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kaladinkholins · 4 months

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Thinking about the crazy love triangle situation in Blue Eye Samurai and debating heavily with myself on how I'd like to see it conclude. And yeah this discussion can be thought of purely as shipping, headcanons, and fandom fun. But when analysing the show and engaging with it in a more in-depth, almost-literary level, it's impossible to dismiss who Mizu's potential love interests are and how different endgame romances would affect her character arc and the overall story and themes.

So in this post I'd like to look at the love triangle a bit more closely, and speculate on where the story will take this.

DISCLAIMER: It is my personal interpretation of the text that Mizu is non-binary—I use this as an umbrella term denoting any gender that does not adhere to the binary restrictions, norms, and expectations of what it means to be either a man or woman in a particular society; it's not just an androgynous "third gender" that exclusively uses they/them pronouns. Thus, while I personally believe Mizu is not strictly a cis woman, she does still identify with womanhood, despite definitely feeling a level of detachment from it due to living as a man for so long. With that being said, I will be using she/her pronouns for Mizu in this post, but please note that this is purely personal preference. Everyone is free to interpret the text the way they like. That's the fun of fiction. Now, without further ado, let's proceed.

Okay so, thinking about the pairings on a purely surface level, and even before i got into the show, I was pinning my hopes on some lesbianism going on between Mizu and Akemi, and the show does hint at this; in Ep1, during their first encounter in Kyoto, there is the famous slow-mo shot of their eyes meeting, Mizu's lips slightly parted as she is unable to tear her gaze away from Akemi, while sweet string music plays in the background. This is clear romantic framing, and a marker of attraction. If Mizu was a cishet man, there would be no question that this is a potential love interest.

But then, in the same episode, we meet Taigen, who is introduced to us firstly from hearing Akemi's father describe him as "a fierce and undefeated young samurai", the "best swordsman in the best school" and "a fisherman's son from Kohama [...] whose rise reminds [him] of [his] own."

In the next scene, we meet him in person as Akemi's fiance, and he seems sweet enough. He even gives her sweets! In exchange, Akemi gives him gold, and he feels a bit ashamed that he doesn't have anything better to offer her. But Akemi accepts him and his gift wholeheartedly and flirts with him a little, which makes him smile kinda shyly.

When Akemi confirms their engagement, Taigen is in disbelief because he has no status or noble background, but Akemi reassures him.

So from these first few scenes, we're introduced to Taigen as an honourable and strong samurai, but also as a man who is sweet and gentle with the woman he is about to marry, as well as aware of his own inferiority when compared to Akemi's high station.

Our view of him then changes as his true self is revealed: he is an arrogant and smug bastard among his peers, but more importantly, he is the terrible bully from Mizu's childhood.

And it is this side of Taigen--pompous jerk and unrepentant xenophobic bully--that we continue to see as the show goes on, and it's safe to say that this is his real self, sans any pretense of humility and modesty. Around anyone who isn't an outright superior in terms of class and power (ie. Akemi's father, the shogun), Taigen never hesitates to assert his own authority and "greatness."

But as the show goes on, he gets caught by Heiji Shindo's men, and then tortured. And that's when we see, okay, turns out he's not that bad. He's honourable; "honour" is not just meaningless and superficial pedantry for him, but an internalised, guiding principle.

He was a cruel asshat throughout Mizu's childhood, but in a prejudiced and xenophobic society, he was just playing by the rules. As a child, he knew he was at the bottom of society, but when met with someone even lower ranked than him (Mizu), he can project all those prejudices and insecurities onto someone else. This way of thinking--"if you can't beat 'em, join em"--is what allowed him to climb up the ranks despite being some dirt poor kid from an abusive household*.

*Well, that combined with his cismale privilege of course, because this would not be an option for a woman in similar circumstances.

Thus, his upholding of honour also exemplifies how Taigen embodies the ideals and rules of his society. His insistence on duelling Mizu is another more blatant example of this. He doesn't want revenge like Mizu does. He wants to be accepted by society, within the bounds that society has placed, and that means that his only two options following his defeat at the Shindo dojo were to either chase Mizu down and get his damn duel, or kill himself for his humiliating defeat.

Now! Moving on from Taigen, let's go back to the other end of this little love triangle: Akemi.

Mizu and Akemi only properly meet in Ep4. During their first meeting, when Akemi tries to poison Mizu in Madame Kaji's brothel, she compliments Mizu's eyes, calling them "beautiful."

This seems to genuinely take mizu off-guard for a second before she coolly plays along. We know that Mizu recognises Akemi from the get-go, and thus sees through Akemi's ploy from a mile away. It's also safe to assume she'd expected false flattery, because Mizu understands full well that this tactic is how women get what they want: by using their 'feminine wiles' and playing up their naivety and innocence. But even so, it's interesting that Mizu actually seems surprised by Akemi's compliment.

Then, after Mizu subtly taunts Akemi by lying about Taigen's death, she and Akemi have a bit of a scuffle, and then we get to Mizu saying this:

"Women in our world don't have a single good option. Except you, like some magical forest creature. You could have anything you want, but then you beg to eat trash."

(no screenshot because it's quite a long line but you get it)

Here we see Mizu's opinions on the marginalisation of (mostly poor and under-privileged) women stated outright, and underlying her words is also resentment. Because even though she and Akemi have shared experiences of female oppression, Mizu, unlike Akemi, was also poor, from a rural village, and is a racial minority. Mizu is triply oppressed, while Akemi only faces one primary form of oppression, and to someone as embittered by the world as Mizu is, to see Akemi "beg to eat trash" is a slap in the face, practically tone-deaf to the other injustices around her--injustices which Akemi has not shown much, or any, acknowledgement for at this point.

Then, after this scene, Mizu kills Kinuyo, and this unsettles her to a degree we've never seen from her before. She is visibly distraught, and the entire sequence hammers the theme of this episode (and arguably, a large portion of the show) into our heads: women in this world suffer. And even though Mizu is well aware of this fact, to commit this act is so visceral that is shakes her to her core, and it's what ultimately leads to the ambush of the Thousand Fangs.

But before the ambush, Mizu and Akemi talk a little again, and during this time Akemi taunts Mizu some more.

Right now, Mizu is exhausted to the point where (I believe) she even downs some sake, despite not usually drinking. Thus, worn down, she cuts Akemi's ropes and tells her, "Just go." Akemi recovers from her initial fear of Mizu's blade and taunts her some more, accurately seeing through Mizu's facade of coldness, recognising the raw anger there, and says this:

"I thought you had to be something special. Your face isn't even so scary. You're just... angry."

At this, Mizu is amused and compares Akemi to Taigen ("I see why he likes you. You're just like Taigen when we were children. A fucking brat.")

The reveal that Mizu and Taigen knew each other in childhood surprises Akemi, but before either of them can say more, everything goes to shit.

That's when we get to Ep5. This episode focuses primarily on Mizu, the central piece of this love triangle, and does the most out of all the episodes to shed some light on her character and goals, fleshing her out to be more than just the vengeful, highly proficient samurai we've seen thus far (symbolised by The Ronin), but also a person who is capable of love, domesticity and gentleness (symbolised by The Bride). But in the end, Mizu rejects both these ideals, instead becoming an Onryo, who is neither guided by pride/honour, nor love.

By 'reincarnating' into an Onryo, Mizu is able to win the day and save the women in the brothel. However, as she has now fully embraced her status as an Onryo, and is exhausted physically, mentally, and emotionally, she lets the Tokunobu clansmen take Akemi away while Akemi's screams echo in her ear.

Mizu says this choice is for Akemi's own good, that Akemi's better off; because Mizu is jaded and weary, and cannot afford the luxury of idealism, and thus must always be strictly practical and realistic. So of course that's why, in her view, yes, Akemi should not be wasting her time in a brothel where women are exploited and abused, nor should Akemi be so naive to think that her marriage with Taigen is even still possible. However, regardless of Mizu's views, it is not for her to decide, because though Akemi is privileged in some sense, she is still trapped and voiceless, and deserves the right to choose her own destiny.

But as it happens, in the end, though Akemi did not choose who she gets to marry, she DOES get to choose her next move when Edo burns down.

"I want to be great."

This one line is the key to her entire arc, which is only just beginning. We see she quickly has acquired the affection and good graces of the shogun's son after their wedding night and consummation, and with Madame Kaji and the girls now serving her, Akemi will only grow to become a prominent political player.

NOW, only after analysing the characters as they are within this season, only can we speculate how their arcs will continue as the show progresses.

First and foremost, I will reassert the popular opinion that Mizu and Akemi are foils. The climax (pun intended) of Ep7 illustrates this as it parallels the turning points in both Mizu's and Akemi's arcs:

Mizu melts the steel of all her loves and shames, the people she's collected: the broken blade wielded by both Chiaki and Taigen, Akemi's knife, Ringo's bell, Master Eiji's tongs - this symbolises her beginning to accept herself, and in doing so, also accepting the help of others;

Akemi consummates her marriage with Takayoshi Itoh, gains his affection, and cements her position as a woman in the shogun's palace - this symbolises her taking charge of her situation, no longer playing the damsel, but using her position to her advantage, empowering both herself and the underprivileged women around her.

These are thus two directly contrasting, diverging journeys:

Mizu's arc moves inward (yin). It is an internal path of self-love and self-discovery, focused on finding peace and tranquility inside herself, and this involves allowing herself to let others into her life, opening herself up to friendship and empathy once more.

Akemi's arc moves outward (yang), it is an external path of growth, transforming from a naive, caged princess to a powerful woman and a force to be reckoned with.

Akemi is always dressed in red, even her eyes are a bit of a reddish-brown rather than brown-black like most other characters, and in her penultimate scene she stands against a backdrop of flames. She is fire: quick-tempered, passionate, full of energy. Red is powerful, authoritative, and in eastern cultures, it is associated with prosperity.

Mizu is blue: her eyes, her sword, her clothes. She is also named after water; it's where she goes to recover, reflect and meditate. Water is fluid like a brook weaving around a stone in its path, always changing and adapting, it is graceful, it is beautiful and ruthless, tranquil yet swift.

Thus, in the future, I expect we will see plenty of political manoeuvring and intrigue in Akemi's plotline, where she fully embraces control of her life, and begins to take action to help others as well, realising that her own oppression is just one piece in a much larger picture. Her main conflict is with society.

In direct contrast, Mizu's main conflict is with herself. She must realise that her desire for vengeance is a projection of her own deep-rooted self-hatred. Her arc must move towards unpacking her feelings and trauma so she can be at peace with herself and allow space for love in her heart. Because as we saw in Ep5, Mizu had come extremely close to achieving peace and joy, as she had not only loved Mikio, but also had briefly believed that Mikio had loved her (and accepted her for who she is) as well.

Thus, assuming the story is not planned as a tragedy, Mizu will likely end up getting her vengeance, but it will not satisfy her, because it is not what she needs. What she needs is to let go of the Onryo within her and to reconcile both The Ronin and The Bride within herself, as she is both a fighter and a lover, but not a monster.

(Edit: I recommend checking out this post by @stylographic-blue-rhapsody for a much clearer analysis about Mizu'a symbolism as Ronin, Bride and Onryo!)

And now that we've mostly covered each of the characters individually, we can finally get to the main point of this post: the love triangle.

Let's talk about Option A: Akemi.

As I covered extensively earlier, Mizu and Akemi are foils, a yin-yang pair. But while they play off each other very well in a thematic sense, I personally believe that a serious romance between them will be more complicated if they become endgame. This is because Akemi's natural resolution is to embrace a position of power and influence, where she has both freedom and control over herself and to make much-needed changes in a prejudiced society. Meanwhile, Mizu's natural resolution is the opposite; her happy ending would to find a peaceful life where she is safe and free from prying eyes, and able to be her true self.

Thus, it would make very little sense for Akemi to forfeit power and run away with Mizu and start a humble life together. Akemi wants to be great, and that is absolutely what she deserves. On the other end of the spectrum, it would also make little sense for Mizu to dedicate her life in service of Akemi, such as acting as a bodyguard or something similar, because a life in a palace full of court intrigue and conspiracies is far from what Mizu needs to be happy.

With that being said, if Mizu/Akemi is endgame, and assuming their overarching character arcs do not shift directions, their love story would likely be either tragic, doomed, or bittersweet. I do absolutely love this type of story because personally I'm a sucker for catharsis, so it would be very interesting if the writers do decide to take this route.

Also, as a note, please do not take this as me dunking on this pairing. This is just my personal opinion and analysis and I completely understand if you disagree!

Then, of course, we have Option B: Taigen.

Between Akemi and Mizu, Taigen is a bit of a free-floater here, because Season 1 leaves off at a point where his arc is very ambiguous as to where it's headed. While Akemi climbs for greatness and Mizu goes on a journey across the ocean to (presumably) discover more about her heritage, we have little clues about where Taigen is headed. And if I'm being honest, I'm sure he has no idea either! He still hasn't reclaimed his honour, so he would be unable to rejoin the Shindo Dojo; he's been rejected by Akemi; and while he showed loyalty to the shogun, the shogun is now dead, and all the shogun's men who had witnessed his "humiliating" death were left to die by Lady Itoh, who is now pulling the strings within the palace.

Therefore, Taigen has very few options here.

And when considering his role in the story is as Mizu's begrudging ally, his arc will undoubtedly be focused on unlearning his xenophobia and misogyny, the latter of which we have not seen yet, but is surely present. Now, whether he will do this in Mizu's presence or absence will be unknown until we see Season 2. Following the Season 1 finale, he might return to Kohama and wait for Mizu there as he learns humility and remorse over his past cruelty; or maybe he will follow Mizu to London, and the two of them will continue to butt heads until he finally admits to himself that he cares for Mizu more than he would like to admit. There is no room for doubt that his growing feelings for Mizu are more-than-platonic, because we all saw him get turned on by sparring with her in Ep7 lol. Thus, regardless of the exact choice he makes, I am sure that his overall arc will be focused on redeeming his character.

Now, when it comes go redeeming him, I know there are many who simply don't want him redeemed because he was such a jerk to Mizu, and while yes I agree he was awful, I do believe there is also nuance to his character.

Previously I've discussed in great detail the colour and elemental symbolism with Mizu and Akemi, but have yet to touch on how they relate to Taigen. So, let's talk about that for a second.

While Akemi is red and Mizu is blue, Taigen is green.

Green is a complementary colour to Akemi's red. Complementary colours are directly opposite each other in the colour wheel; when mixed, they neutralise each other, but when put side-by-side, they form a pleasing and impactful contrast that boosts the brightness and prominence of both colours. This mirrors Taigen and Akemi's relationship. They are an "ideal" pair because they complement each other very well, and bring out each other's most prominent traits. Mizu's comment about their similar "brattiness" comes to mind here.

Green is also an analogous colour with Mizu's blue. These colours are sitting right next to each other on the colour wheel; their natural similarity makes it easy for them to form a cohesive overall appearance, but using both in equal amounts will make a design overwhelming and too busy. Thus, the best way to use analogous colours is to make one the dominant colour, while the other will serve as an accent. I feel this also speaks to the dynamic in Taigen and Mizu's relationship. They came from the space place, both from nothing; they're both strong fighters who love the sport, and work well together when fighting side-by-side; however, they butt heads too easily, mirroring how analogous colours can be too overwhelming when used in equal amounts. Thus, to work together in harmony, one has to be the dominant colour, while the other serves as the accent. In this case, the dominant force would be Mizu, as she is the protagonist of the story, while the accent would be Taigen.

By fulfilling this role as an "accent" to Mizu, Taigen's character would easily be slotted in as a the love interest. This is in contrast with a Mizu/Akemi relationship, whereby Akemi is Mizu's foil before she is Mizu's love interest. This is because, by being a love interest, a character usually takes a backseat in the story, serving the plot and the themes by playing a purely supportive role, and this is not possible in Akemi's case because her character exists to parallel and contrast Mizu (red and blue), and not to support her.

It is possible to serve as a supporting love interest in Taigen's case however. And this is because he, unlike the other characters, does not currently have a definitive place within the story. He initially served the plot as an antagonistic force, but now as he is slowly unlearning his prejudices and becoming a better person, he can no longer serve the story by acting purely as a rival.

Instead, he will serve the story by literally supporting Mizu. And this relates to Taigen being earth, which is steady, firm and reliable, unwavering in loyalty and principles, hardworking and rooted in stability, which is seen in Taigen's staunch and inflexible obedience to the traditions and rules of society. These traits are what make him a perfect samurai, but not a good man. However, unlike most people in their world, Taigen is still capable of change and redemption, which is why Mizu says that he has the potential to be great. Not great by way of power or glory, but great in character. Already, he is honourable to a fault, and does not betray Mizu even after she technically robbed him of everything he was striving towards. And when he was shot by an arrow in the chasm, he did not hesitate a second to tell Mizu to use him as a human shield and save herself.

The trigger for his redemption is Mizu. If she had never beat him in that duel, Taigen would live on to become a man like Akemi's father. Cruel, power-hungry, controlling, conservative. But through Mizu, Taigen's sharp edges are ground down, much like water that wears down the stones in a river.

Where Mizu and Akemi's possible love story would be a clash of wills, full of passion and even heartbreak, a possible love story between Mizu and Taigen would be the wearing down of souls. Mizu would make Taigen a better person, and in turn Taigen would dedicate his full respect and support to Mizu as his equal, thus getting her to slowly open up and love herself. Already, Taigen has grown enough to admit (begrudgingly, and in his own Taigen way) that Mizu is better than him; though, clearly, he still has a long way to go, as he still calls Mizu a demon shortly after that.

But basically, Taigen is a very simple man (his main goal now is "to be happy"), and Mizu has great depths that he cannot yet fathom. For this love story to work, it has to begin with Taigen changing for the better. If he succeeds in that, and is able to accept Mizu for all her complexities, I believe that they will make a formidable pair. And though he'd likely still throw a jab or snarky remark at Mizu every now and then, I think he'd come tl wholeheartedly admire Mizu as a brilliant swordsman and a kind soul. Thus, should things work out and this be endgame, Taigen would be able to provide Mizu with what Mikio could not: an idyllic life that is not built on a lie, but mutual trust, respect, admiration, and equality.

Or hey, maybe they could both make their own dojo together! I don't know.

(Edit: This post by @rinandsketches does a great job at delving into Taigen's character and a potential Mizu/Taigen relationship if you'd like to read more about this angle!)

Now, as I move on from Taigen, there are a couple more options on how to resolve this love triangle and that includes Option C: Ringo.

In this option, Mizu does not have an endgame romance with either Akemi or Taigen. In this route, she finds peace and love through friendship, solidarity, and a found family between herself, Ringo and Master Eiji—a bunch of outcasts in society who make a strong trifecta of sword-makers.

Also, as an aside while I'm talking about Ringo, I'd like to point out that I believe his element is air and his colour is a neutral grey; he is talkative, easy-going, wise, curious, light on his feet (stealthy) and free-spirited, which are all traits linked to air, and traits that complement Mizu nicely, as he is capable of getting Mizu to open up and trust others again, while Mizu helps him reach his true potential for greatness.

And finally, there's Option D: Polyamory.

This is basically an "all of the above" option, in which everyone wins and it's a super duper happy ending. It would also be awesome to get some polyamorous representation, and seeing the dynamic between Akemi/Mizu/Taigen play out would be very entertaining and refreshing. So, you never know, this just might be the true endgame!

AAAAND with that, I close my extremely long analysis of what is essentially Mizu's love life. Whatever the final outcome of this love triangle though, I just hope it will be well-written and satisfying to all the characters' respective arcs. (Also I just want Mizu to be HAPPY goddamn it because she deserves the world and her coochie eaten out)

Now, I highly doubt anyone will read any of this (especially not until the end!) but that's fine. I just have so many thoughts and feelings about this show and I just needed to get this out of my system lol! But if by some miracle you did read this far, I wholeheartedly welcome any sharing of thoughts and ideas because man am I obsessed with this show! But of course, if we have an opposing opinions, please be respectful when letting me know; I am very open to friendly discussions.

#blue eye samurai #mizu x taigen #mizu x akemi #mizu blue eye samurai #mizu x akemi x taigen #blue eye samurai meta #also if you ask me PERSONALLY. based on my own analysis which you can read above. personally i'm placing my bets on option b (mizutaigen)#and this is simply bcs i think mizu deserves nice things and that includes getting dicked down and pampered and worshipped #whoops who said that #also mizu deserves to live a life where she can hand taigen's ass to him on a daily basis. ykwim.#BUT i am def open to a change of opinion regarding the mizuakemi rship as the story progresses #i just dont want the writers to reduce akemi into nothing but a love interest for mizu #the only way i can see a happy mizuakemi endgame scenario is if blue eye samurai becomes purely an angsty romance story #in which case then yes i fully endorse the akemi ending <3 #but that would probs require a whole genre overhaul? bcs currently the show is firstly an action-epic where the romance is just a subplot #but even tho i dont reeeeally want a mizuakemi endgame i still DEF want mizu & akemi to be romantically and/or sexually involved plsss <3 #like they cant have that slow-mo shot between the two of them as their first encounter and NOT DO ANYTHING W IT!!!#also i want mizu to be at LEAST a little sapphic plsplspls #shut up haydar #meta dissertations.pdf #haydar's fandom posts #i wrote this whole thing while delirious and covid positive

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leafjoon · 4 months

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Between the lines - pt. II

words: 5k warnings: swearing, alcohol, age gap, slight angst, jealousy, mentions of cheating, smut, spitting, one slap, unprotected sex, daddy kink (barely). its also v fluffy n has aftercare

It was Saturday evening, and you decided to go out with your friends and enjoy yourself a little. You knew you deserved it after the absurd week you had. You finally turned those pages to Alex in time, cramming and staying home almost every night—the assignments you had neglected piled up, and you had to catch up.

But none of that mattered tonight. No, tonight you would have fun with your friends and let loose. Most importantly, you wanted to ignore the desire that had crept up on you for your editor since that night.

"Let's do shots!" your friend Rachel yelled out. You chuckled at her enthusiasm, deciding to join in. "Tequila?"

"You know it," she replied with a wink. It was half past eleven, and most of you were already drunk.

After you ordered your shots, everyone quickly shot them down their throats, some scrunching up their faces due to the sour taste. "God, this never fails to fuck me up," you said.

As you were listening to Sophie rambling about in her drunken state, you spotted a familiar figure out of the corner of your eye. Squinting a little, you weren't sure if it was him. He looked like one of your ex-boyfriends. You quickly turned, not wanting him to see you.

Things had gone sour with him last year when you found out he had been talking to another girl behind your back. You were stupid to trust him. His lack of insincerity was evident to everyone else but you.

You huffed, not wanting to bring down the mood but getting agitated at the reminder of his existence and the insecurities he had brought out of you.

"Show me your phone," you said sternly, your nostrils flaring up. You felt insane for making such a demand, but your gut told another story.

"What the fuck? You've gone crazy," he said, letting out a chuckle.

"James. Just show me your last text, and we can forget about this. Okay?" you said, pleading with him. You wanted to trust him.

He looked at you, his face laced with guilt, and looked away. "No."

You let out a shaky breath. "Get out," you whispered. You knew exactly what this meant. You felt your chest tighten.

"What?" he asked, confused and angry.

"Get the fuck out!" you screamed at him, tears forming in your eyes. "I don't want to see you." Your heart was thumping in your chest.

He looked at you and clenched his jaw. Grabbing his coat, he let out a huff of disbelief and left.

“(Y/N)?” Sophie called out your name.

Your eyes, completely zoned out, now focused on Sophie's face. "Huh?"

"Have you been listening to anything I've been saying?"

"Uh. Yeah. Sure," you said, nodding, trying to be convincing, and taking a sip of your drink.

"Whatever," she rolled her eyes at you, visibly annoyed.

"Sorry, I'm just drunk," you told her, pouting a little and giving your drink to her as a peace offering.

Your eyes searched for the exit, beckoning you to take a much-needed break outside. A quick smoke and a breath of fresh air sounded good. You weren't a smoker, but this situation called for it.

"Hey, can I grab a cig?" you asked one of your guy friends, Finn, as you pulled him in for a hug from behind. "Sure," he said, extending his pack of cigarettes to you.

When you went outside, you were met with a cool breeze. You lit up your cigarette, bringing it to your mouth, and felt slightly calmer as you exhaled the smoke.

Suddenly, you heard a voice from behind calling your name. “(Y/N)? Is that you?"

You froze. No. You didn't turn around, hoping he would leave you alone.

"Hey," he approached you with a slight smirk. "Started smoking, huh?"

"No, not really," you said in a dull tone, glancing at him for a split second and then looking away.

"Haven't seen you in a while. How've you been?"

"Fine, thanks," you replied, slightly turning away from him. You hoped you didn't have to cause a scene to get him to leave.

"What, that's it?" he chuckled.

"I came out here to avoid people, James," you said, looking anywhere but in his direction.

"Come on, lighten up," he rolled his eyes.

Your head snapped. You were about to throw a snarky remark at him when you heard a low voice calling you. “(Y/N).”

When you turned around, a pair of gentle eyes met you. Your face immediately fell into a relieved expression, and you smiled. "Alex?"

James turned to look at him, eyeing him up. As Alex approached the two of you, he sensed your discomfort.

He talked to James and exchanged pleasantries. Alex wanted to snatch you away, not let him have the time of day with you.

"Do you mind if I steal her for a second, mate?" he asked, not waiting for a response. "Sure," James uttered, his intense gaze settling on him.

You and Alex started walking away from him, turning around the corner and settling in an alleyway.

"What a nice surprise." You said, your cheeks flushed. You took note of his appearance. He was wearing a white t-shirt with a brown blazer. His hair styled as usual, with a few strands falling on his face. He looked gorgeous.

"You seemed uncomfortable earlier," he furrowed his brows. "You alright?" he asked, squeezing your arm.

You shivered slightly from his touch. "I-uh. Yeah. Thank you for that. I didn't know how to get away," you admitted.

"Who was that anyway?" he asked, his eyes glued on your face, taking in all your expressions.

"Just some dickhead. You know how terrible college guys are."

He chuckled lightly. "I do. I used to be one."

"Oh, were you also a dickhead?" you joked.

"I don't think so." You laughed. He smiled, admiring you.

"So, you've taken up smoking in the three days we haven't seen each other?" he teased you.

"No," you laughed shyly. "Just really needed one right now."

"Care to light mine then?" he asked, his eyes glinting.

You brought your lighter close to his face, feeling his faint breath on your hand.

"Thanks," he blew the smoke the other way.

"What are you doing here?" you asked, sounding like you were interrogating him.

"Well, you know, sometimes we older people like to go out too."

You laughed, slapping his shoulder lightly.

"No, actually, I was passing through on my way home. Then I saw a familiar little head."

"Oh. Well, that's lucky," you smiled.

His gaze lingered on you. His pants slightly tightened when he took notice of your flimsy outfit.

You were wearing a thick jean jacket covering your dark blouse. Your breasts peeked out of your top, revealing your supple skin.

Alex felt himself growing jealous, imagining the amount of men that leered at you throughout the night. A beautiful girl like you, he was sure they were foaming at the mouth.

You suddenly felt shy under his gaze and looked away. Your phone vibrated, and you took it out of your pocket, slightly humming.

"Where the hell are u?" Finn had texted you.

You checked the clock, and it was already 12:07 am. You felt a little tired and wondered if heading home would be a good idea.

"Friends?" Alex interrupted your thoughts.

"Yeah. They're wondering where I went." He nodded.

"Think I'm gonna go home, though. I'm getting a bit sleepy," you said, glancing at him and waiting for his reaction.

"Sure." He replied.

You tried again. "You know, the apartment I'm staying at isn't that far from this bar," you looked at him expectantly.

"Would you like me to walk you?" he said softly.

"Sure." You mimicked him.

After saying goodbye to your friends, you returned outside, meeting Alex by the door.

The apartment was only a fifteen-minute walk from there, but it felt much quicker than that. You had good company, after all.

You started shivering a bit, crossing your arms to emit heat.

Alex took notice of that and came closer to you. He removed his jacket and draped it over your shoulders, one of his hands lingering on your arm.

You felt your body tense at the close contact. He slowly let his hand fall as you were walking.

"Don't you live in a dorm?" he asked.

"I do. I'm cat-sitting for one of my friends. She went to visit her family for the weekend."

He nodded. "Is the cat behaving?"

You chuckled. "He's adorable. You have to see him."

A smile played on Alex's lips as you both arrived at your friend's apartment. The evening had been enjoyable, yet you felt a subtle disappointment as you stood there. You hesitated, not wanting to say goodbye.

"Do you want to come in?" you asked as you met his gaze.

His eyes flickered to yours. Silence stretched between you, and he struggled to find the right words.

"I, uh... It's getting a bit late for me," he finally said, his gaze momentarily dropping.

"Okay," you replied, your gaze shifting downward, a sense of vulnerability washing over you. You handed Alex his jacket, your fingers lightly grazing.

"It was nice seeing you again," he said, his fingers gently brushing a strand of hair that had fallen across your face. The touch lingered, leaving a trail of warmth.

"Night, Alex," you replied, your gaze fixed on him. As he turned to leave, the quiet echo of your thoughts filled the space, leaving you to wonder about the possibilities that danced in the corners of the night.

As the days passed, you were distracted by endless thoughts about your editor. It became evident, especially during class. Images of his warm smile, big hands, and fluffy hair filled your mind. You felt yourself growing more drawn to him whenever you weren't together.

When your professor dismissed the class, you realized you had been daydreaming about him almost the entire time and scribbling gibberish in your notebook. You let out a long sigh and started gathering your belongings, stuffing them in your bag.

Sophie joined you as you exited the class. "God, can he give us any more assignments?" she let out a huff of frustration. "What assignment?" you asked.

"Didn't you hear him?" she asked. "No," you shrugged.

She laughed. "What were you doing? I kept looking at you, and you seemed so zoned out."

"Oh. Nothing. I was thinking about my novel," you blurted out.

"How's that going, by the way? Is Mr. Turner treating you well?" she asked.

Mr. Turner. Oh boy.

"Sure! I mean-yeah, no he's great," you stuttered.

"Okay..." she glanced over to you. "So what are you doing today?" you asked, changing the topic.

You quickly returned to your dorm room, not wanting to run into anyone else you knew. When you entered your room, you kicked off your shoes, threw your bag somewhere on the floor, and flung yourself on your sofa. You groaned. What the hell were you supposed to do with these overwhelming feelings?

Flicking your phone open, you saw a text message from Alex. Your heart started racing.

Hi. I hope you're well. I will not be available tonight to help with your assignments. Would it be all right if we rescheduled for tomorrow?

You felt a pang of disappointment as you read the text. You had felt so jittery all morning and couldn't wait to see him, and now this. Sighing, you replied to him and immediately texted Sophie. You needed to go out tonight.

You made dinner plans with your best friend and decided to try out a new restaurant that had opened downtown. The menu looked amazing, and the prices were pretty decent. Your parents had always been generous with you about money, but you made sure to save and indulge occasionally.

As you entered the restaurant, you felt a warm ambiance enveloped you. The smooth jazz tunes filled the place, and the hostess escorted you to a free table nearby.

When you sat down, you and Sophie excitedly looked through the menu and ordered your drinks and meal. While Sophie was telling you about her latest situationship, your eyes wandered around the restaurant, taking in the beautifully decorated place.

The warm lights cast a beautiful glow on your friend, and you listened as she told you about the intense chemistry she felt with this guy. "Ugh, I don't know, there's just something about him." her eyes sparkled.

"You mean the incredible sex you're having?" you said playfully.

She cracked up. "I mean…among other things."

"So why aren't you making it official?"

"I don't know (Y/N). I'm unsure if I want to be in a relationship right now. It seems like too much work. I got my plate full with everything going on," she sighed.

You nodded, glancing behind Sophie. She continued talking about how he wanted to see her all the time. Wait-You thought you spotted someone. Was that Alex?

Your gaze focused on him. He was seated at a distant table, laughing with the woman beside him. Your mouth slightly dropped, and your eyes fixated on them.

Frozen in your seat, you felt a surge of emotions within you, the sight creating a knot of unease in your stomach. What the hell? Had he canceled on you to go out with some woman?

You swallowed thickly, and Sophie noticed the change in your demeanor. "Hey, you okay?"

"Uh-yeah," you replied. "Who do you keep staring at?" she said, looking over her shoulder.

Then she spotted the man who preoccupied your mind. "Oh, is that Mr. Turner? Should we go up to him?"

"No! I mean, he seems busy," you lowered your gaze.

"Yeah, I guess he's got a hot date," she giggled.

You nodded, taking a large swig of your wine. You prayed he wouldn't see you. The last thing you needed right now was for him to notice how stupid you looked.

You cringed, hearing their distant laughter and shared joy starkly contrasting to the quiet ache that tightened within you.

You decided to distract yourself and urged Sophie to continue telling you about the boy she was seeing. "Well, at least one of us is getting some action," you joked, feeling slightly bitter.

You tried to enjoy your meal and ignore the pit in your stomach. Forcing yourself to focus only on Sophie, you refilled your wine glass and continued talking to her.

Later in the evening, you noticed that their table had become empty. Glancing over, you caught a glimpse of Alex and the woman leaving, and an inexplicable mix of relief and regret washed over you.

You were thankful he didn't see you and talk to you, but at the same time, you couldn't believe he blew you off to go on a date. He didn't owe you anything. After all, he was only your editor.

That night, tipsy and emotional, you stumbled to your dorm room. How were you going to face him tomorrow and ignore your growing feelings? In your drunken haze, you decided that was a decision for sober you to deal with, and you went to sleep, comforted by the spinning room.

The next day arrived with a weight on your shoulders that matched the dull ache in your head from last night. As you walked to Alex's place, slightly hungover, the memory of him having dinner with another woman gnawed at your thoughts.

You awkwardly entered his house, exchanged a few words with him, and immediately buried your nose in your assignment, minimizing any chances of small talk. Alex finally spoke up after an hour of you struggling to make any progress.

"Is something the matter (Y/N)?" he asked gently.

"What do you mean?" you mumbled.

"You seem agitated today." He sighed.

"I'm fine," you huffed.

"Are you sure? We aren't getting anywhere with this assignment," he continued, face laced with concern.

You clenched your jaw. How the hell could you? Oh yeah, well, I thought I felt a spark with you, but that went to shit when I saw you having dinner with a gorgeous woman. Not to mention, I'm probably insane for even thinking there was something between us.

You sighed. "Nothing is wrong; let's just finish this," you murmured.

"I don't think that's a good idea," he pressed.

"Why not?" you said, annoyed.

"We've been stuck in this section for an hour. Maybe we should take a break, or you can go home and rest," he replied, his worried eyes meeting yours.

Oh, so now he's kicking me out. Fuck this shit.

"Fine. I'll go," you spat out, getting up and grabbing your papers and notebook roughly.

He stared at you, confused, wondering if he had struck a chord in you.

"Hey," he said gently. "Hold on."

You ignored him and continued gathering your things.

"(Y/N)."

Disregarding him, you shoved everything into your bag.

"Will you stop acting like a brat and tell me what's wrong?" he said, slightly irritated.

You looked at him in disbelief. "Excuse me?" You swallowed thickly. "You wanna know what's wrong?"

You huffed. "I saw you!"

His head tilted in confusion. "Saw me where?"

"The other night, with that woman," you blurted, the words leaving your mouth faster than your thoughts could catch up.

You continued, "Am I crazy for thinking that- that," you stuttered.

Groaning, you ran your fingers through your hair.

"That what?" he asked quietly.

"Nothing," you replied.

"(Y/N)," he said, his voice softening, "why are you making such a fuss?"

Your attempts to brush off the situation faltered. "I-" Your voice caught in your throat. "It seemed like you were on a date," you finally said.

He stared at you for a moment, his expression softening. "I wasn't on a date. I was catching up with an old friend."

You couldn't meet his gaze, your eyes fixated on your hands.

The weight of the misunderstanding pressed on your shoulders.

"Why does it matter if I was on a date or not?" he asked, a genuine curiosity in his tone.

"It doesn't. You're allowed to do whatever you want," you whispered.

"But you don't want me to, right?" he pressed, with a hint of concern.

You looked at him, your expression uncertain. "Whatever. I'm gonna go. Please forget I said anything," you mumbled, hurrying towards the exit.

"Hey, hey," he said, grabbing your forearm gently but just enough to stop you. "Is this why you've been so moody and distracted all day? Because you thought I was seeing someone?"

You shrugged, feeling embarrassed. "You canceled our session to see her," you mumbled.

He sighed. "Let's sit down and talk about this, okay?"

You mumbled an 'okay' and followed him to the couch.

He started, "I wasn't on a date, and I certainly don't want you to think I'm not considerate of your feelings. I did cancel our session to see her, and I apologize. She's only here for a few days before returning to Sheffield, where she lives with her husband."

"Oh," you said quietly.

"Maybe I should've communicated better," he said, running a hand through his hair.

"It's fine, I guess," you muttered.

"I'm sorry. You mean a lot to me, (Y/N)," he smiled at you, putting a hand over yours.

He scooted closer to you, his face merely a few inches away from yours, and your breaths mingled in the small space between you. Alex's eyes lingered on your lips.

Your heart started racing. With a slow movement, Alex leaned in, capturing your lips in a passionate kiss. You felt a wildfire of emotions as the kiss intensified, leaving you breathless.

Barely pulling away, he whispered, "How 'bout I show you how I feel about you?"

You felt a flutter of anticipation in your stomach and nodded in response.

His hand found its way to the back of your neck as he pressed his lips against yours again. His other hand settled on your thigh, his fingertips tickling your skin. His tongue slid against yours, massaging it gently.

He pulled away slightly, panting, "Do you want to go upstairs?" You nodded.

He dragged you upstairs to his bedroom, the air charged with desire. His eyes were filled with an intensity you couldn't ignore.

Alex's hands found the small of your back, pulling you closer. His lips found yours once again, slipping his tongue inside your mouth, letting you taste him again.

He guided you to his bed, and you sank into the mattress, sprawling beneath him.

He settled on top of you and pressed his body against yours. His nimble fingers squeezed your thighs as his half-hard member rested between your legs. You gasped quietly when you felt him on your arousal, feeling his hot breath tickling your skin.

He sighed as one of his hands found its way to your cheek, grazing it lightly. You felt soft, just like he'd imagined. He gently pressed his lips to yours, and you opened your mouth, your tongues tangling.

You let out a sound when his other large hand came down to caress your waist, settling below your breast.

He broke the kiss with a smack, leaned down, and whispered in your ear, "I'm gonna make you feel so good, sweetheart," his words sending goosebumps all over your body.

As he left a trail of hot kisses and bites down your neck, he made sure to suck a spot, marking you. He wanted to ruin you. Pleasure you until he was the only thing on your mind.

"Alex," you sighed, bringing one of your hands to grab his hair, the other settling on his back, gripping the material of his t-shirt.

He smirked against your skin as his big hands roamed your body. He cupped your breasts roughly, pulling a whimper out of you.

Pulling away from your neck, his eyes settled on your face. His fingers flicked your nipples, playing with them. This made your arousal only grow more.

He retreated his hands and took off your shirt slowly, revealing your tits. He hissed, "Fuck. You're stunning," as he caressed your naked breasts. He leaned down to suck softly on one of your nipples.

"A-alex," you whispered, gripping his hair tighter.

He moaned, enjoying it in his mouth, flicking it with his tongue. He bit down softly on it, making you gasp and your back arch.

"So stiff," he muttered, making your face heat up. His mouth found your other breast, leaving open mouthed-kisses on it, his lips wrapping around your nipple.

His hand made its way down to the zipper of your trousers, and he asked, "Can I take these off?"

You nodded, and he slipped them off you, throwing them on the ground.

He towered above you as his hand went down to your delicate panties, rubbing your arousal, feeling your wetness. The sight would be plaguing his mind for weeks on end.

"Already soaked for me, yeah?" He whispered, soliciting a quiet moan out of you. "Hm?" he looked at you. You gulped, "Yes."

He half-grinned as he pushed the thin material to the side and started stroking your slit. "So drenched," he gasped.

Your skin was on fire, and you moaned quietly. He started teasing your entrance and gathered your slick. He then slipped your underwear past your legs, throwing them somewhere on the bed.

"Spread your legs for me, baby," he uttered, and you obliged, feeling shy under his gaze.

He licked his lips at the sight and stroked your thighs tenderly before returning his finger to your clit. He rubbed it softly, emitting soft moans out of you. His other hand crept on your throat, resting there.

"Oh!" You moaned loudly when he found a spot that made your legs shake and started rubbing your clit faster.

He looked at you in awe, his mouth slightly agape. You were adorable, giving yourself to him completely.

He continued rubbing your bundle of nerves, drinking in all your reactions. He slipped a finger, and you threw your head back, gasping softly.

He pumped in and out of you, and his cock twitched in his pants. He felt painfully hard. He slipped in another finger with ease and stretched you out, his knuckles deep inside you.

Curling them inside, he hit a sweet spot that made your eyes roll. "Think you can handle a third one, sweetheart?"

You nodded, whimpering. Alex's hand snaked to your jaw, opened your mouth, and stuck his thumb inside. You made sure to suck on it.

He pushed his finger in, pulling out a loud whine from you and spreading you out like never before.

"Good girl."

He noticed you clenching around his fingers. "Like it when I call you that?"

You nodded. "Well, you have to earn it," Alex said as he fucked you with his fingers.

Your chest heaved as his other hand went down to your pussy, now playing with your clit.

"Look at you, taking my fingers so well."

Your eyes rolled to the back of your head as he continued to pump in and out of you. "Such a perfect cunt," he mumbled to himself.

You grabbed his wrist roughly, signaling to him that you were getting close. He noticed you were clenching his fingers more, and your moans were getting louder.

He slowed his movements and gently slipped his fingers out of your pussy, leaving you empty.

"Alex…" you whined, your hands grabbing the front of his shirt. Breathing heavily, you looked at him through half-lidded eyes.

"What is it?" he teased you.

"I need you..."

"Need me? For what?" he asked. His cock needed stimulation so badly, but he wanted to make you beg.

You huffed. "I need you to fuck me," you whispered quietly, bringing him closer. "Daddy," you whispered.

He groaned, "Fuck. You're so greedy. Can't be satisfied with what I give you, huh?" he asked, unzipping his trousers, slipping out of them.

You started unbuttoning his shirt quickly, tossing it to the ground. Alex sighed as you roamed your hands on his toned chest.

He removed his boxers swiftly, exposing his thick cock, precum pooling on the head already.

You bit your lip as your hand went down to his member, stroking it, earning a few moans out of him.

He pulled your hand away after a few minutes and grabbed his member, positioning it near your entrance.

He teased your folds with his cock, gathering your wetness and rubbing your clit, letting out soft moans.

He then tapped your entrance and started entering you slowly, filling you to the brim, the sensation bringing tears to your eyes.

You gasped and closed your eyes. Alex grabbed your cheeks. "Look at me," he said hoarsely.

You wrapped your hands around his back and pulled him flush against your chest.

He started moving slowly, letting you get used to the stretch of his cock.

"F-fuck. You feel amazing," he stuttered.

You barely managed to keep your eyes open. You felt so full of him.

Your breaths mixed together, and you pleaded, "Faster, please," he obliged, fucking you faster, making you whimper loudly.

"You look so pretty, taking my cock," he soothed as he slammed his hips into yours, making you gasp.

It felt so good you couldn't contain any of your whimpers and moans. Filthy squelching noises filled the room, making you even more wet around him.

Your sweaty bodies were pressed against each other, and he engulfed your senses. He grabbed one of your breasts roughly, massaging it as his pace became fast and steady, fucking you deliciously.

You felt so fucked-out, your eyes were rolling to the back of your head repeatedly. You felt desperate for him. As he hit a delicious spot inside, you repeatedly cried out his name.

"That's it, baby, scream my fucking name."

He held you close to him as he slammed his cock in and out of you, making you feel every inch of it. He grabbed your jaw and ordered, "Open your mouth."

You did as told, your tongue peeking out, slightly panting. He pursed his lips and spat roughly on your tongue, uttering, "Swallow."

You swallowed, whining, and sank your nails into his back.

"Such a slut for me," he hissed.

You moaned loudly, clenching on his cock uncontrollably. You felt yourself approaching your climax, and he could feel it, too.

"What? You wanna cum?" he teased you.

"Please," you begged, nearing your release for the second time.

"Gonna have to do better than that, love," he replied, slowing down a little.

"Alex, please," you whined. "Don't stop. I need you," you pleaded with him pathetically.

"Do you, now?" he asked, stopping abruptly. He grabbed your jaw roughly, forcing you to look at him.

"No!" you whimpered, your chest heaving. "I'll be so good. Just let me cum."

"Where?" he asked in a husky tone.

"I-," you stuttered.

"Go on, say it," he encouraged you.

"On your cock," you whispered, flushed.

He grunted, "Good girl," his hand immediately going to your pulsating clit. His other hand smacked your cheek harshly.

You whined, tears gathering in your eyes while reveling in the stinging feeling. Cupping it gently, Alex alleviated the pain a little.

"It's alright, princess," he soothed, leaning down to capture your lips in an open-mouthed kiss.

He started fucking your drenched pussy at a fast pace, making you see stars. As he grabbed your waist for leverage, you felt overwhelming pleasure pooling in your abdomen.

Your orgasm was building quickly, ready to snap at any moment, as he thrust into you repeatedly. Your legs were wrapped around him, needing him as close as possible.

His movements were becoming sloppy, an indication of his own climax approaching. Your skin was ablaze, and the way he was moaning was making you delirious.

"Cum on my cock, sweetheart," he said.

"Fuck, Alex!" You screamed and felt waves of pleasure spreading throughout your body as you orgasmed on his cock, convulsing. You were whining uncontrollably.

Your nails were digging into his arm, surely breaking the skin, but you were too cock-drunk to care.

"Fuck, your cunt is so tight," he groaned as he struggled to thrust into you. It only took him a few more thrusts for him to cum inside you, letting out a drawn-out moan.

His hot load completely filled you up, his jaw hanging slack. After he emptied inside you, he collapsed on top, burying his face in your neck.

As you both came down from your high, he pulled out of you gently. He couldn't help but look down at your pussy, admiring the mess he made out of you.

He loved the way his cum seeped out. No one could have you now.

He laid down beside you and stroked your waist. "You alright?" he uttered.

You were still catching your breath and opened your eyes slowly. "Yes," you sighed.

You turned your back to him, feeling exposed. You were still trying to figure out what to do now. Should you…leave or stay? Your thoughts were interrupted by him as he pressed his body against yours and draped an arm over you.

"We should get you cleaned up," he whispered, kissing your shoulder, his arm stroking your stomach.

"Okay," you whispered.

"Want me to draw us a bath?" he asked.

"I love baths…" you muttered.

He chuckled. "Perfect." He pressed a kiss to your head and headed for the bathroom. Soon, the sound of running water reached your ears, and you sat on the bed.

Alex returned with a tender expression. He extended his hand, inviting you to join him in the bathroom.

You felt a bit shy, especially since you were still naked and not hazed by your lust anymore. Alex made sure to hold onto your hand, which reassured you.

You stepped on the cool tiles, and Alex asked, "You want bubbles?"

"Yes," you murmured.

After a few minutes, you eased yourself into the hot water, and so did he, sitting on opposite ends of the bath.

The water had a comforting effect on you as your body melted into it. Alex broke the silence. "Why are you so far away?"

"I don't know. Why are you?" you replied. "Come here," he said, extending his arms to grab yours and turning you around, pressing your back to his naked chest.

You settled yourself between his legs, relaxing against his body, and he wrapped his arms around you. "Why'd you get all shy on me now? You were yelling at me an hour ago," he chuckled.

"I wasn't yelling at you," you furrowed your brows, growing defensive. "I'm just teasing," he whispered close to your ear.

You rolled your eyes. "Whatever," you puffed. "Why are you getting so defensive?" Alex said, holding you tighter.

"Because, I have no idea what this means now," you mumbled.

He smiled, sensing your uncertainty. "Well, what I do know is care about you and…would love to take you out sometime. And do this again," he said, kissing your cheek.

"Me too," you replied, your cheeks flushed.

"Yeah?"

"Mm-hm."

"Why don't you stay the night? It's getting late anyway."

"It's like 8 pm, Alex."

"Exactly. So late," he replied.

You laughed. "I have nothing to wear to bed nor do I have a toothbrush," you protested.

"I can give you a t-shirt. They'll look better on you anyway. And I'll go to the shop and buy you one. How's that sound?"

You giggled. "Okay, you've convinced me."

Leaving the bath, the air between you and Alex felt different, as if the weight of unspoken tensions had been washed away. Wrapping yourselves in fluffy towels, you talked to him effortlessly and discussed what you should eat for dinner.

The decision to spend the night together unfolded effortlessly, and you decided to get some Chinese take-out and watch a chick flick.

Later in the night, you found yourself nestled on Alex's big, comfortable bed and drifted off to a dreamless slumber, comforted by the presence of the man spooning you.

#alex turner #alex turner x reader #if u see any mistakes simply ignore them ok thx #alex turner fluff #alex turner angst #alex turner fanfic #alex turner x you #alex turner x y/n #alex turner fic #alex turner smut #i have no idea what to do for chapter 3 bro #if anyone has any requests hmu #n they lived happily ever after ????#no there must be conflict !!

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