#i was in the chelsea hotel when this was happening live...
Text
Blind date (Tierna Davidson x Reader)
This is barely edited and I'm not sure if a museum like this even exists, but use your imagination. Hope you enjoy :)
Words: 2.5k
"Oi dumbass, get up," Tobin called from the bathroom before throwing a shoe at me when I didn't respond.
"Fuck off Tobin." I growled trying to go back to my nap.
"No, you have to get up."
"Why? There is literally nothing happening today."
"You have a date in a couple of hours that you need to plan."
I sat up, looking at her like she was crazy. A date was the last thing on my mind at the moment, the last thing I wanted to do, "What? With who?"
"You'll find out later."
Tobin didn't know who I had feelings for, but she knew they existed. Normally I would tell Tobin everything, but seeing as the person was her teammate, I decided against it for the time being, "Tobin what the hell? You know I have feelings for someone, why the hell would you set me up?"
"Because you've been pining after this person for almost a year without any thought of asking her out. Either you ask her out or you go on this date."
"I don't want to do either. One will make things awkward and the other will make me lead a poor girl on."
She rolled her eyes, "Suck it up, it's one date. You'll live."
"How do I even know where to take her? I have no plan, I know nothing about her, not even her name. You could have given me more then a couple hours notice."
"She likes art, museums, photography, music and Italian food. That should help, you have to make a real effort on this. As for more warning, that would have given you more chance to make up an excuse to get out of it."
There was no getting out of this. Tobin was stubborn just like me, there was no way she was going to cancel and this mystery women was going to show up regardless. It wasn't the mystery girls fault, so with that little bit of information I started to make a plan, "Okay fine. Tell her to wear something nice, but casual."
There was only an hour and a half until my date arrived, she was coming here first so Tobin could introduce us. I quickly made a call to one of my friends who happened to work at a nice Italian restaurant, there was a very slim chance of getting a reservation this late. Thankfully, my friend managed to come through and got the last reservation at her place.
After showering I got dressed changed into black skinny jeans, a maroon long sleeve button up, my black leather jacket and Chelsea ankle boots. As much as I didn't want this date I was going to put some effort in, after all it wasn't her idea so why take it out on her. Once dressed I moved onto my hair. My hair was shoulder length, red dyed hair. I was never one to put effort into my hair so I just went with a simple braid. There was a knock on the door as I was half way through the braid. Tobin yelled for me, "Hold your horses, I'll be out in a minute." I quickly finished the braid before heading back into the room. To my utter surprise, Tierna was standing next to Tobin. She was wearing light blue skinny jeans, a relaxed white blouse and a casual black blazer.
Tierna was the girl I had developed feelings for. Being team photographer, I had spent a fair amount of time with her and the team which had led to many friendships formed. Though my feelings had developed fairly quickly which had stopped me from building much of a friendship with Tierna out of fear and awkwardness. I didn't know if Tobin knew about my feelings for Tierna, but it would be one hell of a coincidence if she didn't.
I cleared my throat realising I had been staring for too long, "Uh hey Tierna."
Tierna smiled shyly, "Hi Y/n."
After a minute of slightly awkward silence, Tierna and I left the hotel. The slightly awkward silence continued as we walked down the street. Despite knowing Tierna, I had no idea where to even start a conversation. I struggled when not on a date with her, but I was even more nervous than normal. I had no idea if Tierna even liked me or if Tobin had set her up as well.
"So um how did Tobin get you to agree to this?"
Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Tiernas cheeks flush red. She always was adorable when she blushed. "She called me out for liking you which was terrifying because she's your older sister and I was worried about being murdered."
I laughed a bit at that. Tobin was only protective when she needed to be, she never cared about me dating, but as soon as I got hurt, you should be afraid. "Oh no, Tobin doesn't care until someone hurts me. Wait, you like me? How?"
"Uh yeah. You were just so genuine and funny when we first met, it just kind of happened. I thought I was hiding it pretty well by not interacting with you much when we were alone, but apparently she caught be staring and blushing a lot. How did you get roped into this?"
"Well Tobin told me about 2 hours ago about this date and I had no choice. I didn't think she knew about my feelings for you, I'm starting to question that though. Did she say anything about it?"
"She said you liked me. I didn't really believe her, but I figured I would take the chance and come up with something later if it backfired. I'm sorry you were put on the spot."
"It's okay, I'm not mad about it. Well not anymore anyway. Just kinda nervous that this will be a crap date given my time constraints. If I had known it was you, I would have tried harder to make it what you deserve."
Tiernas cheeks flushed once again as she looked anywhere, but at me, "Honestly, I've been wanting this for a while now so I'm sure whatever you planned will be perfect because it's with you. What are we doing anyway?"
My heart fluttered at her confession. I never would have imagined Tierna ever feeling the same way. I wanted it to be a surprise though, "You'll see."
We made small talk while we walked. I was still being slightly awkward, it was to be expected. I hadn't been on a date in over a year, even before that it didn't happen often. My focus was for a long time on getting my career where it is now. "So you own your own photography company right? You're just contracted to us?"
I started out as a low level photographer at some pet photography place, I worked incredibly hard and managed to book a few non pet related shoots. Things just grew from there, soon enough I was opening my own photography business, doing shoots from birthdays to weddings to pretty much anything people wanted. I had grown to have a few people working for me so when I got approached about working with the USWNT I decided to take the position because it meant getting more time with my sister. I was a little bit surprised when they did approach because normally they just hire someone. Tobin had confessed a few months later that she had showed them my work and hyped me up.
"That's amazing, your family must be proud."
"My parents took a while to come to terms with it, I wouldn't say they're proud though. Tobin is proud, but thinks I need to get out more, that there's more to life than a job."
"It's more than just a job for you though, isn't it? You created something from the ground up, the way you talked about it's clear you love what you do."
"For the longest time I had no idea what I wanted to do. I was always envious of Tobin for knowing exactly what she wanted. I studied business because that's what my parents wanted, but I hated it, guess it came in handy though."
Tierna stopped walking to look at me, curiosity covering her face, "Why photography? That's a big jump from business."
I started walking again, we had to get to the museum so we had time to have a proper look around before dinner. Also, spending too much time looking at Tierna made me even more nervous. This was probably the longest we had spent alone or spoken to each other. "I know right. There's not some big story behind it. One of my friends was an arts major and needed help with a photo one day. It was fun and I guess I was hooked. From there I just started doing it. To say the least, my parents didn't necessarily approve at first which in a way drove me to where I am now. Oh we're here."
The museum was a very large glass building, lit up on the outside by white lights. Tiernas expression instantly lit up with excitement as she kind of bounced up and down, "It's beautiful. I love museums. This is the one that just opened right?"
"Yup." I took her hand dragging her inside. What could I say? I was super excited. Once we were inside I became painfully aware that I was still holding her hand. She didn't make any move to pull it away though so I didn't either. Our hands remained joined as we walked around though as we walked we continued to get closer. At one point, Tierna ended up cuddled against my side as I rambled about something random. I don't think I've ever felt so flustered yet excited and comfortable at the same time. All I knew was I wanted that to happen more often.
This museum had a lot of different areas to it. It was pretty much all the different types in one. Science, space, history and art all in one. I'm pretty sure there was also a marine mammal section which for me is a close second to the space section. At heart I was a giant nerd, I loved it all especially space. The look on Tiernas face told me she loved it. It was a relief. This date didn't mean much it the beginning, it was just a forced thing. Now that I knew it was Tierna, I kind of wish I had done more.
"While I could stay here all night, we have to go." Tierna pouted, I knocked her shoulder gently with mine to get her to stop, "Nope, stop that. We have dinner reservations so if you don't want to eat we can stay."
"Hmm fine, I guess I am hungry."
We left the museum, hands still intertwined. Walking down the street I listened to Tierna talk about all her favourite parts of the museum. She was rambling again, I didn't mind though. I liked listening to her talk. Her voice was soft and soothing yet slightly raspy. Yup, I didn't mind at all. We came to a stop outside the restaurant. It was a small family run Italian place, that had amazing food.
"No way, I love this place. Didn't Tobin only tell you about our date like 2 hours before? How did you get a reservation? This place is usually booked out on a Friday."
"My friend works here, she managed to get us in."
The awkwardness had long disappeared and conversation became easier. During dinner I got to know Tierna better. Anyone who knew Tierna knew she was on the more quiet side, but she easily talked about her childhood, likes, dislikes, hobbies and pretty much anything else. Turns out I loved listening to her talk. I was also paying special attention to her likes, dislikes and hobbies for future dates or gifts. I had every intention of spoiling Tierna if we our relationship developed. Tierna deserved the world and I would do my best to give it to her if she let me.
Eventually our reservation time came to an end so we made our way outside. Tierna started shivering instantly so I slipped my jacket off and wrapped it around her shoulders, "Here."
"You're going to be cold," Tierna protested.
"I'm fine, I don't get cold that easily. You need it more than me."
"Thank you. I know you didn't really want this, but I've had an amazing time tonight Y/n/n."
Tierna stepped closer as I retook her hand, lacing our fingers together. She pulled me closer so we were almost touching. "I've wanted this since we met T. This just wasn't how I wanted it to happen, but I'm also glad it did because I don't think I would have told you anytime soon."
I made the last move, pulling her in and connecting our lips in a slow kiss. It was tentative at first, both slightly unsure and nervous. After a few seconds, Tiernas hand cupped the back of my neck, deepening the kiss. My confidence rose with that, my arm wrapped around her waist, pulling her against me. Normally, kissing someone like this on a public sidewalk was not something I would ever do, PDA made me incredibly uncomfortable, but I was finally kissing the girl I've wanted for almost a year. Let's just say it felt incredible. When air became a problem, we slowly pulled away, a smile spread across my face as a giggle slipped out. There wasn't anything else planned for tonight, though I really didn't want the night to end yet.
I racked my mind for anything that we could do when I remembered an ice cream shop that was open late, "Do you want to get ice cream and walk along the pier? I know a place that's still open."
Tierna cuddled against my side as we started walking again, "I would love to."
"Good because I don't want tonight to end yet."
Tobin smirked as I flopped down on my bed with a no doubt dopey smile. It was well after midnight so I was slightly hoping Tobin was asleep. I didn't want to deal with her smugness, not when there was still some resentment there.
"So how was the date?"
"How long have you known about my feelings?"
"A little while now. You're not really shy unless feelings are involved and normally you will talk to anyone, but you always got shy around T, you never really interacted much with her, always looking at her when she wasn't paying attention. Now how was the date?"
"It was really good. Thank you Toby."
"Anytime."
"No, literally never do this again. You have no idea how pissed I was at you, then how nervous I was that my plan wasn't good enough for Tierna. I know she liked it, but if I ever got the chance I wanted to make it really special. Like she deserves."
"I'm sorry, I just didn't think you would believe me if I told you she like you. It went well though? Did you make your move?"
I recounted our night as I got ready for bed, already knowing I would be too excited to sleep. Tierna and I were going out for brunch tomorrow. While I used to try my best to not be alone with her, now I couldn't wait to see her again. I couldn't wait to see how our relationship developed.
#uswnt x reader#uswnt imagine#uswnt imagines#tierna davidson imagine#tierna davidson#woso x reader#woso imagines
192 notes
·
View notes
Text
“Stop beating around the bush!” ~ Rachel Daly x Reader
Was in a Daly mood and wrote a little something, requests are sparking lots of ideas so keep them coming!💙
Prompt: "Stop beating around the bush!"
Words: 2.1k
Masterlist
Getting your first England senior team call up you had never been more excited! You thought that it was a feeling that would fade, but the pride you feel to be one of the lucky ones selected only ever increases, even after eight years.
Arrival day at camp had to be one of your favourite moments, the anticipation of seeing everyone again. Hanging out like kids at summer camp never got old especially when your two best friends were scheduled to join you!
After your contract ran out the previous summer, your show-stopping performance in the Euros had clubs across the globe, but specifically in Europe, fighting for you. Eventually, Barcelona won out and you relocated to Spanish soil for the foreseeable future. What you hadn’t accounted for was one of your closest friends making her return from the USA the same month you moved.
You, Millie, and Rachel had been a trio for as long as many people remember. Ever since you made your respective debuts in 2016 you’ve all been attached at the hip. Just the best of friends right?
Wrong. They were your best friends and you wouldn’t trade them for the world.
But you have been in love with Rachel since the moment you walked into your hotel room on your first camp to find her belting Céline Dion at the top of her lungs. You hadn’t ever admitted your more-than-platonic feelings to the girl herself, but your Chelsea counterpart was certainly aware. Millie had been the person to hold you tight after a couple too many drinks had you sobbing on the bathroom floor, wailing about why Rachel didn’t love you.
No matter how much you pretended that night didn’t happen Millie has never let go of what she heard. Sly looks, subtle nudges and occasional desperate begging all a part of her attempts to get you to admit your feelings.
Despite Covid having taken away your tradition of rooming with Rachel each England camp one that continued strong was the movie night the two of you exclusively shared every first night.
A knock at the door indicates your best friend's arrival. Shaking your head from your Daly-consuming thoughts you compose yourself with a breath before opening it wide. The way Rachel saunters in so casually you could assume she lived there too. Greeting you with a smile, “sorry! I would’ve been here sooner but I couldn’t get Tooney to stop nattering!” She announces kicking off her sliders before gracefully belly-flopping onto the king-sized bed.
“I bet!” You say chuckling at the thought, perching on the edge of the mattress, “I was looking through Netflix and I couldn’t find anything good, I was thinking maybe Disney?”
Nodding in absent-minded agreement, still lying belly down, Rachel turns to you over her shoulder, “what are you doing all the way over there?” She asks sulkily, a grin breaking out on your face as she reaches out to you. Wrapping her fingers around your wrist she pulls you forcefully face-down into the duvet, the abrupt movement shocking you briefly before you’re both rolling about in fits of laughter.
“Stop it! Stop it!” Rachel’s squeals are accompanied by her hands pushing at yours as she fights to stop you from tickling her. With a final giggle, you finally ease your movements watching enamoured as Rachel’s body relaxes and she drops onto your pillows less than elegantly, panting out breaths.
Relaxing against the headboard, shoulder to shoulder with the Aston Villa player you huff with frustration. “Come on Rach! Pick something already!” You insist, eyes trained on the page of movies she’d been scrolling through for the past ten minutes.
With an exasperated sigh, she throws her hands in the air dramatically, “I can’t decide!” She declares, “you choose!” Despite rolling your eyes at the antics you’re quick to snatch your laptop back from her, immediately scrolling to the animated movie section.
“Let’s do a classic,” you decide, cursor moving across the thumbnails of the Walt Disney animated movies. “Okay…” you hum gently as your eyes settle, “Beauty and the Beast? Tarzan? Orrrrrr, Tangled?”
Turning your head to look at Rachel she chooses the same moment to move her gaze from the screen to you. You freeze. Your faces are so close you can feel the light tickles of her breath against your skin, you can’t bring yourself to pull away as you analyse her bright blue irises, somehow missing the way her eyes flicker across your face and land on your lips.
Clearing your throat harshly you manage to break the moment, ignoring it entirely as you raise your eyebrows to question her film choice. Shaking her head, the blonde directs her attention solely to the screen between you two, “Tangled,” she mutters with a decisive nod of her head. Nodding yours in return, confused by her unusual cold attitude, you press play.
Shifting your body again you try and find a comfortable position, a task which is becoming increasingly difficult as Rachel is very intentionally avoiding all physical contact. Usually, she’s begging to cuddle up for film nights and is always dragging you to squash together on the sofa or share a beanbag. You can help but wonder what you had done to cause the sudden shift, had you been too obvious?
“Can you stop squirming?” The mutter lacks the playful infliction you’re used to and you freeze immediately, unsure of how to tackle your next move.
You eventually huff out, “sorry," with a roll of your eyes, giving up on watching the princess and criminal duo, rolling onto your back and picking up your phone instead. After five or so minutes of tension-filled silence, Rachel finally resolves to flick her eyes from where they’d been locked on the screen to glance at you. The disappointment which floods her at your clear lack of interest in the tradition is indescribable.
Unable to manage the fear, confusion and upset whirling within her Rachel channels them all into annoyance, snapping at you abruptly, “you chose this film you know!” She reminds.
“Like you even care!” With a side-eye glance at her you can’t help the impulsive response that escapes you, finally fed up with her sudden mood change.
“What does that mean?” Rachel is hesitant but with her hothead winning out she can’t help but get defensive, sitting up from her lounging position to confront you properly.
“You’ve been in a mood with me since the minute I touched the laptop! You’re the one who told me to pick a film! I thought Tangled was your favourite?!” All your frustrations release at that moment as you slam your phone into the bedsheets and push into a sitting position, turning to face her too.
Seemingly taken back the blonde can’t even hold eye contact with you as she mutters, “it- it is!” She’s surprised and flattered you’d remembered such a mundane thing. Seeing the way she’d obviously made you question yourself guilt consumed her. She’d been so distracted trying to protect herself she had lacked any and all consideration for you.
“Come on Rach!” Unimpressed at the minimal response and more desperate than ever to find out the cause of your best friend's troubles, you yell. “Stop beating around the bush! Just tell me what’s going on already!”
Watching the way her fingers pick at the skin around her nails nervously your eyes immediately soften. Reaching out you gently entwine her digits with yours, adding a whispered, “please,” to the end of your outburst.
Finally allowing herself to meet your eyes for the first time since the movie began you’re given an exclusive look at the fear swimming in them. You desperately want to bundle the woman into your arms and protect her from everything. But determined to avoid anything which will close her off again you simply squeeze her hand with an encouraging nod. “It’s- I, I don’t want to make it weird.” Her words are barely a whisper, a harsh contrast to the loud voices you’d been exchanging previously.
You smile at her gently, “Rach we’re besties remember? It’s been eight years! If you haven’t scared me off yet I doubt this will.” You can’t help the nervous chuckle that escapes at the words, despite wanting to ease her mind you’re concerned with what would possibly be serious enough for this much hesitancy.
Rachel nods to herself in some form of self-support before dropping eye contact and whispering a sentence which is completely inaudible to you. Squinting as if it would help you hear you ask, “what?” She speaks a little louder the second time but it’s still too much of a mumble to be understood. “I can’t hear you, Rach,” you stroke your thumb lightly across the back of her hand, still in yours.
With a roll of eyes and obvious frustration, the abrupt blurting of words shocks you as she repeats herself a third time.
“I LOVE YOU!”
It's like you’re brain malfunctions at the words, your tongue tripping as you stumble over any possible response until finally, you manage to compose yourself enough for a single word. “What?”
Your eyes are wide and you practically forget Rachel is in the room, you drop her hands and instead move to pinch your own arm, convinced this is some kind of fantasy. “I told you it would make things weird!”
Immediately you’re snapped back to reality, the distress in Rachel’s voice feeling too much for you to bare but when you meet her eyes again and see the tears brimming your heart truly breaks and you’re aching to reassure her. “No, no, no Rach! Not at all!” You grab at her hand, holding tightly, “I love you too!” You declare joyfully, the words bursting from you, “I have for years.” Your final admittance is vulnerable and has Rachel meeting your eyes again.
“Huh?” Her confusion is evident, “you didn’t say anything!” She accuses, there’s disbelief but no anger in her words. You can’t help the broad grin which has been permanently on your face since her announcement.
“You didn’t either!” Laughter joins your words.
“I didn’t know!” She declares, pointing a heavy finger into your chest accusatorially causing you to wince with a chuckle. “That’s why I was late, it wasn’t Ella, I told Millie that over Christmas I admitted to myself I liked you and she was trying to convince me to tell you.”
“Of course, she was,” you roll your eyes, “explains why she wasn’t begging to join movie night for once though!” You laugh, Rachel joins you in laughter as you register the rest of her words.
Breaking the melodic sounds abruptly, “Hey! You better more than like me Daly! I haven’t pined after you for years to just be a mindless crush!” The obvious teasing in your tone has Rachel reciprocating your energy as she rolls her eyes.
“I can’t believe you thought you could accuse me of not saying when you’ve been hiding it so much longer! I didn’t realise how lovable I was!” She teases, fanning herself with her hand in feign-flattery.
Swatting her lightly, ever the competitive pair, your response is immediate, “well at least we know who makes the better actress! You were falling all over yourself the moment were within inches of each other!” Rachel simply shakes her head at you, an adoring smile settling on her face. With the reality of the situation finally hitting you you’re able to analyse exactly why Rachel had been acting the way she had all night, it was her defences rising due to the fear of being hurt.
“How close were we?” Rachel asks, acting innocent but you could sense the ulterior motive.
Choosing to play her game you hum lightly in response, leaving an obvious gap between you. “I don’t remember, how about you show me?”
Watching her smile morph into a smirk you feel as though your heart physically grows within your chest, all the positive emotions swirling inside desperate to burst. Shifting her weight Rachel kneels on the bed, leaning closer to you, nerves evident in her heavy breaths. “About her-”
Lacking the patience for her slow movements the blonde never finishes her sentence as you crash your lips together. Hers warm and soft. After all these years the moment was everything you had dreamed it to be and more.
Pulling back mere centimetres was too much, soft breath tickling beneath your nose as you admired each other. Your hands settle on her hips, and pulling her closer she decides to place a knee on either side of your body, straddling you.
You gasp as she settles on your lap, eyes falling closed briefly. You hear the defender’s giggle and then her lips are enclosing over yours again. Sparks ignited in the both of you the kiss becoming heavier as you grew in confidence. A hand reaches up to tangle in your hair, one of yours reaching to cup her face tentatively.
So absorbed in each other neither of you notice when the heavy wood of the hotel door opens, it's only when the loud northern voice of your best friend makes itself know that your bubble bursts, “Finally! I was beginning to think I’d be stuck in the middle of your pining forever!”
268 notes
·
View notes
Note
bestieee ngl ever since i read the rolling stone article and h said he cried after the 1d wembley show in 2014 all i could think about was yn comforting him afterwards ☹️🫶🏻
Noooo because after the band gives the crowd their final wave goodbye and they all head backstage, the crew members, management, and the rest of their team are just clapping and cheering them on. After coming on stage, her and boys are on a high, the adrenaline racing throughout their entire bodies that they all jump and yell along with everyone else in celebration.
Louis is the one to pull and gather the band together in a group hug huddle. They could honestly care less about how smelly or sticky with sweat they are from performing, it was a moment that they all needed to reel in and enjoy. They just performed to a sold-out stadium full of thousands of people!
After all the commotion, the band gets led down the halls to their designated dressing rooms. So after some quick showers and drives back to their hotel rooms, YN can't help but notice how quiet Harry has been after getting backstage.
A perk of being the only girl in the is the fact that whatever hotel they were staying at, most of the time YN was able to get her own private suite while the boys shared one or two amongst themselves.
So while the band makes their way down the hotel hallways, chatting and laughing away at all the stuff that happened during the show, YN goes to ask what was Harry's favorite part of the show when she sees that his fingers pinch at his eyes. When he blinks them open, she can see how pink his nose is and his eyes glossy.
"So do you guys wanna head over to Louis and Zayn's room? Carry on the party in there?" Liam suggests and everyone but YN and Harry excitedly agrees.
"M'actually pretty beat." YN shifts the duffle bag strap on her shoulder. "M'old lady, can't stay awake for a minute longer. Y'lads have fun."
"Harry? Y'coming?" Zayn nods over to the room once he's scanned his key card.
"Think m'gonna go to sleep too." Harry fakes a yawn to make it seem like his water eyes weren't from his sentimental tears.
"Okay, grampa." Niall teases, "Just don't come knocking on the door when we got the music on too loud. Wembly!" The Irish lad raised his fists in the air and the rest of the boys join in with his chanting as they make their way into the room. Once they hear the door click shut, Harry awkwardly shuffles his worn-out Chelsea boot against the patterned carpet.
"Um, good night, YN."
"Night, H."
Right as he goes to take out his key card from his pocket, she doesn't think twice about blurting out, "Harry?"
"Yeah?"
"Are yeh hungry?"
So that's how the two find themselves in YN's hotel kitchenette, making breakfast at 1 o'clock in the morning. To be fair, it's been mostly Harry cooking since YN can all but know how to make toast and coffee. YN was thinking made just chatting over a bowl of cereal but he's gone the whole nine yards: eggs, pancakes and even a bit of hashbrown he's managed to whip up.
After pushing her finished plate onto the coffee table, YN leans back on the living room couch with a hand over her tummy. "That was so fookin' good. Those pancakes were amazing."
"M'sure they were since you drowned them in syrup." Harry teases over a sip of his coffee mug.
"Are you syrup-shaming meh?"
"Just making an observation." He shrugs with a soft smile, fingers pushing some of his outgrown hair behind his ear after putting his mug on the table.
"Y'hair s'getting long." YN thinks out loud, eyes flickering around his curly locks.
"Judging my choice of length?" Harry turns sideways to face her, an arm coming up to rest on the back of the couch so he can lean his temple against his hand. His insides get all gooey at the sight of her. How can he function properly when her head rests back on the couch, her neck fully on display like it's begging him to plant his lips on the surface. Or the way her eyes hold something in them he can't quite place his finger on. Or the way her lips tug up into the smile that never fails to take his breath away.
She pushes a shoulder to her ear, "Just making an observation."
A beat goes by of them just fondly staring at one another before her ringtone goes off to let her know she received a new text message. Shifting and reaching around her back pocket, she notices how the butterflies in her tummy make their landing when she reads the name on the screen.
Matthew: Hey hun, I know you're probably knocked out for the night so good morning when you read this <3 give me a ring when you're up and tell me all about the show! I love you.
With a sigh, YN locks her screen and pushes it onto the table next to her plate. She rakes a hand through her hair before settling back into the couch, wishing to go back to the feeling she felt before being reminded of her boyfriend. Matthew is a great guy, he's honest and loyal and caring...and not who she truly wants to be with.
"Y'alright, YN?"
"Y'know what I realized?" YN questions, impulsively finding the strength to confess something she's been holding onto since she was 16. But all the courage diminishes the second she meets his eyes and if she wasn't already sitting down, her knees might have given out.
"Hmm?" Harry encourages.
"That...you don't call me lovie as much anymore." She says instead and thanks God she did because now the heat is taken off of her and placed on top of his heated and dimpled cheeks. "What's up with that? Lately, it's been Morning, YN. See yeh on stage, YN. Y'alright, YN?" She deepens her voice to try to make his accent and a giggle erupts from his chest.
"Thought you didn't like it anymore." Harry lies through his teeth.
"And why in the bloody hell would yeh think that?"
The real reason? He stopped calling her that once she was officially with Matthew, it just didn't feel right having her so close yet so far from his reach. In all honesty, it hurt him more than it hurt her when he stopped calling her his nickname.
"Dunno." Harry lets out a huffed laugh through his nose.
"Well I do like it. I miss it actually." YN distracts herself by picking at the frilly bits on the decorative pillows.
"Okay," She feels his finger go under her chin, lifting her gaze to meet his. "Lovie."
In true YN fashion, she rolls her eyes with a scoff as she pushes her hand away both for hating the lovey dovey shit and not letting herself succumb her his lovey dovey actions. Harry chuckles at her antics and goes back to rest his temple on his fist. There's a tiny part of his ego that likes the fact that he can make her nervous, flustered at little bits of affection.
"Anyways," YN remembers her initial reason for inviting him over. "That was some show, huh?"
"Insane." Harry shakes his head in disbelief. "Y'know, if or when all of us decide to go our separate ways and do solo stuff, and I never perform to that big of a crowd again, m'perfectly okay with that."
"I was thinking the same thing. Was a bit overwhelming wasn't it? Just everything all at once. The fans, the music, the excitement of it all. Being with you and the boys on stage doing what we all love. It's a pretty amazing feelin' innit?"
She sees Harry nod along to her words, chuckling a bit when he has to sniffle his nose as his eyes get watery again. He even looks away from her direction, too embarrassed from being sentimental.
"S'okay to cry, H. S'just me." And that seemed to be the last branch holding the damn together because Harry leans forward, his elbows on her knees with his hands covering his face. His shoulders twitch as he cries and it has YN scooting over to his side in an instant.
As much as she's slowly inching her way to being more comfortable with physical affection, her anxiety about it all lessens when it's with Harry. She wraps an arm around his back and rests her cheek against his shoulder in comfort, making him feel safe to release the sob that he was holding back.
They like this for what seems like forever, YN rubbing his back gently and even blinking back a few tears of her own. After a couple of minutes, he straightens up a bit and takes in a much needed deep breath.
When he turns his head to face hers, they're so close that one easy movement can bump their noses together. She almost jumps out of her skin when she feels his thumb comes up to wipe a rouge tear from her cheek.
"Feel better?" YN whispers between them. The feel of her breath on his lips mixed with his heightened emotions has him holding himself back from leaning in the rest of the way. He wonders if her lips still tasted like syrup.
Not trusting his own voice, he just gives her a small nod. With a word, he rests his head on her shoulder. He closes his eyes and lets out a hum when he feels her finger softly rub against his scalp. It doesn't take long before his breathing evens out and they maneuver their position so his head lays across her lap.
It takes a while before YN falls asleep. She looks down at the man, her band mate, her best friend in her lap and wonders what the hell she's gotten herself into.
SINCE 2010 masterlist
Taglist:
@wobblymug @be-with-me-so-happily @ashtongivesmebutterflies @kiwiskiwiskiwi @darlingdesire @obsesseddd @hopefulwastelandcreation @cacapeepee @breezie-b00 @harrysfolklore @theekyliepage @sunshinemoonsposts @nervousspiderling @tbslonelyhes @tenaciousperfectionunknown @harrystylesrecs @certified-nalayak @itsjustsel @iknowyouthinkimbulletproof @gviosca @behindmygreyeyes @twobluejeans @allisonxmcu @theemeraldbutterfly @jean-love-armin @marvellover-sam @b-reads-things @reveriehs @rach2602 @thurhomish @perrypughstyles @luvonstyles @mxltifxnd0m @teamspideyman @c00chiemonster @juiceboxrry @harringt8ns @folklorehrry @illicithallways @claramllera @eunoiaax @hoya122 @nichmedder @sleutherclaw @gloriousmoneyrascalbiscuit
#harry x 1dbandmember!reader#since 2010 series#harry styles x reader#harry styles x y/n#harry styles x you#harry styles fanfiction#harry styles#harry styles blurb#one direction#one direction fanfiction#harry styles imagine#harry styles fanfic#harry styles writing#famous!yn#famous!reader#harry styles and reader#harry styles and y/n#harry styles angst#harry styles masterlist#harry styles one shot#harry styles concept
552 notes
·
View notes
Text
[230303] ATEEZ are showing the world another side of K-pop by Taylor Glasby of i-D
Going stratospheric despite their small agency beginnings, the arena headliners discuss manifesting success and their secret ambitions.
ATEEZ have just played a raucous show to 20,000 fans at London’s O2 Arena. Backstage, with the adrenalin still pumping, Hongjoong, Seonghwa, Yeosang, Mingi, San, Wooyoung, Yunho and Jongho are talking about football. Mingi, deep-voiced, his cropped hair cotton candy pink, is a Chelsea fan. Jongho, the band’s youngest at 22, follows Spurs. “Which is better?” asks Mingi. My tentative, uninformed guess (“Spurs?”) yields triumphant hoots and disappointed groans, as Jongho reaches over for a fist bump and hi-five. This exchange isn’t so much about football, as it is a reflection of ATEEZ wanting to make everyone they encounter feel welcome – a habit unchanged despite their stratospheric rise through the global pop landscape since debuting in late 2018.
During their week-long stay, they meet fans (known as ATINY) at a signing event, make late-night TikToks beneath the glow of Big Ben, go live on YouTube from a cosy corner of a hotel room, and watch South Korean forward Son Heungmin score at a Tottenham Hotspur game. The club’s home stadium (soon to host Beyoncé’s five London concerts) leaves a lasting impression on Yeosang: “When I saw how big it was and how loud the people were, I thought about how I want to be an artist that can play there,” he says in his slightly raspy voice. Wooyoung’s thoughts, however, linger Stateside in the wake of their most recent EP, Spin Off: From The Witness, earning them a second Top 10 entry on the Billboard 200 in early January. “I don’t know if it’s a team goal or my own,” he admits, “but I do want a #1 on the Billboard Hot 100. Hoping for it to happen is the easy part, but what’s necessary is the confidence and bravery in the belief that it will happen.”
ATEEZ’ ambitious nature is an overarching constant to their rapid growth as individuals and artists, useful as both a touchstone of their success and a beacon for their creative output. It was present on their first record, Treasure EP1: All To Zero, which set up a rebellious narrative (now a complex and sprawling alt-world storyline) just as much as it drives their meteoric singles and the exploratory genre-overlaps of their B-sides. As a result, they’ve become a prolific and landmark group. The World EP.1: Movement (their ninth EP, out in July 2022) was ATEEZ’ first platinum-selling release, a major accomplishment for an idol group from a relatively small K-pop agency.
Hongjong, the band’s leader, thinks and talks fast (today, in English) but he pauses to take a moment to muse over their trajectory. “Many people say that I can be proud of being a group from a small company that has made their own way. So if we continually do it like this with ATINY, then in the future people might agree that ATEEZ have made a change in K-pop. I think for now though, we haven’t done enough.”
They hope, notes Seonghwa (the band’s eldest member at 24), that their achievements will eventually be on a broader scale. “We’d love to be the people behind that movement,” he says. Hongjoong nods in agreement: “I want for us to provide people with a better understanding of K-pop worldwide. There are people who continue to say that K-pop is so technical and manufactured but K-pop isn’t just a single genre; each group has a different type of art and I want to show how we express our art to everyone. When I look into the crowd at concerts, I can see so many people of all ages and backgrounds yet stereotypes against the artists and the fans still exist.”
In the early days of ATEEZ, it was evident that Hongjoong and Mingi played a key role alongside their music production team, Edenary, and that a sense of individualism seemed to be encouraged in the group’s performances. These are both now acknowledged as strengths in their arsenal. The Fellowship: Break The Wall, their third world tour, serves to highlight their unified stance while showcasing the members’ idiosyncrasies — from dance style to sense of humour — but also how comfortably they inhabit the stage.
“During our 2019 Expedition tour, we learned a lot about how to perform with every show we did,” says Yunho, an effortlessly impressive dancer. “Then during the pandemic, we studied and developed how to really make the performance; working on the stage configuration and synchronisation of moves amongst ourselves. When we came back to Europe and the US last year for the Fellowship: The Beginning of the End tour, we were able to see how everything we’d worked on and our personal growth came together on that stage.”
For some members, the process has involved looking beyond the stage in order to feel more at home on it. Yeosang’s regimented program of working out put him physically and mentally in a stronger place: “I relieve my stress while exercising, but my breathing got better and my muscles also got better, so overall it connected into a great result on stage.” San and Seonghwa also turned inward, sifting through mental libraries of borrowed or imaginary traits to build and inhabit new characters for their performances.
“I always have a lot of imaginative thoughts,” says Seonghwa, whose general serenity is replaced by a lightning-strike energy on stage and sparks of playfulness when you least expect it. “Even before sleeping, I tend to think about fantastical things,” he continues. “I use these to decide on how I’m going to be on stage and make sure the atmosphere matches with elements like my outfit.”
“For San, it’s movies and dramas [that inspire his performances], he takes those characters on,” explains Wooyoung. San, widely lauded for having an explosive stage presence, makes his creative choices the day of. “If there’s something I think of that I want to do that day, I share it with everyone to see if it will be okay. Then we create that image together and I simply express myself.”
Wooyoung, who is both mischievous and magnetic, looks to those he admires for guidance. “I mostly look at videos of our seniors – Jimin (BTS), Taeyang (Big Bang), Hoshi (SEVENTEEN), there’s so many – I get inspiration from them and make it my own on stage.” It’s a process also adopted by Yunho. “There are artists that I can pull from, like Rain, learning from them in order to realise my own style,” Yunho says. “On stage, it’s just me, I’m myself, but I have all this in the back of my mind.”
The title of their current tour, The Fellowship: Break The Wall, is derived from last summer’s single, “Guerrilla”, on which the phrase “break the wall” is chanted with increasing ferocity, culminating in a screamo-style vocal outro. It’s one of the show’s many high points, with ATINY putting their everything into screaming along with the band. The atmosphere grows feverish, the stage bathed in red light as the giant screens flash through the dystopian city of their storyline. It’s unbridled to the point of being transcendental. San grins, reflecting on this moment. “It’s difficult to explain,” he says of the experience, while Hongjoong sees in it the removal of cultural barriers through music. “I see ATINY during ‘Guerrilla’ singing along really loud and really tough,” he says. “They come to our show, they memorise our lyrics, they shout. That’s how they’re breaking the wall, by coming together.”
Since last October, ATEEZ have been playing arenas across Asia, the US and Europe, adding extra nights as they go in order to accommodate the demand, and garnering rave reviews — even from broadsheet media, for whom K-pop remains a confusing phenomenon — in the process. But their feet, heart and heads remain earthbound. “Nothing in this world is guaranteed,” says Wooyoung. “We’re always grateful for everything. It’s something we’ve discussed as a group, but it’s all thanks to ATINY’s love and support that we’re where we are now. To become global artists and a good influence on even more people, we have to hold a sense of responsibility to give our all on stage and deliver our truth. Honestly, it’s less about dreaming of an unknown future and more about how we have to work harder so we can go even higher and pave our own path.”
ATEEZ’ success is holistic in form: personality, performance and music. A harmonious but intriguing balance of authenticity and polish. Their impressive discography features recurring motifs (waves, moon, light) and ideologies (power, truth, rebellion, movement), yet Mingi and Hongjoong — who have written lyrics on every ATEEZ track so far — admit they’re still learning how best to combine what’s on their minds with what’s conducive to furthering their storyline. It is, they agree, not always an easy task.
“It’s absolutely hard to focus on so many themes,” says Hongjoong. “Sometimes my brain stops, so I watch movies or our music videos again. I think too much when I write but, after that work, the lyrics have more power for the fans who know our storyline; they get different emotions and a different effect when I’ve done that work well. It’s really hard but it’s important to do.”
Hongjoong had an epiphany when he picked up a camera while touring last year. “There's such fierce competition – not just in music but all industries – so if there’s no purpose, I’ve always found it really hard to create freely. We have continuous deadlines. I do the first album, then the second, and once I complete the second album I have to start on the third. I’ve found my hobby with a film camera. I walk around taking photos and I can see that even if I have no immediate purpose, I can create something.” It’s something that’s changed his approach to songwriting. “These days, when I write lyrics or produce a song, I just start from zero,” he explains. “Before, if we had a pirate theme, for example, I would start with that as a topic. That’s why I found it so hard.” He now works backward, getting down exactly what he wants to say before connecting it to the narrative markers. “It’s quite different but it’s more comfortable for me and the results are better than before.”
Hongjoong and Mingi, the group’s rappers, point to last year’s "Halazia” as the hardest storyline track to pen. “The atmosphere of the song is already quite difficult and complex,” Hongjoong notes, looking over to Mingi, who explains his process of cataloguing his many thoughts to later draw from. “I write down a lot of them as memos on my phone, so I always go back to them to see if they match what we’re going through (as a group); that’s how I write my lyrics,” he says. “Sometimes I’ll think of it as writing a script, to really get into that persona."
Mingi and Hongjoong are not the only collectors and creators in ATEEZ. “In my case,” says Seonghwa, “I always memo whenever I hear a line from a song or a line from a poem that I like, just for me to look back on. I’m the type to jot down my feelings if I experience something special. These help me when I write letters or want to say something to ATINY because I’m able to better word my feelings.” San, meanwhile, cites legendary South Korean poet 나 태주 (Ra Tae-joo) as an influence. “I love poems too — I’ve been writing my own but I keep them to myself,” he says. “They can be about my feelings on a certain day, the weather, objects or characters. I’m able to lay out my feelings like this.”
Now in their fourth year, ATEEZ remain as set on the idea of constantly challenging themselves as they were when they were hungry rookies. Take Jongho for example, whose rich, gut-punching vibrato forms the backbone of many of their songs. When he listened back to The World EP.1: Movement for the first time, he admits that he was “worried because my voice was used in ways that I hadn’t tried before, and I wondered how my vocal colour was going to fit”. He sat down with their producers and worked through “how we could still make it still an ATEEZ song and match my tone, while trying something new. I’ve gained more confidence — it makes me want to do better for all the albums to come.”
Hongjoong laughs. “It means our next albums are, uh, a big thing,” he reveals, knowingly. “There are so many good K-pop and pop stars that if we want to go higher, we have to have more good songs and try other genres, too.” But even as he muses on ATEEZ’ continuing expansion, the idea of one day becoming ‘too big to fail’ doesn’t appeal to him. “No, absolutely not that,” he says, gaze steady. “I want ATINY to be able to tell us if something is bad. I like it when they do this because we don’t want to just give them our popularity. I want to give them good quality, not just a song or a video or a performance.” Does the fact that music is subjective; that no single song can please everybody, bring some comfort? “We try to find the middle ground,” Hongjoong says. “The first thing to note is that if we think it’s really great but someone else says that they think it’s trash, then we don’t really care what they think. But when we’re unsure and questioning and someone says, ‘Yeah, it’s bad’, then ok, we go back to square one.”
The thought of ATEEZ honing their creative output through repeated baptisms of fire might well upset some fans, but the band are not only accustomed to the fame game’s highs and lows but wholly pragmatic in the face of its shadows. So when Wooyoung says he’s aware of “many people” who openly disparage their music, Hongjoong shrugs a little as he responds. “Yeah, there are. We talk about this a lot together, but if there are many more haters than before, it just means we’re more popular than before,” he reasons.
The group finds positive equilibrium via a heartfelt focus on ATINY, and all that comes with being an idol group who are years into a very successful career. “When we look at line-ups now, we’re closing the show,” says Wooyoung. “And as we perform, we see the other artists watching us, and we realise we have more responsibility. Firstly to ATINY, who have been loving us and supporting us from the start, but there’s also a responsibility to spread K-pop and Korean culture because we’re travelling around the world as Korean artists.”
One of ATEEZ many dualities is that while they have big, burning aspirations — Billboard charts, Grammys, performing at the Super Bowl — that make them look at each other starry-eyed, some of their ambitions are precious in a different way: they’re simpler, more immediate. “I’d like to be happier than the day before,” says Mingi. “And I want for us to never change our sincerity toward music and gratitude to our fans,” adds Seonghwa. This is echoed by San, who adds that ultimately, “I’d be satisfied if ATEEZ’ name came up when someone asks who the coolest artist is at the end of the year.”
“I want to make more events with ATINY,” says Hongjoong. “That’s a goal for this year because we always miss them and they always miss us.” Jongho, sitting in the middle of the group, is smiling. He’s been manifesting a more personal ambition. “By next winter I want to be able to snowboard,” he says. “I want to buy my own board, go down the mountain and not fall.”
89 notes
·
View notes
Text
April 30, 2023: Oral History of Insatiability, Jason Myers
Oral History of Insatiability
Jason Myers
I woke in the wreck of history
still drowsy, a dryness in my
bed, my bones. Would you
like fingers, the Lord asked,
& gave me plenty. There was
no music, no garden in them.
I wanted to be touched the way
I had touched, delicately, but
with great passion. If you want
another kind of lover, Leonard
Cohen crooned. Not my will,
Martin Luther King intoned,
but God's. I wanted a word
for every surface, for the belly
& the underbelly, the line between
the lines. There was a secret
name inside every living thing,
a song underneath every song.
What happened then, I asked,
meaning both before & next.
The Lord said Kabul. Said
manifest destiny. Said Rembrandt
said Bordeaux said Dakota
said Chelsea Hotel said Egyptian
cotton said Homer. The Greek
poet, I asked. No. Homer Plessy.
Oh, I said. I see. But I did not.
Lulls, curtains, continuations.
You want company, the Lord asked,
& made New Orleans, oceans,
rye bread, Cointreau. There
were some companions sent
by another party. There were
days smothered in solitude,
nights when I thought, if only
I could sleep, if only...but I
could not complete the sentence.
Are you hungry, the Lord asked.
Oh my. Oh yes. Oh my yes.
--
Also by Jason Myers: Hotel Orpheus
Jason is an excellent poet and human being. His first book was just published, and it’s gorgeous: Maker of Heaven &.
--
I don’t know where this month went! As always, thanks for letting me spam you, and for your kind notes.
More to come in 11 short months. In the meantime, check it out, you can:
- Visit a random poem sent in the past at april-is.tumblr.com/random
- Browse poems by topic
- Or skim them chronologically
Until next time, mes amours.
Martha
52 notes
·
View notes
Text
Taylor Swift - Favorite Lyrics From Each Song - Part 11
Fortnight: I love you, it's ruining my life
I touched you for only a fortnight
I touched you
But I touched you
The Tortured Poets Department: This ain't the Chelsea Hotel
We're modern idiots
My Boy Only Breaks His Favorite Toys: There was a litany of reasons why
We could've played for keeps this time
Down Bad: 'Cause fuck it, I was in love
So fuck you if I can't have us
So Long, London: And I'm pissed off you let me give you all that youth for free
For so long, London
But Daddy I Love Him: I'm having his baby
No, I'm not, but you should see your faces
Fresh Out the Slammer: Camera flashes, welcome bashes
Get the matches, toss the ashes off the ledge
Florida!!!: Well, me and my ghosts, we had a hell of a time
Guilty As Sin?: I keep recalling things we never did
Messy top lip kiss, how I long for our trysts
Without ever touching his skin
How can I be guilty as sin?
Who's Afraid of Little Old Me?: "Who's afraid of little old me?"
You should be
I Can Fix Him (No Really I Can): Whoa, maybe I can't
loml: A conman sells a fool a get-love-quick scheme
But I felt a hole like this
Never before and ever since
I Can Do It With A Broken Heart: They said, "Babe, you gotta fake it 'til you make it"
And I did
The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived: And I don't even want you back, I just want to know
If rusting my sparkling summer was the goal
The Alchemy: He jokes that it's heroin but this time with an "E"
Clara Bow: You look like Taylor Swift
The Black Dog: Old habits die screaming
imgonnagetyouback: Even if it's handcuffed, I'm leaving here with you
The Albatross: You were sleeping soundly when they dragged you from your bed
And I tried to warn you about them
Chloe or Sam or Sophia or Marcus: Back to the moment I crashed into you
Like so many wrecks do
How Did It End?: Come one, come all
It's happening again
The empathetic hunger descends
So High School: Are you gonna marry, kiss, or kill me?
I Hate It Here: And way up there, I actually love it
thanK you aIMee: But I can't forget the way you made me heal
I Look In People's Windows: What if your eyes looked up and met mine
One more time
The Prophecy: I guess a lesser woman would've lost hope
A greater woman wouldn't beg
But I looked to the sky and said
Please
Cassandra: So they killed Cassandra first
'Cause she feared the worst
And tried to tell the town
Peter: Promises oceans deep
But never to keep
The Bolter: Started with a kiss
"Oh, we must stop meeting like this"
Robin: You have no room in your dreams for regrets
The Manuscript: Now and then I re-read the manuscript
But the story isn't mine anymore
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
"This ain't the Chelsea Hotel. We're modern idiots," has been in my head on repeat. The Chelsea Hotel is a place pretty famous in New York for writers and artists and musicians. It's where the Sex Pistols Sid Vicious supposedly killed his girlfriend, Nancy Spungeon. It's supposedly haunted and a whole bunch of other things have happened there. And it gets romanticized because of the old-fashioned idea that artists have to be sad to make great art which is fucking bullshit. Patti Smith also lived there. Dylan Thomas died there. But I feel like this lyric is basically like, "we're artists, but it doesn't have to be this hard to be in love or live, just because we're creative." And she's right. You can take care of your mental health and your well-being and still be creative and it doesn't make you less of an artist. Same with relationships. Love and art don't have to torment you to be great. It probably will be sometimes, but it's okay if you're like, "I create weird things because it's my vibe. I create cute things because it's my vibe. I love you because you put blankets on me when it's cold out and remember my coffee order, not because we're kissing in the rain, and it's love songs all of the time."
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
Who is She.
Mother: (self-definition): Protector
Arizona. Michael's mom, brother and other family live there. We travelled for 3 days maybe 4. We had 2 cats with us, Gemini and Romeo; I forget how we acquired him. He was a sweet orange kitty and loved to roam the neighborhood. Somewhere between moving from Illinois, visiting Iowa for my birthday and moving to Arizona, we stopped for ice cream and I let him try it... then I couldn't get him to stop eating it. I remember watching a home video, we're at a park, sister and I out of the car and parents in the car. She aims the camera at me asking me what happened, and the look of disappointment on my face as I look down at my ice cream, which I barely had taken a lick of. We couldn't help but laugh.
Family of 4 packed with 2 cats, tailer in tow. I think it was a 96 ford escort. Missouri, Kansas, Oklahoma, Texas, New Mexico. Arizona. We stopped in Texas to see some of Michael's old friends. This is when my love for a Great Dane started. They had 2, I think, probably such a big dog in a small house, it seemed like it was 2. He had his own couch and lived like a king. I remember he didn't like the video camera. She found that out. On the road again. One of the cats pooped in the car, I laughed and sister cried, it was on her blanket. We stopped in Albuquerque. So incredibly cool that we passed through as the Hot Air Balloon Fest was happening. I loved to see them in all sorts of shapes and characters and colors! Just wow. We stayed at a hotel once or twice. One of the nights we stayed at a hotel, a fight broke out between my parents. I couldn't sleep, the TV on, apparently Michael couldn't sleep either. He put on the porn channel and was playing with himself. He didn't know I was awake, I didn't know what to do, I was kind of frozen. If I moved, I feared he'd know I was awake, Id get in trouble. He started to play with her too. They fucked while we were in the same room. I mean.. that's weird right? I was 7, sister 5. If they were in the bathroom together or something, not that it would make it better, but at least we wouldn't be in the same room, 3 feet away. I think she realized I was awake. Michael punched the wall, they were screaming at each other, I don't remember words, just the energy. Violent. I felt like it was my fault. I remember looking at him like I was supposed to say I'm sorry. Sorry for what? Being a kid. existing? I don't think anything was ever mentioned of that again. Back on the road.
We moved in with Grandma J, Michael's mom, and Jeremy, her roommate. She was so excited to see him after so many years. Hearing her yell his name and run to him with open arms. That's a sweet core memory. I think he had been in Arkansas for a while, maybe he lived with his dad at some point and learned he wasn't what he thought? I have a feeling their relationship has always been a bit strained. My parents had the master bed with the bathroom. It was definitely a small house, there was a huge back yard though. I guess this is when my story gets more messy. She learns an awful lot about Michael and his vices. Their drinking didn't get better and it seem that meth was still making a monster of them. I remember her tweaking out that a cop lived across the street. She peeked through the blinds often, thinking someone is watching the house. Was Grandma J in on their addiction too? Jeremy?
The neighborhood kids were cool! Alvey and his brothers Sampson and Zane, Lacey and her brother Andrew, Chelsea and her brother Jake, LeTizia and her brother Emelio, Natalie was an only child brat, there were some girls who lived on the end of the street, I forget their name. I got caught stealing my parents lighters to pretend to smoke weed under her back porch; rolled up leaves in a play-doh pipe, man did that shit burn! Daniel, and his brothers. I was in love with Daniel, I suppose he was my first kiss! Mike and Marc McCoy, twins, all the girls swooned. We were the cool kids. We built ramps out of cinder blocks and ply wood for our bikes. Had to see how many of us we could jump over, before the back tire hit someone. Many major bifs when the board snapped. How high of a jump could we make? 3,4 blocks high? 5? Letizia told the story of El Chupacabra, had me scared for months. We definitely tried. Chelsea "married" Emileo, he was 5 and she was 12, young love! We had balloons, food, cake, and gifts to celebrate the new couple. I have a photo album of that! Gem! Sister and Zane were on and off. When Daniel moved, I was in love with Alvey, but crushing hard on his older brother Sampson. So many cool forts were built! Tarps, 2X4's, nails and cinder blocks. Why there was a pleather of cinderblocks, I do not know.
Uncle Richard got a new 4 wheeler and had to bring it over to play. That's the cool thing about Arizona, trails everywhere. Empty lots had dirt bike jumps, don't wreck, you'll fall into the cactus. Michael took me for a long ride, I sat in front of him so I could drive once we got on the trail. It was so cool! Wide open on the throttle, doing donuts. I loved it! When we got home, though, she was freaking out. They had a HUGE fight, I remember. I had gone to the bathroom, and she rushed in and asked me what was in my urine. How was I supposed to know what was going on. I responded confused, "I don't know.. bubbles?'. On the ride, Michael had taken over the throttle on the 4 wheeler, I remember his hand being wet. She thought he touched me or raped me or something, she was pissed. I don't remember what gave her that impression that had happened. I never was able to understand the why or what was so sexual about the drive. I still don't. This was the first incident of many.
#storytime#lifestory#moving#growth#spirtualjourney#healing#mental abuse#child abuse#journal#journey#childhood trauma#inner child#childhood memory#core memory
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
Time Passing Ch 2
The cold December freeze hit them hard as Darren and Chelsea has left the bar. Instead of carrying her guitar all the way home, Chelsea had decided to pack it back in its suitcase and send it to her hotel with her hand, telling her bandmates that she’d be back later. With nothing but a white t-shirt as his top, Darren found himself struggling to keep his composure as he started to shiver, hugging himself tight for warmth. After a little while, when Chelsea had felt like it was just the two of them, she stopped and took off her leather jacket, throwing it onto Darren’s arms.
“Here, take it. I’ve got a long sleeve shirt on anyways.”, Chelsea said.
“Thanks.”, Darren said, throwing on the jacket, “Uhh…don’t take this as me being an ungrateful bastard or anything, but why are you being so nice to me?”
“Why wouldn’t I be?”
“You don’t remember all the fights we had as kids? That one time we nearly choked each other unconscious before Papa came in and stopped us? Not to mention, all the times we insulted one another, even in front of Cosmo? I mean, don’t you still resent me.”
“The only person I resent is Ma-I mean Nora. She doesn’t deserve to be called a mother.”, Chelsea muttered, though Darren could hear that she was holding back shivers of her own, despite her assurance that she’d be fine, “Despite what you think, I don’t hate you Darren. I just never approved of your choices, and I was scared you were gonna turn out like that curly-haired troll.”
“Hey, I only started because we didn’t have any other options when Papa wasn’t around. It wasn’t like Nora was gonna get off her lazy ass and get us food. It’d be too much work to give a shit about anyone but herself.”, Darren ranted, and to his surprise, received a laugh from Chelsea.
“You remember the time she was rushing the barista at the donut shop because she had to wait an extra minute on her order?”, Chelsea smirked, making Darren nearly explode in laughter.
“Oh my god, yes, and her head shrinking when that barista ended up putting something in her drink. That shit was hilarious.”, Darren laughed, though wasn’t sure why Chelsea had brought that up, “Why’s that matter.”
“It doesn’t, but I always found it hilariously sad what lengths she would go through to make other miserable. Plus, I honesty find it funny to bring up some of the dumb shit she’s done.”, Chelsea shrugged, “Guess it’s kind of a coping mechanism of mind. Dude, I shit you not, I literally danced on her grave when Papa wasn’t looking at her funeral.”
“Wow, finally something we have in common. Never thought I’d live to see the day. I’m almost proud”, Darren chuckled, finding himself feeling a little more light hearted as the two continued their path, “I still remember that one time she nearly tried to shoot someone at a Wish fil A over someone taking too long at the drive thru. I can’t imagine what would’ve happened if Papa wasn’t there.”
“Dude, I wish you would’ve been there for Cosmo’s baby shower.”, Chelsea said, recounting that faithful evening, “She and Wanda started a fist fight over…god, I don’t really remember but It was definitely over something stupid. Both of them were so drunk out of their minds, I thought they’d get arrested or some shit.”
“Damn. Is he doing ok, by the way? Does he know I’m out?”
“I dunno. Probably not. It’s been a while since I talked to him, but when we did, he seemed fine. I dunno. You’ll have to call and tell him yourself.”, Chelsea said, as the two had finally come across a tall, magenta building with a double door at the front. The building was about 15 stories tall, and some of the lights in the windows were lit-up, while others were just as dark as the night sky.
Beginning to feel his stomach getting queasy and his heart race, Darren had no choice but to follow Chelsea into the office and talk to the receptionist at the front desk.
“Excuse me, what apartment does a Linnie Cosma live in again? I’m his daughter, Chelsea.”, she asked the receptionist, a brown haired male that looked no older than 19,000. The kid smiled at her as he checked the book of records and found Linnie’s name under the list of current tenants.
“He’s in 701. Just take the elevator to the 7th floor and it should spit you right in front of his door.”, the kid said, “Oh and by the way, your new song, Fat Fucking Bitch, is one of my favorites. What’s the inspiration for it?”
“Oh you know, just a relative of mine.”, Chelsea smirked as Darren tried to hold in his laughter, before she lead the both of them towards the elevator. Darren felt his anxiety getting worse and worse as they got closer to the 7th floor, his heart dropping at the sound of a loud DING! Just as the receptionist had promised, the two fairies immediately found themselves standing in front of a white, wooden door with a bronze 7, 0, and 1 plated on the front. Chelsea knocked on the door and waited for a minute, only to receive no answer.
“Oh well, sounds like he’s asleep. Oh damn, well, I guess I better crash at the hotel or something.”, Darren said, attempting to leave only for Chelsea to pinch his ear.
“Oh no, you don’t get to pussy out, get back over here.”, she said, “Let’s just try one more time. Maybe he didn’t hear me.”
Chelsea knocked on the door a bit louder this time, initially receiving no answer. But before Darren could sigh in relief and leave the apartment, a “Be right there!” was heard from the other side, along with some footsteps moving around. Within the next few minutes, the door finally opened, revealing a tall man that looked almost exactly like Cosmo, except his hair was slightly longer and wore rectangular reading glasses, alongside a green turtleneck sweater and black pants, with a belt resting at his waist. The man smiled softly as he pulled Chelsea into a hug, rubbing her back gently.
“Oh, I missed you so much, honey! What are you doing here? I thought you had a tour?”, Linnie asked, before noticing Darren, who waved awkwardly. Chelsea smirked at the two males.
“Well, I was gonna head back to the hotel before I found a little surprise.”, Chelsea said, “He was wondering if he could stay here for the night, so he can take care of his own apartment tomorrow and make sure it hadn’t been put back up for lease.”
“Oh, of course. Come in, both of you, please.”, Linnie said gently, allowing Chelsea to go through before stopping Darren, pulling him into another hug, “I’ve missed you. I’m so glad you’re ok.”
“Ack…good to see you too Papa.”, Darren managed to grunt out, before Linnie let go, and had him sit down at the couch. Compared to their childhood home, Linnie’s single apartment was much nicer, despite being a lot smaller. It was only a one bedroom, but there wasn’t a trace of alcohol stained on the light pink walls, and the cream carpet was nice and clean. Darren sat on a green, leather couch as he looked around at the living room, with not a single picture of Nora’s pig-like face on the wall. Instead, there were frames of the few good memories the kids had growing up, when Nora would have to go out of town, or just flat out never came home at all. Darren couldn’t help but tear up a little bit as he saw a picture of him as an 8,000 year old, swinging on the swing set as Linnie stood behind him, pushing him.
Next to the TV that centered the room, Darren also saw a green shelve of books resting neatly in rows. He even smirked a little bit when he saw some titles that mentioned divorce, and how to celebrate after leaving a toxic relationship.
“Papa? Do you have any beer?”, Chelsea called from the kitchen, digging around a stainless, steel fridge.
“No dear, I don’t drink, remember?”, Linnie said sweetly, before turning towards Darren, his eyes filled with compassion, “Oh dear, you look so cold…and it looks like you hadn’t gotten a good meal in several years.”
“Well…I mean….I WAS kind of you know…in prison.”
“Oh my god Darren, don’t be rude.”, Chelsea said, rolling her eyes as she got a water from the fridge, “So Papa, What’s new? You’ve been ok?’
“Yes sweetheart, I’ve been alright. I’ve just been working at the nursery most of the time, and here when I’m off. Sometimes I get to babysit a little one though, and that’s usually a lot of fun. Uhm..”, Linnie said, looking concerned at Darren’s body, “Do you want something to eat? I could make a nice soup for you if you’d like.”
“Nah, I had a burger and fries at the bar, not too long ago. In fact, that’s how Chelsea caught a wind of me being in town.”
“Well, alright then, but I think I’ll go ahead and make you some tea. It’ll keep you warm, hun.”, Linnie said, getting up from the couch as he fidgeting around with the cupboards and pantry, pouring hot water into a pot, “How long have you been released?”
“Only since earlier today. Didn’t have much else to go, so I ended up camping at the park for a little while to find some extra change lying around, before I went to the bar.”
“Oh dear, well you should’ve just straight to me, or called me. I could have picked you up and taken you home with me, or we could have called your landlord to figure something out. It would have been better than leaving you to walk in the cold.”, Linnie said, as he finished up the tea, pouring some into 3 little tea cups and bringing them to his kids. “How long are you still going to be in town, Chelsea?”
“Probably got one more night here before I get outta here for the next show. Honestly, I really only come to drop that one off since he didn’t have anywhere to go this evening.”
“Oh? Are you sure you don’t want to stay as well? I’ve got enough pillows and blankets, and I don’t mind going and getting the air mattresses out of storage.”
“Nah, I wanna keep a sharp eye on my equipment.”, Chelsea said, sipping the cup until it was empty, “Uh..you don’t mind, do you?”
“Of course not. All 3 of you know that you’re always welcome to stay here if you need, I promise.”, Linnie said, smiling gently.
“Man, we really don’t deserve you Papa.”
“Wait a minute, Dad”, Darren started, “Speaking of 3 of us, have you spoken to Cosmo lately? Does he know I’ve been released.”
“No dear, but I’m sure he’d be happy to know you’re out. Why?”
“No reason, just wondering.”, Darren yawned, placing his cup down, signaling Linnie to get up and go through one of the closets in his apartment, taking out a white pillow and a green blanket. Chelsea cleared the table and put the tea cups in the sink, taking her jacket back from Darren.
“Well, I guess I’ll let you two get some shut eye then. Darren, give me a call when you get up just so I make sure you’re still alive.”, Chelsea said, half-jokingly half-seriously before hugging her father once more, “Bye Papa.”
3 notes
·
View notes
Note
hi!
so I've unfortunately been a throam stan for a longg time. i also have the physical copies and have even been to nyc and seen the Chelsea hotel which is fucking wild
to make things even crazier/worse depending on your stance I just so happen to discover this pod right before moving to central London to start my undergrad degree. so I've literally been walking through London at midnight listening to the podcast and I've been fucking loving it.
thank you guys sm for this pod, you guys are so funny and genuine and have made me regress back to my 13 year old presplit obsessed self - now I'm on stan twt, thank you for that 💀
anyway, I wanted to talk abt coming back to throam as a lesbian (like an actual one, not like teen lesbian phase y'all were talking about in the prologue ep) it's been really interesting to read the internalised homophobia from ryan in vol 1 bc I related to that a lot when I first few times i read it, whereas now I relate a lot more to Brendon in a "secure in my sexuality and doesn't give a fuck" type of way. I don't really have a direct question but basically I was curious about your thoughts on the state of throam/bandom in the year of our lord 2022 and how/why you think it's full of queer people lmao.
anyway if you read this I hope u guys are doing well!! can't wait for more episodes!
–lunarlakes
#williamrights
Hey lunarlakes!!!
We are so happy you are enjoying the pod!!! I think we are having an interesting time dissecting Ryan's internalized homophobia and there is a bunch of discourse on it in the new ep. In terms of relating to it, I think Astrid and I don't as much as we had a support network when we were coming out/ being young impressionable queer people; internalized homophobia exists for us, just not at a Ryan intensity.
In terms of the state of bandom, I personally think it's thriving and I'm really living for the MCR revival (I'll just pretend that Panic! is inactive). In terms of the queer audience- I think it's an intersection between alt and "boybands" (although none of these are really boybands) that resulted in a majority queer female audience. Also that clip of Gerard telling female fans not to flash their tits put feminism forward 50 years.
-<3<3<3 Lucy
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
in honor of tays new achievement occupying the top 10 songs (top 14 technically hehehe) on the billboard chart for the second time in her career and being the only artist to ever do so.... i wanted to talk torchiepo!! since i never did even though i said i was. (im busy im soz)
this is just going to be my really messy really scattered and disorganized thoughts on ttpd, bc i wanted to, so here they are. i think its tays most misunderstood album. i think that the media is heavily biased against her and her fans just so happen to speak louder than the critics and thats why you hear more positive than negative (thankfully). i think that her peers are extremely envious of her. taylor is unlike anything, any person, any artist. she is consistently peaking, she is consistently breaking her own records, therefore this is not someone that is going to be scrutinized or critiqued very fairly. people have these preconceived notions of her and their own thoughts on her as a person and how deserving she is of her fame and success. all of this is fine its just unfair when considering her art. CNN literally admitted to judging ttpd too harshly when it first came out. they were not judging the album. it is virtually impossible to consume and understand an artist's work just hours within it being released to the public, let alone a 2 HOUR, 31 TRACK ALBUM. they were judging HER. so they literally amended their review and yeah of course youre gonna like the album more after spending more time digesting it. stupid.
anyway. this album is really textured and layered and youre gonna naturally appreciate it more if you understand taylors lore. lol that sounds so funny to say but its really true. her songs naturally evolve in pop culture and become sound tracks to not just her life but her fans lives and they can be applied and understood in different ways. her older songs are true testaments of this, how theyre more generic love songs with winks and nods that allow her fans to understand who theyre *really* about/ what they mean to her. but ttpd is deeper than that, its really personal and unique to her life. no youre not going to relate to clara bow this is unique to her experience in the industry. no youre not gonna relate to thanK you aIMee because youve never beefed with kim kardashian and forcibly exiled from america. no youre not going to relate to the manuscript this is distinctly about her relationship when she was barely an adult dating a 30 year old movie star and her harrowing revisit to that trauma as she wrote the script for atw10 short film. right. yes we all wish we couldve dated jake gyllenhaal but we didnt, you didnt, she did. she saved us. shes literally christ. hahaha. anyway.
ok also a lot of people kind of fail to recognize the funniness and satire of this album. it is SO funny, and shes trying to make it funny, she literally explains this past stage of her life as a manic little phase that naturally would occur when dating one matty healy (ok she didnt say that explicitly i did but shebasically said that. in not so many words). okay if you dont get the jokes in the album do you know matty? i thank my lucky stars that i was an avid 2014 tumblrina and fan of the 1975 and i literally saw them last year, was very fun, matty is also a self-satirizing performer but this post isnt for him so i wont get into all of that either. but yeah people trying to talk down on her and say 'awww sweetie no....taylor youre not a poet....be so serious' oh my god!!! i want to scratch ur eyeballs out. SHE IS NOT SAYING SHES A POET!!! "I laughed in your face and said 'You're not Dylan Thomas, I'm not Patti Smith This ain't the Chelsea Hotel, we'rе modern idiots' " IS HER TELLING MATTY YOU ARE NOT A POET AND NEITHER AM I! so she literally agrees with you on that front.
i want to go through all the songs and all the lines and just gush about the masterful lyricism she possesses but i still feel like i havent had enough time with this album after a week. its such perfection. all the callbacks to her old songs, the influence of her co-producers jack and aaron and past albums culminating into this perfect blend of red-folk-nights?! ugh!!!! i love her so much. i love this album. TO PIECES
0 notes
Text
Top 5 memoirs to inspire your own creative projects:
1. Just Kids by Patti Smith
This book is a poetic masterpiece. It is a glimpse into a chapter of supreme creativity and artistic collaboration. Robert Mapplethorpe and Patti Smith were fearless friends who helped each other develop their unique styles. You can imagine yourself sitting side by side with them in their room in the Chelsea Hotel while reading her vividly beautiful depictions. And it may even inspire you to make the most fearless work you've made yet! Thank you, Patti!
#pattismith #justkids #pattismithjustkids
2. How to Grow Up by Michelle Tea
Michelle Tea has a distinct style and hilarious perspective on her life thus far and all the changes she has made to become who she. I enjoyed every page of this book and took it everywhere I went. On a day I was feeling especially alone visiting the conservative neighborhood my parents live in, the cover inspired a lovely queer couple to stop and talk to me saying they needed this book with a sarcastic yet knowing glance! And this is so what would happen when you are reading a Michelle Tea book. She inspires inclusivity, queer community building, celebration, and self love! And becasue of that, I got to share one of my favorite things about her; her part in the creation of Drag Queen Story Hour at libraries everywhere! The couple loved it! Michelle reminds us that the world needs all of our stories and to be brave and tell them today! Thanks Michelle!
#michelletea #howtogrowup #michelleteahowtogrowup
3. Drawing Blood by Molly Crabapple
If you are craving travel without even leaving your home, this is the book for you. I was magically transported through Molly's colorful descriptions and details. And did I mention this book has pictures! Molly draws gorgeous illustrations and they are paired throughout the text in the most intreging ways. Go pick up this book at your local bookstore and share it with others. Molly's life is courageous and kind and it will have you making friends with your neighbors, going to protests together, and making your own advocacy art through her inspiration! You are one person but you can make a major difference in your own way and that is powerful. Thank you, Molly!
#mollycrabapple #drawingblood #mollycrabappledrawingblood
4. Wildflower by Drew Barrymore
Wildflower is a collection of beautiful personal essays. I've been a life-long fan of Drew's work and this book is no exception. I bought the audiobook in addition to the hardcover at her book signing and am enamored by the writing she put together in this compilation! It has everything you want in a book; hilarity, sweetness, adventure, and heart. I even found out we have a soul connection in both being obsessed with Lake Winnipesauke! I spent nine life-changing summers on that lake at camp, some of which were the same years in the 90's she did. In another wonderfully watery story, Drew dives off the deck of a cruise ship into the open ocean and it's a must read! All of the essays speak to growth she has experienced in her life and I am so grateful she chose to share them so that we may be inspired to engage in similar ambitious pursuits. Thanks Drew!
#drewbarrymore #wildflower #drewbarrymorewildflower
5. Waking the Witch by Pam Grossman
Pam's thoughtful memoir is wonderfully written and in addition to giving you a glimpse into the history of the archetype of the witch, it connected some dots for me. Pam's podcast, The Witch Wave, helped inspire a feminist roadtrip I took in 2019, the same year the book came out. I made my way to the home of Matilda Joslyn Gage, an abolitionist and stop on the Underground Railroad in Fayetteville, NY. Her nephew, L. Frank Baum wrote Wizard of Oz and she is thought to have been an inspiration for the character of Glinda the Good Witch! Waking the Witch is a magical read and I enjoyed the parts of Pam's story that were set in suburban New Jersey since this is also where i hail from. Hearing about her baby witch visits to the mall and later exploration of New York City transported me back to similarly formative times in my own life. Thank you, Pam!
#pamgrossman #wakingthewitch #pamgrossmanwakingthewitch
1 note
·
View note
Text
The Same Story
Sequel to The Different Story
It’s August, and I’m sitting in a hotel lobby in California, thinking about who I am and what I want to become in the next year. Somewhere distant, a forest died when the rain never came, and the air outside is thick with smoke and ash. The future seems just as hazy and uncertain. I’ve felt like I’ve been in stasis. For the last few years, everyone has had to be more reclusive, and nothing has really changed in my life as a result.
There’s a catharsis in repetition; the first time that you are forced to confront life’s undesired moments, there are questions of uncertainty (Will you ever get to do the things you want to do? Can you ever have what you want? Is this the way that you must always live your life now?), but you get used to writing the same story, living as if things will be different. No part of you really knows how it ends.
I’m returning to New York City soon, where I will be far from the smoke and ash, and things will be different.
*
It’s September, and you message me from out of the blue to tell me that you will be moving to New York City. It’s been years since we last saw each other, years since we last spoke with each other, and years since we last danced.
I still remember what that was like before it all came grinding to a halt: infrequent moments of connection between the separate lives we lived. You were the first person to ever ask me to dance at a social, and I’ve been unafraid to do what feels right at social dances ever since. Another time, we earned third place in mixed-proficiency cha-cha. We weren’t close, so I didn’t say goodbye when I returned to New York before the pandemic. I guess I didn’t need to.
We talk about the prospects of what dance will be like in New York when everything reopens–this world is entirely different from the one we were used to, with its drama and politics. I have the connections that come with living in the city where all of it happens–growing up with people who have since gone into that world, but I feel more like a spectator than a participant. I can’t see it, but I can sense the trepidation that you have moving into a new part of your life, potentially stepping into this kind of world, and I share what information I can to help you find peace.
You send me a picture of yourself with my old dance partner, one of my best friends. Though she lives in a different city, I still regularly keep in touch with her. I marvel at the fact that fate has brought us all back together in a different world than the one we first met in. In many ways, we are living the same lives we used to.
I send you a list of parks and museums in New York and bid you good night. We joke about sticking to reasonable sleep schedules and promise to explore New York together.
*
It’s October, and our first planned outing is to Chelsea Market. We have your favorite for dinner, Thai food. Afterward, we walk over to the High Line and stroll across the meandering elevated tracks after dusk.
We stop to sit by an overlook of Ninth Avenue, talking about everything and nothing. I think about how fleeting the details of these moments are to memory. Having been to this very place many times before, I haven’t really thought about what those moments were like. Then again, I’ve rarely been here with anyone else. Below us, the drivers are in a hurry to reach their next destination, but we’re up here enjoying being present, in no hurry to move on to the next big thing.
Somehow, we end up on the topic of the names our parents gave us. I write my name out for you on a note in my phone.
“What does it mean?” you ask.
“To proclaim honesty or integrity,” I reply.
You then tell me your name and marvel at how I write it out in one try on the same note.
“What does your name mean?” I ask, although I already know just from reading it.
“The scent of forest rain,” you tell me.
We decide to continue our trek northward. We pass by another mile of city skyline and the various art installations of the park. I tell you about the different parts that I have seen in past iterations of the park, about how I have seen it back in the days when it was coming together piecewise to become the attraction that it is today and that we should come back during the daytime for a completely different view. From your vantage point above, you cheekily reach down and tap the top of my head.
I finally bring up a question that has been weighing on me all night: “Is this a date?”
You pause for a moment, “I don’t think so.”
I let out the breath I’ve been holding in, “Good. I didn’t think this was one, and I think both people should agree for it to be one. The whole notion of dating as getting to know a stranger before you pursue a relationship with them is so off-putting.”
You agree, “I would like to get to know someone first before I consider starting a relationship with them. I don’t believe in trying to make things work out with someone I barely know.”
A park ranger tells us that the High Line is closing. I offer to walk you back home and you accept—it’s one more way that I can ensure that there will be peace for you in New York.
*
It’s November, and we’re having a video call in the middle of the night. It’s been a month since you moved to New York, and things haven’t gone the way you’ve wanted. I can see the held-back tears of frustration as you wrestle with the notion that life has not been all that you have hoped for. I tell you not to bottle things up, as they will inevitably come back to collect their due. It’s been two months, and although you’ve taken up dance practice again, it’s been impossible to find a partner for competition. You’ve had recommendations and practice sessions, but nothing further. Before we sign off for the night, I tell you that things will be okay and that you can call me anytime you need to talk.
We continue our conversation throughout the month, with new topics trickling in. One day, you ask me about dating life.
“You have plenty of time,” you tell me.
“Time isn’t the issue,” I respond, “I stand by the principle that I’m not going to interfere in someone’s pursuit of happiness. Between that and just how few people in my life are actually people I could date, things don’t work out.”
“What are you looking for in a partner?” you ask.
“I really don’t need anything from people. That dynamic holds true in the other direction for me as well. I want someone who doesn’t need me but wants me to be around and wants me to be with them. Beyond that, having shared values and being a dancer will probably cut out a lot of the drama.”
I leave off there. There is an entire history of why I look for the things I do, but that is a different story for another time.
*
It’s December, and you convince me to start going to dance lessons again. I had all but stopped years ago, when it became clear that I would never be able to achieve what I had wanted to years ago, but I decide to humor you and accompany you to a group Latin lesson. I revive my practice of taking notes, this time more meticulously, and we exchange them afterward.
We also make plans to go to a holiday dance party, a large one that essentially signifies the reopening of social dance in New York. We dance the night away like we did all those years ago. As we’re leaving, you playfully reach up and tap the top of my head.
We bump into an acquaintance, someone you’ve been practicing with often. On the long walk to the train station, we talk about the lives that competitive ballroom dancers live in New York.
“If things ever get too overwhelming, I can always hold him off while you make a run for it,” I say to you in jest.
“Yeah, yeah. Nobody is going to touch your girl,” he responds dismissively.
As we continue toward the station, you don’t correct him. I wonder if you really do consider yourself mine, and if you consider me yours. I suppose that we will have to have that conversation at some point.
On the escalator ride down into the train station, I get my revenge: I rest my arm on the top of your head. You’re on the step below, and you no longer have the reach to get me back.
*
It’s January, and you’ve come back from a vacation trip to Portugal. You bring me a bookmark as a souvenir. On it, you write your well-wishes to me for the new year: “I hope that the new year brings you success in all that you put your mind and energy towards, much inspiration, making new adventures, incredible and inspiring people in your life, and much laughter, joy, and fulfillment!” I keep it in the notebook that I use to record dance notes from our weekly group lessons. In it, I’ve written down your notes and mine.
After one such group lesson, as we’re walking up your street, you ask me what my intentions are with you.
“I feel like I’ve been leading you on, and I don’t want you to get hurt,” you tell me.
“I haven’t asked anything of you,” I reply, “I just care that you’re safe and that you’re happy.”
*
It’s February, and we go out to Beauty and Essex for drinks with a friend from our group dance lessons. We order some drinks and an assortment of desserts that come in a miniature Ferris wheel. The pattern of lights follows the spokes, lining up no matter how you look at them.
We’re partway through the desserts when our friend asks you, point blank: “What do you look for in a partner?”
You respond without hesitation, “I want someone who is passionate about doing good or in pursuit of a specific cause, someone who is unwavering on their values, someone who can do a lot of things and is able to be both logical and artistic. Obviously, they should also be caring and supportive, but they also should be able to have their own life and their own goals to work toward. The problem is that historically, all the guys I’ve liked haven’t been interested in me.”
I don’t really remember the rest of the conversation. As we’re finishing our food and drink, I keep thinking about how we are similar people, and we look for the same things. I wonder if you were thinking about me or maybe even describing me when you answered that question.
It’s late when we depart. It’s become routine at this point for me to take you home when it gets this late. On the train, you ask me if you can invite our friends and put together a birthday celebration for me because you value being able to make the people that you care about happy. I tell you that I would prefer not to do so. My birthday and the reasons I don’t celebrate it are an atypical story, and if you had asked to privately celebrate it, I would have obliged you. I just don’t celebrate it anymore, but I make sure that I remember to do so for everyone I am close to. In fact, I already have custom-made mugs ready for your birthday. You fall asleep next to me, and I can’t help but think that I’ve come to be seen as an extension of yourself.
I wake you up when it’s time to get off. It’s still a twenty-minute walk until we reach your apartment. You ask me how I manage to stay awake despite the late hour.
“When necessary, I keep myself going until I see things through,” I reply.
As we walk the remaining distance to your place, you burst into an impromptu round of singing I Want It That Way by the Backstreet Boys. I join in for a bit, but all I can think about is how angelic you sound.
*
It’s March, and we still send each other notes from group dance class weekly. We talk about practicing solo, and how much we can possibly improve without a partner. You tell me about being able to have a practice session with our friends, both past and present, and seeing how much progress they have made.
On one of our late trips home, you ask me for space so you can get closer to the people you are interested in.
*
It’s April, and I’m holding you as we’re sitting on a park bench in the middle of the night. You tell me that for months, you’ve tried to make progress in the parts of your life we talked about back in November. Although you found a dance partner, the resultant pressure and stress made it impossible for you to do other things with your life, and even though you had the results that you wanted, it wasn’t the life that you wanted to live. Although you’ve went on dates with the people you were interested in, you feel that you either didn’t make any progress toward building a relationship, or that you screwed things up, and that there wouldn’t be any chances to try again. You tell me about what life was like before things opened up again and what life was like when you were much younger. All the things bottled up come pouring out. Above all else, you feel that you have been in a constant state of turmoil and are desperately searching for peace.
I think about how much we share the same story in the disparate paths that have led us to this point. It’s this alignment of who we were and who we are that convinces me that I should hold onto the role that I occupy, and to make good on my promises to you. In our messages, I add one more to the list: I will be there for you when things get bad. I’m not doing it out of a sense of obligation or in expectation of something in return. I’m not making a tough decision to support you when it feels like everything sucks, or even when one thing sucks. I want to be that person. I can’t fight your battles for you, but I can make sure that you won’t be alone when you do so.
*
It’s May, and I’m reminiscing about how we promised to explore New York together, how fleeting details remain in my mind as we share the meanings of our names, how we came to embrace the late night as our shared time, how we danced some of those nights away, how we share the desire for the other to find what they want, how we knew and tried to be what the other wants, how we tried to help each other improve, and how I held you in your turmoil. I wonder if you ever think of these things. Mostly, I just wonder if you do these things with him.
We haven’t had any communication since April. I see the events that you attend, the pictures that you’re tagged in from ballroom competitions and the fulfillment of having a year of bonding with your team. I see you celebrating friendships with the friends you knew before me, and I see you meeting with the friends who came after me. I see you slipping away into the world that everyone else has gone, the one where I am merely a spectator, and not a participant, and I already know what happens next. I have shown you that you are the one who has been with me all this time, and there may never be another to occupy that space. I’ve never asked you to stay; whether I ask them to stay or not, people have always left anyway. I can only wait for a message, any message, from myself to know what comes next. Back in December, we traded names in our private conversations, and they’ve been set that way ever since.
There’s a catharsis in repetition, knowing that when I confront life’s undesired moments, I finally have answers to the uncertainties: I will never get to do the things I want to do; I will never have what I want; this is the way I must always live my life. I suppose I will get used to living the same story, writing as if things will be different. I wish it wasn’t so, but some part of me has always known how it ends.
Outside, smoke and ash have obscured my view of the city skyline. Somewhere distant, a forest died when the rain never came, and I won’t know if it ever grows back.
I can’t see it, but I know that you’ve found your peace.
*
It’s June. It’s just June.
1 note
·
View note
Photo
Quinn XCII Shares His M3F Festival Playlist
At the end of January, Detroit's own Quinn XCII released his highly anticipated fifth studio album, The People's Champ. It seems like the pop-leaning genre-bender is running up a never-ending incline, collaborating with the likes of Big Sean and Chelsea Cutler, embarking on a North American tour in May with A R I Z O N A and Julia Wolf and becoming a festival staple across the country. Quinn also happens to be one of the headliners of Phoenix, Arizona festival mainstay M3F. Since its inception, charity has been at the core of the festival. Aside from providing entertainment with some of music's largest acts throughout its history from Kaytranada to ODESZA, the festival donates 100% of its proceeds, making it one of the most beloved non-profit festivals that takes advantage of the booming live music market for good. The festival has also announced its new M3F Fund, opening up funding to the public by offering an open application for other nonprofits or 501(c)(3) organizations, prioritizing funding related to community, education, arts and environment. This year's lineup features no shortage of heavy hitters. Alongside Quinn, Grammy-nominated vocalist Maggie Rogers, acclaimed producer Jamie xx, Compton house pioneer Channel Tres, Toro y Moi, Polo & Pan, Neil Frances and more will take the stage in beautiful Phoenix, Arizona from March 3 to 4. In anticipation of the exciting weekend, which PAPER will be gleefully participating in, Quinn has curated a special playlist that features a mix of old favorites and some hidden gems from fellow M3F performers. You can find out more information on the festival here. Keep scrolling to find some new music to take with you into the weekend.Novo Amor - "Haven"I recently heard this for the first time on tour in my hotel room in Australia. I nearly teared up from its simplicity. Such an easy listen!Chiiild - "Weightless"This one makes me feel something I can’t describe. It took two seconds of the intro to get me hooked. My friend Peter showed me this song — thanks, Peter.St. Paul & The Broken Bones - "Love Letter From A Red Roof Inn"I think this might be my favorite song on the playlist, such descriptive songwriting.Norah Jones - "Sunrise"Norah Jones has been an artist I’ve admired for years and I would love to work with her someday.Mulatu Astatke - "Tezeta (Nostalgia)"I found this song on TikTok. Someone suggested listening to Ethiopian funk music so I gave it a try and fell in love with this record.Mac Miller - "Wings"Mac Miller was one of my first concerts ever. I look up to him so much even after his passing. The way he progressed as a musician is something I strive to achieve everyday. The entire Swimming album got me out of a very lonely time on tour. Jim-E Stack feat. Bon Iver - "Jeanie"This one is bouncy and “aquatic” sounding (that’s the only way I can describe it lol). It always brings a smile to my face!Jack Johnson - "Posters"I think Jack is one of my favorite artists. I grew up listening to his music but “Posters” always remains the one song I come back to when I need a friendly musical hug.Allen Stone feat. Alessia Cara - "Bed I Made"The combination of Allen and Alessia’s voices on this song is immaculate. It has such a warm, comforting vibe. I love both of these artists so much.Leon Bridges - "Sho Nuff"I’ll listen to this when I need a pick me up on the road and to feel like I’m cool again lol. Leon Bridges never disappoints.You can view and listen to the completed playlist, curated by Quinn XCII, below.Photo courtesy of Sam Dameshek
https://www.papermag.com/quinn-xcii-m3f-2659480865.html
0 notes
Text
Part of the family- Mason mount 🤍
Summary- After chelsea's devastating lost vs real madrid, you try your best to turn a sour memory sweet... what a better way to do so than a game of mario kart!
Prompts- “Just marry me already...” “Fuck you!” “When- “ “My mother adores you...”
Being a WAG came with some pros and cons! The pros were that you got to travel across the world to see the love of your life live their dreams, become legends of a sport that people admired in every country across the globe... however with every great success came the low days... and those days were a struggle for everyone involved... for example now...
“Do you think they can still do it?” You whispered to Lewis next to you, his body language mirroring yours as you all anxiously huddled together as the extra time minutes ticked away. It was clear to say that no Chelsea fan could have predicted the situation their team was currently in, having come from 2 goals down to being in the near distance of yet another champion’s league semi-final! Your heart melted with both nerves and pride as you watched your out-of-breath boyfriend work his arse off for the team he had supported since he was a young boy...
“I hope so... God forbid they lose after this fight...” Lewis sighed, also in awe of his team’s battle... no matter what happened in the next 25 minutes you all would be so proud of your team...
As the ball swung in the back of the net, you knew that any hopes of a repeat of last year flooded away... it was a hard one to swallow for you all, but you knew that you had to be strong for Mason...
“Here he is...!” Debbie smiled as her son walked through the hotel door, already having her arms open for him to go in “My little superstar...”
“I’m a disappointment that’s what...” He sighed, throwing himself next to you on the couch “Couldn’t even score a freaking sitter...”
“Excuse me Mr...” You gasped, flicking his ear playfully making him roll his eyes “Enough of that bull please!... instead... how about you get beating for the second time tonight, but this time with a game of Mario kart...” Chucking the switch remote at him, he raised his eyebrows in confusion as his family laughed at the two of him.
“You want to play Mario kart at 11:30 at night??” Mason questioned, eyes following you as you set up the game, passing Lewis and his mother a remote as well “Seriously... normal girlfriends would be giving me a cuddle right now... not picking if she would rather be a dinosaur or a mushroom??”
“I thought you would know by now baby, I’m anything but normal...” You giggled, planting a kiss on his cheek “But... we can still cuddle... just while I’m whooping your arse plumber’s arse... so pick a god damn character, Mason!”
Mason couldn’t help but laugh at your wild proposal, pulling you onto his lap as you all continued to stay up playing grand Prix after Grand Prix... He knew you all too well to know you wanted to get his mind off things... & although it was hard to do so at times like this, you made the sting a little less painful!
“Right, I think it’s time we go back to our rooms, eh?” Debbie laughed as her character once again finished last “We will see you two in the morning yeah?”
“Of course, you will!” You smiled, hugging her as you walked them both to the door, leaving a moody mason on the couch as he sulked about coming 2nd again “That’s if we don’t murder each other by then!”
“Thank you, sweetheart...” Debbie smiled, as you gave her a puzzled look “For what?”
“Making my little boy so happy...” Your heart melted like snow at her words, pulling her in for another hug as you smiled up to Lewis who was just nodding along to his mother’s claims
“I’m only doing what he does to me...”
“My mother adores you...” Mason smirked as you joined him back on the couch, his arm naturally wrapping around your shoulder “probably more than me...!” Sticking your tongue at him you lean into his arms, ruffling his long locks “Of course she does... I mean who wouldn’t!”
“Don’t be a too cocky baby... your not an official mount just yet?”
“Yet?” You smirked, cocking your head to the sound “You thinking of marrying me, Mason Tony Mount...!” Your reply was only supposed to be a joke but seeing the look on his face, told you that he didn’t take your remark as humous at all...
“Oh, all the time...” He smiled, kissing your temple repeatedly “You in a white gown in front of all our friends and family... our matching rings on our hands... the amazing night we would have when all our guests leave...” His hands graced the back of your jersey as he pretended to tear it away “Where I get to take that pretty little dress off your body-“
“Mason- Fuck you!” You laughed, knowing full when he was trying to get you all wild up!
“When-!” He flinched as you jabbed his side, obviously not being impressed with his dirty remark! “Just marry me already...” Mason whispered playfully down your ear, tightening his hold on your waist. Your head leaned back in laughter “Oh calm it, big boy... you have to get down on your knee first...”
“What like this?....” Mason smirked, getting off the couch as he sunk to his knees, parting your legs open. “Stop it-!” You laughed, grabbing him up by his hair so he was back in your arms “You know what I meant!”
“Of course I did princess” he smiled, pecking your lips gently as he thanked his lucky stars for your existence “& I can’t wait to marry you...!” Leaning in for another kiss, you closed your eyes waiting for yet another one of his sweet kisses...
But in pure Mason style, he caught you off guard, pressing the play button on the remote as his character soars past yours “But first I think its time I beat your arse princess peach!”
#mason mount#mason mount imagine#mason mount blurb#mason mount one shot#mason mount x reader#chelsea blurb#chelsea#mason mount blurbs#mason mount imagines
664 notes
·
View notes
Note
If your doing requests . Could you do one where y/n goes on holiday with her friends and some of the Chelsea squad bc she is friends with them . Well all but mason . So they all go clubbing and mason is teasing y/n so she pays her attention to a different guy and mason gets pissed so he drags her to the hotel room and they do it on the balcony
Heeey! Thank you for requesting this! I absolutely loved writing it and I really hope you’re gonna love reading it!🤍
"I don't share."
Mason Mount x Y/N
Summary: Mason is always doing his absolute best to try and wind you up, succeeding most of the times. But what if you who tease him back?
Warnings: SMUT.
gif credits to @aboutlali
Going clubbing with your friends during the summer holidays was easily one of your favorite things to do. Especially when your friend group was complete, meaning you had your Chelsea boys with you. Summer break was your favorite part of the year because of that, even if that meant that you had to spend your time with Mason too.
It wasn’t that you didn’t like him, in all honesty you found him incredibly attractive, but you really couldn’t stand him and his cocky attitude. He was the biggest tease you’ve ever known, always trying to wind you up with every word he said. And tonight was no different because as soon as you left your hotel room to make your way to the hall, where you had to meet with the others, you found Mason standing with his back leaning on the wall opposite your door.
“I’d say it was about time you came out of that room, but I guess my wait was worth it.” he said, biting his lower lip afterwards.
“What do you want Mount?” you said crossing your arms on your chest, over your little black dress that was leaving little to Mason’s imagination, “Shouldn’t you be in the hall waiting with the others?”
“I could ask you the same question Y/N…” he said as he pushed himself off the wall and walked closer to you, “But I’ll just say that you look beautiful tonight.” Mason said, moving a strand of hair behind your ear.
“You’re such a tease.” you rolled your eyes at him, pushing him away as you walked down the corridor, leaving Mason there with a smirk on his face.
“I know you love when I tease you!” he said as he walked up to you and gently grabbed you by your arm, “Just admit it already…”
“I’ll never admit it. ‘Cause that would be a lie, and I don’t lie.” you raised your head to look him in the eyes, before you felt both of his hands running up and down your arms with the lightest touch ever.
“Oh little one… you know I love a challenge.” he lowered his voice, just like he lowered his face as his lips grazed yours.
The breath got stuck in your throat at his bold move. You knew he loved to tease you, probably because you knew how to play with him, but he never came so close to kissing you, never. And you should have known better; it was just another step in his stupid plan to make you surrender to him, and you knew that as soon as you saw him smirking while he backed away from you.
After you entered the club you and the girls immediately hit the dance floor; with your drink in your hands you were having the time of your lives as you swayed your hips from side to side as you danced to the rhythm of the music. Luckily for you, your friends were keeping your head off Mason; they didn’t know what happened earlier, right in front of your hotel room door, but Mason’s words and his actions were tormenting you.
He was tormenting you. He started with never keeping his eyes off you, looking at you over the rim of his glass while he was drinking; he then moved to the dance floor with the other boys, attempting some dance moves that guaranteed them the attentions from some other girls that were dancing in the club. That’s when he took his plan to the next level by starting to dance with one of them. You wouldn’t have had a problem if they were simply dancing, but the fact that he was keeping her close to his body with his hands on her hips was driving you wild. Especially since he was doing it while he never averted his eyes from you once again. He knew he was making you mad, jealous even, and he smirked as you locked eyes with him. But he didn’t anticipate your next move.
His eyes were glued to your naked back and your swaying hips, as he watched you walk to the bar. He smiled knowing that you went there probably to order another drink to let loose, he thought he had you where he wanted you, but he was so wrong. He watched as you sat on the bar stool right next to Ruben, one of the Chelsea players with which you bonded the most, and part of your group of friends too of course.
Mason felt his blood boil as he watched Ruben order your drinks while you smiled at something funny he must have said; you clinked your glass with his, and moved the stool to sit closer to him as the two of you tried to talk over the loud music: the way your hand rested on his thigh, the way you were talking in his ear, the way Ruben’s head was leaning towards you as you spoke and how he laughed at what you told him, made jealousy bubble up inside Mason’s chest.
You knew Ruben was a good friend of yours, and you knew he would always back you up for some payback towards Mason, as you often confided with him about how he made you feel when he acted like that. That’s why you went to him to take your revenge on Mason. And by the look on the younger midfielder’s face your revenge plan was working.
“I suggest you finish your drink and fast, ‘cause Jealous Mount is coming our way,” Chelsea’s number 12 murmured in your ear as he watched Mason approach the two of you, “and let me tell you he does look pretty wound up…” he continued.
“Well looks like our plan worked, didn’t it??” you said winking at him, “We should definitely toast to the great actors we both are!”
“I don’t think we’ll have the time for that Y/N…” he coughed before his eyes settled on someone behind you. He was standing right behind you, you could feel it, as you felt the strong tension tying you up to him as it always happened when the two of you were close.
“Hey Mase,” Ruben grinned at Mason, as the two of them greeted each other, “wanna grab a drink with us??”
“Uhm I’m here just to ask you if I could steal Y/N for a second, if you don’t mind of course…” Mason simply said, with his voice sounding expressionless.
“Oh of course, go ahead mate…” Ruben nodded his head at his friend, “We have the whole week to enjoy some more drinks don’t we Y/N?” he added winking at you, and making your eyes widen. This wasn’t planned and you feared Mason was about to burst judging by the low growl you heard coming from him.
“Oh yeah I guess so!” you awkwardly smiled, almost choking on the last sip of your drink, “Thank you Ruben, see you around!”
As soon as you stood from your seat, Mason put his hand on the small of your back, directly on your skin, as he guided you outside of the club. He took you by your hand and started walking fast, as he dragged you towards your hotel, that luckily for you was just down the road.
“Mason!” you called to try and stop him, but to no avail, “Mason slow down! I can’t walk this fast on these heels!” you continued as you struggled to match his pace in those shoes you were wearing.
He turned around at your words and stopped in his tracks thankfully, but you didn’t know what was going on in his mind as his next move completely took you by surprise. You squealed as he left your hand and took you in his arms, holding you tightly against his chest with one of his arms around your ribcage and the other under your legs.
“Mason what the hell is wrong with you??” you asked him as you were surprised by his behavior; you knew you were the one who provoked him, but you didn’t expect this reaction from him. And being this close to him was not good for you: you could see every little detail, every little freckle and mole that adorned his face; you could see how good he looked with that beard that made his jaw look more defined than ever, the small wrinkles that formed around his eyes and the one that appeared in between his eyebrows now that he was frowning.
“Mason talk to me!” you shouted at him, now that you were standing right in front of your hotel room door once again.
“Open the door Y/N.” he growled, coming to stand dangerously close to you.
“Why should I? You’re-” you started speaking but he didn’t let you finish, as he pressed his lips on yours in a forceful kiss.
“What are you doing??” you murmured as he pulled back from your kiss.
“Open. That. Door.” he instructed once again, leaning his forehead against yours, “Please…”
You simply turned around and unlocked your door, opening it right before he pushed you inside and closed it with the heel of his shoe. As soon as the two of you were inside your hotel room, Mason’s lips were on yours again while his hands tangled in the hair at the nape of your neck. His body was pressed against your own, his muscly torso hunched down to kiss you and breathe you in like he wanted to do from a long time.
“Mason stop…” you mumbled with your lips brushing his, “Stop…”
“What? Why?” he asked breathlessly, “Why should I stop? Is it because of Ruben?” he asked with his jaw set.
“You’re so confusing Mason… first you play with me, and you tease me to no end…” you said, turning your back to him and walking to your balcony, “Now you’re kissing me! What is it that you want from me Mason?” you asked him as you leaned your hands on the railing, pressing your back to it and facing him.
Mason was still standing at the foot of your bed, with his arms at his sides and his hands balled up in fists. He looked at you with his dark brown eyes, while his lips were slightly parted from the kiss you two just shared.
“I want you. I want you Y/N and this is driving me nuts!” he said as he walked to you, standing directly in front of you, “Seeing you with you with Ruben was driving me insane. I should be the one you touch and you laugh with, not him.”
“You’re cute when you’re jealous…” you mused.
“I’m not jealous! It’s just…you’re mine!” Mason put his hands on your cheeks and stroked the soft skin with his thumbs as he lowered his voice while he spoke.
“You just admitted that seeing me with Ruben drove you insane. It was you saying that, not me …” you smirked, biting your lip afterwards.
“Better shut your pretty mouth baby girl,” he growled, “or else I might have to put it to work.”
“You’re not taking me to bed Mount.” you leaned your face further into his touch.
“Who said it had to be on the bed?” it was his turn to smirk now, as he trailed his fingers slowly from your naked thigh up to your waist, gripping it with his hand as he lowered his face to press feather light kisses on your bare neck and shoulder.
“Mason…” you breathed, putting your hand on his.
“Do you have any idea of how much I want you? You look gorgeous in this little black dress…” he said in between kisses.
“Mason I swear if this is another one of your teasing games-” you started but he cut you off once again by placing his forefinger on your lips.
“Does this look like a game to you?” he asked you as he put your hand over his bulge.
You bit your bottom lip, trying to suppress a moan at the feeling of his hard length under your hand. And this time, when he dived his face down to yours to kiss you, you didn’t stop him, no, you kissed him back.
Your kiss was pure electricity, they way your lips seemed to be melting together was making you feel like your body was on fire, like the blood that was running through your veins was lava. Mason’s touch was burning on your skin, goosebumps appearing on his touch’s wake. Your whole body was reacting to him, and you felt like you couldn’t control yourself anymore.
You circled his neck with your arms, tugging at the hair on the back of his head and eliciting a groan from him. Mason never stopped kissing you, he felt the urge to savor the moment, to savor you and your full lips. But the more he kissed you, the more he felt another urge surfacing forcefully, helped by you pressing your body further to his.
He couldn’t wait no more so he moved his lips from your mouth to your jaw, kissing and biting the soft skin he adored so much; he moved your hair from your neck, to gain better access to your skin, and while he did so he caught a glimpse of the club’s neon sign that was still visible from your balcony. He smirked against your skin, before he bit on your neck a little bit more harshly, as an idea was making its way in between his foggy thoughts.
“Mase…” you whimpered as you felt his teeth on your flesh, and shivered against him.
“What was that babygirl? Did you just moan my name?” Mason raised his head from your shoulder in a second, and looked at your lips while he caressed them with the pad of his thumb, “Fuck I wanna hear you moan my name again…” he growled while he circled your waist with his arm and lifted you up to make you wrap your legs around his hips.
“Are you really about to fuck me here??” you squealed as you felt him press your body against the wall opposite the railing, pushing his hips into yours in the meantime and making you feel lightheaded in the process.
“You told me I couldn’t take you to bed. I’m just complying doll…” he breathed against your lips, “Plus, there’s a perfect view of the club here… and I wanna make you cum right here, as you think that I’m the one who got to have you and not Ruben.”
“Are you sure you’re gonna have me?” you smirked, looking at him with a defying gaze.
“Watch me.” he said as he let go of one of your thighs to unbutton his jeans, and pushing them and his boxers down just enough to free his dick. He hissed as the warm air hit his sensitive skin, but he quickly distracted himself as he moved your panties to the side to lazily draw circles around your clit.
“Fuck Mason…” you moaned softly, at the feel of his fingers gently touching where you needed him the most.
“Yeah that’s my name baby,” he lowered his voice even more as he kissed and nibbled at your collarbones, “keep saying that… I wanna hear you… I wanna hear all the pretty sounds that you make…”
“Just fuck me already…” you breathed as you leaned your head back against the wall, already high on the sensations he was providing you.
“You’re pretty eager for someone who didn’t like my teasing babygirl…” he sniggered, “But you’re lucky I can’t wait to be inside you either.” he murmured before he inserted a finger inside you, relishing in the sound of your whimpers, “You’re so wet already doll, so wet and just for me…” he said as he raised his finger in front of your faces. He stared at you as he licked his finger clean, and that’s when you saw his pupils dilate completely as the taste of you made its way on his tongue. The same tongue was in your mouth seconds after, as he lowered his hand between your bodies once again before he pushed his dick into you.
“Oh my God Mason…” you moaned in his ear, pressing kisses on the side of his face as his was in the crook of your neck, “Fuck you feel so good…”
“You like that hm?” he groaned as he pounded into you faster and faster, feeling your walls flutter around him as he bit yet another time on that exact spot on your neck making you whine loudly, “Oh what a nice little sound, I think I’ll bite here again…”
“Please keep going I’m so close Mase…” you whimpered as you felt him tighten his hold on your hips, “You’re fucking me so so good…” you moaned in his shoulder while your fingers pulled harder on his hair.
“Do you wanna cum babygirl? Do you??” he whimpered as he felt his orgasm approaching, as he pushed into you as hard and fast as he could.
“Harder baby, please…” you breathed, biting his earlobe and eliciting a loud moan from him.
“Fuck, you’ll be the death of me doll…” he growled as he felt like he was about to burst his load into you just by hearing your words, “I don’t know how much I can resist babygirl I-”
“Please Mason I need you, I need to feel all of you please…” you begged him with hooded eyes, “I don’t want you to hold back….”
“You don’t know what you’re asking for…” he growled again.
“I just know I want you,” you moaned at a particular hard thrust of his hips, “Cum with me please, I know you want to…”
“Want me to fill you up baby?” he moaned in your mouth as he kissed you again, biting your lower lip after, “You’re such a dirty girl… my dirty girl…” he increased the pace of his hips and at the same time he lowered his hand to circle your clit once again, bringing you closer and closer to the edge.
“Oh my God Mason I’m gonna-” he didn’t even let you finish that his mouth was already on yours; he was swallowing every single one of your moans as he was keeping your body from crumbling under the pressure of your high that was making you feel like you were about to explode.
“Oh fuck baby! My babygirl,” he groaned as you felt him cum deep inside you, “Holy fuck…” he whispered once he was slowly coming down from his high, feeling you run your hands through his now sweaty hair.
“Your babygirl hm?” you panted, still breathless from the orgasm Mason gave you.
“Yeah mine.” he said seriously, “And I don’t share.”
#anon#anon request#anon ask#mason mount#mason mount request#mason mount imagine#mason mount imagines#mason mount one shot#mason mount one shots#mason mount fanfic#mason mount fanfics#mason mount x reader#mason mount x y/n#mason mount fluff#mason mount smut#football#football imagines#football one shots#football fanfics#football smut#footballer#footballer imagines#footballer one shots#footballer fanfics#footballer x reader#footballer x y/n#footballer smut#chelsea fc#england nt
784 notes
·
View notes
Last Seen Blogs
invisaligninocalafl
Invisalign in Ocala
flowriderinc
FlowRider, Inc.
brittyzombie
Unsuccessfully Human
connorzaft
Left Hand Left
tinecuileog
On the Raggedy Edge