#i was just pooping one day and then this spaghetti poop | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

emo-gremlin · 8 months

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Hey, you're cool! *hands you more MFN as memes/vines*

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Lenard: what's cooler than being cool?

Gordon: financial stability

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Lilianna: an octopus is just a wet spider

Ricky: WHAT HAVE YOU DONE

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Lenard: SOMEBODY ONCE TOLD ME THE WORLD WAS GONNA-

George: end on December 21, 2012. I bought all this fucking pasta as a way to celebrate the end of the world and now I'm $10,000 in debt, my taxi got towed and I have wet pasta everywhere in my house

Lenard: ...I ain't the sharpest tool in the shed

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Ricky: swear words are illegal now, say one and you'll be fined

Handy: heck

Ricky: you're on thin fucking ice

Ricky: oh no

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Lenard: what if mayonnaise came in cans?

Lilianna: that would suck because you can't microwave metal...

Noir: *walking by drinking coffee* good morning to everyone except you people

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Noir: anyone wanna get into an argument with me?

Ricky: ok cream cheese isn't that good

Noir: I was kidding but you know what fuck you for real

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Unfriendly Lenard: I hate being high, why I hear footsteps?

Craig: are you walking?

Unfriendly Lenard: oh shit

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Junebug: vanilla soy latte is just 3 bean soup

Gordon: why must you do this at 5am

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George: a haiku for the bus drive who deliberately cut me off

George: *clears throat*

George: I swear to God bruh, let me catch you in the streets, bruh I swear to God

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Unfriendly Lilianna: I find the fact I will never experience a sword fight in my entire life terribly tragic

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Lenard: sorry, liberals, there's only 0 genders

Junebug: there's one gender ad we have to share

Craig: Gordon said its my turn on the gender

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Norman: I wanna jump off a building and not die. Just relieve stress by slamming into the sidewalk and then get up and go get a slurpee or something

Ricky: Norman are you ok

Norman: no ❤️

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Norman: *screams into jar* everything is fine :)

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Gordon: I saw your last report card

Noir: *not even looking up from his phone* congrats you can see

Gordon: oh so you wanna be smart?

Noir: that's why I go to school

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Gordon: hey Junebug how are you today?

Junebug: I swallowed a golf ball!

Gordon: uh- are you ok?

Junebug: I can't poop! :D

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Ricky: hey Lillianna

Lillianna: can you get in the oven and clean it?

Ricky: bye Lillianna

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Junebug: if it weren't illegal I would eat cereal for every meal of the day

Gordon: I have some wonderful news for you

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Gordon: Noir asked everyone at dinner what color Norman's new shirt was. After we all said grey, he turned to him and said, "Now tell them what color you think it is." And Norman just quietly replied, "Dark white."

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Lilianna: Lasagna is just spaghetti flavored cake

Fritz: I will pay you money to never speak again

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George: fellas is it gay to fall in love with another man and spend your life with him

Gordon: that is the literal definition of gay

George: :0

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Gordon: *texting the puppets* At airport! Bye guys! Love ya to the moon and back, you're the best! Bust a nut!

Noir: I'm not sure Gordon knows what that means

Tax: I Physically cannot breathe

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Lilianna: God released me into the wild and now he's hunting me for sport

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Fritz: where can I order a pretty face

George: from your mirror

Tax: WHEN DID EVERYONE IN THIS HELL STUDIO BECOME SMOOTH AF

Lenard: 2023: the year the Neighborhood learned how to flirt

Norman: oh my

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Noir: 1 universe, 9 planets, 7 seas, 7 continents, 809 islands, 204 countries, and I had the unfortunate luck of meeting you

Tax: THERE ARE 8 PLANETS YOU UNCULTURED SWINE

Noir: VIVA LA PLUTO FUCK YOU

Gordon: I'm pretty sure 'viva la Pluto fuck you' is the best sentence I've ever heard

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Craig, Fritz and UF Fritz belong to: @gayfraggle

#norman mfn #mfn gordon #mfn junebug #mfn norman #mfn lenard #mfn #mfn game #mfn george #the unfriendly neighborhood #mfn tax #tax mfn #mfn noir #noir mfn #my friendly neighborhood george #my friendly neighborhood ricky #my friendly neighborhood game #my friendly neighborhood norman

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cipherexists · 1 year

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Documenting a few other details that ive found in the way back machine SPG dig

The Spine was originally created with a spinal column made up of smokestacks similar to a locomotive, thus he was appropriately named The Spine. In 1955, the US government invested millions of dollars into upgrading The Spine. Therein he received a brand new titanium alloy spine, and a multitude of highly classified weapons.

yeah, highly classified weapons?? what???

Eventually David entered high school. He was working towards his A+ Certification in computers and looking towards becoming an IT Technician. A sudden (but possibly long overdue) divorce between his parents turned David's life upside down during his Junior year. The divorce didn't go well between parents.

This is not included in Bunny's...despite them being twins... i love the 'sudden (but possibly long overdue) divorce'

David met Jerry Hager for the first time when he took his Beginning Acting class at the college. David knew of Jerry's "miming" down at Seaport Village and even visited his professor a few times while he was performing. It wasn't until his [Sister] [Bunny] took Jerry's mime class, and recommend that he take it with [her] again the following year, that David was introduced to the beauty of the art of mime and movement.

Yes you heard the man, The Jon, The Rabbit, The Spine and Upgrade only went through Three (3) mime classes before their first appearances in balboa park. And none more. (see; Steam Powered Giraffe started at the beginning of the second time David took Jerry's mime class.)

More P.A. Walter VI blog shinanigans

*List of images including but not limited to: Giraffes, toothles (HTTYD), fantasy games and GG <3*

wtf dude, 'Eggs of spider infancy within this meek little blog' ???

Back to the website...2014

Rabbit went on to fight against Becile's copper elephants in 1897, outfitted with a prototype blue matter laser lens array, a Gatling Gun attachment, and a collapsible buzz saw. Rabbit's combat history also spans WWI, WWII, and the Vietnam war.

btw they are still canonically fitted with these weapons, they just wont use them...

Hatchworth time >:)

After getting over that pesky omg-I'm-so-nervous-I'm-going-to-poop-out-all-my-guts feeling, he did ok in theater club. Soon there after, he decided anyone can play guitar, so he did

^^ Sam luke on performing <3

For a while after that, they drifted apart (which tends to happen to friends of Sam).

that is so sad, wth

Approximately junior year a tall, gangly fellow (by the name of David) joined the drama club and introduced himself as such. Sam spent many'a afternoon trying to discern the Bennett twins (one wears black and one wears dragons). The only way Sam chooses to explain the early days of "Hangin' With the Bennetts" is as follows:

"it was like being a supporting character on some weird sitcom within a sitcom."

Sam Luke on meeting the Bennet twins :')

Fast forward a bit and it turns out the Bennetts only got weirder with time. They were robots now and apparently they needed a drummer.

That sounds about right..

Somehow I also became a robot apparently.

Do we know how that happened...yes, will i explain that...not yet

When Peter Walter I began constructing an army of robots, he used whatever source of metal he could find. So it wasn't surprising when his own cast iron stove served as the base for a bronze-laden robot.

...that explains the insanity, i too would keep spaghetti in my pocket if i was made of a stove

upon examination Peter Walter II discovered a hairline fracture had been developing for years in the robot's power core. Hatchworth had been leaking a troublesome amount of concentrated blue matter energy[...]Mustache and all, the Walter boys locked Hatchworth in a lead vault deep within Walter Manor until they could find a solution. But months pouring over his original schematics proved fruitless for the boys and soon months turned into years...and then turned into decades.

Thats how hatchworth came about.... yeah no definitely would be insane at that point.

#steam powered giraffe #rabbit spg #spg the spine #spg hatchworth

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foragain · 7 months

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1997. the year kate winslet became rose. tamagotchi hit shelves in the united states. princess diana had her light snuffed by greed. i was born.

i was born in november, a day before thanksgiving. being a baby in 1997 means i’d missed the console wars by a few years, and the rivalry between sega and nintendo was nothing but a story i’d go on to read via forums in the early 2000’s. despite that, i still led a crusade against my best friend in middle school — who was better? sonic or mario?

sonic, i’d say, because he was my favorite character at the time. i’d spent plenty of lazy summer afternoons playing sonic heroes at my cousin’s house to justify it, and mario never caught my interest. my friend said the same, just in the tune of red instead of blue. we’d argue our case against one another to a jury of unwilling participants at lunch, trying to persuade them to join our respective sides. none of the other members of our group of misfits played video games — passingly enjoyed them, sure, but never played — and so the importance of “sonic vs. mario” was lost to them. my best friend, lauren and i, kept on.

lauren loved mario the same way she loved all nintendo games. when the wii came out in 2006, she was the first in our friend group to get one, singing it’s praises throughout the hallways of our school after holiday break. the television in the living room of her house was broken, so the console earned a temporary spot in her mother’s room. we’d all collate in there, gathered on a bed with indentation on only one side, whiling away the hours with subspace emissary. while i loved video games, i wasn’t good at them yet; lauren would remind me to tie the strap around my wrist when holding the wiimote, lest it go flying (which it did. several times.)

mario’s favorite food is spaghetti, so lauren’s favorite food was spaghetti. one day in october, near her birthday, our whole friend group was invited to her house for dinner — a “spaghetti dinner”. i remember thinking it sounded fancy. what it was, really, was two pots on a stove (pasta and sauce) for self serve. a choice of apple juice or water. a collection of middle schoolers sitting at an old dining table, eating pasta together and talking about super smash bros. brawl, and higurashi, and youtube poops and sonic vs. mario. i told lauren that sonic was better because he was faster. she threw a meatball at my face.

when i graduated from grade six to seven, i became more interested in books instead of video games. i’d bring one with me to class every day, sometimes two, and read once i finished my course work. none of my other friends were as into reading and writing as i was, so i accepted my fate and found like-minded people on websites like gaiaonline instead. lauren and i had forgotten about our personal war. our friend group was satisfied to hear the conclusion to sonic vs. mario. it was the end of an era.

lauren came to lunch one day, after we’d graduated from grade six to seven, and handed me a piece of paper. her grin was as wide as a canyon — “it’s for you!” she said. printer paper, with a date on the bottom and a webpage url at the top. to the left, small, was a stock photo of sonic from super smash bros. brawl. to the right, lauren’s handwriting; to the bestest friend in the whole world! p.s, sonic rules!

2023. my husband and i made spaghetti the other night, and i thought about that spaghetti dinner in october. i thought about lauren. i thought about that piece of paper, tired and worn from the years, still tucked away safe in my office. lauren and i don’t talk anymore. i know she went to university. has her own apartment. a girlfriend, last i heard.

she may not think sonic rules anymore, and we may not talk, but that moment is still here in my home. it’s still in my heart, because there is no before and after what love is.

anyways. i love spaghetti. and i love mario games.

#writeblr #hi hello this is something i guess. i thought about privating this blog but that's for my personal journal.#i need a place to just... write. i guess? to do it every day or at least try so i don't get rusty.#so if you passingly see this blog and my nonsense. hi! thanks for reading.

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attapullman · 2 months

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Mo-Mo, I swore I was gonna wait for this but I just couldn't help it (lol).

After seeing those photos of young Royal and Cecelia in the promo shots, all I can think about are those damn home movie tapes (lol). We saw Cece's pregnancy journey with Rhett, but what about when the precious lil bean got older?

Royal's personal favorite home video was when Rhett was about ten months old and he brought him down to meet the horses. Royal was holding him in one arm and Baby Rhett was reaching up to pet the big stallion's snout when he suddenly snorted and scared Rhett, two seconds later the baby spit his binkie out and screamed "FUCK!!!!" in his lil baby voice........that was his first word (lol).

Cut to two years later when Rhett was two and Perry was being a little asshole at the dinner table. Cecelia's trying to get the kitchen cleaned up and Royal's making sure the boys finish their dinner and Perry's tattling on Rhett because of something stupid. Royal just cuts in and goes "Perry, nobody likes a tattle-tale", cue baby Rhett going "Yeah nobody does Pewy" and Perry dumping his whole plate of spaghetti all over his brother (lol).

Oh but that's nothing compared to that summer when it was bathtime. Cecelia would haul out the big metal washtub and scrub the boys outside. Royal was running in and out of the frame chasing Baby Rhett, who by this point was running butt naked all over God's green earth and loudly declaring "NO DADDY! NO!!! NO BAF FOR ME!!!!!"

Or the exasperated looks on their faces when Rhett came running up to them one day and Royal caught on camera poor little Rhett going "Daddy, Pewy pushed me in da pile of horse poop." Of course Perry's denying it while their grandfather, Royal's dad, is yelling for Perry to "get yer fuckin ass over here".

"The Great Leaf Pile War of 1996" was pure gold though. The dog was involved and had Royal and Cecelia rolling for hours.

Rhett, Kayce Dutton and their best friend, Wes Redwood (a very well known rez brat from over the hill and Joy's little cousin) filmed themselves at ten years old, singing along and dancing to Lil Jon's "Get Low" at ten years old in the bed of Royal's truck. In the background you can hear Royal yelling at'em from the garage to "stop singing that fuckin song". Years later when they were all at Montana State, some of Rhett's Delta Tau brothers helped him, Kayce and Wes recreate the video. Cecelia sent him a text when she got it with only one word in response "Dumbasses" (lol, she did the same thing when the boys lip synced to Awkwafina's "My Vag").

Mo-Mo please enjoy this hilarious little slice of life from the Abbotts and if you want any more, please let me know, I'm always happy to pick from the orchard (lol).

Mary, I needed this hilarious slice of life so much today! I'm actually rolling at Perry being told off for being a tattle tale because he has SUCH tattle tale vibes 🫢

Thank you for sharing the gems that are your mind!!

#letters to mo #auroralightsthesky 🪩

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cl0ckworkpuppet · 10 months

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ranking things the zoo guests do/say/ask on a regular basis

for context, i work at a zoo, and people are fucking insane

"can we pet them?": 3/10. no, you can't. the signs say you can't. but I commend you for asking. If you ask after you've already pet one, though, -8/10. do better.

"i think there's a nursery rhyme about the kookaburra!": 5/10. cool trivia fact! if you actually start singing it, though, 1/10. cool you actually know it, but please stop

"garfunkel, huh? where's simon?": -10000/10. You Suck. I hate when people ask me this and I hate them personally. Because of this job I now have a vendetta against Simon and Garfunkel.

(starts playing kookaburra noises on their phone speaker): 2/10. clever, but annoying. also, doesn't work if you're trying to get them to make noise. they only laugh when no one is watching them.

"well, one of 'em over there let me pet 'em just fine!": -6/10. you did not have to tell me you did that. and just by that description, i know it was garfunkel, who is usually resting because He Is Overheated. animals laying down is not an open invitation to come pet them.

"i was just taking pictures!": 0/10. you can take pictures from the designated guest path. Stay On It.

"can we pet the swans?": just for this question specifically, -16/10. are you fucking kidding me? can you pet the swans? ask me that question again but slowly.

"garfunkel?? they need to get some spaghetti, cuz that's not quite italian enough!": 10000/10. i've only ever heard this once, and it was today from a 13 year old, but I genuinely had to stop myself from bursting out laughing on the job

"are the emus friendly?": 4/10. Australia lost a war to them for a reason.

"why aren't the animals in cages?": -5/10. first of all, we don't cage animals, we keep them in habitats. second of all, this is the Australia Walkabout. Where you Walk About with the Australian animals. You came in here for that exact purpose.

"i don't like birds": -7/10. not because you're afraid, birds are a totally normal thing to dislike. i'm just baffled why you came into an enclosure full of many many free roaming birds if you are afraid of them

"why is the swan pond so dirty?": 1/10. first of all, that is algae, and in small amounts it's not bad at all. it's pretty natural, especially for a giant pond directly in the sun. but more importantly, it is hundreds of gallons, and we cannot put chlorine in it, and it is not feasible to clean every day. we do clean it multiple times a week, but it gets especially bad after storms or heavy rain

"will the budgies poop on me?": 7/10. valid concern, actually. budgies shit every 10-15 minutes. maybe. i've had it happen plenty of times before to guests and especially myself. to answer their question, you'll only get pooped on if you stand directly under them. they don't shit while flying so ur good

"can my child ride the [emu/wallaby/giraffe]?": -284/10. i don't know what kind of cocaine you need to be on to ask me this question seriously, or especially to expect the answer to be yes, but even as a joke this question isn't funny. if i had a nickel for every time i was asked this question, i'd have a quarter

"will the giraffes bite me if i feed them?": 8/10. no, they physically can't. nor do they want to. but it's a valid question; they're pretty big animals to be feeding so carelessly. you'll probably get licked though

(does an australian accent): just because it barely ever happens, 8/10. you'd think it'd happen more often, but no. i've only ever got it a couple times. i rank it so high because hearing these guys try and fail to do an accent makes me laugh so hard

"are you a farmer?": 9999/10. little kids ask me this question when they see my safari hat. makes my day every time.

"are these kangaroos?": 5/10. on one hand, fine. not everyone knows the difference between kangaroos and wallabies. since wallabies are like a quarter of the size of roos, they're often mistakenly called baby kangaroos. plus they're in the same family and look very similar. on the other hand, do you honestly think we'd be stupid enough to put actual fucking kangaroos in with guests walking around freely without an enclosure? be for real

"do these wallabies have pouches?": 3/10. fine question, but these guys have comically large balls

"is that wallaby dead?": 4/10. no, that's garfunkel. he sleeps all the time. i promise he's ok.

"can we pet the budgies?": 2/10. you're welcome to try, but even i can't get them on a seed stick let alone touch them

"can we grab the budgies out of the air?": -999999999/10. Explode.

"don't you hate how the animals are treated in zoos?": -999999/10. you are not the PETA warrior you think you are. when executed properly, they can be really good for the animals inside of them. natural does not necessarily mean good, nor does unnatural necessarily mean bad. that's called a Logical Fallacy. some of these animals Cannot Be Released. please do any amount of research on zoos and aquariums that are not seaworld or the once in a while shitshows

"what year do you graduate high school?": -infinity/10. i am in College.

"when i was younger, budgie feeding was one dollar each, not two!": -18/10. that was in 1943, grandma. plus i'm just some guy. what do you want me to do about that?

"can i have a seed stick for free?": if you're an adult, -10/10. No. if you're a child, 10/10. No (wink and passes under table).

"can you break a hundred?": -100/10. No.

"i like your hat": 10/10. thank you! i like yours too!

"that's a cool pin you have!": 10000/10. my pins are all pronouns and trans flags. i love you.

(sees me cleaning the budgie aviary) (looks at their kid) "See that man in there? If you don't behave, I'll force you to have his job.": -infinity plus one/10. First of all, fuck you for shitting on janitorial positions. I'm sure you would prefer to not step in bird shit. Second of all, I'm not a janitor. Third of all, fuck you for getting your child to behave using fear tactics and threats. Fourth of all, I love my job. I tell these kids and parents straight up to their face that I do. That this isn't everything I have to do in my job. Some parts might be dirty, but that's okay, and no one's job is ever something to be laughed at. One kid told their parent after I told them everything I get to do in my job that they actually want my job when they grow up. That parent was furious. Good. Fuck you, Karen, for shitting on workers that only help make your experience more enjoyable. I've only gotten this three times, thank god, but holy shit. The entitlement of these people is fucking insane

anyway i might think of more later

#animals #zoos and aquariums

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radiotorn · 2 years

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TF2 ASK MEME... THE EVENS

DAMN HOMIE‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️ thank u ok under the cut bc it's a lot:)

2- Who is your favorite mercenary? Mmeehehhehehehe Demoman :] i kiss him and rotate him in my brain

4- Do you have a favorite tf2 pet? If so then who? oh my god ARISTOTLE!!!!!!! I don't care if it's not canon or whatever i love spys bird so much i want you to all look at this bird

6- If you are in the fandom, how did you get into the fandom? Im not really in the fandom besides occasionally drawing the mercs im just in my little bubble of mutuals who are the only right people about any of the characters. everyone else can stay quiet though

8- Did you find out about tf2 by the game, sfms or the comics first? None! i found out abt the game YEARS ago From this YouTube poop, used as a flipnote i cant find anymore. But from there, it was the "Meet The" videos i must of stumbled upon randomly???

10- Favorite quote from the Meet the… videos? engies "best hope…not pointed at you" bc i remember being like !!!! :OOO!!! FUCK!!! thats badass . when i first watched it

12- Favorite quote from the comics? okay it probably doesn't count but its one that sticks its the screen on admins monitors waayy back in the beginning that say "miss pauling. hide." sticks with me bc it is just a little haunting like…. :)

14- Do you have any OTP(s)? if so then what? hmm…i like a lot of pairings but ones that i find extra nice and awesome is swordvan, spy and heavy (idk their name but they r criminally underrated and i enjoy them together), engie and demo(i also dont know their name cries) and boots n bombs. sniperspy is fun sometimes tho

16- Do you have a BROTP? if so then what? i LOVE pyro and heavy ok i think they are the best like they. i cannot even put it into words they're everything to me. scout and sniper are also buddies too

18- Favorite headcanon? this is extremely self indulgent and like not backed by anything but pyro is hungarian and mexican. this is so true to me forever and ever. i also really like the hc that soldier enjoys painting

20- Do you have a favorite tf2 fanfiction? If so, what is it? Oh my god i will link it to you RIGHT MEOW!!! Tori u already know but to anyone else pls give it a read and check out this authors other works they fuck

22- Do you have any tf2 ocs? If so, then tell us about them!! IIII DO! I won't go into too much detail, but i have The Horticulturist(Horti) and The Pathfinder(PF). Both are Hungarian, Horti is involved with agriculture/plants/etc and PF is an ex-aperture employee with memory issues and menthal illness plaguing him all the time that makes sure battlegrounds r safe to fight on and that their base isn't falling apart they're strung together by spaghetti noodles

24- What is your favorite (official or unofficial) SFM? this, this or this

26- What is your favorite tf2 comic? i think blood in the water bc of just how much fking happens but also idk i like all of them a lot. especially 7 :')

28- Is there a character you hated at first but now you love? not particularly there is still hatred in my soul for c!heavy always

30- Which character is underrated? Demo, Heavy and Soldier. We all know this FAR too well :| it's a damn shame because i love all of them so so SO much especially demo he's my husband i kiss him every day and night

32- Who was your favorite character when you first got into the fandom? Did it change? Oh Yeah. My fav at the start was Medic, and then it shifted to Sniper, and now it's Demo/Heavy <3 though i frankly find myself loving all of tha mercs they all make me smile

34- Favorite moment from the comics? seeing admin all decrepit and dying bc she looks very gorgest to me. or when sniper gets shot because my god? or when we see engie at all. i love him. i always wished they did more with pyro in the comics tho :(

36- Do you have a favorite AU? What is it? I'm not sure??? I haven't seen too many AU's besides like monster or aquatic or freaks if they even count. though i guess technically qu/azies po/otis vids are an au so that for sure!!!!!!!

38- What is your favorite cosmetic? i would say Aristotle again but i mentioned it earlier soooo perhaps the seared sorcerer for pyro …but COMBINED with discovision!!! you wish you were me (me pictured below)

#THANK YOUUUUU help im insnae and must speak #owen.file #asks #tealbyabbey

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theorist-influencer-untitled · 4 months

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1.2.24 Tuesday

7:04 am

Hmm... Aunt Teresa called last night coz my fake biological mother planned to go there.... By the way she called not on my mobile but on Uncle DD's mobile.

Betsilog'z is very,very excited to go to Japan, in a lil while...

I'm not gonna go with them coz I'm no longer a child and they are not assisting me correctly...

Well, it is up to them coz I need to have my own life and my own job. Though, I still have windblow but I need to have job... I don't like staying here in Cavite but our house is here and I still need to get a job for myself...

I wanted to meet rightful people along the way. I'm tired here in Cavite so many fakes and plastics...

I wanted to maintain a job, for me to grow... Like what I said it is my dream,one of my biggest dreams to be on TV.

Now, that I'm already 43 this year... I feel bitterish... I wanted a man who can be supportive of me... I don't want a man who will just control me....

I got some spaghetti from the house of Uncle DD and Aunt Karen, I put some on the bowl. Me,John and Uncle Jun ate as well that early Spaghetti...

Nana is still sleeping...

7:26 am

Well, I will go to SB this am hoping I can claim my card from Conduent...

10:37 am

I'm back from SB... My card is not yet available will just wait for it, waiting for their mail or Conduent's HR mail about my card...

Later will have work at 11 pm until 8am, as well as the start of my intermittent fasting/ diet... So, from 8 pm until 9 am will just take liquids of all kinds...

10:49 am

I badly need to work for me and John and I want to do butt bleaching and brazilian sooon and of course to buy Starbucks and save and travel going to sand-dunes ilocos...

I need money, angels...

I wanna join cosplay with Kaede... A stripper hahaha I need to do butt bleaching.

11:51 am

Thank God!!! John poops is already solid or back to normal... Mommy Peachy's love is the best for baby John...

12:49 noon

My God, I didn't notice that our training is 11 am as in daylight here in the Philippines and I wasn't able to do the screenshot but I know it is my mistake today... I didn't know that we shifted in the morning... Whew! I'm apologizing to Sho our facilitator in Conduent...

Anyways, my reason will be I'm processing the atm still connected to work, I think it will be acceptable aside from I mislooked the message.

Tomorrow will be 11am and I have to travel by 8am in the morning... It is very comedy in my part... Well, I can still wear my gift for myself this bonnet that I got from Penshoppe from the cash gift that I got from Aunt Karen.

The funny thing about this bonnet there is a phrase " Every Other Day" the real thing I knew the meaning but I tried asking the saleslady if she knew the meaning and she said she didn't know...

Not bad if it will be "Every Other Day" but I'm still single and there are so many things to be considered...

7:04 pm

Will eat before 8pm... Start of my intermittent fasting/ diet...

I'm somehow stress, I'm removing John's ticks and fleas manually again... Grrr...

My life is not a piece of cake angela... Our lives are completely upside down...

Doing this and that, thinking of my job and my baby-John... I have to keep the job... Cleaning and feeding here and there coz we can't afford to have helper or my assistant anymore...We are somehow on the downtown... Yeah! Tight budgeting... A poorish category, a downtown...

7:15 pm

I'm thinking if I'm gonna change my fasting time coz my shift on going to work is from 11 am until 7pm... hmm... Aside from I need to thrift... I hate this morning shift schedule but I have to follow of course, I'm just an employee, it feels that my rest time is not enough.... It feels that the rest time is shorter... But of course, I have to follow...

The shift from 11 am for me coz I'm travelling far, it looks like much more expensive coz of the break time on lunch and dinner... You get my point angels...

I'm thinking.... I'm thinking... Hmm...It is not good to eat at night,right?

7:31 am

I'm really thinking coz my body or biological clock needs to be fed at 12 noon and I need some dinner coz I had ulcer for skipping the lunch, brunch is fine... I just need to eat something... Whatever!!!

I have budget to keep coz I'm just working and it seems no help now coz we are on downtown in life these days...

I wanted a vanity oh! Courage, Courage and more Courage!

Courage to keep the beauty! Courage to work for my baby-John! Courage to save for my Starbucks! Courage to save for my travel in Sand Dunes ilocos! More Courage for my butt bleaching! A lot more Courage for my brazillian!!! COURAGE!!!

More Courage for my bonnet tomorrow! Yeah! I'm a thief!!!

10:26 pm

Still,have windblow... Still, worrying...

Hmm....Yeah! I just checked whatever food we have here... There are still fruits, it can survive me... Like an apple a day keeps a doctor away or having a banana in your life makes you alive... ;)

Still, there is self-pitying in me coz of career growth and money and savings... Like what I said I don't know if I can get a regularization here... Hoping for more life coz I haven't start yet...

10:50 pm

I think this is good for tomorrow... Not bad...

Surviving...

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zzmeditations · 8 months

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How to Handle People Who Make It Their Mission to Ruin Your Day?

The internet is full of trolls, unpleasant commentators, and provocateurs. Unfortunately, we must deal with them in real life as well.

We all know these people who are always in your comments, talking trash about your opinion and work.

Not mine, of course. I haven’t reached that level of success yet. Once you have a few thousand followers or subscribers and perhaps over ten thousand readers, you’re bound to run across a few of these “special individuals.”

You can wear it as a badge of honor, a sign of success and fame. You will know you have made it when you have your first hater, especially a persistent one. (You win)

Alternatively, you could let them ruin your day and perhaps even make you quit what you love doing. (They win)

Why did I write “special,” and did I mean to insinuate something by it? Well, yes, I did. Allow me to explain.

A strange man yelling at people and throwing poop at their faces.

Imagine that you’re walking through a park in a large city. You will meet hundreds of people of all colors, sizes, ages, and genders there. Among this colorful group of people, there will be some “special” individuals.

You know of whom I speak. The ones that talk to themselves scream at people they don’t know, jump out of bushes with their ding dong flapping around. Them.

When you walk by one such troubled individual, and they yell at you some profanities that make no sense whatsoever, pick up their poop from the sidewalk, still fresh and aromatic, and fling it your way - do you feel personally offended?

“Aaaaa! One hundred dead squirrels had sex with aliens, and God said he would burn the wicked sinners in a bowl of spaghetti with balls and mushrooms! They’re everywhere. Can’t you see? Sinner! Sinner! Ye, who devours shit shall not go hungry! Here - feast on my produce and be born anew! I Cristen dee Sir Shitface McProudly,” they scream and flinch their dong in your direction. Don’t worry. You dodged that particular smelly bullet.

Think about this for a second.

The person doesn’t know you.

What they are doing is bad, sure, but is it really about you personally, or are you just coincidently a victim of their “expressions?”

Doesn’t it say more about them than you?

How do you feel about this person? Anger, rage, resentment, or perhaps sadness and compassion because you realize they are not okay. They need help. The system has failed them.

That may be a particularly stinky analogy, but the visual and aromatic illustration makes a good point, doesn’t it?

Read more!

#trolls #comments #rude people #stress #haters

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affectiondeficitdisorder · 1 year

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Dog is God Spelled Backwards

I know, I've been missing in action again. I apologize. For one, I don’t get into as many columnworthy romantic scrapes as I used to, partly due to the wisdom of age and partly due to age itself. But mostly, it’s because I’ve been elbows-deep in a new and entirely different project. I wrote a children’s picture book called WOOF!, about a lone wolf kind of girl who adopts an actual lone wolf from the dog pound. It’s illustrated by AI art generators that I trained on the oil paintings of my late father and it came out really cool. If you are between the ages of 3 and 8 — and if you are, what the hell are you doing reading this column? — or know someone between the ages of 3 and 8, or you just like dogs, or are interested in AI art, you should pick up a copy. You can get it here.

But I want to talk about why dogs are so important for love addicts.

The old joke is that the difference between men and dogs is a year later, the dog is still happy to see you come home. But it’s more than that. It’s brain science.

I’m the one who goes on and on about how behavioral addiction is essentially a physical disease, even though it often doesn’t look like that. It looks like a series of bad choices and worse behavior. But that’s what they used to say about alcoholism, too, until they knew better. Where sex and love addiction are no different from substance abuse is that this is essentially a brain disease characterized by compulsive reliance on a mind-altering behavior “despite negative life consequences,” as the professionals quaintly put it. Not to put too fine a point on it, our choices and behavior suck. We hurt ourselves and we hurt others, but were are doing it in an attempt to not hurt. To just be okay. Because in and of ourselves, we do not feel okay.

The reason we don’t feel okay on the natch is that the reward centers of our brains are not wired the same way as “normies.” My neurotransmitters are a tangle of limp spaghetti. I’m a muscle car with faulty spark plugs; my endorphins do not fire on all cylinders (ask your dad what a spark plug is, Zoomer…) I need more excitement to produce a sufficient amount of dopamine. I need more comfort to provide a sufficient amount of serotonin. I need more affection to provide a sufficient amount of oxytocin.

Mostly, it’s the oxytocin. I can get a jolt of dopamine jumping out of an airplane or swimming with sharks, and a nice infusion of serotonin at a day spa. But oxytocin, oxytocin is tough. Oxytocin is what you get from breast-feeding your child, or embracing your beloved, or having an orgasm.

You know where else you can get oxytocin? From petting a dog. This is not me being romantic, or into bestiality. This is scientific fact: check out this article from the magazine Science. In one Japanese study, men and women locking eyes with their companion dogs registered a 300% increase in oxytocin levels. (The dogs registered a 130% increase, so I guess they mean more to us than we do to them….) The best thing I ever did for my recovery was to adopt Laszlo from the East Valley Animal Shelter.

Laszlo gave me structure for my day: an addict can live a life chaotic, but a dog expects supper at 5. He exemplified the AA Big Book trope about how we judge ourselves by our intentions while the world is judging us by our actions: Intend to walk your dog and your dog poops in the house. And he reminded me of the insanity of maybe-this-time-it-will-be-different thinking: “I know I’m not allowed to jump the fence, but maybe today she won’t mind….”

But mostly, Laszlo loved me unconditionally. He looked in my eyes, and my oxytocin level jumped 300%. And you can’t get that with a prescription pad, or a quickie in the nightclub bathroom. Not consistently, at least, and not without those pesky negative life consequences.

So if you’re an addict seeking recovery — drug addict, love addict, anorexic, shopaholic, it doesn't matter — I urge you to get a dog. If you can, rescue a dog from the pound. You can save their life, and they can save yours. Laszlo died of old age last year, and this year I adopted Brando from the East Valley Animal Shelter.

Look in those eyes. Can’t you just smell the oxytocin?

PS - They tell me that cats also have some fine qualities.

#love addiction #sex addiction #rescue dog #oxytocin #recovery

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dailyaudiobiblechronological · 2 years

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6/29/2022 DAB Chronological Transcription

1 Kings 22, 2 Chronicles 18

Welcome to Daily Audio Bible Chronological, I'm Jill. It's the 29th day of June, and this music makes me happy. So you might hear the smile on my face right now. If you close your eyes, you're just kind of walking down the road in Italy. You can smell spaghetti in the air. Over to the right, there's like a tuskin olive field. And then to your left, there's a vineyard. Let's just go there for a second, shall we? And we'll sit down together and read the word of God. Today we're reading First Kings, chapter 22, and then we'll flip over to Second Chronicles and read chapter 18. This week we're reading it in the Christian Standard Bible. It's my joy, my honor, and my most sincere pleasure to be here with you today, and I'm so glad that you are here. 1st Kings, chapter 22, Christian Standard Bible.

Commentary

Okay, I'm going to pull from The God of Your Story today again to just quickly get us up to speed. There's a lot happening in One Kings as we're reading it daily. In First Kings today, we read of a royal meeting between Israel's king Ahab, Judah's King Jehoshaphat, and the relatively obscure prophet Micaiah, Jehoshaphat, who followed God, had been visiting the northern kingdom, when Ahab asked if Judah would assist him in retaking the city of Raimoth Gilead. Which had been previously lost in battle to the Armenians, Jehoshaphat agreed, but only if they first consulted God on the matter. Ahab brought in 400 prophets and inquired whether the battle should be pursued. They were all in agreement. Yes, go right ahead. The Lord will give the king victory. But Jehoshaphat was not convinced. Worship in the northern kingdom included many gods, and Jehoshaphat wanted a genuine prophet of Yahweh. Micaiah was summoned, and at his briefing was told, look, all the prophets are promising victory for the king. Be sure that you agree with them and promise success. When Micaiah came before the two kings and the affirming prophets, he sarcastically prophesied victory. But King Ahab read his sarcasm and invited him to speak truthfully. In a vision, I saw all Israel scattered on the mountains like sheep without a shepherd, Micaiah said. And the Lord said, their master has been killed. Send them home in peace. Despite this prophecy, Ahab and Jehoshaphat went into battle, and Ahab was killed. Micaiah had to stand before two kings, their entourages and his fellow prophets, and refute what they were saying with sobering news. But Micaiah wasn't sent to appease those around him. He was sent to tell the truth. And after he spoke it, the proverbial ball was in the court of the hearer. Micaiah gave King Ahab words from the Lord that would have saved his life had he listened. In many circumstances we may find ourselves wearing the same shoes as Micaiah. It's always difficult to be the only one standing against the crowd in that space. We may feel the seduction of appeasement, the mockery of dissenters or the anger of authority. But speaking the truth in humility is always the best choice. We may be the only warning a person gets. And whether we are listened to is not the point. That would be bringing our own baggage into the mix, oof. The point is that we are willing to humbly speak the truth. May we heed this example and speak the truth in love? I can speak from experience that I have been warned many times and the little fighter in me wants to prove everybody wrong. And I'm going to show you how wrong you're going to be. And my heart has been greatly convicted over the years at how much I have lived to prove people wrong instead of heeding the wisdom and advice that could have saved me from a lot of heartache and just absolute poop that I did not need to find myself in. And I've also learned, I have learned in the process. And when I sit with women, when I sit and listen and they ask me questions, before I even begin to answer or talk, I will ask them several things. First I'll ask, am I here to listen to you, or are you seeking truth? Because a lot of times people think they're seeking truth and what they're seeking is someone to side with them. And so I actually give them a chance to decide in that moment what is it that you are after? Because if I give you the truth the way that I see it, if I call upon the voice of wisdom, I will share it. And I have been in conversations with people that when they said that is indeed what they wanted and that is indeed what I gave them, the conversation ended and they left quite abruptly because, that in fact was not what they were after or their expectation was that I would have said something differently than what I did say.

Prayer

So I pray today, Father, that we would be hearers of truth. The truth absolutely offends us sometimes and it offends our mind to reveal our heart. And we can so easily just be mad at the truth teller when we should only be angry with ourselves for not listening to the truth, to not hear the voice of a wisdom. So I pray God that as followers of Christ and we know that Jesus himself said, I am the way, the truth and the life. And for us to follow that, we have to be hearers and doers of the truth of the word even when it goes against everything in our being and even when it interferes with our pride. And we may have to humble ourselves and say that we were wrong and that we've got to do things differently. Thank you for those chances to start again, to begin again, again. And I pray, Father, that as followers of Christ we will sift through the noise, sift through the information that is so readily available, sift through the opinions and seek the voice of wisdom. We pray this now to the God of all truth, Father, Son and Holy Spirit, amen.

Announcements

Daily Audio Bible that's homebase. Check it out. If you have not take a look around many of you inquiring about Israel. You can find that information on the Facebook page itself. Go to the initiatives and look for Israel 2023, and all of your questions can be answered there. If you would like to partner with the Daily Audio Bible, thank you so much for your partnership. We could not do this without you and that is the truth. If you're giving by mail, DAB PO Box 1996, Spring Hill, Tennessee 37174. Or hit the Give icon. It's up at the top right hand corner of your mobile device. And lastly, look for the Give icon on the website as well. The Daily Audio Bible Long Walk is coming July 7. Looking forward to that very much as a community, but spending some individual alone time with God, what better way to do that in his creation? If weather permits, right? That is sort of our national holiday. It began with a silent walk years ago in Nashville as many thousands of people gathered together and walked through downtown Nashville into the stadium where we had it was very hot, by the way. We had a day and night of prayer, repentance and worship. And it was an unforgettable event in the city. People still talk about it because people still recognize it. And it was just that profound to us as individuals, Brian and myself. And we wanted to let you all experience. Obviously we cannot recreate the same thing, but you can emulate and through intentionality, the same sort of experience with just being alone and allowing God to speak. So some of you put on your headphones, your earbuds, some of you listen to the DAB, some of you listen to worship and some of you listen to the voice of God through nature. And some of you are just still in silence. Whatever it is that you do, I don't think there's a wrong way to do it, unless you just don't participate, which is your choice. But that's coming up. We are looking forward to that as individuals and then collectively as a community. Lastly, if you need prayer, reach out. If you would like to pray for someone that's previously called in Reach Out. You can do that several different ways. 800 583-2164. Or once again utilizing that app, hit the red circle button and state your prayer or your prayer request. You have two minutes. Hit Submit and then turn the wheel to Chronological and it will get to the right place. That's going to do it for me today. I'm Jill. We'll turn the page together tomorrow. I look forward to it every day. And until then, family love one another.

Community Prayer Line

This is Charles from Brandon, Florida, and I'm requesting prayer because I'm having knee surgery on July 7. And I really covit your prayers. I've been unable to walk for six years.

Hi, everyone, it's Christie from Kentucky. I wanted to call and speak to the caller from June the 24th that said that their aunt was brutally murdered. My heart breaks for you. I just wanted you to know that we are all as a community surrounding you and lifting you and your family up in prayer. Such an evil act, such an unjust act in this evil world. I praise God that your aunt was a woman of God, that she served him and that she served her community well. And while we don't understand, we know that God's understanding is much higher than ours. And I just pray that your family will feel him surround you and comforting you. And I can only imagine what that day was like when your aunt entered into the arms of Jesus and him being able to look at her and say, well done, my good and faithful servant. I am just so very sorry for your grief and for your pain. And there are really no words except that we love you and we are praying for you, that God may comfort you in the way only he can do.

Hey, my incredible DABC fam. This is Kingdom Seeker Daniel family. I want to lift up our brother Roy from Ohio. Hey, man, listen, before I pray for you, I just want to encourage you with something that you said. You said you are a mess. And I say, absolutely not. You may be struggling with some things, you may be battling some issues, you may be having some failure in some areas in your life, but the bible does not call you a mess because of struggles. No, the bible calls you the righteousness of God in Christ Jesus. Remember how God referred to David as a man after his own heart, even after he had committed adultery and murder? That's right. So you, my friend, need to begin to declare what God says about you, not what your actions and your behavior say, not even your own thoughts. So let me pray for you, my friend. Father, I pray that you will remember your son Roy from Ohio as his father was in the hospital. I don't know if he's still there, God, but he's been battling pain in his stomach, and his father needs healing. But also our brother Roy needs healing. Your son needs to understand who he is in you. He needs to begin to recognize his identity in you, not based on what his behavior is or his actions are, but based on what your word says. So God, will you remind him of who he is in you and give him the strength to overcome in Jesus name, amen.

Hi, this is Victoria soldier just calling to pray for some of the DABber's. I wanted to say to my precious sister, saved by the bell, thank you for calling for me. Saved by grace and happy Valley. I just want to say thank you for letting me know about precious Carson. I just wanted to be encouraging and I thank you for encouraging me because my whole thing about prayers, I just love to see God works in the lives of people and I just want to pray for that family that they will be encouraged and knowing that knowing that cause a mother part of their life and remember the good times. And I understand that he suffered so much and we don't need them to be around suffering when they could be enjoying the Lord and we'll see him again. And I just want to encourage him. And I wanted to encourage my brother who lost his brother in law. I wanted to encourage that family and I wanted to just encourage those who have lost family members and they're going through the moon in process. I just want to encourage him because it's a very challenging situation. And I wanted to pray for those who have gone through the loss of the precious ones and even pray for the strength of those in our precious baby carlson gracious Father, we just thank you for little precious Carlson for being a part of our life. Oh Lord, we just ask you to touch that family, Lord, and help him to remember him in the good times and remember this precious gift that God gave, Lord, that he won't have to suffer anymore. You have your way in his life. You have your way. Father, in the name of Jesus, you bless their family, you bless their father, that brother in law who lost his brother in law that brought him to Christ, he could be there enjoy the Lord and waited for his brother to come know and that he made it too. Lord, we just thank you for your strength. We thank you for life and we thank you for the new life. We don't tie, but we fall asleep and wake up to new life with a brand new body and a brand new life. And we just thank you for it, Lord, and we give you the glory. We just ask you to encourage the DABber's. And Lord, continue to heal, continue to deliver, continue to set free and encourage.

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megadavestewart · 2 years

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WFS 322 - Fly Fishing Rocky Mt National Park with Kirk Bien - Leave No Trace, Bear Vault

Show Notes: https://wetflyswing.com/322

Presented By: Bearvault

Sponsors: https://wetflyswing.com/sponsors

Kirk Bien takes us into a season in Rocky Mt National Park. We find out how they deal with bears, moose, and other critters. We talk about what the fishing is like up there, what flies are the most effective, and what type of fish you can actually catch and cook. Kirk tells us what we need to bring for the camp, the policies we should be aware of, and how the Bearvault helps in a lot of ways during camping. We also talk about what they have going with their fly shops - Llama-packed trips, guiding classes, and rafting.

Mt National Park Show Notes with Kirk Bien

03:05 - Kirk's Fly Shop was opened in 2002. They now have 3 branches - one in Grand Lake, and one in Estes Park. They have a shop on both sides of the park - Thompson river and Colorado coming through Grand Lakes

04:30 - In the summertime, they are dry fly fishing; and dry-dropper in small streams up in the park. Spring and Fall are mostly nymphing in lower rivers

05:55 - Kirk's Fly Shop provide everything for campers - sleeping bag, fishing gear, meals, etc.

07:38 - Average fish they catch in the smaller tributaries are 8 to 12 inches but on the high mountain lakes, they get up to 18 inches

07:55 - The rods they use are usually 4 wt or 3 wt

08:18 - Kirk tells us what to prepare for - bring 1 article of clothing, a warm jacket, t-shirt, long sleeve shirt, quick-dry pants, and wool socks. Maybe an extra socks and an underwear

09:25 - Some people camp in the park for as long as 5 to 7 days. But the park doesn't allow campers to camp for more than 7 days

09:55 - They do Llama pack trips where the Llama can carry all the gear up for you

11:15 - You can't leave your poop in the park so bring a poop bucket and take it with you as you go

12:50 - We talk about the Bearvault - how you can use it to seal your food and then contain your trash and poop going down the camp

13:00 - The smell still comes out of the Bear Vault but the bears can't get into your food

17:25 - They use Bearvault as a camp stool and a cook station

26:00 - The main flies they use up in high mountain streams are ants and beetles - Foam Ant and Monster Beetle patterns work great

28:25 - Bearvault keeps the raccoons and marmots away from your food as well

30:20 - Mountain House brand is Kirk's favorite outdoor food, especially the beef stroganoff, spaghetti meatballs, and mac & cheese

31:30 - Kirk talks about that Scandinavian pizza bread that his mom makes but I can't find anything on Google spelled as "stewyat" or "sdewyat"

33:25 - We talk about the greenback cutthroat, which is a threatened species - how they're being conserved. They encourage backpackers to keep some of the brookies to make room for the greenback cutthroats

34:50 - You can call the backcountry office to get more info on the park policies

39:30 - You got to watch out for the moose up in the mountains - they either run over you or run away

42:50 - Kirk recommends just a 7 and 1/2 foot leader setup

44:25 - Click here to learn about the 7 Principles of Leave No Trace for outdoor practices

45:20 - Kirk tells the story of when he flipped a boat twice on the same day

46:15 - Kirk's Fly Shop teaches rafting through their guiding class

49:05 - Kirk's Fly Shop's got a new spot to take people fishing - North flats on the boulder of Colorado and Wyoming

Mt National Park Conclusion with Kirk Bien

We learned what it's like to camp up in the Rocky Mt National Park. I definitely have noted the things that I need to prepare for before heading up there. Don't ever forget to bring two Bearvaults. They will make your camping experience much more enjoyable with its versatility. You don't want to be a person that hikes down sooner because a bear or some other critter took your food. You want to hike according to plan.

As for the fishing, I think this is where that Reyr Gear telescoping fly rods are most useful. You don't want to overpack then have a hard time carrying all your stuff. Reyr Gear rod fits into the pocket of your backpack. No need to worry too much about setup and storage. Just start casting and enjoy camping and fishing.

Show Notes: https://wetflyswing.com/322

Check out this episode!

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jaedreaminn · 3 years

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My Snack

Pairings: Reader x Jaemin ♡

Genre: Fluff, Crack.

Word Count: 2.6k

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Stupid. That's what you call yourself (Jaemin too and your parents and your friends and your neighbour and the lady down the street) on a regular basis.

There standing in front of you laughing his ass off was your best friend, Na Jaemin. You were standing in the middle of your school courtyard, covered from head to toe in your long awaited lunch- spaghetti. Such a pity.

It wasn't your fault that the loud sounds from Renjun and Haechan trying their best to taunt the other were distracting, or the fact that Jeno was near them trying to befriend a cat (where had it even come from) who kept hissing at him and was this close to scratching him had caught your attention, so you could help but slightly worry or the fact that the youngest two devils, Chenle and Jisung had brought a fake can of worms and were dumping them in Haechan's satchel and the thought of how Haechan (who hates any form of insects) would react was playing in your brain. Maybe it was also the way Jaemin had smiled at the two 'Angelic Devil's' as he liked to call them but then noticed your arrival and winked and blew a kiss towards your direction like the flirt he was, was what made you trip on your own feet. Launching your favourite dish of spaghetti high into the air and land straight on your head a second later. Nope, no you definitely didn't trip because of a kiss. It was the other thing distracting you, and it was gravities fault the plate fell back onto your head.

Somehow, you couldn't seem to get mad at the fact that Jaemin was laughing at you instead of helping you because of how his eyes lit up when he laughed and how his low chuckles calmed you.

So instead you did what anybody else would do in that situation. You stood there stuck to the ground and pouted.

Looking at your sulking state Jaemin beamed at you and made his way towards your spaghetti covered self taking off bits of it off your hair.

“You know,” he said his infamous smirk playing on his chapped but pretty lips “I get that your stubborn, but I didn't think you'd go that far t- OW!” As realisation on what he was saying dawned on you a punch to his gut was all you needed to shut him up. Maybe not. “You know what you said and now-ow ooowwwww ow ow ow OK I'll shut Ow OOW UP!” You glared at him as you threw a series of punches his way to make sure he shuts up. Plus, he was a dramatic ass, and you knew none of your punches ever hurt him.

“I know what you're going to say,” you said and Jaemin opened his mouth to speak again, but before he could “Don't you dare say that” you cut him off, venom in your voice and Jaemin knew better than to anger you more than he already had.

“Oh well,” Jaemin sighed in defeat as he wiped the sauce off your face. How romantic. “Lunch is coming to an end, and you need to get changed. So I'll buy you a sandwich from the cafeteria and sneak it to you during Maths” and he smiled. Cute you thought, in a platonic many years of friendship way of course.

You simply nodded and made your way towards your locker where your spare change of clothes was when you had a thought which made you smirk in victory crossed your head. You immediately turned on your heels and yelled in a devilishly sweet voice “Jaemin-ahh”

He looked at you confused and so did the rest of your friends who didn't do anything to help and just laughed at you and go back to the bickering.

“You're the first person to approach me,” you said, and you could practically see the screws turning in Jaemins head “You know what I said.” you said in a sickeningly sweet tone and Jaemins jaw dropped as low as Felix's jaw when he realised he's terribly screwed in the year-end UNO tournament, and Jaemin stood there dumbfounded finally realising what's happening.

“You know what this means” you sang out more than said as you waved at him and sent him a wink and a flying kiss, turning on your heels and skipping away. You liked to think that maybe after years of watching the master flirt you've learnt a good amount to have actually made Jaemin blush.

You definitely weren't affected by what you said AT ALL. If anyone said you tripped a bit more with each skip you took they were as blind as your principal Lee Soo Man.

Jaemin on the other hand did. He really did blush as you walked away.

Jeno walked up to the now shyly smiling Jaemin “So what did y/n say?”

Jaemin didn't answer staring off into the distance, so Jeno pinched him making him yelp and glared at the boy who glared back, and let's be honest no one wants to be caught in a glare down with Jeno so Jaemin simply sighed and said “She said she's a snack” and Jeno raises an eyebrow as if asking Jaemin to go on not convinced that just all she had said.

“So I obviously denied it and y/n being stubborn as she is said that guys would like her even if she's covered from head to toe in actual food” by now everyone was carefully listening to the conversation.

“I told her she's delusional”

“Then” Jisungs soft voice asked anticipating what was to happen next.

Jaemin sighed and looked at the floor “She bet that she would do it and the first person to approach her when she's covered from head to toe in food is the person she's going to date” there was a one-second pause.

And then the loud laughter coming from their group made a lot of heads turn. Chenle fell to the ground laughing, dragging poor Jisung who he was earlier leaning on with him too. Hyuck had tears in his eyes and was holding onto Jeno who was doing the same all while hysterically laughing. Renjun tried and failed not to laugh and instead tried to comfort Jaemin but his red face and watery eyes weren't exactly subtle.

However, between Renjun’s laughing or chocking no one could tell he managed to get out a “That's why the great flirt Na Jaemin was flustered” and somehow the laughs got louder. Jaemin just stood there turning all shades of pink and red.

Finally, when the laughter calmed down a bit Haechan looked at the pouting Jaemin “Aww poor Nana got himself into a mess again here let me give you some candy to cheer you up” and reached into his satchel. Jisung and Chenle sat up straight looking at Haechan in anticipation and Renjun and Jeno also looked.

Haechan on the other hand was clueless and was just trying to pull out candy from his never ending stash of candy when “It should be right- AAAAAAHHHHH!” The bag flew five kilometres away from the way Heachan launched it across the ground upon seeing this 'slimy legless wiggling poop insects' as he likes to call them in his bag.

Chenle and Jisung immediately snickered and gave each other a high five giving themselves away as the culprits to Haechan who was glaring daggers at them. They realised that they were discovered when Heachan yelled and charged at them ready to strangle both, so they started running away from the very VERY angry Haechan yelling all sorts of profanities at them.

This time Renjun didn't hold back his laughter instead, he laughed so hard he fell on his but causing the demonic duo to stop and laugh but run as soon as they realise Haechan is still trying to murder them.

Jeno shook his head at the sight and smiled. He then turned and walked towards Jaemin who was zoning out again.

“So....” Jeno started and Jaemin looked at him “You and y/n are dating now?”

Jaemin sighed.

Jeno tripped and fell onto the floor.

Jisung had crashed into Jeno.

He was laughing at Chenle who had tripped over the Renjun who was laughing his ass off on the grass and fell face flat while running away from Hyuck.

Haechan couldn't stop himself from running.

He tripped over Jeno and Jisung too.

Everyone was on the floor.

There was lots of shouting.

And laughing.

And Jaemin answered Jeno's question as this all took place in sequence like Domino's.

He whispered a quite 'yes' and walked away.

No one noticed.

Everyone was now on the floor all tangled up yelling at each other to get up first.

No one noticed Jaemin's smile as he walked away either.

...

You got your promised sandwich in your shared math class with Jaemin. You felt a little too bold today, so you sent another wink and flying kiss his way.

You may have also overly enjoyed his flustered face, so you held his hand as you walked to your next shared class P.E. and you may have smiled in triumph when Jaemins cheeks turned pink and he got all shy.

You also may have been a little too bold so when no one was looking you kissed his hand and then skipped away. And maybe that felt a little more than Platonic to you.

That's the thing it was always maybe, you never had a definite choice of words because you were always confused, so it was always maybe.

School soon ended, and you waited for the only person who walks home with you because you go the same way- Jaemin. You knew that he would be late. He always was. Every Wednesday. He shared his last class with Oh Miri, and he always helps her pack up and carries her things for her to her locker. It's because he obviously likes her. And you think they'll be a cute couple and you'll be happy if Jaemin finally asks her out. You really will be happy for him. Really.

You bid goodbye to Renjun and Chenle as they both head home. You said bye to Jeno too as you pass the turf where he has his practices. You see Haechan at the gate and wave bye to him too. Jisung and you talk about a new way to prank Renjun this time before he too has to leave.

You frown now and look at the time on your phone, was Jaemin latter than usual? Turns out he wasn't late and the low voice that whispered “missed me?” which startled you a bit, confirmed it. You turned around to come face to face with Jaemins smile that you are convinced produces light because of how bright it was.

“So...babe, how was your day?” Jaemin asked cheeky smile on his face. You shook your head and chuckled slightly as you answered him “It was good Nana you can stop joking around now”.

You saw Jaemins smile falter for a second. Or maybe you just imagined that. Nope, no definitely did not imagine that because now he was full on pouting.

“You're already breaking up with me y/n? But I thought we loved each other” he said using his sad baby voice.

You roll your eyes at his antics and held onto his arm ready to drag him “Come on Nana we need to go home”

“Aww but today's our first day! Shouldn't I get a first kiss!” Jaemin protested still not moving as you tried to pull him. Thank god you were facing another direction so he couldn't see how much that made your face heat up and how flustered it made you. You knew he was only joking. Right. His tone didn't sound the least bit serious. You're just imagining things.

You gave him, what you hoped sounded like a small laugh instead of a strangled one “Seriously stop kidding I'm pretty sure it won't help with your Oh Miri situation”

It was weird to see Jaemin so confused, but maybe it was because he was confused about how you knew about his crush when he hasn't told anyone yet.

“What situation with Oh Miri...?” Jaemin asked still confused. Still keeping up the act huh.

“Oh please, I know you like her and chill I'll help you out if you want. I don't really see any reason for you to hide your crush on her. She's really sweet and you two would make a cute couple and if you keep up this act it might be misleading to her considering she's still around and will think you're taken” you kept in rambling but stopped when you saw Jaemins blank expressionless face.

The atmosphere felt awkward, so you said a “yea...” to kind of end your entire ramble and to cut through the sudden silence.

“Oh” was all that Jaemin said.

“Yep”

“So I win?”

“Huh?”

“I win don't I?”

“What?”

“The bet”

“Bet…?”

“You didn't date me, you owe me” Jaemin simply said shrugging.

Then realisation dawned on you, you bet him that you would date the first person that came up to you.

You sighed in defeat “Fine you win. Where do I treat you this time”?

“Not just treat me” Jaemin shook his head “Take me out on a date where you of course pay” he smiled that stupid smile of his and your jaw dropped.

“If you think about it you're losing without actually loosing” he smiled.

And you kept looking at him in shock. But what about Oh Miri...?

“See you didn't date me” he fake pouted “But I wanted to date you and since I won the bet and could ask for whatever I'm asking you to date me” Jaemin smiled his mischievous smile.

”I-” you started but couldn't form a single sentence.

“It's okay I know my genius left you speechless.” he said putting his hand on your head and leaning on it.

“I got a free meal and a girlfriend because you can't win bets” he smirked and ran for it because now you snapped out of your dazed moment and were ready to jump him.

Jerk played you like a guitar.

“THIS IS CHEATING” you yelled as you chased him all the way home.

You did catch up to him enough to throw your pencil case at his head. He whined. You smiled. He smiled. Things went good.

You went on that date. The two of you were official now.

You were always indecisive about your feelings and always stuck on maybe so Jaemin just made the right decision for you.

“You know you should ask me to be your girlfriend properly” you had said on your date.

“You want dramatic?”

“No-”

“I'll give you dramatic” Jaemin had replied with a smirk.

You should have known not to trust that smirk because trouble (for you) always followed it.

Trouble happened Friday morning.

There in the center of the hallway stood your boyfriend with a shit eating grin. The reason for that grin being the hallway that was entirely covered with posters of your face poorly edited onto a burger with the wordings 'My Snack' on it.

You shut your eyes and slowly inhaled and slowly exhaled through gritted teeth.

Your eyes snapped open.

“I'M BREAKING UP WITH YOU JAEMIN NA”

“YOU CAN'T YOU LOVE ME” was heard at the end of the hallway form Jaemin who had already bolted.

“Then you better run cus I'm breaking your Legs!”

“Already running!” The now barely audible voice of a rapidly retreating Jaemin was heard.

Bonus:

You brought Jaemin coffee because you felt bad for attacking him.

“I can kiss you now but what more has changed” Jaemin sat pouting with his coffee in his hand after being attacked by you.

You laughed and kissed him.

#nct #jaemin #jaemin imagines #fanfic #nct imagines #fluff #idk what this is #first imagine #okay i really dont know how to tag

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pockou · 3 years

Text

skin ⤻ chpt. one

— pairings: jean kirschtein x fem bodied nb!reader

— warnings: none for now

— summary: after reuniting with your childhood bestfriend, jean and a long heated night together you establish a friends with benefits relationship. what could go wrong?

— modern au

— wc: 2.6k

— a/n: sorry nothing really happened, this is really just me setting things up !

⤺ skin masterlist

After a long and stressful day with work, you finally arrived home. The first thing that crossed your mind was letting your mother know you’d be skipping out on brunch with her and some old friends the next afternoon so you could catch up on some much needed sleep. You removed your shoes and wiped the small bit of sweat which was accumulating on your forehead, outside felt like a heatwave being it was nearing the peak of summer, work has been pretty busy lately with all the moms coming in and demanding for you to restock the pool noodles — which obviously you had no control over just being a mere cashier. You never knew how stressful it could be just standing behind a counter all day, which you didn’t take into account is the long and blistering walk home. Maybe a summer job wasn’t the best choice?

“Oh hey Mom!” Your mom was just passing by with a laundry basket in hand, probably heading to clean clothes for tomorrow.

“Hi Y/N, how was work?”

“Long.” You filled a cup of cold apple juice up before turning back over to her, “By the way, I can’t go with you and dad to brunch tomorrow. I’m pooped and need some extra sleep.”

“Y/N, you can’t skip out, I understand you’re tired but an old friend who you’ll probably be happy to see is going to be there, and i’ll make sure you don’t miss him, he’s rarely in town anymore.”

“He?” You tried to think of all the guys who’ve came into your life which your parents took a liking to, there were a few but not any you really would want to see.

“Yes, he. Now get showered you smell like clorax and sweat!”

“Jeez Mom way to put it lightly!” You both laughed together, these moments definitely made you glad you decided to move back for the summer and stay off of campus. You picked up your phone after it buzzed and saw an incoming follow request from “Jean Kirschtein” the name rang a bell but ultimately you chose to ignore it and decline. You decided to fix the obvious awful scent which was coming from you and headed to shower.

You looked at the array of bath soaps, body scrubs and shampoos you and your mom shared, you picked up the ‘vanilla mint’ scent which always brought comfort to you for some odd reason, it just has for as long as you could remember. After massaging your head with shampoo and conditioner you shaved your legs until you were satisfied with the outcome and jumped out of the shower. Noticing the time after you went to pause your music you realized just how long you took, it was already past seven pm and your dad should be home, hopefully with dinner. Before leaving, you moisturized your legs and added an acne serum to your face, gently patting it into your cheeks and forehead. You just threw on some boxer-like shorts and one of your dads old band tees and peeked into the kitchen.

“Hey darling.”

“Hey Dad, did you pick up dinner?” You leaned over the counter giggling at your mothers antics, being she was behind your father mocking him.

“Yes I did, burritos good? There’s this new joint by the office.”

“Sick, thanks dad! I’ll set the table, love you.” You pecked his cheek before grabbing plates and cups for the three of you, you hadn’t remembered the last time you ate, it probably was around eleven when you had your lunch breaks. Which you believed to be a bit too early for lunch. You smiled widely at both of your parents as they sat down at the table.

“What do you guys want to drink? I’ll go get somethin’ for us all.”

“I’ll just have a water pumpkin.” You took your dads cup and gave him a thumbs up then looked to your mother.

“I still have my protein shake i’ll be fine!”

“Mkay!” You took yours and your dads cups and filled them about halfway with water, adding a bit of lemon and ice to yours, “Dad do ya want ice?”

“Sure, thank you. Now hurry up your foods getting cold!” You shuffled back over to the table handing your dad his iced water and flashing him a shiny smile.

“Thanks again!” After that you dug into your dinner and the whole meal was filled with your dad telling you and your mom about people calling in asking for help with computers and you telling them about annoying people you had to deal with and, of course your mom complaining about Amy from her yoga class.

By the time you all died down and your mom mentioned you should all get some sleep so you’d all be in good moods for brunch in the morning, inevitably you gave up in trying to skip out due to your moms persistence to join them. You walked into your room to be greeted by the warmth and comfort it always gave off to you, you grabbed your phone and plopped onto your bed ready to finally wind down and relax after such a long day. Your eyes got heavy and you felts drowsy before you gave in and fell into a deep sleep. You dreamed of the same boy you had been for a while, he was cute, really cute and he always brought comfort to you. This dream always took place in a pre-k classroom, playing will blocks and legos and the smell of popcorn and juice in the air. He always came up with a smile on his face which was missing one of his front teeth already, some spaghetti sauce around his mouth and asking if you wanted to play tag. But everytime before you said yes, you always woke up and you were no longer in a carefree mindset like a child and that boy was never there all that was there was a loud ‘beep beep beep’ sound ringing in your ears which never failed to wake you up right at ten thirty am.

This time your mom was also in your room, rummaging throughout your dresser drawers. She was humming the same song she used to sing you to sleep with which always made you smile. You whined as you sat up stretching.

“Morning honey, can you wear this today?” She had just a white tee and a jean shorts pretty simple and nice to wear in the summer.

“Sure that’s fine, how much time do I have?”

“Around an hour or so, make sure you hurry please I don’t wanna be late.”

“Mkay, by the way when do I getta know who this wonderboy is?”

“When you see him you’ll know, trust me. Now get ready!”

She walked out of your room to let you get dressed, after putting on the outfit she chose you just found some random sandals to wear and fixed your hair a bit, you still had some time to spare so you just chilled on the couch playing a random cooking game. Your mom came out to show herself off and she did her cheesy little jazz hands.

“You look beautiful Momma.”

“Thank you, Y/N, you look great aswell.” You both looked in the kitchen to see your dad eating something, “We are literally going to brunch why in the world are you eating?” She obviously wasn’t mad but she shook her hand at your dad which made you both chuckle. They both had been together since they were in highschool and seemed to have an unbreakable bond. That was something you’ve always wanted with another person, just to be able to find comfort in another so easily, and trust them no matter what. And just the very way they looked at eachother and the loving gaze they shared, it was everything, they were soulmates and all you wanted was to find something like that. Your special person.

“Well, we should get going, the car drive is a bit long id say.” You lifted yourself up from the couch and followed them, still looking down at your game. You plopped into the car once again, and just gazed out the window.

“Where are we goin’ again?”

“Just a pancake house, nothing too special y’know?”

“Mkay, thanks Mom.” You looked back down at your phone to see that ‘Jean’ guy requesting you again, you found it kinda weird but you decided to look at his account. He was attractive. No he was fucking hot, he had a shiny ash blonde mullet, which some of it was a darker shade, somewhat brown. His hair had a slight wave at the ends adding just a bit of volume to it. You scrolled a little bit more to find out he had a chihuahua and a shitzu. He was also doing good in school and — you double tapped. You mentally cursed at yourself, you just liked a post from not too long ago but still he’d now know you’re looking at his account. Out of guilt you let him follow you, you had to now atleast. You just turned off your phone and flipped it over, ignoring what just happened.

“You alright? You look sick.” You looked up to your mom who was looking at you from the front seat, “If its about ‘wonderboy’ don’t be too scared you two used to be so close, you’ll click instantly!”

“Mkay Mom, and I’m fine.” You acted as if you totally didn’t just stalk a hot guy on Instagram, gawk over him then like one of his posts from a few weeks back. You were totally fine, what else could happen. You were incredibly tempted to go look at his page again, his arms always seemed to fill his sleeves from what you saw and, he had a stubble which was just a shade darker than his hair. He dressed incredibly well and looked like he smelled like fancy cologne. You checked your phone and it already had been thirty minutes.

“Mom when’ll we get there?”

“It’s just done the road, relax honey.” You sighed in relief, your stomach had been churning the past few minutes and you needed out of that humid car. Once you parked and looked at the time, it was half past eleven, the exact time of your reservation.

“Alright, we’re at a patio table so you two walk their i’ll go talk with the bouncer to see if the others are here.” Your dad patted your head before walking off to check in, you followed behind your mom. With your hands in your pocket you guys turned the corner and a certain someone caught your eye, the guy from instagram, Jean was it? He was sitting in the patio, her hair was thrown into a ponytail and a chocolate brown like some of Jeans hair, she was cute and obviously his mother.

“Oh my goodness, Kirschtein is that you?!” Your eyes widened, these were the people you were joining for brunch. “Jean! You’ve grown so much, you look very handsome now.”

“Thank you ma’am, Y/N is that you?” He smiled widely before stepping closer to you and embracing you in a bear hug, you let out a small defeated laugh before hugging him back, “How’ve you been? How long has it been?”

“Since preschool.” Your gazes went to his mom who stole you from Jean and hugged you even tighter. You felt the life being squeezed out of your ribs, even though you barely remembered these hugs. And the scent you’ve always loved, both Jean and his mom smelled like vanilla and mint, it was pretty ironic. You all took a seat waiting for your dad to come back before you ordered anything. Jean was seated across from you, his legs were a bit on your end of the table but you just ignored it, everything seemed so awkward yet comfortable all at the same time. Jeans presence was just comforting and made you feel warm and whenever he talked to you and kept eye contact? That made you wanna scream, you two hadn’t seen eachother for years but instantly clicked.

Once your Dad came back, he had five menus in hand and gave them all out. You all talked amongst yourselves about what you’ll get to eat, and what you’ll be getting to drink, ultimately you settled on a coffee, so did your Dad. While Jeans mom and your Mom giggled about some drink they used to always share before ordering two of them, Jean got a decaf. It seemed plain but you weren’t one to talk. You had been engulfed in whatever it was you were doing on your phone until Jean kicked you lightly and gestured to his own phone. You clicked on instagram and saw he had messaged you there.

“Hey, so are we gonna talk abt you stalking me orr?”

“No, we’re not Jean, please just forget abt it.”

After that your drinks had finally came, now you all had to order you got just some pancakes, nothing special. Jean got an omelette while his and your Mom shared french toast and your Dad got waffles. The conversation over brunch went well, Jean shared about what he was studying in during the last school year, as did you. Your familys just caught up with what had been going on, Jean had adopted two dogs over the past year — which you already knew, he was doing good in school and his studies. You just sat there kind of awkwardly being just an hour or two before you were stalking him and thinking about how hot he was, you were snapped back into reality when his Mom asked you something.

“Have you been with anybody recently?”

“Mom! You can’t just ask her that, we haven’t seen her in years..” Jean whipped his head to the side looking at his Mom.

“No Jean it’s fine, but I haven’t.”

“Oh really? You’re so pretty? I find that hard to believe!” You smiled at her, she was obviously trying to be nice. You all continued eating, Jean paying close attention to his phone.

“Well Jean, have you seen anyone recently?”

“Mom!! Seriously?” You were confused about what your moms were trying to pull off, asking random questions back to back on the same subject.

“Y/N it’s fine. And No Mrs. L/N, I actually haven’t.” Jean stretched backwards, his arm muscles slightly flexing while he did so.

“Hmmm, interesting.. Well, finish up everyone.” You had already finished eating so all you had to do was wait for everyone else to finish. You played that same dumb cooking game for what felt like an eternity your Mom finally tapped your shoulder to get your attention.

“We should be heading out, by the way you two are invited for dinner tomorrow, feel free to come by anytime!” You got up with your mom, waving a goodbye to Jean and his mother. Now you had to endure a car ride most likely of your mother blabbing on about how you should get with Jean, that was something you didn’t wanna think or talk about.

You napped in the car for most of the ride until your phone started to buzz in your pocket, which woke you up from your dazed state. You checked the notification to see Jean had sent you a message.

“Y’know you got pretty hot right?”

“What? Jean thats random.”

“Fuck I mean that in the most respectful way possible.”

“Mkay.” You rolled your eyes, although you could say the same about him you were fond of his boldness but that was definitely a worry for another day. All you were worried about was what you’ll be doing now with him coming over again. Were you going to make a move in the same way he did or ignore his antics completely? And that was the last thought you had before falling asleep again.

#jean kirschtein x reader #jean kirschtein #jean kirstein #jean kirsten x reader #aot x reader #aot #snk x reader #snk #skin. ➷

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nblesbianbenhanscom · 3 years

Note

96 with Streddie!!!!!!!

“Please get me away from him. He hasn’t left me alone all night and I am this close to committing a murder.”

***

Flopping on the couch, Richie looks over at Bill.

“Hey, Bill?”

“What?”

“Can I ask you a question?”

“I swear to God, Richie, if you ask me one more time what time it is, I’m going to murder you,” Bill growls.

Richie laughs. “I wasn’t going to ask that.”

“Oh.” Bill’s face softens a little. “What were you going to ask me?”

“I was just wondering… what time it was… two minutes ago.” Richie snorts with laughter as Bill picks up a couch cushion and proceeds to attempt to smother Richie.

“You are not funny, Tozier!”

“But I didn’t ask what time it is! I asked what time it was!” Richie laughs as he tries to roll off the couch, but Bill is too heavy for him.

“I know you’re bored and you miss your boyfriends, but oh my God! You are so annoying tonight!”

Richie giggles a little. “You’re cute when you’re trying to be understanding.”

“Oh, Richie…” Bill shoves the pillow in his face and gets up. “They’ll be home any minute.” He starts to walk away, but Richie grabs his thigh.

“Where are you going? They’re not home yet. You promised to take care of me.”

“Oh, my God! I’m gonna go take a shit! You will be ok for five minutes!” Bill pulls his leg free and walks off.

Huffing, Richie stares down at the carpet. He knows he’s being an annoying little shit, but he’s worried about Stan and Eddie. They’ve been away on business and he hasn’t seen Eddie in almost 6 days, but Stan’s been gone for almost 10. They are supposed to get in soon, but soon isn’t soon enough.

Richie is just about to get up to go bug Bill when the man comes back into the front room.

“I’m kinda hungry and want a snack. You want some chips or something?” Bill asks.

Shrugging, Richie says nothing and keeps looking at the floor.

“Aww, come on, Richie. They’ll be walking in any minute, you’ll see.”

“I know,” Richie mumbles. “I’m just tired. I sleep like garbage when they’re not home. Puts me in a bad mood.”

“You don’t say?” Bill asks sarcastically, and Richie rolls over to look up at his friend.

“You’re not exactly a huge ray of sunshine yourself when Mike’s out of town, don’t try and pretend you are.”

“I never said—” Bill huffs. “I let you- I- shower- fucking- you—”

“What are you saying, Billy boy? You wanna fuck me in the shower?” Richie teases. He winks at Bill when he blushes crimson. “I don’t think that would go over super well. My boyfriends are coming home any minute, as you well know.”

“God, I hate you so much sometimes, Richard.” Bill goes to the kitchen and doesn’t come back for almost 10 minutes.

“Where’s my snack?” Richie asks with a shit eating grin when he sees that Bill is empty handed.

“You said you didn’t want anything you fucking little shit!” Bill shrieks as the front door opens. Both of them look to see who is coming in, and Richie jumps off the couch and rushes to his rather tired looking boyfriends.

“Oh, thank fuck you’re here!” Bill says to Mike who is right behind them. “He’s— I’m— Please get me away from him. He hasn’t left me alone all night and I am this close to committing a murder.”

“Oh, come on. It wasn’t that bad,” Richie says. He’s draped over Eddie while Stan tries to hang up jackets.

“You cried when I left you to go poop,” Bill says flatly. Everyone laughs including Richie.

“You take forever,” Richie complains.

“You should eat more fiber,” Stan says. “Keep you more regular.”

Bill glowers at him. “I’m done with this conversation. Come on, Mike. You’re buying me dinner. And next time, I’ll pick them up and you can take care of Needy McAnnoying Pants.”

“Oh, you’re so clever, Bill,” Richie says. “You should keep that insult for a book, it’s a real zinger. I’m hurt, truly.”

“Shut the fuck up, Tozier,” Eddie says before Bill can respond.

“Et tu, spaghetti?” Richie holds his hand to his chest in fake horror. “Staniel, can you believe—”

“That you’re an annoying little shit? Why yes, I can.” Stan kisses Richie’s forehead and Richie rolls his eyes.

“I missed you guys.” Richie kisses each of them in turn.

“We missed you, too,” Stan says as he comes up behind Richie, and wraps his arms around Richie’s shoulders.

“You are such a goof,” Eddie says as he shakes his head, smiling. “You eat?”

Richie shakes his head, no. “I was waiting for you.”

“You’re too sweet.” Eddie slaps at Richie’s face playfully. “Where do you wanna go?”

Richie shrugs. “You pick. I’m just so glad you are both home.” He squeezes Stan’s arm and sighs.

Eventually they decide on getting takeout from the Italian place. Richie honestly didn’t care where or what they ate because he was just so fucking happy that his boys were home.

#streddie #richie tozier #eddie kaspbrak #stanley uris #stan uris #bill denbrough #mike hanlon #it #it ch 2 #richie is a needy asshole #like me #and i love him lol #kitchen-witch-bitch

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