Aight I feel like I should go ahead and officially say this! I probably won't be drawing much of sun and moon anymore! I'll still reblog art and fics of them but I will no longer be a creator! Just a consumer!

Astro Observations part.9🐝

🐝One of my favorite placements is Aquarius Mars. I dont have it myself but Ive seen people with this being very humanitarian and they hate injustice. They really do make a change.

🐝Alot of people talk about the intelligence and manipulative nature of scorpio moons but cancer moons are also very intelligent and manipulative. Cancer moons are more comfortable with their own sensitivity while scorpio moons do everything to be less sensitive, so the water qualities works better for cancer moons.

🐝Virgos are really into dietary supplements, they probably take like 10 pills in the morning

🐝People with Apollo in the 1st house makes people look up to them, something about them makes people see them as good even if they are shitty people. If theyre in a fight people usually take their side without knowing why

🐝People with chiron in the 1st house are usually drawn to each other. Its common to see a friendgroup where everyone in the group has this placements, they can also be very toxic together since they usually have a lot of pain from their childhood and this can make them take it out on others together.

🐝Neptune 1st house have a look you cant copy with makeup. Ive seen a lot of people try and they will get confused like ”why can’t i get that look? I wear the exact same makeup as her?!”

Its because the neptunian beauty is impossible to copy because a lot of it is in their aura. Neptune 1st house people have special eyes and its not something you can fake with makeup its the way their eyes are shaped, the glossyness, shine, eyelashes and the innocence behind.

The innocence and cuteness they have cant be copied.

The same goes for lilith asc, venus/pluto aspects and scorpio rising and scorpio mars when it comes to their sexiness. No matter how sexy you dress or how ”dark” you do your makeup their raw sex appeal comes naturally for them, they just have IT. Their animal magnetism and sex appeal just cant be faked. They could dress ugly as hell but they will still have that magnetism and appeal to them.

🐝Sun Square Ascendant can really make you come across as different than who you are, my dad is a Aries rising with Cancer sun and people see him as this tough guy but hes very soft and sensitive.

🐝Mercury/Neptune hard aspects can be very delusional and naive. They can also blame someone else for their own problems or blame the wrong people in their lifes. They see what they want to see.

🐝Chiron 1st house peoples insecurities are shown on the outside. This not only make people be mean to them it can also make people use it in some way. Example: My friend has chiron 1st house and she thinks that shes really ugly, guys notice this and gives her a lot of compliments,some even mess with her and give her fake compliments in a sarcastic way, a lot of guys also trashtalks other women to her bc they can see that shes competetive.

🐝Mars in 10th house can be seen as one of the best in what they do, they can be the kinda people who you dont even compare to others because their place is already secured. Example: Mozart, Beyonce and two of the most famous models Claudia Schiffer and Christy Turlington has this.

The same goes for pluto 10th house. The famous painter Picasso has this, he will always be known as one of the best.

🐝Neptune 3rd house can have amazing imagination, the famous writer Stephen King had this. If afflicted can be someone who lies a lot tho.

🐝Venus 10th house synastry can make the couple care too much about how the relationship looks to others. The relationship might lack intimacy and be too much about image(depends on other aspects and house overlays too ofc.)

🐝Sun Square Mars people are super competetive. They can be obsessed with winning over others and have secret competition with their friends and even people they see online. They might be uncomfortable hanging out with people who have more than them.

🐝Capricorn might dress in a very elegant yet comfortable way, they dont want to look ”too much” but they dont want to look sloppy either.

🐝Moon Square Mars men might dislike confident women

🐝Most people I know who owns a pitbull or bulldog has pluto 1st house, I think they like how it adds a dangerousness to their image

hiiii omg you've finally started a game ive been waiting since so long!!!!

what i like about your blog: i lovvvvve the vibe your blog radiates. esp your username! it has moon in it and acc to me that makes it so beautiful and calming. your research on vedic astrology is commendable, yours is the first account i followed while searching for vedic astro on Tumblr. love the information you share, can't wait for more to come! 💛

im in for the rahu mania: my ascendant nakshatra is pushya (im a cancer ascendant)

thank you, hope you're having a lovely day! 💖💖

Hi doll

I adore your username cuz butterflies to me are the highest expression if carefree happiness. A flutter of hope and they always make me feel really giddy and lighthearted inside 💜🦋

Also my sun is conjunct your ascendant 🎶💙

Let's talk about Rahu and what you're gonna feel hypeefocussed or drawn towards for these 18 months or so.

Rahu is presently in Taurus, your 11th house. The world at large is concerned with feeling, living, acting, breathing, singing, and possibly even spending lavishly.

For you specifically, it's gonna be all about

Networks. Friends. Joy. Happiness. Income. Gains and confidence.

How can I communicate with the most people and make myself useful to the world?

Since the 11th house is 2nd from the 10th you could really crave being recognised for your contributions. Could be a good time for receiving awards and appreciation you'd certainly crave it. How is your venus placed?

You're also gonna have Ketu or the south node wisdom in your 5th house. If you're into art, you'd probably find that people seek you out to help boost their creativity and they feel rejuvenated in your presence. You yourslef may not feel as inclined to practice a craft as people could be to learn from you. You're not about play. You're all about the praise you get cuz you're so good at play?

Me? I've got Rahu transiting my 9th, and the urge to just pack up and leave has never been stronger 💙

As for you, you may wanna go on cultural exchanges or make friends from diverse backgrounds. And socialise. A time of meeting a bunch of people, bonding and seeing how you can leverage those connections. As a saturn ruled sun person I'm all about connecting the dots to what's the best I can get out of a friendship, acquaintance, relationship. If thats something you identify with as a Pushya rising then I'd suggest keeping a level head when you network. Don't overspend to look cool. And there's no need to get in with the wrong crowd. Kinda just wanna say fuck it and learn from your mistakes but that's not always the best advice if you're 16 and planning to meet someone who uses psychedelics or whatever. Stay safe. Stay sane. Your 5th house Ketu transit could mean that psootiins of authority and leadership come to you naturally.

You have more power than you think. Wield it. Exercise it when needed. If needed. Strike that balance between abusing power and letting people act tlike they can walk all over you cuz you're such a diehard friend.

Rahu is maya. Glitz and glam. A thirst to go viral and it wants to expand unmitigated. So at this time you could be drawn to people who try to over inflate your ego to further their agenda.

The friend who pays for everything energy.

Does everyone dining at your table have your best interests at heart?

How far would they go to protect your name or speak up for you in a room full of opportunities?

So in such a situation if a friend tried to give you practical advice you'd probably want to tell them to go fly a kite. Don't alienate your wellwishers. People you've been friends with since childhood. You could learn iscernment on friendship, loyalty and finding your own community during this transit 💙

Since Rahu ruled Nakshatra Ardra falls in your 12th house this could be a time if vivid dreams, maybe the dialogue in thr dream would standout. Increased need for bedroom bliss? A wish to try out intoxication?

Meditation and trying out out there spiritual practice? Making friends (11th house) overseas (12th house) and it doesn't need to be overseas just people interested in psychology and the subconscious programming of human minds, what makes people tick and why do we exist and is pleasure even real? The gif reminds me of a spiritual social's rose petal readings you may find a message in one of her videos?

Alrighty this was fun 💙 I hope you enjoy this just as much as I liked doing the analysis 💚😊 reblog, leave me feedback or hmu with your theories and experiences related to this transit

♡ sweet sope ♡

love notes for my mutuals hi everyone, this past week has been full of extra love and wanted to share my appreciation, not just for this joyful community, but for the people who brighten up each day with their presence! 

@blueandtaes - hi my sib, i love you. being in this fandom together is a godsend. through the weeping, the cackling, the impulse purchases, the city adventures and home dance parties, i’m so blessed to be doing it all with you. ​

@zmalik - sabrina shonaaaa you’re one of the first people i followed on this website (i legit think you were the second person after my sister), i dont know why you followed when you did since i was a chaotic mess back then but i am so so thankful that you did! i remember our early convos and i still fantasize about deshi food hangouts in the city, whether that’s yours or mine. you’re the kind of person who in many ways I aspire to be, because you say what’s on your mind without the fluff. I’ve been meaning to ask you why you hate ji changwook btw but I’ve been scared! one day let’s talk about it over chaa nastha? Love you, and sending all my affection to you and ur new kitten!! @yoonglet - hello angel aahana! I feel as though no matter how I try to word how I feel about you, it will always fall short. You are one of the most generous, strong-willed, friendly people I know. Your aura is bright and I am so honored to witness you, even if it’s through this limited window of armytumblr. thank you for believing in me, when I didn’t believe in myself! Your support means everything <3 @artsyjoons - anj! i distinctly remember an early convo we had where we were talking about namjoon doing an srk pose lmfao thank you for understanding what i was rambling about in the tags and initiating a convo with me! every morning i wake up and i see you enriching my feed with your thoughts, your humor, and your captivating energy! please share with me the secret to being so sweet and cool??  @rosebowl - my sweetheart Sharika, when I think about you honestly… I feel anxious and giddy! Because I wonder what luck I must have accidentally stumbled upon to find a desi army friend right here in New York, and that too someone who shares so many of my own values and interests!!?? Sounds like a dream, hope I never wake up! My adoration for you grows every day, please know that I am rooting for you and support you, just how you show up endlessly for all of us! Can’t wait for our future adventures xoxoxo @taefiore - hi my darling raabia! (I hope you’re resting and not stressing when you read this, but if you are stressed I hope this makes you smile) I feel like I have to thank run-on for bringing us together?? I have enjoyed every single one of our conversations and interactions, you’re easily one of the most clever and sweet people on this site! thank you for listening to my dreams, for all your kind/witty commentary on things I post, and for being an all-around incredible person! i know how hard you work and I hope your future is just as bright as you are, love you! @bibillyhillsbaby - lovely helena, are your legs tired? Cus you’re running through my mind oooooh! we’ve said this to each other many times, how fun it is to chat about shows, about our love for these men,™ and more! but have I told you about the times you’ve generated warmth and peace for my soul? your compassion has not gone unnoticed dear friend <3 you’ve made so many of us laugh and smile, lended kind words when we’ve needed them the most. I hope that when you see flowers and trees, you think of all our love blossoming for you!  @kithtaehyung - oh ryen! when you created the ‘still with you’ gfx you officially stole my heart! but then you went and kept it for good when you made the ‘magic shop’ gfx during a challenging time in my life. your empathy and your cheerfulness was a clearing for my foggy mind! you’re a stellar person and i get such a burst of joy when i see you on my feed. if i could handwrite notes for you everyday, i would! <3 @pinkjjoon - sara i can’t remember our first conversation, but i could’ve swore it had something to do with the term “namjaan” lmao! though we’re timezones apart, i am glad the internet brought us together cus i really need more desi army visibility! i appreciate your candidness, your humor, as well as your kind words during hard times. i hope bts gets their act together and holds a concert where you are cus you more than deserve it!  @hazeltae - allison, ive been trying to put to words why i feel so drawn to you and why you always make my day and i think it’s bc you’re a capricorn sun/pisces moon!!! no wonder you have this way of making people feel steady, held while also relating to them on an emotional level! i love talking to you about rj, about yoongi, about totally normal shopping habits <3 thank you for all that you are and for being such a sweetheart!  @gimbapchefs - hello nat!! even though we’re newer mutuals, there’s such a refreshing ease in our conversations that i truly appreciate! i find myself resonating with your thoughts and reactions, and cackling at things you reflect in the tags! i also admire your dedication to your studies, even when you get a little distracted ;) we need more people like you in the field, i’m so excited to see where your journey takes you!  @intronnevermind - hi raf! it’s such a pleasure to be connected here! we haven’t spoken much but your posts and content leave me with a great sense of joy/admiration! i am so impressed by your style and am looking forward to anything you create in the future. thank you for sharing sweet remarks about my amateur content and for being such a lovely part of this community! @ourownwings - wings :) i am so in awe of the creations you provide for the community and all the tender labor that goes into relaying the BU stories here! i can only imagine the time it takes to do that, but you’ve done above and beyond - and i’m so proud of your milestone! i was delighted to chat with your about your life outside tumblr, and wish you all the best in your future endeavors! thank you for being such a sweet, supportive presence in my orbit!  @jintae - padya, it’s likely you’ll see this if/when you return from your hiatus but you should know that i appreciate our exchanges and how excited i was to connect with another nyc bengali army! i hope you are taking care and finding enjoyment during your days <3 i think about your written piece about the impact bts has had on you as well as the publication you created for the community, and am so proud to know that you’ve spearheaded these meaningful spaces for others. i hope our bond can grow over time, universe-willing, and that you get every happiness you absolutely deserve!

to my lovely mutuals who amaze me every time with their creations & their talent, and have given me much laughter/much comfort, i am grateful for you. i have much warmth in my heart for you all and appreciate the conversations we’ve had about life, about bangtan, and anything in between. thank you for being here: @duckjinnie @ayosuuga @yoongisshadow @userjiminie @jinbestboy @mykrokosmos @marvelousbangtan @jimindelune @floraljimin @flowerseokjin @dinamitae @zhujieqiong @thegoddessly @kooseokss @dalbichigom @jinjagi @joonsrack 

Some tweets from my twitter!

i just compiled some of my tweets that have to do with Pollo, Hya, etc.!

u can see why i sometimes draw things the way i do! each ‘-’ is like a new subject!

have fun reading 🌞

-i just got a big brain idea: hyacinthus had a fear of heights bc of the times zephyrus scoops him to the sky and harasses him but he was able to over come it by climbing the mountains with apollo

apollo discovers the ptsd when he tried to take hya for a ride on his cloud.. pollo took off fast trying to show off hya but hya was hugging him real tight, face completely stuffed in pollo's back.. pollo thought it was cute until he noticed the shaking

hya looks up, his eyes watery and pollo's like oh shit.. pollo immediately goes does and hya takes off(he doesnt feel comfortable telling yet bc zeph and pollo r gods) then blah blah stuff happens pollo and hya get back together

they do all the hunting, music, games stuff together, climbing the mountains every few times until one day they both finally climbed to the top, enjoy scenery, AND BOOM first kiss and after that hya goes to hyperborea with pollo, gets his own swan, etc.

-guys.. i was doing more reading and remember how i talked about hya's fear of heights.. theres a description of a painting with pollo extending his hand for hya to join him on the chariot drawn by swansand hya's also holding a spear (a hint of hya's spear skills perhaps?

-just realized how sparta got people so pretty gods fight bc of them (helen and hya..

-What if the reason apollo didnt marry hya is bc he learned that in spartan marriage, the brides shaved their head

-thinking about how hya having dumb and pure thoughts just makes apollo fall in love with him more bc he can read minds HDYDKHFDHDHJD

-notice how none of the hya and apollo stories dont mention that they did boxing together.. 

hya: we should try boxing together! 

apollo: oh im a pro! I've been boxing since i was a few days old! im basically the god of boxing! lemme practice a little before we start! 

 apollo: *gets up and starts doing light hoping and throws 1 punch infront of a tree* [pause] [theres a gush of wind and tree slowly cracks and breaks in half, crashing down] 

hya: nevermind! 😃

-hya wanted to do EVERYTHING with apollo, so i imagine hya gets some scratches and marks on his body everytime he adventures with apollo

- i believe apollo sucked most of the nutrients in the womb, hence making artemis short

i think he sucked all of her intimate desires too LMAO

-ive come to the conclusion that apollo has a big smile on his face everytime hes about to kill/really pissed bc if u look at the apollo of veii, hes actually trying to get the golden stag back from Hercules n he has a scary smile(ok it maybe the way they made statues but WHATEVR)

and in the Phorbas boxing match, before he delivered the deadly blow, it said he had a smile mingled in wrath lol so: the sun can't kill you if its not shining bright

-It makes sense to have apollo be the tallest god in Olympus bc he represents the sun and its the biggest thing of the solar system!!..... and artemis being the smallest... bcs shes earths little moon......

- Asking apollo and artemis what their body count is, they'll both be high numbers but very different meanings

- Remember when i talked about apollo smiling when hes angry.. yknow what other animals smile/shine theyre teeth when angry.. wolves/dogs

- Applying for hyperborean citizenship so i can become part of the biggest apollo fanclub

- shoutout to the cult of apollo who learned about hyacinthus the spring deity and then immediately decided to make him apollo's boyfriend

- hya at times butting heads with hermes bc he has a stronger sense of justice than apollo

- even tho hes ageless, i like to think apollo changes himself to look older/bigger bc of the countless times people thinks he's his kids' sibling or bf and plus makes him more fatherly

- i wanna ask some Phoenicians who they think was the lucky guy that knocked up apollo

-SPEAKING OF STRINGS. when the apollo ebook( Apollo by fritz graf ) said apollo uses strings to either bring joy(lyre) or death(bow) my pea brain was BLOWN

-Normal people after reading tsoa: wow p*trochilles otp 

Me after tsoa: apollo.... hot..

Worst part is miller doesnt even like apollo  so she wasnt even trying to make him appealing😭

- Went thur many iliads to see Homer really did call apollo the best of the gods AND HES NOT FUCKING WRONG !!!!! I liked the one calling him matchless bc i dont think he's ever been defeated?? (Except emotionally lol

hi love im deep in ur art blog for reasons and im SO in love with the fact that ur ghoul has his OWN nickname tattooed on him in party's writing they are SO 🥺 was wondering if you wanted to talk a bit more abt ghouls tattoos??? theyre just SO gorgeous and intricately laid out

HI i LOVE u i am KISSING u i would love love love to talk about ghoul’s tattoos 🥺❤️

^ yeah ghoul & party have each other’s handwriting tattooed!! for party it’s one of the only tattoos they have & it’s right over their heart (im sure ive mentioned this fact before but idk if ive explicitly noted that it says ‘sunshine’) and ghoul didn’t have the space to put his right over his heart because poison’s kj symbol is there so his is on his upper arm (they ARE soooooooo 🥺 i love them)

ghoul’s tattoos are a healthy mix of sentimental ink and things he just thought were beautiful. when he met the rest of the four he didn’t have THAT many tattoos because 1. he was 14 2. he’d only been in the zones for a little under a year and a half at that point but the ones he DID have (aka his oldest tattoos) were his knuckle tattoos (‘freed’ and ‘fuck’ what can i say he was 13), the big raven on his upper shoulder and neck (he started believing in the witch very early compared to other cityborns but yeah that tattoo was both a way of symbolizing his devotion to the witch and a way of marking himself as a killjoy/shedding his past in the city in the way that he considered clearest), the fangs on his hand, two bats on his leg, the zombie bite on the other side of his neck (i could get a little more into this but BASICALLY ghoul being an ex-crow trainee + a cityborn + being the only surviving member of his first crew had a problem with feeling inhuman and a lot of survivor’s guilt and so he really. idk he connected a lot with zombies & frankenstein’s monster and ghosts & the like when he was a runner for dr. d post-his crew’s deaths. he got better about Seeing Himself as a Person especially once kobra + the other two showed up but the fascination remained) (also not tattoo-related but that’s when he chose his name. before that he’d been called ‘sandpup’ by his old crew & he never had a chance to tell them before they passed but he really loved that they used that as a name for him especially with how much he didn’t want to associate himself with the city) (ghoul had A Lot of issues but the difference there is that he worked thru them a lot earlier than the rest of the four) and “I FORGIVE U” on the back of his neck (in remembrance of said former crew).

umm along with that kind of fascination with the undead/feeling that kind of connection are the frankenstein stitches on his wrists (tho thats more of a common hc) and he has this pretty big tattoo of abstracted bones following his vertebrae down his throat and chest that he’s gotten expanded/fixed/touched up over the years. ik i do a lot of b&w doodles but i feel like i’ve been kind of inconsistent about coloring (most of his tattoos are color). pretty sure ive mostly drawn them in green (???) but in my head they’re like a faded light blue using natural skin tone as highlights.

his more sentimental tattoos…let me see if i can outline them here. this might not be exhaustive but i will do my best to list what ive figured out at least thus far:

the two little bats on his right thigh are for his grandmother and little sister. his sister (juliet adele fujikawa, b. april 2009 d. december 2014) was killed in a car crash shortly before he left the city, and likewise, his grandmother (charlotte fujikawa [藤川 千尋] b. june 1936 d. december 2014) was “moved to retirement housing” at about the same time. that was pretty much the last straw & ghoul left battery city within the week

there’s his crewmates’ symbols on his chest (in order from his right to left: kobra, jet, party) (gotten when their crew had been together for a while. dating this one is based on a couple things: 1. ghoul had been with them for long enough that he felt secure 2. poison and ghoul were friends by this point, or else he wouldn’t have included their symbol and 3. poison’s is over his heart so you can read into that as you will)

text from the graffiti bible on his right calf, as protection for his crew & as a reminder of one of his former friends who was a droid that believed very strongly in destroya’s return

his raygun on his chest (he was pretty proud of the design! this was when he was ~15 or 16) that he had poison’s added to post-sing post-engagement pre-commitment ceremony (so. september 2023) (yes i have my handwritten timeline + my own drawings + my fics out in front of me rn cross-referencing sldkdksksbx!)

one of the girl’s childhood drawings (one she drew of him & her & the stuffed animal he made for her when she was a baby all having a tea party together) from when she’s about 5 or so on his right hip (december 2022 or so)

shooting stars on his upper right shoulder, partially because they’re pretty and blend well with his other tattoos and partially because they’re a reminder of a lot of things, including but not limited to his first night out in the zones seeing the stars for the first time, stories his grandma used to tell him, and right when he’d first joined the fab four and him & kobra sat on the roof during a meteor shower

besides the other one i already mentioned ^ he has more of poison’s handwriting on his left inner forearm — this is also one ive mentioned before but once they’ve been in a relationship for a while they get into the habit of leaving little love notes around for each other! there’s nothing particularly special specifically about the one he got tattooed, besides the fact that it reminded him of poison and they love each other. the text in full (which i don’t think ive ever put anywhere, though im pretty sure ive put fragments of it in fics and art) is as follows:

Good Morning baby <3! I needed new paints, went on a run. Kobra has the Girl @ the Crash Track, Jet’s at the station. call me when you wake up! I love you, be back soon. XO Party <3

he also has the anniversaries of when they started dating and their commitment ceremony (03•03•21 and 10•26•23 respectively) on the inside of his right wrist ^ !

he’s got a snake wrapping around his left leg that kobra picked out and a hand of cards with the ace of spades face up that jet picked out (and these ofc are because they remind him of his crewmates!!)

he has the phoenix witch tattooed on his ribs, left side, styled vaguely after catholic saints (since that imagery can still be found in the inner zones & especially where ‘joys who still practice that religion gather!)

there’s a version of the eye from the mailbox on his right shoulder, and this one is also a sort of symbol of protection/good luck, to show devotion to the witch and to help protect himself and his crew

the constellation libra on his left forearm! this one was done a little while after he started running transmissions and supplies for dr. d! he liked the connection that astrology — whether he believed in the practice or not is up for debate — gave people to the stars, and the feeling that he had a place in the universe, predestined or not

after charlie is born, he gets a portrait of her (~age 4) with her name and birthday underneath done on his left thigh! (~2036)

and on his lower back, he has a fairly simple tattoo of two crows on a wire with their beaks pressed together (aughhhhhh romance) that he gets done as an anniversary surprise for their 10-year (so. 2033)!

his non-sentimental tattoos are largely based off of images from books, either from dr. d’s collection when he was working as a runner for him or from cherri’s after he joined up with the fab four, or else they’re naturally occurring in the zones!! this includes but is not limited to: california golden poppies on the back of his left shoulder, strawberries around his left bicep (he doesn’t ever have a strawberry until he’s like 35, this one is absolutely based off of a particularly pretty illustration), a thundercloud with lightning on his left elbow, a moon on his right inner bicep, a ring of thorns around his right forearm right under the elbow, a dagger on his inner left calf, and a sun, small bat, cross, rose, ribbon (with the word ‘faith’ in script), and wing on his right forearm and hand, all picked from flash sheets

so yeah! that’s about everything i have to say about ghoul’s tattoos atm but ty ty ty sm for letting me ramble abt them i think about his tattoos so much 😔❤️

About your atla ship songs, I have a couple of questions (sorry if my phrasing comes out wrong, english isn't my first language and I worry it might across as accidentally defensive): how did you end up with the choices for zukka, jetko and yuekka (note: I haven't seen the great comet, so feel free to obsess over it, I'm intrigued now and the hype is appreciated!)? Sidenote: I think the mailee choice is HILARIOUS and the tokka one just make me sad, I didn't expect to be attacked like this😭

kdjfha;s i love you im gonna obsess SO HARD over great comet now. you may regret this

this is gonna be so long so the rest is under the cut whoops

yuekka: no one else from great comet

where do i even begin. WHERE DO I EVEN BEGIN

okay so background information on this show: it's based off of a 76 oages excerpt from war and peace and its centered around a woman named natasha (and this guy pierre but he's irrelevant to this song so we wont worry about him) and natasha's bethrothed is off fighting in the war right now. she hasn't seen him in a while but she is in love with him.

every single lyrics of this song SCREAMS yuekka to me. the innocence and purity of their love. the love at first sight. and even the melancholy ending just- i go apeshit for this song. i love this song so much. and denee benton's voice??? kljsdhflwksugf please listen to this song if you haven't already. listen to the whole show. your life will be changed forever.

onto the lyrics (i stg this is ab to be the whole song whoops)

"the moon"

THOSE ARE THE FIRST WORDS ON THE SONG. natasha and andre (her bethrothed) met underneath the moonlight. Sokka and Yue first spoke to eachother at night and always met each other for their most intimate moments under the moonlight. also yue is LITERALLY the moon so like: right of the bat with those two words it's yuekka.

"and i saw your eyes / and i saw your smile / and the world opened wide"

sokka fell in love with yue the moment he saw her in the canal. she literally enchanted this motherfucker. everything about her made his heart go crazy. and 'the world opened wide' to me is from yue's perspective. Yue had never left the north pole and sokka had seen a good chuck of the world at the point. He took her on appa, he told her about his adventures. he saw the world yue wished to see and you know damn well that Sokka would have done anything to give it to her.

"oh the moon /oh the snow in the moonlight / and your childlike eyes and your distant smile / ill never be this happy again / you and i and no one else"

natasha sings fondly about the moon and the snow, seeing as it was where she fell in love with andre. yue and sokka LITERALLY fell in love in the same place: in the snowy nothern water tribe under the light of the moon. childlike eyes: THEYRE CHILDREN!!! distant smile: this is where it gets a little sad. theyre both children with way too many duties during a world that has known nothing but war for the past century. they want to be happy but yeah, theyre smiles are distant and far away because happiness seems out of reach for them most of the time. i'll never be this happy again: the moments yue and sokka shared together were probably the happiest either of them ever were. they were able to ignore the war and the world in the moments they shared together. and with no one else. no one else would be able to give each other this sense of peace and happiness and love.

"joy and life inside our souls / and no body knows just you and me / it's our secret"

Yue and Sokka had to sneak out in secret at night to go and see each other. Yue and Sokka couldn't be together for real because Yue was already engaged, but they were literally in love so she decided to see him anyways in secret. kasdjfhklasjd im losing my mind over them at this point.

"this winer sky / how can anyone sleep / there was never such a night before / i feel like putting my arms around my knees / and squeezing tight as possible / and flying away"

these are my FAVORITE lines in the entire song. yue and sokka had never felt this strongly about anyone before and that's why they are so drawn to each other. they had never experienced love before and they wanted to hold onto it for as long as they could even though they knew they couldnt. Sokka takes yue up on appa and she is wistful and wishes she could live like he does every day: ie flying away. oh my god these two deserved so much better. so much fucking better.

now for the saddes part. the saddest fucking part.

"maybe he'll come today / maybe he came already / and he's sitting in the drawing room / and i simply forgot"

natasha misses andre so intensely at this point. when i first listened to this show and heard this song i was like "wait a min... is andre like... dead?" and im sure i wasnt the only person who assumed that this was why natasha felt so sad by the end of such a beautiful song. (spoiler alert andre is fine)

but this line really exemplifies how sad natasha is, and hints at the fact that andre may never come back. it implies that their relationship is doomed (at least in my opinion) and that's all yuekka. Sokka misses yue intensely when shes gone. Yue accepted her fate almost immediately but sokka was in denial. he thought there had to be another way. but in the end it wasn't meant to be. and sokka will go on, loving yue, wishing for her back, even though it's not possible.

fuck im gonna cry.

zukka: all i've ever known- hadestown

"i was alone so long / i didn't even know that i was lonely / out in the cold so long / i didnt even know that i was cold"

sokka is from the swt so theres where the cold comes in. also in the gaang (initially) it was just him katara and aang. and katara and aang were much closer to each other than sokka was with aang and the two of them were benders so sokka was kind of an outsider with the two of them. He also represses a lot of his emotions and feels the need to do everything himself so i do see a lot of loneliness in sokka. and the fact that so many people in his life have left him (his mom, yue, his dad, suki briefly, etc...) he is known to keep people at an arms length. i see a lot of loneliness in sokka.

zuko's loneliness is a lot more obvious: he has literally been cast out and abandoned by everyone except iroh. and even then he still feels the need to be alone (remember zuko alone? thought so) these boys look after themselves and push others away and revel in their loneliness in order to keep themselves from getting hurt. at least in my opinion on canon and also some fanon because id be a liar if i said fanon didnt influence how i view ALL my ships (not just zukka)

"all ive ever known is how to hold my own / but now I wanna hold you too"

COME ONE MANNNN, they just wanna hold each other. theyre both very big protectors as well and kljhflkasdhg they wanna protect eachother like kljdhfl im gonna lose it rn.

"You take me in your arms / And suddenly there's sunlight all around me / Everything bright and warm / And shining like it never did before / And for a moment I forget / Just how dark and cold it gets"

SUNLIGHT SYMBOLISM. zuko is literally powered by the sun. i don't think i even NEED to elaborate on this one anymore lol. They find comfort in each other away from all of their trauma. when they're together nothing else matters and i personally love that for them. they both deserve love.

"I knew you before we met / And I don't even know you yet / All I know is your someone I have always known"

these two are extremely similar in canon. many parallels. older brothers overshadowed by their prodigy little sisters. longing to make their fathers proud (granted one dad is good and one is fuckin evil), both are pretty bad with emotions. both are seen protecting others before themselves (sokka protecting suki during the serpant's pass, sokka protecting toph on like multiple occassions, zuko protecting katara in the final agni kai), the list goes on. they know who the other is because they see themselves in the other person. they already know each other because they are each other (in a way, not entirely, but the similarities are strong in my opinion)

"I'm gonna hold you forever / The wind will never change on us / Long as we stay with each other / Then it will always be like this"

i just think this line is so cute and sweet (ignoring all the symbolism and foreshadowing that comes with the last line in the musical itself. im gonna pretend this is nothing but happy) and i think these boys deserve happiness so yeah. this song is zukka to me lol.

jetko: thrill of first love- falsettoes

if you've never listened to this song go an do it now. you will know INSTANTLY that it is jetko because of the dynamics alone. marvin and whizzer are pure jetko and i take no crticisms.

marvin and whizzer are both extremely stubborn, and they don't always get along, and they fight a lot, and they get mad at each other a lot, and they are both passionate as hell, and they will bring this passion into everything. they love each other that is without a doubt, but they arent perfect and they are once again stubborn and determined as fuck.

sound familiar? it's literally jetko.

the lyrics aren't what remind me of jetko, but the dynamic itself. the lyrics are too on the nose for a gay couple in 1970's america so that rlly cant apply to jetko all that much. but the way these two characters bounce off of each other and get annoyed with each other and argue with eachother reminds me of jetko. because let's be honest: these two are the most stubborn characters in the whole show. they will fight for what they believe and it will take literally everything to change their minds.

i love jetko but i think they would have petty arguments all the time and get aggravated by one another so easily. and this is even seen in canon: they work so fucking well together but they did not even HESITATE to fight one another after neither of them would give in and let the fight about whether jet was right or wrong about zuko being a firebender. like i cannot say it enough they are stubborn as fuck.

but underneath all that stubborn pettiness and bickering: marvin and whizzer still love each other. and jet and zuko would still love each other. because even though they are stubborn when it comes to arguments, they are even more stubborn and determined when it comes to each other. these two passionate motherfuckers are in love.

(now when i chose this song i decided to ignore the fact that this song literally spells out the fact that marvin and whizzer's relatinoship is doomed because they literally say passion dies. thats the difference between jetko and whizzer and marvin because i dont think passion dies. i chose this song strictly for the bickering lmao)

and i know you didnt ask about tokka but,,,,

i rlly wanna talk about the tokka one

so im going to

tokka: on my own- les mis

look. i KNOW this song is about unrequited love and i love tokka as a couple but,,, the unrequited love in this song just SCREAMS unrequited tokka to me so thats what i went with.

eponine is a girl who has neglectful parents who lives life by her own rules: toph. eponine is shown to be tough and confident and spunky to others but behind all of that she has emotions, she feels love, she hides her vulnerability so much: toph. she is in love with a guy she cant be with because he loves someone else: TOPH

eponine is toph to a t and toph is eponine to a t. this is not up for debate lmao

"without him i feel his arms around me"

toph is always seen grabbing onto someone (and its almost ALWAYS sokka) when she's somewhere where she can't use her feet to see. FEEL and ARMS cmon. look at it.

"and i know / i know that he is blind"

COME ON. IMAGINE TOPH SINGING THIS LINE. this line is already powerful enough in les mis but having toph, a blind character, sing it just makes the symbolism even deeper. toph sees the potential relationship they could have together. toph sees that sokka is oblivious to this. toph is not blind to the truth or the potention, but sokka is blind to her feelings. im about to lose my mind over this line.

"I love him / But every day I'm learning / All my life / I've only been pretending / Without me / His world will go on turning / A world that's full of happiness / That I have never known"

i need to sit down for a moment. toph grew up in a household where her parents did not understand her. she has learned to hide her true emotions and vulnerabilities from everyone. and its the fact that toph knows that she and sokka will never be together and the fact that she still loves him in spite of that is what makes this even more heartbreaking.

"but only on my own"

TOPH AND EPONINE SWEETIES I LOVE YOU

thank you for indulging my theatre kid nonsense. you are very sweet and kind and lovely and awesome and i hope you have a lovely day bestie :) <3

ask me why i think these songs go with these ships

The Last Night Part V

Author’s Notes: Hey all you cool cats and kittens (she did it), here is Part V of my Jordelia (and friends) fanfiction based off of the lovely characters from Cassandra Clare’s novel Chain of Gold. The song sung in the dream sequence is a Persian Children’s song called You Are The Sky's Great Moon. I’m not sure of the author, unfortunately, but it was not me. I just thought it fit so perfectly for how Cordelia feels about her friends and how they feel about her. I am terribly sorry about the wait on this one, but it’s quite possibly my favorite piece yet. I hope you enjoy it as much as I enjoyed writing it. As always, if this did tickle your fancy, please hit the <3, reblog, or pop in with a comment. Comments grow my heart and fill me with motivation. Stay safe. Stay healthy. Stay sane. We’re almost out of the woods.

P.S- This one might require some reading of the previous parts. So, here they are in order if you want to catch up:

Here is Part I

Here is Part II

Here is Part III

Here is Part IV

                                                           .Part V.

Cordelia stood in the center of the ballroom of the London institute. It was larger than she remembered it: empty now of the elaborately dressed guests, the waiting staff, the noise of the quartet, and tables of food. The curtains were all drawn away from the arched cathedral windows illuminated the space in the warm light of the auspicious London sun burning away the last hours it had in the sky. The distant London skyline was bathed in blue with not a cloud to be seen for miles. No smoke billowed into the sky from factories or chimneys; no boats crowded the harbors as if she were looking at a picture of London. It felt so warm to be in the light, she wanted nothing more than to bath it in and never leave. 

A light pressure wrapped around her elbow. She turned around to and found herself facing her mother, with her dark hair loose in curls to her waist, standing in front of her.

“Mâmân?” Relief filled her as she wrapped her arms around Sona’s waist and buried her face in her shoulder.

“Layla.” Her mother’s hand slid down the back of Cordelia’s head, fingers sliding through the tendrils. “Do you remember that song we used to sing together when you were a child?"

Sona grabbed Cordelia’s hand; the other pressed against her shoulder blade and suddenly they were dancing across the room. An odd thing, to be dancing with one’s mother, but Cordelia didn’t mind. A smile spread across her face as she matched her mother’s footwork as they spun around the room. 

“It’s been such a long time since we sang it,” said Sona. “I cannot seem to remember how it begins.”

Sona released Cordelia in a spin, the delicate soutache embroidered golden mesh of her dress billowed out around her ankles, and when she turned back around Lucie was standing in her mother’s place. Her tawny hair was twisted back in an intricate braid and her eyes, the same intense blue as the Tenerife sea, glistened as she grabbed Cordelia’s hand. Cordelia had never realized how lacking in height Lucie was— but then Lucie had never invited her to dance. 

“If you are the sky’s great moon.” Lucie’s clear voice filled the empty ballroom as she began reciting the childhood lullaby as they floated in a semi-circle around the room. “I’ll become a star and go around you.”

Lucie paused and stepped away from Cordelia, their hands outstretched, but still clasped together like when they were children swinging around in a circle until they both collapsed from dizziness.

Lucie let go and looked over Cordelia’s shoulder. She turned around just as Matthew strolled across the room in a pinstripe suit and picked her up under the arms and lifted her off of the floor. “If you become a star and go around me, I’ll become a cloud and cover your face.” 

Just as he set her back on her feet, a hand clasped her own and spun her around. “Thomas?”

He turned and shuffled down the room with her beside him. “If you become a cloud and cover my face.”

“I’ll become the rain and will rain down.” She turned to her right to find Christopher.

They raised her arms and both bent at the waist in a bow before disappearing like the rest. Anna came from behind her and walked in a small perimeter around her. Cordelia’s eyes trailed her every step. “If you become the rain and rain down.” 

Alastair walked in the opposite direction of Anna. “I’ll become grass and spring.” The crossed each other and disappeared to opposite sides of the room, leaving Cordelia in the center, right underneath the three tiered crystal chandelier.

A hand slide around her waist. She felt the feather light tickle of fingers sliding down the bare skin of her arm until fingers slide into the spaces between her own. A body pressed firmly against hers from behind. The hand tightened around her middle and she felt someone’s breath on the exposed skin of her neck. “Daisy, my Daisy.”

There was only one boy who called her that.

She spun around to face him. She was so close to him she could see the faint random freckles across his nose and cheekbones. His hair was disorderly, as it always was: a piece fell across his brows, and his warm gold eyes moved across her face as if she were a painting, studying each individual line and stroke and shape that made up the whole picture. 

“James.”

A sharp pain lanced through her ribcage, stealing her breath, as she fell limp against him. It was only then that she noticed a great shadow had stretched across the ballroom stealing away the warmth and the light.

James head bent until his forehead pressed against her own. “When you become grass and spring, I’ll become a flower and sit next to you.”

The shadow inched closer to them until they were a pinpoint in the center of the room. Her hands clung to the fabric of his shirt until her knuckles became white as she drew herself up so their noses were aligned. They recited the last line together. “When you become a flower and sit next to me, I’ll become a nightingale and sing for you.”

A feeling like the floor dropping out from her feet pulled Cordelia away as she was ripped from James once more. 

***

It was dark, that much Cordelia could tell, and it was cold. So cold the tips of her fingers ached. She was flat on her stomach, laying on something hard- stone possibly— that chilled her to her core. A dull, but intensifying pain, ached on the right side of her ribcage with every breath that she took. It was also the only part of her that felt enflamed with heat. Her lungs felt too full, the air scratched against the back of her throat as though she’d inhaled a mouth full of soot. She tried to cough, but nearly cried out from the pain in her ribcage. 

Moving didn’t seem like a viable option, but neither did lying still. She tried to walk carefully through her memories to figure out where she might be. The last thing she remembered was James. He held her so tight; he was so warm and then everything was so cold again. She had said goodbye to James. Then Alastair— she’d been in a carriage with Alastair. The memory of him lying, bleeding in the street made her cringe. She had to find him—to get her stele and get to him.

Her arms shook as she pushed herself to her feet; her teeth clenched so tightly they might crack from the pressure. The pain was agonizing, spotting her vision with white dots; it was only then that she noticed the ground beneath her hands turned to fine powder and disappeared in a gust of wind.

She had been here before, that much she was sure of. The smell of acidic rot and decaying flesh was difficult to forget. Everything around her was orange and hazy like being surrounded by a blazing fire, but without the heat. 

“Welcome back,” said a clear, deep voice that rang through her like the bass of thunder. 

Cordelia stilled, bent awkwardly on her hands and knees. She looked up in the direction the voice had come from. 

He was dressed much the same as the last time she’d seen him, in an all white tailored suit complete with black buttons that glistened like eyes- perhaps they were eyes. His pale gray hair swept across his face; in much the same way as James’, but she would not allow herself to think about that. 

“Didn’t I stab you?” asked Cordelia. 

Belial moved towards her, the tails of his coat flapping in the desert-like wind. “I faintly remember something about that, yes.”

“If at once one doesn’t succeed, one must try again.” Cordelia reached for Cortana with the arm on her uninjured side, but found that her hand closed around empty air where the hilt should be. 

Belial smiled mockingly.

“Where is Cortana?”

“Where it fell,” said Belial. “You see I don’t often make mistakes, but on the rare occasion that I do, I am sure not to make the same one again.”

Cordelia’s head dropped and she looked at her hands. The knuckles on her right hand were bleeding; the pinky on her left hand was angry, swollen, and bend out of place at the joint. Dried blood encased her arms from her elbows to her wrists. There was pain everywhere, enough to swallow anyone whole, but still she tucked her legs underneath herself and sat up with her hands resting on her thighs, as if she were presenting him with an offering. 

The last time she’d been in the shadow realm, she had been with James. They had held each other, defended one another, and barely managed to escape with their lives. Self-preservation hadn’t been a thought in her mind, as if James and herself were one entity, there was none without the other. Now, alone, self-preservation rang through her blood- Shadowhunter blood- every sense awakened and alert; desperate for a fight or an escape.

“What is it that you want from me?” asked Cordelia, the words shook on her lips.

Belial chucked, it echoed around them. “Nothing from you.”

“James.” Cordelia caught her breath and gripped her ribcage. When she looked down at her hand again it was covered in blood. There was a hole in her dress, just underneath her breast, the whole front of her was covered in a dark stain. “He won’t come. He thinks I’m in Idris with my—Alastair. What have you done with Alastair?”

“Consider him a calling card,” he said. “He was wounded quite gravely, but left with enough breath to relay a message as soon as your friends find him. It’s been extremely difficult to capture the attention of either of my grandchildren especially while I… healed, but after some careful observations, I believe I have exactly what will capture their attention.”

Cordelia’s hands clenched around the fabric of her dress, still damp from the rain. “He won’t come.”

“You don’t think so?” Belial raised an eyebrow. “Perhaps you’re right, but no matter, he is not the one that I require.”

Cordelia looked up again. Belial’s face hadn’t changed. It remained expressionless with the stoic passivity of a graveyard statue. “Who— who else would you—“ The thought dawned on her like a punch to the stomach. “Lucie.”

“Very good. I was afraid you were only bronze and no brain,” said Belial. He waved a hand in the air, and for a moment, Cordelia caught the faint outline of an automobile speeding down a London street. The two passengers in the front seemed to be squabbling with one another, a much larger figure sat in-between them with his neck bent awkwardly so his head wouldn’t burst through the top of the cab. Three more figures sat side-by-side in the back, one of them was Lucie. The picture focused on her face, gazing out the window, her body present but her mind lost in thought. “My granddaughter. It’s true, I overlooked her at first, believing James to be the true vessel because of his connection with the shadow realm, but that is until it came to my attention that my granddaughter holds the power to summon the dead. While I did prefer a male form, James is merely an adolescent traveler, jumping from realm to realm as if on holiday.”

The burning intensified in Cordelia’s chest. She could feel sweat drip down her spine despite the chill. 

“Lucie?” Cordelia nearly laughed. Sweet, unassuming Lucie— with ink stains on her fingers and her mind constantly in the pages of her stories— with the ability to summon the dead. “You must be mistaken. If Lucie had the ability to summon the dead, I’m sure that I would know about it. I am her— best friend.”

“Didn’t you just abandon her to go home to Idris?” His lips curled. 

Cordelia shook her head. “No, I—“ She caught her breath and nearly bent over from the pain. “No, I wanted to spare her the humiliation of being seen with me after I—“ She raised herself up again. “I don’t need to explain myself to you.”

“No, I’d much prefer it if you didn’t actually,” said Belial, examining his shoes as if they held more interest to him than the entirety of the conversation. 

“If what you’re saying is true,” said Cordelia, a shudder went through her whole body as the pieces started to come together in her mind. Her mouth became impossibly dry. “Then Lucie would—“

“Be able to summon an army of the undead,” said Belial, as if it were a completely normal thing to do like walking. “A truly wonderful thing about dead people is that you can’t kill them… again. They’ll be unstoppable in destroying your realm: killing, pillaging, destroying, so that I can come and claim it as my own.”

Cordelia let out a deep breath. “Just once I would like for a villain to come up with a less egregious plan than world domination. However, considering who you are— thief of realms and all— this is rather right on character.”

Belial spread his arms out to his sides and bowed at the waist.

“Lucie won’t do it,” said Cordelia, oddly calm. It was one thing she was absolutely sure of. 

“Do you not think so?” Belial squatted down in front of her, still feet away as though she were a wild animal that might attack him at any moment. He was smart— she would. “I didn’t think so either. Not willingly, not unless I had something of great importance to her.” His eyes narrowed. “I tried to capture James but he had more wards around him due to my last attempt. I thought my dear daughter, Tessa, but Tessa seems like the explosive type. Unreasonable, like she might throw herself onto a blade before being used. Then there was her father, William, well I’ll just admit I feared I’d be decapitated before Lucie had a chance to join us.” He cleared his throat. “Her other friends, while they hold great importance to her and would have done the trick, there was the little dilemma of you and that blade. It seemed you were the most logical choice.

“You did make it quite difficult for me,” said Belial. “Always following James around like a loyal dog. I had to think of some way to separate the two of you. That’s where the Blackthorn girl came into play.”

“Grace,” said Cordelia. “Are you controlling, Grace?”

“Not directly,” purred Belial, “but I am not without my connections. You see, I promised the Blackthorn’s to raise their beloved Jesse if they served me. After that, they were like clay in my hands.

“When I found out the Blackthorn girl already had James under a binding spell, it all became rather easy.” Belial laughed. “He went to her like a drunk goes to ale.”

Cordelia swayed slightly and fell to her hip, her arm outstretched to catch her. Tears burned her eyes with rage. How could she know nothing of Lucie’s power; nothing of Grace’s spell on James. It seemed perhaps Belial was right about one thing. Perhaps she didn’t know her dear friends at all.

Belial’s eyes danced and flickered over her, taking in her expression, her resolve, her bleeding waist. 

“Don’t die yet Miss Carstairs.” Belial turned his back to her and crossed his arms. His eyes took to the darkened sky as if waiting for something to fall from it. “There is still a need for you.”

A Personal Rant before Sword and Shield comes out

I’ve sat idly by for months, tried to weather a few negative responses but given that it’s now 6 days from release and I’m hearing that devs are getting literal death threats I’m going to put my foot down

If you’re already shitting on a game that hasn’t been released yet, you are all juvenile bitches, and I’m about to tell you why.

Before we begin, I’m not saying that you’re not allowed to dislike a game, that happens, but usually it happens after you play a game, not before.

You are viewing this game through a keyhole and judging the room and what you’re seeing is not worthy of this much hate. Let’s start with the big one Dexit: Not as Big as You Think Having No National Dex is of course not ideal, but it doesn’t ruin the game. Let’s Go has no National Dex, all it had was Alola forms and nobody whinged about it. Ruby and Sapphire didn’t have a National Dex until FRLG, and nobody whinged about it. Sun and Moon and Ultra Sun and Moon do not have a National Dex And Nobody Whinged About It Do you know why? Because it’s not actually a big deal. People who complain about it are bandwagoning because ‘Dexit’ is a meme, its name literally parodies an event in current Britain that many people don’t actually want to happen.  Now currently, the anger of Dexit is that Bulbasaur and Squirtle are not in it, which frankly is hilarious because the last wave of bitching was ‘Kanto mons are getting all the new stuff’. You wanna know how many main series versions Bulbasaur and Squirtle have not been in? Seven, only way to get them is trade and event. The other complaint is that there’s ‘only 400′ Pokémon. Remember those days where people were fine with 150? 400 is huge, in fact it’s 3 less than USUM and it’s not accounting for the Gigantamax forms Don’t let headlines fool you either, Sun and Moon had 302 Pokémon, it’s far from the ‘lowest dex number since 2003′. Do your own research with these things. Kalos’ regional dex was 151, BW2 was 300, BW 153, Sinnoh 210, RSE has 386 and GSC had 252 Don’t get me wrong, it smarts that some Pokémon isn’t there, but it’s not a dealbreaker, like let’s be honest here. For a good year and a half all your pokémon are gonna do is sit in an unused cartridge or a PC box, you’re literally whining about the fact that you can’t move your perfect IV Pokémon from one box to another. You could simply just let them stay in Let’s Go or USUM, you don’t have to use Bank or Home on continued subscription for that, so your complaints are only set on the foundation that you feel like you have to continually pay to not transfer your Pokémon, Finally, people act like these Pokémon are deleted forever, they’re not, this is for spacing to make sure this game doesn’t break down from the sheer mass of models and textures it has to maintain in a massive open world space, the local and online camping and battles. Just use the Pokémon that are there! There’s new Pokémon don’t you wanna try those? You can also look at FRLG or Emerald and consider that maybe more Pokémon will get patched in once the game proves to be stable. I don’t think you’ve noticed, but the Nintendo Switch isn’t as powerful as the other consoles out there, sometimes it runs like shit. Believe me on that one, Switch is still in a very buggy development phase. Let’s Go was kept small to test it’s capability and Sword and Shield can’t just fly in and give you all 1000 Pokémon just so one of the ones you want can be in there

You have to be much less obtuse with this, I mean this was a long time coming. You’re gonna have to live with the fact that not every Pokémon ever can be supported on one game alone. Disk, Download, Cartridge and Patch Sizes have limits in Compliance, you can’t just throw everything at it. Waah, the New Pokémon Don’t Look Good They do, you’re being petty. It happens every version, the people dislike the starter evolutions or just one in particular. Remember all the Oshawott hate? This all comes and goes because people have simply gone on the first instinct that ‘new and different is scary and should be shunned’ You’re that Simpsons meme when young Homer accuses Grandpa of not being ‘with it’ I won’t spoil to those who haven’t seen it, but I like the new starters, and some of the new Pokémon will need some growing but not every Pokémon looks good at first glance. If Mr Mime, Hypno or Gastly came out nowadays they’d be crapped on so much for lacking creativity or for looking weird. Look at Drampa as well, thing looks like Falkar from The Neverending Story, when I first saw it I thought it look weird but now I like it. You should offer these things time And actually fall back on past experience, you’re reacting like this isn’t the same thing that happens every version; the dex gets leaked, people whine about the evolutions, people get over it and accept that they overreacted. hIgH QuAlItY aNiMaTiOnS I’ve seen that video, 2 clips and you judge a whole game how classy of you? If you don’t see improvement you’re blind. You can’t shit on a game for keeping the battle animations, you can’t expect every Pokémon to move their own unique way to the exact position of the body part the opponent needs to get hit by, that’s just unrealistic. You’re also failing to equate to the new moves and all the new movesets. You have to ensure that each Pokémon is capable of calling this animation as well. The second clip in that video was Hop and Hau having the same rigging, and once again, that’s not abnormal. Rigging is not easy either, do it wrong and it sticks and deforms texture. There’s nothing wrong with Hop having one animation that matches Hau’s, you’ll probably find that many models actually have similar rigging as previous games. Because it’s not that big of a deal and it saves money, as an example look at Disney they copied hand-drawn motion and stuck a different character on them, Robin Hood’s Little John dances just like (animated, for those too young to know otherwise) Jungle Book’s Baloo The thing you’re also ignoring from that clip is the graphical improvement of Hop compared to Hau, Hau looks like a balloon with a smiley face but Hop’s face has depth and his mouth actually moves like a normal person, his clothes have far more contrast and complexity, but no just zero in on one fighting animation and one rigging that’ll surely be worth abusing a game that’s not even out... B-But Charizard I’ve already explained this before but Charizard is Leon’s main, it’s obviously going to have a Gigantamax, ergo it’s also going to be in the Dex. Does Charizard get a lot? Yes, but the reason is because Charizard is popular. One of the rarest cards is a Charizard Hologram Card, Charizard is one of the first version mascots, it is one of the most recognized Pokémon Ash has in the anime Reality of the matter is that like Pikachu, Charizard is a recognized Pokémon for all ages, it appeals to a demographic that’s not playing In Layman’s Terms: that part is not for you A reality you really need to face. Pokémon is a game for all ages, so elements of the game are not always going to be tailored to your age range. The gimmick of Dynamax and Gigantamax is for merch sales and young children because it’s got an audience there, you can’t expect the Biggest Entertainment Brand in the World to simply shut out a large fraction of its demographic just to appeal 100% to you And again, it’s not a big deal, so there’s a Charizard there, just save a Stone Edge and be done with it, if you hate Charizard so much this’ll be catharsis, but in actuality you’re complaining because it’s something to complain about Kanto are getting Everything That went down like a lead balloon didn’t it? Reminder that the first Gigantamax forms were Galar Pokémon, so you can’t really say that anymore. There are Galar forms from non-Gen I Pokémon too I assure you, but the reason Kanto gets a lot of them is because Kanto is the oldest. Let’s not pretend that other gens don’t get love either Or should I remind you of Mega Ampharos, Scizor, Heracross, Houndoom, Tyranitar, Blaziken, Gardevoir, Gallade, Mawile, Aggron, Medicham, Manectric, Banette, Absol, Garchomp, Lucario, Abomasnow, Steelix, Sceptile, Marshtomp, Sableye, Sharpedo, Camerupt, Altaria, Glalie, Salamence, Metagross, Latias, Latios, Rayquaza, Lopunny, Audino and Diancie? It’s true that the Johto starters could use something, but I don’t think they’re being purposefully ignored, perhaps the right design hasn’t come along. Rather it be done right than poorly wouldn’t you agree? The Devs Should’ve Done <Insert Thing Here> People who say this kinda stuff have no idea how a game is made. I have a First Class Bachelor’s degree in Computer Gaming and Animation Technology and I can tell you that none of the stuff you want them to do is easy. Even getting grass right is a complete hassle. You want small insights you should watch Corridor Crew react to Good and Bad VFX, they tell you about the mechanics of CGI a few times on those vids. This is what annoys me with the prior swipe at the Battle animations and rigging, even with 2 years this is a heavily massive workload and Game Freak have only recently expanded the team that work on Pokémon which makes communication much more widespread and difficult to manage, likewise they are working on other games too they are not just Pokémon, currently their next IP is why Toby Fox was able to do a bit of music for Pokémon, because he’s collaborating with them on another game. The work doesn’t stop, most of these people are overworked and still doing overtime, they bring out a good product and all it gets is ‘but it should have this’, and unless it’s a huge part of the game that’s needed to function then that’s really disrespectful Before you start critiquing on what the people making this game ‘should’ve done’ perhaps you should try to make a game yourself, because it is not easy even for pros, I call back to Toby Fox because creating Undertale took 32 Months to create, that’s 2 years and 8 months for those slow with math, it also took 3 years before it could be ported to Switch because the Engine couldn’t support the platform, Pokémon has less time to do that, greater graphical and animation quality to achieve and more characters to battle, attacks to animate and more songs to compose. Conclusion: You’re All Just Bitter I’ve already seen it happen recently but this group of people senselessly bashing something because of ridiculous demands, expectations or arguments based on a lack of understanding all combine into something I’m simply calling the ‘Bitterness Fandom’. It’s people hating for the sake of hating and trying to bring something down just because it’s been a popular force for so long, and it’s not just Pokémon that’s getting it It’s already been happening to Star Wars. The Last Jedi and Solo were great films but the Bitterness sank its fangs in and act like neither are as good as the original trilogy (like killing Snoke without knowing anything about him and Phasma before she could do anything is any different to killing Sidious and Boba Fett in Jedi or Maul in Phantom Menace and Grievous in Revenge of the Sith), a lack of awareness to reality and the desire to complain for the sake of complaining continues to infect Star Wars. We even have a thing called ‘Star Wars Fatigue’ Star Wars can’t release a film every year because of ‘Fatigue’ but Marvel can release 5 MCU films a year and nobody bats an eye. Those frustrations aside, I refuse to let the Bitterness sink in without me calling them out, because you are not Pokémon Fans. If you were you’d know that having no National Dex isn’t new, you’d know that the graphics have improved and leaks of the game happen every time, you’d know why Charizard is popular and that some features are not intended to be targeted at you Shock and Horror to the heavens above but games can’t do everything And if you’re that naive to think so then you’re clearly not doing your homework So let’s throw out an absolutely WILD suggestion shall we? Let’s decide our opinion on a game After playing it? Because shitting on something you don’t even have hands-on experience with it is a fragile pedestal to put yourself on. If we all think it’s bad then, so be it, but I sincerely doubt that is the case When my copy of Pokémon Sword gets delivered to my house I am going to enjoy it because I will not let petty and incorrect statements sway my feelings and I swear to Arceus if you think the Bitterness will bring down Pokémon that easily then you did not see the queue to the London Poké Center that had been amassing since midnight and was forced to stop taking more people when the doors opened What should matter is how you enjoy the game, play it before you judge it And honestly, don’t send death threats, why we need to tell you that is beyond me, the ones who made these games are people who have worked their asses off day in and day out to provide something you aren’t even going to play because one Pokémon isn’t in it, the irony is not lost on me when I say this but deep into the very bottom of my heart: Grow Up. If you don’t like the game, don’t play it, don’t bother people about it, we don’t need your shit here Enjoy the Game People

"I gave you my life, Eliott," Lucas's voice shatters, splinters.

Eliott replies softly, broken, hollow, "And I gave you mine."

"No," Lucas says, low and dark. "No, you didn't."

.

.

aka: eliott and lucas grow up together, but are separated when eliott is institutionalized in paris after a severe depressive episode. they reunite two years later when eliott is released, but everything has already changed before their eyes.

epigraph. i. ii. iii. iv. v.

05—eliott, alone

tw:  references to suicide attempts and suicidal ideation

july 22nd, 1968

05:34

caen, france

~

Eliott hasn't slept a wink; his whole body is heavy but his eyelids aren't. He hasn't felt well since his panic attack the other day, and it's only gotten worse as the anniversary of his attempt has drawn nearer. He swears his mood crashed as soon as the clock struck midnight. He swears that the night grew darker, that the shadows in his room grew larger, that the moon began to hide her face, that the whisperings in his mind grew colder, more menacing. His blood has run cold ever since. His body has curled in on itself, his sight has been ever so slightly out of focus, his teeth have dug into his lip, his skin has been riddled with goosebumps. He's silently cried out to the wind whispering outside, the crickets singing, the waves sighing, but they haven't responded to him. He screams, wails, but they're drowned out by the music of the night that has rarely been sweet to his ear.

So he's left to suffer in silence as that night plays over and over again. He watches himself reorganize his bookshelf over and over, every possible arrangement never making him feel better, whole. He watches himself write so furiously in his notebook he's puncturing and tearing the pages, hoping that writing down his thoughts will make them go away. He watches himself pace around his room, tearing out his hair, biting off his nails, chewing on the collar of his shirt to keep himself from crying out and disturbing his mother. He watches himself melt into a puddle, crying so hard he can barely breathe. He watches realization fill his eyes as he thinks about how could easily he could end all his pain. He watches himself dry his eyes, take a deep breath, then write two letters: one for his mother, one for Lucas. He watches himself leave the letters on his mother's nightstand, on Lucas's windowsill. He watches himself walk forward on the shore, the waves lapping at his ankles, then his knees, then his chest, then his mouth. He hears, so distantly and yet so clearly, Lucas call his name. 

He squeezes his eyes shut, covers his ears, but it does nothing. He can't escape it. 

Tears slip out of the corners of his eyes, but no sobs rip out of his sore throat. It's a quiet, defeated crying; tired, resigned. It doesn't shake his shoulders, or make his heart and lungs quiver. He's frozen, and the only thing he can really feel is the tears on his face. He can feel the salt carve out little trails on his face, chip away at his cheekbones, hollow out his cheeks, burn in the cuts in his lips from his teeth, fill his nostrils until he almost can't remember what fresh air smells like. Perhaps he's become the sea—salty, eroding, despondent, crashing. Perhaps he's flooding his room, rising until he destroys the house and finds its way to the water outside. Perhaps he's returning to that fatal idea he had two years ago—becoming one with the water, becoming at least one drop in the ocean. 

He takes the deepest breath he can. He's not going to do something like that again. Not when it only caused more pain than he could've ever anticipated. He can stay in his room, stay in his bed, and try and calm his tears before they flood. Then he'll be okay. He'll be okay.

He presses the heels of his hands against his eyes, hoping it will somehow force the tears back behind his eyes, back into the lump in his throat. He keeps breathing, keeps forcing. Keeps breathing, keeps forcing. He'll be okay. 

He pulls his hands away, and his already fuzzy vision is covered in bruises. Purple and green sunspots, wide and growing and smarting. They begin to fade after a few minutes of waiting and trying to blink it away. Their edges start melting into the real world, and they're tinged with yellow. Then they disappear. He'll be okay.

He sighs, trying to focus on the feeling of his lungs filling and emptying, watching his own chest rise and fall. He holds his breath to feel that burn, that panic deep in his lungs and the dizzy alarm in his mind. He experiments with lengths of inhales and exhales, listening to the sound of the air escaping. He tries to tell himself that he's not a waste of air, and that he's grateful for every gulp he gets, no matter how big or small. He's not sure if it works. But breathing is a good distraction. It's slow. And he can control it. And it helps his mind and heart slow down. It makes his eyelids a little heavy, then heavier and heavier. He'll be okay. He has to be.

He finally, finally drifts into a deep, but dreamless sleep. 

july 22nd, 1968

10:30

caen, france

~

Eliott wakes to the gentlest shaking from his mother. His eyes open slowly, and his vision is clear again. He sees his mother kneeling by his bed, her tired yet kind face smiling at him feebly.

"I'm sorry to wake you up, honey," she says, her voice quiet and sweet. "But I wanted to check up on you. Are you okay?"

"No," he answers quietly. "But I think I'll be okay if I just stay in here. I'm safe here."

She sighs, brushing the hair out of his eyes. Her hand is shaking. "Okay. Just let me know if you need anything. Call me from up here or come downstairs if you find me. I'll be there."

He manages a weak smile. "Thank you, Maman."

"I love you," she tells him, her thumb wiping away a tear he didn't know escaped his eye. "I love you more than I can comprehend."

Eliott wants to tell her that he loves her, too, but the words can't get around the lump in his throat.

"I wish I could take all this away from you," she adds, her voice suddenly thick with tears. "If I could drag the sun and moon across the sky so today could be over in the blink of an eye, I would. You know that, right?"

"I know," he chokes out, his tears beginning to pour faster.

"Do you want me to stay in here with you?" she asks. "So you don't have to be alone today?"

The brain is alone. I'll be alone regardless. Even when your fingertips brush my forehead, I can't quite feel it. It's like some other body is feeling it for me.

He sighs, shaking his head. "I'll be okay. I have my books. I have all my art supplies. I just need to wear through the day. I just need to wait it out."

"And you can start healing again," she says with a wobbly smile.

"I still haven't felt any of that healing yet, Maman," Eliott admits, his voice even quieter and weaker. "Maybe I've felt it for a second, but I swear every time I get close to it, something else happens and I don't feel it anymore." He chokes on the last few words, drowned out by a sob. "And... I don't think I healed at the institution. Not like I needed to."

He sees tears rolling down his mother's cheeks, and it only makes him cry harder. He's broken her heart again. His poor, sweet, lonely maman...

"I'm sorry, Maman," he sobs, throwing his arms around her and pulling her close. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry."

"Don't apologize, honey," she whispers in his ear. "You don't need to."

He bites back his argument, trying to hold onto his mother more tightly, trying to let out every single tear stinging his eyes and stopping his throat. He tries to push back the same thoughts he had two years ago. He tries to be better, to be well. He tries.

He doesn't know how long he cried in his mother's arms, and he doesn't remember falling asleep again.

july 22nd, 1968

17:17

caen, france

~

Eliott wakes to the light of the setting sun filtering into his room. He doesn't feel that intense, debilitating sadness he did before, but he feels fatigued. He hopes he can just fall back asleep until morning, and then the day will finally be over. He'll be okay.

I'll be okay.

He sits up slowly, taking in the golden light that's surrounding him. It's beautiful, comforting. A step closer to night, and a step closer to day. He holds out his hand, watching the light color and warm his skin. But then he can't help but think of the color of Lucas's skin that day, the day before his father died. He thinks of Lucas's skin the day he drowned, soaking wet and deathly pale and quickly losing its heat. He thinks of Lucas's skin the first time he touched it in almost two years, soft but almost unfamiliar, a little cooler than usual. He thinks of what would happen if he touched Lucas again, even if it was an innocent, accidental brush of fingertips. He wonders if the day he came home will be the last memory his skin has of Lucas, memories of shaking hands and trembling lips.

He moves his hand away, returning it to the shadows; to the cold and the dark. He sighs and rests his head against the wall, letting his eyes close. Of course his thoughts come back to Lucas. Of course once his intense, frightening emotions subside, his heart calls out to Lucas for comfort. Of course. When his tears dried after he left the hospital when his father died, he tapped on Lucas's window and fell into his arms. When he turned around as the waves were about to take him, his whole body told him to go to Lucas and hold onto him and never let go. When the daze from the shocks would finally fade away, he would spend hours in his room staring at Lucas's picture and writing him more letters. When those two long years of being at the institution passed, he dreamt of meeting Lucas again and scooping him up in his arms and kissing him until the world ended. And when he's almost weathered another anniversary, another year, he remembers Lucas and worries himself to death if memories will be all he has left of him.

He startles when he hears the doorbell ring, his eyes flying open. He sighs, closing his eyes again and lying back down. He's sure it's one of his mother's friends, or some sort of salesperson. He hears their front door open, and he hears windchimes and the waves—

Lucas.

Eliott's breath catches in his throat, his heart suddenly racing.

Lucas!

He quickly climbs out of his bed, throwing his door open and rushing down the stairs. He can see the light spilling onto the floor from the open window, and he sees a familiar shadow stand out against it.

Lucas!

He reaches the bottom of the stairs, and he finally looks up and sees him.

Lucas visibly tenses when he locks eyes with Eliott, quickly averting his gaze to the floor. He stuffs his hands in his pockets, and his lower lip trembles the slightest bit. He looks so much younger, like he was a scared, little 16-year-old boy again. It reminds Eliott of the way Lucas used to act around him right before they kissed for the first time. Lucas was a nervous wreck, had been betrayed by his own heart. Eliott remembers Lucas telling him all the horrible things he felt back then, and he feels a deep twinge in his chest that he might have made Lucas feel that way again, that's he's hurt him again. 

Lucas looks up at him then, his face neutral but with a world, a nightmare behind his eyes. "Eliott," he says, his name quiet and sweet slipping off Lucas's tongue. He takes a breath, nods once, then barely smiles as he says, "I'm ready."

Reasons I am Terezi:

My soon to be deadname sounds like Terezi.

I have an absurdly long tongue. 

I look and dress like Terezi. [my hair ends up short, and when I straighten it, it always has a curve at the ends like hers. Ive always thought I look like a female version of Karkat and even tried to be more like him.] I primarily wear black t-shirts with nerdy images.

I love mysteries, solving them, and have a knack for knowing the law on an intuitive level.

I had a best fuckin friend forever that I did everything with. We called ourselves the Greythorne Sisters. I was Wither and she was Malice. [telling much?]

When I broke up with her, I.. used my very strong foresight and saw that there would be issues if we stayed friends. Karkat also encouraged me to do it and was outside when I went through with it. After I told her, she literally crumpled, and I hugged her one last time. She didnt expect it at all. ._.

I went insane with regret and self-hatred afterwards.

My ultimate crush looked, acted, and spoke [yelled] EXACTLY like Karkat.

The reason I got into Homestuck was because I was incredibly shocked at how his likeness was captured in the fan art, and even the official art. EVERYTHING is the same except he has grey-blue eyes, caucasion skin color, lacks horns. Everything else is the same. He sounds most like a more masculine version of Broadway Karkat. Very wicked and masculine voice. Extremely intimidating guy despite his size. [hes not short, just shorter than youd expect someone with a cocky personality like his.]

Karkat even called us the Scourge Sisters. 

He hated Vriska. He was jealous of her as well, as anyone interested in me would have been.

I loved Karkat, more than anyone except Vriska, but my self-esteem was too low to believe he legitimately cared about me. On some level I knew he cared about me, but I was too BLIND to see it.

I didnt know I loved Vriska more than Karkat until I had already lost her. v.v

Vriska and I had a serious BDSM relationship [kismesis] after being moirails a very long time. We should have stayed moiraills. :[ It was really my fault that she acted the way she acted.

I am an empath and I can legitimately taste peoples energies. 

I may as well be blind because my eyesight is useless to me without glasses.

My favorite color isnt red, its TEAL, but I have a crazy fetish for fiery guys.

Libra ascendant, which is funny because A. your ascendant was your sign in a previous life, and B. its the realm of your PERSONALITY. [Sun is about your life path and moon is about emotions. :P]

I am creepy and cute [or was when I identified as female]. I love scaring the shit out of people. >:]

I like 1337, but I refuse to type that way all the time even though quirks are awesome conceptually. I mean if I could program the computer to remember my quirk, itd be different, but that isnt a thing yet. Itd definitely spice the internet up much more. :]

I still play with plushies and whatevers at hand and draw with chalk.

I adore dragons and see myself as one because I was born in the year of the dragon. :P

I like to cosplay, and wear capes pretty often. 

Dave is someone I cared about a great deal. He had a crush on me, but I saw him as a brother. Dirk is a total piece of shit and hurt Dave and Karkat and its why they have so much in common. He IS Daves bro. Dave sort of sticks up for him and Dirk has clueless followers. 

Gamzee was a best friend of mine like Dave and we technically had a kismisitude relationship. Gamzee told me Karkat was his best friend but I didnt know it was mutual. He was very upset that Gamzee and I were kinda together.

One night I was sitting at the end of Vriskas bed, thinking she was asleep, and trying not to wake her up with blowing my nose. She was awake and spooked and said she thought I was cackling like a maniac at the end of the bed like a creep. I thought it was pretty much a good assessment.

Another time she told me that while I was asleep, she saw an *evil* me with a sharp toothed grin and grey skin. It didnt seem improbable to me.

John is my biological brother. Hes a Virgo sun, and hes a nerd. :] Hes the only person beside my dad and aunt I talk to. [lots of friends I have, lol.]

Rose is a c*nt but I was fascinated with her for some reason. Rose hates Homestuck because of the fanbase. [lolll]

Kanaya is her sister, not gf/wife. Shes cool, and a reasonable person and was a friend, but we didnt talk much. I dont know why really.. x.x

Aradia was my best friend before Vriska. She and Sollux are married. I had a crush on her hsband and it was awkward.

Equius is an ex. Longest relationship Ive been in was with him.

Eridan is as much of a insufferable asshat as he is in the series, but not good looking in the slightest. He can be.. surprisingly insightful at times. None of us like him, even us INFPs. [Dave and I.]

I see Aranea as my mother. Talks non-stop, ruins lives.. but I used to look up to her.

Calliope was a fellow dragon lover friend that Dave introduced me to. Her handle was Celestial Serpent and she is even more asexual than I am. :]

My friends saw my and Karkats connection as being more like Karkats and Nepetas. He treated me like I was autistic and mostly ignored me. Probably until I confessed to him, and then after I went crazy because I had lost Vriska, and hoped that I could rely on him to be there for me. but despite all that bravado cockiness of his, hes a total wimp. ._.] Karkat and I had a ridiculously brief unspoken relationship that was only through telepathic communication and I got beyond frustrated and kissed a woman, and it was over like that. No one knows about this but us. Its another thing that I have ruminated on and hated myself for and deeply regretted.

I envy gamer girls who are actually good at games and wish I could be more confident and popular. v.v; [Latula]

I had a character on Gaiaonline with the Chucku Norisu scarf and the winged staff item and people drew freebie art of it for me, and when I looked at my pictures after learning about Homestuck it was pretty crazy.

Vriska [best artist I know] drew a character that looked a lot like Terezi that I had liked a lot.

I was very isolated when I was young. Neglected by my parents for the most part and felt too different from other humans. I always wanted a tree house and bulit my own club house that I hung out in as a kid.

My friends pretty much unfairly looked down on and even despised Vriska except Gamzee.

I love the taste and sight of blood. [Im a sadist.]

Dave made a proposition that he, me and Karkat be in a poly relationship and I turned it down. [I did not want to share Karkles with ANYONE. I know in the comic Dave actually disliked the idea, but the poly thing came up with the three of us. I dont know if Karkat was cool with it or not because he always used Dave as our go-between, but if Dave made the offer it must have been Karkat approved. Asshole. -.-]

Karkat and Dave live together and are more than likely morails. Karkat isnt attracted to Dave, but Dave has said he is attracted to Karkat.

I had a dragon umbrella that looked like a cane that I loved a lot.

Karkat is pretty much the unofficial group leader, or at least he was in my opinion. I could see Sollux saying Id make a better leader, though, because Im more clear-headed and calm about things and people from that group respected me [more than I was aware of].

We are all connected somehow.. but the main group consisted of Dave, Gamzee, Rose, Kanaya, me [Terezi], Karkat, and a few people I didnt see as characters from Homestuck. Vriska was not allowed to hang out with us at first. When she finally got her freedom [with my help] she wouldnt hang with the group, and they saw her as taking me away from them. They thought she treated me poorly, but she really didnt. -.- [Vriska did nothing wrong, theyre all just jerks.]

I dont hang out or talk to any of them anymore except John. Im always finding myself reminiscing and I really just wish I could forget I ever met them so I could start over fresh.

I have a spirit guide that is a DRAGON and teaches me anything Id like to know, especially in esoteric matters. His name is Shadowfall Ryu. Ryu is Japanese for Dragon. [lusus] and I agonize that I dont know him irl. Everyone knows about him. I have drawn so much art of him and talked about him so much. He is my ideal self. [i know the lusus in the comics is female, but whatever. Its still interesting.]

I collect dragon stuff, including plushies. I still play with them and wish others would play with me.

List goes on and on.

I cant make this stuff up.

Major Arcana Ask Meme, Iwamori

@angst-for-the-angst-god this one was harder than expected ^^

I. The Magician — What does your muse consider theirself an expert in? Iwamori is pretty good at punching Stuff, an excellent Driver and decent with all manner of crafts

II. The High Priestess — How does your muse feel about religion? With all the supernatural Shit popping out around him, he can see the Shinto Faith getting quite a bit of... substance

III. The Empress — Describe your muse’s relationship with their mother (and father). What he remembers of her is fond, but she died when he was pretty young so memories are a bit muddy, same with his father so im using the emperor for his uncle :D

IV. The Emperor — Describe your muse’s relationship with their uncle. Grudging Respect? Iwamori wants to do his own thing, and his uncle lets him (mostly) do that, supports him even, yet for some reason, Iwa is somewhat on edge around him (maybe its werewolf thing, he cant tell)

V. The Hierophant —  Who does your muse turn to when they’re in desperate need of help? Others come to him when they are in desperate need of help, obviously, or at least thats how he would like it to be... so he will probably ask his friends, while trying to play down how desperate it is exactly

VI. The Lovers — What’s your muses feelings about love? Thats a strong word, Iwamori doesnt bond easily and neither is it easy bonding with him

VII. The Chariot — Describe one of your muses coping mechanisms. He only recently discovered that he feels alright talking about worrying stuff with people outside of the close circle of friends he has, which is odd and somewhat irritating

VIII. Strength — Describe how your muse handles trauma. To swallow your fear you have to eat it first :P and he's good at both... after all someone has to remain unfazed by the whole shit, and that someone is him, or so he thinks

IX. The Hermit — Describe how your muse deals with personal issues. Uff.... ignore them? He tends to believe he's in the right, and has a hard time admitting mistakes

X. Wheel of Fortune — Has your muse ever had to start over, or have they ever wanted to? He is currently in the process of restarting everything they took for granted... magic is real, he's a werewolf, his oldest friends now have friends besides him, he has now friends besides them, that urge to take control is stronger than ever... i could go on, its a lot

XI. Justice — Describe a time when your muse received just desserts - regardless of if that was what they wanted. He once killed a swan, that could have easily just been shoved aside or (semi) ignored and is now doing reparations for that, turns out the swans had people who liked them

XII. The Hanged Man — Describe a time where your muse felt persecuted. When he was aggressivly pushing Taylor to spill his secrets he felt... driven? Everything was shitty, everyone was hostile, most of all he himself

XIII. Death — Describe a time where your muse felt like they lost a major part of their life. He felt (and still feels sometimes) bad about his circle of friends being bigger... yes that is a good thing, but everything is complicated, supernatural things creep out of every corner and closet and he misses the simpler times, when everything was clear and structured, just him and his buddies, the rebels, the outcasts, the foreigners

XIV. Temperance — Does your muse feel like they have their life in order? Not anymore, as said, the simple times are over... going back? No, he wants to keep this expanded world, he feels at ease every now and then even, its just... ̶i̶t̶s̶ ̶t̶o̶ ̶m̶u̶c̶h̶,̶ ̶w̶a̶y̶ ̶t̶o̶ ̶m̶u̶c̶h̶,̶ ̶h̶e̶ ̶n̶e̶e̶d̶s̶ ̶a̶ ̶b̶r̶e̶a̶k̶,̶ ̶w̶a̶n̶t̶s̶ ̶a̶ ̶b̶r̶e̶a̶k̶,̶ ̶m̶a̶y̶b̶e̶ ̶j̶u̶s̶t̶ ̶b̶e̶ ̶a̶ ̶w̶o̶l̶f̶ ̶f̶o̶r̶ ̶a̶ ̶c̶o̶u̶p̶l̶e̶ ̶o̶f̶ ̶d̶a̶y̶s̶ ̶o̶r̶ ̶a̶ ̶f̶e̶w̶ ̶w̶e̶e̶k̶s̶,̶ ̶r̶u̶n̶n̶i̶n̶g̶ ̶a̶r̶o̶u̶n̶d̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶ ̶w̶o̶o̶d̶s̶ ̶o̶r̶ ̶s̶t̶a̶y̶i̶n̶g̶ ̶a̶t̶ ̶s̶o̶m̶e̶o̶n̶e̶s̶ ̶p̶l̶a̶c̶e̶ ̶g̶e̶t̶t̶i̶n̶g̶ ̶j̶u̶s̶t̶ ̶h̶u̶g̶g̶e̶d̶ ̶a̶n̶d̶ ̶c̶u̶d̶d̶l̶e̶d̶ ̶a̶n̶d̶ ̶c̶a̶r̶e̶d̶ ̶f̶o̶r̶,̶ ̶h̶e̶ ̶n̶e̶e̶d̶s̶ ̶t̶i̶m̶e̶ ̶t̶o̶ ̶s̶e̶t̶t̶l̶e̶ ̶i̶n̶ ̶b̶u̶t̶ ̶e̶v̶e̶r̶y̶t̶h̶i̶n̶g̶ ̶i̶s̶ ̶m̶o̶v̶i̶n̶g̶ ̶f̶a̶s̶t̶ ̶a̶n̶d̶ ̶h̶e̶ ̶c̶a̶n̶'̶t̶ ̶a̶l̶l̶o̶w̶ ̶h̶i̶m̶s̶e̶l̶f̶ ̶t̶o̶ ̶l̶e̶t̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶ ̶o̶t̶h̶e̶r̶s̶ ̶a̶l̶o̶n̶e̶,̶ ̶m̶a̶y̶b̶e̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶y̶ ̶n̶e̶e̶d̶ ̶h̶e̶l̶p̶,̶ ̶w̶h̶a̶t̶ ̶i̶f̶ ̶s̶o̶m̶e̶o̶n̶e̶ ̶g̶e̶t̶s̶ ̶h̶u̶r̶t̶?̶ ̶w̶h̶a̶t̶ ̶i̶f̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶y̶ ̶r̶e̶a̶l̶i̶z̶e̶ ̶t̶h̶a̶t̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶y̶ ̶d̶o̶n̶'̶t̶ ̶n̶e̶e̶d̶ ̶h̶i̶m̶?̶ ̶w̶h̶a̶t̶ ̶d̶o̶e̶s̶ ̶h̶e̶ ̶c̶o̶n̶t̶r̶i̶b̶u̶t̶e̶ ̶a̶f̶t̶e̶r̶ ̶a̶l̶l̶?̶ ̶h̶e̶a̶d̶'̶s̶ ̶s̶p̶i̶n̶n̶i̶n̶g̶.̶.̶.̶ ... *shakes head* nah, everything is alright, lets get going

XV. The Devil — Has your muse ever given into temptation? Certainly, getting angry is easy, and he let the anger take over quite often back in the day, but he can't allow himself that anymore, can he?

XVI. The Tower — What does your muse consider to be the worst thing that ever happened to them? He lost control one time to often and people got hurt... people he didnt intend to hurt... that will not happen again

XVII. The Star — Describe the type of art that your muse is drawn towards. Things that take raw, sturdy materials and give them form, wood-carving, smithing, gem-cutting

XVIII. The Moon — Describe an uneasy time in your muse’s life. The time when the supernatural shit started, before he discovered the whole werewolf stuff... that was a whole new level of helplessness

XIX. The Sun — Describe a happy moment in your muse’s life. Playing games with friends, loitering around at public places, working a bit on his motorcycle and bake some cookies, the luxury of a normal day

XX. Judgement — Describe a time where your muse had to make a difficult decision. Every time he needs to apologize... its hard, admitting he made a mistake and feels sorry about it happening

XXI. The World — What are your muses biggest dreams, and how do they plan to achieve them? Uff... he doesnt really have time for dreams, reality is to present usually... would be nice to tour around the country though, once shino and ganesh turn 18 aswell

XXII/0. The Fool — Has your muse ever faced a high risk high reward opportunity that could potentially leave them ruined? Describe that opportunity and whether or not they took it. The darkness once offered him everything he wanted... but yeah, he's not the smartest guy, but neither dumb nor desperate enough to take that offer on, as if people hand out unlimited wishes for free, he has seen enough movies and played enough games to see where that is going

Day 2: Hidden Identities

So this is a day late, but hopefully not a dollar short! (lol kill me my jokes suck) ANYWAY, this is for Day 2 of @thirtydaysofzutara and was heavily inspired by @artcraawl‘s amazing Zutara Mulan AU pictures. Some of it is directly from the movie, some is embellished, anyway I hope it’s a fun read, as I certainly had fun writing it!

---

“I don’t know if I can do this, Tui.”

Katara gave one more half-hearted tug, but her father’s sword remained stubbornly embedded in the tree’s trunk. With a sigh, she flopped to the ground, thumping her fists against the hard-packed soil in frustration. Her companion, a silver dragon-lizard with impossibly black eyes, scurried up the tree and perched on the flat of the blade, tugging gently, but to no avail. “It’ll come out! You just have- to be- persistent!”

With a final tug, the lizard slipped from the blade and fell to the ground. Katara pushed herself up on her elbows with a groan. “I’ve been persistent! It’s not working! I haven’t even been able to get that stupid arrow out of the pole.”

“No one else has, either,” Tui pointed out, curling her tail over her shoulder and rubbing a spot of dirt from her scales.

“That’s not the point.” Katara sat up and pushed herself to her feet.  “They belong here. They don’t have to prove anything.”

“Neither do you, as far as they know.”

“Sure, and what happens when they find-”

“Who are you talking to, Tak?”

Katara froze. Tui scampered into the bushes with an alarmed squeak, and the moment stretched uncomfortably, as the woman tried desperately to convince herself that voice belonged to someone—anyone­—else. It didn’t work; she was pretty sure she could feel his amber gaze burning holes into her back.

He had the disconcerting ability to make her feel like he could see right through her façade—through the warrior she was trying to be, to the scared, homesick girl beneath.

Time sped up again, and Katara turned to look at Zuko, who was standing behind her with his arms crossed and one eyebrow raised.

“Uh…” she began, before realizing her voice was pitched too high, coughing to cover it up. “No one! I’m just, talking to… myself…” She trailed off, rubbing the back of her neck with one hand (mostly to hide the fact that she kept reaching for a lock of hair that just wasn’t there anymore). Her eyes slid to her sword, still sunk into the tree trunk, about the same time Zuko’s did. Disapproval radiated from his lithe form in waves, and Katara had to fight back the nervous laughter that kept threatening to bubble up.

“Oh, this is… I was just training…” she said, grabbing the hilt tightly in both hands. It still refused to move, and she braced herself with one foot on the trunk. Finally, with an almighty yank, the sword came free, and the momentum sent her careening off-balance.

Zuko ducked just in time—the blade passed a hair’s breadth over his head.

“Oops,” Katara muttered, giving a weak chuckle as she clumsily shoved her sword back into its sheath. “Cut it a little close there-” Spirits, Katara, stop talking.

The captain looked less than impressed as he straightened back up, looking at her with some emotion in his eyes that she couldn’t quite describe. Then he sighed, shaking his head. “Pack up.”

Something churned unpleasantly in the pit of her stomach. “What?”

“Go home. You’re through here, Tak. I’ve tried my best, but you just aren’t suited for war—not in my company. And if you’re the best that Chief Hakoda could send in his own stead-” He broke off, squaring his shoulders. “You’d be more of a danger to your own comrades than the Fire Nation soldiers. And I won’t have good men, even you, needlessly killed because they weren’t ready.”

Katara watched as he walked away, trying very hard to keep from noticing the way his muscles had tensed (probably from anger) beneath the thin padding of his training vest. “He’s right. I know he is. But…”

Tui poked her head out of the bushes. “But you want to prove him wrong.”

A wry grimace twisted at her mouth. “I was too willful and stubborn to make a good wife, remember? It must be good for something.”

“So what are you going to do?”

The sun had set, the last of its amber glow receding from the skyline just as the full moon began to peek through the clouds. “I don’t know…” Katara murmured, gazing up at the sky—she traced the moonbeams with her eyes, until she caught one that illuminated the arrow still stuck at the top of that tall, wooden beam.

She could have had it down weeks ago, if she’d wanted to risk waterbending—but it was supposed to be a physical exercise. For all that she was at a disadvantage compared to the rest of the company (not that anyone but Sokka realized it), the last thing she wanted to do was prove herself by cheating. But there had to be some way to get to that arrow. And maybe, if she got it down herself…

 Hours later, the only thing preventing her from screaming in frustration was the fact that Zuko’s tent was only ten feet away. “Come on,” she grunted, taking another running jump at the pole—and, as before, she made it a few feet before falling to the ground in an ungainly heap.

She might have had a better chance at getting higher, if not to the top, if it weren’t for the weights at her wrists. Katara picked herself up for the thousandth time, dropping the weights and dusting herself off. (It was a good thing her family didn’t seem to have the ‘quitter’ gene, or she might have contemplated just leaving, like she’d been told.) She couldn’t help the nagging feeling that there was something about this exercise that was missing, that she just didn’t understand. She picked up the weights again, holding them in front of her, inspecting the etchings in the gold. It was an ancient form of Earth Kingdom script, and she could only make out a few letters.

Somehow, she doubted anyone had carved a cheat sheet onto these things a thousand years ago, anyway.

But as the weights swayed gently on their leather ties, something occurred to her—it was so simple she could almost kick herself for not thinking of it sooner. It was so obvious. It wasn’t just about having to struggle against the weight. It was about discipline and strength—using them to her advantage.

Squaring her shoulders, Katara faced the pole again—this time, when she jumped, she swung the weights, tangling the leather ties together, and she began to climb.

Halfway up, she almost wanted to let go, forget the whole thing. Her arms were screaming in protest, and she kept slipping even as she gained inches in height—sweat was streaming down her face in small rivers, and she could feel her tunic sticking to her back. The cotton binding around her breasts was beginning to itch something fierce. But she had already gotten too far to quit, and so she kept going—gaining inches and losing centimeters, until she could see the top of the pole. She could almost reach out and grab that arrow.

The sun began to peek over the horizon once more, and Katara gasped for breath, her muscles screaming in agony as she grabbed the top of the pole and finally pulled herself up. It was a deceptively wide beam of wood, in fact, and easy enough to perch on was she grabbed the arrow in one tender hand and pulled it free.

It was only when the cheering began that she realized she’d drawn a crowd.

A tired grin crossed her face, and she subtley bent some of her sweat, coating the arrow-head with a thin layer of ice. Just as Zuko’s tent flap opened, she threw the arrow down—it landed with impressive accuracy, thudding into the ground at his feet as he stepped out. He looked up at her, and while it was difficult to tell from how far away she was, Katara almost thought he looked proud.

 ---

 “I’m sorry. About your uncle.” Katara winced inwardly—she kept forgetting to pitch her voice low enough, but Zuko didn’t seem to notice. He was staring at the fire; if he’d heard a word she said, he didn’t indicate it. Which was almost a relief—she wasn’t sure she’d be able to get into a conversation about lost loved ones and not accidentally blow her own cover.

Sokka had been helping as much as he dared, once he’d realized her plan, but there was only so much he could do to keep her from ruining everything with her ‘stupid girly habits’.

Apparently, talking about feelings qualified.

Either way, Zuko clearly wasn’t in the mood for company. Katara turned to go—if she hadn’t already become so tuned to the tenor of his voice, for reasons she couldn’t even begin to explain, she might have missed it entirely when he said, “Thank you, Tak.”

She stopped, glancing back at him—he was giving her at least an attempt at a smile, and it suddenly struck her how very young he looked. Especially for a captain.

He really couldn’t have been more than a couple years older than she was, and it was hard enough for her to manage to keep her own life straight—she couldn’t imagine what it was like trying to lead an entire company.

She opened her mouth to say something else—she wasn’t quite sure what, but since when had thinking ever stopped her from blurting out what was on her mind?—when she heard the screech of a bird of prey high in the sky above them. It sounded familiar, almost… almost like…

She was six years old, and the snow had turned grey from falling ash. Buildings burned, people were screaming and running away, bursts of fire from soldiers in the streets kept illuminating the overcast sky, and Katara couldn’t find her parents.

“Mama!” she shouted, tears streaking through the soot stains on her face, running towards her house. Everything was chaos, but she still knew home. Somewhere, high in the sky, a fire hawk screamed—the little girl could see it circling over her family’s hut, an omen she couldn’t quite comprehend.

When she opened the door, the smell of charred flesh nearly knocked her off her feet. It was-

“The Fire Nation!” Katara heard herself shouting, those last images from her memory still superimposed over her vision, the smell sticking to her all these years later. She wanted to gag, but there was no time. “They’re here! They-“

An arrow whistled through the air and into Zuko’s shoulder as he stood, knocking him flat.

“Zuko!” Katara rushed to his side as more arrows floated into view just over the snowy hilltop—he waved her off, pulling the arrow free with a grunt and clambering to his feet.

“Everyone, get out of their range! Grab the cannons!”

It was pure chaos, after that. Zuko’s company scattered—they grabbed armloads of cannons and their weapons and ran, forcing the Fire Nation soldiers to abandon their high ground advantage if they wanted to do any real damage. Out of range of the arrows was also out of range of their firebenders, and it took everything Katara had not to panic and freeze.

“Sokka!” The relief nearly knocked her over, but she held her ground, grabbing for her brother’s hand and yanking him out of the way of another arrow barrage. “Where’s Zuko? Is he-”

“He’s fine! We need to set up these canons, Tak. Now!”

Their answering barrage sent shockwaves rippling through the ground—when they were down to the last cannon, Zuko appeared behind them. “Hold- we don’t know who’s left. If…”

He trailed off. The smoke cleared, and revealed the bulk of the Fire Nation army still intact on the hillside.

Ozai was at the army’s head. Katara could feel his smug smirk from here.

“Sokka, take that last canon. Hit Ozai, if it’s the last thing you do!” Zuko commanded. “Men- prepare for a fight!”

Katara’s hand went to her sword hilt, but something was still bothering her. Taking out Ozai wouldn’t decimate the Fire Nations forces—they’d keep coming, they’d kill everyone. How many more villages would suffer the way Omashu had? The way her tribe had? The way-

She caught sight of the snow-covered mountain just behind them. They weren’t going to have time to retreat back through the mountain passes to safety, but maybe, if she could only just… She reached, but nothing. Practicing her bending in secret had only gotten her so far, and that snow was too far off. But…

“Give me that!” She pushed Sokka aside and grabbed the cannon. It would work. It had to.

 ---

 Katara was beginning to lose feeling in her arms. She hadn’t realized Ozai’s blade had cut that deep, but now Koda’s saddle was soaked in her blood, and she had barely been able to muster the strength to grab Zuko and pull him to safety.

The avalanche had stilled, snow wiping the last traces of the Fire Nation army away, and Katara finally slid from her horse’s back, stumbling to her knees. Zuko had regained consciousness, and he rushed to her side. “Tak! Are you alright?”

She gripped his arm and pulled herself upright, nodding weakly. “I’m fine, is everyone else-”

“We made it, Tak,” Toph said, affectionately thumping her shoulder. “Thanks to you. That was brilliant.”

The others chimed in, and Katara smiled, for just a moment. And then she collapsed.

When she opened her eyes, she recognized the colors of the medical tent above her cot. For a moment, Katara was dazed, confused—how had she gotten here? Where were Zuko, Sokka and the others? How-

Her clothing had been removed. The breast binding wraps were visible, overlapping the bandages around her abdomen. The doctor was looking at her, perhaps to be sure she was truly awake, but when she opened her mouth to speak, he turned away and left the tent.

Katara sat up quickly, wincing at the tight feeling of the wound in her stomach, wanting to protest—but then Zuko stepped inside, and the words died in her throat.

It was then that she realized her hair was loose—the thick, dark brown waves that just brushed against her shoulders were much more visibly feminine now that she no longer wore them in her father’s hairstyle, and the breast wraps had only been effective at hiding her figure when covered by padding and armour. Now, she felt her cheeks burn as Zuko’s eyes followed her figure, and realized the truth of what the doctor had obviously told him.

“So it’s true,” came Long Feng’s voice as he entered the tent behind Zuko. Where the latter’s gaze was completely unreadable, Long Feng didn’t bother to disguise his disgust. He surged forward, grabbing Katara by the arm and dragging her out of the tent, throwing her into the snow with just her blanket for cover. She fell to her knees before the rest of the company, tears of humiliation freezing to her lashes before they even had a chance to fall.

“A woman,” Long Feng hissed. “A despicable traitor to our great kingdom!”

Toph and Aang stared in shock. Sokka started forward, but Katara shook her head. It was too late for her, but she would not let her brother take the fall, too. “My name is Katara. I only came here to save my father-”

“More lies!” Long Feng insisted, turning to glare at her as Zuko approached. “Devious snake!”

“I never meant for it to go this far!” Her eyes met Zuko’s, and she pleaded with him silently. Please understand. “You have to believe me! I only wanted-”

“Silence!” Long Feng shouted.

Sokka ran forward. “Wait! You can’t do this—she’s my sister!”

“Sokka, no!”

But the damage was done. “You knew about her deception?” Long Feng was practically quivering with rage. “Stand aside, boy, or you will share in this traitor’s fate!”

“Sokka, please-”

He refused to budge. Katara could still see Zuko, staring at the both of them now, sword in hand. He took a step forward, and several gasps ran through the company—Toph and Aang looked ready to rush to their defense, but Long Feng threw his arm out and stopped them. “You know the law!”

For just a moment, Katara met Zuko’s eyes, and thought she saw something flickering in their depths. Something other than anger or disgust. Something warm.

Then it was gone, and Zuko threw his sword to the ground. “A life for a life,” he said, staring down at her. “My debt to you is ended.” Finally, as if only now realizing he was there, Zuko looked at Sokka. “Take her home. Don’t bother coming back.”

He turned on his heel—Long Feng made a noise, as if he were about to protest, but Zuko turned on him with a glower that could’ve melted steel. The advisor finally cowed into silence, he turned to the rest of his men and motioned for them to move out.

 ---

 “You trusted Tak. Why is Katara any different?”

“You stole my victory.” “No! I did!” “… The soldier from the mountain!”

“She’s a woman, and from the water tribes! She’s not worth protecting!”

“I have heard all about you, Katara of the Water Tribes. You followed your brother off to war—stole your father’s armour and ran away from home. You impersonated a soldier, deceived your commanding officer, dishonored the Earth Kingdom, and… you have saved us all.”

 It was… surreal. That was the only way Katara could describe the feeling that overtook her, when she realized that not only was the Earth King bowing, but so was the entirety of Ba Sing Se. As far as the eye could see, citizens were stooping low, and it was all but impossible to believe they were honoring her.

Even Zuko was bowing—even her brother. She wanted to tell them all to stand up, that she really hadn’t done anything that extraordinary, but she didn’t want to risk losing the King’s good faith. The moment eventually passed, anyway, and Katara turned to find the Earth King smiling warmly at her.

“I would be honored if you would accept a seat on my council, Katara,” he said—Long Feng looked like he was about to faint.

“B- but sir, you can’t just- there are no positions open!”

“Alright. You can have his job.”

This time, he did faint. Katara had to smother a chuckle before taking a deep breath and shaking her head. “You honor me, your majesty, but… I think it’s time for me to go home.”

He nodded, as if he’d expected nothing less of her.

The Earth King gave her his medallion and Ozai’s sword, and when Katara finally turned to go, she very nearly ran right into Zuko. “Oh! Zuko, I-”

“Katara-” he began, at the same time. They both broke off; Katara bit her lip, waiting for him to continue. He cleared his throat. “I, uh- you fight good. Well! Proficiently, you- you’re an excellent soldier.”

Their eyes met, but Katara was the first to look away, this time. “Oh. Thank you, Zuko. For everything.” And then she left, finding Koda and pulling herself into his saddle to begin the long journey home.

“You don’t meet a girl like that every dynasty,” the Earth King declared—sounding very much like he was calling Zuko an idiot.

 “Would you like to stay for dinner?” From a distance, Katara could hear Grandma Kanna’s voice, “Would you like to stay forever?!” Zuko laughed. “Dinner would be great.”

An Analysis of the Hargreeves Sibling’s Introduction Montage

The sequence that introduces us to the Hargreeves siblings is fantastic and worthy of in depth analysis. Am I in any way qualified to give that analysis? No! Am I going to do it anyway? Absolutely.

I. Vanya

First of all, let’s talk about our lovely accompaniment for this scene: Vanya. First to appear, last to be introduced, and doesn’t that just say it all. Even as we see her throughout this scene, the focus is on her violin, not on her. We can’t get a good look at her - either she’s in extreme close ups or in wide shots which, combined with the dramatic lighting, make it hard to make her out. The focus on her violin makes sense. Her music is what makes her extraordinary (both before and after she finds out about her powers), so of course her music would be the focal point of her intro, not to mention the fact that she is, as I said, the accompaniment for this sequence. This mirrors her position in the family as well: as the accompaniment, she is setting the tempo for the scene, controlling it in a way, which makes her the most important character in this sequence. But at the same time, most people don’t pay that much attention to the score, usually they are more focused on the visuals (her more ‘interesting’ siblings, in this case), so we also see how she is marginalized by her family. My first time watching it, I didn’t even realize that she was one of the siblings until the end when her title card comes up.

And while we’re talking about Vanya let’s skip to the end real quick and talk about that shot:

Her position is stiff, shoulders tense, which we soon learn is pretty much her default, and she looks almost guilty for playing this beautiful medley. While the lights were out her movements were fluid and graceful, but as soon as they come back on she is back to her unremarkable self. This one shot does a lot to establish her character.

One last Vanya note before we move on: her choice of music. Of course, she doesn’t know that she’s playing along to her and her siblings’ establishing character moments, but let’s pretend for a moment that she does. She’s playing a medley from Phantom of the Opera, which is famous enough that I’m sure no one needs a plot summary, but just incase: a controlling male figure in a young woman’s life tries to make her extraordinary because from his perspective it’s what’s best for her, but really he just ends up traumatizing her. Sound familiar? There’s parallels to both what Reginald did to the children and later what Leonard did to her. (Also I like to imagine if Lindsey Sterling doesn’t exist in this universe that Vanya arranged it herself like. She’s creative! She likes musicals! I’m love her!)

II. Luther

Next up, as Vanya starts to play, we see Luther waking up on the moon (at like 11 pm - like, I’ve had my fair share of depression naps but jesus, buddy). As he’s getting ready, the shot focuses on his back, not showing us his face. These face concealing shots are gonna come up again, so remember that. Focusing on his back also emphasises Luther’s back, sticking it in our mind. His hugeness is emphasised as the most important thing about him - in the rest of the show, his body is the thing that Luther is most self conscious about. Also the shots of him getting ready are mirrored in ep 2, which I think is pretty cool.

Going back to the back shots, most of the siblings are introduced this way - either with the camera to their back or with their face otherwise obscured. This shows how closed off they all are at the beginning of the show. For Luther specifically, he has the shots I’ve previously mentioned, and then in the shot with his name plate, it’s a wide shot:

Even though we can see his face now, it’s still partially obscured by the distance and by his space helmet. We don’t get a good close up shot of his face until later. Also, one more note about the back shots, but in the very first couple of seconds of Luther’s part, what do we see?

Yep, one of the moon reports that is going to cause so much trouble for him in the future. And the most prominent thing we see is the last name - Hargreeves. The first thing we see of Luther is his father’s last name.

And finally, the music. The part of the medley that’s playing during this section is the melody line of the title song “Phantom of the Opera”. There’s only Vanya playing the violin, a single sound, that really emphasises the loneliness of the moon. It also could serve as a connection between Vanya and Luther - they’re both isolated but for different reasons. Plus, Luther gets probably the most recognizable section of the music. It is the title track, and one could argue that that makes it the most important song (one could argue, but I’m sure no one who actually knows the show would, kind of like how Luther thinks he’s more important than the rest of the family).

Also one last thing, I really like the fact that Luther has a little plant in space. It shows his hidden caring nature, and also is just really cute.

III. Diego

As the music kicks in we are introduced to our resident bad boy Diego, breaking bones, cracking skulls, and saving lives, baby B). Diego’s section starts with the part in the song where the electric guitar kicks in in the original show (and the drums and other instruments in the medley start here too). In the original musical, this was a big shift in the genre of opera - it made it more modern. And that fits well with Diego as well, who’s a modern sort of superhero.

Back to the shot composition, we don’t see Diego at first, only the robbers and their victims. The first shot of him is through the window, where he is cloaked in shadows. And even when we see him with his name plate his face is still concealed by his mask (which doesn’t actually cover much but it’s the thought that counts). Again, remember, we’ll come back to this.

Besides that this is the first time we see one of the siblings fighting, which is cool, and also the first use of their powers when Diego pins one of the robbers to the wall with a knife. The last thing that I want to note is the fact that the family Diego is saving is interracial:

It makes me wonder if Diego feels more strongly for interracial families because of his own family. If so, we could also see this intro as symbolic of his desire to save his own family, even though he doesn’t show it. And if not, hey, it’s always cool to see more interracial families on tv.

IV. Allison

Next we see our star Allison walking the red carpet of one of her movie premieres. The music still has the high energy that Diego’s part had, which shows that Allison is a modern woman. It also makes me want more Allison and Diego interactions, we don’t see a lot of them. And again, Allison is first shown from the back:

We see her face pretty quickly after this, though, and it is clear she is loving her life. Or at least she seems like it, since we find out all about her trauma later in the show. She is and actress, and she is acting for the cameras - even here. She’s acting well though, especially considering how overwhelming the paparazzi are.

Allison is also the first and only sibling who’s tattoo you can see in the opening scene, because of her dress. There isn’t much attention drawn to it with the shot composition but it is pretty easy to notice since not a lot of people have tattoos, and it’s the only thing on her arm. Also, her dress with the long train looks kind of like a cape in shots from the back:

And I just think that’s really cool.

V. Klaus

And finally we get to Klaus, and here’s the payoff for all the back shots - throughout his introduction, we never see his back, not once (well, once later on when he does the little heel click after buying drugs, but he started facing the camera, so I’m counting it). The camera is focused on his face from the moment he jumps into frame, and follows it through his whole time checking out of rehab. This sequence is a oner, a shot done in one take, or at least made to look like it was, so the only time we’re not on his face is when we’re in his perspective of the rehab worker. As I said before, the rest of the siblings are introduced with their back to the camera or otherwise obscured because they are hiding their true feelings under a facade. Luther, Diego, and Allison are all trying to pretend everything’s fine. Klaus isn’t trying to pretend, though. He is an open book. And while the fact that he’s given up on even trying to pretend everything is fine is uhhh concerning, the fact that he is so open is a good thing. He’s also the first sibling to speak:

(”Alright? I believe in you.”)

He really isn’t hiding anything from the audience. Right away we get to see his face, hear his voice, and get a sense of what he’s like: Incredibly sarcastic but also kind of sweet.

Klaus’s section also marks the first change in music, from “Phantom of the Opera” to “Angel of Music” (cause he’s an angel). This song is much sweeter and softer than the previous one, and lets us calm down a bit during this sequence.

One last thing to note is that Klaus has his headphones with him in rehab:

Even though they confiscated his capri sun or whatever it was. First of all is that allowed? I thought that rehabs were supposed to confiscate everything, especially things with cords. But second of all the only other time we see him with his headphones is in ep 3 in the bath after his flashback. He uses them to block out the ghosts, so since he has them with him now we can infer that rehab went great and not at all tramatically :)

VI. Reginald’s Death

The last part of the sequence is all the children finding out about Reginald’s death. First is Luther receiving his transmission up on the moon. Luther’s the only one who is told deliberately, most of the others find out by the news. He also has a little chair up there, possibly to watch the sunrise over the Earth like he was talking to Allison about in ep 3. “Angel of Music” is still playing over this bit. Also we finally get a good close up shot of Luther’s face, and judging by the huge beard that’s gone by the funeral he is not taking very good care of himself up there.

Next up Diego learns about it from the tv in the house of the family he’s saving. The music switches to “Think of Me”, a song about longing, and a pretty decent one to learn about your dad’s death to. Also he just leaves the family tied up like Diego. Diego they need help.

Next is Allison, who finds out through probably the worst possible way, by a bunch of paparazzi shouting questions at her about it. I don’t have much to say here expect that that sucks. Poor girl.

After that is Klaus, barely an hour out of rehab and already buying drugs and overdosing. As he walks off with the drugs and it cuts to the ambulance, the music cuts almost abruptly to “Music of the Night”, which kind of matches hilariously with Klaus coming back from the dead. With the way he looks at the tv in confusion and the amount of drugs pumping through him it makes me wonder if he even understood what was going on at that moment.

(Also Klaus kisses his dealer on the cheek and then kisses the drugs and he does something similar the second time we see him getting drugs and there is probably a whole ‘nother post about Klaus and kisses which I am not writing now… yet.)

And last but not least, Vanya. She learns from seeing the newscast through a shop window, in a shot that mirrors her seeing the comics and typewriter in ep 3 when she decided to write her book. Someone else also pointed out that as soon as she learns the news it starts raining, the same way it starts raining when she’s angry in ep 6 and 7, so this could be a latent use of her powers.

And that’s it! I don’t really know how to end this but wow this is really long and also I’d die for these kids. Thank you!

all of them all the max arcana asks

I. The Magician — What does your muse consider theirself an expert in?Biochemistry and being a dumbass.II. The High Priestess — How does your muse feel about religion?He is an atheist, but comes from a somewhat religious background. His father is Jewish, and he considers his Jewish heritage to be an important part of his cultural makeup, even if he does not follow really any Jewish practices. (He does participate in most High Holidays, but mostly for his father’s sake.) His mother comes from an Irish Catholic family, but again, that always felt more cultural than actually religious. In fact, his mother was a dabbler, taking from all sorts of religious systems for her own personal beliefs and practices. Basically, religion is not for him, and he does not believe in any sort of divine creator, but he does feel that religion holds cultural value, especially for his family. III. The Empress — Describe your muse’s relationship with their mother.Daniel acknowledges that he idol-worships his mother, but she did die violently when he was eleven, so. He remembers her as being uncommonly kind, wickedly funny, and generally perfect. He was absolutely a momma’s boy growing up, and her loss was devastating. IV. The Emperor — Describe your muse’s relationship with their father.Daniel’s relationship with his father is...complex. He also idolized his dad, but more in a ‘I wanna be you when I grow up’ kind of way. His father instilled in him his love of science, and of course, set him on his path to becoming Hydra. After his mother’s death, Daniel and his father’s relationship never fully recovered. Matthew did his best to care for his son, but he didn’t know how to be a mom, and Daniel, always too smart for the world around him, didn’t know how to be “normal,” but they both tried their best. Matthew was never neglectful, just a little distant. Once Daniel found out that Hydra was, you know, evil, their relationship exploded. Daniel couldn’t forgive his father for leading him down a path that lead to people getting hurt. They’re still not back to where they were. They barely talk now. V. The Hierophant —  Who does your muse turn to when they’re in desperate need of help?  His best friends, Connor and Jonathan, and his maternal grandmother, whom he calls Mimi. VI. The Lovers — What’s your muses feelings about love?Daniel wants desperately to love, to be loved, to have love in his life, but after his disastrous, abusive first relationship, he is nervous about opening up his heart again. VII. The Chariot — Describe one of your muses coping mechanisms.Daniel is a naturally gregarious and talkative person, but when he is nervous or scared or tense, he falls silent. He is the type to curl in on himself when he thinks he isn’t safe. This is a direct result of the aforementioned abusive relationship. If Daniel is being uncharacteristically silent, he does not feel safe in whatever situation he’s in. VIII. Strength — Describe how your muse handles trauma.Push through it, work harder, be better, don’t let people down. He takes everything on himself and shoves it all down deep. When he was being abused, he focused even harder on his studies, making sure that he was the best in everything, one less thing to be a disappointment in. He needs therapy, and he knows he needs therapy, but he has convinced himself that because he is doing fine in his life, he can go without. IX. The Hermit — Describe how your muse deals with personal issues.Daniel is fairly quick to cut people out of his life if he feels they are not healthy for him. He lingered in an abusive relationship longer than he thinks he should have, and that is a constant source of shame for him. Now, when he starts to have problems with people, he jumps the gun on cutting them out, to save himself the heartache of staying longer than he should. X. Wheel of Fortune — Has your muse ever had to start over, or have they ever wanted to?When Hydra was outed by Natasha Romanoff, Daniel’s entire professional career imploded. He had to start over in S.H.I.E.L.D., the very organization he grew up not trusting. XI. Justice — Describe a time when your muse received just desserts - regardless of if that was what they wanted.One time Daniel tried to prank his best friend Jonathan by setting off a stink bomb in his room in the apartment but the thing accidentally went off in Daniel’s closet. He never quite got the smell out of his clothes. XII. The Hanged Man — Describe a time where your muse felt persecuted.I mean, his organization’s files were dumped onto the web for the world to see, so...XIII. Death — Describe a time where your muse felt like they lost a major part of their life.Again, his mother died when he was eleven, and he had to navigate the rest of his life without her guidance. XIV. Temperance — Does your muse feel like they have their life in order?Mostly, but not entirely. XV. The Devil — Has your muse ever given into temptation?Of course. XVI. The Tower — What does your muse consider to be the worst thing that ever happened to them?Rape and abuse. XVII. The Star — Describe the type of art that your muse is drawn towards.Daniel loves music, listening to it and creating it. He plays the piano and the guitar, and he sings very well. He’s really into most types of music, especially weird stuff that crosses genres. XVIII. The Moon — Describe an uneasy time in your muse’s life.He started high school when he was ten, which was obviously pretty stressful. Most of his classmates tended to ignore him, or perhaps treat him like an odd pet, but some liked to remind him of how strange and unaccepted he was. XIX. The Sun — Describe a happy moment in your muse’s life.When he graduated with his Ph.D. in biochemistry at age 20, his father told him that there was a job waiting for him at the very lab that he had grown up in, following in his father’s footsteps. Nothing could have made him prouder. XX. Judgement — Describe a time where your muse had to make a difficult decision.When the investigations into Hydra began, Daniel had to decide whether or not he was going to voluntarily help investigators pursue justice, and he did. XXI. The World — What are your muses biggest dreams, and how do they plan to achieve them?More than anything, he wants to leave this world better than the way he found it. He wants the good he does to always outweigh the bad, and for him, it’s always going to be the little decisions, the little choices that make the biggest impact. XXII/0. The Fool — Has your muse ever faced a high risk high reward opportunity that could potentially leave them ruined? Describe that opportunity and whether or not they took it.I can’t think of one, and honestly, he’s not a risk-taker. He likes to play things safe. 

OH FUCK I THINK I FINALLY CRACKED THE CODE OF WHY I ALWAYS LIKE THE VILLAINS BETTER

Like man it always makes me so confused cos i mean im a soft AF person and i always end up having sympathetic redemption headcanons for them so its not like i like VILLAINY ITSELF but what else do all these characters have in common?

Thats it. Thats it, ursula helped me crack it.

I just WANT THOSE TRAITS ON THE HEROES

I really want a nice confident sassy funny chubby trans auntie who promotes body positivity to our young hero and always gets to say the coolest lines and get the best moments and BE LOVED FOR WHO SHE IS

And like usually whenever you get anywhere close to seeing those "villain traits" on a hero they like.. Remove all the good parts. If you have a supportive hero aunt she's always boring and generically supportive instead, and has to look like the most stereotypical boring mess ans have a super small plot role and uuuugh thats IF SHES EVEN THERE i mean seriously aunties and grandmas are weirdly less represented as mentors than grandpas who are already REALLY HARD TO FIND and again OFTEN GENERIC AND UNFUN WHENEVER THEY GET TO APPEAR

And how damn often are we allowed to have a chubby gay aunt!! WHERE IS MY CHUBBY GAY AUNT!! ive met SO MANY chubby gay aunts in real life like 90% of all my psychologists have been either that or like.. The exact same but a straight lgbt ally instead. Sassy plus size aunties are THE BACKBONE OF OUR SOCIETY DAMMIT! I've had so much help thanks to sassy gay aunts!! And like even just looking at any damn crowd scene in a normal city centre youre gonna see so many chubby aunts and long nosed uncles and all those sorts of bullshit "ugly people" that mass media pretends are ugly and relegates to One Minor Role In The Entire Cast despite them being infinately more common than supermodels and NOT UGLY AT ALL GEEZ IT PISSES ME OFF SO MUCH

I cant believe im a fuckin disney villain fan cos of body positivity

Tfw u suck so bad at making hateable people that the fandom universally hugs all your villains and ignores your boring protagonists like fuckin TAKE THAT DIDNEY

God i wanna hug hades sooo bad he just needs a friend aaaaaa

And i mean its not just disney, every damn time ive obsessed over a villain its been because they have some trait thats supposed to be "bad" but its actually good and we dont get to see it on the heroes

Like my thing with science villains in particular is that when i first played ff7 i really liked the idea of an evil minion who's a bad sidekick not just because he's "dumb" or "bumbling" but because he's actually not interested in any of the evil stuff and he works against his own boss and is like.. Friendly to the heroes, i have no particular grudge against you and i wont stop you if im off duty and all. I liked the Turks for the same reason but in the origibal ff7 translation they were kind of stoic and serious and i didnt really become as much of a fan of them til i saw them being more goofy and comic relief in some optional sidequests and then their movie adaptation. But hojo was always being all "lol my boss's plan is so stupid amirite" and had that very memorable scene where he's just sunbathing and tells you everything you need to know to get to the next thing to ruin his boss's plan cos i mean fuck it who even cares im just here to soak up some sun while fully dressed in a turtleneck and labcoat. It sucked so much that he was such a reprehensible bastard with creepy sexual assault vibes and murder and child abuse and experimenting on people and basically just NOT A LOVEABLE VILLAIN but his CONCEPT held so much potential to be filled by a sympathetic character instead...

So yeah then cos of him i kept being obsessed with finding SOME CHARACTER SOMEWHERE that actually lived up tp that potential, and thats why i was instantly interested in charon from pokemon and totally on edge waiting for the slightest chance for him to become That Perfect Sass Gramps Of Legend. And then he was indeed sassy!! And had so little screenyime that there was potential for interpretation of him as potentially redeemable cos i mean the game never said he wasnt, the game barely said anything about him at all, lol. And he was so old and small and frail looking and i just wanted to protect him!! And then that one wifi event that actually hinted at synpatheticness!! Aaaa its a recipe for a Forever Fave~

And i guess maybe it all started with my grandma being awesome and me really missing her? Cos i had shitty abusive parents and she was my ONLY good family member who showed me what love was like. And she was also basically a supervillain. Like every damn supervillain trait except being evil! She was bombastic and confident and sassy and mischievious and loud and passionate about stuff and always had something funny to say and never gave up no matter how many times she failed. And she also used all that great power for the forces of good!

So yeh thats why i love sassy good guys and i hate that often even when a sassy villain gets redeemed they seem to lose all their edge and become more generic now theyre a good guy. Or they get totally sidelined with no screentime anymore, or they ONLY get to be comic relief and dont get the full and complex redemption they deserve. Or just a lot of bads!! Its never the simplest answer of just fuckin.. Keep the character the character. Thats kinda why i didnt feel too much for the maleficent movie even though the concept itself sounded like everything i ever wanted. The character in that movie is a very different person to origibal maleficent, she's more just a stoic tsundere mumsy figure than a hammy badass iconicness. Still a nice villain redemption but it felt like it would have been better as an original story instead of an attempted maleficent. Also i wish they handled it better with the whole "true love's kiss could be from your mum instead" thing cos i get sooooo grossed out whenever i see people shipping movie maleficent and aurora! Like yes sleeping beauty with lesbians would be great but not when one of them is old enough to be her mum and raised her like a mum and changed her goddamn diapers! Also why did they have to ruin the three good fairies just to make maleficent have the mum opportunity? Like just remove them from the story if you wanted maleficent to raise the kid instead. No need to rewrite them into incompetant assholes when they were everyone's fave part of the original! Dont sacrifice the rare and elusive Good Sassy Gay Aunts!! THEYRE LIKE THE ONLY ONES IN DIDNEY!!! (Incodentally merlin is the equivelant of this to hades as the fairies are to ursula)

Also also villains tend to have ACTUAL FLAWS in stories that have a more boring bland protagonist. I wanna see the story behind charon's neuroses and how he struggles with overcoming his temptation to be bad because of greed but ultimately manages to conquer his own negative side because power of friendship and such. Thats a great character arc that provides so much more than he does as a villain where they just wasted him entirely :(

SO BASICALLY IN SUMMARY

* villains are often more complex and well developed characters with flaws while the same wroter might make shitty heroes due to the illogical fear that nobody would root for them if they werent 100% perfect and successful at everything ever

* villains are also often made as negative stereotypes of minorities and other rarely seen traits, which means its easy to reach out to them and reclaim them as a more positive version when theres literally no other options for you to cling to

* the quite common accidental sympathy factor where a villain will seem to be hated more than they deserve for their actions, ir unjustly punished so much that they feel like an underdog, since the writer assumes you'll think theyre "more evil" for being a stereotype and if you dont agree that this thing is bad then it seems like they have way less sins than the story claims they do

* also sass. Sass is good.

But basically the whole root of it is that its stupid and cruel and doesnt goddamn work when you make villains bigoted stereotypes. It just makes me love them! The only person i hate when i see a stereotypical villain is the writer who thought that was a good idea, lol. Just imagine that meme of the samurai holding the cat but its me holding all disney villains!

Also even if a villain isnt outright intentionally meant to be "this minority is bad", it can still make me symoathetic to them if theyre still something thats rare amoung the hero side in the same series. Like charon being the "most unredeemable" villain despite being the most harmless and funny and his plan being so much less world destroying than cyrus, and also he's the only grandpa villain in like.. The whole of all. And he's drawn very much in that way thays supposed to be "ugly" i.e normal grandpa, vs that weird sort of younger than he looks grandpa that hero ones tend to be because blablabla beauty ewuals goodness anti body positivity whatever. Tho actually sinnoh was good with that, they had the best grandpa professor in my opinion cos he got to be sassy too! Rowan always reminds me of auron from ff10. Sinnoh was a good game where i liked a lot of both the heroes and villains even if i still had more villain faves cos i mean pokemon is always biased towards that for me since every game has a voiceless perosnalityless main character and often theyre the one doing most of the heroing with the supporting hero characters having surprisingly little proper screen time. Thats a big part of why i loved hau gladion and lillie in sun and moon! They felt more like a real friend group than any other ones before.

ANYWAY now im just going offtopic into more "i love lots of stuff about every pokemon game" so ill stop typing now

But just basically VILLAINS ARE GOOD COS THEYRE GOOD CHARACTERS and if those stories gavethe same character a good guy role then id still love them just as much, if not more. I dont specifically like villainy, its just that my definition of a good character is often considered a bad character by lazy writers, apparantly?

Also WHERE IS MY SUPPORTIVE GOOD GRAMPS CHARON GAME AND GAY AUNTIE URSULA GIVES YOU FASHION TIPS SMARTPHONE MMO