I will never be able to explain the sheer feeling of comfort I get when I indulge so deeply in this absolutely heart wrenching tragic couple that I become so sad for them to the point where I’m like: ‘fuck it, that’s enough angst for a while’. And then I create them the happily-ever-after they never got to have, in my silly little head.

Tfym ‘___’ died??? No they didn’t!! They’re STILL ALIVE!!

In fact, right now the two of them are sitting in a the comfiest armchair by the toastiest fire and in the cosiest little oak cottage ever, snogging and reminiscing their past with smiles and happy tears like it was nothing but an adventure, a rollercoaster of a dream they’d woken up from. And now they’re happily married with matching rings on their fingers and a hell of a story to tell their future kids.

oh hey :) thanks for the kind comments and tags left under the last post!

it's so wild how body hair in art & media in general is seen as something "disgusting" or "weird", at first i thought that maybe the way i drew it made it look confusing but no way in hell you couldn't zoom in or just... think logically to know that is natural hair? some people are hairy like that! the way i draw it is more fluffy yes because i love floof and i dont give a shit tbh lol

i knew about the "issue" of jevil being fat so the body hair one threw me for a loop like wow. idk why jevil specifically gets this type of treatment, maybe other fat characters in utdr do too but i always see toriel, asgore, alphys, lancer, king, catti, sans who is a skeleton (and i really can't see him any other way, the fandom is doing a great job in keeping him chubby-like i love that) drawn with mostly correct proportions to in game/official art, yet jevil seems to get this mixed reaction. idk why i still see skinny jevil, or why some people insist his clown clothes are just "baggy". the jester is circular, look at his torso please for the love of god. sorry but i just want more fat rep as a fat person myself. i want jevil to remain short (his sprite is shorter than kris and slightly taller than spamton) and fat like he is in game!

drawing him helped me understand a lot about plus size anatomy, and honestly i couldn't be more happy about that because i'm also dealing a lot better with my body image issues and finally bringing more diversity to my art. him being hairy too is yet another thing that makes me happy as someone with pcos, and portraying him as a fat, hairy trans man as someone who is nonbinary and for months has been wanting to experiment with different pronouns/wondering how it would be like to transition is something really special. it's messy and silly but spamton and jevil are the ultimate comfort characters/ship to me, their stories and how they were written speak volumes and resonate with me a lot + headcanoning them as t4t has been beyond freeing and making me get a lot of gender euphoria/dysphoria/envy all at the same time lmfao what the fuck.

i'm honestly glad for these characters because they're what helped me articulate my recent feelings about my gender to my mother, who has grown a lot and is making an effort to understand all of this. the reaction i sometimes get from people who talk to me, come into my inbox or just pour their feelings out in the tags about how they love my portrayal of spamton and jevil's gender identity + their relationship and how important it is to them is so so cool. yeah :)

speaking of chest hair, here's how spamton looks without the shirt. the left side of his chest has a panel for his heart (a smaller version of neo's) and of course top surgery scars, a different type. he's also hairy! not that much since he's a puppet but he still has the addison floof, it's cute

rereading the last chapter of 'so mordor it is' for the first time in a hot minute and i just-

Eddie purses his lips, “I mean- Okay, yeah, that’s shitty or whatever. But I get it. I get why he’s doing it.”  “Because he’s a dick? Because he’s always been an asshole looking for a reason to pick on you? Like I said, it’s not excusable, Edd-”  “Because if I lost you how he lost Chrissy, I’d do far worse.”  Willow pauses with her mouth wide open, taking in just how deadly serious he looks at this moment. He’s not even cracking up in the slightest at her insults at the jock who had contributed to being a thorn in their side this past year, focusing on her and only her.  “No,” Willow says slowly, “You wouldn’t. You’re a good person with common sense.”  “Not when it comes to you,” Eddie rebuttals, “Not when it comes to you getting hurt. If you- If you had- If it had been your body found-” he chokes up, unable to continue the thought without taking a breath, “I’d also have a vendetta out for the prime suspect. Hell, I’d have it out for every possible suspect. Willow, if I lost you, I’d do far worse than some petty rallying against the town’s freak. I’d burn this town down for you.”

what the hell is wrong with me

You're telling me that Nureyev got to live an entire life with the person he loved, just for everything to be taken away from him in one swoop?

How do you even begin to love or trust another person after that? He told Juno, a detective who arrested him, his biggest secret after one day!

Also, I keep thinking about this line back from What Lies Beyond

Of course it's hard for you, Nureyev! I don't know how you can ever be okay after that! 😭

My journey with Cuno

First meeting him: oh this poor child, I wonder if I can help him

A few minutes in: actually fuck them kids

By the end of the game: Cuno do you want me to kill your father? If I kill your father, will you eat some vegetables? Cunoesse I have an apple for you. Do you need another jacket? A scarf? I would die for you both.

Cats and Lemonade

from @jegulus-microfic's prompt, swim (359 words)

i had to make today's extra cute and sweet because apparently beo's will be devastating and y'all deserve something to combat that <3. so have some baby jeggy! i'm picturing them being about 6 and 7 here!

“Reggie! You made it!” James stumbles across the grass to meet his friend by the fence. 

The Blacks and the Potters have long since lived next door to each other, but for reasons James can’t understand, the Blacks haven’t allowed their children to get anywhere near James. It makes him sad.

But one day, a little boy with curly raven coloured hair and a face spotted with freckles found his way through a hole in the fence, skinny as he was, and he and James became instant friends. James would spend every day with Reggie if he could. He never wants to be away from him. Unfortunately, Reggie’s parents are still strict and mean and the time they get to spend together is limited.

Luckily, it’s the summer right now, so neither of them have school to worry about, and Reggie’s parents are still busy with work. Today, Reggie’s snuck over to play in the pool with James and James has been excited about it all week. He got his mom to make them lemonade and waited with the cat for Reggie to arrive (Reggie loves cats, he told James himself).

Back to the present, Reggie smiles widely at James and immediately falls to the ground to play with the cat. James quickly snatches the cat away (a bit jealous of the attention he was getting) and brings Reggie over to his little set up. Reggie is overjoyed by the lemonade as apparently his mom doesn’t let him have sugary drinks, which just seems cruel to James, and the two of them splash and swim around in the pool all day. 

When they’re all tired out, they lie down on some towels and Reggie tells James all about the sky. James sits and listens, fascinated and relishes in all the time he can spend with his Reggie until he has to go back home again. James wishes he could just steal Reggie away and stay with him forever, but he supposes what they can do now is good enough if it’s all they can have. One day, Reggie will run away, and James knows they’ll never be apart again.

Once again battling the overwhelming urge to write self-insert fanfic/wish-fulfillment OC of myself to put into fanfic, just so I can hold my little blorbo close and give them to the love and care that they deserve

I am heartsick for Scary for when Willy turns around and snaps at her and puts her down the same way he did Ron cause thats how abusers work and that kiddo is already about to go through the ringer. I really hope she gets to learn what her step grandfather learned...

"You are enough. Just as you are."

I didn’t go to sculpture again……

So I finally got around to watching Leverage.... And I knew I was going to love them and here I am,,,, oh no I love them..... I already loved Elliot and I hadn't even WATCHED the show and now I am going to be sooo normal

Where can I apply to be their third?

Thank you for coming to my TED Talk.

Heartstopper s2 is not the therapy after watching Good Omens 2. Heartstopper s2 is round two of needing therapy. I’m only one episode in and it already has me in tears.

thinkin of sussy tonight. i think we could figure out a way to cuddle. ik hes 10ft but we'd figure it out im sure

Izumi Rei you literal fucking angel

what's your opinion on regulus/lily? i love them, but i honestly don't like the fics because they often make snape not a bad person, but i digress. i tend to read the fanfic because if you don't get pro-snape things, you don't get anything at all with that ship.

(or, what about, for fun, regulus/lily/evan)

i think regulus/lily can be very cool, AS LONG AS it doesn't turn into 'dramione but make it marauders.' (this is actually a caveat i have with a lot of marauders' era ships - that the potential is there, but the dynamic is often just like it is in a popular golden trio era ship. i'm down for a LOT of ships as long as the characters and dynamics don't feel recycled)

i think if i were to write a regulus/lily fic, it would probably be grounded in the war, because i feel like they need very high stakes to really push them together (see ttdl LMAO) - unless they're in the same house or year or something like that where they naturally run across each other a lot

like (and this is just off the top of my head - if someone wants to take this premise and run with it, go ahead! i already have far too many wips afjlshgskdf), this would be my go-to:

due to various scheduling issues, regulus and lily are assigned to do prefect rounds together (a combination that would normally NEVER fly because they try not to put muggleborns and People With Close Personal Ties To Death Eaters on patrol together)

lily goes into it hackles up, in the direct wake of sirius's disownment, expecting the worst from regulus black

regulus goes into it mildly curious about this lily evans who he has only ever heard about in the context of a) snape or b) potter, but honestly he's preoccupied with Sirius Angst and Family Pressure Angst and lots of things like that

slow burn the fuck out of it. regulus will probably be the one who has to actually break the ice because just b/c lily is no longer expecting him to blow up at her for blood purity reasons it doesn't mean she expects him to be worth befriending

bond over being younger siblings with very complicated relationships with their older siblings

become close friends (and here you get the joys of the secret relationship trope before a romantic relationship even develops, because War and also Sirius)

(side note - much character work for sirius would be necessary to make sure he's not just Regulus's Shouty Dramatic Brother)

and then i don't know where it would go from there but i do really like the idea of them working together in the war. either as an 'they're on their own side' thing or as a 'infiltrated both sides, using them for their own agenda' thing. like let them have a safehouse that lily has stocked with hand grenades, that's my vision

regulus/lily/evan would be A HOT MESS (in a fun way afjslghskdjf i just mean i'm laughing thinking about it) - triple the complicated relationships with older siblings. evan 'flirting is my middle name' rosier vs regulus 'pine until i either have to confess my undying love or fake my death' black vs lily 'historically people have just fallen all over themselves to ask me out and i don't actually know how to demonstrate interest in someone' evans. lots of lighthearted bickering. lily introducing regulus and evan to modern muggle technological marvels (disco ball). they have 'study dates' which are actually just lily and regulus studying and evan being distracting. they have a black and white cat named oreo (evan thinks this is the most original cat name ever). regulus is tormented constantly by lily and evan attempting to invent new household charms whenever the mood strikes. he and oreo often retreat to the library (spare bedroom full of books and one (1) disco ball) for safety. lily has a secret diary in which she keeps track of Definitely Totally Very Real Muggle Inventions that regulus and evan don't know she lied about yet. they have GREAT photo albums

didn't like this TLOU episode but that's because I dont like when characters im rooting for die >:(