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estro-gem · 6 months

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Jax x Ragatha: The snake and the water spring

The Amazing Digital Circus AU: Oasis.

Author's note: I found this show by chance and I took a great liking to it! So now I did a thing, instead of studying for upcoming exams, because I love making things difficult for myself, apparently.

I have no idea what the fandom is like, but I'm playing it safe just to be... well... safe. I just loved the concept of this show so much that I couldn't help but be inspired by it! It got me thinking and I let it all out in this... thing.

I want to write more one-shot fics about the other characters and how they fit into this au too, but I don't know when I'll be able to.

WARNING! None of these characters are mine and everything mentioned and described is purely made-up fiction; inspired by works that are not my own. Nothing should be considered canon or taken seriously - we are all here to have some harmless fun! No age restrictions. I think this might be appropriate for all ages...?

Please show some love and support for Gooseworx; the creator of The Amazing Digital Circus!

I definitely butchered Gooseworx's characters by adding unnecessary 'relationship dynamics' and deviating from their original personalities. I promise that the actual show and characters are so much better than they are in my false portrayal of them.

SUMMARY:

A fanmade take on the events following Pomni's arrival and after the crew had dinner together. This is focused on Jax's point of view, but still written in the third person.

Jax confronts Ragatha after the pilot episode's 'dinner' and does his best to comfort her in a way that works for them. That's it.

Please enjoy!

THE SNAKE AND THE WATER SPRING

Jax was a desert snake.

Nothing but a cold-blooded pest that lived to find his next meal.

When one is left to die under the scorching sun, you can’t stomp on the sun for creating a desert, but you could stomp on the desert snake if it added to the pain of surviving in said desert. The Digital Realm was nothing but a desert sun – a cage with no exit and an evil with no target.

It was no secret why so many had lost their minds here.

Jax took on the role of being the snake. It was never announced or planned, but it was deemed necessary by all who came to know the realm. The inhabitants of The Amazing Digital Circus craved any sense of control; something they could hold accountable for their torment – something they could punish. A menace, parasite.

Evil with a target: Jax.

It was fun to act out while everybody went about their lives. He could unapologetically be the worst being known to man and thrive on the rage and hatred of all he had affected. If they hated him, he was fulfilling his role perfectly… and that meant they could stay sane and do their parts as he did his. Less people would be lost to insanity… and the group would grow stronger.

Everyone had a role in their system – an oasis was established, with Ragatha as the heart of the oasis; their very own water spring.

But when a new invading creature bursts into the oasis with no knowledge of this system, their system would be doomed. Pomni happened to be that invader. Everyone could collectively, yet silently agree that she was acting by her own careless devices since she arrived a few hours ago. She greedily soaked up their water source and left it barren, dry, and suffering.

Granted, Pomni didn’t know how their oasis worked, but it didn’t change the fact that she disrupted everything by showing up. She would have to catch on quickly and prove herself useful, before anyone else loses their minds.

They lost one of their own already… and they almost lost their beloved Ragatha; Jax’s equal and opposite.

Their precious water source.

Snakes offered venom, while water springs offered hope of life. They all desperately needed Ragatha to survive. While most would assume her to be fine after being fixed by Caine, Jax knew better than that. He saw her reluctantly stand aside Pomni to support her – beautifully acting within her role as she always would, but it was clear that Pomni still didn’t understand how scarce the water was by then. Rags was spread thin enough by handling the extra stress and enduring the continuous pain of being corrupted by the abstraction, but that didn’t stop Pomni from practically having a mental breakdown at the dinner table.

Jax saw that coming from a mile away. Thank goodness he silently took the open seat next to Pomni, silent in his insistence that the ragdoll should keep her distance for the time being. He’d give anything to destroy the little jester for abusing his doll. Ragatha was acting perfectly normal at the time – her masked smile perfectly set on her face – until it was time for them all to retire to their respective bedrooms.

Jax wished that he would’ve just dragged her after him when he booked it from the abstraction earlier today. Pomni would have been the perfect distraction for them to escape and get Caine.

He stood at Ragatha’s door after dinner.

Jax made a point to ring the doorbell this time. Usually, he’d just pluck out a key and saunter in like he owns the place, but with what happened today, he’d make an exception. Everyone has their limit – and someone has already reached their limit today. They couldn’t risk losing another one. Especially not Raggs. They all really needed her.

When she didn’t open, he tried the bell again. Nothing.

Well, time for the key, then.

He shoved his hand down his front pocket and fished out the doll’s room key. The bunny didn’t waste time opening the door. He wanted to see what state the girl was in, despite dreading the possibility of finding an abstracted amalgamation on the other side.

Silence.

Not even a creak was heard from the hallway. The room was lit up as it usually was, so that was a good sign, at least. Jax couldn’t see an obvious black body of eyes – another win. But where was Ragatha? He did see her walk into her room, so she had to be here.

He walked around, keeping his cool, casual composure fixed, despite no one being around. It was effortless at this point. It became a way for him to focus on what he could control in this crazy digital prison; himself.

He couldn’t, however, control his ability to spot a blasted ragdoll, it would seem. He scanned the room again, until his eyes fell on her ¾ bed. Could she-?

The bunny rolled his eyes at himself as he lowered himself onto his knees – maybe he could convince himself that he was not phased by the situation. Bending down, he peered beneath the bed frame.

Jax sighed in exasperation. Or was it relief? Both?

Ragatha was in the state she was in before retiring to her room. No gliching, no extra eyes.

Just Raggs.

She didn’t look good, though. The doll was curled up beneath her bed and blindly staring ahead of her. It didn’t look like she was breathing – not that they needed to anyway, but it was uncanny to see Rags like this. She was their voice of reason. She was a water spring in this desert.

If she dried up, their desert would be doomed.

Jax silently stood up and walked back to the open door again. No need to make a fuss over this. He took hold of the door handle and shut it from the inside. Key in hand, he locked the door and nodded to himself. Ragatha needed a raincloud… and he’d have to fill that role now. It’s the least he could do after leaving her to fend for herself when they found the abstraction today.

Why didn’t she run with him? Why did think she could fix someone whose mind was broken beyond repair? Why didn’t she just leave the rookie as bait?

Because that just wasn’t her role, was it?

If it weren’t for her nature – her role – none of them would have made it this far. It dawned on Jax, once again, how close they were to losing their beloved doll. How close they were to being stuck with an invader who knew nothing about what it took to survive in this hell hole.

Enough.

Back to the bed, crouched down and silent Jax positioned himself to lay down and simply look over the red head from a relative distance. There was enough space for the doll to crawl out of hiding without having to touch him. The bunny still hadn’t said a word. It’d be stupid to talk, and he didn’t feel like making the effort. He just wanted things back to normal again – well… as normal as it could have been.

Now Kaufmo is gone, a new creature was invading their home, tearing it up from the roots and tipping the delicate scales of the balance they worked very hard on creating. All because of a lunatic ringmaster having the bright idea of creating a fake exit-door. Someone better get that jester on a tight leash to get her to fall in line, like the rest of them were forced to.

He knew he, for one, wouldn’t mind roughing her up a bit. It was his specialty – his role. The parasite. The menace. The instigator.

Evil with an actual target.

The sound of shifting and movement had Jax blink out of his own head. Ragatha was slowly and dumbly making her way out from under her bed. Her eyes were still fogged over and her face still eerily blank, but at least she came out of hiding out of her own will. In a matter of seconds, the doll was out from her hiding place and settled on the floor beside Jax. She was staring him in the eyes now, waiting for the bunny, silently pleading.

Jax hadn’t had his aloof-douchebag persona engaged since he locked Ragatha’s door. She didn’t need a menace now – she needed to be grounded; revitalized. She needed a dark raincloud to fill up the water spring they all needed.

He didn’t look forward to what needed to be done, but he wouldn’t allow anyone else to do it.

He moved to stand up and held out a hand to help her up. He took note of the way her hand was shaking when she took his and gently guided her to the bed. The red head was the first to sit, then moved to lay down on her back and numbly stare at the ceiling. With a deep breath, Jax gathered himself mentally and cautiously crept onto the bed and positioned himself to briefly hover over her, before lowering his full weight onto Ragatha.

He had his head in the crook of her neck, on the left shoulder with his ears folding back to floppily droop to his upper back… with his left hand resting on the opposite shoulder. His body, although slim, enveloped hers and caused her to sink slightly into the mattress. His legs just loosely laid over and aside the ragdoll’s. It was more important to have his weight resting on her torso anyway.

For a long moment, they just motionlessly laid on the bed like this. To an outsider, it would look like they fell asleep atop each other or simply cuddled together very closely.

An outsider wouldn’t see that Jax was focused on the slow process of Ragatha’s body relaxing under his weight and her breathing slowing to a regular rhythm. An outsider wouldn’t have known that this was hardly the first time they’d done this – how long it took Jax to learn that this make-shift deep-pressure therapy was the most effective grounding technique for Ragatha to collect herself again.

They wouldn’t understand that Jax didn’t do this out of wanting to, but rather out of necessity.

Jax didn’t like to be touched. If anything, he was very capable of merely tolerating it. Everyone in the circus knew that he was touch-averse; some even used that as leverage to mess with him if the situation called for it. It was a necessity that he endured to keep his doll sane – to keep anyone of importance here in the circus, sane. Their whole lives revolved around mental strength. It was all just a matter of staying sane.

The laid there for what felt like a lifetime.

Slight shifting beside Jax alerted him that the doll was moving her arms – previously stiffly pinned to her sides. This was good, she felt comfortable enough to move around now!

Her left hand gently snaked up to the bunny’s head and slowly, softly petted his ears in a longitude motion. Her right hand wrapped loosely around his middle-to-lower back – motionless. This was bad, Jax did not like being touched like that!

While he was fine with the rhythmic touches of Ragatha’s left hand, he despised the idle position of the right hand resting on his back. He couldn’t prevent himself from tensing up in discomfort.

Bad touch, bad touch, bad-

This caused the ragdoll to tense up and rip her hands off him as if he burned her.

Oh no you don’t! We are not starting all over again.

He slowly pulls away and propped up unto his elbows, hearing Ragatha’s breathing pick up as she presumably spirals into her own thoughts on how he was going to leave her like this. Jax cast down a disapproving look. He broke his gaze to unceremoniously take her right hand – now clutched close to her chest – and intertwined their fingers, before resting his head on her left shoulder once again. He close eyes as he use his free hand to put her left hand on his head again, waiting for her to resume her petting.

Good touch; this was a good touch. Please understand.

Thankfully, Ragatha relaxed… and continued her previous slow, rhythmic motions. Slowly, Jax felt her relax once again and he indulged into her need for touch by stroking his thumb over hers occasionally.

Soon they fell into a rhythm; Ragatha would pet Jax’s ears 3 times, then it was his turn to stroke his thumb over hers. Then they would repeat the routine. This also helped Jax cope with the touching; the routine. The rhythm.

It felt like hours ticked by as the two just practiced their little unspoken routine. Jax grew used to it after a while, almost forgetting that his new mattress was now a sentient ragdoll and completely tuned into their rhythm of touches.

Pet… pet… pet… thumb. Pet… pet… pet… thumb.

Jax didn’t like touch, but he loved routine.

The doll and the bunny’s time together, once nothing but grounding techniques, grew to become an intimate exchange of touches and caresses – all wrapped in a routine, like a dance. Jax felt warm and fuzzy inside; for once he basked in the moment of enjoying his dolly. He lazily wondered if Ragatha felt the same. He shifted his head to look at her.

The doll looked down to meet his eyes when she felt him move. He could swear that she looked at peace, basking in the bliss of their closeness. For some reason, she looked like an angel. They all saw her as their angel. Had he successfully pinned a heavenly body beneath him?

Her gentle, longing gaze made a kaleidoscope of butterflies erupt from his core.

This wasn’t the first time this feeling invaded his being when they did this – as rare as these moments were. He wasn’t sure when he started experiencing such feelings during these rare encounters, but as months crawled by, he felt drawn to his dolly more and more. Based on how she looked at him, he could only assume that she felt it too.

Something so foreign, yet so familiar.

He didn’t fail to spot the warmth rushing to her cheeks when their eyes met. She looked so ethereal beneath him, especially when her breathing picked up under his firm gaze. Her lips were parted, and her eyes were lidded. This time, it wasn’t fear or overstimulation. It was anticipation. It was desire.

Jax internally flinched at the tingly sensation when he smoothly burrowed his face into Ragatha’s neck. She shivered at the breath he let out against her skin. He could tolerate the touching a little longer, as long as he could see her crumble again. He wanted to see her walls crumble again.

“Jax- ”

Oh… he had to hear her again. More clearly, next time. This was torture, but she made him into her own personal masochist. His skin crawled at the sensation of her skin shivering against him, but he needed more. He could take it. Just a little longer – he just had to stand these sensations a little longer. He looked at her again.

Ragatha was reverting to a helpless puddle. The doll’s arms were gripping at the covers beneath her, successfully eliminating the bother of excessive contact that he despised. Jax didn’t know if she did it with that intension or without thinking, but either way, he was thankful. He really wanted more.

Why couldn’t he just be normal?

He lifted onto his elbows again and – dare one say – lovingly looked at her face. She could only peek back at him, breathing slightly faster than usual. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw her shaky hand rise from the covers and hover next to his cheek, while her eyes pleaded for his mercy. He hesitated but bit the bullet to comply; leaning into her touch while desperately trying to ignore the odd tingles. Jax convinced himself to kiss her wrist and drowned himself in the pleasure of hearing her softly call his name.

He only heard it because he was listening so closely for it.

Yes.

DING DONG

In a flash, Jax braced himself up into a crouch and slammed his foot down with a mighty THUMP upon hearing Ragatha startle into a fit when the doorbell chimed. His hair on his back stood on end and his claws ripped through his gloves, leaving gouges in the covers beside the doll’s head.

His precious doll was disturbed again!

He heard her soft cry of fear and his blood boiled with a thirst for vengeance. Only he can make her cry out. He’ll skin the soul that dared to-

“Ragatha…? Can we talk?”

That DAMN jester!

“Jax?” a quiet voice trembled in his ear from beneath him. Jax stopped glaring at the door to softly glance down and see what his little doll wanted.

“Don’t…” Raggs sounded like she was begging while being held at gunpoint, whispering despite their rooms being enchanted to not hear anything from the outside when the door is shut.

Jax wouldn’t dare let that thing inside. Raggs was upset enough as it is.

“Look, I know it probably wouldn’t make a difference…” Pomni’s voice came from the other side door again, “…but I’m so sorry for running off… Again… I saw that exit and I had to see if it was real. No one else believed me and I started to think that I was losing my mind. You understand that, right?”

Jax placed both his hands down on the mattress, blocking the doll’s view of the door as if it could block the sound of the voice from reaching the Raggs’s ears, still hovering over her. He knew that his dolly didn’t want to hear anything the harlequin had to say now – he had half the mind to get up and bash the newbie’s head in.

“I hope we can talk about this some time. You are probably tired after such a long, crazy day.” Pomni’s voice died down near the end, “It feels like you’re the only good person here.”

She really is, but she’s too good for you. Selfish leech.

Jax looks down to the girl, still stiff as a board beneath him. Her eye was shiny with the swell of tears. He melted at the sight – anger simmering down. She was just a sweet little rag dolly, she didn’t deserve any of this, but oh, he was so happy to see Ragatha finally emote something again. She was OK again. Their water source was filled once again, now threatening to spill over. He’d happily welcome the flood.

He needed her.

The sound of fading footsteps causes Jax to rip his eyes to the direction of the door. His hearing was better than the dolls, probably thanks to being a rabbit.

Good riddance.

Ragatha seemed to relax at the sight of Jax deflating his stance, reading that Pomni probably left her door. She hesitantly reached up to cup Jax’s cheek. Jax followed her hand’s motion and scoffed, cringing at the invasion. He’s had enough touching for a week. It sucked to leave his doll so soon after being distressed again, but he couldn’t bring himself stand any more of this. He quickly got up and smoothed out his clothes, but not without missing the flash of hurt in the doll’s eyes. He felt bad, but he had to be strong with the new girl around, so straining himself now would only make matters worse and mess up the whole system.

Still, seemingly bored, Jax stood in his spot while rocking on his heels and looking off to the side, only sparing her a glance. Raggs sat up by then. She looked a little worse for wear, but it’s an improvement from hiding under her bed. She rested her elbows on her knees with her chin in her hands. The hurt in her eyes was long gone, but she looked tired. Poor thing, Jax shared the sentiment.

He felt her eye bore into the side of his face and the bunny couldn’t stop himself before he rolled his eyes and looked to her again. He could’ve choked on air when he saw her face, but the years of steeling his demeanor left no trace of his inner turmoil.

Raggs sported that longing look in her eyes again.

They were so close this time – closer than they’ve ever been before. Each time they spent together on nights like this, although few and far between, they grew closer… and hungrier. Neither understood what it was, but they never had the chance to just collapse into it, tonight being the closest to that.

But there was always something, right?

Jax allowed gaze to soften. His doll offered a small smile that almost ripped his heart out if his chest. It was drenched with melancholy of something she knew they could never have.

Because their roles in their little ecosystem didn’t allow for it to ever be theirs. It would never work.

This was survival.

The rabbit steeled his demeanor once again, but this time, his doll’s face didn’t fall.

Good, as it should be.

Jax walked to the door and fished out the key from his front pocket. He didn’t bother looking back. If he did, he wouldn’t have the will to leave anymore. When he opened the door, though, he couldn’t help but mumble out teasingly.

“See yah later, Doll~!”

He wished that he could shout his affections for her out into the void instead.

“I’m not your doll.” Ragatha responded, voice still wobbly and tired, but perky regardless. She knew just how to indulge him.

Yes, she is… she always will be.

Fanart: Evil with a target

Oasis: TADC AU list

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zenkindoflove · 1 month

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So I wrote this post about Lucien deserving Elain in a fit of anger. And now I'm back with more anger because guess what guys.

Elain ALSO deserves Lucien.

I see it all the time. "Lucien deserves someone who actually likes him." Followed by bashing Elain as if she is the worst person ever and doesn't deserve love.

Please stop pretending like you're making this argument because you care about Lucien. Lucien deserves his soulmate. He deserves to have that HEA with the one person who he has a soul to soul connection with. Don't throw side characters and randos at him that do not make sense at all to his narrative or how SJM had canonized how mating bonds work. Do you honestly think Lucien is going to care that some other female wants him???? Do you even get that Lucien can easily get any female in Prythian and has gotten many of them but none of them really mattered to him the way Elain matters to him.

Listen to his words. He tells everyone he's a mated male now for a reason. He is loyal to Elain regardless of whether she is showing him desire.

Elain is a GOOD person. Just like Lucien. She is kind and thoughtful. Careful and empathetic. Strong and resilient. Elain loves with her whole heart. She loved her father when no one else could see as worthy. Not even her sisters. She loved Graysen faithfully even if he was a scumbag who didn't deserve her devotion. So, I think Elain knows what it means to love, and she is not ready to give away her heart so fast again. Especially not to someone who can see all of her.

Yes, it's hard that she isn't ready to love Lucien yet. But girl has been THROUGH it. She has been struggling with a loss of her autonomy, her future, and her identity. And all of that with the pressure of a soulmate who is a stranger. None of you can say you'd handle it perfectly either.

And guess what. Lucien, my brave and soulful man, understands that. He is the only one who acknowledged when Elain was severely depressed in ACOWAR that she suffered a trauma. He is the only one that gives her space rather than pushing his opinions or desires of what he wants her to be onto her. He knows she isn't ready. And he's waiting. Giving her space but also being present enough so she knows he is there when she is ready to get to know him. That is all he has wanted.

Jumping to the assumption that Elain "doesn't even like him" is bold. You don't know Elain's thoughts. You don't know how she really feels about Lucien as a person. We have some inklings about what she thought about the bond right after her terrible breakup that she was still mourning. We know that before Lucien left on a dangerous mission, she took a half step as if to stop him. We know that she has shown genuine care over whether he's hurt. And we know that she feels the connection to him (I can hear your heart beating through the stone) and that is never going away. We know that Elain is affected by Lucien and it's not a leap to think that she feels as drawn to him as he is to her, she just has to be ready. And maybe Elain can tell Lucien is a good male who she doesn't want to inflict her messiness on just yet. Maybe she knows to jump in too fast wouldn't be fair to him either.

So many denigrate Elain and say she is boring, selfish, or mean all because she is struggling through a tough time in her life. And even in that struggle, she still maintains her kindness. She still searches for hope. She still wants to better herself. Which sounds a lot like that mate of hers. And when she is ready to fall in love again, she will get exactly the man that she deserves. Lucien Vanserra. Because Elain deserves the unconditional love that he has to offer. Finally someone will return it back to her.

#elain archeron #pro elain #elucien #pro elucien #elain x lucien #lucien vanserra #when i say dont throw side characters at Lucien #ship who you want to ship #fanon ships are valid #what im meaning is insisting on these fanon fantasies as canonical endgame #ive shipped many fanon ships before #and trust you dont need to twist and turn the canon for your ship #just saying

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burst-of-iridescent · 9 months

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I saw your response to the previous anon. even if we assume that you are right about KA (you are wrong, but I don't see the point in arguing with you), there has never been such a lot of negative interaction between Aang and Katara as there was between Zuko and Katara. Katara threatened Zuko with death and was literally going to leave him to die (and Zuko remained alive only thanks to Aang), and Zuko betrayed her trust and literally said that he did not understand why she was angry with him (although Katara explained to him the reason for her anger a minute ago) and then, according to Katara herself, forced her feeling that she has no choice. I hope you understand that "a partner who respects her, admires her, supports her, cares for her, and loves her just as much as she does him" is pure fanon, and none of this is in the canon (neither in the show itself, nor in post-canonical things)? it's normal that you ship zutaru, and you can read and write as many fanfictions as you want, where Zuko loves Katara, and Katara loves Zuko, but the truth is that the canonical Zuko, the real Zuko, was never in love with Katara, he chose another girl for himself, and had a child with another gir (Mai actually) whether you like it or not. Just like Katara chose another man for herself and lived with him for many decades, gave birth to three children from him. You may think they made a mistake, but it was their choice, and canonically they never considered each other as likely partners. It's weird that you can't understand in any way that canonically there was never anything between Zuko and Katara.

what a pity that avatar: the last airbender ended ten minutes into the southern raiders episode. what a pity that katara never told zuko that she was ready to forgive him, that she never hugged him tenderly, that she never joked with him, supported him, comforted him, and agreed to fight by his side. what a pity that zuko never took a lightning bolt to the heart to protect her, and that katara looked shocked and terrified at the sight. what a pity that she never yelled his name, forgot the incredible danger she was in and tried to run to him and help him. what a pity that katara never took down a firebending prodigy at the height of her power and then rushed to zuko's side and cried when she was able to heal him.

what a pity that they didn't end the show with a beautiful, strong, intimate friendship that provided the perfect foundation for a romance to develop.

i'm not sure if you're aware that fictional characters usually undergo something called development, where they adopt different attitudes, behaviours and feelings from those they held before. i love that katara goes from threatening zuko to fighting for zuko tooth and nail in the finale, because that is called change, and growth, things that are generally considered good and necessary within character arcs and relationships - but i understand you may not be familiar with those concepts in romance, given that you ship kat.aang.

literally said that he did not understand why she was angry with him (although Katara explained to him the reason for her anger a minute ago) and then, according to Katara herself, forced her feeling that she has no choice

it is usually good to provide this little thing called evidence when carrying out analysis.

that is hard to do, of course, when you have none.

You may think they made a mistake, but it was their choice and canonically they never considered each other as likely partners. It's weird that you can't understand in any way that canonically there was never anything between Zuko and Katara.

in case you don't know, zuko and katara aren't real people with free will. their choices are made for them by writers whose job is to make those choices make sense within the scope of their own narrative arcs, and fit the themes and messages of the show. when they fail at that job, audiences are perfectly within their rights to recognize that and examine what could have been done differently.

just because something is canon, that doesn't mean it's immune to criticism. of course i know katara canonically got married to a.ang, and that zuko chose a different partner. that doesn't automatically mean those are the right narrative decisions because - and this may come as a shock to you - engaging critically with media also means looking at the ways in which it fell short and how it could have done better, and the romances in atla are by and large one of its major shortcomings.

#zutara #anti kataang

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theabyssgazesalsointoyou · 8 months

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an incredibly personal rating of bmc ship names (ship names only, regardless of my feelings toward the ship itself)

boyf riends - 6/10. cute but so hard to tag. i think i saw backpack boyfriends being used back in the day that's a cute alternative

stagedorks - 9/10. a little basic but a classic it's cute

spicy bis - -5/10. this one is awful. makes zero sense, sounds atrocious, jeremy isn't even canonically bi. the other alternatives were even worse (i don't even wanna say it) but why use any of them when richjer exists

deere - 9/10. i fucking love it it's just their last names smashed together but it's fucking deere (dillinjer is a 4/10 because pronunciation-wise it's too similar to dillinger)

puppy love - 5/10. cute but straying a little into the tired 'jeremy is a furry' joke imo

expensive headphones - 3/10. idk it's just lazy and it's a common enough phrase for me to get violent whiplash when i encounter it in the wild

pins and patches - 5/10. super super cute but soooo niche like how is one supposed to figure this out???

upstage - 10/10. makes complete sense, simple and cute. love it.

playride - 10/10. basically same as above

dramatical theatre - 3/10. it took me so long to get this especially since none of chloe's other ship names involve the word 'drama' (to my knowledge at least??)

cinnabun - 0/10. none of y'all really gave a shit about jenna or christine and it shows

richjake - 10/10. look idc if it's 'boring' it's hilarious that these two out of all the characters got the most basic-ass shipname so ic of them (choosing to ignore arson bros which is a solid 0/10!)

arsonberry - -10/10. including all its other variants like fucking. hot dog. the only acceptable one is richbrooke. what's wrong with richbrooke anyway why are we not using that??

pupgrade - 2/10. just my personal opinion. like c'mon where's the effort

royal pains - 10/10. absolutely immaculate, captures their vibes perfectly. yes they are royal pains indeed.

pinkberry - 6/10. really cute and simple, fits the vibes but it's also the name of an already existing brand it's so hard to search for

iced tea - 7/10. there is a slight problem with searching but it's so clever and cute it makes up for it

gossip gals - 2/10. i always thought this would be more fitting for the smartphone hour girls' polyship??

boardwalk boys - 4/10. makes no sense but eh sounds cool lol

lesbihonest - -10/10. where do i even begin what does lesbihonest even have to do with the bmc girls. none of them are canonically lesbian. god i hate it so much this fandom really didn't care about the girls did they. if you named the boys' polyship boardwalk boys bc new jersey is famous for boardwalks or whatever then obviously the girls' polyship should be garden girls. bc y'know. nj the garden state?? it's literally right there oh my god i'm so salty about this one and i don't even ship it

#bmc #be more chill

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the-fandom-crossroads · 5 months

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Help Pick Furina's Character Song!

I am currently making a Playlist of every Genshin character being represented by one song. Some of them I still can't find a song for. List of missing characters post Here!

But Some character's like Furina have TOO Many Songs so I can't decide on just one. So here's a poll to help me decide which song should represent Furina in the playlist!

If you have a suggestion I'd love to hear about it in the comments or tags!

This is the basics of what I look for when trying to see if a song fits the character. The song should fit their personality, but also their drive/inspiration for doing what they do. Basically why Celestia picked them to get a vision. In the case of Show Yourself it would be channeling the Moment of getting Furina's Vision.

A longer breakdown of why I think each song fits Furina under the read more! Includes minor 4.2 Spoilers!

The first 3 were actually picked before 4.2 came out. But the added context to Furina's Story in 4.2 built more depth into them that they didn't originally have. Regardless nearly every line of these songs fits Furina so don't be surprised by the wall of lyrics. It's what makes picking so hard!

Castle

"Sick of all these people talking, sick of all this noise. Tired of all these cameras flashing, sick of being poised."

"Already choking on my pride, so there's no use crying about it.

I'm headed straight for the castle. They wanna make me their queen. And there's an old man sitting on the throne. That's saying that I probably shouldn't be so mean."

This was the first song picked out for her back during 4.0. It perfectly describes the Mask personality Furina wear's for the roll of Hydro Archon along with hinting at the cracks. It really fits Furina's vibes in the beginning and the confidence she shows. But it doesn't go deeper than that and it doesn't hint at Focalors involvement in anyway.

It's mostly still on the list because it was the first and because Furina's character trailer just is this song. Like I could use those clips for an AMV of this song and it would fit without changing any context.

Little Talks

"There's an old voice in my head. That's holding me back.

Well, tell her that I miss our little talks.

Soon it will be over and buried with our past."

"You're gone, gone, gone away. I watched you disappear. All that's left is a ghost of you.

Now we're torn, torn, torn apart. There's nothing we can do. Just let me go, we'll meet again soon.

Now wait, wait, wait for me, please hang around. I'll see you when I fall asleep.

Don't listen to a word I say (Hey) The screams all sound the same (Hey)"

So I also picked this one back during 4.0, but it has only grown to fit more as we have learned more. There are two lead singers for this song. The lady and her Lyrics (italics) are Furina, while the man (Bold) is Neuvillette. By the end they are both singing the lyrics.

The "old voice" originally was just Furina's internalized anxiety we saw during Lyney's trial. But it now can also fit the warnings of Focalors and how that held Furina back from trusting in Neuvillette to be able to help her.

The "I watched you disappear" would also be Neuvillette witnessing Focalors death. While "is a ghost of you" is the depression spell Furina clearly fell into between the Archon quest and her character quest where she pulled away from everyone.

"the screams" would be from the centuries of trials they oversaw together. Childe was not the first to refuse to go quietly. Furina acted like it was all entertainment. But some of those guilty verdicts would stick with anyone and to have collected hundreds if not thousands of those sorts of verdicts over the years. "The screams of the damned" as they say. Will probably haunt both of them for the rest of their existence.

The State of Dreaming

"My life is a play, is a play, is a play."

"If only you knew my dear. How I live my life in fear. If only you knew my dear. How I know my time is near

Yeah, I've been living in the state of dreaming. Living in a make-believe land. Living in the state of dreaming, of dreaming, of dreaming"

Now this song is currently already on the playlist for Nilou because of 3.0 and the Samsara dream. But Furina's been acting the roll of Archon for centuries now. Her life is literally a play. But the songs lyrics only repeat this phrase. So it doesn't cover other parts of Furina's story.

Show Yourself

"Something is familiar. Like a dream I can reach. But not quite hold. I can sense you there. Like a friend I’ve always known. I’m arriving. And it feels like I am home."

"Where the Northwind meets the sea. There's a River. Full of Memories."

"Step into your power. Grow yourself into something new.

You are the one you’ve been waiting for

All of my life. All of your life."

So this one only got added to the list after learning about Focalors at the end of 4.2 and now I can't unsee it. Fontaine's water holding memories is literally pulled from Frozen II. Like that was not a common thing before Frozen II.

Furina her whole life was waiting for Focalors the "real" Hydro Archon to show up and take over as Archon. But Furina had always been Fontaine's real Hydro Archon. She was enough. I like to image the end being Furina getting bestowed with her vision.

The only thing causing me to pause with Show Yourself is that, like with State of Dreaming, the song is already being used by another character. Xingqui's VA sang a cover of this song and that cover is part of the reason I even thought to make this playlist. So it has a place of being one of the first songs picked for the character.

Of course if it sweeps the poll I'll swap it in for Furina. That's why we're doing this poll because I can't decide on my own.

---

So yeah those are the songs. I feel like I'd probably find a 5th option if I looked at Christian Songs, so I'm specifically not doing that. But if you think of one and you feel like it fits better than these feel free to share it!

Thank you for reading if you got all the way down here!

#genshin impact #genshin #furina #polls #focalors #genshin polls #hydro archon #genshin spoilers #douglimemes #neuvillette #genshin 4.2

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doomalade · 3 months

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Man, I have so many ideas of what Hazbin Hotel could do but because, I'm a fan, they're probably not going to do it. Like what they could of done with Alastor instead of serial killer cannibal that practices Voodoo. Keep the voodoo based powers, take out the cannibal part because that's a bad view for voodooism, and make the serial killer thing more of a one time mass murder. He died in early 1900's so, let's say a lynch mob murdered someone he cared about and he made a deal with Lilith or some other demon to "Kill them all with all of the power the rings of hell had to offer." Which would explain why Alastor is the way he is and why he's so powerful. It would still work too because Voodooism has some ties to catholicism, more commonly in Lousiana though, which is where Alastor is from so it wouldn't be too much off an issue. It would also make him more of a morally grey character that we can understand. Making him fit perfectly with the Voodoo culture, because while Voodooism isn't sacrificing babies and cannibalism. There are still people that use Voodoo for things like hexing and not so great stuff. Just like any other culture. It would also provide good reasons as to why he thinks he's untouchable in hell, even when it comes to Lucifer!

Lucifer becoming like a therapist or counselor for the Hazbin Hotel. I don't go to therapy, but even I know this is such a missed opportunity here. He knows what it's like to fall from grace to literally rock bottom so, wouldn't it make more sense if for him to tend to his subjects, unlike how his Dad, and help them achieve something he could never have? I mean, I like the whole "confiding your feelings into your local Bartender" thing Husk has, and that can still be a thing with Lucifier still helping out in the way I mentioned. Not only would it boost his confidence in realizing he can actually make impact on people if he was given a chance, but it would also show Charlie the lengths of which her Dad actually does cares.

I do agree with the critical side that Valentino should've been taken care of by now. Or at least, the planning for it to be. They even had the set up with Charlie finding out the extent of Angel's abuse. Hell, you can keep everything somewhat the same, but at the end. Have Charlie sneak back to the club and straight up kill him, showing off how much of a threat the daughter of hell can be. You've got the motive of Valentino was getting in the way of her plans/ Angel Dust's recovery, and that she's a good person, right there! Hell, it doesn't even have to be Charlie, Vaggie could've done it because of how much the plan means to Charlie or Charlie could've even sent Alastor to do it for her! I can even see Husk making a comment to Charlie about it. Not to mention, the drama of Angel finding out and causing a possible rift between Charlie and Angel, because Angel is well Angel.

And lastly, Charlie making a deal with Alastor. Even since it was mentioned in the pilot for her not to make a deal with Alastor, because of who he is. I just want to see what would happen, because they made it a big deal and I thought it could be a plot point. Some many possibilities, but I've made this long enough so, I'm just going to leave it here.

Okay woah this is a long one uhhh

Alright, starting first, I love the starting ideas for Alastor. I know that in his comic which I'm pretty damn certain is canon/official, it shows that it irks him like none other when "those of fairer means" are targetted and pushed around. Maybe someone who was like a little sister to him faces the injustices of 1920s racism, with him calling on Lilith, knowingly or unknowingly. Now his soul is forever bound to the will of Lilith, even in Hell. The reason for his unbound power comes from her. And that is why he only appears when Charlie announces the Hazbin Hotel. He plays it off as if he just wants to mess with sinners and watch them fail (which he kinda does want to cause his views of other people to be skewed forever after losing his lil sis figure person). And I know what you're thinking. This is fridging. Yes. Yes, it is. However, I do think that it is possible to bring back that character by having her in Heaven or something and give her a distinct character outside of Alastor. Just doing something to not be a classic Viv writing women moment lol. Anyway, the point is that Alastor truly is at the Hotel because of Lilith but slowly grows to find Charlie to remind him of the person he lost.

As for Lucifer being a therapist? Ehhhhhhhhhh. You gotta remember that he is the embodiment of pride so I do doubt that he would be much of a therapist. However, saying that, it would be interesting to see how his pride could not only just be for himself but his pride in Charlie. Maybe even combining the two. Wanting to take pride in Charlie and be a good father like he didn’t get but also wanting to still stick it to God by having Hell still be his domain of eternal punishment and the kingdom that he had built. Overall could have some extra depth with that.

I don’t really get the “Angel is Angel” comment tbh. I do think that more slowly setting up and properly exploring Val’s abuse of Angel across episodes and even seasons and have Charlie’s little moment of snapping as the peak/climax of it.

And the deal being made with Alastor is more so able to be explored with Husk than Charlie. Charlie was able to use her higher status to avoid a deal, Husk didn’t have that luxury. Would be a way to explore more class struggles in Hell.

I didn’t really get into as much detail as I wanted to but like, yeah

Idk

#doom.txt #hazbin hotel critical

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the-gayest-show · 3 months

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It's a little disheartening to see people disrespecting Molly's decision to sacrifice what she had with Scratch in order for him to have his life back. I’m not sure if detractors of the series finale truly understand Molly as a character.

Literally the thoughts in my head! I'd seen a couple of those posts and thought to reply to them somehow but couldn't figure out a way to get to all of them, so this ask should do it...

The message has been there the whole time. In Libby's exposition, she mentions the quote from maya angelou: "What is a fear of living? It's being preeminently afraid of dying. It is not doing what you came here to do, out of timidity and spinelessness. The antidote is to take full responsibility for yourself - for the time you take up and the space you occupy. If you don't know what you're here to do, then just do some good." I believe this sums up scratch's arc and molly's (i will get into it later) to a T. He shut himself off from the world for years before molly met him, and was very afraid to take risks or do anything new (this is seen in episodes like All Systems No, where the whole point is scratch literally saying no to things and molly always saying yes to things). And probably other s1 and s2 episodes but none are actively on my mind rn. Him leaving to take risks was practically necessary, living out his life IS necessary because he couldn't bring himself to do so before but now he can.

Scratch needed to do something. We find out he's a wraith and then what? He can't just live outside his body knowing full well that he has a body and knows of its existence! I guess the main point argued was that he didn't have to be scrubbed of memory... I'd like to bring up a tweet that involves Bill's reasoning for choosing this path https://twitter.com/InevitablyBill/status/1746595852138008750 (it's a thread btw, take a read, i love it so much!). At the end of the day, imagine this: he goes into his human body, stays with the mcgees... maybe he meets adia... but isn't the whole point that he knew adia for years, even as a child, and wanted to come with her, but his anxiety/depression always got the better of him? Isn't the whole point that he needs to leave, he can't stay forever! You could argue "he fit so perfectly fine with the mcgees! it makes their friendship pointless like this!" but the real question of the day is: why do you think he isn't a mcgee anymore? just because he forgot them (define forgot since he subconsciously remembers stuff)? family is forever. It's in your soul! I've met some wonderful people (adults and kids alike) that have semi-made me into the person I am today. Chosen family comes and goes, sometimes it stays a while and then leaves. I still feel sad for losing touch with people I thought would stay forever...But that DOES NOT make it any less worthwhile. It's what molly said: "If you don't remember me, at least you'll remember that." The things he learnt weren't erased. He didn't "forget them", not really. Because if he did he'd be right back at square one, being all "I don't need friends!" and "Being good's for suckers!" and now that would make everything pointless.

Molly has trauma. Valid point, but I raise you this: She chose to let go. She fully understood the risks even as scratch pointed them out, and despite everything. Just as easily she could've said that it was ok and he didn't have to go back, but she didn't.

This show is heavily grounded in reality for something based on silly ghosty adventures. Why can't someone leave? Because of plot? Shit happens anyways, trauma or no trauma, and if anything, molly isn't alone. Molly originally clung to scratch as a forever friend because she didn't want to be alone. She isn't alone now though! She's got Libby! She's got Ollie and June! She's got Geoff as well (technically), so she's not completely done for!

#posts #asks #tgamm #i kinda procrastinated posting this lollll #if i forgot a point i'll edit the OG post but anyways i cant let this mf sit in the drafts for like 5 days

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tacagen · 9 months

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can you elaborate on the mordetwi thing xD

post in question

thing in question

ok so what IS the mordetwi meme? two characters from two different settings who are heartbroken but still love each other or whatever but actually, in reality/canon they are never going to meet or even find out about each other, right? thawne sincerely believes that barry feels about him the same way he feels about barry, both in love and hatred. he believes that barry spends the same amount of time thinking about him (and/or tries to keep it that way), he believes that barry still Understands all he does and says to him including all the little messages, parallels and implications between the lines. but the actual situation here is barry desperately being 'who TF r u😭' and struggling to process thawne's words (like cmon what the hell was thisss!!

asking what thawne wants right after he explained EXACTLY that(just not quite directly. and tbh the next answer wasnt any better, thats why i think thawne isnt capable of saying a single straightforward thing, especially about his feelings)?? barryyyyyy 😭😭 i mean, its understandable. its probably a defence mechanism since he heard thawne's intentions to adopt him few issues ago. but its still fucking hilarious. i am convinced that every time thawne starts speaking barry has to fight the popping up mental image of crossed out lgbt flag and its white noise in his head to hear and process thawne's words) or being occupied by other things so he ends up missing half the points if not all (such as when thawne showed barry the future with don and dawn, CLEARLY making a point about himself and how barry treated him by that but barry geniunely doesnt care and notice it because his children ending up hating him is a way bigger concern at the moment) and thawne not realising that! thawne's persisting love for barry is never even going to be noticed up until 'the only time' confession, and the whole finish line deal is about barry trying to forget and leave thawne in his life behind, up to intentionally making it so they never meet again and giving up on thinking about him at all because 'thats what thawne would want me to do ❤'. so thawne PERCIEVES his relationship with barry as something two-sided, something where they BOTH suffer rn but still love/understand each other when the reality is. well. none of that and will never be. it exists only in thawne's head, just as mordetwi to its shippers. also the vibe of mouse-drawn ms paint art perfectly fits thawne and his huge speedster self-insert oc statue next to the flash in the museum. AND thawne also canonically has his own Sad Songs to associate with barry and their relationship, i'd say 'hello' by lionel richie specifically is his very own Can We Pretend.

#eobard thawne #professor zoom #reverse flash #the flash #barry allen #eobarry ig?#put some old Thoughts that i havent posted here into words and now im once again thinking about how dumb both barry and eo are #they are so silly. they are a disaster. a complete Mess of an enemyship. i fuckign love them #i wanna get a scientific degree on these fuckers. So badly

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sexybabystevie · 2 years

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Hi! I'm rather new to your channel because I saw your Steve x sarcastic reader HCs and I absolutely LOVED them they were so, so good and you're extremely talented at making HCs and I wanted to add my own into the mix as well.

Rose 🌹 – Red roses symbolize romance, love, and courage. Send me a short description of yourself, including things you enjoy doing, and your desired character to receive a headcanon on how they would confess their feelings to you!

My desired character is going to be a little bit tricky because I have two ST loves of my life but because you just did a Steve one I think I'm going to pick Eddie.

So hi! I'm a little bit more of a socially awkward type, I tend to be really introverted but once you get to know me I'm insanely sunshine-y and happy. I tend to really love reading books especially Stephen King or fantasy novels, Lord Of The Rings has been a huge part of my life since I was in middle school and my parents finally deemed me old enough to watch the live action films with them. I also am obsessed with film, I love rewatching the same movies over and over again. I love studying film, my parents have this running joke where I can figure out the plot of any show and for the most part be right on the money every single time *they're always like wtf are you magical or something every time it happens*. I'm also utterly in love with musical theater cast albums as well and could probably talk for hours endlessly about my favorite ones. My music taste is a really intense mesh of 80's pop, rock, and metal music as of recently. It was actually due to Eddie that I explored metal music and found affection for it in the first place.

Thank you for listening! I'm looking forward to seeing what you come up with

A/n: Thank you so much for the kind words!! I'm so happy you liked my other headcanons! <3 I have to say that this is the first time I'm writing for Eddie, so I hope that I do his character justice! (And that you enjoy!) And, I’m also so sorry this took so long! You caught me right between the time that I was in the process of moving to and starting college, so things have been pretty hectic since then! Thank you so much for your patience!

Eddie Munson Masterlist

Song of Sunshine

Eddie Munson x Sunshine!Reader

Tags and Warnings: No Warnings, Soft!Eddie Munson, Friends to Lovers, Headcanons, Sunshine!Reader, Implied Love Confessions, Pure Fluff, Dorky!Eddie Munson.

Word Count: 3010

He hadn’t meant to, but Eddie Munson had been eyeing you for a while; you were someone of great mystery to him. He was familiar with almost every face in Hawkins High, having dealt with some of them for far too many excruciatingly long years, and yet yours is one that’s on his mind more often as of late. He’s been scanning the lunchroom on the daily, keeping his eyes out for any new recruits for Hellfire, and something in his gut keeps pointing him in your direction, his gaze always lingering a little longer on you than at any of the others.

If he’s being honest with himself, he’s tired of seeing the same painfully mundane, averagely boring kids each and every day – none of them really having that spark, that potential that he’s been searching for – so he’s almost giddy when he sees you sitting alone at a lunch table, nose buried between the pages of The Lord of the Rings. Instantly his mind is ringing, thoughts scattering because he feels like you’re a light at the end of the tunnel – someone with the kind of creativity and interests that would fit in perfectly with Hellfire – and as much as he wants to rush up to you to ask if you’ll join his club, he’s still a little hesitant. There’s an almost shy nature about you, bashful and timid like a wild bunny, and while he finds it endearing, he also is aware enough that he shouldn't startle you and disrupt your peace.

So, instead, he waits. He waits for probably too long, because it’s been about a week and you’ve moved on from The Lord of the Rings and are now reading Stephen King’s Pet Sematary. He thinks it’s certainly an interesting choice – despite his somewhat intimidating style of dress, he certainly isn’t one that handles horror easily. Especially horror novels; he only half paid any attention to a short story that one of his teachers read aloud in one of his many English classes, and he was so disturbed that he nearly didn’t sleep for days afterward. Hell, he can’t lie, there have been D&D sessions that he’s been to that he’s nearly pissed his pants over. To say that his imagination is overactive – so active that reading anything remotely grotesque has him shuddering and feeling nauseous – would be an understatement. Movies, he can somewhat handle, what’s shown on screen is tame compared to what he could conjure with his mind, but anything even mildly scary in book form is a no-go.

That’s part of the reason that he stalls again, face scrunched up in thought as he look intently at you. Something about you has him feeling sheepish; all he can seem to do is marvel and wonder about you from afar. He knows the younger members of Hellfire – Mike, Lucas, and Dustin – have noticed his thoughtfully awkward glances, meaning his time before they undeniably make some witty comments is running thin. He knows he needs to say something before someone catches him staring and wrongfully assumes he’s being a creep like half of the guys in Hawkins High tend to be, but he feels frozen in time, a wistful statue caught in a moment of hesitance.

He’s so preoccupied with his thoughts that he barely registers the bell ringing and the horde of students that meander along to their next class. He’s not fully aware of his surroundings as he stands and takes his plastic tray over to the garbage can, and he’s definitely not on planet Earth as he accidentally steps on the back of his own shoe, sending him pummeling right into the back of someone who seems oddly familiar. Someone who he thinks he should be able to instantly recognize, someone whose mere outline is something he should have engrained into his mind, and all too quickly they’re turning their head and he gets a glimpse of the cover art for Pet Sematary and – oh, shit. It’s you.

This isn’t how he expected to introduce himself to you, with his hands grasping at your shoulders and his face inches away from the back of your neck as he tries not to tumble the two of you into the disgusting cafeteria floor, and he feels both like laughing and cursing himself for his inattentiveness. At the sight of you, however – wide, nervous eyes and bashful smile – Eddie’s completely drawing a blank. You’re looking at him with polite inquisition, questioning and uncertain but in a gentle manner, and he can’t even begin to imagine what’s on your mind. He has a reputation that precedes him; school-proclaimed ‘Freak,’ a thought that almost has him cringing. Normally, when he’s in his element – talking with his friends, managing the Hellfire Club, playing D&D – he doesn’t care less about what some pretentious teenagers think of him, but right now, he can’t deny the rush of anxiety that hits him like a wave on the beach. He’s been thinking of this moment for days, of how to talk to you so that you think he’s cool, and messing it up feels close to that same kind of humiliation that he vowed to throw away when kids relentlessly teased him for being different in the early years of middle school.

Still, he trusts you and your awesome and somewhat intimidating taste in novels, and he must really be caught on the idea of that because he’s suddenly blurting out, “I wouldn’t have ever pinned you as the type for horror.”

He immediately feels regret – who is he to try and say something about your personality? He’s barely been aware of your existence prior to this week and God, he feels really stupid, until your soft voice breaks through to him.

“And you’re not?” It’s quiet in the chaos of the lunchroom, shrouded in shyness but also holds hints of something else, something more familiar. Something he’s used to hearing from his friends, that’s kind and a little playful, and then he realizes that you’re not only trying to make friendly conversation – you’re giving him a chance! – but you’re also attempting a little joke. Albeit, it is a tad awkward with the tone you’re using, but he doesn’t mind at all. He actually thinks it’s quite cute, although he doesn’t spend too much time reeling on that thought.

“Definitely not,” he says, and he finds himself shocked as how easily he’s telling the truth. Most people he knows would have lied, either to have more of something to relate to or to create a false sense of self, but he doesn’t feel the need to. There’s a kindness, a curiosity in your eyes that has him wondering if you’ve been stealing glances at him for days like he has. “I’m more of the adventure-fantasy type guy.”

The words have barely fell from his lips and you’ve already got a low-burning fire behind your eyes, the excitement that he previously saw secondhand now coming forward. He smiles softly to himself; the spark.

“Really?” you ask, voice a little louder, more incredulous. The rays of passion peek behind the clouds of your timidity, and it’s obvious that you find it hard to bite back an agape expression.

“Yeah!” Eddie exclaims, as if his answer is the most obvious thing in the world. Maybe it is. “The only time I ever really cared enough to show for English class was when we read The Lord of the Rings.”

His words are like gasoline, setting your already simmering demeanor aflame, the former introversion suddenly thrown out the window. Your features are bright, eyes glittering with interest. A bright smile overtakes you, covering you like a thinly veiled blanket, and you look so surprised and enthusiastic that you’re standing on your tip toes, bouncing softly on the pads of your feet. Your exhilaration is highly contagious, worse than the time Hawkins closed down the schools a few years ago because over half of the student population had the flu, and Eddie doesn’t fight the way his mouth automatically widens its grin to match yours. As if he could, anyway.

You trudge back to class together, replying to one another with elevated voices that earn a few annoyed glances from your teachers, and while neither of you are even aware of it in the moment, this is the start of something new, unbidden as a rose petal among the concrete, but not unwelcome. When Eddie finally gathers up his courage and asks you if you’ll tag along at the next Hellfire meeting – as a bystander so you can decide if you want to really join in and start making your character next week during your lunch break – you say yes with a smile sweet as honey, and just like that, your futures have been interwoven.

As Eddie expects, your “tryout,” as the younger children of Hellfire have so intelligently deemed it, goes amazingly. You’re already forming a character and their backstory, spewing intricate details to him as he drives you home. He doesn’t even have to ask if you’re coming to their meeting next Saturday; the gleam in your eyes already answered his silent question the moment that the group continued their game. You hadn’t even had all of the context and you were still watching in awe, shoes excitedly tapping against the floor as you “watched the magic happen,” as Eddie said. He wasn’t wrong; your creative and wandering mind easily was captivated the second that he began recalling where exactly the players had left off last time.

You show to Saturday’s meeting, and the following Saturday’s, and you even go to Mike Wheeler’s dusty basement – which everyone made sure to let you know wasn’t mandatory – to retrieve some old character sheets on an early Monday morning during your autumn break. Even Mike, the kid whose house they were digging through, complained about having to get up to help find his own precious pages, but you hopped right into Eddie’s van without hesitation or resistance, only thing carried with you being a sleepy grin.

Turns out, you make an interesting addition to their group. Your enthusiasm and cheeriness – regardless of the situation – is unmatched, and the contrast between the group before and after you’ve arrived is grand. You always shout out unique suggestions, make references to your favorite novels and movies, and you never fail at being a carrier for glee. One small gasp of excitement from you is all it takes for your energy to bleed through to everyone else; some of the other members, like Mike and occasionally Dustin, feign mock annoyance at how easily everyone is swayed by you, but it never seems genuine. If it ever verges too close to hurtful territory, Eddie shoots them a harsh glare as a warning and they back off, which you always find amusing. You know that, out of the two of you, Eddie’s the least likely to hurt even a caterpillar.

It’s not long before the two of you are spending insane amounts of time together, including outside of school and Hellfire. Sometimes he comes over to your place and you sit outside together, toes in the soft grass as you catch each other up on everything going on in your lives – not that there’s ever that much you have to fill him in on; you’re practically attached at the hip when you can be. Other times you hang out in your living room, rewatching some of your favorite films while raiding your snack cabinet. Some of Eddie’s favorite moments are these; when he’s sitting next you, arm lazily rest upon the back of the couch, close enough to you that you can feel the warmth of his skin without touching, and he can watch you vividly talk about your analysis of specific scenes in the films. Witnessing your raw, glowing passion has his chest swelling with admiration.

On the weekends when conflicting schedules cancel Hellfire meetings – which isn’t often, as being present and an active participant are Eddie’s most valued expectations – you frequent an old, run-down theatre in downtown Hawkins together. The tickets are cheap, there are rarely any other viewers, and the employees there either have a preference for older films or they can’t afford to purchase many from this decade. Regardless, it’s always a good time. With no one else around to tell you to be quiet, you’re giggling at Eddie’s cheesy jokes and making a few of your own.

There’s this one thing you can do – he calls it your “Wicked Movie Vision” – and it blows his mind every time it happens. You have this infallible ability to predict the plotlines, and the outcomes of said plotlines, of any movie you see. You insist that it’s not that difficult, that it’s only a matter of understanding popular tropes and knowing what to look for in the subtext, but it never fails to leave him in gaping awe. He likes to brag about it to the rest of your friend group, and he’s ever-persistent about how cool it is, despite their often lackluster attitudes towards it.

One Friday afternoon, when neither of you had any other plans, Eddie surprisingly called you on on the phone and sounded a bit more nervous than usual. It was barely there, a twinge of awkwardness, but was still noticeable to your observant ears.

“Hey, it’s your favorite leader of Hellfire,” he greets, drawing out the syllables in his first and last words, making you laugh. You neglect to mention that he’s technically the only leader of Hellfire; you let him have his little moments. “So uh, I know you don’t have anything planned tonight since we talked about it yesterday... Do you wanna come over? I can pick you up and we can hang out for a while?”

You have the feeling that he’s holding back some words; something tells you that he has some other reason for inviting you over, but you still smile and nod, verbally expressing your agreement when you realize that you’re not, in fact, currently visible to your friend.

Eddie comes to pick you up as usual, despite you saying that you’re fine with walking the short distance between your houses, and you start to feel a tad bit nervous. You don’t typically visit Eddie’s house often – your place is the usual hangout spot for you two – and you’re a little worried you might do something silly or disrespectful on accident.

Of course, you have nothing to worry about. The two of you talk excitedly in the car just like usual, and Eddie admits that he wants to show you something that he wrote for his band. You’ve been to a few Corroded Coffin practices, forever cheering him on in the audience, and it’s actually due to him that your music taste started developing more towards the kinds of songs that he likes and creates. You’ve never said it outright, but you enjoy the music a lot more just because it reminds you so much of him.

When you walk into Eddie’s trailer and take a tentative seat on an extra chair, watching as he leaves the room and mutters on about something to do with his guitar, you can’t help but notice that the smidge of tension from before is back. You’re starting to wonder if something may be wrong, but you don’t have much time to reel on it before he’s returning with his beloved instrument.

“You ready?” he asks, ghost of anxiety within his upturned smirk. You nod, and his fingers begin to strum at his guitar strings.

The melody starts out a little slow, almost tentative, but then it picks up and you can tell that’s where a beat drop from the drums would typically be. Everything shifts, and the tempo speeds up and becomes more intense. He’s closing his eyes as he plays, feet tapping and head bobbing, and you can tell that he’s really put his heart and soul into this song.

It’s over almost too quickly, leaving you wishing that you could somehow have a mixtape made of only that song repeated so that you could listen to it forever, and your closest friend is looking to you, silently waiting for your reaction. The hesitancy in his eyes fades away when you beam at him and go on and on about how much you loved it, recalling specific moments that really struck you as your favorite, and, as it’s sure to do, your admiration and eagerness pass unto him.

He’s so touched, so utterly appreciative and happy that you liked it so much, that he doesn’t stop himself from admitting, “I wrote it when I was thinking about you.”

You’re stunned into silence, never having expected that such a masterpiece was written in your honor. Quite truthfully, no one else had ever done something so intimate for you before, and that certainly didn’t help with your overwhelmed quietude. You’re caught up in your thoughts, wondering exactly what he means by that because you certainly know what it sounds like, and the soft blush across his cheekbones seems to answer your question for itself.

You subconsciously scoot closer to him, knee softly knocking against his, and your hand reaches out to rest upon his forearm almost on its own accord. His arm is warm against your palm, shirt atop his skin soft and thin, and his eyes shoot over to yours in pleasant surprise.

“Will you play it for me again?” you ask, toothy smile gleaming up at him, and who is he to deny you? Truthfully, he couldn’t say no to you even if he wanted to.

With a goofy, almost timid smile, and an almost whispering of “’Course I will,” Eddie Munson’s fingers pluck the first few notes of the song that he wrote as he was falling in love with you.

#the garden🌷#eddie munson #eddie munson x you #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson headcanons #eddie munson headcanon #eddie munson fic #eddie munson fluff #stranger things 4 #stranger things

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rubykgrant · 11 months

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(I'm feeling nostalgic... so here is the first genuine lovey-dovey Grimmons thing I wrote. It fits into the larger plot of my story-line, with Simmons getting lots of Character Development by realizing his parents are awful, and also Church and Tex are back with the AI Fragments because I said so. For Grif and Simmons, I really wanted the moment when they finally connect to happen in a way that almost mirrors the first conversation with them we see. I also wanted to show that they're still annoying dorks who bicker, but now cuddling and kissing can happen. They're each affection-starved for different reasons, and co-dependent as heck, so now they can finally enjoy each other~)

Finally, he was done with the paperwork.

Under most circumstances, Simmons enjoyed paperwork; it was a methodical process that allowed him to both focus AND zone-out. He was also very good at organizing and filling-out forms. The best kind of work didn’t just keep you busy, it was also satisfying. Right now… he just wanted it to be over and done with. He actually SKIPPED a few things, just to make it go quicker. 10 years ago, this would have caused Simmons to have a flustered panic-attack. Heck, it would have bothered him to leave something mildly incomplete 5 years ago. Well, he wasn’t the same Simmons as 5, 10, or 15 years ago… past-Simmons was done, and today-Simmons had more important things to worry about.

He just wanted to go see Grif.

They had FINALLY gotten used to just being able to hang-out again, now that all the… (what words were there to describe what had happened with his family?)… DRAMA with his parents was over. Simmons still felt so embarrassed about it; he’d not only been stupid, but perfectly willing to be deceived and used… but could you blame a guy for being tricked, when the ones tricking him were his own mother and father, and the trick in question was making him think they finally loved him, after years of being neglected and rejected? Simmons certainly blamed himself, but his friends reminded him often that it hadn’t been all his fault. Finally, he could do more than just resent his parents. He could flatly hate them, and simply ignore them. They were both gone and out of his life now, and it was on HIS terms. He was done with them, and looking forward to being with his friends again, being with GRIF again… but then more stuff happened.

More stuff ALWAYS happened.

At least it hadn’t been too much stuff this time. Some evil jerks who wanted to scan the brains of soldiers, thus creating new AI fragments… oh, and the evil jerks were using really funky boot-leg equipment that killed whoever got scanned. Really bad, and certainly a major inconvenience (especially when Simmons and the rest of his group had gotten kid-napped to be forced into the scanning process), but it had been a fairly straight-forward thing to deal with. Which they did. None of them had died, mostly thanks to the fact that Church and Tex could still do their own AI trick, plus some help from the handful of other AIs that liked to hang out in Church’s head.

Sigma had helped Simmons… which was a little unnerving at first, but ultimately OK. Sigma hadn’t tried to take over his body or destroy his mind. It had actually been kinda cool, working with the AI… and the results had spoken for themselves; fighting for your life was indeed a great motivator, but Sigma had made Simmons dig deeper for the things he really wanted.

Being connected with Sigma had been the reason for the majority of the paperwork. People wanted to know what it had been like, how it had worked… and while that was a fascinating process (one Simmons would normally like to discuss at length), some of it had involved thoughts that were very… personal. It was nobody’s business but his. Sigma knew, because he had literally been in Simmons’ brain. Simmons wasn’t exactly trying to keep any of this a secret, but still; his thoughts, his feelings.

(It had been overwhelming, but also exhilarating, looking at the situation in simple terms, these people had taken him away from everything he wanted, they had taken him away from everything he DESERVED, and he wasn’t going to let them get away with it, he wasn’t going to be pushed around, he was going to PUSH BACK, he was going to survive this situation and nothing was going to stop him, because he was smart enough to solve this problem, but he was more than just smart, he was strong, he was determined, and he had nothing holding him back…)

First they had to deal with stupid problems caused by evil jerks, and THEN he had to deal with all that paperwork. Simmons blew through it (he was internally getting a kick out of how much this would have driven his previous self crazy), and only cared about ONE thing; finding Grif. They hadn’t been able to see each other or even talk for WEEKS. That was horrible all on its own, but now… it was different. He was different.

In his search for Grif, Simmons winds up running around the facility, asking everybody he meets if they’d seen “the Orange One” (they all knew who the Reds and Blues were, but not everybody had the names down). Simmons finally finds a Grif, but it is the OTHER Grif (the one who wouldn’t recognize ANYBODY by their colors).

“Kai!” he calls out to her and waves to get her attention.

She stops in the hallway, and seems to send out irritated vibes as Simmons jogs up to her.

“Hey, I’m looking for your brother… where is he? I thought he’d stick around when we were done answering all the questions about what happened, but he’s gone-”

“Yeah, he doesn’t want to talk to you right now,” she says in a defensive tone.

That throws Simmons way the heck off. He blinks inside his helmet and tries to process what he just heard.

“What? Wh-why?” he honestly has no clue.

“Uh, maybe because you’ve been making fun of him ever since you came back?” she’s crossed her arms now, looking beyond angry even without her expression showing.

“I… I haven’t been making fun of him! I mean, we joke with each other all the time, playful insults and stuff, but I haven’t even been doing THAT lately… seriously, what’s wrong? What did I do?”

“Oh please, ever since you figured out he actually meant it when he said…” she paused there, trailing off. Simmons knew what she meant. It was the ‘I love you’. Grif had finally told Simmons how he felt, and Simmons had… misunderstood. No, it had totally gone right over his head. Because, despite how smart he considered himself to be, Simmons also knew he could be a moron. “… you’ve been PICKING ON HIM! Now that you came back and figured out how he felt, you’ve been picking on him, and just- just being a total ass-hat about it! So guess what, he doesn’t want to talk to you!”

That didn’t just throw him for a loop… Simmons felt like somebody just tossed him off a building, and now he was free-falling, flipping through the air at terminal velocity.

“WHAT? NO!” he HAD to make her understand. “I wasn’t picking on him, or making fun of him! I- I was FLIRTING with him! I thought that… I just wanted him to know I felt the same way, but without it being a big deal? I thought if I did a big romantic confession or something, it would make him feel awkward… so I was just trying to, like… flirt? But in teasing way?”

“OH. MY. GOD.” Kai dropped her arms… and then raised them up again, shaking her hands in front of his visor. “You were trying to FLIRT? That was you FLIRTING?”

“Um, yes?”

“DUDE! HAVE YOU EVER EVEN FLIRTED BEFORE?”

“N-no… not really?” his voice has turned into a meek little squeak.

“SO WHY WOULD YOU TRY IT NOW?”

“I don’t know…” in retrospect, Simmons can now see how stupid this had been.

“This whole time, my brother just thought you were mocking him! And you were FLIRTING! He tells you he loves you, and you don’t get it, then he tries to get OVER you, and YOU decide to start flirting… I can’t believe it… I swear, you are BOTH so HOPELESS!” she groans, then takes a deep breath. “OK, listen up. He freaking CONFESSED to you, after being in love with you for like… at least 10 years. He’s not gonna take you seriously if keep trying to tease him. You need to be DIRECT. You need to be HONEST. You need to do a BIG ROMANTIC CONFESSION.”

She pointed down the hallway to her right, and gave Simmons a shove in that direction.

“He’s outside, on the look-out corner over there. Now go and tell my brother you’re in love with him BEFORE I KILL YOU! AND NOBODY WILL EVER FIND YOUR BODY!”

“Right! Got it! Going to fix this now!” he was fairly certain she COULD get away with murder if she wanted, but Simmons was more concerned with finding Grif to make the guy UNDERSTAND.

This whole time… Simmons had been calling him cute, and lover-boy… but Grif thought Simmons was mocking him. He must feel AWFUL. That hadn’t been his intention at all. Why were they so bad at this? Why couldn’t they ever be on the same damn page? The short answer was, they were BOTH morons.

Simmons sprinted down the hall, dodging random people on the way… if they knew why he was running, they’d probably think this was like a scene out of a rom-com, and he was trying to catch somebody at the airport. Well, that was almost right; he certainly felt like if he didn’t find Grif and talk to him IMMEDIATELY, this was going to be a lost cause. You can’t expect a person to keep waiting, hoping, for years and years and… it had already been long enough. Simmons might even be just barely too late right now. Oh NO, he had to find Grif, tell him truth, he had to FIX THIS!

He should have said something years ago… but in his defense, Simmons hadn’t realized what was happening. How could he? In the beginning, he hadn’t even LIKED Grif, and that was supposed to be first step when you actually fell in love with somebody, right? You like them. Grif and Simmons had a very rocky start. By the time Simmons DID start to like him, well… what was he supposed to think? This certainly wasn’t a conventional relationship. Not that Simmons had a lot of experience with ANY relationships at all; his home life with his family had been a nightmare. They didn’t love each other, not in a genuine and affectionate way, and they certainly didn’t love him. He never had any real friends. Most kids hated his guts, either because he was too much of a little smarty-pants or not smart ENOUGH. Whatever the reason, nobody liked him. He never dated anybody either… he knew what dating was supposed to look like, though. Simmons watched movies, he read books. He could occasionally see real people who were really in love (or at least seemed to be). He just never got to experience it himself. How was Simmons supposed to recognize that he was falling in love with somebody, when he had no personal frame of reference for it?

His relationship with Grif had always been weird, but it was THEIRS. It was just like that with them. Eventually, Simmons realized he liked Grif, and they were friends despite all the bickering (maybe even a little BECAUSE of the bickering)… and you DEFINITELY shouldn’t be having cutesy-thoughts about your friend. Simmons assumed there must have just been something wrong with him… and if he ever let Grif know, it would ruin the weird relationship they had. Grif wouldn’t want to hang out with him or talk to him anymore, which was the worst thing ever, because Simmons DID like having him as a friend, so what was wrong with him? Why did stupid thoughts keep popping into his head, and why… WHY… did he occasionally have DREAMS that went a LOT further than “cutesy”? You don’t dream about your friends like THAT. YOU JUST DON’T. Something was wrong with him, but it wasn’t his fault, he had no control over dumb stuff his brain did while he was unconscious, and if he just didn’t say anything, then it would be OK.

After the incident on Chorus, Simmons had thought the whole problem would just be solved; something had finally happened, something that was outside of his control, and so he didn’t have to worry about it. He didn’t need to come up with a reason or an excuse. Something had happened, and it had happened with Grif, and now… he could stop trying so hard to ignore it or explain it. The choice was out of his hands. No more pressure to make a decision. They could figure out what this meant TOGETHER, and things would be fine… except no, nothing EVER was that simple. They got caught (thankfully, not in the act. Enough time had passed for them to recover some composure... and their clothes), and Grif had been beyond embarrassed. That had been like a slap in the face to Simmons; Grif didn’t want to talk about it, or even think about it. It was just a crazy situation, caused by Tucker’s stupid sword, and it was pointless to dwell on it.

Simmons dwelled on it, because his brain couldn’t let things go… and yeah, it had hurt. He’d been rejected before. Many times. He basically expected it whenever he started talking to another person, regardless of who they were. Was he trying to make a friend? Was he trying to impress an authority figure? Was he trying to ask somebody out on a date? Nobody ever wanted him. Which wasn’t exactly fun, but he was used to it. Now Grif didn’t even want him. For a little while after Chorus, Simmons had been terrified that Grif wouldn’t want him at ALL, not even as a friend. The two of them had both been rejects TOGETHER, and somehow that made things OK. Grif was so chill, and Simmons was so up-tight... they cancelled each other out. Or maybe it was more like they complimented each other. They clashed too, oh YES, but no matter how often that clashing happened, they still stayed together. In the after-math of Chorus, that wasn't true anymore. This is what he’d been afraid of, doing something stupid that would ruin their relationship (and just what WAS their relationship, anyway?).

Then they had arrived on Iris, and things had gone back to normal… Simmons didn’t hesitate for one moment to fall back into their old routine of talking, bickering, and joking. That was good, that was safe. That was what he wanted. Except, part of him wanted something else. Part of him wanted to say more when they talked, part of him wanted to get closer, part of him wanted… he wasn’t even sure WHAT. He just wanted, and all that WANT was directed at Grif. Why? You don’t want stuff like that from your friend. Why did Simmons even want Grif at all? What was wrong with him? When Grif had "quit" the group, Simmons internally felt broken. He kept doing what he needed to do, because what other option did he have? Just curl up on the ground in a ball, and die? He felt like doing exactly that... and it wasn't FAIR, it wasn't fair that Grif could just push him away and not care, it wasn't fair that Grif didn't NEED him around the way Simmons needed Grif. Thankfully that hadn't lasted; Grif came back. Simmons should have done something right then, told him him something... just SOMETHING, to make Grif understand... but Simmons still didn't understand it himself. He didn't understand why he felt empty without Grif around...

Well, Simmons had finally figured it out; he had been falling in love with Grif as the years went by (it was so obvious and simple when you said it like that), and he was too much of a dink to see that for what it was. He’d never been in love before, or been able to see an up-close example of what love really was… just second-hand glimpses at other people from an emotional distance. He had never been able to relate to any of it. When Simmons found himself right there in middle of it happening, he had no clue… it was love. Love. When you like somebody, and want somebody, and NEED somebody, and have all kinds of cutesy-thoughts about somebody, and dreams that are on the more mature side of romantic about somebody… there is a fairly good chance that you love them. The evidence added up. Simmons already had one missed opportunity with Grif, he can’t lose him again.

He finds the doors that open up to the large look-out area… and there is Grif. Standing over by the railing, still in his armor. It feels good just SEEING him again. It feels good knowing Grif isn’t far away, out of reach… but Simmons can’t relax yet. He still has to talk to him, and he has to make it good. Because that’s his best friend over there, that’s his favorite person, that’s the man he’s in love with (oh damn, his stomach rolls at that thought, but not in a bad way, he’s just such a bundle of nerves). Simmons has to tell him all that, and make sure Grif knows it is TRUE.

“Grif, hey…” Simmons slows down, and catches his breath, walking up to the railing. “I’ve been… I’ve been looking for you. We need to talk…”

“Yeah, well… I don’t wanna talk to you…” he doesn’t just sound sulky or pouty. Grif sounds downright miserable.

“Grif… c’mon, please… we can always talk to each other,” Simmons is trying not to panic… he can’t stand the idea of NOT being able to talk to Grif, especially when Grif is RIGHT THERE.

“FINE, whatever… you talk. I don’t got nothing to say,”

Simmons was going to ignore the bad grammar for now. Priorities.

“Grif, I… I’m sorry. I’m sorry I didn’t understand what you meant when you said you loved me…” he sees Grif shuffle and tense up at the mention of this. “I’m sorry you had to put up with me being so oblivious for such a long time. I’m sorry that when I finally figured it out, I started teasing you… I SWEAR, I wasn’t trying to make fun of you! I was… look, I’ve never actually dated anybody in my whole life. You know that… so I’m just- I’m BAD at this, but I was TRYING to flirt with you. Really!”

Grif turns away from him, muttering.

“Yeah, right…”

“Grif, no! I mean it! I was flirting with you, I just suck at it!” oh, Grif doesn’t believe him. That’s not good… OK, time to get real. “So… I’m just going to tell you how I feel, honestly. Alright? I love you, Grif…”

“No you don’t…”

“Uh, yes I do?”

"You don't,"

"I really DO?"

“NO! No you don’t! Why WOULD you?”

“Why would I… Grif, how could I NOT love you? I like talking to you more than anybody else I’ve ever known in my entire LIFE! You drive me crazy with how annoying you are, but you also make me laugh so much I forget about everything else! When I make YOU laugh, it's like I really accomplished something, because nobody else is as good at it as me! When I’m with you, I feel so stupid, but you also make me feel like I actually matter! Sometimes, I literally can’t stop thinking about you! You take over my head! A big portion of my life practically revolves around you!” Simmons was trying to step closer to him… but he just kept moving away. “Grif, you’re my best friend. You know exactly how irritating and weird I am, and you still want to be around me. I know all your bad habits, and I can’t imagine NOT being with you. No matter how I try to picture what I want in my life, you’re always there. You make me happy, and I want to be the person who makes YOU happy. If I’m not in goddamn love with you, then I don’t know WHAT the hell is going on!”

Simmons took a step toward him, and tried to put a hand on his shoulder. Grif shook him off.

“Grif, I-”

“No! Just stop it! You don’t… you DON’T…”

Simmons refused to give up. Maybe if this was just about Grif not feeling the same way, he could let it go… but that wasn’t what was happening; this was Grif being so used to feeling unwanted, he couldn’t accept the fact that Simmons was truly in love with him. Grif could do whatever he needed to do for himself, he could go ahead and move on if that was what he really wanted… but first, he had to KNOW. He had to know Simmons really MEANT IT. Simmons needs to do something… something direct, something that can’t possible be misinterpreted.

He reaches up and takes off his helmet, setting it down by his feet.

That done, Simmons reaches over and begins to take off Grif’s. At first, Grif doesn’t notice what is happening, then he tries to jump away… but Simmons has his hand on the clasps, and Grif can’t escape. The orange helmet comes off with a few little clicks, and Simmons places it down with his maroon one.

Grif turns his head down, and leans away… like he’s trying to hide his face. Simmons can see that parts of his cheeks are shining in the sunlight; at some point during this conversation, Grif had cried behind his visor. Maybe out of frustration, or simple sadness… but either way, he had cried because of Simmons. This almost makes Simmons lose his nerve, it nearly causes him to choke and freeze-up, but he reminds himself that this is something he WANTS to do, something he NEEDS to do.

“Grif, look at me… look at me…” his voice comes out soft, but certain. Quiet and gentle, but still calm.

Grif hears this, and he can’t NOT listen… because he doesn’t get to hear Simmons sound like that very often. He hears Simmons whine, and squawk, and screech, and babble all the time. He also hears Simmons laugh, and complain, and grumble, and joke a lot. This was different. There was something PLEADING in that tone, and Grif can’t say no. There was also something very CONFIDENT in that tone as well, and Grif can’t ignore it.

He looks up at Simmons, and it feels like too much; Grif has been trying to forget how he feels but now here is this face… Grif sees his eyes, his hair, the way his smile pulls just a little to one side, and it reminds Grif of a million other things. Every conversation they ever had, every time they had a petty argument over nothing, every time they cracked each other up until it felt like they would die, every time they really DID almost die but somehow survived. Grif sees the metal that frames one of his eyes, and part of his jawline… and that reminds Grif of the fact that they match. Grif has patches of skin that came from Simmons, and right now Simmons can see that too. He can see Grif’s face, Grif can see his, and Grif sees so much MORE; Grif sees everything he knows about Simmons, everything he hates about Simmons, everything he LOVES about Simmons, and it feels like too MUCH.

“I love you,” Simmons tells him, that same tone… soft, certain, quiet, gentle, calm… pleading and confident.

It hits Grif right then; Simmons knows exactly what he’s saying… and he means it. Grif’s heart doesn’t just skip a beat; he practically feels it shudder in his chest (and really, this heart came from Simmons, he literally has Simmons’ heart, and it must still be in cahoots with Simmons, because right now this heart is TORTURING him).

Before Grif can think about what to do or say in response, Simmons is tilting his head down. Still holding on to Grif's shoulders, ever-so-slightly pulling him closer. Now Grif can’t see his face anymore… it is too close, just a soft blur… he's blocking out the sun...

Simmons is kissing him.

Simmons had leaned down, until there was no more room between them, and very softly pressed his mouth against Grif’s… except it was a little more than that… Simmons had parted his lips, just slightly, and when they touched, his lips closed around Grif’s. Now Grif was really starting to notice the way this felt, the smooth curve of Simmons' lower lip, the warmth, it was so light and gentle… just barely a kiss, but ABSOLUTELY a kiss. Since when did this nerd know how to kiss? Who told him he could do that? Grif’s breath stalls, and he doesn’t trust himself to let it go… it’ll come out as a choked sob of relief, and that might turn into something else, like a full-on crying fit, so instead he just holds it and shuts his eyes.

After a moment, that both seems like a long time and yet too short, Simmons leans away… now Grif lets himself exhale, and it DOES sound shaky and choked, as if he’s never been kissed before, as if he’s never kissed Simmons before (but Grif himself had insisted that what happened on Chorus didn’t count, it hadn’t been “real”, they should just forget about it… this was entirely different than Chorus; this wasn’t in a dark closet, this was out in broad daylight. They couldn’t blame this on a magical sci-fi alien temple that turned your brain off and turned the rest of you ON. This was deliberate, this was intentional, this was REAL).

Grif blinks, seeing Simmons again; he looks relieved, like he’s finally done something that he NEEDED to do. His eyes are still closed, and Grif can hear him sigh softly… no ragged, strangled gasp from him. Well, that’s not fair. Grif can feel something inside himself, what most people would probably call “butterflies in your stomach”, it was also like static electricity sparking in his gut, and now HE needs to do something, because that kiss had NOT been long enough, he’s been thinking about kissing Simmons in the back of his mind for more than 10 years, and if they can just do this now, if they can just kiss each other, then… then Grif is going to get the most he can out of it.

Grif’s hands come up to grip the edges of Simmons’ armor, roughly pulling him back, the metal on their chests making a clunking noise. He also brings their faces together again, their lips touching again, and REALLY kisses Simmons. Grif can hear him make a startled little hum, but it is a pleasantly surprised noise, and it turns into a sigh of gratitude. Actually... it was in the neighborhood of sounding like a moan. Now that he’s not in a state of shock, Grif can actually kiss Simmons like he means it… and he DOES mean it. He presses his mouth against Simmons', firmly but tenderly, and shows Simmons how kissing works; you nod your head into the movements of your lips, as smoothly as possible, until it feels like you're both floating in the ocean, letting the waves roll you. That's how you kiss somebody... like a wave. The way Simmons responded was warm, welcoming... slowly nodding along, matching what Grif was doing, and it really was like being in the ocean, rising and falling with the waves...

Those butterflies Grif felt before have escaped from his stomach; now he feels that fluttering all over his body, down his legs, through his arms to the tips of his fingers, filling up his head. More than just little sparks of static… Grif has a whole thunderstorm inside him, and he knows what it is; the feeling of wanting somebody, needing them, all kinds of other sappy words… yearning, longing… and finally being able to just HAVE something with them, finally being able to give part of yourself to them, and they want it too… you BOTH want this, you want each other. You HAVE each other.

This was just a little kiss, no big deal… except it was, because it was SIMMONS, and Grif has been talking to him for years, standing next to him for years, thinking about him for years, and he has been holding himself back from doing anything even remotely similar to this. No matter how close they were physically, Grif still made sure there was enough distance between them to be safe, you could still call it “platonic”, no touching except the occasional punch in the arm or a short bro-hug. No matter how close they were emotionally, Grif still made sure not to get too deep about his feelings, never reveal how much he thought about Simmons or how often those thoughts were tinted with something romantic. As close as it was possible to get to somebody… without being TOO close.

Whatever line had been drawn in the proverbial sand to separate them, it had been crossed… and erased. Grif was now so close to Simmons, they were touching. Not just touching, KISSING. Grif was kissing Simmons. Simmons was kissing Grif. After years and years and YEARS, this was actually happening.

When the thunder storm finally seems to be over, when the butterflies finally seem to calm down, Grif eases his mouth away… and hears Simmons make a sound sort of like a quiet, uneven laugh. Not exactly his nervous giggle, and not quite his I’m-so-tired-that-everything-seems-funny chuckle. This sounded a lot more satisfied and breathless… and just a little bit needy, like he wanted more. This was a laugh just for Grif, because Grif had kissed it out of him. He wants to hear that again and again, kiss Simmons again and again.

“I love you, Grif…” Simmons tells him, pressing forehead gently against Grif’s, eyes still shut, his expression one of simple contentment.

“… I love you too, Simmons,” Grif replies, and it occurs to him that he can do that now; reply, say it back, or say it first and then hear the reply. He hears his own voice crack, he can’t help it.

Just a few minutes ago, Grif had been resigned to giving up on Simmons… he couldn’t stand being around the guy anymore. It was too painful. Impossible to be friends with somebody who thinks how you feel is just a big joke, and now Grif couldn’t even ignore it and pretend nothing had changed. EVERYTHING had changed. He hated it, and he was just so DONE dealing with Simmons. No more having conversations that didn’t go anywhere, no more wasting his time pining away like a stupid middle school kid with a crush. He was too old to feel like this. It was time to just move on…

NOW everything had changed again. Simmons had told him he felt the same way. Simmons had kissed him. Simmons was still clinging to him, still nuzzling his face against Grif’s, still being so affectionate… it could just be like this, always. From now on, when they’re standing around, one of them can reach out, and then they can hold each other. When they’re talking, bickering, laughing, they can lean in and kiss each other. They can do all of that… suddenly having all these options is overwhelming Grif, all these possibilities that aren’t just silly little love-sick fantasies anymore, but REALITY.

“Well… that only took us, what? 10, 12 years to figure out?” Simmons softly murmurs.

A laugh escapes Grif, making him shake, and Simmons as well.

“We might be stupid…” Grif leans away just enough to properly look at Simmons.

“Oh, we’re major idiots, no question!” Simmons agrees, opening his eyes, smile spreading across his face. Grif grins back at him, and without knowing it, they both think ‘I love making him smile’.

“You’re supposed to be the SMART one,” Grif tells him.

“Yeah, but I remember what I said? You MAKE me stupid. My braincells are allergic to you,”

That does it, Grif explodes into laughter, and has to bury his face into Simmons’ neck (he suddenly feels like he desperately needs to be right there, right in the little spot where the kevlar under-suit ends and he can see the exposed skin. Grif is lucky he’s already so close, because for a sec, he was practically frantic to get his face to that little spot), where he both hears and feels the vibrations of Simmons laughing right along with him.

“You c-can’t ever do this to me again, man…” Grif tries to catch his breath, and also not move his face away, because he feels pretty good right where he is (he’s gonna have to try cuddling this close to Simmons again sometime, when they don’t have layers of armor in the way. He’s gonna have to cuddle Simmons a LOT). “You can’t make feel like I don’t have a chance, and then give me hope, and then…”

“No, don’t worry. No more miscommunications,” Simmons promises, turning his face just a little bit so it is nestled in Grif’s hair (thinking to himself how nice it is… they just fit together like this, each of them fills up the space for the other. He's going to enjoy holding Grif when they're both wearing something more comfortable, no armor to ruin it). “And I won’t… I won’t keep teasing you anymore-”

“Well, y’know… maybe that’s not so bad after all,” Grif mumbles in a weak attempt to sound nonchalant.

“What? Grif, you were so upset about it! That’s why you were avoiding me!”

“Pfff, dude, that was waaay back-”

“Way back 11 minutes ago?!” it is impossible to take that grumpy tone seriously, because Simmons still has his arms wrapped around Grif’s body, and he still has his face in Grif’s hair.

“Yeah, way back then. That was when I thought you were saying that stuff sarcastically… but now I know you MEANT it. Now I know all those things you told me weren’t insults, they were COMPLIMENTS. You can keep that up, that’s fine with me…”

“Grif- you are so- you’re such an ass-backwards, contrary, son of a-”

“Oh, are you gonna talk dirty to me, too? That’s cool, I can get into that…” Grif feels Simmons squeeze him tighter, and for a few seconds worries if maybe he stepped too far and really made Simmons mad (which would be horrible, they were FINALLY getting somewhere, somewhere GOOD), but then he hears Simmons sputter and feels those vibrations against his face again; Simmons was laughing.

Grif grins against his neck, and waits for the laughter to come to a slow stop.

“Grif, do you remember what I said when I realized how you felt?” Simmons asks him, still out of breath from left-over giggles. “I asked you what you loved about me, right? Like, if you loved my laugh or my eyes? You never answered me… that’s why I started trying to flirt with you. I thought if I said what I loved about YOU, it would make it easier for you to say what you loved about ME,”

“Oh… OK, I can kinda see why you might have thought that would work,” Grif isn’t sure who messed up worse… they both should have known better.

“So?” Simmons asks.

“So… what?”

“SO, I’ve given you PLENTY of compliments…” Simmons prompts him.

“Ah, OK, um… so…” Grif reminds himself that he’s already said the most important thing, this was just the icing on the cake. “Yeah… you asked if I loved your laugh… and I do, but not just that. I really… I love your voice, I love the way you sound, I love the way you talk when you get all excited about something you care about, I love when you get all ticked-off and rant about something you hate, I love how you sound when you’re explaining something even when I don’t understand it, I love your- what’s it called, the way a person pronounces things, the- the something, the speaking rhythm? No, that's not it...”

“My speech pattern?” Simmons offers helpfully.

“YES, your speech pattern, see I love that too, when you know the words for stuff I forget about, and I love when you mess-up words like a dork, it's cute, and yeah I love your speech pattern, that’s why I fall asleep when we talk all night, not because you’re boring, but listening to you calms me down, and… FUCK, I did the thing where I can’t shut up again!” Grif can feel a small pressure on top of his head; he’s pretty sure that’s Simmons kissing him up there, and that makes him realize Simmons might like HIS speech pattern, too.

“Grif, if you think YOU like to hear compliments, you need to remember who the hell I am!” this makes them both laugh again, and it feels so surreal; having a stupid little argument that was really more fun that anything, while also being snuggled tightly together, with Grif basically kissing Simmons’ neck because his mouth kept touching that little area of skin, and Simmons basically kissing Grif through his hair… this was something they’d done a million times, but never like THIS. It starts to sink in with Grif that he CAN just do stuff like compliment Simmons, and call him cute... the guy was VERY susceptible to flattery. In fact, he ate it up.

“… Grif? When we have the chance, do you want to go out on a date? Like, an actual, real date?” Simmons asks him.

“Oh, hell YES I do,” Grif doesn’t even hesitate.

“Good. We’ve got a lot of wasted time to make up for… jeez, we could have been boyfriends years ago, what’s wrong us?” Simmons is resting his cheek on top of Grif’s head, rolling his eyes at how ridiculous this whole journey has been.

“I think we already established the fact that we’re major idiots…” Grif reminds him… then realizes something. “… boyfriends?”

“Yep,” Grif feels Simmons nod his head gently.

“I’m your boyfriend?”

“Yep,”

“Your MY boyfriend?”

“Yep,”

Years of not liking each other, then becoming friends, then accidentally falling in love but not doing anything about it, then Grif trying to finally tell him only for Simmons to miss his point, then feeling like Simmons was going to drift away forever… and a few minutes ago, Grif wanted to get Simmons out of his life. Now they were boyfriends. Just like that, everything had changed. If there WAS some kind of divine creator out there with a plan, they REALLY liked screwing with Grif.

“That sounds pretty good,” Grif admits, finally allowing himself to separate from Simmons (because now he doesn’t feel like he’ll somehow lose Simmons if they aren’t clinging together).

“It really does,” Simmons presses his lips to Grif’s forehead briefly (both of them having internal moments of glee at the realization that they can do that now; share casual little kisses… because they were boyfriends), and then bends his knees to pick up their helmets.

***

While all this was going on, Kai had been inside the building losing her mind.

She was sick and tired of always having to wait on the side-lines while her brother had some emotional break-down… if he had listened to her before when she gave him advice about his love life, all these problems would have been solved. Heck, if Dex actually had the nerve, he would probably be MARRIED to Simmons by now… but nooooo, he had to be so pathetic and ignore his feelings (and ignore the fact that Simmons was OBVIOUSLY just waiting for him to make the first move. Not that Simmons knew that’s what he was waiting for, because he was pathetic too). She was surprised he hadn’t died of dehydration, her bro was so thirsty and refused to take a sip even when there was a tall drink of water RIGHT THERE.

She finally couldn’t take it anymore. She had to go out there and see what was happening. If they were fighting or not talking properly, she was gonna walk up and smack them both!

Kai heads down the hallway, and starts to step out through the doors… but then catches herself.

The two of them are standing out there. She can’t hear what they’re saying, but from the way they’re turning their heads slightly, she can tell they are talking. It seems like a comfortable conversation, whatever it is. The whole scene looks like something typical for the two of them, except… they’re holding hands.

They’re standing out there, together, talking, and holding hands.

Kai has no clue what finally did it, who said what, how it happened, but LOOK!

She quickly steps back inside, letting the doors quietly close. Kai barely takes a few steps away from the door before she has to stop, her knees almost give-out on her, so she just pauses there in the hall for a moment, half-bent over, holds her hands up in triumphant fists, and lets out a long sound of pure happiness-

“EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!”

-because her brother was out there holding hands with somebody! Not just anybody, but the specific somebody he’s been madly in love with! She wouldn’t have to kill Simmons after all! Kai leaves, practically skipping back down the hall, letting the two of them have their romantic little moment out there. They deserved it. They deserved each other. They had certainly waited long enough for it.

Ooh, she had to start thinking about fun date-night ideas for them… and ask Donut to help her pick out cute matching outfits for them to wear… and… and… NO, WAIT! She still had to be patient; those dorks out there only JUST got together, and everybody who knows them was bound to freak out about it (Kai hadn’t even been there for the beginning of this long and nonsensical romance, and she was freaking out a little herself). Dex needed some time to enjoy himself in peace. She would wait for them to tell the others (and once Tucker knew, he was probably going to start planning their wedding… if he hasn’t already). THEN she would start giving them dating suggestions~

#red vs blue #rvb #grimmons

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cursedvibes · 17 days

Note

For character ask game, can I ask for Johan and Nina? Thx :D

Thanks for the Monster ask! I love talking about the twins :)

Johan

Sexuality Headcanon:

It's hard to say anything for certain with Johan's identity. How much is for show/acted and how much is his own genuine wants. It is very noticeable that when he goes to charm people (in a sexual way or otherwise) it's most often men, but it's difficult to say if that's because of personal preference or because they are just easier to manipulate. I would say there's a slight preference for men because going out of dates with Jan was absolutely not necessary, he could've gotten all the information he needed through regular persuasion or a casual chat. He also gives me strong ace vibes.

Gender Headcanon:

Also hard to put into words. I'd say either agender as in he really has none because he has made himself/become empty or bigender as in his own gender and the one of his sister. He does seem to prefer masculine or what is generally seen as boy's/men's clothes even when he was still living with his mother, but I don't know how much of that is his own will and how much is him just not wanting to stick out and fitting into society. I also wouldn't say he's solely wearing women's/girl's clothing because his mother raised him that way or because he wants to imitate his sister. Because the clothes he wears are different from Nina's. Hers are much more casual and unisex, while Johan deliberately goes into a more feminine direction. And in this case I don't think it's to fit in because he could do that perfectly well with Nina's clothing style as well.

A ship I have with said character:

Jan. Somehow I'm always gravitating towards murderer/sweet, naive and slightly delusional guy. I fully believe Jan could come around eventually to giving Johan another chance, seeing that Johan is able to be kind like how he helped his mother gain mental clarity. Johan just has to show that he will be murdering a little less in the future. But either way, I already like their interactions as is and I think the way Johan treats Jan is really interesting. He doesn't kill him, despite Jan knowing quite quite a bit about him and he even helps him before leaving Prague. There's definitely some potential.

A BROTP I have with said character:

Nina lol. I love these kinds of twisted, codependent twin relationships. And oh boy do they have trauma and drama between them. Honestly, the entire backstory about their mother's choice, Red Rose Mansion and their escape from Czechoslovakia alone is giving me so much food for thought. The fairy tales interwoven with it give it the extra surreal feeling, similar to how both of them see their childhood. The way both of their mentalities changed, the things both of them had to endure, the haunting imagery of Johan waiting alone in the empty apartment for Nina to return. It's just so incredibly good and the way you gradually find out about it is even better. Johan helped Nina by taking in her trauma (telling himself eventually it was his), but he also needed her to stay close and support him because he couldn't take it otherwise. Really one monster eating the other.

A NOTP I have with said character:

Johan/Tenma. I don't like Tenma and idk I just never saw any basis for it. Johan fixates on Tenma as well, but I don't see anything sexual or romantic in that.

A random headcanon:

I think he wears women's clothing or lives as Nina or under some other women's name even when it isn't necessarily benefitting his plan. He could do the same thing as a man, but he just decides to be a woman sometimes because why not (people tend to treat him nicer or overlook him easier too).

General Opinion over said character:

Love him, one of the best villains in anime and manga.

Nina

Sexuality Headcanon:

Either bi or a lesbian. She probably isn't quite sure about it yet either. I'd say she's more into girls because all her attempts at dating guys seemed a bit...strained. Like it didn't feel quite natural, even when Johan wasn't inserting himself into the situation.

Gender Headcanon:

She seems pretty happy as a cis girl. Although I wonder if things might be different if Johan and her roles were switched. She always had a strong sense of identity and internal strength though, so she would've probably processed such a situation very differently from Johan.

A ship I have with said character:

Lotte. She clearly has a huge crush on Nina and as far as love interest go, she seems like the best option. Relatively well adjusted while also adventurous and knows how to handle Nina when she's having a little existential crisis. Now Nina just has to be made more aware of Lotte's feelings for her...she can be a bit oblivious, but to be fair, she was hunting her murderous brother, so understandably a bit preoccupied.

A BROTP I have with said character:

Johan :)

A NOTP I have with said character:

Tenma again. Similar reason as with Johan. Sure they are nice to each other, but I really don't see anything else there.

A random headcanon:

I think her mother knew who she was giving away and she didn't do it because she doesn't love Nina but because she thought she would be more likely to handle Red Rose Mansion and Bonaparte as well as you possibly could. Like she wouldn't be as easily influenced by the picture book, not to the point of harming herself and others at least. You can see at times that Nina also has a murderous side to her, but she has it way better under control than Johan.

General Opinion over said character:

Like her. I used to not be that much of a fan, but she has really grown on me over the past years.

#asks #naoki urasawa’s monster

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hilsoncrater · 6 months

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im not sure I have the property to say this since ive only been watching loki through twitter, but did you also get a little bit of a ted lasso finale vibe?

hmmm not really? with ted lasso's ending, none of what happened made any sense narratively or thematically. with loki's ending, it fit both narratively and thematically (to me at least).

but similar to my thoughts on ted lasso's ending, i do think loki's ending would have been elevated if those two old men had kissed.

i also will add that loki is Marvel. we know what to expect from A Marvel Show because at the end of the day, it is under Disney's Ironclad Fist. allowing their main character loki to be Explicitly Queer Onscreen (rather than just mentioned) was never ever going to happen. that would have alienated Disney's domestic viewers, sure, but to them more importantly countries such as China (who have historically barred queer media from being shown) would have pulled financial backing. and Disney Loves Money More Than Creative Storytelling, so...why would they risk upsetting their profit margins? also also Disney is rooted in evangelical christian support, and has strong affiliation with being conservatively Family Friendly. a gay kiss? not happening for one of their most famous and beloved MCU characters.

meanwhile, AppleTV isn't beholden to this puritanical expectation nor does it have decades of financial ties. ted lasso was one of their biggest shows. they marketed ted lasso's S3 as this amazing, industry-changing phenomena. Oh My God Ted Lasso Is Ending You Don't Want To Miss This Finale type vibe. we were led to believe ted's journey would end up one place....and then it didn't. this could be abt tedbecca or tedtrent, those two endgames are in the same boat in my opinion. as a character, ted himself is intensely queer-coded. it's undeniable. it would have fit the vibe of the entire show's premise about Found Family + Accepting Love In All Forms for ted to be canonically bisexual or queer. THAT would have been a strong weight thrown in the industry, imo. but no, ted goes back to his straight, lonely, dull life in kansas for no solid reason (despite rebecca laying out a perfectly good option for both henry and michelle to join ted in london).

loki stuck the shakespearean tragic hero landing. loki IS burdened with a glorious purpose. loki HAS to end up alone. him choosing loneliness is integral to his bigger purpose within the narrative itself. the entire story and his entire character arc builds up to him acting selflessly with integrity in order to protect his friends. here you have a trickster god who spent his entire life begging to be seen by someone, then gets seen by someone, and then has to let that someone go for their perceived betterment. loki, a notoriously selfish, lying motherfucker who blew up NYC, goes through this immense transformation to where he fundamentally changes who he is. loki at the start of season one is not who loki is at the end of season two. the way he deals with feelings of loss is night and day. his lonely ending is cathartic because it feels earned and comprehendible and it carries weight from how it highlights his character growth.

can we say the same about ted lasso himself? no. ted lasso in season one is not who he is in the end of season three, true. externally, he becomes divorced, he leaves richmond, he went to therapy. but intrinsically he as a character did not grow enough to where him choosing his lonely ending felt cathartic. throughout the show, ted takes on the role of Carer. he Has To Care For Others, yet he tends to reject people when they want to take care of him. we see him struggle with depression, alcohol dependence, emotional unavailability, panic attacks, homesickness, and guilt. when season three reaches midway, we see him find solace in his friends and community and learning to be alone. even with his mom, a triggering person for him, he vocalized his feelings in an honest and truthful way. ted's character arc is written to match the show's theme of found family, acceptance, and love.

and that, to me, is why him going back to kansas did not work. there wasn't any catharsis in ted lasso's ending. it negates the thematic intent, as well as defies the narrative itself. a comedy can genre-bend into dramatic tragedy, yes, but not in the literal last hour. tragedies only work when they feel earned and cathartic. tragic heroes need their arcs to carry weight which feels worthwhile. ted lasso held none of these genre values

#maybe one day i will Get On Camera and record/edit a deep dive into the failure of ted lasso's s3 #anyways. cant believe im praising marvel for this

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skyflyinginaction · 1 year

Text

Character Design talks: Nene Yashiro

I love the art style of Toilet Bound Hanako-kun. It brings out the cuteness of the characters and the visual imagery of the story. The character designs also emphasize the personality of the character and are memorable because of the details in the designs. I wanted to talk about the designs of the characters.

Nene is the main topic of this discussion since Nene the protagonist has an interesting character design that stands out. Nene has a complicated yet simple character design, which is fitting since she has so many details that go with both her personality and role.

The series is embedded in Japanese culture so explaining this from a westerner’s perspective would come off as confusing to some.

Let's go over the basic elements of Nene's design since there are so many details in her design. I am going to break it down to the basic elements before I get to the details.

First, her eyes tell a lot about the character's personality, and Nene’s eyes are not any different; they explain who she is.

Nene has droopy eyes. Droopy eyes are called tareme eyes in Japanese.

When you see droopy eyes on characters you get the impression they are cute, docile, frail, gentle, kind, quiet, and soft-spoken, prone to worry about others. They are also considered healing types or a person whom you find relaxing, calming to be with, and peaceful due to the shape of the eye. Seeing droopy eyes on characters appear soft and innocent makes them feminine due to their shape.

But Nene is none of this in her personality.

Nene herself is not gentle or demure but plucky and spunky. But, the droopy eyes match Nene’s dreamy personality with the drooping eyes in her design giving Nene a dewy impression that makes her come off as a girl in love.

This idea is portrayed perfectly in Nene's overall personality: she is dreamy, idealistic, and clumsy; she's ditzy and slightly dense;

she is easily swayed by others and dragged into others' antics. She is easily fooled by appearances landing her in knee-deep trouble. Nene is hopelessly romantic but doesn’t have any luck with finding a guy which depresses her greatly. She is a pure girl who wants to be in love better yet Nene is in love with the idea of love which is the source of her problems with finding a date. Despite being selfish at times at heart she has that of an innocent, naive girl who falls in love. Nene’s design illustrates how she is a pure girl in love as seen by the droopy eyes.

Nene has one prominent shape: the circle.

Circles in character design are optimistic, pure, cute, emotional, cheerful, selfless, feminine, and expressive. This matches Nene's general personality traits: she is pure, naive, idealistic, ditzy, clumsy, and selfish. circles are used in relatable characters this infers nene is a normal girl even though she said so in the manga.

Nene's eyes are big and round which highlights their capacity to show more emotions. Her big eyes show more expression in the way they are drawn. Nene is expressive being one of the most emotive characters besides Ko and even is quick to react going into numerous misunderstandings and setting up for comedy.

Nene is emotional; she acts first before thinking and ends up dealing with the consequences for it later seen when she swallowed the mermaid scale. It also points to how Nene is outgoing, bright, and cheerful, she always remains optimistic hoping that things turn out fine. circles are considered cute because of their shape, Nene is considered cute by others. Circles are seen on feminine characters in character design due to how many soft curves they have. She is a girly girl.

Nene has selfless qualities as seen in how she protects Hanako. Another example of her selflessness is how she makes an effort to understand every single mystery even when they previously harmed her out of the selflessness in her heart. The pure aspect of the shape can be a reference to her naivete. Nene is idealistic, too: Nene doesn’t fully know how things work, as seen in how she never fully grasped how the afterlife works even after she declared to stay with Hanako. Despite Nene's flaws, her good traits balance her out making her a well-rounded person.

There's a faint circle on Nene’s face due to how her bangs are circles to her face.

Nene's bangs are rounded to fit her face. Her short bangs show her eyes and her face this highlights her capacity to show more emotions openly with no hidden sides to her character You can tell just how open Nene is by looking.

Nene has soft, fluffy, bouncy hair that moves in different directions. Her hair flowing in different directions references the expressive, emotional part of her personality; she is outwardly emotional as seen in the different directions of her hair. Feminine characters are drawn as Nene's hair is drawn to make her look softer.

The basic design components convey Nene's personality well to let you know that she's a girl in love. The next elements in her design convey her role and fate in the manga.

One thing about Nene is the black tights she wears. Nene wears tights because she is self-conscious of her fat ankles after being rejected by her crush.

Yashiro has an unusual hair color a blend of white and green Yashiro's hair color may not seem relevant at first but her hair color references Daikon's radishes.

Nene has the color from daikon radishes Aida colored her hair as a reference to Daikon radishes. Daikon radishes hold a significant purpose in Japanese culture: Daikon radishes are common food offerings in shrines and as a purifying food it is said to help naturalize any impurities in the body when eaten radishes have powers to cleanse people of their sins. They have a purifying effect on the body when eaten to become healthy which is why they're used as offering this is a reference to Nene being tasked with ripping off the seals of Yashiro’s as a way to purify the supernatural from going berserk. What people think of Daikon radishes is used to shame body image. Daikon legs are referred to as fat legs or ankles in Japan because some have lumpy or misshapen daikons.

The clips in Nene's hair are magatama. The magatama is a part of the imperial regalia of Japan and is Yashiro’s in the Shinto religion. Megatama has a connection to the supernatural and has strong connections to the spirit world which is why the magatama is the shape of a soul. This makes them religious objects often considered to have been used as amulets, talismans, or ritual items in japan magatama are used as ceremonial items in Shinto festivals worn by spiritual women. In Japanese media you see characters wearing magatama which refers to their profession with the supernatural or attuned to spirituality which is why magatamas are seen in priestesses or magical characters.

This notes Nene's role as a Kannagi or shrine maiden in Japanese whose job is to rip the seal off of Yashiro and her involvement with supernaturals after meeting Hanako.

People try to guess what the shape of the magatama could look like a fish which refers to. This references in how nene can transform into a fish after she ate the mermaid scale

There is a small hole called the keyhole, the keyhole shape in the magatama implies Nene unlocking certain truths in the story.

In late Joman magatama are largely buried in tombs occurring in graves as personal belongings. This can refer to Nene's death in the manga.

Another that the shape of the magatama represents is the moon. The jewel has the shape of a crescent moon. There are many debates, one of which is based on the shape of the crescent moon and the theory of the magatama being a symbol of the moon deity. It represents the overlapping shapes of the moon and sun. The moon has prominent symbolism with Nene which I will discuss in a moment.

Her second accessory is the skull brooch on her chest. The skull references her connection to the supernatural and ghosts. At first, the skull is seen as a reference to Nene's connection to supernaturals.

The skull could be Nene herself. The two spikes protruding on the skull broach looked like how her hair clips stick out. This is how she looked in the manga; her chibi form had spikes protruding from her head.

This is a subtle foreshadowing of Nene's death which we don’t find out until much later in the manga. The character design showed subtle foreshadowing of Nene's fate in the manga.

The small details in Nene's designs reference her status as a kannagi or priestess in Japanese. Nene’s design mimics a shrine maiden or kannagi or better yet the kannagi of no 7 with her job helping Hanako restore balance in the school and her eventual fate at the end when she tears all the yorishiro.

I spoke about the moon a lot in this post and I am going to explain in a minute, circles in Nene's design reference the moon due to its roundness. The moon symbolism fits Nene to a t. Nene is drawn next to the moon when she is speaking with Hanako.

The moon itself Has prominence in Japanese culture. It was mentioned many times in the story that the moon is featured in poems and art. a phrase coined by Soeseki Natsume on the moon, "The Moon Is Beautiful, Isn’t It? 月が綺麗ですね | tsuki ga kirei desu ne” the phrase is used as another way of saying I love you. The moon has a lot of romantic connotations used to express love “suki’ and “tsuki” sound similar when pronounced in Japanese. This sums up Nene’s character falling in love with any good-looking guy she sees. Nene is a big hopeless romantic for those who only look at the surface not underneath Nene's dreamy personality is a reference to how the Japanese admire the moon.

There is also a detail on her black tights. They have phases of the moon.

The phases of the moon symbolize age, life, and death, a reference to Nene’s death.

The moon itself references What Nene is to Hanako, that being is Nene is the moon which has been noted in the manga she is drawn by the moon to show that

Nene is Hanako's moon metaphorically and being big, bright, and beautiful that made Hanako fall in love with and save.

The moon rises and controls the tides. This reinforces the water imagery in the manga that is prevalent in the story.

Nene wears a sailor uniform to match the setting she is in. The reason why summer is the main setting of the manga is that summer in Japan is the season to tell ghost stories since the manga is talking about ghosts summer is an appreciated season.this originated from O-Bon the festival to celebrate one's ancestors that have become a gateway to the hell dead summer has become the season to tell ghost stories the idea to tell ghost stories in the summer comes from this. Her school uniform is a sailor uniform, the same one that sailors wore when they go out to sea. The sea is our reference to the water of the far shore which is full of supernaturals. The far shore has a lot of water.

There is an interesting detail about Nene's uniform in how it looks, other than being a stylized version of the sailor uniform the uniform highlights how girly Nene is. Nene's dress in her school uniform looks flowy like a tail of a fish, the ribbon having lines that resemble the scales of a fish. This is a reference to how Nene turns into a fish when splashed by water.

Another thing was not to reference Nene turning into a fish but if you look at Nene's chibi silhouette it looked like a ghost

which is a clever reference to the story featuring ghosts and supernaturals.

This is all I have for Nene's character design. It's interesting that he highlights both a pure girl in love and a priestess and her grim fate in her accessories and clothes. Nene is the character design. I have a lot of thoughts due to how much she has in the story. What I said could be wrong though and If you think so otherwise feel free to add or point it out. I would like to hear your opinion on Nene's character design.

#nene yashiro #toilet bound hanako kun #Character Design #jibaku shonen hanako kun #my meta

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