one would have guessed something like this would happen. That "something" would be you collapsing and giving everyone around you a heart attack. But after the initial shock and fear it was soon realized that this was bound to happen. After all you had been working very hard lately. A lot of people were surprised that it took this long for you to pass out like you did.

While you are resting in a quiet and private area, one of your coworkers sent a message to your boyfriend to come and get you. Because your workplace knows full well that once you felt okay enough, you'd get right back to work. And to ensure that you will rest properly your boyfriend is being summoned. Which while you understand, you hate it as the last thing you wanted to do was bother him as he too is almost just as if not busier than you are.

As you sit on the couch you had been previously lying on, you look at your wrist. On your wrist are harden black scales. A sign of Eleazar. Normally you have any sign of your Eleazar hidden by clothes or even bandages. No one but you and the doctors your see have seen it. Something you have kept that way since you left home.

Continuing to sit there and gaze at your wrist, you realize that you forgot to take your medicine before leaving for work. The doctor had said that missing one day would be dangerous even as you condition is surprisingly still in the stage of fatigued and peripheral paresthesia. Guess the Archons must like you if your condition has stayed the same for so long.

"[Y/n]," The worried voice of you boyfriend fills your ears. You look over startled having thought he wouldn't be here for a while. Also, you had told your coworker to give you a heads up when he arrived. "Is that ...?"

Knowing that the cat is out of the bag you only nod in response. Your boyfriend doesn't say anything as he walks over and offers you, his hand. Carefully you are brought to your feet and are led out of the lounge like area and your workplace. It was a quiet and somewhat awkward walk home.

Once home, he opens the door and allows you to head in first. You know very well that is going to ask - or straight up demand - for the explanation. He guides you over to your shared room and sits you down on the bed. He kneels before you and lifts up your sleeve allowing him to see the disgusting black scales you intended to hide from him and world as much as possible.

"Is this what your medicine is actually for?" He asks after a moment.

"Yes. I didn't lie about its purpose. Just I didn't tell the full truth." You reply now ashamed.

"Why didn't you tell me? Am I not trustworthy enough?"

"No!" You almost shout. "This has nothing to do with trust. ... I have always been controlled my condition. Confined to my bed even when the doctors said that I could move around a little. Not that I believe you would have done the same. But at the same time, I didn't want to be treated similarly to how I was back then. I know that normal is different for people, although I didn't want to be treated like glass for the rest of my life."

"I understand. I won't try to put myself in your shoes. But I wish you had told me."

"I know and I'm sorry. Honestly, I think I would have told you eventually. Just at the right time I suppose."

His personal thoughts, what he says and what happens moving forward

Diluc

Thoughts:

While he is still very much upset that you didn't tell him about your condition, he could never truly be mad at you

He knows well that any medical condition, especially Eleazar, is not easy to talk about with others

What he says:

"There is nothing to be sorry for my dear. I know that you don't want others to know, but at the very least we should inform Adeline. Her help will make things easier. I don't want something like this to happen again."

What happens moving forward:

Adeline is told and she agrees not to say anything about it until you do

Diluc also has been on top of reminding you about taking you medicine, in addition he makes sure that you get your refill as soon as possible

You also decided to tell your boss and a trusted work friend in the event of another incident

But overall, there is no real change in the relationship, though Diluc is ten times more worried about you than he already was

May or may be deciding on setting up a research fund for Eleazar so that there may one day be a cure for it

Kaeya

Thoughts:

He had a feeling that you weren't telling him something

But everyone has their secrets and if they want the secret to say that way then he won't judge

What upsets him is that he found out in probably the worst way possible

And he has every intention on keeping your secret

What he says:

"I don't blame you for keeping this from me. I would too if I were you, especially after being locked up like you were. Don't worry I won't be anywhere as overbearing but do forgive me for worrying about you. I love you after all."

What happens moving forward:

He gets into the habit of asking if you have taken your medicine before leaving as a reminder

If he has to get up early and be gone before you get up, he'll leave little notes all over the house

Can and will send Klee to check on and spend some time with to watch over you because he knows damn with well that you can't say no to Klee (He would know because he can't say no to her either)

Childe

Thoughts:

His first thought is to call up Zhongli

Zhongli still has some godly powers, right? Surely, he can cure you

If there is one thing Childe hates is helplessness which is one of the reasons why he continues to get stronger

Either way, Childe is going to bring up to the Consultant the next time he sees him

With your permission of course but first he needs to see if Zhongli can do it

What he says:

"If you think that I'm leaving you, you got another thing coming baby. You've always been my corner even while knowing who I am and the things I have done. Now it's time that I return the favor."

What happens moving forward:

Saying on top of making sure that you have taken your medication

Makes sure you get your prescription refill as quickly as possible

Helps you hide the black scales and will occasionally kiss them

Went to Zhongli about curing you, Zhongli says he might be able to

But reminds Childe that as Morax, Zhongli was a warrior not a healer

Al-Haitham

Thoughts:

He's a genius knew exactly what was going on with you

However, he wanted you to tell himself in the event he was wrong even as it was every obvious to him

He knows that the head forest ranger is actually pretty well versed in medicine and decides to ask him sometime for things that may help

He plans on doing any and everything he can to help you through this

What he says:

"I know that this is difficult for you. This sickness has already taken up so much of your life. I promise that it will not take away anything else from you. I love you, [Y/n]. Just say the word, I'll do it."

What happens moving forward:

True to his word Al-Haitham does any and everything you ask

Feeling dizzy or fatigued even? He'll find you some place to sit and get you a glass of water

Numbness anywhere? Tell him what needs doing and he'll do it

His roommate Kaveh watches baffled and wondering how you made one of the most stubborn and unreasonable people he knows into a butler

Did take you to see Tighnari where you both met Collei who also suffers from Eleazer

Not only did you learn of some remedies that could help with your Eleazar, but you also made a friend who is going through the exact same thing

Thank you for reading, and good luck on pulling for Tighnari and Zhongli!

#genshin impact #genshin diluc #diluc ragnvindr #diluc headcanons #diluc x y/n #genshin kaeya #kaeya alberich #kaeya headcanons #kaeya x y/n #genshin childe #childe #childe headcanons #childe x y/n #genshin al haitham #al haitham #al haitham x reader

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dragoncult-handmaiden · 11 months

Text

Engvall x Fem!Tarnished!Reader Relationship Headcannons (SFW)

answered an ask on my main blog (@lycheedr3ams) for @x-hey-jude-x

These headcannons will operate separately from my Banished Love fic since the reader is not tarnished in that story. I am long-winded so my headcannons are more like drabbles

Life in the Lands Between is not easy, and Engvall knows this all too well. Despite choosing to protect a lordless castle for the rest of his days, his first priority is protecting you. Even if you’re just going to collect herbs or take a bath in the stream, Engvall insists on accompanying you everywhere. And, um, you can’t exactly argue with an over 6 foot tall knight XD

You and Engvall share a large room in the castle he chose to protect. He himself doesn’t mind sleeping on a hard bed or on the floor, but since you sleep with him every night, he would not let you rest until he found the best blankets available. Your comfort is very important to him, and it helps him rest better at night.

Speaking of sleeping. This man is always cuddled into you or touching you in some way. I imagine the emotional toll of being banished is pretty tough, and Engvall appreciates that you’re always there for him. Whether it’s an arm around your waist, him spooning you tightly against his chest, or your arm and leg lazily flung over his body, he always wants some sort of contact with you when you both are asleep. He is always the big spoon, just bc of how large he is, and he enjoys protecting you even in his sleep. Given how tall he is, he gives off a ton of body heat, and you wake up pretty sweaty in the mornings

Sorry, but Engvall cannot cook very well. He can cook well enough to survive while traveling or just to get by, but it is by no means a 5-star meal. he burns most of his food. He avoids embarrassment by saying he prefers his food to be “crispy”. He has trained his whole life with his halberd and armor, not with pots and pans. Engvall loves it when you cook for him! He will sit patiently and watch you cook like you're the only thing that matters in the world. He’s usually very hungry since his daily activities expend a lot of calories, so be prepared to cook at least three plates for him to be full. But with how lovingly he watches you cook, you wouldn’t mind making food for him all day

Touching again on the protectiveness. He’s extremely overprotective, and a little possessive. If he sees someone else in the castle looking at you for too long or flirting with you, this man will stalk up silently behind you and just death stare at the person trying to get with you. His presence is enough to make anyone fold, so it’s always successful. Once you turn around after the person you were talking to runs away in fear, he instantly becomes your Engvall again, just with a slightly deadly twinkle in his eye

He needs a decent amount of reassurance, especially if he finds out someone was hitting on you. Engvall has little to no money of his own despite his title, and your living means are in no way comfortable. He’s scared you’ll leave him for someone who has more money and resources to give you a better life. But you always tell him that you don’t care about money or status or material things, you just want him, and that he’s the best partner anyone could ask for

Engvall loves it when you help him into his armor. I don’t even think it would be possible for him to put on all that armor by himself. He loves watching the way your fingers glide over the metal and buckle everything in place, and how your eyebrows furrow if something gets stuck. He looks at you so love-sickeningly that it makes your heart flutter. Engvall will track you down in the castle to ask you to help him into his armor even though there are tons of other people around who could easily do so. He says that you put on his armor just the way he likes <3

Engvall really does not want you to become elden lord. The path to doing so is riddled with death and despair, and he would be destroyed if something happened to you. If you want to be the elden lord, he will try to dissuade you at every chance he can get. If you end up setting out traveling the Lands Between to become elden lord, he will be with you every step of the way to ensure nothing happens to you at this rate, he might just become elden lord bc he doesn’t want you to fight anyone)

Engvall is pretty quiet even when alone with you, but you are his peace. When he is silent during his duties, it is because he has to maintain a watchful, cautious eye at all times. But when he’s quiet with you, wrapped up in a blanket in front of the fire and playing with your hair, he’s quiet because his love has no need for words. He will tell you he loves you sometimes, it is just hard for him to voice it. As a knight, he's a man of actions, not words. the only words he really ever had to say was his oath when he was sworn

Likes and reblogs are appreciated!!!

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ack3rlady · 2 years

Text

Distance Makes the Heart Grow Fonder

Summary: Your husband Erwin is away on a business trip, and you miss him... a little too much.

Pairing: Erwin Smith x Fem!Reader

WC: ~ 3.3k

A/N: In response to this ask by 💦 Anon. The fic basically stemmed from the picrew I created of Erwin up in the header, where he looks so damn stunning (as if he doesn't already otherwise)

CW: Modern AU, Established relationship, Minors and Ageless Blogs DNI - Outdid my previous works with the filth :'), Phone (video) sex, dirty talk, masturbation - male and female, vaginal fingering, pillow humping, sex toy usage (vibrator), Levi Ackerman is about to get really mad.

MAIN MASTERLIST | ERWIN SMITH MASTERLIST

The clock struck 9 PM and you sighed sufferingly for the millionth time, playing with the leftover food in your plate. The dining table for two, only half occupied. The look on your face was dull when you raised your gaze to stare at the empty chair opposite to you. One that was usually occupied by your doting husband but lay vacant at this moment.

Evenings without Erwin were excruciating. Four days had passed since he left for a business trip across the country and wouldn’t be back for three more. In the meanwhile, you were left alone to spend a whole week in your shared home that seemed almost haunted in his absence. And you were only halfway through. The thought itself made your heart ache.

Lively conversations were replaced by a dreaded silence and his warm presence, by a cold nothingness. You trudged towards your room after washing the dishes and putting the surplus food back in the fridge. You were too used to cooking for two.

Oh! How you missed him.

The sheets puffed and then deflated when you plopped onto the bed. Another sigh escaped your lips upon turning over to face his side of the bed, thumping your feet against the mattress in frustration at not having him lying there.

Erwin’s shirt hung loosely around your frame as you thought of the times when you’d be snugly wrapped in the warmth of his arms every night after dinner. How those moments came and went, and you took them for granted. And now that he wasn't here, your ears longed to hear his voice, and skin prickled where you remembered feeling his touch.

Burying your face in Erwin’s pillow, you filled your lungs with the lingering fragrance of him – a dizzying amalgamation of his coconut shampoo, tea-tree aftershave and oud cologne. You hugged it tight in a desperate attempt to feel him close.

The image of him was vivid before your closed eyes, as if he were laying right there and hugging you in return. You could practically feel the searing trails his fingers left on your back when he caressed it absentmindedly whilst doing his nightly reading. How his lips were soft and warm, and tongue, pleasantly course when he kissed you good night.

You ran your hands over your neck, biting down on your lips while dreaming of the sloppy kisses and rosy bruises he left there not too long ago. Bringing them down to your breasts, you tried to squeeze them the best you could; not even close to emulating the feeling of his large, strong hands. Oh, his hands! The things he’d done to you with them. They could show you a sky full of stars in broad daylight. If only he was here right now.

But he wasn’t. Hadn’t been for four whole days. Four days since he had been around you; on you... in you. The heat in between your legs was mounting up, and you pressed your pelvis into the bed to relieve it. Your hands snaked further south in an effort to put out the fire, lifting the hem of Erwin’s shirt to creep up on your parched clit. You only just began to rub slow circles on it, before being rudely interrupted by the buzzing of your phone.

‘This better not be work,’, you snarled, turning towards the nightstand to check who it was; heart skipping a beat when Erwin’s name appeared on the screen.

‘Maybe he’s finally back at his hotel room,’ you thought.

“Hi, my love. How was your day?” Erwin’s voice was sweet as usual on the other end.

"Hey, baby. My day was okay. And yours?” you asked, playing with the corner of his pillow.

“Mine’s still ongoing. Doesn’t look like I'm going to finish any time soon,” he sighed. “There’s so much to do. But I took a break because and all I can think of is how much I miss you.”

The sharp ‘tch’ in the background was a sign that Levi was also in the room, and obviously repulsed by Erwin’s blatant display of affection. You chuckled at how little it took to bug your husband’s business partner.

“I miss you too,” you lamented. “A bit too much.”

“A bit too much? What's that supposed to mean?” he asked innocently.

“You know... I was lying in bed and thinking about you and the times we’ve had here,” the tone of your voice was slowly changing. “Especially the night before you left, when we...”

You were abruptly cut off by his coughing. There was a bit of shuffling on the other end, followed by Erwin’s faint voice asking Levi to excuse him for a moment. You smirked to yourself imagining how flustered your husband probably looked right now – wide eyes, pink cheeks, jittery hands, a sweat beginning to break on his forehead. So cute.

“You gotta be more careful when you say these things, sweetheart!” Erwin was back. “You know how loud these phones can get. Levi could've heard you!”

“Well, now that he’s gone, do you want to see how much I miss you?” you sang.

Before Erwin could ask what you meant by that, he was faced with a videocall request that he accepted quickly. Not long after, his handsome, yet weary face occupied most of your screen. His tie was loose, blazer and glasses off, with the top few buttons of his powder blue shirt undone. His hair was tousled after having run his fingers through them far too many times - A habit he picked up while engrossed in work.

His expressions visibly softened upon seeing your face, as did yours after seeing his. His beautiful wife that he could never get enough of. The smile that had the power to turn even the darkest nights into sunny days. Erwin slumped in his chair, resting his cheek on his palm.

“I miss you so much,” he repeated “I can’t wait to see you again.”

“I miss you too, love. And I think I have something in mind that might make the wait easier,” you crooned, rather mischievously. Mischievously enough for Erwin to begin deciphering where this conversation was going.

“You have my full attention,” he declared, eyes pinned to the screen as he got up to make sure the door to his office was locked.

He was back in his seat in a flash, eager to witness what you had in store for him. Erwin inhaled sharply as you slowly panned the phone’s camera down your body. His shirt on you was unbuttoned, revealing to him your glorious breasts, the tips of your fingers drawing fleeting circles around your nipple. He inadvertently pinched his index and thumb, imagining one of the taut buds in between them.

The camera then wandered further down your waist and stomach, making his palms itch with emptiness. He fisted his fingers trying to control the urge to grab your hips and squeeze them. He could feel himself hardening under his trousers, his erection beginning to press against the fitted pants. Damn it, he should've just returned to his hotel room when he had the chance.

As he prepared himself to view what lay underneath, the phone stopped moving. “What are the magic words, dear husband?” you asked in a voice so angelic, yet evil.

“Baby,” his voice trembled with hunger. “Please.”

You giggled at his yearning. All these years together and he still got as excited about your body as the first time he saw you bare. The distance was woeful, and he’d worked hard all day. So, you weren't about to keep him waiting for his reward.

Maneuvering the camera further down, you gave him the view of what he was waiting for with bated breath – legs spread out to reveal your glistening cunt, a milky white stream starting its descent out of your hole and trickling down your slit. You heard him groan on the other end, sinking his teeth into his fist. He was growing increasingly restless, shifting uneasily in his chair.

He was mesmerized by the events unfolding on the screen as you brought down two fingers to spread your folds apart. The air in Erwin’s lungs was audibly knocked out at the view, his mouth suddenly feeling dry. He could taste your juices on his tongue as he licked his own lips in a desperate attempt to feel something that would come remotely close to your labia. But nothing compared.

He ran a hand through his hair as you began to massage your greedy clit, your faint whimpers making their way to his ears through the phone. Erwin was now beginning to grind against his chair, and he didn’t even realize it. The focus in his gaze was heavy, eyes unblinking, lips ajar. The need to feel your fiery walls around him was heightening by the second.

“Do you feel good?” he asked in a voice so raspy.

“Not as good as I do when you do it,” you answered truthfully.

How he wished it was his tongue in lieu of your fingers; scalp yearning to feel the sting of his honey hair being pulled as you sang his name in ecstasy. His tongue beat against the back of his teeth, mirroring the swift swipes he could be drawing on your bud if he had his head in between your legs right now. How he’d be tracing his own name where no one else could see. There was so much he wanted to do. But all he could manage was to hum in response, continuing to breathe heavily.

“Show me how much you miss me,” you blurted, keeping your own inflictions on your nub going. “I want to see what you do to yourself when we’re apart. Make yourself feel good for me, Erwin.”

Erwin was momentarily hesitant, frozen almost. Your demand made his cock twitch within the confines of his pants, begging to be freed. He was so close to unzipping them and giving in to his desires. But this was his place of work, after all. And his colleague was just down the hall. The door was locked, but Levi could always hear him through the thin walls.

But his focus was lodged in the clutches of the imagery you were enticing him with. His common sense had descended from his brains to his balls. Casting aside the reluctance and ignoring the inner voice trying to knock some sense into him, he unbuttoned his khaki trousers and unzipped them to whip out his member.

He hissed at the feeling of cold air, the beads of pre-cum tingling against the sensitive, pink skin of the head. He almost immediately wrapped his fingers around the shaft and panned the camera for you to see, watching you gulp laboriously when you laid your eyes on it. He began to slowly stroke it as you increased the speed of the circles you rubbed on your bud.

“Fuck, I need you in my mouth right now, Erwin,” you whined.

“Oh, I'm going to be in more than just your mouth in three days, my love,” he huffed, stroking himself harder. “Just wait a little longer.”

Both of you continued your ministrations, each one painfully wishing it were the other conferring them. You reached a finger out, slowly bringing it to your aching hole. You prodded at the entrance, before plunging it deep inside and bringing it back out fully coated in your cream.

Erwin growled over the phone, squeezing himself even tighter. He was starting to get close just from the sight of the glistening streams of your juices starting to dribble down your skin. You moaned every time you sank the digit in, feeling your walls clamping down on it.

You added another one soon after, reeling them in and out in rhythmic movements. The girth was better than just one finger. But it obviously didn’t come close to the thickness of Erwin’s cock that stuffed you full each time. You were ready to pay a million dollars if that’s how much it would cost for him to fly back at this very moment and fuck you senseless.

“Fuck! This isn't working,” you agonized. “I can’t do this by myself. I’m too used to you doing it for me.”

“Try harder, sweetheart,” he cooed “I’m not going to let you hang up till you cum for me.”

“Remember, you started this,” he added when you groaned in frustration.

You propped the phone against the base of the bed, readjusting your position and speeding up your hand even further. How did Erwin do this so fucking effortlessly? You would have cum twice already if he were here. The sounds of vulgar squelches, heavy breaths and that of your voice calling out his name replaced the pin-drop silence in his office, and in your room.

Erwin’s piercing gaze held the power to crack the phone’s screen, watching your middle and ring fingers disappear in and out of you with your thumb assaulting your clit. He watched you hold on to his pillow with your other hand, face buried in it.

‘Why is she hiding her face?’ he wondered. He needed to see you. Needed to see your dazed expression when you would finally reach your release. He loved to watch your orgasms drain you enough that you were unable to even open your eyes... Or close your mouth.

“What are you doing with my pillow?” he finally asked.

“Pretending that it's you.” you hissed, irritated by the lack of results and the painfully sore muscles of your arm.

Your jibe made something click inside his head, reminding him of a thing that he that he sometimes wondered if you had ever tried. This seemed to be the perfect occasion to ask. He took a pause, trying to gauge your reaction to his next words. But, overtaken by a voracious appetence, he took the leap anyway.

“Well, then pretend properly,” he said. “Did you forget that you cum the quickest when you ride me?”

Your fingers ceased to move, still half dipped in your cunt, as did his own hand around his length; yours in contemplation and his in anticipation. Both pondering over your next move.

‘Will she? Wont she?’ he quietly calculated in his mind.

“This better work, Smith,” you growled, rising to grab the phone and propping it against the headboard this time.

You re-positioned the pillow to make sure Erwin could see you clearly and straddled it. The shirt on your back was sent flying across the room and he briefly lost sight of you when you bent down to fish a certain contraption out of the drawer of the nightstand. Erwin took a deep breath, preparing himself for what was to come, for he knew it was going to be a memorable ride ahead.

You placed the vibrator on the pillow and aligned yourself with it. Holding on to the headboard on either side of the phone, you stared straight into the camera, giving Erwin the illusion that you had just mounted him. And just like that, he felt himself getting hard again, his hand automatically beginning to move up and down his shaft.

“Not like this.,” you ordered. “I want to see all of you.”

He chuckled, propping his phone against a tall pile of folders on his desk and moving away from it. Legs splayed, pants undone with his erect member resting on his thigh, he unbuttoned his shirt even before you asked. Erwin looked at you with raised brows to silently ask if his queen needed anything else. Such an unkempt yet pretty image.

His chiseled chest rose and fell with heavy breaths, beads of sweat making it shine in the dull light of his computer. Disheveled, golden hair covered most of his forehead and his trousers stretched with the thickness of this thighs. The grey luminance cast dark shadows on the ripples of his abs and made the Cartier around his wrist glimmer.

“Now if this doesn’t do it, I don’t know what will,” you smirked, pressing the button on the remote to turn the vibrator on.

A jolt ran down your spine when you ground against it, drawing a guttural whine out of your throat. The vibe massaged your clit as you watched Erwin pleasure himself. Slow thrusts slowly gained speed and in no time, and you found yourself bouncing on the pillow like you did on his cock, lusty gaze pinned to Erwin’s while his head rested against the back of his chair. You both chanted each other's names like a prayer, moaning and whimpering as you braced yourselves for the release that was fast approaching.

Erwin couldn’t take his eyes off your form, swaying hips, skin glowing with perspiration, face so fucked out that your eyes were rolling to the back of your head. Your boobs bounced with every thrust and pussy left a dark, wet patch on his pillow where it brushed. The sinful sounds you made were causing the animal in him grow uncontrollably wild.

All he wanted was to be the cushion in between your legs and to bury himself deep inside you as you rode him to oblivion. He wanted to touch you, feel you, be one with you, reaching for the glass barrier that was the screen of his phone as if the hundreds on miles in between you both didn't exist. He wished to be scalded by your searing skin. Instead, all he got was the cold rigidity of the gadget.

He imagined running his arms up and down your body, squeezing down on your tits that were making his appetite monstrous. He could see before his eyes, how the nectar weeping out of your core would gush down his length and coat his balls. The sound of your ass rhythmically slapping against thighs reverberating off every surface in the room. How it would feel to be inside the searing hot cavern in between your legs. Fuck, it was torture being away from you right now.

His arm was sore from how fiercely he was stroking himself and he could see his orgasm was about to hit him in the face like a brick.

“I’m - I’m so close, Erwin,” you gasped, stealing the words from his tongue before he could utter them.

“Me too,” he barely blurted before a white hot release washed over both of you in a perfect synchrony.

Strings of Erwin’s seed went flying across the desk making a mess in his hands and on some papers, but he could not care less. He sat in his chair, panting, admiring the way you looked right now - heaving, as you tried to catch your own breath. You blinked harshly in an effort to clear your vision and drops of salty sweat streamed down your neck and cascaded into the valley of your glistening breasts.

“Are you okay, love?” he finally gathered his wits and reached for the box of tissues on the far end of the table, looking tired, yet contented.

“Not really,” you despaired once you were finally able to string words together again. “I miss you even more. Now would be when we’d lay in bed together. You’d hold me in your arms, and we’d talk for a while. Then you’d race me to the bathroom to cleanup. But I have to do it all by myself tonight.”

“At least you aren't about to have Levi breathing down your throat when you try to explain to him why you had to discard an entire file full of reports he just completed,” Erwin tried his best to cheer you up, feeling relieved when you laughed. “I miss you too. Three days will pass in no time.”

“I’m counting seconds,” you sighed. “Anyway, I should go to bed. Early morning tomorrow and you seemed busy before I called. Love you!”

“Good night! I love you too,” he smiled.

Just shy of hanging up, you were stopped by his voice calling out to you.

“Love, one more thing,” Erwin continued. “Don’t wash the sheets till I get back. Especially not my pillowcase.”

MAIN MASTERLIST | ERWIN SMITH MASTERLIST

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coffeewithcutcaffeine · 4 months

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Not to be nosy but I need to know all about the research behind Vlad being a loverboy 😳

Anon... Bless your soul skdhsksfkskf prepare for it to be stained with my unholy research. I apologise beforehand to any precious people out there who have to bear witness to my lunacy on this blog (I blame the exam period for this). 🙈❤️️

The people-pleaser in me wants to clarify first that my story will include numerous sexual scenes. I write about adult themes taking place in the lives of adult people. Vlad was a father to three or four children (that we know of) and married twice. Also, we know he had a mistress. People have always been fascinated by the connection between Vlad the Impaler and sexuality, man or vampire. It is a natural part of life. Hence why research happened in the first place.

Also, putting a warning tag on this, as well as hiding the rest under the cut because, well... The "top-tier lover boy" theory deserves to be delivered in full detail lmao. Do not read if you think it might irritate or trigger you in any way!

I think one of the most frequent phenomena in media is to portray Vlad/Dracula as a sexually agile and experienced man/vampire who knows how to satisfy his partners in a way that no (or very few) other men can. This stems from the frequently used characterisation that the main male character must excel in bed compared to others. Additionally, we also have the depiction of either a very masculine and virile warrior or a seductive vampire that contributes to it. I believe it is okay to work with this, but his skills would not simply miraculously be given to him. I prefer a great touch of realism when portraying my characters, so I have spent considerable time contemplating how he could realistically attain such *ehm* talents *ehm*.

When I say realistically, it is because Wallachia was a European country with Christian beliefs which influenced every aspect of cultural life, including matters related to sex and sexuality. While there may have been some differences between the Eastern Orthodox Church and the Catholic Church at that time, they likely shared similar views on these matters. In European culture during that period, sex was generally seen as something impure and sinful, intended only for procreation. Any form of pleasure, more adventurous positions, or other performances (insert anything you please here) were heavily frowned upon (like one-way-ticket-to-hell frowned upon). If we do discuss pleasure, it was primarily focused on male pleasure, with little consideration given to whether or not a woman enjoyed herself. That does not sound like an environment where a healthy and enjoyable perspective on sex could thrive or be obtained.

But.

Because Vlad spent most of his puberty and adolescence in the Ottoman Sultanate (he was taken hostage at ten years old and was released at sixteen), he grew up in this environment during a period that, aside from all the bodily changes, is known for sexual maturation and first sexual activities. This means that Vlad would not only be exposed to a different outlook on one’s sexuality at a time when he would actively start to be interested in such things (and the Ottomans’ perception of sex was significantly different from that of the European Christian mindset), but he would also likely have his first sexual experiences here. (Also, this might help explain why I try to establish his character as a man who treats women with respect, and why there are practically zero traces of sexism or misogyny in his behaviour.)

I am aware that there are many prejudices surrounding Ottoman culture, suggesting that it was oppressive towards women, but the reality is that Ottoman (and Muslim in general) women enjoyed more freedom and equal treatment compared to Christian women during that time (not as we imagine in the 21st century, but certainly more equal than compared to Europe). For instance, despite the common belief that harems were exclusively a centre for “female sexual slaves”, not all women in the Harem were there for sex, and some of these women held significant power at courts and even owned property (if you want to learn something interesting about just how powerful the Ottoman women could be, I recommend reading about the Sultanate of Women). During the formative years of a young man's life, when they are more attentive to how others treat women, Vlad would be raised in such an environment.

Regarding sex, Ottoman norms and perceptions did not attach shame to sexuality or sexual activity. They viewed it as a normal and healthy aspect of human life. They also believed that both men and women shared the same sexual nature, emphasising that both genders deserved to derive pleasure from sexual acts, and sexual partners were not held to be more estimable based on gender (many proofs can be found in the Ottoman literature from that period). Also, in contrast to the Christian medical culture which strictly discouraged sex during pregnancy, the Ottomans, following the principles and teachings of Arabic medicine, advised women not to abstain from sex as complete abstinence was not recommended.

As for where he would gain the experience — purely for my fictional version of Vlad. It would be extremely challenging to start a sexual relationship with a girl from the harem as it was a highly protected section of the palace, and being found there without the explicit permission of the sultan often resulted in execution. There were exceptions, of course — the greatest honour a sultan could bestow upon a male guest was to present him with an odalisque from his court. However, I do not think it would be realistic to give a rebellious young man who constantly caused trouble a girl from the harem. (On the other hand, there is some evidence suggesting that Sultan Murad II seemed to have some fondness for Vlad, so... Maybe? I need to figure it out.) A more plausible scenario would be for him to meet a girl in public baths (some historical accounts suggest that certain hammams may have facilitated more clandestine activities), taverns, or other venues. My general idea is that there was someone who helped him explore his own sexuality but also taught him the importance of viewing women as equal sexual partners, as well as how to please a woman and what exactly to do to achieve that.

To conclude this stream of historical facts and sum it up, this environment and outlook on sex, as well as having his first exposure to sex in the Ottoman Empire, would ensure that he learned how to be a generous and respectful lover who was not ashamed of healthy sex and wanted his partner to feel good. Feel free to use this lecture in case it might be helpful!

(Also, just a little bonus note — the Ottomans had a more liberal approach to same-sex relationships compared to Europe, although still complex and a little complicated. During that time, public norms displayed fluid gender expressions, and attitudes towards same-sex relationships were diverse. Ottoman poets openly explored same-sex love, and there were no legal sanctions for such relationships, despite possible negative perspectives from some individuals. I mention this because this, too, might have influenced the degree of Vlad’s open-mindedness towards other human beings. We also know that Vlad’s younger brother Radu had a sexual relationship with Sultan Mehmed II and, although their relationship was exploitative and as far from healthy as it could possibly get, the exposure to a different approach to same-sex relationships could have made him non-judgmental about the general notion of his younger brother’s sexual orientation, as well as understanding of the unhealthy impact the relationship had on his brother as he could see what was healthy and what was harmful.)

Now let me bury myself in a tiny box lmao.

#( oc: if i cannot move heaven i will raise hell )#in today's episode of lin discussing historical figures' sexy times #let me slowly slide backwards into the shadows and hide sksksk

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