#i tried to be nuanced in the take and i hope it doesn't just come off as inconsistent | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

sio-writes · 2 years

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Best Shot - Oneshot, 6k words

NB!Lizardfolk Alien and NB!Reader - Technically SFW but past NSFW is referenced and heavily implied/glossed over. Additional tags include general hurt/comfort, implied D/S dynamics, and child-rearing anxiety (although no one is pregnant.) If you’d like me to add any tags please feel free to message me, and happy reading!

***

Vek pulls you aside into an empty hallway, face pinched and uncomfortable. "I have a favor to ask of you."

Your eyebrows shoot up in surprise. It's not like your shipmate to make a personal call. Last time they pulled you aside like this you wound up on your knees in the supply closet, but the fact that they're checking over their shoulder and down the hall, no supply closets in sight? It must be serious.

Their shoulders are hunched, their normally deep green skin has turned sallow with worry, and the mohawk-like crest on their head is pushed back into their spine. Normally, you'd poke fun at their dejected state, ask who kicked them out of bed or something equally as juvenile. But they called on you, so you must be trustworthy enough to confide in. "Sure. What's up?"

They swallow hard and look away, towards the ground in a display of shyness you'd never seen on them before. Their face darkens to a deep purple, a color you faintly recognize as embarrassment, but have never seen on them before. "I require…your body heat."

You choke out a laugh before you can stop it, and their golden eyes snap to yours, sharp and narrowed to slits. They're not kidding.

You school your expression into one of neutrality. "That's an odd way to ask for Round Two."

They grumble, "Three, technically. But it does relate."

You push the joking aside, and lean casually against the wall, arms folded. "What is it?"

They clear their throat, gathering themselves. "After our, what did you call it, a trust?"

"Tryst," you laugh.

"Yes, that. I thought I had taken my ovulation blockers, but apparently I did not, so I began my heat cycle shortly afterwards and that's when I began panicking, and--" their eyes go wide and their face turns a deeper shade of purple before they wave a dismissive hand. "Regardless. It is my fault, but I require your assistance."

Your smile drops, and your arms fall to your sides. You have a feeling what the answer will be, but you still ask, "What is?"

Vek fishes something out of their pocket, and for one terrifying moment you think it's a bomb, and then you kind of wish it was. At first glance it looks like a disco ball, a spherical capsule the size of an apple, off white in color. You lean down to inspect the sphere, and Vek growls and jerks it back away from you. The movement is so sudden and full of emotion you're momentarily stunned, but their expression falls the moment you make eye contact, and they sheepishly offer it to you again.

"Oh shit."

Inside are dozens of translucent eggs each the size of a large coin, with squirming little Eilki embryos inside. Vek says nothing in response, their stony silence only broadcasting their shared powerlessness with the situation.

You're barely the age your parents were when they had you--and that was a clusterfuck of epic proportions. You can barely remember to drink enough water, let alone keep track of something else that also needs water. Wait, did Eilki babies need water? Did they need to stay wet like fish eggs? You feel yourself on the verge of becoming hysterical, so you run your hands over your hair a few times, finding it grounding in the slight pull on your scalp.

"So." You laugh shakily and fall back against the wall. "We're parents, huh?"

Your first instinct is to take the thing and chuck it out of the air-lock, but that's a lot of paperwork, and a lot of mortifying explanations. Plus with the way Vek grabbed it away just now, you wouldn't get very far before being eviscerated.

"I've already alerted the Captain," Vek says. "I am disembarking at the next port."

Your stomach drops. "You're…you're leaving?"

They furrow their large brow in confusion. "I sent out a ping for potential host families and got an immediate reply." They pause, studying you with those slitted pupils, then their face lights up in understanding. "Ah, I forgot you humans raise young for an exorbitantly long time." They puff out their chest as if proud. "After hatching we are self-sufficient after a turn of the planet, but incubation before that takes about 45 days. The trade-off with the host family is that I see to the first part since they cannot." Vek looks down as the capsule, turning it gently in their clawed hands. "Which is why I came to you. I cannot produce the necessary body heat. Humans can, and you are the one that I'm-- ahem-- closest to, and so the only one I could ask."

The smile you give them is childish. "You want me to sit on it."

They roll their eyes, the black slitted pupils disappearing behind their lids. "No. Normally we leave them in the daylight and then conserve heat by curling around them at night, but," they look out the window closest to the two of you, expression forlorn. "It is only truly night time here."

You want to point out that there's dozens of heat lamps close to the kitchens, but you're struck by something Vek said after you hooked up. You'd made some gripe or another about them being clingy, and they had a whole speech prepared on the sanctity of sharing body heat. Their culture likened it to a consummation, equivalent to sex itself, how whole clans were connected on that one facet alone, and suddenly the Eilki's propensity for orgies made a whole lot more sense to you. You'd even asked Vek why they don't just lay under one of the heating lamps that the other eilki do, and they scoffed, almost disgusted you'd even suggested it, and then said, "Your warmth is leagues better."

Vek turns the capsule in their hands again. "If you could take care of this, at least during the daily routines, and I would take it at night. That is all I ask."

Their face shifts into a bright shade of yellow, some emotion in them you don't recognize, as their gaze falls to the side. You've never seen them this awkward before, they're normally such a commanding presence. Just this morning they were barking orders and shouting at you to keep to schedule.

But, looking down at the capsule, so tiny in Vek's hands, you realize that this is your problem too. At least, for the next month or so. And you're nothing but an engineer of honor. Leaving Vek out to dry would be so shitty, and although you're sure they could handle it--a two meter high lizard could handle most things--but it wouldn't be right. So you sigh through your nose, push past the spear of anxiety lancing through your gut, and carefully pick up the capsule like it's made of spun glass. You're a temporary parent now, suck it up. "What do I need to do?"

Vek's eyes light up. "How deep are your pockets?"

***

You're elbow deep in the ship's oil reserves, feeling around with your bare hands for the ferrofluid block that keeps escaping your grasp because it's such a shitty feature that--there! Yanking the slippery bastard out of the tank flings your arm in a wide arc, spraying oil over the walls, but you can clean it later because it worked, baby! Since you're the only one in the secondary engine stores you do a little dance to imaginary music to celebrate your victory. Or at least, you think you're alone until you turn to see Vek, covered in a splash of dark brown oil and looking, well, more pissed than usual.

Vek is alone, which is weird because they usually have no less than ten other crew members by their side at all times. They must have come down to talk to you, and gotten caught in the cross-fire.

"Whoops," you laugh, leaning against the slowly draining tank of oil. "Sorry 'bout that."

Vek stomps up to you, tongue flicking out angrily and their eyes bright enough to start a fire. Grabbing your wrist, currently covered in oil and therefore coating their hand in it, they pull your arm so their furious face winds up an inch from yours. "What are you doing?!"

Sarcastically, you stroke their face with your free hand, smearing oil across their skin. "I'm doing my job, lieutenant."

Their face shifts into deep blue--rage--and they grip your wrist tighter. "You think this is a game?!"

You shoot them a finger-gun. "Life's a game, darlin'."

Somehow their expression intensifies. This is the talk that got you a reprimand, but it's also the talk that got Vek in that supply closet. Vek's hot when they're mad, all authoritative and commanding but in the best way. You kind of want to make the floor dirtier than it already is. You run a blackened finger over the lapel of Vek's jacket, and they rear back, nostrils flaring.

"Are you serious right now? You have bigger things to worry about, so to be so careless with--" They gesture to the front pocket of your overalls where you tucked the capsule, and their anger makes sense to you.

You arch an eyebrow. "Chill out. It's buttoned up and safe."

They scoff rolling their eyes condescendingly. "Buttoned up, oh that's lovely."

"It's fine!"

"No thanks to you!"

"I can clean it off for you if you want!"

They release your wrist to throw their arms in the air. "That's not the point!"

"What, you think I should give it to someone else?"

"No!"

"Do you wanna take it?!"

"I! Can't! I need you to keep them alive!"

You roll your eyes and drone sarcastically, "Wow, you really care about me."

"You fuck up your own life perfectly well, but to drag another into it--"

"Another like you?!"

Vek stops halfway, eyes wide, mouth parted. Like you've shocked the words from their mouth. But you don't have time for this bullshit. They said what they needed to say, and you're done.

"That's what I thought." You shove past them, not caring that you're tracking black into the hall towards the locker rooms.

You're afforded a dozen or so steps before Vek's voice rings out behind you, "Wait!"

You keep walking.

"I didn't mean it like--"

"Don't you fucking dare!"

You slam the door to the locker room, leaning your weight against it in case Vek tries to bust their way in. After a moment though you don't even hear footsteps, so you release the door and start to rip off your work boots. You can't tell if you're disappointed that Vek didn't try to break the door down, or angry they left you alone to deal with this. They always see things through to the end, and leaving you alone and gross has you feeling hollow.

Whatever. You need to get this oil off before it stains your skin.

The locker rooms are like any other, if everything was rendered in chrome. The shower squeaks on like every other shower you've been in, and it takes no time at all to start steaming. You pull the capsule out of your overalls, glaring at your warped reflection as you wait for the urge to smash it to come, but it doesn't. These little shits didn't do anything wrong, except maybe rattle around your chest while you worked. Annoying, but not guilty. There's only one guilty party in this room.

The capsule is spotless, just like you thought, and you decide to let it get some extra heat by setting it on the shelf inside the shower.

The nice thing about chrome is that it's easy to clean, so you feel zero guilt as you let your dirty overalls fall to the floor alongside the rest of your clothes. The locker rooms have spare bathrobes anyway, so you can run by your office and grab clean clothes later. The second the hot water hits your skin you groan, the tension leaving your muscles almost instantly.

You're watching the oil swirl down the drain, wondering if that's going to come back and bite you later, when you hear the door swing open and closed.

You hear the slow, lumbering steps of a predator, stopping just outside the shower curtain. And only half of you wishes they'd leave. You keep your gaze on the wall opposite the shower curtain, where it eventually falls on the capsule. The inside has fogged up, but you can see the little embryos inside are moving, like they're happy-dancing. Vek had mentioned they have a high tolerance for heat, so you grab the capsule and bring it under the water you set to nearly scalding. They're not so bad, these little dudes, they're kinda funny to watch actually. Feeling them in your pocket the past few days has turned into a comfort.

Behind you, Vek inhales like they're about to start speaking, but you cut them off.

"I'm not talking to you," you say to the wall.

Then Vek sighs, a long, sad hissing noise that matches the tone of the shower faucet. "Then I will speak to myself, then."

More rustling, and you chance a glance backwards to see that their shadow has moved from in front of the curtain to sitting on the floor beside the stall.

They growl, a short, low note in their throat. "I don't understand why you--" they pause for a deep breath, then another that turns into a heavy sigh. "I don't think you fucked up my life. I did. And I dragged you into it."

Vek has never admitted to any wrongdoing, ever. They'd rather argue to the end and get the last word than apologize. But then again, you're known for doing the same.

You grimace. Son of a bitch. "It takes two to tango, I guess."

They breathe out a laugh, and you imagine them crossing their arms. "I don't know what that means, but if you're admitting fault, I will say you're the seductive one."

You balk, indignant. "Me?? Who came up to me in the middle of the mess hall asking to bone?"

"I did not 'ask to bone'."

"Oh, my bad, you just waltzed up, right in the middle of my salad, and angrily asked to see me in the meeting room."

"The meeting room where you humiliated me."

You bark a laugh. "Where I called you out on your bullshit!"

"In front of all my colleagues and friends."

"What friends?"

Vek laughs, something you've only heard a handful of times, and it's an infectious noise so you start to laugh with them. The world feels right again, something's slotted back into place. You want this to work between them, so badly, but you never knew how.

The silence is heavy, until Vek asks, "May I come in?"

You roll your eyes, but there's a smile behind it. "If you must."

You listen to the shuffling of clothes outside, and step to the side to give Vek room as they step in. They're so large they take up nearly the whole stall, and you sigh out as they wrap their strong arms around your middle.

"I should have trusted you."

"Yeah."

"But please understand my worry."

"I'm sorry." You turn in their arms, holding up the capsule between you. "You really like these little guys, don't you?"

"They are a part of us," they say, voice pitched low. "Of course I do."

"And you think I'm the seductive one?"

Vek nuzzles your shoulder, tracing their snout up your cheek. "You are."

With a sigh, you twist back around and lean into their chest. "I'm still mad at you."

Their voice is even lower when they say, "Allow me to make it up to you."

You fake gasp. "In front of the children?"

"They don't have eyes yet."

***

For the third time in as many hours, you look over from your bed, concern making your eyebrows draw together. Through the darkness you can make out Vek on their own bed, curled around a bundle of blankets. Their long tail wraps all the way to their head, and faint green light pulses gently from their brow, marking patterns that split like veins over their rough skin. They all converge to a single point at the end of their tail before starting again at their brow, continuing endlessly in a protective circle. You've only seen Vek glow when they're sleeping, but it's never been this vibrant. It's mesmerizing, and you don't want it to stop, but you need to wake Vek up to take the eggs from them, to give them some warmth that you couldn't provide that day.

You'd been working on the ship's flight navigation motherboard, a gargantuan piece of machinery that liked to spit out heat. Normally that'd be great for keeping eggs warm, except command decided to shut off the ship while you worked, and installed a bunch of cooling fans to make the whole area feel like ice. You busted out your jacket despite the sweat rolling down your face, and the whole time you'd been worried about those damned eggs. How long could they go without heat? Vek could withstand temperatures any human could, but they always needed to warm up or risk freezing. Were the eggs the same?

After you'd told Vek how cold the motherboard had been, they merely shrugged and gave you this defeated expression before taking the capsule and muttering, "We can only see how they fare in the morning." Because they don't ask you to care after the day is over.

And now you can't sleep. Not knowing they're cold. Both of them, because holy shit this room is freezing.

You swing your legs off the bed and pull the blanket over your shoulders. The only sound is the hum of the oxygen circulator and your bare feet against the floor. You step your way over discarded pieces of clothing and the general debris that comes with living in quarters the size of a college dorm room.

You stop in front of Vek, your nerves making your muscles seize up, which they shouldn't. The two of you have shared this room for nearly a year. You'd seen all you needed to see and more. So why are you stopping now? Maybe it's the eggs, maybe it's something else. Vek has been softer the past few weeks and you don't know how to proceed. They've been shouting less, been helpful, you even heard them offering gentle advice to a crewmember. It's a welcome change, no one is having anxiety attacks at seeing them anymore, but it's still weird. An adjustment.

And this…thing between you two has evolved. It used to just be the occasional glance and a nod--a habit they picked up from you, they've said. You expected yelling across the room, orders commanded from a place of authority. Curt politeness at best. Distance. It was easy. But then they started sitting with you in the mess hall, or speaking to you about inane things on the bridge, standing just too close to you like a foreboding shadow and giving any overly-friendly crewmember a narrowed gaze. The whole ship thinks you're a couple now, and you're overrun with knowing glances every time Vek pulls you aside to demand an update on your well-being. They're less pushy, like they've calmed down.

And having Vek, strong, capable Vek, carefully wielding their power instead of throwing it around is a heady feeling, one you're quickly growing addicted to. They don't grip your arm to lead you, but apply a firm hand to your lower back. They don't outright demand you speak to them, but their steady gold eyes tell you there's no room for argument. They gently run their hand over your hair before guiding you down to their groin and keeping you there.

You're used to the hard and fast, action first questions later kind of interactions. Even before Vek, it was heat, fire, quick fumbling and then it's over. This considerate, gentle firmness they've been offering has your brain short circuiting. The heat is still there, but it radiates through you, a fission reaction through your bones that leaves marks, leaves you wanting it again and again.

But those are specific situations. Certain social rules. It may not apply in the dead of night in your shared quarters.

You shake your head to yourself and turn away from Vek's sleeping form--it's too familiar, too intimate. You didn't even cuddle that long the first time, it shouldn't be any different now. If those eggs die, ot's not your fault.

You're barely a step away when the blanket pulls around your shoulders. You whip your head around and Vek has a single claw hooked in the corner. Golden eyes glow in the dark as the green fades away. They blink at you slowly, like some kind of predator, and their voice is pitched low with sleep, "Where are you going?"

"I…" you start, hoping for an excuse to come to you, but you glance to the blanket instead, and Vek follows your eyes. You feel foolish. For gods' sake you had sex, and you're getting cold feet over some potentially necessary cuddling.

Vek shifts in the bed, gently pulling the blanket again. "Lay with me. Clothes on this time." You see the flash of teeth in the dark, an offering of a smile.

Again, you feel like a fool. Caught, vulnerable and wanting for something other than sexual gratification. That's what fools want.

"Keep me warm?" Vek asks, more awake yet somehow softer.

They're giving you an out, you realize. Something they've never done before. But…Vek really cares about those eggs. It's really important to them. And Vek, you realize shamefully, is pretty damn important to you.

"Scoot over," you mumble, hoping they can't see well enough in the dark to make out how dark your face is. Maybe the extra heat will help.

It takes a moment of arranging until you're curled around the capsule, and Vek is curled around you. Their scaly skin is cool against yours, even under their massive fluffy blanket, and you're silently thankful that you snuck over for the eggs' sake. Vek is large, curling one strong arm around you and pillowing their head with the other. You're hugging the capsule to your chest, and you feel a bit like a nesting doll, or a perfect little family.

The anxiety you feel around the eggs has lessened over the weeks. You're not so scared you're going to screw something up, not with Vek helping you out at every turn. The little capsule is starting to grow on you, you're glad to see it every morning, you find yourself constantly checking your pocket to make sure it's there. You can handle this. You can be responsible until you hand them off.

Vek tucks your head under the bottom of their snout and their voice reverberates down your back. "I know you didn't ask for this. So again…you have my thanks."

"I mean," you attempt to keep your tone light. "You didn't ask for it either."

"No," they concede. "But I admit I don't mind the idea of having young to look after."

"Isn't that what the interns are for?"

They snicker, the sound coming out like a hiss. They pet your head with one big hand, then return it to your waist. "This is not the line of work to be rearing young, but I am a bit upset to be giving these up."

Your breath catches in your throat, and questions pop like bubbles in your chest. You want to ask why. Why Vek is being so open, why they want to keep these. Why they continue to want your body heat and treat you like you're something precious. But you're afraid of the answer, that you already know it. The other Eilki on the ship, they must be able to smell it on you. The past week you've been met with upturned snouts, but even worse are the understanding glances, the knowing smiles that look horrifying with their jagged teeth. It can't possibly be because of you. You can't keep these, you couldn't handle it.

Vek is stroking your arm with gentle movements, and the emotion that wells up in your chest is too big to name. Your whisper is louder than the oxygen circulator, "I can't be a parent."

Their tongue flicks the top of your head, a gentle caress against your heated skin. "That is alright."

***

You trace your index finger around the edge of one of the eggs, watching the tiny forms move beneath the clear casing. In the light, the eggs are all practically transparent, and you can count the toes of each little eilki--three for the front, four in the back, just like Vek. Seeing it brings tears to your eyes--you can't give them up. The thought of being a full time parent still terrifies you, but these eggs? They've relied on you for a month and a half, they're yours. You dream of they'll look like, green like Vek, or a shade of brown? Their stupid little wiggles, the three sets of twins inside. It's a knife to the gut that you'll never get to find out about any of them, but maybe that's for the best. You fumbled the capsule a few days ago and nearly gave Vek a heart attack. You didn't drop it! But you almost did. Hardly fit for parenting.

The Decanode port is barely that--little more than a worn down metal arm sticking out of a spare moon orbiting a gas giant. You feel tetanus creeping in just looking at it, and this is where you're dropping off the eggs? At this distance, you're beginning to parse out individuals as they mill about the port. There's shops with fabric in muted colors hanging in the doorways, standalone stalls with excitable vendors, and open windows advertising things in so many languages you half expect to see English amongst them. You want to steer the ship as far away as possible.

You frown in displeasure as it zooms into view from the holding deck, and Vek's hand rests heavy on your shoulder. You hadn't even heard them walk up.

"The family doesn't live here. They reside in a binary star system about three light-years off course."

"They're not good enough," you pout, fighting back the burning in your nose that means tears for about the sixth time that day. You shove the capsule into your front pocket. "Do we really need to give them up?"

Vek's brow raises. "You're asking me this now."

"I mean, with so many it'll be hard for a while but we could--"

Vek lifts you off the floor and holds you tightly in their arms, their voice muffled against your shoulder. "We cannot."

You deflate, your weight dragging you down even with your feet several inches off the floor. "Yeah, I know."

This is a scientific vessel, but it's still too dangerous for children, even if they are fully self-sufficient after a year. You sniff into Vek's shoulder, burying your tears into their uniform--crisp and pressed as always.

A few groups of crew pass by as the two of you make zero movements away from each other, but you find you don't care if you make a spectacle. If the crew didn't know why the ship stopping at this shitty port before, the gossip spread fast enough to cover it. You've gotten a few extra sympathetic glances over the week, but mostly everyone is refusing to look at you. Looking at Vek is kind of a requirement of living on the ship, but you're maintenance. Practically invisible.

Their face and neck are flushed a deep green, richer and darker than their usual color. After they set you down, their face falls, pulled down by gravity and something heavier as they look out the viewing window towards the port.

"Let's get ready."

Walking down the ramp to the port feels like a death sentence, until you spot the group of five blue Onens huddled together, waving excitedly at you step onto the port. They're too far away for your translator to pick up specific words, but you can still hear the excitement in their watery language as they talk amongst one another. You switch on the secondary translator at your throat as you approach, offering a hand in greeting, but no smile so you don't scare them with your teeth.

"Thank you for meeting with us."

One of the Onen grabs your hand, their non-Newtonian form first a solid as they squeeze and then a curl of gelatinous goo that settles over your skin. They speak a few words before the translator picks up the rest.

"--a wonderful thing that you give to us, we have raised many of this kind before so don't you worry a bit, they will have all the attention and food they could desire and--"

The Onen is cut off by another of their group, who gestures to their melting hand, currently making its way down your arm. They make a gurgling noise, likely one of surprise, before the whole thing peels off of you with a wet schlocking sound. The previous Onen waves their hand in a gesture of respect, their gaze solid and comforting.

"You are very brave for doing this."

You try not to grimace. Doubt is worming it's way into your mind like a fungus, and you want to step back and away from the group. These aliens raise other young as part of their religion, taking in anything no questions asked. What if there's other species there that these young don't get along with? And not all Onen are altruistic. They could be taking the eggs to eat them for all you know.

But then one of them pulls out a picture communicator, and passes it over the shoulder of the one in front. It works similar to a tablet on the ship, allowing you to swipe through photo after photo of all of them with various hatchlings and young. Every picture oozes happiness, you even catch them sitting in the twin suns with eilki hatchlings. And a big family who could give them the attention they deserve. No egg eating to be found.

Your hand falls over your front pocket where you tucked the capsule, and you force yourself to say, "So how do we, uh, how do we do this?"

One of the Onen turns their liquid eyes to Vek. "They are far enough along, yes?"

Vek speaks up, their voice tight. "They're able to maintain an internal temperature. When they begin to hatch, simply open to capsule."

They nod their head to you, and you pull the capsule out of its hiding place.

"Wonderful!" One of the Onen remarks, hands reaching out to grab it but you hesitate, tucking it into your chest.

"I…" You're stuck, frozen. There has to be something you're missing. But this is the right choice. This is the right choice. You just need to move. "I don't…"

Vek steps into you, allowing you to subtly lean into their weight. They squeeze your shoulder in reassurance. "It's okay."

Slowly, in halting movements, you stretch out your arm like you're waiting for the capsule to explode. Just as slowly, with great care and steady hand, the Onen places their palm underneath as support, and waits patiently for you to finally let go.

Releasing your fingers feels like cracking your bones, but at the same time, as you watch all the Onen's expressions fall to the capsule and soften from simple patience complete and utter awe, the weight that's been hanging over you for so long lifts like a veil from your shoulders. It had you covered like a shroud, fraying your nerves with worry and despair over the unknown. But now you know they're going to be okay, and despite the gnawing hole in your chest, you can finally breathe. The Onen are perfect, you couldn't have chosen better yourself. You fruitlessly wipe at the trail of tears as they profusely thank both of you, and you forget clearing your face altogether when you watch them all walk away. The translator picks up pieces of their conversations--ideas for names, the best food. Those little shits are going to grow up so fuckin' loved.

They round the corner, and you're surrounded by patrons again. Vek pulls you into another bone-crushing hug, their breathing is short and they've turned that dark green all over. They feel solid, stable like always, something you've both needed throughout this whole ordeal.

"This sucks," your voice is muffled by their heavy jacket, but your message comes across all the same.

Vek huffs through their nose. "I know," and their hand falls across your shoulder as you head back to the ship.

***

It's a shitty week all around, between your own head and the ship pretty much falling apart all at once. Vek hadn't been faring much better, dragging their feet and muttering commands like the wind had been sucked from their sails. So you blame your rash decision on emotional turmoil, and pulled them into your room for something quick. But quick turned into desperate and needy, built up tension bleeding out of your every move as Vek fell back into harsher habits.

But a distraction was what you both needed. Your head is more clear, and you've cried enough for the past week. Vek's breathing is even underneath you, finally calm after so many days on edge between hysteria and depression. Their direction was welcome, concrete words for you to follow between bouts of the kindness you'd gotten so used to over the weeks. They'd kissed the claw marks they left on your thighs and your heart melted.

Now your quarters are dark and quiet, trapping you in a liminal space where the outside world doesn't exist anymore. It leaves space for thoughts to flow, emotions on their heels but no longer as big, no longer as unmanageable. A question that had been sitting in the back of your mind makes itself present.

"Would you ever…want to be a parent?"

Vek glances at you sidelong. "I'd rather not go through this whole ordeal again."

"No, I mean…" You waffle for a moment too long. Vek grabs your chin in their hand and forces you to make eye contact. "I guess…"

Their eyes glow against the dark. "Yes?"

"To keep." The rest of the implication is in your voice, you hope.

They release your jaw, turning back and laying flat. Their face shifts into a darker hue--in the low light you can't for sure tell which, but you have a guess they're turning purple. "I understood that you do not want young."

"I mean, not right now. But…maybe someday?"

"Do not compromise yourself for me."

"I'm not." You press your hands flat to their chest. "I always thought I'd be alone. Raising them, I mean. And that would be a disaster. Absolute fuckery of a parent. But with you…I don't think it would be so bad. I'll never want, like, a million of them like we had. But…maybe just one? Someday? I dunno." You fiddle with your hands. "We're…kind of good together."

Vek lays their hands on top of yours, stilling them as they look at you. "You're considering this."

You flush. "I-I'm just talking."

The hands over yours wrap around your fingers, and they flick their tongue to your lips. "You would make a fine parent."

You feel like you're turning purple under their gaze. "In the mean time though…Keep taking those blockers?"

"You tell me when to stop. And if that day never comes, I will simply have you all to myself."

You smile into the hug they offer. "Sounds like a plan."

#my writing #sfw.#alien x reader #alien partner #alien romance #monster fucker #monster romance #exophillia #teratophillia #i hope it's polished enough i really want this to do justice to the concept #i tried to be nuanced in the take and i hope it doesn't just come off as inconsistent #when I say this concept had a chokehold on my brain for the past 48 hours i mean #i was being deprieved of oxygen until i finished it #my entire working title for this was Juno (in space)#that and the tagline i was thinking 'giving them their best shot' was driving me insane #because i KNEW it was FROM SOMETHING but i couldn't think of WHAT #until it clicked and i shouted Out Loud ONCE UPON A TIME #Fantasci

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lost-and-ephemeral · 3 months

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hii can i request angst for love and deepspace, reader and mc are different ppl. our boys made plans with reader but forgot and left them hanging to hangout with the mc instead 😞

Series: In Her Shadow, pt.1 (ft. main trio)

Part 1 | Part 2

It feels like you've never been enough for him.

Pairing: Xavier x reader, Zayne x reader, Rafayel x reader (seperate)

Tags: angst, hurt no comfort, reader is not MC, reader and guys are dating

A/N: Thanks for your request, sweetheart! Hope it doesn't look too OOC.

Part 1 | Part 2

-`♡´- MASTERLIST -`♡´-

Xavier

Your relationship with Xavier could be called ideal, if not for one nuance.

His colleague, who takes up much of his attention.

There were times when he'd come home and talk about her with such excitement that you'd start to feel like a third wheel. But usually afterwards Xavier would apologize and say that no matter how strong his colleague was, you would still be the best for him.

And you'd like to believe that. Until he forgot about dinner with you because of her.

You've planned a perfect evening and cooked everything he loved so much, knowing how tired he might come back after a mission. Only for him to never show up this evening.

You've been waiting, and waiting, and waiting. Feeling how your heart was breaking even more with each passing minute. Maybe something bad had happened? Maybe he was hurt?

You texted him, only to get back, "Don't worry, I'm fine, my colleague just invited me to the cafe after our mission."

No apologies, no regrets. It seems that he just forgot about you and your plans together.

For a while you were silently sitting in your living room, staring at the phone screen. It was hard to describe all these feelings that were bubbling up inside you. Jealousy, anger. You didn't even bother to remind him about your dinner together and just put all the dishes away in the fridge.

Since when did she become more important than you?

Zayne

You always knew about Zayne's childhood friend. But you couldn't even imagine that she would make you feel so unwanted.

You had plans for today while your lover had the day off. As a cardiac surgeon, Zayne was busy most of the time and would come home late, completely exhausted. Of course, you wanted to spend every free day with him.

Except for one thing.

His childhood friend constantly overshadowed you. Well, you could understand why that was happening. After all, their friendship (or was it more than that already?) had been going on for years, and you couldn't stop Zayne from seeing her.

But…

Sitting alone in the restaurant, at the table you'd booked together, you barely held back tears as you stared at the message marked 'unread'.

When Zayne didn't appear in time, you were surprised. He was always so punctual, what was wrong this time?

But when you asked him where he was, he replied, "Sorry, she asked me to visit an old candy store with her, I'll be back in a few hours," and you realized he'd completely forgotten about you.

And your last message went unread.

"Zayne, but we made a reservation for today."

You sat alone for so long that people started to squint in your direction. The only option was to get up and leave the restaurant before your heart was completely shattered.

And so you did.

Rafayel

Usually Rafayel's studio was always open for you, so you could come to see him anytime.

But as it turned out, you weren't the only one he welcomed with open arms, day or night.

Today was your day off and you were planning to visit Rafayel so you could help him with something in his studio. He asked you to come in the first place. Usually that meant he just wanted to see you and was looking for any excuse, even the silliest one.

But instead you were met with a locked gate.

At first you thought it was just another joke, that Rafayel would come out and let you in, yet some time passed, and you continued to stand there alone. You tried to call him, but it was unsuccessful. No matter how long you waited, no one answered.

Finally you decided to call Thomas to ask him if something important had happened. Maybe Rafayel once again forgot about his own exhibition and had left in a hurry.

But it turned out you were the only one who had been forgotten.

"He said he was going to buy new paints with his bodyguard," Thomas explained. "Or something like that. Better not wait for him until evening, he's unlikely to be back before that time."

Devastated, you stood there for a while longer, thinking about his 'Ms. Bodyguard' who was spending more and more time with your beloved. It wasn't the first she took him away from you.

But this was the last straw.

You turned around, heading back home and desperately holding back tears.

It wasn't fair.

#love and deepspace x reader #love and deepspace #love and deepspace xavier #love and deepspace zayne #love and deepspace rafayel #rafayel x reader #zayne x reader #xavier x reader

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sprout-fics · 9 months

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EM I am begging u for more Omergaverse with all of the world's sprinkles and cherries on top

This has been a long time coming BUT since I've had several people ask I shall provide additional thoughts on the matter

Poly Omegaverse TF141 Headcanons

(Poly TF14 x F! Omega Reader)

(Part Two: The Pack)

Tags: Omegaverse, Alpha/Beta/Omega dynamics, Hidden designations, Alpha! John Price, Alpha! Simon 'Ghost' Riley, Beta! Kyle 'Gaz' Garrick, Omega! John 'Soap' MacTavish, Omega F! Reader, Group dynamics, Poly TF141, SoapGhost, PriceGaz, Heat/Rut cycles

Masterlist

So lemme start by again reiterating that I am certain of these men's designations

Price is an alpha, always has been. He's a captain, he's a leader, he's extremely skilled by there's also a violence in him that grows dangerous when it threatens something he's sworn to protect. Very Alpha instincts

Simon is an alpha too, built like one to match. He's big, muscular, dark and stormy. He doesn't pay much attention to his designation, but Simon in a rut is a dangerous thing. He's a whiplash of emotion and need that turns to hunger

Soap, being an omega, hid his designation for many years of his service before joining the 141. He, like you as an omega, knows all too well the bias and prejudice against 'weak' omegas in the military. The fact that he's now TF141's resident demolitions expert is an immense sense of pride for him, defying all the things he's been told about how omegas cant achieve the things he has

Two alphas and an omega is a pretty potent mix, which is where Gaz comes in. He's the soothsayer, the diplomat, and though he's prone to being very tongue in cheek sometimes, he also provides a calm for the group that solidifies the bonds involved. He provides a softer edge to Price's sharp leadership that you and the others appreciate

Also, because I'm weak for poly141, I think there's additional nuances to their relationships as well

It's pretty clear early on that Soap and Ghost are a thing. Soap needles his alpha and Ghost is entirely too weak to his charms. Soap knows how to handle Ghost best when he's in a mood, rut or otherwise, enough so that Gaz has joked before about Soap being Ghost's 'handler'

(He only made the joke once because the look Ghost gave him was enough to make him lay ide awake with a knife under his pillow that night)

Price feels a certain amount of protection over Soap as well, partly due to loyalty and partly due to alpha instincts of protecting an omega on his team. Ghost allows it only because he deeply trusts Price, had seen him save the life of his mate more than once. As much as Price and Soap are involved, there's always a bit of an air that Soap was Ghost's first

Granted, Ghost is also fairly protective over Gaz as well. He sees Gaz as part of their pack, a needed component to the bonds they share. It takes a while, but Ghost becomes used to giving Gaz some needed physical touch, and doesn't complain when Soap invites Gaz into a cuddle puddle

Price treats Gaz as if he were his own, because he is. He didn't just take the sergeant under his wing, he took him into his heart too. Gaz's endearing loyalty is a hard thing to find, and Price knows the beta will follow him anywhere if he asked. So he treats him just as well, gives Gaz almost all the things the younger man hopes for in his mate

Gaz and Soap are a pair, and definitely get up to trouble if they are left by themselves. The nonsense is usually Soap's idea, but Gaz is an enabler no matter how much he tries to deny it. Price and Ghost have had to scruff their sergeants on more than one occasion like naughty pups

Between the four of them it's easy for them to divide up into pairs, but there's strong ties that connect them all in varying degrees of complexity, but also trust

Heats and ruts are an entirely different topic

It's made all the more complicated by the fact that the team all have irregular deployments. So ruts and heats aren't always synchronized. Stress is a major factor in altering cycles, and despite the time together, it's not often that they overlap

Soap is used to dealing with heats on his own prior to joining TF141, but has to be reminded by Gaz it isn't healthy long term to do so by himself. It becomes less of a problem once Ghost enters the picture (They literally have to be locked away on a far section of base when their cycles sync because good God)

Even so, Ghost often does alone missions, so there are times when he can't be of much help. He and Price have a long sit-down come to Jesus meeting with Soap where they agree Price will step in as needed. After the first few times the boundaries become a little looser as they get comfortable with each other

Likewise, Gaz acts as intermediary when Soap is unavailable. He's eager to please, but requires some gentler handling than Soap, who thrives off being tossed around in bed. Soap teaches some tips and tricks to gentling both alphas, but especially Simon

It's not uncommon outside of cycles for the boys to get fall into bed either

Gaz and Soap love having fun in bed when they can. Gaz loves getting Soap from his shit-eating, snarky grin into burying his face in the pillows, shaking and pleading, and likewise Soap enjoys treating Gaz as well as he deserves

Price and Ghost having sex is a fairly rare occurrence, and often a carefully constructed one due to their designations. Price recognizes Ghost needs some very specific attention in regards to being topped in bed, which he is more than happy to provide. I personally headcanon that Price doesn't enjoy being topped much, but will do it for Gaz to make him happy

Ghost and Gaz is an entirely different matter. Ghost recognizes Gaz is very different than Soap in bed, and requires different handling. Gaz recognizes that sex with Ghost is intense. A little overwhelming, but always leaves him very satisfied by the end

Price, on the other hand, and Soap? God help him

Soap is a brat, and he knows it. Ghost puts up with it to some degree, but Price has none of it. He knows how to treat Soap right, but he also knows how to make him behave. Simon joins on more than one occasion just to enjoy the sight of Soap realizing he can't pull the same tricks with Price that he can with Ghost

The entire pack is built on communication and trust, and though it takes time for them all to settle into it, the four are more than happy to be each other's mates.

#call of duty imagine #call of duty #call of duty mw2 #omegaverse cod #poly tf141 #I'll write another one of these that's more reader focused but I honestly love exploring the nuances of poly141 #omegaverse #a/b/o dynamics #drabbles #headcanons

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captainmera · 7 months

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i never realised just how much tgb had changed how i thought about the characters (mostly vee) until yesterday when i was re-looking over my toh fan-art. You wrote them so well that i forgot that it wasnt all in the show. like how vee and gus weren't shown to being best friends, vee never got to be angry/shocked by hunter or just willow still holding a little grudge against amity. They are just cool details and im so clad they were added! ps your great

Thank you! Wow that's very flattering! I'm glad you are enjoying it!

I really like Vee, and the more I think about the gang's time in the human-realm, the more I sit back in my chair and think "Ah man, these arcs are really necessary and interesting though.."

Vee also holds a lot of plot, as a basilisk. We can speculate what the reason is that they were extinct, for example (grimwalkers were extinct too).

Wat I really enjoy about TOH's characters are how easily and smoothly they weave into each other's themes and arcs. Their personalities and histories makes them all perfect friends to both build them up and break them down. It's a chefs kiss.

Vee is no different! The set-up for her character was perfectly slotted in to what the other characters needed for their time in the human-realm. And the theme I think the human-realm was supposed to embody.

The demon-realm arc for Luz was a hero's journey, but because of the foil of the trope, and that the point was that: there is no hero/chosen one actually, and the rebels didn't make it in time like in the books, and just because it's a different realm it didn't mean Luz could escape - escapism is temporary.

Dana has said grief and hope are core elements of the story, and she chose to tell it through a foiled trope of being chosen/hero's journey, layered with a religious trauma lens.

To me, looking at Luz as the main character, means looking at her as a nerdy girl in need of escapism, wanting to find purpose, and avoiding her emotions about her dad's passing.

The return to human-realm would be, for Luz, a turning point where TOH turns from being about a hero's journey and a journey about the steps of grief and healing - at the end of it, she will find the light.

Vee, to me, is kind of like a new take on the guide character. She is not a guide, in the sense that she has all the answers, but rather all the truths.

She was right when she told Luz she had everything and still chose to run away. They're not the same. Vee is also a lot better than Luz at being normal and fitting in, something Luz has been playing off and avoiding facing. Luz sees herself as being different as a bad thing, she tried to run away to a place where "weird" was normal and that didn't work out. Now she's back home and feels that it's all her fault bad things happened, because she is herself. And the person she is is different. And different didn't mean special, just different. Of course she's depressed.

The same is true for all the other characters. Vee gets to reflect their truths too, simply by being crafted, narratively, into being the guide.

Hunter gets to face his actions as the GG, come to terms with the nuances of his bad actions, whatever reason he committed what he did. Find forgiveness not just from Vee but himself too. He gets to start over, just like her. She shows him it's possible.

Gus gets someone to share his dream with, his love and enthusiasm for the human realm. A place that Vee feels is more home than where she came from. Gus gets to grow as a person, both morally and intelligently. As does Vee, she gets somebody who shows her that she doesn't just have to be a refugee, she can have a purpose here. She can be an ambassador.

Willow was set up to have an arc where she mistook her newfound magical and physical strengths (she is working out a lot in canon after she changed track), for inner strengths. Willow is a sensitive girl, and a bit of a berserk (I mean she was willing to burn her own mind just to hurt Amity). Willow having to face Vee, who isn't physically stronger than her but is significantly further down the road of being internally strong, is something Willow can learn from. Perhaps even have conflict with! (but more so a conflict with herself than with Vee, really.)

With Amity, Vee has a simpler role. I think to Amity it's more so showing that it's possible to live in the human realm, and giving her hope that going back and forth is a future for everyone who wishes to do so. Creatively speaking, I think Amity and Vee more so to bounce off one another for the plot, rather than character growth or decline.

Camila, I think, is the most interesting. Because she has now spent approximately a year with Vee, half of it thinking she was Luz and having feelings about her daughter having changed so much, the line "I'm glad youre still creative" comes to mind. As well as the terror of losing Luz again. But also, because she has had her own unseen arc and development with Vee, and them having bonded into a foster family that we never got to see glimpses of, it goes without saying that Camila has already done the internal work to take on more kids if that's necessary. I think she saw these kids by her door and thought "yep. They're mine now too." Vee, I think, is interesting to toss into the family dynamic between Luz and Camila, who seemingly are misunderstanding one another significantly. Vee sees them both, and can be a voice of reason when it comes to it. Or if it would come to it.

ANYWAY MY RANTS ARE LONG. IM DONE. THANKS FOR READING.

#TOH #the owl house #toh vee #vee noceda

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heartbreakprincewille · 1 year

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Masculinity In Young Royals

So, in honour of Ke Huy Quan and the team of Everything Everywhere All At Once sweeping the Oscars(been crying about it since morning), I was watching this BRILLIANT video essay(check it out it's so well thought out!) about Waymond(Ke's character) and this gave me thoughts about Young Royals as well, because hyperfixations go hand-in-hand, right? :)

Masculinity, and especially different portrayals and aspects of its prevalent notions is a theme brilliantly explored in the two seasons of Young Royals. I wanted to talk about some characters, and this list will progress from worse to better(not using the word perfect because nuance > perfection).

Note: The traits I will discuss further are not restricted to just a cis or male perspective, anyone can exhibit these traits, but since assertion of masculinity is a constant spectacle in Young Royals, I will associate some traits with it.

1. Vincent

Vincent, especially in S2, embodies the worst traits on the masculinity spectrum, and since his character is understandably not offered the privilege of nuance, he comes off as this typical, toxic, sort of "alpha-male" character, especially after he's elected as the prefect and Rowing Captain. He constantly bullies others, especially Simon, tries to enforce the hierarchy of privilege and class firstly through August and then by himself. As soon as he sees an opportunity shown by Wilhelm to take control in his hands, he doesn't take much time to betray his "friend", August(although August of all people getting betrayed is certainly irony at its best). He kinda reminds me of the Royal Court in some ways- their presence furthering the divide of tradition and social systems in their respective environments.

2. August

The only reason August is not placed higher than Vincent in this list is the privilege of nuance August is provided with throughout the story. This nuance is what sets him apart in the narrative, but is also the thing which dooms him as a character.

August is misogynistic, sexist, classist, obsessed with power and privilege and feels entitled to both of them, set to further the class divide just like Vincent. He stokes his ego like fire, and if someone tries to cross him, he does not hesitate to burn them with the flames, like Wilhelm exposing his money issues and August violating Wilhelm and Simon's privacy in return. He's manipulative, he's calculative, he knows how to scheme things in his favour(failed attempts, though) and he's just a walking red flag of a person. He also falls around the worse side of the spectrum of masculinity.

But, he is offered nuance by the narrative. In S1, it's in the form of familial and personal issues: his dad killing himself, financial problems, addiction issues and possible issues of body dysmorphia. In S2, through his relationship with Sara, we are shown a different side of him- a side that is capable of being vulnerable, capable of being soft, and this almost sparks this hope within the audience that maybe August can change a little, for the better.

But then he's offered a chance of power and his hamartia is revealed to the audience: his inability to change. The greatest tragedy (which is also its brilliance) with August's character is he cannot change for the better. Even if he tries to. He can have opprtunities to grow, but it will be a Herculean labour for him to take advantage of those opportunities and actually change. He is so deeply entrenched in his perceptions of toxic masculinity and power and lost in his conceited, privileged worldview that it's quite hard for him to see the light at the end of the tunnel. And it's what sets him apart in the narrative- despite all his nuance, he is still a terrible person at his core. The nuance is just what separates him from all his shallow and one-dimensional preceding antagonists of the past.

3. Nils

Nils brings a neutral perspective to the extreme hyper-masculine and cishet dynamics upheld by August and Vincent. He's revealed to be queer in S2, but chooses to be discreet about it- which gives him a chance to build solidarity with both his cishet peers(Vincent and August) as well as a fellow queer person (Wille). He's not dismissive of Wilhelm's queerness, but he believes it to be something "better behind close doors". He's one of the few people who actually acknowledges Wilhelm and Simon's relationship, but is also dismissive of it, mainly because of the difference in their social standings. He's devoid of the typical "heteronormative" traits associated with masculinity, especially in S2, but he still uphelds the toxic class hierarchy and privilege.

4. Simon

Simon is a quite interesting character to me on this list because he subverts these traits in a very unique way.

Usually canonically gay characters in media are often stereotyped to possess "feminine" traits, which is NOT a bad thing at all, BUT mostly the portrayal of such characters usually leans more towards the mockery of the "feminine" traits, rather than something which strengthens the queerness of that character.

Simon is actually very different from this famous rendition of gay characters- he's actually very masculine in his behaviour. He exhibits two typical masculine behaviours in general:

1. "Man Of The House", or taking the mantle of emotional(and sometimes financial) stability in a house in one's own hands. He often takes matters in his own hand, especially when Sara says or does something that disrupts the peace of their little family. It's interesting because despite being the youngest person in the family, Linda subconsciously lets him take the mantle on his shoulders, without realizing how heavy it can be. And consequenty, it brings us down to the second trait:

2. "Suppressing emotions", or avoiding being vulnerable in public spaces or with people one loves and trusts. Simon constantly shoves what he's feeling deep in his heart, he refuses to break open in front of people, in front of Wille(S2 E6 gun scene) and would go to lengths to maintain a facade of "everything's fine!" even if he's breaking inside. It makes sense because his backstory alludes to hesitation to open up to people and it can be possibly related to his familial trauma, but it's still interesting nevertheless because he shows incredible emotional maturity throughout the story, much more than his predecessors on this list. He's devoid of both the toxic traits of heteronormativity and elitist behaviour associated with "masculinity" in Young Royals, but he still possesses a different set of problems associated with orthodox masculinity.

5. Wilhelm

Wilhelm is, in my opinion, the closest example to what is emerging as the new definition of "masculinity" in the current media. Wilhelm, through his immense emotional journey and growth in the two seasons, subverts all the traits of masculinity displayed by his predecessors in the list with grace and humility.

He's not obsessed with upholding traditions and asserting heteronormativity like Vincent and August, he is quite indifferent to it in S1, the only "compulsion" he feels to do so is immediately after Erik's death in S1, which he quickly overcomes as well. His "revenge" attempts on August by pulling rank and exercising his privilege stems from a feeling of injustice and anger rather than something he enjoys or feels the need to practice at all.

August's hamartia is Wilhelm's strength. Wilhelm, unlike August, displays great capacity to change for the better, which he constantly does throughout the story. Love knocks on both of their doors as an opportunity to grow, to change for the better, and while Wilhelm embraces it, August slaps the door shut on its face.

Unlike Nils, neither Wilhelm's queerness was never given a chance to be discreet in the first place, nor he ever felt the need to do so. The idea of keeping his and Simon's relationship a secret was more of an idea subconsciously conceived by Kristina in Wilhelm's head rather than his own desire to be secretive.

Wilhelm even subverts the traits displayed by Simon in this regard- the position of the "Man Of The House" falls on him in the form of "Crown Prince of Sweden", and although he understandably struggles with the role initially, by the end of S2, he consciously embraces the role with grace and humility. Compared to Simon, Wilhelm wears his heart on his sleeve, he is not afraid to express his true emotions to the people he love and trusts, and even to strangers.

#WHEW this got long #but yeah #young royals #prince wilhelm #simon eriksson #august horn #vincent young royals #nils young royals #feel free to disagree

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mercurytrinemoon · 4 months

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A lil guide to why you're not identifying with your natal chart

I've been thinking of writing this post for a few years now because this is one of the most common issues that people have when studying their charts and I feel like there's a lot of misconception around the topic sooooo I hope I can give you guys some ideas.

BIAS

As simple as that, people often have issues with taking a step back and really thinking about their life in relation to their charts. This is why astrology consultations (as opposed to reports) are often more advised. For most people, the way they are and the way their lives are is "normal", especially when we talk about things that are correlated with upbringing and culture. But also, your everyday life.

Just to give an example, I was once studying zodiacal releasing of my sister and I told her "seems like your peak period lasted from your childhood up to your late teens". She rolled her eyes and said that if that was her peak period then her life's a failure. But let me tell you how her teens went: she was super popular, everyone had a crush on her, one of her tattoos got an award at an international tattoo convention, she was one of the best dancers in her ballet school, she also has a brief history of being a metal singer and kind of by pure chance performed at Poland's Woodstock (now Pol'and'Rock - if you know, you know). I am probably missing something but my point is: she cannot look objectively at her life, for her that's just a normal teenage experience. But also, sometimes people's current aspirations often don't align with their past aspirations so when they look back, most events seem bland to them. And that is the case for a lot of folks.

Everyone has that friend who's always like: "I'm nothing special blehhh" and you just sit there and think of all their talents and accomplishments and just scratch your head. Or that person who always complains about having no money, yet they can live comfortably and can afford most of the things they want. And this goes for everything: talents, personality traits, home life and so on…

Remember, often times it's hard to really take a look at yourself in the mirror. And even if you do, you still see a flipped version of yourself.

MISINFORMATION, SIMPLIFICATION AND STEREOTYPES

I think this is a big one. And especially if your source of knowledge comes from the internet. When you learn about the signs and their characteristics, it's crucial to understand the nuances - and people pretty much always forget about it.

Every sign can have a certain trait: being driven is not exclusive to Aries, being sensual is not exclusive to Taurus, being talkative is not exclusive to Gemini and so on - it's all about the motives and the background of when and how that trait manifests.

For example, sure, one of the negative traits of Taurus is stubborness - because it's an earth sign and it's fixed. But Taurus is more than that, it's not just a one-ingredient sign. No sign is a one-ingredient sign. MOST people will be stubborn in some way: Aries will be stubborn if you won't let them do what they want, Gemini will be stubborn if you try to undermine their ideas and say they're wrong, Cancer will be stubborn about their grievances or about holding on to things tried and trusted and so on…

REMEMBER (and I want this plastered everywhere): no sign has the monopoly for anything. This goes the other way around: just because a Virgo was rude towards you, doesn't mean all Virgos will be rude towards you. NOT ALL *INSERT SIGN*.

Everything has a spectrum and everything has its place. Most Aries Suns are not full of anger and toughness all the time but maybe they love video games and they don't even realize that they're relieving their negative feelings by shooting everyone in Call of Duty? Or their job requires some martian energy, movement and discipline? Or they're very protective over the opressed ones and they're not afraid to fight for them when needed?

(And so yes, you probably do have that trait you claim you don't have in a certain context).

ASPECTS TO THE PLANETS AND OTHER INFLUENCES

"I don't feel like an Aries Sun", says a person with a Saturn square to their Sun, a Mars in Pisces and a Taurus rising. Well, first of all, I can guarantee you that you do act like an Aries in some ways but second of all - if your fiery and bold passionate lil heart is dimmed and harassed by Saturn, your Sun's dispositor is in a dreamy and passive Pisces and your Sun is in the 12th house AND on top of that, that slow Taurus rising is really clashing with cardinal Aries, then yes, this can make sense.

What can block or drastically alter a planet's infuence? Squares and oppositions, a contrasting stellium in another sign or house, sometimes being unaspected or occupying a house that is in aversion to other important points in the chart (so it's inconjunct), especially to the 1st house - you won't "see" your planets if they're in the 2nd, 6th, 8th or 12th house. Alternatively and interestingly, a planet (or more) occupying the 1st house may infuence and distort your view of things where you may not feel or seem to others like a "typical" exponent of your sign. Good example was when people weren't believing Halsey that she's a Scorpio rising - and with a stellium in her 1st house I don't blame them - her persona is influenced by Mercury, Venus and Jupiter, which is a pretty eclectic mixture.

HOUSE PLACEMENTS AND WHAT PLANETS "BELONG" TO

Not every planet talks about you because not every house talks about you. I've done two huge articles on house meanings and you can check them out here: PART 1 & PART 2, but to quickly sum them up:

1st: you 2nd: your posessions 3rd: your siblings/cousins, early education and neighbourhood 4th: your family and parents 5th: your children, sex life and fun activities 6th: your employees, pets and health 7th: your partnerships and open enemies 8th: your shared resources and inheritance 9th: your higher education, beliefs, travel 10th: your career and reputation 11th: your friends and networking 12th: your subconscious, loss, succlusion, sickness

So, as you can see, if you, for example, look at the planets in your 3rd house then they are largely talking about your family members or even neighbours. Have loud Aries Mars in the 3rd house but you're rather introverted and like to be left alone? Well, are your neighbours annoying? Is your neighbourhood a rather loud or even unsafe place? Do you feel a dislike towards your siblings cause they're always obnoxious when you're trying to relax and immerse yourself in your favorite book? Are your siblings sporty? Well, that's your Mars in the 3rd.

Have Jupiter in the 3rd house but you don't travel too much, you were never top of the class and you're shy? BUT how about your siblings, cousins or neighbours? Or maybe your school environment was very preachy or you even attended a catholic school? Look at the bigger picture because, newsflash, even your natal chart doesn't revolve all around you.

TIMING

If we're talking more about circumstances and events, this is a very important point to understand. You're not born with a load of experience and unless you're in your elderly age, you cannot ever say that a certain placement doesn't apply to you. You have Saturn in the 7th? Well maybe you went through that ONE bad breakup/divorce in your life - obviously you're not going through it for the eternity. You have Jupiter in the 7th house yet you struggle in relationships? But then you get into one in your 30s or even 40s and it's with the most jupiterian person in the world and you're happily together for the rest of your lives. You have Sun in the 10th house but you're whining that you're not acknowledged or popular or whatever? Well yeah, you're just being annoying, you know that not everyone can be a teenage superstar influencer or whatever - climbing the social ladder usually takes decades so don't even start with this one.

Nothing is constant. Things require time and that time is often influenced by, you've guessed it, ✨timing techniques✨ lol. So progressions, profections, transits, time lord periods etc. It may be that you won't even live enough to actually experience it. Some gain acclaim after they die, soz.

Other times certain events and traits only apply at certain moments in your life. I've mentioned my sister and her peak period in her teens. Well, she also happen to have Jupiter - her ascendant ruler - in the 3rd house, which may imply that she had the most luck and positive experiences during her school years. Same with other houses, If you have planets in the 7th house they may only be active while you're in a relationship. If you have planets in the 9th they may only activate when you're abroad or during your time in college. If you have planets in the 10th they may only switch on when you're on a high position career-wise. Not every house speaks of moments in life per se, but some do so keep that in mind.

WRONG HOUSE SYSTEM

Some of you stubborn lil kiddos might hate what I'm about to say… but if you're using the default placidus, I do encourage you to ✨open your mind✨ and check out your chart using the whole sign system. It's usually more straightforward and pretty much always more accurate from a constructive point of view.

✨ I GO MORE IN-DEPTH WITH THINGS LIKE THIS IN MY E-BOOK. ALSO, THE BESTEST ASTRO E-CALENDAR FOR 2024 THAT YOU CAN GET IS AVAILABLE HERE! ✨

#once again #thank you for coming to my ted talk #astrology #mercurytrinemoon #astro notes #astrology notes #astrology observations #astro observations

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rosemarydisaster · 2 months

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I feel like Chani choosing to save Paul through the prophecy would make their reconciliation so much easier. I really dislike Jessica's use of the voice in general but especially at this moment.

It would have been such a great moment of tension with herself, completely devastated by the loss of her Usul. And then she remembers... the tears of the desert spring, a stupid prophecy. She isn't sure that's how it works. The desert spring is supposed to be a metaphor for the ecological change, right? But it is her name and she does feel like crying. She isn't convinced it will work because it's a silly prophecy, but she just has to try.

She springs into action she grabs the water of life and Jessica tries to stop her, probably thinking she's trying to join Paul. But Stilgar, who knows Chani's, name stops her. And Jessica sees her mix the tears with the water of life, she know another drop of it might either kill Paul or bring him back so she let's it happen, hoping for the best. We get some much needed nuance with her character, clearly worried about her son and asking Alia "what have we done?".

Chani, who doesn't believe in religious prophecies nor Bene Gesserit bullshit holds the two drops to Paul's mouth. A part of her simply wants to show everyone how stupid this is, how there's no prophecy, and how they're fanaticism has killed a great man. But then Paul wakes up.

The relief, the horror, the completely upending of her entire belief system... chef's kiss. She isn't sure if this is some Bene Gesserit thing, if Paul was pretending so he could get her to fulfill the prophecy. And then she hears Stilgar's voice "Tears of the desert spring".

Everyone around them drops to worship the Lisan Al-Gaib. Jessica is relieved, Stilgar is overjoyed and she's just confused. Paul tries to hold her, tk kiss her to thank her but she isn't ready. She feels tricked. She has spent her entire life believing one thing and now nothing makes sense.

So she keeps her distance, she tries to resist the prophecy that Paul himself called bullshit but she's confused. She isn't going to abandon her conviction that their savior must be Fremen. She remembers Paul asking in the tent if he's not Fremen enough after passing every test and she doubts.

She fights for the Fremen at the battle for Arrakeen, she does her part and she wonders if she had any choice at all. And then the thing with the princess happens, and she's distraught. Paul reassures her that he will love her as long as he breathes and it comforts her. At least until she remembers how he stopped breathing after the water of life. What's worst, he declares himself an emperor, forcing the old man to kiss his hand like a petulant child. And he threatens to destroy the spice if people don't accept him as their new ruler ...is too much.

She made a promise too, to love him as long as he remained himself. He changed and the most frightening thing is that she still loves him. She needs space, she needs the desert.

This would offer the possibility of Paul finding her and saying "You are angry at me for participating in the prophecy to save this planet but you used it to save me when you thought I was dying". He could try to convince her with that whole "when everything and everyone you love is at stake you'll take whatever chance you get" which is kinda how he locks himself in that specific future in the books.

I don't know they could have a conversation on how things would be different if he had died in Siege Tabur or after the water of life. He would explain to her (and the audience) the narrow golden path, and how the alternatives are so much worse.

I think it would be interesting if Chani comes to the conclusion that she has to end Paul's tyranny out of love, because her Usul would rather die than become a monster. But she pretends to accept Paul's argument (the audience unsure if she does buy it or not). That would set the stage for Dune Messiah much better and have a very interesting dynamic between the two (specially for that ending).

Jessica forcing her doesn't accomplish anything it only confirms for Chani that the Profe y is some Bene Gesserit bullshit (Jessica calls for her and forces her to do it). The reconciliation is going to be so much more difficult after that. Also, for a guy that wants to tell "a bene Gesserit story" the director is misusing Jessica. If they let her be more manipulative (talking to Alia about how the drop from the water of life will trigger the reaction for him to wake up) we could see how the prophecy is planted while allowing the Fremen to believe something magical happened. It would open Chani to her manipulation...but no, she had to scream.

I feel like, for all that they show us Jessica manipulating the religious people, that scene left a lot of people confused. I saw the people at the theater saying "wait so the prophecy is real" which is the last thing you want to do in a Dune adaptation.

What I described would only take two more minutes (and a lot of acting) but I think it would make the themes clearer and make Chani and Jessica a bit more interesting. I liked the movie but this is one of those moments I simply can't understand, specially from a fan of the Bene Gesserit.

#dune spoilers #dune part 2 #dune part two #dune 2 #dune movie #dune #chani kynes #paul atreides #lady jessica #bene gesserit

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alexalessandro · 4 months

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Frederick is not what you think

I saw a lot of people take umbrage with Frederick's new characterization in the train cart scene, but this is setting us up for either misdirect or a deeper nuanced take on Frederick's character.

Remember, they're setting up a parallel between the love Percy knows and understands and the love Annabeth has come to accept.

Percy is our voice for unconditional love. It's why he loves and trusts so fiercely; loyalty is his fatal flaw. He hasn't received much love from the world, but he will hang on with dear life to the love of the few people in his life. He will sacrifice himself for Grover and Annabeth. He will lay down his life on a quest he didn't want for the slight chance it could bring his mom back. He is loyal and stubborn, and he can't, and won't, accept the gods' definition of love and family.

"This is the kind of family the gods are to each other..."

"But at least with the gods you know the rules"

Annabeth is our proxy for every child demigod at camp, for all the campers that drunk down the Kool-Aid camp half-blood and the gods are feeding them. Most of these kids didn't have a Sally in their life. They didn't have someone who loved them and stayed in their corner no matter what. "All that matters is that you're safe... I told him I believe my kid, it was a very short call".

Annabeth has fully bought into the fact that love is conditional, that to be the pride of Athena's offspring, she has to be perfect.

"A monument to perfection... that's how you show Athena your love"

Now... Frederick.

From the train cart scene, we understand that Annabeth felt loved by Frederick and that she was "treated as a gift", but even gifts can be returned.

To argue in favor of Frederick for a second here, the way children of Athena come into this world is extremely jarring for their mortal parent. In the case of most other gods that have normal relations with humans, at least both parties are in favor during the act (one can only hope) or can expect a child as an outcome. With Athena, a child just plops on your doorstep after a nice conversation you had with a woman once and surprise surprise! You're a parent now! Congratulations! No, we do not take receipts.

This doesn't set up the relationship between the kid and the parent to be amazing (just another way that gods keep being inconsiderate of mortals and their children), to Frederick's merit, at least he tries with Annabeth in the series.

Their situation is neither of their fault he knows that, so he reframes Annabeth's arrival as a gift (prompting her to idolize her mom even before she knew she was a half-blood). He tries to be a good parent to Annabeth, but if there's anything that Annabeth's story and the fact that he didn't even try to look for her in the 5 years she's been missing tells us that he wasn't all that grateful for Athena's gift. Yet again, the only instance of love Annabeth has ever known has been conditional. I'll love you until I start a proper family of my own. I'll love you until it becomes inconvenient to go after you.

This leaves Annabeth with only Luke... Even Thalia had her "prove herself".

Thalia was most likely worried about Annabeth's chances of survival if she traveled with her. Annabeth was 7, untrained, traveling with a forbidden child of Zeus, with Hades actively trying to kill them. It makes sense she would try to keep Annabeth at arm's length at first, for both their sakes.

TLDR: In the end, I believe the series is setting up Frederick to be more of a nuanced character. He tried with Annabeth but he let her run away, proving his love to be conditional. I think the series is setting up Annabeth and Percy to be mirrors of each other in the way they perceive and understand love, all to make it all the sweeter and more painful once they discover the traitor's motivations because Percy gets it, but Annabeth won't understand. Annabeth perceiving Frederick's love as genuine and unconditional even though he didn't look for her is essential to set up her worldview of the gods and parental love.

#pjo #percy jackon and the olympians #pjo spoilers #pjo disney+ spoilers #pjo tv #pjo tv show #percy jackson #pjo disney+

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genericpuff · 4 months

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I'm not sure if you've answered this question before but what were some of the things that made you interested in Lore Olympus in the past and at what point did you lose interest?

I adored the art in the beginning, and just like, the really warm-feeling romance that just had me feeling so giddy reading it. There were some red flags in the beginning like the age gap, but I kinda fell for the same mindset of "well they're gods so what does it matter" (obviously I can't in good faith use that argument anymore because if the age gap didn't matter then it either wouldn't exist or wouldn't be brought up in the first place lmao but it took me a while to realize that).

Now, to be fair, LO was also one of my first introductions to webtoons as a format, prior to that I had read mostly manga and left-to-right indie webcomics (i.e. comics that were hosted on their own site) and I was still in the early years of my own development as a writer and artist (I still feel like I'm early in that development tbh) so of course there were undoubtedly a lot of obvious flaws that went over my head (and I was younger and inexperienced so I wasn't as critical of what media I was watching / reading as I am now) but that's been half the fun of catching them now - it's given me a lot more perspective and helped me hone my own skills in my writing by analyzing what's wrong with LO and brainstorming on how those problems can be avoided.

But then there was the Act of Wrath plotline and I was completely sold on it being gold. Anyone who's read my original work knows how much of a SUCKER I am for "dark alter ego" plotlines, I eat that shit up like junk food. But what I like about the dark alter ego tropes is when they're used to explore the subconscious, question one's morals and true identity, etc. That was what I was hoping for and expecting with the AoW plotline in LO - that her "dark self" was gonna be a reflection of how she felt "held back" by her circumstances in the Mortal Realm, and her wrath being something she could use for retribution (in a "do no harm but take no shit" kinda way). Especially with how naive and innocent she was in the beginning, I loved the idea of her slowly coming to terms with her "darker" side and learning not to suppress her emotions until they had nowhere else to go and exploded (which was how I interpreted the AoW).

So when it didn't do that, or even explore an ounce of nuance regarding her relationship with her wrath, I was very disappointed to say the least. When Eris was revealed to be the one who "blessed" her with wrath, that was when the rose colored glasses started to fall off and I realized "wait, does Rachel not have an actual plan for this whole Kore vs. Persephone thing???" And now her wrath is literally just there to... give her the power to bully people?? It just feels so disheartening to see such potential squandered.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not gonna chastise a story if it doesn't go exactly where I want it to go, there would be no fun in that anyways (and that's what fanfiction is for lmao). But when a story is leaving very interesting but connectable breadcrumbs that are VERY clearly leading you somewhere and then just... doesn't, that's when it's disappointing and unsatisfying. LO feels like a "creator vs. the reader" story in the worst way possible, where it's constantly leaving breadcrumbs, getting pissed when the audience "figures it out", so then it overcorrects and tries to "subvert" itself to keep the readers "on their toes"... but the problem is that all it really does is punish the readers for paying attention and investing themselves in the story by giving them a worse story. It's like Rachel's getting mad at people for figuring out a story that she's writing and hinting towards.

And this has been going on for YEARS now, it's like a Shepard tone where it sounds like it keeps getting higher and higher in pitch but then doesn't actually resolve so your brain is just scrambling trying to figure out what in the world it could be "building up to".

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There's nothing. It's not building up to anything. It's just constantly putting down new plot threads that are slightly altered versions of previous plot threads and expecting you to keep following along while it makes a mess of itself. It feels like you're going somewhere but you're actually still just running in place. It's just Rachel never learning how to progress past the middle school writing level of "and then this happened and then this happened and then this happened". Not only is it disorganized writing, but it's just... it's so boring. Nothing's exciting or interesting anymore when it keeps distracting itself with shiny new plotlines and characters that never get resolved.

It's like when you were a kid and thought "man , when I grow up, I'm gonna eat nothing but chocolate cake and ice cream every day forever!" and then you get older and you realize you were being silly because eating nothing but chocolate cake and ice cream every day 1.) isn't good for you and doesn't feel good, and 2.) the appeal and novelty of it wears off if you can have it any time you want, it doesn't feel as special anymore as it did when you were a kid and having those things was a treat.

To compare this back to LO, none of its "reveals" feel like treats anymore, they feel like just another half-assed attempt to keep people interested. It's clickbait.

And don't get me wrong, you CAN totally subvert the breadcrumbs you put down for your audience and go in a completely different direction than where the audience was expecting, but it takes a shitload of skill and thought to do it well. Attack on Titan is one of the best recent examples of a story appearing to completely throw out its original script halfway through, only for that script to actually still be relevant in a very complex and thought out way. Especially when there ARE hints towards the big "twist" that make you go back and rewatch it and realize "WAIT, THEY'VE BEEN GIVING US THE ANSWERS ALL THIS TIME?!?!"

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(it would be TWO MORE FUCKING SEASONS before this ending would make sense, that's fucking GENIUS foreshadowing and in the CREDITS SEQUENCE LIKE ?? IT'S SO BLINK AND YOU'LL MISS IT HOLY SHIT-)

Evidently Rachel does not have that skill and is not willing to put in that thought; maybe she could some day, but I don't think she's learning it on the job as well as she thinks she is.

And it's disappointing as fuck because it could have been so much better than this. Rachel is literally the only one getting in her own way of LO being something truly great.

#lore olympus critical #anti lore olympus #lo critical #ama #ask me anything #anon ask me anything #anon ama

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rainybraindays · 4 months

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I don't like making posts like this, I don't like opening my blog up for people to come and harrass me but oh my god, why does the fandom allow posts like this to get away unscathed?

You don’t have to like Marina. I'll never claim that. You can like or dislike whoever you want.

But I do wonder, if Marina was played by a white woman would we get nearly as many posts like this? Would everyone be as okay with it? Would we have been so quiet about the fact that Ruby Barker was harrassed for this role? Or would there be way more people defending her? Would she suddenly be sympathetic when now shes not?

Why are we all so okay with taking this character with a nuanced story, put in a horrible situation with almost no options and turning her into a villian?

Like did we watch the same show? Did you miss the bit where she doesn't want to find a husband at all and only starts when she thinks shes been abandoned, which she only believes because she gets a forged letter saying she was? Did you not see Portia slap her? Did you not also watch a man old enough to be her grandfather being forced on her?

Lying to Colin wasn't okay, I'm not defending that, but literally tell me what her options were?

The man she loves is dead, but she doesn't even know that she thinks he abandoned her, so she can't reasonably assume Phillip will take responsibility when his brother won't. The only people Portias interested in introducing to her are those she wouldn't introduce to her own daughters. She can't reasonably think Colin will be open to her as a wife since shes pregnant becausethats not the norm. But Colin is, he says he would have married her even knowing. And Colin also doesn't view Marina as a villian, in season two hes sad yeah, but he’s also guilty because he doesn't think she deserved what happened.

This is a nuanced messy situation but no one wants to look at that.

Like you all make it very clear you view her as a whore, because she did a very normal thing and had sex. You all view her as a manipulative snake of a person, when if she was even the Whistledown article wouldn't have been a stop for her because she would have tried to get out of it. You conveniently forget that she almost killed herself in an attempt to abort her children because of her mistreatment post Whistledown article because that takes away from the idea you've concocted that shes some villainous bitch.

But then you turn around and want Penelope to have sexual knowledge that she realistically wouldn't and canonically doesn’t. You praise her for her Whistledown work even though it keeps hurting people she loves and shes lying about doing it.

This is weird, posting about how you can't wait for a character to die, and how you hope the death is - lets be honest here- humiliating, is a bizarre thing to do.

Its even more bizarre to do that, tag the character, and then also tag two ships that really the post really isn't about.

Like why is Polin tagged? Because they're both mentioned? This isn't a polin moment. You don’t talk about them at all in the meat of the post. Why is Philoise tagged? Because she's an 'obstacle' for them? They haven't even met, they aren't mentioned at all, they have nothing to do with this.

And on top of tagging these things you say "don't try and defend her to me" which why would we you clearly wouldn't listen. You follow that with saying "If you like her you probably suck" and claim to have tagged this as anti marina when you didn't. You put this in her main tag and then added "death to marina".

Theres no respect to your peers in the fandom, and clear disrespect to people who do like this character and are actually willing to engage with the character beyond fanon portrayal. Because thats what this is its not even taking her at face value anymore.

You wonder why people dislike this fandom, specifically the polin side of it, and do things like this. We as a community need to improve because stuff like this isn't uncommon, this is just one of the most blatant I've seen.

I'm going to be entirely honest if you follow quotegirl19, or don't see the issues with Marinas portrayal and treatment by the fandom this is not the blog for you.

#rainy talks #yeah I bit the bullet but i feel abit better #bridgerton #marina thompson #colin bridgerton #Penelope Featherington #I'm only tagging them because they're metioned rather prominently (which is how you actually use tags)#polin #for the same reason as stated above #I'm not tagging philoise though I don't think its important enough #marinas treatment in this fandom reeks of racism and misogyny

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swordsandarms · 10 months

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This is a reply in regards to this post, which highlights the high likelihood that, whether people are fine with the author's choices or not, RxL is written by him with romantic nuance as far as the text goes. @sahtinekryze

And I think this fandom really needs to have a honest analysis of the idea of "selfishness" in narrative choices such as this, which is that when it comes to how the whole "duty vs love" scenarios Martin writes, he does not actually writes it with some wide spectrum ranging from selfish to sacrificial. There are usually no other choices than the two.

Could one define the alleged choice of breaking a noble marriage contract that would have negative political influence at the least, had it been the best case scenario (which one would logically assume the two might have hoped for instead of very lots of people dying including themselves) as 'selfish', which in its very definition is doing something for one's self, though it may not be advantageous for others? Yes.

But as I said, Martin doesn't write a middle ground. There's that, or Lyanna marries an unwanted man and is hence forced to have a non-consensual relationship with him, and forced to carry children out of a noncon relationship, so that her male relatives can reap benefits of political power, as well as her groom through her womb. And as shows inspired by these books love to show us very graphic such cases (like Daenerys in GOT, or the storyline given to show!Sansa, or the changes for show!Alicent in HOTD), I am sure fans should have learnt better about the accusations usually thrown at Lyanna in fandom spaces in regards to being another woman marrying against her will in a society where a woman cannot say no, marital rape isn't recognised, and a husband is "just taking his rights": that "this is just being whiny". (There are many other examples in the books; the author is also not holding back on what unwanted or unsuitable marriages mean to women.)

Against the fanon idea that she is some wild, demanding, conceited girl, she doesn't rage, she doesn't bite. She has a tentative, soft spoken conversation with her brother about it and her reluctance in the matter, and is (nicely) dismissed.

Had she not (allegedly, while all is unconfirmed) fallen for the Crown Prince and he for her, there is no one else powerful enough to extract her from her situation (her male relatives having made up their own minds in the matter), nor anyone else to go from where she cannot be recovered by a powerful and connected family and fiance. No one else she could marry/sleep with that wouldn't be shut down and covered (as seen with Tyrion or Lysa) to preserve the higher price for which her womb can be bartered. Just no other viable choice that wasn't the other end of the scale: a woman being sacrificed by men, for men's uses.

As I said at the start, this is simply how Martin writes these conflicts of "mind and heart". He corners the characters. There is no light at the end of the tunnel that isn't also sort of "selfish" and "dumb" looking on the surface.

This can be applied to more such situations in the text-

Catelyn undoes the already precarious state of her son's campaign by releasing their most valuable captive. She has not even a guarantee that her 'selfish' act for love will work. But there are no options she's given. No one else cares to make it a priority to get her daughters back. The only other choice is to let it be and let 2 girls be sacrificed in marriages of ill intent to use their wombs and discard them, unsure if she will find anything left of them but Lannister named babies when this is over. It is "selfish". It is "dumb". Yet she's cornered.

Jon makes the decision to go fight Ramsay Bolton because he's run out of options and he's cornered. Arya is allegedly in the hands of the family that have viciously killed a number of Starks and taken Winterfell. She is 11 and allegedly married. He is made sick at the thought of what is being done to her. He's tried the "lesser" tactics of getting her rescued without being seen as trespassing the status quo of the NW publicly, by sending others for her. But it was always going to come to this. Ramsay guesses (or finds out) that his escaped bride would make it to the Wall. Keeping "peace" and "doing his duty" instead of "being selfish and dumb" is handing over "Arya" himself if she even makes it to appease the Lord of Winterfell, sacrificing a girl to an unwanted marriage meant to use her for her womb and discard her.

There are no actual choices when there is no actual scale in between "selfish and dumb" and the sacrifice of a girl (or, you know, 2,3, as many as Westeros would swallow as it did for millennia for this or that Lord or King to amass and keep power), whether they are Lannisters trying to get Winterfell, or Starks extinguishing the line of the Warg King.

#asoiaf #rhaegar targaryen #lyanna stark #arya stark #jon snow #catelyn stark

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traincat · 10 months

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Kaine connecting with religion but that religion being Catholicism always felt like a wasted opportunity and/or something that still has the potential for a good story? Perfect way to explicitly state Peter's Jewish identity and explore it. Also tbh I think Judaism would be good for Kaine. Yes I'm also Jewish but I swear I'm speaking objectively- it's such a hopeful religion and culture, rooted in struggle and survival in a way that Christianity isn't.

That's a really good insight about survival and Judaism and Kaine, anon. It's like the old joke about every Jewish holiday being "they tried to kill us, we survived, let's eat" but for Kaine it's more like "they tried to kill me, they succeeded, I'm here anyway so now I'm going to order $800 worth of room service." Extremely Jewish of him.

I have complicated feelings about Kaine and Catholicism—though I'm gonna go ahead and say I think comics in general handle Catholicism badly and kind of just treat it like General Christianity or Default Christianity which is I guess what happens when your media empire is founded by Jews.

It's always giving this.

But yeah like honestly I don't think my feelings on Kaine and Catholicism and Kaine and heterosexuality are really that different, where he's aware that these are things you do to Be A Person but doesn't grasp the nuance because he was grown in a vat by the worst man to ever get tenure, so he's trying to connect to something that isn't a good fit for him or that maybe he's not particularly interested in as part of his efforts to be a Real Person and not just Peter Parker's broken clone. Which is really interesting! I don't think that was Yost's intent in Scarlet Spider (2012) when it comes to either Christianity or the Kaine/Annabelle romance, but that's always how it comes off to me on a subtextual level. Kaine is trying to do things the "right way" but he only has a very limited idea of what the right way is, or even that there are other options out there for him. He sees a church, he goes into the church. He sees a girl who is into him, he tries to follow a script where he can't be with her because he's bad news, not because he's not actually interested. (I have a lot of feelings on Kaine's canon romances, such as they are. He's the gay clone.)

And because he's not like Ben and he doesn't have all of Peter's memories, he's sort of awkwardly stumbling around the concept of faith as he sees it in the wider world, without a full understanding of either the nuances of that faith or of his own heritage through Peter. I also feel like even if he did know Peter was Jewish, that might be something he would feel reluctant to embrace unless he was given permission by Peter to share in that with him, because of his complicated feelings on Peter and Ben and his relation to both of them and what he feels he can and can't take away from those connections and what he hasn't earned.

I also do sometimes wonder if Miles Warren was a (lapsed) Catholic and if that's something Kaine picked up through him. That would be something interesting to explore.

#kaine parker #traincat talks comics #*replies #jewish peter parker #by extension

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distort-opia · 1 year

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I have always asked myself why do you ship batjokes? What is the appeal for you with this ship? You like bruce a lot, so why ship him with joker? I am just very, very curious.

Hi! From your question it seems like you associate having a favorite character solely with wanting them to be happy or wanting them to have nice things, which... yes, but also you have to keep in mind that half of Tumblr means this when they say they like a character:

Which I very much relate to, personally. Bruce Wayne is my favorite character of all time, but I specifically like to read/write about him going through the Horrors.

Shipping Bruce with Joker... well. Perhaps you're familiar with Hannibal NBC, and Hannigram? Death Note, and Lawlight? Or more recently, Interview with the Vampire and Loustat? I could list some more enemies-to-lovers, but it's the same principle. Two bastards who deserve each other and should not inflict themselves on anyone else, hand in unlovable hand.

Still, I appreciate that you're asking me this in good faith, so I'll try to explain in more detail. I got long, so I'll put my answer under the cut. Just a heads-up: there's mention of abuse, depression and some discussion of suicidality (stuff that tends to come up with more in-depth talk of Batjokes in comics), so take care.

While the ships I mentioned also have a portion of fandom going "But A is the good guy! Why would he care about B, who kills people and only seems to make them suffer?", that portion is larger when it comes to Batjokes. Bruce Wayne is Batman-- he's supposed to be a hero, the father figure of a large family, a symbol of hope. And there's a lot to be said about a more idealized or fanon version of Bruce, and the gap between it and the one depicted in comics. But I'm mentioning this gap because it tends to be connected with an unwilligness to deal with, or even acknowledge, Bruce's dark side.

Bruce struggles with violent tendencies, with an unbelievable amount of anger, with control issues, with paranoia and self-hatred and issues with intimacy. He's terrifyingly intelligent and also incredibly manipulative when he wants to be. He's canonically been abusive to his adopted children and he's canonically been shown to have quite the sadistic streak. And while I understand why some fans see this as bad writing (to be fair, sometimes it just is), reinterpret parts of it or pretend it doesn't exist... it is there, and it is a pattern. Many of these darker aspects of Bruce's personality are a result of how he's processed his trauma-- refusing to heal is literally the fuel for being Batman. But refusing to face his grief has consequences, and some of them inevitably end up ricocheting off his loved ones; though I am saying this as an explanation, not an excuse.

The way he's been written seems to have spawned two larger attitudes in Tumblr fandom, varying in degree and nuance: either refusing to deal with Bruce's dark side, or only seeing his dark side and hating his character entirely. And obviously, everyone is entitled to their own opinion and preference, as long as they respect others'. But to me personally, it's never been black-and-white. One of the best parts about Bruce's character is the very conflict at the heart of him... because despite everything I mentioned, Bruce always tries to do better. He's also empathetic and compassionate; he hungers for love and for connection, and he constantly tries to help people and do good. In my eyes, that's what Batman is about: never giving up. You fail, but you get back up and you try again. You might be struggling with so many things threatening to drag you under, but you make the effort to do good. To me that's deeply inspirational, specifically because it's not second nature to Bruce.

If you prefer a version of Bruce that doesn't have much of a dark side, Batjokes is likely not something you'll enjoy. Bruce caring about Joker is very much connected to it. He deeply relates to Joker because their identities are both born out of their traumas. They could have become the other, and that's a level of closeness and intertwining that cannot be understated. In the face of their loved ones being taken away, Bruce and whoever Joker used to be made choices in the opposite direction. Bruce chose to force meaning onto the world and be defined by his past. He chose to channel his anger into ensuring no one else goes through what he went through. Joker had the same anger, but he chose to erase his own past and burn the world down instead. He chose to ensure everyone else goes through the same horror he went through, to prove nothing has meaning.

And this is, at the end of the day, the reason why Batman never lets Joker die, even when it doesn't make sense. Joker's existence makes Bruce feel less alone-- and yes, it is very selfish of him to choose this over the lives of others and despite what Joker has done, but it is what it is. I've seen people discredit this notion of Joker being Batman's friend as stupid, because Bruce already has so many allies and such an extensive Family; how could he feel alone? He already has so many relationships, people he cares about and who care about him. But... that's never how it works, is it? You don't choose to feel the way you feel. Bruce loves the people around him, and those relationships ground him in very meaningful ways, but that doesn't make the darkness disappear. He wishes it did. But his choice to be Batman is a choice to keep hurting, like I just described. It sets him apart. And the line it puts him on, the things he's balancing, are things Joker intimately understands. Joker is his shadow and his creation, his negative. Bruce's anger and his sadistic violence get channeled in his relationship with Joker, and the worse Joker gets the better Batman has to become, and viceversa. I see it a bit like magic (and Bruce does too, when he talks about how he's afraid that if Joker disappeared, Gotham would send him someone worse). You cannot perform magic without it exacting a price, and the price for Bruce's good is Joker's evil. Lives are saved, but then lives are taken away.

What I am describing here is the appeal of the ship to me. In many ways, romantic is not nearly enough to describe it; I'm just fascinated by their dynamic, any form it takes. Batman and Joker have been opposites and narrative foils for almost a century, and I'll probably never run out of stuff to analyze (yay!). There's so many stories with them, so many different incarnations of them, so many layers and complications that their dynamic has accumulated, simply by virtue of how old and mythical they have become.

The more accurate description for them is probably soulmates, but the most painful kind-- destined to always meet but to always be at war, never able to kill the other or let the other go, because they are two sides of the same coin. And there's an attraction to not being able to let go, no matter how high the bodies pile up. Bruce can't kill Joker without losing himself, and he can't let Joker die. Joker can't kill Batman or let him die without losing his life's meaning. No matter what, the other is always there. They hate and resent this connection plenty, but at the end of the day, the other's existence is an essential comfort they can't run away from.

And thing is, Bruce sacrifices so much for his crusade as Batman. He sacrifices his very childhood and self, his potential happiness; he distances himself from his loved ones and he pushes them away. He represses as much as he is able to so he can go on, so he can save as many people as possible, so he can rewrite the trauma that broke him. But he chases Joker. He obsesses over Joker like over no one else. He chooses to keep Joker alive, even when it hurts his Family and even when it leads to more and more death.

Joker is a connection he selfishly chooses, and doesn't run away from, especially because it hurts. Both Bruce and Joker are self-hating and suicidal, so they allow themselves this one thing precisely because it's destroying them both. Yet, no matter what, part of Bruce sees in Joker someone who suffers, someone who understands, and he keeps trying to reach out to him because of it. It's not just the worst parts of Bruce that resonate with Joker. It's also his hope. Somewhere deep down he can't let go of the idea that maybe, Joker could be better, and if Joker could be better, maybe he could be better too.

...I guess I ship them because I want Bruce to get what he wants. Whether it's dying alongside Joker in a cave, or them helping each other heal, in spite of everything (both of these are plots for stories Scott Snyder has written, hah). Because the thing about Batjokes is that they're perhaps the only people on Earth who could get the other to stop. The easiest way is the way they've already chosen-- by being the one to kill the other. They both see death as the ultimate form of peace, a laying down of arms. But there's also the reverse; the possibility of a world in which neither of them has to die. A world in which they're not each other's preferred method of suicide, but in which they actually learn to live again, helped by the other.

I tend to oscillate between the two. I like Batjokes as an unmitigated tragedy with a course that cannot be diverted, and I like Batjokes as the most unlikely path to a form of peace. Both can provide catharsis in different ways. On a symbolic level, Joker is fighting for meaninglessness and Batman is fighting for meaning; Joker asks, "What is the point?" and Batman answers, "The fight is the point." On an individual level, they're both depressed and suffering from PTSD and always a hairbreadth away from self-destruction, but they keep each other alive, no matter how much it hurts. You can probably imagine how this ship can be a comfort, for people with similar struggles.

I do hope this satisfied your curiosity, Anon. Batjokes might still not be your cup of tea and that's okay, but as someone who likes to read about other ships and the psychology behind them, I hope this was at least a fun read. You seem like you're familiar with my blog already, but just in case you want to seek out canonical instances of what I am describing, I can point you to this compilation of Bruce's side of things that mentions part of what I say here, but also delves into comics. And my Batjokes meta tag is full of similar stuff, some detailing Joker's side too.

#I could've probably just said 'well you see. Bruce Wayne is a freak [affectionate]'#but here's the extended version!#asks #personal #batman #bruce wayne #joker #batjokes #batjokes meta #my meta

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