#i think she still has the same issue where she writes some terrible lyrics & no one says hey. this isn’t good.
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ok i lied i’m going to listen to the rest rn i’m just going to skip thru them a little bc i have to go to bed maybe i will give them a second listen in a few days or smth but anyway.
the black dog: ok hold on perhaps i like this one the way the music went when she said screaming ok…..smth interesting taylor??? this one was pretty good better than most of the songs on the og album lmfao 8/10
imgonnagetyouback: this sounds exactly like some other taylor swift song but it’s not bad it actually like has character to it and is enjoyable to listen to 😩 7/10
the albatross: this song is just ok but what i like abt it vs the songs on the og album that were slower is that she is not doing the breathy vocals and is actually singing w her whole voice so it’s immediately more engaging 6/10
chloe or sam or sophia or marcus: feel similar abt this as i did to the last one. again way better than the slow songs in the original. 6/10
how did it end: i like the use of the piano in this song not a big fan of the song itself but i like the use of a different sound here. otherwise kind of boring 4/10
so high school: oh god she’s doing the breathy voice again 😭 i was like oh an interesting sound? and then the vocals i’m like ok 😩 i just think this sounds like so many of her other songs 5/10
i hate it here: this is ok i might like this better if i listened to it while looking at the lyrics but yeah 4/10
thank you aimee: funny of her to make a kim k diss track so many yrs after the incident lol look what you made me do is vastly superior maybe that’s controversial to say….i do like that this is smth much different lyrically and there is some nice variation in it 7.5/10
i look in people’s windows: ok back to the breathy singing 😔 i skipped thru like this whole song it sounds like so many of the other ones i heard this already 3/10
the prophecy: this is whatever. not very interesting maybe i would like it better if i was reading the lyrics 4/10
cassandra: here’s the thing. cassandra by florence + the machine is one of my favorite songs of all time so the fact that she ft her on the album and then called a song this is immediately going to make me compare them and it isn’t going to compare bc taylor is not on the same level artistically as florence is 😩 yeah this is not cassandra by florence for sure lmfao. i don’t hate it tho it’s nice actually. i feel like she could have done smth more interesting musically w this one tho. 7/10
peter: this sounds like so many other of her songs 😩 like girl you can’t just make so many songs w the same sounds 😭 i like the use of the piano on this one also tho and the bridge is nice and is really good vocally from her 4/10
the bolter: this again sounds like a lot of her other songs but it’s at least p engaging and the bridge and the chorus are nice 6/10
robin: too slow for me but she sounds really good vocally on this one vs the songs where she is very breathy so i like that. also liked the ending. again would be better if i was looking at the lyrics probably. if i was objective i’d probably give this one a higher rating but i’m not 5/10
the manuscript: i like the opening of this w the piano keys….i do not like this lyrically tbh. these lyrics are like why are you reiterating a convo like this. it’s like she’s reading a diary entry to music or smth i just think it’s kind of clunky. despite it being slow if i didn’t dislike the lyrics i would give this a way higher rating i think the music on this one is beautiful. if it was better lyrically i prob would have loved this. 4/10
final thoughts: these songs were way more varied than the original songs i wouldn’t say any of these sounded like another one of these despite several of them sounding like other songs of hers these definitely weren’t like you could splice these all together into one song. i think some of these def should have been on the og album instead. but the same issues from what i said before still stand holistically. anyway goodnight.
#michelle speaks#liked the additional songs better than a lot of the songs on the main album……#maybe it’s better than midnights at this point….i didn’t really listen to midnights in depth tho i don’t remember it very well.#i think she still has the same issue where she writes some terrible lyrics & no one says hey. this isn’t good.#like she needs someone to edit her……but yeah. overall just too slow for me which is just a personal thing.#i am no tswift expert anyway i am just giving my opinion lol. i don’t even know most of her music 😩
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Love will tie the Tourniquet
After some very valid criticism of the Sanctuary scene and the very limited canon Thomastair content I figured I’d write a scene where they talk it out and Thomas apologizes. I wrote this rather quickly and didn’t edit much so sorry for any mistakes.
Title is from “Tourniquet” by Breaking Benjamin which is definitely an Alastair song (although I find the lyrics difficult to interpret). I think it’s from the POV of someone who is struggling with something and realize love won’t fix them, but also believe nothing will. Love will tie the tourniquet and suffocate me.
CW for period typical racism and homophobia, implied PTSD, mentions of bullying
Alastair was surprised to hear someone knock on the door. His mother was still on bedrest and wouldn’t be receiving any visitors and certainly no one would want to see him. He opened the door to see Thomas Lightwood in the door, hatless as always, snow had fallen in his hair. Even covered in snow Thomas was a beautiful sight to behold. Alastair tried to stop staring, but wasn’t quite sure how. Why was he here, after everything? Alastair had taken his time to think through what happened, but had arrived at the same conclusion, it was impossible. In retrospect, he wasn’t even sure Thomas liked him that much. Like Charles, he probably just saw someone who could fulfill his needs. After all, Thomas had seemed quite disappointed when Alastair had refused to take things any further than kissing in the Sanctuary.
‘Good afternoon,’ Thomas said awkwardly after a silence. ‘Can I come in? I… I thought we should talk.’
A bit hesitant, Alastair let him in and took his coat. He asked Risa to make them some tea, and brought Thomas into the parlor.
‘What did you want to talk about?’ Alastair asked.
‘I wanted to apologize,’ Thomas said.
Alastair frowned. ‘Why? You have nothing to apologize for.’
‘I do,’ Thomas said. ‘I was angry with you because of that rumor, but that gave me no right to publicly humiliate you. I treated you terribly, and you didn’t deserve that.’
Alastair wasn’t sure what to make of this. It had hurt, badly, the way Thomas had spoken to him, but he’d told himself over and over again that this what he deserved.
‘Didn’t I?’ Alastair asked. ‘I was awful at school, perhaps less so to you, but still. I can’t imagine why you’d even want to be around me.’
‘Because I forgive you,’ Thomas said.
Alastair stared at him, eyes wide. He tried to hold back the tears, but wasn’t sure he could.
‘Why? Why would you forgive me? I thought you hated me.’
Thomas looked confused. ‘After the Sanctuary? After we kissed?’
Alastair sighed. ‘Charles kissed me many times, we did more than that, and he didn’t love me. He just thought I was convenient and I could fulfill his needs.’
It had been mostly about sex with Charles, and it had taken him so long to realize that it didn’t have to be like that. He’d given Charles everything he could, hoping that perhaps someday he’d receive love and affection back.
Thomas’ mouth fell open. ‘You… you thought I would be like that? That I only wanted you for physical intimacy? Why would you think that?’
‘What else was I supposed to think?’ Alastair snapped, trying but failing to hold back the tears. ‘You wanted to kiss me only moments after you said I deserved to be hated. And because I wanted you, because I love you, I gave in. You wanted to keep me a secret, you were ashamed of liking me, so ashamed you couldn’t tell anyone, not even people who would not mind that you liked men. Just like Charles.’
I couldn’t have told them how I felt about you. Thomas’ words echoed in his head, and it was worse than Charles being ashamed of liking men. At least he understood Charles’ fears, even when it did not justify how badly Charles had treated him.
‘I never meant… I never wanted to hurt you. I’m sorry, and I said some stupid things. But I don’t want to keep you secret. There were so many things I should have said to you then, and I’m sorry I messed it up so badly. You do not deserve to be hated and I should never have said otherwise.’
Alastair wasn’t sure how much more he could take. He was desperate for affection, always had been, that was why he’d given so much to Charles, but how could he be sure Thomas wasn’t going to be the same?
‘Why not? Did I not cause you and your family terrible pain?’
Alastair was crying now and to his surprise Thomas came to sat down next to him, awkwardly putting his hands around him. Alastair pushed him away.
‘Please… please don’t.’
Thomas backed away as if he’d been burnt.
‘Physical affection isn’t easy,’ Alastair tried to explain.
He wasn’t used to hugging or even being touched at all in a non sexual way. Cordelia tried often to show her affection physically and he was grateful, but it just didn’t always work for him. Sometimes a touch could burn, be so overwhelming he only got worse.
‘What do you need?’ Thomas asked. ‘How can I help?’
‘Just keep talking,’ Alastair said. ‘Please. Tell me how you really feel. Be honest with me. If you… If you don’t really love me, it’s alright. I just need to know. Because I don’t understand anymore. Do I deserve to be hated? To be loved? I don’t get it.’
Thomas hesitated. ‘I was wrong. I was grieving and I was pushing these feelings away and I took it all out on you. But that was no excuse. You do not deserve to be hated, not when you regret what you did so much, and you do not deserve to be treated the way we… the way I treated you. And I’m so sorry. I think I do love you, I just never knew what to do with those feelings so I hid them. But I’m not going to hide anymore. I’m not ashamed of loving you.’
Alastair wiped the tears from his eyes. ‘Are you serious?’
‘I told Christopher, and he took it well. Or, well, he said he already knew and was under the assumption everyone already knew and we just didn’t talk about it. And I told my parents and Eugenia.’
Alastair hesitated. ‘Did you tell them I like men?’
‘No,’ Thomas said quickly. ‘Just about me, and how I feel. And that I’d at least like to have you as a friend, even if you weren’t interested in more.’
‘And your family, they accepted you?’
‘They were very kind and supportive, although my mother did say I might be worse at this whole romance thing than my father.’
Alastair frowned. ‘What did your father do?’
Thomas laughed, and Alastair could only think how beautiful his laugh was, how it lit up his face. ‘As you know, my mother was a servant before she became a shadowhunter, and my father decided to regularly ask her for scones, which he doesn’t like, so he could see her when she brought them. He then hid them under his bed.’
Alastair burst out laughing. He knew he shouldn’t, he knew he had no right to laugh about the people he’d brought such shame to, but at the same time he couldn’t imagine this happening. If Gideon Lightwood disliked scones so much, why not ask for literally anything else?
‘He also accidently blurted out his intentions of marrying my mother in her presence before he even proposed,’ Thomas added. ‘I’m not sure which part is worse, but it does make for good stories.’
‘I’d say the scones are worse,’ said Alastair, taking a sip from his tea.
‘You’re very beautiful,’ Thomas said suddenly. ‘When you laugh. Also when you don’t laugh, but I like seeing you laugh. You always seem so sad.’
Alastair looked Thomas in the eye. ‘Really? You think I’m beautiful?’
‘Of course I do, who wouldn’t? I love your hair now that you’ve dyed it back to black.’
Alastair felt the tears coming back, and Thomas looked startled. ‘Did I say something wrong?’
‘No, it’s just… No one has told me I’m beautiful. And no one has told me they like my hair. It wasn’t an easy decision to dye it back. I didn’t want to pretend to be something I’m not anymore, but I thought everyone preferred the blonde.’
‘I’ve always liked dark hair, and it suits you well. And I’m glad you’re more comfortable with it. I guess I have no idea what it’s like, to be judged for the color of your hair or your skin.’
‘That’s the second part of what happened at the academy, what I hadn’t told you yet,’ Alastair said sadly. ‘No one there looked like me. They latched onto the rumors about my father, of course but they also treated me differently for being Persian, made fun of my features, my language… I thought it would get better if I adapted more to what they wanted.’
‘Alastair, I’m so sorry,’ Thomas said, reaching out his hand as if to touch him, but retreating. He probably remembered Alastair’s warning, but right now he did want to be touched. Now he knew Thomas did care for him, even if he had an odd way of showing it sometimes.
So Alastair leaned into him, resting his head against Thomas’ chest. It was comforting to feel his chest rise and fall with his breath. Perhaps he did like to be touched sometimes, but only if the other person loved him. There were very few people who did, and Alastair wasn’t so certain if Cordelia loved him anymore.
‘Is this alright?’ Thomas asked, putting a hand around him.
‘It is. It’s actually nice. But Tom, how can we make this work, if your friends still hate me?’
‘Christopher doesn’t,’ Thomas said. ‘He is willing to give you a chance. All you have to do is help him out with his experiments, show some interest, and he’ll like you. Lucie is going to adore you, I’m sure of it. As for James and Matthew… I’m not sure, but they don’t get to decide who I like or don’t like. For so long I tried to hate you out of loyalty to Matthew, but ultimately that’s his issue and not mine.’
‘But what if you lose your friends because of me?’ Alastair asked. ‘I would never want you to lose people you love for me.’
Thomas put his hand in Alastair’s hair, and Alastair thought about how Thomas had said he loved his hair. He’d never considered someone might. Charles had certainly preferred his hair blonde. He had been the one to suggest dyeing it.
‘That would be their loss,’ Thomas said. ‘You deserve to be loved too, Alastair. I will tell James and Matthew when they get back, and if they decide not to accept it, then perhaps they’re not very good friends.’
Alastair was surprised to hear him say that. He’d thought the four boys were exceptionally close, the kind of friendship he longed for but never had.
‘That’s what my mother said,’ Thomas added.
Alastair frowned. ‘Do your parents know I spread that rumor? Surely they would not accept you pursuing me if they knew?’
‘I told them,’ Thomas said. ‘But my father said that when he was young, he’d done worse. He realized he was wrong and changed, uncle Gabriel too. He said it would be hypocritical to hold this against you.’
‘Really?’
‘So far they seem to like you,’ Thomas said. ‘And they are very grateful that you made sure to keep me safe. And… I am too. I never thanked you, but I should have. I am grateful that you put so much effort into protecting me. But please do not risk your life like that again. I would never forgive myself if you died trying to keep me safe.’
‘Only if you promise never to do something as reckless as those patrols again,’ Alastair said. ‘Someone had to keep you safe, and I certainly wasn’t going to let you die because of your own recklessness. Because I love you.’
They sat like that for a while, Alastair taking in the sensation of being held. He didn’t remember ever receiving such affection, and wasn’t quite sure what to make of it.
‘I’m not going to patrol alone again,’ Thomas said. ‘I promise.’
‘Then I won’t follow you as you patrol alone either,’ Alastair said. He paused. ‘I never expected you to come back for me. I never thought you could love me.’
‘I do. I loved you since Paris,’ Thomas said. ‘I mean, at school I liked you as well, but I thought you it was daring that you said whatever you wanted. I saw your sadness too, but not the real you. Not like in Paris.’
‘I certainly did not say whatever I wanted,’ Alastair said softly. ‘I said what I thought I had to so they wouldn’t hurt me.’
‘I can’t even imagine how badly they must have hurt you,’ Thomas said softly.
Soothing words eased some of the pain, but not all of it. Alastair wasn’t sure if it ever would. Love would tie the tourniquet. It might suffocate him. He would have to find another way to starve the pain within, if such a thing were possible.
‘You were treated badly as well, I’m sure you have some idea.’
‘Yes, but you were always nicer to me than to the others, and I think that shielded me from the others as well. Are you going to be alright, Alastair? I want to help you, but I’m not sure I know how.’
‘I have no idea,’ Alastair admitted. ‘But I’m going to try. You make me want to try. I have no idea how though.’
He knew he needed to get better, if he wanted this to work, to find a way to heal from everything that had happened to him. He knew he couldn’t depend on one person to heal him like he had with Charles, someone who had ultimately broken whatever was left of his heart.
‘Perhaps you could talk to uncle Jem,’ Thomas suggested. ‘If anyone can help with that, it’s him.’
Alastair hadn’t considered that. His cousin thought he hated him. He’d reached out once, back when Alastair had attended the Academy, and he’d pushed him away like he did everyone else. He wasn’t sure Jem would still be willing to help him after everything. But perhaps he could try. Perhaps it didn’t always have to be like this.
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Jack Jeanne Playthrough Part 3 (April 5)
1 month later. April 5th in the VN. Kisa is at Univeil and excited she passed the entrance exam. She runs into her childhood friend Yonaga who's also been accepted. He's shocked that Kisa is attending too, but before she can explain Suzu joins them, introduces one each other.
Quartz's theme is "transparency" where many inexperienced performers who haven't specialized yet tend to go.
Onyx = Jacks whose forte is in dance.
Rhodonite = Jeannes who specialize in song.
Amber is where talented and unique students gather.
Suzu theorizes Kisa would be in Rhodonite because of her appearance, himself in Onyx because his physical abilities make him more suitable for dancing than singing or acting. Yonaga would like to be in Quartz.
Yonaga: Quartz...would be nice.
Suzu: I get what you mean!
Yonaga: Huh?
Suzu: Tbh I enrolled in Univeil cause I really admire Tachibana Tsuki, the legendary Jackace of Quartz!
Kisa: ...!
Suzu: That's why I wanna be in the same class as Tachibana Tsuki...come to think of it, your last names are the same.
Kisa: (If people find out I'm related to Tsuki-nii, it might make it even easier for them to discover my identity...! But it might be better than lying poorly...)
Kisa: It's true. It's the same (nonchalantly)
Yonaga: ......
Suzu: Maybe you guys are distant relatives!
Kisa: *nervous laughter*
Yonaga cuts in and says they should go check which class they're in. Kisa thanks Yonaga for the save. Their year is the 78th class of Univeil. All 3 are in Quartz.
Kisa gets called to the headmaster's office.
Chuuza congratulates her and informs her about her admission. The only ones who know that Kisa is a girl is him, Quartz's homeroom teacher Enishi Rokurou, and now Yonaga, Kisa's childhood friend. Chuuza is surprised that someone who knew about Kisa enrolled in the school.
But if anyone else finds out that she's a girl, expulsion. But since a lot of students are feminine, she won't have to go out of her way to act and dress like a boy. He reminds her to build trust with the rest of the students, and aim to become a lead and aim for the top.
Kisa arrives to Quartz's homeroom late.
??: Yes, yes, come right in.
Kisa: (The teacher...? But he's in a student uniform.)
??: You were called in quite loudly during the school announcements. Did you run into any issues on the first day? Theft, robbery, manslaughter, extortion, coercion, or a bank robbery, perhaps...?
(Please watch the clip of this scene. Can you tell he and Furuta share the same VA? 😄)
Fumi: No one like that would be in our school, Kuro.
??: But wouldn't be great to have such a plucky 1st year around, Fuumin! All the world's a stage!
Fumi: And, if the cops came?
??: I concede! Law is what keeps society together.
Kai: ...you two are bothering the 1st years.
Kisa finds a seat by Suzu and Yonaga.
Neji Kokuto (3rd year, 76th class of Univeil) welcomes the 1st year students to Univeil and Quartz. Class leader-slash-scriptwriter-slash-director-slash...all kinds of other things! He provides an info-dump about Univeil for us.
5 performances in total: Rookie, Summer, Fall, Winter, and Univeil Exhibitions. The Rookie Exhibition is where the 1st years take the lead roles, which is going to be held May 30th. Today is April 5th, so less than 2 months remain. Most viewers will watch over them warmly, but others will be more strict, like journal reporters, critics and avid Univeil fans. Neji will write a script to allow even novices like them to shine on stage. Casting will be announced mid-April. Upper years are also participating and support the 1st years.
Neji: If you have any questions, all you need is to ask. I'm sure all our seniors here will be more than happy to help you.
??: What, no way.
Neji: With some exceptions of course! Mwahaha. Mikki's a 2nd year now, you can be a little nice to your juniors, hm?
??: ...
Kisa notes he looks cute like a doll. Shirota Mitsuki, noted for his singing. He catches Kisa staring at him, and she apologizes.
Neji asks if anyone has any questions. You're given 3 options: 1) How casting is determined, 2) Type of training to be done, 3) No questions.
Casting is based on Neji's subjective judgment. Everything from how they're doing in lessons, campus life, the way they walk, talk, physique, voice, facial expressions. Essentially based on his intuition, which he uses to find gemstones in the rough.
Training I'll explain later, there's gameplay related to it.
Neji finishes his spiel and passes it on to Quartz's homeroom teacher, Enishi. Pretty low energy. Lessons start tomorrow. Class is dismissed.
Suzu meets Kisa outside the Quartz dorms and asks if she's ready to introduce herself to the other students. He notes it's hard to find people since Univeil is so large. They chat for a bit, Suzu asks Kisa to call him by his first name, so Suzu-kun it is.
Inside Yonaga's dorm. He's finished unpacking, though he's still yet to put away his books (on theatre). He asks how Kisa got into Univeil, and she explains what happened. Yonaga says he'll help Kisa to make sure she stays at Univeil. He's glad that Kisa is here with him.
Yonaga: Kisa-chan, about Tsuki-kun...
Kisa: I can't get in touch with Tsuki-nii, but I'm sure he's doing fine wherever he is.
Yonaga: I see. Yeah, I'm sure he is.
(Isn't that sketchy? Maybe he turned into that weasel with the moon on its belly lol)
Kisa begins her search for the Quartz students. At the Univeil courtyard, Kisa hears Mitsuki singing.
"Within this chest of mine I dance, the rhythm of possibilities"
Kisa: (I'd heard he was lauded for his singing, but he really has a beautiful voice...the lyrics paint the scene in my head.)
Mitsuki: ...could you not stare at me like that? It's uncomfortable.
Kisa: Oh, I'm sorry!
Mitsuki: Oh, you again. The 1st year who came in late.
Kisa: Yes. My name is Tachibana Kisa. It's a pleasure to meet you.
Mitsuki: Huh...you've got a face like a girl.
Kisa: Eh? Y-yes, I suppose so.
Mitsuki: A high-pitch voice. A delicate figure. And a Jeanne at that. At least be aware of your own features.
Kisa: I-I'm sorry.
He sighs and introduces himself. 2nd year, 77th class of Univeil. A Jeanne and a tresor (songstress/diva) of Quartz. VA is Kajiwara Gakuto (Asta). Kisa compliments him on his singing.
Mitsuki: So you were eavesdropping.
Kisa: I-I'm sorry.
Mitsuki: Well, not like I care either way. Later.
Kisa: He left...I guess he doesn't really like interacting with people. But his voice really was beautiful.
(If I had to describe Mitsuki's tone, it would be similar to Kenma, but a bit more antisocial lol)
Kisa finds Kai in the forest, seemingly concentrating on something. She decides to come back later, but Kai notices her.
Kai: ...? Quartz's 1st year?
Kisa: Yes! I'm Tachibana Kisa.
Kai: I see, you're...
Kisa: Yes!
(awkward silence between the two)
Kai: Mutsumi Kai, 76th class of Univeil. I'm a 3rd year.
Kisa: So I should call you Mutsumi-senpai!
Kai: Kai is fine. You can call me that around other people too.
Kisa: But...
Kai: ...
Kisa: ...(agrees)
Kai: ...
Kisa: T-then, I'll call you Kai-san!
Kai: Okay.
Kisa notes Kai is the Jackace of Quartz. And since Tsuki was also the Jackace, that means he must be talented too.
Kai: I'm a vessel meant to garnish the Aljeanne. Nothing more, nothing less.
Kisa is confused by his statement. Convo ends.
Kisa runs into Neji next in the hallways. He enters a room then promptly comes back out.
Neji: Welcome!
Kisa: Ah!
Neji: What're you doing in a place like this?
Kisa: I'm going around introducing myself to everyone in Quartz.
Neji invites her into his workroom where he writes his scripts and plans his staging. But he also performs on stage, any male or female role, from a shining prince/princess to old grannies/gramps.
He's currently working on the script for Quartz, but he won't reveal it just yet. Kisa asks if the other class leaders write the scripts like he does, but Neji is a special case, who screenwrites, directs and performs.
Neji: Once you get carried away, you can't see what's going on around you. What we do has no end to it. Acting, dancing, singing, they're fields that you can pursue for a lifetime. You could reach the stars, or merely end up as a master of none. No matter how much time, it will never be enough. It's a terrifying world out there. That's why it's so engrossing. The stage is a colossal device. The Jacks and Jeannes make up the gears, and I am the craftsman who pieces them together. Let's create a fantastic stage together, Tachibana-kun!
Neji must continue writing, and wishes Kisa the best for the Rookie Exhibition. (Neji definitely talks the most out of the main cast lol. And fast too, talks a mile a minute and tone varies hugely)
Kisa finds Fumi standing languidly in the middle of the dance room, taking deep breaths before beginning to dance. A Japanese-style dance where his movements are gentle, beautiful and brilliant. He comments on Kisa staring intently at him, just like during the entrance exam.
Kisa is surprised that Fumi remembered, despite the number of applicants.
Fumi: I remember you and the red-haired guy well cause you two danced so terribly.
Kisa: Oh...
Fumi: I'm just kidding. Though the red-haired guy really did suck.
Kisa introduces herself, and Fumi pauses at hearing the name Tachibana. 3rd year Takashina Sarafumi, 76th class of Univeil, but he prefers being called Fumi, no senpai honorific attached. Kisa ends up calling him Fumi-san.
Fumi: Let's have fun, Kisa. (leaves)
Kisa: It's overwhelming seeing him up close. So that's the power of an Aljeanne.
Kisa goes to her room excited for her new life at Univeil and retires for the night for her 1st day of classes tomorrow.
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10 italian songs that are terribly horny
Kind of a sequel of this post I wrote about the three Italian songs every Italian knows without fail, here comes another in the same vein and, as you might guess from the title of the post, they all are horny.
Because there’s absolutely no need to title your fic about Nicky losing his virginity after a Hozier song, when the Italian music scene of the 1970s has already blessed us with Cristiano Malgioglio!
Beware that this list features: threesomes, implied choking, implied masturbation, lengthy descriptions of dicks, and a whole lot of “dying”.
So, if you’re new to the Italian music scene, I bet you now have two questions: who is Malgioglio, and why is that “dying” in between quotes?
Cristiano Malgioglio is an Italian songwriter who has been working in the music industry since the early Seventies. Now known mostly for his flamboyant style and white strand of hair in his otherwise completely black head, he was a close friend of Fabrizio de Andrè, who was actually the one who introduced him to the music world.
He has written a lot of songs that are LGBT+ themed and has always been very open about his sexuality, to the point that he has never even felt the need of coming-out. Out of the ten songs here presented, he has written three of them, and one of them is about one of his boyfriends.
As the censorship didn’t allow for song lyrics to be too explicit, songwriters and singers had found a way around it: rather than saying “coming” or “orgasming”, they would go with “dying”, which was a lot more elegant and could be inserted in literally every song without the censors being able to complain. And, trust me, there’s a lot of dying.
Here is the list, from the least horny to the most horny.
Chi Non Lavora (1970), by Adriano Celentano
Link to lyrics and translation here.
Commonly called Autunno Caldo (Hot Autumn), the workers strike that begun in 1969 and dragged itself into the August 1970 greatly influenced this piece (but for all the wrong reasons). Workers were demanding safer working conditions, which had been completely ignored up until that point. As the days went on and the more people joined the protests, the police got more and more violent, to the point that they had begun shooting people on sight. This caused a huge uproar from the protestors, and when the voice that people had been shot and harmed by the law enforcement, even more workers and even students joined the fight. Through a year of strikes, they forced the Italian government to create a new set of laws that would protect both workers and students.
The song mocks this movement: the singer complains about the fact that, since he is on a strike two days out of three, he cannot give his wife enough money and therefore she’s going on a strike too and won’t have sex with him. Basically this song is nothing but the woes of a privileged, extremely wealthy man who thinks that people protesting for the rights of a safe work environment is inopportune and stupid.
The only reason why I included this song is because “Chi non lavora non fa l’amore” (Those who don’t work don’t make love) is still very much used to this day. If you want a piece of media that actually explores the protests and the work environment of the time, I suggest watching La Classe Operaia va in Paradiso (The Working Class goes to Heaven), a movie from 1971.
10 Ragazze per Me (1969), by Lucio Battisti
Link to lyrics and translation here.
Lucio Battisti is a national treasure and if I’ll ever do more of these, he’s surely going to end up in more of them. Whereas De Andrè would write more traditional music and focus on the lyrics, Battisti’s music was a lot more danceable and his lyrics a lot lighter, usually focusing on loneliness and heartbreaks rather than social issues.
In this song, the protagonist is bragging about how he wants ten girls for himself, all for different reasons (one because she knows how to dance, the other because she’s a virgin, that other one because she has been with everybody but him). It is soon revealed, however, that the only reason why he’s doing it is because he’s still thinking about a very specific girl who broke his heart.
Remembering the note above, peep that “And red lips to die upon”.
Gelato al Cioccolato (1979), by Pupo
Link to lyrics and translation here.
First song written by Cristiano Malgioglio and also the one about his ex! And yes, it was sung by another man, but... oh, well. The lyrics are the same.
I feel like the only thing I need to say, about this song, is to quote it directly: “Chocolate ice cream, sweet and a little salty”. And that’s it, because the subtext is right there and it’s impossible to miss what it implies.
What I think should be added is the fact that the singer had absolutely no idea of what the song was about. Like none. It was only in 2007 that Malgioglio told him that he had been inspired to write it after spending a torrid summer in Tunisia, where he had gotten a boyfriend with whom he’d often get ice cream.
Carlo Martello Ritorna dalla Battaglia di Poitiers (1967), by Fabrizio de Andrè
Link to lyrics and translation here.
Translating this song absolutely murdered me: Paolo Villaggio, one of De Andrè’s best friends and an extremely important figure in Italian entertainment history, wrote it to play over Middle Ages sounding music, so the words chosen and the way sentences are structured are reminiscing of that time, and it was incredibly hard to find English words that matched.
This said, it’s possibly one of De Andrè’s most light-hearted songs (probably because he and Villaggio wrote it while their wives were giving birth to their sons), even if it does mention social issues.
King Charles Martel comes home from Poitiers but has lost the key to his wife’s chastity cage, so he doesn’t even go home before looking for another girl that can quench his thirst. He sees a beautiful maiden taking a bath and, seduced, convinces her to have sex with him. It is only when he has finished that she reveals that she’s actually a prostitute and now he has to pay her, but he runs away before doing so (but still after having complained about the rising prices).
The lyrics of this song were censored and fought against by the censorship so much that, even to this day, records with the uncensored version are extremely difficult to find.
Una Carezza in un Pugno (1968), by Adriano Celentano
Lyrics and translation here.
Yes, another Celentano song. I don’t like him either, it’s just that we cannot get rid of him for some reason.
Anyways, here we begin to get into hotter waters, as this song is about a man asking his girlfriend to think of him while she masturbates. Of course, since he cannot be left out of the question, he will think of her while he jerks off too.
Basically, unlike what a first read might make you think, the “fist” he makes while thinking of her is not because he wants to beat her up.
Il Triangolo (1978), by Renato Zero
Lyrics and translation here.
Renato Zero is another extremely flamboyant personality of the Italian music scene, and “Il Triangolo” is one of the songs of his that are best known.
As the title may suggest, this song is about a threesome. The protagonist goes on a date with their boyfriend and finds out that he has brought a second man, with the intention of convincing said protagonist to have a threesome. Although at first they need a little convincing, the protagonist then agrees to it and finds out they enjoy it a lot, to the point of coming to the conclusion that “Geometry is not a crime”!
Kobra (1980), by Donatella Rettore
Lyrics and translation here.
This song is about dicks, there’s no way around it and there’s nothing else to say. The singer sees a certain man and thinks about his dick, getting wet and fantasizing about the many things she could do with said dick. That’s it.
Pensiero Stupendo (1978), by Patty Pravo
Lyrics and translations here.
Second threesome song!
Unlike “Il Triangolo”, this song is a lot more subtle. It’s clear what the singer is talking about, but the lyrics are not as on the nose and leave more to the audience to feel it, rather than hearing it through words.
The song begins with the three people part of the threesome that are already doing it, and are still doing it by the time the song ends. It’s not about the act in and on itself, but more about the sensations it brings.
Ancora ancora ancora (1978), by Mina
Lyrics and translation here.
Second song written by Malgioglio!
Mina is probably one of the best known Italian singers, as her voice is said to be one of the best in recorded history and has an impressive rage of three octaves, so it really says something, the fact that this piece is so difficult that even her voice broke while holding a note (in an incredible way that only gives it character, but still).
The lyrics play with the fact that in Italian the word “ancora” can be translated and understood as “still”, “again”, and “more”. I couldn’t really give it justice in the translation, but it’s as if she was saying “Your hands still”, “Your hands again”, and “More of your hands” at the same time, and this kind of logic is repeated for every “ancora” she sings.
Even if the lyrics are suggestive, what was censored in this case was the video (the one linked with the song), as the close shots of the singer’s face, and especially of her mouth, were considered to be too sensual to be freely aired.
L’importante è Finire (1975), by Mina
Lyrics and translation here.
Third and last piece written by Malgioglio!
The story behind this song is a little nebulous, but I have read that apparently Malgioglio wrote it for Dori Ghezzi, De Andrè’s wife, but that that project never came to life and, in the meantime, he had managed to meet Mina, and had tried to get her to sing it. But... not sure if this story is directly related to the song in question or not.
Anyways, even for this piece it’s impossible to escape it’s meaning, to the point that, even if it didn’t contain any forbidden words, it was censored anyways for weeks, forbidding radios to air it and Mina to sing it on TV. However, people were so eager to listen to it that it still managed to climb the charts and was, eventually, allowed on air.
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idk if u care but crispin gray recently had an interview about his entire career and it kind of changed my perspective of queenadreena…idk if for better or for worse lol. it was weird to see him so dismissive of a lot of his catalogue w katie except for ‘love your money’ just because that was the only remotely chart successful song. i get you want to be able to sustain yourself but jeez him and katie really had a weird back and forth relationship
Sorry i'm replying late, i've seen the interview pop up on Youtube but honestly i was too invested in university shit recently & generally not in the good mood for that but i'm planning to watch. How did it change your view on Queen Adreena, did he say something mean specifically on QA or Katie? I mean i gotta watch it but honestly? Not surprised in the slightest. A few years ago he was asked to describe fave songs he recorded throughout the years and he listed more of Daisy Chainsaw ones than anything else, with Love Your Money as number 1. The differences in their points of view are real something, Katie Jane absolutely HATED Love Your Money, same as Daisy Chainsaw. Kinda apparent he wanted bigger fame but DC dropped fast and QA failed to live up to their predictions.
i had a time when i liked to dig up old Queen Adreena interviews that are lost in the old internet & generally not available for years (which i planned to post on is-she-suffering but my investment in that site is... varied in its intensity). Also that was back in the days when i wrote Queen Adreena book during manic phase and tried to sell it but lost motivation Well since i don't do anything with that knowledge anyway i'll put what i know here as i love fan discussions
So they sure had/have odd back and forth love-hate relationship & that's the reason why their career went how it went. There's been a huge tension between them at some point. I'm sure you know she had a major mental breakdown (probably schizophrenic episode) after Daisy Chainsaw, or even beginning before her leaving, and then she went into isolation and lived with an old woman in Lake District for awhile. She left Daisy Chainsaw cause Crispin didn't want her to come up with her own songs (all of DC was by Crispin except for Lovely ugly brutal world by KJ).
They almost split up as Queen Adreena after Drink Me. The material for The Butcher and The Butterfly was written at different times, originally it was meant to be called Atom Bomb at Bikini but it was constantly delaying and they eventually recorded everything they've got live. So that's obvious right? But i was surprised to find out they were writing songs separately. Some of them (i forgot which though) were written by Katie Jane and Pete Howard's sons band (they're even credited) + some with Melanie Garside, Richard Adams + some other musician. Katie Jane didn't like it. They intended it to be their last album at the time. She also hated live at ICA show but they released it cause they were broke
But that's a digression. I just wanna say that at this point they were done with each other but kept pushing it. Katie had her own art projects and stuff, Crispin started Dogbones with Nomi and i just remember how vaguely pissed at Katie he waas in the interviews. Like he stressed that Dogbones is his number one priority and if Katie wants to do something with Queenadreena, she must wait til Dogbones have a break first or something, and it sounded oddly bitter.
RaCH and Djinn era are just so weird, they had opportunities but let them go in a way. I don't think many people know but they were huge demand in Japan. They entered album charts and were interviewed by 11 magazines and 6 (!)TV stations there (wtf happened to that material i want to know???). But they only played 5 times or less.
Katie said she considers the band dead but they decided they can try to play for a couple more months. But aside from that she 100% lost the interest in the band around Djinn. There's an interview where she says "the overall image is Crispin but the shape will change again at rehearsals". And you can hear it, it’s more blues rock than anything. IMO it's their worst production wise. Instruments are fine but Katie's voice is so badly produced that sometimes i find some songs fucking irritating, cause they didn’t cut out her breaths and the vocals are TOO LOUD, to the point of distorting. As if she stands too close to the mic. The album is fine but it feels unfinished.
And here we come back to Crispin... here's what he said after the QA split:
Why the Dogbones started? “I needed to work more than the previous band I was in was working, the previous band who shall remain nameless, haha… um… Queenadreena. I wanted to work more than the singer of Queenadreena wanted to work… so that’s why it started. Fine by me… but I really like to be in a band, I’m not a solo project kind of guy. The last album (‘Djin’) did come out in the UK, but it was so low key because Katie kind of disappeared so there was little point in promoting it. Personally it’s my favourite by far so it was a shame but there you go… So here are Dogbones, it’s not been an easy ride but we are trying very hard.
Ok so the bitterness is kinda apparent isn't it. I think there were two reasons why they argued so much, first musical differences. Katie at some point lost interest in loud rock music for some years and went the folk way in Ruby Throat. I have a theory that Taxidermy and Drink Me are more influenced by Katie Jane and Butcher and Djinn are more Crispin. During first albums i think Katie more actively took part in music composition and choosing arrangements. She wrote lyrics, melodies but also composed a lot of songs on some little electronic keyboard thing and 4 track (Heavenly Surrender, Pray for me, My Silent Undoing, all Lalleshwari +more). Plus she wanted more peaceful/dreamy sound on Taxidermy than full on rock, Crispin complained about it in some 00's interview, that he'd like it to be more rock. Then there are 2 versions of Drink Me, the original has rough and alt versions of songs (it was sold by Katie and it's leaked on FB and probably YT). Crispin Gray apparently really hated the final Drink Me. Now next album is The Butcher & The Butterfly and it's more standard blues rock, no more crazy dreamy things of previous albums etc., Djinn is even more blues rock but darker. Djinn was his favourite at some point while KJ hated Butcher, not sure about Djinn. So i think they had different views on where they should go, Katie made her weird simplistic creepy tunes (like Lalleshwari) and folk melodies adding that strange things to noise rock. Crispin probably wanted blues & rock.
Other than that, i’m convinced they are bitter exes, lol. There’s been rumours about them dating during Daisy Chainsaw for years, plus Katie had a history of dating band members. Crispin wrote X-ing off the days about her. I don’t know if they dated again in Queen Adreena. Then there’s this interview, timeline is unclear, either The butcher & the butterfly or later:
„Katie writes all the songs herself and often looks for melodies and structure with the drummer. With Crispin - her husband or ex-husband, which is not entirely clear to me - for almost three years she has no longer been in a room. "Sometimes we send him a letter with a new song and that's all we can do. All we have are our lungs and our musical talent and we have to do with it. It is repugnant difficult life, I know most of the time how I should deal with it." But Queenadreena will still remain even exist? "I think so, we are now pretty busy and I see where the ship aground.”
I always wondered what exactly happened after Djinn, i’ve seen Katie Jane say „i think they gave up on me” while others said she disappeared. Other times CG said there’s no bad blood between them but at the same time there’s been some weird tension. As of recent i thought they reconnected somehow through the internet and had a good relation but who really knows.s
I get why Crispin gets irritated when people compare everything he does to „stealing from KJ” but honestly, he gave them good reasons, at least in the 90’s. I can believe Starsha Lee singer isn’t copying Katie cause she’s from Brazil or something and she didn’t know Queen Adreena before. But everything else… Crispin’s problem is that he doesn’t know what he wants. He spent 90’s chasing something, tried singing himself, had girl singer replacements and even one KJ copy. Dogbones was ironically his most original non-Katie band, even with all their grunge influences. In a way he wants to be a frontman and at the same time doesn’t. Idk if he’s very controlling, but Daisy Chainsaw shows he valued his songs/lyrics first & in Queen Adreena he had to step back a lot, cause Katie’s condition was she would be in charge of the lyrics. I don’t think he realizes how strongly Daisy Chainsaw issues affected Katie, i mean from her own words you can read that aside from media attention/hate, her being unable to write lyrics had a role in her breakdown. I think she now let go but for years she hated remembering Daisy Chainsaw and she felt kind of worthless cause she was only somebody else’s mouthpiece. I’m not trying to say he’s cruel or anything, but i firmly believe rock lyrics writers should sing their own songs or else there are problems.
They both were writers-composers with different vision and i have impression they struggled a lot while shaping their songs, cause they both stuck to their ideas. Hence 2 versions of Princess Carwash maybe. Katie once said that he „gets terribly upset with her” cause she writes her songs on a simple wind organ and uses a few chord buttons only. Clash of writer ways/personalities/egos and at some point they had to let go.
Maybe he prefers music/bands where he was 100% in control including lyrics (note he wrote/sang some lyrics in Dogbones too). Daisy Chainsaw achieved bigger success US and UK wise as they were offered to play Top of The Pops, and they’re more well liked/remembered by „general alt public”. Queen Adreena however is way more valued as a cult band, with cult following and admiration in UK & France. Most people think Pretty Like Drugs and other QA songs are his best work and he probably finds it irritating cause truth is, he never managed to be more successful than Daisy Chainsaw/Queenadreena. Love Your Money is ironically the least Crispin Gray/DC/QA sounding song in my opinion. I kinda find it irritating that he downplays Queen Adreena cause it was probably his best work in this band but whatever
So yeah sorry for the word spill, that’s what i can think of it right now but as i said, i haven’t watched the interview yet, it’s just this kind of treatment is in a way consistent for him
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There’s Something About Mary
A day in the life of our crusty Mr. Goore
Mary POV chapter bc I want to and I can.
⬅️ Previous
*public masturbation, kinda*
Mary wakes up horny.
He must have been having a pleasant dream, because his cock is hard and throbbing where it rests heavy against his thigh. He shoves a hand down into his undone jeans to give his cock a squeeze—just for a moment of relief—and, as the touch wakes him up fully, he realizes he can hear the distinct sounds of sex from one of the rooms. A thump thump thump and a squeak squeak squeak, all punctuated with blatant moans.
Fuck it, he thinks, and he begins to jack it to the sex orchestra going on, not 10ft from where he lies on the couch. Once a place they sometimes took turns on, the couch has become Mary’s de facto room—a subtle punishment for his supposed defection. So, he has no qualms about masturbating in his room, and if any of the other guys have an issue with it, Mary has no problem making his display more public, just for spite.
He pauses only to spit in his hand when his dry palm begins to chafe. It doesn’t even matter when the noises from the other room cease (and later Mary will have to tease them about their staying power), Mary just scrolls through his mental Rolodex until he brings up the memory of his dick in between Suey’s tits, how they jiggled despite being held together, how shiny they became once covered in his jizz, and how she looked up at him as she contorted one to bring it up to her mouth to lap some off.
“Shit, shit,” he exclaims as the memory of her pink tongue lapping up his cum causes him to release. Some shoots up his bare chest, but most of it lands and pools in his belly button. Eyes still closed, his free hand shoots out and fumbles for the box of tissues on the table, encountering instead a stack of thin takeout napkins.
As he does his best to clean himself up with the napkins—whose integrity is suspect—he can hear the low rumble of male voices and a high, feminine giggle from the sex room. Just to be a jackass, he gets himself up so that he can have first dibs on the bathroom.
Making sure to lock the door behind him, Mary turns on the hot faucet, willing the water to warm up sooner than later. He takes the opportunity, while he waits, to piss in the toilet; it’s already open—toilet seat up—even though it’s supposed to put it down when they have guests. They’re out of TP again, so a roll of paper towels rests on the lid of the tank.
Once the water is warm enough, Mary uses a couple pieces from the roll to clean off the jizz drying and to give himself a brief wipe down. His face is still half crusty with makeup, and he’s tempted to just add to it, but he’s learned from hard experience how that can fuck up your face, so—even though it’s a goddamned pain—Mary washes his face. He even uses the harsh Dial hand soap, even though the acrid smell will get up into his nose for hours.
He thinks of the nice-smelling scrub Suey has and her drugstore face cream he sometimes rubs into his skin.
In the soap- and toothpaste-speckled mirror, he starts to apply his “Day Face” (as Suey calls it) from the communal box of makeup (his better stuff is in his backpack): a light dusting of white powder; some eyeliner all the way around; a dull, red lipstick; and black shadow on his cheekbones.
He’s just starting on his hair when there comes a pounding on the door
“Fucks’ sake. C’mon, Goore.”
Mary turns his head upside down in the sink basin so he can haphazardly splash some water into his hair.
“Fuck off, douchebag.”
He starts to work his fingers into his locks, coaxing the glue already in it to activate.
“She’s gotta pee, man.”
He fluffs his forelock in the mirror as his other hand searches for the blood tube in the box.
“We have a kitchen sink.”
A small voice tells him not to take his annoyance with his friends out on the girl, and he sighs.
“Stop being a di—”
The voice cuts off as Mary swings the door open. Brendan's angry face smooths into one of minor irritation. The girl—Lisa?—stands, thighs crushed together, in an oversized kitten t-shirt. She looks at Mary, wide-eyed; her gaze darts to his bare, wet chest before snapping back up.
“Lis,” he says, winking as he saunters out.
Her face crumples a little.
“Lizzy,” she says, and Mary’s stomach swoops a bit when he realizes he’s probably slept with her before.
He makes himself smile as she moves past him to the bathroom.
“That’s what I said: Liz.” He shoots her a finger gun at her as Brendan scowls at them both. When the door closes and Brendan is still glaring, Mary lets out a “What?”
“You sticking around for breakfast, man?”
Mary rolls his eyes. “I’m here, ain’t I?” He starts to paw through the plastic shelving drawers next to the couch for a shirt.
Brendan shrugs. “Thought your pussy-whipped ass might need to get back to that uptown princess of yours.”
He glares at Brendan. “Stop being dick.”
“She’s fucking slumming it, dude. I’m warning you.”
It’s not a new argument, so Mary just ignores him, instead trying to apply a bit of blood to the tip of his forelock using the heart compact Suey gave him.
Titus emerges from the shared room, yawning, in his terrible leopard print robe that’s way too short.
“Morning, asswipe,” he says to Mary as he walks by. “What’re we bitching about?”
Brendan says “uptown girl” as Mary says “nothing.”
Titus sighs.
“Jesus, Brendan. You gotta get over that. That’s Mary’s mistake to make.”
“You know what? Fuck this shit.” Mary starts getting his backpack in order.
“That’s right! Blow off another band meeting!” says Brendan, and Mary spins on his heel to stomp back.
He jabs a finger into his chest. “I’m here all the goddamned time, more than I am at her place. I come to every meeting you tell me about.”
“I shouldn’t have to tell you about anything. You should just be here. You should be committed,” hisses Brendan.
“I’m going to make some toast,” says Titus as he swishes toward the kitchen.
Mary rifles through his plastic draws and slams a notebook and loose papers onto the table.
“There’s mine, dude. Lyrics. Composition. Where’s yours?”
Donnie and Jamie wander out of their room.
“Not this shit again. It’s too fucking early,” says Donnie.
Brendan vibrates. “What about funds, man? A social media presence? You think all that happens by magic?”
“So I’m supposed to write, and compose, and do the budget?” snarls Mary.
“Guys,” moans Jamie.
“And our Insta is shit, by the way.”
“Fuck. Can we not?” moans Donnie.
Mary again jabs a finger at Brendan. “Then tell him to can it. I’ve already been exiled to the couch. I don’t need him picking fights because he doesn’t like my girlfriend, who—by the way—has never fucking done anything wrong.”
“You haven’t been exil—” Jamie starts.
“We were supposed to fucking share those rooms,” Mary hisses as he gesticulates. “I pay the same amount of rent, and yet I come home one day to find all my stuff in a pile in the living room. I have to wait for you guys to stop playing video games because ‘this is shared space’ to fucking sleep.”
“We all agreed—”
“No. You guys agreed. I didn’t get shit to say about it. So you’ll forgive me if I’m not too fucking keen on being pleasant.”
They all stand there, glowering at each other until Donnie says, “I need to take a goddamned piss,” and finds the bathroom door locked. At his soft The fuck? the lock clicks, and Lizzy opens the door cautiously.
“I’m sorry. It just. Seemed like you guys were getting into it.”
Brendan sighs. “C’mon, babe. Let’s get your stuff.”
The fight isn’t a new one, and—with no resolution in sight—they all drop the subject so they can get on with the breakfast of eggs on toast Titus brings out and the subsequent band meeting. The Brick—a cheap, overworked laptop—is brought out so they can go over band business: the budget; the van maintenance and parking costs; the gig and practice schedule is outlined so that they can align their work shifts; new merch ideas are bandied about; and they talk about how to improve their digital sales.
Mary’s leg jiggles impatiently.
The meeting breaks nearly 5hrs later; Jamie goes back to sleep because he’s got the night shift at the Quik•Mart; Brendan heads out for his afternoon shift at Target; it’s Donnie’s day off, so he cues up Mario Kart; and Titus decides he’s going to go pound on the drums in the practice space they rent, since his dad pays his bills.
Mary has been saddled with stopping by the local record stores to see if any of their physical CDs have sold to prove he’s “committed,” even though he’s got the closing shift at Sixes & Sevens.
As he’s leaving the building, he encounters Brendan, who is leaning against the brick, smoking a cigarette. Mary’s fingers twitch.
“So you’re not coming back tonight, then.”
“We have band business?”
“No.”
“Then, no.”
Brendan lets out a puff of smoke.
“You think I’m being a dick, but that girl does not care about you. She’s a tourist. Us—the band. That’s what’s real, Mary.”
Mary knows he should keep walking, but even after counting to 10, he’s still pissed, so he spins on his heel.
“You don’t know anything about her or her goddamned life.”
“Neither do you.” He finishes the smoke, then tosses it to the pavement to grind under his combat boot. “We’ll be here when it all explodes in your face, Goore. But you’re going to have to rebuild a lot of bridges.”
And then he’s off down the sidewalk. Mary stands there, seething, waiting until Brendan disappears round the corner since he’s also headed in that direction.
He’s not really in the best of moods when he hits up the first store, but by the 4th, he’s back to his plucky repartee. The owner of his favorite shop intimates that a vinyl version of their LP might sell much better than their DIY CD, and Mary enthusiastically thanks the dude as if it’s the first time such a concept has been considered.
The whole route honestly doesn’t even really take that much time at all—maybe 2 hours—so he chances stopping by Suey’s. Worst case, he’ll take a nap; best case, she’ll be there to bitch at him.
Like everything else today, however, circumstances are just not on his side, and he opens the door to her tiny fucking apartment to find it empty. The mail is bad again, and he rifles through it, plucking out anything that’s obviously junk to toss and anything that looks like a bill to put on her counter. There’s only a bowl in the sink, so he leaves it.
He’s hoping that she comes home before he has to leave—maybe she’ll even give him a blow job—as he wraps himself up in the afghan that smells slightly of her.
She doesn’t.
His alarm wakes him up at 4:15pm for his shift at 6. Groggily, he stumbles to the fridge to see what there is to eat, and finds a pot crammed in haphazardly amongst the other food items. Mary’s not really sure what he’s looking at—Suey tends to just throw shit together when she can’t be bothered, but most of the time it’s edible.
It ends up being some sort of cheesy potato stew and actually isn’t that bad. He eats the whole thing out of the pot before scrubbing it and the lone bowl clean. He waits as long as he dares to watch her come clomping tiredly through her door, but he really does have to leave. He leaves a kiss on her mirror after he reapplies his lipstick. (He should probably redo his face but: eh.)
Work is work. It starts slow—with Mary taking down the chairs and wiping off everything with the disinfectant spray. Sometimes Mary finds this kind of Zen—a time to hum out chords and roll around lyrics in his head—but today he’s just tired. It gets a little better when Mickey and the other bartender show up to do citrus prep. It’s a weekday, so there’s only a moderate crowd, and Mickey leaves them to it so he can do business manager-type things in his office.
And then there are the girls. Most of the girls who come to Sixes & Sevens aren’t the type to be put off by Mary’s whole shtick—and there are obviously the ones who come here expressly to flirt with him—so he has no qualms turning on his charms. Mickey lets him do it because customers are customers, and if girls want to come and spend money on drinks while they purr at Mary, who is Mickey to stop them? Len or Mika don’t give a shit because tips are pooled.
Used to be Mary could have his pick of a warm body for the evening—some girl (or occasionally some guy if Mary deemed him beefy enough) who’d take him to her nice-smelling, clean apartment … who’d let him spend the night on her soft, downy pillows after he pounded her into next year, before kicking him out at dawn. But now he’s got a girlfriend—one who makes sure he eats and yells at him to wash his face—waiting for him in her stale apartment with her flat, polyester pillows, and Mary hopes he’s not fool enough to fuck that up.
Not that his dick has gotten the memo.
No matter how many times Mary tells that fucker that he’s not going to fuck any of these women, his dick still twitches in interest whenever plump lips are wrapped around straws or fingertips trail over his hand. Tonight is especially bad for some reason, and Mary has to stick close to the walls of the bar so that no one can see his semi. A girl in a furry, white shrug seems particularly on his dick, and he does his best to flirt just enough for a good tip, but not enough for a proposition.
When he gets his break, Mary takes it out back in the alley by the dumpster. The air is chill, but it feels good after the humidity of the bar. He was hoping maybe his dick would go down, but it’s like it’s trying to spite him. Leaning his head back on the wall, he can’t help but close his eyes and run his palm lightly over the outline. It’s a fool’s errand—it’s not like he can get off without it showing on his pants—but that doesn’t stop him from touching.
A voice clears, and Mary startles. He’s out here by the rancid garbage so he can be alone, so he wasn’t really expecting to find anyone else.
“I can help you with that,” says the girl with the white fur that may or may not be real. She’s standing across from him, and he can see that she’s in a dress so simple that it must be hella expensive. She’s holding an unlit cigarette.
Mary jerks his hand away from his crotch, shifting so that he can surreptitiously adjust his jeans.
“The fuck are you doing out back here?”
She shrugs. “Needed to get away from my bitches. I love them but: drama city. You got a light?”
He knows it’s a ruse, but he still fumbles out his Zippo because he’s a goddamned gentleman. She, shockingly, takes the opportunity to move in closer to his body as he holds out the flame … close enough to blow the smoke of the first drag in his face.
“So,” she says, eyes darting down to his semi. “You want me suck that?” She gesticulates with her chin, posture nonchalant but eyes hungry.
His dick gives an answering throb, but he shrugs. “Nah. I got a girl.”
She looks at him, assessing, before half crossing her arms and taking another drag. Smoke pours out her nose.
“She’s not here.”
Mary doesn’t respond immediately, not knowing how to get out of this. She hasn’t said anything untrue. He’s horny, Suey’s not here, and she wants to suck his cock.
He reaches his hand up and taps his breast where he thinks his heart is.
“She’s here,” he says, and he’s glad Suey’s not present because hoo boy would she give him shit for that winner.
The girl just tilts her head at him, this time blowing smoke out the side of her mouth after she inhales. It occurs to Mary that he wants her cigarette more than his dick wants to be sucked. If she thinks this is some kind of elaborate game of hard to get, she’s sorely mistaken.
“You got a picture?”
“A … what?”
She gesticulates impatiently. “A picture. Of this girlfriend.”
Mary thinks, then pats around for his wallet, even though he only ever puts it in his back pocket. When she sees the wallet come out, she laughs.
“An actual picture? That’s old school.”
He shrugs as he rifles. “I’m on my break.” He doesn’t tell her that his ancient flip phone doesn’t take pictures. Well, not good ones.
The photo of Suey he has is relatively new—slipped in behind the old, worn one of his mum—but its edges are starting to soften. In the image, Suey stands, hip popped, as she gives him the finger with a snotty look on her face. She’s in one of her weird 90′s outfits—a micro mini and tied up band tee—and the cute pudge of her belly hangs over her waist band a little. Her hair is pushed back from her face because she’s just lifted up her sunglasses—there’s still a little mark on her nose where they were resting.
She hates this picture, but her attitude makes him smile.
“You gonna ogle it all night, Mary?”
Mary’s attention snaps back to the alley. He ignores the intimacy. Carefully, with a stern look on his face that he hopes conveys how much the photo is not to be fucked with, he hands the picture over.
White Fur looks at the picture for a long time. Then she looks up at him. She gives the image one more glance before handing it back to him.
“Yeah, ok,” she says as she crosses her arms again.
Mary tucks the photo back into his wallet.
“The fuck does that mean?” he scowls. He’s just about had it with people insulting Suey today, and some random-ass girl in a back alley is the last person he’d let get away with it, even if she is a fan.
She takes her last drag before flicking the stub in the direction of a dumpster.
“Dunno. You seem like the type to have some scene girl with more legs than brains hanging off your arm.”
Mary thinks that’s a little uncharitable: he’s always been an equal-opportunity lay.
“She seems legit though,” the girl continues. “Makes sense.”
“Uh. Thanks?”
“Yeah, no problem.” She heads for the door, but stops to smirk at him. “Looks like I helped after all.”
As she swings back inside, Mary looks down to realize his hard-on is gone.
Mickey doesn’t cut him early, but he doesn’t make him stay past closing either. Even so, it’s still after 3am when he gets to Suey’s. The bills are gone from the counter, but there are no new dishes in the sink. He opens the fridge to find a pizza box crumpled into the top, balanced precariously on the other items. Mary takes it out and inhales the cold pizza right from the box; he knows they’re all for him because Suey fucking hates pepperoni. (Though it doesn’t escape his notice that she’s put one piece of pineapple in the center to mess with him.)
He leaves the box by the trash (he’ll flatten it tomorrow), and then makes his way to her bathroom to wash his face and brush his teeth, lest he incur her wrath.
When he finally wiggles into her twin bed in his boxers, he’s bone tired. His dick still kinda wants some action, but Mary thinks he’d probably just fall asleep in the middle, and Suey really would bite his head off if he woke her up for no reason. He wishes she’d just sleep nude, but finding her in one of his well-worn shirts is the next best thing. He doesn’t mean to wake her up, but he can’t help himself from running his hands all over her—this girl who sees him and not his “image.”
“Mare?” she says in a quiet, sleepy voice.
He kisses her head.
“Go back to sleep, baby doll.”
She doesn’t speak again, but she squirms around until she’s sprawled across his chest. He’d prefer to have her caught up in a little spoon, but having her pressed into him—body sleep warm—is nothing to wave a stick at.
This is all he wanted, anyway.
Next ➡️
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Green Eggs and Ham: “Train” Review or A Little Better Now (Patreon Review for Emma Fici)
Hello you happy people and all aboard! We’re back on the Green Eggs and Ham Train for a Train themed episode. Train. As you can tell I like trains... admitely I don’t see enough episodes et on them and I don’t buy books or obess on them but I like the idea of a train, the comfort, the use of a mode of travel that was once common but is now simply used on occasion with the dawn of air travel, and it confining our heroes to a smaller space with limited room to move. it’s good stuff. I even tolerae the band train... I mean yes their music is okay at best, but the lyrics.. are wonderfully delightfully insane. Who else would use a garbage bag as a genuine romantic metaphor?
When last we left off things ere a bit ehhhhhhhhhhh: Sam went from delightfully quirky with some issues ot adress to annoying, and Michelle went from kin dof a bitch ot ENTIRELY THAT BITCH. Outside of Guy’s mental breakdown/heatstroke episode involving hallucinations of green eggs and ham, yes that did in fact happen, it wasn’t much to write home about and I worried the series simply had a good PILOT but the series itself wasn’t going to be fun sit through.
If I was right or I was rilla.. will have to wait till after the cut. But first as always i’d like to thank the person who payed for this episode Emma Fici. Emma is one of my closest friends and one of two patreon patreons. If you’d like a reivew of your choice eveyr month guarnateed, then please hop over to patreon.com/popculturebuffet and back me at the 5 dollar level. You also get access to my exclusive discord where I ocasoinally post about work in progress stuff and tlak to my falns, to pick a short any time I do one and EXCLUSIVE review, as well as helping me hit my stretch goals. So line up, sign up then join me under the cut.
So we pick up where we left off with Guy hurtling into a lake. Eh I dunno i’ve heard being naked ina lake is pretty neat.
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All you’d have to do is take off the hat and your there. But Sam saves him wiht the weird train of hats he put at the end of the car for some reason, and our heroes are saved.. but down a vehicle. Oh and Sam’s vehiclular neglgence costs a bunch of fish their home.
And our heroes are without a car and Guys at the end of his rope with Sam.. I mean granted he’s been there since he met the guy but it’s down to like the tiniest thred, not helped by Sam casually stealing his wallet to pay for train tickets depsite Guy , UNDERSTANDABLY, not wanting to hang out with the guy who has stolen with him, gotten him implicate din animal trafficing and dosen’t really respect personal space. Also it’s taken me embarassingly long to remember Micheal Douglas played my boy Hank Pym in the Ant Man and the Wasp films. Seroiusly I don’t know HOW I forgot that, him being aged up and thus unable to do ANY of the things he is constnatly denied credit for in canon (Founding the avengers, being the first ant man.. and the first goliath and the first yellow jacket and the first giant man.. and the only doctor pym...).. but instead the film kept his troubled nature and ego, but removed the domestic abuse (which is something I will not go into but needless to say the comics version went above and beyond to try and make up for that and redeem himself soley because it was the right hting to do) and by making im older still gav ehim a roll as Scott’s mentor. What i’m getting at is I freaking love Hank Pym and I could’ve been making hank pym jokes for several episdoes now. That’s a mistake I itned to recitfy.. right away as Guy looses his suitcase as a result of it and whie he lcaims not to be bothered his voice says otherwise. Eh i’m sure the world can wait for ultron Guy.
So anyway, Guy reluctantly agrees to the train travel idea and being parked across from Sam on the grounds he has no real other options. Meanwhile the BAD GUYZ.. and i’ve also decided to drop spoilers as the series is two years old, most people reading this have probably seen the series, and it makes analysis rough when I have to dance around spoilers. So yeah the BAD GUYZ aren’t villians.. kind of a dickhead on the blue guys part, but not EVIL. They figure out their going by train it’s a whole thing.
ON the train we run into michelle again...
Yeahhh for the first half she’s as inusfferable as she was the last two episodes and it lead me to believie the rest of the series was going to be constant suffering as she’d be in every episode, likely because they DID get Diane Keaton for this and you don’t waste Diane Keaton. You just don’t. But while they got their money’s worth in having her on screne wise they just..w asted her for the first 2 and a half episodes: Michelle is a judgemental, unpleasnt suffocating bitch and it’s going to take a lot , even if this episode helped, to make me truly like her as a person.
Case in point her first two scenes this episode are just.. dragging her daughter past a play place uncarring about her feelings because while I DO get she cares about her child’s saftey and is terrified afte rloosing her husband.. it dosen’t EXCUSE her actions. It dosen’t forgive her locking her daughter up constanlty, not talking to her like a human being and oh yeah PUTTING A FUCKING LOCK ON HER SHE CAN CONTROL. I mean my god I don’t think they INTENDED for her to come off as abusive as she does, and i’ve seen far worse inteitonally and untietionally, but it’s still not remotely plesant. There is a larger issue baked into that the episode brings about, but we’ll get to that.
And naturally at breakfast.. she procedes to top herself. ONCE AGAIN she treats guy like trash as guy UNDERSTANDABLY didn’t want to talk to her after her previous layers of bullshit which, just as a refresher, involved insulting his invention constnatly (even if it turned out ot be dangerous she did not know that till the last second) then refusing to help a man BAKING in the desert and mocking him to his face.
So yeah unsuprisingly instead of you know, APOLOGIZING for that episode or anything else she mocks him again and calls him sad. I just.. I get they were trying to have her come off as a jerk and then slowly develop.. but you can’t overdue the jerk part. It has to be juts the right amount and if it is this much there has to be a commpuance. There is none as far as I can tell because god is a spiteful two faced prick.
So naturally Sam forces the two parties together, and orders green eggs and ham for everyone, except guy who refuses. We do get a really great bit though as EB turns down the idea and we get a tremendous rant from Micheal Douglas as he talks about how a girl in his clash, veyr likely just him, got a rash from tring new things and you shouldn’t and to watch out for the scarlet beetle he’ll steel your ants and try to conquer your planet and is not a guy in a costume but in fact an actual beetle. EB naturally tries it.
We get a brief interlude with Snerz that’s funny enough: he outright calls his visotrs flunkies, they enter to the song money, and his minon throws dollar bills at their feet. I imagine this is what visitng Mar a Largo is like. They turn up his noses until he mentions getting a chickarffe for his animal crutelty wall. And i’m torn about Snerz. On one hand he can be generally entertaining in his dickery.. but ont he other I do question why he’s in EVERY episode. We don’t NEED him in eveyr one and I feel he’s only in them because Eddie Izzard was expensive so they had to get him as a regular to justify the cost. We really DONT’ need this scene funny as it is and it adds nothing so far. Maybe i’m wrong and these guys end up being important. I don’t know.
So yeah so far this episode was miserable getting through and I expected it to be another long sit... I was wrong. The second half.. is really damn good and reminded me why I liked this series so much. No really. We get two stories,both really good following one half of each pair teaming up. As for why their split Guy is annoyed with Sam, as well as dosen’t want him letting the chickaraffe out because you know lots of people dosen’t want ot go to jail and leaves to find a quiet place to work on watching paint dry while Michelle tucks a sleeping EB in, her first really truly humanizing moment, which should NOT have taken three episodes but hey, i’ll take it, and goes to find the same.
So starting with Sam and EB, naturally Sam takes all of a minute to let his buddy out and it gets loose on top of the train. EB hears the familiar sound and gives chase and the two meet properly. After Sam covers for his buddy and realizes the creature is asleep in his car safe now, he properly talks to EB and we get a truly magical sequnece: The two talk with Sam whoelheartdly supporting her free spirit and finally giving the girl what she badly needed: someone who treated her not as something to be tied down but you know.. a child who just wants some expression and as she literally lets her hair down, It’s truly adorable and it just has a magical quanitity as they enjoy the beautiful view from the train top.
Granted this takes at urn later when EB brings up her mom, and Sam.. supports her mom, pointing out she’s just looking out for her.. which she is but in a deeply unehalthy way and I don’t like the show just.. brushing over Michelle’s terrible actions because “she’s her mom”. But it’s also hard to tell if they are: Sam’s mom left him as we’ll find out, so he likely colors his memories of her rosey and simply envys EB still HAVING hers. It’s not BAD stuff but I don’t like a work saying “You should love your family just beacause your related”. Instead of because they lovea nd support you and if they dont’ love you or treat you remotely well or don’t give an ass about you fuck them. Thankfully I DO love my family and have no issues with them, my immediate family at least, but i’ve had friens with downright abusive or neglectful parents. It’s not that black and white. Ducktales also hammered in the family theme but was transparent in how it can me messy, harm each other and that it took true love and consideratoin for it to work at it’s core.
It’s still not a terrible scene and what comes next is neat as earlier it was shown the train has loops, because Seussworld, and now that’s a problem because their on top of it. Michelle’s jail braclet thing ends up coming in handy the first loop, as while she can’t unstick it means she and sam can suririvie it. They do get it loose, turns out the password was indeed password, because of course, and they end up narrowly suriving a roller coaster bit of track, with the help of MR. Jenkins who I can finally name because EB names her in the next scene. Understanding her need for a pet, Sam deputizes her, and gets her back in bed in time for the next plot.
Speaking of which winding back a bit as these two go back and forth, Guy goes through two rather hilarious cars: First a bath car that has a bubsby berkely style water number and then a model train car.. with the train on the track showing guy watching guy watchin gthe train etc.
It’s great. Guy ends up finding the quiet car.. and Michelle. And in her first scene of acting like a human being and not if julie powers was a soccer mom, Michelle, while standosfish as usual, not only unites with guy to shush a loud guy in the car, but is genuinely apricative when Guy helps her get her place back, she was doing some literal bean counting.
The two genuinely hit it off, first with some adorable silent bits and then by talking, with Michelle appreciating his now safer job and warming up to him. Keaton and Douglas have GENUINE chemestry and it annoys me itt took the series this long to use that instead of wasting Diane Keaton on being
It’s really great stuff and i’m actually rooting for the two.. once she gets her shit together obviously. Guy does make the mistake of lying abotu knowing about the chikcaraffe.
This ends up being bad as he finds out EB knows the next day and after she leaves the car RIGHTFULLY tears the fuck into same for getting him accused of crime, stealing from him and now puttin ghim in a precarious situation. While Guy DID lie, he idd so well meaningly and trying to impress someone whose ineherntly judgmeental. Douglas also does REALY well in the scene, calling sam out but it dosen’t feel cruel.. it’s justified. While guy is miserable and does need to work on himself.. Sam also needs to work on himself and is putting guy in serious danger just by forcing him into his animal smuggling scheme.
So Guy leaves.. and naturally given the unvierse hate shim runs into the BAD GUYZ, who aren’t much better. No really they refuse to belieive guy might be innocent, use excessive force on everyone. They have better GOALS than sam but I woudln’t really call them good people. Smash to black and we’re out.
Final Thoughts:
This one was better. As I said the first half or rather third drags slightly but once we get to the two seperate plotlines it’s REALLY damn good stuff and reminded me what the series was capable of in character in creativity. Hopefully it keeps this up
Next Time on the Blog: We return to mewni for the penultimate chapter of season 3 as Moon and Eclipsa have some fundemtnal disgareemnts on how to handle Meteora that wind up costing both dearly.
See you at the next rainbow
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Ive never really understood the hype surrounding Taylor Swift - I mean, I like some of her songs, but im not big on modern pop music so generally she just doesn’t really click for me. But I find it interesting that theres quite a few of Beatles/Swift blogs - like, they should have very little in common given that they’re from completely different eras and all, but somehow people seem to find a lot of semblance between the two. << and thats not me shitting on any of these blogs btw! Hope I don’t come off as rude or condescending there <3
Anyway, I was just wondering what got you into Taylor Swift? (I think ive read your post on how you got into the Beatles)
Hi, anon! Don't worry, I don't think you're rude or condescending!
I agree they don't have too much in common and I don't really like their music for the same reasons.* I do have a playlist of Paul songs that have similar vibes to Taylor songs but it's mostly lyric-based. (Also the Beatles For Sale songs actually have quite the Taylor-tinge because Paul and John were not immune to Country Music)
I saw @stewy say once that a possible reason there are a good handful of us Swiftie-Beatle People on here is the appeal of a vast discography, which I agree with. If you have an artist/group with 200ish songs, it's just really fun to really dive into their work and explore all the facets. I also think: we're talking about the most popular band of all time and one of the highest-selling artists of the 21st century. They have a lot of fans so there's bound to be overlap, regardless of musical differences.
Moving on to your question: Getting into Taylor was an extremely personal experience for me and so my explanation is probably going to be kind of long so I'll put it under a read more.
It was spring-summer 2014, I was 15. I had heard the more popular songs of hers starting with Love Story and enjoyed pretty much all of them (I always found her hopelessly romantic point of view fascinating) but before I got a Spotify account in 2013 it was difficult in general for me to really get into an artists' entire discography so most of her songs had flown under my radar.
At the time, I was in this very weird sort of codependent online friendship with this girl who was basically my first real best friend and my first more or less crush. She was very depressed and I was very much in an I Could Fix Her™ mood, except that I obviously couldn't fix her and it made me feel like I wasn't enough and she had begun pulling more and more away from me and not replying to my messages and it was simply driving me insane. I consider it the saddest period in my life.
at some point during this period, I started trying to connect with other people (all online, I didn't know how to talk seriously to anyone IRL) and explaining the issues I'd been having, and one of the people who brought me joy and whom I actually felt not drained talking to was a huge swiftie. And IDK the fact that she loved Taylor and the fact that talking to her made my life better (and also the fact that I liked all the Taylor songs I knew at that point) just made me decide to give her a listen. And I think that whole "large discography discovery" phenomenon really helped me at the time (funny, because her discography has doubled since then). It gave me something new to focus on; there were just so many songs to discover, all telling such rich stories. I also have always loved bridges, they are almost always my favourite part of a song. And Taylor, god-bless her, loves them too and always puts her ALL in them. Like pretty much every bridge of hers brings the song to the next level, and even a lot of her songs I don't adore tend to have great bridges (Stay Stay Stay and Paper Rings come to mind). I think one of her most underrated qualities is how good she is at song structure and really building up an entire musical journey with a song. She also almost always adds cool ad-libs in her second and third choruses to keep the songs interesting and dynamic (or at least since she's gone pop). Anyways, back to the story: Then Taylor announced 1989 as her next album and released Shake It Off, and it was just like this great happy thing for me to look forward to, when I had very little keeping me going. The era was promoting a lot of happiness which in hindsight was slightly fabricated and it was just a really great thing for me to latch onto.
At the same time I was coming to realize that I was gonna have to pull away completely from my friend and all those break-up songs just… Hit, y'know? Like, some people seem to think Taylor's a one-trick pony because she likes to write break-up songs but to me, break-ups are just like this moment where you as a human can potentially feel every single emotion, and Taylor's songs have covered every facet of the concept. Here are some songs I remember from that period, that all meant a lot to me at the time because they explained my own pain to me so well:
Haunted, for the absolute terror you feel in the first moments you realize someone is probably gonna leave you.
Come on, come on / Don't leave me like this / I thought I had you figured out / Something's gone terribly wrong / You're all I wanted.
I Almost Do, for the inner turmoil you feel when you know you have to stay away from someone for your own good but you really, really have to resist just running back to that person.
We've made quite a mess, Babe / It's probably better off this way / And I confess, Babe / In my dreams you're touching my face / And asking me if I wanna try again / With you / And I almost do.
Last Kiss, for that absolute sadness that comes simply with remembering everything that was good and not comprehending how it could've possibly ended.
I still remember / The look on your face / Lit through the darkness / At 1:58 / Words that you whispered / For just us to know / You told me you loved me / So why did you go / Away?
Forever and Always, for that feeling of desperately wanting to hold on to what you still have but at the same time realizing it probably isn't going to last and having no idea how to fix it, plus feeling like the other person doesn't even care.
So here's to everything / Coming down to nothing / Here's to silence / That cuts me to the core / Where is this going? / Thought I knew for a minute / But I don't anymore.
Dear John, my all-time favourite song, for that moment you find clarity and realize that you deserved better and that you were headed in an extremely dark direction because of this other person. [DISCLAIMER: my friend did NOT abuse me nor did we have some inappropriate age difference. But the way she would ignore me and her general moodiness really affected my own mental health and self-worth problems]
You paint me a blue sky / And go back and turn it to rain / And I lived in your chess games / But you changed the rules every day / Wondering which version of you I might get on the phone / Tonight / Well I stopped picking up / And this song is to let you know why.
(She's covered more aspects of break-ups in other songs [cheating, divorce, feeling awkward around your ex amongst others], these are just the ones I remember being really important to me when I was first getting into her)
She really helped me feel a lot less alone during one of my loneliest periods and I really can't thank her enough for that. Soon after this, I started crushing on a girl in my class and Taylor's love songs started to take on a new meaning for me as well.
What's crazy to me is, when she went on hiatus for a few years, a part of me thought maybe I'd grown out of her and no longer had much in common with her, but when reputation came out I was pulled right back into my love for her as a person and musician and then when Lover came out I found that she was still explaining feelings to me better than I ever could (specifically with the songs The Archer and Cornelia Street). And now with folklore and evermore she's simply absolutely perfected her story-telling and I find myself deeply moved even by the songs I don't directly relate to.
I feel like she has this amazing ability to find the absolute truth in the specific. I've never had a summer romance with someone who already had a girlfriend and mostly wanted to go back to her, and yet the bridge of august feels so real to me, y'know?
Back when we were still changin' for the better
Wanting was enough
For me, it was enough
To live for the hope of it all
Cancel plans just in case you'd call
And say, "Meet me behind the mall"
So much for summer love and saying "us"
'Cause you weren't mine to lose
It's hard to explain but looking at this, like it's so much more than the story it's telling. It's talking about how when you're young you really need so little to feel satisfied; how sometimes the idea of someone maybe spending time with you is better than actually doing things with other people; and how if someone using you without much thought can make you feel like you're not even entitled to grieve what you lost. Sorry. I'll stop. Don't want to go insane.
So, all of this is very personal and unique to me, but I think really the main thing that draws me to her is how vulnerable and honest she is about emotions, how eloquently she can explain the pain of being alive to me. Some people think she isn't the strongest singer, but I think, much like John actually, one of her greatest assets is how good she is at projecting emotion. The song happiness is a song I think has some lyrically weak moments but her vocal performance on it is so raw and devastating that every single line works even when, looking at it on paper, it feels like it shouldn't.
Hope this rambling made sense to you, lmao?? I love talking about Taylor though so thanks for the ask! Also very open to giving song recs if you do want to check her out more but I won't unless solicited to lmao
*Sort of off-topic but I do think there's a relation between my fascination with the Beatles' history and my love for a great break-up song. I like pain I guess :)
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I got a story idea earlier today, I posted two chapters on my wattpad today. Basically it's a story idea where Chloe has a twin sister. But the twin is actually nicer than Chloe and only does what Chloe tells her because she makes her. This is Stoneheart Orgins Part 2.Because of text limit I'll add two parts. If anyone has any questions about missing plot points you can just comment or I might post the first chapter. Also Chloe and Cameron aren't identical twins, they have the same hair color, but they have different eye color, they are fraternal twins even though they are the same gender. (If I got any facts about twins wrong please tell me.my mother is an identical twin so I don't really know much about fraternal twins as I've only met one set)
Cameron's POV:
On the TV:
Nadja: (standing to the side of a picture of one of Stoneheart's minions, tablet in hand) The stone beings are scattered all over Paris, and for the time being, they are showing no signs of movement. (a variety of pictures is shown) Police have cordoned off the area.
Father: (on television alongside officer Roger) We won't stop until we find a way to get these people back to their normal selves, but for now, we're not making much headway.
(The camera flips backs to Nadja standing next to a photo of Ladybug and Cat Noir.)
Nadja: Paris is relying on our new guardian angels, Ladybug and Cat Noir, to save us all. Our lives depend on them.
I'm going to go to bed for the night.. I just hope tomorrow will be better.
Ladybug and Cat Noir.. I believe in you. I trust you. I know you can save us.
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Morning
I better get dressed before Chloe complains..
"Cameron! I set out your clothes!" I hear Chloe call out.
"Oh yay. What would I do without you?" I say sarcastically
"You would do nothing without me, because I always outshine you." Chloe says
"I'm just gonna get dressed." I groan
I rush downstairs to the hall and am the first to see father.
"Hey dad." I say
"Cameron. Are you okay? You're not scared about everything going on right?" He asks
"No father, I trust you, Ladybug and Cat Noir. I know they will save us." I say
"Thank you sweetie, I'll do everything in my power to keep you and your sister safe." He says
"I know you will." I say giving him a hug.
---------------
A few minutes later..
Chloe comes downstairs.
"Hey is Jean whatever his name is ready with the car?" Chloe asks
"Yes, and remember to be safe dear." Dad says
"Yeah whatever. Come on Cameron!" Chloe says
I follow after Chloe and get in the limo.
-------------
In the limo
"And you better remember what we talked about last night." Chloe says
"Of course Chloe." I say
I forgot to write in my diary about the whole Stoneheart thing last night, but I guess I can do it later today. When Chloe isn't bothering me.
----
"Okay we're here." Chloe says
We exit the limo, greet Sabrina and enter the school.
"Woah look, it's Ivan." I say to Chloe.
"Let's go and see what the crowd around him wants." Chloe says with a suspicious looking smirk.
Oh no.. she's up to no good. She never is.
Especially when that look overtakes her facial expression.But I can't do anything no matter what she does... She warned me what will happen if I mess up again today. I just hope that she decides to be not so harsh for once, but the likelihood of that happening is slim to none unfortunately.
We walk over to the group.
"So you don't remember anything that happened? Alix asks Ivan.
"You were going ballistic! It was so cool!" Says Juleka.
"You were gonna crush me or something!" Says Kim
"I'm so sorry, I wasn't myself." Ivan says
"I'm sure Ivan didn't mean to-" I start
Chloe Elbows me.
"What did we just talk about Cameron?" Chloe asks
"Oh right sorry. " I say sadly
"Once a monster, always a monster!" Chloe says
Ivan growls and storms off.
"Oh and don't let the door hit you on the way out!" Chloe says laughing
-------------------
Third Person POV:
(I TOOK THIS FROM THE TRANSCRIPT AGAIN)
Scene: Hawk Moth's lair.
Hawk Moth: Yes… feel the burn of those words. Lose your temper, Ivan! Your akuma awaits you. (taps on the cane that is holding the akuma)
----------------
Cameron's POV:
"How could you say such horrible things to Ivan? You're the real Stoneheart!" Alya yells at Chloe
"Yeah, I'm the one who broke Sabrina's dad's arm.Back me up Cameron." Chloe says
"Just because you got that dumb footage of those superheroes doesn't mean you should get all high and mighty." I say
Chloe laughs and blows a bubble in Alya's face.
I do feel bad for what I said, but if Chloe ever catches me apologizing, it will be the end of me.
"Ugh! You little brats!" Alya starts
"Look everyone! She's angry! She's gonna split her underwear and turn into a huge muscly monster!" Chloe says
Alya growls and storms off.
Suddenly I see Adrien appear and wave to us.
"Hey Chloe, hey Cameron!" Adrien says
"Hi Adrien." I say
"Adrikins! You came!" Chloe says running over to him to hug him
I see a bunch of people who recognize him start to gush over him.
-------------------
"Isn't it amazing that you, me and my twin sister are all in the same class?!" Says Chloe
"Yeah, it is, I already have two people I know." Adrien says with a smile.
"Wow you look a lot like your mother." I say in awe.
"What?" He asks
"She said nothing." Chloe says while glaring at me.
"Cameron?" He asks
"Yeah, Chloe's right. I said nothing." I say
"One more slip up Cameron." She threatens
"I'm sorry, it won't happen again." I say
"Yeah, it better not." She says
I could've sworn Adrien passed a shocked look at Chloe, but that could be me just hoping someone heard her for once.
As we enter the classroom and Adrien finishes giving random people his autograph, Chloe rushes in front of us.
"Look Adrikins! I saved you a seat right in front of me!" Chloe says
"Thanks Chloe." Adrien says sitting next to Nino.
I sit in my seat behind Sabrina.
"Hi." Adrien says looking at Nino
"So you're friends with Chloe and Cameron?" Nino asks suspiciously
I feel bad for him anyway..
Suddenly I hear Adrien making an issue of something, I turn around and see Chloe and Sabrina putting gum on Marinette's seat.
"Woah, what are you doing?" Adrien asks
"The brats who sat here yesterday need some attitude adjustment, so I'm gonna teach it to them." Chloe says
Adrien gets up.
"I really don't think that's necessary." Adrien says
"Adrikins, no offense but you have a whole lot to learn about school culture." She says
"Didn't you already insult Alya in the hall?" I ask outloud on accident.
"Cameron what was that?" Chloe asks threateningly
"Nothing important." I say
"That's what I thought." She says
I look at the top of my desk sadly.
-------------
Suddenly I hear the familiar voice of Marinette shout.
"Hey! What do you think you're doing?" I hear her say.
I look up and see Adrien picking at the gum on Marinette's seat.
Oh poor Adrien..
"Um-" he says
Chloe and Sabrina laugh.
Chloe glares at me for not laughing, so I just go along with it.
"Haha so funny you four." Marinette says
"Wait, I was just trying to get it off!" Adrien says
"Sure you were." Marinette says
Chloe and Sabrina keep laughing.
"Ugh, you're friends with the terrible two huh?" She asks
Honestly I don't blame her for that comment, but it still hurts everytime someone compares me to Chloe.
"Why do people keep saying that?" I hear Adrien quietly and sadly ask.
Marinette covers her seat with a tissue, and the two sit down
"See what I mean about respect?" Chloe asks
Adrien sadly sighs.
"Hey where's Ivan?" I ask
"How should I know where that brute is?" Chloe asks
"Why didn't you tell them that it was 'The Terrible Two's' idea?" I hear Nino ask
"I've known Chloe and Cameron since I was little... and while they may not be perfect, I can't throw them under the bus, they're my only friends. And I'm starting to think Cameron might not really have much to do with Chloe's plans.." I hear Adrien say.
He's the first person who has ever said anything nice like that about me..
"The terrible two are a package deal my man.. but I'm Nino, and it's about time you made some new friends." I hear him say
He deserves good friends. I wish I was allowed to have friends...
---------------
Third Person POV:
(FROM THE TRANSCRIPT)
Scene: Hawk Moth's lair.
Hawk Moth: Yes. This is what I've been waiting for. You know the way, evil akuma. Track down your prey! Fly away and evilize him!
(The akuma held in Hawk Moth's cane exits it and flies out the window.)
-----
Scene: The locker room. Ivan is upset. The akuma flies in and infects Ivan's wadded-up song lyrics.
Hawk Moth: (from his lair) This is your second chance, Stoneheart, and this time you have extra help. No one will stop you from capturing the love of your life. Just remember, I'll need something in return.
(Ivan is akumatized into Stoneheart again. He opens his eyes and all the other stone beings across Paris start waking up.)
I'll link the rest of this chapter when I post the rest of it.
#miraculous ladybug#adrien agreste#marinette dupain cheng#mlb#miraculous au#miraculous Bourgeois twin au#chloe bourgeois#sabrina raincomprix
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It’s All Coming Back to Me Now 3/?
On tumblr : Part 1 here and Part 2 here
This chapter is more than 3000 words so if you want to read it on Ao3 click here.
The changed relationship between Catalina and Katherine remains pretty much a secret, even if not on purpose. It's just that nothing really changes for them. They are already living together (they will realise later on that nobody mentions it because they don’t know). Katherine calls Catalina mum or mamá only occasionally, and only when they are alone. She is working on the irrational fear that by showing how close they are, how much she loves Catalina, she will somehow lose her, but habits are hard to break. And while it always gives them a thrill to refer to the other as their mother/daughter, it’s something rarely needed as they don’t meet that many new people. Their now legal bond is as cherished as much as it is not talked about.
If you were to ask them why they never said anything to the other queens, they would just reply that it simply never came up. And it’s not like they don’t talk to the others. Things are much more relaxed since moving out. Distance and space definitely made for better relationships in their case. Of course, some grow closer more than others. Katherine, in particular, made an effort to stay in touch with all the others and build a relationship with every single one, but she quickly made it an unofficial rule not to talk about the other queens. Tired to spend half of their meetups providing updates about the others, she had finally sent a message to the group chat very politely saying that if they wanted to know how someone was doing they should ask the person in question and not her.
And it’s on that very group chat that Cathy requests a meeting, the first time they would get all together since they moved out of their shared house.
They are catching up when Catalina speaks up. ‘Not that this isn’t nice-’
‘Try not to sound so surprised. I’m a freaking delight to be around.’
Catalina’s glare at Anne lacks any heat. Just because she made Katherine laugh. You are supposed to be merciful towards the court buffoon, after all. It’s not like she suddenly likes her.
‘But is there a specific reason we are all here or....?’ all remaining chatter peters out and attention turns to Cathy.
‘Have you looked...read what they say about us? Yourself,’ she corrects herself. They have a sort of implicit agreement not to look into each other’s lives. As much as possible, at least, considering how interconnected some of their stories are.
Everyone nods, mood getting sombre.
‘From your faces I guess you don’t necessarily like what you found?’
‘It’s not about liking. Some things are just plain wrong.’ Jane’s comment gets another round of nods.
‘I agree. And that’s what I wanted to talk to you...Since we got a second chance, why don’t we make things right. Tell people what really went down. Like, I was not a glorified, old nursemaid.’
‘I was not ugly.’
‘You have always been stunning.’
Anna’s scowl turns into a soft smile towards Katherine.
‘I was not a witch. And I had a normal amount of fingers. And I definitely never did anything weird with my brother and-’
‘We get it, babe.’
Everyone – Catalina included – stops, surprised by the term of endearment. Maybe absence does make the heart grow fonder.
‘What if we could change that?’ Cathy jumps in, recovering. ‘If history remembers us wrong, we have the chance to make it right. Give our own version of the facts.’
‘I thought we were not supposed to talk about it? Like, tell people who we are?’ Jane points out. ‘We made a deal.’
‘A limited-time deal.’ It’s Anna who seems to catch on what Cathy is saying. There is still quite some time before it expires, but still...
‘Exactly. And when the gag order is done...I think it’s time we speak up.’
‘How?’
Everyone nods. They are not against it in principle, not at all, but they haven’t actually thought about the possibility before, so it’s a brand-new concept for them.
‘At first I thought about writing a book.’
‘Of course, you did.’
It might actually work, Cathy thinks looking at the queens, who all said it at the same time and are now sharing amused glances. And she’ll happily takes the teasing if that is what is needed.
‘But then I thought...how many people are actually going to read it? And what kind of people?’ Cathy continues. ‘I would like to think that nobody already interested in...history? The period? Us?...well, actually believes that Anne was a witch, for example. What we need is to change popular misconceptions and as much as it pains me to say it, I don’t think books would do the job. Then I thought...interviews. They surely would have more reach. But how would we choose? How many? Would we have control over the questions? And then Kat gave me the perfect idea. A fun, engaging one to take control of our narratives.’
‘Me?’ the youngest queen asks surprised.
‘Hamilton.’ It’s all Cathy says.
Catalina groans. ‘She got you too?’
Cathy has to guess that she has been subjected to the topic one too many times (Cathy doesn’t know that in the Trastámara house there is a limit of once a day per soundtrack...because Catalina appreciates music as any normal person does or even more, but Katherine gets obsessed. For weeks she had listened to those 46 songs – yes, she counted them – on repeat, and she had to put a stop to it. Once a day is enough, thank you very much). The other queens are nodding, so it seems that everyone has at least heard Kat talking about it.
‘You want to write a musical about ourselves?’ Anne asks, sounding intrigued.
‘I want us to write it. But yes. If we do it well, it would have a bigger audience than an interview or a book could ever reach.’
‘Except that not anyone can write a musical.’ Anna points out, sceptical.
‘I seem to remember some people having quite the musical skills.’ Cathy didn’t read up on the others, but being the last queen means that she had heard stuff about her predecessors. And while she knows to take with a pinch of salt (or a whole handful of it) what people were saying, even at the time, she doesn’t think that would be something worth lying about. What’s the point of spreading false rumours about Catherine of Aragon or Anne Boleyn being accomplished musicians and talented singers? Cathy herself had vocal and instrumental music training, just like them and Kat too.
Cathy chances a glance at the youngest queen. Hopefully the others will think that it’s knowledge from the past – which mainly is – and not related to anything Kat had shared with her. Like the fact that despite some hang-ups, she had decided to take up music again, not wanting bad memories to ruin forever something she loved. She had started with the ukulele figuring it was the most similar she could get to a lute, before moving to guitar. Then on keyboard…money and space wise a piano was just not feasible for where she lived, Kat had explained. Similar issues, along with the noise, are the ones keeping her away from drums (Catalina has been extremely supportive but putting up with her learning how to play drums might be a bit too much even for her). So she had settled on a woodwind instrument as the next one to pick up. Kat credits her past life’s experiences with flute, lute and virginal, and the wonders of internet for her ability to teach herself. She is even considering whether going for it more seriously. Well, not that she isn’t taking it seriously now, she spends long hours practicing, but more like...academically or professionally. They had various conversations about it, about her maybe joining a school or getting a degree or if she should just try to get a jig or something like that. Cathy won’t lie and say that their chats didn’t play a part in her proposing the musical idea, knowing that at least one of them had enough music knowledge and talent in this new life of theirs to pull it off, but she isn’t sure how much Kat had told the others so she doesn’t want to bring it up if Kat doesn’t.
While Catalina and Kat are looking thoughtful, and Anne interested, Jane and Anna still look unconvinced.
‘We can always ask for professional help.’ Cathy concedes. ‘But we should be the one deciding what to say. That’s the whole point. Let’s just try writing something. Ideas. What we want people to know. Type of music. Inspirations. Then we can see what we have and go from there.’
‘What are you proposing exactly?’
‘Let’s try to write a song each.’
.
They all agreed on going in order but now Catalina is deeply regretting it. Because she has to stand up in front of the others and tell them that she doesn’t have her song ready. She has been dreading the meeting. She knows she doesn’t have to be perfect all the time in this life lest something terrible happens. She knows she can’t be perfect all the time. But she still feels uncomfortable showing any kind of weakness. Especially in front of her fellow queens. And the only one whom she allowed herself to be vulnerable with is not currently there. Katherine had texted the group chat saying that she was on her way but was going to be late. Indeed, the catching up part is now over and all the attention shifts to Catalina.
‘So...’ Queens do not fidget. That has been drilled into her and any instinct to do it eradicated centuries ago, which is the only reason she is not fidgeting as everyone looks at her. ‘I have some words,’ she doesn’t dare to call them lyrics, ‘but I don’t really have anything music-wise.’
‘I do!’ Kat bursts into the room, panting. ‘Sorry I’m late, I lost track of time.’
‘You do?’
Kat smiles at Catalina sheepishly. ‘I had some ideas when you showed me what you wrote and thought I’d try them out. I wanted it to be a surprise, but not like this. I was planning to let you listen to it first, but I sort of just finished it? That’s why I was late. Of course, you don’t have to like it. Or listen to it at all. You know what? Let’s forget about it. I’m sure you’ll come up with something much better yourself and you don’t need-’
‘Breathe.’ Catalina waits until she sees the girl taking a couple of deep breaths, short-winded both from running there and then her ramblings. ‘Let’s hear my song.’
‘Are you sure? Because-’
‘I trust you.’ She does. Katherine has talent, she knows it better than anyone else. She is the one witnessing the ease with which she picks up new instruments or how she can play music by ear after listening to it a handful of times. The one who has the privilege to listen to her playing and singing around the house (and now she knows why lately it had happened less, if Katherine had been working on the song for her). But most importantly she trusts her because Katherine knows her. Better than anyone else. She knows her tastes, musical ones included. And she knows her story. Her side of the story.
Katherine takes out her laptop. ‘It’s quite rough, obviously. And the key is-’
‘Just let us hear it.’
Kat nods. She looks down at the papers full of scribbles in front of her. Takes a breath. Then starts the music.
You must agree that, baby, in all the time I’ve been by your side
I've never lost control, no matter how many times I knew you lied
Have my golden rule
Got to keep my cool, yeah, baby
And even though you've had your fun
Running around with some pretty young thing
And even though you've had one son
With someone who don't own a wedding ring
No matter what I heard, I didn't say a word
No, baby
Katherine looks at Catalina to gauge her reaction at the first part of the song. She has a small smile and she is nodding to the rhythm. Encouraging.
I've put up with your sh- like every single day
But now it's time to shh, and listen when I say
It’s Katherine’s spin on Catalina’s words. She isn’t sure she will want to leave the ‘swear’ in, but she just had to do it and try. She knows it’s not something people would expect from the first queen, but she had in mind the Catalina she knows rather than the one people think they know. And her Catalina is not shy about swearing as long as they are alone.
You must think that I'm crazy
You wanna replace me, baby there's
N-n-n-n-n-n-no way
If you think for a moment
I'd grant you annulment, just hold up, there's
N-n-n-n-n-n-no way
She had needed something to make the tempo works, and then she had remembered Catalina calling Anne babe during the last meeting, and she decided to try it out. Also it makes for a slightly condescending tone towards Henry, calling him baby, which Katherine likes and thinks Catalina will do too.
So you read a bible verse that I'm cursed
'Cause I was your brother's wife
You say it's a pity 'cause quoting Leviticus
"I'll end up kiddy-less all my life"
Well, daddy, weren't you there, when I gave birth to Mary?
That had been a struggle to work out, but Katherine had really wanted to include it because it was so important. The reason Henry adduced seeking the annulment was completely unfounded and people had to know it.
You're just so full of sh-, must think that I'm naive
I won't back down won't shh, and no, I'll never leave
You must think that I'm crazy
You wanna replace me, baby, there's
N-n-n-n-n-n-no way
If you thought it'd be funny, to send me to a nunnery, honey, there's
No way
Catalina doesn’t seem to hate it and the others are nodding along to the beat, Katherine notices as she looks up from her notes. There will be work to be done for sure, but maybe they have a good starting point.
‘Dance break?’ Katherine speaks up as the music continues.
‘You always loved a good dance.’ Anne points out, remembering her time at court with her, Jane nodding along.
It’s true. What they don’t know is that she had taken it up again. Encouraged by Katherine pursuing her love for music, she had decided to do the same with her passion for dancing. It’s not something she could see herself doing seriously as Katherine does with playing instruments, but she is loving attending classes and practicing on her own in the privacy of their living room, sometimes making up new routines, sometimes involving Katherine when she needs a partner.
You got me down on my knees
Please tell me what you think I've done wrong
Been humble, been loyal, I've tried to swallow my pride all along
If you can just explain a single thing
I've done to cause you pain, I'll go
No?
You've got nothing to say?
I'm not going away
You made me a wife, so I'll be queen 'til the end of my life
Catalina had considered herself married and the legitimate queen until her last days…and Katherine with her. It’s only recently that she had considered how her life would have been different – if at all – had she joined Anne’s household like her step-grandmother had been planning. She is quite sure that at the time she would have been less than happy to be around the ‘usurper’ of what she still thought of as her queen, even months after her death.
There's no way
‘Not sure about the end. Maybe another chorus? Or...I don’t know. Like I said, it’s quite rough, I rushed it a bit, especially the last part, I can think about it more and see-’
‘This is rough?!?’
‘Well...yeah? I just took what she wrote and tried to put it in music, but it could be so much better. Like harmonies! Or, you know, add stuff, take it out...change it completely if you don’t like it.’ She is now talking to Catalina.
‘Some bits and bobs, but honestly? I loved it.’
‘Really?’
‘Do I make a habit to say things I don’t mean?’ Catalina looks at her with a raised eyebrow. She shakes her head with a smile at the mumbled sorry she gets.
‘How did you do it?’ Anne interrupts the exchange. ‘Like, the backing track?’
‘Oh. Well, I recorded each instrument separately. Then overlapped the individual tracks. Which was honestly the hardest part. Learning how to use the software.’
‘Would you mind giving me a hand?’ Anne asks her cousin. ‘Once I have the lyrics down, I mean. I’ve been messing around with a keyboard and got myself a guitar, but it was going to be a stripped-down version, like, acoustic, with whatever it worked better for the song. But if you can do the other instruments and put everything together...’
‘Of course! Just let me know what you need and when!’
‘I might look into some practice rooms. Possibly with instruments. I’ve been dying to get my hands on some drums!’
‘Me too!’
‘Really?’ Catalina hopes her dread isn’t too obvious. She isn’t going to stop her, but she isn’t looking forward to it, if she has to be honest.
‘It’s not going to happen, don’t have the space. Or soundproofing.’ Kat reassures her.
‘We can learn together!’
‘I have been thinking...about a possible structure.’ Cathy says, encouraged by the enthusiasm of the cousins. ‘We said one song each, then I’m thinking maybe one for introduction and one as conclusion? An introductory song to explain what we’re doing? And one last song so that we don’t end with my song. Kind of a final message? About us reclaiming our stories or something?’
‘We could sing them all together!’
‘Oh!’ Kat perks up at Anna’s words. ‘We could add some chorus and stuff in Catalina’s song, like backup singers?, so that it’s not just her singing and us waiting around-’
‘Wait. Her. US? Are we supposed to sing ourselves?’ Jane stops her.
‘I thought so?’ Kat looks around. Jane does the same. It does seem like that’s what the others thought too.
‘Let’s worry about that later.’ Cathy can see that Jane is not particularly convinced about that, but she doesn’t want her to worry about it now. ‘We can get professional singers just like we can get professional writers, if needed.’
‘Another thing…not sure if it’s relevant now, because Kat sort of already did it. But I was going to say that we should make it modern?’ Anna suggests. ‘If it’s just a history lesson, it’s gonna be boring. Not saying that Catalina’s song was boring. At all. But. I don’t know. It’s something I wanted to bring up before hearing it, so...’ she shrugs.
Upon Catalina’s suggestion, they agree on not having set deadlines for when a queen is supposed to deliver her song. It had stressed her out quite a lot having to come up with something by a fixed date, especially when she couldn’t. And without a delivery deadline, Kat would have had the time to show her what she was doing, and they could have worked on it together. They are going to do it now, so it’s not that much a problem, but there is no reason they have to do things in a hurry.
________________________
As usual, started as something turned out so much more…included a take on how the musical was born. I always love reading fics about it…guess it was inevitable I’d take my shot at it too. I don’t know much about music and I’m aware that’s probably not how writing a musical works…but this is fiction so please bear with me.
#six the musical#six the musical fanfiction#six fanfiction#catherine and katherine#six fic#six the musical fic#my six posts#six writing#mywork#my ideas#fic: It’s All Coming Back to Me Now#my posts#six the musical fanfic#six fanfic
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Quick first thoughts on the first ep of the Hypmic Anime. Spoilers beware (and im writing this as I watch so :p)
Otome’s speech is.... questionable from a persuasive point of view. Manga did a great job of introducing her (which you can read here) but they really cut out the more terrifying parts of her speech and how she uses force to show people that she's not to be messed with
Its cool seeing everyone in their respective environments though. thats cool. Though they could have added Sasara and Kuuko (shhh i know why they didn’t let me dream)
I love how poppy the typography is. Its amazing how the visuals just leap out at you. The OP does a great job of this. The first few seconds before the title really gives me Persona 4 OG OP vibes with the influx of information given. The rest is a clear concise and streamlined way that still gives character. Animation is sparse but still carries across a general idea of each character and shows off each character object. Rendering is really nice and pays a bit of homage to the posing artwork thats done for the MVs. They also do their division hand signals and thats cute
Love how the OP has blatant HifuDoppo and DRB matchup foreshadowing
so far I really like what theyre going for. BB is about brotherly familial bonds and they show the goods and the bads. Jiro and Saburo bickering right out the gate really cements the fact that they get along like cats and dogs but you can still see that they love each other, working together when the situation calls for it
Now the 3d models. Theyre... not great but usable if you don’t look too hard. They serve their purpose and don’t actively detract from the viewing experience.
Visual typography in the rap itself are fun and poppy but they dont.... speak to me? like theyre there yes and I appreciate them but the only ones that got me excited were from Ichiro’s rap
I take my words back the group portion was kickass and I apologize
I love how they interpret the Hypnosis Speakers though. Esp. Saburo’s organs. That was super creative and I love it! If there was one thing that I felt was missing from the franchise was a deeper exploration of the speakers but the anime puts a new and fresh spin on it! Love it, especially with their attack patterns!
If the production team ever feels inclined to, Id love to see those info sheets on Otome’s desk released. There seems to be very interesting info and stats written out about each member (like capabilities, personal status etc.) They all seem unique too so I really really really hope they release images of those sheets
OOOOOOOOKAY MTC. I have such a big biased for them so Im very torn to see what unfolds
Rio striking out on his own is interesting. Out of everyone in MTC hes the biggest team player yet here he trusts his teammates to go ahead. This either displays Rio’s willingness to trust his teammates or it becomes very OOC if the anime wants to set him up as a lone wolf like character
I love how they specify its a drug deal. It means that Jyuto surely will show up and it also shows that Samatoki knows Jyuto’s motives and willingly gives black market info that he knows aligns with Jyuto’s goal. Thats A+ detail writing there and a great establishing characteristic for both of them
OOohhhhhhhhhhhhh man Asunama-san’s voice acting is god tier his work as Samatoki is phenomenal. He pulls of Samatoki’s threatening voice so well with those almost calm words before his voice becomes loud and confrontational. Those rolling syllables in contrast to Komada-san’s almost lyrical and airy speech and Kamio-san’s strict and enunciated words is such a delight to hear. It just speaks to how amazing and great these Seiyuu’s are in order to pull of such amazing work
Im so biased but MTC has such a better rap than BB im so sorry. Just by watching Samatoki’s part, the imagery is amazing. Even the arrival of his Hypnosis Speaker was awesome and sent a shiver down my spine. using the lyrics to form blades and blood was such a great thing to do. Theres so much more variety that just him standing there and shots of his hypnosis speaker. The old fashioned vignette shots, the four panel spread, the nods to old Kurosawa era films are great and I love these small details. Even the typography looks better.
Again, the interpretations with the speakers is fresh and new. Its great and I love the different imagery and attack patterns. Each one is so unique but carries across each different style of rap.
The 3d modles aren’t any better tho lol
(Hi this is Astro who is reading over their assessment again and making a note. Yeah I’m a bit harsh on BB’s rap. I’m not going to change it since I still stand by it and this post is supposed to be a documentation of my first impressions. I think one of the reasons why I’m so harsh on BB is because of their dynamic as a trio of brothers. They Have to have a more uniform approach than the other divisions. Which in of itself isn’t a terrible thing, it just doesn’t catch my eye as much as MTC did. Thats all! I definitely don’t hate BB, they’re maybe my 3rd favorite division out of the current lineup [not including TDD era teams like Kujaku Posse, MCD, and Naughty Busters] its just that their rap was pretty meh)
Samatoki crouching like a real gangstar and the cigarette kiss killed me
sadjkhfjkasdghsadjkcsdjhsdfsjhf im dying i love these trio of dumbasses so uch oh y fod someone save me aaaaaaaa (Astro note here! yeah i died when the jyuto and samatoki’s stomach growled im weak please. Samatoki’s face is just so precious and funny I might set it as a profile pic somewhere)
But also my initial assessment of Rio possibly being characterized as a lone wolf is very much jossed and im very thankful for that. It seems that Rio was simply trusting his teammates to carry out their part of the plan while he carried out his own. I like that, it really shows how much of a team these three are and that they genuinely trust each other. He’s also comfortable enough around them to invite them to dinners after work casually and not just for special occasions.
I really love MTC guys
Oooh! we get Ramuda on his design process which is really cute. the inside of his studio is super cute and retro and i love it. the poppy old music you would hear in a cafe or 90′s resturaunt is also really cute (astro note: yeah i know that in ARB you see the interior of Ramuda’s office but its kinda different seeing it animated)
the translation i have has gentaro speaking in early modern english (Shakespearian english for those who aren’t english nerds like me) but from what I can hear, he doesn’t speak in a particularly old fashioned way? Its more formal than old? and hes speaking without any of his character persona lying thing that he likes to do (as he refers to himself as “Shousei” throughout the segment where hes in Ramuda’s office which is kind of his default pronoun of choice). so its kinda odd for the translation to go in that direction but im not complaining
Gendice banter is gold but it feels... flat? a little? it doesn’t have the same impact as in the drama cds or in the manga? i feel? Also Ramuda using gratuitous english is??? idk how to feel about that
kjshf thats against the rules Ramuda omgggg,,,,,,,, (astro note again: while watching i was under the assumption that using your hypmic for monetary gain such a as buskering [which is what FP is doing] is against the rules. May not be the case but whatever)
FP’s rap might be my favorite in terms of tune and lyrics though. It’s a nice laid back bop and really gives of chill vibes. the integration of 3d and 2d is really nice and i love how they play off each other in the rap. The wordplay is so fun with little nods here and there and the beat is poppy too so it really energizes me.
Ramuda’s rap concerns me slightly since he makes very subtle and small nods towards his past (being created in a laboratory, warfare, and his overall very unpleasant life experiences) but spins it into something cutesy. It could be a coping mechanism, it could be me overthinking it. But it does make me worry a bit. Gentaro and Dice’s rap really play off each other with Gentaro sticking to stories and Dice taking up the baton by carrying on that same imagery but putting his own spin on it.
the self awareness of how scattered they are as a team is interesting though. It doesn’t seem like something you’d speak about in a rap? but i guess since its not really a do or die situation they can afford to be looser on things like this.
Right off the bat, i don’t like how they handled Hifumi and Doppo in relation to Hifumi’s fear of women. Slug made a post once talking about this and I echo many of his sentiments. Hypmic has never been very tactful about tackling this particular issue and while I didn’t have high hopes that the anime would be any better it hurts to see Doppo take away the one thing that allows Hifumi to function within society.
Doppo’s breakdown mirrors a lot of my own mental state when I spiral though its shown a lot quicker than what happens to me oof. that hits close to home. though Jakurai’s advice is. Questionable. Its not the best advice to give to someone but we have no idea what kind of doctor Jakurai is so ill let it slide
Jakurai’s pose looks like hes going to do a mahou shoujou transformation lmao
I don’t have many thoughts about the rap though again. How they visualize the rap is interesting. the different imagery is quite interesting for each of them and the typography is nice a distinct but im still on the fence about the visuals here
The sound is in the same boat. The sound effects either drown out the rap or are too quet but some parts are nice at least. When they talk about Tokyo’s beating heart, the heartbeat sound is a but distracting especially since its only played once. But the imagery is at least nice
I wonder if for the eds they’re going to take a similar approach to what Enstars did and have a four different endings, one for each division. I love the blend of styles here and it really accentuates that although they’re different they mesh well together.
Ramuda’s silhouette though is hilarious. Love it.
:p and thats it. Uh not bad for a first episode. Established all 12 characters really nicely and their dynamics. I had some problems with it but then again nothing is perfect. I look forward to what they show us next week
#hypnosis mic#hypmic#hypnosis mic rhyme anima#hypnosis mic rythme anima spoilers#hypmic spoilers#my post
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In Golden Light
A/N: There’s no lore here. There’s no plot here. There’s not even song lyrics. I literally dreamed this entire fic and then decided to write it down because I was SAD I didn’t get to finish telling Dream!Damien his bedtime story. Also because we’re living in a goddamn plague, I’ve written at least 50k of tragedy and trauma navel-gazing, I have earned this self-indulgent fluff. Thank you.
Warnings: slight unreality [it’s established that this is a dream sequence], alcohol
Ships: MayorAttorney, Celine/Mark
It is Christmas Eve, 1929.
This is a life that could have been. This is a world that will never be. This is a dream, a beautiful lie, but for a moment, it is joy incarnate.
This is a life where there is no dark thing stalking the halls of the Barnum manor, no shadows waiting to collect on ambiguous debts, no gaps between worlds for children to fall through. There is no thousand-eyed abyss that twists Mark into a mockery of its own monstrousness. There is no memory-eating void that takes and takes from William until he forgets how to be. There are no hissing whispers that dig into Tess’s skin until she becomes a caricature of herself.
It is a year after a poker party that never came to pass, because this is a life without the ugliness of scandal, without Celine’s unhappiness, without heartbreak and pain.
Celine is seated in one of the overstuffed armchairs they’ve dragged into the parlor, her shoes discarded with her stockings and her legs pulled up beneath her. There is a glass of red wine on the table beside her. It is not her first, and she can feel the rush of it starting to crawl through her limbs and make her sleepy. She imagines, half-drunk, that Mark will either have to leave her to sleep in the chair or carry her up to their room. She thinks she’ll insist that he do so. If he can’t, it will at least be funny to watch, and she has earned a good laugh at her husband’s expense.
It is only the five of them (Celine, Mark, Damien, William, and Tess) left in the manor now; even Benjamin, the chef, and George have been sent home for the holidays (Tess insists upon it; she remembers too many Christmases spent without her mother). But the walls are still covered in streamers and decorations, and there are still fallen balloons scattered across the floor.
The day before, they’d hosted the Barnums’ annual Christmas charity ball. With William’s parents visiting relatives, it had been the first year Celine had organized the damn thing as the “lady of the house”. It had gone off wonderfully, she’d been praised to the high heavens for it by the same housewives who gossiped about her behind their fans, and she’d at least cemented Mark’s status in society for another year.
In reality, of course, Tess had dragged her through it with white-knuckles, while Damien brought them both whatever confections they requested while they poured over guest lists. There was something to be said, Celine thought, about having the mayor for a brother and the district attorney for a sister-in-law. Although she didn’t know how the two of them had managed to dodge their hosting duties for another year.
It doesn’t matter; the past is past, and now Celine can get horribly drunk on expensive wine, and go back to terrorizing society ladies by offering to read their cards.
Mark stands at the bar, sipping on the same flute of champagne he’s had in his hand for the last hour. Everyone else is polite enough to pretend like they don’t notice. It isn’t that his sobriety would be an issue--Tess is terrorizing William behind the bar, challenging him to make more and more complicated virgin versions of drinks. It’s more that, even among the people who love him best, he does not like the concept of being out of control.
He loves the spotlight. It keeps him in money, and it makes him happy. But he thinks that this is all he really needs, at the end of the day: his wife, eyes droopy with sleep and a soft smile on her face, curled up in her favorite chair. Tess and William, ribbing each other, the way they always did as children, occasionally calling his name to mediate whatever nonsense argument they’ve gotten themselves into.
When he looks over this time, William has left a dollop of whipped topping on Tess’s nose, and though she’s called for a referee, she’s valiantly attempting to lick it off while laughing. Mark shakes his head and looks away--he’s not getting involved with that one.
He’s in between films at the moment. Underneath the tree is a present with Celine’s name on it. She’ll open it in the morning, find two plane tickets inside: New Orleans. They’ve been before, but he knows she’d like to go again. They’ll leave the manor in William’s care (or, really, Benjamin’s) while they’re gone, and enjoy a well-earned vacation after all the anger Celine suppressed while playing hostess. He’s happiest when she is happiest.
William is tending bar all night--it’s his designated role when they have these little get-togethers. Usually, he foists the worst concoctions he can think of upon his friends, terrible things that he learned from friends in the army when they needed to get drunk and didn’t have much at hand. One year, the “winner” of his nightmare mixes was declared to be “only suitable as car fuel” by Damien, the schmuck unlucky enough to choose it from the tray of shot glasses.
He likes the bar for another reason: it puts his back to the wall. It’s not a thing he’s consciously aware of anymore, but he likes to be able to see the entirety of a room through his crooked glasses. Likes to know what’s behind him. Likes to ignore the tremor the war left in his hands. It’s been a decade; he’s talked about it, in pieces, with Tess, and it has helped. But there are still ghosts that linger, even in this world without shadows.
He knows the others are watching their drunken feet to keep from popping any of the half-deflated balloons on the floor so that they don’t startle them. He appreciates it in a way he’ll never speak out loud. Instead, he leans across the bar with a napkin to wipe the topping off of Tess’s nose, only to be swatted away while she insists she’ll do it herself.
He’s sampling his own creations tonight, since Tess is being stubbornly sober and instead insisting on virgin drinks. He misses, sometimes, the nights they’d get drunk together, when she was in university and trailing Damien to every party on campus. But she has become respectable. Gotten herself elected to office. Finally married Damien, after a lifetime of pining for one another. William’s father gave her away at the wedding, and William vehemently denies ever crying when he saw her in her wedding dress.
William is still between careers. He imagines he always will be. He’s got his family money to fall back on, to fund his travel. He’s at least stopped chasing thrills. When he travels, it’s because there’s a job at the other end of it for him; private security things, mostly, but he knows what he’s good at. It worries Tess. He promises her he’ll be safe. He’ll have to promise her that in the morning, but at least he will be able to do it with the letter he’s tucked into her gift beneath the tree: it is a scarf from Paris. He can imagine her tying it over her hair while she drives.
Tess is...Tess is. She started off drinking virgin daiquiris, and she’s not sure what she’s onto now, other than it involved William swearing quite colorfully. She is in a comfortable nightgown, which isn’t unusual at these family gatherings; she simply doesn’t see the point of dressing up for the people who know her best. She has to perform in court and in her offices every day of her life. She gets to be a carefree child again here at Christmas.
In the end, of course, she wipes the topping off of her nose and licks it from her thumb while William isn’t looking. She’s tried her best to lick it off of her nose, to no avail, and she’s certainly not going to call for Mark to come mediate again. A quick glance at him reveals that he is kneeling in front of Celine, talking to her gently with a doting smile on his face, and Tess quickly looks away. It makes her happy to see him happy--she can barely remember those days when she felt jealous of their joy.
She has everything she ever dreamed of, when she laid in bed and dreamed of a future she thought could not be. These moments are all that matter.
Yes, in the morning, she will have to rouse Damien from his hangover and drive the pair of them home after opening presents. In a few days, she will have to return to her office to deal with the post-holiday build-up. At some point, she and Damien will have to have a serious talk about their work; there is trouble coming to the city, and they can both see it. There are a million things to worry about. But for now--for now she can sit at the bar, drinking some combination of orange juice and limes that is certain to burn her stomach, and smile at her brothers.
“Hey,” Mark says from behind her, gently putting his hand on her shoulder. “It’s almost midnight. Do you want to go get him, or should I?”
She laughs. “I’ll do it. No promises, though.”
And she stands, stretches, and leaves to find her husband.
Damien has forgotten that he is not eighteen anymore, and that his tolerance for alcohol does in fact have a limit. He’s also forgotten, somehow, how dangerous it is to take a drink from William without questioning it. It’s a mistake he makes every year, to the point where Tess suspects it is not a mistake at all.
Either way, he had been the first to lose himself in the drink, and thus the first to be put to bed in a dark spare room on the first floor. She’d stumbled him in there herself, his arm slung across her shoulder and his legs barely working to help her, while Mark and William muffled their laughter behind their hands. Damien’s been sleeping (she hopes) for the better part of two hours.
But it is almost midnight, and there is a tradition: they watch the clock turn to midnight together, all of the Barnums in one room, and tell each other “Merry Christmas” as soon as the last chime has struck. In hindsight, she thinks it was a way to make the children feel special, to let them stay up past their bedtimes--though they very rarely made it without naps. It certainly kept them asleep well into the next morning, when they finally collapsed in their beds sometime around 12:30, and she imagines it afforded the Barnums and her own mother plenty of extra time to put their presents from Santa Claus into position.
They still stay up til midnight, though it seems less magical with adulthood. She doesn’t want Damien to miss it. He’ll whine if he does, apologize until she wants to pinch his cheek and stop him.
The bedroom is still dark. Damien is a nondescript lump on the bed. She considers, briefly, turning on the lights, and then decides against it.
She sits beside him and rests her arm on his side. His back is to her. He grumbles in a way she knows too well; asking for more time. No doubt he thinks she’s come to wake him up for a meeting.
Tess leans over to trace a line up his nose, between his brows, and draw a circle on his forehead with the pad of her finger. A morning ritual. She can’t remember when she started doing it, or why, only that it’s what she needs to do in this moment. It’s what she’s supposed to do.
“It’s time to wake up,” she whispers, trying to be mindful of the headache she’s sure he’s already feeling.
More grumbling, though his eyes at least crack open to look up at her. He sighs and turns his face towards the warmth of her hand, like he’s trying to burrow into her.
“Tell me a story,” he mumbles.
She laughs. “A story?”
“Mm-hm.”
She can hear Mark calling her name from down the hall. She might miss midnight with the others. She doesn’t want to yell down and tell him that she doubts she’ll be able to get Damien up in half an hour, let alone a quarter. But she can tell him a story.
“Okay. Once upon a time, there was a young girl with two older sisters--”
Damien takes her wrist, gently, trying to shake his head. “Nooooo. Not that one.”
He’s never objected to Beauty and the Beast before. Tess pauses for a moment, tries to think; there are only a few stories she knows by heart, but she can always try to invent one. They will certainly miss midnight. She thinks it’s okay. She thinks this is okay. She thinks--she feels like she should be crying, though she doesn’t know why.
She takes a deep breath, and she begins again.
#who killed markiplier#wkm#wkm fanfic#mayor damien#mayor attorney#came *this* close to ending this with 'it is christmas eve 1929'#but decided to spare you all and myself#but just know. thats the True Ending. :)
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Miraculous Fanworks Fanfiction Compilation: August 2020 Exchange
Image credit.
Miraculous Fanworks Fanfiction Compilation: August 2020 Exchange
Welcome to the compilation for the August 2020 Exchange on the Miraculous Fanworks Discord server!
On the server, we host events every month. This August, we hosted a fanfiction exchange.
A fanfiction exchange is where fanfiction authors submit an offer and a request, and are then matched with fellow writers who would like to write their requests.
This is the compilation of all the authors who published works for the August 2020 exchange.
Enjoy!
Everybody is Confused, Nobody is Responsible by Ambrosia_678
for MyMayura
https://archiveofourown.org/works/26072089/chapters/63411766
When Adrian accidentally finds out his father's alter ego, everyone has to make some hard choices.
Origin of All that is Good (We'll Go Together) by faelynwythe
for tbehartoo
https://archiveofourown.org/works/26193631/chapters/63742417
In an ancient time and land, the great goddess Ladybug has all but lost her influence upon the world, save for a single young man who still believes in her with everything he has.
august rain by fictionalinfinity
for miraculousandstrangerthingsworld
https://archiveofourown.org/works/26097877
Over the years, the umbrella comes to mean different things for Adrien. From empty promises to flourishing friendships and secret identities, he finds that there’s more to the rain than just the thunder.
You Had Me at Bonjour! by JaydenMarie
for Rikkapikasnikka
https://archiveofourown.org/works/26189995/chapters/63732202
More than anything in the whole world, Marinette wished someone would say his name again. Alix kept calling him Bozo, but she knew that was most certainly not his name. She’d been far too flustered by his painted nails, the blue running through his black hair, his open shirt and his bare chest, his voice...UGH. What was she thinking about again? Oh. His name. Marinette certainly couldn't spend an entire weekend in Phuket calling him Soft Hands Guy, could she? Lukanette
A Game of... Bug and Chat by JuliaFC
for fictional infinity
https://archiveofourown.org/works/26065015
A revealing dream leads Marinette to suspect the identity of her Minou. Being the Guardian, she could just ask him to show her... but where's the fun in that? Marinette starts a game to "spice up" the reveal. Will an extremely flustered Adrien survive flirty!Marinette's "ordeal"? And will Marinette keep her cool when the tables will be reversed? Read and find out! Plenty of Adrinette :)
Lazy Morning at home by Khanofallorcs
for PurpleFlower04
https://archiveofourown.org/works/26112136
Determined to help Marinette relax after weeks of hard work, Adrien plans to surprise his girlfriend with breakfast in bed, on the morning of her 23rd birthday.
Perhaps Love by L3245
for JaydenMarie
https://archiveofourown.org/works/26154802/chapters/63636466
‘Being known is being loved… and then what?’ He bites his lip. ‘Come on, Luka… you had this.’Luka has never written a love song. It's not that he hasn't tried--he has, but nothing has ever felt right. It's never bothered him, until one day the words hit him out of the blue. Being known is being loved. Then there are incomplete lyrics and a half-baked tune stuck in his head until he finds a way to finish them.Perhaps a chance encounter (or five!) with a clumsy, but attentive girl will help.
Is There a 101 on Crushes with Secret Identities? by Lethargic_Pink
for MissNoodles
https://archiveofourown.org/works/26199550
What is Marinette going to do when they both, accidentally, find out each other's identities?Well, of course, she's going to challenge him to a game of flirting, because that's totally Marinette.
The Unfortunate Flour Incident by liminalshadow
for MarinetteAgresteBrand
https://archiveofourown.org/works/26224177
When Chat Noir and Marinette have a bread baking date, an unfortunate flour incident forces a conversation that they wasn't quite ready to have.
Cirque Du Désir by MarinetteAgresteBrand
for CassandraFisher
https://archiveofourown.org/works/26017315
There was a fine line between Hell and Heaven, lust and love, and the ringmaster, Viperion, knew how to blur it all just so... make everything meld together until Chat Noir and Ladybug couldn’t tell where they themselves began and ended, their fate dancing on a tightrope.
I don't know what to title this. by Mavicah
for sseagully
https://archiveofourown.org/works/26192701
Friendship shenanigans? I'm bad at descriptions.
This cafe by miraculousandstrangerthingsworld
for Nomolosk
https://archiveofourown.org/collections/MLBAugust2020/works/26174752
Marinette and Adrien get engaged at the place they met and have a few flashbacks.Adrien is a singer and Marinette is a songwriter.No miraculouses
Me, My Best Friend, and Her Cat by MissNoodles
for liminalshadow
https://archiveofourown.org/works/26051047
Ladybugs aren't known for being particularly sneaky. Good thing this Ladybug has a fox in her corner, watching her back.(And giving Ladybug's love life a nudge along the way. Maybe more than a nudge. In Alya's defense, Ladybug can use all the help she could get.)
Before and After by Mommadon
for pickledtalie
https://archiveofourown.org/works/25965442/chapters/63120091
Moments of sorrow bring Marinette and Adrien closer together as they learn, grow, and heal together. A series of nonlinear Before and After snapshots, glimpsing how heartache is turned to joy and tears become laughter.
Lace and Beads and Silk Brocade by MyMayura
for PrinceKapitan
https://archiveofourown.org/works/26075419
Ms. Bustier can't seem to accept that Chloé and Marinette have no intentions of becoming friends. It seems, however, that their forced "friend date" might have some positive surprises in store, which are much needed after Marinette's terrible day.
heroes (just for one day?) by NOIRequin
for Mommadon
https://archiveofourown.org/works/26120986/chapters/63540517
After the epic failure of Heroes’ Day, Mayor Bourgeois and his counselor decided to organize another city-wide event in honor of all the citizens who fought against the evil during the previous celebration. Some people nominate Marinette as an Everyday Hero, the face of that event, but she doubts that she’s worth this title. Luckily, she gets a partner who will help her not only nail organizational issues but to embrace the title of Everyday Ladybug as well. Set immediately after s2, so episodes after that are invalid in this universe.
The Things We Do For Family by Nomolosk
for JuliaFC
https://archiveofourown.org/works/26125108/chapters/63553105
Felix is getting married. It's tradition that the eldest child in the Graham de Vanily family use the Twin Rings as their wedding rings, passed down through each successive generation, and Felix has no intention of breaking with tradition. There's only one problem. Felix only has one of the rings.
it will take time, but we'll be okay by pickledtalie
for Shattered_Heartless and Angylle
https://archiveofourown.org/works/26160067
ladybug and chat noir sit on a roof. they talk. it goes... well?
Seven Seas of Symphony by PrinceKapitan
for faelynwtythe
https://archiveofourown.org/works/25946050/chapters/63068758
Luka's relationship with his mother Anarka is rather poor. While neither one had much of a regard to the civilian norms, Anarka would more often than not take things too far. When Luka's crush Marinette comforts him after another altercation, things seem to go well between the guitarist and the designer. Unfortunately, Luka's rebellious mother pulls a life threatening stunt to spite her son's dispiriting attitude towards her reckless behavior and this leaves him, Marinette and Juleka out at sea in the midst of a storm. If they somehow get back home, their relationship is bound to strain even more.
Exposed by PurpleFlower04
for delwyndelwyndelwyn
https://archiveofourown.org/works/26067430
When Alya finds out Mari is Ladybug, she is given something very special to remind her not to spill the secret to the Ladyblog.
Tell Me All Your Secrets (let me know you) by Rikkapikasnikka
for SilverMoonSky
https://archiveofourown.org/works/26166259/chapters/63668782
Luka was tired of secrets.His hands were full of them: in the lines of his palms, in the wrinkles of his knuckles, and in the callouses of his fingers. He held onto the secrets of his partners: the synchronicity of their breathing, the beating of their hearts, the pain of their burdens. And he was exhausted.Admittedly, Luka Couffaine did not know Kagami Tsurugi that well. But he invited her over to talk, and she had showed up, and now, it was time.Adrien and Marinette have to come clean, too.
Rebound by theriveroflight
for Mavicah
https://archiveofourown.org/works/25848778
“I was in love with you. Adrien you. I was putting off thinking about it until after I told you,” she says, “but I’ve come to a decision. I refuse to be your rebound, Adrien. You just broke up with Kagami. And I know that you didn’t really love her, you told me that yourself, but every breakup needs time for the dust to settle. I don’t want to be your rebound. I don’t want to be the person you use as an outlet for your feelings. I don’t want things to move too fast.”
i promised myself (wouldn't let you complete me) by theriveroflight
for ladybuginette
https://archiveofourown.org/works/26205169
and all I do is cry and complain, 'cause second's not the same...
I can tell that we are going to be friends by sagansjagger
for theriveroflight
https://archiveofourown.org/works/25811668
While Ladybug kicks his butt during their weekly video game session, Adrien realizes he has to treasure his friendship with her and pack it away into his heart like a precious jewel. Featuring heart-to-heart conversations about identities, superhero guilt, and fame, as well as Adrien Agreste/cupcakes.
Ridiculous, Utterly Ridiculous by sagansjagger
for Lethargic_Pink
https://archiveofourown.org/works/25995058
This shouldn't hurt as much as it does, Chat thinks.But after being rejected by Ladybug (again), he's devastated. Vaulting across the city blindly, he finds himself on the balcony of the Grand Paris...And finds sympathy from an unexpected person: his oldest friend outside of the mask, Chloé Bourgeois.
It’s the Yeast I Could Do by sagansjagger
for Speckleflower
https://archiveofourown.org/works/26054116
Wandering the Parisian streets after nine pm on a Sunday, Adrien Agreste is miserable. He’d fought with his father about the stupidest thing. Fortunately, Tom Dupain is there to help him through his turbulent emotions, using the stress-relieving arts of stirring, kneading, and baking bread. It didn't hurt that Tom had a cute daughter, either.
'til we can't tell where you end and where i begin by sanj_sanj and sagansjagger
for Ladybuginette
https://archiveofourown.org/works/26206465/chapters/63778384
After Hawkmoth's defeat, Adrien is a little, lost bird without a home. Marinette Dupain-Cheng takes him in, and they live as roommates together.But not everything is okay. Adrien is a terrible roommate. They fight about everything and neither has any idea of their mutual pining for each other due to the lack of communication after the reveal and the battle.Adrien is jealous of Marinette and Luka's very close friendship. Eventually, enough is enough. Adrien decides that he'll do anything to fix his relationship with Marinette.Starting by being a friend to her again.
rewrite your history, light up your wildest dreams by sseagully
for khanofallorcs
https://archiveofourown.org/works/26103793
Marinette Dupain-Cheng is just a normal girl with a normal life. That is, until one day, when she is presented with the Mouse Miraculous to join the fight alongside the famous Cat and Bug heroes of Paris, Nekomata and Coccinche.But she is not brought in alone. She has a partner by her side. A really great partner who is very cute and funny and supportive — and who unfortunately has a giant crush on a classmate at his school. -AU where the Black Cat and Ladybug Miraculous were given to Luka and Kagami at the beginning; Marinette and Adrien are brought on to flesh out the team as the Mouse and Snake wielders.Reverse crush SnekMouse. Side pairing Lukagami. Characters slightly aged up.
give me hope for something better by sseagully
for L3245
https://archiveofourown.org/works/26228080
Chloé and Luka sit on the rooftop of Le Grand Paris hotel and have a talk that's been a long time coming.
Repercussions by Shattered_Heartless and Angylle
for sagansjagger
https://archiveofourown.org/works/26208031
Time means nothing when you have love, family and a purpose. And if you don't? What happens when minor changes occur in the Battle for the Miraculous?What repercussions will the choices made have? Will everyone be able to manage the fall out?
Wistfully In Love With You by SilverMoonSky
for NOIRequin
https://archiveofourown.org/works/26056492
Now that Marinette finally knew the way she felt about him, she couldn’t look back. She’d tried to scream at her heart to stop. She’d told herself it wouldn’t work out. But in the end, she’d fallen hard.And yet, despite the fact that she didn’t know what she could really do, Marinette knew only one thing when she’d realized she’d somehow fallen for her superhero partner: she could absolutely not tell him about her feelings for him.How could she? Their love had led to the destruction of the world; what would happen if he ever found out? What if he figured out her identity? Although Marinette didn’t want to admit he still had feelings for her, if there was even the slimmest chance. . . . She couldn’t let Chat Blanc happen ever again. If suppressing her feelings for him was the only way that would happen, then that was what she had to do.
Bitten by the Love Bug by Speckleflower
for Sanj_sanj
https://archiveofourown.org/works/26141788/chapters/63600310
Adrien gets floored by Marinette at video games, when they are totally not supposed to be working on a project.Later on, Adrien finds something out that completely changes his view of her.And when placed into a difficult situation together before Adrien has a chance to process his feelings, how will they get through it?
A Date with Destiny by tbehartoo
for A_Human42
https://archiveofourown.org/works/26209693
Nathaniel has been set up on a blind date by his dear friend Alya. Marc is Alya’s co-worker and Nathaniel’s waiter for this clandestine meeting. Alya might finally be able to put a win in her score book as a matchmaker, if only Kim would show up for the date!
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Here are my thoughts on Frozen II
(and it’s going to be terribly long, I’m sorry)
Actually I don’t think anybody reads my articles (well, I might have written 3 in the past 5/ 6 years with like 4 years of inactivity so ahem) but I really need to share what I think about this movie.
I am a Hans fan AND a Helsa shipper. Or course I was disappointed by him not being in the movie, by knowing his useless appearance or all the punch in the face from the writers to Hans and Hans’ fans (that seem both to be hated by them for some reason? Even if we are part of Frozen fandom too?). Of course, I can’t totally enjoy it because of that, because it feels that there is something “missing”, because it really feels that we, Hans’ fans, are being made fun off by wanting him being redeemed. Disappointed, but not surprised, actually.
BUT you know what? I accepted it. I can deal with it. I can find all the Hans and Helsa content I want here, so even if I am genuinely sad that Hans doesn’t appear in the movie, I thought that I might be able to like the movie like everyone else. I was not waiting for it regarding all the spoilers I read, but after reading a lot of positive comments, even from other disappointed Hans’ fans, I changed my mind.
Believe it or not, I am not a hater, I wanted to like this movie. I wanted so badly to like this movie, I swear. But I didn’t, not only the end, but from the beginning to the end. I dislike it to a point I envy people who liked it because I felt so bad during the entire movie when I wanted to like it like the first one.
Long story short, I didn’t like Frozen I neither the first time I watched it. The only thing I liked was Hans, because he was handsome and a ginger (true story). I thought him turning a villain was stupid and terribly written. But after that, I was still thinking about it. I re watched it, started to like Elsa, Anna, started to ship Hanna and finally Helsa. I even started to like Hans being the villain, because his back story with him bullying by all his brothers was really interesting. Shipping Helsa made sense and after six years I’m still in. Frozen is a beautiful movie with very likable characters in their own ways.
But I still think Frozen I is not amazingly written. It has a lot of flaws, but every movie has, so I didn’t make a big deal of it. I waited six years for Frozen II, which can probably explain why I don’t like it to that point. I spent six years discussing Frozen and realizing that the writers’ idea of it is totally different of mine is quite weird, even if its is not their fault. Disney owe Frozen, not the fans, they can do anything they want with it. I hope in the future I’ll start to like Frozen II like I did for Frozen I, seeing its quality. I am not a negative person and I don’t want to hate or roast anything.
But I can’t help but think that Frozen II has a pretty terrible writing and a lot, A LOT of flaws, plot holes and things that made me wonder if the writers even watched their own first movie. Even fans have different points of views, but really, I just don’t get what the movie was trying to say.
Still, I want to start with all the things I appreciate in it, because a lot of persons worked on this movie and sometimes did a pretty amazing job.
The songs are amazing. I want to put this one first because, as someone who don’t like Disney’s songs (even as a kid), me liking the songs is pretty rare. All the lyrics are beautiful, “Show Yourself” is now my favorite Disney song of all time and I’m going to listen to it over and over for the next six years. Unpopular opinion but I liked Kristoff's song too, being very kitschy, but I think that was the point. And Panic at the Disco’s “Into the unknown” is the best, really.
The movie is beautiful. Do I need to say anything more than that? I like the autumn theme of the all movie, with a lot of beautiful images. Frozen I was already really beautiful but, whoa, this one is amazing.
The new characters are enjoyable. Especially the lieutenant Destin Mattias (I had to google his name...). I regret they don’t have a lot of importance in this sequel because they had a lot of potential. Elsamaren shippers, you know what I mean.
Some scenes are really emotional. Elsa and Anna’s separation, Elsa being about to cry in “Show Yourself” when she sees her mother, Olaf’s die, Anna’s “The Next Right Thing” and everything about her in the end of the movie.
Anna being the amazing person she is. I am a Helsa shipper but did I ever say how much I love Anna? Anna who saves the day, as she always does, Anna being so strong and doing the right thing, Anna’s becoming queen (again I know it’s not a really popular opinion but I love Anna being queen and I would DIE to see her having powers too). She was a way more relatable character in the all movie than Elsa in my opinion, unfortunately. The only time I get a little emotional in the movie was for her, and even before, I always thought that Anna was the true heroine of all the Frozen franchise.
Elsa’s being super powerful. I have to say I didn’t like it, for a lot of reason I’ll discuss later, but I understand why a lot of persons like it. In six years, Elsa became a symbol, of what can be seen as a weakness could actually be your strength. In that sense, the fact that she is so powerful, so sure about herself, can be a fantastic message, especially for young audience, and having Elsa (or Anna) as role model seems really positive to me.
Kristoff’s positive masculinity. The line “My love is not fragile”, just that. You’re a cool guy, Kristoff, I like you. You deserve a happy marriage.
That being said, I had to continue with what I didn’t like. I have to say first that I watched this movie only once, not in my mother tongue, and I didn’t watch Frozen I since a long time go. So it might containes mistakes or things I simply forgot. I am sorry for that. Again I don’t want to roast this movie, and I am really happy if you liked it, I wish I had too, I don’t like to be that negative but I have to take this out of my mind. (I’m not going to discuss Hans’ not being in the movie, as I said I accepted it)
I’ll start with “minor problems” really subjective and finish with my biggest issues about this movie.
Olaf was never funny to me. Unpopular opinion again, I don’t appreciate Olaf, I barely think him being a bit funny in the first movie, but in this one... I didn’t even smile once, except maybe with him explaining Frozen I’s Plot, but that was an easy one. His song is the only one I totally dislike and all his “I’ll understand when I grow up” well... I didn’t get it. When he admits he is angry at Elsa is the moment that made me him like him a little more. But, yeah, no, Olaf is not my cup of tea.
It’s the first time in my life I think animated characters are bad at acting. I am sorry but some lines where... like... I don’t know. The one I have in mind is especially when Kristoff is trying to propose once again and talks about “being crazy” and Anna responds with “Do you think I’m crazy??” with crazy eyes like... she NEVER acts like that! It seems like the animators wanted so badly to show how many facial expression the were capable of that they wrote those weird lines where the character changes their expression in a couple of seconds. The same goes with all the times the characters talk to themselves so the audience can understand what’s happening (ok it’s a kid’s movie but they’re not stupid...). Sometimes it made sense but sometimes it was just like a Korean drama, really (I love Korean drama but that’s not a compliment). I think it’s more a problem of writing, but sometimes it just made me feels that I was watching bad actors, that was so weird.
All the “water has memory” stuff. I am sorry but it doesn’t make sense, even a little. I know it’s a movie and I shouldn’t care, but the boat scene just killed me. Elsa has ICE powers, not WATER (I know ice is from water but if it’s the same, why is there a water spirit while Elsa is the fifth one?), so HOW DOES THAT WORK? HOW? EXPLAIN, MOVIE, PLEASE. Elsa can take water in everything (wind, earth, boat) and can create “memory” because it’s made of ice? Is that her special ability that nobody else has? But the water spirit also have a form of an horse so you can create things with water too? I don’t get it, not at all, sorry, I just don’t. It’s just lazy writing, in my opinion. It shouldn’t be a big deal, but that fact that it is used at EVERY single moment of the movie made me cringe, especially because of the next problem I have:
The characters understand everything too fast. All the “water has memory” bullshit is an easy way to allows that. The fact that the sisters immediately recognized their young father is a thing, but just by seeing a scarf they immediately understand that their mother is from here? Ok, why not. But Anna, just by seeing a sculpture of her grandfather trying to kill someone, she immediately understands that the dam was a trap???? HOW DID YOU MANAGE TO GET THAT? It could have been BILLIONS of reasons to her grandfather to kill the chef of the tribute, like conquer their forest, stealing their stuff or whatever. How does she know that the dam was a trap when it could have been a real sign of peace but then their grandfather becoming a douche after that? Again, it’s so lazy writing. Just by the tribe explaining to her that the dam was bad for them, but Anna continue to believe her grandfather was good, before understanding by the statue he was not could have been ENOUGH. And again, HOW does she know that breaking the dam is going to solve everything? Because the tribe lives with the nature, so what’s again the tribe is against the nature, so the spirits are mad, so they blocked the forest, but still what does that have to do with the damn fifth spirit? I don’t get this movie.
Elsa’s earning spirit’s friendship by fighting them. This one really made me wondering if I was watching the same movie as everybody. The spirits seem to be positive figure, because they represent nature. They don’t want intruders, so they attacked the group... why did they suddenly started to like and help Elsa when all she does is fighting them? Because they understand that she is like them? Because she is too powerfull, they finally decide to help her? What made them change their mind? If the writers tried to do something like Moana, well... that was better done in Moana, because she failed when she tried to attack but succeed when she decides not to, because you can’t fight nature, that’s the message. Again, I don’t get what this movie is trying to do. (oh and I especially hate the scene with the water horse, just by jumping on a horse doesn’t mean it suddenly loves you being there...)
The fifth spirit. Do I need to say anything else? All the fifth spirit stuff didn’t make sense and was totally useless in a movie that could have worked without. Honeymaren saying to Elsa that she belongs to the forest was... like... you BARELY know her, how do you know that? It was like they needed to have a reason to make her stay in the forest and “be free”? When she could just have given the crown to Anna that deserves it and being free... with her family? (her REAL family she needs not her mother’s tribe...)
Elsa and Anna abandoning their kingdom for the second time in two movies. Ok you did it to save Arendelle but, still. And after that people still complain about Hans not being a good leader? Again, not a big deal, but my girls... don’t do that often please.
Elsa’s journey. That’s a big no no for me. Did the writers of this movie watched the first one? Because she just seemed like a totally different character to me. I understand she grew up, and I could have accept that she wanted to be free, that it was her journey. But, again, it was not brightly written. In like the five first minutes of the movie, we are introduced to Elsa hearing voices and... that’s it. She hears voice. If it was supposed to be symbolic or her wanting to go for an adventure instead of having a boring like in Arendelle, well, that was absolutely not necessary. Why didn’t they show her not enjoying her life? Like doing queen’s tasks she doesn’t enjoy, talking to people that continue to judge her for her powers, showing that Anna is naturally a better leader than her. It could have been very interesting that even being that powerful, she still has flaws, visible flaws. The only thing we see is her life with her family, but if the message of the movie was that the sisters have to learn how to live separately, again it wasn’t clear AT ALL. And thinking that the message of the first movie was that love from your family can save you, it’s a quite weird message for a sequel in my opinion.
At the end of the movie she is supposed to be free... free from what? By not accepting herself? While we see her being so confident about herself during the ENTIRE movie (yeah she “died” at one moment but it just made her realize that Anna is strong enough to help her to, which is totally different from accepting her own flaws). She finally found the place she belongs... again... a forest? Because her mother come from here? ??? I don’t get this movie.
And finally... my biggest problem... the HUGE issue I have with this movie. The only thing I just can’t ignore. The thing that made me cringe to HARD during the ENTIRE MOVIE.
Why is nobody discussing Elsa’s parents attitude during the first movie?
DID THE WRITERS WATCH THEIR OWN DAWN FIRST MOVIE??? DID THEY?
Don’t get me wrong, I do think Elsa’s parents loved her. I do think they thought they were doing the right things for her and their other daughter. I do think they had the best intentions. I do things parents with good intentions can f*ck up their kids so badly it will follow them forever (well, not forever in the case of Elsa, because she is perfectly fine now as if the first movie never existed... mental health, not a big issue).
BUT WHAT THEY DID TO HER WAS WRONG.
To be honest I would have LOVED if Elsa’s arc was about understand and finally forgive her parents about what they did to her. It would even have made sense with her grandfather being a douch, convincing his son that magic is dangerous. It’s normal that Elsa and Anna love their parents, I mean, just because your parents did something wrong doesn’t mean that you won’t love them anymore. But all the “Let it go” song was about not listening to her restrictive parents anymore!! They erase her from her beloved sister’s memory and caused her terrible anxious issue that was basically THE PLOT OF THE FIRST MOVIE.
Elsa’s parents f*cked up EVERYTHING and you can’t change my mind. The fact that this is NEVER, not A SINGLE TIME, discussed in the entire movie was unbearable for me. And worst, the fact that they are shown as heroes really disturbed me. Again, I would not mind if this was the consequence of an all “redemption” arc for them, by Elsa finally understand her parents, why they wanted to restrict her true self (the f*cking thing she is singing about in “Show Yourself” with her MOTHER, yeah movie, that makes totally sense), why they thought it was the right thing to do when it wasn’t. Iduna’s being the voice Elsa hears could have been her wanting her daughter’s forgiveness and encouraging her to be 100% herself after years saying her not to be. But no.
The worst for me was the boat scene. So Elsa’s parents are the true heroes of the story, for some reason, AND they died because they wanted to help Elsa ? I swear, when Elsa started to feel guilty of their death I wanted to leave the theater so bad. AGAIN, if she had discovered that after an all movie being mad at them for restraining her true self for so long, it would have made sense. It could have help her understand that they did love her too, that they did wrong but wanted to help her in the end. Elsa could have grown from the bitterness of the past, and her thinking that she is so powerful she could do everything could have been her way of emancipation from her parents, when she finally learns that she still needs her sister's help.
This is all I see with Frozen II: a lost opportunity. A lost opportunity to have a better journey for Elsa, than just... being powerful, always powerful, being saved by her sister again and becoming a god-like powerful after that. A lost opportunity to show that good parents can be wrong thinking they are doing what’s right for their children. A lost of opportunity to show a character who wants to break free, not from something not even explicitly shown in the movie, but from the regrets of the past that we can all understand (because it was IN THE FIRST DAMN MOVIE).
A lost opportunity of a good sequel. Maybe Frozen II is a good movie, I don’t know, but it’s a really weird sequel in my opinion. The story makes no sense, the characters have really strange evolution, and some message are questionable. Again, I am really happy for you if you like it, and I even envy you for that. Waiting six years for a movie you almost wanted to leave the theater at, that’s harsh. I thought I was only going to be disappointed at Hans’ missing, but with all the plot holes and the weirdness of the story, I’m not even sure it would have been better with him anyway. Maybe you did dodge a bullet here, Hans...
So... fandom team. Whenever you liked the movie or not, like me, please let’s create some cool content. That’s what fandoms are made for and made off. I don’t want to leave the Frozen fandom, because I still like a lot of things about it. I am just sad this sequel was not worth the patience for me. I hope I didn’t make any Frozen II fans feel bad because of this post. I just wanted to share my thoughts. It took me hours but I needed to.
Now all I can say is: disappointed, but not surprised.
#frozen#frozen 2#frozen 2 spoilers#helsa#helsa fandom#iduna#frozen iduna#queen iduna#agnaar#frozen agnaar#king agnaar
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Stare Blankly-Adam Sackler/Reader-Chapter 3
*This is the first part of a two part series, So We Beat On
Chapter 1 Chapter 2
You finished setting out the wine and snacks, and were pulling up your streaming services on your television. You were having your first real girls’ night since moving to the city, and it was your first time hosting your new friend, Marnie. You met Marnie and Elijah at the same, boring networking event for young women, and bonded over the wine bar. The three of you started chatting about how lame the event was, but at least there was free wine. You became fast friends and grabbed lunch. You were missing your friends from back home so when Marnie mentioned a girls’ night, you thought it was a great idea. Marnie was bringing the nail polish, and face masks, and you supplied the apartment and snacks.
You had a small one-bedroom apartment in Tudor, and you couldn’t wait to move somewhere else. Your library hardly fit in this apartment and you weren’t ready to give up any part of the collection. The books, broad in topics, helped you win a few episodes of Jeopardy, enough to pay off your law school debt, and it gave you a chance to focus on writing instead of practicing law. You had written a modern Shakespeare series, some historical fiction and another novel which was released last year, and became a best seller. You freelanced on the side to keep things interesting and to be able to afford living in New York City.
You were sitting cross-legged on your couch with a glass of wine in your hand and some kind of specialty mask on your face. Marnie was sitting next to you, posed in a similar fashion but with a cucumber mask on. You had some cheesy romantic comedy on but were too busy talking to pay attention. She recounted the breakdown of her marriage and music partnership with Desi, and talked about helping Hannah raise her baby upstate. She said she moved back to the city because upstate just felt suffocating to her. You tell her you understood, you had moved to the city because you wanted more.
“Y/N, you’re a writer, right?”
“Yes I am, are you in need of writing services? Isn’t one of your friend, Hannah, a writer too?”
“Hannah is a writer but she couldn’t help me. I need to work on song lyrics, and I’d like some help. You’re such a great writer maybe you could help me tweak some stuff.”
“Sure, no problem. I know nothing about music so that’s my disclaimer if it’s terrible.”
“I can appreciate any help I could get. It’s so hard to work on music while I have to look for a normal 9 to 5 job too. Working at the coffee shop just isn’t cutting it and it sucks to see Ray every day.” You had heard her talk about her past with Ray, and you couldn’t blame her for not wanting to see him all the time. You remembered that she had an art degree and you had some connections to galleries in the city.
“Wait, don’t you have a degree in art or curatorship? I have a friend who manages artists and is getting ready to open a new gallery featuring his artist’s work. He’s also a professor at Columbia so he always needs some help.”
“That would be great, that’s originally what I wanted to do. Do you think you could get me an interview, or send him my resume?”
“I’ll see what I can do.” You really don’t want to speak to Marc again, but if Marnie needed a job, you could suffer through a conversation. You and Marc had a unique relationship, with ups and downs, and it was currently over. You weren’t prepared for what talking to him again may entail.
The café was cute, artsy, and seemed to have a variety of drinks and foods catered to hipsters. It almost makes you laugh, but you see your crew motioning for you. You go to the table where you see Marnie, Elijah, a girl with short mousey hair, a cute baby, and another girl with dark hair. You sit down and you can feel the two girls you don’t know watching you curiously. Marnie starts the introductions.
“Y/N, these are my friends, Hannah and Shoshanna. And Hannah’s baby, Grover.”
“It’s nice to meet you guys, I’ve heard so much about you both. And this must be Grover, I’ve heard all about him too. He is adorable.” You say as you watch the baby who’s struggling with his sippy cup. You quickly find out that Hannah has recently moved back to the city, lives on Long Island, and works as an editor now. Hannah also adds that she is single and open to relationships, even potentially getting back with an ex because she thinks she needs closure. Yikes you think, getting back with an ex almost never works well. Elijah is busy entertaining baby Grover and chimes into the conversation every now and then. But you and Hannah are able to have a good discussion about writing and the struggles of being a female writer. Shosh talks about her fiancé, how perfect he is, how she wants to go back to Japan, and about how stressful planning a wedding is. You decently like Hannah and Shosh, but you didn’t know how close you’d be with them, you just had different lives. Everyone at your table then turns to look at some blonde with a British accent coming towards the table.
“Who invited her?” Elijah says icily. Shoshanna answers saying, “I mentioned this to her but she was not invited.” The blonde takes a seat at the table and she introduces herself to you.
“I’m Jessa, their other friend, the bad friend, the one who steals boyfriends.” She says and you watch to see if she’s joking but you’re alarmed when you realize that she is not. You introduce yourself to her, and you can feel that the resentment at the table is practically sizzling.
“Jessa, are you and Adam still fucking or whatever your thing was?” Hannah asks with an edgy tone. You immediately pick up that there’s some drama there, specifically between Hannah and Jessa. Your instinct appears correct because everyone else looks tense as they watch the exchange. Jessa just smiles as she answers, “No, we’re just friends now, but I still talk to him. I hope we can all be friends again now that I’m not with him anymore. Are the rest of you satisfied now?”
“That doesn’t make it any better that you stole her boyfriend.” Elijah snaps at her and rolls his eyes. Marnie and Shosh just watch her, and choose not to respond to her. Jessa turns to Hannah, and says, “Can we talk somewhere?”
“There’s not much to talk about but alright.” Hannah quickly packs up Grover’s things and rushes to leave, she’s obviously frazzled and wants to get that conversation over with. Hannah tells you that it was nice meeting you, gives you a quick hug then is gone. Jessa tells you the same thing, but doesn’t hug you, and it feels like brunch is ruined. That Jessa came in like a hurricane, then left. You must look shocked, because Marnie starts laughing nervously before she explains, “Welcome to the disaster that is our friendship. Adam is Hannah’s ex, then Jessa dated him for a while, it’s a testy subject as you can see. No one wanted Jessa here, and apparently even Adam is sick of her.”
Shosh and Elijah both shake their heads in agreement with Marnie. The remaining four of you continue chatting for an hour or so. You decide that you don’t particularly like Jessa simply because of her history, but to you she seemed decent. You’d keep her at a distance though. Shoshanna was super sweet, a bit chatty, but well-intentioned, you thought you could be friends with her. You thought Hannah was a bit self-absorbed but good company, and you had a lot in common. Marnie promised to fill you in on the friendship drama later.
“I have a job interview with Marc this week, thank you so much for sending him my info.” Marnie says as she hugs you.
“I hope it all works out, it was really no problem.”
“I have a gig this weekend, you should definitely come, I’ll be performing a new song!”
“Alright, send me the details,” you say as you’re trying to decide if you’re excited or not. You’re excited to support your friend, but will her other friends be there? You weren’t sure if you were interested in their group drama, you had enough of your own issues going on.
*************************************************************************
Adam walks into the bar, and looks around. It’s definitely not a place he’d normally venture into on his own. He was here for Marnie’s singing gig, he never particularly liked Marnie but Ray encouraged him to show up. Ray was Adam’s only friend, if he could even call him a friend. Jessa claims she’s his friend now, but she’s not. He’s the one who broke up with her, and she was desperate to stay in his life so she convinced him to be friends, but he knows she’s hoping to make it more than friends again. He looks up at the upper level of the bar, and he sees one of the most beautiful girls he’s ever seen.
She’s standing up there perched against a high table, but she’s clearly enjoying her view over the whole bar. She’s wearing a beige crop top and black skinny jeans, Adam thinks she somehow looks both confident and vulnerable. He makes up his mind that he’s going to talk to her. When he makes to the edge of her table, he asks, “May I join you?”
“Sure.” She nods and looks at him, and continues, “This is the perfect spot for people watching.”
“Definitely, do you see that guy down there in the blue shirt, he looks the typical hipster, he probably complains about being ‘friend-zoned.’”
“That girl there is probably coming off a bad break up and is looking for a rebound. She’s trying to figure out how to look fun but not too desperate.” She laughs, and then her phone buzzes and she says, “I’ve got to go meet my friends but it was nice talking to you, I’m Y/N.”
She reaches out her hand and he takes it introducing himself, “I’m Adam, I hope I see you around.”
********************************************************************************
You go meet up with Shoshanna, and Hannah. Marnie’s getting ready to go on stage, so the three of you stand off to the side of the platform and wait for her to come out. Shosh and Hannah are talking about how Marnie must be nervous before going on stage, and then you hear Shosh say that she doesn’t even know why Jessa showed up. You think that’s great, let’s bring the drama train back. Speaking of drama involving someone named Adam makes you think of the Adam you just met. You figure that you’ll see him at some point tonight, this place is only so big. You’re thinking about his perfect imperfect smile when you see him walking your way. He comes up and stands besides Hannah and they talk as you realize that he must the Adam that she and Jessa have the rift over. Hannah then turns to you, and goes to introduce you to Adam, but you stop her saying, “Oh this is the Adam? I just ran into him a couple of minutes ago.”
“Yeah, we talked for a few minutes. How do you two know each other?” Adam asks as he motions his hands towards you and Hannah, you can see the moment it clicks in his head that you must be friends or acquaintances with Hannah. Hannah answers for you telling him “She’s our new friend. We just met her the other day. Did you know that she’s a writer like me?”
“No, we didn’t have time to talk about that,” he says sheepishly. You try to diffuse the situation by asking Adam what he does, he tells you that he’s an actor. He asks you where you’re from and he responds to your answer by joking that your home might be the only place worse than Indiana. You surprisingly don’t disagree.
“What have you been working on? Every actor I’ve met is like every writer I’ve met: they have projects.” You say coolly, leaning in so he can hear your question over the music. He laughs as he answers your question, “I did a production of Hamlet, and just finished a Death of A Salesman at Minetta Lane. I have some other auditions and projects coming up.”
You recognize him from the production of Hamlet you went to a few months ago, that’s why he looked familiar. Hannah and Shosh has backed away slightly from you, as if to give you privacy to talk. Adam as steps closer to you as you inadvertently take a step towards him too. You definitely found Adam hot, and you were impressed by his work. You’d seen Hamlet and read the rave reviews for his part in Death of a Salesman. It was the first time in a long time that you felt nervous around someone. It was a good nervous, but still it was making you more self-conscious than you’d like. You tried to ignore his past with new friends because you could tell that could be a stressful nightmare, but you really wanted to get to know him better. Adam seemed to be smart, non-traditional and interesting. You thought that a compliment was a safe way to start a conversation, or it is with ninety-nine percent of the population.
You take a long sip of your drink and lean in closer to him so he can hear you, “I saw the production of Hamlet, and you were really great. One of the best performances of Hamlet I’ve ever seen.”
“Thanks, I appreciate the compliment. It means a lot, you said you’re a writer so you know about the arts. I’m a fan of your work too, your book was one of the best books I’ve read this decade. ”
“I appreciate art, but my perspective is different from yours because I’m not an actor. Isn’t that the great thing about art though: it means different things to different people, but it’s also universal?”
“I agree, it’s supposed to make people feel something, that’s why I don’t do mainstream stuff. It tends to be shallow.”
“I like modern interpretations of Shakespeare like your Hamlet. It’s timeless and universal.”
“I’ve never understood the allure of Shakespeare, he’s overrated and pretentious.” He states like it’s a known fact. You have to watch his reaction to see if he’s joking with you, but you see he’s being dead serious. And things were going so well until he dropped that bombshell opinion.
“He’s the greatest writer of all time. And what writer isn’t pretentious? Most of them are pretentious by default because through most of history a majority of the population couldn’t read or write so writers always represented the upper classes.”
“Okay I’ll admit that Shakespeare is good, he’s made a lasting impact or whatever. But he took works from others, and anytime you have to have a modern interpretation to understand the point, the writing probably isn’t as good as you thought.”
“He wasn’t pretentious in his time. When he wrote it, the people understood it. English has drastically changed in 500 years. He appeals because he used universal themes and timeless human emotions.” You can feel your anger rising, but you can’t help it. He’s was so stubborn, and resolute in his convictions.
“I still disagree. There are thousands of writers who do the same thing and don’t get the credit. But Shakespeare is untouchable because a lot of elitist academics think he is.”
“And the whole world should listen to you. Am I supposed to believe that all of the scholars who study Shakespeare and literature are wrong and you alone are the only one who is right? Who sounds pretentious now?”
“You’re sounding like an elitist. I’m curious, who’s your favorite author?”
“Okay I’ll play along, Dostoevsky or Fitzgerald.”
“That’s my point exactly.”
“Do you think Dostoevsky is pretentious too? He did not go through exile in Siberia to be insulted by some yuppie actor in modern day New York.”
“Did you seriously call me a yuppie?”
“I did.” You say as you raise your eyebrows and take an exaggerated drink from your cup. It added a dramatic flair to your comment, and you felt like you needed a drink with the way this conversation was going. Apparently your yuppie comment struck a nerve because Adam’s voice deepened when he responded, and his new tone was accusatory.
“I know what your problem is. You’re so used to being the smartest person in the room that you can’t fucking handle it when someone is just as smart as you. Because you feel that way, you assume you’re always right and you refuse to let anything go.” You can’t tell what makes you madder: his tone, or the fact he presumes to know everything about you, when he doesn’t. The nerve of him! You’re going to get him back from that comment, so you try to give him a low blow too.
“And I know what your problem is. You’re so used to playing the ‘starving’ artist, waxing poetically. Oh you poor tormented soul! You use it to excuse yourself from real responsibility and you think it makes you different, but really you’re just like everybody else.” You point your finger to emphasize your last point. You can’t tell if that was the worst conversation you’ve ever had, or one of the best conversations you’ve had in a long time. You were somehow both infuriated by him and intrigued. You were a lawyer after all, maybe that’s why you weren’t totally put off by the argument, and a part of you actually liked it.
You become suddenly aware of how close you’re standing to him, you can count all of his freckles and can practically feel his breath. Assuming that he would move back, you stood your ground, but he remained still as his honey irises bored into yours. This was too much, you thought to yourself and willed yourself away. You grab your drink off the table and turn to leave. Adam looks like he’s going to say something, but instead he keeps a smug look on his face as you watches you walk away.
You then walk off to go congratulate Marnie on her great performance, even though you have be too distracted to listen to most of it. You presumed Adam would still be around after you’ve congratulated Marnie, and you’d have a chance to finish your chat. But when you got back to where you last saw Adam, he wasn’t there. You scanned the bar for him, and he was nowhere to be seen. You guessed you wouldn’t get to finish that talk.
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False God, Kaylor's New Anthem
False God - the sexiest part of the album, Lover, (similar to the flirtatious Dress in Reputation) to me personally, has a intriguing meaning. I have searched the web to see what analyses so far regarding the lyrics. Nothing much, mostly saying that it is about Joe Alwyn. Okay, let's debunk this one. 'Cause I also know that Kaylors have an interpretation from the gay's angle.
I think, I can speak on both perspectives, since I've been in both. I once married, however my biggest love life relationship was with woman. So, I am really curious to know, in what angle did Taylor actually write this song.
***
We were crazy to think. Crazy to think that "this" could work -> okay, since almost everyone out there agree that FG about love/relationship, so "this" referring to Taylor relationship (lover).
Now, don't you think it kinda strange that Taylor having a doubt about her relationship with Joe? I mean, she was 27th when she first met Joe & with enough experiences in relationship already, not to mention Joe is also coming from almost the same background, apart from different country and Joe gained celebrity status from the cinematic industry, but still I mean, what is so crazy about starting a "heteronormative" relationship like that?
Unless... she was talking about a "different kind" of relationship - something, which in general, still being perceived as 'abnormal'...
Hmmm, interesting.
But wait, there's another way to translate it, that somehow during that moment she was having an existential crisis. She questioned a lot of thing: the meaning of being celebrity i.e. she worked so hard to pursue her dream whilst at the same time she was devastated by the facts that people whom she thought once friends, stabbed her from the back - or that strangers would start to belittle & mocking her for everything - she had trust issue, she started losing confidence, she hold grudge, she was in emotional turbulance (these loosely translation based on her interviews).
Hence: she thought to drag someone to her "crazy" world would be tenacious.
Remember how I said I'd die for you? --> seems like she was really madly in love here
We were stupid to jump --> yet they've decided to taste the water anyhow
In the ocean separating us. Remember how I'd fly to you?
--> ok, again, this does fit Joe. Cause taking it in literal sense, then it probably about her had to fly back n forth US-UK.
However, Karlie still fits the role as well, I think, since they both doing a busy life, mostly continental apart.
Whoever it was for, metaphorically speaking it is about how she was making a sacrifice for the relationship to work.
And I can't talk to you when you're like this
--> later we would comprehend that Taylor was talking about a moment when her and lover had some feud. When she restrospected how during the couple-fight, her beau would:
Staring out the window
(I imagine her beau stood still, in silence, gazed through the window) avoiding to look her in the face, thus she thought:
like I'm not your favorite town
!!! What is her beau fave town?
I'm New York City
(yeah, baby!) And whose fav city is New York? Karlie Kloss!
"Well, Joe can also regard NYC as his fave city..." True - but, Taylor wouldn't be writing something that has no common reference to it. I've googled Joe's city preference and came out with null results. While as for Karlie Kloss, almost everywhere - you can find her boasting around about how much she loves NYC. As a matter of fact - she was the one who convinced Taylor to move to NYC in 2014 (and Taylor has been in love to the city, since).
Furthermore the next lyrics kinda congruent to the above speculation:
I still do it for you, babe
--> "I moved to NYC still staying here to date because of you." See, it still a close referrence to Karlie.
Can you come out with different translation that lead to Joe, instead? If you do, please let me know in the comment.
They all warned us about times like this. They say the road gets hard and you get lost
--> this one is really interesting. We all know Joe and Taylor still together and that Taylor somehow bragging about how happy in relationship she is now. But here as if like her saying that 'something happened to the couple' in FG story. Something big and terrible - something that might cause them to split/break apart.
And she kinda blame, the reason why it happened cause:
When you're led by blind faith. Blind faith
--> what is the meaning of "blind faith" in term of falling in love? Yes, when you are so in love that you are willing to do anything to retain or to be in it. You disregard everything, cause you are so drunk inside the pool of love, lust, altogether. You become 'blind'.
Ok, let's speak in het point a view, first - do you think, you see a magical spark when seeing Joe with Taylor out and about? Hard to tell? Okay, fair enough.
But here, an excerpt from Rolling Stone interview:
Her paused after accentuated the word "if"... to me is her showing hesitation even doubt to the idea of having a family.
Kinda weird coming from her current public image in Lover Era where she continue asserting how happy she is and how seems like, she has found the love of her life.
Further in FG she asserted that she is madly in love with someone whom she willing to die for - to fly across ocean for - so much intoxicated by love as if like having a blind faith!
Unless... the love of her life which she depicted in FG is...
in which because of that, for her to think of the ideas of: 'to be together, be a family'; would be a crazy notion and hard to imagine.
***
Yet, she also made it clear in FG, despite the odd, she was not ready to release the idea of 'stick together for good', because she thought there is still possibility that:
(But) we might just get away with it
***
The following lyrics to me, kinda raw and blatant:
Religion's in your lips. Even if it's a false god. We'd still worship.
(We might just get away with it)
The altar is my hips.
Lips & hips -> you imagine anything? (Lol).
Why False God? Clearly, she still talking about love:
Even if it's a false god. We'd still worship this love.
So in another word, Taylor using False God as a metaphor for passionate love she was experiencing with someone.
But why False God?
My take using gay perspective: is because we know how most religions condemn homosexuality. So with probably her involved in the same sex relationship, which would be considered sin or false by many, this probably her way of saying: "I don't care. I have all the rights to love whomever I want to love, regardless what society in heterenormative world would think!"
Next:
I know heaven's a thing. I go there when you touch me, honey. Hell is when I fight with you. But we can patch it up good. Make confessions and we're begging for forgiveness. Got the wine for you.
In general sense, the narrative here is about normal things happen in relationship. It's about having differences inside romance - a fight, a quarrel- then "kiss and make up".
But again, it is interesting how she chose the religious term like 'hell' and 'heaven' to equate her romantic endeavours.
This can't stop me from thinking that she actually is talking about sacred-secret love which against religious belief.
(Again, her way in saying: "I don't care your heaven or hell! I have my own, in this love-life story of mine!").
I would also like to re-iterate: "Got the wine for you" - seemingly her 'make up' sentence for her beau. But it is interesting to think about her chosen word "wine" there. It could mean literally that they both do love wine or...
"intimate love" - ok very much correlated. Yet further from the same source (wiki), wine (alcohol in general) often perceived as "evil".
So in which way, Taylor denoted "wine"? If its in devilish way, yes, then it is another mockery from her to religious dogma as if like saying: "I don't mind being perceived as evil. Me and lover will continue doing what we are doing!"
And you can't talk to me when I'm like this. Daring you to leave me just so I can try and scare you.
Hehe, so woman, don't you think? ;)
You're the West Village. You still do it for me, babe.
A shout out to Kaylors on this. Cause west village in literal meaning is a place where Karlie once lived.
Is there any other meaning for West Village? Yes, a big maybe. But unfortunately, I couldn't find any. Perhaps, you can dig on that and tell me later?
Finally, when come back to:
They all warned us about times like this. They say the road gets hard and you get lost
--> if we persevere with Karlie's scenario - then one could imagine this depiction is perfectly suitable to the Kaylors conspiracy theory.
How we speculated that their relationship in trouble - they chose to beard for their career sake - beside continue "behind the scene" with their LOVE that worthy eternal worshipping.
Sounds too delusional?
Perhaps. But since it is still a blank space, one owns a prerogative to write things accordingly. And False God is a love letter from Taylor Swift to Karlie Kloss? I'd say ameen to that!
xxx
Update: Joe Alwyn Fave City (thank you @dodsdmr for this info)
#kaylors#kaylor#debunking kaylor#joe alwyn#karlie kloss#album lover#lover era#taylor swift#false god#taylor lyrics#false god meaning#false god lyrics analysis#taylor swift's song analysis#swifties
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