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ltleflrt · 4 years

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So I was having a conversation on Discord about omegaverse tonight, and my brain won’t shut up about it, because as usual I come up with my arguments after the discussion is over. I should have been asleep 3 hours ago, but it’s hot and I can’t unwind, so I’m going to stay up EVEN LATER while the a/c brings things down a few degrees, and I try to get these thoughts out of my head.

I was pro-omegaverse, and trying to explain why *I personally* like the genre, and why I think even with it’s problematic origins and frequently used elements, it’s still a cool genre. I was essentially having 2 discussions, but they were both using my answers to their questions, even though I was usually addressing them 1 at a time. That happens when you’re in a Discord chat, and I wasn’t @ing my answers to them, since we were all in the room together. And I think that cunfuddled the discussion and my thoughts. So here’s a breakdown.

Issue 1. Biological Essentialism is gross and rapey.

Answer: Yes, it is. But so what? Some people like pure rape-fantasy. Is it healthy? That can be argued either way, and it definitely depends on the person writing, or the person reading. People like gross and rapey stories to get their rocks off. Whether we like non-con or not, rape fics should be allowed to exist because some people like it. It doesn’t matter if I think their reasons are valid. As long as they’re not actively trying to harm someone, let people get down and dirty with their rapey fantasies.

Also, the whole biological imperative to mate isn’t that far off from Soulmate AUs. Truemates = Soulmates. Whether we like Soulmate AUs or not, are we also arguing that they shouldn’t exist because they’re problematic? No, we’re not. Soulmate AUs are romantic for a lot of people. Let people have their uncomplicated, fluffy, 1 Destined Love stories.

Something to keep in mind though, is that not all omegaverse fics use the true mate trope. And quite a lot of fics have characters with a lot more self control during their mating cycles than what you’d find in the short smutty one shots. It’s common for them to avoid each other during heats, and only share their mating cycle as an act of love, trust, and devotion. After they’ve been dating for a while. (I love it when the alpha brings over snacks and water for the omega, and immediately hightails it out of there once they get a whiff of their sexy love interest. “Take care of yourself, text me when you feel better, loveyoubye! *nyoooom*”)

Issue 2. It’s transphobic.

Answer: This one is harder to argue, because yeah. It can be. But so can non-omegaverse. Transphobia is, unfortunately, everywhere. Exploring human gender through non-human gendered beings isn’t a bad thing though. Cis people should be allowed to explore those things too. This is step 1 to fighting the Patriarchy. Questioning it. Someone may come out of the experience still cis, but they’re going to be more open minded to trans people. Not to mention, all the trans and enby folks who probably figured themselves out through the gender exploration to be found in omegaverse.

Now, if someone’s into omegaverse and they tell you they won’t read a story about a trans character? Red flag.

Personally, I like the gender exploration in omegaverse. Not just in the hormonal stuff, although I do kinda love the idea of seeing cis male characters suffer cramps once a month lol... but I like the stuff about social inequality that women have to go through mapped onto a male character.

I brought this up in the chat, and my use of the term “women’s issues” raised a terfy flag I think, which upset me and made it harder to make my point. Cuz if there’s one thing I’m not, it’s terfy. But I do see women’s issues as also trans issues. Trans Men are treated differently after they start to present as male. There’s a marked difference between their treatment as a woman pre-transition, and as a man afterwards. And they still have to be really careful about accidental pregnancy. I cannot fathom how awful the dysphoria would be for them if they get pregnant. Trans Women are treated horribly pre-transition if they give any hint of feminine interests. There’s a reason “girly” is an insult, and it’s because Toxic Masculinity Is The Worst. And then when they transition? Hooooboy, gods bless those ladies because Trans Women are treated worse than Cis Women on the social pyramid. And Enbies? Oh you sweet things, how the hell do you deal with the rest of us bastards?

When I say that I am interested in seeing the characters I like deal with women’s issues, I am talking about social inequality, not just periods and cramps (although that a little bit too, because I wish a cis man could just fucking UNDERSTAND why I need a goddamn nap okay? lol), but also sexual health rights, including birth control, including the right to choose whether or not to take hormones, the right to equal pay, the right to equal education. Feminism, for me, includes trans and enby folks at the table.

But anyway, the characters I like right now just happen to be men. I see Dean as a man. That could mean he’s a trans man too, because trans men are men, yo. Castiel I see either as a man or non-binary. So if I want to put them through “women’s issues”, I have to plunk them in a special universe for that. No one is writing Matriarchy AUs, so Omegaverse it is!

(Side note: If my OTP were f/f, I’d still like omegaverse. And I could see lots of interesting ways to use all those same tropes for 2 female presenting characters. So it has nothing to do with genitalia. Unless it’s smut. But I swing all the ways, so still not an issue for me lol)

(Side note part deux: I like to read trans stories too. They have unique things about them that cannot be found in stories about cis characters, even in omegaverse. And when I see Dean and Cas as men or enby, I’m not putting down people who like them gender flipped. I just see myself enjoying Trans Woman Claire dating Enby Kaia, more than I’d like to see Dean or Cas written as cis/trans-women.)

Issue 3. Internalized misogyny!

Answer: This is an argument used against women shipping m/m in general, and has nothing to do with omegaverse. It just so happens that omegaverse was created for m/m pairings. But there are TONS of reasons we ship more m/m than any other pairings, ranging from those are the most interesting characters presented to us, to--yes--internalized misogyny. But I’m tired of that one. Internalized misogyny is rampant, and telling women that their fantasies are problematic isn’t going to cure them. There’s better ways to go about it.

Omegaverse now covers m/f and f/f pairings as well, sooooo... yeah, this one just doesn’t hold water like it used to. We just need to yoink the media out of the hands of the cis-men who are mostly in charge, and make them give us more compelling women to ship.

Issue 4: That’s not how human bodies work.

Answer: They’re not human lol! Okay but real talk here. This issue actually sounds transphobic to me, because it strikes very close to the XX vs XY chromosomes argument. Omegaverse characters have intersex variations. Alpha females and Omega males can have both a penis and a vagina in some fics. It depends on how the author wants to write it, of course. I usually go with the (horrifying) cloaca for omega males, and the (hyena inspired) psueudo-penis for alpha females instead, but to each writer their own lol

But again... not human. Let wet buttholes be a thing, lube is expensive and sometimes the bottle gets tangled in the sheets, and you have to stop what you’re doing to find it and... anyway, convenience in fantasy sex is nice lol

In Conclusion:

Personally, I only like non-traditional omegaverse. The stuff that subverts the “problematic” tropes. I was asked what I liked about the genre, and when I explained, it devolved into discussion of the topics above. But I think what was forgotten in that discussion, was that I kept saying I don’t like the “problematic” things. I like flipping the tropes. Which I like in general, when I’m looking for things to read. I mean, how many Castiel Thinks He’s Straight fics are there? Not many! So I wrote one! Because flipping tropes is my jam!

I don’t like Soulmate AUs, but with the proper twist I can still enjoy it. I don’t like Highschool AUs, but I’ve read some that touched me so deeply I still think of them years later. There’s always someone subverting the tropes I don’t like and turning them into something I do like.

And yet even though I kept saying I liked the subversion of the genre, the discussion kept coming back around to the parts of omegaverse that I *don’t* like. I will still defend anyone’s right to like the parts of it that aren’t for me though, so I argued away XD

And? Sometimes I like the dark problematic stuff when I’m in the mood to get my rocks off. Don’t judge, you’re all a little weird in some way or another ;D

Anywho, now that I got this stuff off my chest, hopefully I can sleep. It has also cooled down by like 4 degrees, and I no longer feel like I’m going to melt in my sleep. Tomorrow is going to suck, because I have to get up in 5 hours. Yay!

#ltleramblings #i enjoy thinking about these things #i was enjoying the discord discussion #i just couldn't keep up with 2 people at once #especially 2 people who are much better at thinking on the fly than i am lol

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thewritewolf · 3 years

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Old Ways, New Age Chapter 4

A major akuma attack hits and Ladybug has to seek out heroes to wield the miraculous if they will have any hope of stopping them.

@marinettemarch

Enjoy!

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5

Read on Ao3

“As much as I hate to say it… the best place I can hide it is in my own room for now.” Ladybug sighed and looked at her partner with a serious expression on her face. “Do you think you can hold off the akuma long enough for me to take this back?”

Chat Noir was staring off into the distance, where the head of… something… was poking over the buildings. His tail swished behind him, low and lazy. He nodded.

“I’ll do my best to keep it distracted.” His eyes landed on her. “Hurry back though, okay?”

“I promise. Now get going, and I’ll meet up with you as soon as I can.”

With a grin, Chat Noir gave her a quick salute and leapt off the roof. A moment later, he soared back into view, propelled by his extending baton. She watched him go for a few seconds longer before taking out her yoyo and swinging away.

On the way back, her mind was racing. She had been banking on hunting down Namdak to keep the miracle box safe - but now she was going to be distracted by the akuma battle for who knows how long. Would he be bold enough to try again? If she hid it somewhere else in the city, would he be able to find it? Or would she end the battle only for it to have vanished?

The thought of some random civilian - or, even worse, an agent of Hawkmoth - finding the miracle box outside during the coming battle sent shivers down her spine. No, she’d tuck it in her room and hope that the same paranoia that made the Guardians so cautious would keep the box safe for tonight. At least then if it disappeared, she could be sure it hadn’t fallen into Hawkmoth’s hands.

She’d hidden it away the best that she could and was about to leave her room when she got a call on her yoyo. Lowering her hand from its throwing position, she backed into a corner before opening the yoyo to answer the call, ensuring that the view of her room was minimal.

“Something up, Chat?”

“Uhhh yeah I don’t think-” A wall of noise from an explosion nearby on his end drowned him out. “-and we’re gonna need some help on this.”

“Help?” Ladybug blinked down at his video image. “How much help?”

“Um…” The scene behind Chat was a blur thanks to his running and even her partner was a little hard to make it with how the screen was shaking. “How about two? Someone strong—” He cut himself off to duck and the wall behind him burst into rubble. “And maybe some insurance, too. Are there any healing miraculous?”

Ladybug cupped her chin and narrowed her eyes. “I’ll see what I can do. Can you keep it busy for a little while longer?”

Even in the middle of a fight, he took a second to flash her a grin. “For you? Anything.” A shadow fell over him and his grin evaporated. “Gotta go, LB!”

His screen went dark and she put the yoyo back on her side. Her mind racing, she pulled out the miracle box from its hiding spot and looked over the miraculous at her disposal.

This was the first time they’d had to call on new miraculous heroes since the Miracle Queen fiasco - everyone she’d already brought out was out of the running for now. At least with the miraculous they’d used before.

Someone strong… The physically strongest miraculous was Stompp, the Ox kwami. Hopefully that was what Chat meant. On the bright side, since she had never called on it before, she could give it to practically anyone she wanted.

As for insurance, well… she wasn’t aware of any healing abilities outside her Ladybug Cure, but the ability of the Snake miraculous, Second Chance, was a good runner up. Although that did mean that Luka and probably Adrien, too were out of the running.

Her eyes widened with realization. The two she had in mind might not be the perfect fit for the miraculous, but they would be the best fit she had. After checking her notes for her friends’ schedules, she hid the miracle box away as best she could and hoped that she could bring down this akuma in time.

-----------

Ladybug landed at the front door of a gym. Quips and puns could just barely be heard above the explosions and maniacal laughter of the akuma of the day, none of which was all that far away from where she was standing. Even more worrying was the occasional tremor that shook the city - was it a giant amok, or a tunneling one? Practically everyone with any sense left was long gone.

Which just left those who were too caught up in their own competition to worry about something as trivial as an akuma attack.

Upon entering the building, she peered into the various exercise rooms looking for her duo of potential heroes. Despite being inside, the sounds of battle still reached her, driving her to move faster in locating them. As much as she wanted to keep them separate for identity purposes, she had no idea if Chat would be able to hold on that long.

She breathed a sigh of relief when she opened the door to a basketball court to see the two of them locked in the middle of a game. One which only had a passing resemblance to basketball, judging by Alix’s rollerskates and the obstacles set up on the court.

Alix noticed her first, giving her a double take as she tried to dribble across the court.

“Ladybug?!”

The price for her inattention came immediately when she collided with Kim. Ladybug watched the basketball bounce forlornly past her and hit the wall. Clamping down on the last minute doubts she had about them, she walked over to the pile of athletes as they were trying to get to their feet.

“Woah!” A grin spread across Kim’s face. “Did you come to coach our match, Ladybug? Pipsqueak over here could definitely use some pointers.”

Finally getting her skates under her, Alix shot a glare at him. “You wanna try that again, airhead? Cuz the scoreboard sure as hell doesn’t agree with you.”

“Yeah, yeah.” Kim snorted and crossed his arms over his chest. “Not my fault you’ve got all those dirty tricks to get ahead.”

“You-!”

“Cut it out and listen to me!” Ladybug had enough of their bickering at school - she wasn’t about to tolerate it now. “There is a big fight going on and we need help. Who’s in?”

“Oo, oo, pick me!” Kim raised his hand and put the other on Alix’s head and shoved her back slightly. “I, uh… Let’s just say this isn’t my first lap around the pool.”

Kim gave an obvious and exaggerated wink to Ladybug, who could only pinch the bridge of her nose in exasperation.

Alix rolled her eyes. “She said she needs help, not someone that she’ll need to babysit. Besides,” Alix added with a knowing grin. “I’ve been hoping to hop into a fight for ages now. Know what I mean, LB?”

Ladybug put her hands together to cover her face, closed her eyes, and took a deep breath. When she felt a little more composed, she looked back at them.

“I’ve got two miraculous here - the fight is going that bad. Are you still interested?”

Alix and Kim looked at each other for a moment before nodding. Ladybug gave them each her usual speech and handed them the miraculous - the Snake for Alix and the Bull for Kim. Both seemed surprised at the specific miraculous they got, but took it in stride.

With two new heroes in tow, Ladybug rushed out of the gym and hoped that she would make it in time.

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As he examined the locking box trap that had captured his hand, Master Namdak took a moment to respect the chosen of Creation. Fire and boldness were likely pairs when dealing with those who wielded the miraculous, but deviousness and cleverness were a rare pearl.

Sadly for her, mere tricks were not sufficient to guard the miracle box - another reason why it needed to be returned to the order.

Tapping the box twice with his staff, the hinges flew open and the trap dropped to the ground, leaving the miracle box securely in his hand.

He leapt out of the room and stood on the rooftop. Deep in his bones, he knew that he needed to leave for Tibet soon. The journey was long and the return home would be equally as arduous. He stood still, quietly taking in the scenery. His eyes roved the horizon, taking in the sight of a city from two hundred years in the future.

Which was when he saw the villains that had been so helpful in acquiring the miracle box. They were locked in a desperate battle against the heroes of this city. Despite himself, Master Namdak was drawn closer to the fighting. Even setting aside his time spent removed from the world, it had been long decades since he had last seen the miraculous in action. Curiosity could not be ignored.

He watched from a rooftop as a team of four heroes battled against the puppets of the butterfly and peacock, saw the ebb and flow of the battle.

Master Namdak had long years of experience - he could see the clash of personalities apparent on the heroic team. By all rights, a lack of cohesion ought to have been enough to destroy them.

And yet... despite that, Tikki’s chosen held them firm. They followed her instructions without question, no matter how baffling they might seem. Her knowledge of the miraculous strengths was astounding as she used each power of her allies like a familiar tool in her armory. If circumstances were different, perhaps she could have been a Guardian as well. Perhaps even risen to the rank of Master, like himself.

But they fought a losing battle. Even with aid, Master Namdak knew that they were on the backfoot and edging closer and closer to defeat.

He turned to leave.

Long moments passed, but he could not take a step forward.

He looked over his shoulder at the heroes battling against evil, his heart torn between duty and compassion.

#Miraculous Ladybug #Ladybug #le chien kim #max kante #Chat Noir #Marinette March #ml fanfiction #my writing #Old Ways New Age

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bluedemon1995 · 3 years

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Stay True To Yourself!

I read a story about a girl whose boyfriend took her to a swingers party…but neglected to tell her! And of course, that story led me down a very strange rabbit hole until this popped in my head. Ummm, this one has a little bit of a more adult theme - so please read with caution! This is an alternate reality story- obv not canon.

Katie Holt sat in the car feeling a niggling sense of unease that she cannot dismiss as hard as she tries to shove it down. She tries to narrow down the cause, thinking and analyzing as is her nature. Is it because she hasn’t been dating Mark very long and he picked her up roughly an hour ago. In fact, if she was honest, this was probably the longest amount of time she’d actually spent in his actual company. Previously, it was mostly online chats then a couple of in person short lunch coffee dates. But they were maybe twenty minutes. Is it because they are going to a party and she typically does not enjoy parties? Or maybe it’s because he’s the only person she’d know from this party, and she hates being dependent on anyone. She’d much rather rely on herself.

Regardless of the cause, she tries to shake off the feelings and enjoy the moment. Live a little in the real world like Allura said as she was helping her getting ready. Actually, if she was honest, this was the second novel experience of the day since having a friend come over and help her get ready for a date was a first as well. Yesterday, when she absently mentioned that she could not go to the movies tonight because she was going to a Christmas party with Mark, Allura got so excited. She immediately made plans to go shopping and offered to come and help me get ready. She was honestly more excited than I was but it was nice to have someone care.

Which was nice because her mom and dad had a work Christmas party to go to and her brother was on a date himself. It was nice for Allura to come over and help her out. In spite of the make up, dress and dating tips, she had a good time. Allura was only a couple of actual years older than but in experience she was decades ahead of her!

This year, partly due to their project at work, she’s gotten closer to some of co-workers or team. It’s been a nice change since high school and college where she was mostly alone except for her family and their friends. She loved feeling like people got her sarcasm, her references well, just HER. It was nice to have people who made her stop working to eat lunch or heck, even remembered to check to see if she left work for the day. Slowly but surely her team had become her friends.

Which all leads her back to a few moments ago, when Mark parked and got out of the car, stopping at the hood to wait for her. He looks impatient but whatever, she needs to take a minute alone to get her self under control. Her nerves hit a high point but deciding this was as good as it gets, Pidge stands and walks to the him, impulsively reaching out and holding his hand. It was dark and snowy, she definitely did not want to fall on ice as they walked up! How embarrassing!

He seemed surprised by her hand but quickly pulled her close, “Hey so, this is a special party and I’d really appreciate it if you kept an open mind, think of it as an of it as an experiment.”

Pidge felt like a five alarm bell was suddenly going off at the conclusion of that sentence. FUCK! What was he talking about?!? Why would he say something like that now? It was akin to setting a bomb and saying, do not look at the timer.

While Pidge is having an internal panic attack they walk in-no knocking just walk straight in the door. She doesn’t see anything right off the bat that concerns her. There’s a table where keys were thrown, shoes piled in the front hall and music playing. It was a really nice house, set in one of the fancier subdivisions of the area. Pidge was trying to keep calm but she was annoyed that he’d state something like that as they were walking in the door! What about beforehand so she could of decided?!? And he really didn’t tell her anything, which is worse than knowing.

He takes his shoes off, she does the same. Hesitating, he turns and pulls her towards the kitchen. “Drink? What’s your poison?”

Pidge sighs, beer seems safe and not like she’s going to be drinking much of anything after that bomb he dropped walking in. “Beer is fine, I’d like light if they got it.”

He nods and goes towards the coolers lined up along the wall. Pidge does what she does best, fades into the background and observes the room carefully. The lights seem dim and she could see out the patio doors that more people are out there by the pool. She squints, maybe it’s the just the glare…but are those people naked?!?

Mark comes back at that time with a draft beer which means I won’t be taking a drink of it. Why wouldn’t he give me a bottle or can that I could open myself? I’m quiet and watch Mark take in the party. I wonder who he knows? Suddenly, I look at a pretty girl in a Mrs. Claus outfit who comes up to Mark. She smiles brightly, and proceeds to lock lips with Mark, wow. She’s actually impressive with her ability to wrap around him like a snake yet keep her hand with her drink still, not spilling a drop. I’m actually impressed! My eyes dart around the room, trying to gauge what the hell is going on here. Why would he bring me here if he already has girl???

Finally she breaks off and slides over to me, “Hi, Danni with an I, wanna make out?”

I blink, rapidly, “Um, no, I’m good, but, uh, thank you for the offer though.”

She smiles, “Okay! If you change your mind I’ll be around!”

She flounced away and I looked to Mark, quietly questioning, “Exactly what kind of Christmas party is this? Why am I even here?!?”

He chucked, “It’s a swingers party and you can’t come alone. You NEED to bring a date, you know for the numbers. C’mon, this will be fun.”

I look at him feeling myself turn red. “Wait a minute, I bought a fucking new outfit for this?!? I put goddamn makeup on! You fucking asshole! Look, I could give two shits about what you do, honestly, we aren’t involved like that but why involve me? Could you not find someone else to bring? For fuck’s sake!”

Mark stared at me, having the NERVE to arch a brow, “Cursing really? You know swearing is for people not intelligent enough to come up with a better word. Besides, don’t be a prude, look walk around and find someone you find interesting or hot. There are a lot of people here, like it’s not that hard.”

I close my eyes and as bad as I want to hit him, curse him out, I refrain. Oh, he will pay, just later when there aren’t about a hundred witnesses who can fill out a police report. I take a breath and walk away, back to the front door. I look at the keys, but they all look the same, how would I know which is which. I guess I could take them all but what if someone wants to leave. I step out to the front steps.

Honestly, this could not have happened on a worse night. I can’t call Matt, he’s finally on a date with his current dream girl and my parents at that work party. I close my eyes, take a breath to reign in my anxiety that is sky rocketing and first I try Allura. But, duh, she’s at the movies with Romelle and probably turned her phone off. Shit. My eyes fill with tears but I refuse to let them fall. I take a deep breath, trying Hunk instead another coworker. Straight to voicemail. Shit he might be sleeping.

I look at my contacts and realize, I don’t have a long list of people to call. I sit and sigh, okay no matter how embarrassing I could always get an Uber. I schedule one but because I’m so far it will take about an hour. I walk around to the back and sit on a chair in the dark corner of the backyard. Sitting, I let my finger hover over the last name to try. Here goes nothing. Hanging up I text a short message. What the hell do I have to lose at this point.

I sit. And sit. I don’t know how many girls and guys I rebuff but something about a person not wanting to hook up makes people want to hook up with you apparently. Jeesh, in my real life, no one wanted to date me now everyone was trying to have sex with me. WTF?

Sighing I look at my phone, and crap, it looks like all my surfing has killed my battery. Suddenly a very naked Mark and a different Mrs. Claus come up to me.

Mrs. Claus giggles out, “Hey if you’re nervous, you could totally hook up with my husband. He’s the hot elf over there, standing on the edge of the pool and hot tub. It will be fun! Then if we like, we could continue next week!!” She giggles a lot and I try not to be rude.

“Thank you for that kind offer, but I’m good.”

She shrugs, “Sure thing baby, but aren’t you bored. Marky said you were shy and um, a novice. Don’t be afraid.”

Mark turns and Pidge can’t help but breathe a sigh of relief. Only for some guy in his boxers to edge into her space. “Darlin’, you-me-, it’s written in the stars baby.”

I groan, “Nope. You misread them, thank tho.”

Usually once I say no, they just move on. But nope, not this one. “Don’t be a prude. Sex is very natural. It’s elemental. It’s like essential. You need me baby!!”

Really, that’s his line? I shake my head no, but now we’ve got a crowd. I hear people interject how I’m falling into societies lanes and I must be a virgin because I’m sitting by myself. Then I hear people say I should be grateful and oh my gosh, yep, I’ve been transported back to high school. Except I’m not a self conscious kid anymore and I don’t give a fuck what they think about me. But, I’ll be damned if I don’t respond. No one pushes me or pressures me to do something I don’t want to. And I’ve never just gone with the crowd cuz it was easier, not then, not now.

I hear a roar and suddenly all attention is lost on me. I decided to leave before my temper actually erupts. I quickly move towards the gate to get the hell out of here. I’d rather walk home then stay here. Fuck Mark and his party. I might actually brainstorm with Allura and Romelle on a way to get back at him. Something embarrassing.

As I walk away I hear Mark yelling my name, “Katie! Katie! Don’t walk away! You need to expand your senses and life. Don’t be scared. There is so much I could teach you. Don’t be such a prude!”

Laughter.

Well fuck him. Now I’m pissed. I’m not scared. I just don’t want to do this. Yet, who does he think he is telling me what I should do. As if. And what if he did this to other girls, who weren’t able to say no? I turn around and calmly but loudly state, while looking straight at him, “Look, don’t act like I’m the scared one. Who didn’t tell me where they were taking me. If this was a scene I was into, fine. And believe me, I will sleep with whoever I want. I just don’t want to sleep with you nor do I have anything to prove to anyone. But if and when I see a guy or girl for that matter, that I’d like to fuck, then I would. So, shut up, cause Marky you’re just not it.”

I could hear murmurs and then Mark yelling, and his feet slapping on the ground. Ughhhhh. One thing I could be thankful for is seeing him naked, cuz ick. He has no muscle definition and oh my God, I cannot wait to tell Allura how he looks like he waxes cuz he has no hair anywhere on his body.

I turn to walk away and see a guy who I have HAD the luxury of day dreaming about striding towards me with an shit eating smirk. Well, shit, of course. My eyes closes but it doesn’t stop my from seeing him behind my eyes. His hair is slightly matted from his helmet which means the roar must have been his Harley. He has one of his many black t-shirts on with his favorite leather jacket over it. His jeans are well worn and faded not those designer ones that only look used. He has on his riding boots, which of course give him another inch or so of height. Which he loves. Opening my eyes I see him about 6 feet away and I see he still has his riding gloves on.

I determinedly walk towards him only to hear Mark scream, his feet slapping, or at least I hope it’s his feet. He yells, “Yeah right, you prude-like you would ever-“

I reach said hot guy and say, “I’m kissing you in two seconds. One, two.”

I fist my hand in his shirt and pull him closer to me. Except he doesn’t move, so I look up into his eyes and arch a brow, he arches his, which causes me to roll my eyes and I open my mouth to tell him to go to hell when grins. With his hands on my hips pulls me into his hard body, throwing me off balance. I slip my arms around him lift my head and his lips slam onto mine. Ok, point proven. Yet, as I lean back to break the kiss, I feel two arms encompass me, hold me close and reposition me.

His mouth re-angles on mine, I feel myself lifted on my tip toes. Omg, the heat of his body is amazing. I didn’t even realize I was cold sitting out here but against his body I felt like was next to a heater. His tongue pushes past my lips and, well, I stopped thinking for a full minute, hell maybe minutes. It was that good of a kiss. Shit. His tongue stroked mine, made me shiver and then he nipped my lip causing a groan. I literally could feel him smile and I was going to move back when his hand fisted in my hair and he started to kiss my neck and holy crap! I think my knees buckled but it didn’t matter because he picked me up and my legs were suddenly wrapped around his waist. His hands were supporting my weight but I think they were actually under my dress. My hands were in his hair and digging into his shoulder respectively. Well. Hell.

I don’t know how long that went on for when suddenly I hear Mark right next to us yelling, “That’s enough.”

Slowly pulling back, his gravelly voice questions, “Outta here or are we continuing the show? Just to be clear, I’m good with either decision.” He then arches that fucking brow.

Face flaming, I whisper, “Let’s go. Please.”

Eyes on me, he nods. “What’s asshole’s name?”

“Mark.”

Nodding he raises his voice, “Hey Mark, fuck off and if I ever see you again, you’re dead.”

A girl in just a string bikini bottom steps in front of us, drawing our attention. Her hand is gliding down her chest when she looks right at him, throatily murmuring, “Wanna upgrade?”

He laughs, “Um already did. Let’s go Pidge.”

He moves his hands and I lower my legs. He instantly laces his fingers with mine and pulls me to the path back to the front. “Keith! You can’t say that! You know about Mark being dead meat.”

“Just did.”

“Why, what, are you even doing here?”

As he places his helmet on my head and carefully tightens the straps, “I saw Shiro’s phone buzz, so I looked. It seemed like something that couldn’t wait. So here I am.”

Blinking I nod, “Okay. I said I had an Uber coming.”

“Saw, don’t care. I, um, didn’t like the idea of you being here when you didn’t want to be. So yeah, deal.”

“But why didn’t you respond?”

“I pinged your location to my phone and left. Didn’t think about it honestly.”

“What if I was gone?”

He shrugged as we approached his bike, which was on the lawn! “As long as you were safe.”

He then takes off his coat, slipping it around my shoulders, “Arms in, it’s cold when we start moving.” Eyes on her legs, fingers play with her skirt, brushing her thighs. “I can’t do anything about your legs though. Let me know if you need a break. We can stop as often as you need.”

I nod, and as we drive into the night, my arms tight around his waist, I can’t help but smile. Keith Fucking Kogane. Damn this boy can kiss. Maybe there is hope for my love life after all. I feel his hand cover my hand on his abdomen, squeeze and drift down to my leg. I squeeze him a little tighter and I know it’s just my imagination but I swear I can hear his laughter.

My hero.

#katie holt #keith kogane #kidge #alternate realities

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boggirlsummer · 3 years

Text

Wet Hot American Summer

August 18 Zoey and I thought we fixed the leak in my tent but we were wrong. I spent the early morning inching away from a puddle that finally pushed me out around 8 am - time to get up anyway. Too rainy to cook or make coffee and I left camp aimlessly. I could barely see anything through the smoke and clouds which threw a wrench in my non-plan to drive around and take photos out the car window. Grand Tetons and Montana and Wyoming were up there on my teenage bucket list (lmao, dream big!), mostly for the landscapes and western vibes and maybe a few cathartic renditions of Wide Open Spaces. I just hiked all summer so I feel like I earned a few days of all-american automobile tourism.

Cozy

Decision fatigue is a ball buster on solo trips (and in life) and sometimes I refuse to change course even when it’s clear that a plan isn’t going to work out. I drove around Tetons alternately listening to the directions and making random navigational decisions, so Google kept yelling at me to make a u-turn. Eventually I got annoyed with both of us and stopped for snacks at the general store. I’ve been making my way through all the kettle chip flavors and so far honey dijon is the best and korean bbq is the worst.

Drove straight through to Yellowstone hoping the storm would let up, but by the time I got there it was 50 degrees with rain expected all afternoon. I thought it would be SUMMER once I left the Bay Area, so all my sweaters and warm jackets are in vacuum sealed bags that I don’t have the space in my car to open. I wasn’t loving the idea of being wet and cold in Yellowstone all night so I talked the campground lady into refunding my site reservation and headed for Big Sky, Montana.

I felt bad leaving without seeing any of the Yellowstone sights so I stopped at Old Faithful on my way out. I knew laughably little about what I was looking at and when a bunch of people started gathering I thought to myself, is this thing gonna explode or something?? And ya turns out that’s the entire point, it shoots a bunch of water and steam into the air every few minutes. I bought a cup of coffee and watched halfheartedly. The only other attraction I know about is the rainbow glory hole and there was so much traffic to park in the lot I said screw it and went on to Montana.

No LTE between Yellowstone and Big Sky and I was without a place to sleep - luckily my sister was available to do some emergency concierge work for me. I eventually found a nice campground near town but the obscene number of bear country warning signs freaked me out. I backtracked to Big Sky to buy a $50 can of bear spray, what a rip. Feeling beat today so I made it up to myself with a bowl of chicken curry ramen and a Sapporo. It was no nugget curry, but it did the job ☺️

Reading the bear spray instructions before bed - you’re supposed to use it once a charging bear is two to three seconds from reaching you. Wtf. I can’t do anything in two seconds. Finished Year of the Monkey at last. Almost fell asleep with a candy wrapper in my pocket, instant death. Also I got my period and I’m worried this is going to attract the bears.

August 19 I broke my own rule. I drove to Bozeman this morning and had a chicken fried steak at the Western Cafe, “The Last Best Cafe.” I had a nice chat with two old guys at the bar, initiated by ME! We talked about my trip so far and books (I was reading Walden Two and one of the guys had Woman in the Window with him, and we agreed that both authors are pretty nuts). Good time all around and then one of them secretly bought my breakfast 🥰 I’ve only ever had creepy men buy me drinks at bars so free CFS with no strings attached was a revelation. My smile lit up the cold dark streets of Bozeman.

Too early for hostel check-in so I killed some time hanging out in a coffee shop and wandering around Main Street. When I’m alone in a new city I usually get on the apps, it’s fun to hang out with a real LOCAL and have an AUTHENTIC experience. I did this on my first night in Sydney last year and my date won $7,000 at a bar raffle he’d been going to every week for three years and then bought us a night’s worth of top shelf shots, bad coke, and dumplings. Obviously I was his good luck charm so I should’ve gotten a cut of that $$$ but whatever… Eventually we went back to his depressing loft outside of the city. It was barely furnished and full of his shitty art and luckily he didn’t have any condoms so I was able to decline sex without feeling guilty (I had condoms of course but didn’t disclose). He tried to fuck me again around 4 am and I was so confused I thought he must have found a condom while I was briefly sleeping. He had not. I snuck out at 6 am and caught the bus back to the city. Not the most restful night but nice to get away from the hostel for a little while. But ya I updated my Hinge location to Bozeman and got hella conservative men swiping on me 🥴 My profile isn’t anything crazy but I don’t think I’m giving off Megyn Kelly vibes. Are they playing some sort of sexual bingo? Are they out to stealth me? Seems sus.

If you are a man on Hinge with a naked photo on your profile I WILL screenshot it and I WILL make a collage of my collection once I have enough material and I WILL sell it as a NFT and I WILL make $0 cuz y’all are freaks. This is the tamest one I’ve got, text me if you want a photo of a naked man covering his junk with a pineapple.

Ooooieee hostel is grungy and subterranean and not the kinda place you want to spend many conscious hours in. I took myself to the movies to escape - another thing I really missed last year. I saw The Night House, which I would describe as an architectural horror? I’ve been thinking about architecture a lot lately, this cool site Zoey sent me has some interesting interviews and stuff. In the movies I ate an entire bag of sour gummy worms and a box of junior mints.

Had a freaky bookstore experience earlier today, not the first time this summer. I originally wrote a longgg paragraph about synchronicity here but I got self conscious and started wondering if hearing other people’s stories about synchronicity is like listening to them talk about their dreams. I personally love talking about dreams (call me and tell me about your crazy dreams!!) but things definitely get lost in translation and sometimes they’re straight boring (like when my old coworkers and I used to dream in Excel, fucckkk). So I get why people find it annoying and here at Bog Girl Summer we can’t afford to alienate any of our readers. All I will say is that I walked into a bookstore today with synchronicity very much on my mind, went to the psychology section to buy a baby Jung text, and there saw a literal sign that said “Staff Pick, Introductory Jung: Synchronicity.” So yes, I bought it. Don’t forget y’all - I have a psychology degree so please don’t come after me about confirmation bias and all that lol. It’s very possible that in this summer of upheaval I’m desperate for some kinda sign that I’m on the right path. Let me have this one 😘

I also bought this postcard which spoke to me because most days I feel like I’m trying to drink out of a firehose

#Spotify

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luci-cunt · 4 years

Note

If you get a chance, could you do “love confession” and “anger born of worry” for Andreil? I can’t get enough of these boys

Oh fuck YES I can this is my favorite kind of angst lets get some FEELINGS in this chat tonight folks!!

61. Love Confession + 79. Anger Born of Worry

Right--so--

fuck it, detective au

(side note if you like this you should 200000% go check out this fic: Doe & Josten: Deductionists by Spanglebangle it’s one of the greatest things I’ve ever read and I ADORE it so do yourself a favor and bless your eyes by reading it!! <33)

Andrew is a fancy detective man, he works for Wymack (sometimes) and every case he’s gone up against he’s solved

Queue Neil, who’s on the run when he bumps into a serial killer (who ISN’T his father for once--that’s a... relief...?)

Anyways, this particular killer is one that Andrew’s been hunting, and so he and his team bust in right as Neil is escaping

the killer manages to get away but now they have Neil as a witness--he’s not pleased

Andrew (accurately) assumes neil’s gonna run off the first chance he gets, so Andrew doesn’t leave his side (under the guise of “oh you don’t have a house? stay in my guest room. it’s not a question.)

It takes a while, but Neil starts to warm up to him a bit (even though he 100% plots murder the first couple days)

And he even starts helping out on the case a little bit, finding that he actually kind of likes it--and also isn’t half bad (thanks for the experience dealing with psychopaths dad)

Andrew also starts warming up to him--surprisingly, becuase at first Neil was just a witness, but now he’s Neil

So they start trusting one another more, Andrew sends Neil on unsupervised donut runs and Neil manages to sleep without the door barricaded

that’s all fine and great, until they realize the killer is coming back after Neil--something about “the one that got away”

obviously that’s a bit disconcerting, but by this point Neil’s tired and just wants to play detective with his boyfriend Andrew so one day he offers to just kill the guy (they have enough info to arrest him they just can’t find him)

Andrew’s like “we don’t even know where he is”

and Neil’s like “I could find him”

they get in a bit of a fight cuz “well if you can find him why haven’t you fucking done that??”

and the answer to that is “well I didn’t like you before”

which gets Neil straight up kicked out of the house

what’s his response?

Find the killer

Andrew realizes a couple hours after he kicked Neil out that that’s probably what the stubborn asshole is going to try and do--and then he’s not answering his phone UNTIL Andrew gets a very cryptic message from Neil’s phone that’s literally just an address with a “come alone” note

Andrew’s losing his mind, immediately assuming the worst

but he’s stupid so he listens to the message, goes to the place (alone) and when he shows up he finds--

Neil

with the killer

captured, but not dead

Andrew is BEYOND pissed, who the FUCK texts shit like that while people know a serial killer is hunting you what the FUCK were you thinking??????

and Neil’s just like “what? I gave you the address?? I don’t see the problem”

and then Andrew’s like “the problem is I thought i was going to be arriving to a box with your head in it”

and neil’s like “and why is that a--OH YOU CARE ABOUT ME!!!”

“No.”

“Liar!! You were worried!! You didn’t want to see my head in a box!”

“That’s beyond a low bar Josten”

*Neil’s just grinning like an idiot* “youuuu caaarreee”

and anyways they take the killer in, he goes to prison, Neil and Andrew have their first date at an icecream shop and Andrew makes fun of Neil for only eating the cone

<333

Send me some prompts + some characters or a ship and I’ll tell ya how I’d mash em

(btw I am still doing these!! just a bit slower than usual cuz finals are getting started and unfortunately I must prioritize XD <33)

#luci writes #aftg #all for the game #seriously tho that fic is so good i love it #its technically not finished yet? but it's still like 100k #<-- scratch that it's actually 200k #XDD #might fuck around and do some fic recs because aksf;lkasfdjlj y'all this fandom is so fucking talented #anyways #<333

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crushzone · 4 years

Text

🎬 About Me

Original art of me and my fictional hubby, Ukai Keishin, by @achieve-the-sun, posted with permission. 💕

Hi there!

My name is Nin and I am the founder of Crushzone Cinema Theater. 📽 🍿

🎬 THE BASICS

Age: 23

Birthday: December 24th

Pronoun: She/her

Education: Graduated with a dual degree in Film and Global History

Occupation: Is currently a film freelancer in the camera department, who desperately needs money to pay rent every month lol.

Likes:

- The sound of rain tapping on my window

- Watching my plants rise and droop to the moving sun

- Cooking and experimenting with different cuisines; Japanese, Thai and Chinese are some of my favorites.

- Giving my husband and my cat their head rubs every night.

- Drawing, painting, and photography. (Here’s some of my works!)

- The feeling of accomplishment after you’ve gone through SO much for a project with your peers. To work on your own movie or short film, and finally seeing it done, is such a rewarding experience.

- To eat my Mac and Cheese with ketchup, nutritional yeast, and steamed broccoli. (Fight me lol. 🦖 )

- Eating chips with chopsticks.

- Medjool dates with a spoonful of crunchy peanut butter 😋

-Wearing oversized clothes, especially hoodies.

- Sitting at my reading nook, with my cat next to me on the chair.

Dislikes:

- The buzzing sound bees make when they fly.

- Slipping on my own chunk of hair on the ground; I have a lot of hair and I shed a lot.

- The heat, I may be from Thailand, but I am very much done with the blaring heat. One second I’ll look real cute with my face all done up, but the moment I step out, it’s already melting from my face.

- Going to sleep; there’s SO much more I could be doing right now!

- When my bangs desperately need a trim and is poking my eyes.

- Poor lighting, doesn’t matter if it is real life, just light it like you’re IN a film!! It’s so much more dramatic that way! (For real, come to my house, every corner is lit with some sort of a look/mood 😏)

- Loud noises; when people are yelling all the time, or something is loud, I get nervous when I can’t hear my own thoughts.

- People with bad attitude, a temper, or is just kind of mean in general. There is absolutely no excuse for you to be that way, and nothing productive comes out of it. Nuh-uh.

🎬 FUN FACTS

My parents hired a piano teacher when I was in elementary school, but because I didn’t enjoy her company (for some reason), I refused to absorb information. Little did I know, it would backfire me and would have absolutely no effect to her pay.

I’m that kid who always has 4 spare pencils and 5 erasers to lend out to my peers.

Will serenade to my cat every morning and night, so if you are ever my roommate, I apologize for my horrible singings.

Performed as a cave and pot in my high school production, and lemme tell ya, it is more difficult than it sounds.

Has no problem doing laundry in the morning, but the moment the sun falls, I will be too afraid to go down into my basement to do it. Some may say that it is an excuse for me to put laundry off for the next day, but I always tell my husband that there’s a “Babadook” in there. 👀

One time I stepped on a millipede, and I cried for 2 days because I felt really bad for it.

I’m actually VERY shy most of the times, so if you see me laughing a lot like a hyena, then it’s likely that it’s just me being awkward. OR I may just be having a good time, who knows.

I’m awful around kids, I am SO awkward and will stiff up like a rock (if you see me doing that, pls come safe me). One time this kid asked me why I laugh so much, so I simply just laughed some more while backing out of the room slowly. 🤦‍♀️

🎬 SOME FUN QUESTIONS!

What is something you wish you were gifted at doing?

I wish I could sing. My husband is a musician, and it looks like he’s having so much fun. There’s just something so freeing about it, as if it’s another language that takes time to become fluent in, but when you are, it’s so captivating and expressive. I don’t think I’m an awful singer, but is just too incredibly shy to sing in front of others.

What is the first movie you remember seeing in theater?

It may had been Disney’s Dinosaur (2000), not sure. All I remember was that there were a bunch of dinosaurs on screen, may had even been 3D with those glasses.

At one point, a tiger jumped at the screen, and I started crying. My mom and brother wanted to finish the movie, so my dad had to sit outside with me, until it was over. It was chill tho, my dad was teaching me different dinosaur names. 👶 🦖 🦕

What is the first thing you do when you get home?

Pants off, baby!! I don’t usually wear a bra, but if do, then I guess it’s bra’s off first. Then I instantly hop into my plaid boxer shorts hehee. 🤭

What has been the hardest thing for you to face or learn?

That people go through different stages of their life at different paces, and that is totally okay. When I was younger, I would always overwork, and as a result, I don’t really have a lot of time for myself. I did that, mostly, because I wanted to get a head start at everything, especially at my career. Now that I am 23-24, and had just graduated from Class of 2019, I’ve been getting film gigs since I was a sophomore, and is now a full time freelancer.

Yet, I was not satisfied, because I got to work with a 21 y/o in a position that was under her, and it made me feel momentarily incompetent; like I wasn’t doing well enough. But it will never be enough if that’s the mindset; I never considered that she skipped university and went straight into film, so circumstances were entirely different.

Meanwhile, there’s someone 10+ years older than me who is struggling to get the work I’d get, and that is okay too. What I should’ve done is feel happy for her, and use that to motivate myself to improve. As long as I never give up, and continue to do my best with a good attitude, everything will be just fine.

If you could give your younger self any advice what would it be?

That it’s okay to take a break sometimes, live life a little, and cherish all the happiness, sadness, heartbreak, and struggles that you are going through right now. Every tear will make you stronger, and genuine every smile will eventually pull you through.

Time goes by very quickly, and every stage in your life is a part of you, so make sure you remember how you get to where you are well.

Do you see the glass as half empty or half full?

Half full, just grateful that there’s any liquid in the glass at all, and is excited to acquire more with all the space I’ve got on top, ya know? 🤷‍♀️

What is the strangest thing you believed as a child?

That if you whistle at night, the ghosts will come find you. Or if you play hide and seek at night, then you’ve opened up some kind of portal that the ghosts will kidnap you away from this dimension forever.

Tbh, I think my grandma was just sick of me trying to learn how to whistle when I was in elementary school and of me running around the house at night, so she made these omen up lol.

What time do you usually get up in the morning?

Used to wake up at 13:00-14:00 all the time, but since I married an early bird, I’ve been up at 6:30-7:00 lately.

What time is your usual bed time?

Heeheee 1:00-2:00 in the morning, oops.

How has your birth order/characteristics of siblings affected you?

I have the loveliest older brother in the world, he’s 4 years older, and is very smart, diligent, athletic, and funny. Me being the only daughter, my parents are incredibly protective, so they’d always have my brother do everything for me.

It was a relief when I was younger, but as I enter high school, it became a little frustrating; I felt like I was living under his shadows and can never be considered independent. They’d also spend a lot more time training with him cuz he’s a national competitive swimmer.

Because of that, I had a lot of time to myself, so I experimented with my own interests and grew in my own way. As I’ve grown, I can definitely say that it’s made me a lot more independent and introverted haha. I absolutely dislike depending on anyone (Will be my last resort), but it’s also nice to know that whenever either of us fall, we’ll always have each other’s back.

#tag games with Nin 🎮

Learn even more about me through various tag games I participated!✌️

#chats with Nin

My previous responses, rambles, vibe checks, and many more!

And please drop by my ask box and chit chat, I love interacting with you all! 👋

>>> Back to Ticket Booth Navigation 🎟

#about me #navigation #haikyuu!!#haikyuu!! writer #writer #get to know the author #get to know the writer #get to know me #fun facts #questions #introduction

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cryptocism · 4 years

Note

ive been scrolling through ur blog for a while (cuz ur dc opinions are Top Fucking Notch) and i saw what you said abt bart in tt 03 and f:fma and while i totally agree (it killed tt 03 for me lol) im super curious abt how youd do his development if given the opportunity?

I’ve been thinking about this one like A Lot so buckle up this is long:

it would kind of depend? On whether or not he’d be in an ensemble team like Teen Titans or with his own solo series.

I understand metatextually why he became Kid Flash in TT, since they needed him to be more mature and a more recognizable character and having him upgrade costumes/codenames is a good shortcut for both. But I’ve already talked about why it didn’t sit right with me.

So, lets flip the script a little bit - the start of TT would be largely the same. Our boy Bart is on the new Titans team, and things are kind of awkward after YJ disbanded, also Max is gone and Bart’s relationship with Wally is still not doing great. Things are rough, Bart has newfound doubts to deal with, especially now that the world seems to have gotten harsher and everyone seems to have a lot less patience to deal with him. The pressure to be more mature and a recognizable character is coming from other characters now rather than an authorial need: he’s reminded to take things seriously, or that he should know better by now, that he needs to slow down and think more. So Bart decides a change is necessary, and we get the library scene. He reads all the books, he reappears as Kid Flash, saves Tim via bullet catch, disassembles a gun, takes down Slade, etc. etc. Here’s my departure from canon though: it doesn’t work.

Kid Flash is not a solution, or a magical cure for immaturity. Reading a whole library so he’s miraculously smarter and more mature and capable is, at its core, a pretty naive conclusion. And it makes sense he would think that. But it doesn’t work. He’s still impulsive, distractible, hasty. He can’t put a lid on his own sense of humor. People still think he’s annoying or lazy or careless. And he keeps trying - he knows all this stuff now, he read a whole library! - but he’s still apparently too much the same person as he's always been. And even though he’s trying very hard to live up to the Kid Flash name, it still doesn’t feel like him. Wally doesn’t like it, since Bart is literally just imitating him now, which makes things between the two even worse. And Bart keeps worrying about what’s supposed to come afterwards, since “Kid Flash” is inherently temporary, and while Impulse was only peripherally related to the flash legacy, Kid Flash comes with expectations.

Bart is trying very very hard to be ‘grown up’ and ‘mature’, but he hasn’t actually learned anything other than a bunch of facts (which are still useful, but) he’s just trying to be who everyone expects him to be.

And this is what i mean about the ensemble thing, because this arc would be in conversation with the rest of the core four, who are also trying very hard to be people they’re not, but all in different ways. Bart obviously with the codename change, but Cassie, Tim, and Kon all have similar issues, they’re all trying to imitate people.

Tim is doing his Batman jr. routine, reverting back to the persona he had at the start of YJ. He’s cagey and mysterious and does questionable things without telling anybody, because he’s de-facto leader of the team again, and he has to be better than he is. No more kid stuff, the Titans are serious, he has to treat it like a job, not like a sleepover. And this whole act is putting distance between him and his friends.

Cassie is trying her hardest to put herself in a support role. Donna’s gone and she has some big shoes to fill (she and Tim could probably bond about that if he weren’t stubbornly trying to brood at all hours of the day) and she’s doing her best to just Be Donna. Cassie and Tim would work better with their team roles swapped, and they both sort of know this - Cassie is naturally charismatic, thinks on her feet, can maintain good PR, and when she’s confident in herself is great at leading. Tim is partial to planning ahead, secrets, and keeping in the shadows, and is better at being a confidant and emotional problem solver among the team (when he allows himself to be open among friends, that is).

But they’re both trying to fit themselves into what they see as pre-ordained roles: Robin is leader, Wondergirl is a supportive mediator. But Cassie’s got a temper and little patience for people being idiots, and Tim’s not predisposed to spotlights.

Kon on the other hand has a story that’s less about who he should be and more who he shouldn’t be. The Lex Luthor dad storyline is here (minus the mind control shit, although the threat of it is still brought up) and Kon is doing his level best to do nothing that could be interpreted as something Lex might do. While everyone is doing their best to Not be their own person, Kon has no idea if he ever was his own person. He’s questioning everything he does, wondering if it’s some kind of evil gene showing through when he’s angry or petty or selfish. He’s going through lots of clone angst.

So they’re all dealing with expectations and who they are or aren’t supposed to be, trying to fit themselves into boxes that don’t suit them and then convincing themselves that this is how it ought to be. Kon ought to avoid feeling or acting in any negative light because any sign of Luthor is a sign of evil, Cassie ought to tone herself down and act like Donna, Tim ought to step up and lead the team and act like Dick, and Bart ought to listen better and be smarter and slow down and grow up and do his level best to just Be Wally.

Throughout the issues they’d all get a spotlight on their various crises, taking them through complimenting character arcs. Kon would realize through a couple close encounters and chats with ma and pa and talks with his friends and citizens of metropolis that nobody is all good or all bad. Clark can be a real asshole sometimes and Luthor’s actually done a fair bit of good (usually in his own interests, but still we’re gunning for nuance). Turns out he doesn’t have a dark side to be tempted by, he was made from 50% complex person and 50% complex person, just like everyone else. Which means he isn’t destined to be the next Superman, or Superman’s next supervillain. He’s just like, a person. With his own thoughts and feelings that have nothing to do with genetics.

Tim would wear himself out and hide it from everybody until he killed himself, but it’s only when he sees Cassie also wearing herself out too that his ‘somebody needs somebody’ instincts kick in and they’re actually able to talk about how miserable they both are. Through some trial and error they’re able to figure out a good co-leader system for leading the team, having each other’s backs along the way, which allows for them both being able to help out the other members of their team with their own shit i.e. Kon and Bart’s identity issues.

Bart is, like Cassie and Tim, wearing himself out trying to be this perfect version of Wally that never actually existed. He actually hates the recognition the new name gives him, because people have expectations for him now, ones he can never seem to live up to. He’s bad at following orders still, which makes him a pretty shit sidekick for Wally, in fact he’s just pretty shit at being a sidekick in general. But, he reasons, he’s supposed to be grown up and responsible now, and responsibility is all about doing shit you hate until you die, so he’s probably on the right track.

It’s only later, once he gets some support from his friends, who help him deal with things like Max and YJ disbanding and stuff that he’s able to actually sit down and have a heart-to-heart with Wally. Wally confesses that he understands the pressure to live up to a legacy, and how he did his best to just Be Barry when he became the flash. In fact while Bart was trying to live up to Wally and be a good sidekick, Wally was trying to live up to Barry and be a good mentor. Wally’s the one to tell him that Bart’s always done his own thing, and is at his best when he does. They both agree they suck as partners, but maybe they should’ve tried to be family first. And there’s probably a racing metaphor in there somewhere because speedsters love their racing metaphors.

ANyway Bart returns to Impulse, forging a new path, getting along better with Wally now and hanging out with him just as civilians with no pretense. He learns some valuable lessons about how maturity can’t be learned in a book, and that he’ll get it himself the more he lives and learns from experience. The Titans all get along better now that they’re all sure of their places in the group, and they can all go on just being themselves without worrying about expectations or roles to fill or whatever.

...If Bart still had his solo series instead though, id actually want it to go in a sort of different direction? The thing about living up to predecessors and trying to be some ideal version of another person works well for the Titans because they can all deal with a similar issue in different ways, but I think it would also be interesting to do the complete opposite.

Lots of shitty things happened in very quick succession in Bart’s life that he had no control over: Max’s disappearance, having to move in with Jay and Joan (who are nice, but whom he barely knows,) leaving his friends in Alabama, Young Justice breaking up… Basically, things kind of suck for Bart, and all he wants is for them to go back to the way they were. Instead of trying to be grown up or mature or whatever, Bart is resisting every single encroaching thing about coming adulthood. Because all growing up ever seems to mean is that everything changes and either you have to leave the people you love or they have to leave you.

So this series would focus mostly on that, both in his civilian life; going into high school, not knowing anybody, the few friends he does make are less interested in ‘kid stuff’ and more focused on dating and interpersonal drama, high school itself seems to be geared entirely toward the “what are you going to do with your life” question, when he visits his old friends back in manchester, they’ve all kind of grown up without him. And in hero life; everyone from Young Justice is trying to move on and not talking to each other, his father figure and mentor is gone and he's not really jiving well with the rest of the flash family, and people just seem to have less patience for Impulse now that he’s older.

Growing up is hard. It’s hard and no one understands. Especially not when you’re also a superhero and have dealt with some quality trauma like losing loved ones and feeling yourself die. So it makes sense that Bart would resist that in every way possible, do his best to pretend like everything is still how it used to be, for once in his life just trying to make everything stay put. He refuses to get rid of his old stuff, he doesn’t want to treat any villainous threats seriously, people in school keep talking about college and jobs and tuition fees and Bart wants none of that, he acts out, refuses responsibility, gets reckless under the pretense that he never used to have to be cautious.

And this is the part where I’d bring in Inertia, cause Thad was robbed and I want him to have an actual arc that doesn’t end with infant-splosion. Also he can have a good ol companion arc to Bart. Welcome to foils everybody, where two identical boys with opposing life experiences get to thematically compare and contrast with each other as they deal with the trials and tribulations of growing up.

So, I’m ignoring every appearance Thad ever made after Impulse 1995, picking up instead where his story left off where he swore vengeance on his creators and disappeared into the speed force. And he’s off to do exactly what he said; Thad Thawne II is going to kill his namesake/grandfather/creator - the president of Earthgov.

But, turns out assassinating the president of a whole fucking planet is a lot harder than he thought - Thad has planned extensively for every moment of his life, so once he starts going off script things predictably go a little off the fuckin rails. Thad fails, obviously. For one because despite how much President Thawne might deserve to die, Thad at this point hasn’t done anything worse than attempted murder, and making him a killer would put a wrench in any kind of redemption arc he could have. Also he’s acting on rage, in a highly emotional state, basically going up against the entire government. Of course he’s going to get caught by the science police and brought into custody.

Bart, meanwhile is jumping with both feet into any kind of escapism he can find, which involves various time travel shenanigans and lands him in the 30th century. He gets to reunite however briefly with his mom, but the mission he had gets derailed by the appearance of Inertia.

Every time Bart and President Thawne interact, the president always seems to make a bid to sway Bart to the Thawne side. This never works, which is part of the reason Inertia exists in the first place; a version of Bart that the president could control. When Inertia landed in the 30th century, hell bent on assassinating his creator, the President subdued him and eventually coerced him back over to the Thawne side of the family feud. No longer a rogue agent, Inertia is back to his old self, all about destroying Bart and the rest of the Allens.

They have a battle, taking place all over the 30th century city, and Bart does his best but Inertia has the entire Earthgov police force on his side, and Bart eventually gets captured. He gets taken to some kind of holding facility, meets with the President who monologues as him while Inertia stands beside him like a good lackey. Then suddenly the speed-inhibiting cuffs or whatever Inertia had put on Bart to stop his speed malfunctions, and Inertia drops the act, now Impulse and Inertia working together to take down the Earthgov people holding them there.

Turns out as soon as Inertia knew he couldn’t take out the president, what with all the military force President Thawne had on his side, he bided his time until he could. He uses Bart’s help to finally get President Thawne cornered, and the assassination plan is back on track. Except now Bart is the thing stopping him. He makes the argument about how murder bad. Heroes don’t kill, etc. Inertia insists he isn’t a hero. But Bart reminds him that that’s not how Max saw him.

Inertia hesitates just enough that President Thawne is able to get away, and now the two of them have to make an escape attempt back to the past. Bart insists on trying to take Meloni with them, and they try but ultimately fail somehow (maybe someone has to stay behind to make sure they can make the trip safely, idk. At first Thad is willing to stay behind, since there’s nothing really for him in the past. But Meloni knows that President Thawne would destroy him if he did, and she can’t let harm come to either of her sons - and she does consider Thad her son, just like Bart. She’s had far too little time with either of them, but she loves them all the same. She tells them to take care of each other, and is the first to encourage them to be like, actual brothers.)

After yet another tearful goodbye, Bart swearing he’ll find a way for them to all be together again, Bart and Thad go back. And they do end up having to lean on each other, because shit’s tough for the both of them. Thad initially wants to apologize and possibly reunite with Max and Helen, and then finds out Max is gone. And Bart has someone who understands exactly what he’s going through.

Things get a little more lighthearted from here. Bart and Thad don’t get along well at first, since they’re both going through rough times and lots of changes and their first instincts are to lash out at each other. But eventually they form a sort of camaraderie through shared grief, then shared fish-out-of-water experiences. Which evolves into shared inside jokes and video games and comic books and they become slow but steady friends.

They upgrade into brothers when Bart defends Thad against the repeated (and not entirely undeserved) suspicion he receives from the rest of the Flash family. Jay and Joan take him in, but it’s clear they don’t trust him, and neither does Wally. Bart stands up for Thad, arguing that he’s as much of a Thawne as Thad is, and treating Thad like he’s the next Cobalt Blue is just going to ensure that history never changes and stupid family feuds are forever. After this, Thad starts trusting Bart a little more, and kind of solves Bart’s problems regarding encroaching adulthood with his friendship. Neither of them really had a childhood, and Thad hasn’t experienced 21st century life at all, much less the societal expectations to grow up. So Bart gets to have fun again, and Thad won't judge any of his games or his books or his attitude or interests for being childish or lame because he’s fascinated by the experience of anything regardless of the target audience.

And from there it's a series about these two becoming brothers and growing up and the different lessons they learn and wacky characters they meet along the way. Thad ironically also puts Bart in a position where he has to take on more responsibility, since even though Thad can imitate heroic actions and is actually pretty good at it, he doesn’t understand what makes them heroic. Bart has to draw on a lot of the things Max taught him and now has to teach them to Thad.

There’s crossover comics with Superboy, where Bart laments about having to deal with grown up stuff, and Kon gives him a new perspective on the whole “being young forever” thing, since that was a reality Kon actually had to deal with and it sucked.

Through various misadventures they meet new and familiar characters to give them different perspectives on the whole passage of time thing. Villains who despise children or childish things, villains who embrace it but probably too much. People who talk about growing up as the worst time of their lives, others talking about it like it was the best. Kids and adults alike trying to force Bart and Thad to act a certain way while treating them another.

The two of them come to opposing conclusions about this; Thad wants to embrace change completely, partly because he wants to experience firsthand all that life has to offer, but also his worldview depends on believing that anyone can change, and anyone can be better, because he has to believe he can be redeemed for all the shitty stuff he did. Bart, on the other hand, knows his life isn’t perfect but thinks, based on recent events, that it’s all just going to get worse from here, and so resists change as much as possible.

Thad, in his haste to experience everything, sometimes ends up going too far, either burning both of them out, or pushing them into situations that they’re not ready for or are ill-equipped to handle. Bart, on the other hand is so resistant to change or responsibility that he stops them from doing actual necessary things like planning their futures or doing chores or making new friends. This acts as the crux for their main conflict that slowly builds throughout the series, and then in a finale to the arc, they both figure out a way to get Meloni back to the past, and to raise some stakes they have a falling out in the middle of the mission about it.

Bart accuses Thad of trying to leave him behind, or trying to be the better version of him again, and that old insecurity about Thad replacing him crops up. Thad thinks Bart just can’t handle anything outside his personal bubble and wants to force him to live in the real world. Plus he also feels kind of abandoned by Bart, who often would leave Thad to do the scary adult things on his own.

Tensions still high, there's suddenly an external threat to deal with - probably president thawne and the science police - and they attempt to continue arguing even while fighting the president. I’m making this up as I go so lets say yada yada big climactic moment it's looking like the two might fail to get Meloni back and they’re both still angry with each other and Bart just… can’t take it anymore.

He keeps losing people, and the ones he keeps he always seems to screw up with. And at the end of the day he’s just a kid who wants his mom. Is that really so much to ask? So there’s a reversal, a parallel, if you will, of the assassination attempt from the beginning of the series, this time with Bart. Or, because I don’t think many people would buy that Bart would actually ever for real kill someone, maybe he’s finally about to get his mom back, but she doesn’t want to go (since she made that deal with the president that he wouldn’t harm anyone of the Allen family so long as she stayed with him) so he’s trying to force her, risking the lives/well-being of the entire Allen bloodline across all of time.

This time it’s Thad who has to talk him down, who has to remind him about being a hero, who has to remind him that trying to go back to some magical time in the past where things were better is just going to stop him from learning and growing as a person, and that doing anything and everything possible to get there is just going to lead to Bart doing something he Actually Can’t walk back from.

Alright but here’s the thing because having Bart be forced to leave his mom again for like the billionth time is tired and overdone, and personally the whole message about heroics involving extreme and damaging amounts of sacrifice can only go so far. So here; Thad and Bart are both right.

Like on the one hand, yeah, it’s childish and selfish for Bart to want to be with his mom at the expense of literally everyone else in his family. On the other hand, the fact that they can’t be together because some asshole is upholding a stupid grudge is bad and unfair and wrong. The issue needing to be fixed is not the kid who wants his mom, it’s the jackass keeping them apart (and who also wants to kill/imprison people). So Bart convinces Thad that they have to save Meloni, and Thad convinces Bart that there has to be another way - one where they get their mom back and the Allens don’t have to be hunted.

The whole story would be leading up to the two of them coming to this conclusion; the healthy middle between the two extremes. Where they have the maturity to plan ahead and sort through their differences and figure out the best course of action with the least amount of collateral, but they don’t let go of that adolescent need for justice and fairness - that thing that makes you dig in your heels and say “no. That’s not fair, that’s not right.”

SO here’s where I’d put the title card: “Bartholomew and Thaddeus Take Down The Government”. How do they do it? No idea! I’m flyin by the seat of my pants here! Do they run for office? Do they publicize the president’s crimes in such a way he gotta go to jail? Do they somehow turn public opinion against him enough to get him out of office? idk!!! And I don’t remember enough about Earthgov’s political situation to put an accurate read on what exactly they might do to disrupt it.

Either way they don’t kill him, manage to free their mom, and they all go back to the past together. And a new arc would involve the three of them getting settled in the past; Meloni would be a main character now, and hers is a two-pronged fish out of water story where she’s trying to figure out how shit works in the past, with overtones of the struggles of being a single parent.

And... I’m not going to say any more about that because this is long enough already oof.

TL;DR I think a coming of age story would be cool for Bart, and having to deal with growing up when he never really had a childhood. Also the comic itself would be aimed at younger audiences, who can probably relate to having a Bad Time in the Teens and wacky hijinks with friends and siblings.

#soapbox #anonymous #asks

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lordofevildreams-a · 4 years

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Rules *UPDATED*

⚠️ = A pretty important rule on my blog. If you’re in a hurry, just read these bullets. The rest is basically either common sense or not very important.

⚠️I don’t really answer IMs, I am VERY slow at it if I do. Discord is better for chat, feel free to ask for it. Asks work too to talk to each other. Spam will get you blocked..

—-

Opens are for anyone!

⚠️NSFW is allowed, but not smut really (I will do smut, but I need to know you well and be in the mood for it.) I don’t like smut really, but things like violence, gore, and all that is fine and I like it. There will be dark themes on this blog. Ask to tag.

Any age is welcome to my blog. I will be honest, I have a LOT more patience with younger folk than adults. I am 25 years old.

⚠️Do not pester me for replies, wait before asking. Give it three days.

⚠️ I stay away from plotting. I will plot a starting point though.

I don’t like fighting RPs, so I stay away from those. I only will do them with people if it’s a short fight, or if I am very close to you.

Note: I will still do fighting RPs, however you MUST understand Shigaraki is severely OP. I will not tone him down and hold him back. Only thing I will hold him back on is killing or maiming your muse.

To do a fighting RP, this rules post MUST be liked or replied to indicate you've read it.

Me unfollowing you will happen for the following; You have untagged stuff I don’t want to see, post too much ooc (I am perfectly fine with ooc talk, but if you’re reblogging pictures and random posts that has NOTHING to do with your muse, I will PROBABLY unfollow (unless it amuses me or I don’t mind it.) WHEN I UNFOLLOW it means I will STILL RP with you. I just didn’t want your stuff on my dash.

Blocking= You give me bad vibes, I don’t like the way you talk to me, you vague post, issues that are with YOU and not the blog. You’ve broken rules. WHEN I BLOCK SOMEONE, I will NOT RP with them or talk to them or anything. I give no warnings, cuz I don’t have to.

I will never soft block someone.

I will RP with MOST fandoms.

Mun =/= Muse.

Paragraphs > one liners. That being said, most of my starters will be one liners.

I ship with chemistry. Please don’t be hurt if I don’t approve of a ship. Muse must be 18+ to ship with Shigs.

I will likely not ship with aged up minors. I will still RP with you! I have just had bad experience shipping with an aged up minor with other people.

This blog is mutliship.

Do not drag me into drama. Do not start drama with me. If you have issues with someone I RP with, either black list their tag, or simply unfollow me. You may warn me about someone, but that doesn’t mean I will reply nor take action.

I usually stay away from multi threads. (Unless with multi muses and it’s with a different character.)

I will probably not RP with anyone who has their OC muse related to Shigaraki in some way. It doesn’t sit well with me and you will probably be blocked. If it’s a friend and someone I know, then I will allow it.

Don’t like a starter call if you don’t intend to reply. I don’t remind people due to anxiety. If you like for a starter and don’t reply numerous times, I will likely stop giving you one.

No god modding, auto hitting, etc. We all know that stuff. Don’t do it. Unless you get permission of course

I do not send pass words for rules read. I admit, I DO forget, or I’ve read so many they blend together.

Mun is a potato.

Mun uses he/him pronouns himself, however, I really do not care what you refer to me as. Whatever you see me as is okay by me~. (He/him/she/her/they/them. It all works.)

⚠️If you make a starter in my ask, reply to it in a separate post. Honestly if you don’t do this, there’s a big chance I won’t reply.

⚠️Do not spam me. It upsets me.

Do not reblog RPs you are part of.

⚠️I AM NOT YOUR THERAPIST. Please do NOT come to me with your problems. Only very close friends may vent to me that I feel comfortable with. I’m sorry this sounds mean but it really affects my own health when I start helping random strangers. If you come to me starting something, I will probably ignore it.

I AM FLEXIBLE, I CAN and WILL make exceptions! Just ask about whatever is on your mind.

⚠️I do have a job and other hobbies. RPing won’t always be my main thing to do on my list.

⚠️And the most important rule on this blog– HAVE FUN!

—-

WARNING: Stealing my icons will get you into a LOT of trouble. I will get nasty and even resort to call out post. Stealing my icons IS theft, as I had either paid for them or made them myself, which took me HOURS to do. I will not tolerate theft. I will not share my icons with anyone, so please do not ask. If you see someone using my icons, PLEASE LET ME KNOW.

Just leave a like or a comment of a fact about yourself to let me know you read it! SIDE BLOGS-- comment with what side blog(s) you have, so I know!

#rules

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mieczyhale · 4 years

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a messy explanation of things and unnecessary information about life lately

soooo... right. i’m sorry i haven’t really been around aside from popping in here and there, and that i’ve been taking longer than usual to reply to things / not replying to things at all. it’s NOT that i’m upset with anyone or trying to ignore / avoid anyone, and it’s not that i don’t care / don’t love talking to you (whomstever you may be) i love chatting with y’all and wish i could get myself to reply to things quicker but i do not control the me lmfao honestly my sleep has never had a schedule but in recent weeks it’s kinda been operating like there’s a lil gremlin in my head who spins a wheel and picks my sleeping times at random - and it’s either like.. two hours or most of a day. there hasn’t been a lot of in between so that’s a thing!!

also in a fun added mix of maybe sleep?, missing meds, being stuck in the house more often than not, and the FUCKING EVERYTHING happening in the world right now my mental health is... probably run by the same goblin that runs my sleep schedule lmao consistency whomst?? since the lockdown started the depression has of course been around more but actually, worse than that, is how my anxiety - and by extension: my ocd - have really amped up and i need y’all to know that the struggle is painfully real (and another thing that affects shit like my replies and writing. reading as well. fics have been kinda stressful and that should be illegal. who authorized this?) i don’t hate talking about it but i don’t really like it either?? especially like.. in depth. but i will say there has been crying, screaming, pain!, and i’ve acquired a few physical injuries.

yeah

on a personal level - a ‘just me’ level - shit is an even bigger mess than usual lmao but all these things will get better eventually - they always do.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

NOW

ON A PERSONAL LEVEL - THE FULL LEVEL - THINGS.... are pretty great actually! i mean aside from the state of my fucking house e__e but Josh has been working from home for two (2) months now and it’s been really nice - people complaining about their partners being home?? can’t relate. yknow what?? i just might love that tall bastard even more from all this.fuck all y’all miserable fucks

we’ve been going out for drives and we’ve gone fishing and the only place i’ve gone too that’s re-opened is goodwill. because i require.. the shop. they do have a masks required rule! (at least at the one here) and, alongside that, the places we’ve gone that never closed (like grocery stores and the gas station and the hardware store) have social distancing rules and stuff in place which i love. can we keep social distancing after this is all over?? more things here in wisconsin are opening up and we might go to some. idk though. we also might not. either way its still a weird kind of exciting to see things opening back up?? even though i do think we’re not totally in the clear because most of our gov. sucks (our mayor tried to extend our stay-at-home order - keyword there is TRIED. we are the land of cheese, cows, and no fucking braincells for anyone)

having pets is obviously not a new thing for me but it’s still a thing. so it takes time and effort and energy and patience and love and a certain disregard for your own safety (claws. they really be as sharp as you think) so... it can be stressful, especially cuz we’ve had to keep them inside more as it gets hot out and something keeps breaking our porch screens (our cats are allowed onto our screened in porch or they can go out in a harness but we will never let them run free outside. fuck that noise) my bbies are all so cute and their personalities and idiosyncrasies are just... *chefs kiss* i love em and they’re definitely a part of what has made quarantine better

i’ve seen my mom a few times, like for my birthday and when she needed help moving Isaiah from one dorm to another and such, but that’s primarily been an option because she has become anti-mask and anti-stay-at-home-order. initially she wasn’t - she gave Isaiah and i fun lil masks since at that time trying to buy them would be impossible and she thought nothing of staying home - but i guess either as its dragged on or as she’s consumed her middle-right wing news that changed s o. she does take social distancing in public very seriously though, so at least there’s that. our favorite coffee shop, where we - pre-lockdown - always went one (1) or two (2) times a week to do art for hours re-opens on monday and that’s one of the few things i’ve truly missed.

josh’s camping trip for this weekend with his friends had to be cancelled because the parks weren’t going to open in time. so today they’re going somewhere to do at least some of the things they would have done if they had gone camping. bikes, bonfires, and cigars. i’m kinda jealous negl but he was really excited about it so mostly i’m happy

trying to figure out how human services was running things during lockdown was rough but thankfully it didn’t take much to get it sorted. mostly because my mom made the phone call i was supposed to lol (the phone anxiety is on its own level) so wednesday afternoon my mom sat with me while i had the appointment with my psychiatrist over speakerphone (which was.. an experience)

ummm.....

OH YEAH! Probably absolutely my favorite thing that’s happened is: WE’RE STARTING THE SEARCH FOR A NEW HOUSE!!!! it doesn’t mean we’re gonna be moving soon or anything, we don’t want to make the same mistake twice (buying the first house you tour that you love) because while it is a great house ultimately it is way too small for us. i mean there’s me and josh, all six cats, and ALL OUR SHIT. listen: i have an entire room dedicated to my various hobbies. and a walk in closet that isn’t big enough. and we both have collections we love and want to display (right now upstairs its hello kitty and downstairs its astronomy and the titanic. and then there’s pop figures, mtg, collectibles, our bottle collection and various knickknacks, etc.) plus all our books! then furniture and cat furniture (i.e towers) and all their shit because they are spoiled babies. and god forbid we ever have a human kid?? yeah. it’s just not big enough.

so we’re gonna take more time with this choice but what we do know is:: we wanna live out in the country (i’m paranoid and don’t like to be looked at and he loves the outdoors, lived on a farm for awhile. i also enjoy the outdoors but mostly since we moved into this house i’ve struggled with doing anything outside... while we only have one neighbor on our road. but there’s one across the road and one at the other side of our backyard and that’s just too much lol)

lets see.. um.... my birthday was may 2nd and that was pretty nice, for a pandemic birthday. there’s been a lot of stuff happening involving josh’s family but that’s not something i really wanna get into on here, tho i will say things have been better in recent weeks and it’s been... really nice. josh and i went to his mom’s house the other night and got drunk with her for fun and i actually had a really good time?? and didn’t complain about going?? that’s kinda unheard of.

i don’t have a job anymore - haven’t since early march-ish - and it kinda sucks but also the universe really did me a solid because my choices were either allow myself to work until i have a mental break again or quit. and i was leaning towards quitting (things had been going down hill with the owner and other employees and just the business as a whole for awhile and there’s a limit to the amount of bullshit i can take thanks) but now it doesn’t seem i have to. why do i think i’m jobless? i was barely working anyway, bc of the snow business was slow, and in march i got really sick and stayed home for a week. the day i was supposed to go back i was still sick, and covid19 was starting to become more of a serious situation everywhere, so josh called in for me and explained that between still being sick and my anxiety over covid (asthma + a not so great immune system) i wasn’t going in that day. i never heard from them again. so.

but it’s all good - there are some options but i’m not looking into them seriously until it’s safe to.

THAT’S ALL OF FUCKING THAT ON THAT

i felt it wouldn’t be a bad idea to come on here and explain A. what’s been going on and B. where i’ve been and C. that if i haven’t responded to you or acknowledged something you sent me / tagged me in it’s literally just because i either forgot to (for all reasons and none) or i don’t have the mental space / energy to. but that doesn’t mean you have to stop talking to me! even if i don’t respond or respond immediately i do read everything and i would die for any one of you fuckers (especially my clowns and the tom hardy movie)

oh! and just btw - sometimes i don’t get notifications (quelle surprise) tumblr and skype should really pair up and talk about their truly great systems that function so well /s 8| ANYWAY: the best and most reliable ways to get my attention are twitter ( @/mieczyhale) and discord (same name) because i have yet to see their notifications fail. ahem.

i feel like i’m missing things / forgetting things but honestly this post is long enough and also enough of a rambley mess that i’m just gonna try and ignore that feeling and carry on with my goddamn day so i might actually accomplish something. sorry if there’s spelling off or missing words. i’m not taking the time to re-read this and might even delete it bc it’s already giving me anxiety bUT WE’LL SEE ALRIGHT HI AND BYE I LOVE YOU GUYS <3

#might delete later?? probably?? havent decided.#maison speaks #tinysquidrachel

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comicteaparty · 4 years

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May 9th-May 15th, 2020 Creator Babble Archive

The archive for the Creator Babble chat that occurred from May 9th, 2020 to May 15th, 2020. The chat focused on the following question:

What experiences do you have related to contests for comics, and do you find them worthwhile?

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

:0 what a relevant question(edited)

shadowhood (SunnyxRain)

Funnily enough, I was going to enter this year’s WEBTOON competition, but I decided to focus on my webcomic instead. I still have concept art of my original idea (based off of Russian folklore) that I might draw one day, but it was fun drawing it.

I decided instead to just support the friends and fellow artists I know who entered the contest. It’s nice to see their hard work pay off.

chalcara [Nyx+Nyssa]

I usually had either no time or no interest in a particular contest, so I have no clue. The only time I had both you needed to give up your copyright to enter, and thus I found it more worthwhile to put the effort into my own art and the dayjob.

LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)

I’ve never submitted to a contest I’ve considered submitting my existing work for various contests/awards, but in the end I always decide my story just isn’t far enough along yet to justify it. And my brain isn’t buzzy enough to create an original short story for something like the Webtoon one, so I’m out on that. I did get nominated for an award that turned into a voting contest anyway, but the winners were going to be practically guaranteed based on existing popularity, so... it was a nice gesture without any real chance of success. But it was cool to be up there with some heavy hitters. I dunno. Maybe one day I’ll feel more comfortable with the idea, once I feel like I’ve earned the chance

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

Not webcomic related, but back in 5th grade, there was this shounen jump-like Korean magazine that I was reading. One day, they announced a contest with the first and second place winners being offered a chance to serialize their own thing. While I had been doodling my own comics before that point, that was the first time it occurred to me: hey, I could be doing this like a pro. I could be a pro. So I tried to make my own entry for that contest. I never finished it, nor did I, in retrospect, stand a chance. But it was an eye-opener: my work could be taken seriously, could be seen by others. It was a possibility! I was going through a less than ideal time in my life at the time, too. Nothing super bad or abusive, just unstable/unpredictable, left me no headspace for a 5th grade kid to dream of the future. So it was pretty meaningful to have that kind of eye-opening excitement about possibilities/ future/ change.

I no longer want to go pro. I don't think I can deal with the emotional burden of relying on audience reception for income. But it was a good phase to go through.

DanitheCarutor

For comics it's never crossed my mind to submit anything for a contest, the prizes never catch my interest since I'd rather just buy something if I want it. I'm not much of a competitive person in general, if I do get like that it's usually for something fun that doesn't require as much stress, time and resources as art. (like sports or video games) A while back I saw two contests to win a digital drawing tablet, it was getting a lot of hype in the webcomic Twitter community, but I already have a tablet and almost never use it so the contests were kind of pointless for me. Even if the tablets were those fancy screen tablets you draw directly on. Not comic related, but when I was a teen I hung out on Gaia Online almost all day and partook in the art contests there to win items and gold. Drawing was just some fun thing back then since I didn't have to worry about cost of materials or the value of my time, so I indulged in those contests often. My mom used to get really mad at me wasting my "talent" and resources pretty much for free. Lol I still have all the avie drawings saved on my computer.

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

Yeah, Gaia contests were fun that way

Joichi [Hybrid Dolls]

Speaking of contest, I did participate in an illustration fan contest for ADV (when it was still around), I found it while I was still a small Deviantart artist. I don't have strong hope of winning but when I did, my school kid self was excited. My work was appreciated and I made art for a series I loved. I felt a little victory. :) It's easier to draw for a fan series than make up an original that has obstacles stacked against me. But I might try to participate in a comic contest one day(edited)

DanitheCarutor

@keii’ii (Heart of Keol) Fff Gaia was such a low stress site, I loved hanging out there. Getting those monthly special items was a while event.

carcarchu

I agree dani, i have never understood the point of art contests where the prize is tablet. what do you think they're drawing on to enter it??

DanitheCarutor

I think a lot of the people who do have contests for art supplies like that have sponsorships, but they're pretty pointless if you're good with what you got... and you just don't like competing in general.

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

It probably makes more sense with traditional media supplies since you run out of them all the time. But tablets... yeah

mariah (rainy day dreams)

I had kind of a similar early experience with contests as keii'ii. Went I was a kiddo, Tokyo Pop still existed and had their rising stars of manga contest. Seeing other Americans being published like that really took me from "I love these comics and drawing fan art and ocs for them" to "I could write my own stories with my own characters and other kids could buy them at the store and be inspired." My adult experience with contest had mostly been that they're a one way a good way to feel heart broken for a while X') I've got a lot of perfectionist tendencies, so loosing always feels really bad. Maybe also because I take a lot of pride in my work and I want to be recognized for it. And I think maybe winning a contest is kind of an easier way of feeling accomplished than a followed count or monthly site statistics? I'm not sure XD also it would just be cool to be able to tell people I'm an award winning comic artist XDXD Dealing with rejection/not winning is definitely something I've gotten better at. I'm hoping to make a small submission for that shonen jump contest that got posted here a few days ago. Not cuz I think I'll probably win anything, but it feel like a neat thing to do for myself. But also... Always got that secret hope of what if I did haha! XD

DanitheCarutor

@keii’ii (Heart of Keol) In a way it's kind of redundant though? If you think about it you're using up your resources to get more, which would probably just be enough to refill the stock you used for the contest with a little extra. (depending on how much work you put into the illustration/comic) Unless the contest was for a year supply of 'X' you don't get much out of it. xP I can also see the tablet contest being good for people who can't afford to get one, or can't afford to upgrade if theirs is broken down and old, but yeah. It's not super useful if you already have a good functioning one. I know for some contests it's also the bragging rights, or some credibility when you're trying to get art/comic jobs, but it's just not my thing.

Joichi [Hybrid Dolls]

Aww I understand how you feel @mariah (rainy day dreams) you describe the same emotion I felt trying to enter comic submissions, wanting that chance to get it noticed and picked up. Yeah as long as you give it a try, at least a story is made!

#ctparchive #comics #webcomics #indie comics #comic chat #comic discussion #comic tea party #ctp #creator interview #comic creator interview #creator babble

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kokoro-no-kizuna · 4 years

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Mobile Friendly Rules (Read Before Interacting)

THESE ARE JUST A FEW GENERAL THINGS I FEEL ARE IMPORTANT TO BE ADDRESSED BEFORE I GO ANY FURTHER, SO PLEASE TAKE THE TIME TO READ THEM.

I know they seem long but some of it is also just information I thought was important for you to know before interacting with me. And a lot of it is generic stuff too but please still read anyway.

- ★ First and most important thing is that the mun has a very serious cannibalism trigger, which includes ANY form of people being eaten (including animals or monsters or any such other creatures eating people). (Excluding vampires, as that doesn’t typically involve the eating of human flesh, and rather simply blood itself. Zombies however, are included). As such, please tag all SNK or Hannibal related posts, especially with such things in them, but even the ones without such scenes in them, due to the fact that these two shows/fandoms are the reason I learned I have this trigger, and so the entire thing now can cause my trigger due to association, and memory connection to it. Also I ask that you tag any other shows/fandoms/gifs with such things in them as well. Please and thank you very much. My blacklisted tags are: SNK, Shingeki No Kyojin, Attack On Titan, AoT, tokyo ghoul, tg, Hannibal, Cannibalism, tw: cannibalism, twd, the walking dead, walking dead, zombies, and hunting trophies. Any form of these (capitalization does not matter, however spaces do) will be caught by my blacklist, so I would appreciate it if you’d use one of these for those posts. Also suggestions for other possible blacklist tags that I may have forgotten are much appreciated. Also as an added note, I will not follow, RP with, or associate in ANY WAY, any blogs that have to do with my triggers. (Multi-muse blogs can sometimes be okay, this more applies to blogs that post SPECIFICALLY about the fandoms that trigger me). If you are a multi-muse blog that has characters from these fandoms, all I ask is that you be sure to tag them with the fandom they are from, with one of the tags in my list, and tag any of the triggers. We’ll be perfectly fine if you do!

- Secondly, I am not here just to to roleplay smut. I WILL do so if I feel like it and if the roleplay goes that direction after building up the relationship, however I am not here for that. I do prefer however if our smut RPs are placed under a read more, if at all possible. I will not RP smut with underage muns however. Underage muses, depending on the age (and if our muses are close to the same age, eg: Both our muses are 16, cuz teenagers do things, as much as we might dislike the fact they do, and no matter how much we wish they wouldn’t) I may still write it. It’s very dependent on the particular muses. I will not RP smut with a muse that is 18 or over, and a muse that is underage. I will not RP smut with muses that are legitimate children (14 and under). However despite my willingness to write it, it doesn’t mean that it will happen if the other mun is not comfortable with. I don’t force it. I don’t need it. I just basically accept that that kind of stuff happens, and it’s a very realistic thing. My nsfw tag is #n;sfw so you are aware, because the original nsfw tag doesn’t work as well anymore.

- ★ I am autistic. I know I don’t seem like it at first, and sometimes it’s hard to tell, however I am, and I also have ADHD, and it does affect the way my mind works with things. Sometimes having things done certain ways makes all the difference between if I can do something or if I can’t. If it sounds like I want to do something, but seem to struggle with figuring out how, please feel free to make suggestions, or start the thing yourself! It’s actually REALLY helpful when I get stuck. My being autistic can also affect who I can roleplay with, and how I roleplay, and how I think. Please keep this in mind, and try to be understanding. If something bothers you, or you don’t understand something, just ask me! I’ll do my best to explain, or fix it.

- Though it may not always seem like it, I am VERY shy and awkward. I’m actually legitimately terrified of new people, and trying to talk to people I haven’t spoken to before, or very much yet, almost makes me feel like I’m going to have a panic attack. If you want to RP with me, please message me! Chances are I’d LOVE to chat with you and RP with you, I’m just too terrified to talk to you.

- I struggle with chronic depression, and sometimes I may disappear for a while if I have a spell that gets particularly bad. Please be patient with me, as I will never forget about you and will always return. Also since it needs to be said, I also have EXTREME, doctor diagnosed anxiety. Sometimes it gets the better of me. Same with depression. Sometimes I have bad days. So I vent, and get frustrated with things. Little things bother me a lot more than they would on a normal day. If you can’t handle that or are going to be a hypocrite about it then please just leave right now. I don’t need your negativity. I have enough unwanted of that in my head as it is, which I combat and fight against every day.

- I am a multiship/multiverse blog, however my muses will likely be very selective with shipping for the time being however I am still happy to discuss ships and will happily consider them. Also a note, that I will ship with multiples of the same character, if the mun of those blogs wishes to ship with me. I find each relationship is different, seeing as each mun plays their character a little differently.

- I will do crossovers sometimes with fandoms I am familiar with. Crossovers always depend on my mood and how well my muse can interact with a character, as well as how well I know the series the character is from. Please forgive me if I choose not to roleplay a specific crossover. I still like you, I promise. If you’re unsure if I know your fandom, just ask! I do know of a lot of fandoms, so there’s a good chance I might.

- I ship based on chemistry. Sometimes I can develop a ship quickly, especially if I know the other muse’s personality well, and know they will mesh well with mine. Other times, a ship takes time for me to develop. Please be understanding and patient with me on this.

- Do NOT under any circumstances, force a ship on me. I am usually quite good at expressing ships I am okay with, and it will usually show in my writing. If you are unsure if I ship something or not, feel free to send me a message and ask me. Most of my characters have their own way of showing interest in someone, however most are usually pretty clear in expressing it in some way. Sending memes for interaction is fine for anyone whether we have interacted or not, and I will usually reply to those, however do not force a ship on me outside of that. If one develops between our characters, then fine. However that is a MUTUAL thing, so I do not take kindly to someone just deciding something is a thing. If you want to try to build one between our characters, then go ahead. Just please show me respect. That is the biggest and most important thing with me, is respect.

- I will write anything from 1 liners to multi-paragraphs when I RP. I usually stick to 1 or two shortish paragraphs, and that tends to fluctuate or shrink depending on how much information is needed to describe a scene. If we start out with a shorter paragraph, and I make a reply a fair bit longer, I will likely revert back to the shorter paragraph again within 1 or 2 replies. However you are welcome to write however you wish, just as long as you can give me something to go on. (A one liner in response to a 10 line paragraph for example, I will struggle to reply to.)

- I do not tolerate anon hate of any kind. Not towards myself, nor towards others. I will respond to it in a way that will make the sender feel rather like an idiot, and I am very smart and capable of doing so, so please be advised of that, if you intend to do so.

- I will RP more violent NSFW RPs, however ONLY as long as I am in the mood for them. Anything triggering will be tagged. The mun of this blog is (well) over 18.

- Apologies, but I absolutely WILL NOT RP with people who RP in first person. It is something I cannot stand and I just will not do it.

- ★ I am better at roleplaying ships with males (BoyxBoy/Yaoi/etc), due to being more familiar with it and having more experience with it ((as I myself am very very very gay, and also trans (which is where the issues with writing about female parts makes me very uncomfortable comes from) )). I may however attempt to ship romantically with female characters, since romantic ships I can do, but please keep in mind it is something I am not as good at or as comfortable with, so if in the end, I decide I am unable to do so, please be understanding of this. (Especially if smut is included in the ship. I cannot smut with female characters, sorry. I am well aware it’s dumb that my brain rebels to it but it doesn’t change the fact that it does.)

- I am slightly fickle about things I can reply to. I try very hard to reply to everything, however one thing I am not good at, is sudden changes in roleplays. As much as I hate to admit it, and try to pretend it isn’t true, and even though I am quite good at managing it most times, I am autistic, (high functioning form of autism) and that is one of the few issues I struggle with the most. If you sense a roleplay is changing directions, please hint at it to me in the tags or something the reply before it does, since even that small little hint can be enough to help keep me from having to drop an RP. Even if you are unsure if it will or not, letting me know that you think it MIGHT possibly happen (since we don’t control our characters) is a huge help to me. This particular issue is the main reason that 95% of my dropped threads end up dropped. And I always feel terrible when it happens, so please help me to get better at this.

- I can be slow sometimes (or often) with asks or replies. This usually happens because of my muse being fickle or me thinking a meme or ask prompt would be fun, however sometimes when I actually get them, my muse decides to just be like NOPE, or my depression kicks up and I lose all motivation. Also sometimes I tend to forget things, or leave stuff in my askbox to reply to later, and then I forget about it or get distracted. If this happens, I apologize. Please try to be understanding of this, since I will NEVER ignore you or your asks on purpose. (The only case where it would be ignored is if it is something stated in my rules that I cannot respond to, that you obviously failed to read or are attempting to do anyway.) I do reblog things with the INTENT to answer EVERYTHING that shows up in my inbox, however my intentions don’t always pan out.

Next topic of discussion.

Concerning OCs and shipping with them:

- I WILL NOT ship my muses with other OCs, unless they are extremely well developed. This is simply because unless I personally can form some form of an an emotional connection/understanding to/of a character, my own muse will be unable to do so as well.

- I am also very picky with RPing with other OCs, because of the same reason stated above. I will however roleplay with them sometimes, and do not in any way dislike them. I rather love OCs, and the diversity and color they bring to fandoms, and I actually have lots of OCs of my own for different fandoms, I just cannot always connect to them, and in those cases, I will not be able to roleplay with them. I apologize. HOWEVER. If possible, I will happily do platonic RPs with OCs that my muses happen to click with.The types of characters/OCs I am usually unable to roleplay with, are the following, which includes a list of reasons why.

- ★ OCs that are not connected to any fandom in particular/Multifandom OCs. Basically as I like to call them, floaters or drifters. I may attempt to roleplay with these. It can still be iffy, because my brain can sometimes make stuff more difficult than it actually is or needs to be, and it depends on each particular OC, but as I have recently been developing a few fandomless OCs myself, I find my understanding of them has grown a bit. That said, sometimes I need to be able to connect them with something, as each fandom has a specific world to them. I need a consistent, solid world anchor to be able to understand the character, which drifters don’t have, so I can struggle to RP with them. I’m willing to try though! I believe this issue is connected to my being autistic, since certain things my brain just refuses to understand unless it is worded a certain way or done a certain way.

- OCs from fandoms I am unfamiliar with. If I don’t know what sort of world/background your character comes from, it leaves me guessing too much and confused. I have attempted to roleplay with them anyway in the past and it just doesn’t work.

- ★ Self insert OCs. Really. Please just no. I cannot stand self inserts above all else other than Shipper OCs. Admittedly, there are a rare few good ones out there. (And those are fine). However those tend to be very few and far between, and 98% of them tend to fall into the not so good category to put it nicely, and I just.. I can’t do it. There is nothing else to say to this except just NO. I apologize for this, however I just can’t. Also, this applies to FULLY self inserts. This does not apply to characters that simply share some traits with you, as often we roleplay a character because we can connect to them somehow.

- Canon Genderbends (there are exceptions sometimes with these). This subject is a touchy one, since my mind is very rigid unfortunately when it comes to how I view them. This might stem from my own personal gender struggle (as I am trans and FtM), however genderbends have always been something I have a lot of issues with, and so 98% of the time, I will not RP with them because I have to fight my mind to reply. Temporary genderswap M!A’s however, when handled properly, are no issue for me, and in such cases I will happily roleplay with them.

- OCs with very little backstory and information, or with a confusing one, or even with none at all. In essence, poorly made OCs. I need info to RP with you. At least seriously. So sorry. I need to be able to understand your character at least a little, since I don’t do good with “lets play a guessing game” or “I literally have no idea what I’m doing” or “what the hell is going on” sort of RPs, and I have never been good at them, and so I need clear, concise information on your character.

- Shipper OCs. The type of character I hate more than any other. If you made your OC just so you could ship with a bunch of people and that is the only purpose for their existence, do not even talk to me, or approach my character. Don’t even try. I literally cannot stand these types, and they fall right up there with my hatred of self inserts. So sorry. But just no. This doesn’t mean I ship shame if your muse happens to end up in lots of ships. That’s fine. It happens. I know the feeling when muses just click with lots of other muses. Sometimes it’s like that. But if their ONLY purpose for existing, is just so you can ship with endless characters, please go away right now.

- Canonically unknown family member OCs. Whether it’s a sibling for my character or for someone else’s that was never mentioned in canon, I just can’t. (If you want to RP a family member of my character that I have mentioned in my character’s info, please ask me beforehand as I usually have an idea already of what their family member is like, but usually I will be okay with that as long as you ask me first before just going ahead and doing it.) I’ve never been able to RP with them, for a multitude of reasons, one of the main being they often end up reminding me of self inserts or genderbends. I have been unsuccessful at breaking this way of thinking towards them despite attempting to many times, and so I just cannot do it, personally. I am sorry.

Those are all the ones I can think of right now. I am very sorry to anyone who has one of these and wants to RP with me, however I simply cannot do it, personally. I’m sure there are plenty of other people out there though who would love to RP with you even though I cannot, and just because I will not RP with you doesn’t mean I dislike you or your character. I’d be happy to still be friends with you, I just won’t be able to RP with you. I’m someone who needs to be able to connect to the character I am roleplaying with on at least SOME level, for my character to be able to connect to them as well, so if I am unable to do that then I am unable to roleplay with them. (This can include as well, the WAY someone roleplays, since if there is no emotion or thought or description in replies, it gives me nothing to go on and connect to, and leaves me unable to respond, even if I WANT to RP with you.)

★ I hate to have to do this, however I have had A LOT of trouble with people not reading and following my rules in the past, and or speaking about or talking about/not tagging my major trigger, so if you have read my rules, please inbox or IM me with “Catshark”. I ask this of people because it also helps a lot with my anxiety, and keeps me from wondering and worrying in the back of my mind if I might actually get triggered by something. I know it can be tedious to do this extra step, and I hate that I even had to add this step in the first place, however after years of roleplaying, and dealing with people, it became necessary due to several bad past experiences in tumblr fandoms. It was not added on a whim, so please take the time to do so.

There may be more added to this later if I think of something. Thank you for taking the time to read this.

#mobile friendly rules post #blog rules

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transboygenius · 5 years

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SE4SON: Chapter 21

Mitzi was at the market, shopping for any necessities her family, and the farm animals, needed to live on for a whole month. She wasn't halfway through the list yet. It was difficult working under a budget, especially with prices like these to bear with. The cheapest deals came in bruised, damaged, or ready to go bad. You can already guess what deals Mitzi went for. Pretty soon the basket will get heavy, and it's a shame Diana didn't came along with her. Speaking of Diana, where has she and the others gone to with those strange boys? Just as Mitzi continued with her shopping, she ran into a strange man wearing a black trench coat and a feathered hat. The man opened his coat to reveal items hidden.

"Pssssssst. Mistress. May I interest you in some optical instruments? For only 5 pence, one of these lovely specimen could take thee on a trip to the solar system where the big dipper awaits. Or you could catch a glimpse of what life dwells outside of these walls from thy bedroom window." Said the salesman. "Thank you, young sir, but your price is far too rich for my blood. And if I wanted to see something up close, I could just walk up to it."

Suddenly, a carriage came speeding by and everyone quickly jumped out of the way, including Mitzi.

"Gangway, peasants! Prisoners in the King's custody!"

Mitzi got up, and started picking up the groceries the carriage made her drop, while cursing under her breath. Then a thought occurred to her. She could've sworn she witnessed something recognizable in the back of that carriage. As Mitzi seized a telescope from the salesman, she looked fixedly into it. Her hunch was right, but she wished it wasn't. Diana was still as a statue. Rodent Girl was muzzled and shackled. Benson was fearing for his life. Some little girl was trapped in a cage. Jimmy and Nick were chained together, also dressed like a wizard and knight. The expression on Jimmy's face looked to be he was angry at something. Or someone. He was even yelling, though Mitzi couldn't hear nor read his lips. Then, she saw King Jason, who was repeatedly kissing this valuable amulet around his neck.

"Uh, Miss? You're gonna purchase that or what?"

Mitzi tossed the telescope back to the salesman, and decided to follow the carriage.

...............................

[*Back in modern time*]

The squad was still putting together the time machine, piece by piece. Well, mostly the adults, and Goddard, did all the work. Libby was reading through a fashion magazine. Sheen watched numerous conspiracy theory videos on his phone. They wanted to help at first, but it seemed like the grown-ups had everything on hand. Carl, however, served the squad refreshments. He came out of the house with a tray, which held pink lemonade and cookies. The allergy boy served his friends first, then Judy. Instead of drinking the lemonade, Judy used the whole pitcher to drench herself. Through Carl's point of view, the image was more sultry. The scene played in slow motion. From the beverage cascading down like a waterfall, to the sunset glistening on Judy's beautiful frame. Mrs. Dean looked at Carl, absolutely disturbed.

"Oh, Butter Biscuit!" Hollered Hugh. "What is it, Hugh?" Asked Judy. "After we finish assembling the parts on this, thingumabob-thingumajig-kajigger, what's say we pay the prehistoric era a call? Let's hope they'll be home to answer it, though. *RING RING!* Hah hah hah hah hah!" "Do you believe Jimmy might be there?! Oh, dear." "Nnnnnnnnnnoo, frankly. I just wanted to see if I could shoot myself a photograph of the rare bullockornis planei for my duck-lovers blogspot! We call them the demon ducks of DOOOOOM!" "Hugh: Our son's life is riding on it, and all you can think of at this moment is your stupid ducks! The poor little boy is probably lost out there, suffering, and confused! He must be pining for the warmth of his family about now! So, after Jimmy has been found, then you can let yourself get eaten by dinosaurs!"

Mrs. Dean and Hugh were thrown back by Judy's sassy personality.

"That's some woman you got there." Mrs. Dean whispered to Hugh. "Tell me about it. You think I only married her for her looks?" Hugh whispered back.

Elsewhere, Cindy watched everything from out her window, before shutting the blinds. Everyone is putting their best effort to bring Jimmy and Nick back, and here she is, shutting herself in her bedroom. She has nothing to do but eat junk food, watch TV, and continuously refresh her Cheeper account to see if she got any new re-chirps. Even if Libby is just sitting around while reading a magazine, she looks like she's having more fun than Cindy, because she's in the presence of friends. She at least has an adoring company surrounding her, not to mention someone to share chats with. There, Cindy's inferiority complex began to kick in. How dare that traitor think she can have more fun than me? Cindy looked over to her sleeping dog, then had an idea. She went under her bed and reached for Humphrey's favorite bone. Dogs can be much better friends than humans.

"FETCH, HUMPHREY!"

The bone bounced off of the bulldog's head, waking him up abruptly. Humphrey looked at the bone, which was six feet far from him. Instead of retrieving the item to his owner, Humphrey just yawned, and fallen back into his slumber.

"Aw, you're not as productive as you used to."

................................

[*Back in medieval*]

Everyone sat helpless in their cell. Benson was clattering a metal mug against the bars. Rodent Girl was chatting with a rat. Diana was punching the wall, and she's been doing it for about 30 minutes. Jason used his powers to turn the cell indestructible to Diana's strength, but she was determined to find a weak spot eventually. Jimmy and Nick sat with their heads hanging low, while Sally besides them played a harmonica. Jimmy can't help but feel guilty for landing his new friends in hot water. The plan Jimmy discussed with Sally earlier, about turning the tables on Jason in case he decides to double-cross, had actually been a lie. He had no plan for that from the start. Jimmy didn't suspect that King Jason would try to betray them, because the boy genius thought he was capable of changing him.

Jimmy was confident enough to believe that he could manipulate the king, despite his friends claiming they knew him more. Hell, they live in the same town with this tyrant. The boy genius was arrogant in himself as usual. He always had a knack for shrugging off voices of reason. Just because he won every science fair (not counting this year's), just because he has the highest grades in school, just because he successfully saved Retroville and possibly the whole world from countless mayhem, he automatically assumes he's smarter than anyone with experience. Jimmy recalled a year back, in fourth grade, where he wanted to drain his own genius for everyone's sake, because this is what his brain gets people into. Worse, he dragged his best friend, Nick, into a mission he wanted no part in.

"Gee. I'm awfully sorry, everyone! Especially you, Nick. All the blame goes on me!" Said Jimmy.

Rodent Girl was about to give a rude remark to the boy genius, before Diana covered her mouth.

"Hey. It's okay, bruh. Don't beat yourself up. You at least tried your best." Nick provided comfort to his friend. "Where's a reason that I shouldn't beat myself up? I cost Butterscotch his life, got ourselves imprisoned, and possibly endangered the whole village by letting the king take hold of the amulet! Worse: We'll never see our families again." Jimmy continued to doubt himself. "But you didn't know! It's not your fault your brain couldn't predict the obvious!" "Thanks for pointing that out. I'm stupid. I have now lost the right to use the 'Boy Genius' title." "No, I did not mean it like that! C'mon, Jimmy!" "I know you're trying to be supportive and all, but you can't deny that it's true." "It's not true! I deny it! I deny it! You were just doing... ...what your gut was telling you to do!" "I think Nick is right, chum! We knew King Jason for years now! You two hardly knew him at all, so ya can't blame someone for being naive!" Said Diana. "And it didn't help the conclusion that the king manipulated you with kindness in your first encounter!" Added Benson. "In the earlier two chapters of my first and second appearance, I used to address myself by 'me' instead of 'I.' Somehow, I just don't anymore. Strange, ain't it?" Also added Rodent Girl, which only confused everyone. "No need to help me recoup, gang. After all, Butterscotch's demise was all my responsibility." Exclaimed Jimmy. "That's nothing to feel responsible for! Jason was the one who was responsible. He knew the bridge was unstable! To add insult to injury, he pushed the buttons on a sensitive, kind horse! *Starts to tear up* I'm gonna miss that old lug. But that's okay. I'm now sooner to meeting him again." Said Diana. "Why all the forgiveness? I clearly don't deserve it! The gallows are right around the corner, all because of me!" "It's like your friend said! You didn't know! You only wanted to do what was best for us! You two have been good, modest friends, so I can't help not being angry at you! Especially over a mistake! The way you held onto your hope, stirred forward with obstinacy, kinda reminded me of myself during my youth. You know, before I went swole." "Although we've never communicated much, I'd like to pay some blessings to thee. You gents never ridiculed me, or did insult me, for my own way of expressing masculinity. Every other man that I've met aren't hesitant to profane my selfhood. Even father." Quote Benson. "You guys were very nice to us, I guess. And, I've never had a human friend before. Kids never stick around to play with me cuz they always run away whenever I bring out the rats. Most of them just run away from looking at me." Rodent Girl gave her part. "Whether or not you guys may be the legendary Wise Wizard or Silver Knight, which I still doubt that you aren't, you guys are pretty neat, and I'm glad that I've met you." Said Sally. "Look, Jimmy. Mistakes are a healthy part of growing up. You make a mistake, learn from what you've done wrong, and improve it. The more you improve, the better it gets. Trust me, as a young cook, I made a fair share of mistakes in the past." Nick attempted to cheer up the boy genius. "C'mon, gang! Group hug!" Shouted Diana.

Jimmy declined at first, but it was too late. Unfortunately, just like with Mitzi, Diana put in little strength. It was actually quite joyous, getting hug by the people you love. After the group hug was over, Jimmy looked at everyone. In spite of his mistake, they were all understanding. Understanding and naive. They're about to die in the following day, and King Jason might wreak havoc on the whole village. On the up side, Jimmy hasn't felt the purity of friendship in so long. Him, Sheen, and Carl were like this, way before Jimmy spent more time hitting the lab. Why does it have to end this way? He never had the chance to apologize. If any of them start to grow any sense, they'll come to realize how much of a jerk he's been. And Nick... In case this does turn out to be their final hours together...

"Everyone, may I propose a very important promulgation?" Said Jimmy. "All of you are such wonderful people. Each special in your own ways. The whole kingdom may look down on you, but that's because they never took the time to see your full potential. Diana, your strong and full of heart! Benson, you take pride of what you are and what you do! I envy that! Except for the whole eavesdropping gig. Rodent Girl, I'm surprised you don't have any friends! You're only one of the most funnest human beings (or whatever you might be) I've ever hung out with! Sally... Thanks for letting me know about this Wise Wizard and Silver Knight. Actually learned a lot from them, thanks to your father's logs. N-no, don't get the wrong idea that, POOF, I've suddenly 'regained my memory back.' I love you all so very much! There's no where I'd rather be than to spend my last day with you guys! And speaking of love..."

Jimmy turned to Nick.

"I haven't forgotten you. May I tell you something?" Asked Jimmy. "I was gonna tell you something. Something that's very, very personal to me, and now I may finally get it off my chest. But it can wait. Proceed." Replied Nick. "Okay... *Sighs* Nick, ever since you let out the real you, my whole life just lit up. All this time, I've been admired by the formally most popular guy in school and didn't know! We could've been good best friends then. Of course, I can understand your insecurity. I've never met a guy like you before. It's... ...hard to believe you've been hiding this from me!" "That's not all I've been hiding." "What?" "Nothing! Go on!" "*AHEM* As I was saying, you and me seem to find comfort in each other. We agree on the same mindset level. Me and Carl couldn't connect this way. Or Sheen. Or Cindy. You're very honest. Although you may be overdoing it, nobody has shown me that much care other than my own parents. I really appreciate it. And thanks to you, I have rediscovered pure friendship." "*Blushes* Don't mention it." "You're the bestest of best friends I've ever had! But..." "Oh no, not the 'but.'" "This may come as a shock to you. Lately, I've been having these certain feelings that I've yet had trouble summarizing. As a matter of fact, even if I was sure I knew how I was feeling, I was too scared to stomach it. We live in a society, where we're never exposed to this kind of stuff. We've only been raised on the 'default.' I didn't think this stuff would happen to me. Then, a tale of two valiant heroes have shown me that it is possible, and normal as well. They've taught me something a genius like me didn't know." "Huh? Huh?! (Could this mean what I think it means?!)" "*Gulps down* Nick, I... I, I... I..."

Rodent Girl suddenly interrupted.

"I SEE A RABBIT!"

Everyone turned their attention to what Rodent Girl was pointing at. There was that same white rabbit again. Nobody found that exciting, until it began picking up the ring of keys with its mouth. Nick groaned in disappointment. He was looking forward to hearing the rest of Jimmy's confession. The rabbit, holding onto the keys, jumped off the wooden desk. Everyone beckoned for the rabbit's attention, expanding their arms outside of the cell. The rabbit just sat at a far distance, staring at them. Jimmy suspected that they needed to lure the rabbit in to grab the keys. Luckily, Rodent Girl happened to smuggle some food. First, she pulled out a piece of cheese, but the rabbit just backed away from the stench. She tried a piece of meat, but Jimmy pointed out that rabbits are vegetarians. That gave Rodent Girl an idea, and she pulled out a leaf of lettuce. This time, Jimmy wanted to bait the bunny.

"Hey there, Cottontail. Remember me? Now, you look like you could use a snack."

The lettuce was working. The rabbit took its time, and hopped towards the vegetable. As the rabbit got closer, it was soon standing over a floor drain. That fluffy creature began to sniff the lettuce. Jimmy planned to grab the key after the rabbit goes for the leaf. On that spur of the moment, a loud sound entered the dungeon, which startled everyone, including the rabbit. In shock, it dropped the keys and they fell into the drain. There goes their chance to escape. The rabbit hopped out of the scene to get away from whatever disturbance it just heard. Nick patted Jimmy on the back as comfort.

"Well, that was far by a long shot. At least we all have each other!" Said Jimmy. "If only we had told Mitzi. It isn't a family without her." Quote Diana. "Hey, I think our time might be up!" Screamed Rodent Girl. "No it ain't! Our penalty doesn't start till tomorrow!" Replied Nick. "Then why do I see DEATH approaching us?!"

An ominous looking visitor, wearing a black cloak with the hood over their head, was walking towards their cell. Rodent Girl quickly scurried behind Diana for protection. Benson also went behind Diana. Jimmy, Nick, and Sally just stood frozen, with their hands gripping the bars tightly. The two young boys didn't believe that was Death, but they are curious about this unknown stranger. Rodent Girl peeked from behind Diana, then let out a whaling scream. The visitor then uncovered their hood.

"Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!"

It was Mitzi in disguise. Nick was not pleased.

"Mitzi?" Spoke Diana. "Fancy meeting you here. You came to rescue us, or to gloat in me and my friend's face cuz you have substantial proof that we're 'bad people?'" Asked Nick. "What does it look like?" Also asked Mitzi. "Looks like you wanna gloat." "This isn't what you think it is, Mitzi! We have a perfectly good alibi behind-" Said Jimmy, before Mitzi cut him off. "No need for an explanation, young man! I can plainly see what's going on here."

Jimmy put on an expression that was a mix between concern and sadness.

"You were planning to conquer the king! It's a shame you didn't invite me." Said Mitzi. "Huh- How could you tell?" Asked Jimmy. "Well, it must be the story behind why you're locked up down here in the dungeon. Look, I'm not very informed about demons and their history, primarily because all I want to do is forget about them, but I know for a fact that Jason seems like the type of gent who would be good friends with these creeps. Judging by your current situation, it don't look to me like you're his friends at all. Jason is as close to a demon. Whatever you did, I wilt admit: That was quaint noble of you boys."

Rodent Girl was about to explain what really happened, but Diana shut her mouth closed once again.

"Does that mean we're off the hook?" Asked Nick. "I think... Why the hell not? Being upset with you has gone exhausting anyways."

Jimmy then let out a slight smile. Sally stuck her hand outside of the cell to shake with Mitzi.

"Hi, I'm Sally!" Greeted Sally. "I'm Mitzi. Nice to meet you."

Now Mitzi was ready to free them. Unfortunately, she couldn't find the keys to the cell.

"What happened to the keys?" Asked Mitzi. "Apparently, there's somebunny who hates us very much." Replied Nick. "Wait a minute. Hold on!"

Mitzi suddenly dashed off somewhere. Everyone hesitated in silence for a moment. Diana started whistling a tune. Benson continued to clatter his mug against the bars. The gang was waiting patiently for Mitzi's return.

"You were saying..." Said Nick. "Pardon?" Asked Jimmy. "I believe you were gonna tell me something." "Oh, oh, that! Hmmmmmm... I'm afraid I forgot what I was going to say. Sorry." "*Sighs* It's okay." "Keeping secrets again?" There was that familiar voice.

Mitzi was back, with a brand new key in her hand. Wow, that was fast! After she unlocked the cell, everyone ran out free. Rodent Girl even kissed the outside floor.

"Remember who was the best darn blacksmith for 12 years!" Mitzi bragged, while spinning the key around her finger. "It's good to see your spirit has returned, old friend!" Said Diana. "Not so fast! I believe you owe me and my friend something! We've been patient for it." Exclaimed Nick.

Jimmy and Nick were standing next to each other with their arms crossed.

"I-I already have! I freed you, didn't I?" Said Mitzi.

The two boys stayed in position, still not satisfied enough. It's obvious they want an apology.

"*Groans* OKAY. I am sorry! From the way I did treated you from the start, to making Oona watch you in your slumber, and destroying your device! You two were right! I should've have took the time to know you better and check your backgrounds! I am truly a fool." Mitzi finally apologized. "You made Rodent Girl do WHAT?" Yelped Diana.

Jimmy went up to Mitzi and shook hands with her, telling her that she is now off the hook. But as for Nick, he was still standing in place, with his arms crossed.

"What's wrong with your friend?" Asked Mitzi. "I think he wants a straight-forward opinion on his cooking." Replied Jimmy. "Alright! I'll say it! It's good! The damn best! I have never tasted such nourishing delight in years! It's like having dinner with God." "Okay we good." Nick was finally satisfied. "By the way; How were you able to stealth your way in? Isn't the king's facilities heavily guarded?" Questioned Jimmy. "Well, there was no one on post." Said Mitzi. "Really?" "Afraid so. No guards, no knights. The whole castle was unsecured for some reason, and the drawbridge was left opened." "That's strange. Where could everyone be at this hour?"

............................

Little did the Faithful Seven know, the king made the whole staff take a break to join him in this huge dinner celebration. There was enough food on the table to feed the whole village. They had entertainment involving female jesters in skimpy outfits. Even the table was expanded to invite more of his men. Nobody questioned the king's newfound powers. They just greedily stuffed themselves to their hearts' content. Any food that is gone from the table, the king conjured up some more. Jason then raised his glass to make a toast.

"To the young clods, and their misfit friends!"

Everyone repeated the king and raised their glasses as well.

"Uhhhh, your greatness? I-I thhinking I might've left, the drawbridge..." The bridgekeeper stuttered. "Relax! Have a drink! It's on the castle!" Said Jason, then conjured up a wooden jug of beer for him. "Sire?" Questioned Richard. "Hmmm?" "Now that you've successfully possessed the powers of the amulet, what do you plan to do next?" "Why, that's a good question! You see, I plan to use my newfound powers to make the world a place worthy of living in! There's plenty of space to take up!" "Space? What space?" "Oh, you know, the space those unwanted refugees have marked up! Pretty soon, they won't be a problem to us anymore!"

Jason handed Richard a map of around the world. With a point of his magical finger, the pictures started to move. The chancellor was quite amazed, and mesmerized by the moving images. Multiple castles, architectures, and gallow stands appeared in every place of the map. Then, the pretty sight took a turn for the ugly. Climate change was happening in every polar region. A sandstorm was blowing in Egypt. Floods occurred in Asian related regions. Multiple volcanoes rose from the ground. However, English related territories were left untouched. Jason is taking out many innocent lives and establishing a colony for his people. Richard felt uneasy about the king's new plan. He passed the map around to know what the others think. They all had the same reaction as him.

"Your greatness?" Asked a random knight. "Yeeeeeeeeeesssss?" "Are you sure this is all necessary?" "What kind of dumb question is that?" "You see, majestic one, I don't recall... Ehhhhhhhh ...human extinction involved." Spoke one of the guards. "Human extinction?! HUMAN EXTINCTION?! This is not humans we're talking about! I'm referring to those inferior, contemptible pests crawling all over our planet! They are far beyond in compare to real humans like us!" "It seems unfair, if you ask me." Said the royal painter. "Well, I didn't ask you!" "C'mon, your greatness. Don't you think your taking this a bit over the top? Sure, they might be different from us, but they live like us. Eat like us. Work jobs like us. They even have families of their own." "Fish have families! And so do dung beetles!” "I thought you wanted to make the world a better place! Their lives matter!" The royal taste tester spoke up. "SILENCE! It's not 'Their lives matter!' It's 'Every lives matter!'" "Yeah, your greatness, but other than that, you're bound to open up an apocalypse. I'm no physicist, but I don't think the Earth can hold that much physical force. They go down, and we 'Every lives' will go down with them." Quote one of the servants. "THAT WON'T HAPPEN TO US! I AM THE KING!"

The king's voice turned monstrous for a second, followed by a strike of lightning.

"Let's settle this like gentlemen! Who else is opposed to my brilliant proposition? All in favor, say I!"

Everybody, minus the cowardly Richard, all put their hands up and said "I." The king never felt so betrayed in his life.

"Ahhhhhhhhh! All of you are no longer of use to me anymore! You're fired! You ought to be hanged for disagreeing with the highest authority!" Barked Jason. "You can't just hang all of us! It's usually us who are commanded-" "ARE YOU UNDERESTIMATING MY POWERS?!"

The king's monstrous voice was back, and so was the lightning. Not only that, but his eyes turned a bloodish red color. As Jason snapped his fingers, the whole staff's necks where grabbed under nooses, then pulled upward into a painful choking hold. If that wasn't scary enough, the king's physical form began to change. He was also growing as well. Richard hid under the table and watched.

.............................

Back in the dungeon, Jimmy, Nick, and everyone else stood in place, while holding onto each other, as the ground started shaking. After the shaking was over, Jimmy suggested they not question about the occurrence and just move on.

"It's just an earthquake! Nothing to be alarmed up!" Said Jimmy. "Do you have these back at your world?" Asked Benson. "Well... No."

Pretty soon, the gang reached the main door that led to the stairway out of the dungeon. But, they promptly started to hear someone pounding on the other side. Everyone just stood their ground. The threat then got more serious as the person began to bust their way in, breaking down the door. Whoever it might be, they must be really strong. And not nice. The gang went behind Diana. The bulky woman put up her hands, ready to take on whatever comes out that door. Although she was secretly afraid. With one more pound, the stranger eventually broke down the door and sent it flying across the room. The first thing everyone saw was a bright glow illuminating.

This person didn't look like a person at all. It was more of an animal. The most beautiful sight they've ever seen. It appeared to be a white horse, a stallion maybe, with a matching white mane and tail. The rest of its features looked artificial. He had a pointy horn on the center of his forehead, his whole body was glowing and dazzled with glitter, there was a "tattoo" of an arrow impaling a red heart on his flank, and lastly, he was wearing eyeliner.

"Neeeeeiigghhhh! (Glad to see you guys again! Good thing I followed Mitzi!)"

However, the majestic horse looked somewhat familiar to Diana.

"Butterscotch?"

#Jimmy Neutron #Boy Genius #Nick Dean #Cindy Vortex #Libby Folfax #Sheen Estevez #Carl Wheezer #Season 4 #fanfic #romance #adventure #TVverse #TVEE

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incognitowetrust · 5 years

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I am a selfish person. Long incoherent rambling time.

There’s no way to get this out in a well written thing without taking fucking forever.

But it’s something that bothers me about myself. Actually, I just wrote a thing in a Discord chat, and I’m basically gonna copy-paste the damn thing because I don’t want to rewrite the whole thing. I’ll add a bit more on than the initial thing though.

I usually don't vent, but I'm just gonna do a small one because I feel like mentioning it to someone. A friend person I made recently is on the spectrum like me and around the same age, and she's nice and all, but I have the same problem with her that I've noticed I have with some other people, and it makes me feel awful and also annoys the fuck outta me. Her drawing style is pretty basic, and I'm happy to see people get excited about their characters but her characters aren't technically interesting, and she messages a lot and recently I did say "hey listen I'm not gonna reply to every message" because I like to be upfront about that shit just so people know... but anyway, it's hard to describe, but she falls into like a specific type of person that I can relate to and still have love for but I find myself wanting to avoid and I can't actually grow off of them.

Like... it's awful because it reminds me of when I was like ages 13-15 and actually learning social things that other people already knew just because of me lacking friendship experience and only just having made artist friends, and I cringe at my past self but understand it at the same time, and I have to be understanding towards people because I understand what it's like to be there, and I always want to be the person I needed when I was younger. But... I mean... is it selfish to pick and choose who I "like" based on standards like... "experience" and "skills"? I mean, I often haven't been brave enough to interact with "cool" people anyway, but... fuck, I wiiish that I couuuld be liike the coool, kidsss, like the coool kiiiids.

I wonder if some of my feelings relate all the way back to elementary school, I was often paired with this one autistic girl, who I didn't have anything against (though tbh she did have some gross habits and she was hard to talk to at a young age), she and I were always the slowest in PE, always the quiet lonely kids, always the kinda pudgy and awkward girls, and I guess I felt myself pushing away from her not because I didn't like her but because of my strong sense of wanting my own identity and didn't want to always be stuck with her "just 'cuz" she was the only partner who was left over when other kids made partners.

Something that I also wonder is, well, I have an older sibling on the spectrum, but diagnosed early. I was diagnosed at 18. My parents have always tried to be fair as far as making sure we both get the attention we needed, but still, I was pretty much the older sibling because for much of our childhoods my sister and I did everything together, and I was very protective of her. The only reason I have ever punched anyone was because someone stole her glasses and I punched the girl to get them back after trying to politely reason didn’t work. We were so close, but somewhere around puberty I started breaking off from her, I became more and more hungry for my own identity, and our interests and activities grew apart as well. At this point in my life, I don’t really chat with my sister much, or do a ton of sisterly activities with her, and I think I basically avoid her because I don’t want to get mad at her for stupid little pet peevey reasons. I admit, there’s some of me that resents that I’ve had to make sacrifices because of her, I could never hum or sing because of her sound sensitivity, and nowadays sometimes I have to be the one to receive a text to relay a message to my sister because she often either doesn’t notice texts, or doesn’t have her phone on at all. I remember in 2016 in the past, it was around the peak of a shitty time in my life, a school staff member came up and asked how my sister was doing and what she was doing. I was salty and grumpy, and basically said “I don’t know” and “I don’t really care” because I’m not her damn babysitter, and if it’s SO important to ya, lady, you can probably just email her. Though, oh yeah, my sis hadn’t always checked her emails either.

Look, I’m not gonna act like I don’t have my problematic quirks. I do take out garbage and vacuum, but I avoid problems even if I remember there’s something I’m supposed to do, and I procrastinate. It’s also very easy for me to forget or ignore something unless it’s right under my nose, but I admit, often it’s just me acting out of avoidance.

Something that I think I’ve developed is... I have a huge want to love and be loved in return, I want to take care of people and feel like I matter to someone, but on the other hand besides my mom and a few adults rocking pulling me through life I’ve kinda picked up on behaviors of “Other people have problems. They gotta be taken care of. I should help. I am lazy and not all that troubled anyway, so I don’t need to share my problems with others.” ... I want to take care of others and be a good listener, but I resent it at the same time. I resent that while I’m out trying to take care of people, I don’t feel like I can be vulnerable and let someone take care of me. Because I also don’t want to let myself be vulnerable and rely on someone enough so that if I made a “friend” and lost them that I’d be legit hurt.

I’m left with even more weird feelings about myself, remembering and considering things I know about my own family members now that I didn’t know the same about when I was young, like my mom, who I credit as being the most important person in my life, she’s the oldest of 5. She was really another parent. Look, I don’t care how close your family is, or how loving they are, when ya got a big family, the oldest child becomes another parent. And they lived in Saudi Arabia for a while, where at one point the family got in a bad car accident and my gramma was wheelchair bound and immobile, and though my mom lost use of one of her arms for a while she took up the brunt of a lot the taking-care-of-people work. She’s badass, but so many responsible people, as much as suffering builds character, there’s a lot that so many people like this shouldn’t of had to do. My aunt Santos (partner of one of my aunts) was the “tough” child... sure, her parents can praise her for never having to give her help, but it doesn’t matter how “normal” or how “capable” you are, everyone should be able to feel like they can be vulnerable and be taken care of sometimes. Something I’ve come to try and remember a lot is you never know what pain people are actually going through, so while I do want to take care of myself, I always ask my mom when she comes home how her day was. She’s mentioned to me in the past that as a parent there’s the dilemma of “do I show I’m troubled so my child knows I’m human and it’s okay to be upset, or do I hide my troubles for the sake of their comfort?” ... but now that I’m older, I assume this gave a lot more leeway for me to be a listener. She still takes care of me way more than I take care of her, but I do things with her and listen to her in ways that my sister doesn’t necessarily do automatically.

I guess back to more of the original subject, I’ve actually had a friend for many years now, or at least I’ve certainly known them for many years and we became friendly a little later, she isn’t diagnosed with autism, but she still fits in the category of “nice people who I sometimes want to avoid for some reason”. It’s awful, this person has great respect for me, and we even made a couple OCs together, but I’ve had times sitting here in my chair wondering “how do I respond to this?” or “Should I feel bad I’m not as excited about this one thingy as she is?” and “Aw man I wanna talk to someone. No, not you right now. I’m being a choosing beggar.” like who the fuck do I think I am to not be loving on this person who only holds me in the highest of regards??

But here’s the thing I guess. No matter what, there are a few important things in friendships, or really any relationship. Communication, and mutual enjoyment. It doesn’t have to be the choice fault of one or both people that something doesn’t like up, often people just don’t line up. I mean, lots of romantic relationships end not because people hate each other but because two perfectly decent people feel hungry for something else. As long as I treat people with basic human respect, I can’t be too hard on myself can I? There’s so so many people I could choose to have as the few I have regular conversations with at a time, but I tend to fall into routines, and there’s only so much time in the day, so this impacts my social capabilities a lot. I can only talk to people how I want to talk to people on my own time. I wish I could hear everyone’s stories and carry a small piece of them around with me all the time, but it’s tiring as fuck, man.

I want to be around people who inspire me so badly I am thrown into euphoria, the rare euphoria I only get when I have a friendly interaction with someone I didn’t think would have the time or interest to notice me. I technically have really good reading, writing, and drawing skills, but I need to push myself, I need people to bounce off of so I feel motivated to impress and not be lazy. I’m constantly starved for that stimulation and positive reinforcement.

I’ll end this here I suppose.

#personal #vent #long rant

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mikotyzini · 6 years

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What Defines Us - Ch. 24

We’ve reached the halfway point of the story!

Link on ff.net!

If anyone wanted to see the phrase ‘helicopter parent’ in action, they could come over and experience the combined helicopterness of Yang, Blake, and Weiss. It was incredible! The loud whomp whomp whomp of spinning blades filled the air, following Ruby wherever she went - into the garage, into the kitchen, even in the bathroom she could hear it! Well, not really because it wasn’t a real sound, but it was practically a sound by now!

Blake and/or Yang hardly left her side and, if they did, she could still feel one of them watching her closely. Or trying to not closely watch her closely. Like maybe she wouldn’t notice them pretending to read or watch a movie while keeping an eye on her instead. And maybe she wouldn’t notice how they kind of stalked her around the house.

The forever-stalking was extra creepy at night with Blake’s glowy cat eyes. Once or twice, Ruby made the mistake of glancing down the hallway on her way to bed and nearly jumped out of her skin when she saw glowing eyes in the distance. They either belonged to Blake or a ghost, but she was too scared to find out which!

On top of the Glue Crew (Ruby’s new nickname for Yang and Blake since they stuck to her like glue), Weiss was sending nearly constant messages asking how Ruby was doing. Seriously, Weiss checked in at least once every hour, sometimes twice every hour.

Not that Ruby minded the extra attention from Weiss...it was nice that they were thinking about each other so often! Maybe Weiss was primarily worried about Ruby’s health and wellbeing, but Ruby could pretend that that was the same thing...she was great at pretending things.

But seriously, she’d had the equivalent of a bad headache! And then she might’ve passed out or whatever, and they might’ve had to use the little laser on her again - but come on! A pack of ice and pat on the back probably would’ve had her up and running in no time. Nope! She had to go to the hospital and that meant more tests and medicine and yadda yadda. The doctors used big words that she didn’t understand, so she spent most of her time nodding even though she had no idea what they were talking about. Why couldn’t they just call her brain a brain? Why were there different names for simple things?

Now she was perfectly fine, but everyone was treating her like she might explode at any minute. Apparently, she’d earned a new nickname - Ticking Time Bomb Ruby.

Why wasn’t she in charge of her own nicknames? She was way better at coming up with them than Yang.

On the slightly-really horrible side, after talking to the doctor Yang had banned Ruby from any and all physical activity for the next few days. Which sucked! But it was just a precaution to make sure her brain shrank a bit before she worked it up again. Who would’ve thought people would wish for her brain to shrink? Certainly not her grade school teachers…

Barred from physical activity, forced to get a decent amount of sleep every night, and given another pill bottle to add to her tower. This one would be a cinch - no side effects, only a handful of pills, no problem! She could take them all at once! But that was highly not recommended.

There was good news in the midst of the crummy news though!

Unlike before - when Ruby had to twiddle her thumbs when she wasn’t allowed to train - now she had a friend to talk to! Thankfully, Weiss seemed more than happy to chat whenever Ruby wanted, so her days of mandatory rest would pass quickly. And, as soon as the time was up, she was going to beg Blake to practice with her again. After going on one hunt, she wanted to go on more. A somewhat-suspect brain wasn’t enough to stop her!

Glancing at the time, Ruby tossed her scroll on the bed and headed out of her room so she could catch Blake and Yang before they left for the night. Once in the hallway, she walked to the kitchen. Walked.

Walking was soooo slowwww. It was such a waste of time! If she moved faster, she’d get to the kitchen faster and have more time to do other things! But Yang had specifically banned Ruby from using her semblance and had even set a speed limit in the house - anything more than a walk and Ruby had to organize all of Yang’s shoes, which was not something she ever wanted to do.

So she was walking everywhere. And they didn’t need a bigger house because this one was already way too freaking big.

When she finally made it to the kitchen (about a decade later), she found Blake and Yang putting away the dishes from dinner. Well, Blake was putting away dishes while Yang held onto her and whispered into her ear, making her laugh about something.

“The doctors didn’t permanently attach your hand to Blake, did they?” Ruby joked, drawing their attention her way.

“Why yes they did,” Yang replied with a grin, refusing to remove her hand from Blake’s side. When Blake tried to move away, Yang clasped onto a handful of her shirt to keep her in place. “They said it was medically necessary for my survival. And ya know what? I’ve never felt better.”

Ruby rolled her eyes at Yang’s overjoyed smile. Her sister was impossible to tease, as usual. No matter what Ruby said, Yang could always turn it around and make it some sort of weird compliment.

But something was up with them. They’d been extra fond of each other recently...and that was saying something since they were normally extra fond of each other.

“What’s up with you two?” Ruby asked after Yang stole a kiss while Blake wasn’t paying attention, making her ears twitch in surprise.

“What do you mean?” Blake asked, her cheeks blushing a soft red.

“You're like...extra lovey-dovey with each other.”

“I’m not allowed to love my girlfriend?” Yang asked, sharing a warm smile with Blake.

Shaking her head, Ruby decided that she probably didn’t want to know what was up with them. For all she knew, they were celebrating some sort of anniversary that should not be shared with siblings or any other family members. No thanks. Her ears didn’t need to bleed today! Then they’d probably rush her back to the hospital, and they’d have to start this whole thing all over again.

“How are you feeling?” Somehow, Blake managed to peel her attention away from Yang just long enough to ask Ruby that question.

“Good as new!” Flashing two thumbs up, Ruby grinned. “I feel like I could run a whole marathon and not get tired!”

“That’s great! Cuz I’ve been meaning to organize my shoes forever.”

Ruby stuck her tongue out at her sister when Yang laughed.

“I’m not gonna run around! But I feel fine,” Ruby added before glancing at the clock over the stove. “Shouldn’t you be leaving soon? I thought the concert was in an hour!”

“It is. And yes, we should be,” Blake answered before giving Yang a playful shove towards their room.

Tonight was the night of the Achievemen concert Weiss gave Yang tickets to. Thankfully, Blake had convinced Yang not to blast the albums on repeat all day long - something about how Blake didn’t want Yang to ‘wear out’ the songs before they heard the live versions. And there may have been a more violent threat whispered right after that, but it had been too low for Ruby to hear. It made Yang more than willing to agree though!

“This is gonna be the best night ever,” Yang said with a smile. “Just me, Blake, and backstage passes to meet the Achievemen. We’ll be close enough to see them sweat! Isn’t that awesome??”

The look on Blake’s face said that that was not at all awesome, but she nodded anyway.

When Yang got excited like this, her mood was impossible to dampen. A fire hose wouldn’t even be enough to calm her down. Ruby would love to try that out though, just in case. But it probably wouldn’t work, and then Yang would be mad that Ruby sprayed her with a fire hose.

“We even get to meet them after the show! Gonna get some autographs for sure,” Yang continued happily. “Next time you’ve gotta come, Ruby. You’d have a -”

The sentence abruptly cut off as Yang’s smile fell.

“Oh shoot! We need someone to watch Ruby if we’re gonna be gone!” Yang said, turning to Blake with an expression of concern.

“Yangggg, come on - I don’t need a babysitter!” Ruby whined. “I can take care of myself!”

“Uh huh...and what’re you gonna do if your brain tries to explode itself again?” Yang retorted.

“I’m pretty sure that won’t happen!”

“How sure?”

“I’m not a doctor!” Ruby replied, throwing her hands in the air in exasperation.

Following the conversation, Blake tapped her fingers thoughtfully against the countertop before intervening.

“I’m sure Weiss would be willing to come over,” she suggested. Ruby’s eyes widened at the idea - which was genius. Leave it to Blake to figure out the best solution ever.

“That’d be pretty cool if Weiss came over!” Ruby quipped, her happy endorsement making Yang smirk.

“Oh really? What was all that whining for then?”

Furrowing her brow, Ruby nodded her head as if she was seriously pondering her sister’s words. “I’ve reconsidered that, and...I think it would be a good idea to have someone here. Just in case.”

When Blake shook her head and Yang laughed, Ruby couldn’t help but smile.

“Ok, short stack.” Yang reached out and tried to rustle Ruby’s hair, but Ruby successfully dodged out of the way. “Why don’t you see if Weiss can come over now?”

Grinning at the question, she almost used her semblance to blast to her room to retrieve her scroll. But she didn’t. She walked quickly. Which was still so freaking slow. At this pace, the concert would be over by the time she reached her room, and then she’d never get to see Weiss.

It took a gazillion steps to get out of the kitchen and another quadrillion to make it down the hall, but she eventually made it to her room. Grabbing her scroll off the bed, she typed out a quick message.

‘Blake and Yang won’t leave for the concert unless someone is here to watch me. Can you come over?’

She only waited a few seconds for Weiss’ response to arrive - a very succinct ‘On my way.’ Weiss always had such concise answers. Even her messages were tidy - it was cute!

Er, it was...interesting. Which apparently meant the same thing as cute these days.

Beaming at what had unexpectedly become an awesome evening, Ruby decided to keep the scroll with her so that she wouldn’t have to cross Remnant to get it again. After another full day of walking, she flounced into the living room and caught her sister and Blake at the end of a kiss.

“She’s on her way!” Ruby announced, but her presence did nothing to put space between them.

Jeez...what happened to the days when they’d separate a little bit? Not that she cared - they were in love and happy. It was just weird to remember that there was actually a time when they’d acted completely different around her.

A lot had changed since then.

Ending the kiss and playing with Blake’s hair, Yang smirked and rolled her eyes at Ruby’s news. “Of course she’ll drop everything to get here right away...” she muttered.

“But someone will be here to watch Ruby,” Blake replied, taking Yang’s hand and pulling her towards their bedroom. “So now we can get ready to leave.”

“If I didn’t know any better, I’d say someone is excited to see the Achievemen!” Yang called out, allowing Blake to pull her down the hallway. Ruby laughed at the idea that anyone but Yang liked that band, but she couldn’t hear Blake’s muffled response. She could imagine it though! It was probably something super clever and witty like ‘ha, you wish’ or ‘yeah, right’ or…

There was a reason why Blake was the witty one and not Ruby. She sucked at being witty under pressure!

Since it would take another year or two to walk to her room and back, Ruby hopped up onto the kitchen counter and waited for Weiss to get there. Because Weiss was coming over! Ruby had planned on spending her alone time in the workshop, but this was way better!

Even though they’d been in near constant communication via scroll, Ruby hadn’t seen Weiss since the hospital. That was only a couple of days ago, but it felt like they’d been apart forever. Sending messages was nice, but it was nothing compared to hanging out in person! A message didn’t have Weiss’ voice or her eyes...that would be really weird if they did though. Oh! They could video message! Although Ruby had to wonder if Weiss would be ok doing that. It wouldn’t be an option when Weiss was at work or doing something important, but maybe at other times?

Waiting for the time to pass, Ruby swung her feet and traced her fingers along the scar on her wrist. It had been a long time since her arm really hurt. Sometimes there was a slight achiness in it when she overused it, but even that was disappearing with time. The scar would never disappear though, which was fine with her. It gave her something to remember the injury by since she didn’t have the actual memories of it. Plus, scars were supposedly attractive, right? She’d heard Yang say something about that once...and she definitely agreed when thinking about the small scar that ran across Weiss’ eye.

Amongst all the interesting things Ruby had ever learned, one of the most interesting was how interesting Weiss was! She was basically...all thought-consuming. For the longest time, Ruby had had such a one track mind - it was training, training, training, and nothing else. Then bam! Weiss walked into their life, and suddenly she was all Ruby could think about.

Ok, Weiss hadn’t walked in with a bam. The door hadn’t made any sort of noise. And maybe it was more appropriate to say that Ruby now had a two-track mind. One track was reserved for training and becoming a huntress, but the other was exclusively for Weiss. Because Weiss was very, very...interesting.

Hearing Blake and Yang’s voices carrying out of the hall, Ruby looked up from her wrist. The two were dressed for a night on the town, as Yang liked to call it. Walking into the living room, they rummaged through the hallway closet for whatever shoes they were going to wear to the concert.

“Jeez Ruby - waiting for someone?” Yang teased while indiscriminately tossing several miscellaneous shoes out of the closet.

“It takes forever to walk anywhere!” Ruby complained, kicking her feet in exasperation.

“It only feels like forever because you’re used to moving twice as fast as regular people do,” Blake commented with an amused expression. Somehow, she’d already found her shoes and put them on when Ruby hadn’t noticed.

“Welcome to how the rest of the world feels!” Yang added with a cheeky grin.

“It sucks,” Ruby moped from the countertop. “You’re all so slow.”

Chuckling at the response, Blake walked over to the front door and opened it - revealing Weiss just stepping up onto the front porch. Not at all surprised that she hadn’t been able to knock, Weiss merely looked at Blake and shook her head in admiration.

“Hey Weiss,” Blake said with a sly smile as Ruby let out an ‘eep!’ and jumped down from the counter to greet their guest.

“Weiss!” she called out, meeting Weiss right inside the front door and pulling her into a quick hug. “I’m so glad you could make it!”

“Yes, we’re all very fortunate you could make it,” Blake added with a grin while handing Yang the second shoe she’d been searching for.

“Aha!” Yang exclaimed as she took it and slid it onto her foot. After checking her pockets and bag for the tickets, she gave Blake a thumbs up. “Now I’m ready!”

“Guess we can finally leave,” Blake teased, taking Yang’s hand and heading towards the door. “Getting you there on time will be an achievemen-t of its own.”

When Ruby groaned, Yang laughed and pulled Blake close to place a kiss between her ears.

“Have I mentioned that I love you today? Because I totally love you,” Yang remarked with a big grin before finally acknowledging Weiss’ presence. Her smile fell a bit, but she cleared her throat and spoke first.

“Uh, thanks for the tickets, Weiss,” she said, lifting her hand in a loose fist and making a motion like she wanted Weiss to bump it with her own. Weiss didn’t understand the gesture at first, but eventually caught on and lightly tapped her knuckles against Yang’s.

“You’re welcome,” she replied, managing a small smile of her own as Yang stepped outside with Blake.

“Oh yes, thank you for encouraging this unhealthy obsession,” Blake teased.

“Just wait, Blake. By the end of the night, you’ll be begging me for their albums.”

“Yes, so that I can burn them.”

Chuckling, Yang suddenly stopped and turned back to the house, pointing a finger towards Ruby and then Weiss.

“And you two - don’t do anything Blake and I wouldn’t do.”

“There are actually things you won’t do?” Ruby joked.

After making a face at Ruby, Yang pulled the door shut with a “Be back later!”

Left alone in the house, but still able to hear the two girls talking outside, Weiss turned and smiled at Ruby. Ruby’s excitement immediately shot through the ceiling - because Weiss was here! They got to spend the night together! Or like, maybe not the night, but at least until the concert ended.

“How are you feeling?” Weiss asked first. About an hour had passed since she’d asked that question, so it was exactly what Ruby expected.

“Perfectly peachy!” she replied with a big grin. “Absolutely amazing! Fantastically fantastic! Extra uh...excellent!”

Weiss pursed her lips at the slew of words.

“I’ve been asking that too much, haven’t I,” she said, her clear blue eyes saying that she already knew the answer to that question.

“Nope! Well, yeah, a lot, but I totally don’t mind!” Using her best ‘totally not minding’ face, Ruby successfully erased the concern from Weiss’.

“Well, how about I ask you a different question then?” Weiss asked with a hint of a smile that had Ruby hanging onto every word. “What would you like to do now?”

“Something Yang and Blake wouldn’t do!” Ruby immediately answered, throwing her hands up in the air in excitement. “So...clean, maybe?”

The joke made Weiss laugh - and Ruby really liked it when Weiss laughed. There was something so rewarding in seeing light blue eyes sparkle with joy and, for a brief moment, catching a glimpse of a different person - the cheerful, less poised version of Weiss peeking through every expression of true happiness.

If only there were a way to get Weiss to laugh more...then maybe that other version of her could stick around longer...

Oh! Ruby happened to know an extra-awesome and super-effective way to make someone to laugh oodles. Duh, why hadn’t she thought about this before? It was only something Yang did to Ruby all the time.

“I have an idea.”

“Really? What is it?”

Weiss’ willingness to hear the idea was super adorable, but Ruby didn’t need to say it out loud. Instead, she raised her hands and wiggled her fingers in the universal ‘I’m gonna tickle you’ gesture. Eyes instantly widening in recognition, Weiss took several steps away.

“Ruby…” Weiss’ voice was low with warning while she inched towards the living room. “Don’t you dare.”

When Ruby grinned and stepped forward, Weiss took another step back to match. But Weiss was backing into the living room, where there was very little opportunity to escape. The furniture would work perfectly in Ruby’s favor - allowing her to pen the girl in. And if she could get Weiss to the sofa, she would win. Ruby knew all of this from personal experience - on the losing side of things, of course.

Frozen in a draw, each of them waited for the other to make the first move. It was just like sparing! One of them had to move first, and the other would try to react in time.

Grinning at the comparison, Ruby decided to make the first move. She faked a step forward and to the left, which Weiss instantly reacted to, but Ruby was expecting that reaction. Planting her foot on the ground and quickly pivoting the other direction, she just barely managed to reach out and wrap her arms around Weiss before she slipped out of reach. Spinning around, Weiss tried to escape backwards, but all she managed to do was drag Ruby right along with her as they both collapsed awkwardly onto the sofa - which played right into Ruby’s advantage.

As soon as they hit the soft cushions, Ruby unwrapped her arms from around Weiss’ waist and tickled Weiss’ rib cage - by far the most ticklish spot for most people.

And, interestingly enough, Weiss was ‘most people.’ She let out the most adorable squeal Ruby had ever heard while struggling to get away from the tickling fingers.

“Ruby! You -!”

When Weiss’ words dissolved into uncontrollable laughter, Ruby grinned and continued the relentless onslaught of tickles. Weiss looked so happy right now, even as she squirmed and tried to free herself. But there was no way she was getting away from Ruby - Ruby was the tickle master-in-training! Or more of an apprentice.

Wiggling her fingers in between Weiss’ ribs, Ruby laughed as she dodged a flailing arm that almost whacked her in the head. She should’ve tickled Weiss way earlier!

“Alright! You -!” Weiss gasped before a few more giggles escaped. “R-Ruby you win!”

Hearing the magic word, Ruby immediately stopped and grinned down at Weiss, satisfied with the victory.

“God, Ruby - you...dolt,” Weiss huffed, trying to regain her breath while a soft red colored her cheeks. “You’re...trying to kill me…”

Even though Weiss was pretending to be annoyed, she was still smiling.

Weiss was really pretty when she smiled - a real smile and not those guarded ones she normally used. Like, she was really, really pretty. And when she was lightly panting through slightly parted lips, staring up at Ruby with intent blue eyes that seemed to see right through her, with the two of them intertwined on the sofa...it almost felt like Ruby could - or she should - lean down, closing the small gap between them and -

Coughing into her hand to clear that sudden thought from her mind, Ruby refocused on Weiss. On Weiss’ eyes, not her lips.

“Death by tickles, huh?” Ruby asked, sitting up in order to put some space between them and bury the random craving she’d just had.

“It’s possible,” Weiss replied with a serious expression as she sat up, too.

“Nuh uh -”

“Yes ‘huh,’ it’s happened before.”

Giggling, Ruby patted Weiss on the shoulder. “I’m not falling for that one!”

“Want to look it up?”

A smirk accompanied the question - marking it as a challenge. Ruby’s resolve wavered at the look. If Weiss was willing to look it up, maybe she was right. Or...maybe she was bluffing and hoped Ruby wouldn’t catch her. But that would be tricky. Was Weiss tricky?

Staring at Weiss for what felt like forever, Ruby searched icy blue eyes that were much warmer than their color implied. There had to be a hint in there somewhere...something that gave away whether or not Weiss was bluffing…

When Ruby narrowed her eyes, Weiss playfully narrowed hers in turn.

If Weiss was lying, what would give it away? Would it be in her eyes? Would they slightly squint or change color? Would her pupils be a little bigger than usual, or would she have the tiniest hint of a smile?

Suddenly stumbling over the answer, Ruby beamed in delight. There was one. Weiss had a tell!

“Ok,” Ruby replied, sitting nice and straight on the sofa cushion. “Let’s look it up then.”

Weiss was good. Very composed. She hardly flinched at Ruby’s words, but when Ruby reached for Weiss’ scroll to put this matter to rest, a hand shot out to stop her.

“Wait.”

Ruby beamed at the single word, ready to accept her tiny triumph while Weiss looked baffled at how her bluff had been called.

“Alright, you got me. How did you know?”

“You have a tell, Weiss!” Ruby exclaimed, more excited about finding that than about being right. But her words only made Weiss blink in confusion.

“A...tell?”

“Yeah! A tell - like something you do when you’re lying! I just figured it out!”

“What??” Weiss asked in shock. “I do not have a tell.”

“You totally do!”

“Then what is it?”

Sensing the trap and successfully hopping over it instead of falling into it, Ruby shook her head - sending her hair flying all over the place.

“No way - I’m not telling you! Then you’ll just stop doing it!”

“But...you have to tell me!”

“Why?” she asked, laughing at Weiss’ miffed expression.

“Because! I...you...you just should!”

“That’s super not convincing!” Ruby replied gleefully. “But maybe you can persuade me to part with my secrets?” When Ruby playfully batted her eyes, Weiss looked more shocked than anything else.

“How?”

“I dunno. What’s something really awesome that I might want?”

When the question made Weiss blush and turn away, Ruby’s cheeks warmed up too. Had Weiss just thought about what Ruby had just thought about? Or something completely different? Something better?

What had Weiss just thought??

“I’m not sure…” Weiss mumbled before turning back to Ruby - the moment of indecision already gone and replaced by a more assured persona. “One million chocolate chip cookies.”

Ruby burst into giggles at the offer. Because yes, that was amazing and yes, that was something she’d want, but also because Weiss looked so serious about it! Like this was some business deal and she’d literally hand over a million cookies in exchange for the information.

But Ruby couldn’t be bought so easily! Well, maybe normally she could, but not this time!

“Noooo thank you!”

The reply made Weiss’ mouth fall open in surprise.

“You’re turning down a million cookies,” she stated in disbelief while Ruby nodded, pleased with her random thread of self-control.

“Yup! I think this information is much more valuable than that. Plus, I don’t think I could eat them all before they went bad!”

Maybe she could, but that was an awful lot of cookies. What would that even look like? Would they fill her room? The whole house? The neighborhood would probably smell like heaven! How much milk would she need to eat that many cookies? They’d have to get their own cow! She’d name him Herman. Wait - did boy cows make milk?

While Ruby contemplated the logistics of receiving one million cookies, Weiss tapped one finger against her knee, furrowed her brow, and bit her lip in the most adorable display of concentration as she tried to figure out how to pry the information from Ruby.

“What do you want…?”

The question wasn’t directed at Ruby - it was more like Weiss said it to herself while trying to find the answer in Ruby’s eyes.

What did Ruby want? She wanted a lot of things! But knowing when Weiss was trying to lie would probably be super valuable. Maybe she’d be willing to exchange the information for…

Instantly blushing when her brain jumped to something she would absolutely give up the secret for, Ruby averted her eyes and blew a puff of air through her lips.

Why was that her answer? Why was she thinking about that so much right now? Hopefully Weiss’ superpowers didn’t include mind reading. Otherwise Ruby was in for a world of first-class embarrassment right...about…

Now.

When Weiss’ finger kept tapping her knee and nothing else happened, Ruby grinned and wrapped her arms around her legs.

“I can’t think of anything!” she remarked. It was a fib. A big, fat one. There was one thing she couldn’t stop thinking of right now, but there was no way she could ask for that! No, she’d just keep the information safe and sound for now.

“Nothing?”

“Nope! Plus, I like knowing something about you that no one else does. Even you!”

That last part was the truth. Knowing this information made Ruby special, and she really, really liked the idea that she was special - at least, she wanted to be special when it came to Weiss.

Tilting her head to one side, Weiss stared at Ruby for a long time. Obviously, she hadn’t expected Ruby to be so difficult to crack. Which was probably smart thinking - it wasn’t every day Ruby found the resolve to turn down a million cookies! She’d probably take that deal ninety-nine times out of a hundred. Weiss was just unlucky tonight.

“But maybe I’ll tell you one day!” Ruby added with a grin. Weiss stared for a few more seconds before smiling and shaking her head.

“You’re obviously feeling better.”

“Yup! I’m great!”

“Good. Because I really don’t want to take you to the hospital again.”

“And you’re telling the truth!” Ruby added playfully, making Weiss’ eyes narrow in thought once more.

“You won’t tell anyone, will you?”

“You think I’d turn down a million cookies and then just hand this priceless knowledge out for nothing?? No way!” Shaking her head, Ruby added, “They’d have to offer me something better!”

“Such as…?”

“Uh, such as…” Racking her brain, she tried to come up with anything that could possibly be better. It was really hard! Weiss had nailed that offer even if Ruby hadn’t accepted it.

“Yang would have to shave her head!” Ruby said before laughing at how funny it would be to see her sister with no hair. “Oh! Or, Blake would have to let me take Gambol Shroud apart and tinker with him for an entire - three days!”

That last one was quite enticing, too!

Chuckling lightly, Weiss shook her head.

“So never.”

“Basically. It’s cookies or bust.”

Satisfied with that answer, Weiss nodded and leaned against the sofa. Ruby collapsed backwards too, grinning all the while. Being around Weiss was always really fun and...easy. It was kind of weird because they hadn’t known each other that long, but they were already pretty comfortable around one another! Maybe they hadn’t known each other for years like some friends did, but that didn’t matter, right? As long as they had a good time together, they could be great friends!

This ‘making friends’ thing was easier than she’d thought. It probably helped that Weiss already knew Yang, but Ruby would take all the help she could get.

With their shoulders barely touching, Ruby waited for a few seconds in silence before deciding that she needed to say something. She was the host, after all! It was important to keep guests entertained and not bore them to death. And it was possible to bore someone to death - look it up!

“So we did what I wanted to do...now what do you wanna do?” she asked, shifting in her seat to look at Weiss.

“I thought I was supposed to watch you.”

“You’re just going to sit there and look at me?”

Smiling, Weiss shrugged at the question. “Sure, that wouldn’t bother me one bit. But is there anything else you’d like to do?”

That was a great question. What did Ruby want to do? There were so many choices! The world was their oyster! Except that they probably shouldn’t leave the house, and Ruby wasn’t allowed to do anything more physical than shuffle her feet across the floor.

The world was their slightly-restricted oyster!

There were still lots of great options though. They could go for a walk around the house - that would take them into next century. Or they could go into the garage and work on something - maybe Weiss would want to work on a project with Ruby? That’d be cool! Or they could hide Yang’s shoes outside. Or...

“Oh!” Ruby exclaimed when an idea popped into her head. “I know! We can practice my hand-eye coordination! Can you use your glyph-things to throw stuff at me? Do they work like that?”

When Ruby hopped off the sofa, Weiss’s eyes followed her.

“Yes...but throw what ‘stuff’ at you?”

“Um…” Unsure about an answer, Ruby glanced around. What was small and a good projectile?

Leaving the sofa behind, she walked into the kitchen and started opening drawers in search of something to use. “Aha!” she remarked in success, pulling a handful of silverware out of the drawer and turning back to Weiss. “How ‘bout these?”

Looking from the silverware to Ruby and back again, Weiss’ expression was one of pure incredulity.

“Let me get this straight...Yang made you invite me over to make sure you don’t end up back in the hospital, but you want me to shoot knives at you and hope you can catch them before they impale you?”

“Yeah!”

Smiling, Weiss shook her head. “No...I’m not going to do that.”

Her balloon of excitement deflating, Ruby dropped the silverware onto the table as Weiss stood and joined her in the kitchen. Moving with an air of determination, Weiss methodically searched through the drawers herself before pulling open the fridge and rummaging around inside. A few seconds later, she emerged with a bag of grapes in hand.

“I would be willing to throw these at you though,” she said with a pleased grin.

See? This was why Weiss was so much smarter than Ruby.

“Yes!”

Pumping one fist in victory, Ruby slowly and carefully made her way back to the living room and stood in front of the television. Ok, that was a lie. She kind of, sort of ran-hopped. But Yang wasn’t around to say whether or not it was too fast. A speed limit was useless unless there was a cop around to hand out tickets!

That didn’t mean Ruby was dumb enough to use her semblance though. One runaway petal and she’d be as good as caught red-handed.

With Ruby in place, Weiss took a seat on the sofa and set the bag of grapes on the cushion beside her (the coffee table had yet to be replaced after its unfortunate accident). Carefully plucking one grape out of the bag, she held it up for Ruby to see.

“Are you ready?”

Rubbing her hands together, Ruby nodded and focused on the small, green orb between Weiss’ fingers. Nodding in return, Weiss tossed the grape towards Ruby in a slow, meandering arc.

Ruby was about to complain that that was way too easy - then a white/blue glyph appeared out of nowhere. The instant the grape hit the glyph’s surface, it shot off at a completely different angle and nailed Ruby in the side like a friendly version of a mini rocket.

“Wow!” she exclaimed, watching the grape roll away from her before turning back to Weiss. “That was super fast!”

“Did you think I’d take it easy on you?”

Stunned by the response, Ruby looked at the grape on the floor before grinning at Weiss. There was a playful sparkle in Weiss’ eyes that suggested Ruby should’ve known better than to expect such an easy game.

Well, she knew better now!

“Ok,” she said, bending her knees and raising her hands in preparation. “I’m really ready this time. No more drops!”

Nodding, Weiss held another grape up so Ruby could see. This time Ruby made sure to focus all her attention on the tiny orb - every single bit of focus she had in her entire body.

In not-really slow motion, Weiss drew her hand back and let it fly.

Determined to catch this one, Ruby pinpointed the grape in the air and figured out its trajectory - but the game didn’t stop there. At the first glimpse of white, she locked onto the glyph as it appeared and determined the angle it was pointing in relation to the grape. As soon as the two met, Ruby shot her hand out to where she anticipated the grape would go and closed her fingers around the squishy object.

“Aha!” she cried out in success, holding up the grape in victory.

“Good job,” Weiss congratulated her with a smile.

“Yes!” Ruby exclaimed, hopping with joy. “Blake’s gotta watch out - she’s not the only ninja anymore! Ruby Rose is the sneakiest of sneaky in this house now!”

Ruby waved her hands around like a ninja - making karate chops in the air - before a small object bounced off her side. Looking around in surprise and finding another grape rolling away, she turned back to the sofa and found Weiss trying to stifle her laughter.

“Looks like you missed one, Miss Ninja.”

Playfully narrowing her eyes, Ruby popped the grape into her mouth and raised her hands at the ready.

“Oh, you think you’re soooo good at throwing grapes and stuff?” she teased. “Bring it on!”

“You’re not ready for this.”

“I totally am! You’re not ready for this!”

When Weiss arched one brow at the lame comeback, Ruby shook her head.

“Or something more witty than that! Just - let’s see what you’ve got!”

Waving her hands around like the world’s most skilled goalkeeper, Ruby watched Weiss prepare for the next round of this battle between two equally matched foes. Equally matched, as in one of them was not better than the other.

Maybe Ruby should be concerned by the handful of grapes Weiss was holding in one hand...but she wasn’t! She was slick as a ninja! Quick as a cat! More Blake references!

Squeaking in surprise when Weiss threw not one but two grapes in the air, Ruby watched as two glyphs pointing in different directions successfully pelted both grapes into her on opposite sides.

Ok, so Weiss was pretty good at this.

“Lucky shot!” Ruby called out before ducking as a grape whizzed over her head.

She managed to catch one out of the next three grapes thrown her way, but the moment she paused to say “Aha!” two more ricocheted off of her back. Her back! Tossing the grape at Weiss - who deftly dodged out of the way - Ruby yelped while trying to catch two more, but they flew into her instead.

If this was a competition, Weiss was winning. It wasn’t even close. But it was still equally matched.

Ruby was going to catch the next one, but then the glyph rotated at the last second and sent the grape spinning off of her shoulder. And the next grape stuck to the glyph for a half second longer than expected, the white patterns swirling together before firing the grape like a shot out of a cannon.

Every time Ruby squealed when a grape hit her, Weiss laughed. And every time Weiss laughed, Ruby couldn’t help but laugh too.

Laughing made it a lot harder to focus on the flying missiles, but she started having more success after the first dozen or so grapes. Whenever she managed to catch one, she’d throw it at Weiss - only for it to fly right back at twice the speed.

She was losing the battle and the war, but it didn’t matter when she was having so much fun.

“Ok!” she finally called out, raising her hands in surrender (which only exposed her ribs for Weiss to hit with two last-second grapes). “Ok, I give up! You win!”

Slowly lowering her hands, Ruby beamed when she saw Weiss’ twinkling eyes and amused smile.

“So you’ve had enough?”

Ruby smiled when she saw the tease in Weiss’ eyes.

Most of the time, Weiss was calm and collected. But right now, she was...playful. It was like she’d briefly let go of whatever plagued her and allowed herself to be happy and free.

Playful, happy Weiss was now one of Ruby’s favorite things…

Looking at the floor littered with grapes, Ruby bent down to collect a handful for herself.

“Hey, it’s not that easy!” she replied while standing up with her ammunition. “Why don’t you try? Teach me your ways, oh wise one.”

Ever a good sport, Weiss nodded and stood from the sofa. Crouching slightly, she raised both hands like Ruby had just been doing. After taking a brief moment to appreciate Weiss’ super cute expression of concentration, Ruby looked down at the grapes in her hand.

She didn’t have super cool glyphs like Weiss did. She had her speed, but that wasn’t helpful in this situation - not that she was allowed to use her semblance anyway. But what she lacked in awesome glyphs, she made up for in ingenuity!

She could throw just one grape, but that wouldn’t be a challenge. Two would also be pretty easy…

Fortunately, she had the element of surprise on her side - because she had a doozy of a plan!

Picking up a solitary grape, Ruby held it in her left hand and swung her arm back like she was going to throw it. But, at the same moment she let that grape fly, she shot her other hand forward and threw the entire fistful of grapes at Weiss at once.

It was brilliantly executed.

As was the glyph Weiss formed in front of her to capture all of the grapes in midair.

Catching the flash of a smirk on Weiss’ lips, Ruby instinctively covered her head and turned as the grapes pelted into her - every single one of them bouncing off of her before falling to the floor.

Only when the barrage ended did Ruby lower her hands and start giggling - looking over to the sofa to find Weiss laughing too. And laughing Weiss was just...the best.

“How did you know I was gonna do that??” Ruby asked through her giggles, only for Weiss to smile and shrug.

“It seemed like something you would do.”

“Uh oh.”

“What?” Weiss asked, her expression quickly turning to one of concern.

“You know me too well,” Ruby concluded with a grin. Relaxing, Weiss returned the grin with a smile - another one of those amazing smiles that reached her eyes and made them shine with joy.

Ruby loved seeing that - she loved it when Weiss smiled so freely. She loved it when Weiss relaxed and had fun. And she loved being able to bring out this side of Weiss, if only for a few seconds at a time.

Ruby would’ve shared that smile forever, but Weiss eventually broke eye contact and looked at the mess of grapes on the floor. As she did so, her walls slid back into place, and the carefree version of Weiss slipped away.

It was a fast change, and it left Ruby with a strange feeling of loss - but she wasn’t discouraged. If Weiss was still here, there was nothing to be discouraged about.

“Oh! I have an idea!” Ruby said as a plan popped into her mind. Runn - walking quickly to the fridge, she pulled out a carton before rushing back to the living room and pressing it into Weiss’ hands.

“What’s way more awesome than grapes?” she asked, grinning at her genius idea.

Looking down at the carton in her hands, Weiss then looked at Ruby in disbelief.

“You can’t be serious -”

“Deadly serious! Come on - it’ll be fun!” Pressing her palms together, Ruby begged with her eyes - using the best set of puppy dog eyes she had.

After briefly biting her lip, Weiss fought back a smile while pulling two eggs from the carton and setting the rest on the floor by her feet. Holding one of the fragile items up in the air, she gave Ruby a playfully serious expression that did little to mask her enjoyment of the situation.

“You’d better catch these.”

Taking the words as acceptance of the idea, Ruby giggled in delight while hopping over to her spot in front of the TV.

Honestly, she didn’t care if she caught the eggs or not. All that mattered right now was that the happy version of Weiss was back.

#rwby #white rose #weiss schnee #ruby rose #what defines us

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some-rfa-imagines · 6 years

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hii!!!! can i please request an angsty hc with rfa and their reaction to where the bomb in rika's apartment actually goes off cuz some burglar tries to break in and they only found out about it thru ur goodbye messages in the chatroom before u die?? thx thx and hope youre having a night day or night!! :D

yikes apparently you want to see me cry, okay i see how it is lolol

lets do this;;;;

p.s this is v long (rest under the cut) and anything [in square brackets] is a text.

NOTE: OMG IM SO SORRY YOU ASKED FOR HDC BUT I MADE A SCENARIO INSTEAD IM AWFUL PLEASE TELL ME IF YOU’D LIKE THIS CHANGED INTO HDCS I FEEL TERRIBLE.

tw: bomb, guns, death.

PLEASE READ AT YOUR OWN RISK.

It was cold. The clock had just hit 2:30 am. The faint sounds of the city filled the silence of the apartment. You sat at your desk, polishing up some minor details for the party. Only a few more days until you got to meet everyone and you were incredibly excited. While you were still concerned about the bomb and the hacker, you trusted Seven and V to deal with it - and if they couldn’t do it, Jumin was incredibly reliable. So you put your worries to rest and all of your efforts went into the RFA party.

Besides, if anything did go wrong (which you doubted would happen) you had a will and letters to go to all of your loved ones, both of which were safely kept in your own home. But everything would be fine anyway, so they really weren’t necessary.

You quickly emailed the rest of the details to Jaehee, answered some guests and bid goodnight to Yoosung who was complaining about LOLOL server maintenance. Shutting your laptop, you stood up to brush your teeth and prepare for bed. Eventually, you turned off the lights and crawled under the warm covers, listening to the bustling city with excitement as you drifted off.

Something isn’t right.

The red LEDs of your alarm clock read 4:41 am as you startled awake. It’s too cold. Slipping out of your bed, you grabbed your phone from the nightstand and unlocked it, opening the RFA chat. No one’s online.

[Guys, something’s off.]

You had just hit send when a voice rang out.

“A stranger has been located.”

Your heart leapt into your throat. Scared for your life, you frantically texted the chat, your thoughts as chaotic as your messages.

[SVENE]

[HLEP]

[ETHERES SOMETHING HRRIBLY WRONOG]

[SOEMONES HERW]

“Sensed location of stranger… adjusting target…”

[THE SYSDYEMS BEEN AC TIVATESD]

You desperately tried to phone Seven- anyone. No one was picking up. Your chest heaved. I can’t breathe. Panic spread like wildfire and you sprinted out of your room to try and escape the apartment-

Your heart stopped beating and your feet froze in fear. A shining, silver barrel was pointed straight at your heart.

It’s freezing.

“Don’t. Move. A muscle.” Whoever was behind responsible for breaking into your apartment, well, he clearly had a death wish. “What is that?!”

“Backing up all information… After the back up is complete, the bomb will be activated. 20 seconds backup remaining.”

“What is going on?!” He screamed, lowering his gun for just a second. He had a weak point, in your range. You had to make a decision; would you let him steal not only the information but your life or would you save something?

…I can’t let him get his hands on that information.

“15 seconds backup remaining…”

You took your chance. Adrenaline rushed through you as you hit the gun out of his hand. “Wh- HEY!” You punched his side with all your strength. Then, bringing your knee up, you kicked him in the groin as hard as you could, sending him crumpling to the floor. “You bitch!”

No one will come.

“10 seconds backup remaining…”

You lunged for the abandoned gun, your fingers, slick with sweat, failing to pick it up. “Oh no, you don’t!” The intruder seized your ankle, pulling you down to the floor. You yelped in shock.

“Let me go!” I’m scared.

“5 seconds backup remaining…”

Your tears overflowed as he began to stand. With the remainder of your energy, you kicked him off you, finally picking up the gun. Pushing yourself off the floor, you rushed into your room, slamming the door behind you.

I can’t think straight.

“Backup complete. Relocating target.”

You fumbled with your phone, texting whoever you could. Your family, your friends, and of course, the RFA. Three simple words; usually said to fiances, parents or children. Never in your life would you have believed they’d be said in this circumstance - especially not by you.

“Bomb will detonate in T minus 5…”

Outside your room, you heard the robber curse. Your heartbeat crushed your chest and your tears streamed down your face.

The information is safe. Ĭ̶̗ ̴̢͌͂ä̶͖́m̷̠͒ ̶̜͠g̴̛̜̯̐̓ồ̷̱̽i̶̯̤̮͐n̵̬̝̑g̸̦̺̈̂͂ ̷̘͈̻̒̅̉t̴̛͔̖̣͆̆ọ̵͝ ̸̘̆̿d̴̺͗͜i̶̖͐e��̬͇̦͑.

“4…”

Your lungs were on fire.

I’m sorry I couldn’t do more for you. E̵͈̒̃̾v̸͎̗̠̍̓̉e̵̡͖͗r̵͍̗̼͝͝y̷̜͓͍͗͌̒t̵̙̪͕͝h̸̥͆͜͝i̵͕̱͚͊̃͂n̸̜͈̥̏g̸̮͐̐̿'̸̛̰̖͎͌̽s̶̪̦̉̋ ̶̯̋̔ẉ̷̦͌r̷̦̜̉o̴̼̔̚n̸̝̒͌ǵ̴̖͇͌.

“3…”

Your head was light.

Please don’t blame yourselves.I̵͉̹̎̀ ̷͓̈́a̸̢͎͒m̴̭̋̏ ̷̤͕̾̓̅s̷͚͔͚̔ǫ̷̖͖̎͆̇ ̷̼̂â̷̘̜̝̎l̸̦̦͚̉o̸͔̒̅n̸͇̑̔̃e̴͚̒͋.

“2…”

You braced for impact.

I love you all. I̵̥͙̺̓̉t̶͓̣͒͠'̷̥͐̃͒s̷͙̺̉̂ ̵̩͔̀̌͋s̷̨̲̙̃o̵̧̗̗͛ ̵͒͜c̵͓̥̍ỏ̵͙͓̪͂̉l̸͎̖̱̾͝d̵̡͇̉.

“1…”

Thank you for everything. H̵͍̙͉͐e̴͉͖̔̔͂l̵̬̥̰͐̚p̴͔̣̓̎͆ ̶̨̍̐̈́m̶̙̤͕͊̍̋e̷̡̪̺͐̂.̸̱̟̈́̓

“Detonating.”

You screamed.

They didn’t learn about it until the morning. The whole country knew. Soon, the whole world.

The apartment building had exploded in a fiery haze, collapsing one half of the building into the inferno. It was attended by every fire station in the city. There were four dead, twelve injured and two in critical condition, at that moment. The source of the blast was floor fourteen. Your apartment. That’s what they knew. That’s what was reported by every news broadcaster in the city.

You were dead.

That’s what they knew.

Seven found out first. The alarms rang out during the countdowns. His fingers flew across the keys at a speed he didn’t know he could reach. It was too late. The continuous clicking came to an abrupt halt. He wasn’t fast enough. His heart pounded in his ears and he felt faint. His mouth was dry. He couldn’t think, he couldn’t move. He couldn’t breathe. Pain welled up in his throat and tears drenched his skin. Seven couldn’t do anything. He had made that bomb. He wasn’t skilled enough to turn it off. He couldn’t save you. He couldn’t save you. He couldn’t save you. He couldn’t save- he couldn’t- he- save- you…

V was there. Seven had called him as the first countdown began. V, in the area at the time, rushed there only to arrive and watch everything collapse. He watched the fire erupt from the rubble, felt the heat on his entire body. He suffered the shockwave in his chest. The blaze of failure rivalled that of the flames before him. His heart clenched. He had failed yet another person he held dear. V froze in front of the mayhem.

The police asked him many questions; Where was he before the explosion? Did he know how it happened? Did he know anyone in the building? Did he live there? Did he have anywhere to go, anyone to call? V let them check his emergency contacts. Jumin was called.

Jumin arrived on the scene not even twenty minutes later to pick up V. He stepped out of the car, emotionless. The police filled him in. There was no body to be found, however, earwitnesses had overheard a scuffle and shouting moments prior, indicating there was someone else in the apartment. That’s what they knew. Jumin couldn’t feel anything. He comforted V regardless of the growing ache in his chest. He stepped to the side to call Jaehee. He could only manage the address and the words: “It’s MC, come immediately.” In too much shock, Jumin only found himself hugging V tighter.

She pulled up very soon after. “Mr Han…” She didn’t even have to ask. The flames had subsided and were replaced by a heavy sorrow hung which in the air. The sun peaked over the buildings, covered substantially by smoke. Above that, the pink sky glittered with the last remaining stars. Jaehee glanced up. She didn’t know what came over her but she found herself scowling at the sky. You’d loved it. You’d loved the feeling of freedom it gave. You’d loved the colours, how they spread across the sky as though it was a canvas and the sun was the artist. Now it glimmered with a hope that she didn’t know if she would ever get to experience again. Jaehee shook her head and looked back down. She had to make you proud. She had so much work to do.

Zen overheard it only after he’d left his house. It was in shop TVs, the people in the park were whispering about it, even his fellow actors. People he passed gave him pitiful looks and he hated it. Zen couldn’t bear to log into the messenger. He didn’t want to know that he could’ve helped you; that he could’ve made sure you weren’t alone. He didn’t want to think about it. It was too quiet during his rehearsals. His director sent him home early. As he rode home, the wind tore at his jacket and tugged on his hair. It was too cold. Yoosung called him soon after he made it home, in hysterics. Zen agreed to meet up.

They met at Yoosung’s place. Zen knew Yoosung wouldn’t be able to go anywhere else. He was distraught. His tears stained through his shirt. His friends were telling the school that he wouldn’t be in. Yoosung felt so, so, so very alone. You two were close for the fleeting moments you knew each other. First Rika, now you? His heart couldn’t take it. His mind was racing. Was it him? Was he a bad-luck charm? Was it his fault? Why did you have to leave him? Why now? Why? Why?! His thoughts cluttered, his emotions in pandemonium. He could do nothing but cry and hold onto Zen. Yoosung didn’t want to be alone. You made him feel less lonely.

You made them all feel cherished. Feel wanted, feel heard, feel loved. But you were gone.

That’s what they knew.

Whoo boy did i make myself sad or what

I promise I’ll write more. And I’m not just saying that this time. I promise.

anyway, hope this is what you want! Just tell me if you’re unsatisfied and ill rewrite!

bye bye! *poof*

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